#human!Patton

[stormclouds-makeraine]

hi tumblr <3

[confusedasever]

Omg it’s Patton being cute and Roman being an insecure gay mess what else is new lmao made this a bit ago but never posted it. I like have a giant stockpile of Sander sides doodles as stuff I found on Pinterest at 3am

Op: Rotten Heart (idk if that’s the og user)

[justdlightful]

Very first post, and of course it had to be Sanders Sides. Patton, Roman, and Logan all found a spider, and have varying reactions. The spider may or may not have been Virgil’s.

[ltlemonpop]

Add this to the list of comics I should make but probably won’t. Only context is this is a married!logicality human au

Patton : Logan!!! Come meet our two new children!!! :D

Logan : *long suffering sigh* Patton you are well aware of our appartments no pet policy-

Logan : OH FUCK THOSE ARE ACTUAL CHILDREN

Patton : [holding baby Roman and baby Virgil]

Patton : I’m not returning them

Logan : WHERE DID YOU GET THEM???

Patton : we are going to make great parents Logan I just know it

Logan : WHERE DID YOU FIND TWO CHILDREN??? WHOS ARE THOSE??

Patton : Logan I know you are going to be a great dad

Logan : I DONT WANT TO BE A DAD?????

Patton :

Patton : Logan I know you are going to be a great mom

Logan : THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT

[ascenari0]

proud of how far I’ve gotten in my art, so I drew the whole gang from my SaSI human au

[delimeful]

you can't go back (10)

warnings: depression mention, death mention, animal violence mention, angst, lmk if i missed any

-

Roman had been poking and prodding the alien in his barn for answers for the better part of a month, to no avail. 

No matter what combination of words, actions, or prop-laden charades he and Logan had attempted, they’d come no closer to anything resembling communication than they had when Roman had been angrily threatening the alien with a broom. He’d been growing more hopeless— and admittedly, more guilty— by the day. 

And then, entirely unintentionally, along came Patton. 

Less than an hour after their accidental introduction, Patton had somehow managed to not only convince the alien to speak to him, but also earn their apparent undying loyalty. 

Roman kind of got it, because, well, it was Patton, but he was still feeling incredibly miffed about how the entire situation had played out. He couldn’t even say as much, because then Patton would start making pointed statements about not hiding things from one’s friends and how nice it would have been for him to have met their excitable extraterrestrial earlier. 

Going by the way the alien kept hovering over Patton like a brooding hen, Roman figured their captive-turned-guest(?) probably felt the same way. Not that he could really blame them.

Despite Patton’s gentle prompting and Logan’s intense staring, the alien refused to utter so much as a recognizable syllable in front of them, sticking firmly to bobbing a clawed hand up-and-down or side-to-side for ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers, respectively. 

That alone was enough to confirm that Patton was right: the alien absolutely could understand human speech, though not as comprehensively as Star Wars would have had him believe. Even with this new willingness to interact, around half of their questions were still answered with a hesitant motion of bumping the sides of their forearms together and then drawing them back apart, which seemed to be the alien’s version of a shrug. 

This wasn’t the only new gesture they were introduced to over the course of the next few days. From subtle shifts of their faceplates to the absent air-pedaling their stabby limbs did while they were thinking, they were now witness to a whole gallery of unfamiliar mannerisms. The thick spiral-ring notebook Logan had dedicated to documenting the alien’s body language had rapidly begun to run out of blank pages, with the frantic scribbling becoming such a well-worn background noise that even the alien stopped being wary after a while. 

As it turned out, the alien was a lot more expressive when all six of their limbs weren’t forcibly restrained. This was one of those things that seemed a lot more obvious in hindsight. 

Given that four of those limbs had both the sharpness of a spear and the spring-loaded power of a harpoon gun, Roman still felt a fair amount of uncertainty about just how much trust they were placing in a relative stranger, but he kept those thoughts to himself.

After all, this was a welcome change from the quiet, still way the alien had been curled up on their makeshift bed for the past week, not nearly as aggressive as before but also not nearly as alert or even responsive, some days. Roman had been getting more and more worried, half-expecting to find a corpse every time he went to check on them, like a bug left in a jar to suffocate. 

Whatever magic Patton had worked, it had brought an undeniable spark of life back to the alien, and wary or not, Roman was unspeakably relieved about it. 

The past couple of days had been dedicated to finding supplies for the alien’s project, which they had figured out (mostly through extensive guessing) was a makeshift translator. One of Logan’s old laptops, the disemboweled guts of the alien’s helmet, and an old car battery from the junkyard had been sacrificed to the alien’s tinkering, along with various bits and bobs pulled from old charging cables and a broken VCR player. 

After the third unsuccessful game of charades, Roman had just grabbed the whole junk drawer in the kitchen and tipped all the contents out in the hopes that the alien would find what they needed. 

Seeing as there hadn’t been any more requests, they seemed to have found the pieces they needed— or at the very least, acceptable substitutes. From there, all that was left to do was loiter in the barn and wait for them to finish. 

“Guys,” Patton called, the only one allowed to sit nearby while the alien worked. “I think it’s ready!” 

The moment the words split the air, Logan practically teleported over to their corner of the barn, and Roman was only a step behind, his heart pounding a frantic rhythm in his chest at the thought of finally learning what had happened to his brother. 

The alien was crouched with their backwards-jointed legs folded under them, and as they all gathered around, the limbs on their back pulled in to avoid grazing any shoulders, as though even the barest touch would be poisonous. As always, they didn’t make direct eye contact with anyone, simply reaching out to the contraption and pressing one of the buttons on the VCR. 

They made a series of carefully enunciated clicks and churrs, the same muffled language that they had used during Roman’s pointless interrogations, and then released the button and pressed down another one. 

There was a brief moment of silence, and then: 

“Can you understand this sentence?” 

The voice was robotic, the inflections slightly strange, but the words were clear. 

“Yes!” Roman exclaimed, half an answer and half a cheer of success. “It worked, we understood that!” 

The three of them exchanged glances, sharing a sort of awed joy at the impossibility of it all. The alien waited for a moment longer before recording another stretch of clicks and sending it through the translator. 

“The energy cell won’t last long. Ask important questions first.” 

Like mirror images, both of his friends turned to look at him at the same time, and whatever expression he was making seemed to tell them everything they needed to know. 

“No matter what the answer is,” Patton told him, reaching out to hold onto his hand tightly, “we’ll figure it out together, okay?” 

Logan flipped his notebook over, abandoning the list of questions to set the tip of his pen to a blank page. “I’ll record the information verbatim. It’ll ensure we don’t miss anything.” 

Embarrassingly enough, Roman’s eyes began to sting. He cleared his throat, smiling weakly at his best friends. “Thanks, guys.” 

The question sat heavy on the back of his tongue, the shape of words practically memorized after the many times he’d spoken, shouted, screamed them. When he looked forward to the alien, though, he realized that there was something else he owed it to them to ask. 

“What’s your name?” 

The alien went rabbit-still for a moment, a reflexive attempt to hide that Roman was pretty sure meant they were surprised. He didn’t rush them; he was pretty surprised at himself, too. 

Finally, they leaned close to the speaker again. “I am known as Anxiety.” 

“Anxiety?” Patton echoed, his eyebrows lifting in bewilderment. 

The alien shuffled their hands over each other in an uncertain-looking gesture before speaking into the translator, a little quicker now. “Was that the wrong word? The direct translation is more like ‘he who fears needlessly’?” 

“Anxiety… is a good word for that, yes,” Logan answered after another uncertain pause. “It simply isn’t a word we would usually use as a name.” 

“Alien,” Anxiety replied succinctly, with another one of those forearm shrugs. 

Roman nodded, fitting the name carefully into the list of things they’d learned about this stranded stranger. “My name is Roman, and this is Logan and Patton.” 

Each of them waved on cue, one perfunctory and the other over-enthusiastic. Anxiety glanced between them for a moment before apparently giving in to his curiosity. 

“Who is first?” he asked through the translator, earning three confused looks. 

“I’m the oldest?” Roman offered, not in the least confident that this was the answer Anxiety was looking for. “But not by that much? We’re all in the same grade, um, which basically means we’re only a few months apart in age.” 

Anxiety didn’t lose the air of puzzlement, but he shook his hand in the ‘no’ gesture. “Nevermind. Ask your questions.” 

Roman swallowed, his nerves returning to him twofold, and forced the words past numb lips. “What… What happened to my brother?” 

Although Anxiety had almost certainly expected the question, his limbs still flexed behind him, trembling slightly with tension. Foreboding sunk into Roman like a stone through water. 

“Your brother was abducted,” Anxiety finally answered, the translator turning the words flat and stilted. “Stolen, but most likely alive.” 

Alive. Alive. Most likely alive. Roman’s chest felt like it might burst with how hard his heart was beating.

“Why? What are they going to do to him?” he asked, his voice rising louder in his desperation. Patton squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.

Anxiety’s hesitance stretched even longer. This time, after speaking into the translator, he shuffled backwards slightly. Preparing for a violent response to whatever he’d just said. 

“Deathworlders are valuable in some circles. That crew is money-hungry. They probably took him to use as a champion in illegal fighting rings. Dangerous, but not lethal if he can fight,” the translator spit out dutifully. 

Fighting rings. Roman thought about every movie scene he’d ever watched with gladiators, every news article about local dog fighting, every old story about men shoved into a pit of starving lions. Pictured Remus, dropped into some horrible real-life version of that scene from Star Wars, but without magic powers or even so much as a lightsaber to his name. 

He felt sick. His hand went limp in Patton’s grip, nausea churning in his gut. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. What could he possibly say to that? How was he supposed to ask about his own brother’s odds, his life expectancy on an alien battleground?

“What do you mean by ‘Deathworlder’?” Logan asked, his gaze sharp as he picked up the slack. 

Anxiety’s attention was clearly riveted on Roman’s response, but he managed to answer after several seconds passed without anyone lashing out, leaning forward again. 

“It’s a title. Sapient species that originate from deathworlds.” When this clearly wasn’t as helpful as he thought it would be, he elaborated further: “Planets with harsh terrain, hostile fauna, lethal weather patterns. A Deathworlder has adapted to thrive in these conditions. You make a home out of a place that is difficult for most aliens to even survive.” 

Patton frowned, confused. “You’re surviving just fine, aren’t you?” 

Anxiety’s faceplate twitched slightly, an expression they had no reference for. 

“I thought Patch would kill me for our entire first interaction.” For the first time, a sense of his voice was audible even through the machine-tone translator. “I pay attention to danger. This planet is full of things that could very easily kill me.” 

His extra limbs twitched slightly, as though he’d said more than he’d meant to, and he firmly averted his gaze to the ground. 

Abruptly, Roman realized that they were one of the things Anxiety was referring to. The primal panic that they’d witnessed while interacting with him wasn’t a farce or an exaggeration. To Anxiety, humans were a potentially lethal threat.

“Patch?” Patton asked.

The angles of Anxiety’s back limbs shifted to point at where Lady Macbeth was sprawled out in a beam of sunlight, content that all was well within her kingdom. 

“You renamed my cat?” Roman asked incredulously, and then, more pressingly, “If you thought she was going to kill you, why did you befriend her? You tried to stab me the moment we made eye contact!” 

Anxiety’s arms twitched in what seemed like a hastily-aborted shrug. “Predatory beasts normally kill to eat or to defend territory. Sapient species are capable of a lot worse. If I am going to die, I want it to be quick.” 

Something about the way the words were spoken, present tense and oddly direct, made Roman’s skin prickle unpleasantly. It was uncomfortably close to a request. 

(Sure, Anxiety understood their language, but had they ever said aloud that they wouldn’t kill him?)

“To aliens, humans are dangerous?” Logan asked, dragging them back on-topic. “How so? From my perspective, you have more natural weapons than we do.” 

Anxiety made a dragging chirp that seemed to serve as a wordless scoff. “Humans are impossible to kill. I bite you, and you hit me. My bite bothers you, but your hit shatters my exoskeleton. I bleed out and I die. Your body heals and you live.” 

Patton looked discomfited at the very idea.

“Aliens are delicate, compared to us,” Logan surmised. “Because the environments they evolved in weren’t as hostile as Earth.” 

Anxiety nodded a fist in confirmation. 

By the time Logan turned to him with a grim look, Roman had already put the same pieces together. 

“They wanted Remus because they were sure he would win,” he said, fists clenched at his sides. “Because he’s a Deathworlder, so he’s hard to kill.” 

Remus wasn’t being tossed to the lions. He was the lion, trapped and caged far from home. A monster only let loose to slaughter. 

Sure, maybe his brother wouldn’t die, but what kind of a life was that? Remus was sixteen. He was supposed to be trespassing in abandoned buildings with his shithead friends and creating bizarrely gory trash sculptures for his art portfolio, not fighting for his life in front of a crowd of alien scumbags. 

“How do we get him back?” he asked, lifting his jaw stubbornly.

Anxiety only watched him, making no move to speak into the translator. 

“Come on, there has to be a way,” he urged, shoving to his feet and staring down at the alien. “He can’t just be gone. I have to help him! You have to do something!” 

Patton stood too, frowning in a way that suggested he thought Roman needed to back off, take a few deep breaths. 

“Please!” Roman added instead, his voice cracking down the middle of the plea. “Please.” 

Anxiety shifted to press the record button again, but the laptop screen flickered and faded, nonresponsive. Their battery power had run out. 

With a displeased sound, Anxiety slowly rose back to his full height, immediately moving several steps away, and for a moment, Roman thought that was it, his begging had been rejected. It was hopeless, and there was nothing else to be said. 

Then, there was a strange crackling sound from Anxiety, who had turned to face away from them in an uncharacteristic move, his spidery limbs shifting tensely. 

“Give t—ime,” he spoke, the words nearly made unfamiliar by the odd pronunciation. “Thhhin—k.” 

“Think?” Roman echoed with uncertainty; the ‘th’ sound dragged so long it was almost a hiss. 

“You need time to think of a way?” Logan interpreted, clearly exercising all his willpower to remain where he was instead of circling around to see Anxiety’s face. 

“T—ry,” Anxiety emphasized. “Don—t. Hope.”

“Trying is all we can do,” Patton replied warmly, while Roman was still puzzling out the soft clicks Anxiety was using for the ‘T’ sound. “Thank you for trying to help us, Anxiety.” 

There was another odd noise, like the crinkling of paper, and Anxiety’s face was as concealed as ever when he turned and hurried back over to his makeshift bed, apparently done with speaking for the day. 

Feeling more than a little exhausted himself, Roman didn’t begrudge him it. All that mattered was that Remus was alive, and they would figure out a way to rescue him. Anxiety might have warned them not to hope anything came of his efforts, but long odds had never stopped Roman from hoping before. 

He wasn’t giving up on his brother. No matter what it took to bring him home. 

[5am-the-foxing-hour]

Fey Remus and Fey Roman: *in a competition to see who can chop up their pile of wood into firewood the fastest* Patton *gathering the thrown about firewood into baskets so Janus can carry them to the woodshed*: Oh! Virgil, where are you going? Vampire Virgil *dressed up in a black cape and more vampire aesthetic look, compared to his more relaxed everyday wear*: Coven meeting. Shouldn't take longer than a week... Ugh I hate when the whole family get together. Too many people. Werewolf Janus: Good luck. Vampire Virgil: Thanks. I'm glad it only happens once every century. Patton: I keep forgetting you're really old, Virgil. Vampire Virgil: I'm younger than those two idiots *gestures towards Remus and Roman who are now hurling insults at each other*. Werewolf Janus: ... how old are they exactly? Witch Logan *basket of mushrooms at his hip*: The two of them are about as old as this forest, so a millennia give or take, but who knows really. They never give me a good answer. I'm starting to suspect they don't know it themselves.

[canvas-the-florist]

The Imitation Game

Ship(s): Analogical

Warnings: Major Character Death and Undeath, body horror, blood and injury, unreliable narrator, misunderstandings, and morally ambiguous Emile Picani

Summary: This is a Big Bang fic hosted by @tss-storytime. After the consequences of someone else’s actions, Logan finds himself moving into a new apartment to lie low. Despite knowing nothing about what happened, or what’s supposed to happen next, Logan complies. That is, until he begins to make new friends and new discoveries about who he is. And who he was supposed to be. Meanwhile Virgil is convinced that Patton's new neighbor is absolutely a murderer. And will do anything to prove it. If you like this fic, I'm going to be posting the rest of the story on ao3. Here's the link.

Art was done by @tastic-in-its-finest and you can find it here!

Word Count: (for this chapter) 3k

Chapter One - Lungs

The first feeling, or experience rather, Logan has is unbridled anguish. He doesn’t remember much of it. His body gives him a sharp spike of electricity when he moves his neck, clearly as a result of what occurred. The shaking of their palms when they were made to look someone in the eyes. A fear he couldn’t place the origin of. Logan’s body felt wrong to exist in. It felt wrong to be there at all. His body feels as if it was dismantled and reattached slightly differently. Functional, but not the same. Logan had begun adjusting to the changes far quicker than his muscle memory could. It hurt to stand too long, a pain coming from his spine would trail its way to his legs, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Logan was reminded of this fact when one of their knees locked, and he forced himself to fall to the side so he could catch himself. His entire weight supported by one leg and his hands on the edges of the kitchen counter. Logan slowly led himself to sit on his couch, easing himself into a lying position. He took a slow, deep breath.

Breathing is a difficult sensation to get used to. It’s supposed to be constant, quiet, and easy. And yet it’s so integral to survival. Especially for a being with lungs. You have to breathe in oxygen, and out carbon dioxide. A consistent transfer of elements with your body holding the key to change. If you hold your breath, the carbon dioxide holds a heavy space in your lungs, poisoning the rest of your organs. If you breathe too quickly, risk tiring yourself out, and accomplishing nothing by speeding up the endless repetition. Both can lead to fainting or passing out. What a fickle way to live, to survive. 

So imagine Logan’s surprise that everyone around him could do this without thinking. This was normal. And he was not. Now was their chance to be just like the others, with working lungs, a working body, and a working heart. It wasn’t pleasant to feel constant changes within himself in a manner he couldn’t control. Nothing could truly be perfectly measured or predicted or controlled. Logan pressed his left thumb pad against his right index finger, cradling the right hand softly, and felt the small ridges of fingerprints conflict with their paths next to each other. This was one of the new sensations they didn’t mind. He did this while reminding himself to breathe, concerned that his judgment would lapse and he would simply die too early on in his existence. Logan thought about feeling, and if he had enough time to get used to the stimulus he didn’t used to have access to. A sudden flash of pain went past his neck, causing him to suddenly tilt his head to the left. He exhaled loudly, with a shudder, to keep his composure. Logan didn’t know a lot about social conventions but screaming every time he felt an ounce of discomfort definitely did not fit that criteria. However, he was new to the apartment complex, so perhaps that was actually acceptable and he would have to discover that later. 

Logan wanted to get this all under control within the next ten minutes, though he wasn’t accurately able to tell how long he had been laying down when the static that seemed to follow him blocked his vision. Breathing was still difficult. Still present. A reminder that they were failing their objective already. That this wasn’t going to plan. He was going to die on day one. Despite the severity of everything Logan felt (he FELT things now), he wasn’t allowed to give up. That was explicitly against the rules. 

With the overpowered conviction of doing what he was told, Logan laid on the couch silently. A pain in his lungs, a throbbing in his head. Well, technically the pain was coming from his nerves sending signals to his… brain. Logan frowned, almost pulled from the sensation of his lungs being crushed by a hydraulic press by the reminder. His brain. Logan still didn’t fully understand how he worked, even if he knew the components that made him up. They desperately wanted to. Just to know. Logan enjoyed learning. He didn’t know a lot about himself, but he knew that. Logan wanted to learn.

He pressed the palms of his hands against his closed eyes, somehow that specific type of pressure alleviated the pain. There was a knock on his door after a few minutes. It was his first day living in this apartment. Logan was told to expect greetings from neighbors, in some regard. But this felt overwhelming still. 

Logan ignored them.

The next day was filled with duller pain, but still ever present. His neck creaked loudly as he tilted his head from side to side. Logan had to leave the apartment today. This was something he always knew he had to do, but didn’t know if he wanted to. Well, he did know. He absolutely wanted to stay hidden away from the world for the rest of time. But… Logan turned on his phone, to reread the message he had gotten. Emile wanted to see him, and they were going to meet up at a café. His text was… long and hard to parse through. Even though Logan had trouble discerning tone a majority of the time, they got the sense that Emile was more excited about this than Logan would be able to be. After looking at themself in the mirror for entirely too long, washing the dried blood from his neck, and getting dressed, he left the apartment. Logan struggled locking the door, having to try about six times, and just hoped that no one would notice long enough for him to appear normal. 

He was on the second floor, defined by a walled off balcony wrapping around the exterior of the building to connect each apartment to a shared space. Logan was about to reach the stairs down when a man walked into him. Or perhaps it was his fault, it was hard to tell really. Logan stepped back, almost affronted by the contact. The person was tall, with thin and long box braids wrapped in a bun. He had rectangle glasses with rounded edges and a smile on his face. It made Logan instantly uncomfortable looking anywhere near his eyes, so they looked away.

“Howdy!” … What? The man continued. “Sorry for bumping into you, that’s my bad. You’re the one who just moved in right? What’s your name?”

This was possibly worse than everything Logan had ever experienced. He wasn’t entirely sure how high (metaphorically) that bar was, but it was probably significant. Logan didn’t respond for a few awkwardly silent seconds. They coughed, preparing his throat to speak. “I’m… I did just move in, yes. My name is Logan. Logan Clay.” Was he doing this right? How were you supposed to tell? The man was still looking at him like he expected something. Logan went through all they remembered from practicing. Oh! Right… “What’s your name?”

“The name’s Patton Nasir, neighbor!” He reached out his hand, looking… concerned(?) when Logan instinctively flinched away. Patton quickly retracted his hand before Logan even said anything about it, placing it gracefully on his hip. “Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, Logan! I live just next door. 214. So if you need help with anything, I’m always there for you.”

Was this genuine? Was there a way to tell? Logan just nodded. “Thank you, Patton. I’ll be sure to contact you if such a situation arises. I have to go now.”

Patton laughed. Logan just stared slightly to the left of his face, almost simulating true eye contact with his neighbor. “Of course, I didn’t mean to keep you, buddy. I hope you have a good day!”

He waved and walked past Logan, who just stood there as the conversation left the air, reminding themself to breathe. His neck still hurt, as if his splenius capitis would burn whenever he moved his head. Logan shook his head, despite knowing the action only exacerbated the pain. Logan finally got to continue walking to meet Emile, walking down the concrete stairs with a sense of urgency. He made sure to look at the directions on his phone so he wouldn’t get lost. Perhaps he looked at them a little too frequently. It took just about ten minutes and forty three seconds to reach the café. A local establishment with a patio that contained three tables. Two of those three had striped umbrellas over them. 

Emile was sitting at the table holding a disposable cup with a lid, presumably filled with coffee. It was as much of a relief as a great anxiety to finally see him. Logan walked up to the table with a sense of urgency that wasn’t shared with their companion. Emile smiled easily, his scrunched nose lightly displacing his glasses. 

“Hello, Logan! Do you how do?” He greeted.

If this were any other individual, Logan would be concerned at the nonsensical manner he held himself with. But this was Dr. Emile Picani, the only person he truly knew. The only person who knew… Logan. Himself. Logan nodded. “I’m doing adequate, Emile. Should I… order something too?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” Emile responded simply. “Did you have breakfast yet?”

Logan froze. He did a mental check of his body. His neck screaming (metaphorically), his hands still shaking, his stomach… People were supposed to eat regularly. He knew that. Logan was told that, and they knew that they had to do that too. Fuck. “I have not had breakfast yet.”

Somehow, Emile could read his tone, even when Logan himself could not. He frowned. “Logan… have you eaten anything since you left the hospital yesterday?”

“I drank water.” He supplied, as if that was a perfect substitute.

Emile stood up, the metal chair screeched loudly, and suddenly Logan had to resist the urge to drag his nails through the skin of his ears. “Let’s get you some coffee.”

Who was Logan to disobey? Emile ordered for him, and assured him of what he had gotten. Black coffee and a simple sandwich. They sat back down together. Logan drank the bitter drink, but mostly because it was expected of them. Despite the casual setting, the public atmosphere, this was a meeting. Logan knew that. Emile was acting like this because Logan didn’t know how to act yet. He appreciated it immensely. Logan started eating the sandwich, with dry bread and bland ingredients. 

“I’m glad you liked it. You… You used to order this same thing every morning.” Emile looked down, with a smile, but Logan didn’t think he was actually happy. “Anyways! Have you made any new friends yet or unpacked yet?”

Logan swallowed his food, setting his sandwich back down. He felt all the different components of his neck conflict with one another, reminding him of the constant searing pain that had incapacitated him the day before. A pain that wasn’t supposed to be there. “No, I haven’t. I thought… I was supposed to keep a low profile?”

It came out like a question, because he felt as though Emile’s questions contradicted the prior instructions he had given. Keep a low profile. Keep the secrets. Stay hidden. Were they intended to balance those objectives with a social life? Interior design? Logan reminded himself to breathe at a consistent pace. That was a lot of rules to uphold all at once, but he could do it. Emile expected them to, and they wouldn’t want to let him down. Not after all he had done for them. Emile just looked confused, similar to how Logan… felt. Hm.

“Logan, I don’t want to keep you from making new connections!” Emile exclaimed, his voice filled with a worry Logan didn’t understand. “Besides, an empty apartment and a lone hermit is… a little more suspicious than, say, hiding in plain sight like Constantine from Muppets Most Wanted.”

He gave back a blank stare. 

“Yeah… I don’t think you’ve ever seen that movie, even before everything.” Emile admitted. “I just mean: it’s going to be better for everyone if you settle down a little bit more, and nurture new friendships with your neighbors. You need to establish friendships and trust or… Or none of this is going to work. Or at least try! If nothing works out, you’ll still be meeting with me here every week! We can figure stuff out.”

It was reassuring, knowing that he wasn’t alone. Logan didn’t really know much about what to do or what he should be like. But Emile did. He really needed the guidance. “Thank you, Emile. I appreciate that. I will… ‘settle down’, when I am able.”

His friend smiled at him, with a type of pride Logan didn’t feel. He was mostly scared of what was going to happen to him. Emile smiled at him like everything was already going perfectly. It wasn’t exactly lying, but it was optimistic. Even though it was confirmation that the two were in this together, Logan still felt uncomfortable.

Emile left first, having the obligations of a job. He was working part time at a lab while he worked on his psychology degree. Logan… had a job. It was more freelance. They didn’t start until the next day. Logan collected the leftover dishes and trash, walking back inside to put them where they belonged. The plates went on a stack of other dishes also used that day, while the trash went into the nearest trash receptacle. He looked around, as if someone was there to tell him he did a good job. The only person there was a barista with sunglasses on scrolling on vaer phone with minimal interest. Vaey looked up at Logan, raising an eyebrow. Logan felt uncomfortable instantly and decided to leave. 

They spent the rest of the day organizing their new living space. The boxes didn’t contain a whole lot. Emile told him that he would have to go shopping on his own to accommodate anything that was missing. Logan suspected that Emile got him a job for that exact reason. So they could be more self-sufficient. Ironic, that Logan wouldn’t be able to do any of this without him. Logan thought this over while figuring out where to put their skillets and pans. He eventually took a break to eat, something he was determined not to forget again. Logan hadn’t cooked much before so settled for an oatmeal mix that Emile had packed him. They were not a big fan of the flavor. They ate it anyway. Logan had finished washing the two dishes he had used when someone had knocked on the door. His headache, well all of his aches really, were still bothering him profusely. But he was supposed to make connections right? 

Patton was holding a ziploc bag when Logan opened the door. The man was smiling, as if it was his default expression. He held it out to them. “I meant to give these to you yesterday, but… I’m giving them to you now! They’re chocolate chip cookies so I can take them back if you’re gluten free or allergic to chocolate or-”

He was just as nervous as Logan was. It didn’t seem to click until that moment. Logan took the back from his hands and looked up at Patton. “Thank you, for welcoming me to the neighborhood. You seem like a kind person, Patton.”

They didn’t really intend to cut off whatever Patton was talking about, but he didn’t particularly seem to mind. “Of course, thank you for the compliment! We’re going to start a whole chain of ‘thank you’s if we keep this up. I can’t wait to get to know you.”

Patton left after that, but what he had said ringed in Logan’s ears. 

I can’t wait to get to know you.

He repeated this as he got dressed for bed. He repeated it as he brushed his teeth. As he stared into the mirror for too long. As they put their glasses on the box they were using as a nightstand. Logan couldn’t wait to know himself too. They reminded themself to breathe, and continued to do so until it became even again. I can’t wait to get to know you. What a polite, kind thing to say to a stranger. 

Logan took a long deep breath in as he dug his fingers into the back of his neck. He gagged, feeling himself breathe heavier and faster. The skin between his spine and skull shifted to make room for the change. They searched around the blood and nerves, until latching to a specific cord. It resisted his grasp as Logan repressed the urge to flail. Clawing, clawing, clawing. He pulled the cord out slowly, feeling it rake against his organic matter. It collected blood as the end finally surfaced. Logan took a heavy breath, letting himself collapse forwards. A second was needed to catch his breath, to calm themself down. He wiped the blood off the cap protecting the end, before taking it off. Logan then plugged the cord into the glowing box underneath his bed. They felt the jolt of electricity enter their body as the cord began glowing a soft orange that mirrored the box.

Laying on their side, facing away from the box, was the only comfortable way to sleep. Not that they imagined they would do much of that. Despite trying, Logan didn’t feel fully human. Because he wasn’t, not really. Not like Emile, not like Patton. But he did wonder. Would this ever stop hurting? Would he ever stop hurting? Being a human was constantly being in pain. At least, that’s what it seemed like. Logan attempted to halt their thinking as they ignored the heat emanating from their neck, and the frantic breaths drawn for their lungs.

AO3 Link Here!

Taglist: @amateurmasksmith @phoenixtfc @snowynb @hydrastefishere @part-time-zombie @blueberryraccon

[sleepyvirgilprompts]

In a human AU, Virgil is a five-year-old and Patton is his dad. Patton works from home a lot, and since Virgil is good at sit-quietly-while-Dad-is-busy as long as he's fairly content, Patton lets him sit on his lap while he works if Virgil wants to. Virgil likes cuddling and often ends up dozing off in Patton's lap.

[43on14n]

Stupid little tangent but I wanted to say how I think the sides heights are.

I will say, I think they’re all still super tall, I don’t really think anyones noticeably WAY shorter, but It’s still fun to think about (・ω・)b (I’m thinking of this as an AU where they’re all just humans n shit)

I think Virgils the tallest. Mainly because I saw someone say he’s anxiety, so he’s heightened. I thought that was funny so I keep it now. He’s probably intimidating to be next to, but, he tries not to be

Then I think Logan, no particular reason, mainly just me thinking he’s also unintentionally intimidating. He’s logical and super blunt, so I can imagine him also as a darker presence to be around. Shown through height lol

Then I think the twins are relatively the same height, but Remus is like… a centimeter taller and always gives Roman shit for it

Now I really hate when people make Patton super short because “he’s so smol bean energy!”.. I’ve always disliked the treatment he gets with fanart where he’s so delicate looking 😭. So I imagine he’s around the same height as Roman… but this might be out of my spite lol

Janus is the shortest… still tall. I dunno, I have no reason for it but, I just think its right

[art-crumbs-main]

Tried my hand at some genderbent, human AU moceit! Patton is Patricia (Patty,) and Janus is Janice. 💀

[ijustwannadraw0716]

You know what's so fun about drawing Sander sides human au? Literally they can be anything and everything but it's frustrating too because there's so many fun options.

Like Janus? Genderfluid. Or maybe they're nonbinary. Perhaps they're a trans man.

Maybe they're a tall trans women with long blonde hair and dresses like a Victorian goddess.

Or perhaps they're the shortest one with short brown swept hair and has slammed their cane into someone's kneecaps for calling them short.

And don't get me started on human interpretations of their scales. A scar over their eye, a snake tattoo, burn scars, etc.

And body type! Maybe Janus is a bit curvy, I love writing AFAB Janus with double Dee's because I feel like it woukd be a funny allude to a certain suggestive comment made towards snakes (if you know, you know). Or he's thin and oh oh! Definitely could see him with hip dips.

And vitiligo! I love drawing Janus with vitiligo. I headcanon Janus as someone with a disable, perhaps a bad leg, arthritis, blind in his left eye, the possibilities are endless and that's what I adore.

And these are just some ideas and for human designs. Perhaps ill have to share a collage of all my sander sides designs overall because oh b o y do I have quite a few.

Lemme know if you wanna hear more rambles about what I think the other sides could look like as humans ;3 I could go more in depth and such, my mindless is endless.

[confusedasever]

Can you post more of your doodles?

Yes. Yes I can. This image comes from my long running headcanon that human au Logan can’t swim. I laughed a little too hard while drawing this

[justdlightful]

Janus has bad seasonal allergies, and spends October to March sneezing and speaking with a stuffy nose. Virgil thinks it’s hilarious, and Patton likes to compare Janus’ sneezes to him dabbing because of his obsolete dad humor. Heavily inspired by a post by @sandersidess .

[t1nysweets]

now I'm really into humans are space orcs and the idea was that the dark sides are aliens and the light sides are humans

finished-> remake

Virgil is here as the main one and the others are tiny as you can see. I will also do the others.

Janus was interesting because I didn't know how to make his top half so he's half human :/

Remus is usually described as having a lot of octopus tentacles, so he's just a monstrously XD

light sides are not even done because I don't know if I should keep them as humans hidden in close of aliens or be aliens themselves

[typically-untypical]

Lucky

AU: Soulmate Human AU

CW: Remus Angst

WC: 3703

Date: 12/7/2023

There were few people in the world who were as lucky as Remus. He had been born with four soulmates, four people he could pour all of his love and admiration onto and have it be reciprocated. Even if he was a little weird, even if he was a bit reckless, there were going to be four people who loved him through it all.

There were few people in the world who were as lucky as Remus. When he was in middle school he had made two new friends only to find out pretty quickly that they were his soulmates. He had found two of his forever people before he even turned 13 and he knew he was going to have a life full of happiness and love with the two of them. When they found their other two soulmates, Remus was going to be the happiest person in the world.

Remus had a run of bad luck. It could happen to anyone. A few teachers who didn't like him, a few gossipy students who wanted to ruin him, and two parents who didn't believe him. It was a recipe for disaster. Remus was sent away, but he had already met two of his soulmates and his brother, so it was okay.

Remus' bad luck continued. His brother was isolated from him, apparently a bad influence isn't worth talking to. His soulmates were isolated from him. Janus' parents were convinced Remus was the devil and Virgil's own family was chaos. Between the drama in their lives and the restrictions in Remus' their communication faltered and failed more and more until it was basically non-existent. 

There were few people in the world who were as unlucky as Remus. He had finally gotten out of his crappy high school his parents had shipped him to. He had his freedom, but he had no one. Virgil's phone was disconnected, Janus' father picked up when Remus tried to call, and Roman wanted nothing to do with him. Remus was alone but he didn't need luck. He could be strong. He could fight. Not to mention, he had hope. Remus still had two soulmates who might want to see him.

There were few people in the world who were as unlucky as Remus. He stared down at his phone, looking at his brother's instagram. He was home for the summer break, his first semester of college over with, and he had brought home two friends. At first Remus couldn't believe his eyes, two men, two soulmarks, both matching his missing pieces. His brother had to have known. He had to have understood what it meant becoming friends with those two people, those two specifically. Remus threw his phone at the wall of his apartment. It was drafty and poorly maintained but it was his. He had learned how to do most of the repairs himself. He had gotten into a job himself, and damn it was exhausting, but he had done it all for the hope that one day his luck would turn around, one day he could be loved again. Sinking to the floor, Remus put his head in his knees, closing his eyes and fighting the tears that threatened to well up from inside of him. It had all been a rumor, a stupid rumor his parents and teachers took as truth. Yes he liked the macabre, but that didn't make him a monster, and even if he was, what of it. He wasn't hurting anyone. Remus ran a hand through his hair, looking at the dent in his wall. He was going to have to fix that. He could get all the supplies and then maybe get himself something cheap to eat from a fast food place. It was so hard to cook cheaply for one person especially when he didn't have proper storage space for leftover or bulk cooking. 

Pushing himself to his feet, Remus walked over and picked up his phone, quickly closing the Instagram app so he wasn't able to focus on what he lost. He had wanted to go back home after high school, to return to his hometown and find Janus and Virgil. However, being completely cut off from financial help, it wasn't necessarily easy for him to make it back home. He might be able to now that it was a year later, but his finances still weren't completely secure. Maybe he should start posting on Instagram rather than just stalking his brother, then Janus and Virgil could find him easier, but honestly, Remus was nervous. So much had gone wrong in his life, he was afraid of trying to reach out again, of watching it all blow up in his face. He had an account, but it was blank, and he wasn't following anyone, not even Roman. Remus hadn't wanted to give his brother the chance to block him. He couldn't handle being anymore disconnected then he already was. 

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Remus ruffled his long hair. He had started dying it green ever since he got out of that stupid boarding school. Maybe he should post that, he could dye his hair again, it was getting a bit faded and he could buy box dye and a steak quesadilla and just do something for himself today. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Remus went to check his bank account. He had enough money for it, especially if he wasn't going to try and go back to his hometown. He needed to find another word for it. That place hadn't been home in a really long time. 

True to his word, Remus spent the rest of his night dying his hair a bright green, he even trimmed it up and made it look nice before taking a picture and posting it. He wasn't trying to get famous or anything, just trying to throw out a line. He wasn't the type to sit by helplessly. If Janus and Virgil didn't find him, then it wasn't actually meant to be. If they did and didn't want him... well he could continue deluding himself. 

After seeing his last two soulmates with Roman, he wasn't expecting to ever have them by his side. He was sure his brother had already told them a million awful things about the type of person he was. He was going to cling to what he knew, who he knew. Virgil and Janus had been such wonderful soulmates. They had just been kids when they met, and that's all they wanted to be back then. The three of them would sneak onto the school at night, they would play harmless pranks on each other and when things were really hard for Virgil at home, they would all come together and just exist. That's what Remus wanted, he wanted someone he could exist with, someone he could go home to. He wasn't sure what that was going to mean for any of them in a future, if they even had one together, but he imagined Halloweens spent in graveyards, Christmases spent in the forest. He imagined so much while he was separated from them. Now he just hoped to have them in his house one day. 

[Section Break]

Virgil sat on Janus' couch, curled up against him as he scrolled through tumblr. Janus had just gotten back for summer break and Virgil wasn't intending on leaving his side if it could be helped. He had gotten super clingy after they lost Remus, and it really was their fault. The two of them should have tried harder to keep in contact with him, but he hadn't had a cell phone when he was sent to that stupid boarding school and Virgil's home life had gotten so much worse. Remus had been so isolated, but so had Virgil up until the day he turned eighteen and ran away. Janus was the one who had helped him out, hiding most of it from his parents. The two of them were all each other had and even now they could only cuddle like this because both of his parents were out on a cruise. Their only son came back from college and they were gone. Virgil didn't know how they could stand to be separated from him.

"You're squishing me again, I can't breathe," Janus chuckled, shifting so he could pull Virgil a bit closer. "How is it you are a guest in this house and yet taking up my entire couch?"

"It's not my fault your couch is so small," Virgil stretched as if to make a point and Janus rolled his eyes before leaning down to kiss him.

"It's not my fault you're so tall."

"You're just short, even Remus-" Virgil cut himself off, they weren't supposed to talk about Remus, it hurt too much, but sometimes he couldn't help it.

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Janus put down his phone, running a hand over Virgil's eyes to hide him from the world. They had had to stop thinking about Remus, stop dwelling on him. It was tearing both of them apart. Virgil blamed himself for not reaching out more and Janus worried about whether or not Remus was doing alright. Everything had gone from perfect to falling apart in such a short time, and they had just been kids. 

"I can't help it. I keep thinking if I had written him letters, or if I had done literally anything at all, maybe I could have kept in touch with him, maybe he and I could be working to support you through what you want to do and not what your parents want you to do."

"A third income would help," Janus teased, rubbing his thumb across Virgil's temple, watching as his boyfriend wrapped his fingers around Janus' hand, holding him closer. "But it's not your fault. It's not either of our faults. If anything, we can blame Roman."

Virgil snorted but didn't argue. The two of them both had a bone to pick with Roman who had truly gone to the dark side in high school. He had perpetuated the rumors about his brother and started using Remus as his tragic backstory. Senior year Virgil had decked Roman for his lies. He had gotten suspended for three days but it had been worth it.

"Do you want to jump onto instagram and make fun of him?" Janus asked and Virgil pouted. It wasn't fair for him to be so well known. He was supposed to be mysterious.

"Yeah," He finally relented, slowly pulling down Janus ‘hand so he could see once again. "After, do you want to go to the mall and see if we can scope out soulmates? More people means more eyes looking for Remus."

"I guess if we have to leave the comfort of my home the mall is acceptable." Virgil poked Janus in the side and they both laughed a bit, settling back into their silence. It was hard to keep themselves smiling and happy, but they did their best. They fought to keep and hold each other, not willing to lose one another again. Janus opened up Roman's instagram and immediately shot up almost pushing Virgil off the couch.

"What? What happened?"

"Look at this!" He held his phone out. Virgil and Janus were both looking at Roman with two men they had never seen before, two men who had their soulmarks.

"We should break into the house," Janus said quietly but seriously and Virgil shot up. It was so like Remus and for a moment it almost felt like he was here, but then the moment faded and Virgil was very aware that this was an awful idea.

"We should not, we can't break into Remus' childhood home. Especially not with Roman there. The two probably aren't even with him, they're probably in a hotel or something."

Janus lifted his eyebrow, standing up as well. "Come on Virgil, think about it. They have so many bedrooms, and the Prince parents are so concerned about status. They would never have their guests stay in a hotel. They are probably in the media room watching some stupid movie. Also, this is something Remus would do, and if they can't see past it, then they won't accept Remus, and I won't accept them."

Virgil wrung his hands together. "This… this is a really bad idea, but I'll follow you anywhere."

A look of love and adoration crossed Janus' face as he pulled Virgil in for a kiss. He wasn't the type for sudden affection, he preferred to be more mysterious than that, but sometimes, he had too much love to keep held in his chest. When they finally separated he smirked softly. "Let's go break into a house."

It wasn't really breaking into a house if they had a key, right? Technically they didn't break anything. Virgil still looked terrified about the whole thing, but he was doing his best to keep on a neutral face. Janus was proud, but also knew he would have to do almost all of the talking with this. He made his way to the media room, which was actually empty but then he heard laughing from the living room and Janus tilted his head that direction. Part of him felt the need to be dramatic, to flicker the lights and scare all of them, the other part of him did want to impress his soulmates. He would just have to wait for the right moment.

"Alright, Roman, what's your greatest fear?" The curly haired one asked and that was Janus' moment.

"Oh I can answer that," He walked in, leaning against the door frame with a smirk. "He's afraid he'll turn out to be like his brother, or at least, what he imagines his brother is."

The room was silent for a moment before the taller one went for his phone. It looked like he was dialing someone when Roman sighed and rolled his eyes. 

"What are you doing here, Janus?" His tone was flat and Janus would have been offended if he wasn't more focused on the importance of what was in front of him.

"Coming to meet my soulmates, since you decided to hide the two of them from us."

"I wasn't hiding anything from them or you," Roman stated and at the same time Logan and Patton spoke.

"Us?"

Virgil slowly walked around the corner. "Sorry to disturb you, I thought it was a bad idea, but also, we didn't want to miss an opportunity to meet you." He looked over at the two men. "I'm Virgil, and this is Janus."

"How cruel of you to not let me introduce myself, but I guess Princy already broke that for me. Yes, my name is Janus and if you'd like me to unrobe, I can prove that the two of us are your soulmates. However, that might offend poor Roman's delicate sensibilities."

"Now see here," Roman shot up, making his way toward Janus but was stopped by Logan.

"Allow me to make sure I have all of the information correct. You know these two men?"

Roman nodded.

"And you were aware that we shared soulmarks."

Roman nodded again. "But, I just realized it today, when we were all in the pool."

Logan hummed and sighed, looking up at Roman. "What else are you hiding?"

Janus smirked at that. "Oh you haven't told them have you?" 

"Quiet," Logan said standing up, "We could very well have you arrested for trespassing. Simply because I am irritated at Roman doesn't mean you are off the hook." He swiveled back to Roman. "What else haven't you told us?"

Patton stood up slowly, putting a hand on Logan's arm. "Hey, love, deep breath. I'm sure Roman has a reason, and isn't it just a bit romantic that they came running to find us as soon as they knew where we were?" He asked with a softness that melted some of Logan's ire. He took in a slow deep breath and turned back to Roman expectantly.

"Do you remember the brother I've told you about?"

"The brother who bullied someone until they left school?"

"You fucking liar!" Virgil hissed, stepping forward. "Is that what you told them about him? You know that was a stupid rumor. Jenna moved because her parents were relocated. The two of them barely interacted." It was Janus' turn to reach out and reign his love in. Patton looked a bit surprised. Logan looked suspicious.

"What about your brother?" Logan asked.

"He's your fourth soulmate." The room was deathly silent for a bit, none of them dared to breathe. "I didn't know, I swear I didn't know until today, and I didn't know how to tell you. Remus really was awful, he was always trying to be in the spotlight, always attempting to do weird things just to get other people's attention. He didn't understand how to behave and he stepped all over people's boundaries. He wasn't a good person, and I wasn't sure how to tell you that the universe decided you should be with someone like that. I was going to tell you eventually, but I just... I didn't know how."

Patton pulled Roman in for a hug. "We know the soulmate subject is tricky for you, but this is a decision you should have let us make." 

Logan rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I agree, especially since you have no idea where your brother is." Logan turned to Janus and Virgil, "My name is Logan, would you two happen to know where Remus is?"

They both immediately turned somber and Logan sighed. "Very well, now that we know what we're dealing with. I think it's probably best if you two head home as you weren't invited and you are currently trespassing. Roman, we are going to have a very frank discussion about your brother." He pulled out his phone, opening it up and handing it to Janus. "Please put your phone number in, I shall call you in the morning and we can discuss things further." Janus raised his eyebrow and said nothing as he put his name and number in the phone, adding a heart emoji just for flair.

[Section Break]

After they had left, Logan sighed and rubbed his face. "Roman, I have always been aware that your disdain for your brother might be more than you were willing to admit, however, hiding our soulmate from us is reprehensible at best and an intentional betrayal of our friendship at worst."

Roman's face soured but Logan continued. He didn't want this to turn into an argument, he just wanted to understand. "Tell us about Remus, not your opinions, but what he has actually done."

They had a conversation, a long one, a hard one. It went several hours into the night and at the end of it Patton and Roman, who weren't used to all nighter study sessions, were both exhausted. Logan, on the other hand, wanted to reach out to Janus first. He had gotten as much information as he could from Roman, including Remus' disownment and the location of Remus' boarding school he had been sent to. Logan had a job now. He didn't think Remus would be far from where the boarding school was, especially if he hadn't had the money to leave. Which meant he could construct a radius, and maybe they could go on a field trip. He wanted a chance to meet his soulmate. He wanted to be able to decide for himself whether or not Remus was too much. Logan didn't like being told what he could and couldn't do, what he could and couldn't have. He made the decisions for himself, and he would judge Remus for himself.

He and Patton spent the rest of the night coming up with a plan, Roman consistently sulking in the corner. In the morning the two of them spoke to Remus and Janus again. It was decided, they were going to go on a road trip, not only to try and find Remus, but also in order to get to know one another better. That's what led Patton here, standing with Janus in a coffee shop almost a full state away. The drive had been hard, but fun and they had decided to split up into unfamiliar pairs. Patton was getting to know Janus and the ways he had with words. He was currently sweet talking a barista, acting calm and collected, yet Patton had also seen him go on rants about injustice as he and Logan debated. There were so many sides to Janus and Patton was utterly fascinated.

"Can you tell us anymore about this patron, like what areas he frequents?" The barista shook her head, but then her eyes lit up.

"I don't know where he is, but I think that's him." She was pointing to a figure walking past the coffee shop, shuffling about in a daze. He looked so tired and in need of such care. Patton was moving on his own, quickly making his way to the man with bright green hair, a thunderbolt tattoo on his arm that matched the one of Patton's. As soon as he got to Remus' side, the man faltered and fell into Patton's arms. He must have been exhausted. 

"Angel?" He asked quietly, and Patton couldn't help the smile that lit up his face. He was already starting to like Janus, so of course he was willing to jump into this feet first.

"I'm sorry kiddo, I'm not an Angel, but I think I could fall for you like Lucifer." 

Remus snorted, slowly pushing himself up. "Cute," he muttered, yawning. "Thanks for catching me-"

It seemed like he had more to say, but didn't get a chance as Janus flung himself at Remus. "You're here."

"Jay?" He asked, trepidation and nervousness in his voice before he scooped up Janus, both of them inevitably falling on their asses. It didn't matter, not as Remus continued to call out Janus' nickname, and not as Patton sent a picture to Virgil and Logan. 

Patton could tell, they were going to be the luckiest group ever.

@tsspromptmonth