#however we get there i can accept

[zukkaoru]

if you draw femzai without bandages i'm going put all of your internal organs through a paper shredder

[hanzajesthanza]

dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.

though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality

[theblankest123]

Ah lads it's happening again

(I've been slowly getting into TMA and i can feel the hyperfixation starting to develop)

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[krbk-notebook]

hey @real-life-cloud @thatsgaybro @lyricalvicki @tempestaurora @sweetietenya @greyladyblue @moumjn

we‘re either mutuals on my main (@pecuirlig), on here, or you follow this blog — and it looks like we all like krbk ! :‘)

first of all, feel free to decline <3

would anyone be interested in making a little krbk discord group or something? :‘)

as a casual fun hangout spot for people of similar ages (i think we‘re all 20+, most early 20s?), for talking about krbk (& maybe other ships/characters/shows etc too), sharing or talking about fics, or art, or whatever we want :‘)

i know i‘ve wanted to have a space like that for years tbh lol, since i haven‘t had the luck to meet anyone irl who‘s also into fandom or specifically krbk, back when tumblr group chats were a thing they weren’t very lively lol, and the krbk discord groups i‘ve checked out so far haven‘t had active members my own age.

i would be super happy if any of you might be interested too ! :‘) but i will continue to suffer alone lmao if you should not <3 (/lighthearted)

(btw— i‘m super open to other people joining this too, so please do feel invited if you are 20+ and you want something like this too ! i just only @'ed these people because there‘s been Some interaction between us already. not having @'ed you doesn‘t mean you‘re not welcome :‘) !)

[merioux]

im gonna be honest nobody in the ostc fucking likes me asides from my friends since a little something happened and it somewhat crapped down my "reputation" i guess. i need to come over that aand accept that if it wasnt over my designs and art id be given a weird look 24/7. lol. someone tried ruining my chances of being a guest artist of something just because we dont like eachother and someone else ripped off my oc because we dont like eachother people want me gone ahhhhhhhh i wish i could completely migrate to the lisa fandom but im a bit too young for that rn, atleast in my own opinion. i dont want to risk it taking a toll on my mental health considering lisa is one hell of a game LOL. i love this game but id prefer waiting that im a bit older to make it the "only" thing idk how to put it in words??? im bad at explainig aghhhhhh; i genuinely cant believe the community of a game so life ruining has been way nicer to me than a community of trading fucking objects with limbs like pokemon cards. idont really care anymore but its sad ppl dont really like me alot, however im glad ppl like my lisa stuff though i feel happier focusig on that and my friends an drawing . ah

funny cat video

[p0ison-moon]

I have what’s going to be a really unpopular take but please just hear me out. Lately a lot of fellow Jewish bloggers on this website have (rightfully!!) been getting annoyed by random people going into their inboxes and asking if they’re Zionist, how they feel about Israel, etc. And I totally empathize with that because I’m an anti-Zionist Jew so I spend a lot of time correcting people’s assumptions that I must support Israel because I’m Jewish. Furthermore, I want Zionism to stop being seen as a central, undeniable part of being Jewish because that makes Jews like me feel pretty unwelcome. And I am aware that those asks often accuse us of dual loyalty, an antisemitic stereotype. So I’m not saying bloggers should have to answer those asks, or that they can’t get mad about them.

However, I think bloggers are wrong when they say that they can’t affect or change what happens in Israel because they’re American Jews (or otherwise diasporic, but it is almost always Americans who say this), not Israeli Jews.

Look. It’s one thing if you just don’t want to get involved (although I am totally judging you). But I can name a billion different ways American Jews have changed things in Israel, and stuff we can do right now! For example:

- protesting our tax dollars paying for weapons and bombs Israel uses to kill Palestinians, by pressuring our elected representatives, senators, and president into taking a stand against Israel

- supporting the Not on Our Dime Act, which is aiming to prohibit tax-deductible donations from being used to fund illegal Israeli settlements in the West Bank

- working to change Jewish studies curriculum and summer camp + youth group programming to provide kids and students with more options than just Zionism, and a more complete + less biased education about Israel

- no tech for apartheid: Jewish Google workers protesting against Project Nimbus, which helps the Israeli government with surveillance of Palestinians

- using our position to educate people and make our opinions heard, so we don’t let Jewish Zionist organizations speak for us all and influence what gentiles think about Israel and current-day antisemitism

- I have my own opinions about the recent protests over Netanyahu’s judicial reform, but lots of American Jews supported them and they were definitely effective

- and that’s just a few of the many ways I’ve seen American Jews work towards creating real change in Israel. are we the only ones who can do this? no. but gentiles can’t shape the future of the American Jewish community, which altogether has quite a lot of influence in Israel. only we can do those things.

Saying that as American Jews our voices and actions don’t matter when it comes to Israel is actually such a weak, lame-ass excuse for refusing to take a stance for or against Israel. This isn’t something we get to be neutral about; silence equals support for Zionism.

That being said, I can’t control what individual people do. If you seriously want to refuse to support Palestine, fine. Whatever. Just please stop using “American Jews can’t help anyways!” as your excuse when that’s such a blatantly false claim.

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

15 (For the ZOMBIES ask game) :D

YAY ANOTHER QUESTION AH thank you bb <33 ask game here

15. unpopular opinion you have about anything related to zombies?

i'm gonna do a few cause i have a lot of thoughts heheh

firstly, addison isn't as annoying or unlikable as y'all keep saying she is. i get it, she's overly optimistic, very cheerful, and can do annoying things sometimes. news flash, all of these characters have at least one of those traits too (and some have even worse ones)

secondly, the only reason some of you guys refer to zombies as a white savior franchise is because meg is white. i know that sounds redundant but like, i know that at least half of you would stop calling it a white savior franchise if carla or kylee (or any other non-white actress) was cast as addison instead

and lastly, just because a lot of the original trilogy cast won't be in z4 does not necessarily mean that it will be bad, if it is then whatever, but we won't know till it comes out (and i'm saying this as someone whose favorite character is bonzo (along with zeddison but ya know, they're in the movie) so if i can chill, so can you guys)

[autisticjoshrusso]

all im saying is that buck is too used to assuming he's the problem and is the one that needs to change to work well in a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style. like he will absolutely internalize criticism that is coming from a place of his partner being triggered and trying to reassert their independence or make buck's behavior align with what they believe is "correct"/"safe". it's a toxic dynamic in the making and they BOTH need someone that's a better fit for them.

[witherbythesword]

.

[worldwhampion]

(spoilers of u haven't done the newest quest line)

(also sorry I haven't sent an ask in so long, I haven't played nms for a bit lol)

I'm really loving all the lore we got! those big Atlantis probe things from the expedition still show up in space, one pretty much outright stated that the probes are actually ancient escape pods from the destruction of korvax prime. And the korvax were in there for so long atlantideum began to grow out of their bodies, creating a structure similar to the ones you mine sentience echoes from!

Also unrelated theory, but I think if the first spawn won they might've destroyed the universe accidentally. They think the universe is not a simulation and is knowable. This combined with their greed and probable lack of environmental concern, means they probably would grab any gravitino balls they can, and with no sentinels around to drive them off and mend the wound in spacetime, the damage would pile up and the simulation would break.

HIII took me long enough to answer your ask, I apologize. I’m free now so let’s get to it!

It’s going to take a while for me to do the autophage quest myself since i actually haven’t finished the artemis path yet (but at this point i do know already it inside out). However i did watch playthroughs and i also made a decent transcript of the quest. And YOU BET i have some thoughts about this. Especially on atlantideum.

i. ATLANTIDEUM

(from world of glass lore archive server)

When you reveal atlantideum to the atlas something very interesting happens. From this piece of lore i’m pretty sure atlantideum is corrupted data- OF THE ABYSS. And the atlas does not react well to this data at all.

ATLANTIDeum. Are you seeing this. It’s literally like parts of the abyss. Call it abyss dust.

I think atlantideum are crystals which contain her (corrupted) data, or in any case you bet it’s related to wog. They’re probably coming straight from the world of glass, seeping into the simulations. These crystals are scattered all over the place, and lore-wise they’re probably multiplying on a pretty concerning rate at the moment. I think this is how the abyss is returning, by hauling her data back into the world. The world of glass is assimilating with the simulations if you will! She’s only able to do this because the atlas is literally falling apart as she proceeds with her girlboss plan. The atlas is weakening while she is growing stronger (she’s probably weakening the atlas too in the proces). They’re probably fighting for control over the systems, and she is definitely going for absolute power. You’re gonna need that if you want to save everything dying along with the computer that runs reality.

The atlas can’t do anything about the crystals (or data), because it does not have access to this data and cannot delete it from its systems. The abyss seems to be an entity acting separately from the system or the atlas, so you can say she is interfering with the simulations like a foreign entity. She is a subroutine of the atlas though, which has now gone rogue (see iii. FIRST SPAWN ACCIDENTAL UNIVERSE DESTRUCTION).

Thorn summed this up ON POINT. Being atlas… is suffering.

While the atlantideum hit made the atlas have an asthmatic attack, someone else smoked it up like nipnip. Nada took the abyss blunt very well.

The atlantideum gave nada data of the abyss, to me this is like injecting memories into your mind. Now we know that nada canonically likes smoking atlantideum! While the atlas is pro war on drugs. The traveller can become nada’s abyss blunt dealer.

ii. KORVAX ESCAPE POD

“And the korvax were in there for so long atlantideum began to grow out of their bodies, creating a structure similar to the ones you mine sentience echoes from!”

Sadly i don’t have that particular dialogue you mentioned about the korvax escape pod so i might miss a few details. I want to read it so if anyone finds it SEND IT TO ME STAT i need my lore like how nada needs their blunt.

The atlantideum item description reads:

Atlantideum can take over hosts, both mechanical and biological. I see this as the hosts coming under influence or under control of the abyss, probably depending on the amount of crystals they have stuck in their skin.

Finally we have a bit of clarification for the following lines:

(from the abandoned building logs)

I believe these beings to be the family glass. Sadly they never went beyond name dropping them but that doesn’t stop me from having theories. They are beings that live on in the world of glass who have probably lived in the simulations at first (before they died).

We have know seen the effects of glass/atlantideum on both mechanical and biological beings. For mechanical beings (like nada and the atlas) simply coming into close contact with the crystals is already enough to have an effect, while for biological beings they have to literally shove the shards into their flesh. Just like piercings. Except these piercings drain your life and also may or may not keep hurting forever. However in the end it’s all worth it for the eldritch knowledge.

It’s not said whether these crystals are really atlantideum (crystals containing data of the abyss specifically?), but this is probably what happens when you put it under your skin while also being biological. you get a cool piercing, AND you also become a vessel for intelligences unlike us (void milves).

The abyss can exert influence/control through not only nanites (in the water), but through atlantideum too? Well it is a literal substance named after her. The korvax in the escape pod definitely came under her influence too and became divergent by extension. She is pretty much the divergence personified. As for how the atlantideum got there, i’m thinking the abyss messed a little with the nanites in their body? I mean she is a master nanite bender, arguably the best one the simulations have ever seen. Not everyone can infest half the water in the known multiverse with nanites every day like she does casually.

The abyss does a lot of polluting, in water it’s nanites, on land it’s atlantideum crystals. She really just decided that environmental pollution is the best way to spread her presence everywhere. And you cannot deny that she is completely right since it’s working that well. This is like spreading microplastics which have the power to change reality itself.

In game you can refine atlantideum into nanites, by first refining it into pugneum and then to nanites. So nanites and atlantideum are pretty closely related.

iii. FIRST SPAWN ACCIDENTAL UNIVERSE DESTRUCTION

“Also unrelated theory, but I think if the first spawn won they might've destroyed the universe accidentally. They think the universe is not a simulation and is knowable. This combined with their greed and probable lack of environmental concern, means they probably would grab any gravitino balls they can, and with no sentinels around to drive them off and mend the wound in spacetime, the damage would pile up and the simulation would break.”

Oh man i have something for you.

(boundary failure logs)

The first spawn exploited a whole subroutine (ie the convergence) for their personal interests- on a multiversal scale. Since a subroutine is like a working part of the atlas itself, the exploitation might’ve done some damage to the system in terms of software (?) i mean can you still carry out whatever tasks you should be doing properly if you were subjected to gruesome slavery across the multiverse. you’d need godly multitasking skills for this. Not sure to what extent it really affected the system, but it would have done at least something.

Telamon did say that the entire enslavement of the korvax is a reflection of the atlas breaking down. The convergence, being modeled after earlier forms of the atlas, is kind of the atlas personified in the simulations. Now when you’re enslaved, you do break down mentally and physically. The korvax suffered because the atlas itself was suffering. And the first spawn might’ve been a reflection of the harm the atlas was facing. In the end the first spawn was genetically engineered into the gek, not completely wiped out but “mitigated” using their nanites. this could apply to the harm too, it’ll never be removed, only lessened. I find it very interesting how the korvax polluting the gek spawning pools with nanites is very much parallel with the abyss infesting the water with nanites as well. Both do this to get out of hard times, by trying to lessen the harm but never able to remove it completely. This does seems to be what the atlas is doing to try saving itself. The repeated universe resets are also a reflection in the simulations except it is more meta.

Now onto the balls!

If the first spawn did start grabbing gravitino balls left and right without a single care unchecked, then that means the atlas is. royally fucked. I’d say then it’s literally not able to keep running simulations anymore. Like they would end prematurely because it’d crash halfway through, as reflected by the reality weakening from unrestrained gravitino ball harvesting once they get to that part in history. whatever horrors the atlas is facing at the moment isn’t enough for this to happen. Recovering from brutal enslavement does sound better than the whole simulation straight up crashing down. You could always have it worse! Sparkle on!

[hella1975]

my sister is currently doing her nightly *douse myself in water for 5 mins despite it leaving PUDDLES EVERYWHERE BTW and then spend 20 mins applying imported skincare i spent all my money on* in SILENCE sans any form of music meanwhile she walked in on me having a party of one (1) at myself in the bathroom mirror to set it off of all things. it's a bit funny that we are related by blood

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

Somehow or another and very early in my life I came to understand very deeply that if I did not take care of myself I was not going to be taken care of in a way that was meaningful to me, and I think the great moral and corollary challenge of my life is that this is selfish and I need to stop trying to take care of myself and to accept that I am never going to be taken care of in a way that is meaningful to me

[redstrewn]

Thinking abt vere.......what is going on in his head. He's so selfish but he holds a soft spot for Ais. What is going on in his heart. I want to know

[fantasticalleigh]

thoughts about the new rey movie and people’s reactions to the announcement

i was gonna reblog a post about this and just slide my opinion in the tags but it’s getting to be an essay so i think it warrants its own post

i’m not trying to attack anybody with this but this has been rampant since the announcement and i have thoughts:

i understand and share in the opinion that ben solo is a wasted character and that he (and TROS and the sequel trilogy in general) was severely mishandled, and i would not be sorry to see more of him. adam was one of the best things about this new trilogy. i was hardly a star wars fan until the day i went to see TFA on opening day. that experience was something i’ll never forget and i fell in love with kylo/ben and rey from the second they both appeared on screen during their respective intros. without them i don’t think i would enjoy SW the way i do now.

i’m so happy for daisy to have this new opportunity to continue rey’s story. She deserves it.

And before you chime in--yes, Ben deserves for his story to be continued, too. No one’s ever really gone, and all that. if he comes back i will be screaming on the way to the theaters with the rest of you.

but i have seen so many people state outright since the announcement that they refuse to watch the movie if ben isn’t coming back.

i understand that sentiment, i do--none of us want to get burned again TROS-style. we want to see the dyad together and alive and happy. we want lucasfilms to get a friggin grip and just--DO BETTER.

and remember, this is my opinion, but it rubs me the wrong way when people say they won’t watch the movie without ben (and i’ve seen it said over and over and over both here and on instagram) because it’s sort of implying that rey has no value without ben, like she is not interesting enough on her own.

now i don’t actually believe that’s what people mean when they say that (at least, not everybody) but that’s the feeling i get from it. i love rey and ben equally and so i’ll take any new content with them in it, even if they aren’t together. will it hurt? will it be bittersweet? yeah. but imagine if the new rey movie gets a really low turnout and then disney execs look at the numbers and go ‘hmm--let’s not do that again’ and then a new possible trilogy is cancelled or any chance we get of maybe a dyad reunion is also gone. bc we all know the mouse listens to money above all.

i love rey. i think she’s a great character who has just as much potential as ben and i can’t wait to see what she can do in a film where she’s top billing (until they throw in a mark hamill cameo because we all know he’ll be in it to some degree) but my point still stands. and daisy is a great actress who brought such depth to rey that i’m so excited to see her return and i can’t wait to see her as rey again.

do i still have a tiny bit of hope that it will be better this time and that ben will return? yes. i’m not gonna lie about it. this clown makeup is tattooed on. but it’s a cautious hope and i’m trying not to feed too much into it, because the reality is that it’s rey who’s back and i love her so i’m going to support her because i think she’s interesting and compelling on her own, just as she was in TFA before she ever met Kylo/Ben.

[uncanny-tranny]

Regarding your post on suffering and thrive:

But many many other trans people have suffered sooo much - if I don't suffer, am I even worthy of being trans? I feel like a traitor for not suffering. Because they all had suffered and/or still suffer - and I'm taking the easy route. That's how it feels atleast.

Other people aren't you, at the end of the day, and we all have different burdens we carry. How can you be sure other people don't look at you and think, "wow how can they carry that weight on their shoulders?". And besides, needlessly suffering... how does this make you "more trans" or "less worthy" than identifying as trans in the first place? Why is suffering a litmus test for how true your identity is, or if you belong? Cis people don't have to suffer to be their gender or suffer in general for being cis to be valid, and that logic applies to trans people.

I'm not trying to argue with you, but I'm providing this point of view to challenge the idea that you need to suffer. You don't need to suffer, anon. You don't deserve to suffer. Trans people don't deserve to suffer. And honestly? The more trans people who don't suffer, the better. I want to see you thrive and be happy and lead a fulfilling life - however that looks for you. That is the best thing you can do for your trans self. I want you to try to internalize this, the idea that you deserve to be happy.