#hp bun in the oven

[lee-bella]

Non AO3 HP Fest Masterlists

AO3 seems to be down right now. (At least Fanfiction.net is still around—or we could always start writing.) Just for fun, here are some HP fest masterlists with fics and artworks hosted on Livejournal and/or Dreamwidth.

The Snape Showcase 2022 (LJ): Severus Snape through the ages.

Salt and Pepper Fest 2023 (DW): Focusing on characters over 50 years of age, in canon or not

Snarry-a-Thon 2023 (LJ | DW): Severus/Harry. A fest run by the snape_potter community on LJ and DW.

HP Bun in the Oven Pregnancy Fest 2023 (LJ | DW): All about pregnancy. The community also runs a monthly prompt challenge.

2023 HP Het Mini Fest (LJ | DW): Het pairings.

HoggyWartyXmas 2022 (LJ): A Christmas fest/party on Livejournal featuring Hogwarts staff and friends.

HP Halloween Double Drabble Exchange (LJ | DW): Bite size Hallowe'en tricks and treats. Here are some of the more recent rounds: !2020, !2019, !2018.

These fests have been running for many years. I've only linked their more recent rounds. Do check the tags on the sidebar for previous rounds.

And here are two older masterlist directories on Livejournal.

HP Master Lists: Just what it says. It hasn't been active since 2017, but it has plenty of masterlists from older HP fests.

Guns & Handcuffs: A Drarry community. It has a masterlists of H/D fests and challenges from 2004 to 2015.

There are many more older HP fests that were hosted on Livejournal, but it'll take a bit of digging around to find them. Or if you know where to find them, let me know.

[princess-hope-selfships]

I was looking something up, I don't remember what, but I stumbled across this and lost my shit

And then I wanted to see the other responses and there were some GEMS

So I assigned my f/os like a normal person would

Little Gorgonzola: Demyx

Darling: Alastor

Sweetheart: Elliott

F-35 Raptor: Trevor

El Sexico: Lestat

Breadstick: Sidon

HP OfficeJet Pro 8710 All-in-One Printer: Data

Toaster Oven: Roxy

Chief: Bowser

Comrade: Preston

Buns: Arthur

Babe: King Dice

[thegrangerarchives]

Unspoken Words by @lilithshadefanfic

Hermione arrives at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries in established labour. Panic grips her as the realisation hits that her Healer is last man she had hoped to see, Draco Malfoy.

Rated: E; Chapters: 1; Words: 7606 

→ Links: Archive of Our Own and Fanfiction.net

[hermioneshipsgalore]

Dramione Pregnancy Fic

Truth or Evidence? by  mere_whispers | PG-13 | | [HP Bun in the Oven] Prompt: #H16

Hermione has been having a rough couple of days. That's it. End of story. Or, at least it should have been. But, Draco doesn't believe her. He has his own theory, actually, that she recognizes as a bunch of impossible rubbish. But... is it, really?

Approximate Word Count: 5,659 Warnings/Contains: Profanity.

Author’s Notes: I struggled with this one, I don't even know why! Anyways. We're here, now. So... This has a base of humour and the icing is pure angst. I couldn't exactly blend in a Homemaker!Draco into the plot, but it's close enough, I'd say. I've used all of the Optional Lines, though, because they were great! I enjoyed writing this, despite all the struggles, and I'm seriously pleased with the outcome. I hope the readers would enjoy it, as well.

[violetclarity]

like yes I’ve been craving a veggie burger and fries all week but am I really at the point where I’m ordering one (1) burger to go on a saturday night??

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

just wanna say that i absolutely love how you've created your own little world for your jily fics...i loved the bachelor au and so i got super excited to see that bonnie and isabella are gonna be side characters in this one. your work really stands on its own at this point its so very slightly connected to hp and your characters are so engaging and original !! it really shines through how much you love all the characters and makes your writing a joy to read :)

Thank you so much! There's just something really nice about having this little pool of people with their own lives that I can check in on (although tbh I TOTALLY forgot that Isabella and Lily have the same birthday so I am rectifying that in the next chapter of CYOsA) and see how they're doing. So for this fic it was like, hmm, the characters are nearing 30 and Bonnie and Isabella have obviously been together for a lot longer within this world because they didn't have to meet on a reality TV show, so what would they be doing? Well, I guess they've already been married and they both definitely want children so why not give them a wee little bun cooking away in the oven to be excited about??? And that way when Isabella gives birth I can ask for name suggestions in my author's note!!! So it's a fun way to add another interactive element to the fic as well!

[undertale-cookbook]

Cinnamon Bunnies

"These cinnamon rolls come from the lovely monster named Viola Lapin who lives in Snowdin Town. It's her own special recipe: cinnamon rolls shaped like cute little bunnies!"

INGREDIENTS:

1-1/2 cups warm (but not hot!) whole milk, 105°F - 110°F

5 tsp instant dry yeast

2 tsp light brown sugar

1 stick (1/2 cup, 8 tbsp) butter, melted

2 large eggs

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 tbsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

1/8 tsp ground cloves

1-1/2 cups white granulated sugar, separated

2 tsp vanilla extract

(For icing)

1-1/2 cups cream cheese

1 stick (1/2 cup, 8 tbsp) butter, melted

3 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/8 tsp salt

Ground cinnamon, for sprinkling

INSTRUCTIONS:

In a large bowl, combine the warm milk, yeast, and brown sugar, mixing lightly. Let sit for 10 min., or until the yeast starts to foam

Once the yeast foams, add 4 tbsp of the melted butter, 1/2 cup white sugar, and both eggs. Mix until combined. Slowly sift in the flour, a little at a time, mixing as you add it

When most of the flour has been used up and a dough forms, transfer the dough to a flat, floured work surface

Knead the rest of the flour into your dough for approx. 10 min., until it is tacky (not too sticky, but not dry)

Grease a large bowl with neutral oil or cooking spray. Add your ball of dough and cover with a damp cloth. Let it rest for at least 1 hr or until it has doubled in size

Once rested, transfer your dough to a lightly greased, flat surface and roll it out until it is 1/2 inch thick

Spread a thin layer of softened butter onto your sheet of dough. In a small bowl, mix together the rest of the white sugar and spices. Sprinkle generously onto your buttered dough sheet

Cut your dough into thirds: 2 larger thirds and one smaller. Roll each third into tubes (two tubes should be equal in size, the third should be thinner). Cut each tube into an equal number of rolls/sections, each about 1 inch thick

Place to look like bunnies (see picture*) on one or two baking trays lined with parchment paper (keep separate bunnies at least 2 inches apart from each other, or they may multiply)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Cover you tray and bunnies with plastic wrap and let rest until they've visibly expanded, at least 30 min.

Once expanded, brush your cinnamon bunnies with the remaining 4 tbsp of melted butter, then bake for 20 min or until golden brown on top (cooking time may vary; check every so often to make sure they're not getting burnt, or, of you like them soft on the inside, not overdone)

While your cinnamon bunnies bake, combine all of the icing ingredients (except optional cinnamon) and beat on high speed with a hand mixer until smooth. Spread it over your cinnamon bunnies while they are still warm so the icing gets melty and spreads. If desired, sprinkle with a little more ground cinnamon and enjoy

"Cinnamon Bun" - Heals 22 HP. "A cinnamon roll in the shape of a bunny."

*(picture below)

Note: the "ears" are created by cutting the end of not-rolled portion of the cinnamon roll in half lengthwise, then arranging them as so ^

[xonceinadream]

Currently

[ Prompts tentatively being accepted for: Glee (Klaine, Seblaine, Sebklaine) ]

Writing/Posting Klaine Advent: Day 3 of 24 Writing For: Scarry Fest due February 28 Signed Up For: HP Bun in the Oven due March 13 Writing For: Harry Potter Rare Pair Fest due March 15 Writing For: Marauders AUpril due March 25 Signed Up For: H/D Mpreg Fest due April 30

[lilithshadefanfic]

The Malfoy Heir

Photo manipulation and digital illustration by LilithShade.

Created for the HP Bun In The Oven Fest.

[ao3feed-dramione]

Unspoken Words

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3aWZ2Oo

by LilithShade

Hermione arrives at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries in established labour. Panic grips her as the realisation hits that her Healer is last man she had hoped to see, Draco Malfoy.

Words: 7606, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley

Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy

Additional Tags: Pregnancy, Healer Draco Malfoy, Porn With Plot, Drunk Sex, One Night Stands, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Post-Hogwarts, HP BITO 2020, Hp Bun In The Oven 2020

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3aWZ2Oo

[lee-bella]

HP Fest News Brief: January 12, 2024

There are many HP fests starting in January. In case some of the announcements got lost in the flood of news, here's a summary of fest announcements I'd posted on Potterfests on Dreamwidth in the past 2 weeks.

Prompt Challenges (sign-up/claiming not required)

Good Godfather Sirius Black Fest: Sirius & Harry gen. Runs from January 1 to 31.

Rare Pair Shorts Winter Prompt Extravaganza January Challenge: Runs from January 1 to 31.

Riddle Fest: Prompts released. Works due on March 16.

HP Animagi Week 2024: Prompts released. Runs from April 8 - 14.

Open for Prompting

Post-Deathly Hallows Harrymort Fest: Harry/Voldemort. Prompting ends on January 17.

LCDrarry 2024: Draco/Harry. Prompting ends on January 17.

HP Bun In the Oven Pregnancy Fest: Prompting ends on January 18.

Draco Tops Harry Fest 2024: Prompting ends on January 20.

Harry Potter Mythology Fest: Prompting ends on January 20.

For the Love of a Weasley Fest: Prompting ends on January 22.

Snarry-A-Thon 2024: Severus/Harry. Prompting ends on January 23.

HP Animated Fest: Prompting ends on January 26.

HP Abandon Ship Fest: Gen works. Prompting ends on January 31.

Wizarding Olympics Fest: Prompting ends on February 5.

The Great Wizarding Feast Fest: Prompting ends on February 29.

Open for Claiming and/or Sign-up

Severitus Big Bang: Severus & Harry gen. Pitching ends on January 28.

A Devious & Diverse New Year 2024: Claiming ends on February 23.

Truly Madly Deeply Fest: Claiming ends on February 26.

HP Springtide Festival: Claiming ends on March 28.

The Sub!Draco Fest 2024: Draco/Hermione. Claiming ends on March 31.

The One Direction Fanfiction Fest: Claiming ends on July 23.

There are many other HP fests happening right now that aren't listed on here. For the full list, see HP Fest News Round-up.

[headcanonsandmore]

Hello. Hope you're having a good day 😀. Do you write fanfics or have any fanfic recs? I'm dying for some good HP fics that treat Ron with the respect he deserves.

Hello! Yes, I am; hope you are too! 

Yes, I do write fanfiction! I have a Fanfiction.net account, and an AO3 account. 

Ron x Hermione fanfiction;

April Fool by A is for Amy. Six year one-shot The other Gryffindors conspire to trick Ron and Hermione into admitting their feelings for one another. Rated K.

Mental by Penny in the sky. Gryffindor celebrates its Quidditch Cup victory. But while Harry’s not there to ponder the influence of dimly lit rooms and Butterbeer, Ron and Hermione are. And they experience this influence first-hand. Set during ‘Half Blood-Prince’. Rated T.

Kiss of the Fire by Star.Flash.17. Romione one-shot set in the summer before book 7. Rated T.

The Last Summer by HurricaneRosie. Hermione struggles to control her feelings for Ron in the summer before the seventh book. Rated K+.

The For and Against List by Pinky Brown. Hermione tries to talk herself out of liking a particular boy (no prizes for guessing which one) the way teenage girls have been doing since time immemorial: she makes a For & Against List. Rated T.

In this Firelight by Oppugnorhr12. A missing moment from book 7 about how Ron and Hermione ended up falling asleep holding hands. Rated K.

Eye Flirting by RonaldandMione. Ginny convinces Hermione to try something to get Ron’s attention during their stay in Grimmauld Place before fifth year. K+.

Not Just Handsome by HPLives. Hermione gets confused over her feelings for Ron after she overhears the other Gryffindor girls rating their male classmates by attractiveness. Rated T.

Seven Simple Years by HalfaSlug. A collection of Romione missing moments from all seven books. Rated K+.

Chapstick by TMBlue. Hermione intervenes with chapstick when she notices how chapped Ron’s lips are. Set at the start of sixth year. Rated K+.

Kiss the Girl by Weasleyismyking540. Romione AU confession. Rated K+.

Freckles, Cats and Candy by OrangeLovePerson. Ron and Hermione visit Hogsmeade in third year. Rated K+.

The Love In His Eyes by LovingNerdLife. Over the years, Ron Weasley has developed the habit of staring at Hermione Granger while she reads. While doing so, he reflects on how it came to be, without being aware that someone has noticed what he’s doing. Rated K+.

Late Night Snack by AloeMilk. Whilst staying at the Burrow after the second war ended, Ron goes to get food during the night, and finds Hermione in the kitchen. Adorableness ensues. Rated K+.

Seven simple years by Half A Slug. A collection of Romione missing moments from throughout the book series. Several of the chapters are from Ron’s perspective. Rated K+.

“Of Hearts and Heroes” by Emmilyne. Canon-divergent Romione fic that has the two teenagers grower closer in the summer between fifth and sixth year. Treats Ron with more respect than most fanfiction written in the 2000s did. It subverts a lot of the tropes about the character that were common-place at the time (for example, Ron’s apparent “dumbness” being a clever ruse used by him to get out of tough situations). Rated M, but (if you’re like me) you can easily skip over the saucy bits and not miss any plot threads.

@diva-gonzo‘s  The Ron Weasley Chronicles, which is Ron centric but also not focused on his relationship with Hermione but as related to his work as an Auror, with Harry and other Aurors.

Tangled, by @burgundydahlia. A plot to bring down one of the Wizarding world’s prominent business leaders brings two friends back together after years of separation. But will their reunion be bittersweet? And what will happen when they realise nothing is as it seems? It’s not completed just yet.

Not as a last resort (parts 1 and 2) by Arabella. An AU Romione fanfic about Ron and Hermione having to spent the night inside Hagrid’s cabin due to a snowstorm, and having to share a bed (one of my favourite fluff tropes), as well as discussing the upcoming 2nd Yule Ball. Not rated, but I’d give it a K+ to a mild T.

@hillnerd‘s “The Wonderful Won-Won”.  Being a teenager is difficult at best- but throw in a dose of flirtations, insecurity and snogs- well that makes it even worse. Ron is torn about his emotions regarding Hermione. For now he throws himself into Lavender. Starts off with that pairing, but is firmly Romione. Rated M, but several of the chapters are ace-safe (and I do believe Hilly made a version of the series that is completely ace safe throughout, so I’d suggest asking them as well).

Ron x Harry fanfiction;

‘Engaged’ by I’mdeadsothere. All around Harry everyone is getting engaged, leaving Harry to wonder if he’ll ever have the same honour. Especially when the one person he truly loves, well, it’s complicated. Rated T. Contains strong language.

‘Beds’ by I’mdeadsothere. Now that the war is over Harry treats himself by buying a nice big fluffy bed. Only it’s too nice, too fluffy, and WAY too big. Ron has the perfect solution, but it’ll change a lot more than just how Harry feels about his bed. Rated T. Contains strong language.

“Harry Potter And The World That Went Bloody Insane” by The Slice. “I know something you don’t know” is, apparently, the essence of Harry Potter’s love life. Harry’s certain that the world has been reading one too many romance novels, but then, Harry’s always been a bit oblivious. Featuring Protective!Attentive!Caring!Ron and Oblivious!Harry in their stinky flat and everyone shipping Harry/Ron. It’s awesome.

(Harry x Ron) + (Ron x Hermione) fanfiction;

(WARNING- FLAGRANT SELF-PROMOTION) There’s also my own ‘Having trouble sleeping?’, which is about Ron being the crush of both Hermione and Harry. It doesn’t have Ron choosing one person over the other, but focuses more on why Ron is so loveable. Rated T.

Ron x Luna fanfiction;

‘Energy’ by RoseyAshes. Ron has a certain energy about him that Luna can’t help but pick up. Ron/Luna one shot, all fluff! Allusions to explicit scenes.

‘Buns in the oven’ by KateKintail. Some Ron/Luna domestic fluff.

Other pairings that have Ron as a side character;

(WARNING- FLAGRANT SELF-PROMOTION) A Bond Between Us by Headcanonsandmore. Ginny Weasley is struggling to control her growing crush on Luna Lovegood. However, after a charm goes wrong in class, the two of them are joined together for a day. Will Ginny be able to keep her feelings for her friend in check? Find out in this adorably fluffy fic, full of blushes, bashful looks and hand-holding. (Romione as a side pairing, rated T just in case)

Ron x Neville fanfiction;

There for You AU after OotP. For his own safety, Neville has to spend part of his summer at Grimmauld Place with the Weasleys. In Harry’s absence, Neville and Ron start to form a friendship…

Hope you like these, anon! Thank you for the ask!

[hermioneshipsgalore]

Theomione Angst

Not Meant To Be by articcat621 | M | Angst | HP Bun in the Oven Fest Entry [HP Bun in the Oven Fest] Prompt: #A71

Not all stories have happy endings.  

Approximate Word Count: 638 Warnings/Contains: Sensitive Topic –ectopic pregnancy, alluded termination of pregnancy, heavy angst, grief, trauma

[rosevalleynb]

Come join the HP Bun In The Oven Fest!

Prompting is now open!

[lilithshadefanfic]

HP Bun in the oven Fest Anon Masterlist!

Four Dramione or Dramione+ pieces this year :)

https://hp-bunintheoven.livejournal.com/63590.html

[emmatrustsno-one]

Food (and class) in Harry Potter A (lengthy) guide for fans who aren’t British

After another user asked me some questions about British food as it appears in Harry Potter I decided to make a post about it, as no doubt other foreign readers have similar questions. I will talk about EVERYTHING so sorry if you have to scroll through loads of stuff you know to find what you want, but I have written it to be accessible to literally anyone and I don’t want to assume people know what something is just because I do.

Also, it was impossible to make the post without referencing class. The fact that it was impossible only goes to show how it’s probably impossible to understand the books in depth without an understanding of class in Britain. The whole texts are encoded with references to class which are so subtle (much like class itself) that even I, who grew up being encoded in the same way, had to analyse the texts to find them. At some point I’ll make a post about just class, but for now we’ll stick to the light-hearted topic of food!

Foods eaten at Hogwarts:

Main courses:

Probably to give a subtle wave to the fact that Hogwarts is the magical version of a public school, nearly all the food consumed there is traditional and British. A public school here is NOT a state-maintained school, it is a private, extremely expensive, prestigious, boarding school, e.g Eton, which only the children of people with a lot of money and a lot of influence attend. By default, these people are usually upper class or aristocracy. (Obviously in the wizarding world money isn’t a factor in school attendance, but nevertheless that is what Hogwarts is modelled on.) There is never any mention of processed foods at Hogwarts except chips and a few common desserts. Here is a list, with explanation, of foods mentioned there:

stew/casserole (meat and vegetables cooked together with stock for several hours)

roast beef and chicken (the two most commonly eaten meats here, I would say)

pork/lamb chops (cuts of those meats with a bit of bone through the top)

sausage (usually made with pig meat in the UK)

bacon (here it is larger and softer than in many countries)

steak (a cut of beef, usually expensive)

boiled (in water until soft, no skins), roast (in the oven until brown, no skins) and mashed (boiled and puréed, no skins) potatoes

chips (not crisps, of course, but rather fat French fries)

Yorkshire pudding (pancake batter which is cooked in a muffin pan in the oven until risen and crispy; originated from the county of Yorkshire and usually served with roast beef)

PLEASE NOTE THAT ‘PUDDING’ IS NOT NECESSARILY SWEET, NOR A MOUSSE-LIKE SAUCE THING. I MADE A BLOG POST LAST WEEK ABOUT ‘PUDDING’.

peas (usually small and taken out of the pod, a bit like petit pois, – garden peas; occasionally larger and softer – marrowfat peas; sometimes mashed up into a purée – mushy peas, which are usually served with chips)

carrots (peeled and either boiled or roasted)

gravy (like meat jus, but nowadays normally made from a flavoured powder that you add water to and stir. It’s brown and fairly thick)

ketchup (this one annoys me because no-one I know says ketchup – it’s tomato sauce, at least in the north)

sprouts (brussels sprouts )

steak and kidney pie (pastry filled with steak and kidney in a gravy)

PLEASE NOTE THAT PIE IS USUALLY SAVOURY HERE. We do have fruit pies, but if someone says ‘pie’ a British person will picture a savoury thing, probably with meat in it.

steak and kidney pudding (steak and kidney in gravy encased in suet pastry, which is a crumbly, soft pastry made from just suet, flour and water. It is steamed, not baked, usually)

sausage rolls (a staple of British lunchtime foods – sausagemeat wrapped in a flaky pastry and eaten hot or cold)

jacket potato (also called a baked potato, it’s a whole potato baked in the oven with the skin still on until it’s crisp on the outside and soft on the inside, and is usually served with cheese in it)

porridge (oats cooked in milk or water, often called oatmeal in other countries)

marmalade (jam made from citrus fruits, usually orange)

PLEASE NOT THAT JAM IS NON-CITRUS FRUIT AND SUGAR COOKED UNTIL IT SETS INTO A SPREAD.

Desserts:

jam tart (a small, open pastry case with jam in it)

ice cream (the most common flavours here are vanilla, chocolate and strawberry)

apple pie (pastry case with sweetened apples)

treacle tart (pastry case with a sweet, thin filling made from golden syrup and breadcrumbs, not treacle)

éclairs (popular French cream cake – long choux bun filled with cream and topped with chocolate)

jam doughnuts (dough fried in oil and filled with jam, most often strawberry)

jelly (called jell-o in some countries – flavoured gelatine)

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH JAM – AMERICANS CALL JAM JELLY.

rice pudding (short grain rice cooked for several hours in milk and sugar until it forms a thick mixture not unlike sweet porridge)

custard tart (pastry case filled with an egg, milk and sugar mixture which has been baked until set)

spotted dick (steamed suet pudding, which is like a warm sponge cake, filled with raisins and served with custard)

chocolate gateau (fancy chocolate cake with cream on top)

trifle (layered fruit, jelly, sponge cake, custard and cream – a classic)

mint humbugs (a hard mint to freshen your breath after eating)

At Christmas:

roast turkey (the meat we traditionally eat at Christmas)

chipolatas (tiny pork sausages)

buttered peas (just peas with a bit of butter on the them)

cranberry sauce (cranberries and sugar cooked together until set – served with savoury foods like turkey – it’s not as sweet as jam)

turkey sandwiches (literally the entire country eats this on Christmas night to use up some turkey)

Christmas cake (very rich, dense fruit cake topped with a layer of marzipan and then a layer of icing)

Christmas pudding (hot, very rich steamed pudding made from dried fruits, nuts and suet, often served with brandy sauce)

crumpets (these aren’t a Christmas food, they just happen to eat them at Christmas. They are round, flat buns, though not exactly bread, with holes in them, that you toast and butter. Often people eat them for breakfast, or, like in the book, as a snack at night. They are savoury, not sweet)

mince pies (small pies filled with a mixture of dried fruits, sugar and brandy – sweet, not savoury – they were made with minced meat a few hundred years ago, and the name mince pie has stuck)

fudge (a type of sweet made by heating sugar, butter and milk until it sets)

During the Triwizard Tournament:

bouillabaisse (French fish stew/soup that hardly anyone here has heard of/would try!)

goulash (Eastern European stew made with meat and paprika that a lot of people have at least heard of and would try!)

blancmange (French dessert which is a basically white, almond-flavoured jelly that some people have heard of and a few would try)

It’s necessary to mention here, how the fact that Hermione knows what the bouillabaisse is and has tried it is a DEFINITE indicator of class. She is upper middle class. I’ll talk more about why when I do a class post, but for now it’s enough to say that no working-class child, unless they have family ties to France or have learned about it in French at school, would even know what it was and would be very unlikely to try it if given the opportunity. You can’t read that scene, as a British person, and not understand that Hermione comes from a cultured, moneyed background.

It’s also interesting to compare these foods with the foods usually served at state-maintained schools at the time HP was written: we are talking about fatty, greasy, processed rubbish with no nutrition at all, e.g. turkey twizzlers, nuggets, pizza, chips, hot dogs, cakes. You do still find such foods in state schools but normally alongside more healthy options. Since Jamie Oliver’s war on school food things are a lot better, but the point is that the food at Hogwarts is a clear nod to the privilege of the pupils: working-class kids wouldn’t have been able to eat things like that at school. My primary school (ages 4-11) served stew sometimes, with overcooked vegetables, but that’s all, and my secondary school served pizza, hot dogs, nuggets and chips every day and that was it.

Foods mentioned but not eaten in the Great Hall:

sherbet lemons (real sweets, they are strong, lemon-flavoured hard sweets that contain a powder that makes your tongue fizz)

custard creams (biscuits made from 2 square simple biscuits with vanilla cream sandwiched between them)

Foods eaten at the Weasleys’:

Food is one of the main ways by which the Weasleys are coded as working-class. Everything they eat is either a comfort food your grandma makes or some cheap thing you eat and don’t mind but wish was something else.

corned beef sandwiches (corned beef is beef which has been processed and salt-cured and has the mushy consistency of cat food. It was popular during the war, when meat was scarce and rationed, and is associated with poverty and lack of better meat. That isn’t to say that people don’t like it, but it is true that many people don’t)

Speaking of processed meats, the Weasleys eat a lot of sausage and bacon, which are very popular but also available cheaply.

chicken and ham pie (this is the only time I can think of that it is mentioned that the Weasleys were having a ‘proper’ meat, as in unprocessed, and if I remember correctly it was for Harry’s birthday, so a special occasion. It’s pastry filled with chicken and ham in a white sauce and is the sort of thing your grandma probably made)

boiled potatoes (they do have boiled potatoes at Hogwarts, but alongside other types of potato.)

It’s hard for me to explain why, but boiled potatoes, specifically, have a working-class connotation. You are definitely more likely to eat boiled potatoes in a working-class family. Here are 2 anecdotes form my life about boiled potatoes to illustrate my point!

1. I know someone from a privileged background. Her father was an electrical engineer who held government contracts. She went to a grammar school (a school that’s free but you have to pass a test to go to) and lived in an affluent city where one of the main public schools is. As soon as she opens her mouth you can hear that she’s from an upper middle-class background. I once discussed cooking dinner with her and said I was making boiled potatoes. She scoffed and said she never did as she couldn’t see the point – if she has boiled them she might as well mash them.

2. At university my friend started going out with a guy from a solid middle-class background. His parents had a second home in South Africa, where his father worked for part of the year. They were staunch Tories (supported the political party to the right of the centre). She and I once discussed making dinner and she said it was her turn to make it tonight and the guy wanted sautéed potatoes. Her exact words next were “he’ll just have to make do with boiled, I’m too tired”.

Somehow the fact that the Weasleys eat boiled potatoes makes them working-class, an under-class. It’s somehow seen as lazy and simple by people from higher classes.

rhubarb crumble (stewed rhubarb topped with a flour, butter and sugar mixture that goes hard and crumbly, usually served with custard)

Again, this is a working-class mainstay. Many people used to grow rhubarb in their gardens because it grows easily and is hardy in our weather. Add a bit of sugar and it’s an almost free dessert.

chocolate pudding (not to be confused with chocolate pudding in American terms, ours is a suet pudding made with chocolate and served hot, usually with a chocolate sauce)

Foods eaten with the Dursleys:

a bun from the bakers (could be either a sandwich made from a bread roll or a sweet bun such as an iced bread roll, without more info it’s not clear. The word ‘bun’ is used to describe many things, and it’s different depending on where you are in the country. For example, I would never say ‘bun’ and mean sandwich but I know some people do. I personally picture an iced bun).

knickerbocker glory (an ice cream sundae)

fruit cake (dense cake made with dried fruits, like a dressed down version of Christmas cake, seems quite old-fashioned now)

roast pork (a joint of pork roast in the oven, often with a layer of fat over it that goes crispy)

soup (a common starter)

salmon (usually a whole fish, baked or poached)

lemon meringue pie (the French dessert anglicised – a pastry case filled with a layer of set lemon cream and topped with meringue)

grapefruit

I want to pause at this point to point out how clear it is that the Dursleys are higher class than the Weasleys. For one, Uncle Vernon just buys whatever he fancies from the bakers for lunch but Ron (and presumably the whole family) are given sandwiches made by Mrs Weasley, containing what they can afford. Secondly, roast pork and salmon are expensive and only eaten by people with more than the basic amount of money and even then really only on special occasions. Sometimes people will have a salmon on the buffet at their wedding, for instance. It’s a far cry from processed meats and chicken and ham pie. Not least because you can make a decent pie out of even poor quality meat, but to make a good roast, especially if you are trying to impress your boss, you need a good quality joint. Thirdly, if on a diet it’s unlikely someone working-class would eat grapefruit for breakfast. I know working-class kids who wouldn’t even be able to identify a grapefruit. Moreover, the fact that they served the meal to Vernon’s boss in three courses, followed by after-dinner mints shows that they either are middle-class, or, more likely, trying to appear so. The Weasleys just have their main course and pudding, even on special occasions. I don’t think I’ve ever had a starter in my life except for in restaurants. Furthermore, at the zoo Dudley and Piers get ice creams and Harry gets a lemon ice lolly. I don’t think there is any more striking a symbol of a working-class person in the 90s trying to treat themselves than cheap lemon ice lollies! All ice cream stands had one and it was always the cheapest thing. By doing this, Vernon is showing that he views Harry as a lesser-class than himself and Dudley. Lastly, while Petunia is preparing the meal for Vernon’s boss, Harry is given bread and cheese for his supper. Bread and cheese conjures up images of Scrooge sitting in the dark eating alone because it was so cheap: Victorian levels of poverty and definite allusions to being a lesser-class.

On a side note, the Dursleys still got their milk and eggs from the milkman, a man from a dairy who delivered to people’s houses in the mornings. In those days lots of people still did, and you do still get milkmen now to a lesser degree. My grandparents got their milk from the milkman and so did my husband’s parents, up until at least 2000.

whipped cream and sugared violets (I had to look up sugared violets myself. I think I am probably too working-class, or possibly too northern, to have heard of them. They seem to be the head of the violet flower dipped in egg white and sugar so that it becomes hard. I have never heard of putting them in cream to make a pudding before.)

Additional foods relating to Hagrid:

birthday cake (usually sponge and covered in icing. In Britain, unlike many countries, you do not buy your own birthday cake: your parents usually get one for you)

rock cakes (these are real, though I grew up calling them rock buns. They are a basically a blob of cake cake batter with currants in, baked for a short time. They are like a cross between muffins and cookies)

treacle toffee (hard black toffee, often eaten around bonfire night)

stoat sandwiches (as far as I am concerned these are not real! I have never heard of anyone eating that! A stoat is small animal like a weasel)

Foods sold by magical establishments, e.g. Honeydukes/the Hogwarts Express:

these foods don’t exist outside HP, but could theoretically be made –

pumpkin juice

pumpkin pasties (a pasty is like a pie but the pastry is filled and then folded over, not topped with a lid)

chocoballs filled with strawberry mousse and clotted cream (clotted cream is thick, rich cream that has thickened naturally, not by whipping)

mulled mead (you can get mead, though it’s not common, and mulled just means it’s cooked through with various spices)

cherry syrup with soda (to us, soda is carbonated water, not pop)

these foods aren’t real but are based on real ones –

Drooble’s best blowing gum (wizard bubble gum)

liquorice wands (you can get sticks of liquorice

fizzing whizzbees (imo based on a sweet called a flying saucer, which is a     thin, rice paper-like shell shaped like a flying saucer and filled with sherbet

exploding bonbons (bonbons here are round and soft, sometimes with a powdery centre, which break apart easily and fill your mouth

these foods are real –

peppermint creams (icing sugar mixed with peppermint oil until soft but firm, often coated in chocolate        

mars bars (chocolate coated nougat-cream and caramel)

these foods aren’t real and aren’t really based on anything, as far as I can tell –

                                                  butterbeer

                                                  gillywater

                                                  sugar quills

                                                  ice mice

                                                  cockroach cluster

                                                  blood pops

                                                  toothflossing stringmints

                                                  pepper imps

                                                  cauldron cakes

these foods weren’t real before HP but now exist as part of the HP merchandise –

Bertie Bott’s every flavour beans (they are like jelly beans)

Chocolate frogs

Two final things. Firstly, on the topic of class it is worth noting that Lupin felt he had to apologise for only having teabags. Literally nobody who is working-class drinks tea in any other form than teabags 99.9% of the time. You can get loose leaf tea, which is seen as fancy, nicer and is certainly more expensive. I got some for Christmas last year, for instance. Nobody working-class would ever even bat an eyelid at someone offering them tea in bag form. It’s totally normal. The fact that Lupin apologises shows that he is acutely aware that he is more lowly than the average Hogwarts teacher. He is embarrassed by something that most of the population find normal. He feels under them, in class terms. Even though he knows Harry grew up without privilege (though the Dursleys themselves are middle-class), now that Harry is part of Hogwarts he has ascended enough in class terms that Lupin is concerned he will disappointed to have tea from a bag. This goes some way to showing how class isn’t just about money: it’s about tastes and habits.

Secondly, in compiling this post it became really clear that sausages are a leitmotiv marking times when Harry feels cosy, familial and homey. The first thing Hagrid does is cook him sausages, which represent being lifted out of the world of cold and hunger he is living in; becoming someone who others care about and want to care for. When he is rescued to the Weasleys in CoS and is blown away by the wizarding house and starts to feel at home and safe, the first thing Molly does is feed him loads of sausages. Sausages are often mentioned at breakfast at Hogwarts, especially when Harry is in a good mood. Perhaps it was unconscious and JKR herself associates sausages with feelings of family and at home-ness.

One final thing and that’s it, I promise. While writing this it struck me how different what I mean when I say “privilege” is from what an American means when they say it. I have mentioned this before, and at some point will do a blog post about it, but race is bound up so intricately with American history and life that words like “privilege” are encoded with images of skin colour. I bet the average American read “privilege” and pictured a white person, but in the UK that wouldn’t be the case. Skin colour has nothing to do with it. Here, “privilege” means what you have access to, how valid other people see your tastes and way of life, what you have grown up doing, seeing, eating, hearing, believing. It is bound up inexorably with how much money you have, what you do for a living and where you live and, crucially, with your family’s status historically. That one thing is the reason that comparisons between death eaters and Nazis don’t really hold up: HP is about genealogy and not ideology.