#human halbrand

[verecunda]

Since I've got Human Halbrand AUs bouncing around my head (who knows if they'll ever come to anything, though), I'm curious to know: what sort of Human Halbrand do other folks like? Halbrand who is indeed the lost King of the Southlands, or Halbrand who is just a Regular Middle-earth Dude?

I know back during series 1, my favourite theory when I was choosing not to see all those screaming scarlet flags was what I call the Road to El Dorado plot: a ne'er-do-well who is mistaken for something rather more noble than what he is, who initially goes along with the con for his own advantage, but then ends up truly growing into the role.

[queenmeriadoc]

I love the Human!Halbrand AU,

Just Celebrimbor with his human boyfriend!

And the twink that tries to come between them.

[saurongorthaur9]

From the ROP fandom, I see frequent comments about how people were in denial about Halbrand being Sauron. I'm curious why.

So...

[dialnoisenow]

Listen, knowing what we know now, I would watch a bunch of one shot episodes of human halbrand doing stupid human things.

Everyone else can go about their plot driving business.

Counter that, just Galadriel foiling all of his plans over and over again and they get more ridiculous as time goes on.

[helenvader]

Time for a fic rec!

This one-shot by @ichabodjane written after episode 6 aired, and is hidden on page 35 in the Haladriel tag. It has human!Halbrand, and I think it's definitely worth reading. It's one of my favourites. ❤

[ichabodjane]

I was tagged by @somebirdortheother for 7 Lines from a WIP and I'm sharing a little preview of our WIP, hopefully dropping tomorrow for the finale of Haladriel Week!

“The reports also indicate they met someone just before their change in direction. That person now leads them. A tall man with red hair.” Celeborn was pleased to see that his reflexes were recovered enough to catch Galadriel’s chair as it tipped backwards from the force of her leaving it.  “They’re only preliminary reports,” Elrond said as she flung open a trunk. “I don’t think it’s enough for-” “You do,” she shot over her shoulder, “Or you wouldn’t have told me.”

I'm tagging @longsightmyth @wizardheart83 and anyone else who would like to share!

[hazelmaines]

This will be the next one I update with chapter 3/3 almost done! 🙌🔥

Closer (explicit, WIP, 7087 words)

"Bronwyn has only been with men. Two men, specifically - her first husband, who ran off when Theo was small, and Arondir. Perhaps, she reasons, this is why it is Galadriel's voice she keeps hearing, her face she keeps picturing, in ways she should not. In her lap, kissing her, hands on her breasts - Because it is something new and different. Not that she would kick the king out of bed, either, she catches herself thinking too late, and then she has to go and get a pitcher of water and splash some on her face before returning to the garden."

Keep reading

[fawningbruises]

His voice is a sigh, broken a thousand times over in his throat.

[verecunda]

Honestly, Human Halbrand has the potential for such high hilarity, whatever your shipping preference. Galadriel was almost certainly there in Menegroth during the whole Beren and Lúthien episode, and Celebrimbor was living in Nargothrond at the time, so they must at least have got a good look at Beren in all his grubby, scabby glory, so they were probably like "o-kay... love and light to Lúthien, but what the hell has she been smoking??"

Then, a thousand-odd years later, they meet Halbrand, the human equivalent of a wet, mangy feral cat, and they're like "oooooohhhh I get it now." 🥺

[fatcatlittlebox]

And on that day, Galadriel launched Middle Earth’s best collab with just a lanyard and a dream. (X)

[ichabodjane]

@somebirdortheother and I agree.

Listen, one will corrupt, two will divide but three? For the good of the world, Celeborn MUST complete the throuple. Next season will be Sauron falling for him too.

[everlusts]

i love dead dove saurondriel so much it consumes me all the time where are my fellow enjoyers like we gotta rally against those annoying purists that can’t seem to fathom enjoying dark aspects of a fictional pairing!!

[helenvader]

This was very much necessary. :))))

Now we have a complete collection for his (so far) four personalities. :)

And some bonus stuff.

[ichabodjane]

Tell me more about Galabornbrand for I very much desire to meet them (again). What are they up to on a fine Sunday afternoon?

Oooo, what are they doing?

Galadriel has to do something productive at least for a little while, I'm sure. Reading reports or training new scouts or jogging or whatever productive people do. And perhaps Halbrand would wander off into the forge after eating half his weight in brunch food.

But Celeborn insists on some chill time on the porch with whatever the elven equivalent of hard sweet tea is. And once he's got them there, well....things can naturally progress from there 😏.

Halbrand's probably tired after that so it's a lazy dinner and maybe hanging out with Elrond and Brimby for a bit, maybe some laying out looking at the stars, rolling into bed eventually.

I am, of course, happy to hear others' ideas! So many possibilities on a nice Sunday afternoon...

[ichabodjane]

Halbrand isn't Sauron in either of these but this and this might be close enough.

// Outing myself as a filthy Galdriel/Celeborn/Halbrand/Sauron shipper. It's the threesome I want and the threesome I need. Gimme the OT3. (jk i know it's obviously never gonna happen but let me dream for a minute)

[lassieposting]

Anyway on the subject of the Ainur being Higher Forms Of Life, things I think would be hilarious: Morgoth/Sauron lowkey finding it difficult to tell the elves of the First Age apart.

Like. Human beings can tell lesser primates apart very easily...by species. Gorillas are massive. Orangutans are orange. Mandrills are brightly coloured, and tamarins are tiny and cute. But if you ask a human to tell apart the different individuals of a gorilla troupe - unless that human has spent a lot of time observing/interacting with/studying the gorillas - they're gonna struggle. Because to the average human, gorillas all look the same.

Perhaps that is also true of the Valar and the Maiar. Little babby Mairon knows the races of Arda as well as any of his kind: elves are tall and fair, dwarves are short and hairy, men are a scruffy bunch who multiply faster than rabbits, and ents are trees who talk. Easy-peasy.

But like. While the Ainur who live in Valinor shelter and protect - and therefore, spend a lot of time with - the first elves, and come to know how to tell them apart as their own kind do, Mairon spends that period of his life metaphorically sneaking off to smoke and set fire to things with Melkor, so he doesn't get that extended contact. Most of his interactions with the early elves take place either from a distance - as in, he's directing Morgoth's troops and keeping track of intelligence on the opposing army - or on the battlefield, where a) he's wearing a helmet and b) so, if they have any sense, is his enemy.

So like. He still thinks they all look alike. One tall, blond, fine-featured elf is much the same as another, honestly, and their fëar don't look that different to him either.

(If Galadriel were to show "Halbrand" a memory of her childhood, of herself with her three golden brothers, Sauron would not be able to immediately pick out which was Finrod, despite having come face to face with Finrod before. Nor, most likely, would he be able to tell Aegnor and Aegrond apart.

Galadriel herself, on the other hand, he'd be able to pick out instantly, even though elflings all look the same to him. Because he's spent long enough with her that he knows her mannerisms, obviously. It's got nothing to do with being able to identify her fëa among a crowd of other fëar. Sentimental? He's not being sentimental. You're sentimental. Shut up.)

Bonus thought: When it comes to men, though, the board probably flips. Men are not taken to Valinor when they awaken, they are not sheltered by the Valar, they do not go there after death. Sauron has had more close contact with men than any other Ainu save the Istari - he rules them, treats with them, leads them in battle, learns to whisper in the ears of their kings and play them like music. His human disguise is virtually faultless; he can feign humanity so convincingly that he doesn't trigger the uncanny valley effect at all until he knows he's been caught out, and we see him drop the act.

But most of his fellow Ainur have rarely (if ever) directly interacted with the race of men. So I think it would be deeply funny if, when Elrond and Galadriel show up to Valinor with two hobbits in tow, the Ainur react like...well, like that one tumblr post of well-meaning angels unintentionally getting Real Fucking Weird about trying to set the humans they appear to at ease. Or their idea of mannish customs has been influenced by the stories told by dead or returned elves who met a weird man once, and so they're expecting and trying to accommodate some really odd behaviour that has the Hobbits like, what? No? Why would we do that?