#how the FUCK do you do read more links on the mobile app again

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

you don't need an AO3 app - round 2!!!

"AO3 is ugly and I hate the formatting!" -> you can download site skins. very gorgeous ones. and you can use them to change the aesthetics and visuals of AO3. just search 'AO3 skin' on Tumblr or even on google and you will be in A Whole New World. (and those searches should yeild tutorials on how to install the skins as well - it's not something I know a lot about, because I used to primarily use Quizilla and FFN, so I am more than used to Ugly Website. AO3 is very aesthetic and pretty compared to those.)

"AO3 is too bright!!! it hurts my eyes!!!" -> there is a dark mode. scroll down to the bottom. there is a heading that says 'customize'. under this heading, hit the button that says 'reversi'. that is their version of dark mode. and again, you can look for site skins that you like that have a darker background.

"I want to be able to make reading lists!" -> you can make bookmark collections on AO3. In your bookmarks, there is a button that says 'add to collection' beside each work. have fun. go ham. (Also, you can make private bookmarks if you are reading something with more controversial content that you don't really want others to know about - and please know, that any bookmark comments you make on public bookmarks can be seen by the author.)

(this last one made me laugh - because it seems like people are just coming up with bullshit excuses to 'need' an AO3 app when there is literally nothing that an app can go that AO3 can't.)

"my memory is really bad because of reasons sooo I remember to use things better by having them on my homescreen like an app!!!" -> create an AO3 shortcut on your homescreen. most mobile browsers have the capability to put a shortcut to a specific link or a specific website on your homescreen so that you can go straight there - like you would with opening an app. and it can be labelled 'the AO3 app' while simply having the icon of that browser. you can even do this with a link to a specific fic that you are in the process of reading (even down to the specific chapter that you were on). there is literally 0 reasons to have or use an AO3 app.

and remember kids!!! any and all apps with AO3 in their title are not associated with the real archiveofourown in any way, shape, or form - they are unofficial, and technically, they are illegal. and using them is putting all fanficition writers at risk legally (even if there is no active lawsuits right now) - just don't fucking use them. it is a threat to the entire fanfiction hobby just because you want 'the app experience'.

the archive is a non-profit website with 0 ads for a reason, and those apps are scummy scammers who put ads on our stories to make fast easy money when none of the people who made those stories ever consented to it.

[pokemenlovingmen]

Okay!! I was able to counter act the links being funky in my app by opening your blog in my mobile browser!!!! so I was able to read your rules n stuff so now I can finally request (yusss!!! also, I saw the "ingo,,, again" under the PLA characters you write for and it made me think "ingo 2,,, electric boogaloo" heheheh. also yeah fuck kamado, all my homies hate kamado)

okay, could I please request a lil drabble (if you only do hc's thats fine of course! I just couldnt find it clearly if you only do hc's) of Adaman taking care of a reader who is on bed rest and healing? the exact stuff of how and what is up to you, for me its more so the comfort and caring side, not so much the angst side (so like, nothing thats like "omg reader was near death" pls?). gender of the reader I dont mind, just do what youre most comfortable with and yee!! thank youuuu

Hi you’ve been such a kind supporter I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you!! And yeah. Fuck Kamado. That exile would have been my villain origin story if the game gave me more agency, I swear to god.

And conversely, we love Adaman. They put him in pokemas and my quality of life has improved significantly <3

Oh and I’m sorry about the lack of clarity of what I do! I do only HCs, but at the level of detail I can’t stop myself from including, they’re kinda like a weird fusion between drabble and headcanons.

Healing Takes Time — Adaman x M!Reader

💎 — Hisui is a dangerous place and injuries ranging from minor to severe are all too common. So Adaman’s not exactly a stranger to presiding over loved ones on bed rest.

💎 — Doesn’t mean he’s good at it, though.

💎 — Mai reminds him that the slow passage of time is just as important as things that happen in the quick, efficient manner that he prefers as well. It’s not a slight from Mighty Dialga being displeased, it’s just the nature of time. But he can’t just stand around when it comes to your health! Yes, rest takes time, he’s aware, but all this waiting feels the same as doing nothing to him.

💎 — Mai basically has to keep him away from you constantly because he’s always fretting over you, which is definitely sweet of him even if it’s not exactly helpful, but it is funny to watch the cartoonish shenanigans of Mai trying to constantly shoo Adaman away from the medical tent.

💎 — Even if what you’re recovering from isn’t serious, you’d never be able to guess that from how he behaves.

💎 — He essentially becomes your primary nurse and seldom lets you out of his sight if he can help it (thanks to Mai being the reasonable one, he usually can’t).

💎 — Once things calm down though, after the first two or three days when your recovery progress is becoming quite apparent, he’s less frazzled and more willing to leave you be. He just can’t help that impatience winning out, though, sometimes.

💎 — He’ll be there to help you with maintaining yourself while you rest, sitting beside your futon while you recover, brushing your hair so you don’t have to, keeping a fresh cold compress on you at all times if the problem is that you’re sick and feverish, changing your bandages if it’s an injury, all that.

💎 — If you’re okay with it, he’ll also happily bring his Leafeon to see you for some good old fashioned grass-type aromatherapy. I know Leafeon can’t actually learn the move aromatherapy, but it’s clearly made of plants and must have some kind of floral/herbal smell.

💎 — And since we know he is a house husband in the making guy with an interest in cooking, you bet he’ll be bringing you all manner of home-cooked meals.

💎 — He’s so dutiful, oftentimes he doesn’t go back to his own tent for the night and will instead fall asleep on the cold floor next to your futon.

💎 — Adaman is very sure to keep you abreast of all goings-on in the clan, usually nothing much of interest, but he does uncharacteristically bring you all sorts of gossip. It’s not that he likes to gossip, but while you’re bedridden he can’t think of much to entertain you with so this is what he’s settled on. And also he probably would like to vent his multitude of frustrations with Melli specifically because you just know 3/5 instances of drama involve some kind of category 5 Melli moment.

💎 — Once you start to recover and leave your bedridden state, he’s still just as present as he was before.

💎 — If it was an injury he’s always making sure you’re not overexerting yourself, and if it’s something that happened to your legs, he’s volunteering to help you walk around so you don’t put too much pressure on the injury.

💎 — For illness he’ll always be on your case about taking whatever medicines/remedies you were instructed to, because your recovery has already taken ages (to him) already, and he’s not sure he can bear seeing you sick for much longer.

💎 — Regardless of the reason you’re bedridden, he’ll always give you a kiss on the forehead when he enters the tent and before he leaves—though if you’re sick, he musters the self control to wait. Ideally he can keep that up, but he might get a little impatient… oh well. He needs to remind you how much he loves you, and if he ends up getting what you have, he knows you’ll care for him just as dutifully as he did you.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

HI i'm a tommyinnit factive and this is where I go feral !!! I have a misce submission sideblog called @justomegathingss as well but it's mostly inactive because no one ever submits to it lol

I co-host with my in system husband @septiccoffeefreak so we're in front 90% of the time, we're v clingy so we're always co-con or co front lol. I also write septicinnit fanfic w him and I draw fanart so,,,, both posts w us specifically and the general septicinnit RPF ship will be here. u've been warned!!

I have no DNI but I block freely!! I also am pro RPF and proship ("ship and let ship") so like,, if u wanna block me about that u should do dat- I don't post dark content really or consume it because I don't like to personally?? so that won't be on my blog!!! But it's worth noting I support people's right to MAKE that content, and i don't think someone making or consuming dark content means they condone it IRL.

BLOG NAVIGATION (these links may not work on mobile- app users can use search instead):

#i made a textpost

#asks

#tommy's og art

OTHER (these links are fine on mobile lol):

Portfolio and Comissions

Me and Seán's Ao3 account

Linktree

my old pinned (colourful!!! silly!!! beloved!!! but hard to read and even longer than this one) is under the cut for preservation

OK INTRO POST WHEE!!!!!!

Hewwo besties. hello girliepops. hello boys, hello gamers, hello homestuckers and evil little creatures it is me!!!! hi!!! HELLO hi hi hi!!!! a million hellos forever and ever and....

okay fine sorry, just one last hi: hi!! I'm a Tommyinnit factive in a system and I do art sometimes!! I also play a lot of animal crossing like way too much animal crossing like my autism has me in a chokehold i play it everyday. I use he/him pronouns :3. and I am MARRIED.

My husband, Seán, is a Jacksepticeye factive in the same system as me!! we cohost/cocon together and I love him SO MUCH and I infodump about him and his source sometimes so. BE WARNEDED!!!! his acc is @septiccoffeefreak if you want to go acknowledge how fucking cool and awesome he is which you SHOULD!!! We came up with the septicinnit shipname actually!!! And write the first fics for it!! So understandably I am absolutely FERAL about it like biting clawing going insane feral. my babygirl...

I don't hold myself to a blog theme but I tend to post a lot of decora and cutesy rainbow things on this blog, as well as memes and videos I found on my feed!!! and sometimes!!! if ur lucky!!! I post an omegaverse post!!! (check out @justomegathingss for more as well) or like an actual hot take on the universe!!! though again usually it is just reblogs of sanrio characters and decora fits lol. I also of course post a ton of my art and some original posts where I go feral about something or other and scream really really loud to my terrified (but intrigued and entranced) followers. expect the unexpected. be prepared for chaos

I have no DNI for my blog, but I will block u if I decide that having you unblocked makes my internet experience sucky in some way. this is my little corner of the internet an i will customize it in whatever silly way makes my brain go brrrr

The Magical Special Poggers Tags, with which you can Navigate my Blog:

#Tommy's OG ART wow - art i made!

#I made a textpost - a combo of original textposts, as well as reblogs I made with text on them!!

#asks - asks i received!!! (asks i sent to someone ELSE and am reblogging the response to would go under #I made a textpost)

If I reblog something without any art or text attached at all, that's gonna be untagged (usefully, anyway)- but I figure if you're hunting through my blog for a post it's probably not a blank reblog anyway.

For more information about me and links to my other socials, look at my Caard, Tommyfactive.carrd.co !!! it has a bunch or really poggers info and links to my pintrest and stuff so like u should totally look at it. U might get coolness poisioning from how cool I am though /j

Commission information Here!!

Printify Store here!!!!!

[roguetiger-ao3]

As a writer I have had the most bizarre couple of weeks… that aren’t over yet.

First of all, apart from one story (which this includes) I write fanfiction. There is such a huge joy in writing for characters we know and love that not even the shame that some would like for us to feel from doing it can quench by treating us as the ‘redheaded-stepchild’ of fandom spaces.

Sigh, as you can probably guess by that, I am going to rant and ramble… move on if you need to. I understand.

The other week I had family visiting. Family that know I write but they don’t know what I write or that I belong to the B in LGBT (they’re right wing when it comes to politics). As usual I was getting ‘advice’ on publishing my stories. Sure, it’s all done from a place of love but having to explain that publishing fanfiction is a huge NO is one thing, going into the wlw part of it is another (no sis, I don’t want your husband reading about two women getting down and dirty with a strap).

I don’t know what I searched for on my phone exactly… sometimes I just like to make sure that my stories aren’t too easily found, Anyway. To my surprise and downright shock, one of my stories came up on a search and it wasn’t Tumblr or AO3 related… is was a app that I had never heard of… Webnovel.

I clicked on the link and after a short search found one of my biggest (in popularity and thickness at 177 chapters) was on the app along with my original character story (published under a name that wasn’t mine).

Over the next couple of days I looked into it further and found that the person that had stolen my original story… and yes, I am going to call it stolen… had taken other peoples work from the original works section of AO3 and started to post them to Webnovel before adding comments to say they were now posting exclusively to another app called Goodnovel.

I reported the theft on both apps and to my delight, Goodnovel took my story down within a day.

Webnovel… those I am still fighting over it.

And that is probably the worst of it.

Their web version and the mobile app have a different reporting system which makes it difficult enough. What makes it harder is that I am a simple, uneducated Brit who has never had to do anything like this. I don’t know what a fucking DMCA report should look like so giving them the links to my stories on AO3 wasn’t enough and neither was sending them photos of the original files on my laptop with dates that match up to the publishing of them on AO3 back in 2017 wasn’t enough.

I contacted their help chat where I was told that the email I’d gotten of the site wasn’t used and that I needed to report it through the app as the site also didn’t have a option to report plagiarism. I did that and still it stayed up. I contacted them again where I was put of the chat version of hold for so long I ended up being cut off and having to start again. Finally I was told I needed to fill in a DMCA but that the email I’d used was okay, it was apparently getting blocked because I hadn’t sent in the right thing.

BUT THEY NEVER TOLD ME WHAT A DMCA SHOULD LOOK LIKE! ALL THEY HAD WAS A VAGUE, COMPLICATED HINT ON THEIR SIGHT THAT STILL GOT ME NOWHERE WITH THEM!

I contacted them the other day (just to make sure they had got it) and got the same person as I did the first time. Once more they told me I could only do it through the app but I was ready with a screen shot of what the last one had said about the email being okay so now I just have to wait 2-3 days.

I am an older (aka stubborn) woman with time on my hands to fight. I can’t imagine how confusing and discouraging it would be for someone younger to have to go through all that (and I still don’t know if they will fix it yet).

And all because so asshole decided that they would try to make money off what someone else has written. Cause that is what they can do with the original stories. They just copy and paste and get paid for it.

I really don’t know where this rant is going.

If you can, try and educate yourselves about DMCA’s, maybe keep a copy of one available just in case… don’t fall for sites that say they will do them for a fee when there are sample forms online.

It is sickening and disheartening to live in a time where the things we create are taken and stripped down by AI for others to profit from, and can be flat out stolen and posted for money by someone else.

I never thought anything like this would happen to me. Those stories took me years to write but I know I am nowhere near good enough to be published or make money off them and still someone stole them.

I’m hating all this waiting to find out if I finally got the right kind of DMCA to satisfy them. And the nightmares I’m getting about what to do if for some reason they decided I didn’t write my stories, are putting a dampener on muses that have been silence by health problems for a year are insane.

FINALLY… If you are someone that gets it into their head to steal someone else’s creations. Be it stories, art… ANYTHING… DON’T!

Something being on the internet does NOT mean that it is yours to take.

But! Fandom is different! Whaaaa! NO IT ISN’T! The characters are copyright, that is why we can’t profit from them but the stories belong to the authors. DO NOT STEAL!

As a PS… Webnovel… Go fuck yourselves! Make a fucking DMCA form available if that is the only fucking form you will look at!

GOD DAMN! I’M PISSED!

[vergilthelibrarian]

Selfish

Yandere!TaeminxGNReader!

Cw: Taemin is manipulative and mentally abusive. (I do not support this type of behavior. It’s just a story and things a bit from my own experiences as well).

Hola ladies 😏 hehe…… anyway I wrote something. Please tell me if you like it, I don’t think I ever wrote a oneshot for Taemin before so like yeah lol

Enjoy ^^

~

Taemin knew he was in the wrong for taking advantage of you at your mentally worse but he always felt as though you wouldn't give him what he wanted if you were at your mentally best.

Which was you.

All of you.

Mind, body, and soul

In Taemin's eyes, you were too good for him but in the situation unfolding right before his eyes, the words coming out of your mouth was telling him the exact opposite.

"I'm not good for you." you cried on the floor, blood trickling down your arm.

"You're right. You're right. They don’t care about me."

Taemin immediately went towards you, stopping right in front of you and getting on his knees.

He grabbed you into a hug, being careful to not touch your deep wound on your forearm.

One of his arms letting for a bit to take the knife sitting next to you and pushing it as far as he can from you.

He knew you'd have an episode at some point again though he didn't expect it to be this bad.

You weren't taking your medication again and instead of encouraging you to take them like he normally did, Taemin started encouraging to not them anymore.

He didn't just outright started telling you to stop of course.

You would alwavs complain about your medication.

About how sometimes they wouldn't work no matter how high of a dosage or how many times you switch.

You were becoming irritated as in your own words; "Every psychiatrist I ever had treats medication like the end all be all. Every time i explain to them why it's not working for me, they just don't listen! It's like talking to a brick wall..."

Those words stayed in his mind and as his feelings for you grew even stronger, the guilt that was present whenever he would entertain the idea of making you stop your medication started dissipating before it completely evaporated.

"If you feel that way, maybe you should just stop taking them?" he suggested to you one day.

Obviously you didn't agree with him at first but then as weeks pass you began not taking your medication.

"You know... if you think your therapist and psychiatrist at that bad, maybe you should stop seeing them? Therapy doesn't work for everyone."

You nodded.

“Yeah.. you're right. I could probably try to find a new therapist and-"

"No!" you eyed Taemin suspiciously at his sudden outburst.

"I mean... you know since you said you always had issues with therapy, why not just stop going?" he chuckled slightly, awkwardness evident in his stiff body.

You bit your lip.

“Taemin I need some sort of help. I can't just stop therapy altogether." you sighed.

"You have me though...” he whispered low enough that you couldn't hear him.

After some time though, you stopped going to therapy.

In fact, you haven't seen a mental health professional in 10 months and in all that time, Taemin has been there for you through it all.

"You're right. I'm just crazy. I'm crazy." you cried hysterically into Taemin's chest from both the psychical and emotional pain.

"Everyone always leaves me."

"That's because they don't care about you as much as I do.”

Taemin once again knew he was very much in the wrong.

Your friends and family did indeed cared for you.

In fact they cared for you so much that they began warning you and even downright telling you to leave the man because he was flat out abusing you mentally though you didn’t believe it.

Taemin would always listen to you when you would complain about your friends and family.

You have gotten into huge fights with them some times and would tell him what they would tell you during those fights.

"My sister really called me a psychotic bitch all because I was freaking out from my paranoia!" you cried one night to him.

"Why would she call me that? She knows I can't control it!"

And like always, Taemin's arms would be wrapped around your body and you could never see his blank expression as he would say, "It's because she doesn't love you as deeply as you do her. She just thinks you're crazy." his voice gentle and soft. “She takes you for granted… but I don’t.”

Though Taemin knew how horrible he was for even driving you to this point where you would mutilate yourself over being (suspiciously) fired from your job, he felt absolutely no guilt.

He had to do this.

He needed for you to be his alone and if that meant destroying your life and mental health in order for him to get what he wanted then so be it.

As you cried hard into Taemin's chest, sanity broken, a little smile grew on your lover's lips.

He finally got you were he wanted you.

You were now truly his.

"You know I'll never leave you." his warm hand rubbed your back, soothing you.

"I love you okay?" he kissed your cheek before pulling back to look you in the eyes, smiling a bit wider as he saw it, doing well to hold back his gleeful giggle.

The exhaustion.

The defeat.

The sad, desperate plea for help all swirling in your eyes.

“Let's go to the hospital so you can get stitched up."

You nodded.

In your eyes, Taemin really was the only one who did truly love you.

And he did indeed loved you.

He was just simply selfish.

"I'm always gonna take of you. You know that."

[joshslater]

Twitching

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

To my surprise people keep joining the stream. Usually it was only my friends and occasionally someone random that watched me play. Space strategy games are not the most audience-friendly. They require you to know a lot about the game mechanics, and they take a long while to play through a full campaign. But all my mates know the game, and are just here to socialize and sometimes provide a tip.

This evening is different though. It had started with some "Lucy333" joining what must have been almost an hour ago. More than 30 minutes for sure. But over the past 10 minutes I've gotten 12 more viewers I think. Suddenly there is a coin sound effect and the chat stream lights up with a donation. $2 from Lucy333 and the text "Hey, spaceboy! Take your shirt off!"

I can instantly feel myself blushing. I'm flattered for a few milliseconds. I'm aware of the streams with girls showing lots of skin to get donations. I've never watched any of them. I'm not even aware of any with boys in them, but I know they exist. "Thanks for the donation, Lucy. This isn't that kind of stream though, clearly." I'm just playing for my mates when we don't feel like meeting up or doing something else. And I know I'm not a looker, though not shockingly ugly like Pete. Honestly, if there wasn't a pandemic going on we would probably do exactly the same thing anyway, playing space strategy and talk Marvel.

There is a flurry of responses from the newcomers in the chat. "Do it! Do it!" says one Donnatrix. "It could be that kind of stream," says fluffy2000. Soon my mates start cheering on as well. It basically turns into a dare. I'm not proud of my body, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It just is. Fuck it. I don't know what I'm going to be teased for more, if I take my shirt off, or if I don't. I reckon if I do what they ask for they have less ground to stand on. I set the game speed to low, say "Ok then", take off my headset, and pull off my T-shirt.

I'm met with a torrent of cheers in the chat. "Now it is that kind of stream," says fluffy. Donnatrix drops $5 and the comment "YAAAASSS". It feels weird. I can't decide if this is a group of sorority girls that randomly and sarcastically sexualize nerds, or if they are genuinely supportive.

"Thank y'all. Now back to trade route 14 to Zephyr-C". My emissary mission hasn't moved far at this speed. I'm about to increase the in-game speed when I get another $2 donation from Lucy. "Spaceboy, keep the game in slow mode and jump over to Heavenly Bodies."

I have no idea what she is talking about, if she even is a she. Her message is instantly met with a wave of support from the other newcomers. At this game speed it would take hours before I need to take any action, and I'm already up a Whopper meal without having done anything, so I reckon I can play whatever they want me to play for a while. Who knew I was that easily bought? "I don't know what that is," I say into my headset.

A few seconds later Lucy sends me a private message with a TinyURL. "This better not mess with my game rig. If it's porn I'll switch back to the game." I say. "It could be that kind of stream too." fluffy offers in the chat. "He could use some porn tbh" my friend Mike responds. I click the link.

The browser loads something that looks like a web game. It's a character creation screen with a faceless, very neutral model on the screen. Looks like those posable figures you use when learning to draw. There are no controls, except a set of buttons that offers you to upload settings, import from Facebook, and similar. I click the Facebook one, click a few approvals, and a progress bar that only lasts a few seconds appears. When it is gone there is a 3D model of me on the screen. "Wow! This looks just like me." Whatever AI they have combing through my online photos managed to get almost everything right. I'm wearing some sort of speedos, but I don't own any, so that part was a miss, but the model looks spot on. "Whatever else they have in the game, I don't think they are going to top this."

A long list of sliders and customizations appear on the screen. It looks like an incredibly detailed character creation screen. I try moving the height controller and is met with a message box saying I'm out of credits, and that I need $10,000 to change my height to whatever I moved it to. Clearly not real money. "I can't change anything". Lucy responded I need to share it. I exit fullscreen on the game and move the browser over to my other screen so everyone on the stream can see. "No, you need to click the share button in the UI and post the link in the chat", Donnatrix writes.

A big gift-wrapped box appears in the corner of the game window. I click it and it presents the text "Hair color and style" with bold letters and below that a text message from Lucy "I think this will be cute on you." I click accept and the 3D model is updated with new hair. It's dark blonde or whatever the oxymoronic name is for it, instead of my usual rat brown hair. It's short on the sides and on top is a big swooping quiff. It looks utterly silly. "Thanks, nice one," I tell the stream. I see a lot of cheers coming in the chat, but I'm a bit perplexed about the "OMYFUCKING GDO!" from Mike. It's just silly hair.

Immediately a new gift box appears on the screen, and soon after a (2) is added on top of it, possibly indicating two gifts waiting. I find it a little bit cute that these girls are essentially playing with paper dolls, but digitally and modeled after someone real. I open the next gift, "Facial Features" from Julia_Awesome. I click accept again, and the doll on the screen is updated. Weirdly it felt like a flash of heat hit me, like those flame effects on concerts. The doll still looks like me, but pretty fictionalized. The face is much sharper, not just less fat, but probably also some bone structure changes as well. It's equally interesting and disheartening, like one of those really good mobile phone filter apps that makes you into a photo model. Makes you understand how unobtainable the Men's Health cover look really is. "Thank you, Julia, but I'm not sure about this look."

I'm ignoring the chat, though I see it is going bananas. I'll have to read that later when the stream is over. I open the next box. Another two has already arrived. This gift is from Donnatrix and is "Core Body", whatever that means. It feels like a gut punch. Perhaps not that, because it doesn't hurt, but it knocks the air out of me. Almost made me fall out of the chair. I'm confused about what is actually happening though because things don't make sense. My body looks deformed. It takes a moment before my brain stops associating what I see with HR Geiger's nightmarish paintings and start to understand what I really see. My body is suddenly a lot leaner and a hell of a lot more stacked than before. Proper abs muscles like a pan of Hawaii rolls.

I look up at the main screen for the first time in what feels like an eternity. The model on the screen looks ripped as well. How stupid can one person be? I turn to the side monitor and look at the window from the webcam. It's me, all new muscles, strong jaw, and a silly quiff on top.

"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! This is insane! This isn't possible."

"lol, of course not" I see moving by in the chat. I go back to the program. Four more gifts waiting. I look at the model on the screen. I look at the webcam view. "Arms" says the next gift with the text "Promise to flex for me." Well, fuck Zephyr-C and trade route 14.

[bluerosesburnblue]

I genuinely have such a love/hate relationship with Pokemon Home. On the one hand, I think the concept is brilliant. With a franchise as big as Pokemon, a one-stop app that can connect to all of the different games and trade between them without the need for an extra device or anything is a really great idea! But...

Why the hell is the functionality between the mobile and Switch versions so different? Seriously, both versions should have the same functions as each other. Why does only the mobile version have News? Why can I only trade on the GTS on mobile? Why can’t I view the Research Tasks on mobile, or the game-based Pokedexes on Switch? Do the creators have any idea how fucking tedious it is to constantly have to log out of the Switch version, check the mobile version to see which Pokemon I still need to register for the game-specific Dexes, swap BACK to the Switch to register them, etc. (Because you can’t be logged in on two devices at once). It’s ridiculous

Having to manually register Pokemon to Home to register them in the Dex is obnoxious, too. Home can clearly access the game data, can’t I have a “Sync Pokedexes” option where Home reads my Pokedex completion for the game I’m accessing and register all of it at once? Again, so tedious to have to manually put a Pokemon in the Home box and then take it back out just to register it in the Home Dex when, like, I have a 100% completed SwSh Pokedex, and now I have to go and re-register all 600-or-so Pokemon because they only added the game-specific Dexes in the latest update and don’t count previously registered Pokemon, which they should, because clearly the Switch Research Tasks did! Which just loops back to the disparate functionality!

The stupid GTS restrictions on “Special Pokemon.” Like, I’m sorry, I can’t trade any event Pokemon? Hello? Even if this is to discourage uneven trades, why can’t I trade special Pokemon for special Pokemon? I just need a Darkrai to finish up the Legends Dex, and I have several Meltans, so why can’t I trade one of them for a Darkrai? They’re exactly the same level of “Special” according to the system. But, regardless, how is it any of their business if someone wants to trade a Darkrai for a Bidoof? Don’t just straight up cut off all forms of trade for that Pokemon, there’s other options. Like my “Special for Special” suggestion. Or even just a pop-up saying “you’re about to trade away a limited-edition Pokemon that you may never get another one of, do you still want to trade?”

Less of an actual complaint, more of a wish, but if they’re going to have achievements and stickers, I’d love it if you could connect non-main Pokemon games to Home and get little achievements from it. Like a “Registered a Pokemon Masters EX account” sticker with Sygna Suit Red, or linking a copy of New Pokemon Snap and getting all of the Photodex entries added to the Pokedex. Really make it an app for ALL games, you know?

It’s absolutely ridiculous that Home compatibility has not been available for any game upon launch, especially since Home is now the only place you can make direct trades via the GTS. This is the kind of thing they should be working on behind the scenes throughout development so that it’s ready to go on launch, not “Home compatibility coming this Spring for a game released in November, maybe.” If Home’s not ready to go, delay the games a bit or something. But an entire section of functionality should not be missing at a game’s launch

[whitherliliesbloom]

weaving the present, illuminating the future

[ ffxivwrite2021 ] ★ [ masterlist ] ★ [ prompt #30 - abstracted ]

[ illya & friends ] ★ [ 2,849 words ]  ★ [ streamers au ]

modern / streamers / online celebrities au where the spud squad are all popular streamers who frequently collab together. centers around illya and kaye mainly, but briefly mentions a bunch of other friends and illyanaud.

abstracted- withdrawn in mind, inattentive to one's surroundings

the spud squad announce their indefinite hiatus right after releasing their one year anniversary single, and illya cannot help but to feel just a tad bit melancholic.

Illya hasn’t bothered checking her notifications, or looked at either her computer screen or mobile phone, really. The sounds of ping after ping on linkcord, text after text and the flood of new tweets mentioning the one tag she followed on twitter easily made her overwhelmed - and so she’d opted to switch her devices off entirely before burying herself under the covers for the evening, trying desperately to distract herself with a copy of a manhwa that she’d borrowed from Laurelis. 

But it was futile, her head is empty and heavy, yet swirling with a myriad of many emotions all at the same time. And after feebly reading and re-reading the same page over and over only to realize she hadn’t been paying attention to the contents of the book at all, she closed the manhwa shut with a heavy sigh before closing her eyes, praying to the heavens that exhaustion would lull her quickly to sleep.

Outsiders would merely assumed she was simply nervous from the release of their newest single, Ultramarine Hymn, a collaboration between the members of their massively popular streamer group made in celebration for their one year anniversary. They’d prepared for months, working together with a widely renowned music composer and even performing live on stage with a set of professional make up artists, producers and videographers to film their first ever music video.

For everyone barring Mint, it’d been their first time ever singing and dancing for a large audience online. While the experience had been undoubtedly fun, it was still their first real exposure doing anything of such professionalism and scale- and so her flat mate Kaye wasn’t surprised at all to find her shaking like a leaf as she sat next to him on the couch just several minutes prior to the premier of the video.

While the premier of their first music video was indeed a good half of the reason why Illya felt so out of sorts and nervous for the rest of the night up until sunrise, the true reason for the melancholy she bore in her heart came from the announcement that was posted right after the release of the music video, and it’d kept her awake for a good portion of the late night until she mercifully fell asleep, clutching the lavender purple ribbon she’d worn in the music video tightly in her hands.

The spud squad was going to go on an indefinite hiatus shortly after the release of Ultramarine Hymn - a result of an eight months long business trip Kaye had been assigned on as a professional programmer. Streaming and being something of an internet celebrity was never the man’s main source of income, so it’d be unwise of him to turn down the golden opportunity to further his career in favor of staying behind to continue streaming. 

Naturally, Lily was going to move overseas with him as well - and while she has made it clear to her audience that she will continue streaming whenever she could afford the free time to, the radically different time zones between Eorzea and Doma meant it’d be difficult to participate in anymore spud squad activities - at least until she and Kaye would return.

Mint too, announced that she’d been preoccupied with practicing for auditions into several professional idol management companies... and while Illya herself isn’t as busy as the other three, juggling between helping with business at her mother’s florist, studying for an entrance exam into a medical school and streaming on top of that has become quite a hectic endeavor. 

Thus with much reluctance, the six of them came to a consensus and decided to announce their indefinite hiatus, a news that they’d hoped would sit well with their impressively large audience of fans if it came with the release of a music video to remember them by.

Illya knew that it was a necessary change of process - that new doors are being opened for each of them and it was only right for them to seize the opportunity to chase their dreams. Deep inside, Illya truly did feel overjoyed for her friends, loved them all with of her heart so much that the hiatus was but a small fraction of the cost to pay in exchange for their happiness.

But that didn’t mean there wasn’t a hint of melancholy and bitter sweetness within that earnest joy and cause for celebration. None of the six of them knew when they’d next be able to work on something like this again, or if they’d even find the time in the future to work together again at all. It was perhaps because of their shared understanding - that unspoken sadness between all of them that they’d agreed to prepare something special to celebrate one year of their collaboration - a song that spoke of hope and a brighter future. 

‘The more you give up, the more regrets await you.’

By the time the sun rose, accompanied by the shining of morning light through her pastel pink curtains and the melodic chirping of birds nesting upon the wisteria tree just outside her window, her phone has been assaulted with a mountain of unchecked notifications that she dreaded to sort through. 

The girl knew she couldn’t possibly keep her phone locked and switched off forever, and so she’d booted it up after washing up in the shared bathroom, before walking out of her bedroom, staring down at her screen with a light frown.

The smell of fried bacon wafts through the apartment. The sound of sizzling oil intermingles with Hazel’s cheery singing, and Illya takes the time to open the latch of her enclosure, allowing the little sparrow to flutter about the living room until it settled peacefully next to the potted sunflowers that sat upon the window sills of the kitchen, watching the raven haired man flipping eggs effortlessly with a flick of the frypan. 

“Good morning, Kaye. Thank you for making breakfast, again.” Greeting with an ever bright smile, Illya sits herself down at her designated seat at the dining table upon a bright floral cushion, watching as the man turns his head back for a moment before returning his attention to the stove. 

“It’s Sunday, so it’s my turn. You don’t gotta thank me.” He walks over to the dining table to dump the steaming hot sunny side ups and crispy bacon onto their plates, cups of orange juice already poured and waiting, which Illya takes into her hand to take a quick sip out of.

“You checked eorzeatube and twitter yet?” The young man asks as he sets the frypan down, gesturing towards the phone in her hands.

“N-no... Is it urgent?”

“Not really, no.” Kaye raises an eyebrow, sitting himself down and jabbing a fork into his bacon. “But aren’t you curious about how the music video did?”

“I-I am... A little, I suppose... but-” 

Her stammer gives her away her listlessness, and Kaye shoots the girl a furrowed scowl and a frown. 

“Is somethin’ botherin’ you?” The man asks, and Illya’s lips curl upwards into a wide, deceptively warm smile.

“Just nervous is all.. What if the fans didn’t like it?” it wasn’t a complete lie, though not the total truth, but Illya was always exceptionally talented at hiding her negative emotions, and Kaye seems to buy it enough to slump back against the back rest of his chair and toss the bacon into his awaiting mouth, chewing quietly and swallowing before speaking.

“You won’t know till you see for yourself.” 

It’s an unfortunate reality that he’s right, and Illya finally gives in and taps onto the icon for the twitter app, waiting for the timeline feed to load before her star spangled violet eyes widen in complete disbelief.

99+ notifications, an equally unbearable amount of private messages in her inbox as well as the first tweet literally being about the music video - Moth’ir’s retweet of their short promotional video from their official spud squad twitter account, which has garnered over 40 thousand likes and 10 thousand retweets.

#spudsquad and #ultramarinehymn are trending, and Illya gives in to her curiosity enough to tap on the tags and scroll through the tweets.

cosplaycon2022 hype!!! @/oracleoflight  • 18h  my good friend illya and her friends #spudsquad just released #ultramarine hymn and it’s so so so good!!! please give it a watch!! 

EEEEEEEEEE @/driftinintiawind  • 18h @/academician you didn’t tell me your gf was an idol bro???? GOOD SHIT #ultramarinehymn

 pink is JUSTICE @/rosepinkcutie  • 17h OHHHHH I’m goihng to cwyg #ultramarinehymn made me cryuy. iT’S SO GOOD...... #spudsquad i LOVE YOU

Alphinaud @/academician  • 17h Do give your support to #spudsquad ‘s new music video, #ultramarinehymn ! They’ve worked very hard on it!

soliriii @/windupsunshine  • 17h thank you #spudsquad for all the joy you’ve given me for the past year!! what a way to celebrate <3 #ultramarinehymn

hien’s booty @/floortank   • 16h  HEY #ultramarinehymn IS SO LIT THOUGH????? WTF

thancredwaters @/gunbrkrs  • 16h #spudsquad Good job my daughter hasn’t stopped playing this song on repeat for the past 2 hours. 

Nyx @/underthebloodmoon  • 15h Sharing a good friend’s music video here. #ultramarinehymn #spudsquad

Nidhstinien @/azuredragoon  • 15h [youtube link] #ultramarinehymn nice

vergotohelldad @/reveilleur  • 14h only 4 hours after release and #ultramarinehymn is already trending. twitter has some fucking good tastes in music thank the twelve.

Lamittens! @/lalamitt  • 14h Oh to be spud squad long time fan :pleading: I’m so fed... #ultramarinehymn #spudsquad

nhelly @/blackestmage  • 13h I turn around and #spudsquad decided to drop an absolute banger. loving #ultramarinehymn !!

Aymeric de Borel @/officialborel  • 13h A wonderful song that elicits a sense of optimism and hope. #ultramarinehymn

kafuuchi @/cloudsysmile  • 13h hey is it just me or is kaye getting hotter :blush: still a kayelily simp tho!! #ultramarinehymn

KoKomi Komi @/sangopriestess   • 12h @/starblossoms Congratulations on the new MV!! It’s very catchy! #ultramarinehymn

The scroll is endless, timeline filled with a mixture of both familiar and unfamiliar twitter handles, yet all collectively singing praises and awe for the music video and the song. It’s hard to not be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of positive reception their hard work and efforts have received, and Illya tears her eyes away from the screen to look up at Kaye with a twinkle in her wide violet eyes, and the man looks back at her expectedly. 

“I-It...It seems to be very well received.”

“’Seems to be’? The video’s got over five hundred thousand views on eorzeatube from the past 18 hours.”

Illya almost chokes on her eggs, eyes blown wide as she swallows her food abruptly and her voice raises into a high, bewildered squeak.

“F-f-five... hundred thousand???” 

By the twelve, that’s far more than even their highest recorded number of viewers on their biggest stream - and it’s been less than a day since the release of the music video. She cannot imagine just how ecstatic Mint must be at having such a successful idol-esque debut. 

“Does that ease your worries now?” Kaye asks, snapping the girl out of her train of thoughts once more, and he is met with a smile and an affirmative nod in response. 

“It does... thank you, Kaye.” 

Knowing that weeks of preparation, practice and hard work has paid off and finally bore fruit was the biggest relief Illya’s experienced in a while, and the simple knowledge that the sentiment of their song got through to a good number of the fans warmed her heart.

But in the midst of the joy, there was yet an underlying somberness lingering in the air between the pair that was not lost to either of them, as silence quickly fills the atmosphere and quickly turns the space around them cold. 

Scrolling through the top tweets didn’t exactly help either - because while it had quickly eased Illya’s worries of the music video being negatively received, in between praises for the song came the posts of fans who were dejected by the hiatus announcement.

Most of them had been supportive, of course... Their audience has ever been so welcoming, understanding and wonderful to them. But that perhaps made the disappointment they felt even worse on Illya’s melancholy, as she once again quickly slips back into the depths of her own internal mind. 

Because as well received as the music video they’d released is, it still ends with them going their separate ways, and it fills Illya with a sense of already festering loneliness that she refuses to admit verbally to.

She never did like goodbyes. 

‘The time that flows in the blink of an eye. The fear of continuing to be as we are.’

Neither Kaye nor Illya particularly enjoyed talking about their troubles, not even to each other, and so while Kaye could make an educated guess on why Illya seemed so despondent, he makes no comment on it. He was never the best at comforting others anyway.

He lets the silence fester between them even after Illya sets her phone down to focus on her plate full of breakfast, fishing his own device out of his pants pocket and begins to type away at it. 

It isn’t until after a whole ten minutes has passed that he’d finally look up from the screen, expression unreadable yet his voice sounding a modicum more relaxed than it had been a while ago as he calls out to Illya as she was drinking the last of her orange juice. 

“Hey, you’re free tonight, right?” The raven haired man asks, and Illya sets her glass down with a quirk of her eyebrow, if there was even a hint of sorrow in her, she didn’t allow him to hear it.

“Um... I am. Why?”

A smile from Kaye is a rarity, let alone one that carries such gentleness and ease... but the one he’s wearing now is so warm that it blows away the storm clouds that she hadn’t even noticed hanging over her head. 

“Then, are you cool to do an Among us stream tonight? With the other four, of course.”

Sparkling lavender eyes widen, and Illya is silent for a brief moment before stuttering out in response.

“A-aren’t you going over to Lily’s place to help her pack though?? And... the others.. aren’t they-”

“I’ll only be there for the afternoon. We’re only gonna be flying next week so there’s no rush. As for the others, I already asked. You can even invite Alphinaud if you want, the more the merrier.”

“But didn’t we just announce that we’re going on hiatus? I don’t want to trouble the others if they’re too busy either-”

Her pink lips slightly part, voice timid and soft. Hesitation and uncertainty briefly flashing through her twinkling eyes as she averts her gaze from the man and hides them under the shadows of her pure white bangs. But it does little to keep the light red burn of her cheeks and the bridge of her nose from Kaye, who only rolls his eyes at her in response.

“Gods, stop being so nice. I said I already asked and they’re down for it.... well, mostly. Ichi said he wanted to sleep but I’ll drag him outta his bed if I have to. We may be on hiatus, but it’s not like we’re gonna stop hanging out together, right?”

Though Kaye’s tone is rough and his words are painfully honest, his tongue as sharp as the gaze of his midnight blue eyes, Illya knew there was kindness laced beneath his huff, and the tension in her body slowly begins to fade, making way for a brighter, far more honest and radiant smile that washed away the chill of the air like a spring breeze.

He’s right, as he often is. 

Even if they may go their separate ways in the future, they will still always remain connected as friends, holding the memories they made together close in their hearts. 

Her phone’s buzzing with notifications again, and she takes a peek down at the lit up screen, her heart warming at the equally excited messages from her beloved friends. From Mint who is spamming :mikurave: emotes, to Lily who was telling Ichi that no, a schedule with his bed isn’t a valid excuse and Nanami who was offering to set up the stream for the night... Things are all as it should be, right here and now where they are together - where they are home. 

“If everyone’s fine with it then... I’ll join too. Don’t raid Ichi’s flat, though!” 

Illya lets out a giggle that rings out like windchimes in a cool summer breeze, and Kaye clicks his tongue with a shrug of his shoulder.

“He gave me his keys for this exact reason, he doesn’t mind. How do you think he always makes it in time for our streams? All I need to wake him up is a fork and porcelain plate and-”

“Kaye! That’s... that’s so mean-”

‘I'll hug you with equal parts expectation and anxiety. You and I, weaving the present, illuminating the future.’

[oodlenoodleroodle]

Today there was gonna be a Teams distance lecture thing by the graphic designer of a large Finnish art museum talking about the process of making the designs and the look of a big exhibition they have on. I read about the event of their Facebook page a couple days ago and followed the link to their website to learn more. It said there is no need to sign up and that the Teams link will be provided on that page.

Today at the day of the event, about ten minutes before it's supposed to start I went back to that page - which I had left open in a tab - and refreshed to see if the link had been added.

The website did not refresh, it just said connection timed out. I swore and went to find the thing on Facebook again. Click the link again and keep getting a different kind of error message about the database or something. I kept trying and eventually wrote a comment saying the link doesn't work and could you please add the Teams link on Facebook.

They did. But it didn't work on mobile for me - it gave me two buttons: Download Teams (I have it on my phone) and Join meeting. Join meeting button didn't work and like I said, I already have Teams on my phone.

So I begrudgingly opened my computer, went to find the fucking Facebook page again, clicked the fucking Teams link - no launch. I manually opened Teams and pressed the "try again" button in the browser a number of times until the app connected to the meeting.

Guys, I was in the meeting four minutes past the hour it was supposed to start - and they had fucking started the presentation already. Even though they knew fucking well that their shit was not working and people were having a hard time getting on the meeting.

I was pretty annoyed at having missed the start, and then, because I was signed into my Teams, I kept also getting all the notifications about all the other people in the lobby wanting to join the meeting. It was a constant pling-pling-pling and at that point I went "fuck this shit" and quit.

So this is a very vivid how to not do this shit lesson for everyone. Like you can create Teams links weeks, months! in advance, why would you not just put it up? Also directing a lot of traffic to your website at the exact same moment is a stupid-ass idea, just create a fucking Facebook event as well and paste the link in both in advance. Like we have had two years of this shit, how are you so amateurish about this still?? And like after spending 15 minutes trying to get on your fucking broken-ass fucked-up meeting, you didn't even have the decency to wait five minutes before starting???

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 6 Part 8

Part 7

Liam's phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When it rang again, he made a noise of disgust and took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. "It's my publicist. I had better take this."

Liam answered the phone and went outside to talk. I turned the oven on and started to unpack the groceries. Then I got the roast, put it in a baking tray, poured olive oil over the top and seasoned it with salt and some pepper. I got out some onions and garlic and started to cut them up to place around the roast to give it some added flavour.

"That looks great," Liam said when he came back in.

"Thanks," I said, and I gave him a grin. I took the tray and put it in the oven. I got my phone and put an alarm on, giving myself time to cook the veggies before they finished. A thought came to me, and before I could bite my tongue, I said, "They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Really?" Liam licked his lips, looked down at his pants and said, "I'd say they were aiming too high."

It took me a minute to work out what the joke was. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh and hide my face in my hands.

"You've gone so red!" Liam appeared to be having fun with my inability to control my blushes.

"Oh, my God!" I said, still hiding my face and laughing. "Alright, that was funny."

It took me a while to stop laughing. When I did, Liam said sombrely, "Sweetheart, I have to tell you something."

"Uh, oh, it doesn't sound good."

"It's not bad. I don't know how you will feel about it." Liam then told me that his publicist had called to let him know there were pictures put on Instagram and Twitter of the two of us kissing at the pub last night. "Your name hasn't been mentioned, and the photos look to be shot from pretty far away on a mobile, so someone in the pub took the pictures. Sarah says they probably aren't going to tell who you are by the pictures unless someone who knows you well comes forward."

I think if my eyes bulged out of my head any further, they would have fallen out and rolled on the floor. "That quick?" It was all I could think to say.

"Yeah. It's hard to know what will come out and when. A lot of times I go out, and no one notices me, but other times I have paps or members of the public following me for hours."

"Who's Sarah?"

"My publicist." Liam reached across the bench and took my hand in his. "Are you ok?"

"You say they don't know who I am?" Liam nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy but what was I going to do about it? I picked at my nails. I needed to paint them; the pale pink polish was starting to chip.

"You ok?" Liam asked again

I shrugged. "Your life is weird."

Liam chucked. "You keep telling me that."

"So, what happens now?"

"Well, usually Sarah would say to private all social media, but she had a look and said she could only find a Facebook profile for you which was already private. Do you have any others? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat?"

"No. I have a YouTube account that I use to watch videos, but that isn't linked to my real name or email. Also, a Tumblr account, again not associated with my name. And no pictures of me."

"Tumblr?" He raised an eyebrow. His fucking lip twitched.

"I was a confused 22-year-old ok?" I said a bit defensively. "I haven't used it in years," I remembered then the dating site we met on. I quickly logged on and selected the options to hide the account.

"Ok, well, there's not much else right now. A few rags called Sarah for comment. She said the standard no comment and asked for my privacy to be respected. The rest is up to you."

"Up to me?" I asked, confused. "What's up to me?"

"When you want to confirm the relationship and release your name."

"Liam, I met you less than 24 hours ago and have known you only a few months. I'm not ready for that. I like you a lot, but maybe you pick your nose and eat it, and I'll have to dump your arse tomorrow and then it's been a big song and dance over nothing." I joked. The mood had gotten too heavy for me. I wanted to talk about something else.

"Sweetheart, I'd never do that." He smiled sweetly, "I'd make you eat it."

"Ewww!" I screamed.

"Get over here." He chased me around the bench, and after a few evasions and some more squeals, he caught me. Perrin came in through the doggy door and barked at Liam a few times. Our behaviour obviously scandalised him. "Perrin," I called. "Come here, boy."

"You think your dog can save you?"

"Of course, he's very protective of my honour."

"We will see about that." Liam bent over, and I thought he was going to tackle me. Instead of flying backwards, I was hoisted forward and found myself over his shoulder. I screamed as I heard a loud crack, my hands flying to my bum.

"Did you just smack my arse?" I must admit I was finding all the manhandling arousing. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.

"Yes, I did. Want another?" Liam was heading down the hallway, taking me to the bedroom.

I giggled. "No!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Liam quoted. Shakespeare sounded good with his accent. I giggled some more, and I got another one. Yes, very arousing.

Liam hummed. "I quite like the view here." He rubbed my bottom and took me into my bedroom.

I was very close to his round bum. "This view is not so bad either," I said and smacked his arse. Unfortunately, it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His butt was tight!

Liam dropped me onto the bed at that point, and the look on his face was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing, and tears were rolling down my face. Then I did the most embarrassing thing: I snorted.

That was it. Both of us couldn't stop. Every time I calmed enough to think I could speak, one look at Liam's face, and I'd be off again.

Eventually, we stopped, and I was able to say, "Oh my God, your face! That was so bloody funny." I wiped my eyes.

"I think that may have been the first time someone's done that to me."

"Really? Didn't you go to an all-boys school?"

"Yes, but it wasn't the US." Liam tried suppressing a grin as he said, "we got ball taps."

I tried not to laugh. I really did. "Oh, my God!" I was off again.

We watched the original Mad Max before I had to go and finish dinner. I was horrified when Liam said he hadn't seen it before. I immediately made him watch it. He said it was ok, the concept was great, but he didn't love it. I told him he needed a brain scan.

When I went to make dinner, Liam offered to help, but I told him not to be silly.

Liam sat at the kitchen bench chatting to me while I chopped and blanched the vegetables. After a while, he said he had to call Sarah and his assistant Ryan to make sure he had organised the dog walker to take Cole for a walk and play.

"Any update from Sarah?" I asked Liam when he returned. I feigned disinterest while I finished slicing the roast.

"All the same right now. Some sites have posted the pictures, saying I was spotted drinking with an "unknown female companion." The pictures have circulated a bit on Twitter, but it's mostly just by fans. They haven't hit the mainstream yet. It's all fairly standard, and it will go away by tomorrow by the looks of it."

"Good," I said. A look I couldn't interpret passed over Liam's face. He masked it pretty quickly. I opened my mouth to ask if he was ok but shut it again. I said, instead, "dinner's ready." I passed Liam his plate.

"Thank you," Liam said, leaning over to kiss me before eating. I watched as he cut up some beef and started chewing. "Pretty good. Almost as good as Mum's," he teased with a wink.

I elbowed him, and God bless him; he pretended it hurt.

We ate in silence for a while. I gave a few pieces to Perrin. He was so old, and I couldn't help but spoil him occasionally. He won't be around forever.

After dinner, Liam insisted on helping me clean up, and we stacked the dishwasher. Watching him bend over, his jeans straining as he put the plates in, stirred some feelings. Erotic feelings.

"Want to watch another movie?" He asked.

"Not really," I said. "I'm in the mood for some dessert."

"Ice-cream? I can't have any, but you can."

"Not ice-cream," I said, shaking my head. I looked at him with my very best bedroom eyes.

"What do you want then? Want me to go to the shops?" He said, not catching on. I put my arms around his waist. "If you let me borrow your car, I'll go. I can just go on my own."

"No, you wombat." I met his hips with mine, his eyes widened. "What I want is right here." I wriggled against him. Liam grinned widely, his cheeks creasing in such a sexy way.

"I thought you were shy."

"I am getting used to you," I said. "The real me is coming out." The truth of my words took me by surprise. I looked away, second-guessing myself. Why did I do that?

"I like her," Liam said hoarsely. If he hadn't spoken then, I think I would have stopped. But when his hands went into my hair, and he pulled, stretching my throat, I knew I wasn't going to stop. He kissed me there, and his teeth grazed my skin. My fingers reached under his shirt, and they gripped his back. My nails dug into his skin.

"Bedroom?" I whispered.

"Bedroom," he agreed and walked me backwards to my room.

"You promised me something earlier today," Liam said in between kisses. We were close to my bed.

"What's that?"

He stopped kissing me and cupped my face with his hands. "You said I could undress you."

Liam took hold of my t-shirt and waited. I nodded. He slowly lifted my shirt up and over my head before dropping it to the ground. He tilted his head as if contemplating and gently turned me around.

I felt Liam gather my hair and put it over my shoulder. He caressed my back with his fingertips, making me shiver with pleasure. I heard him give a satisfied hum before undoing my bra. He turned me around again and took hold of my bra straps, pulling them down my arms.

When I dropped my bra beside my shirt, Liam took a step back. He looked me up and down, his eyes hungry. I wanted to cover myself under his intense gaze, my earlier courage wavering under his scrutiny.

My arms started to move, and he gave me a stern look. "You're not thinking of hiding now, are you?"

I shook my head and forced my arms back by my sides. "Good, because I want to look. You're quite the sight." As if to emphasise his point, he adjusted himself through his pants. I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me and felt the familiar throbbing between my legs.

Liam got down on his knees and kissed my belly. His rough stubble tickled. "Your skin is so soft," he said in a low voice. He undid my jeans and kissed a trail down as he unzipped me. His breath was warm, and I felt it through the cotton of my briefs, his last kiss placed just above my slit.

It was almost agony. I moaned at his teasing breath and lips. Then Liam pulled down my underwear and kissed my mound. I felt his tongue part my lips, and when he found what he was looking for, he flattened his tongue and moaned into me.

I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I wanted to stop Liam, but it felt too good. I could feel my resolve waning. I didn't want to wait. Why should we wait? What was I waiting for? I had to stop thinking and go with it, enjoy him, enjoy the experience. I put my fingers in his hair as he licked and sucked at me. He seemed to remember what I liked, and soon I was close to my peak.

One of his fingers played at my entrance. I silently begged for Liam to put it in. My core was desperate to be filled. His finger slowly entered me, and I was lost. I needed him. At that moment, all I wanted was to feel more of him inside me, have him fill me.

I felt like this was the moment. If I don't ask Liam now, I probably never would. If I didn't want him now, why am I even allowing this to happen? I wanted him. He excited me like no one had done since Andy. He had knocked down the defences I'd built to keep myself alone. Keep me in my grief and guilt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to feel desired again.

"Fuck me?" I asked. The words just tumbled out. I knew at that moment I would beg if I had to. "Please, Liam, I want you to fuck me."

I wasn't sure if Liam heard me. He increased his attention, and I felt the pressure building. His hand gripped my arse, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. The short rough hair on his cheeks and chin tickled against my thighs. My legs buckled. I couldn't stand up anymore. He held me there while I panted and moaned, seeking release.

I felt my climax arrive like a bolt of lightning. It was sudden and intense. My body contracted as waves of pleasure exploded over me. Short, wordless shouts came from my mouth until it was over. I collapsed onto the bed.

I laid there a while, eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. Liam was shuffling around and heard his belt come undone. I felt the bed dip, and I opened my eyes to find Liam naked, climbing up the bed until his face was above mine.

Liam supported some of his weight with one hand and laid on me, our whole bodies skin to skin. He was warm to touch, and he almost felt hot to my now cooled skin.

"Ask me again," Liam said.

Part 8

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Okay again with this whole 'AO3 needs an app' bs - people are saying that one of the best features of fake unofficial apps they have used is that it keeps track of fics you have already read.

1) AO3 highlights links you have already clicked on before (this does expire after some time, and it differs between desktop and mobile, but it's something).

2) Why the fuck do people act like it's such a crime to click on or re-read a fic you have already read before?

This is just a huge problem for me as a fanfic writer, and it does fall in line with people constantly asking me for sequels to fics or asking me to make fics longer when I have a huge backlog of similar fics or fics with my similar style - you don't constantly need a stream of brand new fics. You don't.

Most fanfic readers today are spoiled brats.

Having thousands of people on the internet at your fingertips who enjoy the same show you do and enjoy the same characters you do, actively providing you with hundreds of thousands of words of fiction for free - it is a privilege.

You would not have survived in the days when people had to mail each other hard copies of fics or when most of the fics on websites were one or two chapters in and then abandoned forever and you were lucky to find a fic that was finished. But even then it was probably riddled with grammar errors and funky ANs because it was written by a middle schooler. Because every single fanfiction writer was a middle schooler back then.

Please, please - learn to reread old fics without complaining about it. "Ugh, that feeling when you click on the perfect fic only to find out partway through that you have read it before."

If you are reading so much fic that you can't even tell them apart in the first few lines or paragraphs, that means you are blindly consuming fics rather than appreciating them. If you think that finding out you have read a fic before is a disappointment - you are a problem.

If you get partway through a fic and find out you have read it before, fucking enjoy it. Leave the author a nice comment telling them how much their fic captured your attention.

Fanfiction authors do this for free. And you eat up all their work so quickly and then ask for more, and then have the gall to complain when you 'accidentally' click on the same fic twice. Please - check yourself.

You don't need an AO3 app, you need to gain some patience and understanding and appreciation for the people who make your favourite form of entertainment in this mass consumption tiktok era.

Also, just in case I have to say it - reading and commenting on really old fics is not cringe. AO3 and even Tumblr is not fucking Instagram - if you go back and comment on someone's work from six years ago, you won't seem like a creepy stalker, you will seem like a cool explorer. You will make the author's day bright. So please, please - I dare you to go into your favourite AO3 tag, and go all the way back to the oldest page, find something you like - and leave a comment on it. Read older fics. Please!!!

[tisfan]

I’ve been doing a lot of reading recently; between the @bannedtogetherbingo2020 kerfluffle and the BLM protests 

(one thing that I’ve been doing recently that seems to annoy the living SHIT out of my fellow White People is correcting “riots” to “protests.” 

“Were you near the riots --” “I did not attend the protests, but I did donate to the medical fund for the man who was injured by removal of the statue on High Street.”

This seems to drive people absolutely batshit, and I will continue to do it. These are not riots and if they have similar characteristics with riots it’s because cops are treating everyone not even like criminals, but like hostile enemy forces.)

Mostly what I’ve been reading about is the difficulty that POC fans have in getting their voices heard in fandom. That the history of fandom is primarily the history of White Fandom. 

(this is long, so there’s more under the cut - I also tell stories A LOT so brace for personal experience asides)

I’ve been thinking about comments I’ve seen by black and brown fans about trying to get away from racist stories on A03. And trying to figure out if there’s a way to give people what they want -- a way to tag posts/topics/writers/ships on a permanent block list. I know I’ve spoken with several fans who have extensive filter scripts when they go looking for a new read and that shit is EXHAUSTING and doesn’t work necessarily on mobile devices.

I, for instance, have QUITE A LOT of stuff blacklisted on tumblr because I find P*nnyW*se the Creepy Teeth Demon to be horrific and I do not want him on my screen. And the movie’s name is IT for fuck’s sake. I can’t blacklist the word “It” and still expect to see any content at all. So, thinking about how much trouble I had keeping PWCTD off my screen gives me some sympathy to how hard it’s got to be to filter out something that people aren’t even tagging! 

I mean, honestly, most of the time that people tag a fic TW: racist, they already KNOW the character is acting in a racist manner and they’re condemning it. When people don’t realize the character is racist, or a word, or a trope is racist (mystical black character, for instance) they don’t tag it as racist because they either don’t know, are unconscious of their own bias, of they don’t care that it’s racist. 

In the same manner, Person A who’s writing fic they know is dub-con will tag it, and Person B who thinks stalking someone and climbing in their window at night is romantic will NOT tag the same scenes as dub-con.

Which doesn’t make it any less jarring when I suddenly run into a fic that I would absolutely count as noncon/dubcon that’s not tagged for it. The intentions of the author don’t matter TO ME at that moment, what matters to me is that I’m trying to breathe while the romantic interest on my eReader is saying “aw, that’s so sweet.”

So, there’s multiple questions that come up for me -- I’m not a computer person, so while the A03 code is available for use, I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I tried. 

Is there a way to tag something from the outside? An overlay or side program (like an Xkit for A03) that would allow people to permanently blacklist certain tags or authors, tropes, etc? I know there are some hosting sites (unfortunately with ads) that basically funnel stuff from A03 to a reader. There was a big kerfluffle about it at the beginning of the year because OMG, someone is making money off my fanfic! protip, no, they weren’t. they were making money off someone else’s desire for a custom skin. The material itself was never leaving A03, it wasn’t stored anywhere else. A03 does not currently have a phone app and they don’t plan to have a phone app.

So, would it be possible for someone to write a phone-app that did a custom filter for the material. Blacklists are certainly possible, right?

Because here’s the thing; a lot of people who are racist don’t know that they are. Or they don’t care that they are. I have personally had a couple of hard conversations about racism (I’m not even going to call it “unconscious racism” because I am a grown-ass adult capable of reading, so if I act in a racist manner, I’m going to fucking own it. And apologize for it. And try to do better.) in my own work -- whitewashing a character at one point, using a quote from a black woman as a title for a story about Wanda. I’m still not entirely convinced that a Jewish/Romani woman is “white” in any sort of traditional sense. That said, I’m not a POC and I’m going to listen to the person who’s upset because of my usage and not my own feeling of “I don’t really think Wanda counts as white.” This may be partially because WANDA is whitewashed as shit in the MCU and a lot of people in the fandom do not read comics.

That further said, I made the changes as requested and apologized for it in the work/notes. And felt very uncomfortable when some of my white friends said “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” I’m not sorry I had to deal with it. I wish I hadn’t DONE it, but I am glad that people felt comfortable enough with me to call my on my bullshit and I was able to make corrections and amends.

Still-- All of this boils down to: People are not going to, in good faith, tag their own fic as “don’t read this, I am racist.”  

Everything that gets done on A03 -- which is an Archive -- is voluntary by the author. A03′s policies are pretty much “tag to warn” or “tag that you’re NOT tagging to warn.” The only action A03 takes for inappropriate tagging is to ask the author to update the Warning to match, or choose not to warn. If there’s no compliance, A03 will assign the fic “choose not to warn.” But that’s the extend of their policies.

We all know this history; no censorship. Censorship is a slope that leads to fanwork disappearing. Because here’s another fact: it doesn’t matter what the intention is of censoring a story; that censorship is going to be applied badly. 

So, if A03 was going to ban racist fic, how long do you think it would take before the reporting system was flooded? Even legit reports of racism are going to take a while to read through, judge, contact the author, wait for possibly updates or retractions, and then removal.

A03′s staff are volunteers, and I understand there aren’t very many of them. There are six MILLION works on A03. No one could hope to read them all with a careful enough eye to catch all instances of harmful texts.

And we all know what’s going to happen: it’s easier to delete all stories that get complaints, rather than read them.

So, Fan A gets Fan C’s fic taken down for racial stereotyping and Fan C tells all of her friends, who go on a crusade to report every single one of Fan Q’s fics in retaliation (not because Fan Q did anything “wrong” but because they happened to post a blog about racial stereotyping in fandom) And we’re right back to strikethru.

Yet, censorship is one of those things that makes me very, very nervous. Do I think a white boy who writes a self-insert rape fantasy novella about violating and murdering Zoe Quinn should be allowed a platform? No, I don’t. (And neither did Amazon, who took it down fairly quickly once it was brought to their attention. But that’s only one case, where there are probably thousands of books that are personal attacks and are left merrily alone.)

There are a lot of books on the banned book list. If people thought they could get away with it, those books would be unpublished, unpersoned, black bagged. 

We all know that the rules get applied badly, by the people with the biggest mouths and the loudest complaints. So banning content on A03 does not seem to be the solution.

(Personal story time again, just skip this if you want.)

I came into fandom backward; I was a traditionally published erotica / romance writer first and moved into fandom after the collapse of several small publishing houses for various scandals that I won’t bore you with but you can look here if you want more information. 

Several years ago, I was in an anthology that i was Very Proud of, and I really like the editor I worked with, wanted to work with her again. She sent me a premise for submission that left me cold. Which is to say, she wanted to publish cuckolding stories. 

[x] <-- warning, that link is REALLY harsh and filled with some real WTF moments, from someone who’s pointing out the racism inherent in the system.

Especially when you consider the Mandingo aspects of the fantasy, it’s easy to see why just the existence of it is repulsive.

I declined the invitation to participate because I was deeply uncomfortable with the subject matter. 

I’m not saying that to get praise for my behavior. 

Because when the subject came up again about two or three years ago in some fandom discourse, I sided with my friends who were defending “no censorship, no matter what.”

(End of personal aside.)

Despite my personal feelings about the issue (ew, this is icky and racist and horrible and I would never write it) I still believe that I don’t have the right to say what someone else can write, read, or enjoy.

I’m trying to find the path between “this sort of reading material is harmful and I don’t think it should have a platform,” “this should be heavily tagged to avoid upsetting people,” and “there are people who feel that way about gay, non-christian stories as well.” And what’s more, I’m trying to find it in a way that doesn’t stifle authors’ voices.

Even with my idea of an overlay, that’s putting the burden on the people most affected-- someone would have to rate stories as “racist” or “not racist” (and even then, it’s seldom that clear cut. Microaggressions abound.) and the people best capable of doing that would be readers of color. Which hardly seems productive. Or fair. 

“Don’t like; don’t read” is often the calling card of fandom writers. I’ve said it myself. That’s what the fucking back button is for. But when I say it, I mean “I don’t want to hear your wank about Tony Stark in my inbox” not “I don’t want to be called out for racism when I wrote a story.”

https://ggmadeit.com/blog/why-i-cant-just-knit-the-story-of-a-black-knitter-during-civil-unrest/ -- I’m including this link because this piece really made me think. I can’t ever put down being a woman. I can’t read or watch horribly misogynistic work without being upset, and I have trouble sitting in the room with my male friends who insist on watching it and want to say “it’s only a movie.”

Being black is part of someone’s life. It can’t be erased just because it’s not convenient. Just because it interrupts your good time. It shouldn’t be put aside because “it’s just a story.”

As fans, we have to do better.

We all know what it’s like to be pushed out, to be made second best, to be asked when we’re going to get a real hobby, when are you going to grow up, why did you spend money on that merch? So we need to reach further. 

I don’t have answers. And even if I did, I’m not the one who needs to give them. What I need to do is listen to the people who have answers and HELP THEM get what they need.

We need to do better. We need to BE better.

[aewriting]

I forget where I saw someone say that their Roswell NM OTP is every main character ​and a good therapist, ha (edited to add - it was @soberqueerinthewild, THANK YOU!) but it’s soooo true, and it got me thinking. Full disclosure - Malex is my end game. I hope they get it together. But once they do, they have so, so much trauma and hurt and issues between the two of them that to have a real, healthy relationship it would take a lot of work. And so this little fic was born.

Warning for relationship strife.

(Also edited to now include a "keep reading" option, which I had NO earthly idea how to put in last night on the tumblr mobile app, ha)

Here’s the AO3 link, if you prefer.

***

Michael stumbles out of the bedroom bleary-eyed, out of sorts.

Trepidatious.

The tension eases, slightly, when he smells the coffee, freshly ground.

He hasn’t left.

Not, not that he thinks he would, really, not that he has for years, now, but he can’t help it if that’s where his mind still goes.

Prosthetic’s not on, and he’s moving stiffly, with the crutches. Michael feels a pang of guilt, then anger. It’s Alex’s own damn fault, stubborn ass that he is. Wouldn’t sleep in the damn bed with Michael, and wouldn’t let Michael take the couch. So yeah, he’s probably feeling it this morning. Boo fucking hoo. Maybe next time he’ll just give in...

Michael should have never let him sleep on the couch.

Should have, could have locked him in the damn bedroom.

Michael knows he can hear him - Alex is always hyperaware of shit like that. He probably heard him the instant his feet hit the floor. So it’s frustrating as hell that he’s made no move to turn toward Michael yet, that there’s been no acknowledgement of his presence.

“Hey,” Michael finally says. Loud. Probably obnoxious. He’s wearing only his boxer briefs (nice ones, an Alex purchase last Christmas), and god dammit he’s gonna use that, knows it’s always been one of the best weapons he’s had against Alex and his moods. He ambles over to the kitchen, overly loose. Casual. Leans back, hands on the counter, body on display.

Alex finally eyes him, swallows hard. “Here,” he says, placing a mug of hot black coffee next to Michael’s hand.

The corner of Michael’s mouth quirks up, almost sly. “Thanks.”

“Mmm hmm,” Alex says. He’s still not looking at Michael, not really.

Michael makes a show out of blowing on the coffee, sipping it. He sniffs the air, frowns. “What am I smelling?”

“We had some bananas going bad. I made banana bread. It’s in the oven now.”

Michael’s frown deepens. “How long you been up?”

A shrug. “A while.”

And Michael can’t help it. “Guess the couch wasn’t too comfortable, then?” He sees the slight shake of Alex’s head, the eye roll. Then the guilt comes back, full force. “Look, I’m sorry. About last night. I should have texted.”

Alex is still just looking down at his own coffee cup, face tense.

Michael heaves a sigh and pushes himself off the counter. Approaches Alex from behind, finds him overly stiff when he finally touches him. “I’m sorry, okay? Real sorry.” Skims his hands down Alex’s arms, to his hips, his thighs. “Come to bed and I’ll show you just how sorry.”

And normally, that would do the trick. Alex would fix Michael with one of those dark, intense looks of his, or maybe roll his eyes, even - bite back a smile. The sex was always good like that, too - a little wild, dirty. An edge to it.

This morning, though, Alex exhales. Shrugs off Michael’s touch. “I...” he starts. Then, “No.”

Michael’s eyes widen and he stumbles back, chastened. Scared, honestly. Because in all the time they’ve lived together, he doesn’t think Alex has ever turned him down, not quite like this.

He suddenly feels overexposed, shrinks back. Alex is wearing sweatpants, a sweatshirt. Michael wishes he would have pulled something on before coming out of the bedroom.

And he’s pragmatic. Cause he’s had to be. Already thinking about next steps, the Airstream. Isobel’s got a condo now, a nice one - same developer that did Kyle’s, though Isobel’s is nicer, of course... there’s no way her Homeowners Association is gonna let her shady brother park his shitty Airstream in the damn parking lot. He’s saved up some money, though, in these past few years, living with Alex. He’ll, he’ll have more options now than he did at 28, at 17.

He looks at Alex warily, watches him sit down heavily at their little kitchen table. He hangs his head, grips his coffee cup. “Are... are we fooling ourselves?”

“What?” Michael folds his arms in front of himself, like a barrier.

Alex isn’t looking him in the eye. “I just... All those years, when things didn’t work with us, it was so easy to blame all the other shit. The big, external things.”

And shit... this, this might really be it, Michael thinks. He, he’s been waiting for this - like, it was always kind of there in the back of his mind, but it... it maybe, really being here is something different. He tracks Alex’s every expression, every movement with wide-eyed alarm.

“My dad. DADT. Just, like, the military in general. You being,” he exhales shakily, “being an alien. Us seeing other people. And everything with Caulfield, Project Shepherd.”

Alex purses his lips. “But... but it’s just us now. And, and what if that’s the common denominator? Like, what if we’re the problem?” He’s shaking his head, looking stricken. “Dad’s dead, Project Shepherd’s shuttered...”

Michael leans his head back, sighs deeply. “What do you want, Alex? Just, what is this about?” Their eyes finally meet, briefly. “This is more than me forgetting to text.”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” Alex’s brow is furrowed. “It’s... it’s all the texts, that you’ve forgotten.” Michael open his mouth to protest, but Alex barrels forward. “And it’s all the times I’ve gotten mad about them. It’s the way we fight about stupid shit, like keeping the cabin clean, or what we should do on the weekends.” He bites his lip. “It’s all the times one of us has slept on the couch. All the times I’ve thought you were out with someone else. Someone easier, less complicated. All the times you’ve thought I was leaving.”

He’s rubbing at his neck. “Like, do we really think we can do this?”

Michael’s whole body feels tight, coiled. “Do you?”

Alex’s shoulders slump. “I... I don’t know, honestly.”

“Fuck,” Michael mutters, looking away.

“And that’s not to do with you.”

“Bullshit it’s not,” Michael grits out. “Don’t give me this ‘it’s not you it’s me’ bullshit.” He shakes his head. “Not with me.”

“Fine,” Alex says. “But it’s both of us. Like, we’ve been through so much shit, Michael. So much. And the way we grew up...” Alex’s eyes narrow. “You know I don’t know a single couple I’d want to be like? Not a single one where I’m like, wow, that’s a great relationship. Maybe I can have that someday.” He gives a disbelieving little laugh. “Not one! And sure as hell not, not a queer one. Or...” There’s another nearly hysterical little laugh. “Or an interspecies one, for fuck’s sake.”

Michael licks his lips. He’s, he’s grasping for ways to talk Alex down. “Is this about the wedding? Like, second thoughts? Are you, are you not ready?” Michael swallows. “Like, if you need time, I’ll give you time.”

Alex is just staring at him, and Michael starts ticking through the boxes of what else Alex could possibly need, want right now. “Is it, is it the idea of being with, with just me?” And god, he hates what he’s about to say, but he says it. “Cause, cause fuck, Alex, I love you. God knows I, I had years to fuck around. And I know you didn’t get that like I did, with the military and your dad and shit, so if you want that -“

“What the actual fuck, Michael?”

“I, I’m just saying -“

“Have you heard anything I’ve just said?”

And now Michael’s hurt. Offended. “Of course I have.”

“And your first thought was, what, maybe he wants to open this up?” Alex is looking at him, incredulous. “Like, do you?”

“No!” Michael exclaims. “I just, I love you Alex. I, I want you however I can have you.”

“And that’s part of the problem!” Alex says, desperate. “You’re so... so damn self-sacrificing sometimes. And let me just put it out there, for the damn record, you have me. You’ve fucking had me since I was 17, and, and I think I have you, but is that enough?” Alex is hunched over the table now. “Like, I want this to be good for us. Healthy. But, but how can we even know what that looks like?” He shakes his head at Michael. “Like, healthy is not volunteering to have a god damn open relationship at the first sign of trouble. Especially when you don’t even want one, my god.” He blows out a breath. Looks down. At his leg. “And it’s also not, not being a stubborn bastard and ignoring your own health just to stick it to your boyfriend and sleep on the couch.” He curses low, under his breath. “We’re both the problem, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

“I...” Michael starts, then stops. Buffy chooses this instant to trot up to him, curl herself against his bare legs, and fuck, he can’t, can’t imagine leaving Alex, leaving her...

“I left a voicemail for Dr. Ling this morning. Told her I want to start up regular sessions again,” Alex says quietly. “And I think, well, it was her suggestion, actually, when I was seeing her before. She said that maybe we should consider couple’s therapy.”

Michael scoffs, at that. Rolls his eyes.

Alex sees, and his jaw tightens. “You know,” he starts. “ I think it’s more than a little - “ he breathes, regroups. “I think it’s telling that you’d sooner suggest that we fuck other people than actually talk to someone about this.”

And fuck if he doesn’t have a point, there.

The truth of it rattles Michael, and he finally sits down across from Alex. Sets the coffee mug on the table, a little too rough. “I don’t want to have to go in there and lie.”

Alex purses his lips. “I... I get that. I know you hate that. But, with this, I think we could still get something out of it. I mean, I have to lie. To Dr. Ling. About you.” He sees Michael’s face. “And I know that’s not the same. It’s definitely not. But, but I think it could help us, Michael. I mean, even if we never even touch the alien stuff, there’s so much else.” He pauses. “And maybe, maybe we could learn. Learn to really talk to each other. So that when we did need to talk, about anything - even the alien stuff, especially the alien stuff - we could.”

And Michael looks at him, really looks. He’s just this side of desperate. Almost pleading, but... but there’s still hope. And the hope does it. Because he wasn’t lying when he said he’d do anything for Alex, and he knows it says something really fucking strange about him that, even after all these years, he’d find it easier to, to take a goddamn hammer for him than to open up like this, in this way. But at his core, he knows he’s right.

He breathes deep and looks right at Alex. “If it’ll keep you off this couch,” he says, pointedly, “then yeah, I’ll go put in my time on a different one.”

And Alex, Alex looks so relieved. Reaches across the table and grasps Michael’s hand with his own, still warm from gripping his coffee mug. “Thank you.”

Michael leans forward, then - cradles Alex’s face with his other hand, and gives him a kiss. A real one. Not urgent. Just... genuine.

And Alex smiles, pulls away and looks down, almost shy.

“What?” Michael asks.

“I, I just...” Alex finally looks at him, quirks an eyebrow. “I told myself I wasn’t gonna do this, this morning, told myself that we were gonna talk, but, well... want to spend a little time on, on our couch, first?”

The invitation is clear, and now it’s Michael’s turn to be relieved.

“Yes.”

[ilguna]

hi- I’m not sure if you’re the right person to ask, but I wanted to know how to start a fanfic writing tumblr- I mean, I’m just not sure how to start since I’ve never posted anything on my account- I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience-

Don’t worry about it. I’m a little offended that you would think you’re coming to the wrong place 😂.

Imma break it down for you.

BTW this post is long bc I wanted to cover all bases

—

First of all, if you’re on tumblr mobile, then that’s fantastic and we’ll start with that first. If you’re on desktop, I would like to suggest getting it on your phone because it’s more accessible and easier to manage than doing it on the computer. The only time I go to the computer is when I’m going to post fics, but we’ll get there.

I know you said you’re wondering how to start posting fics but I gotta give you some advice before that. Because there are just some things I cannot stand when it comes to some fanfic blogs, alright?

Be easy on your color scheme. I wouldn’t put any bright colors because it could hurt someone’s eyes, and sometimes it looks really bad. Going along with that, you should be careful what your second color is on your blog (let’s say that your base color was a maroon, and then you’d choose a color similar to that/darker than that. It’ll be hard to read the things in your bio, and it’s frustrating)

This is obvious, but make sure you have a profile and header picture, it’s more appealing rather than tumblrs default.

Turn ON asks and then proceed to do it for anonymous questions, because that’s the only way you get requests. Some people do it off anon but that’s not as common.

You can do this on desktop and a safari browser. It’s not possible to do on mobile just yet. Open up safari > log in > little person icon in the top right > edit appearance. Scroll until you see “let people as questions” turn that on. Turn on anon, and edit the box to whatever you want. Keep it short

Turn off “share posts you like” and the following one below it. It’s a risky game to play when it comes to what you’re looking at and liking.

No submission posts, normally people don’t submit things anyway. Turn OFF “on blog advertising” and then that’s it. It automatically saves so you can just leave to the next screen imma bout to tell you about

IF you go to my blog on desktop, you’ll see that there’s a theme. My font is different, I have a different set up than most blogs, etc.

If you wanna mess around with that, scroll to the top of page (you should still be on the same page from the anon instructions) and tap “edit theme”

It might take a second to load, but you’ll get there.

THIS SCREEN IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Besides the fact that it lets you edit your theme, this is how you put in a Masterlist, and all other links you might want in your bio.

You said you haven’t written anything yet, so there isn’t a need for a Masterlist just yet. But when you DO start posting, please come back to me and I’ll let you know how to put one in your bio, okay? Nice and shiny for your future followers.

If you wanna change your theme go to browse themes, change it from “all themes” to “free themes”. If you like mine, it’s called “Accesible”. If you just want the font, get out of the theme screen and scroll the screen on the left. Turn ON “open dyslexic

Remember, you can do all of this on desktop too, it doesn’t have to be on safari

—

Now onto posting, I have some opinions that might offend my mutuals (oopsie)

I can’t tell the difference, but PERSONALLY, I think posting fics on tumblr from my phone is gross. But that’s also because I’m writing 1000+ words normally and it gets difficult to post

If you want to post fics with more than 100 paragraphs, then you have to go to desktop or maybe safari tumblr (I don’t post from safari tumblr so idk if it works) because tumblr says NO paragraphs after 100 on mobile. There is no restriction on computer

I write in Google Docs, because it’s neater and I’ve discovered some hate for Word after deleting some of the shit I wrote over and over. Plus it’s an app, and you can open it up on computer. Easy to use.

If you use Notes on your phone, or type directly onto a tumblr post, then that’s fine but you don’t know your word count and it’s a little difficult to navigate.

When it comes to formatting, I used to have it be really long. But I’ve narrowed it down to 3, sometimes 4 things.

Summary: this is where I put the request so the anon/person knows that it’s their request. (I copy n paste the entire request in the summary part, I don’t answer asks (requests) anymore because it’s easier to answer them after I posted).

Warnings: my permanent is swearing, and then I add on (what type) violence, murder, suic*de, gore, etc DEPENDING ON THE REQUEST

Word count: and I do this because I write long imagines sometimes and some people don’t want to sit through 5k words of boring shit

And the optional—Note: I put this if I thank someone for their patience on the request, if I say happy holidays or some shit like that. I don’t have notes on every post anymore because they just turn out being the same every time

Apart from that, give it a title (make it unique but not too long!) who it’s for and then copy and paste the fic in

I’m using my own posts as an example right here, okay. But I have the summary and all of that bolder because it’s easier to see, and I want it to be different from the actual post. Most fanfic writers do this.

I also put 2 —‘s between the authors note at the top and the fic to also make a difference there

Don’t have the entire fic italicized, it takes away the special part of italicizing a word

Finally, it’s tagging.

I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT tag things that have nothing to do with the post. It’s my biggest pet peeve and it’s because I can’t comprehend why people tag (for example) Katrina Stuart when it’s a fic OR A RANDOM POST about someone else

Instead, let’s keep it simple.

🌸 STOP 🌸

I forgot to mention this. But choose your username wisely. You can change it later on, but it’s a goddamn pain in the ass when you have 50+ fanfics you wrote and your Masterlist is nice and clean only to realize that you have to RELINK every post individually

Listen, I changed my username on my old blog, and it took me 8 hours ROUGHLY to relink and fix every individual Masterlist. I had to create new masterlists, with so many tabs open to fix it

Instead, change it before you start fics

If you wanna be a colby brock blog, I have a canon url (which means that it’s so fucking GOOD and I’m angry that i realized it was open only a month ago rather than when I created this account) and it’s colbysbrocks (it’s a plural canon url). And I have colbysecrets too. If you don’t like either of those, I have a couple of other ideas that I wrote down if you want them

🌸 okay continue 🌸

This is how you should tag:

(I’ll give an example after this)

Your username first, the person it’s about, the fandom (if it’s not Colby brock, then something like marvel, etc). Then the persons name, imagine, fanfic, x reader, and oneshot. Then if it was requested

EXAMPLE ONE:

Azurebrock, Colby brock, Colby brock imagine, Colby brock fanfic, Colby brock x reader, Colby brock oneshot, requested

Simple, right? You can even use this method for Wattpad too.

EXAMPLE TWO:

(This is Star Wars, im using my own username again)

Kylorenlovesyou, Kylo ren, Ben solo, kylo ren imagine, kylo ren fanfic, kylo ren x reader, kylo ren oneshot, Ben solo imagine, Ben solo fanfic, Ben solo x reader, Ben solo oneshot, Star Wars

Notice that I tagged both of his names. I do this because it draws more people in, and more people will be attracted to it (however, in the Star Wars fandom there’s a difference between Ben Solo and Kylo-Ren, so you would have to specify in the title Ex. Resistance (Ben Solo) or Struggle (Kylo-Ren). It would depend on which persona you’re using

This works for a couple of fandoms, like twilight and shit like that

EXAMPLE THREE:

(Final one, I just wanted to cover this base just in case)

If it’s a request for more than one person. Let’s say Colby Brock and Sam Golbach (like a Polyamorous relationship, if it’s just about a bunch of people, tag the people in it and don’t put the imagine, fanfic, x reader, oneshot after any of them, it doesn’t apply)

If it’s a poly relationship (or maybe more) then do everything you normally do for one person, and then just add on the second;

Azurebrock, Colby brock, Sam Golbach, Colby brock imagine, Sam Golbach imagine, etc

If you’re on desktop, I would suggest putting in a Read More (this goes BEFORE your fic but after the authors note, below the 2 —‘s). The way you do that is press enter, and hover over the new break in the fic.

Off to the right you’ll see a . . . Click that and then you have the read more. I would only suggest using this if there’s more than 500 words, so that if the fic is super long, it doesn’t take up the entire dash for the follower (it takes forever to scroll and it’s annoying

If you’re on mobile, it isn’t possible. Just post and you can go back and edit later if you have a computer

[aelaer]

For the fanfic asks: 2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise) 5. What’s a crackship you love? 6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh? 7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry? 11. Kid fic or childhood friends? 18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

Hi neutron! I've been wondering where you were! Good to see you again. I hope you're doing okay in these insane times. I'm interested in hearing about it if you're interested in sharing. Also you now have a number by your name, that’s new!

This is a really rambly answer that meanders past the questions multiple times. I apologize for my verbosity, as well as some of the dry, uh, glass-half-empty tone that may leak through the answers. It's been a real rough 48 hours. Rambling while channeling Eeyore sometimes helps get it out, hah. Cut if you’re not reading this on tumblr’s dumb half-working mobile app.

2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise)

For fanfic, I don't have anything on my immediate to-read list. I do have several longer bookmarked stories from both Sherlock and the MCU, but a couple of them deal with really heavy topics (like grieving over death or the aftermath of assault) and I'll wait until the world is more calm before getting to those. Others I know are in the works but I'm waiting for them to be nearer to completion before diving in. And then others are romance-focused and I honestly need to be in the mood to read romance-focused, novel-length stories. I can get through a romance one or two shot in a breeze, but I get really bored in most romance novel-length stories and honestly don't understand why the majority of women love them so much. Unfortunately platonic, family or found family novel stories are virtually nonexistent in the MCU with my guy so, y'know. I'll likely get to the romances when I'm in the mood. (Usually it happens on airplanes. I don't know why either.)

My "to review" list is actually longer, to get to the 1% of stories that actually fall into my favorite genre: platonic shit. Platonic shit doesn't usually get many reviews anyway so that's my immediate goal as opposed to reading since I've read virtually every gen story that contains Doctor Strange as a character already :D

Outside of fanfic? That's a really good question. I have no idea. I should check out the free ebook sites that are opening up. Anyone have any recs? Humor is awesome, don't want anything sad or with unhappy endings atm. Fictional or nonfiction all work.

5. What’s a crackship you love?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Does Stephen/Cloak count? I think that could count. It's definitely a bit odd. The really really weird ones are when the Cloak gets a humanoid form for The Exact Reason You're Thinking.

Stephen/tentacle monster is also one I've seen which is just fucking hilarious.

Oh, and anything with Groot. As an adult of course, whatever counts as adulthood for grootpeople. I haven't read anything mind you, but that seems like hilarity waiting to happen.

6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh?

Nothing that I can remember in fanfic :/ I could use a good laugh, but at the moment I've only been getting them via memes and Twitter. I can't remember the last funny scene in a fanfic that I've read. Nothing this year, I think. Likely last summer or fall with some of the couple lovely one shots that came around then.

My answers have really sucked so far. Gah.

7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?

The news. *rimshot*

Okay this one I can answer. Signature Move back in September. I remembered because I can count on one hand the number of fanfics that have made me cry over the last 16.5 years.

I think the last book to make me cry was The Lovely Bones well over a decade ago.

11. Kid fic or childhood friends?

Kid fic, except for de-aging fics. Fics exploring the characters as children or around children are fantastic. I'd honestly love to see more of this with Stephen (expect with a de-aged Peter, and with actual children, not teenagers who are almost adults.)

18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

Fic reading routine: Let's see if there's anything new that I'm interested in. *three minutes later* Nope! (basically the people I follow here on Teh Tumblrlrlrlr tend to link their stuff here, so I get it here first, read it, tell em "yay!", then go about my merry way. I am usually very surprised if I find something that grabs me in browsing ao3, to the point that I only browse if I'm uploading something or replying to reviews. The fanfic I'm looking for comes out in limited amounts and I can only write so much of it *shrug*.)

When I do find something that looks interesting, I read it immediately if possible. If not possible, I keep the tab open on my phone until I get to it. That is usually in bed at night. I try to review immediately because if I don't it takes me like three friggin weeks to get back to review it; damn, I owe a few reviews that I really need to do before the end if the week.

If the something I found interesting is really really really long and compelling, I used to binge read into the wee hours of the morning. I control myself a bit better now, as I must do as a Supposedly Responsible Adult. Even doing this I think I still managed to read around 1000 Sherlock fanfics throughout 2017 and 2018. Oh how I binged.

For writing: It depends largely on the time of day, actually. If it's before 10PM, I usually take my laptop out. One of the Discord communities I'm in has a writing sprint channel, and if there's anyone doing a sprint, I'll join them. This has helped me get the hardest parts of chapters onto paper several times, those nasty filler parts that are just being really stubborn. If there's no sprint going on, I'll sometimes start one myself (though only if someone will join me).

I don't always use a sprint when on my laptop though. On my laptop in the first two to five tabs are the stories I'm currently working on (and five tabs after those is the story I promised to fucking beta read five hundred years ago but I'm clearly the worst person to ask for a beta as you can tell by the lack of it being finished, jfc me). Anyway, I'll review those, maybe jump around and scroll a bit to review my notes or what I've written, and once I get a bit more spark of inspiration while reviewing, I'll start writing. If no spark comes or I'm forcing myself to write a specific scene that's acting up, that's when I use the sprint method described above.

After 10pm, I write on my phone. Thank goodness the Google doc app exists. It's much slower, but it's still writing and that's really what counts. My creativity is very much a night owl and I've written a couple hundred words (or more) late at night many times. Sometimes it's just outlining, sometimes it's just pieces of dialogue. The smart phone has definitely made writing before bed even more convenient.

Thank you.

[hermannsthumb]

ok trying this again lol hopefully tumblr doesn't eat my message but i saw where you reblogged that halloween prompts last night and wanted to request "strangers who hooked up at a party while in costume but tbh i might be in love with you so i’m gonna walk this earth looking for the right woodland nymph" for newmann. the thought of hermann dressed as a woodland nymph is CUTE!! thank you, maria

from list of halloween prompts here

HEHE this one took me a while bc i’ve been slammed with a cold the past few days thats made me want to do nothing but like. lie in bed. HERE YOU GO ENJOY

———————————————

“Sexy fairy, huh?” Newt says.

The dude leaning against the wall lowers his drink and frowns. “Pardon?”

“Shit,” Newt says. “Hang on. Sorry.” He pulls out his plastic fangs and works his jaw a few times, then settles right back into his most charming smile. “I said sexy fairy, huh?”

“Oh,” the dude says. He looks down at himself–the illfitting white tunic, the tacky fake vines glued to it, his sandals (socks with sandals, actually, wow)–and gives a self-conscious tug at the equally tacky flower crown atop his head. He’s a real hottie. Big brown eyes, dark eyelashes, cheekbones–definitely Newt’s type. He’s surprised that no one else dove in to chat him up first. “I think it’s meant to be a nymph, actually. I bought it at the costume shop on the way here.”

He’s all posh and English. Newt wasn’t expecting that, but he thinks he can dig it. He leers. “So the sexy is all you, then?”

The nymph’s frown only deepens. “What do you mean?”

“I mean–” Newt sighs. “I was calling you sexy.”

“Oh,” the nymph says again. “Er. Thank you.”

They slip into uncomfortable silence. (Way to go, Newt. Struck out already.) “Are you here alone?” Newt tries again.

It’s the wrong thing to ask: the nymph makes a face and takes a long sip of his drink. (Purple, with weird foam on top, probably whatever’s sitting in the punchbowl marked Witch’s Brew.) “Yes,” he says. “I came with my date, but he–ah–”

His eyes drift to a guy in a semi-matching costume on the dance floor, who’s currently bumping up against some hunk dressed as a sexy pirate.“Ditched you?” Newt says.

The nymph makes a non-committed sound. His hand tightens around the head of his cane (which he’s also wound fake vines around–Newt appreciates the creativity). “I didn’t want to dance,” he says, and then it’s his turn to sigh. “We only met a week ago, on some moronic–dating app my sister insisted I try. I should’ve known he’d…”

That won’t do; Newt was trying to get the guy’s number, not send him spiraling into moodiness. “Hey, I’m here alone, too,” Newt says. “All alone.” He doesn’t even know the host–it’s one of Tendo’s exes, he thinks, who he may or may not have gotten sushi with one time years ago but never bothered unfriending on Facebook.

“Mm,” the nymph says. He gives Newt a long once-over. Newt wishes that he’d planned better, and worn something a little sexier than just standard vampire. (Like sexy pirate; the guy the nymph’s date latched onto instead had the right idea.) As is, he’s probably only passably sexy: his pants are tight enough, and his shirt is open enough, and he has enough glitter in his hair (because it’s fun) to light up like a fucking disco ball in the light. “I suppose you’re going to ask me for my mobile number now. Or offer to get me a drink, despite the fact that I clearly already have one.”

Newt grins goofily. “That was the plan.”

He get another long, considering stare. Then the nymph sets his drink down and clasps his free hand around Newt’s wrist. “Follow me,” he says.

“Cool,” Newt says. “Uh, are we going to the kitchen? I think it’s–”

They’re not going to the kitchen: they’re going to an empty broom closet. Newt can appreciate a forward-thinking man who knows what he wants.

“You ought to know,” the nymph gasps, tangling his fingers in Newt’s hair, “I don’t really do these sorts of things.”

“Really?” Newt says. He grins up at him, face inches from the guy’s stupid tighty-whiteys. “’Cause I do. You want me to put my fangs back in?”

“No. Ah–!”

***************************

Newt wakes up with a hangover (predictable), his phone buzzing off the side table with his alarm (annoying), and the strangest sensation that he met the love of his life last night (unexpected). The sensation is only amplified when he picks up his phone and sees that he’s, apparently, sent no less than five texts to his dad about it (his fucking dad, of all people, Newt needs some friends), but it quickly turns to dread when he sees the mess that is his poor forearm.

(“I’ve got a spot right here,” Newt slurred. After mutually-reciprocated hijinks in the closet, he and the nymph–who had told him his name at one point, Newt was sure, he just totally forgot–proceeded to get totally smashed off whatever the fuck Witch’s Brew was and then make out in the corner until Newt finally reminded him that he still wanted his phone number. The nymph was game. He was less game when Newt showed him where to write it in bold black Magic Marker one he rucked up his sleeve: his right forearm, between his jellyfish tattoo and his Godzilla tattoo, on a small patch of empty, freckled skin.

“Cute,” the nymph said, wryly.

He said it in a way that made it clear he didn’t think Newt’s tats were actually very cute. “I like them,” Newt said.

“Can’t I just–” the nymph was struggling with the marker, “–put it right in your, ah, phone?”

“This is more fun,” Newt said.”)

The number is nothing more than a smeary mess now–probably casualty to the massive rainstorm raging outside that, if Newt’s soaked pile of clothing on the floor means anything, has been raging since he stumbled home last night. 

He can’t even remember the guy’s name.

SOS, he ends up texting Tendo after a healthy amount of coffee and Tylenol. hooked up with super hot guy at a party last night and have no fucking clue how to see him again and i think i might be in love. help

you’re almost forty, Tendo replies, which is no help and isn’t at all the sick burn Tendo probably thought it was.

Newt resorts to stalking Tendo’s ex’s Facebook page instead. For anything, really. There are only a few photos up from the party last night (so far, anyway), and most of them are focused on the dance floor and the guy’s friends. Newt clicks through obsessively anyway. The ornate Jack-O-Lanterns that’d been on the front porch, Tendo’s ex and some chick in zombie makeup, the punchbowl of foaming purple Witch’s Brew, and–finally, in the very back corner of a shot–Newt standing with his mystery man. Tacky crown and all. He exists, at least, not some extremely specific hallucination on Newt’s part, even though a reverse image search turns up with absolutely nothing but links to buy his costume. 

He has better luck with a blurry photo of his mystery guy’s (deadbeat) date laughing in the kitchen under the bright orange string lights: Tendo’s ex actually tagged him. Probably because he wasn’t totally crashing the party after seeing a post about it like Newt was. Newt’s luck pretty much stops there; not only does the guy make no mention of the nymph Newt spent the night with when Newt stalks his page, but he hasn’t updated his status in literally six months, and none of his friends (because Newt combs through his friends list, too) look remotely like Newt’s mystery man.

So. Newt sends him a friend request.

He accepts it in the amount of time it takes Newt to take to feed his fish, heat up a tiny bowl of spaghetti-o’s, and regret sending it in the first place; he almost spills the bowl over his laptop in his hurry to send a message. Hey, weird question, but who’d you bring to that party last night?

lol why?

“I’m in love with him” is definitely a little forward, so Newt makes up a fast, and hopefully at least mildly believable, lie. He has my umbrella.

Typing for a while. tbh idrk him, we met online. his name was hermann

Then: i think hes a teacher or something

who are you anyway? comes a second later.

Hermann. Newt likes it. It also rings a very, very vague bell. cool thanks! Newt sends back, and then quickly unfriends the guy. Anyone who could possibly ditch a guy as hot and funny and, overall, perfect as Hermann (as Newt remembers him, anyway) is not worth Newt’s time.

exciting update, he texts Tendo. his name is Hermann!

Newt has a lecture to teach at six, three hours from now, so in lieu of actually preparing for it, he decides to be a creepy stalker instead. Hermann’s date said he was a teacher: none of the local public schools have a Hermann (or a Herman, for that matter) on any of their staff pages, K all the way up to Twelve, nor do the private schools. He has better luck when he pokes through staff directories for nearby universities instead: this gives him two Hermans and one Hermann, but neither of their provided pictures look remotely like Newt’s Hermann. Not even when Newt squints.

He spares another miserable glance at the smeary ink on his arm before shutting his laptop. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

He’s walking to campus from his bus stop the following week–the day before Halloween–when the most fucking unbelievable thing in the world happens.

He sees Hermann.

Just sitting outside the campus coffee shop at a little table, sipping a paper travel mug dotted with little orange pumpkins. Reading over some notes. Newt’s sure it’s Hermann: it’s Hermann’s big brown eyes, Hermann’s long eyelashes, Hermann’s sharp cheekbones, Hermann’s cane propped against the brick wall next to him. Newt’d recognize him even with the stupid nymph costume swapped for more sensible sweatervest and tweed. “Hermann!” he shouts excitedly, waving both arms. “Dude!”

Hermann looks up. He drops his coffee.

He’s completely speechless when Newt finally manages to book it across the street (dodging traffic, including the bus he came in on) and collapse, panting, into the empty seat across from him. “I can’t believe it’s you!” Newt says. “Holy shit, dude! I’ve been trying like crazy to track you down. I lost your number, so I had to message your shitty boyfriend–”

“Not my boyfriend,” Hermann says, faintly.

“Right, your shitty date,” Newt corrects. “You look so good. I almost didn’t recognize you without all the leaves. I’m so glad I found you. What are you doing here, anyway?”

Hermann blinks a few times. Registering it all. “I work–” He says, and gestures to the stairs that lead up to the main part of campus. “Er, here. Physics. I teach physics.”

That explains why Newt couldn’t find him on any faculty pages–he just assumed that Hermann couldn’t possibly be working at the same university as him and didn’t bother checking. He though he would’ve remembered seeing a face like that around. Physics, though, makes sense–it’s not like they’d be in the same building. “I do too!” Newt says. He leans in, beaming away. “Well, not physics, biology. I can’t remember if I told you my name or not. It’s Newt. Dr. Geiszler, if you wanna be serious, but I’m pretty sure we’re way beyond that at this point.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “No, you didn’t say your name.” He blinks a few more times before finally seeming to get over his shock, and it’s replaced with mild amusement instead. A small smile. “You’re a doctor?”

“Are you that shocked?”

“You’re not very–” Hermann does a very bad job of disguising his laugh as a cough. “Professional. You know–at the, ah, party, you really should’ve just let me–”

“I know,” Newt says, and Hermann’s smile grows.

“Writing it on your arm was a terrible idea,” Hermann says. “I was horribly offended, you know, when you didn’t call the next day.”

Newt fishes his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it, and offers it out to Hermann with a grin. “Looks like I won’t be making the same mistake twice, then.”