#how we feeling with the weird new art style
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green-crocs12 · 8 months ago
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some op egghead outfits and a couple doodles from memory cause the brain rot is actually rotting my brain <3
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horizon-penblade-art · 1 year ago
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they forg! :)
I got really excited about the bigb redesign and almost immediately got to work brainstorming a nosy neighbors fusion. This is mostly just what i could come up with at 8-10 PM for the moment but i'm surprisingly happy with it
gemcyt AU, pearl design, and bigb design by @chrisrin
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liquidchocolatecake · 5 months ago
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currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad
#project moon#wonderlab#seriously wonderlab was so fucking good that like#the entire time pre-limbus release every time we got news i would get so excited for a potential followup on wonderlab's ending#and the idea of seeing characters like taii#with amazing designs from a comic that already had some absolutely stunning imagery#drawn in a style like the absolutely fucking beautiful painterly style of ruina's character art and cgs#getting to see more of taii and the other survivors of the branch and seeing where their lives would go after that ending#seeing how the loss of so many important people would affect them and how they'd struggle in the aftermath of l corp's collapse#we already had ONE distortion in the ending of wonderlab with catt and that happened BASICALLY MOMENTS AFTER LOBCORP'S ENDING#can you IMAGINE how cool it'd be to see all of these characters#who already have experience with combat and ego and weird anomalous monsters via their work in the branch#react to and potentially figure out and adapt to the distortion phenomenon?#LITERALLY THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF LIMBUS IS GOING INTO FORMER L CORP BRANCHES#THAT'S THE SELLING POINT OF THE GAME! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE! OF COURSE I WOULD GET EXCITED ABOUT MORE WONDERLAB STUFF!#BUT NOW WE'LL NEVER GET THAT#WE'LL NEVER SEE TAII AGAIN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA#WE'RE JUST LEFT WITH THE MEMORY OF THAT FINAL PANEL AND TAII GAZING OVER THIS STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL SURREAL LANDSCAPE#WITH PROMISES OF A JOURNEY WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE#FUCK I MISS WONDERLAB#wonderlab was so fucking good that it accidentally became the cornerstone of my entire perspective on project moon's works as a whole#and now that it's gone i can't go back to lobcorp or ruina without feeling its absence like a gaping void in my chest#the only thing left in its place being the knowledge of the shitshow that was the drama surrounding project moon for a while#and the thought that maybe in a different world we would've gotten to see more#FUCK man#no joke i literally made myself cry typing this whole rant out#suddenly learning that wonderlab had been taken down was a fucking wound i have never recovered from#and i've never been able to look at ruina or limbus with the same sense of awe and wonder and curiosity ever since#just the bitter knowledge that yet another formerly beloved story and world has fallen into corporate nightmares and gacha cash grabs#i haven't been able to keep up with project moon much at all since. i don't know if anything else has happened.
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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3point14a · 3 months ago
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what is leon's animal?? also what's his deal?? im curious what y'all did with him :D
:O thanks for being interestedddd!!!! Ummmmmm first of all as always I always get over exited and jump the gun about new stuff we have that is subject to change so like. This IS subject to change LMAO. 
We are shaking the villains like maracas as we figure out the magic system and what their evil plan even is!!!
With that outta the way: Leon is an inland taipan!! which is an INSANELY venomous snake. You miiight notice he doesn't have fangs, and that's precisely because he’s venomous, for safety they took his fangs off. All animals that are THAT venomous have that done once they hit a certain age. It's not something super strange to see, scorpions can’t have their stingers cut off cause they will grow back but they CAN have the venom gland removed. Owynn still has venom because it’s not actually dangerous at all and is more akin to a bee sting. So that sucks for him lmao
In this au reptiles have long ears, which this guy doesn’t have, and i’ll get to that in a sec.
But first of all, how did we extrapolate any character at all from just a design? Uhm well first we just wanted Town and Eak to have more friends because they have Cami, eachother (does not count cause they’re dating), and like no one else???? So yeah they need more connections so we gave them another little friend.
Then given that we had nothing to work with we did the good old trusty technique of tying him to other characters (like we did with the salvaged). Made him sort of match with what we already had of Eak and Cami, and we also made every villain parallel one animatronic: Eak with chica, owynn with bonnie, Fox with Cami, Freddy with Town, AND Leon with Golden (sorry for the Fred exclusion but honestly they have enough on their plate ALREADY). These connections are not concrete, but it's what we're working with right now.
We made Leon also come from a family of musicians that are neglectful and who care a lot about public image. As the son of musicians he was expected to follow through and he only ever really got attention when he showcased that he was good at music, otherwise it’s just “don’t bother me kid.” His family is not nearly as well known as the Belmontes (Golden and Joys family), so he doesn’t get as harassed about it, but he wants them to be more well known and bring their name up through following their legacy with music, given that it’s all they seem to even care about. 
When they were little he and Eak got into a real bad fight, which sparked from them being sad little kids dealing with their own issues with their own families, they start insulting each other and it escalates to just an actual legit fight. They are kids and they don’t really know how to control themselves or their strengths, Eak is an EAGLE who has very sharp talons, so Leon gets a bunch of cuts (a lot to his ears) and Eak gets his leg messed up (Leon did NOT bite since he’s super venomous and doesn't have teeth out yet. But the other way snakes fight is wrapping around limbs and squeezing so he did that).
Fight is over, neither of them are like dead or anything apparently super serious, Eak ends up with a limp and a leg that sort of just hurts permanently and is annoying. But Leon… Ends up a bit worse…
Given how cold his parents are and how insistent they are that their time is valuable and to not bother them with anything that doesn’t pertain to “important” stuff, Leon did not ask them to help, and instead just actively hid that he was injured at all and tried to handle shit on his own. The blood and the dirt on the inside of his ear caused an infection. Said infection affected both the outer parts of his ears, which caused them to get cropped, and his actual eardrums, which made him deaf. 
That idea came from Leon supposedly being an Owynn replacement, so we wanted to give them something relatively similar. Owynn’s eyes can look like common eyes despite the fact that the more they shrink the less he sees, and Leon’s ears getting clipped makes them look like the most common type of ear in this world (both arthropods and some mammals have them) but they were clipped due to the infection that also made him go deaf. 
Just as Cami carries the guilt and fear of having permanently scarred Eak without much effort, Eak carries the guilt of taking something so monumentally big away from Leon, while the latter at least had the self control to not bite him. While Eak can’t possibly hide his scar from Cami, Leon tries to hide all his scars from Eak, hence the undershirt thing and the hair over his eye and ears.
Then there’s another popular thought about Leon which is that he was who Eak was referring to when he told Town “I don’t plan on losing two friends”. Which we translated to “god please can people tell Eak when stuff is wrong or he’s going to explode” 
Eak’s friend group is Cami, Leon and Town. Cami just doesn’t talk about anything, Leon’s refusal to ask for help lost him his hearing, Town was, in Eak’s head, the one honest person in the group.
And he 's not! We made Town be a germaphobe who is really fixated on “being a good person” thinking of other people as “dirty” is something an awful person would do, refusing to hold hands with your boyfriend is something an awful person would do, thinking helpless small animals are horribly gross is what an awful person would think. So he just acts how he thinks he should! He constantly does things that make him insanely uncomfortable without telling anyone that they make him uncomfortable at all. The one thing he does do is be a vegan, which he can’t be given that he’s a lion. But he thinks vegetables and plants are a lot easier to monitor and clean than meat can be, and thus he is just constantly weak and unhealthy, and feeling unhealthy feeds his idea that he’s getting sick from other stuff, so it’s just never ending.
Once Eak finds that out, that’s when he tells Town to shut the hell up and tell literally anyone he has a problem. Someone close to him already lost so much because he thought he could handle himself, because he didn’t want to bother people. And that’s exactly what Town has been doing for years, not telling anyone he has a problem and handling himself to not bother other people and to not be “a bad person”. He can’t watch 2 people close to him neglect their needs and end up self-destructing. He can't lose another friend.
With that out of the way, what the hell is his deal? Well we wanted the villains to be like, a proper group of villains right? And with that and fucking around with the magic system (still,,,,,,,hard,,,,, help,,,) and we needed motives. Cami wants to “tame” people and control them and stuff, with that theme of control we have assigned her “tempo”  haha tempo controls everything, music reference. “Music moved this world” and whatnot. magic system. music. We don't have anything even remotely that specific for the other 4 because magic system hard BUT the gist of it is: Owynn wants a shadow in his head (dont even worry about it), Town wants to be a good person, Eak wants to bring people together, Leon wants recognition. 
Once he went deaf instead of using him like how golden’s family exploits them, Leon’s family just sort of stopped caring for him. Despite that he has hearing aids and that you can totally do music when you are deaf, they just decided he couldn’t and that he wouldn’t. In opposition to Golden’s arc of breaking free, Leon wants to go back in there. He wants his parents to give a shit about him and to be able to be recognized as “the child of the musicians” instead of just a guy who looks kinda funny, to be recognized by his last name and bring more to his family as a whole even though they already gave up on him. This is also why he got his snake bites (lol) piercings, to see if they noticed or if they even scolded him (they didn’t).
That’s pretty much all we got of him for now which are all subject to change, but i'm pretty happy with how they are as of right now! Some extra stuff that i didn’t know how to fit:
We were never big fans of making Eak short since he’s an eagle and all, but we can have our cake and eat it by making Eak tall objectively, but be the shortest out of the villains! tall freaks lol <3 we drew Eak in a rough height chart we have and he was average height but compared to cami he looked miniscule. So bumping him up makes the line up between all of them feel more comfortable. Plus he should tower over some people, and be intimidating. He deserves it.
Leon's pretty chill if not just a bit odd, apex (i call em that cause villains includes owynn) as a whole are a chill friend group until you learn that 3 of them tried killing and that Town got second hand insanity from it. Attached to each other out of guilt (3 of them about injuries and Town about “seeing them as dirty”) so they're kinda weirdddddd
People with vitiligo actually have a higher chance to lose their hearing! so the cards were stacked against him from the start ripppp
Just like golden has a star birthmark, Leon used to have a family birthmark too but it got whitened due to the vitiligo, fly low your ties to them keep decreasing boy,  talk about getting wiped out of your family's name lmao 
also the Belomte family has the root of “what we're doing comes from a place of care” and the exploitation is sort of(?) unintentional, they have a whole thing about being close and tight knit. While Leon’s family atm is just out of the gate cold and driven by a success that could be bigger, and whatever doesn’t really adhere to that ideal of success doesn’t really matter.
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longagoitwastuesday · 3 months ago
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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nonasuch · 1 month ago
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Miss Universe National Costume 2024, Part 2!
Splitting this off into a new post so I'm not clogging up everyone's dash quite as much.
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Miss Malta is some sort of environmental protection Sailor Scout. I think the giant bow would look better on the back of the skirt but otherwise this is solid.
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It has just come to my attention that I skipped over Miss Albania and several other A/B countries, back at the beginning. I sincerely apologize! She went to all this trouble putting together a Fifth Element cruise ship passenger costume, and I nearly missed it.
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Miss Armenia, in what even I have to admit would be a legit Princess Leia fit.
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Miss Bahrain, adding some green to her Gold And Vaguely Historical look, along with what is either a comically large prop chalice or an upside-down lamp.
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Miss Bangladesh appears to believe that adding two plush tigers from the toy store around the corner from the pageant venue will conceal the fact that she is just wearing a tiger-print evening dress. Miss Bangladesh is incorrect.
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Miss Belgium. Girl. No.
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Miss Belize let the seventh-grade art class do her whole costume, which was a bold choice.
Okay, I think that's everyone I missed! Back to alphabetical order. And I should have to rely less on shitty screenshots, now. Some countries were benefiting from the low resolution, tbh.
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Kind of feel like Miss Maldives had a luggage mishap and she's just wearing the outfit she packed for a slightly dressy dinner.
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Miss Martinique's costume would honestly have looked better in the shitty screencap version. The construction is... bad. It's bad.
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Feel like we're in a little bit of slump here. Miss Mauritius did not stick enough butterfly appliqués to her gown to conceal that it is, in fact, just a regular evening gown.
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Slump officially over! We are so back. Everyone say thank you, Miss Mexico.
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I would like this better if it had just committed to the giant skirt and not felt the need to make it a Sexy Miniskirt look. Sorry, Miss Moldova.
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Miss Mongolia wanted to stand out from all the other gold armor on stage, so she decided to a) wear cooler armor and b) bring a bow and arrow instead of a sword. Great work, Miss Mongolia.
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Starting to feel like I'm picking on the smaller countries that probably don't have a huge pageant culture or the budget for really elaborate costumes, but on the other hand Miss Montenegro's costume is super low-effort AND the fabrics look cheap, so what am I supposed to do?
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Okay, this looks like a pretty standard Miss Universe Sexy Bird, yes? Well, THIS is how Miss Myanmar entered the stage:
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She had to fight her way out of that thing! God only knows what the visibility was like in there.
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I think the hat is doing most of the heavy lifting to keep Miss Namibia's costume from being Just An Evening Dress, sadly.
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Oh, yikes. It's more obvious in motion but Miss Nepal's bodice looks like it's made of craft foam and it fits real weird. The rest of it looks a little like she got together with Miss Cyprus and a pile of tablecloths for a sewing bee last night, I'm sorry to say.
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Miss Netherlands has chosen a Tribute to Delft. I think if I were in charge of this costume I would do a much fuller skirt that falls from the waist, instead of the weird trumpet-skirt-with-hoop we've got here. And, obviously, I would make the windmill on the bodice actually spin.
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It looks like she's having some issues keeping the wings and peplum in place, but I really like Miss New Zealand's costume from a design perspective. It at least slightly resembles the bird it's supposed to be (New Zealand fantail) and I think the feather pattern is meant to be in a Maori art style.
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Miss Nicaragua is a Sexy Cathedral, which I think might be a Miss Universe first and is definitely a big old step closer to drag.
Okay, pausing here to get the next batch ready.
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rxmxa · 3 months ago
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uranus through the houses + the future <3
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I saw this video the other day of this girl (colette bernard) who became a millionaire selling claw clips designed to look like teeth (her audience was dentists) but then she expanded when they were a hit so she has like cute claw clips designs for a dozen of professions. BUT all i remember thinking that stuff like this is so pluto in aquarius coded and we’re going to keep seeing people become successful more and more through their specific interests and hobbies.
she was truly self made and her passion for art changed her ENTIRE life (even though people told her it was a dumb idea). Pluto is gonna be in Aquarius for a long ass time and we know the significance it has on social changes, the collective, the government, community etc etc. This is a time for innovation and transformation, and with Uranus’s energy on your side, you can truly step into a future where you lead the charge in creating something new and lasting ⚡️
the point is your weirdness, your out of the box ideas, the shit you think is straight up weird or maybe mee maw and pee paw call “useless” IS GONNA COME IN FUCKING HANDY!!! people are changing their entire lives everyday online and/or by finding their niche. so whatever “weird” idea or hobby you have, keep investing in it !! im not saying bc it will bring u money instantly (although thats always a plus) but bc it will bring you OPPORTUNITIES.
we all have our own claw clip tooth idea and we can look at uranus to show us the forward thinking/ innovative energy that can help us during pluto in Aquarius :) 💙🦋✨✨🪩✨✨💙💙
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uranus in the 1st house: moving forward by embracing your quirks and letting the world see the real you. dont ever ever ever try to dull yourself down. the right people will find you. dont shy away from shaking things up with how you present yourself or how you lead others. the visionary is YOU and during pluto in aqua you can inspire others to embrace their authenticity the way you do. in a way YOU are the “unique idea” so take full ownership. Dont be afraid to experiment with your style and image, especially in the moments where you are feeling the urge to try something different! Step into leadership roles that call to you! Volunteer for projects that require someone open-minded or that align with innovative (like new companies, organizations or small owned businesses that are producing/ delivering new kinds of products or services).
uranus in the 2nd house: think of unique ways to invest your money (ik theres a lot of debate with crypto) but anything thats outside the box could be a worthy venture. think about you can use tech to help you streamline your finances or organize your budget! just be open to trying new financial systems. this placement gives me the energy of investing something that others might see as SUPER random or specific but then it takes off years later. this is not me telling u to put ur savings in electric scooter stocks or something but to just be OPEN to sustainable investments that catch your attention that can help u and even ur community!! this also reminds me of tech inventors or investing in tech or USING technology as a way to help you determine the kinds of values you want to have and/or what you actually wanna stand up for.
uranus in the 3rd house: moving forward by shaking up how you show up in your online communities, or your social media presence. have you ever been interested in starting a podcasts or blogging more? (like those conversations you have with your friends about your interests or hobbies can go far or even commentary on the way media looks like and is being used now. Invest in learning new methods of communication you have been interested in (like buying that new camera or learning how to code or finally starting that youtube channel). Use your platform to reach more people!! This also reminds me of someone who disrupts the status quo with innovation in education like maybe writing new curriculum thats more aligned to our modern generation or any other platforms/ media that are up and coming and useful to students??
uranus in the 4th house: focusing on moving forward with your ideal home environment in mind. visualize it and focus on the ways you can start putting in into action! dont be afraid to start over and re-design! think about the ways you want your environment to be emotionally and physically stable for you and what its gonna look like (eco-living? smart homes? communal living?) this placement reminds me of those people that buy mansions or plots of lands with a group of friends and put their money together to help grow and live together! Don't beat yourself up if your idea of home or family doesnt fit the cookie cutter image (which is honestly going away now slowly and will def shift with pluto in aqua). YOU get to decide what home and family is and you can inspire others to do the same. Your idea of family has to align with your desire for freedom and emotional growth.
uranus in the 5th house: going all out in the ways you experiment with your art and creativity. You could be great at creating "futuristic" type of art haha (or investing in art forms that arent super popular or well known rn but you're ahead of the game and they could be popular in the future). Be bold in all areas that have to do with the 5h (think outside the box with how you express yourself artistically and romantically). Pluto in aqua will support you in u turning your creative work and forms of self expression into something that inspires people and gauges strong emotions from them! that claw clip idea was def giving uranus in the 5h energy. She was HAPPY creating it, it was a hobby first (5h) and then people told her it was useless or strange and she kept going anyway and she got to profit it from it, especially through social media (the 5h-11h axis). trust me when I say there is something out there for everybody. EVERYBODY.
uranus in the 6th house: pluto in aqua will urge you to break free from outdated systems and explore new ways to stay productive and healthy!! The traditional 9-5 might not appeal to you and thats okay because it doesnt to a lot of people and they have created their own way. Think about the tech-driven approaches you want to explore in your daily life (apps, the media you use, how you use tech in regards to your health). Think about how tech can help your productivity and your health!! This reminds me of my coworker who bought like this ultraface ring (I think thats what its called) but she loves it and its super high tech and fancy and shit and it monitors a lot of her health and its motivated her in her routines! The way we motivate ourselves looks different! You can move forward by exploring the most flexible options for you.
uranus in the 7th house: you can move forward by redefining what partnership + relationships actually mean to you. now more than ever its time to focus on partnerships where there is a sense of independence and equality. ESPECIALLY bc pluto in aqua is going to redefine and TRANSFORM (pluto) what community and friendships and relationships (aqua) look like in the first place. so be ahead of the game by surrounding yourself and nuturing your relationships with people that are not scared to break away from the norm and actually want to work together and are built to support mutual growth and freedom. dont stress trying to confine yourself to keep someone who is not open minded enough for you! find your person/ people.
part 2 coming soon!! 🪩✨🦋
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abby-howard · 5 months ago
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I'm going to be asking a lot of artists I follow this question, but how did you develop your style? It SEEMS like most people find their style and stick with it forever, just making improvements and iterations. I tend to work in a lot of different styles because I enjoy doing that, though I know there are things I gravitate towards as well. But I wonder what your journey was and how you got feedback and improved while staying true to what you enjoyed?
Hi there!
I definitely wouldn't say that I've found my style and stuck with it forever-- I feel like each of my projects has asked for a certain kind of art, and has presented new challenges that push me in new directions.
Some of that comes from seeing someone else's work and having something click into place that might fix errors/faults in my own, and then I might try to incorporate that, such as bigger outlines on my characters to help distinguish them from the background, or maybe a way someone else simplifies eyes that can help make mine look less weird.
When I first started drawing, I can see where I encountered certain influences because my sketchbooks suddenly switch to incorporating some new stylistic element that I liked from whatever I was reading/watching at the time. But it was never QUITE right, it was never just copying, there was always something ~wrong~ with it. And that wrongness was my style! As much as I hated it, that was what distinguished my art from being just a copy of someone else's. I hate it less now, and understand that other people see something there that maybe I don't, because it's just what happens when I filter other people's work through my head. My soul, if you will.
There are definitely through-lines with my work, driven by what I like drawing and what comes easily to me-- hatching is almost always a major component, and I like making expressive characters. Here's some of my earliest available stuff, from my old webcomic:
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Then not long after that, I started The Last Halloween, which pushed me to challenge myself in both layout and style:
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And here's the same comic, years later:
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And here's a series I did for kids, where I had to use full color and lay off on the hatching, as well as learn how to reconstruct animals that we have no photo references for, which is definitely a place where style comes majorly into play, whether I wanted it to or not:
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Then there was the horror book I did, where I tried to push my work to be less cartoony overall, and to work very hard on improving my hatching:
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Then I started work on Scarlet Hollow, where I incorporated a limited/muted palette and had to once again push myself to make less-cartoony art, as well as learn more consistency so I could draw sprite sets. This was a big challenge for me, and has helped me grow as an artist so much!
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And most recently, I wrapped up work on Slay the Princess, which required that I go back in the cartoony direction, but in a very different way than I was used to. This took a lot of sketching to figure out, and there's still a decent amount of artistic stumbling in Chapter 1 while I settled into it.
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She's drawing on anime/Disney influence, but each Princess required a bit of stylistic variability. Some are more anime, while some are more realistic than even the Scarlet Hollow characters.
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So I wouldn't worry too much, honestly! A person's style is often something that reveals itself over the course of their career, rather than something they choose and then try to stick to forever.
Even if you don't think you have a style, you do. It might vary a lot piece by piece, especially if you're trying to closely imitate another person's art, but the more work you do, the more you'll figure out your own strengths and interests!
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what-eats-owls · 4 months ago
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This info was of some surprise to folks on Bluesky, so I'm going to repeat it here in light of the sheer number of "the Internet Archive was an uncomplicated good apart from this one weird move" posts I've seen...
Are we all aware that IA has been gradually pushing the dogma that generative AI is a net public good, and has been feeding books, music, and video into AI?
This article is about how IA is actively using AI in their archives. It's an interview with Brewster Kahle, founder and Board Chair of IA. Choice quote:
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This is the blog post about the comments they submitted to the US copyright office arguing against any new copyright regulations for AI. Some more choice quotes:
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You can guess how I feel about framing the writers and artists whose work BUILT generative AI as "workers" who just need to be "retrained."
Last year they hosted a zoom panel called "Generative AI Meets Open Culture: Opportunities, Challenges & Ethical Considerations." Multiple visuals were AI-generated art, the panelists were asked to avoid discussing copyright. It's an hourlong panel and I couldn't find a transcript, so I skipped around to see if anyone addressed the elephant in the room. I found at ~32 minutes, a vague gesture at acknowledging it wasn't great if you tried to replicate an artist's style, but fine if you just wanted generic art.
(If anyone finds a more concrete statement in there, and/or a transcript, I'd love to know! The tenor I got was overall "look at how cool these tools are and let's talk about how they're a public good.")
At the end of January 2024, they hosted "Public Domain Day," including a panel on incorporating Generative AI in art. They invited two artists who utilize Generative AI, and a publisher whose books go immediately into the public domain. More quotes from their own writeup:
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This was an event in celebration of public domain, but as far as I can tell, they've more or less avoided even acknowledging that creators are actively being harmed by Gen AI. Again, if anyone can find a clearer statement, please share it.
Another wrinkle in this is that Kahle, on behalf of the Internet Archive, sued the US Government in 2004, challenging the law that automatically granted and renewed copyright to a creator. Previously, copyright was opt-in only, had to be regularly renewed by the holder, and cost money to do so. The case went all the way to the Supreme Court in 2007, but was dismissed. (Scroll down to Docket 07-189, Kahle v Mukasey, for court filings.)
To be clear, this is the law that means you automatically own your own work. It's not a shock that Kahle's suit failed. But if Kahle had won, artists who didn't pay to secure and maintain copyright over their work would be SOL right now in the lawsuits against generative AI image and text scrapers.
So yeah. My tiny violin for IA continues to shrink.
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icyg4l · 10 months ago
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PAC: Why Did You Reincarnate as a Woman?
For this Pick-A-Pile, I am going to continue with my Women’s History Month series, where I uplift, inspire and/or relate to women on this platform. This reading is a bit of a life path reading and a past life reading but it’s more general. So take whatever resonates and leave what doesn’t. Without further ado, please pick a pile!
Left-to-Right (1-3):
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Pile 1: If you chose this pile, this is definitely for my girls who like to move around. I think that you’re someone who was meant to be rich, you definitely have expensive taste. In a past life, I think that you were into the esoteric world and into the arts. You dibbled and dabbled in a little bit of this and that. But I don’t think that you were able to find stability in your past life. But you had a clear vision for yourself. So this time, you’ve reincarnated as a woman to gain financial stability and independence from the debts of your past life. In past lives, you could have been non-committal or always wanting to rush into things. And as a result, you reincarnated without ever having a satisfied spirit. As women, we are expected to be the nurturers and sidekicks to men. But you, Pile One, are definitely the main character. You’re a free spirit and a force to be reckoned with. You follow the beat of your own drum. But remember that the goal is to feel happy with where you already are. Your spirit has a lot of fire but don’t burn it out trying to be everywhere all at once. You were born to be the non-comformist and that’s okay.
Signs: Gemini, Taurus, Leo, Sagittarius.
Cards Used: 7 of Cups, 5 of Wands, Queen of Discs, 9 of Discs, 2 of Discs, Ace of Discs, The High Priestess, The Hierophant, 3 of Swords, The Star, 4 of Discs, The World, 8 of Wands and Justice.
extras: beyhive. saweetie. white nails. green eyes. born with heart issues. short-term career path. life path number five. pirates. bohemian style. theatre kid. paint. big city girl.
Pile Two: If you chose this pile, you’re definitely someone who is described as a pure spirit. What’s funny is I channeled those Snapped interviews of people saying their friend was “the light in a dark room”. You have the tendency to make friends easily. You’re very introverted. That’s how it’s supposed to be. In a past life, you could have suffered from depression; perhaps you were in a mental hospital. You were burdened with a reputation that wasn’t true to your character. You were an outcast. Maybe you could predict death & people despised you for it. I think you felt unloved and misunderstood. This life is supposed to be a clean slate for you, Pile Two. I think that there was a lot of gossip about you. But this time, you carried over the scars from being a target of gossip. Maybe you feel like you don’t really have any friends. Maybe you have a weird relationship with trust & you end up trusting the wrong people/none at all. Maybe you keep people at an arms length but you’re still a friend to all. I think that you reincarnated as a woman to reclaim your power and the right to be here on this Earth. You make the world go round, Pile Two. Don’t forget that. Never feel guilty for having fun.
Cards Used: Justice, The Chariot, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups, 3 of Cups, 3 of Discs, King of Wands, 10 of Wands, Queen of Swords, The Magician, Ace of Swords, 9 of Cups, Ace of Cups (RX), Ten of Swords, The High Priestess, 7 of Cups, Queen of Cups and The World (RX).
Signs: Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Libra.
extras: nurse. break my soul. ellie goulding. codependency. microsoft. computer geek. smiley emoji. venusian. dmv. pills. fasting. making friends with outcasts. working with autistic children/elderly people.
Pile Three: If you chose this pile, you’re probably a person who struggles with their faith. This doesn’t come from nowhere & it’s not new to you. It’s in fact true to you. Today, you’re described as someone who is rebellious or maybe even lazy, but somehow you never complain about your circumstances. You’re like Trish De La Rosa. You keep a job! But in a past life, you were like a moody teenager. You never really saw the good in things. You were very negative. You held grudges and shunned people if they pissed you off. You could have been a gang member or you were an advocate for civil rights. Either way, your mindset was very black-and-white, no in between. As a result, I feel like you can struggle with following the rules today. I also feel like you have the tendency to be anti-religion/anti-Christianity, which is the basis as to why you struggle with your faith. Someone could have told you that you had “loose” ways as a child and this lit a fire under your ass. Misogyny in the church, but also in general is a reason why you have this fighter spirit. You have a fighter spirit, Pile Three. You’re here as a woman to take back what’s yours. You’re here to help other women realize their worth, reclaim their sexuality and transmute their pain into something beautiful, Pile Three and you will do it successfully.
Cards Used: Nine of Swords, The Star, The Emperor, Ace of Wands (RX), Ten of Swords (RX), Two of Discs, Eight of Cups, Queen of Cups, The Sun (RX), 4 of Discs, The World, 4 of Cups, Justice (RX), 8 of Swords, The Lovers (RX), The Hierophant, Princess of Swords.
Signs: Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Pisces.
extras: detention. good luck charlie. rapper. obsessed with cats. megan thee stallion. enough (2002). independent women. scarlet red. queer rights activist.
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sanzaibian · 2 months ago
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Congrats on 1,000! I was hoping you could give me a haircut! I always wondered what if look like with a pompadour or soemthing like that
“Welcome to the normal barbershop ! Thank you for choosing our service !” You are welcomed as soon as you set foot inside the building. “You will be accompanied by Rilaj Mam, an associate of Dr. Davod, who is known for having studied all sorts of arts of the hair. - Please call me Rilaj, using mam makes me feel old !” A voice is being heard from further inside the shop. - Sorry, but it’s in your namecard !”
As those two bicker, you approach the place where this mysterious man is, and find a quite small man, dark-skinned, folded eyes, and silky black hair arranged in a man bun – although the rest of the head is flawlessly shaved down to the skin. He wears colorful clothes, including a big bandana, and presumably the large hat and the pair of sunglasses that have been put down on the counter, all hiding what your trained eyes recognize as a ripped body.
But when you come just a little but closer, that short guy, presumably Rilajn suddenly turns to you – almost looking up to you – and smiles, full of kindness, though there is a tinge of malice behind his pitch black eyes.
“No matter ! I now have work to attend to !” He finishes the bickering, before addressing you. “I was waiting for you ! Please take place on this seat !”
You oblige, finding the seat to be extremely comfortable, much more than most barbershops you’ve ever been to. Almost too comfortable, considering this shop is temporary, after all… However, you’re here to relax and change hairstyles. Your hair has grown quite a lot since last time, and it’s about time you arrange it up. And trying a new style is just the cherry on top.
“So…” Rilaj, the barber, starts, coming with a bottle full of a weird black substance. “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that… your hair is way too short to make a good enough pompadour. You should have come in like… two months or three to have enough length to do what you wanted.”
You look at him disappointed. As if to prove it, he takes a strand of hair from the very front of your mop and drops it down your face, only reaching the base of your nose. And this shop is going to be closed by the time you grow enough hair, so although you can always come to another later, shelling out money for what is simply a bit of a silly tryout feels pointless.
“However, the good news is that I have a way to make a great pompadour thanks to my very special technique. So… are you interested ?” The barber offers with a malicious voice.
Still taken by your disappointment, you don’t think much and, foolishly, you agree immediately. You see his smile grow, as you are regretting having agreed so quickly while not considering what this technique is.
“Great ! Well, we shall start with a bit of trimming, no ? ‘Cause your hair might not be long enough, but it still needs shaping for this new cut !”
He draws out clippers and installs on it quite a big guard. Then, he turns it on, and starts mowing at your hair, tufts of it dropping from the sides of your head. His cutting style is quite peculiar, though, using the clippers only bit by bit, tuft by tuft, as if he was cutting with scissors. However, when he has finished one side of your head, continuing by working on the back, letting yet more strands of hair fall, you notice that the result is very regular, with each hair the exact same short size.
Somehow, that unorthodox technique works, and you are left with a great and very soft carpet of hair – which you were able to feel once he put down the clippers. Then, he draws out some scissors, of which one side is shaped in a sort of comb-like structure. He explains to you how it will make your hair less dense, which will make it easier to style, and better able to receive the special technique.
As he chops down some hairs on top, making the remainder of the mop lighter, you notice how silent he is throughout the whole ordeal. Although he seems like quite a jovial guy, even quite chatty at times, he doesn’t seem to be like other barbers, pulling you into discussions about what you did recently, or other mundanities. But looking at his pitch black eyes, matching his pitch black hair, you feel a weird sense of… tiredness ? coming from him. You can’t quite describe it, but as is always said : the eyes are the door to the soul. And behind the eyes you feel a truly ancient soul.
“That’s about it ! Now we’re coming to the good stuff !” Rilaj suddenly pulls you out of your thoughts. “Let me just show you…”
He takes the bottle of black stuff in his hands, and presents it to you through the mirror, before uncapping it.
“This is what I call nuuch’ay ! Don’t try searching it, you won’t see anything about it on the web. It’s an old tradition from my people, forgotten today, but that is very potent.”
He starts dropping it on your hair. It has a very slimy texture, and drops slowly. Looking at its pitch black but slightly shiny form, it almost looks like rubber… Once the bottle is fully emptied out, he puts it away on the counter. You look at it and notice a label, on which there is something written. You can’t understand it, the letters spell words you haven’t seen anywhere, but you do note that the handwriting is very neat and elaborate. It’s the kind of style that would belong in a historical document.
“Now, let me just rub it all in, and then I’ll be able to… pull your hair out of your head, let’s put it like that.”
You are quite disturbed by this. As he is spreading the black goo, you’re wondering about what kinds of irreversible damage it would make to your hair… if it’s pulling out your hair, won’t it damage the follicles ? Destroy your hair, and making go bald when the hair inevitably drop ? But as you’re considering whether to flee as a matter of precaution, you find that you’re actually unable to move. You look at his eyes… still a deep, deep black hole…
You are now trapped.
Concentrated, Rilaj starts, as promised, pulling on your hair. He does it first in the front, and just as he starts pulling, you feel weird… as if he is pulling on other parts of your body. You look at yourself, and aren’t really able to notice anything that has change… but as he suddenly pulls a second time, you feel a bit weird in your belly.
He pulls once again. You feel… tighter, as if the flab that you had been accumulating over the years was being… pulled back. Another pull. This time, you feel weird in your jaw, a weird sense of tingling all over your face… and on point, you notice that, as he pulls another time, there is no more facial hair. If you could draw your hand to your face, you’re sure you would feel it to be all smooth.
He continues pulling, the pain and the tightness being felt on all parts of your body. You look up at your hair, and notice black strands, reaching far higher than they ever have… and they are stood perfectly. It’s a feeling that you’ve never had, and as he pulls yet another time, tightening your body yet again, you feel kind of… hot ? Like, you’re wearing a haircut quite elaborate, your face is devoid of beard… you feel beautiful, and, dare you think, cute !
He continues pulling out your hair, continuing to tighten everything in your body, as he starts combing your new longer hair. The comb goes higher, and higher, your body feels tighter and tighter, until he goes back to the rest of the hair, revealing a big, tall, but not obnoxious pompadour.
The definition of beauty and hotness.
And as he finishes combing the rest, the barber looks at you, smiling from a well done job, just like you are from a wonderful haircut. You are enamored by the pomp, so much that you fail to realize how big your clothes now are on you. You want to feel it, you want to touch it… but before you can make your hand reach, not even registering how you’re suddenly able to move, Rilaj blocks your arm.
“No, you can’t touch it just yet. It needs to dry up a little bit more before you can, else you will mess everything up.”
Dry ? You do as said, but that use of words does throw you for a loop. And your barber notice, since he then adds a few precisions.
“See, the nuuch’ay is derived from rubber, and we need to let it dry a bit before it can keep its shape. I have variants that dry a lot faster, but for hair, only this one gives out good results.”
Of course ! It’s rubber ! You knew it ! Especially now that you look again at your pitch black and slightly shiny pompadour, the same color as the short guy’s man bun. He goes to fiddle with his tools, putting away the comb, scissors and clippers, and drawing out another bottle full of that black thing… “nootcheye”, was it ? Whatever, that rubber thing he put on your head.
Feeling he was finishing up, you feel like it’s appropriate for you to stand back up… but just when you are in a vertical position, you feel something dropping. You look below, your pants and your underwear are on the ground, your shirt being the only thing still hanging on, although it is by now only hovering around your body.
You cry in shock, drawing the attention of the barber, who smiles, almost mocking you – though you don’t feel anything truly mean about it.
“Oops ! I guess I didn’t consider that law from that one smart French guy – what was his name… Lavoisier ? yeah, Lavoisier’s law of conservation of matter.” He half-mocks, sticking out his tongue.
You glare at him, growing angry.
“Okay, okay, don’t need to be this upset ! I was going to explain how the nuuch’ay works before you left anyway !” He throws his hands up in surrender. “Basically, it’s just stretching your body so that the hair is higher, so it had to take mass from somewhere else – that somewhere being your fat, mostly. « The nuuch’ay is currently keeping your body stretched, meaning that you will stay like that for quite a while. However, once it completely dries up, it will crack and then your body will go back to normal, whence why I couldn’t use the instantly drying up nuuch’ay.”
He starts helping you out of your shirt, revealing a lithe body, one that you hadn’t seen since early puberty. Although you can see muscles, they lack any definition, and are only revealed by the low amount of body fat you now have. By all definitions, you can now call yourself a definite twink. No matter how much of one you already were, by now there is no mistake, with how hairless and skinny you are.
“It should last about a month or two, I didn’t check when I made this bottle, but if you want to end it early, you have to warm your hair up with, for example, a perming machine.” He continues to explain, as he starts uncapping his other bottle of ‘nootcheye’. “But until then, your hair will stay exactly like this, no matter how much you squeeze it, wash it, or mess it up !”
As if to prove his point, he squeezes down your pompadour, and as he removes his hand it bounces back into place, as if nothing had happened. Bewildered, you let your hand reach your hair, messing it up in more and more extreme ways, but like rubber, it always gets back to its place. It just feels… surreal.
“By the way, we don’t have any spare clothes for you – all the spare are made for bigger people – so I will use this bottle to create clothes. Don’t worry, I have great taste.”
He pours the bottle of nuuch’ay he had in his hands, and it spreads over all your body, from your neck down to your feet, creating a big, black, shiny jumpsuit. But as it settles, red accents and multiple crevasses appear, until it has formed into a kind of black leathery tunic, one that you would more readily see in fetish publications than in the street.
But you love it.
And under the smile of Rilaj Mam who artfully wanders out of the field of view, you take a photo to commemorate that new hairstyle, that new shiny black pompadour.
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But before you go out of the barbershop, after having collected your bag and your unfortunately big clothes, Rilaj stops you.
“Sorry to bother you, but could you grant me a favor ?” He draws out a short red cigarette. “I found that thing when I went to Tokyo a few weeks ago, and I think your uncle might be interested in it.”
You look at him shocked when he suddenly mentions your uncle – especially knowing the unfortunate fate he suffered.
“Now, don’t make this face. I knew who you were ever since I saw your name booking this haircut, that’s the reason I chose to cut your hair. That guy at the welcome desk can attest that I’m very selective with my clients.” You hear a frustrated ‘yes’ from far away. “But if you have any questions, ask them to him, I won’t say anything he doesn’t want me to. After all, he is the only one who has the right to answer them...”
Hearing his tone, it feels as if he wanted you to ask questions to your uncle… Does he feel smart for trying to so blatantly manipulate you ? Or does he realize that you can’t ask questions to your uncle and expect a coherent answer anymore ?
“And, seriously, don’t use that cigarette. You saw how potent the nuuch’ay is, and this is more insidious. On that, send my regards to your uncle. Xtiqaatz’at chik na qii’.”
Without waiting for you to react, he leaves out the door, leaving more questions than answers.
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envy-of-the-apple · 8 months ago
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the jjk naga au is getting to me……..i fear im terminally ill with thoughts about it (seriously, top of the food chain is such a yummy series (?) and im soso obsessed with how you've written gojo’s and geto’s characters, i reread your works everyday, i just can't get enough! ^^)
and i hope you don't mind if i share a Thought i've had :3 (i was going for an mc who used to draw/sketch/make art just for this specific scenario)
Imagine that your time on the island's barely dragging on. There's only so many berries to pick and so many times you can braid Suguru’s hair into elaborate styles. You're bored, stranded on an island with these two naga captors and their (adorable) hatchlings.
Well, there's always playing with the hatchlings, or tussling with Satoru (he calls it playtime but you're far from amused when you get a faceful of sand when he tugs your legs out from under you) but you miss your alone time. That little bubble of yours. Ah, privacy. 
Like that'd happen, but you can dream.
It's a stroke of chance when Nobara comes to you with her new haul of human paraphernalia, all too excitedly. A leather satchel. Some printed photos of nameless faces with scenic backgrounds. A waterlogged cell phone, practically unsalvageable. A journal with pages so thoroughly soaked, it falls apart in wet clumps.
“What are these?” You can hear her rummage through the bag, her nose wrinkling slightly. “Smells weird.” And so you look over to see her glaring down at a (relatively new) set of oil paints, sealed away in the bag. It's likely that she picked up on the scent of the strange chemicals.
Your eyes are bright with hope as you gently pull it out of her hold. Ready to answer her million and one questions.
After all this time that you've thought of what you'd wished to be able to do, you're at a loss. You've got a wall to the cave to yourself, a set of oil paints and a makeshift brush from the wood of this one particular tree off the side of the island. The only thing you're missing right now is inspiration.
A muse.
Satoru and Suguru are snoozing. Peaceful and laid in each other's arms. you can appreciate the quiet to yourself.
You hear familiar shrieks and playful yells of the hatchlings' name. 
The slight bit of quiet, then.
Nobara and Yuji are wrestling in the water, arguing over something in a mix of clicks and curse words. The sight is an endearing one, but moving too quick.
So you do some searching inward.
And you paint what comes to mind. What you've felt this whole time.
“What's that?” Ever the curious one, Nobara rests her head on your shoulder to peer over at your artwork in progress. She doesn't understand any of it—and she wouldn't. Your human upbringing is leagues different from hers.
“... Home.” You murmur, and Nobara’s glancing up at you in wonder because of the way your eyes glisten, the way your hand lingers over to paint in a fine detail.
“Well, it was my home.” You smile back at her, and she's at ease. You're not sad—no, she'd make it everybody's problem if you were—and then she makes sure to know everything about the scene you've drawn.
“What's that?” She gestures. Careful not to smudge the paint off, index outstretched to a figure she doesn't recognise.
“That's a lamp. When it gets dark, we switch it on so there's light. Like the torches in the cave, you see?”
“Torch? Hmm… and that?”
It seems that talking about your old home brings a warmth to your voice. Nobara beams up at you all giddy as you explain, eager to learn more. Eventually Yuji slinks over to listen as well, more so to the sound of your voice than what you're saying.
You sound happy, the pair can tell. Like when you taste a berry sweeter than the others, or when you tell them stories of your own to lull them to sleep. They like the chime of joy in your voice, and neither stops you from rambling about your once-home. 
It's a moment of peace. and warmth.
Yet it shatters for you when you feel a strong muscled tail coil around your waist, that familiar sense of having your space invaded taking over. A very intrigued Satoru looms over you, eyes glinting as he takes in the sight. You know that something's off—he seems more punishing with how tight he holds you.
“Home, huh?” Satoru repeats, and even the hatchlings can tell that's their cue to leave. Nobara offers you a lingering glance, almost pouty before she slithers away, following after her brother.
The next early morning, you find your home gone. 
In a sense, it's a bitter joke to be played on you. Not only were you never going to be back at your own place, even the expression of the idea was taken away from you. Just like your freedom was. your choice. The wall of the cave was bare, not a hint of the paint or the sentiment lingering behind. As if someone hit a total reset. Paints nowhere to be found, your canvas scrubbed clean.
Suguru stretches out from behind you, one of the first few to wake up, wrapping you in a lazy hug, before he follows your gaze. You'd call the soft laugh that rumbles in his chest cruel. Mocking your homesickness in that loving way only he could manage.
“Must've rained last night.” He comments at the absence of your artwork, and you wish you could pinpoint at least an inch or sarcasm in his words. You nod quietly, and he draws you in closer.
Cold lips brush against your temple. 
“The only home you need is with us.”
The sand under your feet is drier than your throat.
(oh my god im sorry if i rambled too much, i hope its not annoying ^^;;)
jaw dropping. amazing. wHAT????
I love how anon made Nobara's characterization so much sweeter and innocent. Though it's probably cuz she's younger in this fic...considering she can still stay on land. And satosugu not even wanting you to THINK of your old home is so accurate. I feel the more they learn your language, the more eager they'll be to display ownership.
Anyway thx anon for making the fourth part! from now on if anyone wants an addition to the naga series turn to the anons not me.
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tiredsmashbros · 3 months ago
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and so we are gathered here today, to hear TSB's horrible 1k sobbing {LONG}
well guys, it's been officially a week later since the end of the "birthday party" event. crazy it already flew by fast but formerly something i really wanted to say from the very start: thank you.
quite frankly i know i could've just made a simple thank you text as a normal person does, but i wanted to really to show my gratitude by giving something nice. and that something nice was the discord server until... my chaotic brain decided to make a daily week event inspired by scott cawthon UIGHJDSXUKGJH but otherwise- i hope everyone enjoyed tuning in everyday and i've personally been having a blast talking and hanging out with everyone since.
now, i got my secret final card up my sleeve that i've been wanting to do. was to give back something to some specific folks. amazing folks. folks that one: were my introduction to this amazing smg4 community, and two: friends i've made that has genuinely changed my life for the better, and three: been the greatest support i could've ever asked. it's still insane to me that i knew my life would be changed the moment i clicked on a youtube video of someone yapping about a specific blue and purple character from a gmod meme show and if they would work canonical. following up with me just 3 hrs later my first fanart doodle for myself. with just recently that moment being so happy i reached 100 followers on here... if you would've told me four months later that it'll exceedingly grow 10x i would laugh at you and walked away... you guys are insane in the best way possible it has scared me to death, but never have i done better improving my skills and mental health.
and with that, i give to thy, my absolute wholeheartedly appreciation:
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@theartistisme43 you were the, if not one of, my first exposure to the community on twitter when i was looking for fanart on day one. i remember vividly being so captivated by your smg4 au by implementing sign language to your smg4 rigs. especially cause despite i've been meaning to relearn sign language for years, it has a special place in my heart for personal reasons. i remember being so obsessed with your animations replaying it again and again and adoring your art style so much. i've been {and still am} really shy expressing my feelings but seriously man i genuinely love your work so, so, SO much. it's still insane to me how you get the unfortunate rope under your feet by some nasty ass fools on twitter, but ong, they're just so jealous our your gmod rigging talent and storytelling. seriously man keep going!! always excited to see what you cooking up next! 💛
@ominus-potato + @bluestrawberrybunny adding you both together because ong it will feel weird to me if i didn't. of course, i am a fanfic addict once i get into a new fixation... and you two have been feeding me graciously. ominus, i love and get inspired by your fics SO MUCH it's insane to me how i'm alive after reading a new piece you've made /pos. you were also my introduction to marware and i've stayed since even if it was started of as a joke UIGHJV. strawberry i remember discovering you on artfight but exploded when i found out you were the creator of the apprenticeship au fic. i was shy to read it but i've been wanting to give you something before artfight started i finally caved in to the lore and my only regret is not getting into it sooner. i love both of ya'lls writing styles so much it's inspired me to genuinely get back into writing fanfics. thank you both so much and please continue writting!!!! i get so excited every now and again going to bed reading them. 💛🌈
@aquaproductions and speaking about artfight... yoU! i remember discovering you actually from trap sanchez's smg4 map BECAUSE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I WAS PAUSING TO SEE EVERY PEICE TO THEN EXPLODE WHEN YOU SHOWED THEM AT THE END HIUGJHFEDS i LOVE you style so much and god when i got the message from you on artfight i actually fucking screamed. even getting that attacked for you has never once failed to make me smile. i've overcome it by now,, but i genuinely was really shy because you are just so cool and i'm still going crazy the fact your a fan of the boys LIKE BROOOOOOOOOO IUGHJDSXYUJ. ahem- anyways... kEEP BEING SLAY AQUA!!!!! 💛💕💛
@coralalala64 + @cookiepopcat ah yes another duo bc im trying to shorten this but cause you both played a similar role for me. you two, i kid you not, are the first folks i followed while joining the smg4 community. i am in love with your traditional work sm corala i am just obsessed with comics and seeing someone was making 34 comics just made me jump in glee. additionally i love the c r e a t u r e gag sO MUCH T&*YGUIHJK. cookie in general i adore your artstyle so much and especially how you add those little sparks on the hair GUHH ITS SO CUTEEEE!!! i became more of a bigger fan from your shark au and now a fan of ur new au with 3! so excited to see what you guys got cooking up next!!! 🌿💛
@zurkton i know we don't get the opportunity to talk much more but i seriously wanted to feature you in as my appreciation from the insane support you've been giving me. seeing your comments make me smile in glee and even a bonus seeing something new you make. i adore your gmod style of these silly mario recolors BUT SRSLY MAN UR OWN STYLE IS SO GOOD AND SEEING U MADE AN OC FINALLY GUH ITS BEEN IN MY TO DO LIST FOR SOOOOOOO LONG. JUST GUH I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH PLEASE CONTINUE BEING AWESOME AND I HOPE WE CAN GET MORE TIME TO BE ABLE TO YAP MORE!!! /GEN 💛🍳
@clownypillar oh yeah. you bet your buggy ass i added you on here. cause bRO i was surprised to find someone else who loves bugs it made my little me so happy. and i still have not gotten over that smg4 cult of the lamb au you made since, i love that game sm seeing that on my feed just made me immediately become a fan. doesn't help the fact blue/silas says really amazing and silly things about you in our talks i was so shy finding the right opportunity to try and talk to you qnq,, and when the opportunity did come up {bot issue} I GOT EVEN MORE NERVOUS IHKJFEGDSXUGJH /POS i love your humor sm man you are so fun and i apologize silas has gotten you under the theory trap sigh... but other than that i need to get back into my retired bug fixation and find more ways to make fun of you as we yap and appreciate dr pepper 💛🌈🥤🐛
@libbytwq i still remember the day i got that tsb piece from you on artfight and literally screaming and running around my room in glee seeing my silly man in a silly looney pose. seriously man, ever since i saw that i immediately became a fan of you. i just am a sucker for your style man /srs. hECK i remember struggling so hard to pICK someone to fight back bc i genuinely loved all your ocs and wanted to do everyone- i also find it sO funny and ig coincidental theres so many like coincidences with you??? ong i need to say this or im going to continue going crazy- like ong libby {oc} reminds me one of my trusted friends oc and brings me back to my 2016 nostalgia days, i actually have an oc name lore who has a similar hair style as smgl:e, AND THE FACT WITH OUR SMG4 OCS LORE SIMILARITIES LIKE BRO WE LIVE IN A MATRIX OR SOME SHIT THIS MAKES MY BRAIN EXPLODE AAAAAIOYUIGHJEFDSXZ /J but in all seriousness bro, i love talking with you and seeing your silly work so much. i know you're gonna be makin awesome things bro and you bETTER WIN THOSE MARCHING BAND COMPETITIONS IUGJHEDS 👑🍔🌈💛
@its-a-me-mango mango mango mango... YOU BRITISH FREAK- anyways. you seriously were one of my favorite artist when i joined and ngl i was absolutely terrified talking to you to the point i legit thought you hated me at some point IOKJEHFDWS heCk getting that attack from you on artfight blew my fucking mind bc i was screaming over the tari duck since af was the only place i dropped the tari love interest and i didnt realized it until i looked at your page that you were THE MANGO... bro i actually fucking exploded you have no fucking idea how happy i was 🌈. like you are one srsly one of my favorite inspirations man i love your artwork, your humor, and just everything man. i'm still going internally insane that im talking to you sm bro and the memes we mAKE BRO IM UYIGJHFDWSXZYUITJG THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A SILLY MANGO HORSE DOCTOR DUDE, YOU ARE SO COOL, INCREDIBLE, AND MAN WHERE IS THAT SNOWTRAPPED 1K YOU PROMISED /J i could go on a bit more but im literally exploding just writing this rn so now imma just lalalalalalalala 🍔💛🌈🥭🐴
@josiekatxd / josiekatxd jo. you are one insane creature /pos. LIKE DAMN MAN YOU DRAW SO FAST IT WAS WILD GETTING ALL THE AMAZING TSB GIFTS AND GETTING TO KNOW MORE OF UR OC 7 JUST BECAME A MORE JOYOUS RIDE!!!! i love your work so much man and the amount of support i've gotten from you makes me so so SOOSOSOSOS HAPPY ITS OVERWHELMING /POS. i enjoy talking with you man {even if i may be slow at timess..} pLEASE dont be afraid to send me smth, more yummy art or MEMEMSSSSS i appreciate anything and everything!!! this was honestly such a joy getting to draw 7 again she's been stuck in my head for so long hELPPP /SILLY 🌿⭐️💛
@rr3d2y AKO!!!!! YOU!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY MAN EVER SINCE THAT ATTACK YOU MADE FOR ME FROM ARTFIGHT I HAVE BEEN A DIEHARD FAN SINCE. I WENT ABSOLUTELY INSANE OVER IT SO MUCH I HAD TO SHARE IT WITH MY IRL FRIENDS IT MADE ME SO HAPPY. EVEN MORE HOW YOU ACTUALLY IMPLEMENT MY INTERESTS EVERY TIME YOU ATTACKED??? LIKE HELLOOOO??????? AND DAWKO??????? AND JUST UR OC IN GENERAL I LOVE HER SO MUCH BROOOO IUYGJHEFWDCSXZUYHKJ EDWSHJDCS LIKE DUDE I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH I COULD WRITE A FULLBLOWN ESSAY UNTIL YOU BARGED IN WITH YUMMY ART EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU SPOIL ME SO MUCH AKO YOU ARE INSANELY INCREDIBLE AND SUCH A JOY TO TALK TO AND BE SILLY WITH. IT MADE ME SO HAPPY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO SHARES MY INTERESTS FROM THE START AND I STILL GO CRAZY EVERY TIME ANY OF IT IS MENTIONED. WHETER ITS SMG4, DAWKO, CG5, FAIRYOFFPARENTS, SONIC, WOLVERINE UYIGJHEFDSCXUIGJH IT ALL MAKES ME JUMP UP AND DOWN KICKING MY FEET MAN. I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY IM A BIG FAN AKO. I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE 1 MILLION PERCENT AND ADORE YOUR SUPPORT SO MUCH. THANK YOU AKO THE GREAT!!!! LIFETIME SUPPLY OF CHOCOLATE MILK FOR YOU!!!!!!! 🍫🥛💛🌈🍔💕
@radiantrevolt i know your not in the smg4 community whatsoever let alone know anything but i srsly meant it that receiving your support was such a big deal to me man. i never expected you to join the server but it genuinely made me feel more secure knowing i got you right my side just like old times. your support means the world to me man even if i suck as explaining or expressing that. you genuinely mean a lot to me man and the fact your still sticking around if still mind boggling to me evermore. thank you ander for staying by my side and willing to do so even at a space your unfamiliar with. being able to talk to you again has been such a joyride 💛💛💛💛🌈🐈‍⬛
and lastly...
these two freaks...
@strange0-0storm + @bluesbox... honestly... i owe you two a lot. genuinely. storm i remember you specifically when i first started acknowledging the smg4 community bc of how recognizable smg8 was on tumblr and immediately finding you to be so cool. so cool in fact, I WAS TOO SHY TO INTERACT TYIGHJFEDS. i LOVE smg8 so much and getting to see your other ocs such as jessee, cold cash, spamton... 8YIUGFEDSU J ITS JUST SO COOL AND HOLY FUCK MAN I LOVE YOUR ART SO FUCKING MUCH. I AM STILL FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THE TSB PIECE FROM ARTFIGHT MAN VDCXZUYJHGF ITS JUST SO PERFECT I CAN GO FUKING GO OFF AGAIN IHUGFJEDS but in all seriousness man, thank you so much for having the courage to respond to my lipbite comic, to me having the courage to follow you back and interact with you more, to giving me the courage again to join ur server, and the courage to say yes to watching popee with you and silas. finn you have no idea how much your silly words have an impact on me you make me so nervous in the most positive silliest way you have no idea how genuine happy i was being in that call for the very first time. even tho i know how quiet and anxious i was from the start, it was cause i was so shy and nervous bc man it was you! YOU!!!! you're such a fucking awesome guy finn i want you to seriously never forget that!!!! silas, thank you for even talking to me. hell, even after finn left to sleep we stayed and yapped for few more hours. i was never expecting that outcome ever in my life due to past experiences, and im so glad to the earth and back that it did come out as it did. i love talking to you man, i love seeing your work so much, and adore and appreciate to the fullest all the gifts you made me. thank you even more for getting me into the great gatsby and returning my hidden sherlock fixation back to light. i appreciate it way more that i can ever express it man. whether it may us talking about our day, silly nonsense, or me bullying you /j, it makes me so happy. and so grateful i can call you and finn my friends. you guys seriously helped me get out of my darkest angst shell i've had caged inside myself for the past, i didnt think i would ever escape from let alone actually be able to heal from. i didn't think i could ever be the happy ever again. like guys, i look forward to every week getting to get on a call with you guys so much its honestly my favorite activity/event of the week. i know im just silly guy i don't ever show my sappy self ever to ya'll but i mean it wholeheartedly ya'll helped me out so much more than you guys could ever imagine. i love you both so much i just wanna pick you two up and throw you into a canon so we could all go to disney world together and be just be silly. thank you finn, thank you silas 💛🤍💙🍔🍟🥤
i could honestly continue yapping but i was not expecting this to take longer than i was originally expecting so imma just end it here for now. i do want to thank everyone in the smg4 community for your continuous support. the amount of appreciation and love i get is still insane for me to grasp and i adore every single piece of giftart i've ever received. never did i expect to grow this big let alone meet such incredible and talented people ever in my life. i genuinely love all of you guys. thank you so much and onwards to more silliness!!! 🍔🌈 ⛅️🌿
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gingerylangylang1979 · 1 year ago
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Gifs courtesy of @gentlesleaze
Carmy wants Sydney... carnally. 
I’ve debated about what his epic face journey here meant for a year now and I’m without a doubt convinced he was seriously attracted to Sydney from the day they met. There is no other explanation. I mean, if somebody wants to try another explanation go for it, but um. Who looks at a new employee like this? Would he have looked at Marcus like this? Let’s be for real. 
Why is he like this? It’s just too weird. He looks like he just saw a sexy angel (he did). Carmy is a bit odd but this is the weirdest he has ever acted. I mean it’s really stunning and I think just shows there was always something there with him for her. I don’t see how you can deny he is acting so extra. He can’t speak at first, he forgot he was expecting her because he is so surprised by her, he’s just staring, he can barely talk professionally, he forgets what UPS is, then he does this crazy shy double take. His voice is hella soft with her. He needed to look at her again, but it’s almost like he feels guilty. I could analyze these acting choices forever. It’s a really fascinating scene. 
Carmy thinks Sydney is gorgeous. He thought so from the first time he saw her. Now, he kind of tucked away that info super quick. He’s a gentleman and he’s professional. She’s qualified, actually overqualified, of course he’s gonna hire her. But Carmy’s not a pervert so he’s not gonna hire her and sexually harass her. He’s gonna keep it chill. He’s surely worked with attractive women before. No biggie... right? He can keep it together. When Richie calls her sweetheart he checked him. See, it’s all good. No worries. 
But he can’t stop staring. Carmy stares at Sydney often. He loves her face. There are times when what he is communicating could easily be communicated without being up in her face. But no, he is like as close to her face as he can be without being on it, examining from multiple angles as much as possible. He likes to turn to her. He likes to look up at her. He likes to look down at her. He likes to side-eye her. He appreciates art, beauty. Her face is that. She’s so precious to him. Notice how when we see her from his perspective she’s always extra glowy. 
Anyways, I’m sorry when this man gets her the lovemaking is going to be so raw and passionate. I’m telling you. He wants this woman, in his bed, like Moonstruck style. He just isn’t fully aware, but he does think she’s absolutely beautiful. He probably also thinks there is no way she wants him. 
This has to be fun for Jeremy to act. None of his Shameless romances had this kind of depth. This is an epic, super nuanced slow burn on a quality drama. He gets to be spicy, but sneaky, and unsure. And Ayo is so funny. They must be having a blast with this. 
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lostbookmark · 4 months ago
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MDNI 18+ 🔞
WHISPERED SECRETS MASTERLIST
Summary: After four years, your sister's ex-boyfriend comes back into your life. Can you keep your entanglement a secret? Will the guilt eat you alive? 
Pairing:  Sisters ex Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader. 
Genre: SMUT, angst, hurt - comfort, romance. 
Warning: Explicit sex, fingering, Possessive Yoongi, swearing, reader is insecure, jealousy, punishment, unprotected sex, drinking, dirty talk, praising, degradation, spanking, spanking as punishment, teasing, hair pulling, arguments. Overuse of the name, baby, Use of prescription medication. 
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You stare at your sister from across your parents table. She looks good as always, happy and almost glowing. The man next to her is just as beautiful. Mingyu is tall, handsome, and personable. The perfect example of someone you want to bring home to your parents.  He develops something, real-estate you think. Not exactly sure what that means, you’ll have to google later.  He screams money with his designer clothes, fancy watch and shiny shoes. He is perfect for her and they look good together.  He's nice, really nice and you're honestly so happy for her.  You wonder how long they have been together. Your parents must have known about him as they didn't seem surprised when he showed up with her. It makes you feel all the more guilty. You feel guilty for lying, for not knowing about her life anymore.  You feel guilty that Yoongi will never have your family's approval.  
You stay quiet during dinner, just moving the food on your plate around with your fork. You don't have much of an appetite. Your mother won't stop gushing over the two of them as she watches them with the biggest smile on her face. She goes on and on about how handsome Mingyu is, how successful he is. You feel embarrassed on his behalf. Your dad seems like he's tuned out of the conversation, keeping one eye on the tv. You should have known something was up when she said that she wanted an additional dinner this month besides Christmas and had asked you to dress up. You thought maybe she was going to set you up with a blind date.  Yoongi didn't find it funny. He gave you a light spank as a warning. 
“I'm happy we can be here today,” your sister says, bouncing in her seat. Her smile is a perfect pearly white. She must get them whitened regularly.  “We have some news.”  You watch as she takes Mingyu's hand. “We are getting married.” she says, holding up her left hand to show off a huge diamond. The sunlight catches the diamond to show off how truly beautiful it was.  You know that she's in love with it. She always loved things that sparkled. 
Your mom cries out in joy, hugging her as they start jumping up and down squealing like teenagers.  She’s never been happy for you. You think bitterly. She didn't care about you passing your drivers test, your first homecoming with an actual date, getting into art school. She always went after your faults, and your sister reaped all the benefits. You plaster a smile on your face watching them, hoping it comes off as sincere. Your dad offers congratulations by shaking Mingyu’s hand. Mingyu, however, looks at you with a curious expression on his handsome face . You're not sure what he is thinking. You wonder what she has told him about you. Was it that you were an awful, harlot, boyfriend stealing woman?  That you were the worst sister in the world. Maybe she doesn't say anything at all. Maybe he thought you were some weird stranger at the table. 
“Do you have the style of your bridesmaid dresses picked? We will have to get Y/N’s measurements done,” your mom started, but your sister cut her off. 
“I already picked my bridal party. There's just not enough room,” your sister explains. “You understand, right, Y/N?” 
“Sweetheart, I'm sure there's room,” Mingyu told her. “I'll find another groomsman.” 
“No, she understands. It's just not in the budget.”  She looks at you with a tight smile. You just want the ground to open up and swallow you whole. This…this is how much she hates you. Does she know? Does she know that you are with Yoongi?  That he spent an hour with his face buried between your thighs this morning, trying to calm you down about this dinner. Can she smell him on you? No one says anything until Mingyu clears his throat. 
"That's…uh…an interesting ring,” he says to kill the quiet. “A sun, it's pretty.”
“Umm, yeah, my boyfriend gave it to me,” you say quietly. You hold your breath and pick at the napkin in your lap. This is not how you wanted to break the news. Honestly, you don't think that you ever planned on telling them.  You just hoped that maybe, somehow, you two would have been able to run away and start again where no one knew you.
“Boyfriend?” Your mom asks. “Since when do you have a boyfriend? One serious enough to buy you jewelry?” 
“Uh,” Mingyu looks a little panicked like he shouldn't have said something. “What about work? What do you do?” he asked, trying to change the subject. 
“Oh, she's just an accountant at a small-time, no named business.” Your sister answers for you as she eyes your ring.  “Nothing important.” 
“No, I quit,” you tell her. Your mom literally dropped into her seat. “I'm starting an art program in the summer, and I have a new job with more flexible hours that will accommodate me.”
“Art?” Mingyu exclaimed. “My company loves doing charity for local school programs. You know, art supplies for classrooms, dress clothes for choir performances, and offering financial assistance with band instruments.” 
“What? I didn't know this,” your sister said, looking at her fiancée like he grew another head. 
“You never asked,” he said quietly. “Sports are great and all but…the arts always get overlooked. Music and drawing are such amazing ways for kids to express themselves.” 
“How are you going to afford an art program?” Your mom asked you. Damn, you even had your dads attention.
“My boyfriend is paying for it,” you say quietly. “He got me my job too.” 
“Where are you working now?” Your mom asked, and boy, does she look pissed. “Who the hell is this boyfriend?  You better not be doing…things… to get him to pay for you.”
“Uhh,” Mingyu says. Poor, poor Mingyu, he doesn't know what he walked into.  You think that he's starting to sweat.
“A record company,” you say quietly, staring down at your plate. You're trying to brush off her insinuation that you're a sugar baby or something. Is she wrong, though?  “My boss Namjoon…”
“Kim Namjoon?” Mingyu asked, tilting his head to the side. 
“You know him?” You question as your eyes snap to him, and your heart rate starts to pick up. 
“Yeah, we've done charity events together. He has a small crew, too. Jimin, Hoseok, and uhh…” he trails off, trying to remember. “He was super quiet and didn't really say much.” You panic. He knows of Yoongi. This can not be happening. “Man, what was his name? He looked angry.” 
“Jimin is dating my friend Lisa. That's how I met them,” you explain quickly, lying, hoping to break his train of thought. “Their uhhh…yeah, dating.” 
It’s quiet again as four sets of eyes stare at you as you ramble. It's an awkward silence that you need to get out of.  You excuse yourself from the table and race out to the back patio as fast as you can. Hoping if you can avoid any more of the conversation, and they will just move on. 
Taking a deep breath of fresh air, you look around, and you try to calm your fast beating heart. Your parents took everything down slowly throughout the years. The tree house, the trampoline, and the swingset. Your sister always made you push her on the swing so she could pretend to be some sort of fairy princess. She never pushed for you.  Your whole childhood is gone. Even though it wasn't the happiest, it still hurt to know it was gone.  You pull out your phone and quickly send Yoongi a text.
It's a shit show. Will you call me for an emergency? 
Sorry, my love. He texted back. Tell them your dog is sick
I don't have a dog, you replied.
Do they know that? he answered. 
Behind you, the door slides open, and your sister storms up to you. Her eyes are heated, and you're pretty sure she's trying to kill you with her glare. She crosses her arms and starts tapping her foot. 
“You made me look stupid in there. Mingyu won't stop asking questions about why we don't know anything about your life. Why I won't let you be a bridesmaid? How you should be my maid of honor.” She hisses at you and pokes you in the chest. Her bony ass finger hurts. “You need to fix this mess.” 
“He asked a question, and I answered,” You defend yourself. “What do I tell him? That you and mom only give a shit about each other. That I've been trying to move on with my life without you two making me feel bad all the time?”  
“Oh, you're so full of yourself. No one was ever out to get you,” she rebuttals.  Your phone chimes, and you ignore it. “You locked yourself away and always expected everyone to help you. It's not our fault you didn't have a life. Your poor me shit needs to stop.” 
“I was a kid. Dad was never around,” you yell at her. Your phone chimes again. “Mom was always stuck up your ass. Your pageants, dance, and everything else you did. Yeah, I needed help.”  
Your phone rings this time. You flip your phone to look at the screen. You freeze. You forgot that Yoongi's contact picture was of the two of you. Lisa had bullied her way into his studio and took the picture. She made him kiss you on the cheek as you sat on his lap, and to your surprise, he actually did it. He kicked her out not long after. You hear your sister gasp, and your eyes fly to her face. She is stunned, staring at your phone. It stops ringing, only to immediately start ringing again, picture popping back up. 
“You have gotta be kidding me,”  she says lowly, harshly. “Is that Yoongi? Tell me right now! Why do you have a picture of him kissing you?”
“I…I…” you stutter.
 “Yoongi? Your boyfriend is Yoongi? WHAT THE FUCK!” she screams. “ANSWER ME! IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND? ”
Your parents come out back where you two were. Mingyu is not with them. You wonder where he went. You hope he ran away, far, far away. You hope he doesn't come back and that he can find someone that is….not your sister. someone who will appreciate his charity and kindness. Someone who wants to help people and isn't selfish.  Your sister snatches your phone out of your hand.
“She's dating Yoongi, mom,” she cries out. She waves your phone in front of your moms face, showing her the missed calls. “I always told you…” 
“Leave it alone,” your dad says, cutting her off. You, your sister, your mom, you all freeze. You think this is the most you ever heard him speak in years. “Give her her phone back.” 
“Y/N, how could you do this to her,” your mom scolds, ignoring your father. “I told you to leave him alone years ago. You never listen. Why can't you ever listen? Do you know how selfish this is?” 
“How long did you wait to go after him?” she snarled at you. “It was always pathetic how you always followed him around like a lost puppy. He hated it too, you know?”  No, no, she's lying….please let her be lying.  “He always hated helping you. He called you a burden all the time.”
“I SAID LEAVE IT!” Your father yells. “ I've sat back for years and kept quiet. No more, leave her alone. Give her the phone back right now!” 
Your sister looks murderous. Your phone chimes. She smiles a sardonic smile as she looks at the screen. Instead of handing you the phone, she throws it on the hard cement below you.You cry out and pick it up….it's shattered. Your family is shattered, and Mingyu is probably shattered. The tears are streaming down your face. Yoongi, you want Yoongi. You need him to fix this. Were you a burden to him?
“You knew I loved him, and you always wanted everything I had. You jealous bitch! You are dead to me,” she whispered. “I will never speak to you again.”
Crying, you push past her and run through the house and out the front door. You grab your purse and your keys hanging on the hook on the way out. Running to your car, you slip and fall on the icy driveway. A sharp pain radiates through your wrist as you land on it. It takes your breath away for a moment. You ignore it as you manage to climb into your car. Your phone screen is glitching. You can't even pull up your contacts as it flickers erratically.   
“Hey Siri, call, Yoongs,” you try to command your phone as you slam your car door shut. Sighing in relief, you hear your phone respond to your command. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you chant to yourself. The phone rings, and it's choppy and staticky. 
“Ba..,” Yoongi answers. You can barely hear him. “...omthin….wron…” 
Your phone completely turns off. No…no…no. Starting your car, you race back home to your apartment. Not Yoongi's but yours. You've been slowly packing. You have a week to be out. You just wanted your bed, your warm, comforting cocoon. You slam your door as soon as you get there. You don't even bother locking it as you dodge the boxes scattered about to get to your bedroom. Burying yourself in your blankets, you cover your head with your pillow and cry. Loud, full chest sobs, such violent sobs your body shakes. It gets hot quickly under there, but you don't care. You don't want anyone hearing you. You're too vulnerable, and it's an ugly sight.  Fuck…your wrist hurts. 
“Baby,” Yoongi's voice rang out. “Y/N.”  His voice is muffled due to the pillow over your head. “Y/N,” he's close now.  His body drops on the bed, jostling you a little. “You're scaring me.” 
Yoongi pulls the pillow off your head and moves the blankets down. He reveals your sweaty red face as tears stream down your cheeks from your bloodshot eyes. You're sure your face is probably all snotty, too. You're too far gone to care about it, though. 
“They know,” you whisper to him. “She smashed my phone.”  Yoongi grabs your phone that was laid beside you and inspects it.  “She has a fiancée. He was so nice and I ruined it for her. He knows Joon,” you explain. “I think he knows who you are too, and I panicked. I thought he was going to out us, and I didn't……” You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down.  “She saw our picture when you called.” 
“Y/N,” he sighs and wipes the sweat and hair away from your face.
“I fell…my wrist really hurts,” you sob loudly, showing him your injured wrist.  Yoongi gently picks up your wrist and tries to examine it.
“We should get you to the hospital,” he says softly, but you shake your head no. “It could be broken.” 
“She said you called me a burden all the time. That you hated it when I followed you around,” you start crying again. 
“What?” Yoongi’s face turns hard and red. “I never said that. You were the reason I stuck around for as long as I did.” 
That shocked you. Your questions surrounding their relationship have never been answered. After today, you feel like you have a million more. They were together for two years. You always just kind of thought that they just grew apart. Now, you're not so sure anymore.  His comment just now. His note in that red envelope with the ring, your picture in his studio. You clearly don't know anything.  
“Let me take you to the hospital,” Yoongi says as he kisses the side of your head. “I'll try and pull some strings. My friend Jin might be on tonight. He'll take good care of you.” 
“You have a lot of friends,” you say, leaning into his chest. You cradle your own hand to your chest. 
“Yeah,” he agrees. “You were never and will never be a burden to me. Let's go, we can get some ice cream after, and I can try and finish packing.” 
“Okay,” you agree. “I love you, Yoongi.”
“I love you, too,” he whispers. 
“Well, you are one lucky young lady,” Dr. Kim said, coming back into your room. Your x rays in hand.
Yoongi wasn't lying when he said he could probably pull some strings. As soon as you got to  the hospital, they got you right in. Unfortunately,  you wouldn't be you without embarrassing yourself somehow. When Dr. Kim introduced himself and shook your good hand. You may have giggled, and Yoongi sighed in defeat. He's very handsome and his smile is so beautiful. See, you're starting to feel better already. You didn't need to come.
“Just a sprain. A grade 2 sprain. Rest it, ice it, elevate it, and keep it wrapped, I just prescribed you some mild pain meds, and you can pick those up on the way out at the pharmacy. You'll be just fine in about 6 weeks or so.” Dr. Kim explained. “Any question?”
“No,” you answered. “Thank you, Dr. Kim.” 
“It was my pleasure. Finally, meeting my little Yoongi’s girlfriend is the highlight of my night,” Dr. Kim tells you.  “Please call me Jin. We are family now,” he continues. “Also, always remember when you get a bladder infection…”
“Jin, don't,” Yoongi says, trying to cut him off.
“...urine trouble.” Dr. Kim….Jin throws his head back and slaps his leg laughing at his own joke. Yoongi shakes his head in embarrassment. You can't help but giggle, his laugh is infectious. “Okay, kids. You're free to go, Y/N take care of  Yoongi for me.”  Yoongi looks unimpressed as Jin leaves the two of you alone. You finally break out in full laughter.  You think the meds have kicked in. 
“It doesn't hurt anymore,”  you say in awe as you flop your hand around.
“Stop that,” Yoongi says from the driver's seat.
“You know what!” You exclaim while bouncing in your seat. “Fuck her! Fuck my sister….well…you already have but still.”
“Hey, watch it,” Yoongi growls at you. He stops at a red light glaring at you.
“Oh come on. You were together for years. I'm not stupid….you've fucked her. Wow, these meds are great,” you laugh at yourself. Yoongi mumbles something to himself you can't make out in your haze. “Sex must have been good with her for you to put up with her like you did. You know what we should do?” 
“What?” Yoongi asks, sounding exasperated, but you miss it. He pulls back into your lot and helps you out of the car.
“OH I KNOW!” You yell out and look at him with a serious look . “YOONGI! When did you get here?”  Yoongi puts his hand over your mouth, shushing you. Thank the Lord you live on the first floor. It probably looks like he's kidnapping you right now. “Oh, Oh, we should make a sex tape! A really, really, really dirty one. I'll even let you jack it on my face! Yeah! Yeah! Then…I'll send it to her. We'll be naked!” 
Yoongi huffed a little as he struggled with you. He finally managed to get you inside of your apartment and into your bedroom with you stumbling most of the way. You gave him work out trying to change you into something comfortable. 
“Noooo,” you whine. “NAAAAAKKKEEEED!”
“Okay, my little adult film star. You lie down, and I'll get the camera,” Yoongi says, placating you. You snuggle down into your bed, and as soon as your head hits the pillow, you're out. Snores and all. You miss the worried look on Yoongi's face and the sad smile he gives you.  Turning off the light, Yoongi leaves you alone. Maybe you weren't as sure about this relationship as he thought. 
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A/N: I understand she probably would have just taken something like Tylenol for her wrist. I needed her to be loopy for this one. 
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