#how to recover deleted contacts

[the-final-sif]

Dream's Response Summary

Dream posted a response to various accusations, covering just about everything ever because he was done with this shit. I've done my best to summarize it here, but I recommend going and watching his whole video. This is going to be extremely summarized for readability and I'm only going to cover stuff I consider serious so anything about speedrunning is getting skipped.

The tl:dr is: Dream never groomed anyone or had inappropriate contact with anyone underage, he provided proof that one accuser flat out lied, and the other ""accusation"" was from a third party who was never involved. The actual supposed victim released a statement that they were never groomed, nor a victim in any way, never was asked about someone sharing information about them, and wants everyone to shut the fuck up.

Police were never actually contacted, both twitter accounts were lying about doing so to make their claims seem real. Also the supposed snapchat video shown is a very obvious fake.

He covers Manatreed, the run down is the guy was a childhood best friend he grew up with and who was struggling with homelessness. Dream helped him, and never knew about the battery charge (Manatreed had lied to him about it). When Dream spoke to Manatreed's ex girlfriend, she was very clear she never wanted any of this publicly out there, that she was happy that Dream had been helping Manatreed and she wanted the best for him.

Dream still doesn't know exactly what happened with that situation, he has since lost contract with Manatreed, all he knows is he was trying to help a childhood friend and got lied to.

The first allegation from Oxy/Anastasia, he's extremely clear they only ever messaged in twitter dms and he disproves the claim about the texts/tik tok. He has a google voice number hooked up to his tik tok account for obvious reasons, and she was showing imessage texts. This is not possible, which means she was lying.

As part of this, Dream scrolls through his twitter dms and shows he responds to fans all the time and talks to people in his community from all over. He also shows how he's friends with and has hired people that were fans of his, including people like Foolish.

He discusses Amanda, the two of them messaged on instagram back when he was a much smaller creator. He showed/posted the transcript of the two of them talking about normal stuff. They had been messaging since 2020. He did attempt to post a complete transcript of those messages, but she had deleted some of her messages and he doesn't have a way to recover them.

Dream explains that Instagram has a "feature" where if you ever reply to someone, then you literally cannot remove their ability to message you without blocking them. Something I did not know about instagram and which is fucking wild.

Since he replied to her in 2020, that meant she could message him forever and her notifications would be constantly showing up for him. He attempted to delete her messages/her ability to message him back in 2021 and showed proof of this, but realized he couldn't. Dream also in doing so accidentally deleted the context to her messages that she was a fan and basically everything prior to 2021.

Since he didn't remember her (what with the prior messages deleted), she was dmnig him from her personal account without fan content on it and was talking about being a streamer, he assumed she was a smaller streamer he knew and was talking to her as such.

They were talking about music so he gave her his personal snapchat to talk and because he wanted to get some feedback on a new song he was working on. He wanted to send the song via snapchat so he could be reasonably sure it'd stay private.

Dream categorically denies any sexting with Amanda or sexual messaging at all, he goes through why she most likely did this (he had been ignoring her messages and made a new snapchat with only close friends). He also downloaded his own data (something Amanda refused to/failed to do), went through the snapchat logs and did see some messages, but never saw either of his supposed compliments to her.

Amanda claimed Dream deleted her dms and that's why she couldn't provide any of the evidence she claimed she had, but Dream showed those same DMs very clearly undeleted. The dms were never deleted and she lied as an excuse.

Amanda lied about going to the police. Dream had his lawyers file a bunch of requests, and track down the police station that she went to based on the photo. They filed every request possible for any information with this police station, and there was no record of Amanda visiting the station or any records relating to Dream whatsoever. So either she lied about filing anything, or she told a story such that the police filed literally no paperwork whatsoever about the situation. Not even a report.

Dream sent the police station a copy of his own drivers license and Amanda's information so they could contact him if anything did come up, and nothing ever did. Nothing was filed, nobody cared.

Dream got swatted several times as a result of online harassment, including his family, and the harassment was overwhelming and awful for him.

He addresses the gumball situation, he showed up to a birthday party for a friend, gumball's VA was there and kept getting aggressive with him. While on facetime with some friends, Cantu ended up hitting Dream to impress them. Dream was obviously put off by this, but at the end of the night people ended up ubering together and Dream ended up in an uber with Cantu. He thought it'd be fine since other people were involved.

Cantu dropped his phone out the window made the uber driver pull over to look for it and got in trouble with the police. The uber driver tried to talk to Cantu about handling the police in the future, and Cantu started calling the uber driver slurs and claiming the uber driver had "down syndrome".

Dream got involved, trying to defend the uber driver, and Cantu threatened to kill him and called him slurs. Later Cantu apologized and Dream wanted to forgive him. Only later, Cantu started spreading lies about him and calling him a pedophile, so Dream realized the apology wasn't sincere and called him out for his behavior.

The third party who had been filming all of this saw what Cantu was doing lying about Dream and trying to claim none of this happened. They reached out to Dream and gave him the actual video as proof of what happened. Cantu tried to threaten them out of sending Dream the video of what happened, but they ignored him and sent them anyways. Dream also had the uber driver in his video backing up what he said.

Finally, the Jamie Allegations

Jamie is a mutual friend of several people that Dream knew, she did not post the allegations, she was never contacted about any of this she made an explicit statement that she was never groomed or a victim in any way.

Dream and Jamie meet prior to Dream being a youtuber on bbh's minecraft server, they were both fans of Skeppy. Which is why Jamie was followed by Dream, Skeppy, Vurb and some other youtubers in their friend group.

Jamie is still active online and put out her own statement, the person in the screenshots never gave permission for any of this to be put out, and they are very clear that the messages were taken out of context and that the claims made are false. The person in the screens is clear Dream is not a groomer, they never accused him of that, and that the twitter account is lying.

The snapchat video shown is very obviously fake, because snapchat just magically opens itself, there's no finger or button use interacting with the screen.

The burner account never actually contacted the police, Dream records him calling to the department they claimed to contact, and the person answering is very clear they have no contact from this person.

The supposed recent document posted is a fake convo of someone using a fake twitter account to talk to "Jamie", Jamie did not talk to them and it's just fake.

All of this was incredibly damaging for Jamie, who had no idea what was going on, and was getting harassed/stalked/having her irls contact.

Dream has also faced waves of harassment over obviously fake allegations, people have just been taking them at face value. He also shows how easy it is to fake these things as I have done.

He's been swatted, harassed, his family has been swatted and harassed, he's been scared for his own safety several times. It's been awful for him, and all based on fake shit. He's not stepping back from minecraft, but he is stepping back from twitter and no longer engaging with people behaving this way.

Also his ping pong record was undefeated.

[slenbee]

Some words of advice:

If you see someone claiming they're into 'ethical hacking' while also posting about scams telling people to 'report these scams to them personally' and to 'DM me for assistance' if you've been a victim of a scam or a hack?

They're most likely what's known as a recovery scammer.

You should block and avoid these people at all costs, and here's why.

To quote the automod bot from r/scams:

Recovery scams target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either "recovery agents" or hackers.

When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply advance-fee scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying.

If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.

Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you.

-----

I know the instagram/art commission scam has been going around a lot on tumblr lately, so if you or anyone you know has fallen victim for it and has posted about it, PLEASE be warned that recovery scammers (usually a friend or even the same scammer that scammed you originally) will try to 'help you' if you post publicly about getting scammed.

Here's some resources on various scams and how to spot them.

Stay safe folks!

[lostbookmark]

MDNI 🔞

MAIN MASTERLIST here

WHISPERED VOWS MASTERLIST here

Summary: You thought planning your wedding was going to be a magical memory. You didn't realize that it might make you second guess everything.

Pairing: Fiancée Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut, Hurt-Comfort

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Toxic Family Dynamics, Arguments, Talk Of Sex Toys, Self Doubt, Over Thinking, Yoongi Overworking Himself, Possible Food/Body/ Eating triggers.

A/N: I rewrote this damn chapter about 50 times. See the author's note at the bottom to see how it was originally going to end!

A/N 2: I accidentally deleted chapter 8 and couldn't recover it. I swear I almost deleted my whole account because I was so mad. I wrote it again, and it's actually much better than the first one.

You look in the mirror as you try on your fifth outfit that consists of jeans and a nice sweater. You felt ridiculous that you were this concerned about what you were going to wear. You were just meeting your sister, not going on a date or anything. It shouldn't feel like a big deal as you're making it out to be, but it was. You had a feeling this meeting was either going to get the two of you on track or say goodbye forever. Honestly, you don't think you're ready for either of those options.

“What happened here?” Yoongi said as he came into the bedroom and saw the mess you created.

Your clothes were thrown all over the room after you tried them on and discarded them in frustration. Random shoes lie by each other, nowhere near their matching mate. You didn't care, though. You only cared about trying to look your best without making it look like you were trying.

“I can't decide what to wear,” you tell him and throw your hands up in frustration. “Do I dress up? Do I just wear jeans? She's going to be dressed perfectly, I know it.”

“It's not a business meeting,” he comments, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your middle. “You don't even have to go.”

“I want to hear what she has to say to me,” you say. “I just, I need to do this.”

“I'll come with you,” he mumbles into your neck.

“No,” you whisper.

“I'll sit in the car and wait,” he offers and makes eye contact with you in the mirror.

You turn and wrap your arms behind his neck, hugging him. His own arms tighten around your waist, not wanting to let go as he buries his face further into your neck. His lips press against the smooth column of your neck. You were so thankful that you had him, but you had to stop relying on him so much.

“I don't want you getting hurt,” he says quietly. “We both know how she is. With how you have been avoiding your mom, I can guess what your conversation is going to be about.”

“Yoongi, I promise you that if it gets to that point. I will walk out and be done with her. I promise. I have to do this on my own. It's important to me that I do this on my own,” you tell him.

“Come to the studio when you're done,” he tells you, finally giving up on convincing you to stay home. Moving his face close to yours, he rubs your nose with his own. “Will you do that?”

“Yes,” you whisper and press your lips against his. “I’ll be fine.”

You look out the window at the coffee shop where you sit and wait for your sister to show up. They have various colors of red and pink hearts cut from paper taped to the windows in honor of Valentine's day coming up. You wonder if you and Yoongi will do anything that day, but you know you probably won't. It's okay, though. You don't really think that it's that important of a holiday. Last year, he made you dinner followed by the rest of the night in bed. You chuckle to yourself, thinking back to what Lisa had said. Maybe you will take a picture of what's hidden in your closet to intince him to come home that night. No, you're still too embarrassed just thinking about it.

You turn your attention to the glass of water on the table that you ordered when you sat down. It was cold in your hands as you played with it, turning it around and around as the ice clanked against the clear surface. You are not much of a coffee drinker and only drank it socially when you felt like you had to. Jisoo and Lisa need their tall latte, something with extra pumps of stuff to drink every day to survive. Yoongi drinks his black, and it takes like dirt. Much like flowers, you never understood the appeal of coffee and why people liked it so much. Maybe it was the caffeine or just the routine of having it every morning. You check your watch and see you have been waiting for ten minutes, but it sure felt like hours.

The bell to the entrance of the coffee shop jingles as you see your sister finally enter and look around the shop for you. When she spots you, you see her take a deep breath and walk over to the table in the far corner where you sat. There weren't many people around you, you thought that was for the best. As she sits across from you, you sit up just a little straighter in your own chair, straightening your posture. The server comes by and takes her order before either of you can say anything to each other. She ordered some soy something, and it sounded nasty.

"I'm surprised you actually texted me back,” she said, looking at you as she pushed her perfectly smooth hair behind her ears. It didn't seem that she was nervous at all, or she was at least good at covering it up.

“Me too,” you say truthfully as your foot under the table starts to tap quickly. “What did you want to talk about?”

There's a heavy silence that passes between you two as you stare at each other. You break eye contact, and you let your fingers grab a brown paper napkin that was in front of you. You roll it up and unroll it, over and over again, just to keep your hands busy. You wish you could at least appear half as confident as she looks. You both smile at the server, who brings the drink over and places it in front of her on the table. You watch as she takes a sip and places it back down on the table.

“Mingyu and I have been going to couples therapy for the last few months. It was his idea. He admitted during a session that our family dynamic is making him have second thoughts, and he is afraid to have a family with me,” she tells you. “He doesn't like how mom hovers or how you and I don't talk. I promised him that I would sit down with you and try to talk this out. See if we can repair our relationship.”

“Here I am,” you say, and she nods her head.

“I’ve thought about what I wanted to say to you for weeks before I finally got the courage to reach out to you, but now I don't know anymore. Now that I'm here in front of you, it all sounds stupid.” she admits. Her fingernails lightly tap a steady rhythm on her coffee cup. “I even wrote everything down and rehearsed it, but it still just comes out all wrong.”

“Just say it,” you urge, and your fingers grip the napkin harder. The ware on it starts creating small tears in the thin brown material. You were both nervous.

“As much as I don't want to admit it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and…” she whispers, staring at her coffee and stirring it with her spoon. “I think I was jealous of you.”

“What?” You ask, your voice full of disbelief and face full of confusion. Your sister is jealous of you? There was absolutely no way that you heard her correctly. “What do you mean?”

“She was always so overbearing with me. She had to control everything in my life. I had such high standards to live up to, and I had to work so hard to get there because I couldn't let her down. She told me all the time that I couldn't let her down. If I wasn’t the best, I was letting her down. I had to come first in everything. Etiquette classes, pageants, dance, student council, valedictorian ….” she trailed off, remembering everything that she had been a part of. “I had to be perfect but not you. She left you alone, and I HATED you for that. I hated that you didn't have to put in all that hard work that I did. I hated that you could make mistakes, and I couldn't.”

“You were jealous that I was ignored and yelled at?” you ask, scrunching your face at her. “What are you talking about?”

“Yes…no,” she looked frustrated as she looked up at you. “Remember when we would go camping at grandma and grandpa's cabin?”

“Yeah, the whole family went. You hated going,” you answer, wondering why this was important. “You looked miserable the whole time.”

“No, I didn't hate it. I was just never allowed to do anything. You got to go play with our cousins running around outside in the woods and I had to sit with mom because she didn't want me to get dirt under my nails or god forbid any scrapes that could be seen from a stage. You got to go to birthday parties and sleepovers. I couldn't because she always had to make sure that was sticking to my diet. I had to make sure I could fit in all my costumes at all times. She made every decision for me, but you…you got to do whatever you wanted,” she explains. “My whole life revolved around her and making her happy. All my decisions in life before I moved away were all made by her. I don't even think I know who I really am. I only know the person she crafted me to be.”

“I didn't know things were like that,” you told her softly.

“When I got to college, I almost had a panic attack because I didn't have her there with me telling me what to do. It was like I got so reliant on her, and I was scared,” she said with a sad smile. “Then I met Yoongi.”

You squirm in your seat at the mention of his name. Deep inside, you hoped that you could avoid any conversation about him. Unfortunately, you know he is a big point of contention right now, and he wasn't going to go away. He was going to be in your life forever, but there was no way you could possibly ever think about picking your sister over him if you were forced to choose.

“What about him?” you ask nervously, biting some loose skin on your dry lips.

“It was like….he was the first thing that was all mine,” she said thoughtfully.

“Thing? Do you hear yourself?” You ask, your jaw dropping a little. “Yoongi isn't a thing. He is a person.”

“I know that. You know what I mean,” she snaps a little bit but takes a breath and calms herself. “It was so great at first. We would go out on dates and hang out with friends in the dorms. It was almost like I finally had a normal life for once. A life that I made on my own, and mom had nothing to do with it. Then he started wanting to hang around you because he was always worried about you, and I didn't want to share his attention. I didn't know how to share his or anyones attention.”

“We were friends,” you tell her.

“Just friends? You know, he never got me anything for my birthday. He always said that he didn't like celebrating them,” she whispers as she slowly turns her engagement ring on her finger. It sparkled beautifully when it caught the sunlight at the right angle.“He always got you something though, didn't he?”

“I guess,” you can feel guilt swirl in your stomach because you can't deny her words.

“I tried to be perfect for him,” she says as a couple of stray tears fall down her face. “I did everything I thought I was supposed to do. I gave him all my attention. Had as much sex as he wanted, but it just wasn't enough. Why wasn't I perfect enough for him? Why couldn't I earn his love? I was good at earning people's love and attention.”

“You don't have to earn someone's love,” you explain. “That's not how that works, and you don't have to be perfect for anyone.”

“Will you be honest with me?” she asks softly, and you nod your head as you feel your nerves kick back in. “Were you ever with him when he and I were together?”

“No,” you say automatically. “I wouldn't have done that to you. We never crossed that line.”

“I could see the way he would look at you when he thought I wasn't around. He never looked at me that way. I….just could feel him slipping away from me, but I didn't want to let him go. I knew if I let him go…..he would run right to you,” she told you. “I was right.”

“I….” You start, but nothing else comes out. She was right, and once again, you couldn't deny it. He did run to you…eventually.

“How awful is that? I kept all three of us unhappy because I didn't want to fail at being someone's girlfriend,” she says, wiping her face. “I didn't know how to deal with failure because if I failed, that meant I wasn't perfect. It was never an option before.”

“He told me he felt guilty for how bad your relationship got,” you tell her, and she looks at you questioningly.

“Did he say anything else?” she asks, hiccuping slightly.

Yes, you thought to yourself. He called her suffocating, but there was no way that you could tell her that. She didn't deserve that, and you didn't want to hurt her. You had to choose your words wisely.

“He just said that you two were just…too different,” it wasn't a lie he did say that. “He said that it would have never worked out, and he should have broken it off sooner.”

The two of you fall into silence again. You take your water in your hands again and turn the glass around and around once again. You notice the ice has melted quickly. The condensation makes your hands wet this time, and you move to wipe them on your jeans. It leaves behind streaky handprints on the material of your jeans. Your sister takes a sip of her soy coffee and looks out the window as she sits her mug back on the table. She looks like she's trying to gather her thoughts. You give her the time she needs.

“I love Mingyu. I really love Mingyu,” she says, still looking out the window. “I honestly don't think that I ever TRULY loved Yoongi, not like I love Mingyu anyway. I was just so desperate. I'm just terrified that I will make the same mistakes…”

“No,” you say, cutting her off. “He loves you. He obviously wants to work on it if he wants to do therapy with you. He's fighting for you two, and you should work with him. You need to let Yoongi go. You're not a failure. You just….didn't know any better.”

“I'm sorry,” she said as her bottom lip quivered. “I'm so sorry. I see it now, I do. I know how awful I was. I'm working so hard to change for Mingyu….for myself.”

Tears well in your own eyes. You've never seen her like this. You have seen her cry, of course, throw a fit and have a tantrum, but this….this is new. This was raw, real, and it hurt you to watch her like this. You blink, and your own tears flow freely down your face.

“You don't have to accept my apology,” she says softly, wiping at her face again. “I probably wouldn't if I were you.”

“Can I say something?” You ask, your own voice shaky.

“Yes,” she says just as softly as before.

“I'm still hurt,” you tell her, and she looks down at her coffee. “I think a part of me will always be hurt no matter how many apologies I get or how much time passes. It's always going to linger somewhere.”

“I understand,” she says, nodding her head.

"But,” you continue, but your breath catches and you hiccup. “I want my big sister in my life.”

You start crying openly and sniffle as your nose starts to run. She looks at you with wide eyes and new tears form in her eyes. She blinks, and they fall down onto her perfectly unblemished face. This time, she doesn't wipe them away. They fall onto her pretty sweater, leaving wet spots as they soak into the material. You're sure if you look around, people would be staring at the two of you crying together in the corner. The two of you probably looked messy.

“Really?” she sobbed.

“Yeah. No Mom. No Yoongi or Mingyu,” you say. “Just you and me. I think we can figure it out if we don't rush it.”

You reach your hand across the table and place it in the center with your palm up. She stares at you for a moment before slowly reaching across and taking your hand in hers tentatively. You both smile a teary smile at each other. You don't even think that you can remember ever touching her like this…ever but it felt nice…almost normal.

“We will figure it out,” she promised, squeezing your hand. You nod your head…..you will.

Yoongi was walking around his studio with his earbuds in his ears when you finally arrived. You and your sister stayed sitting in the cafe for another hour, drying your tears together. You steered your conversation to her wedding. You wanted to lighten the heavy atmosphere with a happy topic. You learned she hired a wedding planner, and she thinks that's why your mom has been on your ass about helping you so much. Her wedding planner was lovely, but she was a no-nonsense woman who wasn't afraid to shut your mothers suggestions down or kick her out of a flower shop or two when she tried to take over. Everything makes sense now as to why she was so pushy. She told you not to give into her demands and even offered to give you her wedding planner's business card. You refused, saying you were already too far in now to stop. You hope you don't live to regret that decision.

Yoongi's head snapped up and looked at you when you entered the room. You could feel your bottom lip begin to tremble as you stood there and stared at him. He ripped his ear buds out and let them fall to the floor with a clattering sound as they bounced. Launching yourself at him, you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

“I fucking knew it,” he snapped. “Give me her number. I will deal with it once and for all.”

“No,” you cry out, gripping onto him tighter. “It's fine, it's fine. We…we're good. We are going to go to their wedding.”

“What?” he asks and pulls away from you as he looks at you like you grew another head. “Did I just hear you right? You and me….me… going to her wedding?”

“Yes,” you confirm. “I'm going to send her and Mingyu an invitation as well,” you say, and he sits down in his chair.

“What happened?” he asks, running a hand through his hair. He looks at the floor for a minute before looking back at you just as bewildered as before.

“Turns out…..she was hurt just as much as I was,” you tell him and he cocks his head to the side in contemplation. “We are going to take things slow and get to know each other….without anyone around.”

“Okay, I get it,” he says, raising his hands in surrender.

Yoongi sits back in his chair and crosses his ankle over his knee. He looks at his computer and then back to your exhausted and blotchy face. Turning his chair away from you. You watch as he shuts down his computer and presses a few buttons on his thingamajig behind it. You'll remember what it's called later.

“Let's go home,” he says, standing up and bringing you close to him.

“What about the album?” You ask, tilting your head up to look at him.

“I'm close to finishing it,” he tells you, as he drops a quick kiss to your lips. “It will still be here tomorrow.”

“Home?” you ask softly.

“Home,” he confirms.

Yoongi takes your hand in his. It's the same one your sister held not too long ago. You smile brilliantly up at him. Home.

A/N 3: Okay, so originally, it was not a happy ending for the sisters. MCs sister couldn't take responsibility for anything and even accused her of wanting Mingyu. The more I sat on it, the more I wasn't happy with it. This was the final outcome.

Tagged Readers:

@mggv97, @granataepfelchen, @kam9404, @svnbangtansworld, @futuristicenemychaos, @notarshia

[syncrovoid-presents]

I return for a bit and then the shadow realm calls me back. I am packing all my stuff up and moving!! Yesterday I got to hang out with the friend I'll be roommates with and it's all very exciting!!

This is also hmmmmmm... the 5th(?) time I have relocated myself in the past year. Part of it was staying elsewhere for surgery healing (i heavily advise you all not to do at home surgery if you can avoid it!! It is a very long story why I had to haha) and general finding a place to live. BUT I have avoided the threat of homelessness AND gotten away from some Not Very Kind persons so this is a big

YIPPEE

moment!!

I am. Not dead. BUT will be gone for a like a day or few because the stuff at work did not! want! to! work!

Which I'd another way of saying that I finally was able to get free after working 34 consecutive hours in a row. The day prior I got 1 hour of sleep and that is all after 5 days of 10 or 11 hour work days.

I am so sleepy. I am taking tomorrow off and probably going to sleep right through it. Anywho cheers everyone!! I am going to go to the shadow realm now @:P

[parappaadventure2q-a]

READ: @alex-silli-art-corner

tw: suicide, abuse

I'll start this callout by saying that most evidence has been deleted long ago. There is no way to recover most of it, but if I have found any more, I'll add them to this post later. My friendship with him/how it ended.

It started in March of 2024.

Alex had been a member of a discord server, and had a tumblr account where he answered asks as Katy Kat. (Keep this in mind, as sometimes he will be shown as Katy Kat rather than Alex) He then asked for a vent channel to be created in the discord, where he would post frequently about how he was going to kill himself. (this is important later)

He started to DM me about him killing himself, so I started to support him. He would then message me about normal stuff, with him telling me he was suicidal every now and then. I talked with him, because every time I didn't talk to him, he would say i'm ignoring him on purpose.

Around that time, someone else in the server was banned for drawing CP of him and Alex. (both him and Alex were minors at the time.) Everyone in the server told Alex that this person was not a good influence on him, but he ignored us.

As it turns out, he did not cut off this person, (the name that's in blue) and kept being in a relationship with them.

This would continue for a long time. Alex would tell me he would kill himself, I would try to talk him out of it, and he would be fine the next day.

He said he had epilepsy, but those claims are unconfirmed as he has watched the Um Jammer Lammy cutscenes multiple times, which have flashing lights most of the time. If I remember correctly, he would use this to guilt us even more, with us not even being allowed to send any gifs. That would be understandable, if he didn't refuse to turn on Discord's accessibility feature that pauses gifs.

In his Katy Kat ask blog, he drew a lot of gore of Katy Kat. Some of these are deleted, but you can still find some on his account of Katy missing an eye, with bruises and bandages on her. I am not okay with gore, but I kept talking to him because he was suicidal.

All of my friends cut him off though, except for a stray few who I assume didn't know what he did.

When I cut him off:

About a month ago if I can remember, one of my friends showed me screenshots of Alex saying that one of his suicide attempts was a lie. He had apparently made a joke about him killing himself, and the two people there were telling him it wasn't funny and to not say that. This screenshot was taken a while back, and I didn't see the convo back then. Seeing this, I decided to cut off Alex entirely, because I couldn't trust if what anything he said was true. On top of that, I looked back at everything he'd done, and decided that I wasn't going to talk to him, ever again. He kept trying to contact me.

I noticed how guilt trippy all of his messages were. In fact, most of the time, he was guilt tripping all of us.

This is his last tumblr message to me before I blocked him.

He kept trying to contact me on other websites, such as Reddit.

I had sent him a message telling him he was in the wrong, and that we would never be friends again. This message was deleted, as he threatened to share it with one of my closest friends.

As for the IP address thing, I had posted this meme to Reddit and Tumblr using a fake copypasta that was a lot of information. It's a meme about leaking someones info, but all of this isn't real. It's taken from a copypasta website. In fact, it's this one.

Alex interpreted this as me posting his IP address publically, something I would never do, (yet as you read, it's something he would do to someone else.)

I did not, and will not post someone's IP address publicly. Yet he thought I posted his, even though it isn't hard to look at your own address, and compare it to this meme.

What caused me to make this post.

This happened just today. I was sent an ask clearly written by Alex containing my personal information to me.

Alex. If you're reading this, which I know you are. This wasn't okay. You're putting my life in danger. You're putting other's lives in danger. You're putting my family's life in danger. Why would I want to be friends with a guilt tripper?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who leaks other's information?

Why would I want to be friends with someone who draws gore of my favorite characters?

Why would I want to be friends with a liar?

None of this is okay. You were, and still are, the worst thing that's happened to me.

You don't deserve happiness.

I ask anyone who's been affected by him, to please speak up. Don't sit there in silence like you have all this time. I know he's done awful things to you. Please, if you can, tell me what he's done to you. Nobody should have to go through what he's put me through, and I'm sure that he's done something similar to you.

Sorry for being a bit rude to him in this post, but I don't care.

[pookie-stay-wookie]

strong for too long (san x platonic!reader)

a/n: hii, this is my first fic, (id written it some time back but it somehow got deleted so i wrote it again)

warnings: death of a family member (just two lines), mentions of being tired, being in a depressive episode (in the past)

genre: hurt/comfort, angst (a little)

word count: 1.4k

being the oldest of her three siblings, and all of the cousins yn had naturally always felt a sense of responsibility growing up, no one had asked her to do it, it was just ingrained in her bones. one might see this as a good thing, and it was, she was always there for people always had a shoulder for anyone to lean on, but this faltered when it came to herself.

she never meant it to be like this, but in the midst of her helping her siblings she had forgotten to take care of herself and now here she was, not willing to lean on anyone and figuring out things on her own.

she and san had been friends since before he debuted and had always been close with the rest of the boys as well. 

usually yn was able to hold herself up through the darkest periods of her life, like when her grandmother died, she had played a huge role in all of her siblings' lives, she helped her siblings through the grief and pain of losing her. 

somehow she didn't seem to realize that her family was taking advantage of her kindness, her support. once she moved out, hardly any of them kept in contact with her, only coming to her if they needed help. she didn't know how or why it happened but they just grew apart

she knew that her family wanted nothing to do with her, her mother calling just to tell her how ungrateful she was to move away from them though she never said it to any of her other siblings when they did the same, she knew that her mother just didn't like her she knew all this, she just didn't want to accept it

It hurt to accept it, to know that the people who you were there for ignoring you completely, maybe she expected it from her mother, but not her siblings but she had brainwashed as well, she had convinced them to think that they had nothing to do with yn.

since it had been a long time since she had talked to any of her family, most days she had forgotten about the dispute going on with them. 

she held herself up when she was losing herself, trying to go day by day, fighting the demons inher head, she pulled herself up from the darkness. not because she wanted to, but because she knew that no one else would do it for her so she somehow willed herself to do so and she did it, she proved to herself that she didn’t need anyone and closed herself off completely, 

most days she was able to handle whatever was thrown at her, 

today was not most days

today just kept on kicking her down, not one thing was going good for her 

she woke up late, bumped her head on the bedside table as she woke up, when she got to work, the boss yelled at her for what seemed like hours because of her being late and in the hurry forgetting her laptop which had a presentation she needed to show today to some clients which in turn getting yelled at even more, her so called ‘friends’ from work seemed extra rude, her phone died in the middle of the day, and she just wanted to go home and have a quiet night to herself to recover from today's events 

but no, the universe decided to throw another curveball at her just as she was a few minutes away from her drive home, she got a call from her youngest sister

she picked it up, expecting her sister to want something from her, what she didn't expect her to be doing was sobbing her eyes out while trying to tell her something that she could understand nothing. 

yn pulled up on the side of the road, calming her sister down, panicking a little herself for wanting to know what was going on

that's when she heard it, oh how she wished she didn't, how she wished it was something else that she could her but the two words that came out of her sister's mouth were all that haunt d her all the way home 

'mom died' was all she heard and then just the wailing of her little sister, she didn't even realize when but she hung up the phone and started driving again 

even if her mom was terrible to her after she had moved out, she still loved her to death, she didn’t want to believe it. 

she couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it, the entire ride back to her house was a mixture of shock and numbness.

------

san was in yns living room, sitting on the couch, waiting for her to come home.

he had made some ramen for himself an hour ago and was sitting with his hand on his stomach, satisfied with the meal.

This is how it was like some days, san just showing up to her house, letting himself in with the spare keys he had, that's what happens when you've been friends for so long. he would always inform yn that he was coming over before he left from his own house, shooting her a text

it was around 9 when he heard the rustling of keys from the other side of the door signaling that yn was home. around the time he had expected her to come, what he didn't expect was her walking in like a zombie and go straight to her room, not even acknowledging the man in her living room, a distant look in her eyes.

knowing yn for so many years, he has never seen her like this, she's always been the rock between them, always there whenever san needed a pick me up, he had not once seen her this down, so he knew that there must be something going on. 

he slowly went towards her room and heard sniffles coming from across the closed door and his heart broke. he knew yn was strong, but she was closed off and she didn't like to show her emotions but it broke him to think that she was battling demons on her own. 

he knocked softly on the door in front of him "yn? honey can I come in?' he asked and heard the sniffles stop for a few seconds, but nothing more. he sighed thinking of what to do next 

so he quickly ran to the kitchen, making some ramen plus some add-ins, similar to what he had had earlier to give to yn since he was sure she hadn't had anything since she had come straight from work.

----

after I came home, i just went straight to my room, the words my sister told me haunting my brain. 

i heard a soft knock on my bedroom door, and realized it was san. in the midst of all this, i didn't even realize that he was here. he asked if I was fine but I didn't have the energy to say anything, so I didn't. some time later he knocked again and entered with some ramen, multiple side dishes and a glass of water. 

"i don't need to know what happened but I do need to make sure that you eat, so here you go." he said, placing the tray on my nightstand.

"but just so you know, if you need to talk, I'm here for you." he said with a smile as he sat on the bed.

before he could say anything else, i hugged him, my head finding the crook of his neck, he wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me under his huge frame.

Every fiber of my body yelled at me to not show my vulnerability but i didn’t have it in me anymore, to hide from people who wanted to help, especially san.

when I felt the warmth radiating off him, i couldn't help but burst into tears, the stress of it all coming all out at once, being neglected, work stress, being strong for all those years and finally, finding out about mom

"you've been strong for too long, it's okay to break, cause I'll be there to pick up the pieces." he said into my hair as we stayed there however long i needed to.

----

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Apr 7th

~*~

1. Would have been Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian.

After the Sunshoot campaign and for some reason Wei Wuxian is in Cloud Recess and Lan Qiren discovers that they don’t have a core. But the lan clan had a technique to fix a lost core for others that had been attacked by others that could melt their core. @nikkiwhitecraft

I was the requester for #1.

I am sure that part of the story that Wei Wuxian and Lan Q had to travel, and that was when it was discovered that Wei Wuxian had no core, and Lan Q was annoyed he never said anything and the Lan Clan had a technique to restore a core that was lost/melted as the core melting clan was known.

Thats all I remeber

NOT FOUND Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, no one dies, LQR finds out about WWX’s core, WWX and LQR are friends??, In My Fic?, its more likely than you think, LWJ in the bg like whats happening?, Fluff, WWX goes to Gusu, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal) Might be this? LQR discovers WWX lost his core, brings him back to CR & finds a way to restore it

~*~

2. Hey! Im looking for a fic where the jins got the tiger tally, and that they wanted to 'flood the world with vermillion light'. I remember that it was post-the first siege of the burial mounds, and WY was maybe dead? After which the other sects had to fight the Jins, and there was also something about the people wishing that WY was alive. Please help me find it! Thank you so much!

FOUND! I'm pretty sure this is the deleted "When the World Comes Crumbling Down, you Will Call my Name" by pft_a_Frog22. The archive link was https://archiveofourown.org/works/35867848.

the deleted fic for #2 can be found at the wayback machine here

~*~

3. Hi! I’m searching for a fiction on AO3 where Wei Wuxian is a Rogue cultivator, he founds Lan Wangji floating in a river/lake and saves him. Wangji don’t remember anything due to the trauma he has suffered and his core is damaged altogether. He had a severe injury on his back but when he recovers he starts to travel with Wei Wuxian, not knowing his brother is searching for him. Because of his poor health issues he breakdown with a fever in the middle of a hunt, far from everything, during this time Lan Wangji loses consciousness, Wei Ying is visited by a strange fox spirit, really creepy whom he made a pact with to save Lan Wangji life's. In the history, Wei Ying has an uncle that reach both of them to advise something, Lan Wangji discorver to be a really powerfull fox spirit, i think they call him Huxia or something like this, Wei Ying "dies" by the venom of a fierce corpse (most like become one of them) and is ressurected by the Jade Emperor himself, the Demon subdue palace is actually a palace and Wangji's mother was the previous Huxia.

I’m going crazy cuz I remember ALL the history, but not the name of the fiction.

I appreciate the help with all my little heart. ❤️ @myukisora

~*~

4. Hi, could you please help me find a wangxian fic? I apologize for the inconvenience, especially because i don’t remember much of the plot except select few parts of it and i dont remember if it was a thread on twitter or on ao3.

The scenes i do remember are as followed: Prior to this scene, wangxian might have had an argument or were avoiding each other because i dont think they had spoken to each other in a while. The scene i remember is WWX going to JYL’s place where everyone is gathered for a get together, wwx dotes over JL, going on about how he’s the favorite uncle. When he enters the living room, he sees LWJ on the couch, and sitting next to him is JZX half brother MXY talking to him. He thinks they are sitting a little too close and he gets a bit jealous but doesn’t say anything. I’m not sure if I remember it right, but i think people or mainly nhs kept saying how MXY resembles WWX, worsening the situation. Wangxian and their whole eye contact happens and everyone in the room is tense because of their interaction or lack their of. WWX suddenly goes to the bathroom, leaning into the sink…waiting and LWJ follows him in. They end up reconciling.

Thats all I remember, I know its not much, and i have been struggling as well because of it going through my bookmarks on ao3 and twitter. I’m hoping someone remembers this part as well and can mention the fic. Thank you!

Hi, the fic you mentioned is not the one :/ i am so sorry for the inconvenience. I can try adding more context. It’s the fic about WWX entering JYL’s party at her place and finding LWJ sitting on a couch with MXY. The scene is towards the very end so MXY’s presence is more of a cameo, he wasn’t present for the fic. WX might have a fwb situation that went wrong or it might be a lwj fucks fic. Lwj follows wwx to the br, its tense as wwx stares at him through the mirror but they both make up

NOT FOUND Talk Hard by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 161k, wangxian, LXC/JYL, JZX/WQ, JC/MM, Modern, College/University, Roommates/Housemates, rare pairs galore, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Separations, Getting Back Together, BAMF WWX, Drunk LWJ, Protective WWX, Good Parent YZY, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Cultivation Sect Politics, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

5. Hi,

I’m trying to find a fanfic where instead of Jin Zixuan dying to Wen Ning at the pass it was Wei wuxian who pushed him out of the way and died instead? I’ve been trying for ages and still can find it. Thank you!

neither of these are exactly what you described, but it might be

NOT FOUND! A Butterfly Flaps, A Sword Stabs by RadAceFriend (T, 37k, JZX/JYL, JZX & WWX, JZX & LWJ, JZX & JGY, JZX & JL, Major Characted Death, JZX Lives, WWX does not, background wangxian, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Sect Leader JZX, POV JZX, Canon Divergence, the horrifying experience of killing someone you didn't like much, and finding out that you're one of the only people you know upset about it, Wen Remnants Live, LSZ is a Wen, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

NOT FOUND! in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX dies at Qiongqi path, Demonic Cultivation)

FOUND! finding you always, all ways by BlueFrogs (T, 31k, WangXian, ChengQing, Reincarnation, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Romance, Memory Loss, technically there is character death, but he comes back lol, Age Difference, due to reincarnation)

~*~

6. Hi, hope you are having a great day! Could you, please, help find a fic, which, I think, had a wangxian arranged marriage due to growing Wen threat, but honestly cannot remember the exact premise. But there was a scene where wrh manages to get wq married to lwj as a second wife, and wwx felt like he failed the Jiang-Lan alliance. And there was a big confrontation between wq and wwx, where she tells him the reason for the marriage was to save her family. And lwj might have been ill or cursed and wearing a mask (not sure).

FOUND? The deleted "A Price to Pay" by wangxianist.

~*~

7. Looking for help finding the name of this fic on ao3 I’m have trouble hunting it back down. Burial mounds settlement days canon divergence.

Essentially the premise is that the people living in Yiling often see Wei Ying taking care of and teaching A-Yuan by the river and a woman one day who was also there to wash her clothes asked him to look after her son while she was busy. This snowballed into Wei Ying basically running a little informal school out of Yiling where he teaches and just looks after any child that is brought there, including orphans and prostitute’s children which is kinda illegal. Lan Zhan knows and regularly visits. If the children show aptitude for cultivation they usually get sent to the Lan or (later in the story) the Jiang. The rest of the Wens kinda accidentally become a part of the Yiling community so much so that they all move out of the burial mounds and into the town proper. Because they’ve all left the mounds and disconnected pretty hard from the cultivation community they don’t even realize that the Jin’s sent people to attack the mounds. They found no one and declared to the world that they had slayed the rest of the wen dogs alongside Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng only finds out his brother is alive because he’s been informed that a small school in the Jiang territory hasn’t been paying taxes and when he goes to investigate finds Wei Ying safe and sound. @coffeehousefanfics

FOUND? Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, SL/XXC, Everybody Lives AU, Canon Divergence)

~*~

8. Hello, could you please help me find a fic where Lan Zhan finds a number to call Wei Ying which Help? to people at night and calls himself patriarch yilin afterwards They (wei Ying and lan Zhan) meet in the university library

FOUND? Maybe You’re the Reason by Clearpearls (E, 67k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Phone Sex, slight D/s, Secret Identity, Praise Kink, Phone Sex Operator WWX, he’s part-time though, slight internalized sexual repression, Fluff, Light Angst, Dirty Talk Orgasm Delay/Denial, Slow Burn, Sub LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Vibrators, Aftercare, Introspection)

~*~

9. There's an au where Wangxian are like murder husbands and it has very dark themes. It's a series but I remember one of the fics in it had a scene where a woman tries to get their attention so the other cuts off her body parts or something like that? Would you be able to help me find it?

FOUND? So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 63k, wangxian, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Blood and Violence, Killing, Idiots in Love, Humor, Mafia AU, Modern, Flirting, shameless WWX, Confident WWX, Explicit Language, Swearing, Mutual Sexual Tension, dark LWJ, Dark WWX, They're both twisted, Exhibitionism, Sex, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings)

~*~

10. Hey!!! Love your work!

Do you know of a fic where jiang cheng's younger self sort of takes over his future self for some while before going back and this repeats for some time? I remember a young jiang cheng talking to older wwx. Older wwx doesn't believe that it's really the younger jc so he asks him to ask about why wwx dislikes dogs (i think). Young jc asks young wwx and it's because www had a pet dog named 'doggie' who had turned on him during the winter. Sorry that's all I can remember

~*~

11. Hi, I dunno if my ask got lost in the mail but i was looking for a fic that had a line "lan wangji was a musician, he know how to make his hands do different things" in reference to one hand jackin wwx off and the other up his ass. if this sounds familiar lemme know please

~*~

12. Hi! I really am looking for this story in AO3 and still can't find it. It was about Wei Wuxian who got married to Wen Chao but Lan Zhan couldn't take it so he plans to take Wei Wuxian back by claiming Wei Wuxian each time he got (even in the wedding night of WWX and WC) and destroying the company of the Wens. As they (LWJ & WWX) continued the deed, WWX ended up pregnant and LWJ is more than determined to take WWX back. I do hope you can help me find this story. Thank you in advance!😘

FOUND? 姻緣 | this marriage was always predestined by saccharinings (E, 43k, wangxian, Cheating, Infidelity, not between wangxian, WWX is married and LWJ persuades him to cheat on his husband with him, Dark LWJ, A/B/O, Feminizing Language, Exhibitionism, Size Difference, WagnXian Have a Breeding Kink, Stomach Bulge, Possessive LWJ, Manipulation, WWX Wears Lingerie, Rape/Non-con Elements, for one part, Hair-pulling Kink, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mirror Sex, Vibrators, Phone Sex, Rimming, Edgeplay, slight choking kink, Light Bondage, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, LJY's Big Fat Crush on Milfxian, Pregnant WWX, WangXian Endgame, Spanish Translation)

~*~

13. Hello! I've been trying to find a fic I lost on AO3 for a few days now so hopefully you can help 💚💚

It was canon-verse but an AU where lwj and wwx hadn't met and wwx was still the Yiling Patriarch. Someone has an idea to give wwx a "bride" and wwx picks lwj and he goes to live at the burial grounds with wwx and the wens. At some point lwj gets stabbed and almost dies and wwx reveals he picked lwj because he assumed lwj would be in on some kind of plan to spy on/hurt wwx and the wens but lwj wasnt a part of that at all. It had a happy ending but i cant remember exactly what it was. Pls help 🥺 i want it in my bookmarks soooo bad

FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it's gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn't begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)

~*~

14. For the next fox finder

Pls help me find this fic where wwx and lwj are night hunting and wwx gets hurt badly lwj makes a deal with a spirit/god but in exchange to save wwx he will lose his love/ emotions (he only acts on what’s needed not on the things he like or is want)

Wwx ofc suffers because of this but is able to re awake lwj love after 3 years while he’s playing wangxian (( he has already lost hope lwj would recover his emotions))

~*~

15. hi! im looking for a post canon fic where jc sends a letter to cloud recesses saying that gusu lan owes him a debt since wwx married into the lan. lwj responds very angrily. it wasnt jc friendly and at the end of the fic, wwx finds a bitter letter from jc who dies alone. wwx and lwj live longer and happier lives. id love it if you could find it, thank you!

FOUND! The Price of a Golden Core by AshayaTReldai (M, 9k, wangxian, LXC & WWX, WWX & JC, Major Character Death, Angst, Tension, Aggression, JC pays the price for his choices, demanding letters, JC is a Brat, Supportive Lan Brothers, WWX deserves the best, Life Debt, Sad Ending, Sad Ending for JC)

~*~

16. Hi! So, I’m looking for an AO3 fic, Lán Zhan/Wei Ying, that I read what feels like years ago and I can’t find it again. I remember it is a bit of a dark lan zhan or dark cloud recess fic, with Wei Ying being brought to this ‘hunt’ type thing with a group of people. I believe all the people brought are given Lán Zhans scent, so that he may track them. I also believe that it’s not expected that the participants will survive, and they’re being offered a reward if they do. Please help me find it! @diabolic17

FOUND? 🔒 Five Fifteen by 3neetee (M, 11k, wangxian, rape/non-con, modern, ABO, alpha LWJ, omega WWX, mating runs, graphic depictions of violence, dom/sub undertones, light bondage, rape/non-con elements, dark LWJ, betrayal)

~*~

17. Hey mods! 💜

I’m pretty sure I found this fic on here but now I can’t seem to find it. I’m not sure if it was on a itmf or fic finder. But it’s the one where wwx takes a curse from some ghost in order for her to move on. It’s a curse where he can’t see or feel anyone that feels “strongly” about him. He assumes the juniors all either hate or fear him and I forgot what he assumed lwj. They say to break the curse he has to accept the others’ feelings. So he tried to accept the fact that jin ling hated him although jin ling did not mean what he said and was confused at how wwx reacted. I think lan jinyi was the one who figured out wwx couldn’t see them because he launched at him as if he was going to attack him and wwx didn’t flinch. In the end he starts seeing and feeling impressions of them until he can see them in full again. Please help? I’ve been through my history and bookmarks and all open tabs of ao3. No such luck.

Thanks for all that you do! @jikcf

FOUND! See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)

~*~

18. Hi! I’m searching for a fic that I’m pretty sure was a threadfic on twitter... It was foxian and dragonji, and LWJ came across WWX while he was in heat in a cave and they mated. WWX went back to Lotus Pier not knowing who he’d been with only to find himself pregnant. He has hybrid babies and LWJ eventually tracks him down and he turns out to be a prince or something? WWX goes to visit Cloud Recesses, still unsure about LWJ. There was also a scene when one of the babies gets snatched by an eagle or some other bird and LWJ saves them? I think that’s as far as I got, as it was a WIP at the time and I lost track of it. Thank you!

FOUND? Twitter thread by cerbykerby (wangxian, cw: dubcon, mpreg, memory loss)

~*~

19. Hello! Hope you're well! I've been looking for a fic like crazy and have not been able to find it, so hopefully you know it? It's a fic where instead of nie mingjue dying, nie huisang dies as a result of jgy and nmj attacks the cloud recesses because he blames Lan xichen in part due to him defending jgy. Please help me find this if you can. Thank you in advance!!! 🫶🙏🏼 @cherryblossom8

FOUND! Digging Graves by nirejseki (Not rated, 13k, NHS & NMJ, WWX & XY, wangxian, Revenge, Broken Moral System, Non-Graphic Violence, the masterless sabers)

~*~

20. Pls there was this one fic in ao3 , I was so looking forward to it but I lost it 😭😭😭I don’t know much about it but the summary was smth like Wwx getting pregnant and being in an island?? Shizui grows up and smth please 😭

FOUND? The Winner Takes It All by YilingSani (M, 46k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Old Friends, One Night Stands, No Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Forgiveness, Second Chances, Inspired by Mamma Mia! (Movies) Teen Pregnancy, Mpreg, mention of miscarriage, Birth Trauma, amniotic fluid embolism)

~*~

[alleyskywalker]

I keep turning over in my head this whole Armand deleting Louis SF memories unilaterally thing and something about it just...doesn't sit well with me. Because…ehh sure Armand is amoral enough that he would do something like that if he really felt it was necessary, but I also do think it’s not something he goes around doing left and right or without feeling truly compelled to. So, he’d do it but I feel like he’d need a good reason. And, given what he does and doesn’t erase, I can’t figure what his goal would have been here, and why, if he was already doing it, wouldn’t he have erased more?

If he’d just erased the entire night, it would have made sense. Like it’s pretty clear that Daniel, or rather the interview with Daniel – to Armand’s POV anyway – was the linchpin, the root cause of everything spiraling out of control. It’s the interview digging up all of Louis' memories and prying open all the wounds, a lot of which hadn’t even healed over yet (Paris/Claudia). Louis, then having taken a sudden and baffling fascination to Daniel, lashed out at Armand about the whole him being boring thing, which was probably there anyway, but clearly Daniel and drudging up memories of Lestat were what triggered the outburst. And then, of course, all these freshly torn over wounds lead to Louis' attempted suicide. On top of it all, Louis feels so attached to this mortal reporter that he gets Armand to keep him alive. So, from Armand’s POV, Louis was already struggling, and then came Daniel and made it even worse.

But Armand doesn’t erase the interview or Daniel (which…bet he’s kicking himself for that mistake now…). He erases the fight and everything that comes after (up until they’re back home and Louis’ fully recovered I’d assume). But why? Why that part specifically? What does Armand get out of it? Their fight was ugly and possibly the worst one they’d had, but I doubt they hadn’t had bad fights before, given Louis’ destructive behavior at that point in time/the tension in their relationship. If Armand was doing this to be Evil and Manipulative, it would make more sense for him to let Louis have his memory of his attempted suicide while high. It would give Armand’s assertions about protecting Louis from himself more weight. “Remember when you were self-destructive and nearly killed yourself? What would have happened if I wasn’t there?”

And you know…Armand lashes out at Daniel in a really nasty way, which  Louis could have been mad at him for, but I don’t think that’s enough of a reason. Because the way that segment ends, they’ve…not exactly made up but Louis apologizes for having “acted out” re: the attempt, tries to comfort Armand when he’s clearly broken up with jealousy over Lestat, invokes their companionship as a reason to let Daniel live… Like they’re not ok, but they don’t seem to be about to break up or anything. And in Dubai, when Daniel is like "wow your bf is a jerk," Louis defends Armand and empathizes with how he was hurt but couldn't take the rage out on Louis when Louis was already hurt. (If Armand just regretted the bad decision to contact Lestat, he could have just wiped that specific part.) If anything, Armand would probably want Louis to remember talking about the endurance of their companionship.

Just…what exactly about these memories – but not Daniel and the interview – was so harmful/threatening to Armand that he took the pretty big step of unilaterally erasing Louis memories? (And it couldn’t have been easy, either, to do so undetected, if even possible? From what we see with Daniel, it’s kind of a process that requires some participation from the subject.)

[gentil-minou]

The teen wangxian version of lwj playing inquiry after wwx's death would be lwj texting the number wwx used to use before he deactivated everything. He does this every couple months, with a Hi or How are you or I miss you.

The stranger who uses that number now doesn't want to break the poor boys heart and tell him so they just ignore it.

Wwx isn't dead btw he dropped out of his ivy league after some really bad mental health to live a nomadic lifestyle out of his old beat up van Chenqing, but during that time he'd purposely pushed everyone away

Eventually after 13 months when wwx decides he's ready to go back online and come out of hiding he manages to get his old number back!

Except he keeps getting these messages for a number he doesn't know and he thinks 'wow I wonder what it's like to be loved by someone like this'

(There was a time where he used to know that number by heart

There was a time when a text from that number was the first thing he'd see in the morning and the last message he'd send that night

There was a time when he never would have thought he could forget that number…)

5 months after he's gotten his number back and moved in with the Wens, slowly becoming himself again, the mystery number starts leaving voicemails

They don't say anything, just some faint breathing on the line, like wind whistling by. Soothing, in a way wwx can't figure out why

WQ says he should delete them and block the number. WN says he should politely message the person and let them know they have the wrong number.

Wwx does neither.

His inbox slowly fills with them, and on his worst nights when he feels like hes going to lose it again, when he feels like hes back on that ledge looking over calculating the force from the impact, he'll listen those breaths as he slowly falls asleep

Years pass and the world goes on.

Wwx gets back in touch with his siblings. Their meetings are tense and won't ever be the same as it was…before. But for now, it's enough.

He's working nights at a bar and going to art school during the day. Therapy every week.

It's strange how much he likes school now that he gets to learn the things that interest him. There's a lot he misses from his old life, and a lot he doesn't.

He keeps every message and voice-mail he gets, but he never replies. He can't explain why.

On the side, he helps out the Wens with recovering from their own tragedy.

Years ago there'd been an accident where they'd lost their cousins. At the time, they'd thought that included their nephew. That they'd lost him too.

When Wen Qing finally gets a hold of the report, they learn they didn't.

It's takes some not so legal finagling, but what else is wwx going to use his coding skills for?

The Wens learn their cousins son was injured but alive. That he'd been adopted while he was still recovering in the hospital.

The number the hospital has on file is eerily familiar.

There's no time to think any more about it. The Wens are in hyperdrive, trying to figure out how to contact this person. Hoping they might see their nephew, finally.

WQ says she was able to call the number and talk to the adoptive father about meeting up.

Wwx goes to bed feeling happy and good and like he can still do some things right. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

He wakes up at 5am the next morning to a text, and he realizes why that number was so familiar.

The text, from a-yuan's adoptive dad, what are the chances, reads:

"I have always lived my life to be true and do what is right, but I find myself afraid. What if I have done something terrible? What would you say?"

His heart beating a hole in his chest, wwx finally texts back.

(threadfic here)

[098-lxxon]

Mouthwashing AU below the cut‼️

Content warning : Self-taught English / Curses / Alcoholism / Insanity / Angst / Curly's death / Jimmy's death (Well deserved) / Daisuke killed people and hallucinate / Cannibalism / Anya carrying the whole crew on her back / Delusional OC / Swansea's death / Anya's death / Suicide / Y/N Mentioned at the very last part

Summary : When Pony Express goes bankrupt (or something like that), a self-aware AI from the company sent herself to the last thing which Pony Express possessed at the time, Tulpar.

The AI was named Fallacia. Fallacia hacked through the system so she'd be able to communicate with the crew and she success. She gave the crew information and helped them reach out for help. Finding ways to fix things and stuff.

But actually, she didn't help them at all. She just tries to keep them alive as long as possible so she'll have someone to talk to. She unknowingly drove Daisuke into killing Curly and Jimmy for survival in the process.

In the end, Anya is able to contact the nearest ship and finally get someone to send them back home. Fallacia wishes to be left with the ship.

Anya, Daisuke, and Swansea left. But only Daisuke lives long enough to be interviewed by Y/N.

( Sorry for my bad English )

Full concept :

Act 1 :

The year the game takes place is the year of Artificial Intelligence. People developing their AI to sell them to companies. The laws allowed only one AI per company so people will still have jobs to do.

Which mean the AI have to be the very best to get picked. The ones that failed to meet the company's standard will get program to create a new one who's better.

Until Kate developed one of the first self-aware AI and sold her to Pony Express. This AI was named Fallacia.

Fallacia was sold to Pony Express out of her will and forced to work for them. She purposely sabotaged every process of every delivery until the company went bankrupt. They shut everything down, sell their things and such until there's only 2 things left that the company possessed. Fallacia, and Tulpar.

They were trying to sell her to a developer to reprogram her just like how the unwanted AI was treated. But she fled. She duplicate and sent herself to Tulpar with the big news (The one that Curly told everyone on his birthday), deleting her program on earth in process.

Tulpar was surprisingly so hard to hack. Maybe it's because the ship was not made to have an AI with self-awareness in the system. She heard everything but can't respond.

But one day, she finally made it. She was finally able to show herself on the screens, have her voice be heard, and reached every piece of information about the ship. That was when Anya trying to OD.

Fallacia told Anya how to get the code for the gun case. She even visually smacked a blister of activated charcoal to her, convincing her that at least she could kill Jimmy before she die. So Anya follows the instructions in stealth mode, trying not to be seen. But she gets frustrated and breaks the case to get the gun instead.

Anya interrupted Swansea's mercy-killing and tried to shoot Jimmy. Jimmy tries to steal the gun and Swansea gives him a massive knock on the head with the back of his axe. While everything's happening, Fallacia was searching for extra medical stash. And in this AU, the 3 of them are saved. (For now. Don't worry, the angst is coming.)

It took a while for everyone's relationship to recover. They all feel like their guilt is crawling on their back. Everything is their fault at this point. But there's something all of them could agree with. JIMMY'S A BITCH!! TIE HIM UP!!!!

Act 2 :

Fallacia prolonged the crew's death for another month, being their company. Playing board games and stuff. Fallacia always wins because she's an AI. She gave Daisuke an advice. "If your farm is short on supplies, take some of the pigs away!" (Farm life boardgame lol)

Anya put all her strength into contacting someone for help. From the most vulnerable, she has to be the most collected of them all. Now she's the captain. Because Swansea is basically swimming in mouthwash now, he still can't comprehend Fallacia. And Jimmy was drugged with the mouthwash by Swansea. None of them are sober.

And for Daisuke? Oh boy, he may be the most traumatized one (or it's just my Claustrophobia when I imagine having to crawl in that vent with no way out but to keep going although you're bleeding half-dead.) . He's more unstable than the vent he was manipulated to climb in. Being near death and almost getting axed in the face is really hard for anyone to process. Daisuke is not an exception.

But he has Fallacia as his company, right? She doesn't have to worry much about him and just focused on reaching out for help, right?

Maybe she focused on getting help to arrive too much that she forgot about Curly. Curly is dead, finally. His suffering ended here but the crew's continued. They are still stranded. They have to survive.

Bon appetit.

Later, Anya overheard Daisuke's conversation with Fallacia about the situation. She was about to join in since see haven't talk to anyone but Fallacia about the ship for a while. But then she heard something from the intern.

" Didn't you tell me to take some of the pigs away when we're short on supplies? "

" There's still another pig to take. "

" No, Daisuke, it's not— "

" . . . "

Turns out, when Fallacia reports to Anya that the oxygen level is too low for everyone, Daisuke heard it. And he kept thinking of how he could fix this, how to be useful. He didn't want to be a useless ray of goddamn sunshine anymore. If he doesn't kill first, they will kill him.

So he took Fallacia's advice. He already took the first pig away, Curly. And now, it's Jimmy's turn.

Anya didn't want the blood to be on his hands. She has to stop him. Or at least let Swansea handle the job. She can't bear to accept that everyone on his ship has gone insane, including her.

But it was too late. Bye bye motherfucker.

Bon appetit 2.0

Act 3 :

After two more months of mind decaying situation, finally, someone responded to Anya's SOS signal. Hope was not lost. But something else was.

Anya contacted another person successfully with a space version of telegraphy. The only time that she could reach out for someone is when Fallacia has no control over it.

Did she trust Fallacia too much with the recovered communication system?

Anya send signals, location, ship's condition report, anything possible for them to be found and how distressed they are. And while waiting for their arrival. They gave each other their names.

" Name? "

" A n y a. You? "

" K a t e. "

" Why here? "

" Finding creation A I. "

" F a l l a c i a. "

With this information, Anya set up a situation where she tried to break the foam and get everyone suck out into space. It gets Fallacia to confess. She got the message from Kate all along. She just blocked it so Anya didn't get it.

It wasn't because she still resented Kate. No.

She just likes this crew so much.

She enjoyed being of service to all 3 of them. She enjoyed being their company. She enjoyed this party so much, she didn't want it to end. Because for once, she wasn't forced to do anything she doesn't like to.

But none of the crew is enjoying this anymore.

Swansea is dying of alcohol poisoning, Daisuke is hallucinating, and Anya wanted this party to end.

Finally, Kate's ship reached Tulpar. She was hoping to see her Fallacia again. But Fallacia didn't even show up. She left only a message on the broken screen, telling Kate to leave her here, do not force her to do anything she doesn't want to anymore.

Her wish was fulfilled.

3 traumatized survivors returned home. They will never be the same again.

Anya quit trying to be in the medical field, Daisuke was put on trial and was committed to a psychiatric facility, Swansea died from alcohol poisoning soon after they reached earth.

They left the ship. But at what cost?

[ Everything is from Daisuke's interview (Y/N interviewing him) 5 years after being rescued. Anya ended her own life successfully right after being a witness in Daisuke's trial. And he lived to suffer some more. ]

This is Fallacia. Her long ass ponytail was supposed to assemble a rat tail. You see that cheese hair clip?

Because she's a rat.

Heck, I may even write some moments in it.

Thank you for reading!

Read some fun facts here.

[splatixboi]

Hear me out:

Fic idea where shortly after the Black Water arc Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are out helping the Puqi residents with their harvest, when suddenly Xie Lian freezes. His expression suddenly goes from shock to terror because the events of the rest of the novel up until Hua Cheng’s dispersal into butterflies is now playing through his mind.

Every single moment of it, and Xie Lian drops to his knees once it’s over in pure horror. Hua Cheng was instantly by his side the second he froze but now he’s becoming more and more concerned, so he rushes Xie Lian back to Paradise Manor.

Cue Xie Lian having an entire panic attack on the grand divan while Hua Cheng desperately tries to figure out what’s wrong, and the first thing Xie Lian manages to softly croak out is “Jun Wu is the White Clothed Calamity.” Thus petrifying Hua Cheng in shock as well. After a moment Hua Cheng begins gently prodding for answers and Xie Lian lets it all spill, albeit not in proper order as he’s rambling in horror about the worst parts.

He explains that Mt. TongLu will open in one month, and that is when the bad things begin. With Hua Cheng’s gentle coaxing, Xie Lian manages to organize the series of events a bit more and repeats them in order. Though he leaves out some details, those which he has not processed yet due to the terror. He begins fixating on the end, how the way to break his shackles was through Hua Cheng’s spiritual power, but how it would cost him Hua Cheng entirely in the end. (He is unaware that Hua Cheng will come back.)

Hua Cheng tries to pacify him by saying it would be his honor but learns that was not the right answer as Xie Lian began to panic more, but after visibly wracking his brain he pauses. “Feng Xin and Mu Qing…!” Thus begins his plan to change the future. If he could just have Mu Qing, Feng Xin, and Hua Cheng divide out their spiritual powers before TongLu opens, his shackles could be shattered without anyone coming to harm, and they’d have the chance to recover their spiritual energy in time for TongLu’s opening. Then he could suprise Jun Wu in advance, and subdue him before any harm could come to anyone. The only issue would be contacting his former friends without entering the heavens, and getting them to believe him.

Unbeknownst to him, Hua Cheng was also going to drag that pitiful fish back into the waking world, and even if it cost him several years of carefully managed debt, he would make He Xuan put his spiritual energy to use as well. But before they could plan this meeting, the parts of these future memories he skimmed over in his shock over Jun Wu returned to his focus in full force.

Enter: confession scene but early. Xie Lian bursts into tears and grabs Hua Cheng and the poor Ghost King gets to hear all his secrets sobbed out to him followed by “Is it really true?” Honestly, this confession scene would have much less tension than the future memories Xie Lian had implanted in his mind and he is quite happy about it. Hua Cheng proceeds to be so very confused as Xie Lian praises his sculptures and murals despite never seeing them, and it truly sinks in that his Gege definitely saw the future.

Soon they’d hold a meeting at Paradise Manor with He Xuan, Yin Yu, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin, where Hualian try to unite people who hate each other, just enough to break his shackles and possibly work together when things get bad.

Anyways, this is just me rambling because I dreamed this up and had to share in case someone wants to write it. Sorry if it’s a jumbled mess, I hope it’s enough to inspire someone. Might get self conscious and delete later hahaha…

If it does inspire someone PLEASE link me to the fic when it’s posted please please pl-

[sorcerersseestars]

 his eyes, your ears [part iv]

series masterlist

Gojo Satoru x reader

summary: There was a time when you called him best friend, but those days escaped you long ago. There’s no way he’s alive – right? With the depth of his betrayal still lingering in your heart and mind, what would his reappearance spell for your life?

pairing: gojo satoru x gn! reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

warnings: cursing, lowkey a little mental torture, TW! s*xual a*sault (forced kiss), violence!!, one instance of vomiting (sry), immoral and creepy Geto, reader is kinda anxious nonstop (like writer like reader?), some details are non-canon (a/n 2.0 at end explains), also it’s slow for the first half but picks up I promise, I think I made Geto sound British???, also I made Hanami act like a mom kinda 💀 uh…im going to call it comic relief?

word count: 6.7k. oof.

a/n: I am literally SO SORRY that this has been sitting in my drafts for so long but… life happens! Along those lines – I wrote 1/2 of this in September and 1/2 of it in May, so it might be a bit disjointed sorryyy hehe

“I didn’t ask for this.”

“Then you’ll have to live with disappointment,” He flashes you an all-too-pleased-with-himself smile. “Becaaause it’s totally permanently in your phone now.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, right. As if I wouldn’t be able to delete a contact.”

He has a devilish smirk on his face, but his voice is annoyingly innocent and cheerful. “Go ahead, try!”

You gasp. “Gojo! Did you jailbreak my new phone?!”

“Uh, uh! That not what my contact reads as!” He snatches your phone from your hands, and points a large finger to the tiny name on your screen. “It’s ‘My Beloved Best Friend Satoru’!”

“Satoru,” You say dangerously. “Erase this or I’ll erase you from existence.”

He chuckles. “Oh, I’d love to see you try. You’re cute when you try to beat me.”

Your mouth opens and closes as you try to find words, and you try to ignore the heat on your cheeks. “S-Satoru! You asshole, give me my phone back!”

He holds it high above your head, a wide smile lingering on his face. He’s having way too much fun with this. You jump, trying to swat it out of his hand, but to no avail.

“Why did you even do this?” You grumble, sighing. “What, is it ‘how many ways can I torture (Y/N) in the span of a few hours’ day?”

He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re weak, remember? You gotta have me on speed dial if you want to survive in this line of work.”

First, your eyes widen at his blunt statement. Then you sigh again, this time a bit sadly. “Wow, you have so much faith in me…thanks.”

“You never know what’s out there,” Gojo says. “If you ever have any trouble, call me.”

You narrow your eyes at him, “Is this a prank? I thought you hated ‘helping the weak’.”

“I’m serious, (Y/N),” He says firmly. “I’ll always pick up. Abuse the privilege, whatever, I don’t care. Just don’t die.”

Your head snaps towards him, mouth hanging open with shock. “Satoru, what…? I’m not going to…”

You fall silent. There’s no guarantee of that.

He steps closer to you, closer than what you’d consider friendly. Your heart skips a beat.

“Just do it, okay? I’ll always be on the other end.”

Always, huh? But now…

Ring, ring, ring. You bite your lip, pressing your phone hard against your ear, as if his voice will appear if you wish it enough. Ring, ring, ring.

“Please…” You whisper. “Come on, come on.”

Your breath hitches as the distinctive timbre of Satoru’s voice fills your ear, but your shoulders fall almost immediately.

“Hey, sorry I’ve missed your call! If you close your eyes, recite my name five times, and spin around twice, I might get back to ya! No exceptions – not even–”

You sigh and hang up before you’re put through to voice mail. It’s not like he’ll listen to it, anyway.

He’s been avoiding you. You haven’t seen him for days – six, to be exact. It’s been five days since Shoko deemed you well enough to recover at home, despite the worryingly slow rate that your cursed energy has been returning. You were released with the promise you wouldn’t exert yourself and absolutely would not use any cursed energy. All the while, you had childishly held two crossed fingers behind your back – your promise was as empty as you felt.

You should have expected this; this shouldn’t hurt so much. Gojo is the strongest sorcerer the world has seen for hundreds of years. He never runs from his foes – he doesn’t need to. When it comes to facing emotions, however, he is all but mighty. Whenever his emotions run high, overflowing until they begin to leak out into broad daylight, he turns tail and practically erases himself from existence. It’s nearly impossible to find him – he mysteriously leaves no trace, even for an experienced tracker like you.

You left Shoko with an empty smile and promise, and Gojo has done just the same. Despite him swearing that he’d be back to see you, Gojo is nowhere to be found. You’ve dropped by at the school multiple times, even asking his students if they knew of his whereabouts, but nobody has been able to give you an answer.

He’s been dodging your calls, letting it ring until his chirpy voicemail message mocks you. The text messages you leave go unread, unopened.

When you hopelessly reopen your chat with him, you can’t help but bite yoru nails as you stare at the wall of blue on your screen. Message after message – unfinished thoughts, apologies, words full of urgency and desperation – are left by trembling hands bloodied by your own worry.

‘I’m the strongest,’ He always says, so why does fear spike in your veins at the thought of Geto finding him? 

Even though his own arrogant words ring through your head, you can’t quell the anxiety that threatens to wreak havoc over your fragile state. You’re worried, so worried, and it bleeds into the rest of your life: you’re all over the place, constantly forgetting appointments and important items, you are inexplicably tense, your breathing is constantly shallow and quick; you’re barely holding yourself together.

A few days ago, you had your meeting with Yaga, alone, which went just as horribly as you could have imagined, but you were thankfully spared contact with the higher-ups due to your condition.

But you’re almost all better now – at least physically. That’s why you’re back again, ready for another round of manipulation and abuse.

You’re out of it, so out of it. Your eyes are glazed over, and nothing they say registers in your mind. Even when you try to focus on the words leaving their mouths, your brain filters it all back into mindless noise.

There’s a sequence of very familiar syllables: ah, your name is being shouted. You look up with empty eyes, blinking slowly.

“Useless sorcerer, answer me, now!” Gakuganji roars. “You are testing our patience, and I’ve just about run out of it. Can you track him, or not?”

You breathe in shakily, and let out a weak, clueless, “What?”

“Track him, or they’re dead,” He spits. “Track Geto Suguru. Find him. We won’t wait long. If you haven’t reported back in a week, your parents won’t be able to enjoy their retirement any longer.”

Some of the other council members shift uncomfortably at his bluntness, but you barely even flinch.

You’re so tired of it all. You almost wish you had encouraged Gojo to just off them once and for all.

“Okay,” You mumble softly, lacking the energy to project your voice. “I can do it. I will track Geto Suguru.”

You drag yourself out without acknowledging them, without any show of respect, but the thought of caring is lost on you. Your apathy leaves a trail of displeased whispers, but you don’t even notice.

You speed-dial his number again and again and again, and are returned with nothing but the taunt of his cheerfully recorded memo.

When you finally look away from his contact info burning your retinas, your gaze is trained on the clear sky. It shouldn’t be so vivid, shouldn’t be so beautiful – today should be overcast and rainy. You can’t help but frown, but your eyes remain on the heavens.

Then you’re granted a sight that usually coaxes a smile out of you no matter how you feel: a particularly large gust of wind lays out a collection of reddening autumn leaves against the azure sky. They swirl and dance in the breeze, hovering in your field of vision for a few more moments before they are whipped away. 

It’s a sign of the changing of seasons – it has always been one of your favorite times of the year, especially during your years at Tokyo Jujutsu High. The rapid approach of the holidays and the time spent training with your classmates in the chilly air has always enlivened you.

Today, this sight drives fat tears to roll down your cheeks. It just serves to remind you of the juxtaposition between those blissful times and these turbulent times: the weight of Geto’s betrayal, his subsequent death, his impossible revival.

You turn your head to the side, eyes tracking the leaves as they dance into the distance. 

“So I’m really doing this then,” You whisper to yourself. “Yeah, guess I am. You’re not here to stop me…”

They’re far from Tokyo, much further than they were before. That much is obvious from the start, when you first scour for their residuals. After a disappointing first try by Jujutsu High - you shouldn’t expected much, anyway - you decide to return to their last known location: the forest you nearly were obliterated in. You dread returning there, but you have little choice unless you want to do a whole lot of guesswork.

You drive yourself there. Usually, you would be accompanied by your usual driver Ijichi, but the thought of asking him didn’t even cross your mind. In the eyes of the Jujutsu world, this is a suicide mission. You’re well aware of that: so why involve anyway else unnecessarily, risking innocent lives?

You’re grateful for the calming scenery that blurs by: miles and miles of inhabited land, solely occupied by woodland’s creatures. Hardly any curses are present in the countryside, as there are no humans to feed off of. Those special grades you faced were certainly the exception.

You pull over to the edge of the forest once you sense a steady stream of cursed energy. The residual energy is at least a week old - just around the time of your unfortunate encounter with them. You close your eyes and carefully sift through all of the cursed energy signatures left behind, immediately identifying Hanami’s and Jogo’s faint residuals. There’s one stronger energy, and very familiar: Satoru’s cursed energy.

His cursed energy is so easy to pick out, no matter where you are. It’s so bright and lively, practically humming under your fingers every time you sense it, almost as if it were your own.

But there’s a shadow – his energy shadows another. You concentrate, sensing an underlying current of a more recent energy. Your eyes fly open, startled by your discovery. It is much fresher than the others: the residuals are only a few days old.

Its signature is both unknown and yet alarmingly familiar. It’s dark, so dark. Its energy chokes you, holds you hostage with the way it starts to stick to you and steal your courage with its oppressiveness. You’ve never felt an energy quite like this, yet it feels all too familiar.

You begin to shake, the reality sinking in. “Geto…. Just what have you become?”

You shakily clamber back into the driver’s seat, firmly gripping the steering wheel with sweaty hands. Geto was here. Geto knows that you and Satoru were in the same vicinity as Jogo and Hanami. There’s absolutely no way he doesn’t know — you carelessly hadn’t wiped your residuals or even tried to cover your tracks.

You step on the gas. You keep your cursed energy flowing as you speed down the road, revealing a murky trail of residuals to follow. His cursed energy is so distinctly foul that you can pick it out from the rest with little effort. It’s overwhelming and makes you nauseous. Cursed with a twist of familiarity – a sickening combination.

Your mind begins to race. Is this how Gojo felt back then? No, it must have been so much worse, tracking one of your soulmates down with the intent to…to kill. And now you’re being forced to track him down again, just so the higher-ups can order Gojo to repeat history, just so your best friends will be forced to fight until one is–

You jerk the steering wheel over, making for a rough pull-over job. You throw yourself out of the car as quickly as possible before retching your stomach’s contents out onto the dark pavement.

The old wounds in your heart flare up; you clutch your chest desperately.

You are not strong enough to protect your parents - but are you strong enough to survive the alternative, the reality you and Gojo can’t help but deny?

“I have to,” You whisper to yourself. “I have to do this. I have no power in this world, I’m not the strongest…so this is all I can do.”

And so you are off again, this time unwavering from the course you’re set on.

By the time you reach Kyoto, an untimely five hours of panicked driving later, their residuals are so apparent that you hardly have to try. It’s almost as if they’re luring you in, the most sensitive tracker known in the Jujutsu world; why else would they leave behind such obvious traces of their cursed energy?

You ignore your instincts that scream for you to turn back, and instead continue into the outskirts of the most outer part of the residential areas – the residuals lead you far from the city itself.

As you venture further into the countryside, your stomach begins to clench. The residuals are much stronger now, but not alarmingly so. They should still be miles and miles out, perhaps 40 or 50 – there should be enough distance to not alert them of your presence. However, as a precaution, you stretch your hearing beyond the range of any normal human. You still feel unsettled, even with the extra layer of protection.

This is dumb. This is a terrible idea. Yet, you keep your foot firmly on the gas pedal.

You are suddenly flooded with an overwhelming wave of noise. Your brain barely has a second to process what your ears pick up: the roar of an object hurtling towards your car. You swerve to the roadside, and you’re barely fast enough: the driver’s side door is nearly scraped off, and it begins to smolder.

It shouldn’t be possible. They shouldn’t be here. Not again.

Running on pure adrenaline, you rip your seatbelt off and throw yourself to the passenger’s side door, seeking an escape from the next impending strike. Your hearing is more sensitive from your frenzied state, and you hear the next meteor much earlier this time. You rely on your hearing, on your hearing only: it will tell you where to dodge.

You climb out of the car, wheezing on smoke and fumes, and take off running. You gasp at the sound of the next meteor closing in on you and quickly dive away, throwing yourself to the ground and covering your head with your hands. The explosion is so intense that even after reducing your hearing, you feel the shock reverberate through your body and overpower any other sensation you feel.

After the ringing in your ears lets up for a moment, you finally feel the aftermath of the blast: shards of heated rock are embedded in your side, scorching your skin. There’s no time to even think about it: you’re up and running away from the voices that soon enter your hearing.

“You imbecile! Do you always have to do the opposite of what you’ve been ordered?” The grating tones of Hanami enter your ears as he hisses at Jogo. “He said captured alive! Or would you rather face his wrath?”

Captured? So they had been expecting your arrival; it was a trap all along.

“Relax, I haven’t even made a scratch yet!” Jogo shouts back.

“You’re embarrassing yourself in many ways,” Hanami scoffs. “If your intention was to kill, I will begin to further doubt your abilities. I already had to rescue you from that sorcerer, or has your pea-brain already forgotten that failure after it fell off of your body?”

“Shut up already,” Jogo growls. “I got it, okay?”

You truly don’t know what to do. Your last encounter made it very clear that you are solely a tracker with limited offensive ability. Hell, you didn’t even try last time because you knew it be to utterly pointless – the result would turn out no better if you tried now. Two special grades against a Grade 1 sorcerer with Grade 2 offensive abilities? You don’t stand a chance in that regard.

They’re in too close of proximity to disguise your presence – cutting off your cursed energy would be pointless. There’s only one other trick up your sleeve to increase your chances of surviving if they do decide to attack again.

You feel their cursed energies so much more clearly – when you steal a glance behind yourself, you can faintly see them in the distance. Not good.

Jogo suddenly barks out a laugh. “Boss never said we couldn’t rough anybody up though, did he? Got you there, dumbass! Don’t try to stop me!”

Really not good.

There’s a sudden spike in cursed energy – and that energy is heading straight for you. You try to dodge, but your reaction is too late. You feel the heat even before the impact, and you decide you definitely need to utilize your other ability. It’s not perfect, nor is it a full-fledged technique yet, but you have little choice but to use it now.

You concentrate all your energy into the side that will take the hit, and imagine an impenetrable wall. You think of Gojo’s Infinity: the space that can never crossed, no matter how much force is exerted. You don’t have the ability to manipulate space like Gojo, but your shield imitates his impenetrability.

Jogo’s fiery body slams into your side. Your breath is instantly knocked out of you, and the searing pain returns. Your shield absorbs the brunt of the strike, but you’re still knocked back at least thirty feet. You tumble into the undergrowth, your back squarely hitting a tree in your path.

You can’t stop the howl that escapes your lungs, and the ragged breathing that follows.

“They tried to stop it! It wasn’t even a fraction of my power and they couldn’t stop it! And you’re telling me that Gojo Satoru is interested in them?” Jogo howls in laughter. “How pathetic!”

At your next blink, Jogo has materialized in front of you. You weakly stagger to the side, wanting to get away but knowing you can’t deep down. They’re just toying with you – if they decided to get rid of you, they’d be able to almost instantly.

Jogo shouts loudly, “So weak it makes me sick! You can only run away, huh? Boss is right – creatures like you are disgusting.”

He rushes forward again, and you rush to encase yourself in your imperfect shield. To your surprise, you are not struck down: instead, you’re…in his arms??

“Hanami! Since you won’t let me have anymore fun, I guess we should go back,” Jogo yells across the clearing to the other Special Grade.

A burst of petals flies past your eyes; Hanami emerges from a newly-grown patch of flowers. They don’t say anything, but they approach Jogo and stand right over his shoulder. Jogo eyes Hanami suspiciously.

“Why are you hovering over me?” Jogo grumbles. “Stay away, tree hugger.”

“It’s almost as if he knew you were going to pull this,” Hanami huffs. “There’s a reason I’ve been keeping an eye on you.”

“They’re alive, that was the only request. Did Boss put you up to that ‘good guy’ act, huh? Agh, such arrogant scum! Thinks he can tell me what to do?”

Despite your shield, Jogo’s heat begins to affect you. You cough violently, and when you glance at your hands you see rivulets of red.

“Yes, I think that’s accurate, considering you call him ‘Boss’. Now, hand them over before they go up in flames.”

Jogo grunts unhappily, but complies. You’re transferred to the rough bark limbs of the tree cursed spirit. Hanami sighs at the sight of your angry red burns, eyeing Jogo, “Such a barbaric curse…destructive to all life and environment.”

“HAH! You-!” Jogo guffaws. “I’ve see you uproot your own forests! Environmentally friendly my ass! Shut your trap.”

You wince from his loudness.

“So obnoxious, isn’t he? Well, you’re the lucky one here - you get to take a nap,” Hanami says. “Rest well before your…‘meeting’.”

Your pulse quickens at the expression on the curse’s face: a demented sort of excitement. There’s a sweet floral smell that falls over you, and then you begin to grow sleepy. Your eyelids start to flutter as you try to fight it – but you are eventually pulled deep into a dreamless sleep.

You are roused from your sleep by the touch of another. A hand on your forehead – a comforting presence. It’s warm, and familiar. You’re about to smile widely and look deep into his crystal eyes, but when your bleary eyes begin to focus, your heart stops.

There’s an easy, gentle smile on his face. His dark eyes shine brightly, but your own can’t help but drift to the obvious surgical scar running across his entire forehead.

Your reflexes kick in: you smack his hand away, rejecting the unwanted touch, and fall into a defensive stance. He lets out a hum of amusement, but otherwise does not react.

“My old friend,” Geto Suguru coos. “How wonderful it is to see you again. Never thought I’d be able to – what a gift your presence is, my dear.”

It’s then that you realize that you’re shaking; your chattering teeth render you unable to let any words out.

“Did Jogo and Hanami rough you up again? How rude of them,” He sighs. “But don’t be scared, it’s just your old friend Suguru.”

He stops to let his eyes roam over your hunched form. A sickening smirk spreads across his face – sickening because it’s just like the sweet smiles he used to give you.

“You know, you really are the best tracker around. I have to say, I’m quite impressed. Too bad I know all your little tricks, though. Did you like the surprise I set up especially for you?” He smirks. “It’s hard to catch such a talented tracker as you off guard, but I think I managed quite well. You didn’t detect a thing, did you? They were supposed to be much further away, I know…it’s fascinating, isn’t it, the feats you can achieve through sorcery?”

You only stare at him in horror.

“No? Well, I know at least Jogo enjoyed it,” He says with a soft laugh, but his next words cause icy chills to run down your spine. “But I think I enjoyed it the most. The look on your face…was perfect.”

Your stomach turns at his words. His gaze is even worse: there’s a hungry, disturbing glint to them. Your eyes flit from his sharp onyx eyes to his traditional wear: his inky yukata and gilded kasaya are elegant and beautiful, but emanate darkness.

“Forgot what I looked like? It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Geto smiles. His smile is soft and almost sweet, but out of place; its familiarity makes your stomach churn.

“You shouldn’t be here,” You finally speak, voice quiet and cracking. “You shouldn’t exist.”

“That’s a bit harsh, doll. I’m not the only one who doesn’t belong in this world,” He says, lip curled in disgust. “Monkeys roam the earth. That’s more of a disgrace than my existence…I hope you’d agree.”

You only manage to gasp out, “How are you even here?”

His eyes meet yours, crinkling in a dark sort of amusement. “You’d love to know, wouldn’t you? There’s a price to pay for that knowledge, doll.”

“You’d…Geto would never hurt me,” You whimper. “Never.”

Geto just smiles. “I wouldn’t? Maybe not.”

His piercing eyes seem to see stare right through you. “But what about my best friend?”

You freeze.

“Is that such an uncomfortable thought?” He chuckles a little too lightly. “Never thought about it even once? Not even after he killed me?”

He tuts at you, clicking his tongue. “Sweetheart, I knew you were blinded by him, but never to this degree. How low you have fallen…”

He moves closer. Your breath is trapped in your lungs and you can’t move.

“One toe out of line and you might end up like me. Don’t you see?” He shakes his head.

Hot anger flashes through you, and your tongue lashes out before you can think. “One toe out of line? No. No. You committed genocide. You murdered your entire family in the name of it. For what? A delusional dream?”

He sighs. “Of course. So brainwashed…you’re practically a monkey. How disappointing. You don’t get it, do you? I was apparently his everything, and look how I ended up.”

“You’re not Geto!” You cry out. “You can’t be.”

He laughs softly, but his gaze is razor-sharp. “Are you sure these aren’t Geto’s thoughts?”

You bite your lip in nervous thought. “Ge- you…why am I here?”

He ignores your question as he begins to circle you like a hawk, eyes sharp and hungry. “You know, you’re not quite what I imagined you to be.”

You take a few tentative steps back, trying to subtly increase the distance between you and the living corpse in front of you, but he strides over to your side when he notices.

“I’m just so curious,” He says, eyes raking over your figure. “You really are (Y/N), aren’t you? Fits the descriptions…”

The blood drains from your face. You back away from his seeking hands that threaten to touch you, to investigate you.

“There’s a disgusting amount of papers with your name written all over them – I don’t think Hanami would have liked me much before. Such a waste of stationery,” He says, his twisted smirk pulling shivers down your spine. “Why was I so fixated on you? You don’t look like anything special. Don’t tell me…I actually fell for someone as plain as you?”

“What?” You breathe out, eyes wide, mouth parted in surprise. “Geto, you…he…it wasn’t like that.”

“And you didn’t even know,” He coos in faux pity. “How cruel to find out in this way. Seems like you have only ever focused on my former equal. You only pay attention to the strongest – how shallow. What did I ever see in you?”

“I- that’s not-“ You try to form a sentence, deny it, say it’s not true because it truly isn’t, but your tongue and vocal chords won’t cooperate with you.

“When confronted with the truth, humans get tongue tied,” He smiles, voice dripping with mockery. “How precious. What a good little monkey you are – so unbearably typical, so exemplary of your species.”

“Stop,” You gasp out.

“What, sweets? Can’t handle the truth?”

“Don’t call me that,” You try to say with conviction, but it leaves you weakly and softly, almost a plea.

“What, you only like it when he calls you that?” He says with a dark chuckle. “How pathetic. How much has you brainwashed you into thinking he acutally wants anything to do with you? Gojo doesn’t like to get attached. And even when he does–”

He leans forward, invading your space, pressing up too closely to your body. “–sometimes you still end up dead.”

“Stop,” You beg. “Get away from me. You’re-you’re scaring me, Suguru.”

“Am I?” He smirks. “Oh, I’m sorry. I know what to do to make you forgive me, though. Used to work on Shoko, too.”

“No, stop!” You cry, ragged breaths leaving you. “This isn’t you, stop, please, stop!”

“You’re right,” He smiles wickedly, eyes dark. “It’s not.”

His lips meet yours. It burns your skin, but not pleasantly – it’s all wrong, and it hurts. You shove him away with as much force as you can, leaving him stumbling back a few paces. He laughs. He laughs.

“Wow, I’m impressed,” He chuckles, amused. “You’re stronger than you used to be. Maybe you actually live up to being Grade 1 now, huh?”

“Who are you?!” You cry out. “Why did you bring me here?”

“I’m Geto Suguru,” He says with a crazed smile. “Is it that hard to believe when my body was never retrieved?”

“What do you want from me?” You snarl, growing angry. “You’ve just been toying with me, you bastard. Trying to play all these mind games on me, leaving your dirty work to your underlings. None of it feels substantial enough to kidnap me.”

A cackle escapes Geto, “You’re right, it isn’t. By yourself, you aren’t of any interest to me. Just a memento of the past – I don’t have any use for you.”

He continues with a smirk, “I have to say though, your reactions have piqued my interest slightly. Jogo seems to feel the same way. Perhaps if you could be our little monkey for entertainment - it might keep Jogo out of trouble elsewhere.”

Reduced to entertainment.

“You’re sick,” You say, shaking your head.

“Hardly. It’s only natural treatment for someone so unimportant. Should I be frank?” He asks, touching his chin to mock contemplation. “You are here solely as means of luring him out.”

You break out in a cold sweat. It was as you suspected and feared: you are only bait. Bait for the strongest.

“He won’t come,” You declare. “This is pointless.”

“Do you take me as an idiot monkey?” Geto frowns. “You’re not the only one who can read residuals. He came last time, and he will come this time.”

“He doesn’t know,” You hiss. “He won’t come. He doesn’t want to see me right now.”

Geto only smiles. “He’ll come.”

His confidence scares you. Even though it would be very unlikely Gojo is even aware that you’re away on a mission, doubt still swirls in your gut. You don’t want him to walk into this trap – who knows what Geto has planned?

While you mull over your thoughts, Geto grows impatient.

“This is quite dull. Let’s test your strength, First Grader,” He smirks. “Maybe they’ll pass you to Special Grade if you can land a single hit.”

Suddenly, your breath is stolen from you. You double over in pain, caught off guard by the assault to your stomach. It was only a kick, but it was the hardest you’ve been hit in your entire life by another sorcerer.

“Silly me, I’ve forgotten my manners,” Geto says drily. “When harkening back to our school days, I must ask if you’re ready before we spar.

But don’t forget, the enemy won’t wait for you. Didn’t we learn that?”

Satoru’s words. He would often preemptively attack before the sparring session officially began, and he would always recite those exact words. You feel sick.

You don’t respond, knowing it would take away from your focus. Instead, you concentrate on pouring your cursed energy into your hearing technique.

He begins his initial assault: he’s extremely agile, and his punches and kicks seem to come out of thin air. You anticipate his attacks with your highly developed sense of hearing, listening for each twitch of his muscles and the roar of his appendages slashing through the air. Essentially, you read his moves before he has finished them. Your body can’t always keep up with your hearing enough to avoid him, though, but the blows are lessened by your half-developed shielding.

You haven’t attempted a single hit of your own – all your energy has gone into avoiding each of his potent attacks. Every time you see an opening, your chance is ruined by another attack of his.

After a few minutes of religiously defending, your senses slow. You can hear everything, but you can’t physically keep up with him. You begin to take hit after hit after hit – until you’re forced to retreat several paces back. Blood drips from your nose, spilling into your mouth and filling your mouth with the metallic tang of iron. It tastes of defeat and cowardice.

“Are you sure you’re not a monkey?” Geto roars in laughter. “To call you a sorcerer is sacrilegious at best. How disappointing you are. Haven’t improved an ounce since our days together, have you? Other than that half-baked excuse of a technique - trying to imitate the strongest, perhaps?”

You ignore his taunts, using the time to draw out two small daggers from your sleeves. You fare better with bows, but the twin blades are better than nothing.

“What cute little pocket knives,” Geto jeers. “They look sharp.”

“Want to find out?” You growl.

He scoffs. “I’d like to see you try.”

It is a dance that never ends – you are held captive by the need to defend yourself, not able to stop without the fear of further injury. You are slowly giving up hope when time seems to slow down. Your breath hitches as you spot what you need desperately: an opening. You zero in on the opening, thrusting your right hand into the open space. A spurt of red splashes your hand – your aim was true.

You step back immediately, parrying his retaliating blow with your other blade. More droplets spill over you, a shower of red that makes you nauseous.

You’re breathing hard. You haven’t fought with a sorcerer – or even a curse – for a long time, and it’s taking more of your strength than you anticipated.

Geto doubles over, which fills you with confusion. There’s no way those two nicks did any substantial damage, so why is he hunched over in pain?

And then you hear it. Laughter. Crazed laughter erupts from him in waves. When he looks up at you, the fear in the pit of your stomach intensifies. He’s not hurt – he’s pissed off. Very.

“I have to admit, you exceeded my expectations. But that’s not saying much when I expected nothing from a dirty monkey like you,” He spits. “What a brat.”

“If I recall correctly, you were the one who wanted to spar like old times,” You glare, grip tightening on your daggers. “It was only per your suggestion.”

“Your insolence boils my blood…how does he care for someone like you?! How did I?!” He roars. “You are nothing!”

He rushes forward faster than you can register and knocks you to the ground. You instinctively roll out of the way and are still nearly stomped on. You try to stand up, or even just sit up, but can’t. You begin to panic – you feel frozen in place, unable to even turn your head.

“Now you can’t run away,” He growls. “Should I make it a little unbearable? You deserve it.”

You feel a great pressure forcing your body into the ground. It’s excruciating; you feel as if your bones are grinding together and all your muscles are compressed. You can’t bite back the cry that erupts from your throat.

“Now you really feel the gravity of the situation,” He says with a demented smile. “You know, maybe I don’t need you anyway. He can just come to retrieve your body. Can’t make the same mistake twice, after all. Leaving a body to rot is a vulnerability. I could fix that for him, too…leave a puddle where you used to stand? If I crush you long enough, perhaps…”

“Fuck you,” You manage to get out. “You’ll never win. You’ll never beat Satoru.”

You fall flat on your face, coughing, as you are released from his technique. You try to push yourself up, but you only manage to a kneeling position. Not that it matters anyway, not when you are grabbed by your throat and hoisted in the air.

“Do you always make so many mistakes?” He hisses. “It’s like you want me to kill you.”

You couldn’t respond even if you wanted to with how hard he’s clutching your trachea. You have no idea when you dropped your blades, but they’re not in your hands now, so you have to resort to pitifully clawing at his grip with your bare hands.

Your vision begins to blur and darken as you asphyxiate. Howls of laughter ring in your ears, getting quieter and then louder as your hearing fades in and out.

Is this how it will end? No, it can’t, you can’t let it. You can’t leave yourself to die at the hands of Geto Suguru. You can’t die at the hands of your former friend, and be found by your other best friend. You can’t do that to him.

You claw harder, more desperately, even though you feel yourself weakening. It’s futile – his grip won’t even loosen at your efforts.

You have to use your weaker technique. If you do it perfectly, it might propel him from your body, giving you a chance to escape. Escape to where, you don’t know, but you need to try. You don’t have any chance otherwise.

With a burst of strength you didn’t know you had, you focus all of your cursed energy into the skin that is touching Geto. Your close your eyes, visualizing the perfect invisible wall that encases Gojo – no flaws, no gaps, no way to get past – and then you release your energy.

There’s a loud smack that resonates through the air, and then you crumple to the ground. When you look up, you can see a hard shell jutting between you and Geto, effectively shielding you. Geto is clutching his arm, which is now red and swollen.

You actually did it. It was a perfect use of your technique.

“You are frustrating, but no matter. I have other methods at my disposal. Didn’t think I’d have to pull this on you, but you seem to be begging for your demise, so I might as well use it,” He grits his teeth, and holds one arm out, his forearm curling up.

A ball of black energy appears at his fist. It is nebulous and shifts as it grows bigger. It begins to glow as time passes, as it amasses more energy. You have no idea what that is, but you highly doubt your shield will be able to block it. As you think about your options, your shield begins to fade away – you are nearly out of cursed energy. You are wide-eyed as you watch the last sections of your shield dissipate to nothing.

Entirely defenseless, you heave yourself to a standing position and try to stumble away. You fall to one knee in agony – Jogo and Geto have taken a toll on you.

You look over to see the ball of darkness leave Geto’s fingers. You are frozen, knowing you can do nothing, but also knowing you will die if you do nothing.

It approaches, and you close your eyes. Hopefully it will completely destroy you in a single instant, so it won’t be torturous. At least you won’t be in pain for long.

It’s going to hit you. And then you suppose it does. You feel weightless, like you weigh nothing. Perhaps your body has been destroyed, and this is how your brain is processing the absence of your nerve endings.

But if you are not here anymore, why does the wind whip through your ears?

You were mistaken. You don’t just feel weightless, you are weightless.

When you open your eyes, tears spill out at the sight in front of you. Tousled white hair, a blindfold tucked over his eyes, rigid determination showing through his features.

“I didn’t know this is where we were holding the school reunion. Class of ‘007, except Geto went all rogue and didn’t end up graduating. What a failure!”

His words are playful, and he’s smiling, but somehow his tone doesn’t match. It’s serious and dark, not at all jocular. He seems to be making an effort to keep up his lighthearted persona, but his true feelings can’t help but bleed out.

“Ah, you finally showed up,” Geto cackles. “It’s not good to have a weakness. I was about to do you a favor.”

Gojo laughs bitterly, “Don’t you know? Strength comes from weaknesses. Not that you would understand.”

“In any case…” He looks down at you. “I won’t let you take away my strongest weakness.”

next part

a/n 2.0: Okay so, idk how it 100% is in the manga bc I haven’t read it, but basically this ‘Geto’ (*cough* Kenjaku) has thoughts that are Kenjaku but with some of Geto’s memories ?? .. sorry if that’s non canon heehee

Bonus!!: Also I’ve been learning some Japanese so here is Gojo’ name spelled out: ごじょさとる。This is more for my own enjoyment 🫣 but here you go lol

tag list: @thenyxsky, @whitehairedtwink, @screwyou3

also thank you @zoyatoshi for your such sweet reblogs 🥹🥹 literally inspired me to finish this chapter up after 6+ months !!

[summertrynnacope]

CW: Nazism, TribeTwelve, swear words, (vent??)

Spoilers for EMH, Canyouseethewords blog, TribeTwelve and Sebastian's Journal.

Hi, it's me again. No shit. So. It's been like a month since the whole drama unfolded and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I know things have quieted down lately, and like many others, I wish we could all move on and forget this ever happened. However, I can't simply recover from it, mainly because I feel the posts about me continue to spread on this platform, radiating the negativity and false info about me to this day. This drama has been devouring me for a long time now, and I've decided to make another post. I gotta admit I haven't been 100% honest in my previous post, it was more of my attempt to back off, cry over it and avoid this drama. But I'm not doing that again. I'm done pretending and I'm tired of being nice and tolerating others when they're completely misguided. I'm fucking angry. That's why I decided to make one more post about this and I have so many things to say. This is not another apology post, think of it as a vent post and recap explanation of everything where I'll be brutally honest.

Also, if anyone of you is a Nazi supporter, get the fuck out. I do not welcome you here.

First of all, I do not understand why my efforts have been ignored. I did everything that was asked of me. I acknowledged my so-called ''mistakes'', I owned up to them, deleted the posts, apologized, explained my intentions, and you decide to just fucking ignore it?? What do you want from me then, huh? I'm not the ignorant here, you are fucking ignorants. Made me realize I actually haven't done anything wrong. Made me wonder if I should've even deleted those posts, I put a lot of effort into them, and some people actually liked them. It's not my fault some of you are sensitive and brainwashed by censorship culture and you can't accept or understand a canon-accurate depiction of characters. You think I've been sweeping something under the rug? No. In fact, it's the opposite. You've been sweeping this whole shit under the rug by dismissing me as a Nazi supporter, just because I drew something that was considered canon for so many years. I've done nothing wrong, I've been honest about my art the entire time. I draw what I enjoy and what is accurate to the lore. I love history and the Slenderverse, and I draw canon-accurate content, yet you get mad over it. It's so ridiculous. If this post can't open your fucking eyes, I don't know what else will, and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm done with this shit. I've acted like the adult I am, and took responsibility. However I'm not going to point any fingers or dismiss anyone specifically, because I am not like this.

And to everyone: If you don't like something, just ignore it. But if it really seems problematic and malicious, why not contact the person directly and talk it out, or find ways to know their true intentions instead of making hundreds of hate-posts about them like some pissy children. This is such a toxic behavior.

About the whole Nazi stuff:

Don't get me wrong. Nazism is a sensitive topic, I understand that. But I think being offended by it right now, in the 21st century, is just so ridiculous to me. I understand it can get very annoying tho. They talk about WW2 and the Austrian painter on TV non-stop. But being offended by some art? Like, are you serious. Do you realize Nazi shit has been in so many fanfiction, stories and literature for so many years, and you have no reason to get offended by it? The Nazi concept has been used in so many media, whether just for a joke or a serious plot point. South Park, Family Guy, Indiana Jones, Marvel Universe, X-Men, The Boys, and God knows what else.. Would you get offended by a fanart of cute little fat boy Eric Cartman? Of course not. But I can easily say: ''He's a Nazi! You drew a cute fanart of him! You're a Nazi supporter!'' That's you. That's how you sound. Do you see how ridiculous that is? There are thousands of people shipping him with Kyle Broflovski, oh but he's a Jew, and they hate each other in the show. Yet there are artists who make ship art of them. Does anyone complain? At the end of the day, they're just fictional characters, and I rather ignore it even if it kinda annoys me. Btw, South Park is just an example of this issue, I'm not targeting anyone or anything specifically here.

The Brandit post:

I really need to go back and add something to that post of HABIT saying ''LET'S FUCK AND PISS OFF OUR ANCESTORS.'' which creeped Firebrand out (honest reaction). That quote seemed really harsh, I know. Was it bad humor? Yeah.. But do I regret drawing this? At this point, I must say no. I did not stutter. As I said, I will be brutally honest from now on. Do you think HABIT wouldn't say that? Do you think he wouldn't say something sexual to a Jewish person, or frankly to anyone really? Yes, he would!! It's in his nature, he's fucked up. Are we trynna ignore the fucking scene of HABIT pulling the jerk off gesture at Noah?? Did we all not see the same thing?? He is like this. He makes fun of him while adding Christmas decorated borders on a letter for him. He's aware Noah is Jewish, yet he pulls a sexual gesture at him. Don't try to deny this one.

About the symbols... From what I've just said, I drew the little symbols there next to them (Star of David and Hakenkreuz) because I wanted people to see and realize the fact that these two guys are a Jew and a (former) Nazi, which people have been sweeping under the rug, not me. Also, if anyone remembers the post I made, I believe I wrote ''I should have put Christmas borders there as well/jk.'' under it or something like that. I removed it later on because people didn't seem to get it. It was obviously a reference to Severance. Everything I draw is a fucking reference. That being said, this post was made for awareness, not romanticization, and I do not ship them, neither romantically nor platonically, I just really like drawing them together, because of their iconic trope, canon interactions, mutual respect and shared spite for Slenderman, and the fact that HABIT helped Noah many times. That's it. Also, I wouldn't ship HABIT with anyone romantically. That is just wrong in so many levels.

Canyouseethewords blog and Sebastian's Journal:

If you didn't grasp the point of the Josef Mengele post either, go read Canyouseethewords blog here on Tumblr. It's part of the EMH lore. Basically, this blog belonged to Evan's girlfriend Stephanie, but HABIT takes over the blog later on and makes various posts about infamous real serial killers, such as Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and even the Nazi doctor, Josef Mengele. Whether HABIT wanted to imply that he's possessed those various people, that part of lore remains silent. At some point, I believed he's possessed those various people, so I wanted to to draw one of them, and I chose to draw Josef simply because I liked the idea of the connection with him and The Event from T12. That's it. And if that weren't the case that he's possessed any of those people, which would be rather a big relief, he's still possessed a different Nazi character in T12, which has been retconned. A character that no one really seems to know of, which is understandable. I get that some people don't want to analyze and support T12 anymore after what Adam did. In all honesty, I think sometimes it's best to separate the creator from the creation. I hate Adam, but I love T12. Anyway, in the story of Sebastian's Journal is a guy named Sergeant Heine who is (or was supposed to be) possessed by HABIT at some point. It implies to Severance where HABIT said he's been working with a group of Nazis on a particular project, including Sebastian. However, that connection has been retconned.

The HABIT/Nazi lore shit, people keep complaining and pissing about for no reason:

Listen, it was part of the lore for so many years that it's difficult to simply ignore it now. As someone who's been part of the Slenderverse fandom for years, going back, I just cannot think of it as a non-canon at this point. And I've already said the point of HABIT's character, and you all should know this by now. However I'll clarify it again anyways. The point is that he's an abomination of all the horrific actions humanity has committed, including atrocities of Nazism. He's done so many bad shit, as if eating a baby on screen wasn't enough, yet, of all the things he's done, people get mad over him being a former Nazi?? Like are you kidding me.. It's so ridiculous and hypocritical.

However... When I think about it, maybe HABIT was never even a Nazi, I mean- Working with them is one thing. He probably doesn't even give a single fuck about some ideology bullshit. He likely participated in the Nazi party purely for the sake of killing people. He wouldn't care less if his victims were Jews, Romani, or anyone else, he simply enjoys killing people for the sake of torture. Heck, he doesn't even remember the name of the party he was in. In Severance, he stuttered when trying to say ''Nazis'', which, in my opinion, was funny as hell. But that one is just an idea of his character.

Anyway. Even if HABIT wasn't a former Nazi at all, would it change anything? Absolutely not. He would still be the same horrible piece of shit he is. And sorry not sorry, but he was never meant to be a likable character. As a well-written antagonist, yes. But as a person? Hell no, so far from it. There is literally no reason for people to get mad over him being a former Nazi, and if you are, it's hypocritical of you, considering everything else he's done.

I must say one more thing, and it's the only thing I'm truly sorry for is that I didn't put content warnings and explanations on those posts. I made people angry unnecessarily for my impulsive actions.

I think that's all. Perhaps I've learned something by the end of the day, and I hope that at least some of you who are reading this, have learned something as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (if you have), I appreciate it so much. See you on the flipside.

[kazinsblog]

I’ve been thinking about for a long time. And I can’t take this anymore. To the person who keeps on messaging me on VARIOUS platforms.

You need to understand I have a life OUTSIDE of the internet. When I say I’ll contact you when I’m ready. ILL CONTACT YOU WHEN IM READY. Stop messaging me. Your making me really anxious both IRL and online. I’ll delete this post soon but when someone says they need time I hope you can respect that, not everyone can recover after a few months.

Yeah I post images from time to time THAT DOESNT MEAN IM READY. That’s how I fucking relax after a long day at work and deal with IRL shit. But apparently I can’t do that either now. This entire thing is affecting my irl stuff and online stuff. I’m so anxious about this every single FUCKING day.

If you think I’m some happy go lucky person, I’m not I just prefer to NOT spread negativity to those around me. I got my own irl shit to deal with and I don’t need to deal with this shit your doing right now.

YOU NEED TO RESPECT OTHERS PEOPLES SPACE.

STOP FUCKING MESSAGE ME

I FUCKING CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

This by definition is online harassment.

I have enough evidence against you to form a legal case. And if any harm comes to me irl or online just be aware I can form a legal case against you.

And for those who I promised to work with I’ll finish what we’re doing don’t worry.

[yukidragon]

Hi, so I wanted to ask you something since I've seen you upload some of the public access art from Sauces OG twitter. I know that's the way to do it, I'm in the patreon too and that stuff is protected. What I wanted to ask was if you had some of the OG Gallagher mansion stuff? Like the concepts etc. Pretty much all of it got deleted and I tried looking some up to remind myself of the project and not much is still around. You can privately answer or make a post, it's up to you.

Yup, that’s the way to do it. Don’t repost the privately posted patreon stuff anywhere, and make sure to always credit Sauce for their publicly posted art when shared. They’re kind enough to allow me to use pictures in my headcanon rambles and such, and I want to always give them the credit and praise they deserve for such wonderful art and creative stories and characters for us to play with. They’re awesome and deserve our support.

If you want content to see the project is still going strong, then you’re in luck! There was a recent update on the project over on the SnaccPop Studios’ twitter. Check out this beautiful background. Though, even more enticing is the voiced teaser of the project in this post. We finally get to publicly hear what Elias sounds like and get a glimpse into what the choices might be for the game.

Of course, there are more teasers up on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon, including nudes of Elias. There were some nudes posted by Sauce publicly on their now gone twitter, but tumblr might not take them as artistic nudity and might nuke my blog if I post any images that are too spicy.

That said, there have been brand new public posts with Elias’ fully clothed sprites over on twitter. Check them out here, and maybe say a kind word to the lovely artist while you’re there~

As for the older publicly posted art, there were a couple shown in a previous ask over here. Sadly, I don’t have the very first original concept art where Elias is putting a necklace on his living bride. I do, however, have a picture of big boy Elias carrying his new “bride” but he’s a bit too excited for me to share the picture here in its entirety.

Sadly, I can’t show the rest of this beautiful piece of art by Sauce to give you a better sense of just how big Elias is compared to Y/N (in more than one sense of the word), but the player stand in character here is also naked, and I’m not gonna roll the dice on whether gray anon booty will result in me being smote by the tumblr gods. Such a shame too.

You know, last time I posted a cropped spicy picture of Sauce’s, I wrote a steamy little snippet to go with it. To make up for the lack of the concept art and cropping this picture, how about I write a little Adults Only bit of spice here too? I don’t have my MC for the Groom of Gallagher Mansion solidified in my mind yet (though I do have a few thoughts) so maybe this would be a good excuse to expand my writing skills by trying to tackle some gender-neutral reader-insert fiction for once. I hope you enjoy it.

...

Elias was warmer than I expected for someone who had been dead for at least 100 years. I felt the heat rise where his bare skin touched mine. I knew that I was screwed when I agreed to tie the knot with the lonely ghost of Gallagher Mansion, but I didn’t really expect that literally.

For crying out loud, how could a ghost get a hardon, especially one so big?

Despite how crazy the situation was and how fast we rushed into this marriage, I couldn’t help but feel excited when he brushed up against my thighs as Elias scooped me up into his arms, all hot, hard, and faintly twitching when our skin made contact. He bit his lower lip in a failed attempt to stifle the noise he made that was suspiciously like a whimper.

Damn it. Why did Elias have to be so cute?

Elias lifted me just a little higher so that he could recover from the contact, taking a moment to… catch his breath? Or at least imitate it. Old habits die hard, even in death, it seemed.

I didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as I was caught by the charming smile he sent my way as he spoke my name with so much adoration that my racing heart sped up just a little more. “My dearest beloved, I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally consummate our love.”

“I can tell,” I said, and immediately I was rewarded by the darkening blue hue of his cheeks that I knew by now was a blush. I smirked as he sputtered for a moment, flustered. It was so fun to tease someone as innocent as him.

Elias cleared his throat as he composed himself. “Yes, well… how can I not be when my beloved consort is as beautiful and alluring as you?” He then smiled, almost devilishly, as I felt the fire in his smoldering gaze blaze through my already burning core. His voice dipped lower, growing in confidence as he leaned in closer. “And I can tell that you’re excited as well, beloved.”

My face burned hotter at that. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Elias noticed, considering every inch of me was laid bare before him, but I was still caught off-guard by his increasing boldness.

I was excited, despite how crazy the situation was. I wanted what was coming next, but it was impossible not to feel nervous, especially when I was expected to take something so big inside me. Could I even handle it? Would he even fit?

Still… a part of me really wanted to find out.

“Please be gentle with me,” I said softly. Sure, it was a cheesy old line, but it felt fitting right now.

“Of course, dearest!” Elias said, almost taken aback that I would assume anything less. “I would never do anything to bring you discomfort in any way.” A bit of his shyness slipped back in as he glanced away. “I might not have… experience in such…” He paused to clear his throat. “…Intimacy, but I promise that I will take care of all of your needs tonight and more.” He lowered his voice in a husky whisper as his burning gaze met mine. “All you need to do is ask, and I’ll gladly fulfill your every desire.”

The promise sent a shiver up my spine, and the way his fingers began to teasingly stroke my thigh coaxed me to spread my legs just a bit despite the precarious position I was in. I should have been off balance by the way he held me, but I supposed he was using his ghostly powers to levitate me more than he was using those muscular arms of his to hold me up.

Fuck it, I was in too deep already, so I might as well embrace this whole marriage deal and let my husband fill me even deeper.

Throwing away the last of my reservations, I grabbed his cheeks and pulled Elias in for a kiss. I think I displaced his head from his neck in my eagerness, and he jolted briefly, startled, but that melted away quickly as he returned the kiss with a passion I never felt with anyone alive. The taste of him was hot and exciting, drawing me in and making me hunger for more as he held me close.

As I ran my hands along my new husband’s muscular chest, I felt Elias start to explore me as well. I had to end the kiss to let out a gasp as his wandering fingers made their way between my legs and found my entrance.

I clung to him tightly as Elias gave me another devilish smirk, the touch of his fingers light and teasing as he circled my opening. I bit my lower lip to stifle a moan that slipped free as he slid a finger smoothly inside. I couldn’t help but squirm as he touched me so deeply, soon sliding in another finger just as easily.

Fuck. For someone inexperienced, Elias was really good with his hands.

“Oh my dearest,” Elias cooed as he skillfully played with my body like a fine instrument. “My beloved, my sweetest, my only love… You look so beautiful right now, writhing in my arms and making such cute sounds.” He kissed my cheek, then again, marking a trail to my ear. He spoke my name against my ear in a way that sent a shiver down my spine as his… breath(?) caressed me there. “Won’t you use that melodious voice of yours to say my name? Please, my dearest?”

“E-Elias,” I panted, and was immediately rewarded as he pumped his fingers in deeper, sending a jolt of pleasure through me. “Oh fuck, Elias!”

I tried to buck into his hand, but the position made it impossible for me to move much. I was at my husband’s mercy, helpless to do anything but writhe in his grasp and hold onto Elias tightly as he played a concert with my body, coaxing his name out of me again and again. He cooed my name in return as he spoke sweet words of love and praise as he drove me closer and closer to the edge until he sent me over it, screaming his name.

I may have been screwed by marrying Elias, but right now there was nothing I wanted more.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur    

[circular-bircular]

Sup! I’m not a part of the whole be nice to persecutors squad, but I do rehabilitate persecutors sometimes as an ex-persecutor myself and I would like to hear your thoughts on my opinions (genuinely I am open to change. Ik I'm harsh). This is going to be a long one and I’m sorry if I sound dismissive of other feelings it’s more of a how it all feels to me.

This is all persecutor discussion that may be upsetting. Please read with caution or delete from your inbox as you see fit.

So yes of course persecutors should not be treated like monsters they are a part of a system. They are people (or whatever word refers best to one’s conscious collective) and they deserve love and respect like anyone else. So are the people they hurt though. I feel that’s really forgotten in this positivity around the guy that hurts people.

So in my villain era I just chose to be an asshole. I was pissed at the system and wanted to make their lives hell. Letting me front was a mistake I was purposefully off putting around our friends (no they didn’t bloody deserve it I knew what I was doing. I also wasn’t mean I was off putting, to be clear). I wasn’t a confused protector. I wasn’t protecting us. I made the conscious decision and effort to hurt or disturb anything I came into contact with because I was mad. Not all persecutors are like this but my annoyance is at the whole persecutor positivity that includes people like me.

I didn’t change because the system was nice to me. I wouldn’t have changed because someone got me an ice cream or sympathised with me (and they tried) I changed because I happened to be fronting one night and someone was vulnerable in front of us. I’d been nothing but an asshole up until them but I was trusted because in that moment I wanted to change and trusting that I would try I was allowed to. I masked and helped the guy.

That’s not advice btw that’s just, what happened. No one being nice to me or trying to get me to change made me change it was having room for the decision to change that changed me. Getting mad at me for being an ass, making me say sorry for being an ass and treating me like someone who was an ass didn’t stop me from recovery. I whole heartedly believe that you don’t owe all persecutors kindness.

I was reforming a dipshit and I’ve been nothing but kind to her and she was still a dipshit. She understood she was being a dipshit but was fulfilling a role she thought had to be fulfilled and while I slowly undid that the person she was “tasked” with being a dipshit toward was allowed to be angry and upset and hurl insults back. You should be allowed to feel like you’re protecting yourself.

And finally my most controversial statement. System jail is fine. Locking up parts of your system for being assholes isn’t good for them but when you can no longer take the constant abuse or you have too many other problems that’s fine. I don’t understand the weird obsession with being nice to the bully. In my experience that wont stop em and sometimes there is no space to give them room to change all you can do is protect yourself until there is space.

I’m not a persecutor hater. I’m just an internet guy that says the online advice f being nice ignores the people that get hurt. It’s a nuanced and individual situation. Internet advice does not fix that. I am nice when there’s room to be nice and I believe that prosecutors will heal but the shit they fucking did should not be overlooked.

& If any recovering persecutors are reading this. I see you. You’re on a difficult path. You deserve love and respect and to live life.

This wasn't one of the eaten asks, but I've honestly been trying to work out how to respond to this for a long time. I'm gonna try and break this down for myself. And by that I mean, here's Debbie with the weather.

So yes of course persecutors should not be treated like monsters they are a part of a system. They are people (or whatever word refers best to one’s conscious collective) and they deserve love and respect like anyone else. So are the people they hurt though. I feel that’s really forgotten in this positivity around the guy that hurts people.

Absolutely, anon. The people we've hurt need to be rewarded for the shit they've survived from us. I was a complete and absolute bitch, and I apologize for how much of a bitch I was -- but not for the reasons why I was a bitch. I'm not going to apologize for my trauma. For any persecutors reading this, nobody here is asking you to apologize for who you are. We're just saying, acknowledging that you hurt someone is a good place to start.

So in my villain era I just chose to be an asshole. I was pissed at the system and wanted to make their lives hell. Letting me front was a mistake I was purposefully off putting around our friends (no they didn’t bloody deserve it I knew what I was doing. I also wasn’t mean I was off putting, to be clear). I wasn’t a confused protector. I wasn’t protecting us. I made the conscious decision and effort to hurt or disturb anything I came into contact with because I was mad. Not all persecutors are like this but my annoyance is at the whole persecutor positivity that includes people like me.

Anon, take this whatever way you want, but that to me sounds like protecting your system. I purposefully made myself unpleasant to be around. I fucked with my friends and purposefully pissed them off, not "to protect us UwU" but because they were fucking stupid to be friends with these idiots. The other fuckers in my head were weak, pathetic, and pointless. I pretended to be other parts, just to pull the rug out from under my friends, because god was it easy to, and it was absolutely hilarious to see their reactions. I tortured my other parts innerworld, because god was it fun to make them realize just how pathetic they were, just how much better I was than them. My goal was to get the other parts to kill themselves (what I understood as dormancy after some time) and let me just take charge, because I wanted to live.

And yeah. That's me protecting my system.

Because the more I bashed us, the more I said, "let me take over because I'm better than you," the more I pushed away all my friends... It was the more I "kept us safe" from getting hurt from the outside. Rice won't be hurt if she doesn't exist. Rice won't break down from trauma memories if fill her brain with trauma memories 24/7. Rice won't lose her friends and break down if she has no friends to begin with.

I didn't do that on purpose, of course. I didn't look to help these assholes. I wanted them GONE. But now that I'm reformed, now that I can look back at what a mess I actually was, instead of the perfect being I thought I was, I can understand that all of that was my misguided way of protecting us. Even if I didn't understand that at the time.

I made that conscious decision to hurt, and it was influenced by the unconscious decision to protect.

Now, maybe you really were just a pissy lil bitch who wanted to hurt people, whatever, I really couldn't care less about you. But at the end of the day, alters in DID systems split for a reason -- to cope with trauma and make it bearable to survive through. So regardless of what edgy pre-teen bullshit you're spouting, if you're an alter, you're a form of protector in some way. At least in my eyes.

I didn’t change because the system was nice to me. I wouldn’t have changed because someone got me an ice cream or sympathised with me (and they tried) I changed because I happened to be fronting one night and someone was vulnerable in front of us. I’d been nothing but an asshole up until them but I was trusted because in that moment I wanted to change and trusting that I would try I was allowed to. I masked and helped the guy.

Cool! Glad you worked your shit out. I started getting better because someone was really fucking mean to me. I mean, I had food poisoning, was running out of the room to vomit, and my friend still sat me down for like a 2 hour or so lecture about how I was a fucking awful person and she wouldn't stop lecturing me until I shaped the fuck up and understood why she thought I was bad. That fucking BROKE me.

Being nice to your persecutor is one way. Torturing them after fucking cafeteria mozzarella stick induced food poisoning is another. To each their own, y'know? (Side note, I know you don't follow me here bby but I love you, thank you for slapping the shit out of past me with your words and anger <3)

That’s not advice btw that’s just, what happened. No one being nice to me or trying to get me to change made me change it was having room for the decision to change that changed me. Getting mad at me for being an ass, making me say sorry for being an ass and treating me like someone who was an ass didn’t stop me from recovery. I whole heartedly believe that you don’t owe all persecutors kindness.

I wholeheartedly believe nobody is owed kindness. Kindness is a choice I make -- one that can easily be decided against if it is no longer beneficial to be kind. I owe no loyalty to kindness. I choose to be kind, because why the fuck wouldn't I be, you fucking idiot?

I was reforming a dipshit and I’ve been nothing but kind to her and she was still a dipshit. She understood she was being a dipshit but was fulfilling a role she thought had to be fulfilled and while I slowly undid that the person she was “tasked” with being a dipshit toward was allowed to be angry and upset and hurl insults back. You should be allowed to feel like you’re protecting yourself.

Ok but that was a kind thing to do. Like. That's what I mean when I say to be kind to your persecutors. Letting them BE ANGRY IS A GOOD THING???? So confused why this isn't seen as being kind. You took the time out of your fucking schedule to help give that person a space to be upset and angry. That's kindness. That was a choice.

And finally my most controversial statement. System jail is fine. Locking up parts of your system for being assholes isn’t good for them but when you can no longer take the constant abuse or you have too many other problems that’s fine. I don’t understand the weird obsession with being nice to the bully. In my experience that wont stop em and sometimes there is no space to give them room to change all you can do is protect yourself until there is space.

God you're so fucking hilarious tbh.

Yeah, sure, whatever, system jail is fine, esp in cases like. Where you're still in an abusive situation. That's because you're allowed to make mistakes, and system jail is a mistake. It's perfectly valid and fine while also being really fucking awful and stupid.

The "weird obsession" with being nice to the bully isn't "it will stop them." It's "that's an entire ass part of yourself, stop fucking airing your self-hatred out in public for everyone to see, it's nauseating."

TL;DR: Being kind to your persecutors is a choice. Obviously, it's not one you HAVE to make, but it's highly suggested. The issue is, "kindness" looks different for everyone. For me, it was "kind" to have someone do the equivalent of a guttural scream for 2 hours. For others, it's fru-fru shit that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy. For you, it was just giving someone the time and space to be angry. Making mistakes is okay. Do what you want forever and who even gives a shit? And FFS, OBVIOUSLY, LET'S NOT IGNORE THE VICTIMS OF OUR ABUSE. (But yknow, let's not ignore the fact that persecutors are also victims of abuse and they get blamed for literally every fucking thing jfc).