#hq nice spice

[rebo-chan]

Okay so I make a lot of canon-adjacent posts. *gestures at my food post* very canon very important very informative. But my heart is full of whimsy and magic and sugar and spice and everything nice.

Today I wanted to talk about some of my hcs that I have regarding Tsuna and Reborn. Shit I just completely made up ^v^ I'll do five each to not make this a long post again rkehns.

Tsuna:

Grows up to really like coffee like his mentor, but could never really stand straight espresso. From my food post research, I saw that he is a snack food fiend. So, I think he's the type to enjoy lattes, frappuccinos, and mocha. What I'm saying is that he walks into Vongola meetings with a iced coffee and he stress-drinks it for the sugar rush.

Good with kids! I don't think he wants kids of his own, because he has enough of those, but he's the perfect balance of playful and strict. I do think though, if he did become a parent by some accident, he'd be the stricter one of the two. Mom is gonna be the fun one and Dad is the one that brings crazy things around you, but tries to put you to bed at 8pm.

Still a bit of a dumbass as a mafia boss. The moment he found out he has to give salaries to people and try to tax that shit and file it with their IRS but also do the calculations himself, since technically he shouldn't show that information to Gokudera or anyone else that will know how to Math. He lives each paycheck day in fear that he will wake up the next morning and get arrested for fraud.

Actually bars anyone from bringing in pets to Vongola HQ. Believes they have their hands full with their box animals. "No, Yamamoto please we can't keep the box of stray puppies lets take that to a shelter -" "Gokudera, I see that you have a kitten in your pocket where.. where did you get it.." "Hibari.. Carry on, ignore me :)"

Has developed noise-cancelling ears. Doesn't hear the screams anymore. An ally family will comment on the noise at Vongola HQ and Tsuna will be like "..wdym? :o do you hear something?" Look around and will completely ignore Fuuta and I-Pin strapping Lambo to a medical desk as they are threatened by Bianchi, who is putting on sterile gloves and getting the scalpel. The silence though? The silence scares him. (WHAT A SOMBER LINE TO LEAVE OFF ON)

Reborn:

Super good with the ladies. I know this is something said in the story, but I mean the type that has the whole casual flirting with no weight to it thing down. But, also a little bit standoffish, like you'll never really get to know him this way. It's very strategic, but he does it for fun!!

Tries to teach Tsuna how to hide a body on multiple occasions, in case he ever needs it, but mostly to torment Tsuna. "You can't incinerate all your enemies to ash everytime, it'll get really obvious after awhile. You have to spice it up. Now, put on these gloves. I have someone for us to use" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE SOMEONE?"

I've said this one before, but it deserves saying again! I've always believed that pre-curse, his cosplay skills had real use! It was something he would use to sneak into buildings into or seduce who he needed to, before he brings the gun to their head. Very comfortable in skirts, dresses, wigs, makeup, etc. Wears his new identities like a second skin.

He snickers and sneers and smirks his way throughout the series (or does a lil maniacal evil laugh), but I bet his real laugh, uncursed, is deep and low. Something he keeps just in his throat, not loud at all. A softened version of his smirk on his face, pleased and relaxed. If you weren't paying attention, you'd miss it as he flips back into his regular demeanor.

LOVES judging things. Always the referee in their games (Snowfight!). Taste-testing (Mochi chapter!). Anything. He's judgmental and you WILL hear his opinion. I fully believe in the three criminal brothers episode, where Nana gets him coffee beans from a shop, he gets straight home afterwards and stands on the counter with his hands on his hips as it brews. He was prepared. Tsuna buys new snacks so Reborn opens all of them to take a bite and decide which one he likes best before taking it, leaving Tsuna with a bunch of opened bags. Ranks the guardians on obscure shit just to get them riled up "Most likely to win at a dance competition in a chicken suit" and he'll put Yamamoto above Gokudera just to watch him fume. A villain. I love him.

OKAY EVERYONE, THAT'S ALL I'LL DO FOR TODAY. Thank you for reading this far I hope you enjoyed reading it. PLEASE give me your hcs, I'd love to hear them. I need a lil pick me up c: It can be any character. Someday, I might do hcs for the other charas too. I think.. a lot about these guys. OKAY THANKS BYE !!!

[swiftyangx12]

I know it’s still Summer, but think of the Fall/Autumn activities with Miguel!

Imagine that Fall/Autumn finally comes around and Spider![Reader] convinces Miguel to join them for a Pumpkin Picking activity back in their dimension. Just two Spiders at a farm where they can pick their own pumpkins and other sorts of gourds for the season. If it was around October and close to Halloween, they get to have a Pumpkin carving date.

[Reader]: Miguel, check out this design I carved.

Miguel: Looks nice. How about this one?

[Reader]: Honey, I don’t want to be mean as in all honesty, but I think you mutilated this one.

Miguel: Told you I’m not the creative type.

[Reader]: It’s alright. Oh! We can create a murder scene with the pumpkins. Yours is perfect as the unfortunate victim.

The two would display their art pieces at the front door and also created the homicide scene for Miguel’s pumpkin, nicknaming him “The Serial Carver”.

Imagine both Miguel and [Reader] (in their regular clothes instead of the usual suit) on a coffee date. It would be a miracle that this man finds the time for just a day off. [Reader] would order a Pumpkin Spice latte (If that isn’t your drink of choice, I apologize. You can think of your favorite beverage for Fall) with an Earl Grey cupcake (Again, I apologize if you dislike Early Grey, think of your favorite sweet treats) and Miguel with his usual Black coffee. Sometimes sneaking some bites of [Reader]’s pastry.

Imagine both Spiders had a movie night together and [Reader] thought of playing a classic horror movie. Got some Autumn-themed snacks and some warm drink in adorable mugs, then start the film. Fast forward, Miguel and [Reader] realized the cliché tropes were so outdated.

[Reader]: I forgot how stupid these characters are. Grab a weapon to knock out Ghostface.

Miguel: *Chuckles* Y’know it’s just a movie.

[Reader]: I know, but you would do the same.

Imagine one cold Autumn morning, Spider![Reader] had to spent the night at Miguel’s place due to catching up on some work at HQ and it was late. When they first wake up, Miguel isn’t next to them, but the warmth of his side is still fresh. The bedroom felt a little chilly causing [Reader] to shiver and had to grab a comforter to wrap themselves up, exiting the room only to smell freshly brewed coffee, following the scent back to the kitchen. Then as they arrived at the area, Miguel set up their mug with their favorite biscuits and already drinking his while reading some reports on his holographic screens. Miguel noticed them, greeting a “Mornin’” at his partner. They shuffle to their seat and propped up, unravel the comforter enough to grab their mug. [Reader] takes slow sips and sigh as it warms them up. The two enjoying a quiet yet relaxing time before heading to their chaotic jobs.

Then imagine in the future, Miguel and [Reader] are married with kids. During a late Halloween afternoon, the couple are taking their kids out for trick-or-treating around Nueva York. I can see them having two children and undoubtedly, one of them would dress up like their Papi (Spider-Man) as they see him as their role model (may be a high chance the kids would inherit powers from both parents). After trick-or-treating around the neighborhood, the kids went to bed while both Miguel and [Reader] finally get their sweet Halloween treats (if you know what I mean).

Call me crazy, but I’m already feeling the Autumn spirits. I’m a Fall/Winter person after all.

(I know I should be working on the Villain!Miguel x Hero![Reader] fic, but I need to get these brain-rotting thoughts out of my head.)

[Tagged]: @lazyjellyfish300 @mrsoharaa @greensagephase @queenoftiddies @hao-ming-8

[inkybinkyboink]

@salenrooz​ BET YO

im a SUCKER for scent headcanons i dont even care if its weird

jimmy/saul: k so separated the two for obvious reasons. saul absolutely smells like the worst male cologne in existence. like it’s so strong to the point where it just smells like chemicals. jimmy on the other hand? idk he looks like a clean linen bastard. like it would make sense if it was like the opposite right? like i feel like he doesnt smell like anything, like he smells like fresh laundry and the nail salon he has his office in yknow?

kim: ok ok ok so. kim grew up in what im assuming to be wasn’t the super cleanest house? like pet smells, cigarette smoke, dirty dishes and takeout boxes left on the counter. and i feel like when kim grew up she wanted to become her own person and that includes the way you smell. so i feel like she smells like rose petals, the muted smell of like,,an office filled with paperwork, you know what im talking about, please you have to, and cigarette smoke, because no matter how hard she tries, a part of her will always be stuck in the past.

mike: bruh ok uh like clean laundry, but more muted??? like an old man who lives alone, and he sits in his chair all day watching movies, but he also smells like motor oil and gunpowder and soil. kaylee always thinks it’s just because he goes on hunting trips, and no one ever thinks that it could possibly be because he’s out working for a drug kingpin every day.

howard: like lavender and burts bees hand salve. please i know thats weirdly specific but i dont know what else nails the whole “living natural” more than burts bees and lavender. also slightly like chlorine. though, near the end, maybe more like restless sleep, coffee, and salt.

gus: heres the thing. it depends. i think gus has become very very good at catering himself differently depending on who he’s around. so, if he’s just “gus the los pollos restaurant owner” probably just like old spice shampoo and deodorant. simple. humble. but if he’s “gustavo fring drug kingpin visiting madrigal hq/ cartel connections” then he’s probably wearing just the right amount of cologne, like bergamot or teakwood, something citrus-y.

nacho: like motor oil and leather from working in his dad’s shop, but i feel when he’s at home or if it’s like just him it’s a lot of floral scents, mostly from the girls, but also partly his own doing. not that he uses perfume necessarily, but he’ll light a candle to get the weed smell out of the air and it’s almost always some type of flower. usually rose, or gardenia or something not too overpowering, but still nice. mostly he just smells good, but like,,,not in a comforting way, in a hot way. yknow?

lalo: it’s been like. 2 months and im not over how this bitch would smell. ive said it once and ill say it again, i have and will never meet lalo salamanca because he isn’t real, but the way he smells gives me dysphoria bc you know it’s really good and vv masculine. his grandfather used to burn palo santo because he claimed it helped with headaches. lalo never saw any merit to the claim, but he liked the smell, so when his grandfather passed away he nicked the rest of the burning wood and now his own house just kind of constantly smells like palo santo. has a tendency to use really woodsy scents when it comes to like shampoo and stuff, and he usually smells like spices or cooking oil or something. good god i love him i wanna give him a hug.

chuck: i felt bad leaving him out. chuck smells like plastic and gasoline and like,,,a library in a really weird way. im not saying its good or bad, im just saying it is. kind of probably constantly smells like somethings burning but its not. its just the wires he recklessly tore out of the wall. 

bonus!

skyler white: there needed to b more women in this post ok brba and bcs are really bad for the bechdel test and it makes me mad!!! anyways, i think skyler would smell good yo! like god dude idk like she smells comforting in the same sense that your mom was comforting as a kid, and she smelled like home yknow? 

lydia rodarte-quayle: the same paper scent kim has but stronger. also like herbal teas and cinnamon. and coffee. shes not one to like douse herself in perfume or whatever, but i dont think shes beyond indulging in an expensive fragrance yknow what i mean? lydia smells good but also you can tell she’s rich when she walks by you.

[extreme-neutral]

bad news, mustache, I don't know how to draw you, so you'll have to go.

FH: Rebirth version of Ricardo Ortega.

Modified version of the last one *smh*.

Don't mind my babbling on him and Cy in Rebirth under the cut.

Talking vague about spoiler-ish stuff just in case.

Good thing there is an actual time line on this. Let's see:

Upon capture Cyrus’ first feelings wouldn’t be anger at Ortega for not coming for him. In his head, as usual, he fucked up and now Ricardo’s suffering over a lost friend (sure Cy has low self-esteem, but he’s not daft, he knows how attachment works, he knows Ortega would hurt over both Anathema and him). So self-bashing is the first resort.

It would be various types of feelings after that going in circles. From fear over whether they told Ortega who Cy was, to anger over no one coming for him, to shame over not telling Ricardo the truth.

So when he escaped, Cyrus decided he’s not bothering Ortega who seemed to have moved on and good for him. He missed Ortega tho. A lot.

So meeting in the diner was… nice. And scary. Cause Cyrus physically can’t outright lie to Ortega.

Cyrus should’ve been annoyed for being dragged to HQ to help the team (god knows, I’m still pissed at the “Omg, my best friend who I thought dead for 7 years, you are alive! C’mon, I have a job for you!” behavior), but Cyrus was a) terrified b) too used to the role of a tool

So he couldn’t push back, and annoyance for being used like that came later. Which he showed during their next meeting. But still gave the bastard a hug. Couldn’t help it.

Never the less, walk in the park lead to an argument (fuck, I love that scene) and even though Cyrus simmered down, he gave Ortega nothing and left. Because let’s be honest, any info he’d give at that point would lead to even more questions, that would compromise Cy’s secrets.

Behind the secrets lies the truth and there are two possible outcomes to it:

being accepted for who he is, which sounds nice and wholesome

the only person he cares about turning away from him

And the later one would be absolutely unbearable. Just thinking about it brings about so much terror. To the point he’d literally die first before risking seeing the actual outcome on that coin flip.

Can’t see Cyrus going anywhere close to the big truth around Ortega. He'd rather just stay away.

Cy’s secret crush is such spice when he has to interact with Ortega through Eden. For Cyrus to see what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Ricardo’s interest, with (almost) no obstacles in the way...

He doesn’t like that he has to be in someone else’s body for it though.

One thing for sure, he doesn’t feel the persistent fear around Ortega when he’s in Eden. So fighting Ortega in earnest was… cathartic.

Plus, no confusion, where they stand. He was just an enemy. And a good fight. The only one who posed a problem.

Too bad Ortega is a stubborn bastard. Being free of some of the basic fears, Cyrus didn’t hold back.

Neither in combat nor in words. A moment of hesitation lead to a heartfelt monolog. Which brought Cyrus enough anger to finally knock the man out.

He regretted beating him up so badly, of course. Went to the hospital (to get another reason to beat himself over, I guess) and couldn’t help but give him a peck on the forehead. Which, apparently, gives Ortega too much room for assumptions.

I imagine it’s gonna get really complicated

if Ortega can help it

[fatalrosecreations]

Barbie World Set

Public Access 09/14

Patreon Download :D

SimFileShare Download :D

Finally finished this set and I am a little obsessed with how things turned out! This is based off of the Barbie World Music Video by Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice. 

IMPORTANT: Usually I wouldn't release something with improper lods but I just had too. The Spicy Romper has transparency, it is my first transparent project, when I did the lods as usual with he changes for transparency, things kept coming out super weird in game so in order to get it working nicely, I simply imported the LOD0 on to LOD2/3. For those that do not create, when you zoom out, a mesh cycles through Lods, the further away, the lower quality each lod should be. For these, it's not set up like that so the mesh file size is a little bigger. I am going to try to fix this BUT the mesh does work and is playable!

100% Meshes Made by Me

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[alwaysaskerurihan]

"Thank you so much for the compliments" they mutter as a touch of pink appears on their cheeks. "It's always a pleasure to share some good tea and homemade cookies !"

They pause as they look down at their fingers fidgeting with the fabric of their jacket. They smile dreamily as the memory comes to their mind.

"I used to cook these with my grandmother as a child. Sometimes with cinnamon, sometimes with other spices."

They sigh, but a warm smile soon brightens their face.

"For the gifts, well…This is not much, but it's the least I can do !"

*looking away as they blush in embarrassment*

"The three of you carry Humanity's hope on your shoulders after all ; a few tea blends or books will never be enough to reward your dedication !"

They fix a friendly gaze on the Captain.

"And don't worry about how expensive they may or may not be, Captain Levi. I've got more money than I need for myself & it's not like I have someone else to spoil anyway."

Getting up from their chair, they gather the empty cups, the saucers, teapot & spoons on a tray.

They now turn to face Erwin.

"Since you put me in charge of the food supply for the Survey Corps last year Commander, I was able to befriend some of our suppliers. So every once in a while, we can get extras or discounts. Please let me know if you need something special, I'll try to find it for you."

A pause.

They open their mouth, but pause again as if a bit reluctant to ask for something.

Finally they dare to speak.

"We barely visited the neighborhood since we moved to the new HQ & I plan to go horse riding in the woods nearby tomorrow morning. Would you like to come with me, if you're not too busy ?"

They grab their basket to hang it on their forearm & take the tray away.

"I must hurry up & wash the dishes before joining Nifa in the stables. I promised we would treat our horses to a couple of apples we saved yesterday."

They start to walk away, but turn briefly to smile at them.

"Thank you again for joining me for tea, I'm honored you spent some time with a simple soldier like me !"

Leaning to Hange with a big smile, they whisper in their ear cheerfully.

"Your hug was the most heartwarming hug I've ever had, thank you Squad Leader. I promise I'll tell you more about that botany book one day."

They resume heading back to the mansion.

"Enjoy the rest of your afternoon ! I'll be in the east aisle if you need me."

🍭 - anon

"We're the ones who owe you the thanks," Erwin insists, raising a hand to halt the anon's gratitude. "While I appreciate your thanks, it was a pleasure to join you for such a pleasant gathering."

Hange giggles at their boyfriend and pats his massive bicep. "Erwin always talks so formal. It's adorable," they remark. "But he's right. This was great." Their eyes have lit up at the mention of the ingredients. Already they are picturing the preparations and possible results of using other spices too. Unfortunately, they don't have a lot of time to make them but they are already wondering if they can convince Moblit to do it.

Levi remains quiet as the others thank the anon. His grey-blue eyes fix on the anon with a kind of curious wariness as they express their gratitude towards the trio's fighting abilities. "It's a nice sentiment but we cannot take all the credit for holding up humanity's hopes. There are many capable soldiers within the Scouts, soldiers we are fortunate to be able to count on."

"While that is true," Hange agreed, "I'd be quite happy to sit in a bit of the glory our lovely friend is giving us," they enthuse with a playful cackle that has Levi's eyes rolling. He nudges Hange's knee and their smile widens. "Don't mind Mr Bashful here." they say with a nod at Levi. "He's still adjusting to the Humanity's Strongest nickname. Bless him."

"Shut up. Hange."

Meanwhile Erwin is listening to the anon speak of their friendship with suppliers. "I see your generosity knows no bounds." he smiles up at them. "It would be much appreciated if you can get anything extra. There's not much we've been able to reward our soldiers with so this would be a good boost for them. So I will let you know, thank you."

Erwin considers the invitation with some thought. "A ride would be rather good. We are rather busy, however we may have some time." He eyes Hange and Levi with one impressive eyebrow raised.

Hange begins to smile brightly. "Hell yeah, I could go for a good ride out," they say.

Levi's eyes sweep around the area for a moment. "We could probably combine such a thing with a patrol," he suggests after a pause. "Four of us would be enough for a patrol squad," he adds.

"Indeed," Erwin answers, satisfied. "In which case, we'd be happy to come with you," he tells the anon.

Levi rises from the table. "Leave the dishes with me. I'll clean them while you attend to your duties," he insists, beckoning for the tray with his hands. "I have time to spare."

Hange frowns up at the anon. "Hey there's nothing simple about you being a soldier. You're an asset," they tell them. Their eyes light up at the heartwarming whisper and assurance of more knowledge. They take the chance to hug the anon again, this time far more fiercely. "Ah you are so lovable," they beam with a gentler squeeze. "And so squishy."

Levi eyes Hange disapprovingly. "Hange, let go before you break their spine."

"Relax, Levi."

The three of them watch the anon go with intrigued expressions except for Hange who is beaming after them with delighted eyes.

[l1ghtn1ngstr1kez]

sorry for not posting in a while! i feel like i just woke up from a really long dream for some reason

ANYWAY. i ran into sonic at restoration hq today! we had a nice chat over lunch (i don't think i've ever seen a guy eat a spicier chili dog like good gaia i could smell the spice from miles away) and honestly that's been the highlight of my week lol

oh also i'm still having trouble coming up with a name for our shadow android friend so i'll be taking suggestions! no guarantees that i'll actually use any of the names you guys tell me but i need ideas

[clowneryandshenanegans]

alright here’s some I rly like and some I came up with :)

• Noirs first language was French after his parents were French immigrants, his mother taught him French before they died and then he learnt English (I came up with this one for a fic and did like 3 hours of research total)

• Miles has tried “spice training” Gwen so her white ass can handle spicy food

• Peter B is trans and he and MJ had Mayday through IVF

• They all have a Minecraft server with about 12 texture packs

• they have movie nights where one gets to pick the movie with a very loose set of rules: during one of these sessions a horror movie was picked and noir had a plate of pizza rolls thrown at his head after asking if anyone wanted anything while he was up, since his voice was very similar to the killer

• All of them HATE peppermint

• Hobie constantly uses the phrase “I don’t believe in concepts” and is the only one allowed to use it since he made the watch replica

• the watch has a ton of random features including but not limited to changing the wearers color to disguising features that especially stand out. (Usually used for spiders like noir and hobie, in case they need to do something stealth related or hide their color pallets/background popups when in other universes)

• Pavitr still calls miles “new guy”

• Peni and Margo went on a “ruining the hqs tech” spree after Gwen was sent back and recruited them. Miguel was pissed off and LYLA thought it was funny

• They’ve set up a “bitties protocol” on noirs watch that takes photos of his chest when fighting and sends them to the teens group chat. (Context: noir has a more muscular chest from Nazi-punching which led to nice tits jokes and thus the bitties protocol) Peni and Margo made the program, and LYLA was in on it and fully on board. Miguel was not. He was not happy when he found it. He was also not happy when learning it was originally used on him.

• Miguel and Ben Rielly are together and have adopted Lego Spider-man as their son and Spider-cat as their cat

• Spider Hatsune-Miku once did a show for the society, after which Gwen dragged Hobie to go talk to her and Spider-miku immediately pulled the “hatsune miku does NOT talk to British people!” line on him.

• as peni got older she looked more and more like her comic design, currently it’s about halfway

• all of them have had to replace doorknobs due to the enhanced strength the day they got it. Pavitr got chewed out by his Maya Auntie after.

• language differences are INSANE and so is the group Spotify playlist

• Pav and Peter are transmasc, Gwen is transfem, and Hobie is genderfluid

• noir and ham are aroace

• Margo somehow managed to get Miguel to pay all the spiders after a year

• most of them got super bendy so hide and seek game is peak

• floor (and walls and ceiling) is lave is PEAK

• all of them have fangs. This includes the horse.

• miles and Gwen have decided that they’re even after she went through his sketchbook and opened his figure and he ripped part of her hair out and have agreed no more of that (they both still feel bad about respective actions but won’t let the other apologize anymore)

I have a lot, if you couldn’t tell lmao

yeah this was just an opportunity to share them all so yippee :D

Guys reblog this post and give me your absolute favorite Spider-Verse headcanon(s).

It can be of any character (OR multiple characters). It could be silly, sad, stupid, hell it could make literally NO sense. Idc just GIMME SOME I WANNA HEAR EM!’ 🔥🗣️

[parasite-core]

Last night in pathfinder we slayed a dragon, destroyed a fossil golem from the edge of space, and finally killed Nazhena Vasillanova. The dragon was not the hardest of these fights.

@scarlet-the-girl

We started the evening with the party split.

Aenland and Nadya made their way back to the resistance base. He and Nadya had grown closer with their night out, and Aenland may be starting to develop feelings for the human ranger—although he is the *worst* at expressing them. So far his attempts have been to tell her she’s strong, which he felt was basically a confession of affection in and of itself, and telling her to get behind him in a fight when she was in danger so he could defend her.

Not long after, Edeya and Nestian were getting back from their mission breaking the mirrors that make Mirror Men. Nestian checked in briefly with Edeya to make sure she was alright since she’d said the man they’d seen in the mirror on running away was her father, Edeya admitted to being a bit shaky. She apologized for setting off the alarms, but Nestian didn’t bear a grudge. Nestian asked a bit about her family, and why she’d left. Edeya told him that she was scared of her parents, but they’d never actually hurt *her*, and that’s part of what scares her. She had a completely normal home life growing up. But she wasn’t allowed down into her dad’s laboratory. Too dangerous. Then one day she heard sounds coming from within, and she went and took a look, and she found a man strapped to a table with his face replaced with a mirror. She was so horrified that she packed up and left that same day. Then she almost froze to death in the woods of Irrisen—if she hadn’t met Snezhinka, who gave her magic, and her cold resistance. After that she left Irrisen, and she’d intended to never return. The two were both quiet and returned to the resistance base without much more to say after that.

Calio was the last to return, as he was still on a fun date with Greta. They finished watching the opera and then Calio suggested going out to a bar to top the night off with drinks, to which Greta agreed—laughing that they didn’t want any of what Nazhena had had though. They went to the Winter Wolf bar Greta frequented and had a nice topper of spiced wine. When she asked what he was up to tomorrow he told her that they were planning to slay the city’s dragon, to which Greta laughed at how ballsy they were and said Logrivich is a dick anyways. Greta told Calio that she was ready for a change. She’d had so much excitement in the short time she’d known him and seen so much illegal shit, she was pretty sure she didn’t even care about the law anymore. She wanted to come with him when they were done with what they were doing here.

Calio had known that eventually they were going to have to have a conversation about the truth of him not being a Winter Wolf. He decided he didn’t want to ruin a perfect date though, and told her he had something important to tell her in the morning, and that he’d leave the decision on whether to come or not up to her after that. She agreed, and said she’d meet him outside of the dragon Logrivich’s clock tower before they fought the dragon. Calio agreed—he wanted her to know the truth before she decided whether or not to help with fighting a whole ass dragon.

With Calio finally back at the resistance HQ as well, Solveig returned from her prayers over the cursed rapier Aenland had given her to look over—which she now did initially confirmed was cursed, and explained the curse to the party. Anyone who wielded the weapon who wasn’t strong willed enough would be unable to stop wielding the weapon. After a certain amount of time with the weapon in their hand, they would start to see allies as demons and be compelled to kill them.

With that explained, Solveig asked for a status update from each of us. She was happy with what we’d accomplished—but a bit concerned about the attention Calio had noted Nazhena had for her girlfriend, Bella. Still, Nazhena would, if all went well, be dealt with tomorrow.

The other thing she took interest in was that Nestian and Edeya said they’d found who created the Mirror Men. She said she would put out an assassination order on the man. Nestian quickly jumped in and said no, they shouldn’t do that. He said—in a rare moment of dishonesty for our bear companion—that the man had only been trying to protect his family, that he hadn’t known the extent of what he was creating until it was too late. And that something like this was inevitable to have been made by the Winter Witches, really, if not by him then by one of the others. They didn’t need to assassinate him. Solveig reluctantly agreed, and said he would be put on a list to capture instead.

With everything we’d done, Logrivich’s defenses were down. Solveig gave us three fireworks to set off to signal the resistance when we were done killing the dragon, so that they could rush out and the Grey Guard—the guardians of the rightful queen chosen by Baba Yaga, whom Queen Elvana was no longer—and the Resistance could kill the Winter Guard.

That evening Calio went to talk to Edeya in private. He told her the parts of the evening he’d left out telling the party and the Resistance—that Nazhena had recognized him and had a too-friendly chat. He told her about how he’d apparently introduced Radosek and Nazhena, and told her they were meant for each other. Edeya shook her head—what sort of person was he that he’d been in a position to confidently navigate being around the upper echelons of the White Witches and mock them to their faces? Calio laughed that off and asked if she’d ever met him. He told her about how Nazhena had toasted to his return to his position, to which Edeya said ‘welcome to the Winter Witches who don’t want to be Winter Witches club’. He wondered at how he could be a Winter Witch when his magic didn’t seem to be witch magic like Edeya’s—and he was a man, which were rarely Winter Witches, but Edeya said that sometimes important figures like certain Winter Wolves or other people with a great deal of power earn a position. That could be him.

The conversation moved to some parts of his past he hadn’t shared that put his memory loss into new context. Namely that when he lost his memory he’d been in a cave between Ustalav and the Realm of the Mammoth Lords, and had cut his hand on something, before hearing a voice say something he couldn’t understand. Edeya asked if it seemed like a voice-voice or a voice from on high, to which Calio shrugged and said he had no idea. Edeya asked how he came to—if he just suddenly remembered walking into town in Taldor, or what. Calio hesitated, as he’d been keeping this secret as he knew the kinds of conclusions everyone would jump to if he told them. But he told Edeya: he woke up in a grave, surrounded by dead bodies. Edeya asked exactly what he expected her to: if he was sure he wasn’t some kind of zombie. He confirmed he’d definitely gotten checked with detect undead since waking up. Also! He dug out the Pallid Crystal and showed it to Edeya. This wasn’t dark purple. It would be if he was undead. Edeya identified the crystal and asked shakily if he’d had that since he woke up. He told her honestly no, it just showed up in his room one day. She said that’s not much better. He added there was a threatening note attached.

Calio and Edeya talked a bit about their magic as well—Calio didn’t know where his magic came from, his parents weren’t magic users, and he hadn’t known how to use magic before his memory gap. Edeya said that meant he’d probably either picked up magic on the way to Irrisen, or while he was there—and if it was while he was there that was probably a very bad thing. Edeya on the other hand got her magic after meeting Snezhinka when she saved her life. Calio asked how that happened, so Edeya explained the same thing she had to Nestian, about how she’d left home and nearly died in the cold. Calio asked why she would have chosen to leave Irrisen when she had it made as a soon-to-be Winter Witch. Edeya gave Calio a truncated version of the story she’d given Nestian, about discovering the horrors of what the Winter Witches were doing. Calio didn’t really understand leaving the lap of luxury on moral grounds, but didn’t say so in so many words. He admitted to going to Edeya to talk about all of this because she’s more morally grey than Nestian and Aenland, so he’s more comfortable with her.

When they were done talking, Calio left. Nestian went to also talk to Edeya in private. He apologized for if he stepped on Edeya’s toes when he stepped in to protect her family. He just couldn’t stand by and let her family get assassinated. Edeya said she had complicated feelings about it—no, she didn’t want them to get assassinated either, they were her family. She was grateful to Nestian for what he’d done, and thanked him.

We rested for the night. Calio got scried on but has no fucking idea so who knows what that was about?

The next morning Solveig was on edge. The party surmised it had something to do with Bella. When they asked what was wrong, Solveig told them to be careful when fighting Logrivich, because he might have hostages.

The party headed out the next morning to Logrivich’s Clocktower

Calio broke off from the rest to talk to Greta. Greta greeted him, and noted it was about time to slay a dragon. Calio agreed—if she still wanted to after they were done with this conversation. Greta said that didn’t sound like a good conversation starter, and Calio agreed with her that it probably wasn’t. Greta asked if it was her or him. He told her that he’d mentioned the night before that their group hadn’t been entirely honest about everything while coming through the front gates. She asked what he was lying about. He took a breath, trying to prepare himself for the backlash, and told her the truth—that he was not a Winter Wolf.

She had a moment of confusion, looking him up and down, then the gears turned. She asked if he’d ever met a Winter Wolf with heterochromia, and he confirmed that one tried to assassinate them on the way to the city.

Greta asked to see what he really looked like, so Calio undid the Rimecloak’s spell. He watched her for her reaction, waiting for what he felt was the inevitable disgust.

Greta looked him up and down and then wanted to know why. Had it just been to get past the gate, had it been to manipulate her for this Revolution, why had he kept up the charade? Because he’s said the night before that this wasn’t all about the revolution, that they could have some time to just them.

Calio was…probably the most honest and vulnerable Calio has ever let himself be in front of another living creature. He told her that it *had* started with getting through the gate. But that wasn’t the reason he’d kept going with it. She remembered the gap in his memories. He hadn’t always looked like this. And no one had looked at him the way Greta had since he’d woken up. It was hard to give up. Especially because he was enjoying his time with her so much. So he’d put it off.

Greta said that, incase he hadn’t noticed, the Winter Wolves all look about the same in their human forms. And she thought he was still rather handsome. And she’d be a hypocrite if she got too mad about him being in different forms, all things considered. At least he’d told her about it fairly quickly. She realized then that they’d literally only known each other for 24 hours—it had been a very eventful 24 hours. She said she still wanted to come with him, if he’d have her, but he did have to take into consideration that she also wouldn’t look like this once they left town. Calio said that was fine. He’d already considered that, and it didn’t bother him.

With things patched up, Calio and Greta made their way back to the party. As they did, one of the mirrors in Calio’s possession began vibrating. Calio decided to answer it because he wanted to see who it was. He angled it so whoever it was would only see him. However it was Solveig. She was in the middle of something, and needed some backup. She asked if we could send one person to come assist her.

It was between Greta or Nadya. Aenland was confident he knew who we’d all pick to send so he said we should all say at the count if 3 who we were having stay. Aenland said Nadya. Nestian and Calio both said Greta. Aenland was confused, because Greta knew the city, but Calio argued that she didn’t know Solveig or the resistance so it made more sense for her to stick with them. Also she really wanted to help them to slay this dragon.

Nadya told Aenland not to worry—after all, Solveig had said she might get a shot at Nazhena from where she is, so if anything, she wanted to be the one to go. If she could get the first shot at Vasillanova, she would.

With that decided, the rest of us entered the Clock Tower.

The first few rooms we checked were deserted—the guards called elsewhere by the shenanigans we’d set up the night prior.

Then as we entered a larger room Nestian heard the sounds of children’s voices—captives, and the voice of their captor. Even Greta and Calio agreed that fucking with kids was a step too far, and whoever this was needed to go.

Calio had brought Reggie along even though she wouldn’t be able to fit up the stairs—the intention being to bring her with us to fight Nazhena afterwards, but Calio got a more fun pet after fighting the dragon (hint: it was a dragon).

I’ve started joking that Calio is a Pokémon trainer, and my GM has stated that Volo’s theme may in fact be on his playlist, so yeah, I’m just playing Pokémon with zombies while everyone else is playing Pathfinder.

When we went to attack the albino bugbear that was holding the children hostage, the children themselves got a surprise round—they scattered marbles at the bugbear’s feet and caused him to fall prone. So that was wonderful. Good for those kids.

Reggie turned around and started smashing a living ice troll that came up behind us, which Aenland finished off, and then Calio splashed acid on it to permanently kill its regeneration.

Nestian attacked the bugbear after it pulled itself off the ground, followed by Greta, who obliterated it with her axe.

The kids were able to direct the party to where the keys to their cells were after Aenland calmed them down a bit with his…everything. The kids couldn’t understand him because they spoke Skald, but he was weird and they liked him. The party rescued the kids and sent them to be looked after by the resistance. The kids told them there was one other girl who had been sent upstairs that they hadn’t seen since. They also warned the party about *two* dragons—one that breaths ice and one that breaths fire. They warned the party about an old witch who cooks for the trolls, and a ‘ghost made of cold’, which Calio identified as a cold variant Blast Shadow. And they said that the dragon had captured a princess, who only cries and sings. The party surmised this must be Bella.

With the key to the next floor in hand, the party went to the second floor. They got the drop on the Blast Shadow, and Calio used Command Undead on it to take control of it. He asked the undead’s name since he was an intelligent undead, and he called himself Evija. Calio told Evija to begin opening doors in the next room.

Once he opened the door leading into the old witch’s room, she didn’t immediately recognize him as a threat since he was her undead. Then Calio gave him the order to kill her. She had a moment of recognition. The Blast Shadow rolled a nat 1 and missed, then Granny Nan dimension doored out of the room and into the kitchen. Aenland heard the sound of teleportation and directed Calio to open the kitchen door. Calio did, and used Boneshaker to grab the old witch and pull her towards the door by her skeleton. He saw a look of recognition and fear in her eyes.

But not for long as Aenland shot her dead.

The fight wasn’t over however, as her oven was an evil living construct and was lunging at us. Nestian went to chop at it—and got chomped in return and grabbed in its mouth. Everyone who could came to his rescue—which mostly meant Aenland and Greta, as it turned out this thing healed from negative energy, so Calio was basically out of this fight. They worked together and Aenland helped thrust Nestian through the oven sword-first, destroying it.

They had found a locked door in the other room, and Calio took a key off Granny Nan and went to unlock it. He found inside the last child, a young girl who looked at him and in Skald asked if they were going to see Queen Elvana. At first he wasn’t sure what to do, as he thought the child had been brainwashed, but on taking in her body language he got the feeling she only wanted to leave this place and seeing Queen Elvana was the way she knew how. Calio gently told her that she didn’t have to worry about Granny Nan anymore, she had gone far away. She didn’t need to go see Queen Elvana anymore. He could tell her a safe place to go instead. So he directed her to the resistance as they had the other children. He got hugged by a tiny child in return, which he didn’t entirely know what to do with. But listen Calio might be a jerk but he draws the line at kids, you’re nice to kids. Maybe it’s entirely because he has his own trauma from when he was a kid and he projects it onto other kids and doesn’t want kids to be hurt as a result *but still*.

Once they had sent the girl on, Calio sat down infront of the body of Granny Nan and began casting Speak with Dead. He saw her soul leaving her body as his necromantic energy told hold—and then a spectral short sword pinned her soul in place, forcing it to remain and answer his questions.

‘How did you know me?’

‘I tried to take you as a child’

‘What did you do to me?’

‘I failed to kidnap you. Your parents got in my way.’

Calio had a brief flash of memories he’d repressed as a child, of an old woman grabbing him, and of his parents coming in and shouting and snatching him back and the woman teleporting away.

‘Was anyone else involved?’

‘Yes’

‘Who?’

‘Queen Elvana.’

With the fourth question answered, the soul was released from the grip of Calio’s magic, and the corpse slumped to the ground once again. Greta placed an arm around him—hesitated, then just placed a hand on his shoulder instead. She said it sounded like there was some shit in his childhood. He laughed it off saying what did they expect, this was Irrisen after all.

Calio was shaken and confused. He’d remembered *an* event in his childhood that was similar, but this hadn’t been it. He’d had no idea there had been another attempt to kidnap him prior that he’d blocked from his memories.

With more questions added than answers given, they continued up to the third floor. Edeya said she’d heard singing from the stairwell.

Nestian noticed a cell door, and retrieved the key from Calio. While Aenland threw copper pieces into the clockwork believing it would smash it into neat shapes, Nestian and the others went to meet Bella Belvorica.

Bella was wary at first, until the party told her Solveig sent them. She packed up and was ready to go, until she heard the dragon was still alive. She said she was going to wait right there until the dragon was dead, because she was worried if she left before then he’d just swoop down and snatch her up. We agreed to tell her when we were done slaying Logrivich.

We decided to try to sneak up onto the top floor where the white dragon awaited us. Calio sent Evija up first, and he was unnoticed. Calio followed, but when he went to steady himself against the ice ledge he slipped and cried out, alerting the dragon, who turned to face him, informing him that he’d made a grave error.

The dragon breathed a blast of icy breath at Calio and his undead—only Calio was effected, as Evija was immune to the cold. Calio sent Evija to attack the dragon, but the poor thing continued rolling in the single digits.

Aenland stepped up, having used spiderclimb to be in the wall by the trapdoor and ready to spring into action. He shot his arrows into the dragon, doing a good chunk of damage.

Calio followed up with a new spell he’d learned: Screaming Flames. The fire damage was minimal—but the wisdom damage from the screaming souls within the fire was debilitating.

Edeya followed up against his crippled will save with an Evil Eye, lowering his AC significantly as well.

Nestian came in and chopped at him with a mighty axe swing. Greta tried to reach the fight, but she didn’t have snow shoes on and outside of her Winter Wolf form she couldn’t quite make the distance due to the ice around Logrivich being difficult terrain.

The dragon lined us up—mainly focused on Calio for having burned him—and spewed an icy breath a second time.

He didn’t get a third.

Greta chopped into him with her axe, Calio twisted him from within with Boneshaker, and Aenland finished the job with three well placed arrows straight through his skull, throat, and heart.

The party raided the dragon’s hoard, healed, then set off the signal and also dropped the dragon’s body from the top of the clock tower for all to see—although Calio had plans for it once they went back downstairs.

The fireworks exploded in the symbol of a red rose, and chaos erupted in the streets and rebels and Grey Guards attacked the Winter Guard.

We ran downstairs to join the fray. Calio raised Logrivich (and renamed the animated bloody skeleton dragon Leviathan), and they ran to try to find where Nazhena had holed herself up.

The party received another call from Solveig. Calio answered. She told us that they’d gotten a shot at Nazhena, but she’d gotten away. They weren’t sure where she was—but they had a good guess. She had probably fortified the area around the Dancing Hut—her greatest prize. Solveig was going to need a volunteer to help her keep the Winter Guard off our backs. The party—even Calio—agreed that it should be Greta this time. Nadya deserved a chance at Nazhena after what she’d done to her family. Greta agreed to take Bella to Solveig. She told Calio not to get any ideas, before shifting into her wolf form and allowing Bella to ride her away from the party.

The party made a beeline for the Dancing Hut. When they were just down the street from it, they came upon a cafe where the people were still dining, strangely calmly. Calio and Aenland both noted that there was a man with silver hair and blue eyes—not the right shade to be a winter wolf—sitting drinking tea, and he had nearly invisible cords connecting him to all the other people at the other tables. Calio identified the spell he had cast as Flesh Puppet Horde—a very powerful Necromantic spell. So this was a very advanced necromancer.

The man greeted them cordially, and seemed pleased to see Calio. He approached Calio confidently. The others identified him as believing Calio owed him a debt. Calio didn’t catch his body language, and pulled away untrustingly when he reached out to him. The man recognized that Calio didn’t remember anything right now, and noted that he was probably running into a lot of people who did know him. Both of his hands were tattooed—one with Norgorber’s symbol and one with Urgathoa’s—and he held out the hand with Norgorber’s symbol for Calio to shake as he introduced himself. He gave a false name, but Calio immediately remembered the man’s real name. Keisuke—Master Keisuke.

Keisuke asked Calio for one thing. He wanted to know if he was still going to helped him find ‘her’. Calio immediately knew that he meant his cousin. Calio said due to his memory loss he couldn’t remember the reason why Keisuke was searching for her. Keisuke said she had something he wanted, and to reconnect, but most importantly—he walked over and whispered a single word to Calio: Mythic. Aenland managed to eavesdrop and hear, but didn’t understand the full implications.

Keisuke started to say he would meet them somewhere, then stopped and cursed saying that Xenthadon had that spot. Aenland immediately lost it, demanding to know what Keisuke knew about Xanthadon. He shot Keisuke. The necromancer sighed, and told Calio to tell his friends not to shoot him next time they meet, before they saw clocks in his eyes and he vanished. All of the people in the cafe slumped over dead with the cords severed—they hadn’t been alive the entire time, after all, any semblance of life had been provided by Keisuke.

Calio was shaken once again by an encounter from his past. The others identified a certain amount of genuine affection from Keisuke for Calio—something almost familial in nature. Nestian informed them that Keisuke was no human man—he had identified him as a kitsune in disguise while they spoke. So he was actually more similar to Nestian, being a large talking fox. Shezhinka had been spooked the entire time they’d been conversing with the necromancer kitsune.

However they still had a mission in front of them. Nazhena awaited them before the Dancing Hut.

The party gathered before a small army of trolls, winter wolves, frozen constructs, and two strange fiery fey who had come through a portal to try to reclaim the Dancing Hut in the chaos. In front of the hut, just behind the wall of bone where the White and Red Riders were impaled, stood Nazhena Vasillanova. She said we had ruined everything. She’d had big things coming and we’d torn them all down in a single night. She bet we were even the ones who had killed her Radosek. Calio laughed in confirmation and told her to say hello as he pulled the bloody skeleton that was what remained of Radosek Pavril from his bag of holding. Nazhena lost it, telling Calio she’d thought they were friends, but he was going to die with the rest of them.

Then she turned around and called out the guardian of the Dancing Hut, which she had taken control of. A Dominion Fossil Golem.

For context, we’re in book 2. Our Iron Gods party almost had a character almost die to a Dominion Fossil Golem in book *4* of that campaign.

We were absolutely terrified.

Nazhena began her Flight hex and placed herself behind the golem for protection. The golem moved closer to us—slowly and menacingly.

Nadya went after the nearest troll, while Calio sent Levi after the other troll, and followed up with a Boneshaker. Aenland finished off the troll Nadya had shut the regeneration off on.

The winter wolves and the ice constructs both breathed out deadly ice, mostly catching Nestian and Nadya (and Levi who was immune to cold). Nestian followed up against the nearest Winter Wolf.

Nadya slashed the second ice troll with the flaming axe, turning off its regeneration, and Levi finished it off. The constructs began trying to bash into the bloody dragon skeleton to shatter it, but Levi managed to withstand the assault. Calio went after the unharmed Winter Wolf with Boneshaker, pulling it away from Levi and Nadya slightly.

The fey approached and called out in a language none of us spoke, then attempted to use Crushing Despair on Nestian and Edeya, but both managed to shrug it off—albeit Edeya had to use one of her Hero Points.

Nazhena remained behind cover, flying along with her golem moving forward. As she did, she shot a spell at Nestian, trying to hit him with Phantasmal Killer. With the help of a Hero Point Nestian managed to come out the other side unscathed.

One of the ice constructs took a swing at Nadya and injured her. Aenland immediately zeroed in on that one and fired all of his arrows into it, damaging it far more severely in return than it had done to Nadya. At the same time Levi killed the final Winter Wolf and turned his attention to the two constructs. Calio healed his dragon with negative energy so it could keep up the assault.

As Nestian went to begin killing the fey, who they knew were lining them up for a deadly sonic attack, Nazhena broke her cover and flew around to hit Calio first with an Evil Eye hex that had been quickened via a special rod, then with the Suffocate spell. With his defenses weakened he had to use a Hero Point to keep from immediately suffocating and potentially dying on the spot.

The fossil golem finally got into range to attack, and slammed its fists down on Nadya. She managed to not begin getting petrified by it, but she took a massive amount of damage. Edeya used her Staff of Healing to help offset the damage somewhat. As Nadya went to go on the offensive, Aenland asked her to please get behind him and fight from the back lines with him. Nadya agreed to his request, and dodged out of the way of the golem’s fists and joined Aenland, pulling out her own bow and taking aim for Nazhena. Unfortunately her arrow went wide and she didn’t get first blood on the bitch like she deserved.

First blood went to Calio, who used his final Boneshaker to grab Nazhena in the air and drag her closer to the ground by her skeletal structure, also badly injuring her in the process. Nazhena ranted that she thought he was above necromancy—so clearly she didn’t know him nearly as well as she thought since almost every spell on his list is in the necromancy school of magic.

Nestian killed the fey he was locked in combat with. The other fey tried to Crushing Despair Calio, but he shrugged it off. His emotions couldn’t be played with after what a whirlwind they’d already been through lately. A moment later the second fey was no more as Aenland’s arrows pierced through it. Levi continued chipping away at the more damaged of the two constructs, and a moment later Nestian came up from behind and crushed the icy construct so it burst into an explosion of frost—drawing first blood on the Fossil Golem next to it.

Nazhena threw a magical snowball at Edeya to try to stagger her, but Edeya pushed through. Aenland got hit by the Fossil Golem and took a massive amount of dexterity drain as he began to slowly petrify. Calio was also aimed for, but Nestian pushed him out of the way and took the blow in his place, resisting the petrification effect.

Calio, still barely breathing as the suffocate spell continued to try to steal the oxygen from his lungs, focused on Nazhena and burned her with Screaming Flames. She resisted the wisdom damage but took the full fire damage.

Nestian had to make a choice between taking a swing at Nazhena, who Calio had pulled into his range, or going after the Fossil Golem. He decided he had the best chance to do some real damage to the golem, so he went after it. Aenland, seeing that his bow arm was difficult to move, grabbed an Adamantine Warhammer from Calio’s bag of holding and charged into the fray after Nestian.

Nazhena saw that Edeya was going to be a problem as the one who kept healing everyone. She used the Ice Tomb hex to encase her in solid ice. Calio tried to save her with his final Hero Point, but it was crushed by an icy force (translation: she rerolled and still failed her save).

Before Calio could do anything else, he felt the Suffocation spell actually take hold. The air was ripped from his lungs, and he fell unconscious.

Nadya broke Edeya free from the Ice Tomb as Nestian finished off the Fossil Golem. Edeya healed Calio—as the only one *capable* of healing Calio. Aenland finished off the final ice construct—which had been having its own little Pokémon battle off to the side with Levi in which Levi was chipping away against its damage reduction and it was chipping away against Levi’s fast healing. Then his final two arrows were Nazhena’s. She was looking rough.

Nadya tried to take the final shot, but as with the first shot her arrows went wide.

Calio, from where he’d fallen from Nazhena’s spell, looked up at the woman who in another life had been a friend of some kind. He raised his hand, casting the final use of Screaming Flames he had. ‘Nazhena!’ he yelled, getting her attention. ‘I was right. You and Radosek did deserve each other. And now you’ll join him.’ He released the flames and screaming crying spirits, letting them wash over her. Aenland just watched, content that he had been right: his friends had come together to finish her, and no one had come to save her. Nestian joined Aenland’s side. Nadya took her handaxe and threw it, hitting her right between the eyes and causing her to fly back, falling before the Dancing Hut.

The Hut quit pretending to be docile. It leapt up and tore her to pieces with the beak over its doorway, swallowing her. Calio hoped what was left of the body would be inside somewhere, because he’d had some questions for her.

The revolution was still raging around them, so the party quickly retrieved Nazhena’s key to the Hut’s shackles from where it fell. The moment one of them touched the key, it melted, as did the shackles that bound the Dancing Hut.

Calio used the mirror to contact Solveig and let her and Greta know that Nazhena was no more, and that they were going to enter the Dancing Hut. Greta said she was on her way, and arrived shortly thereafter with her Winter Wolf speed. The party entered the Hut.

Inside they met two people. A short fey creature with a long bird-like face named Zorka, and a human man named Ratibar the Bold. Ratibar was suspicious of us at first, until Zorka said she could feel the Geass on us and knew we were Honored Riders. Zorka and Ratibar bowed and welcomed us to the Dancing Hut.

They asked if we had the keys, and we confirmed we had the two strange objects we’d identified as keys to the Dancing Hut previously. A blue beard and a plague doctor mask. Zorka threw these items into a cauldron and told one of us to start stirring and to believe it would take us where we needed to go. She needed another person to work some control—and again to believe it would work. And she needed someone to simply stand back in the back and also believe it would work. Aenland took the control, Nestian took the cauldron, and Calio and Greta stood in the back together—talking about how wild this day had been, and Calio confirming it was basically always like this.

Then Zorka told us in a panic that we had a problem. In the view screen we saw someone approaching. A familiar someone. Queen Elvana herself. Zorka told Nestian to stir faster.

We all believed super hard…and the Dancing Hut vanished before Queen Elvana could reach us. Thrown through time and space, to someplace else entirely.

[narutos-fat-meat]

**Crave**

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Tags: SMUT, cheating, dubious consent/(slight) non-con, angst(?), first time, voyeurism, exhibitionism, jealousy

*PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT TO INCLUDE ANYTHING*

*SMUT BELOW THE CUT*

******

How did you end up in this situation? All you had wanted was for your first time to be special like every girl wants. You and Kageyama had talked and thought about losing your virginities to each other before. Sure it was nerve-wracking and the conversations were awkward with Kageyama being, well, himself but neither of you had much experience. Both of you had made out with people before but nothing had ever gone beyond second base. You’d been together for 11 months and you were getting antsy.

Watching him on the court was an otherworldly experience, the way his intensity radiated off of his body made you shiver and your mind often wandered to those fingers of his and what they were capable of. Long and strong, he was a setter after all. You weren’t the only one feeling like this either, you could tell. Kageyama had recently developed a habit of turning your study sessions into make-out sessions, and it was getting boring. He wasn't a bad kisser, far from it, but he always ended it before you got anywhere good. Yeah, he’d grope your tits but never under your shirt. You’d try to grind your hips onto his but he’d use his strength to keep you firm in your place, denying you any pleasure, very pg-13 by your standards. You wanted more, so much more so when it came time to talk about taking the next step you had felt unsure. Did Kageyama even want to have sex with you?  

There was never any doubt in your mind that you wanted to lose your virginity to Kageyama. He was your first serious boyfriend after all and not only that, you loved him. But what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if him pushing you off his lap after your short-lived make-outs was him trying to tell you that he didn’t love you? But that didn't make sense or else why would he spend 11 months leading you on like that? Sure he was apathetic sometimes but never was he intentionally cruel. Determined to ease your mind, you set out to find out why he seemed so apprehensive to go further.  

The next time you invited Kageyama over to “study” you took matters into your own hands. You sat on his lap like you always did and when he went to place his hands on your hips like usual, you gently took a hold of one of them and guided it under your shirt and placed it directly over your naked breast earning a surprised groan from the pretty setter’s mouth. He broke the kiss suddenly, a string of saliva still connecting the two of you. “Y/N what...what are you doing?” he rasped out, his face red and chest heaving slightly from the lack of oxygen. “Touch me” you pleaded, feeling him shift under your weight. The warmth of his calloused hand on your bare breast succeeding in setting your skin on fire. “Please,” you begged desperately, slowly grinding your hips down onto his growing erection. You heard him groan low in the back of his throat before his hands were off you completely and you unceremoniously slumped off his lap and landed with a soft 'oof' onto your bed.

“Kageyama what the hell?!” you asked with fresh tears pricking the sides of your eyes. “I...I’m sorry y/n." He stood at the foot of your bed, his hands trying and failing to hide his obvious hard-on. "I just never done this before okay?"

Your heart swelled at the sight of his anxiety and you felt silly for ever doubting the love your boyfriend had for you. “And neither have I Tobio baby” you reassured him, sitting up and patting the spot next to you on your bed. He hesitantly shuffled over and took the spot next to you.

“We don’t have to go further if you don’t want to-”

“ NO I want to!” he interrupts, blue eyes wide with determination. You chuckle at his enthusiasm. “Okay so how about this, we don’t do anything tonight but tomorrow after you’re done with volleyball practice, you come over and we...go from there."

All you wanted was to have slow and kind of awkward sex with the boy you loved. So how did it end up being Sugawara-san between your legs while your boyfriend sat back and watched?  

“Sugawara-senpai are you sure this is ok?” you hear Kageyama ask from his seat off to the side of the bed, hesitation tinting his voice.

“Of course, it is my little kouhai, I mean you did ask for some tips didn’t you?" he chuckles darkly and your stomach drops. No, you think, this can’t be happening. Kageyama is letting Sugawara take your virginity. “I can’t show you if I can't touch her now can I?” he says as if it’s the most normal thing ever. “Please”, you start but he cuts you off. "Shhh princess, let Suga-san take care of you."

You inch back onto your bed afraid to feel Sugawara’s touch, but he’s nothing if not persistent. “Calm down princess, I'm only doing what your little boyfriend here asked me to do”, he coos sweetly extending his hand towards you. You look at it for a second dumbfounded. He’s sweet.

You think.

He sees the gears in your brain working to make sense of the situation and strokes the apple of your cheek with the pad of his thumb. The motion is oddly calming despite you not knowing him well. You lean into his touch and he smirks inching his face closer to yours. Your breath catches in your throat and then his lips are on yours. You can feel how soft they are and you can’t help but moan into his mouth. Sugawara takes the opportunity to shove his tongue in your mouth and let his hands wander. The kiss is heated, passionate, and it makes you clench your thighs in anticipation.  

Sugawara breaks the kiss suddenly leaving you to chase after his lips. “I want to see you...all of you” he hums, standing to remove his clothes. You follow his lead leaving only your panties on to keep at least some of your dignity.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful” he hisses through gritted teeth, eye leering at your almost naked form. Your face flushes as he pushes you into the confines of the mattress and he's quick to position himself above you, his shadow basking over your form. As if he never left, both his hands and lips were on you again. His talented fingers tweak your nipples and his lips leave a trail of kisses down your neck until he abruptly stops just above your chest. “Oh Kageyama, look at how hard her nipples are!” Sugawara coos sickeningly as he takes one of the hardened buds into his mouth swirling his tongue and making you arch into his touch. “Surely, you’ve done this before...no?" he asks with genuine surprise tinting his tone. You feel him smirk as he moves further down, his nose caressing your abdomen.

You feel him come to an abrupt stop right as he reaches the hem of your panties, anticipation pooling in your stomach until he hooks his fingers inside and begins to slide them off. You hear him inhale sharply and all you can do is attempt to hide your embarrassment behind your hands.  

"Ah ah ah princess”, he rasps. “I thought I told you I wanted to see all of you...that includes your pretty little face." He reaches up and pulls your hands away from your face, stopping to interlock his fingers with your own. It felt weirdly intimate considering he’s just taking your virginity as a favor to Kageyama. His fingers are gone in an instant and he takes his place back between your legs.

“Kageyama you call yourself a setter, right?”

Kageyama responds immediately. “Yes Suga-san”

“Okay so you should have some degree of coordination" he sneers, malice laced in his tone. It's obvious he’s getting off on teasing Kageyama, but you can’t be bothered enough to care because just as you’re about to tell him to knock it off you feel him run his fingers against your folds, collecting your arousal. You bite your lip to stifle a moan and hear him chuckle. “Oh...you’re so responsive." He continues with decorating his fingers with your arousal until after what seems like hours, he decides his fingers are wet enough and slowly he begins to push past the rings of muscle at your entrance. In response, your insides clamp down at the sudden breach.

“God you’re so fucking tight” he groans, and you feel your face flush for the thousandth time that night. Slowly he starts pumping his fingers in and out, curling them now and then stretching out your walls.

You claw at the bedsheets underneath you, back arching and mind blank with pleasure. You’re so close to the edge, you’re trying to hold off and you’re doing so well enough until Sugawara decides to add a third finger and it pushes right up against that sweet spot. “C-close” you manage to stutter out overwhelmed by the pleasure, and just as you're about to finally cum Sugawara comes to a complete stop. “Ah ah ah pretty girl," he coos. “I want you to come on my tongue."

You think you misheard him until he starts to speak again. “Kageyama my sweet little kouhai, listen closely okay? If you want to make your little girlfriend here a wet mess try doing two things at once." He waits for Kageyama to nod and he continues. "Don’t be lazy, you have a mouth and big strong hands don’t you?”

“Yes Suga-san," Kageyama answers, voice barely above a whisper, eyes locked with Sugawara’s, almost as if he’s transfixed. “Okay now pay close attention,” he says as he lowers his face down between your legs. You feel him run his tongue against your folds, his fingers still inside, and you let out an unabashed moan. “You see how she’s trembling? Yeah, you want that.” He continues his ministrations, unashamed as his nose pressed completely against your clit. You try to grind down on his face, but he uses his free hand to pin your hips to the mattress and you huff at his denial of your pleasure.

You start to beg. “P-please,” you could feel the throbbing sensation from earlier returning. At the sound of your pleas, Sugawara smirk against your pussy as he finally resumes pumping his fingers, the combination of his fingers and his tongue has you seeing stars and you think it can’t get much better until he sucks gently on your clit.

“Do it," he commands, his face still between your now shaking legs. “Fuck come on my face princess” he adds and that’s all it takes for you to come with his name falling from your lips.  

Suddenly it’s as if his entire aura has changed and he removes his fingers from your entrance and angles his face so he’s staring up at you from between your legs. His gaze is predatory and a chill runs down your spine.  

Chest still heaving and mind still reeling from an otherworldly orgasm you fail to notice Sugawara position his rock-hard cock at your entrance. “Aww Kageyama did you hear your little whore girlfriend cum with my name on her lips?" he spits and you’re shocked, this isn’t the same Sugawara you know, it can’t be. You feel him begin to slide his erection in and you choke on a gasp. He’s so big to the point you feel like you’re being split in half.

“S-S-Suga san,” you moan, back arching and he groans low in the back of his throat. He continues with his banter with Kageyama. "Maybe if you knew how to please her she’d be moaning your name instead of mine." It takes him a full three minutes to finally bottom out and once he does all you can do is shut your eyes tight to keep the tears now pricking your eyes from cascading down your face. He gives you a minute to adjust to his size, before he grips your hips tightly, pulls out completely, and slams back in. You choke on a scream, clawing at his forearms. You look to your side, tearful eyes landing on Kageyama, silently and desperately begging him to help you. He looks away quickly refusing to meet your eyes, your trailing down to see his erection, damn pervert.  

Sugawara looks over at Kageyama and scoffs removing one of his hands from your hips to grip your face. He digs his fingers into your cheeks and forces you to look at him. He sneers, “Look at me and not at him,” before grinding his dick inside you. He starts lazily thrusting his hips, and it almost seems like he’ll keep that gentle pace until he speaks up.

“Cat got your tongue princess?” you shake your head. “Then open your mouth and make some noise. Let Kageyama know how much you appreciate that he set this up for you.” You oblige, opening your mouth and letting out a feeble whine. “Come on baby girl I know you can be louder than that, let's show Kageyama what he’s missing,” he says and then he sets a brutal and almost bruising pace, his balls slapping against your ass with every thrust. Soon you feel your second orgasm of the night steadily approaching. “You know...” he says, taking his hands off your hips and maneuvering your legs so they’re on his shoulders, “I’m much older than your little boyfriend here, so call me senpai from now on.” You moan at his words, feeling yourself clench around his cock. You’re coming on another man’s cock as your boyfriend watches and somehow, you’re not the least bit phased only craving to be fucked longer, harder. Sugawara fucks you through your second orgasm truly milking you for all you’re worth.  

He pulls out and your stomach drops, is it over? No, it can’t be.  

“Don’t look so sad princess,” he coos flipping you onto your stomach and positioning you so your ass is up in the air and your face pressed into the mattress. “I’m far from finished with you, I’m gonna fuck you so good you’ll crave my cock for the rest of your life." He slides back in all in one go and your eyes roll to the back of your head. The sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room obscenely. His thrusts are truly unforgiving, bruising, and brutal. His hand gropes your hip as the other grips your hair, so your back is flush against his body. You feel the telltale heat of a third orgasm building up within seconds and then it suddenly disappeared. No no no. You were so close.  

“You think a whore like you deserves to come three times? When your senpai hasn’t even come once?" He was greeted with silence and hummed lightly. "Answer me slut” he growls in your ear as he slowly grinds up into you. “N-no."

“Ok then show me you deserve it, beg baby girl, beg me for it like the whore you are."

It’s almost as if he’s cast a spell on you with those words. “Please Suga senpai," you moan unashamed. “Let me cum, please I've been a good girl. Please!” Your begging was unbelievably loud and he’s so close. “Fuck you don’t know how many times I've stuffed my hand down my pants fantasizing about getting to fuck you just like this”, he growls.

“God this is so much better than I ever imagined, your pussy was made to take my cock" he mutters more to himself. You feel his hips stutter and sure enough, he’s coming inside you. “Fuck y/n take it, fuck take my cum, fuck take your senpai’s cum." You feel the warmth of his cum filling you, stuffing you to the brim, and ripping a scream from you as you came in tow, completely exhausted.

“I think that’s enough Sugawara san." Kageyama's voice is firm, almost murderous, breaking you out of your trance, his erection betraying his tone. This was supposed to be his first time too and he had allowed his senpai to take it from him, how could he? Your eyes fill with tears for the second time that night and you can’t bring yourself to look at your...boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend? Who even knows at this point? Suga senpai was right, you’re sure you’ll never be able to get the feel of his cock out of your mind. You’ll crave the feeling of being fucked open on it for the rest of your life. You'd had the best as your first and nothing would ever compare.

******

A/N: This is the first fanfic I’ve written in years, as well as the first one I’ve written for this fandom I really hope ya’ll enjoyed it:)

Come talk to me about it, or request a fic of your own:)

likes and reblogs appreciated

ALSO VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO BOTH @atsumuse AND @astrablossom FOR PROOFREADING:)

[ge-o-rge]

your first time with the karasuno 1st years!

includes: hinata, kageyama, tsukishima, yamaguchi

cw: well, sex? tsukki and kags big dick alert (you didnt hear it from me). aged up obvs.

word count: 1.1k

written for the female audience || x fem readers, this is for you!

the hcs are under the cut!

hinata shōyō

listen to me, this man, this adorable ray of sunshine, will provide you the best first time in your entire life!

he's so fucking sweet, so gentle when slipping his averaged length cock into your unexplored cunt.

if he hears even a single poor sound from your mouth, he'll stop everything he's doing and check on you, littering kisses all over your face even if you felt good.

mans just wants the best for you. he'll throw out his own pleasure for you. he wants to make you feel good, not the other way around.

let him please you, oh please! he'll do anything to make your first time be the most unforgettable experience

hinata gently and very slowly thrusted into your sopping cunt, his grunts and light moans coming with it as the pleasure of your tight lil' cunny wrapped around his average—maybe above?—length cock washed over him. he wasn't supposed to be focusing on that, he thought. hearing you whimper, he immediately stopped his actions to check on you, but instead of a painful expression, you were biting your lips in pleasure. maybe the pain that came with pleasure felt good. okay, it felt really good. hinata's confidence grew the more he thrusted harder, hearing the moans you've been holding back finally spill. he might've cummed in his condom from your sounds, but don't worry, he's happy to continue thrusting into you till you yourself come. after all, he is a volleyball player.

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kageyama tobio

nah, this man? big dick.

however, he is so fucking pure.

this time, you're the one taking his virginity.

after 5 months of dating, you both finally decided it was time to take things further.

after winning a match with his team, schweiden alders, you decided to reward him with some sex.

now, kageyama being the dumb-loving volleyball player he is, he never really indulged himself in the world of sex.

that was until he met you, of course.

you're the manager of his team — aphrodite herself. even if you wore nothing but the team's jacket and some tracksuits, he would love to tear it off and see what was hidden underneath. you were just that damn sexy to him.

jacking off to you wouldn't be difficult either as he sees you almost every other day, and during practice, when you'd bend over to pick off some of the discarded balls in the court, he just wants to take you then and there.

you guys eventually started a relationship after he confessed and you reciprocated his feelings.

so now, here you guys were, taking your relationship to the next level.

kags is just a whiny baby tbh. he'll try to not show it, but all of his dreams of fucking you are coming true, so why the heck would he not be whiny?

you're a sweet person of course, but even you have to admit, he's pretty fucking adorable under you.

maybe, just maybe, if he lets you, you could take over the bed duties.

"a-ah! wait! wait! wait! please! wait i-i'm gonna cu-cum if you keep doing that-!" kageyama cried at your unrelenting pussy gripping at his lengthy cock. "sh-shit! ah! jesus fucking-!" his words spilled out like milk from a glass. you were humping, bouncing and grinding on his cock, unlike before, you had a surge of energy from hearing him moan for you. your ego rose knowing you could make this cold man become putty with your touches. his mans continued on for hours on end as you forbade him from cumming, wanting to hear more of his wanton pleads.

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tsukishima kei

another big dick boy.

you guys are both virgins, but it feels like you're the only one as tsukishima is just a unrelenting man.

he'll tease you, call you his little slut, whispering how good you feel around him. his blunt and condescending personality really shines through here.

also, if you try to touch him, he'll stop whatever he's doing. yeah, don't wrap your hips around him. if you want more, tell him vocally, that gets his gears going.

size kink? i think yes. seeing his dick bulge in your stomach makes him haywire.

overall, a big dick during your first times, but after care is 10/10.

big softie, just wants to hold you, maybe some cockwarming too.

"yeah? you like that?" kei groaned in your ear when you tightened around his dick. "what a dirty little slut. clamping on my dick like you've never had one before." you slapped him on the head, causing him to wince in pain. "shut the fuck up. you're a virgin too, dumbass." you two glared at each other before eventually breaking into laughs. "shut up, i'm trying to get in the mood, idiot." he tsked. after calming down, he started over, this time just grunting and groaning while you whimpered and moaned from the stretch. "look at that, look how big i am in you." he whispered, grabbing your hand and resting it over the bulge that formed in your stomach. the heat and pressure from your hand sent a tide of pleasure to his dick, but he won't tell you that. "you little slut. c'mere and ride me." it may have been his first time too, but it's in his blood to be so dominating.

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yamaguchi tadashi

UGH CAN HE JUST- HDFSEHFUHFSASDF

HE'S SO GOD DAMN SWEET IM GONNA CRY

this is both of your first times. fresh out of high school, new atmosphere and all.

the first week of college was hectic, the second week went smoothly, but when the third week came, it was over for you two. so many assignments needed to be done, works needed to be handed in — it was so time consuming, even texting a hello was hard. maybe you two shouldn't of majored in your majors.

eventually, after a tiring day, you both finally finished everything and decided to just cuddle and watch a movie to release all your pent up frustration.

that frustration led to a heated makeout session.

yams has watched porn before, okay, he's not that innocent. but when finally doing it in real life, all his knowledge is thrown out the window the moment he's in you.

but still, he's literally the sweetest soft dom ever. maybe he could potentially be a switch, but he enjoys dominating you more.

btw, he's the king of praise.

"oh, god. you feel so good around me, baby. you're doing so well. such a pretty girl for me." he would groan in your ear while you bounced up and down on his hot, hard cock. "do i feel good for you? hmm? are you liking it too?" you would nod immediately, your moans never stopping the more you rode him. he takes the pleasure up a notch by thrusting up into you the moment you were about to come down on him again. your walls clenched tightly around him, making him moan loudly. "god, you're so perfect."

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©fruitygumi on tumblr! do not repost/reupload or plagiarize my works!

[avian-hearts]

[ @skenpiel​ ] WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THESE MADE ME SMILE SO WIDE,,,,,, THANK YOU SO SOOO MUCH

[pumpkinmich]

Me: I won’t write for bnha

Momo in this outfit: *not even exists*

Me: buT MOMO OMG SHES SO CUTE AND PRETTY

momo in ryujin’s outfit from ITZY!! original tweet/inspiration by Filiana under the cut!

Continuar lendo

[freetheworms]

okay so i’ve had this weird Geraskier trucker AU stuck in my head for a while and i just don’t know if i’ll ever get around to writing it properly, so instead i have compiled my headcanons!

(this got super fucking long somehow, so most of it is under the cut)

so Geralt is a long-haul trucker for a small, family owned company called Witchers Express Transportation (WET for short. haha)

of course it’s his family that owns it. Vesemir started it years ago back in their small town of Kaer Moren as something he could pass onto his boys, and to be honest, they all kind of enjoy the travel and a little solitude, although none as much as Geralt

Geralt truck is black with a wolf emblem on the side, because of course it is. Lambert’s is red with flames on it because he loves to fuck around and also i make the rules. Eskel’s truck is forest green because i just think that’s nice. Coën’s is grey (with flames because Lambert insisted he needed to “spice it up.”) Vesemir mostly stays at HQ and handles orders now, but his old truck was also black. none of that matters but it’s important to me that you know this

Geralt also has a black cat that travels with him in the cab of his truck like those adorable dudes on tiktok. i’ll give you one guess at her name ((it’s Roach. duh))

anyway. Geralt is out on some cross-continent haul, and pulls into a truck stop in Posada one evening, cause y’know. a man’s gotta eat. and drink. and sleep (if he’s lucky)

insert bard. i imagine their first meeting is essentially the same as it is in the show, except Jaskier is playing the ukulele instead of the lute because it’s modern times, and a guitar wouldn’t be playable in the truck. i am big brained

eventually Geralt goes to head back on the road once he and Roach are fed and rested, and finds he has a loud, obnoxiously-dressed shadow following him through the parking lot

“hey, so wait. okay wait. what if i, uh, y’know, came with you? like, in your truck?” Jaskier is running away from his stuffy pompous home life, and this big sexy trucker looks like his very climbable ticket

“you don’t even know where i’m going” Geralt is so not having it.

“well, no. i mean. you could tell me? but i don’t really care, as long as it’s not here!”

“i could kill you” Geralt is putting on his scariest face. it is decidedly not working

“nah, don’t buy it. i feel like murderous truckers don’t have kitten companions,” the idiot kid actually winks at him. “so, where are we going?” Jaskier is already climbing into the truck and Geralt, sweet, awkward Geralt, doesn’t want to have to rip him out of it so he just kind of. goes with it, begrudgingly. the kid probably won’t last long cooped up in the tiny cab, anyway

Geralt is very, very wrong.

Jaskier is happy to sit in the truck and look out the windows, commenting on every weird or mildly interesting thing they drive by. he’s also maybe a little too happy to flirt with Geralt at every given opportunity. Geralt definitely, totally, feels no ways about this, why would you even ask that?

Geralt keeps waiting for him to fuck off at one of the truck stops they pull into, but the kid just keeps coming back

if Geralt waits for the bard to finish his set, or his conquests before he drives off, that is definitely not because he likes the company. nope. he just feels bad for the kid, okay? it’s dangerous for a naive little fancy lad out here

oh, also. Geralt’s radio doesn’t work and Jask thinks that’s the most insane thing about this guy. i mean, travelling for weeks on end with nothing but silence and the occasional meow to listen to? absolutely psychopath behaviour. can’t have that.

so Jaskier spends a lot of his time in the passenger seat, composing songs about the various people he’s met on their travels, or about Geralt, and even once about Roach. Geralt pretends to be annoyed when Jaskier plays them in the cab, but secretly he’s realizing maybe he doesn’t miss the silence as much as he thought

Jaskier still gets himself in trouble sleeping with the wrong people at the inns they frequent, and Geralt of course has to be his Big Beefy Backup™️ when the occasional angry husband or wife tries to skin him in the middle of the motel lobby

Geralt is absolutely not jealous of the people Jask sleeps with. he’s not. nope. no, sir. he’s just annoyed at having to rescue him, is all

and if they share a bed half the time, it’s only because motels are expensive and getting two rooms seems like a waste of money. they’re just being smart!

so, they travel together like this for a couple of years; Geralt making deliveries (and excuses for the weird, overly friendly man constantly in his passenger seat) and Jaskier using all this experience to further his meager singer-songwriter career

they do part ways sometimes so Geralt can go back to Kaer Moren, or so Jaskier can try and record one of his now numerous ballads, but they’ve exchanged phone numbers (for safety!) and they somehow always end up coming back together

Jaskier absolutely did not turn on Geralt’s location sharing so he could “happen to turn up” at the same truck stop as his favourite trucker

so, yeah. they do this little dance around each other for almost 10 years before Geralt’s guilt finally gets the better of him on a bad day. he’s kept Jaskier cooped up in his tiny truck for far too long. it’s selfish. Jask deserves to see the world, and not from behind a windshield. he says as much, one day when they’re stopped in some shitty diner parking lot

Jaskier suggests they take some time off the road then, maybe see the coast together? 

Geralt insists he can’t just leave his job, and that Jaskier should go on to live his actual life without an old grumpy man weighing him down

Jaskier does not take that well. “i’m the one that asked you if i could travel with you, you big brute! you don’t get to be all self-sacrificing about this!”

Geralt does not take Jaskier not taking it well very well. cue yelling. cue Geralt saying things he doesn’t mean about Jaskier holding up his deliveries with his dilly-dallying at stops. about Jaskier never shutting up and being annoying. about how he wishes he’d never met that stupid kid at the truck stop in Posada. 

big “go on! just get outta here you stupid dumb animal!” vibes

cue Mountain Breakup moment. they banter, sure, but Geralt has never actually yelled at him like this. Jask gets out of the truck with a dejected “see you around, Geralt.”

they travel separately for a good few months, almost a year before Geralt starts to think he might go insane in the silence. he even considers fixing his radio, but something about that feels wrong. also he’s a little scared he’ll hear one of Jaskier’s songs play and lose his shit entirely

so eventually Geralt is home at Kaer Moren, moping more than usual, when Eskel somehow notices that Geralt and Jaskier are still sharing locations. Geralt didn’t even know that was a thing you could do??? How long has that been on????

Eskel just gives him this Look and Geralt realizes what he has to do

he sets out to find Jaskier, pinging his phone at some bar just outside Posada

well, thank god he did because he find a tipsy and very scared Jaskier in the back alley, about to get his shit rocked by a group of angry locals whose spouses he probably fucked

Mr. Big Beefy Backup™️ scares the 3 or 4 people off easy enough, but then comes the hard part. time to apologize for being a supreme dickhead, Geralt. go on.

Jaskier is still just standing there in shock because what??? just happened??? why is Geralt here? how is Geralt here? he knows for a fact Geralt would never figure out Jaskier’s location sharing trick on his own; this man can barely figure out how to answer a text. 

he’s about to ask when Geralt finally starts speaking

and it’s an apology? from his Geralt?? okay, maybe he’s drunker than he thought

but no, Geralt really is apologizing, and he looks sincere. in fact, he looks downright miserable as he tells Jaskier he never meant any of it, and he’s so sorry he let his guilt get the better of him. says Jaskier didn’t deserve that hurt, and Geralt would never do it again. he’s really trying to be better. he will be better, just please. he just needs his bard back, if he’ll have him

the silence is deafening as Jaskier just stands there, gaping like a fish

he was going to shut Geralt down, at least for a minute. he was. he’s thought about this moment a zillion times, and he really was going to tell Geralt it wasn’t enough, that he’s worth more than that

but Geralt looks genuinely heartbroken and vulnerable in a way Jaskier’s never seen, and he can’t do it. he doesn’t want to.

so Jaskier steels himself and kisses him instead, because for once, he’s at a loss for words. because he’s a little drunk and he’s wanted this for the better part of a decade. because he’s afraid this is the only chance he’ll get

and when Geralt feverishly returns the kiss, Jaskier knows he’ll happily climb right back into that cramped old truck with him. knows there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than with this big, stupid man that he loves. he says as much

and Geralt smiles, actually grins as he says “i love you too, Jaskier”

Jaskier does set some new boundaries and ground rules between them though, because we stan Growth and Knowing Your Worth. luckily, Geralt is more than happy to oblige

and then they drive off into the sunset together to see the coast :)

also, Jaskier has never been more grateful for Geralt’s broken radio. there’s, uhh, no need for Geralt to hear his latest single, Burn Trucker Burn

wow. okay, well at this point i may as well have written the actual fic but Y’KNOW. maybe i will some day. who knows. let me know if uhhh if anyone would want to read it?? validation is my lifeblood and i’m real nervous about posting this for no reason

also, if anyone else for some reason wants to give this stupid AU a go, please for the love of god, tag me! i’d love to read what you come up with :)

[betbeton]

𓆱 Menace to Society

Things the HQ boys did to ruin sex

18 + Minors and Ageless accounts DNI , Post Time Skip

·GN Reader ·

· Not Beta'd ·

· A/N - i'm on my bullshit ·

Part 2 · Longer Version

・❥・ masterlist

⪧ Sugawara Koushi

Bit your cheek when he came once. You had a big ass bruise for weeks afterwards.

⪧ Hinata Shoyo

Nutted in your eye. Was far more distraught then you, had to comfort him while naked with a stinging eye.

⪧ Tsukishima Kei

His sex playlist is just podcasts about dinosaurs.

⪧ Nishinoya Yuu

Was hitting it from the back and thrust so hard you smacked into the headboard and got a concussion.

⪧ Oikawa Tooru

Came after one pump when you two took each other's virginity. Blamed you for being too tight, said to stretch out your hole.

⪧ Matsukawa Issei

You were having nice soft intercrural sex when he decided to spice it up by slipping it in. You swung and gave the dumbass a black eye.

⪧ Hanamaki Takahiro

Tells Mattsun everything. That new kink you've been thinking about exploring? Yeah Mattsun knows all about it.

⪧ Iwaizumi Hajime

Mistook the hand sanitizer for the lube bottle in the dark.

[sardonic-the-writer]

━"Manning The Mics"

━Tw: None

━Notes: I have delted this over five times on accident. If there's any typos- too bad so sad I'm never revisiting this. It took so long ;-;

━Song: "Why Am I Anxious" By Tom Cardy

"You know I have the power to fire you right."

Giggles filled with pure mirth came from (Y/n) as they tried not to double over, staring at their unamused boss, whom, was covered head to toe in sticky notes.

Their record for how many post-it notes they could place on one person had been 18. Had been.

Now it was a whopping 23.

As one could clearly tell if they took one look at the man in front of (Y/n).

You know, suprisingly, working at a studio downtown dedicated to airing a local t.v channel wasn't all that entertaining. Especially when someone like (Y/n)—who had mounds of untapped potential according to the company—was stuck wiping the dust off of camera lenses instead of putting their four years at college to use.

What's the use of going to school for a degree in sound design if they didn't even use it.

So they had to find a way to spice up their day to day routine. That didn't involve loitering around the snack table untill the day ended. (The coffee tasted like shit anyways.) What better way than slapping half a pad of post-its on your co-workers.

"If I didn't like you so much I would have kicked you out a long while ago."

(Y/n) paused their laughing fit to swipe dramatically at the corner of their eyes, pretending to wipe a tear away.

"Yeah. But you wouldn't want to get rid of 'one of the most talented workers you've seen in years'. Your words not mine." They clasped their hands together with an overdone grin, looking up at their (still) uninterested boss. He just grumbled at them in response.

Honestly Robert wasn't a bad supervisor. He never yelled at anyone, only tossing the occasional death glare when people needed to be reminded of things. Which was much appreciated concidering his sagging eyebags and sardonic demeanor made it seen like he would and could snap at the smallest thing.

He was pretty nice to (Y/n) anyways. Treated them like a hyper cousin. You know; the one you always saw getting yelled at by their mom at family gatherings because they put a whoopee cushion on someone's seat.

"Listen. I didnt call you in here to talk about, er, this." Robert plucked a blue sticky note off his temple, crumbling the material up into a ball and flicking it across the room.

It landed in the waste bin by his desk perfectly, making (Y/n) widen their eyes with an entertained smile. Robert didn't share their enthusiasm.

"I got an email from HQ this morning. One of the cast members saw you, ah 'performing by the water cooler' the other day so to speak, and wanted to meet you for something in building 2M today. As in, fifteen-minutes-from-right-now today."

(Y/n) saw a flash of remorse pass across his eyes. His tone was gentler now. The kind of gentle tone people use when they tell you your dog was just run over by a steam roller.

They felt their heart drop, face twisting into an unpleasant expression.

It had just been a bit of goofing off. Balancing a cherry on their nose before popping it in their mouth and tying the stem like a magician presenting their next trick—that kind of stuff. They didn't even know a cast member would be there. If so they would have used one of their sick days ahead of time. (Can you blame them. No one wants to be in the same room as their boss when their working.)

"Do you know who saw-"

"No. I don't know. I'm sorry (Y/n)." Robert's lips twitched down into a frown full of sympathy. He reached out to place a hesitant pat on their arm, the gesture holding a lot more meaning than anyone would think.

"If they try to fire you, quit before they can. That's business 101."

Well that certantly made them feel a lot better.

"Thanks. Want me to just hand in my resignation now or-?"

"Shut up (Y/n)." He rolled his eyes. But there was no annoyance behind it.

"You need to get going anyways. And-" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"-good luck."

"Just make sure my headstone looks nice and neat alright?"

"Fuck off."

Offices surrounded by glass should be illegal.

That's all that was going through (Y/n)'s brain as they walked through the winding hallways of headquarters. More specifically building M2.

They could see everything going on in the rooms due to those stupid glass walls, yet nothing at the same time. It was anxiety inducing.

But also what-the-fuck inducing.

A man with a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and atrocious mouth mullet was talking to a group of terrified looking people in one area while waving around what was, hopefully, a fake gun.

In the room next to him was a masked figure in a skin tight black body suit, posing like a superhero while resting their comically large hands by his hips. They almost looked to be roleplaying if anything.

The company didn't talk about this in the introduction video.

What room were they supposed to be in again? The lady at the front desk had said the one with the cream walls right? Or was it gray-

They let their feet lead them down a few more twists and turns while trying not to think about it too much. The contents in the rooms only got more bizarre as they went, albeit less and less people occupying them untill no one was left.

The journey only paused when a room on their right came up, big bold letters above it reading Conference Room.

Hey, that room looked cream colored enough.

(Y/n) pushed the glass door open, head popping in as they scanned the contents of the place. Just as their view from the outside suggested, no one was in there.

"Yeah. Okay. That's great. Invite me up here why don't you. Give me a heart attack why don't you. Make sure not to show up before me why don't you."

Their words were full of nerves, bones in their neck popping as they cracked it anxiously.

Who exactly was the cast again? They knew the general idea that surrounded all of them. The Big Men. The bosses. The people who ran this entire company in their free time.

Wispers about who exactly they were ran rampant on set some days. How one was a demon. The other was an insane pink Willy Wonka. Someone even had a thoery that they were all just fragments of one mans mind, which was met with as many eyerolls and scoffs as one would think.

Honestly (Y/n) had never paid much attention to any of the theories. They were never gonna meet the guys in charge anyways, so why bother? They'd much rather spend their time getting their job done quickly so they could spend the rest of their shift goofing off.

But now, walking around the oval shaped table and eyeing the place skeptically, they wish they had listened in to those conversations.

"Ah! Wonderful! We were wondering when you would show up sugarplum!"

(Y/n) nearly jumped three feet in the air, whirling around to the source of their sudden spike in heart rate.

Right where seconds ago no one had been sitting were six individual men surrounding the brown table.

Everyone looked the same. But different. It was a wonder how they had never really seen any of them before, despite working on set and them being the 'main cast'.

They all were staring straight at (Y/n), who swore their face lost all color at the attention.

Each one was dressed in different attire, ranging vastly from suits to hospital scrubs. A couple of them even looked to be glitching. Or was that buffering? They couldn't tell.

"Well come on! Sit down sit down. There's a chair right next to Bim and Hosty right there!"

Their eyes flickered to the enthusiastic man with messy brown hair, his voice slurred as if he'd been drinking. A pink tinted mustache moved with his words, which they couldn't help but stare at for a moment.

Nonetheless they listened, walking over to the chair he spoke of and slowly sitting down. If they hadnt felt small enough being stared at by six separate pairs of eyes, they certantly did now.

The one—Hosty he had been called?—on their left was a man in a light brown trench coat. He was rather handsome looking, albeit solom. He had a bandage around his head, weaving through his dark tresses and covering his vision. There looked to be dried blood stains where his eyes were, causing them to wonder how he could even see them.

"The Host thinks it's rude to stare."

(Y/n) quickly looked away at their words, choosing instead to eye the other man beside their seat.

Not like they had much of a chance to before a hand was shoved in their face.

"HI! Bim here. Bim Trimmer. Extrodinare in everything! That's Bim Trimmer. B-I-M, T-"

"Alright that's enough Bim. You're startling them." Someone said with a sigh.

The hand pointing straight inbetween the area of their eyes slowly reclined, Bims smile still ever present—if a bit forced now.

Who the absolute hell were these people.

"Wilford, why exactly are we all here?"

"Ah, yes. That!"

(Y/n)s eyes furrowed in the slightest, shifting in their seat as they watched the smiling man shuffle around for some papers. His tounge would come out and lick his lips occasionally and they tried not to acknowledge Wilfords little wink when he noticed them looking.

He then slammed a file decorated with stickers down on the table, patting it gently as if he didn't just completely demolish it against the furnitures surface.

"(Y/n) (L/n)! Works in building 4A, mic check crew. Born in Nevada, moved to Ohio to pursue their career in sound design! An adventurous little thing."

"We know Wilford. I recal reading the report on their interview. A very interesting one." A very monotone voice said, before screaming.

(Y/n)s eyes widened as a red and blue verson of the person across from them split in the air, howling. They looked to be in the worst pain imaginable. It was enough to make (Y/n) forget about the mention of their rather embarassing interview. (Let's just say the janitor had to stay overnight that day)

And then the figures were gone.

"Host notices (Y/n) jump. He wishes tell them that they were not imagining that. It is simply Dark becoming a bit aggitated."

Alright. So that made no sense. Perfect.

How to deal with this. Avoid eye contact? No they were already doing that. Music? Earbuds were in the car damnit. Oh-

Humor.

"So, is this gonna be done by my lunch break, because I have some tofu in the fridge I really can't let sit too long. Last time that happened I had to quarantine for a few months and oh boy-"

Their words faded the more they talked, nerves increasing by the moment.

Alright so no jokes. Tough crowd.

"Are you going to fire me? Becuase if so I quit first."

That made Wiford let out a hearty laugh, a few others joining in with small chuckled. Even the monochrome ones lips tilted up slightly, his expression having been stony untill now.

"Fire you? Why of course not! On the contrary sugar! Here, have some candy."

Before (Y/n) could say anything in retaliation a lollipop was shoved forcefully in their mouth. They gagged on it slightly, muffling out a 'hey!' as the sweet flavor coated their tounge.

Wilford just winked.

Host quietly narrated their flushed face with a slight tilt of his head.

They worked the treat around with their tounge, successfully muted as Wilford continued to go on a rant, pacing around the room and its inhabitants. Tossing out reasons why he had called them all up here with the occasional off topic discussion.

"-ut (Y/n) we were wondering if you'd like to come work in our building! On Warfstashe Tonight to be specific." He finally finished, filling with his suspenders and leaning down to look them in the eye with half closed lids.

He was so close, they could have stuck him in the eye with the end of their lollipop stick—and honestly was thinking about it just to see what would happen. So thank god for Host.

"The Host feels a bit neglected when Wilford fails to mention his podcast."

"Yeah, what The Host said. I'm Bim Trimmer! The Bim Trimmer! I need a mic guy too for my show about me! Bim!"

"They could help me with my diagnosis'. It's always more fun to tell people that their dying with an audience."

"I-I have no-o use f-for a us-seless huma-an."

Fuck you too blue shirt guy.

"Settle now." The dark man said again. Wait, dark? Dark.

(Y/n) thought someone had called him that. Strange name. However, it fit them.

"Wilford I recommend you stop playing with this poor human and get on with it. We can all figure out a schedule later. We've already confused them enough."

"You're no fun Darky." Wilford pouted, snatching the lollipop right out of (Y/n)'s mouth and placing it in his own. He sighed as he walked away, licking it at his leisure.

They blinked at the unsanitary action.

"But fiiiiine. Meeting dismissed. That means you too bubblegum. I can escort you out to your car if you'd like."

The pinkette was smiling at them innocently while twirling the spit coated treat around in his hand. But with the way Wilford looked them up and down they felt like he wanted to do more than just escort them to their car.

By now most of the other members at the table had gotten up to leave, shuffling around and making small talk amongst themselves. Not many spared an extra glance at (Y/n). Which they were thankful for. Their head was already spinning a little.

"Uh, no thanks Wilford. I'll just go back to my erm, building now." They declined his offer as politely as possible.

"You have some important tofu waiting for you if I'm not mistaken." Dark smoothed down his suit as he stood up, red and blue iris' boring into (Y/n)s own as he spoke. They had forgotten he was even there, which unnerved them a little. Silent guy.

"Uh, yes. Yes. That's it. Mhm yes totally. Tofu. I'll go get that and then I'll just- see what's left to do around here." (Y/n) stuffed their hands into their pockets, already starting to inch towards the door stiffly.

Wilford whined once or twice. But the glass door slammed in his face before any real words could make it out of his mouth, (Y/n)s pace increasing as they sped walked away with eyes as big as dinner plates.

They mentally thanked Dark for an opportunity out of there. They had never had trouble socializing in any sort of way, but in that room being offered so many promotions—could they even be called promotions if you're just thrust into the job—it felt more like they were being cooed and ogled at by a bunch of higher beings. Mainly Wilford.

But- whatever. They would do their research. The deranged Willy Wonka theory didn't seem too crazy anymore.

For now though–

–they were really craving a lollipop.