#hrt that makes you a robot

[livingshredder]

TIME: 9:23, 12 June 2075

LOCATION: FOREST DISTRICT, FIELDS OF GLASS, ENDLESS LINES

Exiting standby mode, X7 noticed the empty bed. It quickly noticed Cay, over in the kitchen, making herself some breakfast. Heh, it thought. Kitchens in Proxima living spaces were only ever needed with organics present. Such a strange concept to shards.

It walked over to her and wrapped its arms around her gently, recalibrating its locomotion gyroscopes for the day. She was still nude - not that she didn't care, but clothing was generally seen as unnecessary in Proxima's culture. She liked to respect that.

"Hey, what're you making?" the android asked, curiously. "Pfft, not like you'd care. Pancakes."

"Heh. Don't forget your tastes are gonna totally change once you get your new body. You'll be more interested in eating that pan than whatever you're making in it."

She laughed. "Doesn't bother me. And, hey, it's not gonna stop me having my favourites."

"So you're still sure, I take it? Haven't changed your mind yet?"

"Not at all! Trust me - I prefer the upsides. And besides. I'd look cute. Like you."

X7 blushed slightly, cyan coolant rushing into its facial thermal-convection matrix.

"Y-yeah. You would."

Cay smiled, as Vertex let her continue to cook.

"Hey, by the way, you got anything for me?", the android queried.

"Oh! Right! I grabbed you what I could for work. It's mostly last-gen hardware, but it should be more interesting than the material cubes you Shards usually get. I left the box on the table."

Sitting down at the table, X7 opened up the box - inside, various assorted computer components, as well as a couple of laptops. Not brand new, but they could've probably still fetched a fair price. "Cay-thank you! This is great!!!"

"No worries. I think I'm like, in the best place to get this sorta stuff now. Anyways, enjoy." She walked over from the kitchen; sitting down opposite Vertex and placing her plate of hot pancakes in front of her.

The lombax began to dig into the stack of pancakes, as Vertex sifted through the box of hardware, picking out one of the laptop computers. It wrapped its maw around the corner, taking a clean bite - chewing with subsequent crunches - and swallowing.

"Heh. Y'know, I feel like it's gonna be cool to be able to do that. To eat whatever I want, I mean. I envy the fact that you got to wreck that millionaire's car once. That was fucking nice."

The android blushed, mid-bite. "Y-you thought that was cool?"

"Hell yeah, you're pretty amazing. They got what they deserved."

[bearballing]

what qualifies something to be Queer Media anyway. does it have to be About being lgbt or just contain themes and or characters that are ?

if the latter then beast machines is the best queer media because there is a subplot that is a ""love triangle"" between 3 characters and there are themes of homophobia and self identification (gender allegory) and etc etc etc

i'm jk though. beast machines is not actually good.

[gor3sigil]

I’m Trans and Insane and I’m doing fine.

[TW Psychosis, transphobia, psychophobia, medication, psych ward]

“Are you sure ?” she asked.

I remember looking back at her in disbelief, because that was certainly a question I never asked her when she came out.

“Why do you ask ?” I say.

“Dude, I’ve seen you go into depersonalization so hard you even thought you were a human soul in a robot vessel and now, you want me to trust you when you say that you, too, are trans ?”

That’s the memory that comes back to me as I fold and put in my bag my psychiatrist’s note attesting that I suffer from gender dysphoria, NOT LINKED to any psychotic symptoms. Here it goes in my folder with my prescription note, an increase - again - of my anti depressants and Xan, and my endocrinologist’s HRT prescription, increased too - finally.

I go to two separate pharmacies to pick up each prescription for two reasons:

There is only one in this godforsaken town that always had testosterone in stock.

I can’t explain to you with words the look you can get when you give back to back, to someone who, despite not being a doctor, works in healthcare, a note for trans HRT and then a note for psychiatric meds.

And I’m lucky, because I’m not taking antipsychotics anymore. Contrarily to what you could think, it doesn’t magically makes the voices and the shadowy people disappear, but it can make a mess of your head pretty bad and my doctor and I both agreed that I didn’t need more damage up here than what I already had. And no, it doesn’t make your delusions vanish magically too: in fact, I was still pretty certain that I was talking to my soul family out here in Argentine telepathically about my mission on Earth, the meds just made it more difficult to understand their voices, but the belief was still solid.

Anyways, I’m back home with the Hoy Grail I fought tooth and nails to get: a letter from the Sacred Council of Mental Sanity also known as Psychiatry that I was, indeed, a bit delulu, but also trans, and that both things didn’t play into each other. My transness wasn’t a delusion, my delusions didn’t have anything to do with being trans.

Or did it ?

Chicken or egg, you know the drill. Did I have my selves fractured before and one of the piece that shattered my brain happened to make me trans or was I just trans with a shitload of traumas in the back that made me insane ?

But don’t worry, at least, trans people when we’re together, we have each other’s back ! Right ?

“Transidentity ISN’T a mental illness !! We don’t DESERVE to be FORCIBLY LOCKED UP and MEDICATED and MADE TO CONFORM FOR OTHER’S SENSE OF SECURITY !!”

Neither do I, RIGHT ?

Oh

Or do I ?

Remember what she said, my girlfriend, right at the beginning ?

How I can’t be trusted about myself when sometimes I don’t even have a sense of self anymore or I have too much selves who fight against each other ?

And what do we say to that ?

Get treatment. Get in-patient. Take medication. And for the love of God, shut the fuck up about it, you’re giving us a bad name.

Because being trans and crazy can’t exist. It’s absurd. You have to fix one of these two things. Choose which jacket I’ll wear, and they call it a straitjacket for a reason it seems, so am I queer or am I insane ?

All I know today is there isn’t a universe in which I’m a trans without any mental illnesses, or mentally ill without being trans. And yet, I can’t tell you how many time I got asked “do you think you’d be trans if you never got through [x trauma] ?”. I. Don’t. Know. I’ll never know. And I deserve just as much agency as you get despite being mentally ill. If you don’t believe in that, don’t come yapping about “liberation for all of us”, but “if one of us is crazy they’ll all think I am too and that can’t happen”.

No LGBTQIAA+ person deserves to be told they need to be put away, to be cured, to be allowed out in the open only if they’re deemed “acceptable” by society’s standards. And no mentally ill people deserve to either.

No trans person should be going through years of counseling to have the access to HRT.

And I shouldn’t have had to threaten my own mother’s life to avoid being locked in an adult psych ward at 14.

If you ever think, for one second, that these two things have nothing to do with one another, you are far removed from history.

To hear queer people say “yeah but some mentally ill people are dangerous !” feels like you don’t even know where you come from.

And if I want to say, that me being trans is linked to me being mentally ill, or at least, that both are connected in a way, all hell breaks fucking loose.

So I’ll explain very carefully.

See, when I was young, my mind got shattered into a thousand of pieces I had to try to glue back on. All these pieces of myself broke further more down the line because I couldn’t catch a fucking break. And now, it happens that the final puzzle does not have the same face it had before. It happens that its shape changed over time, for reasons over the control of all of us who tried to build ourselves back. Now there’s a bigger picture, less pieces, a few other shadows, and me. Built from the shatters. With my own needs and afflictions.

And whoever you are, whatever your agenda might be, I will not let anyone take any agency away from me under the false pretext that I can’t know anything for myself. They say that about children, they say that about minorities, about physically disabled people, about the people they want OUT. And my trans siblings, you know that.

I came out for the first time 7 years ago, to my then girlfriend, who was the one asking the question that is the first sentence of this text. I came out a second time 3 years ago. Been on HRT, had top surgery, had psychotic breaks, got my meds changed, switch therapist.

Because I am trans and crazy. And yet, all these choices I made, I made myself. It didn’t have to be that hard to get the basic care I needed. It didn’t need to be. But it WAS. And I’m part of the lucky crowd of people who had access to out-patient treatment, who never have been locked up in ward, who managed to stay alive through meds withdrawals without medical assistance when I had no therapist.

Be very careful of when you start to put conditions on the rights you think you deserve. Be very, very careful about your definition of sanity and of how it warps the way you see people. When you start to say “I have access to that, but there’s people like X or Y who shouldn’t BECAUSE”, pause and ask yourself what led you to think this way. More often than not, you’ll find yourself playing the same mind games as the ones you swore to fight against, and when it gives them the upper hand, they won’t hesitate to come for you after that.

[an-uncertain-robot-girl]

robot hrt consisting of nanobot injections that start by creating an intake port and slowly replace your body over time

you could even get different goal models based on what kind of nanobots you get or how they're programmed or the like, one kind could make you have a screen head and another could replace everything with synthetic skin or adjacent

[transgenderprototype]

hrt that makes you a robot

[lunadook]

Human Replacement Therapy Extended Universe (and inspired) Link Collection Part 1

EDIT: We've hit the Inline Link Limit! I've linked to a reblog containing more links. (The google doc linked at the bottom of the post will still contain everything in one place.)

Been seeing a lot of those Human Replacement Therapy comics and stories going around and I wanted to try and make a list of the first (?) panels/chapters of each one me (and helpful community members) have found so far, so..........

Part 2

Dragon [by ayviedoesthings] Fish [by welldrawnfish] Bat [by kaylasartwork] Puppy [by nyxisart] Mouse [by prettiestplatypus] Worm (I can't find the first one I'm too lazy) [by shaveyoureyebrows] Axolotl [by bubbleverseart] Goat [by kontonord] Elf [by squiretilde] Eldritch [by dawning-mars] Bird [by vy-canis-melodis] Slime [by pollypoirate] Slime (Written) [by mint-and-authoress] Slime (Written) [by scrubbinn] Slime (Written) [by sandyca5tle] Shifter (Written) [by calliecwrites] Cow (Written) [by josphitia] Bovine [by pennymations] Wolf [by gracewolfing] Coyote [by vanillayoteart] Werewolf [by tobydoeswrite] Werewolf [by cyberbeast99] Tiger (Written) [by tigergirltail] Mermaid HRT Poem [by ashleyrowanthewriter] Kitsune (Written) [by mothduchess] ??? [by home-sweet-hive] Sonic [by sonic-spirit] *break so tumblr will let this post*

Aves [by cozy-kitty-corner] Cat [by entroart] King Cobra [by thecrystalmountainsystem] Polymorph [by probablyplural] Human [by deadeyedfae] Werewolf [by lycans-art-kingdom] Mermaid [by noreo-oreo] Puppy [by noreo-oreo] Deer [by aster-is-confused] Lamia [by ariathelamia] Moth [by hyacinthdoll1315] Skunk [by sundaysstrawberrykombucha] Void [by v-draws-whatever] Dragon [by zykeroth] ??? [by transpandaart] Jaguarfolk [by jaguarfolkhrt] Sheep [by cr1zz0] Bunny [by grumpybunny-edith] Fox [by disappointedcreeper] Sparrow [by lylaslilacss] Animal? [by cutepastelstarsailor] Cow [by megamoonerjenny] Bug [by thebugautistic] Vrastelian [by silliestcreature196] Elf [by siimplyapril] Demon [by shockpulse] Wolf and Crow [by sunification] Bird [by tiredtiresias] Shoggoth [by aiden-nevada]

*break so tumblr will let this post*

Bird [by comfeeeeeeee] Bird [by nuclearraven-woman] Manticore [by redroversendjayover] Spider [by sweetspidergirl] Mouse [by alice-arty] Zombie [by sunnyrabbit05] Cat [by v0vivi0v] Cyberdemon [by kazsartcorner] Troll [by artvil-gang] Polar Bear [by frostehburr] Lamia [by robins-warudo] Shapeshifter [by maxine302] Vulture [by prollymad] Dragon [by a-being-that-just-is] Slug [by a-being-that-just-is] Cryptid [by thejaded0nes] Robot [by lavender-inkwell-99] Monkey [by mechanical-sunchild] Eldritch Dragon [by your-pal-nebula] Time Lord [by joyfulbeatrix] Digimon [by reticent-fate] Plant [by jalopytheplant] Slime [by ruckeysquared] Fox [by super-sayian-kitty64] Demon [by pugsofwriting] Weasel [by alice-of-heart] Sylveon [by constellarcreator] Robot [by squiddotmid] Eevee [by darlingsuperstition] Chimera [by gate4043]

*another pause weee*

Swolbold [by flowershakur] Type Green [by scpwiki-official] Dragon [by tresenellaart] Dragon [by theinsidiousdice] Robot [by raptorbricksart] Dragon [by koalaphoenix] Gem [by techno-toister] Hybrid [by ehksidian] Ktletaccete [by fenmere] Slime [by madelinemccoolname] Succubus [by lariumbreon]

Please feel free to let me know of any you know of that I missed or ones you have created and want added! I'll periodically update the post with anything I get links to.

I have also made a Google Doc containing all of the links, including the ones that aren't fitting in this post. Part 2 of this post, with more links, is here.

[noizepushr]

I think it’d work by putting a bunch of nano machines in the pill, which would probably involve a bunch of iron now that I think about it

Y’all have been yapping about all of the fuckin animal HRTs and it’s so cool and I’m happy for all of y’all, but where are the robot hrts?

Don’t ask me how robot HRT would work, I want it.

[veilantares]

I Was Built Unfinished and Can Never Be Saved

Cut away at the seams undone, sheared away to the bone and stunned. run, run away from if you can from the end, it was over before it began

there is no escape from being made unsalvageable. some kinds of ugliness cannot go away. maybe I should be grateful for how lucky I've been with HRT in some ways, but all I see are the parts that are still virtually identical. I hope I'll be in a safe country to be trans after this PhD ends so that I can keep seeing what effects HRT brings to me. maybe years down the line I will feel like more than nothing.

the people that say they love me don't understand why I feel like not being trans will kill me. I've been making art specifically about being trans for years but they've never clicked see more in the descriptions of my pictures.

I wiped my entire gallery of any personal and fashion pictures because suddenly I saw the ugliness that was always there. none of your friends will ever outright tell you you're ugly but you know they don't find you attractive or interesting when you post something and the channel goes silent for almost two days. The mask comes back on harder than ever before. I don't know what it will take for me to feel like it's alright to have a face again, and be more than just an online picture book of these robots.

scattered thoughts. next week I will be in Melbourne handling some bureacracy. I wasn't quite meaning for it to be a vacation but there will be some downtime. I wonder how different from Brisbane it is. I want to see the ACMI, but it's a blank slate otherwise.

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: 17 months “Sea legs”

“Did you really need to bring a recorder here? It's an aquarium hun. Do you really plan on interviewing yourself here?”

“It's not that, Abi. I just, with how bad my memory is, I want to make sure I have something to remember this moment.” 

“And you chose a recorder instead of a video camera because…?”

“I really want to eat the fish. This way I get to focus on your beautiful voice when I listen back.”

“...Gay.”

“Yeah, what are you gonna do about it? Kiss me maybe?”

“Maybe later. Come on, I want to get to the underwater tunnel before it closes!”

“I know it's Hyper city, but it's really cool to see so many therians here. Back in Canada, I'm lucky if I see one in a week.”

“There's a lot of us, yeah.”

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s nothing, just a little sad is all… 

Ok ok, I’ll talk, stop making that face, haha It’s just that, yeah there are a lot of us around. Still feels like we never get treated properly. We’re either freaks or walking tourist spots. I know things will get better eventually, but it's. I really wish I could figure out how to shapeshift into a more convincing human.

“You spent how long on this medication and now you're trying to look human again?”

“It's just useful, that's all. Besides, it's not like I have the right to call myself otherkin… Ow! Don't flick me hun, my skin is sensitive, and you could lose a finger!”

“stop overthinking things. Enjoy your time here and if anyone calls you out, then I'll kick their ass.”

“Thanks, but please don't fight anyone for me. No offense, but you're not exactly capable of doing damage to people hun… ow, ok ok stop it, ah! Haha, cut it out!”

“I'm not gonna stop until you start treating yourself better. You're my mimic girlfriend! You get to decide what you are and no one gets to tell you otherwise. Also! You have a bunch of other people here who would defend you like… is that a werewolf over there? Next to the robot and… um.”

“Pretty sure that's a cyborg, and also that looks like a black arms member?”

“Wait, like the-

“Abi, we're currently having a date in an interdimensional dead end, looking at fish that do not exist in our universe, and I'm pretty sure that fish over there is a badnik. It's really not that strange.”

“That's… fair.. I guess… Hey hun, I'm gonna go grab some ice cream real quick.”

“We're half way through the tunnel already. You sure you want to go all the way back?”

“I'll be quick, just stay put.”

Bzzzt, crackle, Welcome to the wonderful world of Hyperquarium! Thank you for choosing us as the one and only place that can bring fish together from around the worlds in perfect harmony! If you look to our left, you'll see our trained feeder get a chance to show off those gills and show you what only a shark therian can do, he's a professional so don’t worry about being bitten kids. This therian knows how to take care of others. This is also a reminder not to touch the glass as you may spook our feeder.

“Ugh, great, just what I needed, feeling insulted over an intercom. Why does getting second hand insulted have to feel worse? I'm definitely cutting this part from the recor- OW, OH STARS, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE… slithering, um, miss, are you ok?”

“Oh- I’m so sssorry I didn’t mean to, I sswear! This tail just gets sso long by now it’s… difficult for me to control at times. I uh… You haven’t seen any other Lamias around by chance? Or some people in brown uniformss?”

“Uniforms? You’re not on the run or something right? And no, I haven’t seen any other Lamias around, You’re actually the first I’ve ever really had a chance to see. I kind of thought I’d see more with how popular you guys are. But seriously are you alright?... 

Is- is that a shock collar around you?”

“Well… Yes and no- Yes thisss is a shock collar… okay uh- we’re not suppossed to call them that uh… It’s a.. “behavioral correction device”... But yess it’s a shock collar. And no, I'm not on the run… quite the opposite actually… I had a bit of an episode and lost myself in some instincts when watching the fish… and the next thing I know my group is gone and I'm.. I’m not supposed to be away from the group and… if I don't get back soon I might be in a bit of… ah ssscrew it they’re gonna be mad at me anyway… “

“So then… I know a good hiding spot to watch the fish if you want to hide a bit longer. I mean, if that’s ok, and I won’t get in too much trouble, and you won’t get in too much trouble, and I think I’m stumbling over my words, You want to just go hang out in the jellyfish room? It’s pretty dark there and they don’t allow any kind of outside lights in there.”

“Y-yeah that sounds nice! Low lightss could help with that headache. Uhm, what’s your name if i may assk?”

“It's Mayday, and what about you? What's your name?”

“Ah my name-.. It’s uh… oh wait.. I…hmm…Right! Aria… I think. I… am still not sure if I should change it… it’s uh.. complicated.”

* * *

“The jellyfish are really cool, just floating around with not a care in the world. I guess I get why humans find them so boring, but I think they're just not seeing how nice it would be. You know?”

“I totally get what you mean. Just being able to be you… going with the flow of thingss.. Not a care in the world. But that’s just something that therians like us can fully understand… other than the other animals of coursse right?”

“I'm guessing you're past your own crossroads then, like me, based on your words at least. You wouldn't mind if I asked you some questions would you? It's a bit selfish to ask after dragging you here, but I need to know something.”

“Ah well-... i am still “crossssing” it… doc said it will go on for another month or three… maybe longer they are all very vague about this stuff. But sure, I can try to answer to the besst of my ability.”

“So, what do you think of those that don't take that next step? Like the ones that decide they want to stay human in some way, aren't they cheating or something. Like they got to have their cake and eat it too, isn't it a bit unfair? I mean, look at you, you're getting escorted around in a collar by guards, and then we- they get to walk around with not a care in the world.”

“I don’t think that it’ss cheating… It is my choice to go through with it… and in the end I will be what I alwayss wanted to be… fully in both mind and sspirit. This of course will come with quite a few burdens… I am already forgetting so much that I would have loved to remember… But I alsso gain so much more which is just hard to desscribe. All I can hope for is that I ssomehow end up remembering all the faces of the ones that helped me get sso far… or at least ssome other kind of connection.  Those that however stay human to ssome degree have their own struggless to live with. For some it’s never being able to fully control yourself, alwayss having that bit in them that shines through and reminds them that they are sstill “incomplete” which can be a lot on their mind. In the end we all go our own ways, face our own struggless. No sside has it any easier I think than the other, it’s just… different, and you have to choose for yourself which sstruggles you want to deal with in the end. What you yourself think you are able to handle better. For me it was that I was just afraid that I couldn't control the animalistic sside of myself… I could just not live in this sstate i was in, i wanted to fully become me, hoping that it will set me free of the fearsss and anguish that my humanity brings me. But I know what it can cosst me… what it already has… still I weighed my options and decided that this is the best option for myself.  But if you think that where you are now is what is the best option for you, then no one should hold it against you, not even yourself… Does that make ssense?

“Wow, call me out huh. I guess I'm not as good at hiding these sorts of things as I thought. I technically went too far before I lightened my dosage. It left me, broken. Things don't feel right for either side, and I have things I just- there are things I can't let go of no matter how much I want this. It's like I'm splitting apart and I can't figure out how to be anything correctly. I'm not really Mayday, I lost all my memories in my first year. It should have been the perfect excuse to continue forward, but then I got to know Mayday's friends and family. And... I liked them, I liked them alot, I love some of them. I barely know them and when I met them for the first time it just felt right and they were crying like I died and. I can't put them through that. Not a second time. This human side of me just won't let go. I'm putting others before my own happiness again. I'm undermining your sacrifice, being a coward. Sorry I'm ruining your trip aren't I. I'll get out of your scales for you.”

“No wait! It’s okay, I’m used to doing thisss… sort of. Uhm sso… before I got put with the other Lamia’s… I was part of a group that… helped each other… there iss someone there that's a lot like you… multiple actually.. While they did not lose their memories… they stayed partly human too.. They did not continue like I did. Anyway, you’re a lot braver than me, I think.  You… lost your memoriess and still decided to stay with the ones that love you now and before, I don’t think I could have done the ssame. You’re still happy with them now aren’t you? I mean… the way you said it, it’s not just others happiness at stake but your own too. Sso… heh.. I don’t really know where I'm going with thiss but I think you’re brave.”

I can't believe I'm talking about all this with a complete stranger, solidarity is a powerful thing. Who knows, maybe we did know each other at some point and just forgot. But thanks. It doesn't fix how I feel, but it's a good bandage for now. In the meantime we can watch the Jellyfish together until you're ready to go back…

“Did you hear that announcement a little while back? Nice to see therians getting hired here but way to not only turn it into another tourist spot, but also insult all of us at the same time. Can you believe they actually said all that?”

“Oh my god yesss! How do you actually manage to be ssupportive and a total a-hole at the same time!? Urgh… It’s not just here though… god the way they sometimes announce our exhibit is just… urgh something about staying on the paths and not getting too close without sssupervision… like-... As if they don’t almosst OVERFEED us before so we aren’t even in the mood to hunt… and then these stupid collarsss too.. Sigh I thought this stuff is to make us get away from the negative ssstigma.. Not FEED into it..”

“Wait, I'm sorry, did you say exhibit? Like as in… you're part of a zoo attraction? Y'know, if I was still human, I would be throwing up at that. Is that why you're wearing a collar?! That can't be legal. Like when you say exhibit, you mean like they put you in walls that you can’t ever leave without people acting like handlers? That's disgusting!”

“Ah-... y-yeah? Well okay, it ssounds bad when put like that but… okay that's uh kinda the best option? It was either… have ssome other person keep me like a pet.. Definitely no, be put into the wilds far away from civilization and be not allowed within a certain disstance of any human civilization… also big nono in my eyes.. or… Join the lamia exhibit in the zoo. I’d still be allowed to see my friends… or, well, have them visit me at leasst… I can help fix the kinda negative view people have of Lamias ssince most think of the evil folklore… or video games…  I get to live with others of my kind in a gated community… food is taken care of… healthcare too… kinda… Honestly it was the besst of the options I was given… All I gotta deal with is people looking at uss all day… the stupid collarsss, handlerss… yeah… Maybe one day laws change, that we do not have to sign some legal ownership document stuff and can be free in the city as well… but until then… that’s how it hass to be.”

“I guess I understand, but that just sounds horrible to me. You can put up with a lot, if that’s what you're handling every day. Speaking of, are you going to be ok? Either your guards find us and something bad happens to you, or I jump in and take the blame for essentially kidnapping this zoo's pet. Either option doesn't sound particularly fun. Stars, I thought after finishing this transition I wouldn't have to deal with all this negativity. Somehow Hyper city ended up being just as bad as back home, only it's bad in different ways. This sucks. Is there really no other option that's better? I thought that lamias had intelligence comparable to humans, are your instincts really so strong that you'd endanger humans around you?”

“Don’t worry, they are gonna be quite mad at me, and i’m probably going to have to wait quite ssome time before they allow me my next outside trip… but as long as I sstay put, and don’t get in any situation that could be interpreted as me being a danger… they will probably not use the shock collar when they find me.  Well… the besst outcome would have been if at least they put my legal ownership to one of my friendss but… I wouldn't have wanted them to see me sslowly forget who I was and all the other legal stuff it brings with it… not to mention that most of them are therianss on HRT themsself so the state probably would gatekeep that somehow too. And please don’t put the blame on yourself, that would probably give a hefty fine if not jail time… rather leave the option open to see you again at the exhibit than have you banned from it. At leasst then I get visitors I know and like! And as for our insstincts… It’s difficult… yes they can be overwhelming but they get more manageable after the crossroads… At least that's what I heard from a friend. Ssomething about being more aware of them subconsciously. But for our intelligence being comparable to humans, that's true but mix it with our statuss being non human… and laws haven’t developed that far yet… we are basically categorized as animals. And with people being afraid of our fangs, ssnake parts and all that, I don't see it changing soon.”

“Oh that is so gross, I can't believe the universe would let something like that even happen. Sometimes I wish I could just bite anyone who ticked me off. But you're probably right. About everything I guess. I hate the idea of a place like that existing, but I'd rather not get in trouble and not have the chance to talk again. You're strangely nice to talk to, also I don't think I could afford bail if I got arrested. I probably would lose my chance to work with Erian if that happened. Maybe I can do some protesting in front of city hall instead… I also want to ask about that old support group of yours, and also… hm, maybe I shouldn't chew your ear off right. If you don't get into too much trouble, we could meet up to chat more? I'll make today up to you, if the zoo allows it I could get you a plush at the gift shop.”

“Ah-.. uhm… no… trust me that you do NOT want that… it’ss… no… you’ll not forget the taste… ever… *sigh* Anyway thank you that’s nice to hear, you’re also a lot of fun to talk to. A nice change of pace. Protesting could help! Make our voice heard~  I’d love a visit and another chance to talk too! The plushie would be lovely. As for my old ssupport group.. Yeah they are nice, you should really go and talk to them. We have an online presence so jusst look for… Therian THEMS support group!  There’s… a… white tiger… her name… uh… damn come on i know thissss… white tiger… and… brown… nghhh… come on COME ON I KNOW their… their namessss i know them…”

“Don't worry, it's fine. I live at THEMS actually, I didn't realize they had a support group. I sort of never checked around, and don't worry, I don't actually bite people… usually. Come on, we can try to sneak over to the gift shop and… um hey Aria, sorry if it's rude to ask but, well it's just a thought is all. Have you had a chance to see what you look like?”

“I-... I’m sssorry it’s… yeah. Yeah let’ss get there… Wait what i look like?... Now that you mention it… I kinda forgot my own face… not really any mirrorss around in the enclosure… we usually help each other with hairstyling and so on. Why do you ask?”

“Would you like to see yourself right now?”

“I… I mean sure? Iss there like a mirror around here or…”

“Supplemental: I had Erian’s help splicing the tapes together, He’s good with old stuff like this. I wanted to add this to better describe the scene. I want no possible chance I will forget this..

Ok, here goes. Descriptor: Morphing like that felt nice, I’d never done anything like that before, but, it just worked out. It felt like body and mind actually agreeing for the first time since I became a mimic. The faint pale glow of the jellyfish felt like it was a radiant sun illuminating not just the room but my shifting form. My mind felt complete. Sharp. Morphing into something with my human remains and mimic self in agreement for the first time. This state of change I went through, this was what I was meant to have. I could feel my legs twist and fuse into a tail that grew longer and longer. Teeth moved from my body and incorporated into fangs and claws. I could feel the chemical reaction inside of me as poison turned to venom. I never looked away, I didn't close my eyes. I just kept looking back at Aria, understanding every crease and shine in her scales. It was then I finally realized how much I had always wanted to be a mimic. This felt correct. The feeling faded eventually, but I knew I had morphed myself into a perfect copy of Aria, because when I looked at her I felt happy. Did the medication somehow know this is what I truly needed? I need more time to think. End supplemental.”

“Thisss- You’re- I- woah! This is uh- I’m sssorry I’m blown away by thiss! This is what I look like!? Wait before that- You’re a shapeshifter? I- Oh my. Thank you! I-... this feels a bit weird to asssk someone that currently looks like my exact twin but-... can i… you know… give you a hug for thisss!? I mean… looking at you it’ss… looking at everything i ever wanted to be I-... sssorry that wass a weird thing to asssk someone i jusst met earlier I-... Thanksss”

“You can give us a hug if you like. We don't mind being ssstrangers. Oh, we do that too, interessting. Eheheh, but yesss, you may hug.”

“Yeah you get usssed to it~ Okay then uh-... here we go. Thank you.”

“I think I hear people coming. I need to change back before any of those guards see two of you. Glad you enjoyed getting to hug a squishier version of yourself. I must feel like a marshmallow. Oh wait, I think my partner is gonna kill me if I leave her waiting any longer.”

“Haha~ I guess we both are going to get our ears chewed off by ssome people. It wass very nice getting to meet and talk to you Mayday, and I hope to see you again! Just… don’t take it to heart if I end up having to assk your name again or… worsse okay? Oh- and if you meet the people from the ssupport group… tell them i sssaid hi.”

“Will do, you better stay safe then, and don’t you dare end up regretting your choice, you got that! Enjoy your new life, and hopefully it won’t just be within a zoo someday. If you ever need to ask my name again, then I’ll be sure to ask yours as well. I look forward to meeting you again Aria the lamia.”

“Yes, I will do my besst to do that. I look forward to meeting you again too, Mayday the Mimic.”

* * *

“Abi, I’m back!”

“Oh my god where were you! I called like eight times! I thought something might have happened to you!”

“Sorry, sorry, I got caught up in a weird situation, I met a new friend I guess. You’d like her. she was really nice… Ok, yeah I’ll make it up to you. Really sorry for making you worry like that. Let’s go out to eat. This place kinda sucks. What about that sushi place you wanted to go to a couple months ago! I’ll pay for it.”

“You seem awfully cheery all of a sudden

“I just figured out who I am. That’s all.”

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Start - Prev - Next

Hey, hope you enjoyed what I think is the longest chapter by far. Normally I try to stick with two pages of text to get something that most people can keep their attention on. Not really possible here.

I'd like to take this time to thank @ariathelamia for collaborating with this chapter. She's so cool and you should go follow her right now. Do it right now. Do not finish reading this part until you double check you are following her and reading her Lamia HRT story!

Anyway, I'd also like to point out the cameos/mentions for Tiger HRT and ??? HRT by @tigergirltail and @home-sweet-hive, respectively. Both are extremely good and give me the inspiration to continue writing this story every single day. This story would have probably stopped around the fifth or sixth part without them. So you should go read those stories right now as well. Do it. Seriously though, thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day.

-Navi

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315

@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop

[befemininenow]

Don’t you wish to come out so pretty and en femme? Make your wish come true. Come out as trans, take HRT, and let femininity change you on the outside.

*Illustration belongs to Robot D-17.

[livingshredder]

TIME: 23:41, 11 June 2075

LOCATION: FOREST DISTRICT, FIELDS OF GLASS, ENDLESS LINES

Somewhere in Proxima, rain fell against large, clear glass windows, as VRT-X7 - a Class-4 mobile Shard unit - wrapped its scaled arms tightly around the lombax laying next to it under the soft covers, her warmth a contrast against its colder synthetic body.

She wasn’t sleeping, not yet. It sensed she was hesitating - had something she wanted to say.

"Hey... Vertex?"

"What's up?"

"Uh... so... I've been reading up on Proxima culture. Heard you had a process for... integration."

"Yeah? What about it?" X7 sensed there was something up with her. Almost a hint of nervousness, or perhaps excitement. Still, it waited, listening.

"Well, uh... I don't know how to tell this to you, so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say it. Vertex, I fucking hate my organic body. You know it, god knows I know it. So - I want to know. I want to know if I can go through with it."

The android faltered, taken aback - the expression of surprise visible on its face and LEDs. "Cay... you do know what that'd do to you, right? Shedding your organic body? Becoming a machine? You couldn't revert. To what you were before, I mean."

She nodded. "Yeah. I suppose it's a bit silly to think about. I've had this body for so long, it's all I know. But it sucks in so many ways. I've seen you - watched you - you don't have to deal with any of the pain."

"...You're really sure you want this?"

"Yeah. Please, Vertex. I know. I need it."

"Okay," the android replied. Holding her, it squeezed her tighter. It knew from her tone she really did mean what she said. "As long as you're okay with it. That's the main thing. How about we give it a few days - let you think it over?"

"Sounds good. Thanks. I'm sorry for dumping this all on you right now - I just needed to say it."

"It's fine, you're okay," Vertex said. And then it gently kissed the back of her neck.

“A-ah. Thanks, unit. You’re a great friend.”

Contented, the two slowly drifted into their respective thoughtspaces - the lombax into sleep, and X7 into standby mode.

[mysteriousmaninthesmoke]

Next - Latest

SOOOOO..... I have been seeing animal HRT show up on Twitter a lot in the trans community because of @ayviedoesthings little dragon comic so I thought "Hey why don't I join the fun." But there are two problems.

I'm a straight cis mostly white guy and

I AM HORRIBLE AT DRAWING ANYTHING THAT IS NOT A ROBOT!

SO I DECIDED! ah to hell with it I never cared about my masculinity, I am a being of ADHD, autism, OCD, AND CHAOS! FATE GAVE ME A MALE FORM TO EXIST IN!! I WOULDN'T GIVE A FLYING FLIP IF TOMORROW IT GAVE ME A FEMALE ONE!!! and also I'll just do it in a written story. but I am not doing someone going through the whole HRT process. 1. because I would probably be very grim describing it and 2. my brain won't stop thinking about what would happen if the military had access to a drug that would turn their soldiers into animal soldiers. SO HERE IS

PROJECT CHIMERA

Part 1

General Samuel grumbled as he rode the elevator down. If it was up to him he would have never approved this project. If it was up to him he would have never tested this on former soldiers. If it was up to him he would have gone with the doctor with the German-sounding name instead of putting the cryptic scientist who somehow knew about the project and contacted the government about being in charge. And if it was up to him he would have never would have never put himself as the one to be reviewing this project. As the elevator stopped and the doors opened Sam saw a man in a lab coat waiting for him. "Ah, General. So nice of you to visit us." said the man. Sam assumed this was the scientist. Doctor Thánatos. "Come in, Come in. I got something big I want to show you." The scientist turned around and quickly walked down the hallway. As Sam walked down the hall with the scientist, he noticed big cells to his sides with humanoid beasts in them with the names of the occupants by the cell, one of whom he recognized. Sergeant Thorn, one of the best hand-to-hand fighters he knew, before she lost her legs and an arm in an explosion. But now it looks like she was more than a fighter, she was a beast. Not only were her legs and her arm back, but she now sported green scales and a long tail. She resembled a female version of the villain the lizard. Suddenly Thorn jumped towards him, causing him to step back. her claws struck the reinforced glass wall that divided them. She let out a guttural laugh. "Ah, it's nice to see a familiar tasty face." She said licking her teeth "What's wrong soldier. Don't you know time changes people?" Sam was shocked. This was not the Thorn he knew he knew. She was tough, but she would always rather make friends than start a fight. "What's wrong captain. Not happy to see old friends captain." Said a voice behind him. Sam quickly turned around and saw in front of him a creature with dark black feathers covering its body, razor-sharp claws for feet and hands, and giant black-as-night wings sprouting from its back. "Oh sorry is it General now?" It said from a sharp-beaked mouth. Sam turned to look at the nameplate. Pilot O'hares. Sam knew him. One of his old drink buddies. He had heard that he quit the Air Force when he crashed his favorite jet, one he had gone on so many missions with, saying he would never fly again. "Ah, Ignore them. They aren't important right now." Sam turned to the scientist who was at the end of the hall by a big metal door. He was about to question what he did to his old friends when he noticed something. Three empty cells, one of them having more dust than the other. Doctor Harris, Private Gorgonzola, and Private Tompson. "I got some questions for you egg head. Why the hell are these people in cells, Why the hell are three of them empty, AND WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THEM!" The General yelled angrily "I was told they would look more human like this far into the project and not like animals. They also shouldn't be acting like ones too." The scientist only let out a laugh. "Oh I will answer the first and third questions but I will only answer the second once you see what's behind these doors. Now the cells are for ours and also for their safety. The normal drug that excuse of a doctor is selling is quite too slow, so with some modifications, I was able to speed it up, though it does seem to increase a person's animalistic instincts. Still, I see that as an improvement. My version is much more suited for the battlefield." The scientist pressed some buttons on a keypad and the metal door opened. "Now let me show you my personal project."

This is part 1 and part 2 will be out soon

[transfemchem]

SUPERHEATED STEAM HOT TAKE:

The people who enjoy wearing surplus military equipment, particularly gas masks, are only a few YouTube videos, a Tumblr account, and some HRT from realizing that they have a drone/doll kink (Which is based as fuck, actually).

“Oh, you like wearing a funny standardized outfit that makes you look less human? You enjoy having your face covered up and your breathing restricted? You enjoy the idea of being seen as a regimented, standardized object? Do you feel uncomfortable in your own skin and want to become something less human? Sure. Unrelated question: if you had a button that would turn you into a military robot with someone to order you around-“

[zenless-zideblog-zero]

ZZZ sexuality headcanons

Because everyone else seems to do it.

~Phaethon Sibs~

Wise: Biromantic (slight preference for women) Pansexual, but like Theater Kid Bi/Pan. He IS LGBT+, but he's so dramatic about it the only people he ends up falling in love with are those with big dramatic reveals and backstories (Lycaon, Caesar, ETC.)

Belle: Demi on both accounts. She finds herself falling for girls more often but to be fair, an inordinate amount of the people she's around are Girls.

She has some Trans Vibes™ to me, but also just as likely to be cis.

~The Cunning Hares~

Nicole: Likes Women, and Certain men. Aromantic, but willing to be in a romantic relationship.

Anby: Sex positive Asexual, Panromantic. She only recently figured this out since she escaped her mysterious past.

Billy: Okay, him being a Robot, even a sapient one, makes the whole Sexuality/Romanticism thing weird to consider, but given the fact he has some kind of attraction to Monica that seems to be deeper than an emotional infatuation, so like. Straight? But also I reserve the right to change this in the Future.

Nekomata: Okay, as a bisexual it's hard not to make everyone like both men and woman as a form of projection, but also. Shooting her with the Bisexual Beam™.

~Belobog Heavy industries~

Koleda: Pansexual Demiromantic.

Grace & Anton: I am putting these two together because I cannot begin to fathom what is going on inside these People's heads. Should either of them have a sexual and/or romantic partner, they won't care what their partner is, in a way that is impossible to distinguish between Bi/Pan/Omni/Etc and Asexuality.

Simultaneously, I can also see them both being DEEPLY Homosexual, OR in the vein of "HRT Hit me like Freight Train" trans, but not both gay and trans.

Ben: Either the straightest man ever or the least flamboyant gay man in history, because on one hand he's a Bear (Heavyset Hairy Man) and a Bear (Furry) but also he's the accountant, which means he likely was in Business classes in college. I have never met a gay person good at math.

~Victoria Housekeeping~

Lycaon: I think he is like, pan/Omni/etc, but he's so deeply uncomfortable with being open to those he doesn't know he seems like he's demi.

Rina: Again, as a bisexual it's hard not to make everyone like both men and woman as a form of projection. But also, *Bisexuality Beam*

Corin: She really hasn't put much thought into it, but to seem 'normal' her kneejerk reaction to such a question is to claim that she's straight, even though she's still very much figuring herself out.

Sapphic, with unclear feelings towards men.

Ellen: (BisexualProjection.TXT) Sapphic, but Demi with guys, sort of like how Nicole is described.

~Criminal Investigation Special Response Team~

Zhu-Yuan: Comfortably Pan, terribly single.

Qingyi: Same thing with Billy where it's different because she doesn't have "Organic" Impulses, but also she's lesbian.

Jane Doe: She's so deep into the "Flirty Femme Fatale" Persona that she's forgotten what her actual preferences are. When is the flirting real, and when is it a ploy? If it was real would it actually be for this Guy/Girl?

She lands somewhere between Lycaon and Corin's deals in this way. I don't Think it's that clear to her, let alone to anyone else. She just needs to be allowed to be honest with others to be true to herself, and figure it out again.

Seth: Sex-Neutral Ace, Panromantic. He WILL Cuddle you after and he WILL Make you breakfast in the morning.

~Sons of Calydon~

Caesar: Bi, heavily leaning towards men because that's mostly what she can find in her romance stories.

Lucy: (BisexualProjection.TXT) As a revolution against her dad, she went HARD into being a lesbian, but the freedom and kindness provided by the Sons have let her really consider her options. She does like women a LOT, but sometimes ... she wouldn't mind a guy treating her like the princess she wants to be.

BUT TO BE CLEAR. She is a Disaster Lesbian for Caesar specifically. Caesar is basically the pinnacle of Sexual Attraction to which she bases all other potential partners against. She does not realize this and it is part of the reason she fights Caesar so much because of the Weird Feelings™ She gets.

Burnice: Literal Flaming Homosexual. The MOST Lesbian. If the bad word for gay (F**) didn't already have the hitorical context for it's existence, Burnice would be the origin of it.

Piper: Also a lesbian. She had a wife ten years ago, but they've divorced. This cannot be surprising to anyone.

Lighter: GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY-

~Misc.~

Soukaku: A Child. Do not bother.

Soldier 11: A Good Soldier's only love is for their country, and their only marriage is to the code by which they live!

The amount of Psycho-sexual issues this Woman will have if she ever uncovers her own personhood will be Deep and Troubling. and HOT.

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 2 – The Appointment

I’m there. The appointment that determines everything. The first time I’ve knowingly met a shifter face-to-face – even if she is a notorious gatekeeper.

She’s been questioning me for a while already. But her latest question just makes me grimace. I don’t think she’s taking me seriously.

“I already have to put up with prejudice,” I say. “I’m trans.”

“This isn’t the same,” she says. “You think this is the same? Do you have any idea how humans treat us?”

“Yes,” I say, “and it is the same.”

Her cables twitch, like a cat’s tail when it’s agitated. She’s in robot form, all sharp edges and wires, and her voice is tinny. I’d heard she doesn’t like being humanoid, and this is as close as she’ll go, but did she have to make herself look so intimidating? Unless she’s doing it on purpose—

“I think you just want to solve your gender problems,” she declares. “I’ve seen it all before. There are human ways to do that. Get hormones. Get surgery.”

“I’m already doing all that,” I say. “This is more—”

She cuts me off. “You’d stay in human form most of the time anyway, wouldn’t you? – I know your type. Why waste our gifts on you? You’re just a desperate human trying to solve your human problems. You demean us by being here.”

“No!” I say. “I think about this all the time. I dream about it—”

“Not good enough.”

“It hurts so much, knowing there are people like this and I’m not—”

“Not good enough!”

“I need this – I’ve always needed this—”

“Not good enough! Not good enough! Not good enough!”

She’s risen up on her cables, filling the room. I back away. If she would just give me a chance to explain!

“Why would you want to be like us at all?” she roars. “Why would you give up your humanity? Why should I give you anything, you disgusting bag of meat?”

“Because it’s what I am!” I yell. “In here!” I point at my heart. “I’m not giving up anything! Fluidity – change – the ability to be anything— One fixed form isn’t enough. It could never be enough. You don’t know what it’s like, being stuck— You can give me what I need. What right do you have to say no? You want to know why? – there is no why! This is what I am!”

* * *

Silence. After a while, she nods.

“And so we get to the truth of it,” she says, all the anger gone. She smiles. I blink away tears. She sinks back down, and somehow all the lines of her body soften. “Maybe you aren’t so human after all. Not in any way that matters.”

She twines her cables together into a hand, and holds it out to me.

“We can work with that,” she says.

She’s saying yes?

I take her hand. But I’m still reeling. If it’s truth she wants: “You did this on purpose!” I accuse. “You were trying to make me angry. You didn’t have to say those horrible things.”

She only shrugs. “Would we have got to the core of it if I was being nice?”

Then, on a flash of intuition: “You’d already decided, hadn’t you? This was just one more test.”

“We know what to look for,” she admits. “You would never have got this far if we weren’t confident, based on what you’d already said. But we had to know how you would react under pressure. If you had backed down, what would that say?”

I shake my head. What if I’d been having a bad day, and hadn’t had the energy to argue?

But she just smiles again. “My colleague outside will give you your medication. Next time we meet, I hope, will be on better terms. Sister.”

I leave. I did it! But when I’m a shifter – and I get to say that now, I really get to say that! – I promise myself I won’t hoard what we have. I won’t be as callous as her.

First | Previous | Next

This is the part that inspired the entire story. I had a dream like this, once, where I had to defend my right to be a shifter from someone horrible. Yes, it was a trans allegory, yes, I was imagining having to defend myself from terfs – but I was surprised by just how strongly I felt what I was saying. I yelled that last 'this is what I am' so hard I woke myself up...

...and the rest of the story grew from there!

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@aiden-nevada @avery-victoria-winterlight @leahnardo-da-veggie @mint-and-authoress @sandyca5tle

@scrubbinn @wuwojiti

[soxxonfoxx]

Not to make the discourse™ breach containment, but I’ve been seeing a clip going around on twitter of the Animatrix, specifically a clip from the short “The Second Renaissance (part 1)” where an android woman is brutally murdered for being a “fake” woman. All of the comments are fucking dipshit rightoids talking about how it's not a trans allegory and is instead just a clip of a robot being murdered. I’m so fucking sick of this shit. I’m so fucking sick of people not having basic media comprehension skills, and that's the fucking charitable interpretation. In reality, I believe that most of the people cheering this on are well aware of the clip's theming and support it. Frankly, I find this behavior disgusting. I’m so tired of living in fear. I’m SO tired of having to hide myself. I’m so tired of worrying that this will be me. I’m an American trans woman in an extremely red part of an extremely red state; I will be assaulted or worse if I present publicly. My state government treats me like I’m a criminal for just existing. Getting HRT is almost impossible in this state, if you’re lucky enough to find a doctor that will prescribe HRT, you then have to find a pharmacy that will fill it. Failing that, where I live you will, you must turn to the grey market and DIY your HRT. This is what they want. No, actually, they want you dead, and just like the clip from that movie they will fucking cheer and applaud your death the whole time, all while saying “What's the problem? It was just pretending to be a woman anyway.” Fuck. That. Shit. I am here. I am not fucking going anywhere. Fuck you. Fuck your transphobia.