#hyde tyler my beloved

[therulerofallpotatos]

"he must he a good egg. Wednesday wouldnt tolerate anything less"

"he has his mom to thank for that"

🎶foreshadowing🎶

[wallofhearts]

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

I'm going to assume you know a decent amount the Winclair fandom, I'm curious why so many fanfic writers have Wednesday speaking Italian instead of Spanish, considering Netflix Wednesday is pretty firmly considered Latina?

Interesting question. I don’t know for certain, obviously fandom is a community and therefore there are various different perspectives taken when creating fan-content that kind of just amalgamates into various levels of popular and unpopular fanon. So in all honesty I don’t actually know.

But having said that, if I had to wager an educated guess it’s probably a mixture of a few things.

The first being that Wednesday, though Latina in heritage through her father, is also canonically multilingual and Italian is one of the languages she is fluent in. We find this out during her first meeting with Tyler when she fixes the espresso machine.

And though we’ve seen her almost get into a romantic relationship, again with Tyler, that ends almost as soon as it begins when she finds out he’s the Hyde during their first kiss. And so we haven’t yet seen Wednesday take that final step and actually be in a romantic relationship which is where I find most of the Italian comes out in Wenclair fanfic.

One of the more popular fanon concepts is ‘the Gomezification of Wednesday Addams’ which is just Wednesday being as openly affectionate and insanely in love with Enid as Gomez is with Morticia. Sometimes to it’s full extent, though more often than not it’s a more subdued and private version where it tends to stay just between her and Enid and it’s all very cute and romantic.

Obviously as she is multilingual Wednesday and fic authors are then able to take their pick of the more romantic languages she knows when talking to/about Enid. Italian, French and Spanish being the main three that I’ve noticed.

Why Italian is the favoured choice of the three is probably also due to Gomez within previous Addams Family media. Though my favourite will always be the 60’s show most people will be more familiar with the 90’s movies in which Gomez refers to Morticia as Cara Mia (Italian for my beloved) quite frequently.

Though speaking of the 60’s show Gomez is more prone to Querida (Spanish for darling or beloved) in that iteration. So at the end of the day it’s a matter of preference for the author and also likely to them being unfamiliar with the romantic languages and going off of other Wenclair authors and/or using previous Addams Family media in which Italian is often used and spiralling onwards.

[ficsofabotchedmind]

Bye-Bye my blue baby

Summary? Nope, ehehhe. 🤭

Warnings? God yes.; Talks of death and stabbing, Larissas death, graphic depiction of Larissas death, Morticia in great pain, a shitton of angst

------------------------------------------------------

Morticia was in her conservatory when her crystal ball started to glow, being excited knowing it was her daughter, answered, “Hello, my little bat! Why are you covered in blood and who was it?” 

Wednesday stared at her mother for a second trying to work through a way to tell her that Larissa Weems was no dead, so she took a breath and said, “Marylin is Laurel Gates, Laurel killed Weems, she and Tyler kidnapped me, stabbed me but Goody saved me, then Tyler transformed into the Hyde and tried to kill me again, Enid saved me, Crackstone came back to life and tried to annihilate all out casts but I killed him with help, and then I nearly beat Laurel to death with a shovel.” 

Morticia didn’t hear the rest, all she heard was that Larissa, her ex roommate, friend, and girlfriend, was now dead. She didn’t realize she was staring at that Wednesday was calling her. 

Wednesday let out a sharp and loud, “Mother!” 

Morticia snapped back, “Yes, my darling?” 

“Are you okay, Mother?” Wednesday, who was actually worried, asked 

Morticia, while smiling a smile that was clearly faked, said, “I’m alright, my little death trap. How was dear Goody Addams?” 

Wednesday, not buying but humoring her mother, snarked, “Incredibly stupid but now inside of me somehow, she healed me by becoming a part of me.” 

Morticia, who was still clearly focusing on that one detail, merely hummed and said, “Well, as long as you showed no mercy and caused great pain then I am very delighted.” 

Wednesday, deciding to give her mother alone time, said, “I need to go mother, the teachers here are incompetent and have no clue what they are doing. Will you be alright?” 

Morticia, swallowing around the lump in her throat, said, “Yes, I will be quite alright, my little bat. Now go show them what you are made of my darling.” 

And with that, both of them hung up. Morticia stared at the ball and then spoke, “Show me the last moments of Larissa Weems.” 

The ball spoke, “Child, I do not wish to show you that of which will hurt you.” 

Morticia let out an inhuman noise and spoke, “Show me the death of Larissa Weems.” 

The ball made a noise but compiled, and so began an hour long journey of Morticia watching Larissa get injected with Nightshade, drop to the floor, convulse, and ultimately die. Morticia just kept staring into Larissa’s eyes and watching how they shone with confidence, anger, fear, and then ultimately drained of all life. 

Morticia swiped her hand over that ball over and over and over again, tears dripping down her cheeks as she watched the woman she loved die, repeatedly. 

Morticia, no longer able to stand, faltered as Larissa faltered in her last moments, tears now streaming, a scream unlike anything ever heard ripping its way out from deep within. The scream echoed throughout the conservatory, through the halls of the manor, through each room, reaching the ears of Pugsley and Gomez.  

Gomez wisely told their son to stay behind and as he trekked through the hall of the manor, the paintings were weeping with his beloved. He made his way into the conservatory where he saw Morticia, on her knees, one hand clutching her chest and the other her stomach, screaming in pure pain.  

He looked up and was greeted with the sight he never wished to see, a friend who now lay dead upon the ground. Gomez then looked around, even the plants were weeping with their caretaker and Morticia's beloved Cleopatra trying to get to her caretaker to be of some comfort. 

Gomez then snapped out of it and stopped the ball, he made his way towards Morticia but as soon as he tried to gather her in his arms, she let out a piercing cry and sobbed out, "Just leave. Please, leave me here. Walk out and shut the door and leave me to grieve." 

Gomez being Gomez obeyed his wife's orders, he walked out, shut the door, and gathered Pugsley and went for a walk to give his wife space while he did his own grieving for a lost friend. 

Morticia laid on the floor of the conservatory for hours, head lying on the marble flooring, tears streaming down her cheeks, arms curled around herself, broken cry's ripping their way from her body. 

She doesn't know how long had passed when she then felt a hand upon her shoulder and heard a voice, "Really, Mo? I thought you had more composure than this." 

Morticia gasped, whirled around, spotted through her tears Larissa Weems, and let out another broken cry of despair but then spoke in a shaky voice, "Issa! Oh Issa! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I couldn't help you, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I left. I'm so sorry." 

Larissa, no longer blinded by her own pain and anger at Morticia, carefully approached, "Oh Mo, I forgive you. Gomez and I should never have put you in such a position. Come here, my porcelain dove." 

With that Morticia crumbled into the arms of her love. Yes, even after the years she still loved the woman for she had never stopped. Morticia, clinging to the blonde beauty, howled in pain but Larissa just cradled the woman, rocked her, and combed her fingers gently through the raven locks. They stood there for what seemed like hours but in reality, it was just a mere 15 minutes.  

With much pain, Larissa pulled back a little, "Look at me, my dear dove." 

Morticia looked up and into Larissas eyes, they were white. Morticia cried out and looked away once more and Larissa, realizing what happened, altered her eyes back to the gorgeous blue they once were  

"Is that better, my love?" Larissa softly asked 

Morticia, peering once again through tears, spotted the blue eyes she knew and still loves, "Yes. Yes, it's much better, thank you." 

"Morticia, while I did not want to go, I'm glad it was me instead of that hell spawn you call a daughter." Larissa let out with a light chuckle 

She continued, "My love, I forgive you now. I hold no hate, no anger, no bitterness of any kind any longer. My last wish is for you to no longer beat yourself up over the past but live for now." 

Morticia, knowing this was a possible goodbye forever, said, "Alright, I can't promise anything, my stately Sequoia but I can try." 

Larissa smiled, "That's all I ask, my dear. That's all I ever ask. Although I do have to admit I did tear your picture out, not my finest moment but well, no take backs." 

Morticia let out a wet a broken laugh, "I know, but you were always rather beautiful when angry." 

Larissa smiled gently, knowing their time together was nearing the end, gave a gentle smile, "It's coming to an end, Mo. I have to go, my darling. Morticia, I love you, I will always love you, and I will be by your side no matter where you go. I'll always be there Morticia, you may not see me, but I will be there." 

Morticia, holding in a scream of despair, asked, "Can I kiss you one last time, my darling?" 

Larissa smiled and nodded, "Of course you can, my love." 

Morticia gently cupped Larissas cheeks, looked in her eyes one last time and said, "I love you, my shifty shifter." And placed a soft kiss upon cold lips. 

With that Larissa faded and the last thing Morticia heard was, "I love you too, my darling dove." 

Morticia collapsed to her knees, tore her eyes open, glared at the heavens, face crumpling in anguish, then she let out a gut wrenching cry of despair that made even the devil shed a tear. 

Wrapping her arms around herself and collapsing to the floor, Morticia lay there screaming in pure agony, tears streaming down her face and all she could think was, "My love is gone, never to return." 

[tequiilasunriise]

Okay more screaming about Wednesday specifically THAT moment during the final ep:

Enid walks out of a forest, covered in blood and wounds from her previous battle for her life. Enid was shown to be (incredibly justifiably) afraid of creepy shit like exploring spooky ass mansions or going in the woods, but homegirl did not hesitate to RUN through those dark, murder-filled woods in order to find Wednesday. I believe her wolfie form was triggered by not just the powerful blood moon, but also her deep sense of protectiveness over Wednesday. Like, she literally JUMPKICKED Hyde!Tyler’s ass when he was choking out her moon even though this is her first shift and she has no prior experience with controlling her wolfed out state. That’s…. Pretty fucken gay and the fight scene was pretty fucken AWESOME with how visceral it got. Apollo really looked at the ao3 fics we were pumping out and said, “Bet.”

Furthermore, the fact that Wednesday instantly recognized Enid in the midst of all of this adrenaline rushing and shadowy scenery? How Enid initially snarled at Wednesday but seemed to pause and calm down a little upon recognizing her ? Calming down to the point where our beloved ray of sunshine got distracted mid-fight and gave Tyler an opportunity to strike back? Also super fucken mega gay behavior, like yes Enid my darling that’s your girl I know you were so worried over her bUT MY GOD FOCUS ON THE SERIAL KILLER RIGHT BEHIND YOU BABYGIRL I KNOW THIS IS YOUR FIRST SHIFT BUT GODDAMN!!!

I will never shut up about the Hug Scene™️ and its buildup. Enid stumbling out of the woods all blood covered and even though she’s in Ajax’s arms she isn’t like, “Thank god you’re safe” or whatever. No, she takes one look around and immediately asks in a soft, shaky voice, “Where’s Wednesday?” AND THAT TINY MOMENT OF DISTRESS ON HER FACE WHEN NO ONE ANSWERS HER. ARGH. EMMA PLLEASSEEE YOURE FEEDING US SO WELL. When Enid sees Wednesday walking out she a) is the first one to even recognize Wednesday’s silhouette against the fog b) HER IMMEDIATE RELIEF IS SO PLAIN TO SEE ON MY GOD c) does not hesitate to pull away from Ajax and fucken sprint into Wednesday’s arms.

The.

Slow.

Motion.

THE SLOW MOTION YOUR HONOR.

Gods, that just emphasized the sheer gravity of this moment SO MUCH, after so many attempts to hold her moon close Enid finally says, “FUCK IT” and goes right in because fer all she knew Wednesday could have been dead by now. The way she tightly embraces Wednesday before pulling back with so much relief and T E A R S, my god Emma you understood the assignment so well. Wednesday’s wide-eyed stare shifting into equally intense passion as she suddenly pulls Enid back to into her arms and they just CLING to each other with amazing shots of how emotional their expressions are. So fucken full of love and relief and wanting. I especially love the way you can see everyone in the background smiling at the pair. Shit dude, even Ajax shared a knowing look with another student, like even HE knows that Wenclair reigns supreme. The whole school be approving of Wenclair fr fr they witness this devotion-filled hug scene and collectively go, “Yeah, those two belong together. We ship it.”

The hug was so fucken tender. My god. It was a choice made by both of them, a choice both Enid and Wednesday made with equal fervor. They didn’t need words anymore, Jenna’s phenomenal acting gave Wednesday a longing stare that said it all. The way Enid’s hands spread across Wednesday’s back as she clings close, Wednesday’s eyes squeezing shut as if she’s just begging for this moment to last without any visions to get in the way. The final shot of the two embracing with her heads tucked so firmly into the crook of the other’s neck. Seriously, I’ve read some VERY top tier Wenclair fanfics, but none were as so potently, “Fuck… I almost lost this. I almost lost her” as the canon Hug Scene™️. I was losing hope for any Wenclair goodness that could balance out the sheer throw up that was Enid and Ajax making out, but the Hug Scene™️ literally broke into my house, dragged me outta my bed by my scruff, and went about beating the living shit outta me in my own kitchen at 5 am in the morning and it was AMAZING. Wenclair Slowburn Truthers rise up, because my god do we have a solid foundation to work with.

[themundanemudperson]

Power Rangers Dino Charge: End of Season Review

So I thought making reviews for every Power Rangers season that I've seen would be fun! (And I'm ignoring the physics lab report I have to do lmao)

Don't really expect anyone to read this but eh this is for fun

Fave Character: Prince Phillip III of Zandar. He's my little bitch babygirl <3

Fave Ship: Chiley!!! Green/black ships my beloved. My fave rarepair is Phillip/Ivan. The gay devotion in knight/prince ships is peak

Fave Non-Romantic Relationship: Kendall, James, and Phillip. Auxillary Rangers ftw!! (fuck Zenowing)

Fave Episode: The Tooth Hurts! Chiley ep of all time

General Thoughts:

Dino Charge was the first season of Power Rangers that I'd ever seen, and was the thing that got me into the fandom, so I'll always have a soft spot for it. But even rewatching it recently has it hold up.

The characters in this show are what I think makes it one of the best Power Rangers seasons, and the best Neo Saban. All of them are so great, and while they never got too much depth (curse you adults that think kids can't handle complicated things) but they're still such interesting people. Dino Charge had a large cast, and they didn't always handle that many people that well (the auxiliary Rangers unfortunately get little to no attention), but the cast, in my opinion, is what made it so great.

The main cast is so lovable. Tyler, while he can be a little bland at times, is a little cutie so he's great. Chase is an interesting character that's very fun to watch. Koda is the heart of the team and he's a perfect little angel. Riley is our canonically gay (via the actor) overachiever representation. Shelby is also overachiever representation, with academic pressure from parents too! Then you have Ivan. Our loyal and chivalrous knight out of time. The gay devotion is real with this one.

I'm going to cut myself off here, because you probably get the point. I love the cast of Dino Charge. Barring Zenowing and Keeper. They're just useless to me

And because these characters are interesting people, they also have such fun dynamics with each other. I love that the Rangers really feel like a found family. You can examine any relationship between the Rangers and have something to talk about. I mentioned Kendall, Phillip and James earlier as my fave platonic dynamic, but there are a lot more to look at. Tyler and Chase as himbo bros, Riley and Shelby as gay besties , Koda, Kendall and Chase with their familial bond as they were the first Rangers together... they're all great.

And the villain situation in Dino Charge was.... interesting.

The concept of fighting a bounty hunter that captures his monsters from all over the universe is cool, especially because it gives an explanation as to why the monster of the week fights so hard - they'd win their freedom if they brought back an energem. But Sledge himself was kind of a boring villain to me. He never actually has any kind of motivation for getting the energems - we don't know if he wants them for universal domination or to sell them to the highest bidder. So he felt kind of flat to me. I did love Poisandra, Curio, Wrench and Fury though. I liked that they had more personality. And Poisandra is my girl and I love her. She should've gotten a redemption arc. Fury was also an interesting character because of his rivalry with Ivan. I do wish they explored it more, but what we did get was cool.

And after Sledge was defeated, we got Heckyl and Snide! Quite obviously a Jeckyll and Hyde reference, these two were much more interesting to me than Sledge. Heckyl's backstory is so sad 😭 and I love him more for it. The concept of a villain infiltrating the Rangers place of work and pretending to be their friend was so awesome. I wish he was a double agent for longer (and that they didn't wipe his memory of their base) but I liked it.

Then you had Arcanon for a little bit. This was so fucking stupid. Dino Charge made an original villain in Sledge, so I think they shouldn't have bothered with trying to work Arcanon in there (his Sentai counterpart was the head villain). It felt too rushed and they could've introduced the dark energem with something else.

And then surprise! Sledge again! Also hated that to be honest. They defeated him the first time. Why bring him back.

We don't talk about that finale. We don't

Technically I have to if I want to talk about Dino Charge (unfortunately) so all I'm going to say is that it's stupid and I hate it. Ivan and Koda never leave and they never fuck up the timeline with that dumbfuck idea thanks <3

(Genuinely there's a discussion to be had about the character assassination that was committed by making Koda and Ivan - who had accepted that they were men out of time and living lives with their new family - went back in time for some fucking reason, but that's for another post)

Now! Onto something I actually want to talk about! The Sentai adaptation vs the Power Rangers. I've seen both, so y'all are getting my thoughts as to how well they adapted it. I think Dino Charge did an amazing job. They didn't take what happened in Kyoryuger and copy that exactly (cough cough Samurai cough cough). They made their own story and used the footage well

I also want to talk about the thing that makes Power Rangers iconic - the actual Ranger bit. I'm talking about the power source, the suits, the zords, and the Super mode.

I really liked the energems as a power source. The idea of ancient stones created at the dawn of the universe that bonded to dinosaurs, then people, is really cool. I have issues with the "energems give them immortality" bit (because I'm sad that they have to watch their friends and family die) but it really does make sense. They are bonded to something that is ancient and powerful, and there should be some side effects from that.

Now for the suits! (One could argue that the suits are more of the Sentai's influence but I'm treating them as solely Dino Charge right now). I really love the Dino Charge suits. They already get points in my book for not having fucking lips (which I hate with a burning passion), but they do look cool on their own. I love solidly coloured suits that don't have white or black pants. The helmets are also really cool, and I love the dinosaur heads incorporated in them. So the DIno Charge suits are great to me

The zords in Dino Charge are also awesome. They look really cool. I wish they could be small to hang out with their Rangers, but alas, we can't have everything 😔

The Super mode in Dino Charge was a pretty solid one. I liked that Rexy could be small to fight alongside Tyler. Don't love the white on the suit, but at least his normal suit is a nice, solid red.

So yeah! That's my Dino Charge review. Thanks for sticking around after that word vomit lol. I love this season so fucking much

[broken-everlark]

Welp my dumbass decided to make Wednesday pokemon trainer cards instead of updating my WIPs. Which I'm going to do after I post this🤣

I'm not fully happy about Tyler, eugene, and the xaviers teams. Those may change.

Almost everyone always gets a legendary/mythical.

I know literally no one will read this or care. But I figured I could post it anyway.

I gave her Skorupi because of Nero, so he's her partner.

Gliscor because he's just a beast of a mon and reminds me of a scorpion/bat that fits Wednesday's dark theme. Tyler had given this to her as a present. On their first anniversary, it immediately became a favorite.

Corviknight because Wednesday is referred to as the Raven, and he just seems like the most raven mon (even though he's a crow). Wednesday found this pokemon back when it was a Rookiedee. It had fallen out of its nest. Instead of feeding it to her mother's Pyroar, she kept it.

Hydreigon because he's just a dark dragon, and I feel like he fits Wednesday's style. Wednesday had found him as a deino, the poor blind Dino had injured himself. She decided to take him in and raise him to become a terrifying dragon.

Dusknoir because he's a big scary ghost that eats souls in his chest. Out of all the ghost types, i feel like this one fits Wednesday the most. This mon snuck up on Wednesday and followed her throughout a haunted graveyard, not giving up until she caught him.

It was between Giratina (the underworld/antimatter legend) or Yveltal. Her legend I chose is Yveltal, He's the legendary of Death, basically destroying everything in sight.

(I feel bad for doing this to Tyler)

His partner - Cubone - because they both lost their moms. Cubone wears his mothers dead skull on his head. Tyler's mother had given this to him just before she passed.

(Might replace.) Bewear - literally because Tyler is sweet & adorable on the outside, but on the inside, he's hiding a dangerous monster, just like bewear.

Mimikyu - because the creature inside the suit just wants to be loved, just like Tyler. So he hides behind a suit made up of a beloved pokemon. But everytime it's trainer looks underneath the suit, they die.

Scovillian - because it's a funny play on Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Two faces, two different personalities.

Garchomp - Because this mon is anger filled and very hard to tame also very powerful. Kinda reminds me of the hyde.

His legend is Mewtwo. A legend made by humans and hates humanity. Reminds me of Tyler's tragic past, hating others who don't understand what he's been through.

Her partner is a shiny Spheal - Honestly, I just feel like Enid would love every single pokemon that's adorable.

Shiny) Politoad because he's just a very happy frog, and I feel like it matches. It Enids a very bubbly personality.

Arcanine - i feel like even though it's a big scary dog, she loves it because it's Fluffy and loyal. Just like Enid.

Lycanroc (Day form) just a little nod to her wolf form.

Dragonair - Honestly, it's just a beautiful mid evo that I feel like Enid would love

And her legend is Mew. It's just a cute, sweet cat that has all the DNA of each pokemon. Something I think Enid would take care of and love.

So Ajax's starter is Ivysaur - because the bulbasaur line is famous for smoking grass

Ekans because of Ajax being a Gorgon and his little snakes poke their heads out sometimes.

Slowbro because it seems like a good pokemon to get high with.

Hisuian Typhlosion because he just looks like a depressed cool boy like my baby Ajax.

Noivern - because I just see Ajax being the chill guy at parties and noiverns ears remind me of speakers.

His legend is a shiny Rayquaza just because he's a giant space snek noodle🤣

Eugene's starter is a shiny caterpie, figured he'd just be a bug type trainee.

Beedrill - because of his powers to control bees.

Heracross- same as the caterpie. Just figured he'd have a bug army.

Dewpider because he's just an adorable bean like Eugene.

Appletun because I just feel like he'd love chunky pokemon. Because chunky pokemon are the best.

wobbuffet because its a psychic pokemon and it's insane ability to use counter and I feel like Eugene would need a happy mon to keep him company.

Yes Eugene doesn't get a legend. Just couldn't find one that fit.

Her partner being Primarina - has to do with her being a siren outcast. Her partner looks like a mermaid and sings like sirens and mermaids are known for.

Being the popular girl at school, I'd imagine she'd have tons of beautiful pokemon. A florges. Being a bouquet of flowers fits that perfectly

Again, Hatterene fits the popular girl status perfectly. Another beautiful fairy type to add to Bianca's team

Bianca would also have a shiny Altaria, it being her pride since it's a rare golden color.

Beautifly - a rare evolution of Wurmple, being very beautiful & every time it flaps its wings, sparkly pollen falls with each flap.

I chose Meloetta fighting form for her mythical pokemon. It has unique singing abilities, and being strong but beautiful would fit Bianca perfectly.

Xavier surprisingly got a card. I didn't want to download a picture of him into my phone so he gets no picture.

He gets a shiny muk as his partner. Because he looks like throw up. Just like how I feel about Xaviers character.

He gets an Exeggutor because it's derpy in a stupid way🤣

Grafaiai because he's an artist.

Garbordor - because it's a pokemon made of trash.

Xavier does get a legend. But it's the worst one. He gets regice because it's a trash legend.🤣

[novemberwasgrey]

We already established that Wenvier has so many parallels with Wednesday's parents. But I just realized something:

If Xavier is Wednesday's Gomez (cute outcast classmate from Nevermore)... does that make Tyler her Garrett (normie who can't take no for an answer with the disapproving dad) ??

Like imagine in the last seasons if we get the same fighting scene between Tyler and Xavier: Tyler lost his mind due to his Hyde being out of control and he's been obsessing over Wednesday, he comes back to Nevermore, sees her and Xavier kissing now that they're together and tries to kill him.

Except Wednesday probably wouldn't panic like Morticia, she'd just take the same sword and slice him up without a doubt like "you interrupted me and my beloved. Farewell."

[lovepoison9]

Romantic things to call your psycho lover - Wednesday to Tyler addition

Mi monstruo

Mi criatura

Estúpido

Monstrous lover

Beloved part-time barista

Favorite worst barista

Sweet creature

Psychotic sweetie

Hyde boi

Barista boi

Psycho killer

My murder boi

My sweet pathetic psychopath

My desperate lil coffee boy

My perfect murderer

My sweet hunter

👿🥀👹

Thanks you @cosmic-lullaby for helping me come up with these terms of endearments!

[lady-murderess]

RE: the WIP list game, I would love to hear a little bit about chapter 2 of cat ears and curses! I absolutely loved the first part 🖤

omg hiiii lady!! I'm glad you loved the first part, I had fun writing it 😌

here's the snippet!

"You never let me finish my sentence." The Hyde suddenly interrupted as Tyler was in the middle of handing a black coffee over the counter to one of his customers, the voice startling him to the point where he almost spilled the drink all over the them… Which was not an ideal situation to be in, the last thing Tyler needed right now was to get shouted at.

Looking at him, it was almost as if he didn't have some ravenous, cruel beast trying to start a fight with him inside his head. As he tried to ignore his monster, Tyler looked incredibly sheepish and refused to look the customer in the face. He needed to ignore him and desperately try to pull himself together in order to do some quick damage control, but that didn't seem to stop the Hyde.

"Don't ignore me, Galpin. You know that you and I are one in the same. We share the same thoughts, the same feelings… You may want to be gentle with our beloved Wednesday, but don't tell me that you've never thought about all the cruel things we could do to her… She isn't as fragile as you try to convince yourself, you know. Personally, I think she'd quite enjoy a bit of rough play, don't you?" There the Hyde goes again...

aaaaand here we have the Hyde just being his usual self whilst Tyler is having a mini crisis at work. But that's what Tyler gets for constantly having his favourite kitty on the brain... 💀

[weaslby926]

Finally finished watching Wednesday and here's my takes:

1. Tyler's Hyde looks like it was ripped straight out of plants vs zombies and I COULD NOT UNSEE IT it was hilarious. Maybe Wednesday should've used some of those carnivorous plants against him

2. Uncle Fester was introduced just to infodump convenient plot info and then left? I guess he saved Thing but it felt like Thing only got stabbed to give Fester something to do (Also they thinnified him, how dare they?)

3. Though the rest of the Addams were done well and Wednesday was gold tier the whole show

4. Eugene commands the BEES and they had to put him into a coma or he would've become the main character

5. Did they ever explain the psychic connection between Tyler and Xavier? No? Why not?

6. Wednesday playing the cello my beloved. Every scene with the cello was exquisite

7. BIANCA MY BELOVED

8. Spiritual ancestor ex machina, available now for stab wounds!

9. NEVERMORE AESTHETIC MY BELOVED

[wednesdaysgun]

you’re awful, I love you. tyler x wednesday

a tyler POV drabble about how he sees our beloved wednesday. includes religious imagery, sub tyler til i die. also tyler references she/her (wednesday) with capitals. like god is referenced as Him. 

I’ve never felt anything like this before. Everything stops: the thoughts, the fear, the constant noise in my brain. Her quietness brings company, Her control brings sanity. Wednesday looks at me, and my mind runs in circles. It’s a vicious circle I can never return from, nor would I want to. Her presence, just sitting in the corner of my eye for hours, is forever soothing the thing that lurks inside me. My lungs kinda feel restricted, every time I walk. Every time I just sit there and think. Every time She invites me to the dorm. Every time She’s even in my brain, which is basically constant, I can imagine Her wrapping my ribs with packing tape then using it as a leash on me. Or Her first connecting with my face in such a way I spill Her favourite colour. But I love it, you already know that. How could I not. She loves me. I never thought I’d get that, the feeling of someone on my side. Commanding and protecting my heart and blood-tinged hands. I never thought anybody would love me the way She does- when She watches me in the forest with such intent that it distracts me from the still-dying rabbit that hangs in the Hyde’s jaw. Wednesday scares me- but not the way everyone else is scared of Her.

And I’m being honest, I love Her too. God, it drives me crazy. I sit there in my bed alone, replaying every interaction. Every look and shared frenzied thought. Her unpredictability makes me feel like I’m in fucking heat or something- Constantly waiting for the match to be lit on the gasoline She douses me in.

Wednesday scares me because She speaks my thoughts, when She speaks that is. It scares me, I guess, because I’m now commanded to be myself- no restriction. Well, except hunting outcasts and anything above three-years of age. Such kindness from a Master was more than welcome. I’m just happy I have something to believe in again. This life has been miserable, showed me that even when you’re built with these abilities that people will still try to corrupt you. Reduce you down. And it worked, I felt myself die a little bit every day until one day there was nothing left. Now I’m a Frankenstein-like being, a mix of a literal fucking monster and a sociopath with daddy issues. But She allowed me to be reborn, under new light and new power. She glorifies me, allows me to bathe in the ecstasy the kill brings. 

Now, between you and I, I’ve never been a religious nut. Jericho is just as religious as it seems with witches running around just up the hill. Prejudice and the Institution built this town in the form of Crackstone, bad foundations will never allow any form of harvest. Jericho will never be anything but a rotten, open grave in my book. The deaths of so many innocents with nothing to show for. It just proved to me that God didn’t exist, everyone just wanted a saviour. I never wanted to be saved, until I needed it. And She came.

Wednesday is my God. I believe it, hand on wicked heart. Her calculated madness and overwhelming power, just watching her is enough to prove it to me. Wednesday doesn’t lose, doesn’t back down. She doesn’t play by the rules of this life like everybody else. She laughed at first, when I told her, but she enjoys it. She encourages it, with light suggestion of course. I’m Her avid follower, Her devotee. I will love Her until She kills me dead, and I will continue to follow Her after I’m long gone.

[sapphosclown]

i just finished watching wednesday on netflix and i wanna talk about it

spoilers ahead

first and foremost i would like to say i am not a fan of the addams family, i do not know pretty much anything about the lore or anything other than the basic stuff, goth family, morticia and gomez are in love, wednesday is spooky. i wanted to watch this show for two reasons, i wanted to see more of the addams family and i think jenna ortega is pretty.

now that thats out of the way, i saw some people critiquing the family dynamics of the netflix show, saying the big thing about the addams family is that whilst being goth and morbid they love each other and the fact that was changed in the show really softened a blow for them. considering i haven’t seen past versions i don’t want ti comment too much on this. i will say tho, i think maybe giving wednesday mommy issues was cheap writing because i think a loving family dynamic would have made for more interesting characters. the switch up i can only imagine came into play because they needed a way to draw out the plot/leave wednesdays visions a mystery for longer.

speaking of cheap writing, i did find the show a bit corney from an outside perspective. i think the actors did a great job, especially jenna ortega, but the writing was meh and the plot was predictable, to me at least. that’s not to say it wasn’t enjoyable. i truly enjoyed my watch through and had a fun time watching and trying to put together the puzzle with wednesday. i will say i predicted that plot twist half way through the show purely because it seemed right there and i thought it would be funny. a lot of little moments i totally saw coming.

the plot itself wasn’t bad, persay, but i would’ve liked it to be different. the heavy focus on romance/the love triangle was not something i expected but i really should have to be honest. i didn’t have any expectations walking into the show so i can’t say definitively what i would’ve liked to see instead. again, an enjoyable watch if you’re just watching something for the hell of it but it didn’t feel like anything special to me, just another retold story of a beloved character.

the thing that distracted me maybe the most the whole time was the cgi of the hyde. literally what the fuck was that. why did it look so fucking goofy. i literally couldn’t even be stressed when it was on screen bc of how goofy it looked. ESPECIALLY when it showed tyler turning into the hype, damn near peed my pants. there’s no way they’re budget was that damn small that they couldn’t get some better special effects. like i can’t tell if it was supposed to be goofy as a style choice or if they just ran out of money for that part. i watched the entirety of First Kill (also on netflix) which had many reviews on the poor sfx and i truly think the hyde was worse than anything in that show.

on a little bit of a separate tangent but relating back to first kill, it’s a little frustrating that this show honestly was just as corney as first kill was but this one will probably get a second season but first kill won’t. whether it be the queer love story or it just simply isn’t as marketable as the addams family, it makes me sad.

i’m regards to the romance, i truly think from the bottom of my heart wednesday and enid should have gotten together. assuming there will be a season 2 i would still like to see them end up together. their hug at the end of episode 8 brought more emotion than any scene they had with their love interests. and i don’t want to say that platonic love can’t be portrayed like that, because i love platonic love and would be happy to see more of it. but id also be happy to see sapphic content, especially in something as recognizable and popular as the addams family. not to mention how queer themes already present themselves relevantly in the plot. this whole “outcasts vs normies” thing is a painfully obvious reflection on minority groups. wednesday being the odd one out even in her own strange family would be so well tied together in her also being queer. not to mention the blatant metaphor in the parents day episode about enid wolfing out and being afraid her family won’t accept her if she doesn’t fit their expectations. a sapphic love story between enid and wednesday would have enhanced the plot substantially and made it feel more fleshed out than a half assed love triangle with two white boys i can barley tell apart. i would take a focused story of these two girls falling for each other over the other one any day.

not to mention, wednesday did not really like tyler nor xavier. she only cared about herself and used them to get what she wanted/needed. and i love it for her! but why did they try to say she liked them! especially tyler! she had absolutely zero interest in him romantically. i honestly wanted to like it so bad but there was nothing between them to me. he clearly had feelings for her but she did not reciprocate them. on the other hand, i believe wednesday loves enid, if not proven by their hug. there was a solid chemistry between the two of them and while consistently shown in their em sections of the screen it was deliberate to me in a way i don’t think i can dissect right now having only watched once. but neither of their love interests had the chemistry they had with each other and i really wish they would’ve just gone with that story or head that direction next season.

i think i will probably watch the show again, i enjoyed it. i’ll enjoy reading analysis of it because i just love film analysis. i think the visuals were pretty (besides the hyde don’t even). and most of all jenna ortega’s take on wednesday addams was, in my lowly opinion, wonderfully executed, despite the writing and plot, i loved her and feel like she fit the part very well. watching her do her little dancey dance is mesmerizing and i’m in love with her.

i believe that’s all i have to say, i just had many many thoughts as i was watching and i really wanted to express them. thanks for reading if anyone did, this was a little nonsenish. i’d love to hear other opinions as well :)

[kaizsche]

WYLER MY BELOVED TOXIC ROMANCE!!!!!!!! I wanted them together even before I learned Tyler was the Hyde, cause he got her in a way Xavier never did, and wasn't pushy as hell like him. And when I learned he was the Hyde it only solidified my Wyler shipping heart because they are PERFECT for each other. Wednesdays love for dark and violent things, and Tyler is just that dark and violent. It's perfectly juxtaposed to his rather sweet facade he had going on.

same tbh i was like... there ain't no way they're gonna pair wednesday up with this crusty ass kid and was very pleased when tyler's THE love interest.

i kept screaming about wyler being perfect for each other too!!! a friend of mine hated the wyler ship cause in her opinion wednesday's asexual which... i mean valid (cause she watched the films) and then i kept screaming in her face because if wednesday DID get attracted to someone it makes sense that she'll fall for tyler who just fits the addams family dynamic perfectly.

hoping we got more of them in s2, honestly. writers pls do your job properly this time and give me the wednesday is tyler's new master storyline pls or i will choke on my vomit and die

[mk-wizard]

As said in an old article, my take on the board of governors was that each of them symbolised the seven deadly sins. I didn't get a chance to showcase all the governors in my books, but my aim is to someday turn my story into a cartoon (or to start, a radio show on YouTube) which will give me a chance to develop the others. Here is a revision of their profiles;

Sir Danvers Carew (Greed): We already know he is all about money. He is in charge of all the businesses, the black markets and acts as the recruiter. He is also the smoothest talker, so he tends to act as the communicator and he gives all of the presentations. He can convince almost anyone that even the most heinous act is somehow noble when he or any board member does it. Carew is also (as we know) Hyde's archenemy.

Lord Lupin Savage (Wrath): While Carew is the most beloved in the public eye, Savage is actually head of the board. He is a wolfman as well as an ex-boxer who got banned for life from the sport due to excessive violence. Ironically, he know controls all of the sporting and competitive events of London in such a way that he has them all fixed to either line the pockets or further the image of the rich. Savage is also not above playing dirty to win any game he plays.

Lady Lilith Beaconsfield (Lust): Behind this pretty face is a complete and total snake. Lady Beaconsfield got to the top by using husband after husband then successfully divorcing them after framing them for abusive behaviour. In the process, she collected her shares which lead to her owning all of the banks in England. Even now, she still uses her beauty and womanhood to charm her way out of any situation. If that's not enough, she runs the prostitution and burlesque rings in secret. I had intended for her to have the hots for Jekyll. Solely for his coin of course. With that said, I wanted her to have history with Lucy Harris.

Father Ernest Basingstoke (Sloth): This evil priest plays up the sin of sloth in that he doesn't care enough about anyone to help anyone, but himself. He is an opportunist who uses his position as the head priest to get away with washing his hands of anything that could be tied to him. Behind closed doors, he is actually in charge of the high rolling gambling rings. Basingstoke is also quite the old miser. Despite being the high priest, he is not very liked by his peers and he has a reputation of not having respect for the wizard community's faith. With that said, he was supposed to have friction with the Uttersons because Utterson married Camilla who is a wizard without requiring her to convert to his faith or lifestyle. In Basingstoke's eyes, he does not consider Camilla truly married to Utterson for that reason. Fun fact: Utterson's uncle is a priest, but he is nothing like Basingstoke.

Lady Guinevere Rain (Pride): Lady Rain is a vain, conceited and materialistic elf who feels a sense of entitlement to having all the praise and love in the world yet feels too far above everyone to give any in return. She runs the fashion industry which she runs with an iron fist and treats her workers horrendously. She is not even above resorting to violence like destroying their work or slapping them while shouting at them. In the dark, she runs the illegal trade of exotic animals, and at times even specific races, for any purpose the buyer is willing to pay for. I had intended for Rain to have Tyler as her archenemy because I meant for him to have a sister who aspires to be a fashion designer, but Rain won't give a lower class members a chance. Also, being a beastman, his faith demands for him to respect nature and animals.

Dr. Archibald Proops (Gluttony): Dr. Proops is a goblin who studied with Jekyll back in the day in the chemistry field, but lacks all of the ethics Jekyll did and unlike Hastie Lanyon, he could afford to get away with it and go further. Proops is in charge of the hospitals and the trade of over the counter medicines one can get without a prescription. He also helps Lady Rain with the manufacturing of cosmetics because of his field of expertise. Underneath it all, he is an overglorified drug dealer in both the dark and even in the light as he sneaks addictive elements into all of his products. With this all said, I wanted him to be Jekyll's archenemy. He's not a glutton himself. He just exploits the gluttony of others. People forget that gluttony is not reserved only for eating. Drug addicts and alcoholics can be considered as gluttons as well.

Judge Matthew Glossop (Envy): Glossop is the judge who Carew bribed long ago into trying Poole as guilty in return for a seat on the board. Since he is in charge of the law, he has the power to try the innocent as guily or vice versa whenever it benefits the board. Despite getting to be on the board thanks to Carew, he has a rivalry with him mostly because he also tends to recruit the illegal workmen, but Carew tends to be better at picking them. Glossop also has history with Sgt. Drumwell or rather, with Judge Drumwell who was the sergeant's father. He had a rather unfriendly rivalry with Judge Drumwell through their careers and also their love lives as they both loved the same woman. Glossop never got over than he lost his crush to what he considered as a big ugly troll (back in the day, Glossop had more hair and was in shape). Now, he is a complete bully to Sgt. Drumwell.

[upontheshelfreviews]

I expected this movie to have a few votes from those who remembered it as kids. I never expected it to win by a landslide. Lesson learned: never underestimate a nostalgic kids’ movie from the ’90s.

Once upon a time, David Kirschner, producer of An American Tail among other things, took his daughters to the New York Public Library. This visit inspired him to write a story about a fantastical adventure that would get kids excited about reading. The result was The Pagemaster, a 1994 box-office bomb that would go on to develop a cult following among children like me who grew up watching it. Animation historians tend to lump The Pagemaster in with the likes of Thumbelina or Quest For Camelot: 90s features that tried to coast off the success of Disney’s Renaissance films yet failed to match their caliber. But actually, trailers for The Pagemaster played in theaters and on home video a good four years before the movie was released…it was still in production for most of that time so the amount of influence Disney had on it is up for debate, but the point remains. I’m willing to bet what played a major part in its delay was the myriad of problems that cropped up during the filmmaking, from David Kirschner suing the Writers Guild of America for not receiving the sole story credit he felt was owed, to the plot being rewritten in the middle of the animation process, which is never a good thing. I’ve also heard stories about Macaulay Culkin being a diva on set, but knowing what we know now about his abusive father explains a lot so I’m not holding that against him.

And here’s another fun fact I dug up while doing my research: apparently Stephen King of all people wrote the treatment for The Pagemaster, which certainly explains the film’s more horrific elements. Does this means this movie is technically part of the King multiverse? I can see Richard hanging out with The Losers Club on weekends and trying to avoid killer clowns and langoliers in his spare time.

Though it was released under the 20th Century Fox banner, The Pagemaster was the first of only two animated films created by Turner Feature Animation, an off-shoot of Hanna-Barbera founded by media mogul Ted Turner. In hindsight, it’s not surprising that Turner had a hand in this children’s flick with an educational message. Let’s not forget the last animated project he invested himself in was all about teaching kids environmentalism in the cheesiest way possible.

But unlike Captain Planet, does The Pagemaster hold up after all these years? Will it get kids sucked into the magic of reading? And how long can I go without forcing in a Home Alone reference? Read on and find out.

The opening credits fade in over clouds swirling into foreshadowing images while the stirring main theme by James Horner plays. Say what you want about this movie, Horner’s score emerges smelling like a rose, easily the best thing to come from this film. Disney’s even used it for some of their trailers. Also, when you take the bulk of the cast into consideration, it’s astonishingly appropriate that the man who scored The Wrath of Kahn provided the soundtrack for this feature.

The ominous call-forward clouds are part of a nightmare that our protagonist, a typical 90s nerd named Richard Tyler (Macaulay Culkin) startles awake from. He crawls out of bed and overhears his parents (Ed Begley Jr. and Mel Harris) discussing their son’s neuroses. See, it’s not enough that Richard is a nerd; he’s also afraid of everything that casts a shadow. His room is plastered with safety precautions, he studies all manner of deathly statistics to the point where he can recite them at the drop of a hat and is considered a general buzzkill by all who know him, especially his father. This is where we come to our first bump in the road, and it’s not just that Richard acts in a way that no kid would, not even scaredy-cat kids like Chuckie Finster: it’s the moral they’re trying to set up.

The Pagemaster’s original screenplay was about a boy who didn’t like reading and learned to love it, but there were many rewrites during production that altered it so it’s about Richard learning to overcome his fears through the power of books. That makes the point rather redundant – why teach someone who’s already a bookworm to love books? I argue that it’s about snapping Richard out of his obsession over statistics and panic-inducing facts that are holding him back from living a fulfilling life, and finding courage and meaning from beloved stories instead. Not a terrible lesson, but one that could have been communicated better. In fact, such a moral would be much more suited for today; with the constant stream of news updates through the internet leading to anxiety over everything, turning away from devices for a while and finding solace through well-written fiction is a decent message. And I’m not saying that kids today shouldn’t be aware of big issues our planet faces – look at Greta Thunberg – but if you’re suffering from borderline pantophobia, then maybe seeking some escapism through print (and also finding a therapist) is a good place to start.

Mr. Tyler is building his son a treehouse in order to help him get over his fear of heights. Richard, of course, refuses to have anything to do with it and states some statistics about ladders and household accidents. He then unwittingly hits his dad in the head with a bucket which causes him to have an accident and fall out of the treehouse, thus proving his point. Honestly, I’d have more respect for Richard if he did it on purpose just to validate himself. What a grade-A troll he’d make.

Eager to get his son out of his hair, Mr. Tyler tasks him with picking up some nails from the hardware store. Richard takes his bike, both covered in so much superfluous safety gear that he looks like he’s ready to go policing in a sci-fi dystopia.

“I am THE LAW!”

And yes, you read that credit correctly. Joe Johnston, director of The Rocketeer and the first Captain America movie directed the live-action segments of The Pagemaster. From what I’ve gathered, he’s not too pleased to have his name attached to this project. I suppose he’s upset that he couldn’t have his credit changed to Alan Smithee.

On his way into town, Richard passes some kids riding their bikes off a construction ramp. They try to goad him into joining them and call him chicken when he doesn’t, just in case you didn’t catch what his character arc will be. Richard continues forward, and if you think Maurice’s trip to the fair went south in Beauty and the Beast, then you haven’t watched this movie. Lightning strikes the power lines, he’s forced through a tunnel where the lights explode in succession after him, and he gets lost in a dark, creepy park during a storm. I’m almost tempted to say the movie is trying to kill him.

Richard crashes his bike in front of the most ominous library outside of a Ghostbusters movie and seeks shelter there. The only person inside is eccentric old librarian Mr. Dewey, played by Christopher Lloyd. He constantly interrupts Richard to guess what kind of book he thinks he’s looking for all while getting very dramatic and dangerously close to the young boy. I laugh at it because of how over-the-top Lloyd’s acting is, but uncomfortably so. As a kid, I thought he was being very wise and passionate about the stories he looks after, but as an adult, it’s hard not to look at this scene and call stranger danger on it.

Mr. Dewey directs Richard to a phone where he can call his parents, gives him a library card if he feels like checking a book out, and casually points out the big green exit sign should he decide to leave. Richard wanders through the library until he comes across an awesome-looking mural in the rotunda depicting scenes from Moby Dick, Treasure Island, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde…umm, Dragonslayer, I guess, and a wizard who bears more than a passing resemblance to Mr. Dewey.

This is why we need more funding in our public libraries, folks.

Richard slips on the wet floor and knocks himself out. When he comes to, paint from the mural gushes to the floor, turns into a dragon-like blob and chases him through the library, turning anything it touches turns into a painted background. The blending of computer and traditional animation for the dragon is surprisingly excellent. It’s plain to see that a lot of work went into this one creature. When I can’t tell where the hand-drawn animation begins or ends, that’s a good sign.

Ultimately the dragon catches Richard and transforms him into an animated character – no, not a character, an illustration, says someone from the shadows. That someone is the master of the animated literary realm Richard’s been transported to, keeper of the books and guardian of the written word, The Pagemaster (also voiced by Lloyd).

Do you think he trims his beard by cutting it or by stitching it up and binding it with leather and glue?

This animated version of the library is where all the stories ever written call home (though Horner’s score is what really sells the wonder of the moment). Here, books are, quite literally, transports to another world. Open a book and characters, creatures and objects from that story emerge from them. The Pagemaster demonstrates this by summoning a fairytale giant and the Argo from Jason and the Argonauts just for show. Richard’s more interested in finding his way home and the Pagemaster tells him that he must pass three tests in order to reach the Exit. He sends him off on his quest with a word of advice: when in doubt, look to the books.

Richard is swept up on a book cart and crashes into his first comic relief sidekick for the evening, Adventure, a cantankerous sentient book who acts like a pirate and is played by Sir Patrick Stewart. Stewart is one of the finest actors of the stage and screen and a damn good human being (seriously, look up his speeches about domestic violence) but I’ve noticed that when it comes to animated films, he tends to skew towards the…not so good ones. Not only did he turn down roles in Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin, but for every Prince of Egypt, there’s a Chicken Little, Gnomeo and Juliet, Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return and Emoji Movie that proudly boasts his name. It’s mind-boggling and frustrating to hear such talent reduced to voicing shit.

Not hyperbole.

The best thing I can say about Adventure is that at least Stewart sounds like he’s having fun playing him. I should know, getting paid to talk like a pirate is the best job ever.

Adventure changes his tune when he sees Richard’s library card and offers to help the boy if he checks him out from the library. He tells Richard to go up a ladder to get their bearings, but Richard refuses on account of his acrophobia and prattles off some of those annoying statistics. Adventure tries to change his mind about climbing by opening 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and unleashing the giant squid, which is like helping someone overcome their fear of flying by shooting them out of a cannon.

The squid throws Richard in the air but he’s rescued by another living book, Fantasy (Whoopi Goldberg). Fantasy subverts the warm fairy godmother stereotype she’s modeled after with her frequent bouts of sarcasm and stubbornness; whereas Stewart is playing a role, Whoopi is pretty much playing herself. Under normal circumstances, Fantasy would use her magic to poof Richard to the Exit, but since she’s outside of her section her powers are considerably weakened. Regardless, she also promises to help Richard if he takes her home with him. Fantasy and Adventure butt heads over who’s going to be second banana to our protagonist. Adventure insists he’s the only one who knows where they’re headed and gets Richard to open up The Hound of Baskervilles, with predictable results.

The Hound chases the trio until they jump through a bookcase into the horror section, full of spooky graveyards and assorted Halloween detritus. The Exit Sign appears through the fog but leads them to a massive and obviously haunted mansion that they must pass through in order to proceed. Richard rings the bell, which knocks the final member of the team, Horror (Frank Welker), into his arms. Horror’s my favorite of the bunch, at least he would be if I had to pick one. For one thing, with all the fairly big names in the cast, it’s refreshing to hear a veteran voice actor playing one of the lead roles. Horror’s the least like the genre he represents, a sweet dimwit who just wants some friends. I don’t know, maybe I just have a soft spot for lonely ugly-cute marshmallow characters.

Speaking of, the designs for the books aren’t exactly appealing with large faces plastered right on their spines and little arms and legs sticking out of their lumbering square bodies. Horror’s look, however, comes the closest to working since he’s modeled after Quasimodo and isn’t supposed to be Mr. Universe if you catch my drift. He even gets some moments of good wild animation, especially when he’s “describing” what frightens him.

But one line, one solitary bit of dialogue has always stuck with me: “Horror always has sad endings”. It’s a shockingly deep statement that sums up the tragedy of his situation, and also why I’ve never been that big on the genre. The monster’s dead, everyone’s safe, you think it’s all ok, then BOOM. It pops up again, slaughters every character you’ve grown to care for and sets up a neverending chain of watered-down sequels and reboots.

Fantasy assures Horror her world is a place of happy endings, and Richard allows him to come along for the ride. The group ventures into the mansion, which looks perfect as far as haunted houses go. It’s caught somewhere between traditional Gothic and German Expressionism with its impossibly high ceilings, winding staircases, cobwebbed cracks in the walls and looming shadows. The team then meets the mansion’s owner, Dr. Henry Jekyll, played by…Leonard Nimoy?!

Fascinating.

It goes without saying that Nimoy is magnetic as both Jekyll and his wicked counterpart. He encapsulates the madness and depravity of the latter with a cackle and a single line, and he plays the former with a warm air of wisdom and sophistication (the fact that he serves his Hyde potion in a martini glass should clue you in on that trait). It makes me wish we got to see Nimoy play Jekyll and Hyde in a more straightforward adaptation before he passed away.

Though maybe he already did…

Adventure is ready to help himself to some of Jekyll’s cocktail but Horror knocks it out of his hands and the spill burns a hole through the floor.

So the Hyde formula’s secret ingredient is xenomorph blood. Who knew?

Richard and the gang are too late to stop Jekyll from drinking his concoction and he undergoes a harrowing transformation into his evil alter-ego, Edward Hyde. And hoo boy, did this scene reopen a can of worms. Imagine you’re a five-year-old enjoying this fun little animated escapade of talking books and magic and then this gets all up in your face.

“My name…is…”

“…Mister HYYYYYYYDE!!!!!”

All this to say even after all these years, Mr. Hyde still kind of puts me on edge. I remember my dad taught me how to use the fast-forward button on the VCR just so I could rush through this part. I even wished for and made up a kind of video player where you could skip entire scenes for the sole purpose of avoiding Hyde’s reveal.

I’m still waiting on my royalties.

Hyde attacks the group but Horror accidentally saves them by dropping a chandelier on him.

Hey, wrong story!

Horror gets tangled up in the chains and is about to be pulled through the floor along with Hyde. Fantasy begs Richard to save him but he’s too scared to. He doesn’t even try to weasel out of it by saying he has bone spurs or some other lame excuse, he just stands there and shrugs as one of his friends is about to die. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. I know Richard’s supposed to learn courage over the course of the movie but not even attempting to try is pretty low. It’s not like there’s any danger in the situation or a possibility that Hyde will pop back up again; the freak’s too busy dragging Horror down, laughing maniacally in the dark as he anticipates pulling one helpless victim to their doom along with him.

Can’t sleep, Hyde will eat me…

Anyway, Fantasy has enough and rescues Horror herself. As for Hyde, he goes down the hole never to be seen again.

Now that I’m more familiar with the stories featured in this movie more so than when it was released, seeing them come and go rather quickly without diving into their essence is disappointing…but perhaps that was intentional. Maybe by leaving these sequences fairly open-ended and giving us the most basic of recaps, the movie is encouraging kids to check out the books themselves and come to their own conclusions about how and why these are timeless, fascinating tales.

Or at the very least, they could pick up an illustrated abridged version. Try getting a six-year-old to sit through the complete Moby Dick.

You’re a prodigy, Matilda! You don’t count!

After fleeing Hyde, Richard and the gang run into some possessed books – in other words, they’re haunted by ghost stories.

They evade the spirited tomes and had things worked out differently, they would have immediately had a perilous encounter with another famous literary horror character, Frankenstein’s monster. Poor Frankie M. made it to the poster and a few promotional picture books but not the final film. It’s not clear why he was cut; maybe the director felt the sequence was running long or he got worried the kids watching this would be too scared by this point. Frankly, anything that comes after Hyde pales in comparison. You could throw the worst of Lovecraft our way and it still wouldn’t be half as terrifying as he was.

The team makes it outside, but are trapped on a high vine-covered wall. Richard is too scared to climb down until the Pagemaster possesses a gargoyle to give some on-the-nose words of encouragement.

Careful, Richard. The last time I saw a gargoyle like that, it didn’t end well for the person grabbing it.

Richard Tarzans his ways to safety, and everyone celebrates their escape. The sun rises, clearing the way to the ever-elusive Exit Sign and Adventure’s home turf, a beach stretching into the open sea. Out on the ocean, they come across the crew of the Pequod. They’re searching for the white whale Moby Dick at the behest of Captain Ahab, voiced by George Hearn.

Hmm, George Hearn playing an overly dramatic psychopath hellbent on bloody vengeance? Can’t imagine where they got that casting idea from.

Ahab spies his quarry off the port bow and the color scheme dramatically shifts into a fiery red while the mad captain’s eyes glow and he turns into a Frank Miller drawing.

Lift your spearhead high, Ahab! Hear its singing edge!

I don’t know why they went with this abrupt change in hue, but frankly my dear I don’t give a damn. It’s a visual representation of Ahab’s unhinged thirst for violence teetering on demonic possession that just looks really cool. Also, like Nimoy before him, Hearn makes the most of his screen time, giving a stirring rendition of some of Ahab’s immortal lines.

…Then Moby Dick pounces on top of him and kills him and his crew instantly.

But Moby’s not done dicking around yet and he smashes Richard’s boat too. Richard and Adventure latch on to some driftwood, but it looks like Fantasy and Horror didn’t make it and there are sharks closing in.

The good news: they’re quickly rescued.

The bad news: they’re taken prisoner aboard the Hispaniola which is under the command of Long John Silver (Jim Cummings) and his crew of cutthroat pirates.

Well, calling them cutthroat is generous. The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything are more threatening than these guys.

With catlike tread, upon our foe we steal!

Also, one of the pirates is voiced by Robert Picardo and…do you think David Kirschner just wanted to make one big Star Trek crossover movie but the execs shot it down so he turned it into this cute family flick starring cast members from almost every iteration of the franchise? Like, Picard and Guinan are banished to another dimension inspired by various Holodeck fantasies thanks to a resurrected omniscient Commander Kurge (just another one of Q’s little tests for humanity) and are tasked with protecting a young boy, the son of Henry Starling, who’s the key to defeating him as they find their way back home. They wind up in a desolate corner of the universe where they meet Spock, who’s been working on a top-secret formula that will supposedly make human urges easier to differentiate in important decision-making. But plot twist! It’s really Evil Spock the whole time, and his formula will purge all good from those who consume it! They escape, desperate to warn this dimension’s Federation of Evil Spock’s plan but run into an insane Dr. Berel and are later captured by The Doctor, who has rebelled from his programming and taken up piracy along with a renegade band of Romulans. I’m no Star Trek aficionado, but this is something I’d like to see!

Silver takes away Richard’s library card and forces him and Adventure to join his treasure hunt on (where else?) Treasure Island. But like in the story this is based on, the pirates are enraged to learn that the treasure has already been looted and they mutiny against Silver. Before things get ugly, Fantasy and Horror arrive to save their friends. It turns out they didn’t drown after all due to Horror discovering his hump is hollow and they floated to shore on it.

Then there’s a fight scene where Horror and Fantasy take out the pirates using goofy slapstick. It isn’t too bad, but it doesn’t touch Muppet Treasure Island in comedy. Richard also stands up to Silver and gets him to back off, which earns the old sea dog’s respect. This makes this sequence the most faithful of all the quick adaptations we’ve seen thus far, essentially turning Richard into a stand-in for Jim Hawkins and having him go through an abridged version of his arc. It would have resonated more, however, if we spent more time with the plot and characters of this story, so we’d really feel something when Richard asserts himself. The Pagemaster is a scant seventy-five minutes, but with all the possibilities for expanding upon these different novels in this format with the kind of story they’re trying to tell, this could be a ninety-minute film at the very least. The movie even teases this with some cleverly woven-in shoutouts to other famous works, like Edgar Allen Poe’s Raven appearing in the haunted house, or Richard staggering under an oversized copy of Atlas Shrugged. I wish we could see those tales as part of the plot proper, but they make this literature-based world feel more all-encompassing and less like they’re merely covering the basics, for which I’m grateful for.

Adventure, who got sidelined at the start of the fight and is miffed about missing the action, storms off on his own. This is where the movie sidelines the main plot for a substandard “jerk with a heart of gold learns not to be a jerk to others” subplot. Horror tries to cheer up Adventure and admits he idolizes him, but Adventure bullies and scares him away. Shortly after, Adventure finds Richard’s library card washed up on the beach and returns it, but Fantasy forces him to look for Horror and apologize before they hit the road. He finds him being tied down by the Lilliputians from Gulliver’s Travels. Now Gulliver’s Travels could technically be classified as an adventure story, but really it’s a witty satire in the guise of an adventure. I wonder what we could have gotten if the movie explored other stories that mashed up the genres featured here with ones like mystery or sci-fi or drama. I want to see how Sherlock Holmes, Tom Sawyer, Captain Nemo, and Lizzie Bennett would react to this kid from the future and his three sentient books running around their stories! Or what about ones where the elements of fantasy, horror, and adventure overlap each other? Think about it, A Christmas Carol is both horror and fantasy, The Princess Bride is fantasy and adventure, The Call of Cthulu, A Wrinkle in Time and anything by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett combine all three. I’m sorry I keep going off on these tangents, but the concepts this film presents deserve more exploration than what we’re given.

Adventure rescues Horror and the two reconcile. Fantasy’s wand lights up, indicating that they’re getting closer to her territory and the Exit. Just to be sure she’s got her magic back, she tests it out by turning Adventure into –

Your very confusing nightmares for the next month, ladies and gentlemen.

Everyone traipses through the jungle into the fantasy section, which goes a bit beyond your average picture book in terms of design. Though the movie’s backgrounds and colors are a bit murky, each world has a distinct visual style. The fantasy realm is like if Arthur Rackham tangoed with Eyvind Earle. It’s not Sleeping Beauty levels of gorgeousness, though it’s close.  But once again, the magic of this scene comes from the music. Instead of more instrumental backing, however, we get the movie’s main tune, “Whatever You Imagine”.

I unironically love this song. I’ve said before I’m a sucker for 90s pop ballads and this one is no exception. It’s all about using the power of imagination to follow your dreams and shape the world into a better place, and is complemented by the visuals: some fairies that are rotoscoped in a way that they look like living embodiments of the electricity balls you find at Spencer’s appear and dance on Richard’s palm. There’s a second decent pop song in a similar vein over the end credits, “Dream Away” sung by Lisa Stanfield and Babyface, but “Whatever You Imagine” is my favorite of the two.

Yet, nice as this part is, it’s difficult to overlook the shortcomings. You thought the horror and adventure parts of the movie were rushed? What little we see of the fantasy section is limited to a minute and a half of the song before hurtling into the climax. On top of that, the only representations of fantasy here apart from the fairies are nursery rhymes (with Mother Goose and Humpty Dumpty making five-second cameos), generic familiar fairy tales (most of which, including Rapunzel and Cinderella, also joined Frankenstein’s Monster on the cutting room floor), a faun that looks like it was kidnapped from Fantasia, and a yellow brick road as a shout-out to The Wizard of Oz. I get this was a few years before Harry Potter revolutionized the genre, but no love for Lord of the Rings? No Peter Pan? No Narnia? No Earthsea? No Discworld? Not even Dr. Seuss? And if it’s because they’re sticking with public domain works then they really dropped the ball. I’ve got five words for you: King Arthur, Lord Dunsany, ETA Hoffman, George MacDonald, and any culture’s ancient mythology.

Then again, perhaps it’s for the best that the more recognizable fantasies stay out of this feature. Look at our heroes and tell me they’d survive a minute in A Song of Ice and Fire.

Richard spies the Exit on top of a mountain, but Adventure wanders into a “cave” and accidentally awakens the final boss: a monstrous fire-breathing dragon.

“Now you shall deal with me, O Prints, and all the powers of Hell!”

Fantasy summons a magic carpet ripped from her own pages to save Richard and fly them all to the Exit. But the carpet gets singed and crashes on the mountainside, scattering our heroes and causing Fantasy to lose her wand. Richard makes it to the summit but he realizes that in his haste he’s left his book club behind. Adventure decides to face the dragon alone to give Horror and Fantasy time to escape, and this is where we get the culmination of what’s supposed to be Adventure and Fantasy’s belligerent romantic tension throughout the movie and the one truly funny line of dialogue.

Unsurprisingly, the dragon roasts Adventure but he just gets covered in ash and acts like he got bopped on the head instead of burning up like a real book would. This is the fantasy section and a kid’s cartoon on top of that, I’m not gonna argue about the logic. Richard finally finds the courage to go save his friends, but first, he takes a sword, shield, and helmet from the crumbling skeleton of a dead knight.

For his sake, he’d better wash his hands fifty times after this.

Wait, that red cross on the shield….oh my god, it’s the dragon and knight from The Faerie Queen!!

All right, let me explain what this means and why it’s a big deal. The Faerie Queen is one of the most revered examples of classic fantasy literature, a collection of six epic poems detailing the adventures of King Arthur expy Prince Arthur aiding knights representing the Twelve Private Virtues on his journey to rescue and marry the titular fairy queen Gloriana. The story of the Red Cross Knight is about Arthur helping said knight fight a dragon to save his lady love. More importantly, it’s about the knight learning to overcome his insecurities while being waylaid by outside forces symbolizing negative influences and slay the monster himself. It’s not hard to see the surface parallels in his adventure and Richard’s. So, point to the movie for subtly including a well-known tale and weaving it into the main plot. I take back what I said about it overlooking the obvious public domain fantasies.

Richard charges in ready to kick some reptilian butt. Unfortunately, he manages to do an even worse job confronting the dragon than Jon Snow and it eats him in one bite. But our hero merely gets the Jonas treatment and winds up trapped inside the dragon’s stomach, which conveniently holds a number of undigested fantasy books. I guess the dragon must be a voracious reader.

Recalling The Pagemaster’s advice, Richard searches through the books to find something that can help him escape. In a bit of on-the-fly ingenuity, he unleashes the titular plant from Jack and the Beanstalk. He rides the plant up and out of the dragon’s throat, grabs his buddies and carries them to the mountaintop where the gates of the Exit are now open. Once inside, they find a very familiar face.

“I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SOUNDTRACK! PAY NO ATTENTION THAT COMPOSER BEHIND THE CURTAIN!”

No, of course not. Instead, the Pagemaster appears to greet them. It turns out he’s been guiding Richard through his perils the whole time. Richard is not unreasonably pissed that the seemingly wise and benevolent sage took the Glinda approach of leading him into danger just to teach him a lesson. The small tirade he goes on is honestly refreshing. You don’t see many heroes call out the mentor figure on their trickery.

But all implications aside, the Pagemaster brings up an important point: what would have changed for Richard if he was whisked home just like that? Without the chance to grow, he would have stayed the same cowardly, friendless boy. To back this up, the villains Richard faced appear in the cyclone and proudly remind him of his triumphs. He made the right choices in the face of evil. He looked danger in the eye and kept moving forward. He stood up to others without hesitating. Even the dragon returns to salute Richard in its own way. There’s something rather awe-inspiring about these great literary characters returning to congratulate him for facing their challenges. It might not seem like much at face value: what practical use would there be in overcoming fears of things you’d never come across in the real world like pirates or dragons?

The thing is, most literary characters aren’t just there to move the plot from Point A to Point B, but are also a conduit for symbolizing qualities both evil and benign that enhance their stories. In The Pagemaster, as well as in their own tales, Jekyll and Hyde, Ahab, and Silver represent varying levels of obsession and fear. The dragon is especially notable for the latter in this regard since it is the culmination of Richard’s fears and how he views the world as a terrifying, dangerous place beyond his control. It’s the last thing that appears in the opening credits before he wakes up from his nightmare, and is also the form the paint blob takes when chasing him. The dragon was even supposed to appear continuously throughout the film, following Richard and his friends causing trouble for them. That aspect was cut from the final feature, though it left some conspicuous plot holes, namely how Adventure apparently lost his sword somewhere offscreen then finds it in the dragon’s mouth before he wakes it. The most important thing to take away from this, however, is that Richard doesn’t slay the dragon but instead finds a way to overcome it by moving past it, showing how he’s accepted there are things he can’t always control or avoid and chooses instead to move past his fears. If I may borrow some words Neil Gaiman often attributed to G.K. Chesterton, we don’t read fairytales to learn that dragons exist, but to learn that dragons can be beaten.

Richard, having realized how much he’s grown from his adventures, is finally ready to return to the real world. The Pagemaster sends him back along with the books, who turn into ordinary volumes. Richard wakes up on the library floor with Mr. Dewey standing over him in a totally-not-awkward-at-all manner. He remembers his promise to check out the books, but Mr. Dewey takes back Horror and tells him he can only take two home.

Wait, two books?! Only two?? The last time I went to my local library, they let me check out ten! I’m sure the rules are different depending on each district, but I’d say any self-respecting library that would want to maintain a child’s interest in reading would let them borrow a minimum of three books at a time. This seems like a strange last-minute obstacle that serves no real purpose other than making Mr. Dewey look inexplicably pedantic.

Anyway, Mr. Dewey can tell Richard’s upset that he can’t keep his promise to Horror and allows him to take all the books with him just this once. Richard passes by the ramp from the start of the film and makes the jump on his own, proving that he really has changed. It would have been more cathartic if the bullies from before were there to see it, but I suppose the writers felt this had to be something Richard would do more for himself than for anyone else. And I like how once he sticks that landing and does a positive spin on his dour catchphrase, the street lamps knocked out from the storm all light up again, showing all’s right with the world. Later, Richard’s parents come home after searching for their son all night and find him asleep in the treehouse, no longer afraid of anything.

Well, he’s still scared of Old Man Marley, but he’s taking it one step at a time.

Mr. and Mrs. Tyler let him stay up there, and once they’re gone, Horror, Adventure and Fantasy come to life once again as animated shadows on the wall and revel in their happy ending.

And that was The Pagemaster. As a young kid, I adored it. Nowadays it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. It’s technically not a good movie, but it’s brimming with creative ideas, a few moments of cleverness, some nice visuals, has a good voice cast, an excellent score, and it evokes plenty of nostalgia. I just can’t bring myself to hate it. I also saw a lot of my younger self in Richard, a lit nerd prone to anxiety who found comfort and friendship in the books we traversed through and fantasized about having similar adventures. That, I think, is what really drew me into The Pagemaster back in the day. Plus, as far as an animated children’s film about a geeky kid going into classic tales with a talking book goes, it could have been much, much worse.

No. Just…no.

In case you’re still wondering if I thought this film succeeded in its message, well, it did make me want to read more, but I already loved reading when I was a child so that might render the point moot. I admire the idea of not laying out everything that happens in each story so as to get kids invested, but that being said the segments could use some beefing up to maintain interest and flesh out the characters more. Frankly, I think the whole concept of The Pagemaster would work much better as an animated series than as a movie. Maybe that was what Turner Animation was going for; if the film was more successful, they could create a spinoff show where the characters explore a new story each week that ties into some kind problem Richard is facing. Think Reading Rainbow meets Tales From the Book of Virtue. Now that Disney technically owns this movie, I’d love to see them develop something like this. Their track record with animated television has been stellar since Gravity Falls. Put this project in the right hands and they’d have another hit.

You know what? Call me out on it all you want, but The Pagemaster gets a three out of five. Watch it if you’re curious or just feeling nostalgic, and be sure to pick up a good book afterward.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patreon supporters receive great perks such as extra votes for movie reviews, requests, early sneak-peeks and more. Special thanks to Amelia Jones, Gordhan Rajani and Sam Minden for their contributions, especially at this time.

Considering the theme of this review and the timing of its release, I’d like to leave you with a bit of a positive endorsement: If you’re like me and you’re looking for something to do while in quarantine, especially since all the libraries are closed where I am, I recommend Project Gutenberg and LibriVox. Both offer ways to enjoy beloved pieces of great literature that are largely in the public domain and discover fascinating obscure ones too, and it is completely free. No accounts to sign up for, no monthly payments, just years of classic books online only a click away. I listen to many of them while working or if I need to relax. I hope it’ll help take your mind off of any fears or stress, and I’ll see you tomorrow when movie voting recommences.

Screengrabs courtesy of animationscreencaps.com

April Review: The Pagemaster (1994) I expected this movie to have a few votes from those who remembered it as kids. I never expected it to win by a landslide.