#yes i want to do many things together but if i have to do everything together i will literally kill us both /hyp /j
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ELABORATE ON OBSESSED!WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON!HOUSEHUSBAND JAKE PLEASE!!!!!! MY MIND IS GONNA EXPLODE – byeol
i'll be the husband jake plug no worries. warnings: jake is suppppppppperrrrrrrr needy omg.
It's normal, natural to him to do these things.
You're so tired after a long day, he gets it. the days feel longer to him sometimes though, despite your tired feet and aching back. You're his wife, he needs you.
So what if he's unemployed? He's employed to you. Will do anything for you. everything for you. happily and willingly, with so much love in his eyes every single fucking time he hears that lock on the door click open.
Time to reiterate. He needs you.
It's been weeks. He gets it. Stress, big promotion you're going for or something. He can't say he cares too much lately due to the neglect he's been dealing with.
After all the cleaning, he massages you, bathes you, tucks you in, kisses you gently, and doesn't dare ask for more from you. After all, you're expected to do so much, from so many people. Not him. Not ever. Until now. He's a man. For three days now he's been trying to remind you. Trying all sorts of subtle tricks. Some blatant ones too. Generous groping that goes rejected. A few heavy makeouts dwindling to a pop kiss and a tired "goodnight." More subtle ones, where he simply tries to dress well for you, clean far better than usual, make your favorite foods. He knows it's not because you don't want him but...you're so stressed. He could kill two birds with one stone if you'd just... "Baby." He had said last night, sinking under the blankets and prying your legs apart. "Just rest, this is all i need." He continued, implying that he would be perfectly happy helping you relax with some bedtime head. You had closed your legs on him, pinching your brows together with the same stressed out face. All day today, his brows have been equally knitted together. Stressed. Fucking horny. Is it cringe for him to do this? Yes. Does he care? No. Fuck no. And so, you come home just like any other day to the smell of dinner. It's sweet smelling, which is an indication that your husband wants something. Never does he serve dessert for dinner, but tonight feels like a welcome change because everything else just started not only feeling, but tasting too mundane. You were more surprised when you werent greeted by Jake at the door. He didn't take your things, or slide your jacket off of you. Which, that's fine. You don't need him to wait on you hand and foot. He just tends to like doing that for you anyway... You search in curiosity for him, following the sound of clanking pots and pans. The sound would give you a headache if it weren't for the image of him as you enter the kitchen. There he is. Hair pinned back with one of your headbands, apron on... only an apron. Cock lending quite a large tent as he turns to you. You know he's trying to smile genuinely, but you see a hint of pain behind his eyes. Desperate pain. Almost like he's begging you for something. Anything. And he is begging. Only when he drops to his knees and looks up at you with those eyes do you recognize how terribly you've been neglecting him. So much so that you didn't even let him eat you out, which wouldn't have expected anything on your part aside from an orgasm. This moment feels almost emasculating for him, you can imagine. Like you've deprived him of everything he needs from you in order to maintain order in this household. Arguably, you have deprived him. You can tell by how big his cock looks peeking from the hem of the apron, and those sad glassy eyes looking at you as if this is a last resort. "Baby, ple-" Jake starts to plead on the floor, the dessert he was cooking long forgotten. You're speechless at the image, finally feeling a tingle between your legs for the first time in months. You feel so apologetic alongside the tingle, realizing how much suffering he must have gone through to be doing this. After all, there's no way in hell you could have satiated this need within you without him. How he's managed to do it all this time is beyond you. ''Jake," You interrupt him, dropping your hands to his cheeks and tilting his face further up to you. "What do you need?" You see those glassy eyes become more tearful, probably from happiness by now. No words and no apologies need to be said at this moment. He sees your realization, and understands the lack of seeing to his needs to an extent. But this... this can't happen again. Nothing is to be said after that when Jake immediately goes for your pants, missing the taste of you so badly. He was right in knowing that even just the smell of you could satiate him. And it does, his cock heavy and leaking just from the sensation of the apron rubbing against him paired with the scent of your pussy that has been long neglected.
And he devours you, getting off at least twice there on the kitchen floor with his palm desperately working himself to each high. You could tell he didn't want you to feel like you needed to do anything for him but...let him. God, fuck, you feel so guilty.
So you make up for it. Right here, sliding down on him raw, letting the mess he's made of himself make a mess of you too.
"Baby, wait-" Jake chokes, working against his words by helping you slide down on him entirely. "Fuck, you're-"
"Shh." You sigh deeply, realizing how much you needed this too. "Just keep going," He does. Fucking you so desperately that you believe he cums in you at least twice from you adjusting alone, messing your thighs with sticky fluids, the kitchen floor, and himself. So much of it, you're so full of it already. Plan B isn't such a difficult thing to buy anyway. Especially after he chooses to keep fucking you, as if he worries he'll never get to do it again.
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Requesting Noah x reader where the reader experiences post partum depression after giving birth to their newborn baby girl.
Post partum depression is no joke and something so many women, including myself, have had to deal with. I wish it on no new mom. But, when you have a good partner who supports you entirely, it makes all the difference🥰
PostPartum
Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @nyxthedestroyerofworlds-deactiv @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @fadingangelwisp @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard
I held her in my arms like she was the most valuable thing in the world. To me she was. She was my daughter. She was the best part of me and her mother put together, a treasure created out of pure love.
I looked over at my wife, watching as she delivered the remaining proof of her pregnancy, feeling nothing but pride and respect for her. What I had just witnessed in the last thirteen hours was nothing short of an absolute miracle.
I had no idea how difficult it was for a woman to give birth until now. The strength and resilience I saw in her made me see her and all women in a whole new light. It was an indescribable yet incredible feeling.
She looked up at me, smiling her beautiful yet exhausted smile. She looked completely different now; she was a mother. I grinned back, offering her our daughter and gently laid her on her chest when she said yes.
"Noah, she has your nose and your eyes," my wife gushed, kissing our little girl's rosy forehead.
"She really does, doesn't she?" I marveled, unable to hide my grin. I kissed my wife's forehead, praising her over and over for what she went through for us. I had what I'd always wanted. I had my family.
Days after we came home were a struggle. The nights were sleepless, the days exhausting. The constant feeding and changing diapers was a lot of work I wasn't prepared for. But neither was my wife.
She started crying more than usual. At first, it was simple little tears, but then there were days where those tears lingered all day and sometimes into the night, too. They would lead into spurts of her doubting her ability to be a mother and caring for our baby the way she needed to be cared for.
That's when she would say things like, "Our daughter does better when I'm not around. Maybe it's for the best", or "I just want to disappear. All of this is too much."
I knew she was exhausted, not mentally prepared for any of this, so I did my best to help take the burden off her shoulders, hoping it would help. Sometimes it did, but most of the time I think it only made things worse.
A few weeks went by, and things began to mellow out some; with our daughter at least. We got into a routine and a schedule of sleep, making the nights more bearable.
But my wife would still have her spouts of irritability, sometimes waking up and starting things for no reason. It was usually over little things like dishes or clothes, but then it started to become bigger. She accused me of not being home enough and not helping out enough which would always end with her falling apart and crying again. It broke me.
I didn't know what to do, except hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, even though I wasn't so sure.
I would watch her during feedings and how she seemed distant from our baby, looking away, never making that mother to baby eye contact I read about in the "What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding" book Jolly bought me for my first "father's day". She was physically there, but not mentally.
Days after our daughter turned a month old, I came home to find her sitting on the couch in the living room, staring into nothing. She had the most distant spaced out look on her face, her eyes completely void of anything.
"Baby, are you alright?" I gently shook her. She finally snapped out of whatever daze she was in, shaking her head.
"Noah," smiling weakly at me.
"Baby, I'm really worried about you. You're not looking or acting like yourself," I finally admitted to her.
"I feel okay," she said weakly.
"When was the last time you ate?" I brushed some loose hair out of her eyes, running my hand down her cheek.
She thought for a moment then shrugged.
"Come on, I sighed, taking her hand and pulling her towards the kitchen. That's when the baby monitor went off, signaling our little girl was awake.
"Why don't you go get her, and I'll make us something to eat." My wife shook her head.
"No, you get her. She wants her daddy."
Letting go of my hand she made her way into the kitchen, leaving me in a bit of shock. I thought this was the worst of it, but I didn't know how much worse it could get.
Sex was out of the question. Not just for the first six weeks of course, but even past that. She closed herself off to me, not wanting me to touch her or be around her. It got to the point that she was sleeping on the couch and whenever I came into the room she would leave. I didn't understand any of it.
I eventually had to stay home from the studio and recording with the guys, having everyone bring everything to my house because I was too scared to leave her and the baby alone. Something was off with my wife, and I couldn't figure it out. I was taking it personally, thinking that the end of us had come and what was meant to be the happiest time in our lives was now becoming the hardest and most hurtful. I was done. I couldn't go through with it anymore.
One night, after our little one fell asleep after her feeding, my wife laid her in her bassinet then turned to leave the room.
"Don't leave. Please. Just stay with me for a minute," I asked, trying not to sound too desperate.
She turned and looked at me with tears in her eyes.
All the color was gone from her beautiful face, her complexion dull. Her hair, normally shiny and in her wavy ponytail, was unkept, piled high on the top of her head in a messy bun. Her sleep clothes were the same ones she'd worn for almost a week.
This was nothing but a shell of my wife and it killed me seeing her this way.
"Come sit with me, baby, please," patting the bed next to me. At first she hesitated, but then, surprisingly, she came and partially sat on the bed.
I tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling at her when she looked at me so sadly. I leaned in to kiss her, slowly so as to not startle her, and felt relieved when she kissed me back. Her hands found the back of my neck, twisting the longer pieces of hair at the nape of it. Her touch sent shivers down my spine. I was longing for her in ways I didn't even realize.
"I miss you," I confessed, placing my forehead to hers and holding her head between my hands.
"I know," she sniffed and I wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.
"I miss you, too, Noah."
"Then talk to me," I whispered, "tell me what you're feeling. Even if you can't make sense out of it. Just tell me anyway. I'll listen."
And she did.
I ran a hot bubble bath and for the first time in months I held my wife's beautiful naked body against mine, listening as she told me everything she had been going through.
I washed her hair, scrubbed her back, and helped her shave her legs, and in return, she gave me the best sex I'd had in a while.
Watching her face as she came on my cock buried up inside her made me cum, the feeling taking us both to a higher place we hadn't been in a while. It was euphoric.
Once out of the bath and fully dressed, she checked on our little angel still fast asleep, and for the first time since we brought her home, I watched the brightest, sweetest smile grace my wife's face as she looked down on her. It made my heart swell with joy.
We discovered that night, after some slight research that what she was experiencing was called postpartum depression.
It's something most new mother's get, some more extreme than others. We weren't throwing all our eggs into the basket of self diagnosis, but she promised to call her doctor the next morning and schedule an appointment.
Seven months old. Time flies when you're having fun. I watched my wife as she attempted to feed our angel sweet potatoes for the first time. Surprisingly, she liked them. A quarter of the jar later and we had a happy, sleepy little baby.
I cleaned her up and handed her to mama as she willingly and lovingly took her and cradled her just the way she liked it. With some warm milk, a soft blanket, and mama's arms, our little girl was out like a light.
My wife looked up at me, smiling brightly. She was herself again and there was no better feeling than to see her return. With a mild medication and a little therapy, postpartum depression slowly made its way out of our lives, restoring to me the woman I loved.
She apologized, over and over, time and time again, but I always reminded her there was nothing to apologize for. None of it was ever her fault.
"Thank you for sticking it out with me, Noah. Thank you for not running away."
I took her hand and kissed it, rubbing her growing belly carrying baby Davis number two. Now that we knew what to mostly expect, this little gem would be easier to handle.
"For better or for worse, Princess. You've got me and them, forever."
#noah sebastian#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens#bad omens cult#bad omens band#bad omens fanfiction
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Forgive me if this slightly incoherent- I'm sick rn but I had thoughts
The three probationary leagues are young, in a way many capes aren't at their ages (over 18 but none older then 22). The trio are new to being capes, their powers manifesting later then most, and even after their power came in, they took even longer to become capes. The three weren't friends before they joined the league, but as new kids, and the fact all three were always grouped together for training, they quickly became friends.
Being a member of the Justice League is everything they've always wanted, and there is nothing the three wouldn't do to keep their places.
Often training with Batman (they don't understand why a full human has so much power in the league, but they do understand why they hate him- Batman works them past where they thought they could go. He treats everything like life or death, and crushes the glamor of being a hero under fucking paperwork and regulations upon regulations.)
So when the trio learn, the hard way why the justice league has rules on proper item detainment, why, regardless of how normal or mundane the item seems, you tag and collect it, and submit a report on it, why panic.
As probationary recruits, they don't have the resources or access to try and fix this without telling one of the Founders. And the youngest of them, the 19 year old with powers of water manipulation, insists that Batman will kick them out for this, they have to find another way- well, the other two share a look and agree.
They argue about what to do and who to ask for help hiding their mistakes, as they stand in the rubble that was once half of a town of 40,000. After all, tornadoes are destructive, and magical, fire tornadoes? The damage is catastrophic. But in the end, they agree, Nightwing is the best person to ask. He's friendly with everyone, and he'll even swap moniter room shifts with people so he has watch with Batman, who is objectly thr worst to be trapped in small room with for 4 to 6 hours. Plus, he's sat with each of them at least once and promised making mistakes happens and you just have to stand up and keep moving.
So, they go to Nightwing, all three of them feeling a wave of relief when they see his smiling, cheerful face, and beg for help.
"Please, we've stopped the artifact, and it's been properly contained now. We just need you to sign a few things, so no one investigates the damages to the town. This is our dream, and we've learned from our mistake. Please, you always say we need to have each other's back. We just knew you would be able to help and understand."
But Nightwing's face freezes, at first, then hardens, in a way that scares the trio even though the smile never falters. His body, Shifts, in way that suddenly seems... threatening, and the trio nervously share glances, and slowly they start to understand where the real mistakes have been made.
Yes exactly this!!!!!!!!
#thank you for sharing#that’s exactly what I was thinking#just this ‘of course he’ll fix it I asked nicely’#bruce wayne#batman#dc#asks#anon#dick grayson#nightwing#jl#Justice league
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjust like the movies.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤor, 90s!jensen & starlet!reader.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤTEEN PEOPLE exclusive!
a never-before-seen inside look on america's favorite celebrity couple, starlet & jensen, only found here!
★ ˚⋆
it is, at this point, redundant to introduce the hollywood bombshell that is starlet, the new & upcoming actress taking over the scene. first met in days of our lives as a returning side character, starlet has since moved on to star in the likes of scream, terrifying the world with her breakout role of sidney prescott, and has since gone on to reprise that role, alongside her days of our lives character, many times.
on the other side of the dynamic duo, jensen ackles also got his notable start on days of our lives, working alongside starlet and, as he's stated before in multiple prior interviews, where he first met her.
"utterly captivating," he'd called her to an mtv interviewer, "there's no one else who can do the things that she does, and so effortlessly."
a romance should have been expected to follow after such high praises, though the way that it dominated the world was not so expected. their adorable acts of shameless pda & the blatant enamor that radiates from them when they are in a room together captured the hearts of millions.
today, we sit down with the both of them, and unpack just how they came to be.
★ ˚⋆
sat next to each other on two director's chairs is starlet and ackles, whispering to each other in soft voices, his palm atop hers on its back, the tip of his finger tracing shapes on her palm. he murmurs something, and her head falls back in a bright laugh.
jensen ackles (eric brady of days of our lives): oh! hey. didn't even hear you comin' in.
brittany johnson (interviewer for teen people): no, don't apologize! i'm just taking notes... capturing everything...
jensen: ah, gotta get all the details for the report, i see.
brittany, laughing softly: oh, yes. just doing my job. and how are you, starlet?
starlet (casey kennedy of days of our lives): spectacular, how are you?
brittany: can't complain at all when i get to spend my day with the both of you.
starlet, smiling warmly: oh, none of that. we're just people.
brittany: two of the most beloved of our decade, yes! did you anticipate such a positive response to your first public sighting together?
jensen: honestly wasn't even something that crossed my mind. i just wanted to take my girl to dinner.
starlet: it was so lovely, too. remember the hanging lights on the outside patio? and the candle in the center of our table?
jensen: is it a good time to tell you that i arranged that?
starlet: what? no!
jensen, laughing to himself: i did! called ahead and made sure we could have the patio to ourselves.
starlet: well, i guess we're both learning things today about my relationship, aren't we... oh, i'm sorry, i never asked your name.
brittany: brittany johnson. and that's alright, love, you were preoccupied! i'd never blame you for the honeymoon phase daze.
jensen: is that a real thing?
brittany: no, but i'm going to copyright it. it has a ring to it, doesn't it?
jensen: it does, yeah.
jensen's fingers lock into starlet's, raising her hand to his mouth to plant a chaste kiss on the skin.
starlet: sorry, this was probably a terrible idea, letting us do an interview together. we're not really good at anything but the... well, the honeymoon phase daze.
brittany: here, let me see if i can help keep the both of you on track, shall i? what were your initial thoughts when you first saw each other?
jensen: can i swear?
starlet: jens!
jensen, cackling: it's just a question!
brittany: i can censor it, don't worry. speak freely.
jensen: honestly, and i'm not exaggerating, she always thinks i'm lying about it, but my very first thought when she walked into the reading room was holy f**k.
starlet: no, it wasn't. he wasn't even looking at me, he was looking at his script—
jensen: s'called being sneaky, baby, i was lookin' over the edge.
starlet scoffs, her lips curling into a smile, betraying the feigned irritation.
brittany: starlet?
starlet: i was definitely intimidated. i don't remember my exact reactions, but we locked eyes at one point while reading our lines, and it felt—
jensen: just like a movie scene.
starlet: yeah. i honestly thought that when people said the world stops, it was just a cliche, but...
brittany: but it wasn't, not with you too.
starlet, warmly: exactly.
jensen: she wouldn't go out to dinner with me immediately. just so you're aware. this little lovelorn act she's portraying? wasn't immediate and was not as swoonworthy as you're lookin' at me like it is.
starlet: hey! i was being cautious—
jensen: hard to get. she was being hard to get.
brittany: you asked her out to dinner that very day?
jensen: that very day. i thought, "hell, if i don't swoop in, someone else will." so i swooped.
starlet: and missed the landing.
jensen, mock offendedly: because you were playing all coy!
starlet: since when is being cauti—
jensen: hard to get.
the two's words begin to overlap in an unintelligible argument, jumbled with laughter and tugging on their locked hands.
jensen: anyways. yeah, she rejected me at first. big ol' fat blow to the ego.
brittany: what eventually made her say yes? or, really, i should be asking you that, starlet.
jensen: yeah, baby, go on. i'm curious too.
starlet: it... well, it sounds really superficial. but we had this scene together, and our characters practically mirror the story of us, in a way, because— i don't know, something clicked. the director called cut after eric was about to kiss casey goodnight, and he leaned in, and...
...
...
starlet: it's really cliche, i know that's how it must sound, but it really felt like magic, standing in front of him, looking into his eyes and feeling the emotions he poured into himself while he was acting, and knowing that they were at least somewhat true, considering he'd asked me out a week or so prior. i thought, "god, why did i say no? what kind of idiot was i?"
jensen: very cute that your moment of clarity came from me kissing you. that's all i wanted to say— don't look at me like that. carry on.
starlet: that's it, you loser. unless you want me to continue stroking your ego.
jensen: there's a few other things you—
brittany clears her throat, her palms patting against the notepad rested on her thighs.
brittany, flushed: alright, well... i think that wraps it up for us! it was incredible to get to hang out with the both of you. do you... have any final comments? anything you want to tell the people?
jensen: yeah. go watch my pretty baby in scream 2. and thank you, brittany, for putting up with her, i know she gets a little ditzy and talkative—
starlet swats jensen's bicep, laughing along with him.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤEND TRANSCRIPT.
notes, nobody look too close at the transparent ok its shoddy at BEST but i was having a meltdown over 90s jensen earlier n couldnt relax until i did this ok feedback appreciated sm unless its mean HAHAHA bc i honestly dont know . . . if i like this HJTKLGDFSH style heavy inspired by daisy jones & the six my beloved
tags, @jasvtsc @figthoughts @deanswidow @depressionbarbie2023
#──★ ˙🍓 dahlia’s jrnl#jensen ackles#jensen fucking ackles#jensen ackles one shot#jensen ackles imagine#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles x you#jensen ackles x y/n#90s!jensen#90s!jensen x starlet!reader#fem!reader#divider by plutism
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Trick Q+A on the solavellan ending
Haven't seen this going around much, I'm guessing because it was originally posted when everybody had their veilguard spoiler defenses up. But I did find it interesting.
Trick is answering some questions over on Bluesky and here are the questions and answers decoded from the rot13 cipher. Hopefully this provides more clarity and eases people's anxieties here and we can move forward in a more positive light with discussions: Q: Will where Solas and Inky end up in the Fade be strictly regret-themed or will her joining and their love influence it into something a bit less bleak (hence the specific elven phrasing)? rooting for my girl not to be in fade jail A: She's speaking both romantically and literally. It won't be terrible if they're in there together. Q: In the Solavellan ending, it says that Solas is Lavellan's true love. I know you've said she represents his future, but do you think she's his true love also? A: Yes. We framed it the way we did because the Inquisitor was your character last game, and because some people, we imagined, were doing this to give the Inquisitor the happy ever after she deserved, not Solas. Q: Did solas just Fade-mail it to her and it appeared? A: Inky and Morrigan have their ways. Q: Could you please tell us, if it is possible, why it was only Mythal's words that allowed Solas to stop this train of endless regrets from rolling into the abyss? I'm sorry, but it seemed too easy to me after so many centuries. Perhaps I don't understand the core of their relationship. A: That's what he needed to hear. Not because he loved Mythal more, but because she was the reason everything went wrong. She, the past, tells him to let go of all the mistakes of the past. And then the Inquisitor he wanted to be with is there to show him a better future. Q: Does Solas love Lavellan as much as he loves Mythal? I know Mythal is kinda all things to him- leader, oldest friend, maybe lover, and that's hard to overcome. On the other hand, his love for Lavellan seems less all-consuming, but purer. Anyway, love to hear your thoughts! A: Mythal is his past, where he made terrible mistakes. A romanced Lavellan is a bright future he doesn't think he deserves until he fixes all of those past mistakes. Q: When Solas tells Lavellan that the place he is going is terrible, where exactly sre they going? Back to the regret prison or somewhere else? A: The implication is that he's going back to the prison, and now that he'll be working to try to heal the blight while he's there.
Source (its to a reddit thread not the actual original quotes, and I'm going to trust that they did their due diligence because I don't have the energy to do it myself lol)
#idk I just thought it was interesting#to get the writers perspective#I like how they talked about giving lavellan her happy ending rather than solas#which also just adds more fuel to the fire of my 'yeah they'll be able to push through their regrets and get out of fade jail'#Like give them some time for the therapy to kick in#and then they'll be popping in and out#lavellan just going on a quick visit to go see dorian#and such#dragon age#solas#solavellan#datv#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers
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My hear me out cake except that I'm frantically trying to explain that I'm not a phan conspiracist anymore however, after 15 years, do we all honestly believe that neither the incredibly beautiful and very handsome Dan Howell and Phil Lester have not had a single bit of male action trying to nail them in a relationship?? that whoever they decided to date would be so chill with them being extremely flirty, and living with their "best friend and coworker" for literal years and building their dream home for just the two of them and going on double dates with other couples.
like just logically that would require so much explanation. and I'm not saying that they haven't had swinger situations or orgies or whatever. but the idea that they would be in a secret committed relationship with literally anybody is mind-boggling to believe. You mean to tell me that their respective partners are just totally chill with an entire fan base shipping them, them living together for 15 years, basically, touring together and sharing a tour bus bed who knows how many times, And also literally excessively touching and flirting in every single video they post online.
like yes, I am totally understanding that polyamorous people exist and that in an open relationship it wouldn't really matter but at a certain point, I feel like some points would be made.
And don't get me wrong in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn't matter And it's none of our business and that's completely fine. I completely understand people who are not at all invested in their dynamic or relationship and that's completely fine too. it's just that I still see people who are so passionately adamant that they are absolutely without a shadow of a doubt. not in a relationship and I really just want to tilt my head sometimes. again, it's totally fine if you believe that and it's totally fine. if you don't care, I'm not condemning that in any way shape or form. I just think it's wild to consider that they're just in full dating and committing relationships with other people with everything else going on. like yeah me and my best friend/coworker built a whole ass house together and have a mortgage and work together and have lived together for 15 years and low-key flirt on the internet and also tour together, but it's fine babe, don't worry about it, they're just a friend.
#pineapple chats#dan and phil#phan#dip and pip#dan and phil games#dnptit#dnpgames#dnp#danandphilgames
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Losing My Mind Over Veilguard 6/?? Aka the Dread Wolf Double Bind
These posts are getting up here in number (yes ma'am that is 1 2 3 4 5 instances of me not being able to get my shit together and coming back again for more)
and quite frankly there's nothing I can do about it until the "we've been treated and tormented by this game" demon has been exorcised from my body, so here we go again.
Today I give to you:
(Modeled after Inquisition Solas and his sad, bald-ass basset hound mage bum glory becuase I think it's important that newcomers know exactly who his fans fell in love with/who inspired his enemies to conduct speed-runs to punch him. Yassified Solas ran only because this mangled membranous man crawled first)
Part of what's making me lose my mind here, I've discovered, is a strange sort of survivor's guilt where everything I really like or really hate about Veilguard can be traced back to Solas and I don't know how to deal with it because we've never had such a divide before between one character getting ALL the content and everyone else from their game being left in the absolute dust.
Disclaimer: Yeah, no one from Origins has had more screen time across games than Morrigan at this point, and therefore no one has gotten more robbed of the substance of their character, but even the damage done to her wasn't the kind that warped an entire game. No, the devs saved that all for the Dread Wolf in the Room.
Even putting it down on paper and comparing the two in-game versions of him, it took me a second to work through why I'm so conflicted, but I think I've finally settled on a few key points.
Concern #1: Solas Haters Were Robbed.
Part of the allure of Solas is that if you want to punch that man in the face, you're gonna get the chance to punch him in the face. Is that my personal preference? No. But in a game where your companions are built to make you think instead of letting you turn your brain off, you're bound to have personalities that clash against yours. To have such a non-descript-looking iambic-pentameter-talking apostate be able to inspire strong emotions across the whole spectrum of players was part of his appeal. Now, as far as I understand it, you have four options at the end of Veilguard.
1. Solas lives and he might actually not hate himself some day.
2. Solas lives and he's absolutely going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates himself.
3. Solas lives and he's going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates YOU.
4. Solas lives and you better hope he never again figures out how to live in your general vicinity
Do you see my concern here? I, shamelessly, can admit that I would do unspeakable fictional things to get that man his happy ending (within reason...mostly...), but I feel like the game took the opportunity away from the players who threw that knife in their map at the end of Trespasser and vowed to take a bitch down for stealing their best armor and waxing poetic about the Grey Wardens while seemingly sitting on his ass and having no inclination to stop the blight (help). This, then, leads me into my second issue.
Concern #2: The Game Refuses to Give Solas room outside of its own agenda
In the near-decade it took for Solas to slip back into his trickster god persona, he seems to have forgotten why he began his quest to tear down the veil in the first place. I like that Rook gets to experience the version of our favorite hard boiled egg that near-singlehandedly tore down several empires by being an absolute terror to those with bigger egos. I like that new players are going to hear Solas tell them that they've earned his respect and actually believe it until they inevitably get their first taste of ancient elven betrayal. What I don't like? When a nuanced yearning for a world in which three majorly mistreated groups (spirits, elves, mages) would be free from many of the constraints that enabled their oppression suddenly becomes "I am doing this because if I don't I have betrayed my friend. Which friend you ask? Oh, the one that was on board with my plan until it no longer suited the story."
The combo of few characters from previous games and a sanitized near-blank slate for the setting of this game was deadly to one of its best-written characters. Because of it, Solas is forced to abandon his double-speak, the joy he takes in giving you scraps of an answer that, by the time you get it, you will already have missed the chance to piece it together from separate clues that he ALSO dropped. He's not going to get to show you the loyal followers the epilogue of Inquisition made clear that he has, because the game wants to usher you into the new future of the series. You're not going to get to ask him (or any NPCs for that matter) a bunch of questions so that you can form your own opinion of him, because all that matters is that he isn't Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain so let's move along, shall we?
Because the game needs exposition and a foil to its two other baddies, and needs it FAST, the mythic Dread Wolf becomes a plot device designed to get you where you need to go when you need to be there. It doesn't work purely for that reason alone, at least in my opinion, but it gets so much worse when a game that promises you that it's going to work for players new and old relies on someone experienced players want a personal reckoning with to guide every Rook through the game only to realize that those questions of morality regarding whether the veil is torturous for a subjugated few or the only thing preserving most of life as we know it are going to have to remain questions.
You don't get a choice of whether Solas is in your party or not, and you can't advance in the game without talking to him. You don't get to choose not to impress him. You don't get to choose whether you're going to work with him in the final battle, and as previously mentioned, your only real choice in how his story ends is one of four options in which he lives every time in varying states of self-loathing. You're still going to love him or hate him, but just how strongly you're able to show those feelings towards him is severely curtailed. And that's an absolute shame for a character that commanded such fierce attention.
And that's where, ultimately, I find myself with a weird amount of survivor's guilt.
When I finished my Veilguard playthrough, I had barely a moment to fully contemplate the amount of whiplash and disappointment I felt going from a Solas that I had spent almost a decade knowing to a One Dimensional Fen'Harel who threw out his core values and goals like they were chilling in a cup of tea before. Why? Because I very quickly felt guilty. And then I got angry for feeling guilty!
The game's failure to adequately represent its other characters and lore has created a world in which I don't like the Solas we've been given, but I can't live without him either. Who am I to complain that his most complex and compelling features are gone when other players are mourning the fact that the last they may ever hear of their favorite character is reduced to a scrap in the codex? How can I be frustrated at how the Lavellan reunion scene goes down when other players would kill for the chance to have their Inquisitor seemingly give any sort of shit about being in the game aside from being told it was mandatory to earn participation points? How can I lament the fact that his storyline seems to share all the wrong lessons to be learned from a toxic friendship rooted in a never-equalized power imbalance when someone else is watching Morrigan pull a complete 180 and wondering why the fuck they spent so much time researching whether or not her accepting her mother's choices as her own was what she truly wanted? At least Solas still loves Lavellan, even though we needed to ask Trick Weekes several follow up questions just to double check. At least Solas gets more in the epilogue than one empty "we remember the heroes that came before" platitude.
And to suddenly fear any appearances of past characters from a studio that used to make me stay up theorizing about how a character might grow and evolve and continue to impact the world I helped shape? It's depressing as hell, and it's why I was too scared to get attached to any of the new companions once I finally got past the writing and lack of complexity.
The people that hate Solas, deserved better.
The people that valued what he brought to their Inquisitor's small but strong group of friends deserved better.
The people that love Solas more than Sera loved pissing him off deserved better.
And new players, who had a chance to engage with one of the most powerful storylines in the game and instead got a heaping dose of Deus Ex Machina Lite, deserved better.
If taking a character that had the potential and power needed to shape an entire continent and banishing him one of four different ways to Fade jail so that the book could quickly be closed on a years-long legacy is what the studio is calling a return to their roots, I'll stick with the efforts of fans to create art and theories that aren't afraid to double down into what actually keeps people coming back for more.
#dragon age#solas#datv spoilers#spoilers#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#solavellan#lavellan#datv#veilguard#I'm sure this probably sounds insane#I woke up at 4 this morning to make a long commute to work and all that's left in my brain is the knowledge that I need to put on pjs#and cry#over everything this game should have been but wasn't#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#fen'harel#the dread wolf#dragon age inquisition#morrigan#mythal#datv critical#datv critique#veilguard critique
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No place for love part 2
OTHER PARTS: Part 1
Pairing: Azriel x oc/reader
Summary: She was the only way to get the information the spymaster needed, but he would have truly given anything not to see her again. Not to be at her mercy, completely under her control, for she awakened things in Azriel that he would rather had kept in slumber.
Warnings: Mature content, nudity, prostitution, eventual smut, mention's of SA, fighting and a lot of other triggering things :,)
NOTICE: I AM A DYSLEXIC, NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER, I WRITE THESE AT 2 AM, HAVE MERCY :)
(Also, I got some inspiration to this chapter from one of the episodes from BBC Sherlock, where there is the legendary Irene Adler)
The man under Brianna had started to annoy her. She had kept him company for hours now. Fucking him, making love to him, pleasing him however he wanted. She was tired, tired of him. His smell was all over her by now and she wanted nothing more than to wash it off in a long warm bath, that she could maybe get to enjoy later, if she succeeded in her mission.
She was straddling him, running her hands on his chest and smiling down at him. The man was panting heavily under her, eyes closed and his hands still keeping her hips securely in place on him.
“I do not believe I can go for another round anymore love” he said looking up at her. He seemed to be intoxicated with everything around them and especially with her.
Brianna thanked the mother that it was over now. Now she could start the real game. “My lord, did I wear you out? but there were so many things that I still wanted to do.” She let out a fake giggle at the end to convince him of the act she was putting on before him.
She rolled off him, leaving him on the bed. Brianna walked to the other side of the room, where her robe was abandoned on one of the many cushions that covered the floor and made up the makeshift lounging area of the room. She pulled the robe on to cover her naked body. Turning to face the man again, she smiled that vicious smile she knew to make in situations like this.
“Tell me my lord, now that you are back from your travels, what's next?”
“Oh Brianna. Why must you remind me of that boring thing people call reality?”
He turned on the bed so he was facing her. In his eyes Brianna could sense a bite of annoyance. But to Brianna he was a simple man, nothing more than plaything in a bigger game she got to play. Getting the right information meant that she would get to meet the high lord’s spymaster again.
To Brianna it was fun, refreshing almost. Talking to someone who at least tried to be a gentleman. Someone who tried not to look at her only as an object to be toyed and fiddled with.
“I was only meaning to ask so I would know if you would continue to grace us with your presence in the future. Many of my girls miss you, they would be delighted to offer their services to you.” You lied through your teeth, like hell would you let any of the girls near this man. He wasn’t the worst that there was, but if you would have been given the choice, you would have burned him to ashes before he ever laid a finger on you the first time. But at least he was simple at mind. Easy to control, easy to impress.
“My Brianna, always so sweet tongued.” He got up from the bed, starting to collect his clothes from the floor and putting them on. “But yes, I will be staying for a while. Business in the east went well, so now me and my men are preparing for the next stage.” He spoke not realizing how much he was giving away.
Brianna could truly now tell that he wasn’t the brightest of the punch. But she had gotten enough information, it was not yet enough proof to prove anything, but at least she had something interesting to report back to the shadowsinger and the high lord.
Brianna smiled and walked towards the man, straightening his collar while looking into his eyes. “I am sorry to inform you that our time together has now come to an end, my next client is waiting already.”
At the right moment the doors to her champers were opened, revealing Daphne at the entrance. “I am sorry my lord, but I must ask you to leave my lady's room now, but if you are in the mood, you can enjoy a drink downstairs at the lounge bar.”
“Of course, and oh!” The man turned to look at Brianna before saying “I am sorry to disappoint the other girls you were speaking of, but you, my Brianna, are the only one that can satisfy my hunger.”
He bent down at her level and kissed her as a goodbye, then smelling her neck when straightening his back. After that he left, and deep inside Brianna could feel a shiver of disgust, making her want to burn all that he had touched, including herself.
It was wrong to say that she had gotten used to it, no one could get used to it. No matter how many times she laid with these men, every single time she imagined herself somewhere else. She wished she could put a dagger through all of their hearts. If only she had the freedom to do so.
Daphne looked at her lady, her friend. Starting to close the door so she could have a moment to dress and gather herself. Maybe bathe as well. Daphne knew the expression on Brianna’s face, she knew that her friend needed to wash off his touch.
“Daphne, wait.” She said looking at her friend's eyes. “I have message for you to deliver”
“What is it Anna?”
Brianna fully turned to her friend and smiled at her, knowing that soon she really could meet the shadowsinger again soon.
“Send a message to the high lord and his spymaster. Tell them that I have information that they will want to hear. “
Azriel’s pov:
Azriel, Cassian and Rhysand had been enjoying a quiet evening in the townhouse when the fire message came. Cassian had Nyx sitting on his knee, the little boy was chewing a wing of black bat toy that Nesta had gotten him for a present on his 1st birthday.
Message appeared in front of Azriel's nose, making Rhys and Cassian turn their heads towards him. “What’s that?” asked Cassian, while trying to keep the little boy still on his leg.
“The brothel already answered you?” Rhys concluded, making the assumption based on the frown on Azriel’s face. After the visit Azriel had been quiet, at least quieter than usual, which worried Rhysand. His friend hadn’t said anything about who he had met or what had happened at the brothel.
“Yes” was the only thing Azriel answered. Not wanting to let his brothers know how helpless he had been before the woman.
“So this means…?” Cassian asked, trying to pry more information from his brother.
“Me and Rhys are taking a trip to the court of nightmares” Said the shadowsinger, thinking that bringing the high lord with him, he could maybe get more serious information from the woman.
Azriel still didn’t know her name. In his mind he had started to call her “the woman”, not knowing anything else that fit better. She was certainly no girl. Even though she was young, no one inexperienced could act that way. Her eyes had been so dark and Azriel knew that based on the little bits and pieces he had seen of her living space and life, she had seen more than most of others.
After Gathering their weapons, they put on Hewn city-appropriate clothes so they wouldn’t stick out like sore thumb in the dark catacombs of the city that resided under their beloved house of wind.
This time Azriel took extra care in securing daggers and truthteller on his belt, not wanting to be caught off guard. Memories of the woman haunting his mind. He had not been able to shake her from his mind. That devilish smirk entering his dreams, his shadows whispering about her every second he got. He wanted her, but at the same time he wanted to stay as far away from her as he could. Lock her up and keep her to himself, leave prythian and never see her again.
She was going to be the end of him.
Hewn city:
Rhysand gave him suspecting look, when arriving at the front of the brothel. Azriel however ignored the look and closed his eyes. Breathing deeply once, before stepping inside the place. He gestured to Rhys to follow him.
Azriel saw the girl from earlier. She was beautiful as well, he assumed that all of the girls here were. Daphne his shadows whispered to him.
Daphne approached them. Seemingly taken aback by the high lord’s presence. So the woman had not told anyone that the high lord would be joining them tonight. She curtsied to the high lord, as well to him. Azriel only nodded to her.
Rhys had raised his glamor. Trying to blend in, not to cause unnecessary attention and rumors that the high lord of the night court had been seen in a place such as this.
“We received an invitation. According to you, you have what we asked” Rhysand said, keeping his voice calm, but still demanding power.
“Right this way my lord’s” was the only thing she said, turning and starting to walk towards the stairs.
Azriel and Rhysand followed. Not questioning where she was taking them.
Why are you so tense? It was Rhys, speaking directly into Az’s mind from the open crack that had left for him.
Be on your guard brother, please.
It was the only thing the shadowsinger had time to say before reaching the familiar door. Daphne opened it for them, revealing the already familiar room to Azriel.
They took a step to the room. Both him and his brother assessing the space.
After making sure there wasn’t anyone else in the room and that the door was shut, he gazed upon her.
She was at least dressed this time. In a blood red dress, revealing her neck and chest so that it would leave any man drooling. Dress was simple, but clearly expensive, seeing that it was perfectly tailored to her, hugging in all the right places, before widening to airy hem pooling down at the woman's feet.
Last time he had been so focused at not staring at her, that now that when he looked at her face. Truly looked at her in a beautiful dress and hair that fell freely past the woman’s waist in curls. She was the most beautiful creature that he had ever come across. Right in that momen, Azriel knew he was doomed. Because for him she truly was THE woman, the only woman.
“Good evening, lord of shadows”
continued... (part 3 hopefully coming soon :,) )
#acotar#azriel#smut#rhysand#court of thorns and roses#azriel x reader#fanfic#fantasy#azriel fic#azriel fanfic#azriel x you#azriel x oc#azriel angst#azriel fanfiction#azriel fluff#azriel smut#acotar smut#acotar fanfiction#acotar fandom
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Take a Slice
Part Five - Casual
f!reader x Tashi Duncan x Art Donaldson x Patrick Zweig
Cinnamonacid on AO3
Warnings- arguments, angst, jealous Tashi, situationship struggles, homoerotic friendship struggles, etc.
You have to deal with making some difficult choices.
Song inspo: Casual- Chappel Roan
“You shouldn’t have done that.” Art paced around the living room, anxious and angry. Tashi stood and watched him, her arms folded, while Patrick sat on the couch. “Wanting to train her professionally? I thought we agreed to put our family first after Patrick retired. I thought you were happy with training the girls at the foundation.”
Tashi sighed. “I am.”
“Clearly, you’re not. It’s never enough for you, is it? What if she said yes, huh? Would you go on tour with her? Lily’s too old for that. She needs stability.”
“What, you think I would just run off with her? She’s not even ready to go on tour yet. She would just be a side project. I’d start off training her twice a week, when I wasn’t working at the foundation, and once she started showing improvement, things would get more serious. I know what I’m doing, Art. You know I love you, and Lily, and Patrick. I take care of our family and the both of you just fine. You need to trust me.” She remarked.
“This isn’t just about tennis, Tashi. I know that. I know you want her, and it’s not a good idea. She’s young, a lot younger than us, and she might not know how to handle this.” He gestured to the three of them.
“What did she say when you offered to train her?” Patrick interjected.
Tashi gripped her arm sleeve tightly in annoyance. “She said that she’d think about it, and that she has people she doesn’t want to leave.”
“‘People?’” Patrick cocked an eyebrow, a little smirk crossing his face.
“Her doubles partner, I’m assuming. She’s pussy whipped even worse than you, if that’s possible. Came in with all these hickeys on her neck, which she tried to cover up with concealer.” Jealousy was clear in her voice, along with her irritation. Patrick snickered quietly.
“I’m giving her an opportunity, a real chance, and she’s willing to give up everything for her. Everything she’s ever done, everything she’s ever worked for. It’s fucking stupid.”
Art’s expression softened, and he found himself locking eyes with Patrick. Maybe he knew you better than he thought. Maybe you could fit into this. Maybe he should give you a chance.
He sighed, running a hand over his face, feeling the cool metal of his wedding ring burning against his cheek, taunting him. “She’s going to need some time. Let her figure everything out. She’ll come back to you.”
“How do you know?” Tashi asked.
“I saw how she was looking at you at the end of the match. She wanted you to see. She wanted you to be impressed. She wanted you…who wouldn’t?” He took her hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Tashi smiled at him.
Patrick got to his feet, gazing at the two. “Wait, so you’re in?”
“I guess so, are you?” Art replied.
“..Yeah.”
–
“So, how did it go?” Anneliese questioned as she sat across the table from you in the dining hall. Honestly, you didn’t know how to answer that. There was so much that happened, so many feelings, so many conflicts. Thinking back on it made you dizzy. It was like a puzzle you were trying to piece together in your head.
“I think I blew it.” You admitted.
She furrowed her eyebrows. “What? What do you mean?”
“It went fine, I guess, but she said she wanted to train me to play professionally, and I told her that I need to think about it, and she wasn’t very happy with that.”
“Why?”
You messed with the food on your tray, unable to meet her stare. “I don’t know, it was a lot, and I- I couldn’t give her an answer right away-”
“This is your dream. You worked so hard, and you told her you need to think about it?”
“I know, but doing this means leaving school and leaving everyone behind. It means leaving you behind. It means no more practices or matches together, no more bus rides, no more shared hotel rooms. It means no more us.”
“So you want to give it all up for me? That’s fucking stupid. There is no ‘us.’ We’re not even together. This is just..casual. You know that, and I won’t let you throw everything you worked so hard for away.”
Her words stung. Moving from state to state with your mother made it hard for you to make new friends, and even harder to keep them. She had been your first best friend, the first person that actually stuck around in your life. You loved her so much and you knew she loved you too, but she’s right.
You bit your lip, fighting back tears. She reached across the table, resting her hand on yours and giving it a comforting squeeze. “It’s not like you’re going to be moving across the country, you’ll only be an hour or so away. You can visit me and I can visit you. I’ll go see your matches and you can see mine. We’ll make it work, I promise. But I’m begging you, please don’t give up your dreams for me.”
You wanted to believe her, you really did, but you’ve heard those words too often before. Empty promises that they’ll keep in touch, that they won’t forget you, that they’ll make it work. It never does.
Your heart felt heavy in your chest. You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to look her in the eyes. “Okay, I’ll send her a text and let her know that I’m ready. I’m going to do this.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Good.”
–
You: I thought about it and I’m ready
You: I want to do this. I want to play professionally and I’d be honored to have you train me.
Tashi had been waiting impatiently for that text, checking her phone constantly. She wanted Art to be right, she really did, but she had her doubts. Now, as she stared down at her phone, those doubts dissipated, replaced with feelings of satisfaction and excitement instead.
Tashi: I think you made the right decision
Tashi: Lmk your schedule and I’ll set something up
#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig challengers#patrick zweig#tashi duncan#patrick zweig x reader#art donaldson x reader#tashi duncan challengers#patrick x art#patrick x tashi#tashi challengers#tashi x reader#art x tashi x patrick#artrick#challengers fanfic#challengers x reader#tashi duncan x reader#art challengers#art x tashi#art donaldson challengers#patrick challengers
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It shouldn't have been Aaron
(To the people that call other people misogynistic/sexist because those other people call out/analyze Aphmau's MCD actions, just leave. This probably isn't for you.)
I want to spread my agenda around and agree with the few people who have said it too. It shouldn't have been Aaron. He had potential, probably. Aphmau doing the deed in the woods with him and then coming back after just to flirt with Laurence was trashy, yes. The entire plotline where Aphmau decides to go and be with Aaron behind Laurence's back after everything is really bad, yes. The part where Aphmau doesn't break it off with Laurence even though that's what she should have done if she wanted to be with Aaron instead of lead him on is more than strange, yes. Of course Aphmau is going to do things that aren't perfect, yes. She might have an explanation as to why she found comfort in Aaron, but not an excuse to the way she did.
But I still find potential in the plot line where she forgets both main love interests, but not with Aaron. Think of someone that has done everything for Aphmau such as Laurence. Someone who's sacrificed so much for her. Think of someone who's shown to give great care to children which Aphmau seemingly finds attractive, like Garroth spending time with Levin. Think of the one person that left their home and sacrificed too much for Aphmau, who gained Aphmau's undying love. The one who Aphmau even said "I love you" too. The one who isn't really looked at enough. Of course it's easy to find a man who looks like they are attracted to Aphmau, simply because she's Aphmau, but this person isn't a man.
It should have been Zoey. Zoey has been a part of Aphmau's life from day one. She has been the other mother, a parent alongside Aphmau. She has been there for people when Aphmau could not. She was Levin and Malachi's mother while Aphmau was experiencing her bane of being Irene. Zoey was supporting Aphmau in so many different ways, and Zoey deserves to be loved by Aphmau because of it. Aphmau would turn hostile if anything happened to Zoey.
Zoey is very similar to Aaron in regards to where they came from. Zoey can never go back to her home, in a sense where she lost her life there as Aaron lost his in his village. Zoey has sacrificed her immortality much like Aaron has sacrificed his life for the gateway to open up to save people in need. They have both been willing to be a part of Aphmau's life in ways of which to care for her and her family and not just that but be a part of it. To have Zoey to have turned out to love Aphmau even through death isn't falling short from Aphmau and Aaron's original plot. Sure, they might not have the shocking "Oh I'm pregnant with their child." Reveal, I still feel like Zoey could've easily replaced Aaron in a more meaningful way that would've grasped more of a hold on viewers attentions because Zoey had something stronger with Aphmau than Aaron ever did.
Aaron and Aphmau may have related to each other about being lords, but Zoey and Aphmau could love each other for being caring about others, especially each other. There could be so many ways to put their relationship. So many dynamics. They had more time together. This instead of the strange man that develops nothing with anyone else other than Aphmau and dies after a few good episodes of him just standing around shirtless...
Just think about it.
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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I'll be honest the whole argument about it being imperative that the gang never "wins" is still so fucking stupid to me. did you watch 3x01 with your eyes closed. dennis has "won" before, and it ruled, actually. why do we need broad ass arguments like this trying to pin down sunny when there's like. countless examples to the contrary to show it's been like this the whole time.
#i swear its only an issue when people want to use it to justify their opinion but its always so easily countered by just. watching the show#ada speaks#is dee day not an issue to y'all because dee 'deserves' her win#its such a weird fucking thing to be mad about#i agree there should be consequences when the gang do something shitty. BUT#what the fuck did dennis do wrong in dtamhd that he needs to be punished for#personal victories are not uncommon for the gang?#do you think mac coming out shoukd have netted him a punishment#do you have a problem with the note s15 ended on when the gang came together for charlie#there are so many examples like. not EVERYTHING has to come back around and bite them in the ass#when they do something awful. yes. sure. but its ridiculous to expect some twist for everything#they get off scot free constantly and that's. kind of the point. money and privilege and the art of not giving a fuck#idk. idk. but its so stupid to me that this is a complaint going around NOW like we don't have 15 prev seasons
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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Thinking abt vere.......what is going on in his head. He's so selfish but he holds a soft spot for Ais. What is going on in his heart. I want to know
#fighting tooth and nail trying not to project myself onto this man#getting affectionate for others but being too selfish for it#aaAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#not even selfish in the terms of yandere#its like. serving oneself. too self absorbed. not wanting to be shackled. not wanting to feel trapped.#commitment issues?#redstrewn talks#me when i found out that texting 24/7 and letting each other know in a relationship whats happening all the time always is#a (traditionally) not just acceptable thing but even *expected*#MISS ME W THAT SHIT???? I WANT INDIVIDUALITY???????#yes i can enjoy yandere in fiction and still have complete opposite preferences IRL. its called knowing how to have fun while#simultaneously being healthy at the same time#can we have space to be our own pplz pls. ohmigawd#yes i want to do many things together but if i have to do everything together i will literally kill us both /hyp /j#yandere in fiction however...hahaha they can stalk and hog me all they like babygirl ♡♡♡♡♡
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#so I think ep 12 is really good - does it have problems? yes.#do I think Atom should've apologized to Boston's face properly? yes#do I think boston should've apologized to top's face properly? yes#do I think Nick's interesting choice words for his last convo with Boston were def harsh? yes#do I wish they did the fire topmew scene a bit differently to make it more poignant esp since they've been shitting on top? yes#so many things! And that's just ep 12 bc jfc if u asked me abt the other eps?...we'd be here all night#basically it's this - they are characters meant to rep early 20 something students who are so messy and flawed and reckless#will they each recognize every mistake they've ever made? noooooo bc WHY WOULD THEY??? WHEN ITS ABT THEIR PAIN!?!?#THEY ARE THINKING OF YHEMSELVES#THATS HOW IT IS SOMETIMES - I DO THE FUCKING SAME THING#it feels v much like the end of edge of seventeen where you're with a character you've bonded over for an hour and a half and realize#NO ONE is going to apologize to them - not truthfully or fully or genuinely or etc and it's sad and heartbreaking and painful#but newsflash - it happens#and don't think you've done it right all the first time and apologized rightfully - and if u did?? It's bc that person mattered to you!#these 'friends'??? while yes they are - they also are not#im fucking surprised they all stayed friends tbh bc they don't truly make sense long-run but they have that business together so let's see#let's face it - it's the friendships it's the meanings it's the labels it's the community it's the assumptions it's the lack of words#ya'll saying you want toxic but can't handle when everything is not fair#and it isn't fair! there's exec decisions there's editing decisions there's casting decisions! bruh. it was set up from the start.#editing based on audience reaction? bruh. played right into their hands#blabber time#please ignore me#not even gon put the tags bc ya'll vicious as fuck when it comes to your characters while valid I'm tbh too tired to hear abt
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this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!
#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about#i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep.#im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before?#you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess#i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me.#today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app#i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no#i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up#or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out.#you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have.#these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top#of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me#and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then#its the capability to hate. for once in my life.#i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung.#because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do#everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be#bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning#im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely#cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you#because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell.#in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it#in other words ill be fine#em speaks#tw vent ish#sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3
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