#humorous-quotes

[thepersonalwords]

It's funny how often we celebrate by poisoning ourselves

Johnny Moscato

[quotelr]

Why did men have to ruin everything? The answer was simple, she supposed—because foolish women gave them the chance

Tessa Dare, Any Duchess Will Do

[catchymemes]

[daily-spooky]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

[a--z--u--l]

Tumblr es una mezcla entre un psiquiátrico, un prostíbulo y un diario. A cuál pertenecen?

[thepersonalwords]

A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.

Matshona Dhliwayo

[quotelr]

This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track.

Erin Mitchell

[catchymemes]

[daily-spooky]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

The inspiration

The result

[n-u-b-e-s-n-e-g-r-a-s]

[galaxymagitech]

Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

[daily--cats]