#humor-walking

[thepersonalwords]

I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on

Josh Stern, And That's Why I'm Single: What Good Is Having A Lucky Horseshoe Up Your Butt When The Horse Is Still Attached?

[shmoozy-jpg]

if jews really could control the weather don't you think it'd be a little nicer out??? smh man

signed, a jew

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Y/N, giggling: You sneeze like a girl.

Daryl: How ‘bout I pound ya like a boy?

Daryl: …

Daryl: That didn’t come out right.

Y/N: I know what you meant. Your place or mine?

Daryl: Yours.

[ghost-bxrd]

Just rewatched the scene in Gotham Knights where Dick tries to have a heart-to-heart with Jason on a rooftop and Jason, true to character, shoves him lightly because he doesn’t do emotions, thank you.

And Dick, the dramatic queen, pretends to fall off the roof.

Honestly honey, you out of everyone should know not to scare people with that 😭😂

[nessa007]

#i notice a silly parallel #i must make a gifset The Walking Dead | 3x01 Abbott Elementary | 3x11

[animezinglife]

It's probably a sign of my age and where I am in life, but if I got shoved into a magical cauldron and became an entirely different species and some fire-hot redhead draped his jacket over me and said, "You're my mate," I wouldn't even question it.

Sure, buddy. Why not.

[cat-cosplay]

My Cat this Thanksgiving

[dianeandrews]

High Heels On My .... 🤔😂

[audible301]

Sam Reich knows what he’s doing because every time I rewatch the finale teaser to try to look for clues I get immediately distracted by how hot everyone looks in it.

Sam you smart son of a bitch I know you did that on purpose.

[bottle-of-harpoons]

Emmet’s emotional support dog

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

I woke up a few mornings ago and decided it was time to find out what George Karizaki was about.

[book-lover85]

Stay at home dad and artist on commission Keefe

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Man over the radio: I have one of your friends.

Y/N: Which one?

Man over radio: The annoyingly quiet, growling one.

Y/N: Oh. You have my boyfriend. He’ll be okay.

Man over radio: Now, let’s talk trade.

Y/N: Why? He’s gonna be loose and stab you in three, two—

-Radio silence-

Daryl over radio: Could’a at least pretended to be worried.

Y/N: See you at home.

[madame-helen]

[slutforpringles]

I'm going to start on an unusually positive note by giving five points to Sergio Perez. He had a pretty ordinary race, very rare for him to get points. I'm not even sure if he's on the board at the moment, but I'm giving him five points for capitalizing on Red Bull Racing's struggles to try and save his own skin. Now he finished more than 16 seconds and two places behind Verstappen to which he reviewed, "I wish the gap had been a lot bigger and that Max was winning, because at the end that will only help the team in the Constructors' Championship." I like that he's owning the fact that he's contributing virtually nothing. But telling people that he's no longer the team's biggest problem, emphasizing that he's not the problem anymore = that level of rat-cunning deserves some points, and it's five from me.

F1 journalist Michael Lamonato calling out the complete hilarity and hypocrisy of Sergio Perez's post-race comments, as he awards him five points in the humorous alternative championship segment on the Italian GP review episode of Pit Talk podcast