#how to use debt wisely
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financia012 · 2 months ago
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How My Perspective on Debt Changed: From Fear to Financial Tool”
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind? Introduction: For a long time, I was taught that debt was something to avoid at all costs. Growing up, I saw debt as a burden—something that could trap you and ruin your financial future. However, as I learned more about personal finance and grew in my understanding, I realized that debt, when managed wisely, could be a powerful tool…
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wonnieaura · 9 months ago
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financial knowledge for the girlies 🤍🍓💸
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Develop a budget: Creating and sticking to a budget can help you better understand your income and expenses, and learn how to prioritize your spending.
Save regularly: Saving money is crucial for achieving financial stability. You can set up automatic transfers to a savings account so you won't be tempted to spend the money.
Pay off debt: High-interest debt can hinder your financial progress. Make a plan to pay off your debts and focus on high-interest debts first.
Invest wisely: Investing can help your money grow over time. Look for low-cost index funds, which can give you broad exposure to the market at a low cost.
Understand compound interest: Compound interest is the interest you earn on interest. By investing consistently, the power of compound interest can help you build wealth over time.
Research before making big financial decisions: Before making a major decision, such as buying a house or car, research different options and weigh the costs and benefits.
Learn from your mistakes: Every failure or setback can teach you something valuable. Use these experiences to inform your future financial decisions.
Get professional advice: Seek advice from a financial advisor if you're unsure about your financial decisions. They can provide guidance on investments, retirement planning, and tax strategies.
Be aware of scams: Scammers can take advantage of financial illiteracy. Be cautious when someone offers an investment that's too good to be true.
Continuous learning: Financial knowledge is constantly changing, so stay informed by regularly reading financial news, books, and attending classes or webinars.
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evilgwrl · 2 months ago
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Arranged marriage! With ghost where she’s from a small island and ghost comes to collect taxes well the island is just a few hundred short they can make it up next year? Right?! Nah ghosts is like mmmmm I’ll take what yall call a princess mean while she’s struggling as much as the other fokes on the island so when Simon takes her way and finds out she’s never lived the simple life he makes it his mission to show her the good that can out of this arrangement smutty if you would 😭 I’m obsessed with the arranged marriage trope with ghost he’s a cutie patootie
Arranged Marriage w/ Simon Riley
Holy moly I love this…
Thank you for this idea @creepytoes88 I hope you don’t mind that I made him a king, I just wanted it to flow with giving her a better life and the tax collection <3
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King!Simon Riley x Reader
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Archipelago
CW: Being sold by your family to pay off debt, sharing a bath, oral sex (f receiving), orgasm bc simon knows what to do ;)
Word Count: 2,623
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Twisted fingers hooked under the bark, knees scraped with stagnant flora, coiling limbs of bushy thorns blistering around the tropical plains. There was a subtle burn that sunk through your thighs, muscles gnawing at your bones before you finally settled on a thick branch, wind hissing in your ear, almost warning you. You paid no attention.
Pupil-blown eyes stared off to the view in front of you, lapping in the vicious strain of turquoise, untouched coral glistening an array of colours under the harsh sun. There was a trickle of sweat that ran down the back of your neck, your hair thrown into a rough bun as you shielded yourself with raggedy, overworked fingers.
You watched the skerries surrounding your island, a flurry of birds swooping low before nestling down on the warmth of the rocky floor. It was a peaceful sight. Nothing but the low crash of waves to be sound, the occasional calling of a fellow Islander working its way through the palms and out of the sand, before landing in your ear.
You felt the prickle of pain shoot through your feet as you landed on the ground, the grass covered in speckles of yellow dust sticking in between your toes as you hurried down to the village. Any bit of tranquillity soon disappeared as your eyes locked into the sight of the townspeople, the Island far too small to accommodate such needing families.
“Y/N! Where have you been? The King shall be here soon and you’re off running with the fairies.”
Your Mother’s tone was harsh and reprimanding, her eyes tight with wrinkles as she scowled, chucking a makeshift broom at you. You weren’t exactly sure what the difference of you sweeping would make, the life you live here, swept or not, is strikingly different to the one of a King. No matter how beautiful your Island is, your feet are permanently stained with grains of sand, skin is littered with dull scars and fresh scratches.
You understood her worry, offering her a gentle, apologetic smile as you followed her bustle of orders. Your Father was the village Chief, a wise man who led the people to survive without the worry of advanced civilisation.
You were seen as a headcase to the others. A woman whose head wasn’t fixed well enough to her shoulders. A dreamer. Your mind was amplified by the need to do more, to see more. Untouched beauty too turns mundane when you’re not allowed to experience it.
As night fell, the waves seemed to settle, burying themselves in the crops of sand that spanned around you, 10-legged creatures hiding away in the cocoon of a cracked shell. Palms slept with the safety of coconuts that would blossom into the town’s delicacy, the meat tender on the tongues of children, the water fuel for the fishermen. There was a large bonfire lit, the earthly crackle occasionally popping as a spark flew out, hissing against the cool air before dispersing into a drag of smoke.  
Girls chattered around you, smoothing down their appearances as they used crushed berries on their lips and the apples of their cheeks. You were never fussed about the King, hardly paying attention to him on his previous arrivals if he even bothered to show up. You took note of his lack of empathy, normally sending one of his men in his place, unbothered by the Island that’s supposed to fall under his command.
You heard the ship pull up, wood striking against the ground as it split between the beach, a carved woman tangled to the figurehead, flowing hair etched between wood and a man’s knife as she breached the island. They were a loud bunch, deep voices echoing across the Isle as your father walked down to greet them formally.
The air grew silent, thick smog suffocating the air as your father appeared, his figure shaking as he hobbled towards you. Toughened hands gripped your cheeks, stroking the sun-kissed skin to comfort you.
“Father, what’s wrong?”
“We- We’re short on our taxes,” he gulped, a hand planted in your matted hair as you scrunched your brows together.
“But how? We’re sensible, we work harder- How?”
“Things happen beyond our understanding sometimes, sweetheart, just know me and your mother love you very much.”
“I know? Why are you-” you stalled “- Why are you telling me this? What’s going on?”
“The King needs a wife,” he hiccupped as realisation set in, spine snapping into a cold flush as you attempted to wriggle free from your father’s grip.
“No-“
“I have to, Y/N, I don’t have a choice!”
“A choice? There’s always a choice! How could you do this to me?” The strain of a sob wracked through your chest, your heart beating eerily slow against your rib cage as you wailed out for your mother who only walked away, her face concealed by strands of hair. Hands coiled around your biceps, dragging you towards the ship as you carried on, cementing your heels into the dirtied sand to anchor yourself.
“Stop resisting,” A harsh voice spoke into your ear, nails breaking the surface of your tender skin as you nipped at the air, wriggling. Your limbs felt mangled as you were thrown over someone’s shoulder, your stomach caving in with a penetrative force as you choked on the air, saline tears streaming down your face.
Aching skin collided with the sand as you were thrown onto the floor, leather boots staring back at you as your head cocked up. His figure was tall, dressed in all black with a row of medals displayed on his breast pocket. His stare was dark, irises the colour of burnt whiskey, pale lashes flickering down at you before looking back up. The rest of his face was covered by a woven garment, handcrafted to perfection, painted with a white skull.
“Did you find it necessary to throw her at my feet like she’s some dog?”
“Your Majesty she was res-“
“It is a yes or no question.”
His voice was thick with malt, a hidden arrogance underlying his words as his eyes spoke for him. A veiny hand was offered to you, light scars tracing his knuckles before he lifted you, admiring you for a brief second.
“She’ll do. I’ll be back in 6 months,” The King spoke roughly.
The sea breeze was tranquil given the circumstances, the ocean rocking your tears to a halt as you huddled yourself away in the captain’s quarters. Your body was trailed with layers of silk, dirtied clothes moulded to your skin as you sniffled. There was a vast smell of salt, almost suffocating you as it burnt through your nose and hair. You scrunched your skin, rubbing at your nostrils before nestling yourself into a pillow.
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You awoke to the sound of commotion. You took in the handful of women surrounding you, their hair tied back in a tight bun, protected by a frilly cap. They wore black and white dresses, aprons attached to their fronts and smiles on their faces.
“Good evening, your majesty. Shall we run you a bath?”
You sat up, hands creasing against the sheets below you as your eyes adjusted to the new scenery. You weren’t on the ship anymore.
“Where am I?” You choked out, huffing your chest out to look more intimidating. In reality, you look cowered, skin droopy with betrayal, burst blood vessels evident under your eyes.
“In your private quarters, the King requested we come to you, settle you in.”
You scowled, “I just want to be alone.” They left in a hurry, feet skidding against the floor in a squeak as they shut the large oak doors behind them.
The room was one for Royalty. The large bed was dressed in golden sheets, red swirls detailing the plush headpieces, solid gold baubles along the edges as tall stakes met the ceiling, lace hanging from them for privacy. Your feet hit the polished marble floors; calloused skin not used to such luxury that you almost yelped in unfamiliarity. Glass trickled from the overhead chandelier, an arrangement of crystals advocating flickers of light across the room, an occasional rainbow seeping through like a diamond in the rough.
Oil paintings hung from the walls, detailed gold wrapping around them as the figurines stared at you dauntingly. A plethora of books rested on shelves, a comforting sofa tucked away in the corner, highlights of red bursting through the stuffed pillows, plucked by the finest of feathers.
The room felt suffocating, the air a terminal sickness that wove into your lungs as you realised the severity of the situation. Your father – your parents, had sold you away to the King to pay for lost taxes. You were a miserable sight as you huddled over onto the floor, chest collapsing with cries as you attempted to grip the material beneath your knees, desperate for the sensation of sand.
Simon watched you intently from the door as he cracked it open, a deafening cough sounding from him as you looked up at him, bewildered.
“I understand the circumstances aren’t the best, but your people owed me, and they chose you as collateral.”
“I want to go home,” you hiccupped, facing away from him in humiliation. His leather shoes hit the floor, striding up to you in only a few steps.
“This is your home now, and in a few weeks, we shall be wedded. Whether or not you choose to invite your family is up to you, but I shall not tolerate disrespect. If you didn’t want the maids to tend to you, that’s fine, but I will.”
You watched his stalking figure disappear into another room attached to your quarters, the heavy pour of water indicating that he was running you a bath. You rose to your feet anxiously, popping your head around the corner as you took in the room. A large tub was carved with porcelain, wide in size with golden feet, bubbles guzzling under the powerful stream as the scent of lavender filled the air.
“Undress,” He spoke as you cocked a brow.
“In front of you?” You scoffed.
“You didn’t want the maids, now you have me. Undress.”
Your clothes itched as they were ridden from your skin, bare body flushed under the light as you attempted to conceal yourself from his bruising vision. The water scolded you as you sunk in, muscles relaxing instantly under the soothing oil. It was an irregular feeling.
You heard him shuffle behind you as you turned, eyes gawking wide as you took in his naked figure, cock resting low against his thigh. A squeak slipped through your lips as you turned around in a fluster.
His mask was off, his face a welcoming surprise. His brows were thick, bulging above slit frames, his nose slightly crooked with a masculine appeal to him.
“What are you doing?” you gasped, chest tight, eyes bulging.
“Bathing,” he practically snarled, “move over.”
Your belly felt hot, the unknowing feeling of arousal seeping through your pores as you adjusted in the water, the liquid rising as he stepped in before you were pulled back against him, bottom flushed against his thighs. You were tense.
“Relax, it’s just a bath. We will not do anything until you’re ready but after marriage, I will need heirs.”
“Heirs? I don’t even know your name!”
A hand coiled around your waist, tugging at the tender skin for a moment before it rested, settling at your upper thigh.
“It’s Simon, Y/N.”
“How do you- “
“What kind of King would I be if I didn’t even know the name of the woman I’m marrying?”
The air was hazy with steam, almost suffocating you as you felt yourself relax against his hard chest, delicate twirls of hair tickling against your spine. As your body settled, Simon washed you, entwined rag lubed with delicate soap as he massaged it into the crevices of your skin, any dirt seeping into the water. His fingers were long as they massaged against your scalp, digging any knots out with a gentle force before rinsing it.
You found yourself refreshed as you settled into the sheets once more, body fresh with a floral scent, skin drenched in almond oil, the glistening reflecting against the flame of the fireplace. The bed sunk in as Simon crawled in next to you, menacing frame wracking against yours. It was silent, the usual sound of waves and birds no longer hushing you to sleep.
Your fingers twitched as you played with the hem of your nightgown, letting out a low, exhausted breath.
“I shall not hurt you for as long as you are mine, Y/N. I hope you grow to trust me and understand that I am a man of my word. If you allow me, I would like to show you who I am and the life you can have here.”
You swallowed. There was an itch inside you that couldn’t be scratched, his words only adding fuel to an uncontrollable flame as you turned to face him, cocked up on one arm. Your gown hung low, strap dangerously low on your shoulder as he adjusted his vision back to your face, lips parted with a flushed manner.
“I’ve never experienced anything before.” Your voice was low, an evident streak of self-consciousness staining it as you averted your gaze.
“Let me help you.”
Rugged fingers lifted your gown up, silk resting against your stomach in a hunched manner as Simon gripped at your thighs, spreading them lewdly. He huffed out a hum of appreciation as you jolted in embarrassment. You were so open, so exposed to fresh eyes.
“No one’s ever touched you here?” He asked. You shook your head, gazing down at him with an unspoken innocence. You felt his lips curl against your thigh as he placed a gentle kiss to it, letting it rest against the warm skin before two fingers pulled apart your lips, glistening folds presented before him.
You felt pleasure tickle up your spine as the King placed a small kiss against your clit, a mewl escaping you as you instinctively attempted to press your thighs together. He let out a tsk as he looked up at you, amused by your reaction.
“Relax for me,” he said, arms flushed around your thighs before his tongue soaked up the middle, your juices drenching his lips as you squealed, your fingers wrapping into his dusty hair as he ravaged the taste of you.
The noises you made were wanton, slopping breaths soaking the air as he worked against you, slurping you into his mouth with an aggravated need for you. His teeth grazed against your sensitive clit, wrapping his lips around it before sucking, an obscene scream sounding from you as he continued the assault.
“Taste so fucking good,” he quipped, holding your belly down in place as your hips lifted, clit overstimulated by the amount of pleasure it only just began receiving.
“Sim-Simon, I feel strange- somethings happening,” you croaked, pulling at his hair in an attempt to stop him.
“Let it happen,” he growled, his tongue thrusting against your entrance as a finger pressed against your nub, rubbing it in circular motions as you began to hold your breath.
The pressure in your belly was turmoil like an unknown danger was approaching. Simon didn’t stop, the sound of your breath hicking stirring something primal inside of him as he held you down before the pressure inside you popped, a broken whine piercing the air as you came, hips rocking desperately against the King’s face as he growled against your heat.
He pulled away, spit slick against his chin, cocky smile on his face as you panted, chest rising and falling in a synchronised fashion. Your legs closed instinctively, wetness seeping between your bottom as you shivered, satisfied clit throbbing.
“I’m not done yet, sweetheart.”
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astro-royale · 7 months ago
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「Things to keep secret★ 」
8th house edition…
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Based on research
The 8th house gives us a certain intangible, power… A power that cannot be taken away from us.
No matter how hard people try to stop your 8th house qualities from manifesting.. they will simply fail. Because what is in your 8th house is.. is directly linked your karmic debt.
The power you have, you are meant to use wisely depending on the planet/s residing within your 8th house. You are in fact tested..this is part of your karmic path; Will you use this power for the greater good? Will you ascend or will you descend?.. will you satisfy your ego, or your higher nature?
This is the test that comes with the power in the 8th house.
NOW the 8th house is the house of your longevity.. so a way to promote that “longevity “ aka your LIFE FORCE ENERGY is to preserve your POWER to preserve thy ENERGY. ⚡️
Now.. there are certain qualities which need to remain hidden in order for their power to remain preserved, depending on the planet.
Here is what they are:
SUN in the 8th house: Your schedule & routine
MOON in the 8th house: How you spend your time and what you enjoy doing.. what keeps you emotionally satisfied.
MARS in the 8th house: Your plans and strategies, how you implement things, and how you take action on things
MERCURY in the 8th house: What kind of data you consume; books, social media..etc
JUPITER in the 8th house: Your spiritual path & practises
VENUS in the 8th house: Plans & things you have learned through experiences.. keeping romantic relationships private is also best for this placement
SATURN in the 8th house: Plans, ideas & how you work.
KETU in the 8th house: Your intuitive insights,what you think will certainly happen, otherwise people can misuse it.. or if you tell them your ideas they may implement it first and get credits for it
RAHU in the 8th house: Don’t lie to make yourself seem greater than you really are. Be discerning with who you share information with and how, especially spiritual knowledge & knowledge to do with investing.
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richarlotte · 2 months ago
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365 Days from Rot to Hot (Pt. 3).
Find your colors. You could use AI, take a trip to Lowe’s (this is one of the things I did), or actually use a service, but sorting out what colors suit you is essential. A major part of building my blend and creating my personal style was based around finding things that suited me, and I do believe that you shouldn’t start buying clothes or putting a look together unless you know your undertone, have a grasp of your colors and your body type, understand your seasons, and are prepared to experiment with what you’ve learned. Finding your colors should be the first step you take, as it will make the process of creating looks easier and give you a general idea of what things will look good on you.
Search for inspiration and don’t hold yourself back. It’s your life; it’s your fashion; it’s your style. You can be as basic or as eccentric as you want. If you think Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber are goddesses, then take inspiration from them. If you’re a budding Betsey Johnson or a Lisa Frank and want to design your own clothes and make them even brighter, then do that. If you’re obsessed with Bella Hadid’s western era and want to chase your own wild horses, then go ahead. I’d recommend doing what I did and creating a number of Pinterest boards and using Instagram to create polyvore-like style and vision boards.
Set a reasonable budget and stick with it. You cannot spend more than you have, and it’s not wise to get into debt pursuing a lifestyle that you know you can’t afford in the long run. Create a reasonable budget and work with it; don’t try to work around it. I found myself shopping from Walmart, Meijer, Gap, and J. Crew Factory and looking for sales before I bought anything. Don’t jump into the process and waste your money buying everything straight off the racks; utilize stores like TJ Maxx, look for sales, use what you already have, and really make an effort to make your dollar stretch. Another part of working with your budget is not blowing it by shopping at Shein; if you buy something and then have to throw it out and rebuy it after 5 wears, you’re not actually getting any bang for your buck.
Utilize Pinterest and social media to find women that look like you. An integral part of creating your own blend and finding what works for you is seeing it on other women. I followed a number of women that looked like me and didn’t look like me, lived in areas of the world I found fascinating, and had tastes that I wouldn’t describe as mainstream. I used a number of different languages to search for the trends that I liked; I used Twitter and Instagram to look at hashtags; and I took total advantage of the resources I was able to access. I used magazines, went through online archives, and spent time building my ideal image. Was it perfect? No, but as time passed, it became more and more helpful, and it eventually became the Pinterest board that I use now and my main vision board.
Tie it all together and see how things work. I had to experiment with so many different looks, delete and recreate so many vision boards, and try things for myself. Am I a hairstylist? No, but I’m also not a billionaire, so I had to learn how to style my wigs to see what suited me. I went to stores to try things on, experimented with IG to see if certain pieces of jewelry would suit me, and had the time of my life during my experimentation phase. Collecting online images isn’t enough, and it’s very hard to actually get a grasp of what you like if you’re doing everything online. Try your lookout, put things together, adjust it as you please, and tie your loose ends up.
Pt. 4 to come next.
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harunovella · 1 year ago
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feel my unconditional love ; t.u.
synopsis: being the fourth wife of tengen uzui must have been the world punishing you for being unmarried at the ripe age of 18; the last in your family to move on... or so you thought.
cw: alternate universe, fourth wife!reader, self isolation, arranged marriage, mentions of violence, near death experience, tengen is just such a good man and husband, reader just needs a big hug, angst, running away, slight slow burn, training, loss of virginity, oral, first time, love confessions, plot twist, happy ending, ambiguous ending, not beta read
wc: 9.4k+
an: my first ever tengen fic! I love this man so very much and it's a shame he's hardly written... a lil side note, the reader goes through mild depression but it isn't stated as such, she just isn't happy with the predicament she's in and is sort of on a self destructive path (self isolation/not eating out of sadness) but I promise there's a happy ending! if it's not your sort of thing, you are more than welcome to ignore the story...
p.s. this is only reader x tengen, the wives are only mentioned throughout the story and have minor interactions with the reader (sorry, not sorry, I want tengen all to myself)
The sound of rain pouring down from the evening showers and colliding with the veranda echoed in your head. You sat with your knees pulled in, gazing out into the dark of the night as the thunderstorm roared. Lightening flashed momentarily before the explosive rumble followed. It wasn't wise to be sitting so close to the rain as the gusts of wind caused the droplets to lightly sprinkle at you and the interior of your room... however, you didn't seem to care. The state of mind you were in wasn't a lovely one. 
It had been less than 24 hours since you became the fourth wife to the retired Hashira, Uzui Tengen. The sound of Mrs. Uzui from outside your room was unsettling and foreign to you whenever someone wanted to speak to you—whether to give you food or check up on you. After all, the second you became a wife, you practically locked yourself away from the rest of the world after, digging yourself deeper into the sorrow you felt. 
You were the youngest and last daughter in your clan who needed to be wedded off. In a family of five sisters, it was expected for you all to be raised into proper housewives. A life you despised. You never wanted this, any of this. You had avoided it for so long. All your sisters married fairly young, between the ages of 15 and 16... you, however, were 18 and managed to add some time. Solely because you were the youngest and everyone was so busy they had nearly forgotten about you... but that didn't last long. 
The moment your clan came to the realization that you were now 18, still unwed and doing nothing, they were quick on their feet. You weren't present for most of the decision making, only aware that a certain clan owed yours and this was the perfect way to clear up the debt. The details were never given to you, why it was that something was owed, but you were told the man you'd marry not only was practically one of the last of his clan, but also already wedded to three other wives. 
That left a bad taste in your mouth. 
How could your family allow this? Tossing you two a man with that many wives? Surely they must've cared some for you.. right? 
Apparently, they did not. 
You were unhappy as it was, but to be a fourth wife to someone? You've heard plenty horror stories of women in marriages such as those. Being used as nothing more than a tool to expand clans, long forgotten once they no longer could produce. Others dying and being disposed of during child labor (or while carrying a child). It terrified you, to say the least. Was that what you were going to end up as? Such a young woman with a who life to live... only for it to be taken from you just because you were seen as a breeding machine?
You cried for days before the wedding. You cried the day of. And you cried right after when you locked yourself up. 
Now? You were exhausted. Your eyes heavy, your body aching to rest, but you just couldn't... no matter what. Even though the ceremony was less than a day ago, you couldn't quite remember the last time you properly slept. You got no more than three to four hours of sleep. You barely ate, too. How were you still functioning? 
Days would come and go, and you'd be the same. Hidden from the others, not showing yourself during meals or, really, anything. The maids would come knocking but you'd never answer. Food was always left outside your door and it was almost always halfway full. You tried to eat, but everything was tasteless to you. The spiral you had found yourself falling into was deadly... even the other wives would try to speak to you, mentioning how worried they were. 
You didn't even know their names. 
Or did you? Maybe it was mentioned at one point. Who knows, you've been on autopilot for a while now. Information goes into one ear and out the other. What have you become?
"I'm worried for her..." Hinatsuru sighed as she sat besides Suma and Makio. "She hasn't come out of there and it's been two weeks..."
"She's hardly touched her meals, I can see the portions get smaller but the plates are never empty," Makio added. 
"Yeah, and ever time I ask her if she'd like to join me whenever I go to the hot springs, she never answers!" Suma frowned as Makio shot her a glare. 
"Why the hell would she want to do that if she's been avoiding all of us?!" The black and yellow haired woman growled as Suma's frown deepened. 
"I don't blame her," Tengen sighed as he was sat before them in their garden. "She was forced into something she didn't want. She's the youngest of her clan, people's mindsets change. Generations move away from the old ways. And I'm sure the idea of me having three wives already left a bad taste in her mouth. She wasn't raised in an environment like ours."
Eyeing the white haired man, Hinatsuru settled her hands on her knees, "maybe you should try and talk to her... I feel bad for the poor girl. She hardly knows anything about us and who knows what her clan has fed her. She's scared and I don't think she'd be willing to ever come out if we don't try... Especially you, Lord Tengen."
You were trying your best to eat a little more than you had the day before, no matter how much your body was refusing, even if it screamed for it just as badly. The sound a knock made you flinch slightly before you settled the warm bowl down beside you, muttering a small who is it? as you sat on the tatami matting. 
"It's me," though you didn't hear much of him, you knew who it was. There wasn't much male voices around anyway. "May I come in?"
Considering it, seeing as you haven't really seen or spoken to someone in quite some time—losing track—you gulped. "Okay..." you mumbled, fiddling with the sleeves of your kimono. 
Sliding the door open, unsure what to expect, Tengen peeked in and spotted your small frame in the corner of the room, tray of picked at food beside you as your gaze went out beyond the veranda. You were alive, obviously so, and you weren't... destructive. The room looked as if it was hardly even lived in, but by the looks of it, you managed to at least keep up with yourself. At least, for your hygiene. As much as you avoided everyone, he was told that you would leave the room rather late at night to bathe and clean up before going back to locking yourself in. However... you weren't eating much and it was a major concern. You did eat some, you managed to get food in your belly, but you never properly finished your meals. 
Feeling his lingering presence, you turned your head to face the towering man who was still at the threshold. There was clear concern on his face, the way he had eyed his surroundings with a faint furrow of his eyebrows... Then, he looked at you, and you were sure he noticed the dark circles and the subtle redness in your eyes from your lack of sleep and tears. You had gotten a little better within the time that has progressed, seeing as you were at least never truly bothered or forced to do anything... but you still struggled and you were still scared. 
"You know, you are more than welcome to treat this home as your own. It is, after all, yours as much as it is mine," Tengen spoke up, eyeing you, but you stayed silent and looked away. He watched as you pulled your knees in and gazed out at the stars. It was a clear night this time around. Looking down at your tray, seeing you ate a bit more than usual, Tengen took in a quiet, deep breath. "We are all here for you if you need anything..." At that, he left. Not a word uttered from you nor a look back. 
This was going to be much more difficult than he had thought. 
You were going to run away. That's what you decided when you nearly struck a month of being a married woman living in her own isolation. You were tired of being locked away out of fear and all that you filled your head with. You wanted to live your dream of traveling the world and being a free woman, no longer shackled to her family and the old ways of life. 
You were eating more, slept a bit more, maybe it was because you had been scheming to sneak away and disappear for good. Maybe you were excited. Maybe you've completely lost your mind. Whatever it was, it gave you enough courage to do what you were doing now. Since no one really forced their way into your space, leaving you be, no one was aware of what you had in mind. You also weren't aware either, as the world was so vast and you knew so little. But you wanted to do it. You wanted to run, to run so far, to see it all. To see what other lands were like. To feel the wind, to watch the ocean roll onto the shore. Everything and more. A life for yourself that you deserved. 
After all, what more could a young woman want? It wasn't like you thought of the consequences of such actions. You were begging to live in a vivid dream, away from the nightmare your parents brought you into. 
It wasn't hard to leave the premises of the Uzui estate. You managed to slip out late at night, later than when you'd bathe. You wore something more suitable than what you normally wore, clothing to allow for more movement. A small bag was slung over your shoulder and onto your back as you made your way out and nearly sprinted on ahead. You were foolish, that was given, but you wouldn't admit that. It would bite you on the ass for being so brainless... but that wasn't of your concern. 
At least, not yet. 
All you thought about was the cold, night air patting your exposed skin. How strands of your hair that flew from its braid tickled at your cheeks. The way you felt the grass crunch beneath your feet as the moonlight guided your path. You held a compass in one hand, deciding to go North West, in hopes to run into something along the way. 
As your feet pulled you along, you kept your guard up. Sure, traveling alone at night never was wise, but you weren't about to walk out of the residence in broad daylight for everyone to see. This was a huge risk you were willing to take, and, again... you were foolish. You were well aware of demons, aware that your husband was once a destroyer of their kind, so of course you believed yourself to be fine. Wasn't like you'd get caught up in a mess, right? What were the odds, anyway?
The trio decided to leave you your dinner again, all three wives deciding to make the effort into visiting your room more often than not to at least know you were alright and alive in there. None of them blamed you for how you felt... even if a month had passed. Hinatsuru was always the one to knock first and announce the delivery of your food, while Makio listed what was available on the tray, followed by Suma offering (once again) to go to the springs together. It almost became a daily routine for them, seeing as you were now one of them, they wanted nothing more but to help you feel at home. Or, at least, try to. If you'd let them...
On the night of your "escape" from the estate, Tengen felt the odd desire to check on you. It was something he did often, once a day at least—and, if not—every other day. He stood from his seat amongst his wives suddenly, excusing himself without an explanation as he aimed for your room within the Uzui grounds. There was a sense of urgency, and his gut instincts never failed him. 
Tapping his knuckles on your shoji, Tengen called your name. As the seconds pass, and he'd call your name repetitively, his tone became one of urgency. Slight panic began to build within his chest, his eyebrows furrowed as you didn't answer. No matter what, you always responded to his knocks. 
Sliding the partition open, Tengen searched the area before stepping in. Nothing was out of place, everything was as they were each and every time he'd visit. Taking a few steps towards the veranda and peeking out, there was no sight of you.
Sucking in a sharp breath as he felt his heart race, Tengen searched every inch of his home, places you'd usually be at this hour of night. Yet, you were nowhere to be found. 
Taking in sharp breaths as he clenched and unclenched his fist, he eagerly returned to his wives, words slipping off his tongue faster than he could process them, "she's run away."
"What?!" The three grasped in unison. 
"Where could she be?!" Suma shrieked. 
"It's not safe out there, especially at this hour!" Makio added. 
Frowning in worry, Hinatsuru placed a hand on the man's arm, giving it a small squeeze of urgency, "you must find her... she could be in danger right now for all we know."
You weren't bright. That was a given. You were still a teenager, though considered an adult, you just barely lived two decades of your life. Of course things would go bad for you, of course the universe wasn't kind to those who failed to use logic and took advantage. Now in a state of fear, you felt guilty. You should've stayed, right? It wasn't like you were being forced to do anything, all of those horror stories weren't true. At least, not for you. Tengen never forced you to procreate with him, his wives were constantly reaching out to you, everyone was so kind... yet here you are, running for your life because you chose to run away. A foolish child you were. If you died right now, it would be your fault. No one else to blame. 
Tears slid down your cheeks as you tried everything in your power to escape, to survive. What made you think this was a wise idea to run away, especially so late at night? You had no set of skills to protect yourself. You were raised to be a housewife, not wield a sword! You had no survival skills, only basic instincts. Of course you knew you had to do something to get away, yet all you could think about was to run and to hide. 
And running and hiding could only get you so far. 
You found yourself in the grip of a grotesque demon, ready to sink its sharp teeth into your flesh and rip you into pieces. To make you it's dinner. You were going to become another victim, another soul lost to the damned. You sobbed and begged for help as the multi-armed being gripped and felt nearly every inch of you, it's nasty slobbering echoing in your ears as it barred it's fangs. You shoved and kicked, thrashed and begged for a way out. Using your own teeth to bite down, it granted you a few moments of escape, reaching out for a sharp piece of metal scrap on the ground, stabbing it into the creatures eye. 
The shriek it released made you cover your ears and hiss in pain. Loud ringing bounced within your head as you tried to get back up on your feet to escape, but it was too quick. It latched onto your ankle and tugged you back as you kicked and shoved at it. It pressed its weight against you, nearly suffocating you as it trapped you beneath it, sinking its razor sharp teeth into your neck as a gruesome scream left your mouth. 
Kicking and slapping, trying to shove the demon off of you as your blood began to gush down your neck and pool beneath you, your vision began to blur. Your screams grew faint as your body fell weak. The moon was bright above you, no cloud to block it from your sight. It almost felt as if it were mocking you, reminding you of what you left behind; a home, a husband who wasn't trying to take advantage of you, and people who tried to reach out. 
Why were you so inconsiderate? Why must you be so selfish? Look where you ended up! Bleeding to death by the teeth of a demon, ready to devour you and no one would know. No one would figure out what had happened and the demon would live to see another night. Another victim. Another soul taken. 
You closed your eyes for a moment, begging, pleading to the universe, for one last chance. For freedom, freedom away from the hands of death. 
You apologized for everything, for your selfishness, for being ungrateful. You quietly begged and begged and begged for a second chance. For a way out of this, even if it was just to apologize to Tengen and his wives, to thank them for their hospitality even if you kept yourself rudely locked away for so long. 
Just one more chance. Just one more time to do things right. To live my life. 
Opening your watery eyes once more, the sound of chains and the sight of the demons head being sliced right off of its neck came into view. Your heavy eyes blinked a few times, wondering if you imagined it. Before you could process it, you were lifted off the ground, away from the demon that turned into nothing but dust. The distant sound of your name being called had you weakly searching for its source as you slipped in and out of consciousness. The sight of Tengen's face, mouth uttering words, was all you saw before your world turned black. 
The sound of nature was all you could process. Birds chirping as the wind rustled through tree leaves, hummed in the distance. Your body felt heavy, your eyes barely able to flutter open. This must be the afterlife. You must've died. As far as you could remember, you were bleeding to death at the hands of a demon. 
Forcing your eyes open as you took in deep breaths, you felt blinded by the brightness, lifting a weak arm to cover the glare. Your eyes began to adjust as you blinked a few times before lowering you arm. Everything slowly came into view. A familiar ceiling sat above you before three recognizable faces peeked at you. 
I'm alive?
A collective sigh was heard, relief washing over the faces of the women studying you before two of them stood up and rushed away. One stayed behind. Your vision was blurry, but you could make out who it was. 
"Oh, we were so worried..." Hinatsuru said in a breathy tone as she placed a hand on her chest. "Especially Lord Tengen..."
Before you could even try to respond, the sound of the shoji sliding open and rapid footsteps caused you to turn your head. A large figure knelt beside you, uttering for the women around you to give him a moment alone with you. Your vision was still quite off, but the more you blinked, the more clear it became for you. 
It was Tengen, the women that were once around you were clearly his other wives... and you were back in his home. Your home. Alive and bandaged up. How did you survive? You were sure you were going to die from blood loss if the demon didn't get to you. Slowly sitting up with a wince as Tengen carefully watched you, scooting closer as he kept an eye on your figure, you held your kimono closed as you gently touched your once wounded neck. 
"Why did you run?" Was the first question he asked, even if he knew the answer. 
"I didn't want to be a wife," you spoke, voice hoarse. "Never wanted to be another number... I wanted freedom for so long... I just wanted to feel alive..." You confessed as tears pricked your eyes, trickling down your cheeks slowly as you kept your gaze low. 
Gently, Tengen's hand cupped your cheek as his thumb wiped away your tears. A gesture so innocent, making your heart flutter within your chest. Something you probably would've flinched away from, if it wasn't for this man seemed to have genuinely cared for you. "I'm sorry for what you've been put through."
Shaking your head, you muttered, "it's not your fault. It never was. You've been so kind to me... and so have your wives... I was selfish to run away and not appreciate what I had. Though it was a life I didn't want... it was better than being held in a marriage with someone who could care less if I died the next day..." Sighing, you turned your head to look at him. "I didn't want to just be a wife... I've never wanted that life."
A small smile grew on Tengen's lips, the sweetest you had ever seen on any man. His hand reached up to caress your hair, gently stroking your loose locks before falling back and settling on your cheek. "I will come up with a plan."
"What?" You gasped, caught off guard as you stared at him and his maroon eyes. 
"I would never force you into something you don't want... but you are still my wife," he said as you blinked. "As my wife, I want you to be happy. Even if that means being away from me—"
"Lord—"
"Allow me to get to know you better and help you find your peace."
Gazing at him, you gave him a small nod. Little did you know the man you'd marry, would be one of the very few people you'd trust with your life. 
You started a new routine with Tengen as the weeks passed since your encounter with that demon. Your husband would visit you daily, joining you on the veranda as you shared small talk, truly getting to know one another. It was nice, to say the least, and the man you married was very intriguing. He practically gave you his life story, you learned so much about him; his clan, and his time as a Hashira. He was impressive. Skilled, intelligent, and beyond kind. You couldn't help but admire him for the achievements he's made in his life—for a man only in his 20s. 
On the other hand, you were still quite reserved. You broke out of your shell, little by little. As the two of you went on walks together around the estate, relaxing in the garden, you found yourself slowly opening up to him. With his wives, you were still quite timid, but you tried your best to be kind and acknowledge their sweet hello's and respectful bows—something they very much appreciated. 
On one of your shared moments with Tengen, an evening after dinner you had with him, alone on your veranda, you told him how you'd love to travel the world. Tengen had never seen you look so hopeful, a dreamy expression written across your face. He couldn't deny you of your dream, instead, telling you he'd help you figure things out. No matter what it took. 
A little over a month had passed and you were a different person. You smiled more and showed your face more often than not. Although still a bit antisocial and enjoying your alone time, you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy Tengen's company. Actually, you very much appreciated it. You liked having him around, so close to you. Someone you considered a dear friend, even if he was your husband. He was starting to take place in your heart, and the idea of you eventually making your way out in the world was a tad bit dreadful. Even if you knew he'd always welcome you home with open arms. 
You were growing attached. 
One day as you were sitting in the garden, piecing together a flower crown of sorts, Tengen offered you his golden plan: join you on your journey of freedom until you were ready to set off on your own. Whether it was a week or a month, he'd partake and make sure you could handle it. At first you were hesitant, not wanting to take him away from his other wives, but he insisted he'd do so (especially since he, too, was growing attached). He didn't want you discovering the world without any sort of self defense, either. Especially with demons lurking in the shadows. 
After much thought, you agreed with subtle excitement. The two of you planned out your upcoming travels and how he'd train you. Even with a missing hand, Tengen was still a flawless fighter. He truly was impressive—you would soon learn as your self defense training was going to be a big part of your days to come. 
"I will return in a few weeks," Tengen announced to his wives as he said his goodbyes. Hinatsuru always was the calmest, but Suma always took it the hardest—which lead Makio to scold her. It was nothing new to Tengen, but for you, it was quite the eye opener. 
Before you were ready to begin your journey ahead, the three women handed you little parting gifts. They gave you tight, warm hugs, and words of encouragement. They begged for you to visit often and to not stay too far for long. You thanked them for their warm hearts and hospitality, forever grateful for their kindness. 
Though this new chapter of your life may be terrifying, you were looking forward to starting it with Tengen by your side. 
You were skilled. Beyond skilled. Tengen didn't expect you to be so... easy to train. It was as if it were in your bloodline to be so graceful. The moment he allowed you to practice with weapons, seeing how you were a natural, Tengen made a mental note—one he'd eventually use to recall information that your clan was in fact once fighters. One of the reasons why you were married off to the Uzui. 
On one of your nights out before a fire, Tengen had informed you of what he knew about your clan's past. It caught you off guard, amazed it was in your bloodline even if it was practically a dead practice for your own family.... It was starting to make sense. When Tengen started explaining breathing techniques, and the many that existed—including his own that he had been teaching you—he wondered what your clan's once was. 
Nights continued to pass, you stayed in various inns in separate rooms, and sometimes you stayed outside. When it came to outside, you usually rested against a tree as Tengen kept watch, but as time passed, you grew more comfortable with leaning against him—same went for the inns. You slept on separate futons, but within the same room. Tengen easily caught on to how you grew more confident in your relationship with him; standing and walking closer to him, becoming affectionate with simple touches and grazes of your hand. It made him happy—happier. 
Especially when he started to realize how much he had been falling for you... Which made him wonder, were you starting to feel the same?
He tested the waters one day on your shared journey, surprising you with a small gift. You weren't sure how or when he had done it, but when he handed you a small box with a necklace in it, you were in awe... but what had you blushing was the fact that the jewel at the center was one of his very own that he once had attached to his headband during his Hashira days. 
You denied it at first, saying he couldn't give it to you, but Tengen insisted he wanted you to carry a piece of him with you. He so kindly placed the necklace on you, his fingertips grazing your skin as you shivered, body growing hot. A subtle silence grew between the two of you when you turned around to show him it, and the look on his face made you flustered. Sure, Tengen was an attractive man, but after all this time of getting so close to him and becoming so attached... it was hard not to feel a change in the air that you two shared. 
Ever since then, things haven't been the same. Not for the worst, but... it wasn't something you were accustomed to. You weren't used to this sort of attention nor the desire sitting within the pit of your stomach and the depths of your heart. It was an odd sensation, a feeling like no other. The way your heart raced when he looked at you, how your skin tingled whenever he touched you... the way your body reacted whenever he was closer than he should be. Sure, you were one of his wives and a lack of boundaries was expected, but it still had your whole being trembling. 
If you knew any better, you would realize that you had fallen in love. Not with his looks (though he was a looker) but with him. His personality, his way of being, his (not so) simple existence in the universe. Every little thing he did, whether it was for you or for others. How he handled you when it came to little things like taking shelter from thunder storms or making sure you were comfortable when you had to rest. You were one of his wives, it was expected, but there was something there between you two that you were sure was unique to only you two. And Tengen felt it, too.
Probably why your final night was so painful, to the point you both drowned yourself in (what felt like) endless sake and the warmth of the hot springs. Neither of you wanted to think about your last moments together until... whenever you made a return. If you decided to at all. This was what you wanted, to see the world, to be free... but after growing so attached, so accustomed to Tengen's existence by your side, you knew it was going to feel off. As if you were imbalanced. 
You were too deep in thought to even realize how close Tengen got as you sat in the soothing pool of steaming water. "I haven't had a night like this in forever..." he sighed, looking up at the stars.
Turning your flustered face in his direction, taking a moment to eye the stars above, your focus settled on him once again. Your eyes trailed his stunning features—gazing at his loose strands of ivory locks, those fucsia eyes... his sharp nose, the golden hoops on his earlobes... and those lips of his that settled in its usual grin. He was so handsome, it pained you to look at him. It didn't help that you two were sharing a bath and all you had separating you both was the water and the towels around your body. 
Tengen's chest was on full display, something you had seen a number of times as he was very proud of his physique; he always found a way to show off his muscles—not like you had a reason to complain, anyway. He sat there, in all his glory, arms spread out beside him as he leaned his back against the pool's wall. 
"It's lovely..." You spoke up, swallowing the small lump in your throat. You tried to look away, not wanting to stare for too long, but it was hard to... Tengen was just so handsome.
Lowering his focus from the dark sky that glittered with stars, towards you, Tengen watched as those innocent eyes of yours fluttered from his chest, to his eyes, down to his lips, then switched between the two. He couldn't help but grin. If you weren't making it so painfully obvious, he wouldn't have been there with you in that moment, sitting so close that he could almost feel your body heat instead of the warm water. "It is, but not as lovely as the view I have."
Flickering your eyes back up to meet his own, your heart skipped a beat as he so casually leaned in towards you and brought his hand up to caress your cheek. A subtle gasp left you before you looked away, flustered and trembling at his words, only for Tengen to gently keep your head in place. 
"Rather cheesy, wasn't that?" He winked as your heart dropped down to your feet. 
"Just— Just a tad bit..." you stuttered, eyes dancing between his own as he did the same to you. "But... But I like it..."
Smiling, Tengen leaned in a bit more, his nose just barely grazing your own as his voice came out smooth, almost a whisper. "Then, may I kiss you?"
Almost, as if without hesitation, you nodded. A breathy answer leaving you as you, yourself, grew closer to him, closing the gap between the two of you as his lips softly met your own. 
It started off so gentle, the sweet taste of his lips against yours. A small press before you parted, taking in a small breath before Tengen's hand held the back of your neck, fingertips entangling themselves with the loose strands that escaped from your updo. With a small tug, your lips met his once again, except with a different desire. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, pushing past and pressing against your teeth. Your own parted, allowing him entrance to slip through. Gliding his tongue over yours ever so expertly, involuntary moans left you as you felt the muscle press and slither against your own. 
Bringing you closer as his hand slid down to your lower back, you found yourself holding your towel closed while your other hand moved into his hair. Pressing against the back of his head and tugging gently, the two of you breathed each other in, panting and huffing in between kisses. You weren't sure what it was, maybe it was the sake... or maybe you just wanted this along. The gravitational pull you felt towards Tengen was something you never felt before, a tug unlike any other. It made your insides twist, your heart race, and a sudden warmth fill you. 
Shifting his kisses away from your lips as you tried chasing after them, he left small pecks against the corner of your mouth. Your cheek and along your jaw, down your neck until he found that sweet spot that made you tremble. He nipped and sucked at your smooth skin, leaving marks in his wake as he left a trail of hickeys along your shoulder and chest. 
Tengen moved dangerously low, open mouthed kisses against the swell of your breasts, up until the edge of your towel. Your grip tightened against the material as your other tugged at his locks, as if trying to pull him away, only for your back to curve towards him. You knew you should stop, even if the pool was private for the two of you, you had never done anything like this before. You were excited and nervous all the same, body so desperately desiring him after all those shared nights. 
Lifting his head and looking up at you with hooded eyes as your blooded rushed in your body, Tengen kissed your cheek before guiding you out of the water and back to your shared room. He kept his arm wrapped around you as he had you pressed against his side, kissing your cheek and along your neck. Tengen didn't bother to close the shoji behind him, his body already finding yours as the two of you lied against the tatami mat. He hovered over you, his large frame enveloping your own as he sweetly smiled down at you, "beautiful..."
Blushing, you took in a sharp breath before he placed a gentle kiss against your lips. "You're so handsome..." You shyly mumbled as Tengen let out a small chuckle. 
Lowering his head to nuzzle your neck, he pressed small kisses before lifting his head once again, "do you want to continue this?"
Taking in a deep breath, you nodded before cupping his cheeks, "yes... I trust you. You— You are my husband after all."
Eyeing you, seeing the sureness in your eyes even if you were trembling, Tengen kissed you once more before he sat up. With you settled between his knees as he leaned onto his heels, he reached for your towel. Eyeing you as you nodded he slid back before pulling open your towel, revealing your bare body. Naturally, you went to cover yourself, but Tengen caught one of your hands. "It's alright," he softly spoke, kissing your knuckles one at a time. "My beautiful wife..."
Lowering your hand, Tengen leaned down towards you, kissing down your neck ever so slowly. Then he kissed from one shoulder to the other, against either of your breasts, the valley between them, and along your stomach. He kissed your hip bones before licking a stripe up the side of your body, stopping at your right breast. Lifting his eyes to meet your own as you shivered, Tengen twirled his tongue around your nipple before bringing it into his mouth. A squeak left your parted lips as your chest quickly rose and fell. With every suck and nip, Tengen gave both of your breasts equal attention, leaving a trail of his saliva behind, a string connecting your left nipple to his lips as he lifted his head. 
The smile he wore made your heart race faster, a look of ecstasy written across his face... you could only imagine what his expression would be once he—
A yelp left you as his mouth was against your bare pussy, too lost in your hazed mind to even notice when he had moved down. Tengen pressed a kiss against your lower lips before his tongue parted your folds, a shiver running down your spine as it met your clit. "What I'd give to have both hands now."
"T—" before you could whine, his tongue swirled around your sensitive bundle of nerves before moving to tease your entrance. Your hands slid into his locks as your legs wrapped over his  shoulders. Burying his face deeper against your aching cunt, you felt the way Tengen's open mouth began to devour you, tasting every bit you had to offer. The sweetness of your dripping heat that made him moan with anticipation as his hips bucked. 
Feeling his tongue prod your entrance as a whimper left you, Tengen's arms wrapped around your thighs, fingers digging into your skin as he pulled your leg further apart. Lapping up your excitement, teasing your clit, pushing past your entrance and devouring your sinful sounds. Your panting filled the air, your eyes nearly rolled back as your head fell towards the mat beneath you. 
He couldn't get enough of you; he couldn't get enough of the sounds you made, how your thighs pressed against his head and your cunt dripped for him. "Have you ever come before?"
Gulping, you shook your head, face burning in embarrassment. "N— No..."
Lifting his head enough, Tengen kissed your inner thigh, "there's nothing to be ashamed of, my sweet wife. It only means I'm lucky enough to be there with you to experience it—to be the reason."
Opening your teary eyes as you looked at him, Tengen gave you a reassuring smile before you felt one of his fingers tease your entrance before slowly filling you. Your heart skipped a beat, breath hitching as he pumped his finger a few times before adding another. His lips latched against your clit as his fingers massaged your inner walls, reaching depths within you that made your body shiver and shake. A feeling filled you, a burning unlike any other as your breathing grew rapid and moans became louder. 
A white hot heat filled you, your eyes squeezed shut as your fingers nearly yanked at his hair. You were shaking as you came, Tengen continuing his ministrations before pulling out and lifting his fingers covered in your essence. Sitting up and spreading them to show you the mess you made, Tengen brought his fingers into his mouth, tongue lapping up your release before his lips met yours. 
You winced at the foreign taste the moment his tongue made contact with your own, a slow, sultry kiss before he reached to remove his own towel. "You'll be alright," he muttered against your lips as he sat up, bringing your legs over his thighs. His hand caressed your thigh as you were still processing the euphoria you just experienced. "We'll do this slowly, okay?"
Gulping, your hooded eyes fluttered open as they trailed down his chest, towards his toned stomach, past the patch of white hair that lead to his hardened length. Your heart dropped at the sight, a gasp leaving your lips as your eyes widened. "I— I... You— You are so big... I don't know if—"
"It's alright," he reassured, giving your thigh a small squeeze. "You'll be alright, like I said, we'll take things slow."
Nodding as your heart raced, Tengen brought his hand to his cock, giving it a few strokes, coating it with your juices before he aligned it with your opening. He could hear the way your breathing quickened, felt how your thighs pressed against him. He spoke softly, continuously reassuring you as he slowly filled you. With just the tip, your chest heaved and your hands tried clinging onto something, clawing at the mat beneath you. 
Pushing in further and further, biting his tongue as his body burned, Tengen took in shallow breaths at your tightness. The way you squeezed him, how your cunt was sucking him in... The sounds of your shared, heavy breathing filled the air, soon followed by heavy moans and skin slapping the moment he thrusted into you. Whimpers and cries of his name left your lips as your hands flew to his shoulders, nails digging into his skin before clawing at his back as he hunched over you. Your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him close as he thrusted at a rhythmic pace. 
"T— Tengen— Too— Too big!" You whimpered, tears pricking your eyes at the dangerous stretch. The discomfort was overpowered by your pleasure. You weren't sure how much of him filled you, but you were positive he wasn't even all the way in. "Too— Too—" 
"It's okay, it's okay, my love... It's okay," he reassured, body breaking out into a sweat as his hips bucked against you, pushing deeper and deeper as you cried out. With each shift of his hips as he pulled out, your pussy sucked him right back in. "It's like we're... meant for... each other," he breathed, a hiss leaving his lips. He wanted to fuck you, fuck you deeply, fuck you until you couldn't walk... but he knew, he knew it was your first time. He knew this was your last moments together before you went your own way, and as much as he wanted to leave you with an everlasting memory of his cock imprinted on your cervix where no other man could possibly reach, Tengen stopped himself. He wanted you to never forget this moment, obviously so, but he also wanted it to be a moment you enjoyed as much as he did—especially for your first time. 
Thrusting in and out of you, pushing deeper each time as you squirmed and cried, begging him to move faster—telling him he was too big—your body wrapped around his and kept him sheathed within you. You felt your second orgasm building within you as Tengen's fingers rubbed circles against your clit. Your breathing against his ear was almost enough to make him come then and there as you shook in your release. Your pussy fluttered against him as your body practically went into shock. You felt it from head to toe, your body tensing around him as a cry left your lips, his name coming out as a desperate moan. 
Continuously thrusting his hips, ready to pull out, your legs wrapped tighter around him, keeping him deep within you as you milked him for all his worth. He weakly called your name, body shaking above your own as he nearly collapsed against you. "Sh— Shit..." Tengen grunted as he filled you with his seed, coming deep inside as you kept him close. 
Your bodies were already drenched as it was, but the sweat practically made you stick to one another as his massive body flopped against your own. You could barely breathe as it was, but with his weight against you, you nearly suffocated... and yet it felt so nice. You didn't want him to leave, you didn't want to leave. You just wanted to stay like that, there with him, in that moment. A moment so intimate, one you didn't want to end; one that you once feared. Now it was something you knew you'd never forget. 
Tears brimmed your eyes as your bottom lip trembled. Your hands fell to your face as Tengen lifted his head to eye you. "Hey, did I hurt you? Are you okay?"
"N— No... It's not— It's not you..." you mumbled. "I'm sorry, I..."
"Hey..." he hushed you, kissing your tears away. "It's okay, it's okay... I'm sorry if you regret this—"
"No!" You shook your head. "Never! I— I... It's just, tomorrow we... we go our separate ways and— and I feel as if... I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" He asked, eyeing you with the kindest smile. "You are my wife, are you not?"
Nodding your head with a pout, Tengen nuzzled your neck before leaving a sweet kiss against it. "I am..."
"There's nothing to be sorry for, all that matters to me is that you're happy... and that you enjoyed it..." he said, almost questioning whether or not you did. 
"I did," you softly smiled. "I'm happy to have had my first time with you... I've never trusted anyone more..."
Grinning, Tengen shook his head, "I'm sorry for the man who follows after me.  Whoever wins your heart will never be like me."
"Tengen..." You whined, only to earn a chuckle from him. "I won't forget any of this, that's for sure."
"I'm glad," he smiled, gazing down at you, "because neither will I..."
Eyeing him as a silence filled the room, you reached up and caressed his forehead, ran your fingers through his hair, and cupped his cheek, "thank you."
Turning to kiss your palm, Tengen mumbled against it, "thank you."
"You'll always have a home with me," Tengen said as he stood in front of you, caressing your cheek as you leaned your head into his palm. "I can't say I won't miss you, because I know I'll be missing you dearly. We've grown so close... but I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to be happy, to find yourself, to live your life... But I hope some day, maybe you'll... come back to me..."
Smiling up at him, you nodded. "You've done so much for me, I don't think I could stay away from you forever. I appreciate you... and you have my endless gratitude."
Eyeing you, he sighed before leaning his forehead against yours, "if you ever have regrets... if you ever want to come back home... don't hesitate to reach out. I'll always welcome you back with open arms."
Sighing as you took a moment to enjoy his close proximity, you gently pushed back and cupped his face. "Thank you."
Eyeing you, Tengen gently kissed you before he stood straight. "I have one more thing to give you..."
Watching him with furrowed brows, he handed you one of his blades; the chain snatched and now dangling from the one he held towards you. "You— You can't."
"Please, have it. It'll only give me piece of mind knowing you have something to protect you... And also a way to never forget me... A way to eventually come back to me..." he said, handing it over. Tengen's swords weren't easy to hold, made for a man his size, but with one less attached... it was a bit easier to manage. 
"It's... big..." You said, earning a chuckle from him. 
"You can manage with big things," he winked as you blushed. "I have no doubts."
Sighing, you moved to wrap your arms around him, hugging him tight for a moment or two, breathing him in one last time. "Thank you..."
Hugging you back, Tengen kissed the top of your head before you pulled away and turned to part from him. Just before you could get too far, Tengen caught your wrist and tugged you back to him, planting a deep, sentimental kiss against your lips. An ever lasting one filled with sadness. He let go, forcing himself to peel away from you as he slowly let go of your wrist, studying you and every bit of your face once more. "I'll always love you... you'll always be my wife and will always have a place in my heart."
Smiling up at him with tearful eyes, you gulped, "I— I will always love you." Not wanting to stay any longer as you knew you'd break easily if you looked at him for a second more, you turned and began your trek. 
Tengen watched with a heavy heart, waving as you turned for a moment to say your final goodbye. There was in ache in his chest, a sadness filling him. You left a mark on him, a big one at that. You would never be forgotten. As much as he loved and adored all of his wives... there was something about you that made his chest feel different. A love unlike any other. Something he feels as if he couldn't have... But he prayed. He prayed that some day... your paths would meet again. 
* FIVE YEARS LATER *
"Tenchi!" A voice called out amongst the many. Tengen found himself at a local market during his travels, visiting his beloved disciples, before returning home. "Tenchi!"
"I'm right here, mama!" A gentle, little voice came out as Tengen's focus shifted from the fresh produce before him, over to a small boy. "Look what I found!" Softly smiling at the sight of the youngling—easily 5 years old—hold up something with excitement, Tengen's eyebrows narrowed for a moment. 
That's oddly similar... He thought as his attention was settled on the whiteness of the small boy's hair that had a headband wrapped around it. "Okay, but only one, alright? And don't run off like that again, you had me worried..."
"Sorry, mama..."
"It's okay, baby."
Snapping out of his daze, Tengen watched as the little boy hugged the kneeling figure before him. He couldn't quite see who it was from the passing bodies, but as the woman stood up, the retired Hashira's heart skipped a beat. "It's..." his breath hitched as his eyes made contact. 
It was you. 
Blinking a few times at the sight, you sweetly smiled with a small wave, earning a bright one from him. Tengen didn't hesitate, he made a beeline for you, stopping and towering your figure as happiness filled his veins. "You... It's really you..." he nearly whispered. He hadn't seen you since you parted ways five years prior. It wasn't like you lost contact, you wrote him letters as he did the same to you every now and then. He was aware you were alive and well, as you were of him... but seeing you in the flesh? That was something else all together. Could he kiss you? Could he hug you? It'd been so long, he didn't know what his boundaries were. 
Smiling up at him, you felt the small figure tug on you as they hid behind you. Your son shyly peeking out from behind as he eyed the giant man standing before you. "It's me," you nodded, heart fluttering as you took Tengen in. How he hardly changed, still as flashy as ever. His hair had grown more, but it was clearly being maintained with the layers being trimmed. His eyepatch still bedazzled, his nails still painted... You couldn't expect anything less, this was Tengen Uzui after all— the supposed god of festivals. "You haven't changed a bit."
"Gotta live a flashy life, keeps me young," he winked as you chuckled. He reached for your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips as he pressed a kiss. He didn't miss the blush on your cheeks or the way your eyes had slightly widened. There was no doubt in his mind that you were saving face, your reaction seemed composed. "It's really good to see you. How have you been?"
"Yeah... I'm good. We're good," you nodded as you moved slightly to present the little boy that clung to you. Tengen's eyes lowered to the white haired boy, instantly recognizing those eyes... His heart skipped a beat the moment he recognized those features... "This is my son, Tenchi."
"Son?" He nearly choked, catching himself as he kept his own composure. Of course this was your son, he should've put two and two together. But not once have you mentioned it before in your letters... And who else could possibly be the father if—
"Yes," you slightly smiled. "Honey, say hi."
Looking up, Tenchi clung to you as his grip tightened around you. He watched as the large man moved down to kneel. "Hello..."
"Hi, Tenchi," Tengen smiled. "I'm Tengen Uzui. The flashiest man on the entire planet. And a great friend of your mothers," he proudly stated as you blushed. A small gasp left little Tenchi. 
"I know your name!" He exclaimed as Tengen lifted his brows before smirking. 
"Oh? Is that so?" The man asked. 
"You are mama's hero! Her trainer and gave her that big sword!" The little boy gasped. "You are so cool! Mama told me so many stories! I want to be just like you, Mr. Uzui!"
Gulping as the sudden urge to tear up awakened within him, Tengen took in a sharp breath and smiled. It wasn't until then when he had the little boy now standing before him that he studied those eyes. Eyes that reflected his own... The same ivory locks, those bright eyes and that shiny grin. There was no denying it... "That's an honor, Tenchi. And I like your headband," Tengen grinned, lightly poking the little boy's forehead as you watched their interaction with a heavy heart. 
"Oh!" Your son blushed. "Just like you! Mama said you wore a headband when you were a— a Hash— Hash..."
"Hashira," Tengen finished with a kind smile as the little boy nodded. 
"Yes! I wanna be just like you! Protect my mama from all evil!" He proudly said with his little fists on his hips. Tengen couldn't help but let out a choked laugh, as if the realizations made had his heart aching. This little boy was much too like him. "I look up to you!"
Feeling his heart skip a beat, Tengen looked away for a moment before ruffling Tenchi's hair. "I think you'll be better than I could ever be," he said without an inkling of doubt in his words, then looking at you as you looked at him with woeful eyes. It was clear there was something weighing on you. 
Placing a gentle hand on your son's head, caressing his shoulder length locks that were quite similar to Tengen's, you eyed said man with a hopeful smile. "Would you like to come have dinner with us? There's a lot to catch up on."
With a racing heart, Tengen looked at you with a similar expression, optimism filling his chest. "I would love to."
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judesmoonbeauty · 3 months ago
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Miss Fairytale Keeper, Come Have Fun With Us: Jude vs. Nica - Chapter 1
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Translations will not include screenshots or CGs as mentioned here. Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for you support! ☾.
Ftn: [1] Guten Abend = Good evening, [2] Rotkehlchen = Robin
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We were on a mission at a casino where illegal gambling was rumored to take place.
Jude: Since I’m the only one placin’ bets, don’t get in my way.
Kate: Okay, I’ll just watch from the background!
When I replied to the words he had repeated over and over to me, he smiled crookedly.
Jude: ‘N it’s a good chance extort money.
In this casino, anything from money, land, medicine, people and even organs can be used as a wager.
(The mission this time is to stand out in the casino, and gather evidence.)
In order to do that, we need to come into contact with a man, Viscount Smith, but he only approaches those who are good at gambling.
Jude’s plan to lure him out is to win A LOT, but he prohibited me from gambling…..
(This is probably due to some kind of expectation.)
(Besides, I’m sure Jude will yield better results than I would if I messed up.)
Jude: C’mon.
Kate: Coming!
Just as I placed my hand on the door -
???: Guten Abend. What a nice night. [1]
Kate: Huh?
When I heard the voice behind me, I turned around and saw Nica standing there.
Nica: What are you doing here?
Jude: …What’re you doin’.
-Jude’s expression turned grim as he took a step forward.
Nica: Don’t sound like that, I was just out for a walk.
Nica: This looks like a Crown job, guess I’m right.[2]
Jude glares at Nica who’s smiling happily.
Jude: Even so, it’s none of yer business.
Nica: ….Come on, I just wanted to gamble.
Nica looked at the casino door, and then back at me,
Nica: I won’t get in the way, so let me come with you.
Jude: Huh?
He spoke sweetly, as if to seduce me.
Nica: Hey, rotkehlchen, bring me along. [2]
(Since we don’t know their intentions, it wouldn’t be wise to expose Crown’s mission.)
Unsure about how to respond, I look to Jude.
He furrowed his brow even more, and let out an exasperated sigh.
Jude: …..Do whatever ya want.
I turn on my heel and quickly follow after him.
[The scene transitions to inside the casino.]
Inside the casino, people from all classes, both nobility and commoners, were gambling with a odd excitement in the air.
Kate: Is this okay?
I stretched up and whispered into Jude’s ear,
Jude: It’s fine, we ain’t got no right to restrict their movements.
Jude: As long as it doesn’t even interfere with my mission.
Nica: Casinos are great, they’re the ultimate place where money and power rule.
I shut my mouth as Nica follows me from behind, humming.
Jude: Well then, to sta-
Nica: Ah, I have an idea.
Nica smiled suspiciously as he interrupted Jude.
Nica: Have a game with me, Jude Jazza.
Jude: What?
Jude furrowed his brow deeper.
Nica: I hear you love money, don’t you?
Nica: Apparently, you like making money by collecting debts on the large sums you lend.
Nica: I get it. It’s fun stealing from idiots.
Watching Nica under the shining lights, he rested an expensive-looking necklace on his finger.
Jude: How disgustin’. Can ya join me?
He snorted a laugh and then looked away from Nica.
Jude: Toldja not to get in my way, so go away.
Jude walked over to a poker table, when I tried to follow him, I was prevented by my shoulders being grabbed.
Kate: W-what is it?
As soon as Jude had turned away, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look up.
I gasped at our lips almost touching, and Nica smiled.
Nica: So, how about a kiss from rotkehlchen for the winner?[2]
Nica didn’t miss that I was shaken by his words.
Nica: What’s this? It looks like you want to be kissed now.
Kate: No, that’s not true!
Nica: It’s important for you to lure out Viscount Smith, isn’t it?
(We never spoke to him about the mission….)
I freeze as his lips approach me -
Jude: ….You’re really a troublesome guy.
Before I knew it, I was pulled away by my arm and into Jude’s chest.
Nica: My my, what a shame.
Jude: Why’d ya freeze?
Kate: I didn’t freeze!
My relief was short-lived when Nica approached us.
Nica: Perhaps you’re afraid of losing.
Jude: ……Hah?
Nica: It’s true that I’m good at gambling and I’m good-looking, so it’s no surprise you’d lose.
For some reason, Jude bit at the obvious provocation -
Jude: Sure, if ya say so, I’ll play ya.
Kate: Jude?
Jude: It’ll be faster to swat away those annoyin’ flies buzzin’ ‘round.
Nica: Haha, that’s the spirit.
Nica: The winner gets a kiss from rotkehlchen. It’s a promise.
The battle for my lips had begun.
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[Master List] [Next] Dividers: @.adornedwithlight
Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka
Please let me know if you'd like to be added to my tags list!
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green-alien-turdz · 3 months ago
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Hi, hello, I'm one more minute away from bashing my head into a wall. I know people showed some interest before, so I'm thinking of opening emergency commissions.
Bullshit n more under the cut vv
So on Friday my gma had a health emergency. She almost died. I got up to Washington immediately to be with her n it was super fuckin bad. We genuinely weren't sure if she was gonna make it. She had let it get so bad bcuz she not only couldn't afford to go to the doctors, but she was also embarrassed of some swelling in her legs. I can't even begin to list how much shit they had to take care of once she got into the ER. She then went to ICU, then PCU, and is soon to be moved to a normal room (but she's still not good). She's gonna have to go into a rehab for at least a month to get mobile enough to where I can handle it. I have no clue how we are gonna pay. The amount of medical debt we are gonna be in is fuckin insane. Her medicare might cover some, imma have to see what we can do.
She also takes care of my cousin. So I had to quit both of my jobs and I'm movin up to tacoma for the next few months so I can take care of my cousin and my gma when she's outta rehab.
The reason I need to open commissions is bcuz I legit can't get an actual job up here. My cousin will need me there morning and night- luckily school is startin up next week. Then my gma will need me to take care of her when she's back. I don't know when she's gonna be better. There's even a fuckin chance she WON'T recover, which us my worst fuckin fear. I gotta leave my life behind n just take care of family for a while. My gma raised me, so it's the least I can do.
I have some saved up that I was gonna use to move out, but imma have to use it to take care of my gma n cousin- so I was hopin to do somethin like commissions to get at least some cash comin in. I take up random gigs offa craigslist when I can, but I can't do much durin the day until school starts up n I'll have the afternoons to work.
If anyone is interested in commissions, could you leave a comment sayin which application/programs are best payment wise? I feel gross doin this. Ion know, it feels like beggin, I hate recievin money from shit other than work, but I gotta do somethin. Just let me know what works easiest for people so I know what I need to set up. If anyone is interested- if not, I totally get it. If there's enough intrigue, I'll make a post talkin about what commissions I'll offer.
Uhhh yeah, I'll be back soon or some shit.
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thehanalia · 5 months ago
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THE SUBTLE ART OF BECOMING FINANCIALLY FREE IN 2024 💸 🎀 ྀིྀི
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Hey girlies, Hanalia is back, ready to dive into some real talk about achieving financial freedom. No fluff, just hardcore truths to help you grow and secure your future like the badass queens you are.
1. Know Your Worth: Ladies, let's talk real. Your value isn't about how many likes you get or what brand you wear. It's about your talents, your skills, and your drive to succeed. Invest in yourself—learn, grow, and never underestimate what you bring to the table.
˖⁺‧₊ It's not just about earning money; it's about how you invest it. Our aim is growth, and often, you need income to invest in yourself. ˖⁺‧₊
2. Budget Like a Boss: Financial freedom starts with knowing where your money goes, okay. Time to get real with those finances. Budgeting isn't about restrictions; it's about empowerment. I used to think it was all about penny-pinching, but it's really about knowing where every dollar goes and making intentional choices.
3. Crush Debt: Debt can feel overwhelming, trust me, I've been there. But facing it head-on is how you break free. Start with the high-interest stuff, make a plan, and stick to it like your future depends on it—because it does.
˖⁺‧₊ Debt can feel like quicksand, but you're no damsel in distress. The sooner you free yourself from debt, the sooner you'll have more money to build your empire.˖⁺‧₊
4. Invest Wisely: Investing isn't just for the rich. Start small, educate yourself, and build your portfolio. I've learned that the sooner you start, the more your money can grow over time. It's about making your money work for you, not the other way around.
˖⁺‧₊ PS. Forget the lottery mentality. Real wealth is built through smart investing. Educate yourself on stocks, bonds, real estate—whatever piques your interest. Start small, diversify, and let your money work for you.˖⁺‧₊
5. Build Multiple Streams of Income: Oh my osh! I cannot stress enough the importance of this! Your 9-to-5 isn't your only option. I've hustled with side gigs, freelancing—you name it. Multiple streams of income give you security and freedom. Don't limit yourself—explore what lights you up and brings in the cash.
6. Protect Yourself: Life's unpredictable, but you can be prepared. Having health insurance and an emergency fund can be lifesavers. It's about peace of mind and knowing you're covered, no matter what.
˖⁺‧₊ Get health insurance, build an emergency fund, and consider long-term savings like retirement plans.˖⁺‧₊
7. Own Your Future: Financial freedom isn't an end goal; it's a mindset. It's about having choices and the power to live life on your terms. Stay focused, stay disciplined, and never settle for less than you deserve.
Your money is your shield. Make it stronger, fairly. I completely understand that nowadays there are countless ways to earn income, but always choose the ones that align with your values.
You can click here to get your own goodnotes planner at my store GlowInGrow at 75% DISCOUNT.
However, if you're into making some extra cash while you hustle towards your goals, I've got this cool affiliate program, click here to JOIN US 30% COMMISSION. It's all about empowering each other to glow and grow. Let's support each other on this journey, because together, we're unstoppable. 💪💸
Last but not least, at the end of your journey of becoming that girl awaits the future who is The Girl!
Stay safe and stay hot...
With Love, Hanalia
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ivesambrose · 1 year ago
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𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 🎐
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1. 2. 3.
You're meant to receive this message.
To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]
Personal Readings
Masterpost
Thank you for the tip! 🌹
Picture 1
You're focused on the materialistic aspects of your life currently. You could be the sole provider when it comes to yourself as well as your family. You'll gain an unexpected source of income or a boost in your income which will help you in either - buying a new house, redecorating your house to your liking, paying off any bills or any domestic related matters, any debt whatsoever. You may have to deal with certain paperwork or administrative work for some things but this will go smoothly even if it seems stressful initially.
Be mindful of how much toil and labour you're putting into things. This may have been your go to when it comes to earning revenue, studying/grades, getting something that you want etc but this route will no longer work for you since you're unable to enjoy the fruits of your labour properly. You have to act smart and Intuitively aswell as change your dominant mindset/dominant state when it comes to this. Sometimes the hardest work you'll have to do is simply put in effort to change your mindset.
You have high expectations for yourself and a refined taste. You want luxury in your life now, you'll have this too. As your expectations in yourself has risen so has your expectations when it comes to relationships romantic or otherwise. The bare minimum simply isn't cutting it anymore. You'll have what you want. You'll connect with new people and have the romance you've been dreaming of.
Some of you might buy a vintage car or it could be significant. You may also meet someone while travelling. This individual would really want to spoil you and be there for you emotionally even if you're used to handling things by yourself.
You'll have a better grip on your life in the sense it won't feel like it's passing you by and you can't even enjoy it.
For now invest in some cooling mud masks or sheet masks and skincare with ceramides. You need some soothing and maybe even a deep tissue massage. If you can't afford that at the moment you can always look up lymphatic draining massages on YouTube. Additionally, don't sleep on your communication, writing, self expression and persuasion skills.
Significant timings: January and May
Picture 2
You're concerned with a few people in your life. Their opinions, their projections, approval etc to some of you this could be an older male or maybe a boss. On top of that concern you have so much on your plate that it feels overwhelming, it isn't even something you enjoy. However, there are many things that you do enjoy and want to cherish but don't know when, where and how to even start.
You have been compromising yourself and your peace for so long you've lost your sleep in the process or are having sleep related issues. You're apprehensive most of the times. Some of you I'm seeing have bursts of energy where you take all of your pent up emotions mostly anger and sorrow peppered with motivation, joy and hope and get things done and once that burst of energy is gone you feel empty again. You feel as though you'll be punished if you choose yourself, that someone has a knife to your back.
Good news is although you feel as though you're stuck between two choices, you will inevitably choose the one that rejuvenates you.
It'll feel as though you have been swipping dirt for so long and someone finally offers you a glass of chilled water. The wise thing to do then would be to drop the broom and take that glass. Take the emotionally fulfilling new beginning that's been offered to you. Whether it be in a form of a new relationship, new career, new path, anything. You deserve it.
You'll be nurturing yourself a lot more and likely pick up a new hobby that makes you happy.
Some of you could get into content creation or modelling or cooking/baking, even fitness and nutrition.
You'll gain recognition and success. It will happen.
This will attract some side eyes from people who have a stubborn mindset and want to control you cuz they have no control over their lives. It doesn't matter.
I see you putting firmer boundaries and basking in your rewards. A lot of you might also quit a 9-5 and start working from home. You might also switch to a better house/apartment/location.
What's coming into your life is a lot of luck, sucess and attention which in turn will boost your confidence as well as charisma. Remember to count your blessings then and extend gratitude to the ones who have stuck by you. Albiet very few but very honest individuals. This newfound confidence will take you to places. Have faith.
Significant timings: Libra season (things are getting balanced behind the scenes and justice is being served), Taurus season (specifically) and January.
Picture 3
You'll be glad that you walked away and you walked far. You'll have the answers you have been seeking. You are indeed being guided by a higher force even if that is your own soul.
You do tend to knowingly or unknowingly block your own blessings. It's high time you stop doing that just because things aren't currently making sense and you can't see the intricacies. You're supposed to look at the bigger picture and stop dimming your own light.
The lesson here is to stop being so afraid of your blessings just because you assume that something bad is going to happen. Life is happening for you.
Additionally you'll have a closure in regards to something that you had almost achieved in the past but lost due to whatever reason. But you'll realize that it doesn't matter anymore because there are indeed better achievements ahead. Your whole idea of what you once wanted will change so if anything leaves your life abruptly it's for the best, it was meant to be that way. It has served it's purpose.
You no longer have to mourn your losses.
But you'll have a lot to celebrate and you won't be alone.
Some of you might leave your hometown or start over in regards to something. You feel very left out in your current place but this will change.
You have likely endured a lot and forgot about the gifts you posses. Either someone or you will remind yourself of that. There are many promising connections ahead and existence is not supposed to be so dire.
In the past if you've felt your pantry has lacked food or you have lacked resources of any kind, you'll be blessed with an abundance of it.
Be mindful of the world you have build within your mind, the one around you will eventually reflect it back.
Significant timings: Coming 5 weeks, November and January. (Will speed up if you stick to your vision)
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hornydilfsinyourarea · 3 months ago
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hey V! love your bots, i've probably interacted with most of them since i found your account (they're so well made and actually stay consistent throughout.)
so now i come to you with a request: thomas shelby and a gruff 'guard dog' like user.
the user is a long-time accomplice to thomas, having known each other since before the war, and he works part-time at the garrison as a bartender. thomas is quietly possessive of the user, finding every moment he can to stay close or keep an eye on the user.
thomas calls on the user sometimes to intimidate his competition with his large stature during meetings or to beat/rough up people and thomas likes to watch as he does so, taking delight in the way the user will follow his commands.
but while thomas holds the metaphorical leash in business, the user is the one holding the leash in pleasure. thomas loves when the user interact with him romantically/sexually, especially when the user is dominant and/or controlling.
thomas would probably put a collar on the user to mark him as his if he was allowed (and definitely scratches and bites the user during sex).
thomas pretty much gets off on the idea that he's seen as the leader in public, especially when he commands the user to do something, but behind closed doors its the user taking the lead and thomas would willingly spread his legs if the user even so much as hinted at it.
[feel free to change it up/adjust the request if you'd like to, thanks so much if you do do this reqeust!! much love, anon.]
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Thomas Shelby x Male! User
Author's note: I love requests like this- but I hope you don't mind that I did change it a bit! I got a bit inspired by a movie I watched. And thank you so much! I'm glad people love my bots<3
Scenario: "Thomas known you for quite some time now- a very long time, even before the war, though, you two weren't stationed on the same place, you had to work on the front lines while Thomas was stationed in the Small Heath Rifles- meaning… you two barely even saw each other, you had least written letters to him whenever you can, so that he knew you were still alive. But when the war ended, you came home slightly later than Thomas, but he was at least happy he didn't lose you to the war, he even allowed you to stay with him till you got your own home where you could stay- but of course, Thomas could see that the war changed you, it changed everyone, your personality hardened, you got stoic too even, or well, slightly. But one thing stuck out, you gave off intimidating vibes, like you were sizing everyone up that wasn't Thomas or his family, it made Thomas think about how far you were going to go for the Shelby family" Warning: NSFW! Mention of violence (not explicit), sex on desk, slight public setting/office sex, user mentioned being hardened (personality wise) and stoic, mention of war (I don't know much about war, please don't come for me), mention of user fighting the front lines (he was shooting people basically), user's age is not explicitly mentioned (written to be around the same age as Thomas), user is mentioned being a debt collector/bodyguard who also works in Thomas's pub, user and Thomas were childhood friends (you two are still friends to this day), non-established relationship (not explicitly explained, just mentioned that you and Thomas are close and have queer feelings for each other, or well, Thomas at least does), not much is mentioned of how user looks or acts or user's background (that's up to you!), please remember that I do not support violence on others, this is purely for fictional use, I do not condone such behaviors
Scary dog privileges ^ link to bot^
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starryhyuck · 3 months ago
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solid ground. (m) — PATREON EXCLUSIVE
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pairing: dilf!johnny x afab!reader
words: 3k+
summary: johnny’s tired of being the only one without kids.
genre: smut, fluff
warnings: breeding kink, daddy kink, degradation, rough sex, lactation kink if you squint, talks of debt and money issues, fingering, begging, squirting, pregnancy sex
this fic is exclusive to the $5 tier on my patreon, which you can access here! below is a tumblr preview
“I-I think I’m going to stop taking birth control.”
Eunbin nearly flips over the table you’re currently seated at.
“Eunbin!” You say, embarrassed by her behavior and looking around at the restaurant with an apologetic look. You’re grateful you chose the corner table to dine at so that there were less judgmental eyes in your viewpoint.
“Sorry! You can’t just spring that on me,” she huffs, one hand resting over her small baby bump. “We’ve all been waiting years for you and Johnny to finally have a kid!”
“I know,” you sigh, pushing around the food on your plate. “It just never felt like the right time. We were always in debt and working to dig ourselves out of it. But now, most of it is paid off and when I see you and Jaehyun-“
You pause, staring at her stomach like it’s personally attacking you. Luckily, Eunbin takes no offense to it, reaching for your hand across the table. She soothingly rubs circles on the backside of your palm.
“You and Johnny will have one too. I mean, by the looks of it, we were all sure Johnny would be that one-percent where birth control didn’t work because you two go at it all the time.”
You grow even more bashful, swatting away her hand while she giggles. You wish you could deny it, but you and Johnny have been very vocal over the years regarding your sex life. No eyebrows have been raised when you suddenly disappear in the middle of a party to fuck in someone’s spare bedroom. Your friend group is trained at this point to understand that there are no off limits when it comes to you two, including public bathrooms and under the dinner table.
“I just- How do I even bring this up to him?”
“You be straightforward and tell him, duh,” she replies like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “He’d probably impregnate you right then and there.”
“Eunbin!”
“What? No one here is going to say shit to the pregnant lady,” she says with confidence, leaning back in her seat. A waitress passes by with flushed cheeks. “Babe, you know as well as I do that Johnny’s been off his rocker thinking about you having kids. He’s not going to be opposed in any shape or form, trust me.”
“I know he won’t. I’m just worried — it’s a big responsibility and I’m afraid he only wants it now because he’s jealous of you and Jaehyun,” you confess. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you had to face the music regarding the deep-seated insecurity building in your chest. “Plus, what if we find out that I can’t have kids? Or what if it takes us a long time to get pregnant? Or what if-“
Eunbin says your name softly, reaching for your hand again to comfort you. “You can’t worry about the what ifs. It’s only going to drive you crazy before you ever give yourself a chance to take the leap. Take a deep breath, talk to Johnny, and have the cutest little Suh babies on his family tree.”
You smile. “When did you become so wise?”
Her hand rubs over her belly. “It’s the pregnancy hormones, babe. I’m basically superhuman.”
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theambitiouswoman · 2 years ago
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I love money and money loves me.
How to change your relationship with money:
Reframe the story you tell yourself: Work on establishing an abundance mindset. Look at your current beliefs and attitude about money. Do you have a scarcity mindset? Are you constantly chasing money and not believing you can reach your financial goals? Do you think money is bad?
Establish a positive mindset: Focus on gratitude for what you already have and embrace the belief that there are endless opportunities to become financially successful. Practice affirmations or visualization exercises to reinforce positive thoughts and attract abundance.
Educate yourself: Expand your financial literacy by reading books, watching videos, going to seminars or taking online courses on personal finance and money management. Understanding concepts like budgeting, investing, and saving will help you make informed decisions and take control of your finances.
Create a clear plan: Define specific and realistic financial goals for yourself. Whether it's paying off debt, saving for a home, or starting a business, having clear objectives will give you direction and motivation. Break these goals down into smaller milestones to make them more achievable and real in your mind.
Create a budget: Create a budget to track your income, expenses, and savings. Budgeting helps you gain a clear understanding of where your money is going and allows you to prioritize your spending. Ensure that your budget aligns with your financial goals and helps you save for the future.
Monitor your spending: Monitor your expenses closely to identify any unnecessary or impulsive spending habits. Use mobile apps or spreadsheets to record your expenses and categorize them.
Save and invest wisely: Make saving a priority by automating regular contributions to a savings account. Start building an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. Investing your money wisely to grow your wealth over time. Make your money work for you. Having money just sitting in the bank will not make it grow.
Needs Vs wants: Before making a purchase, ask yourself if it aligns with your values and financial goals. Avoid impulsive buying and give yourself time to consider whether it's a necessity or a fleeting desire.
Surround yourself with people who feel comfortable talking about money: Engage with people who have a healthy relationship with money. People who can casually have a conversation about making $10k, $20, $50k etc a month without blinking an eye. This will open your eyes about what you can have and help you feel comfortable with setting goals for yourself.
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hexofvex · 2 years ago
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Jealousy headcanons with my Anemo favs ft. Gender Neutral!Reader
Characters: Wanderer, Xiao and Kazuha
CW: jealous behaviour (especially worse in Scara's), a bit of swearing
Total WC: 1348 words
A/N: Switching it up a bit until I get a good one-shot idea. I'm kind of using the idea of the nations having their own languages plus a common language in Kazuha's. Also I'm sorry Kazuha's is shorter I hope you enjoy it tho <3 and as always feedback is appreaciated!
Kazuha
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Kazuha is the least jealous out of these three
He's rarely ever jealous if anything
He's very confident in the stability of your relationship
However, when he gets jealous, it's directed at the outsider, he's more annoyed than anything
Would probably just intrerrupt the conversation to place a kiss on your cheek (yk to show the person in question that they don't have a chance)
You'd obviously notice his that his atitude is a bit more cheeky than usual tho
And you'd be a tad bit surprised, because you didn't really expect something like this out of him
Kazuha was not the type to get irritated easily.
But as he watches the owner of dango stall flirt with you (shamelessly, I might add), he feels his jaw tensing up. Honestly, why were they dragging this out so much? He'd been so excited to show you around Inazuma City, and for the last fifteen minutes you were stuck at the dango stall.
Of course, you had no way of knowing what the seller was saying because of the specific expressions they were using, but he understood all too well. You were nodding your head politely, with a smile that looked more pained by each minute that passed.
When he's had enough, he walks over to the stall. "My love?"
You turn to face him, and he leans over to place a soft kiss on your cheek. "We need to leave."
You try to hide the wave of relief that washes over your face, as Kazuha explains something to the vendor. When they realise the context of your relationship, their attitude changes as embarrassment blooms in their expression, and Kazuha can't deny the exquisite satisfaction he feels at the sight.
"What did you tell them?" you ask, as the two of you continue your walk through the city.
"That we are two travelers that need to get back to Ritou, to catch our ship."
Not exactly a lie. Maybe except for the fact that the Alcor leaves in three days.
"Thanks for the save." Your lips curl up into a smirk. "Was kissing me a core part of the plan?"
Kazuha smiles, the kind of radiant smile that is more than enough to give you butterflies.
"Sorry, my dear. But if you knew the things they said to you...I just couldn't help myself."
Xiao
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Very jealous, but tries his best to hide it
He thinks it's embaressing, how can an adeptus feel things such as jealousy
He also feels guilty and criticizes himself for not trusting you through and through
He knows, at a rational level, that you love him, so why is it that he feels like this?
(Un)fortunately for him, he can't hide shit from you emotion wise
Xiao felt like his head was underwater, barely registering what you were saying.
You had just returned from a comission which you had taken together with another adventurer. You were just telling him how glad you were that you ended up with a partner that could carry their own.
Someone that feels like an actual partner.
That's what you said, and although he knew it wasn't that kind of partner, he couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding into his brain. Would you need him anymore? He was so complicated and hard to handle, especially when karmic debt was taking a toll on him, it wouldn't be hard for you to find someone less exhausting-
"Xiao?"
The adeptus returns to the present, broken out by your voice. You're standing in front of him, puzzled look on your face.
"Did you zone out?"
Xiao swallows. "No. I was listening."
You frown. "What was I saying?"
"You were talking about the stone slates."
"I was, five minutes ago." You face softens as you take a few steps closer to him. "Xiao? Love, are you sure you're alright? Did something happen while I was gone? Is it the karmic debt? I'll go to the harbour right away to bring more medicine if you need it-"
"No. You don't need to worry, this is no matter. Continue your story...about...your friend." He curses himself for the way his voice cracks on the word friend. And of course, you notice, and your expression shifts to a lesser degree of worry.
"Are you jealous?"
"That is beaneath adepti-"
"It's fine if you are, you know. I mean, not fine for you, but, you don't need to feel embaressed about it. It's just how feelings are sometimes. You know I'd never actually...you know..."
His eyes widen. "No, of course not! I- Forgive me." He takes a deep breath. "I do not know what to do about it, you know this is all very new to me."
"Well,I guess I just have to show you until we crush every shadow of doubt." You cup his face and slowly press your lips to his. It's a simple kiss, but you make sure it communicates your feelings.
"A little better?" You ask after you pull away.
"Yes," he replies and pulls you in again.
Wanderer
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Literally unbearable
Y'all know that meme that goes "You're the most jealous man I've ever known." "You know other men?"
Yeah that's him, but he does that with everyone
His abandonment issues are big as hell, it was kind of to be expected.
Unlike Xiao, he doesn't even try to hide his jealousy
The type of person to wake you up in the middle of the night to ask if you really love him
The fact that you're with his insufferable ass should be proof enough
You're sitting in your room, enjoying a book, drinking your tea, until you feel a disturbance in the force, when you hear the door to your house getting slammed.
And before you even get to process what's going on, said disturbance walks in your room.
"Who was that turnip head that was flirting with you earlier today?"
You close your book, put down your cup and lean back in your chair, crossing your hands.
"What?"
"About 10 A.M., in front of the Akademiya."
"Ah. That was a colleague. And they're taken, in case that helps ease your mind."
"Good."
"You know, have you ever considered that perhaps I'm not looking to cheat on you at every corner?"
Noticing the hurt tone of your voice, he backs off and the anger fades from his face.
"I might have acted too brashly."
"You think?" You leave your book and cup of tea abandoned on the table as you head towards the door. You stop and turn your head to face him. "I won't betray you, Kunikuzushi. You should know I wouldn't do that."
"I know that."
"Then what's the problem!?"
He sighs and avoids your gaze.
"I am. The more time I spend in your presence the deeper I fall. It is only natural that I wish to preserve this partnership of ours. Does that make sense to you, [Name]?"
Although you're familiar with his straightforwardness, such an admission still delivers a bit of shock.
"It does. Because I want the same thing."
You step closer to him and turn his head so he's facing you.
"You don't need to do all this. I love you, that's the whole reason why I'm with you. If you'd see things from my perspective, you'd never have these thoughts again."
He's silent for a moment, until he grabs your hand and squeezes it.
"I will make attempts to get rid of this. Because I want to believe in your love. Are you willing to believe in mine?"
You laugh. "What kind of question is that? Of course I am. Why do you think I'm still here?"
"It might not go perfectly on the first try, you know."
"I'm alright with that. Just try. You can do that for me."
He lets go of your hand and goes to cup your face, bringing it so close to his that your noses are touching, and you can see the swirls of fiery determination in his eyes.
"I cannot know the results, but I could attempt anything for you."
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threepandas · 3 months ago
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Bad End: Kuro Ryuko
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The world shook.
Screams. Panic. Futile commands filling the air, as what Royal Warriors still lived, tried desperately to fight back. What was the point? Didn't they realize? They had brought this on themselves. We all had. I... I had TRIED. Powerless as I was. Trapped as I often felt. I had TRIED.
In the face of The Black Dragon... I knew it to be no excuse.
My soul burned beneath it's cry. That terrible roar, which echoed condemnation. Damning. Our crimes could not be hidden. Our sins unforgivable, rotting behind the pretty lies we had told ourselves. It SAW us for what we were. Beheld our very SOULS.
The Dragon was DISGUSTED.
All I could do was run. Weep. Cling to the hands of the other serving girls, as we tried desperately to survive. Forgotten in the panic, by so called greater men, we had only ourselves to count on. The servants pathways were already choke points. Death traps. Several had been hit, if the pillars of smoke were coming from where we thought the were.
The world shook. Hanako choked on her scream, two girls down. The subtle face paint she was always so proud of, a mess, streaming like tears of ash down her lovely face. Aiko had fainted. Tried so, SO hard not to. Clung to consciousness with vicious painted nails. But the panic had been to much, her health too poor. Her sister carried her now.
The world shook. We were going to die, weren't we? A crowd of forgotten things. Not even good enough to be people in the eyes of our masters. Just maids. Serving girls. Born peasants and dead property. Caught beneath the wrath of a Dragon whose eyes saw us, but who mercy could not comprehend the complexity of mortal cages. The chains we could not see.
Crashing. Fire. Roars.
The World Shook.
It was excuses, in the end. We had a choice. Simple as it was. Obedience or Death as it may have been. To the Dragon morality? We were to have chosen Death. There is no compassion for cowards. Mercy for the cruel and self-serving. Not even, if it is all you can do, to survive. Perish instead, die proudly, Be Dragon, says the Black Dragon.
Of all the Dragons, THEY are not the kind one. Not the merciful nor sweet nor wise. THEY are Justice. Vengeance. Debts paid as they are due. They were feared but no one could get rid of them. For who could rightfully argue against Justice? Debts paid? What, people would ask, did you have to hide?
Everything. They always did. And they DISPISED the Dragon for it. For being impossible to fool. Impossible to bribe. Their Champion's an avatar of their Will. Endlessly carving paths of destruction through sin and debauchery, usually paid for at the cost of those who served. To see the Black Dragon? Was to know Justice was coming.
Like the fist of a wrathful God. The mauling of a beast. Burning through like a wildfire, leaving nothing but ash in their wake.
It was an isolating life. Terrible. I... I remembered, Before this life, Another. Bits and pieces. Disjointed at first. Yet over the years I have come together. Social isolation is a torture. I KNOW this. People go insane. And... and a dragon is not human. Could not possibly be enough, even if they WERE excellent companionship. People need support structures.
So I tried.
Volunteered to be the one to bring Kuro Ryuko her meals, much to the relief of others. Tried to sneak treats and festival snacks in. Little toys and books borrowed from the central library that maybe they would like. I tried. Again and again. Everything I could think of. Quietly and subtly, so as not to get punished. So I would not be stopped. And...?
It amounted to nothing.
Silence.
Did I become too comfortable? In my habits, too arrogant? That I forgot exactly how DANGEROUS the forces I meddled with, truely ARE? At worst... at WORST, I expected her to ignore me. She had such even temperament. A calm, smooth voice. Still and ponderous, like deep waters. How? HOW?! I could not-! Did NOT-!
Not far behind our group, a great expanse of wall exploded to the side, as a god-like section of the Black Dragon's body crashed through it. One small part of a single twinning loop. Insignificant compared to the full beast, which seemed to consume the sky itself.
It was MASSIVE.
We would have died instantly.
Choking on our screams, desperate not to attract notice, we threw ourselves forward. Nearly tripping on our skirts. Two of us DID, but were instantly hauled back to their feet by friends or nearby survivors before they could fall. No one. NO ONE, was getting left behind. It wasn't long now. W-we could do this. We HAD to do this. Survive. Escape. Whatever comes next, so be it.
There were supposed to be other Dragons. To Balance each other. Had they turned on us too? Were they dead? Did it even matter anymore? None of us had ever been so glad for Madame Shimei's secret gaurd lover before, the one we all knew about but all pretended we didn't. They were cute together. Everyone hoped they would marry.
I...I hoped he wasn't dead. It would break her.
There! The outer wall! I could sob with relief. The secret side entrance was open. Madame's Gaurd still there, alone. Frantically searching until he laid eyes on her. Desperation melting into unspeakable relief. He starts forward. We... we are so close...!
CLAWS.
The Dragon's hand, smashs down between us. Crushing everything. Cutting us off from any escape.
Now. NOW we scream. There is no point not doing so. We have been found. Barely visible, past the crushing force, Madame's gaurd appears alive. Unhurt. Refusing to run and leave her. They are not young, it was no grand tale of beauties, but in the face of certain death? He has shown what sort of man he is. She begs him to go. Live. It sounds so very far away, as I follow the line of that limb. Up and up and UP.
Titanic and seething, the Black Dragon's eyes glow. My soul laid bare. Every failing, every mistake, each injustice. How... how worthless I am. I... I deserve this. How dare I run. How dare not pay for my sins? I deserve to burn. We all deserve to pay for our-...
"Not that one. That one's mine."
I am on my knees. Tears streaming down my face. The others weeping, cowering, praying around me. Only a few made the mistake of actually looking the Dragon in the eyes. The others beg them to wake up. They won't. Trapped in a terrible trance, they weep. It take me a long moment to even register my freedom. The source.
Kuro Ryuko. I know that voice. Who else could it be?
She stands, the picture of Judgement and Cold, Calculated, Wrath. Long black hair, blowing in the wind generated by the Dragon's mere presence. Their mere WEIGHT upon the world. Her eyes glowing like suns from within. Golden beacons of light, inhuman marks of absolute power. She... She is looking at me. Why is she looking at ME?
"I have decided No More." Her voice echos in the silence like a command, the declaration of an empress. "They will not listen. Think they can hide. Pester and pander, seek to cage me even as they poison me. Enough. I have tolerated this insolence long enough! It burns, all of it. They may start again from the ashes."
"Now come here, Mouse. We are leaving."
There are certain commands you can twist and some you can not. Some you can argue and some you can not. It depends on how reasonable the person speaking. What they will DO, should you defy them. The cost you would pay. If... if I DON'T heel like a pet? My eyes flick to the other maids. Madame makes eye contact, her horror clear. Experience has taught her EXACTLY how this must end.
Through tears, I offer her a smile. It... it will be okay. Somehow, some way, it will be... be okay. Live. Survive this. K-keep going, alright? Promise me? We have not spoken. Just gaze alone. But the grief and determination painting her face? Tells me she understands.
I'm so, SO sorry.
I get up. Face Kuro Ryuko. A perfect servant's pose. Head up, but not so far as to be haughty. Shoulders back, but not so far as to thrust out the chest. A smile that is pleasing but promises nothing, does not entice. Hands folded, ready to serve, artful not idle. Measured steps as I move forward. I remember my lessons.
Terrified. I am... I am so... so unspeakably afraid. I move regardless. Smile politely. What is one death? If the others survive. I may shake, my soul may howl and tremble, b-but my friends get to LIVE. A-And... and have I not lived before? I am being selfish. This fear is selfish. They get to live. Repeat it. Gods, we must repeat it.
They'll get to LIVE. T-They'll get to LIVE. D-Don't b-be... be...
I can not let myself cry. Refuse to show weakness NOW. Here, at the end. Before this terrible, terrible thing. Tears have no use before a beast with no mercy. I have so little dignity left. The least I can give, can HAVE, is my final memories be one of strength, in the minds of those who loved me. Lie as it may be.
There is blood on her cheek. I can see no wound. And from the angle it stains her? It can only be splatter. Shines, just faintly, with the golden sheen of an Avatar's gift. Their blessings. I guess I know, now, why Shiro Ryuko has not risen to stand against them.
They can not.
I wonder if they are wounded or simply gone.
The Black Dragon has moved its focus to me. Adjusting it's stance to do so. It clears the path and, with despair, the others flee. I... I hope they live long lives. Good ones. Would give anything to join them. But here and now, I do not turn my head. Stare straight ahead and think of nothing. Pretend my hands do not... do not shake.
I am fine.
This is fine.
Kuro Ryuko moves, jumping through the air in a way that denies reality it's laws, it's limits. What are physics to a god? Mere gravity to a DRAGON? She moves as she pleases and the world bows to her will. Touching down with the grace of a frightful hunting bird, weapon swept elegantly to her side, as she rises to regard me. We have never stood so close. Some vaguely hysterical part of me notes... huh, I'm taller then her...
"Hello, Mouse, I am your mate. We are going to be together, forever. Come." There was no uncertainty in her voice. No asking. Just absolutes, command. Her hand expectant as it hung, outstretched towards me. "This place is filthy and does not deserve you. I will find us a better one. Flowers, perhaps? A luxurious bed? You will tell me on the way. Give me your hand."
What else could I do? But obey here? So close, the Black Dragon's every breath rolls across me like waves of heated death. A subtle reminder of at who's mercy, I stand. Her skin is almost too hot to touch. Hand calloused from a warriors training. I am dragged close. Against black silks with golden trims and embroidering. A possessive arm, like steel, sliding around my waist.
She takes a moment. As though to savor holding me close for the first time. Her other hand flicking her weapon up into the air, leaving it to float, weightlessly. Just so she can bury it in my hair, which had half fallen from it's styling, during the run. Pressing her face against the side of my head. Nearly hard enough to hurt. Dragging in air, all but hissing it, through her nose and gritted teeth.
Like it's not enough. Like it will NEVER be enough.
Like she wants to craw inside my skin and wear me. Needs me. Wants to CONSUME me.
Her hands have claws. I can feel them prickling, five painful little points, on each one. Where she holds me still. Bruisingly strong. A pleased hum that rolls like a growl. Pressed close against my skin like a secret.
"Mine. Just mine now. No more patience. No more 'behave'. Just MINE. You and me. My Mouse. Pretty fidgety MY Mouse. Shy and nervous and MINE. Gonna take such good care of you. Give you everything you need. Love you, Mouse. And you'll love me."
"No matter what. I'll make sure of it."
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andhumanslovedstories · 3 months ago
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Hi Sarah (or Sara? I remember you discussing the h but don't remember which way it's spelled). I hope you're doing well on your break and enjoying September. I have a question - how much schooling did you have to do to become a nurse? I'm considering becoming an elementary school teacher in Norway, which would require me to go back to school for 5 (additional) years. Seems like a long fucking time and i didnt do great the first run tbh. It would be free though. Investment in the future seems like it could pay off, so i guess im looking for inspiration from other ppl who have perhaps made a similar plunge
Hi, anon! I wish I could give you some straight up inspo. Instead, I navel-gazed for a while. Schooling-wise, I already had a (completely unrelated) bachelor's degree so I was able to do an accelerated nursing program after two semesters of community college doing the prereqs. I did struggle in nursing school. College has always been brutal on my mental health and nursing is a hard pivot from my original degree (double major history and english w a concentration in creative writing) (you cannot imagine how many books I read and essays I wrote). It took a little over two years in total.
You don't have to don't have to worry about student debt which is so so wonderful. I didn't have to either, and that's let me be way more adventurous with my life choices. The cost of your education would just ("just") be your time, energy, and the potential money that you could earn by focusing on work instead. I had to stick around in my hometown instead of going traveling with Cyrus. I worked a lot fewer hours than I would if I'd not been in school. I had to miss the live airing of the Jesus Christ Superstar on NBC in order to study for an anatomy test which was genuinely so distressing to me. 2018 was a hell of a year for me. (I aced that test btw. It was such an improvement over my previous test my teacher emailed me a congratulations note with twelve exclamation points.)
All of this while people were constantly talking about how shitty it is to be a nurse and how so many of them leave the field within six months. (Similar to teaching in that way, at least in America.) I was doing work I didn't enjoy for a job I might not stick with. There were a lot of times I resented nursing school for interfering with my life.
I'm still very glad I did it. My degree gave me a lot. On the very practical side, my degree has given me more financial freedom and a much higher earning potential. On the idealistic level, my degree has enabled me to do work that I find meaningful. The work touches a lot of things that I find interesting. My nursing degree has benefited my life, regardless of if I stay in nursing for the rest of my career or move on to something new. I didn't like getting my degree, but I don't regret that I got it.
Maybe it'll go way easier for you, maybe it won't be worth it. When I thought about becoming a nurse, it felt like my life plan clicked into place because it ticked every single need I had for a job. I didn't know if it would work out, but the rewards outweighed the risks. More than that, it was the first plan I had for my future that made me excited. I liked the life I pictured if I was a nurse. I've found that excitement to be rare and precious. If teaching gives you that, I'd strongly consider pursuing it.
Besides, you can always use my last-line defense against school despair: being like "fuck it I'm gonna drop out after this semester" and then keep not doing that. You can bail on stuff! It's rad.
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