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at1nys-blog · 1 year ago

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Some stories gets told: The start

Pairing: OPLA!Roronoa Zoro x reader

Summary: After the duel with Mihawk, reader can't seem to leave Zoro's side while he is fighting between staying alive and reaching for an old friend

A/N: the way I am putting so much efforts in this is crazy, literally watching scenes in loop to understand how to add things and if they actually work in the original setting of the live action. I mentioned de@th a couple of times but briefly considering how long this is getting. Created a new village on Gecko Island for the sake of this ff Miro Village does not exists in the world of one piece, if it does I'm a lucky mf lol.

Pt.1\Masterlist\\Pt.2

If three days ago people would have told her she was going to fight Kalahadore and his minions, she would have laughed at her faces; if three days ago people would have told her she was going to enjoy a trio of wanna be pirates she would have laughed it off saying that the only crew she was going to join was the same as Yasopp's; if three days ago people would have told her that she was going to face one of her greatest fears, she would have joked about it, but there she was after a fight with Kaya's butler in the company of three wanna be pirates.

The bar was filled with pirates and some Marines, or so she thought. Her blurry vision was not of help, everyone dressed in blue or white, or white and blue, was a possible enemy that was waiting for the right time to strick an attack and bring them back to headquarters.

-...sea slug.-she heard the swordsman say, confused to why he was talking about sea slug, which, by the way, she thought were very cute, she asked for some explanations. Nami only pointed at Usopp, dancing with his usual grace and talent, if that could even be called grace or talent.

-Look at him. Like he doesn't have a care in the world.- the orange haired girl stated, she wanted to replay, to say that in reality Usopp was just putting on a facade, but who was she to spill secrets that were not of her owns? No one, so she just kept quite and went back to her drink. A not well made one on her humble opinion, but at least she was able to drink and have fun.

The girl, once again that night, went back into her own thoughts forgetting she was in company but even if she wanted to have a conversation with the two in her heart she knew it wasn't a good idea. Not when drunk and knowing such state meant spilling everything that was on her mind.

-..you drink.- that was the key word that got her attention, if drinking was in the equation she wanted to be part of whatever they were doing. -You guess something about me, I drink.- he said pouring some of the rum in three little glasses.

-uuhhh I want to play.-

-Not now.-they both said in unison.

-First round is between me and the thief.- Zoro said not taking his eyes off of Nami which smirked at the boy.

If her attention was on Usopp and having her drink, now it was on her two new friends having a drinking game.

-I bet yu grew up in a big city, running schemes, hanging out in swanky bars like this one.-Zoro was the first one to try and guess under Nami advice, she gave him a second smirk. Y/N imagines the swordsman got it wrong from how the girl next to her reacted. And she was right.

-You might be thirsty.-Nami said. -I grew up in a small village. Barely a village. Just an handful of houses in the center of a tangerine grove.- Y/N started to picture how beautiful that might have been, that once again her mind alienated her from the conversation.

Y/N didn't know how long she was gone in her little world, but when she was back to reality second round was on, and this time she wanted to partecipate, but aparently the universe didn't want her to play that Usopp came back at the table with "his new best friend" or whatever.

-What did you say your name was again?-he asked sitting next to Nami.

-Which one of you is Monkey D. Luffy?-Y/N noticed Nami trying to get some informations out of the new nameless guy, asking who wanted to know such a question.

-You are Dracule Mihawk.- the name didn't ring any bell to Y/N, she had never heard that name, or at least while she was intoxicated from all the alcohol she had, the name was completely new to her ears.

-I have business with your captain. If you know what's good for you, you'll hand him over.- she noticed the man didn't like to beat around the bush, he just wanted to get to Luffy.

-We don't know anyone named Luffy. Right, guys?- Y/N looked at Nami confused.

-What do you mean we don't know him? He came here with us.- she turned to the elegant dressed man and told him that Monkey D. Luffy was somewhere around the Baratie but she didn't know exactly where.

-You are unbeliavable.-

-What? Is true he was with us and now he is not.- she defended herself, the two of them started to bicker: Nami trying to explain to her friend why she was supposed to lie, but their attention was back at Zoro when they hard him saying Mihawk, was it Mihawk?, she didn't care much, what she cared about was why for the East Blue did he say that the man was going to die the very next day.

In that moment Y/N was sober in an instant, her brain was back to function normally and so her body. She moved forward, motion followed by the girl next to her, she wanted to understand fully what was happening, maybe she heard wrong. Maybe Zoro was just playing around but even if she had known the man for less than a week she could tell he never joked, at least not about somo random guy dying.

-I, Roronoa Zoro, challenge you to a duel to the death.-

-To the what now?- she said as a reflex, it was not like she meant to say out loud but it happens and the fact that Mihawk was staring at her was not helping her nervouness to settle down. The man turned back almost immediatly letting the green haired swordsman know he never heard of him, implying how small of a fly he was in his eyes.

-They call me the Demon Pirate Hunter. But my lifelong dream it to best you in single combat and become the greatest swordsman in the world.- now that is a great dream compared to hers, that just wanted to live numerous adventures and write about them.

Y/N started to second guess if starting such a journey was even worth it, she was surrended by people with amazing dreams, even Usopp had a better dream than hers. She shook the thoughts away, now she had to more important matter to care about.

Once the challenge was accepted and the time was set Mihawk left and she was on her feet in an instant, she tried to say something but the words seemed to be stuck in her throat. She was speechless, Zoro did not just challenged someone that, for what she got from their conversation, is the most powerful and skilled swrodsman out there.

-You just have signed up your death sentence, you idiot.- she said and left to head back to the Going Merry.

Zoro was polishing his swords when Usopp came back with Luffy behind him, Y/N was silently listening to the conversation happening in the room, not really knowing how to handle the situation. Sure wasn't her friend, how could he be after a day they have known each other? But she didn't want him dead already.

Words of the conversation came and didn't so her brain didn't process half of what they had been talking about, she just knew Nami was trying her best to change Zoro's mind.

It was after Luffy and Usopp left the room that Zoro spoke directly to her that night, asking why she was still there.

-The promise.- she had heard that part, his dream was a promise made to someone; he was going to die just for a promise he made in the past. -did you made it to your friend?- he didn't answer but his body language told her everything she wanted to know. -in that case, I hope you are not going to die. Good luck.- she said walking outside ready to go and try to have some good sleep.

Waking up the next morning felt like a task, her head was pouding so much that if she had too many thoughts her head was going to explode in milion pieces for the lack of space. Trying to stand up from her hammock without falling was another task she didn't know how she managed to carry out, her legs feeling like jelly pudding but she managed to stay on her feet and following the boys outside, after wearing a pair of sunglasses.

The duel started and Y/N wanted to go back on the ship. She didn't want to see Zoro lose, she believed Zoro was a strong fighter and very much the most talented swordsman she ever knew but if his opponent had decided to use a tiny sword that looked like more like a knife, there was a high chance his friend was going to die in the worst case scenario.

The first time the weapon inflicted a scar on Zoro, Y/N gasped and hold onto Usopp to not fall butt flat on the ground for the scare it gave her.

-Why don't you retreat?- Mihawk's voice was cold, dry of any type of emotion when he spoke to him.

-I can't.-

-He can't.- a whisper, taken away from the wind in an istant, not Usopp nor Luffy behind her heard what she said and she was glad. She didn't want to explain herself, not right now.

-Or my dream will be lost forever.- and this is when things got for the worse. The swordsman took out Yoru, the sword he carries on his back and there was a fraction of seconds after the collision between the weapons where it felt like time stopped for good. Then the glenging of Zoro's swords hitting the ground broken into pieces. Y/N gasped, holding tighter on her best friend's arm.

The green haired boy sheated his good sword in place, opened his arms to form a T with his whole body. Tension grew in the air, everyone knew what was going to happen.

While the rest of the crew gave a glance towards each other she couldn't. Her eyes, even if weakened by the bright sun rays, couldn't leave the form of the boy that was about to die in a second now.

-ZORO- Luffy was the first to react, in a second the boy with the straw hat was next to his first mate, hoping to not see him dying in his hands. The conversation him and Mihawk had came in and out Y/N ears, she was focused on praying for the boy to not die.

Usopp was next, he run to his friends' side, pulling her with him in the process, she tripped loosing the grip on his best friend and falling on the ground. Nami tried to help her up, asking if she was okay but she was just able to keep silent.

It was just like when she was a kid and her father had died; it was like when she was a little girl and saw his first friend die, it was as if death was following her wherever she was going collecting people she loved one after the other. Her nails became such an important thing to stare at, she couldn't stand the sight of the pirates around Zoro, trying to speak comforting words that he was going to be okay.

He is not going to be okay, she thought, how could he? He had lost already too much blood and the more they were staying there doing nothing the more he was going to be more on the other side.

It was Nami that brought everyone back to reality and started to shout orders left and right. She asked the boys to take Zoro from the arms while she and Y/N would hold him from the legs.

Everything became a race with time, the more they wasted the more likely was for Zoro to die of blood loss. The four of them put him on the table of the kitchen; Usopp started to run around trying to find some towels or everything that could come in handy; Nami checked on the wounds; Luffy started to space out, every type of noise started to fade out and Y/N didn't know what to do, once again in her life she didn't know how to save another life.

-Someone...- the (your hair color) haired girl knew what she had to do, if no one was of any help she had to find someone that could be. She sprinted outside heading back to the resturant, they had to have a doctor or some sort of thing, didn't they? If that was not the case she was just unlucky.

Entering the resturant she clumsly tried to remember where was the kitchen, the place wasn't that big but in her mental state it was going to be hard remembering her own name.

When she found the door she rushed in, getting the chef and waiter's attention. The blond guy smirked, ready to flirt with her but noticing the worried expression on her face he just asked her if everything was fine.

-Nothing is fine.-she catched her breath for a moment. -Zoro got... He has a very pretty bad sword wound we need a doctor.- please tell me there is one on board, please please please. Her eyes were staring at the owner of the establishment and her face dropped when he said that the closest one was two days from there. Just my luck.

-I can't help you. Hope your friend makes it.-

-No, please you have to help us, please. Maybe there is a doctor on...-

-Ehy, where do you think you're going?- she wanted to punch the chef, he was totally ignoring her call of help and cared more where his waiter was going than on the live or death situation she presented him.

-To help her friend.- said Sanji

-Brunch is not gonna prep itself.- he reminded him. She was totally going to punch him if he ignored once again what was happening.

-You always told me to feed anyone who's hungry.- she heard him saying while looking around the room. -I don't see how this is any different.- he added.

The owner of the resturant sighed, realizing that he had no other choice but try and do somethig to help the dying kid.

-Fine. Bring me my kitchen knives and a bottle of our best whiskey. And a fresh yellowtail from the cooler. Bigger the better.-he ordered and started walking outside. Sanji was confused, why would Zeff need a yellowtail? -Just do it already.-

Y/N walked them to the Merry and once she pointed the direction of the kitchen, she let them go in first. She wanted to stay away from there, she didn't want her bad luck to linger over Zeff while he worked on Zoro's wounds.

It had been some time since the two chefs came to stich the swordsman up so when she saw the chef leaving the kitchen she jumped on her feet asking how her friend was doing. Zeff assured her the guy was resting but only time could have told if he was going to live or not.

She walked inside meeting eyes with Usopp, Luffy stop tending on Wado and looked at her, giving the girl a forced smile, and she did the same. She was in no shape for smiling sincerely.

-How is he doing?-her tone was almost inaudible if it wasn't for the lack of noises.

-He is resting now, we are hoping for the best.-Usopp answered, she looked in the direction of Nami's room but then changed her mind. She didn't want for her bad luck to make things worse.

Usopp noticed. He always did. He had know her for a long time now and could read her like an open book. He knew what she had to go through, she had told him, trusting in his vow to not say a thing.

-You can go and talk to him. Maybe he would like to hear from a more gentle voice.- he joked.

-I heard that.- that made her laugh a little and she made a note to herself to thank her best friend for the joke.

-But...-he started again, Y/N stopped him, it was fine. She was going to stay in her room for the time being hoping that everything was going to get better.

-What's up with her?-Asked a worried Sanji looking the girl dissapearing from his view. After she had left the cook tried to get some info out the sniper but the man brushed it off lying that he wished to know as well.

Entering her room she locked herself in, not wanting people in for now, she wished for some alone time.

She went to the little desk and turned on the snail radio searching for a station worth listening to hear. Every station she picked were talking about some piracy activity around the East Blue or the New World, some had music but nothing that was of her taste. Her patience was running short, nothing was good enough, growing impatience she took the snail and throw it away.

The object made a loud noise that had been heard downstairs for sure, but she didn't care. She really didn't. She got herself under the blanket, cold running throught her body even tho the weather was pretty warm.

It took her nothing to fall asleep, and to be surrended by her nightmares coming back to make her sleep difficult. Between the faces that she was used to see screaming at her, putting the blame on her a new was added to the crowd: Zoro's. He wasn't talking like the others, he was silently looking at her dissapointment all over his features. Y/N tried to apologize, but words couldn't come out, they were stuck making her choke on air.

-Z...-nothing, her throat felt dry, like the ground back in Syrup Village during the drought. She felt powerless as usual. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, she wanted to apologize but it was hard when the only thing you can do is breath.

Breating, the only thing she was able to do was to breath but with time she found herself having an hard time doing that as well, dropping on the ground. Tears creeped out her eyes, watering her eye line but she tried her best to fight the urge to cry her eyes out.

She woke up covered in sweat and sighed asking herself when was she going to stop having nightmares or was she going to live like that forever? If that was the case she hoped the sea was going to take her as soon as possible, before she was going to lose her mind.

After a quick shower and a change of outfit she tippy toed outside her room making sure no one was around she headed to check on Zoro. She was happy to see they were alone in that moment.

She closed the door behind her and for a moment she pondered if it was a better idea go back to her room and stay there untill her friends were back, no she decided to keep Zoro company for a while. Maybe she didn't really know what to say, but the words were going to come at some point, wouldn't they?

She moved the chair closer to the bed he was resting on, glanced for a while his hand. Was oaky for her to hold it? Was he going to even feel it? She didn't know what to do, she had found herself in that position countless of times and yet it was just like the first time.

-Zeff told me it is a good idea to talk to you but honestly I don't even know what to say.- she thought she was sounding stupid, who on the seven seas starts a conversation like that? Her for sure. -Usopp hasn't always been my best friend, I had one before I met him. She was older than me, not much older, just two years of diference.- she smiled. -I was new to Miro Village. The first two months she was really mean to me so I would avoid her most of the times, even thought she would find ways to bully me so I gave up. She did everything in her power to make me upset, she blamed everything on me to get me in trouble like that one time she stole an entire cart of fruits and told the major it was my fault. He had to call in my parents, they wanted to talk to my dad about my behaviour but little they know he was dead. He had died some weeks prior I moved there, the journey wasn't that long since I used to live nearby but no one knew, how could they? Is not like I talked about it nor anyone cared to ask why a lonely little girl walked miles to get there, they were just happy there was someone doing the jobs no one wanted. She apologized for how she treated me but to be honest with you it wasn't that important, she was the only one that paid attention to me, yes you might argue it was not the best way but when you are a kid that goes unnoticed you kinda of like it when someone talks to you, even if is just to make fun of you.- she took a deep breath, now it came the hard part. -We started to get closer and closer until one day pirates raided the village, they took her because she was trying to protect little ol' me. They killed her on the spot and I was going to follow her if it wasn't for a random citizen pumbing into the pirate. It gave me the window to run away and I found shelter in Syrup Village where I met Usopp. Sometimes I see her in my dreams, she is always mad at me because I ran away and I didn't help her, sometimes I think back at...-

Someone was on board, she could tell, checking who was she felt safe seeing her captain. Luffy walked past her ignoring her presence, not because he didn't like her, for all the seas if that was the case she couldn't even have thought on putting a single foot on his ship, the captain had to fix the problem first thing first.

-Hey, Zoro. You sure missed a big fight. Those fishman guys were though. You would have loved it.- she smiled, knowing that was 100% so true. -...great dinner. All of us sitting around together, listening to Usopp's stories. Only I kinda messed it up. And now I lost Nami.- schock was painted all over Y/N, what was he talking about? Losing Nami? How? When? Why?

-...but I know what to say now, and is so simple. I need you, Zoro. I need you to wake up.- the girl felt ashemed, she wasn't able to say those simple words, indeed went on about her childhood friend that died to protect her. She was glad that her captain got the courage to say those words.

-You gonna keep talking, or let me get some sleep? Geez, you people really like to talk uhm?- Luffy jumped on top of Zoro, Y/N was only able to stare at the two boys in front of her. He was alive, how? She was pretty sure he was done for. She thanked whoever decided to let him live.

Luffy hugged his first mate, making him groan out of pain.

-Luffy, Luffy get off you are hurting him.- the girl said and before she could help the straw hat pirate down he was already on his feet.

She was now standing next to Luffy, looking at Zoro with a small smile on her face.

-I had the strangest dream that Nami left.-

-She did.-

-What do you mean she did? Why?-

-It's my fault. She left...- he started but Zoro cut him off.

-No, you didn't do anything wrong. You acted like a captain.- Luffy couldn't understand, if he did actually act like a captain, why was the crew falling apart more and more? -No, it's not. I, Roronoa Zoro, vow to stand by your side from now until the end. Until we find the One Piece or die trying.- he kept on with his vow and Y/N could only admire the boy for that. She started thinking if she was in any position to vow eternal loyalty or if her presence on the Going Merry was just temporary, she hoped not for the latter.

-so what do you say?-

-What?-

-Do you want to be part of my crew as a loyal member?-she was taken aback, no one had ever asked for her opinion on important metters, she grew up following orders. If she was told to do something her only concern was to carry on the task, no question asked, but now? Now she was given the chance to choose: eaither stay on board and become a part of the Straw Hat pirates, or leave and starting fresh a new life somewhere else.

-If you accept me, I'll be honored to follow you and protect this crew and the one in needs.-

-Of course I accept you, why would have I asked to join in the first place? Now...- the three of them got interrupted by Usopp screaming and happy to see his friend awake.

-I wasn't worried for a second.-

-Yeah, not worried at all, in fact I was the one...-

-HE IS ALIVE.-he said raising with such force his hand and Zoro's in the process, making the wounded guy groan out of pain.

-LUFFY STOP. - she separeted the two, taking Zoro's hand in hers. -For all the seas, you are going to give him an embaracing death one of those days I am telling you.- she was still holding his hand when the green haired swordsman cleared his throat to get her attention. -Sorry.-

-So, now what we do? Plot a curse to the Grand Line?-

-No, not yet.- was his answer.

-But I thought we were going after the One Piece?-

-We are, but we can't do it without our whole crew.- she smiled, knowing exactly where he was going with that. First mission before heading to the Grand Line: getting Nami back.

-Great, now you two start getting everything ready. I am going to change his bandage.-

-I can do...-the captain started.

-I am not leaving the first mate under your care. You keep treating him like a doll. Now please let get ready to leave.

-I can do it myself.- he groaned trying his best to stand up, but failed.

-dude, you can't even seat without help. Now shut up and let me help you.- he let a small "fine" not sure about the whole situation but it was either that or groaning every two seconds. And as much as his ego screamed at him that it wasn't to be that bad, he gave up and thought that maybe he really needed a little bit of help.

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edibleashell · 4 months ago

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TUA S4 feels

Pretty sure that Umbrella Academy S4 finale left a permanent scar on my psyche. Still one of my favorite shows but I might just end after season 3 in future rewatches. So many issues with S4.

In like episode 1 we got Ben and Jennifer touching and that started a countdown to the end of the world and the whole season was just junk to fill that time. So many good ideas that weren't done properly at all. Shuffling their powers? Alternate timelines? Hargreaves owning pretty much everything? Abigail just being alive? Pointless.

Luther was just a repeating loop of stripper and home decorating jokes.

Diego should have been a martial arts instructor or something not a depressed delivery guy. A bunch of jokes about him getting out of shape only to reveal that he's still jacked. He throws a potted plant and misses. His arc is just Big Sad for no reason and the relationships he built in the first three seasons were apparently irrelevant, if anyone would have been taking care of Safety Klaus it would have been him.

Allison's character was just an accessory to Klaus, after three seasons of her trying to reclaim the family she lost she ended up spending more time as a tool to Klaus's arc than she did with Claire. And Ray just being casually written out was so disrespectful.

Klaus, oh poor Klaus, my favorite character, what did they do to you? He should have been a nurse or something but instead he was paranoid, then pissed off because the writers decided that Klaus would equate marigold with drugs and just fall right off the wagon? And then he goes to some sketchy guy he owes money to even though S1 Klaus is shown just buying drugs from random people? All to justify his prisoner plot, none of which had any real impact. And he can fly for a second for some reason. Okay.

Five working for the CIA was bad. He should have been the retired fun uncle to Claire and Grace. After spending fifty years trying to get back to his family why did he keep leaving them? Why did he hook up with his brother's wife after only six years? And am I supposed to believe that in every timeline he has the same haircut? That none of the other Fives lost their arm? How did he never notice his boss's blatant umbrella tattoo? He just casually strolls through "his" apocalypse as though he doesn't have ptsd, and why were he and Lila living off sewer rats when they had infinite timelines to scavenge?

I was so excited to see Ben witg the family but one episode in he becomes a bomb and fucks off with a girl who can hardly be called a character.

Viktor was the only character I thought got some form of authenticity and justified growth, his arc kind of seemed like a ripoff of S3 Klaus though. And we missed out on what could have been a really beautiful scene of him drawing the upside down umbrella on his arm.

Lila went from "I don't want to be like my mom" to a motherhood cliche. And what was the deal with her family? She just found her parents and they immediately accepted her or something? Was there another Lila in this universe? That made no sense. If anyone would have joined the CIA it would have been her. Her and Diego should have been weird parents teaching their kids how to fight and kill but instead they got some domestic life that those characters never belonged in.

And there's so much more! Abigail is alive? Hardly relevant. Why did she body snatched Gene, it didn't really seem to change anything. The Keepers existed only to be a minor obstacle in the last episode. And are her and Reggie aliens? Why? How? What's the point?

AND DURANGO? THAT'S A CAR! Harland named marigold and for a farm kid that makes sense (though the retconned acceptance of that word into Umbrella vocabulary was irksome) But Durango? Abigail is a scientist and she names The Bad Dust after an SUV? Why?

AND WHY WAS THERE ZERO QUEERNESS? Each of the first three seasons had some sort of queer arc but not this one. I still wonder if some higher-up didn't intentionally assassinate the show as backlash for the immense respect S3 gave Elliot Page.

One last thing, music is a big part of the show, they've always put such thought and care into the soundtrack and it makes sense knowing who the creators are, so why, of all songs, was Baby Damn Shark the first song to be featured in like three episodes? It seems intentionally disrespectful.

I'm done, rant over, I'll never recover from this.

#Tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella acedmy #Rant #klaus hargreeves #tua s4 spoilers #tua season 4 #tua s4 #tua spoilers

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ckret2 · 1 year ago

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Chapter 15 of Bill's a human prisoner and everybody's grumpy about it, featuring: NIGHTMARES NIGHTMARES NIGHTMARES NIGHTM

Remember these? We're getting 'em both in one chapter. Plus: FORD! Also: a little bit of human gore, a lot of bizarre alien gore.

This is a shorter chapter, but it's the first one with a direct glimpse into Bill's backstory and home dimension. I hope you enjoy! And are deeply horrified!

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"You have to stop spouting this nonsense." A golden line slithered around him, weaving back and forth, her furious eye focused on him as she paced. "Nobody comes to your services for deranged muttering about points of light in darkness. They don't want to hear about things that are above-but-not-north of us! What does that mean, above-but-not-north?"

"It means what it says, Mom." Above him—above, but not north, in an endless void outside the plane of the world—countless stars twinkled in an unending dark. "That's where the third dimension is. And that's what it looks like! I don't know how else to explain it to someone who hasn't seen it!"

"Then why explain it at all? They don't want to hear it! It's a surprise you aren't already losing congregants. I know you can tell you're losing their interest."

He could tell. Sullenly, he said, "Maybe we just—just need smarter congregants. If they weren't too stupid to understand—"

"People are stupid, sweetie. That's why they follow you. You don't want the smart ones anyway, or they'd be smart enough to see through all the lies you make up about the third dimension—"

"I'm not making it up!"

"Every week you talk about impossible places that can't exist! Either you're lying or insane—which is it?"

How could he answer that? He looked up into space, as if the distant stars only he saw could help him.

"Oh, don't do that, I hate when your eye goes white like that. It might impress your worshipers but it doesn't work on your mother, young triangle." She paced around him faster, coiling tighter, surrounding him on all sides in gold, her eye peering straight into his. "I don't care whether you're a liar or a lunatic—you're still my golden child, and everyone else will see that too as long as you tell them what we say. Nobody wants to hear that the third dimension is a dark, empty void! Tell them it's full of color and life! Tell them it's filled with the spirits of departed shapes, or messengers, divine guides, muses—"

"But it isn't! I don't care what they want it to be, it's not true! I'm trying to make them understand!" He had to make them understand, he needed somebody to understand. He thought he'd go insane if he was the only one who could see how empty and awful space was.

"I've listened to your gibberish about points of light and up-not-north for months and I don't understand it, so how can anyone else—"

"You're not trying to understand!" Space and all its vast emptiness was oh, so close, so achingly close. Pressing against everyone's bodies, breathing over their organs, lighting up those tight-coiled fibers beneath everyone's skin, shining on the bloody bones and thin muscles. "Either you're not listening or you're stupid!" How couldn't anyone else see space?

"How dare you—!"

How could they be close enough to touch it and still deny what it was?

Why was he the only freak who could bend up into it?

Her sharp tail cracked like a whip behind his base. "I'll teach you to talk back to me like that!"

His mind was feverish with anger, pulsing and roiling behind his eye—and for a moment, he wasn't afraid of anything.

She could bend and flex and coil, she was the most flexible line he'd ever seen. The doctors thought he might have inherited his ability to bend up-not-north from her, some genetic predisposition to flexibility. If he could bend UP, so could she. He'd make her. He'd force her. He'd show her.

He jammed his corner into her side. She shrieked, uncoiling from around him to scrunch around her wound. "Watch your— What are you—"

"You'll see," he said, shoving her against the wall, shoving her into a corner. "You'll see if it's the last thing you do!" It was like cramming a long rope into a short box; each time he shoved, she bent and curved and bent again.

"Stop—stop, it HURTS—"

He could see it in his mind's eye: if he kept pushing and pushing eventually there'd be no more room in two dimensional space for her to fill, and then she'd be forced to bend UP, up into the third dimension, all that open free space. Then she'dsee the dark, she'd see the far points of light—

"STOP!" She howled in pain. He kept pushing. She was out of room.

She didn't bend up.

He shoved—and she splintered. Bone snapping, cartilage tearing, he could see inside her thin body as things broke and ruptured.

He didn't know what to do.

And for several long, long seconds—he couldn't remember what was happening. The world seemed to bend wrong, rippling up-but-not-north and down-but-not-south, and his head swam and his vision blurred, and he couldn't remember.

Her skin fractured and peeled off, strand after strand. He’d seen grotesque injuries and rotting bodies before—he’d been in hospitals and seen through the bandages, been in graveyards and seen into the coffins, unable not to see though the doors and walls and tombs. He’d seen the way the skin came off, the way it split into hairy filaments as it loosened from the body, bristly around injuries or sloughed off whole from the long dead. But he'd never seen dead skin curl like his mother's, loosely zig-zagging back and forth and wrapping into spirals like the centers of flowers. It filled the spaces between his fingertips, wrapped up his arms. He could shut his eye but he still saw it through his eyelid, still felt it tickling at the corners of his mouth.

Irrationally, wildly, hysterically, watching his mother die, he wondered—when he died, when he was a corpse, when he rotted—when his body split open in half from his burst eye, as the labyrinth of his guts bloated and unwound and inverted themselves to spill in sick threads from his mouth, and his skin peeled free, layer by hairy layer, from his eyelid out—would his rotting golden skin curl like his mother's had?

He knew it would. He knew it would. He knew it would.

####

He woke to moonlight streaming through curls upon curls of golden skin dangling in his eye, choking him on rot.

He squeezed his eyes shut, batted the hair aside, and forced himself to breathe until the nausea subsided.

He hated how humans dreamt.

He decided he didn't want any more sleep tonight.

He dragged himself upright, shambled downstairs, and tried to ignore the coils of his internal organs spilling out of his head and dangling around his face.

He needed a drink.

####

Ford woke up standing over a bed and a body.

He couldn't identify the shape or size of the body under the sheets, due to how badly it was contorted and the way the dark pools of blood in the bedsheets distorted the shadows. All he could see was the head: a flash of a pale cheek turned away, and the unmistakeable Pines hair curls. The hair was matted with blood.

Ford's hands were coated in hot blood and cold blue flames. There was a nauseating metallic taste in his mouth and something thick and warm dripping down his chin.

He heard a quiet chuckle. He whipped around to face it—

And saw himself reflected in a triangular window, a gray shade. He was smiling so widely he could see moonlight glinting off his molars. His slitted eyes glowed a sickly yellow.

Ford woke up staring at the ceiling. He licked his lips; reassuringly dry. He held up his hands; clean.

He sighed.

Ford could roll over and go back to sleep. He'd gotten used to dreams like this decades ago; these days he hardly even had them. But he was already awake and irritated. He might as well pick up where he'd left his research at dinner time—do something that felt productive. He got up, fished a crumpled paper that said "Downstairs" out of his bedside stand and set it next to Stan's glasses, and crept out of the guest room to head for the vending machine.

Bill was in the kitchen.

Ford stopped in the next room, staring through the doorway. Bill was sitting in the dark, only his silhouette visible in the light through the window. He was hunched over the kitchen table, supported on his elbows, unmoving. Ford couldn't see Bill's reflection in the window. Not even his eyes.

Ford wondered what he dreamed about. Perhaps the thrill of possessing people.

He was half tempted to confront Bill—demand to know what he was up to—but, Ford told himself, there was nothing to confront Bill for. They'd given him permission to use the kitchen freely. Bill wasn't up to anything. It was well within his rights to sit silently at the table in the dark.

Ford just didn't like it.

He crept into the living room. Bill never noticed him.

####

Dipper divided the nightmares he'd been having since last summer into two categories: the Bill nightmares; and the Bipper nightmares—which were, in a way, also Bill nightmares.

The Bill nightmares were just his regular nightmares, except that Bill was also in them. For Dipper, regular nightmares were a mishmash of fears, insecurities, chaos, and random weirdness. It was natural that Bill, the most terrifying entity Dipper had ever met, occasionally guest starred in his dreams. The problem was that, since Bill actually could invade dreams and always brought chaos and random weirdness in his wake, it was that much harder for Dipper to realize he was dreaming rather than actually facing Bill—and, once he woke up, harder for him to reassure himself it really was only a dream.

(Mabel told him she had similar problems, and it wasn't even limited to nightmares. Sometimes, no matter how sweet or unthreatening her dream was—and sometimes because it was so sweet—their erratic scene-changing logic-breaking wish-making nature gave her the creeping sense that she was trapped back in Mabeland. Not often, she said. But occasionally, when Dipper couldn't sleep either, he could hear her wake herself repeating "—I wanna go back to reality—I want to go back—go back to the real world," and then meow herself back to sleep.)

On the other hand, the Bipper nightmares were like no dreams he'd ever had before.

They might start out as normal nightmares—dreaming of a near death experience, or a monster charging at him, or some humiliation too deep to endure further sleeping through—until he jolted awake. Or he'd think he'd jolted awake—in truth, he'd just woken up into another dream, so realistic he thought he was awake until he realized he was hovering over his bed, and the world looked hazy and false, and his body was still beneath the covers. Just like when Bill had ripped him free of his body.

The first time he'd had the Bipper nightmare, Dipper thought Bill had taken over him again, and that at any moment his body would open its eyes and laugh at him. When that didn't happen, he thought he'd died. He'd flown to Mabel's room, to his parents', to Waddles, to the neighbors' houses, trying desperately to get someone's attention—and when nothing worked, he returned to his still body in despair and waited there, sure that in a few hours his parents would come to get him for school and find him dead...

But then he'd woken up. For real, this time. And then he woke the rest of the house with his screaming.

He learned to cope with these nightmares, both the Bill ones and the Bipper ones. He talked about them with Mabel during the day or went to her for reassurance at night. Sometimes he called Ford, if he and Stan were in a time zone where they'd still be awake. (Ford said he'd had nightmares for years about Bill invading his dreams—and almost none of them had been real. He said that his visits from Bill were usually less chaotic than a normal dream. Bill liked his weirdness but he liked being the center of attention more; he liked to stage his dreams like a movie director, keeping a firm grip on the setting and the narrative flow, snapping from location to location and moment to moment with an artistry that natural dreams didn't have. The muddled mundanity of your average nightmare was beneath Bill.)

And Dipper learned to wait out his Bipper nightmares. Sometimes he wandered the hallways, but he found that engaging with the dream tended to prolong it; instead, if he stayed by his body and didn't do anything, eventually he'd drift back into deep sleep and wake back up. He started keeping a radio on at night—he could hear it in his sleep—and listening to the weird 3 a.m. broadcasts kept him entertained enough until he woke.

####

But since returning to Gravity Falls, Dipper had found a new way to deal with his nightmares:

Yelling at Bill about them.

Tonight, he was having his guilt-dream about his dad asking why he'd given up kickboxing; until the dream was interrupted by Bill emerging from the refrigerator to announce that Weirdmageddon was opening a second location in Piedmont and then throw a rabid skunk at Dipper's face. Dipper had woken up too angry to think straight, stomped to Bill's empty window seat, and then stomped downstairs.

He found Bill sitting in the kitchen in the dark, washing down a bag of cookies with a pack of hard cider and staring out at the night. Dipper stopped in the doorway. "You!"

Bill turned to give Dipper a bleary-eyed look. "Me?"

"Stop messing with my dreams and stay out of my head!"

"Beg pardon?" Bill's eyelids were desynchronized as he slowly blinked. "I'm just..." He gestured vaguely around the kitchen with a mostly-empty cider can. "I am just—sitting here."

"You've been in my nightmares all year," Dipper said hotly, even as he was waking up enough to realize that Bill, down here in the kitchen, probably wasn't influencing his dreams. "So just—just..." This was stupid. "Cut it out, man."

"You've been dreaming about me? How sweet." Bill gave Dipper a mocking grin, propped his chin in his hand, propped his elbow on the table, actually missed putting his elbow on the table by at least six inches, and fell to the ground with a yelp.

Dipper stared tiredly at Bill cackling on the floor, and turned around and trudged upstairs.

Dipper found that, whenever he had nightmares about golden geometric apocalypses, it was reassuring to get an instant reminder that Bill had been nowhere near his head. Even if he thought Bill was laying on the "helpless human" act a little thick.

####

(I'm still recovering from Health Junk, so if you've got any comments, I'd deeply appreciate them now even more than I usually do. Thank you, y'all readers and commenters and friends are really keeping me going during this time of feeling like a pile of half-sentient gunk. 🙏✨)

#gravity falls #bill cipher #human bill cipher #dipper pines #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #bill goldilocks cipher

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tearwolfe · 5 months ago

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Okay, that's good to know. I might have other questions later as I think about things more/these Au's progress, but these are the ones I can think of atm. And please don't feel obligated to answer any of these, I just thought I'd ask.

(Also, I realized that all of these questions are somehow related to Leo/need? That was entirely unintentional, lol, my bad)

Cyberidol au- Does Saki and/or Leo/need exist in this AU? Do they play a part in the plot at all?

Maybe Saki doesn't show up physically in the current story events, but perhaps she's the one who inspired IdolKasa's initial, now-forgotten dream (like in canon), somebody he had pushed away for the sake of (or even due to) his desire for fame, and whose previous importance/presence in his life and her current distance from him will come to haunt him, now that everything he's worked so hard for (and his entire world view, hopefully) is starting to crumble.

Or maybe her role is more like Emu's- she loves her brother so much, and she's trying to push him down the right path and make him remember, but he just isn't not hearing her, no matter how hard she tries. Or maybe she's also stuck in a similar position in the entertainment industry along with the rest of Leo/need, or maybe they're in similar roles to Ruinene. So many possibilities.

(Wherever she is, I hope the Tenma's get to have a heartfelt reunion once Tsukasa gets his shit together.)

Seal Rui au- How exactly did the human/sea creature hybrids come to exist? It's been stated that Rui and the other sea people were kinda just born like that, and the humans are... Well, humans, but where did people like Honami come from? Were they also just born like that by chance, or are they the hybrid offspring of humans and sea people, or is it some secret third thing I haven't thought of? Is there an explanation at all?

Starshine au- You said in an earlier post that Saki, Toya, Haruka, and Kanade would also be little alien things along with Tsukasa (and you also said that this AU is RuiKasa centric, so I get it if you haven't thought about this at all), but what are the rest of Leo/Need up to? Do they still exist as a group just without Saki? Are Ichika, Honami, and Shiho not in a band/not friends at all in this AU? Do they act as hosts that Saki feeds off of like Tsukasa does to Rui? Are they also squishy little alien thingies?

Are all the other units essentially going through their own version of "what if this very important group member never actually existed as a human?" in the background while we focus on RuiKasa/WxS?

I highly doubt any of these things will ever come up in these stories proper, but I'm very curious about these things, lol. Thank you for responding <3

(Also, not a question, but if I had a nickel for every time Tsukasa in one of your au's was hiding from Saki that he was dating a nonhuman (seal Rui and vampire Rui), only for Saki to also be dating a nonhuman without him knowing, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's funny that it happened twice, lol.)

leo/need's role is similar to rui and nene's. i think it'd be fun if one (or more) of them were ex-idols (or formerly in the industry, if not an actual idol), but currently they're not. saki is estranged from tsukasa. i don't have much thought out for what's going on between them?? they do still care about each other, but tsukasa's head is so far up his own ass that saki has stepped back from trying to deal with him. it's very complicated between the two.. they'll still message or meet for birthdays/important events but it's Very Tense. and they're both secretly upset about it.

honami is the result of a human/sea creature hybrid! thus, she has legs.

the rest of leo/need exists in starshine, but they're not a band. they're former childhood friends.. funny enough, like in canon, saki does bring them together. she feeds off of all of them, just clinging to whichever one is currently feeling the worst. she doesn't really have to do much to manipulate any of them since she has three whole hosts. she's doing it better than tsukasa... but yes, pretty much! minori is haruka's host, akito is toya' host, mafuyu is kanade's host (though kanade doesn't really have to do much), and i'm thinking about also making an a little alien creature thang, with kohane as her host. because i think the vivids could still form without akitoya, and i cannot let that happen.

some things about AUs i have in my mind but never really talk about (since it's often not that relevant) so i'm always here to answer any questions <3

#ask #cyberidol au #seal rui #stashine au

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fruitycutie · 4 months ago

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Debate thoughts and quickie analysis!

The main reason Democrat and Republican debates have been historically frustrating is because it's always: Step 1: Republican makes outlandish, false claim about democrats or immigrants or what have you! Step 2: The Democrat responds with, "well no, actually, um" and doesn't actually face or address how INSANE Republican statements are in the first place. Step 3: The Republican, having already won, sneers the whole time and controls the conversation. This has been the case for 90% of recent american history. I am glad to see that that is NOT the case anymore. Kamala is actually doing really good, AND the moderators were on point, too. Like, for example, actually asking critical questions to both, and providing fact checks when Trump says that immigrants are EATING YOUR PETS, Substantiating that they already talked to the mayor of Springfield, Ohio and that there is absolutely no evidence found of something that- lets face it- is just one person's brain worms. It spread from one person's probably ill mind, and became a MAJOR REPUBLICAN POINT! It's that easy. And now it's completely gone because of course it is, its a total fabrication and in 2024 those don't fly anymore because we don't live in ignorance of Trump's strategies anymore. This whole thing just shows how desperate, vile and awful they are, that this is ALL they have after all. Honestly though, just seeing the people making bullshit up on the defensive is great! So I enjoyed the debate a lot. That being said, I want to talk about the fact that I was also pleasantly surprised. I expected it to be more 50/50, truth be told. I do think Kamala, like any other Dem, has a little bit of liberal syndrome - which is pretty standard for Democrats, it's just their bread and butter weakness, but she's definitely the best in that regard - which is why she's actually doing well! What do I mean by that? Well, it's simple. Democrats make this mistake of thinking that they're as equally left as Republicans are right - which is only a little bit, in this theory - and we can unite as a people, if we just try. Meanwhile, the reality of the situation is that the Democrats live in the real world, where people matter and policies affect them, while to be completely honest, Republicans live in the AI power fantasy where the Shadow Qabbal Border Tzar Trans Alien Prison Immigrants from Mexico are killing every aspect of the american dream you love and schools are where your Children transition by Force, you can trademark half of those buzzwords if you want. And you damn well know that if it were convenient for them, they'd include Jews in that, too. The point is, that is fundamentally not something you can compromise with. Because to compromise with something, it has to like, already exist in REALITY, right? And their ideas just don't. To summarize I guess, the main mistake Dems make is that they believe they'll get more of the Republican voter base if they move right slightly. BUT THAT NEVER WORKS!!! Because, the people voting for trump are ALL cultists, who are stuck up their own ass about emotional messaging and DO NOT care for empiricism, DO NOT care for results or outcomes, all they care about is being right that trump is their american savior. After all, as soon as Trump lost in 2020- a verifiable fact with NO room for empirical debate without changing the meaning of the word "lose", a shitstorm of false accusations about the election being stolen happened, the Capitol riot happened, not to mention even that Trump keeps promising that if he gets elected, nobody will have to vote again. Like - come on, it's so transparently fascism, to the point where even the most irrationally opposed to the term have to see it. You cannot reason or compromise with people like that, it's just not possible. Kamala has been better about this than all democrats up to her, easily, but she's still not perfect. And I hope this is completely understood by democrats going forward, if the Republican enstablishment doesn't change it's ways.

#presidential debate #2024 debate

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risestarkiss · 1 year ago

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Hey, so I was thinking about your post about the Timeline Paradox Photo from the movie, and I've been turning it over in my head for a few days (I love timeline nonsense, I've spent hours on LoZ timeline theory, this is my bread and butter) and anyhow I think I figured it out actually.

So, to start, we're dealing with two timelines--the main movie timeline, and the bad future timeline, with the photo originating in the bad future timeline. First, we need to know when does the movie timeline diverge from the bad future timeline, and that would be as soon as Casey emerges from the time portal. Obviously in the bad future timeline Casey didn't exist at the time the Kraang invaded bc he wasn't born yet, so the whole "butterfly effect" thing was immediately in effect as soon as he popped out of the portal and therefore the movie timeline split off from the bad future timeline as soon as Casey shows up. This means there's a window of time from when Casey came out of the portal to when the Kraang were released from the prison dimension (or possibly later to when they summoned their main ship from the top of the tall building) for the photo to have logically been taken (since obviously no one's going to be taking wholesome family photos while the apocalypse is unfolding).

So then, let's look at the events as we know them for fact from the movie timeline. Before Casey finds April, a few things happen. First, the turtles fail to retrieve the key, but since they don't realize how important it is, they just head back to the Lair to chill for a bit. Second, April steals the vials of herbicide (er, whatever the blue goopy stuff was) from her college, and then encounters Casey. And then the rest of the movie unfolds the way it does bc Casey warns them about, y'know, the impending alien invasion and general doom of the world. Which means the team crashes the summoning party before the Kraang are able to pull out their weapons (possibly their exoskeletons? I'm thinking it's got to be the exoskeletons they were gonna try and nab, and not the main warship). Anyhow, this sets off the domino chain to lead to, well, all the other movie events.

Now, what happened then in the bad future timeline? With no Casey at that specific moment in time? My best guess is: the turtles fail to retrieve the key and head back to the Lair. April steals the herbicide from her college and then what? She's got a dangerous substance that she doesn't know a lot about, so it's possible she also heads to the Lair to have Donnie analyze it for her. And hey, she pulled off a cool ninja mission on her own and is making progress on her road to being an investigative reporter, that's something to celebrate and maybe even commemorate, so someone pulls out a camera and they all take The Group Photo (as to who's holding the camera, I mean, Donnie's got all sorts of tech that I'm sure could accommodate taking a picture of the group). Meanwhile, the Foot Clan frees the Kraang, and the Kraang are able to get their exoskeletons (again, this is a guess, but they seem much more powerful and protected w/ the exoskeletons, so), and no one is the wiser bc there was no tip off. The Kraang then make their way to the highest point in the city (big tall building who's name escapes me, sorry) and summon their main warship, which sets the apocalypse in motion. Given the lapse of time the turtles and April aren't able to react quickly enough to do anything to really stop the Kraang (and even if they could, the Kraang already have All Their Weapons)--intead, they manage to save enough survivors and go into hiding, allowing for Casey to be born and for the bad future timeline to unfold until it reaches what we get to see at the start of the movie.

So, that's my best theory for when the photo was taken and how it's not actually a true paradox or inconsistency. Actually, it could even double (or triple) as a really poetic bit of narrative writing, since future-Leo draws the image of the key that will release the Kraang on the back of the photo, the photo is an image of the people who are key to stopping the Kraang, and if the photo was taken/created on the day that everything started, then it might be a sort of temporal key to help Mikey's mystic powers guide Casey backwards in time to the exact day the photo was originally taken so that he could try and change the future.

Sorry for the really long anon ask, I'm super new to tmnt and am still getting a feel for things, so I was a bit too shy to just write this all out in a reblog of your original post. But I love your blog, thanks for writing all these fun analyses!

I’ve been thinking this over as well + having some great discussions on the original post. 😁 I completely agree with the divergence of the timelines happening once Casey comes out of the portal, and I do think that the happy family photo would have been interrupted by Casey’s appearance. But yeah, your explanation makes complete sense.

The twist on the key on the photo is such an interesting take! Thanks so much for the insight and welcome to the fandom 😊! Aww, it’s my pleasure. I love these silly little guys 😄💜

#answered asks #rottmnt #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt2018 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2018 #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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dexlabs · 1 year ago

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Headcanon: Anodite Mandark

I'm going to make a bulletpoint thing because there's A LOT of stuff. This is a headcanon based on the Fusionfall Universe (of course DUH XP)

About his Parents:

Oceanbird is herself an anodite, arrived on Earth after hearing about it from Verdona, Ben and Gwen's grandmother;

She met Windbear in a secret USSR facility where he worked as head scientist studying alien life. She was captured right after arriving on Earth;

She convinced him to leave the job and follow her around to explore the world and he did, being fed up with all the atrocities he had to see in name of science;

Oceanbird completely fell in love with Earth and Windbear and decided to abandon her anodite form and live with him in Flowertopia.

Before the war:

Mandark doesn't know about his parents past and tbh doesn't really care about it;

His first encouter with magic was because of science, when he used an old jewel case (the one from Mandarker) from his mother to build an interdimentional portal. It just happened that that particular jewel case was infused with magic, so the portal directly opened into Legerdomain;

Unlike in the cartoon, here he actually met someone else who taught him about magic and its powers and how they could be used to rule the world. That someone was actually Charmcaster;

She lied about her name to him (called herself Jojo) but decided to reveal him some secrets since she felt he had something more and evil deep inside and she was actually impressed he managed to get there in first place;

Charmcaster also made a deal with him: once he would be older and in complete control of his powers, he would join her side and become loyal to her. He accepted, knowing too well somehow that that was never going to happen (and it didn't... for now);

Just to be sure, Charmcaster altered his memory so he wouldn't remember about visiting Legerdomain.

Even with this new knowledge, he was still more interested in science, and didn't use the book too much;

He can actually read minds as shown in Dexter's Rival, that's the first sign of his powers awakening, even if he didn't realize it at first;

He used the book again at the science fair to get Dexter, summoning a monster he actually believed to be the Jojo he met years before;

He decided to let go of magic completely because he wanted to get Dexter using science only. He also started hating it because Dexter did.

During the war:

We have an actual mission from him called "Mag-ICK" where you need to investigate magic readings around Steam Alley. Even if you find the Wishing Skull, Mandark tells you to "Stick with science and avoid magic at all costs. It's for losers!" Which tells us that, again, he DOES know magic exists. He just hates it. Honestly this mission is what started this whole mess you're reading lmao. Anyway:

Here we go with my favourite dynamic coming from this headcanon, which is Gwen and Mandark interaction;

Somehow (gotta work on this tbh) Gwen gets to know that Mandark owns a book about magic, and asks a recruit to go get it from him so she can study it;

Mandark actually forgot he had that book, but asks the recruit to go search his old lab for it;

The book is found and Gwen gets it, and immediately knows Charmcaster had something to do with it, so she asks Mandark to get to her on Pimpleback Mountains so they can discuss about it;

Mandark is against the idea, claiming the book is only "a mistake his younger self used when he didn't know better";

Gwen manages to convince him, so they meet at her station to talk about it;

The girl is disappointed he can't remember how he got it, but also realizes Charmcaster might have altered his memory, so she tries to detect magic around him and almost has an heart attack finding out he has MORE than she expected;

She immediately feels he is an anodite and that his powers are right there, ready to pop out anytime, but he keeps repeating it is impossible because his parents are just normal humans;

Gwen manages to convince him to try something, and with ease manages to have him form a mana energy ball in his hand;

She's excited about it but Mandark just freaks out and she has to calm him down. She actually explains him how mana works and they end up talking the whole night, not only about mana and magic, but about the universe, science, the war, dreams and fears. The next day Mandark goes back to Tech Square being... actually happy. Not about magic itself, he still doesn't want to use it. But that he actually found a... new friend. His very first friend.

Mandark makes her promise not to tell anyone about magic powers or the fact he is an alien magic being, because he wants to first study the thing himself and find out where this could come from;

Because of the war he doesn't have time or resources to investigate it, so it's a thing that's gonna come back when the war is over.

The rest of the headcanons come from my other "5 years after the war" headcanon, where Mandark starts a long journey to understand and accept himself completely and finally be happy with who he is.

Let me know what you think!

#fusionfall #dexter's laboratory #ben 10 #cartoon network #gwen tennyson #mandark #headcanons #anodite mandark #aduahrt

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electronickingdomfox · 9 months ago

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"The Wounded Sky" review

Novel from 1983, by Diane Duane (I had read some TOS comics, and even played a text adventure by this same author, but this is the first novel I read). Very bizarre, very imaginative. You'd probably have to go back to "Planet of Judgment" (1977) to find a similarly unusual TOS novel. Most of the "action" unfolds inside mental landscapes (and that's not even a proper description; the situation is actually far more complex than that). At times poetic, at times metaphysical, it's a more difficult novel than the standard TOS light literature, though there are also many humorous moments.

The aliens are remarkable for how truly "alien" they are, which produces lots of absurd (from a human viewpoint) situations. There's a species who only see in infrared, and needs properly heated cards to play poker. A feline alien that doesn't have language to express the passage of time. Another species with twelve sexes, all of them male (specially the ones who bear children). And glass spiders with an altogether different understanding of physics, who spend a lifetime building a nest of memories to pass to their offspring, and then die at the time of mating. I haven't read any novels by Terry Pratchett, though I know about Discworld from the videogames, but may I say there's something "pratchean" in all this?

In many ways, this is a fascinating novel. But is it a good representative of a Trek novel? I'm not sure. I feel the scope and the depth of this story is a bit constrained by the Trek frame. The TOS series, and even the movies, had a smaller scope: interpersonal problems, specially among the big three, or political conflicts. The aliens were usually very human, and represented different human societies/worldviews. Even when more alien creatures appeared, like the gas cloud from "Obsession", the story was really about Kirk's very personal demons. So maybe this novel would have benefitted if it was set in its own, independent sci-fi world, that provided the needed freedom to explore the larger cast and variety the story strives for.

I'll try to summarize the plot, though this is over-simplifying, since "themes" are more important here than "action". Spoilers under the cut:

The Enterprise is tasked with testing a new revolutionary invention, that will allow ships to travel instantly as far as they want, even outside the galaxy. The artifact in question works by "inversion", sending the starship to a different dimension where time doesn't exist, and popping it up again at the desired coordinates. Since there's no time involved, there's no damage done to ship and crew. Theoretically. Well, what could possibly go wrong?

They take aboard the artifact, along with its Hamalki inventor: K't'lk (pronounced "ketelk", I think). She's the glass spider from the cover, and thus far, takes the prize for most unusual "lady of the week". K't'lk soon becomes best friends with Scotty, though the engineer struggles to understand the nutty physics of the Hamalki. For his part, Kirk has a conversation with her about the reproductive habits of her species, during which K't'lk weaves a strange crystal sculpture, and gifts it to him. She also makes a demonstration of the inversion process, without changing the ship's coordinates. But Kirk can't feel anything, except a vague dizziness.

However, soon after leaving the starbase, the Enterprise is attacked by Klingon ships which desire the inversion apparatus. Sulu manages to outmaneuver them, sending the Klingons into a nearby star, which becomes nova right then. The Enterprise escapes the explosion in the nick of time, by activating inversion and leaving the normal plane of existence. And this time, the crew has indeed strange (but blissful) experiences during inversion. For example, Kirk finds himself living as if he was the starship itself, and this had a conscience of its own.

Upon reappearing in the normal universe, they find out the explosion somehow messed up the coordinates, so they're not anywhere near the Lesser Magellanic, which it was their mission to investigate. Also, the nearby star is going nova too. Coincidence again? Activating inversion once more, this time they're placed in the correct coordinates. But with each subsequent, longer jump, the inversion experiences are becoming weirder, and individuals start merging with other crewmembers, and seeing things from their viewpoint.

Finally, things get more sinister once Kirk reappears with real wounds, that he thought were just the product of his mind. And even worse, the Lesser Magellanic, now nearby, is showing the most disturbing anomalies. Entropy has simply ceased to exist at some points. And it seems the longer jumps with the inversion apparatus have caused this, by ripping the fabric of the universe. Thus, a new universe without entropy is sipping through the tear, and threatens to destroy everything. (It's funny how the problem in "The Entropy Effect" was that they had too much entropy, while here they have too little. If they just left it alone...).

K't'lk is sure she can close the rip between both universes, but to do so, they'll need to make a final jump right at the center of the anomaly. The climax of the story happens entirely inside the mental world of inversion. Which is highly malleable by thought, given the progressive rupture of natural laws. Also, the flux in entropy is represented by ascencing and descending slopes in the landscape. However, they can't close the rip immediately, since they discover a living, god-like being (called simply "the Others"), who would be destroyed in the process. Before that, Spock must join in a group mind-meld with other crewmembers, to give the Others self-awareness, and explain the situation. K't'lk must also stay behind with the god, to weave new natural laws for Them to live in. And she puts forth this universe by singing (echoes from Tolkien's "Silmarillion"? might be, since a forest called "Lorien" appears at one point).

Once everything's fixed, and the Enterprise is back in Federation space via smaller jumps (that won't mess up the universe too much), Starfleet decides that the inversion apparatus is way too dangerous in its present state, and must not be used. Meanwhile, everyone misses K't'lk. But when Kirk accidentally breaks the crystal sculpture that she gave to him, he discovers it was actually an egg. A new, small K't'lk emerges from it, and quickly runs to greet Scotty.

Spirk Meter (or rather McSpirk): 5/10*. During inversion, Kirk gets to see Spock and McCoy's true, deepest natures, and he's in awe with what he finds. First, he's blinded by McCoy's compassion, and the doctor's touch on his arm both reassures and bewilders him. Then Kirk is humbled by Spock's desire of knowledge and his superior mind. The three of them are relieved to find such good qualities in the others' souls. However, the scene is quite abstract, and seems to be dealing more with the characters as ideas, rather than as specific persons. So I don't find it all that slashy really.

As for Spones as such, there's the moment when Kirk finds them walking together, while inside the anomaly, and Spock looks at McCoy with "nearly unalloyed affection". Kirk also considers that McCoy is more geared towards receiving, in contrast to Spock's inclination for giving... How convenient for them!

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

#star trek tos #star trek novels #novel review #spones #mcspirk

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year ago

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You've done what ifs where Aro or Carlisle swapped places with Dumbledore, but what if the protagonists swapped roles instead? Harry Swan and Bella Potter? How would that go?

Anon's referring to this post as well as this post.

Caveat That Bears Repeating

I've said this a number of times in these kinds of posts already, but the thing is that backstories matter. Harry and Bella don't just pop into existence, informed by nothing, they all have histories that lead them to where they end up in canon.

Bella has her parent's messy divorce, her alienation from her father, her irresponsible mother, as well as the socialization of being an American girl in the early 2000's.

Harry is an orphan physically and mentally abused by his surviving relatives, at the age of eleven he suddenly discovers that in a secret society he's bigger than the Beatles, he's a young British boy in the early 1990's who then is thrust into the wizarding world culture.

My point is that as much as I can theorize what Bella or Harry would be like in the AU where Bella's now a British girl living in a cupboard beneath the stairs and Harry's now living with Renee, it's just me handwaving and guessing.

I really don't know with these things.

With that said, we can try.

Bella Potter

We'll say the Dursleys pull the exact same shit with Bella as they would Harry. I imagine Bella's almost New Moon levels of depressed at eleven.

She thinks she's ugly and is purposefully made so by her relatives (given bad haircuts, clothes that don't fit, probably Dudley's castoffs making her look more tom-boyish and less 'cute' than what might be acceptable), she's told her parents were drunks and losers, and her family despises her and thinks she's stupid and a waste of space.

I imagine Bella often contemplates whether it'd be better if she'd never been born in the first place. Where Harry reacted with anger, I imagine from what we see of canon, Bella crumples in on herself.

Then she discovers she's a witch, that weird scar on her forehead that she always tries to cover a sign of her defeating You-Know-Who, and that her parents were wonderful people.

Bella waits for the other shoe to drop, for people to realize she's a phony, that she's not cool, special, pretty, or anything any of these people seem to believe she is based on nothing. Worse, Bella would want to come clean, but she doesn't want to lose any of this.

Hagrid is treating her nicely, on the train that boy Ron genuinely seems to like her and think she's cool and interesting, she has friends and people think she can do things.

Bella's terrified of being found out as a fraud which makes her more nervous than Neville in trying to use magic (especially in Potions where Snape mercilessly bullies her and thus makes her even worse than she otherwise would have been).

However, this gets in the way of typical Harry adventures, as Bella to the best of her ability keeps her nose down and out of trouble (as then everyone would hate her again). As a result, she doesn't save Hermione from the troll, Ron eventually gets bored of her and thinks of her as another girl, she doesn't go after the Philosopher's Stone or later involve herself with the Chamber of Secrets debacle.

Voldemort gets the stone offscreen (likely eventually able to get through the enchantment on the mirror) and is able to resurrect himself at which point Bella is terrified as everyone's now expecting her to do something about it.

"I am twelve?" Bella asks, then cries because she's not a magical princess like everyone wants her to be.

Harry Swan

Where Bella is depressed, Harry is angry.

Harry's not happy about moving to Forks but it was made clear he didn't have much choice. He's very bitter with Renee about this and bitter at Charlie in general for being an absentee father. He's ready to take on the whole school, gossiping all about him he's sure, and spit in their faces.

Unlike Hogwarts, as he doesn't want to be here and doesn't have good preconceptions, it's the equivalent of him being told he's going to Malfoy Boarding School in Malfoy County, to a place where he's sure to hate the people and they're sure to be looking for any weakness. (Remember, Bella did not at all have a good perception of Forks or its people).

He, in fact, immediately does so just to make sure they know where he stands. Yeah, he knows his mom ran off, what about it? I imagine he gets in a fist fight with Mike Newton on his first day, Harry is labeled a delinquent.

He catches a look at the Cullens and thinks they're rich freaks and weirdos who moved to this nowhere town. Charlie is at his wits end with Harry and utterly unsure how to deal with him as most the kids in town don't make this kind of trouble.

Unfortunately for Harry, he catches Edward's interest, unfortunately for Harry, with his outspoken anger and bitterness he's not Edward's type.

There's only two doors for someone with the smell, Edward takes the door labeled "eat me, I'm delicious".

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #harry potter #anti harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #meta #headcanon #opinion

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leohtttbriar · 1 year ago

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I would have loved to see Jadzia central episodes after she got together with Worf, and ones that's didn't focus on their relationship only. There was so much more to her before and then it seemed like being very immersed in everything Klingon was one of her very few traits.

yes--I absolutely agree. probably not the first to say it. she becomes this quirky, hot sidekick/girlfriend in season 5. how they wrote worf and dax getting together was cute and "screwball comedy" but they sort of tried to keep up that energy but not as successfully (screwball banter is cute only when both parties are getting jabs in equally, and dax seems to just smile like worf is being cute when he accuses her being ridiculous all the time)(like i said, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't)(it's just when it doesn't, worf comes across as annoying and dax comes off as Not a person). she's around quite a bit, offering her quips and support and playing her role in other people's journey's...

but episodes that are about her and depend on some issue she has within herself are not present after the romance. not like "rejoined" or the episode where she's being accused of murder bc of curzon. of course, of the episodes that are about her in previous seasons, all of them except "rejoined," arguably, are about her struggling with some past self. while i think the character can go beyond that simple sci-fi-what-if design (like, for example, i think spock goes beyond the alien-conceit in most of the spock-centric episodes), i found myself missing even that watching everything after she and worf get together. if they had even drawn out that romance and showed her genuinely trying to get worf's attention for more than one or two episodes, that would've been more interesting then what ended up happening.

i also sort of get that ds9 isn't so much the "new world" part of star trek as the "new civilization"---that is, it's mostly focused on ongoing diplomacy and war plots with the same handful of richly made-up peoples. but they managed in previous seasons to still write episodes about discovery and scientific work. in season 5, scientific work all seems to be focused on julian, due to the exigency of his role, rather than dax, or both of them. like, within the typical star trek roles to play, the science officer drives the fun discovery and new-weird-stuff plots. instead of episodes about any of that in season 5, though, there's a lot of quark and odo and sisko and julian and worf all juggling their various definitions of identity. (miraculously, dax never seems to waver in that regard. with kira, it's debateable.) which. fine. it was all interesting.

i do think that the show still manages to show dax as someone particular and complex--the writing just doesn't genuinely explore any of it after writing the worf/dax relationship. the moments she does have in episodes not about her are for the most part very good and very interesting and she provides context and wisdom and motive in the way her role dictates. but the fact that i think her character is so fascinating and has so many rich options for sci-fi storytelling only makes the absence of stories focused or driven by her all the more frustrating to me. there's only so many episodes about odo's feelings i can retain interest in.

maybe give jadzia a planet to explore with a bunch of geode formations that emit a protein that causes mutations within biological creatures to cease which somehow causes changelings to crystallize while the protein is in their system and jadzia has to fight on behalf of the planet to just exist so it's not turned into a super-weapon against the dominion and this turns into a struggle with basically her and julian against everyone (they're the most idealistic) and causes real tension between kira and dax for the first time ever and sisko has to say something about how life is sacred and resources are sacred and one has to choose and then dax does something that can't be taken back and the creatures give her a small geode/collection-of-geode-creatures in thanks and she carries it around like she carries all her past-selves.

(which would then justify the way worf constantly seems to characterize her as impulsive and impractical or whatever. bc she did this one dramatic thing that no one can now forget about her. and she just takes it bc she would do it again. and the audience just doesn't know who to agree with.)(but that would make her person with deep conviction and interiority and some perhaps truly un-likeable traits. instead of the hot, smirky-quirky jester that gets men 18-24 to tune the fuck in once a week.)

#i did just watch children of time though and if there is a dax-centric episode this season that's it (loved it)#even if the resolution of the plot is determined by odo and not her (i still loved that episode)#ds9 #star trek #jadzia dax #obviously i'm just going to have to finish my stranded on a planet kiradax fic #be the change you want to see in the world etc.

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year ago

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reading update: june 2023

as promised (to myself) I spent all of gay months reading books by and/or about the gays, no exceptions! (unless you count the heaps of old Batman comics I was reading, but come on. it's all pretty fruity.) the trend will be continuing into July as well because I overshot and still have book I need to finish, so in the immortal words of Janelle Monáe: happy pride forever!

anyway, what have I actually been reading?

Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone, 2019) - man, I've been meaning to read this FOREVER! and I'm glad I finally did. Gladstone's space opera follows ultrawealthy tech genius Vivian Liao, a sort of dykey Lex Luthor who's CERTAIN that she's the good guy. okay, yes, she's trying to get control of the nukes, but she's not going to use them. it's just that the world's a mess and she needs to be in charge. unfortunately our girl Vivian doesn't get far in her master plan before she's transported across the galaxy and finds herself on the run from the all-powerful Empress in the company of a cybernetic monk named Hong and the legendary space pirate Zanj, the Empress' greatest enemy. from there our heroes are off on a slow, messy quest across the galaxy as they make new friends, grow as people, and strive to bring the Empress down. it's a very long book and can feel slow in places, but all of the time devoted to fleshing out the characters ultimately pays off as their stories converge into a resonant narrative about the notion of identity and what it means to be yourself. if you like Becky Chambers' Wayfarer books of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, get on this shit.

also hey listen Max Gladstone is having a bit of a Moment rn; the book he coauthored with Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War, is getting a huge boost thanks to the Trigun (????) fandom??? over on Twitter, and you should definitely go check it out

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2016) - Ward is a brilliant queer feminist writer; rigorous and insightful while keeping her work imminently readable. while the title may sound facetious, Ward actually takes entirely at face value that there are men having sex with each other an engaging in otherwise homoerotic activities - mutual jerkoffs, hazing rituals that involve anal penetration - that sincerely aren't stemming from a place of gay desire and asks us what the fuck we're supposed to make of that. what results is a fascinating look at masculinity and the intricate rituals that both subvert and maintain it. shockingly thought provoking for a book that contains so many transcribed craigslist posts of men looking for straight guys to have totally normal hetero dudesex with!

The Latinos of Asia: How Filipinos Break the Rules of Race (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2016) - I was lucky enough to get to see Ocampo (who is gay) speaking at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity this year, and naturally I had to buy one of his books while I was there. I strongly suspect he's about to become one of my new favorite nonfiction writers, because the Latinos of Asia was a brilliant read that I really couldn't put down. Ocampo (who's also Filipino!) delves into the formation of Filipino-Americans' racial identity, and finds that many feel caught between the most conventionally accepted racial categories - feeling alienated from the idea of Asian identity, which is often perceived as pertaining to East Asians like Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, and instead relating much more firmly to Mexican-Americans and other Latinos. it's a FASCINATING study on race and one (of many!) loopholes that exists in this very large, messy, totally made up construct of race.

A Lady for a Duke (Alexis Hall, 2022) - for my pride month romance novel I wanted to read something that I might actually like. I've previously adored Hall's genre-fucking ultra-queer Sherlock Holmes pastiche, the Affair of the Mysterious Letter, and Lady for a Duke was really well-reviewed, so my hopes were high! and you know what? I fucking loved this. it was like cotton candy, perfectly sweet and made to be inhaled without a second thought. Our Heroine Viola was the heir to an estate who faked her death at Waterloo so that she could run away and be herself - that's right baby, this is a 19th century trans lady romance! she reconnects with her old BFF the Duke of Gracewood, who's been catatonically depressed since losing his best friend in the war, and reader, you will not believe what happens next. just kidding, you totally will: they want to kiss each other so bad! they're yearning so bad and it's great. it's a very silly book and Gracewood is the most unexpectedly forward-thinking 19th century duke EVER who is instantly down to accept Viola entirely as a woman and thinks that having biological children is overrated, and you know what? that rules. I'm not reading this book for historical accuracy I'm reading it to watch a man beg his girlfriend to fuck him tenderly in the ass. and she does!!! if I'm being honest everything after they finally hook up is kind of nonsense and the book probably is too long, but god it's a delightful time.

Chlorine (Jade Song, 2023) - back in the days of twitter I started following Jade Song as soon as they announced selling this book, the story of a competitive high school swimmer succumbing to obsession as she fantasizes about becoming a mermaid. finally getting to pick up the book from the library and actually read it felt crazy after existing in potentia for so long! while Song's novel is a little rough in some places in exactly the way I expect from a debut, it's still gripping and visceral. our protagonist lives in an intense and demanding world, striving to please an overly handsy coach, wanting to please the immigrant parents she can barely speak to, stumbling through sex with boys on her team while longing for her female best friend. through it all she fixates on mermaids, and the story is told in flashbacks building up to a drastic act of self-mutilation at a swim meet. it's definitely not the right book for the faint of heart or anyone looking for feel-good fluff, but it's harrowing in the best way.

Vagabonds! (Eloghosa Osunde, 2022) - gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! Osunde celebrates queer life - those called vagabonds, society's outliers - in Lagos, Nigeria, slipping between the real world of social stigma, oppressive religion, judgmental family, and dangerous politics, and the world of magic, gods, and the unreal, blending the two together in an effortlessly dizzying effect. the ultrawealthy hide behind layers of flawless masks to conceal their identities, a lonely woman dying of cancer summons up a daughter than only she can see, and a young man channels the devil to raise his murdered lover. while the stories start bleak, firmly establishing the danger of life on the margins, they gather speed with increasing warmth and love as the story progresses, eventually bringing all of our protagonists together in glorious, life-affirming celebration of vagabonds and all who love them. Nigeria, in Osunde's hands, reads much like family - imperfect, sometimes even awful, but also capable of harboring tremendous love, surprising tenderness, and still worth holding out hope for. I think measuring books in terms of relatability is a fool's game, but as an American queer watching more and more legislation and persecution roll out against my people each day, it was hard not to feel a cord being struck. Vagabonds! is a beautiful reminder that queer resilience is eternal, and reader, I did cry.

Quietly Hostile (Samantha Irby, 2023) - I was a ride or die bitch for Sam Irby even before she picked up and moved to my small Michigan city, effectively becoming my neighbor. (not really, but she is married to the mother of a friend of a friend, so.) despite this, I will freely admit that I was a little underwhelmed by her last release, 2020's Wow, No Thank You. it's possible that WNTY was damned by its March 2020 release, putting it in the awkward position of being a humorous essay collection creeping out into the world at a time when everyone was paranoid and nothing was funny; maybe on a reread I would receive it a bit more warmly. Quietly Hostile, on the other hand, is just stupid funny right out of the gate. Sam Irby is old (see: in her early 40s) and going downhill, writing candidly about peeing her pants everywhere, adopting a rancid little dog, getting sent to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction, and jacking off to plot-heavy porn of elderly lesbian nuns. it takes a little bit of work to get me to actually laugh out loud at a book but man, I was chortling. if you don't already know her work, this is a sign from god (me) to check Samantha Irby out now.

what am I reading now?

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - the was one of the oldest queer novels(TM) on my list and I really wanted to knock it out for pride month. the Malaysian setting and culture is a welcome addition to contemporary urban fantasy, but I'm not sure I'm crazy about the story overall. and yet, I'm over 200 pages deep and don't want to give up, so ? I guess I'm persisting.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - my local library lost their copy just in time for pride month, so I bought one on ebay for all of nine dollars. haven't started yet, but I'm really excited to finally pop that proverbial Baldwin cherry!

#bookblr #reading updates

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