#how much of their presentation is due to personal choice and style?

[splankie]

guys i got called in for yuri duty

[flowersforchoso]

Bi-han as a father.

it takes a while for him to adjust to the concept of fatherhood as a result of the strained relationship he had with his father.

but once he gets the hang of it, he'll be the perfect mix of stern and loving. capable of striking fear in his children's hearts if you threaten to report them, "i'll tell your father" works like a charm to make them act right, but he's welcoming and will never turn his children away or refuse to engage them.

realistically, he would've like 2-3 kids max.

he's a disciplinarian through and through. won't tolerate misbehavior or disrespect, especially if its towards you. he doesn't take kindly to that.

sometimes you feel he's being excessive with it and intervene

"mommy!" your child cries, running to you for protection from their father—a refuge—to which you'd complain that he's being needlessly harsh

"you coddle them too much, that's the problem." he scolds. "no child of mine will be errant"

of course, you get upset at his hard-headedness that barely makes him see from your perspective

and he can tell, because you're no longer receptive to his advances in protest against his behaviour

so he tones down the discipline and tries to be lenient with them. keyword: tries.

nevertheless, he's nurturing and very hands-on. attentive as well. if something is wrong, he notices right away.

will cook for his children because he believes he's the better cook, but they think otherwise, since he just puts lots of vegetables in the food. he wants them to grow healthy and strong

he teaches his children from a tender age to be self-sufficient and trains them to be able to protect themselves and you, if the situation calls for it.

dad time is essential. will take them to exciting places and partake in outdoor activities like gardening, hiking, fishing or simply errands to the marketplace etc. he loves to spend time with them and would crack dad jokes here and there to entertain them. they'll pretend to find it funny.

he's overprotective and strives to be a good role model to his kids.

now if he's a girl dad, there's a slight twist.

his parenting style is much more relaxed due to his mother being the only female presence he had growing up so its a mix of cluelessness and traditional ideals shining through and will mostly take cues from you

training is not mandatory but if they're interested, he would be happy. its not as rigorous and they have the choice to opt out anytime.

he dotes excessively on them that'll make you wonder if this was the same person you married. but it's mainly because he sees them as mini versions of you

at this point, its no surprise he's the preferred parent because of how affectionate he is towards them. and big, strong dad gives the best piggyback rides.

infact, you would have to complain that he's spoiling them too much to which he'd respond

"what's it to you? don't question my parenting" and you leave it at that.

treats them delicately. his paternal instincts go into overdrive everytime and he gets easily worried when it comes to them

when they reach a certain age, he doesn't shy away from topics relating to womanhood. but that doesn't mean he initiates the conversation. he takes on the passive role of listener and further educates himself by asking you questions in private which you tease him for being eager to learn

doesn't joke with his daughters. he's a nightmare of a father nobody would want to deal with because he would raise hell if anyone dares hurt them in any capacity

he's changed so much since having them; has become softened, and is grateful to you for this wonderful gift.

but if he only has sons, its a different story entirely

he's twice as stern and this is because he grew up with brothers so he knows how unruly boys can be

training is mandatory for them, they do not get the luxury to choose. he wants them to be able to protect themselves and you, so he doesn't ever present the opportunity for slacking

in short, he rules with an iron fist. you'd have to remind him that they're his children, not his underlings

struggles with voicing his affection. you'd have to reassure your sons that their father, infact, loves them

and it's only natural they gravitate towards you.

but that doesn't mean he doesn't care for them. because he does. its all about tough love and instilling strong values in them, leaving no room for weakness.

and they constantly want to impress their father. on rare occasions when they do, or bi han is feeling particularly soft, he looks at them with adoration and ruffles their hair or simply utters a "well done" that means the world to them

they look up to their father and are always around him seeking validation

[vampireistic]

AVENTURINE CHARACTER ANALYSIS

★ with some aventio analysis too !

CW: this is aventurine we’re speaking about so; mentions of suicide, gambling, massive spoilers

ps. i’m a massive dumbass that still to this day doesn’t fully understand the penacony lore so i’ll most definitely miss things out, my bad.

Watching everyone around you die out while you are forced into living because of a God blessing you with their rainy tears really presents the duality between a blessing and a curse. Really makes you wonder if luck even existed or does experiencing constant suffering and finding a string of hope make you blind to the true nature of your condition. Are you truly fortunate, or are you merely trapped in a cycle of endless grief masked by moments of fleeting hope?

CHARACTER DESIGN

Aventurine’a design is a reflection of who he is; wealthy, confident, flamboyant and so on and so forth. More importantly, though, his design is meant to reflect his desire to be seen as well as his use as just a mere pawn. His design and character are very reminiscent that of peacocks (a design choice rather common with characters who gamble) — peacocks are known and praised for their distinctive beauty as well as their worth.

This also means that they’re a massive target for collectors meant to serve as a person’s trophy; a similar way as to how Aventurine is quite literally a slave, his extravagance meant to pale his vulnerability. This Sigonian trophy has now become a pawn for the Stonehearts (IPC), his design is almost like a branding for him (even more so than the actual mark on his neck), it’s a reminder that he’s going to forever remain someone else’s property. The collar around his neck is meant to serve as a similar reminder.

His lavish design could be seen as a way to distract from his lack of freedom. The more extravagant he appears, the more people focus on his outer beauty rather than the fact that he is, essentially, a prisoner.

HIS TRAUMA / LORE

Aventurine’s relationship with his family has always intrigued me. He absolutely loved them to his core, and they loved him completely back in turn; sounds rather perfect, right? But I can’t help but feel like them drilling into his head that he was the gem of their home, that he would bring them to victory even as a sole survivor — he was their lucky charm. Sure, at the time it probably didn’t mean too much since he was a child and understood that these were words said in desperate times, but now as he’s older? Those words haunt him once again — I mean, it’s literally one of the many reasons he has survivors guilt.

It was actually a little difficult to categorise Aventurine into an attachment style (a template for how a child will most likely act like in the future) because his relationship with his family isn’t really shown all too specifically, or at least specifically enough to understand how he truly feels about them. All I can go off of is his devotion, therefore I can vaguely assume he would have an avoidant attachment style.

Given the way he was treated as someone “treasured” or “superior”, Aventurine has developed avoidant tendencies as a way to cope with the pressure and isolation of his status. He might distance himself emotionally from others, preferring to maintain a facade of independence and self-reliance rather than risk vulnerability.

"Maybe luck won't be on your side this time, and the bill for all your past good fortune will come due."

Finally, the person in front of him turns around. The distant skyscraper reflects a kaleidoscope of colors like an opal stone, while a music box plays on its own.

"But isn't that what you've been longing for?"

─────���──────────────────

This man is quite literally so suicidal. Pretty obvious, I think anyone could pick that up from the fact he outwardly admits in the Penacony quest that he “attempted multiple times” in the dream world, which of course led to nothing. He’s so desperate, weak, and afraid. He’ll try anything even if he knows the final outcome is more than likely futile.

As soon as he’s allowed a little bit of freedom, his first instinct is to off himself. Perhaps that’s also just a showcase that he cannot handle the idea of his own autonomy and that’s unfortunately quite common with victims of abuse; when given freedom, they don’t understand what to do with it. It’s like freeing an orphaned deer from an animal trade…whats it’s use now that it doesn’t have anyone controlling it?

Aventurine’s duality may be a form of dissociation, a psychological coping mechanism where he separates his true self from the persona he has been forced to adopt. The “peacock” persona becomes a mask that he wears, allowing him to navigate a world where he is constantly objectified and used.

However, despite his innate survivors guilt and this want for an escape, he refuses to actually die without trying to avenge his home.

────────────────────────

Immediately after gaining a sense of agency and somewhat power, he seeks for some form of closure. He’s obviously still very determined, in this way, he’s regaining that form of liberty by using his new role to his advantage despite it clearly weighing the IPC down (that alone is purposeful, he’s a pawn for them because it’s also convenient for him).

RELATIONSHIPS (slash aventio :3)

Now I utterly hate Jade — to me, she feels like a very lazily written antagonist/villainous character, and even if she had good aspects to her, it’s completely overshadowed by the fact she’s clearly marketed as just another “dom mommy” (believe me i cringed there too). One thing I’ll praise her for is the relationship she creates with the other Stoneheart’s members — it’s disgustingly manipulative and I love it.

To Jade, Aventurine and Topaz are two sides of the same coin, similar yet vastly different. Both of them are of course beneficial to the IPC, yet if a moment arose to be replaced, she wouldn’t hesitate to backstab Aventurine over Topaz, he’s a speck of dirt on their shoulders and too much of a burden.

More specifically; the only way Jade cares For Aventurine is the same way you’d care for a weapon, you wouldn’t want it to get damaged but there’s always the option to replace it if it does. Have you seen that post where it, to simplify, stated “love but in the way a wolf loves the sheep it herds”, that’s basically the entire dynamic between all the Stoneheart’s, however it’s evident Aventurine is a black lamb.

Outside of Aventurine’s acquaintances of convenience born purely from the notion of gaining something in return, Aventurine truly has one person who’s willing to stick to his dumbassery through thick and thin: Dr Ratio.

Firstly, these two clearly mimic the dynamic between Kaveh and Alhaitham and I find myself slowly just loving their trope even more heavily — a man who thrives off the intangible for the sake of success with a man who’s entire life focuses on logic, reason and book smarts. Throughout the entire segment where the pair are about to meet with Sunday and commit to the most dramatic ass lion king esque betrayal scene, Dr Ratio is cautious. He has to make this betrayal look real, so he maintains this facade of indifference with all the quips and comments Aventurine says.

He does everything for the sake of Aventurine. This man quite literally can’t look at Aventurine after he plays the part of a betrayer because he can’t imagine himself actually doing such a thing. Does he trust Aventurine? Yeah, sure, but he still leaves Aventurine with a heartfelt note that he specified he should read in his last moments:

“Do stay I alive. I wish you the best of luck.”

Dr Ratio is one of the first people to acknowledge Aventurine’s vulnerability and doesn’t exploit it, instead choosing to console him. In a way, it’s actually a little sweet that Dr Ratio thought of a scenario where Aventurine’s godly luck ran out, it shows he views him as a person who’s gained the knowledge he has, and not just a pawn who’s been polished into a gem.

cute dividers: strangergraphics

art: amosprinz

this is a little less analytical and more so rambly than i would’ve preferred, but i also just wanted to give people the opportunity to yap and talk about aventurine and the penacony lore in general. feel free to share whatever thoughts you have on this d(^_^o)

[brucewaynehater101]

AU idea inspired from I Don't Belong Here (I Wish I Was Special) on ao3 and the atla bnha swap au here on Tumblr

So we got the Bad Timeline with the BadFam, which are a lot like in the fic, trauma and abuse goes unaddressed or horrifically handled

But to toss Human!Tim a bone, Kon and Bart do come back to life, so he at least the Core four of YJ is all together again

(when I type YJ assume I mean the core four but if you want I can also mean all of YJ)

Unfortunately Tim is ✨Traumatized✨ and unwilling to cut ties with the BadFam cuz their "stability" is one of the things keeping him sane

And then we have the Hybrid Timeline, with their BatFam, Bruce is a bat or bird hybrid, Alfred is a hybrid (dealers choice), Dick is a robin hybrid, all the other kids are their own bird hybrids

And all the Wayne (Alfred too if you choose) have wings

In this timeline being an animal hybrid is the norm! Which adds another layer of identity shenanigans for aliens like Kryptonians who already had it hard enough feigning humanity

And also this Batfam? They did the impossible. They are !!emotionally healthy!!

Oh shit happens, mental health spirals, Jason died and came back and it was whole emotional rollercoaster, except Batman didn't bataraang his kid, first thing he did after learning Jason was alive was kidnap his son again and trap him in the nest and broody chicken style until he snapped out of his instincts

And then he nabbed his bio son cuz Jason snitches on Talia or Talia wants what's best for her son and an assassin's cult is NOT it, so she sent the kid his way

Batman here isn't abusing his kids, Robin was never fired, it got passed down from Dick to Jay.

I could rave on and on how the Batfam here is happy and healthy as can be but I got an AU to present

So the BadFam is on a mission, magical artifacts are involved, Red Robin secures it but uh oh, once the mission is over he accidentally activated it in the Batcave and the next thing the BadFam know?

Red Robin's still there, except, uh number one the very pretty wings, and also he looks healthier, like his needs are being taken care of

When he breaks out the "alt-self dimension-swap code" they know what they're dealing with and establish their Tim is stuck in a Hybrid world due to an artifact and vice versa

But what really matters is how jarring it is for Hybrid!Tim to be with a world without hybrids as the norm; people with his family's faces so hostile to each other; hostile to him in his eyes; nobody to give his instincts and hybrid side their needs

Under the guise of professionalism and "I have a family to return to" and using the fact the BadFam knows only what he shares of his home dimension, Hy!Tim keeps as much of a barrier between him and the BadFam as he can

He's from a family that spoils one another's instincts and social needs. One that does do jack shit about their issues and communicates about them. A family that isn't cannibalizing itself

Suddenly being with what feels like a bastardized version is scary and he does not like it

On Human!Tim's end, he's suddenly with a family that doesn't hate him and is willingly to help him

They're welcoming and it's unnerving?? And he has a family to return to, a mission to be loyal to. Oh God, what's gonna happen to his other self?

Exactly 24 hours after the first swap, the Tims swap back again and they figure out that for a limited but long time, they're gonna swap places every 24 hours

So they gotta get some help or tech that will cancel out the magic and since they dunno when it stops, they don't want the magic to run it's course and bam, both Tim's are dimensionally misplaced

Thankfully whoever and whatever a Tim has on their person during a swap comes with them so they can trade progress with eachother

Anyways, what matters after the second swap since the artifact's activation is that Hy!Tim instantly snitches to his family on all the red flags the BadFam raised during his time with them

And also no hybrid instincts or amenities, it was not a Good time for him, family nesting time please? :(

So while Hu!Tim thinks he's got any chance of a Good Grade in having people pay as little attention to him as possible during this trial, he's got another thing coming with the third swap when suddenly the whole family is checking on his well being

Hu!Tim grew up neglected and abused and would very much like no eyes on him, amd for all the freedom possible. He is screeching in indignation

But hey, his own family also wants him to stay with em so maybe they can convince the Hybrid Fam otherwise!

And his back hurts more than ever, but he'll get that treated once the artifact's magic ends, no need to bring it up

=======

To Word of God the subtext; the artifact swaps the two Tim's every 24 hours and is slowly making Tim a bird hybrid himself and eventually he's gonna burst wings in a Gorey way

But before the wings and maybe after comes talons, bird noises, and instincts, which he might take a while to clock in on and will make his time away from the hybrid timeline more and more miserable as his transformation progresses

Dealer's pick if he's the same species as Hy!Tim or not

========

So Hu!Tim hides as much as he can get away with from the Badfam to draw as little animosity from them as possible but does the same with the HybridFam to try and protect the BadFam's name from stains on their reputation (ignoring his own)

Hy!Tim is gathering all the evidence on the BadFam's sins and other people's to make a sufficient case against them and to convince Hu!Tim to be adopted by his family

Oh yeah, it'll be fun if the two Tim's had notebooks they placed near them before their swaps to talk with eachother

Hell maybe one or both of their notebooks gets stolen by like a rogue and that could be an episode or chekhov's gun and— idk where to go w/ it

On top of that, Hy!Tim finds every excuse he can to hangout with Young Justice instead of the BadFam because he trusts YJ more than them to the point he feels safe to tell them the whole truth and even go as far as to nest with them and let em preen his wings

Eventually he asks em "my family is gonna kidnap my new brother, can I do the same with you?"

Okay not exactly with those words but that's the vibes

Let's say they agree and he holds onto the Badfam timeline's YJ during the swap and now there's double trouble

But also the BadFam and rest of the hero scene is wondering where the FUCK the YJ went after it becomes obvious they're missing

Hu!Tim is confused why he woke up in a nest in Titans Tower and why he wants to lie down there forever but it also makes him unhappy in a way

Hy!Tim only figures out afterwards what kind of mess he's made, but no take backs! He and Young Justice are Twinning!!! He'll just cover his tracks once's the swap happens again

Honestly two dimensional versions of YJ—one where humanity is the default, and another where hybrids are—interacting would be fun to see

Hybrid Batfam is exasperated because Tim you can't keep adopting and kidnapping like you're Bruce!

==========

Me thinks that while Hy!Tim hides as much as he can, Hu!Damian, knowing his animals, clocks in on all the signs that Hy!Tim is miserable with the Badfam, doing loads of bird stuff that indicates him feeling unsafe and in danger and whatnot

What does Human!Damian do with this knowledge I wonder . . .

Maybe on the other side, Hybrid!Damian catches onto Hu!Tim becoming a hybrid and snitches and now Hu!Tim's chances at not getting adopted are down the gutter for good

Does the BadFam ever pick up on the possibility they're gonna be double-crossed or do they learn when it's too late? both routes would be fun to explor

There's also the fact that Hu!Tim isn't the only victim of abuse, neglect, and etc. in this family, it's entirely possibly that the Hybrid!Batfam will look at Human Damian, Jason, Steph, and Cass, etc. and draw up adoption plans for them too

==========

I'm not abusing the fact that anything and anyone a Tim has on or touching their person swaps with them enough

Like maybe Hy!Tim brings over Jason, Damian, Steph and Cass (maybe Duke if he's with the BadFam yet) and plants the idea of being with his family away forever, away from their Batman

And now there's a third party in this game, one that can turn on itself and fracture at any moment

A third party in this game who has limited time to choose between cutting ties with their very dimension for a family practically clones of their own and themselves

Or they can go against that option. They can go as far as to reveal the double-crossing planned against the Badfamily by the Hybrid family

Seeing the infighting and discussions between them would be fun

Timothy the human? Well he isn't gonna be human much longer now is he, nor does he have much of a choice in this matter

I'm not paying attention to Dick, or Barbara or Alfred, either of em, at all lol, so sorry about that

Maybe Hu!Tim becomes desperate and swaps his Bruce and Dick (maybe even Bats Hy!Tim swapped) with him to try and get all three of them to help convince the Hybrid Fam that he doesn't not need rescuing from the Badfam at all

It goes poorly and maybe that's what gets the BadFam to wonder if they're gonna be double crossed or set the suspicion in stone if it already exists

==========

I can imagine Hu!Jason trying to justify Titans Towers and etc. with his excuses of Replacement and whatever, only for Hybrid!Jason to go "me too bitch, you're not special, you're just an asshole (traumatized, yes, but that doesn't excuse shit)"

==========

Finally, I imagine that where the BadFam is abusive, the Hybrid Batfam is Dark with some of it being attributed to hybrid instincts, and the rest of it's just personality

Batman doesn't kill because Killing is Kind, it's a fix doing nothing to address the problem, the Killed in question

This Batman and by extension, his baby birds, will not have death be the end, you are going to live with you actions and decide what to do from there

When Jason died? Bruce Wayne gunned for Joker and ruined the criminal career. Tearing and gnawing at bones and flesh, enough that countless doors to his villainy were brought down the drain; it would be easier to become a contributing member to society

The Joker proved himself a threat to his fledgelings and it couldn't stand

Gotham's criminal scene learned better afterwards

Canary of the Coalmine, that Joker was

Maybe Hy!Tim swaps Hu!Joker so his family can fuck him up big time

Hy!Tim is just kidnapping everyone he can get his hands on for either adoption or to beat the absolute crap out of them.

Having so many duplicates in one universe could cause problems, but I think they could work it out. The shenanigans they get up to would be ridiculous and hilarious. I feel bad for Alfred if they don't kidnap Hu!Alfred as well. I do have another idea, though.

What if Hy!batfam kidnap YJ and the batfam (minus Bruce) for just an extended period of time? Like they spend a few months to years there depending on their needs? Then, after they teach they to communicate with each other, they release them back to their OG universe.

When they go back, they find that Hu!Bruce and Hu!Joker are gone. The Hy!Batfam kidnap both of them for a bit to beat the crap out of them. Hu!Joker is returned when he can no longer be a criminal.

Not sure about Hu!Batman.

Also, the Hy!Batfam often visit the Hu!Batfam and YJ. They do like a cross universe long-distance relationship. As far as Tim, though, since he's turning into a hybrid, maybe he permanently moves in with the Hy!Batfam due to his needs with his instincts. That, or somehow the Hu!Batfam figure out how to help them. Though, maybe Bart wouldn't stay in the OG universe if Tim moved. Kon has Ma and Pa Kent (maybe Jon and Clark depending on how that's going), and Cassie has her mom and others. Maybe they still go with Tim despite that. Dealer's choice, ig?

It's an interesting AU, and I'm glad you shared!

[gunnrblze]

what do you think the ghosts would be like as fathers?

Ooh the Ghosties as fathers, this is a good one. Prepare for me to get maybe a little too in depth below the cut, cus this got too gahdamn long lol

Hesh- peak dad/husband material. giggling kicking his feet ‘n crying when he finds out he’s gonna be a father lol. he’d be as involved as possible and I see this being something he’s the most proud of in his life. i think a bit of cycle breaking would be going on with him as far as the way he and Logan were raised (looking at you Elias, yea🤨), he’d do things a little different but in a good way. would still model his parenting style quite a bit after Elias’ though in many ways. def a worrier too, and may be a little overbearing sometimes bc of it

Logan- similar to Hesh, he’d be an enthusiastic dad I think. would brag about his kids consistently, regardless of what they do/become. type to be like “my kid made macaroni art at school the other day, it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen” lmao. i see him also being veryyy supportive in general, like do/be whatever you want, as long as you’re a good person. would also parent similar to how he and Hesh were raised, but i almost see him being more lenient in some ways. def the kind to let his kids learn from their mistakes and learn good, though.

Elias- ofc we saw a lot of how he was as a father in the game (lots of debatable choices being made💀), but i think he honest to god, like most parents, did the best he could. doesn’t necessarily excuse certain things, and i think Hesh specifically prob has a lot of baggage from that, but he was also a good dad in many ways methinks. generally solid father material alongside the easily criticizable behavior LMAO

Merrick- first, he def gives me girl dad energy lol. but regardless, i see him being very very loving to his kid(s) actually, like “this is my heart and soul, everything is for them, I live breath and die for them” type shit. I can see him being a bit strict at times, mostly due to his protective nature. under the personality we see from him in the game, I think his kids/kids in general would probably bring out a goofier side of him too, the dad jokes would be unlocked immediately lol

Keegan- I see him being like a mix of Hesh ‘n Merrick tbh. Very very proud to be a father, like “I’d put it on my resume if I could”, and would love unconditionally. i think he’d be the type to maybe be a bit overbearing/intense at times like Hesh, mostly due to how much he cares about his kids wellbeing/success in life. also very supportive, and i could see him struggling a bit with how to juggle his fatherhood vs his career (like a lot of military parents tbh). he’d be the kinda dad that his kid(s) really respect i think

Kick- i honestly can’t see him being a father too much, i think he’d probably be the one here to not have kids. however if he were a father, he’d take it very seriously. i think he’d be the loving and goofy kind, his personality would really shine as a dad methinks. in his kids early years, I think he’d be tweaking out a lot like “what if I’m not good enough, what if something happens to them”, but as they get older i see his attitude almost changing like “oh yea, they love to swan dive off the back of the couch, we just let them” lol.

Rorke-pre fed here cause let’s be honest…🫥. i see him being a great dad, probably struggles with balancing that vs his career like Keegan might. he’d also be a bragger when he could like Logan, but in a more “yea my kid is on the honor roll…literally got all A’s, wtf can your kid do?🙄”proud type way lmfao. i see him being very dynamic as a father, a bit strict but a bit lax. sometimes he’s more present, sometimes he’s not. I think he’d value teaching and guiding his kid(s) like Elias. also a “you’ll learn your lesson” type of guy. you fuck up and complain and he’s like “hmm, tough shit, better luck next time” after he imparts his fatherly wisdom about it lol

[limarieb]

(shades of) maroon

Pairing(s): Wanda Maximoff x (implied) fem!reader

Summary: The development of your relationship with Wanda from its glorious beginning to its bitter end. (Inspired by 'Maroon' by Taylor Swift.)

Warnings: strangers to friends to lovers, fluff... to angst, no happy ending (this is my weak attempt at writing angst), character death

Word Count: 6.2k

Author's Note: im still in the process of writing new stuff, so i hope you can enjoy some old writing from my ao3 in the meantime... also, requests are still open!

Main Masterlist | ao3 | Wattpad

...

When the morning came we, Were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf, 'Cause we lost track of time again, Laughing with my feet in your lap, Like you were my closest friend...

The stench of alcohol plagued the air surrounding you. You were not one to drink much, but Tony insisted on organizing another party — what was to be celebrated, you never really figured out. As the moment thirty minutes had passed since your arrival, the several shots you had done with Natasha were beginning to take effect. You were not drunk yet, but the shots definitely acted as a stepping stone. Beneath your skin, an underlying buzz was being contained.

You were talking to Natasha about the latest news in your life, considering the two of you do not always get to talk as much as you do since she is constantly on missions across the globe. As you raised your cup to your lips, you realized it was too effortless to lift. You excused yourself, making your way through the various attendees to get to the bar for a refill.

When the bartender asked you what you wished to order, you requested your usual: "Vodka Coke, please."

You remained where you were, but you elevated your left arm vertically enough to be placed on the counter. Slightly leaning, you use the angle to reach with your right hand into your pocket to retrieve the phone being stored there. Before you could, however, an unknown voice seemed to acknowledge you, "Interesting drink-of-choice... most go for a Rum and Coke."

You turned around, expecting to find out who this opinionated person is. What you did not expect, though, is said person being a beautiful brunette. Her eyes were one of the brightest shades of green, but they were dulled by the dark eyeliner outlining her eyes. The lengthy, brown hair cascaded down her back and shoulders. You even admired her sense of style; it was edgy — to say the least — but still very fashionable in your opinion. "I like to think I'm interesting," you began. "Otherwise, I'd be boring, and that's no fun. Even so, I refuse to accept that vodka is not the better one, especially compared to rum."

She let out a small laugh when you added a theatric gag at the end, showing your distaste for the latter drink. It was a bit dramatic, but you would do it again just to hear that laugh once more. With a slight smirk forming, she returned: "Coming from a place of people who praised that drink on their hands and knees, I am sure that I'm obligated to agree."

It was your turn to provide a chuckle at her joke, "Russia?"

"Close," she replied, tilting her head from left to right. "Sokovia."

Within seconds, the mood dampened a bit. You saw the numerous news reports of what had happened to the small country: ultimate destruction. There was a sharp intake of your breath, confused about how to properly respond in this situation (especially when you are intoxicated). The girl began chewing on her lip, which you assumed to be a nervous habit due to your lack of an immediate reply.

Once you finally opened your mouth, the bartender returned with your glass. You wrapped your hand around the glass, lifting it to take a sip. It was relatively sweet, yet it still contributed to the increasing levels of liquid courage.

The awkward tension was still present between you two. You could have simply left and returned to Natasha; instead, you opted to ignore it before she had the chance to leave you at the bar. "So," the word started to become drawn out. "Wanna get out of here?"

Her eyes widened, evidently thinking something entirely different than what you were expecting. "Not like that! I just mean, do you want to hang out at my apartment or something, instead of here? It's quite loud, and parties aren't really my thing, anyway. I just come because the alcohol is free. You don't have to, of course, but..."

The anxiety was starting to overpower the liquid courage, causing you to trail off as you finished your question; you left the hope that she accepts your offer to come with you unspoken. Finally, you could see the smile return to her face, removing most of the nervousness from your body. It was small but there nonetheless. "Ok," she agreed. "Under one condition, though. I want to know your name."

"Y/N. But, I'll also need to know yours."

"Wanda. Wanda Maximoff."

"Well, Wanda," you placed your now empty glass back on the counter. "We better get going."

Nothing necessarily happened that night. It was purely innocuous fun away from the overwhelming crowd at the party. Nonetheless, it was still one of the best nights of your life. You put some records on the turntable that sat on your bookshelf, allowing your favorite songs and scents of incense to fill the room. Wanda sat at the top of your bed with her back up against the wall. She was busy observing the decorations in your room, inferring the various quirks you possessed.

The two of you talked about many things that night. In the days after, you preferred to blame the openness on the alcohol; however, you knew it was because of her. It was simply easy to talk about anything and everything with Wanda. The Sokovian even shared some of her own stories, albeit with some difficulties. You ensured her it was alright if she didn't want to share, and she admired the respect you gave.

That is not to say it was all sad, traumatic memories being shared. You found out a few things about Wanda when she is tipsy and tired: she can be quite the comedian; she likes physical touch if she is comfortable with the person, resulting in the legs that were laying on your own; and her accent — which is incredibly enticing, you might add — becomes more prominent.

It was like you two had known each other since childhood; if another person had been present, they would assume you were best friends. And, honestly, you wouldn't disagree.

That was the night Wanda had both entered your life for the first time and risen the ranks to "best friend" status.

How'd we end up on the floor anyway? You say, "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw top Rosé", that's how, I see you everyday now...

A month had passed since the night of Tony's party, otherwise known as the night you befriended Wanda. You had seen each other practically every day since then, specifically in the evenings when you do not usually work. A few significant developments had taken place since then, including — but not limited to — the Sokovian becoming an Avenger. You could tell she was apprehensive about it all, concerning the relatively unstable powers she holds; thus, you tried to reassure her whenever you could in moments when her anxieties became overwhelming.

You texted her, letting her know that you were coming over to make her dinner that night. Thankfully, she had training, so the surprise you had planned wouldn't be ruined. A couple of days prior, you researched different Sokovian recipes. You vaguely recalled something she said about her favorite food being from home, but you couldn't exactly recall the name of the dish. After a few minutes, you finally found it: Chicken Paprikash.

As the cooking was coming to an end, you heard your phone ding from the counter, indicating that you had received a text message. Quickly, you wiped your hands of the food remnants on the towel that was closest to you. When the screen lit up, you noticed the message was from Wanda, saying she would be down in a few minutes. Panic began to bubble within you, as the food wasn't done yet and you haven't even gotten the drinks poured. Surely, it is not actually the time you planned to meet—

6:00 PM. That was the time staring back at you on the kitchen clock. Although, you did not have the time to think about how to rectify the problem. Footsteps were heard behind you, and you heard the mystery person inhale deeply through the nose. "Wow," they exclaimed. You knew that accented voice from anywhere: Wanda.

Slowly, you turned on your heels. "Hey, Wanda," you replied, unsure of what to say considering you were not done cooking let alone planning on what to say once she arrived.

"Is that Paprikash?" she asked as she approached the pot on the stove to take a glance for herself.

You gave a shy nod in return, "Yeah, I know you've been stressed lately with this and all." You used your free hand to motion to the surrounding building, referring to the fact she became an Avenger. "So, I wanted to do something to help, to bring you comfort. And, I know you said once that your favorite food was something from home, but I couldn't remember the name of it. But, fortunately, I was able to find it with my expertise in searching things on the internet. Ok, wait... that sounds weird—"

You stopped rambling once Wanda turned away from the stove to face you. Immediately, you noticed the tears forming in her eyes. Being the anxious person you were, you had assumed this was because of something you had done wrong. "No, no. Please don't cry, Wands. Did I make it wrong? I can make something else, or I— I can change it if I need to..."

It appeared to be quite the opposite, though. Wanda walked toward where you were standing only a few feet away. She looked up at you, taking in the genuine expression of concern on your face. No one has ever cared this much for her, excluding the family she once had when they were alive. So, she wrapped her arms around your abdomen and pulled your body as close to hers as possible. With her head resting on your shoulder near the collarbone (and your head laying on her own), you both relished in the comfort of the embrace. You brought your arms to her back, alternating between trailing your hand in up-and-down motions and in circles. Never had a hug felt so warm and relieving.

"No," she broke the silence after a moment had passed. "It's perfect, truly, Y/N. It's everything. I— I don't know how to thank you."

"You being here is enough."

The two of you ate the dish together in the peace of your own company. You found a spare bottle of rosé in Tony's cabinets, taking it to the table to be poured as needed. She loved it, as she had anticipated; yet, she loved your reaction almost as much as the food itself. You had told her that you had never had Paprikash before, that this was the first time you had eaten the dish let alone make it (which is one of the reasons why you were nervous). So, she waited impatiently with her bottom lip between her teeth as you took the first bite.

You had to admit, it was very good. In fact, it was so good that you let out a moan due to the combination of flavors currently occurring in your mouth. Upon realizing the sound you just realized, blood began to rush to your cheeks; the wine did not help the involuntary blush forming. The Sokovian laughed, not noting the latter events, and the two of you resumed eating the food and drinking the wine as conversation flowed easily.

It felt like you were transported back in time to the night you first met, feeling a similar buzz radiating under your skin. It took a similar effect on Wanda; therefore, you two decided to retire to her bedroom in the compound for the evening. It was late and you were not exactly the most sober, so she didn't want you driving home.

"Well, how could I say 'no' to a sleepover?" you supplied, humorously.

She smiled, and a sort of gleam came into her emerald eyes. Having been practically raised by sitcoms, she had always wanted something like this during her youth: a cliché sleepover with her best friend. She told you as such, "Good. I'm excited... I've never had a sleepover before, so..."

The shock you felt from that statement must have been evident on your face, for the gleam began to fade a bit while her expression slightly fell. "Well, that just won't do. We have to make this the best, classic, all-American girl sleepover. We need movies, snacks, blankets, and pillows. Do you have a game? Actually, never mind that. We can just do a verbal game like Truth or Dare or 20 Questions."

The plan you began drafting out loud caused the shine to return to Wanda's eyes. For hours, you spent your time in a fort you two built out of several blankets and pillows on the floor. The space was confined, requiring the two of you to lay as close as humanly possible. You watched two movies on your laptop, then switched to playing some games. You ended up playing 20 Questions, wherein you discovered some interesting things about each other. To summarize the most important conclusions, it was found out that: she has a guilty pleasure for stealing other people's clothes (specifically, oversized items like sweats or shirts), and you often took smoke breaks when you got stressed or overwhelmed (she liked to joke, saying she could tell that you were a "little stoner" at heart). However, the most intriguing discovery that was unearthed during the game was the potential that the other was not straight. During a round in which you were asked about your celebrity crush, you quickly gave your answer: "Florence Pugh or Brittany Snow. I don't know; they're both hot, honestly."

While you weren't exactly ashamed of your sexuality, you weren't sure of her opinions regarding the subject and didn't want to risk losing her. It never really came up in past conversations. As you registered what you just admitted, you kept your gaze down toward the carpet where you two were sitting. She gave a hum of approval, "I totally get it. Brittany in Pitch Perfect? Stunning. Florence in the Little Women remake? Perfect."

You looked up, finally allowing your eyes to meet hers. Obviously, she could tell you were succumbing to the nerves of your mind (it also helps when her powers make sensing others' strong emotions very easy). She remained in the same position from before, but her hand reached for the one resting in your lap. Taking it in hers, she gave it a gentle squeeze; the grasp strong enough to let you know she's not going to leave you. "I do not care if you're gay, Y/N. You know that, right? I don't mind women myself from time to time. It honestly depends on their personality more than their gender, you know?"

You have never felt so relieved and understood by another individual. You acknowledged her with a quick, almost unnoticeable nod. "Good," she continued with her classic smile on her face. "Wanna watch another movie?"

Sheltered by the blanket structure, you two resumed the positions of laying on the floor. This time, as the movie played on the computer in your lap, you felt her head lean on your soldier. Then, her right hand gradually crept closer to your left hand. Minutes later, her fingers were threaded between yours. At first, your heart was beating fast because you were nervous — she was making you nervous. As if she sensed this (which she did), she was able to calm you by using her thumb to rub the back of your hand.

You didn't have time to think about what it all meant that night; the two of you immediately fell asleep, and the rather serious elements of the night were seldom mentioned. Although, you only had one thought relating to Wanda before succumbing to slumber: Oh God.

And I chose you, The one I was dancing with, In New York, no shoes, Looked up, at the sky and it was...

Honestly, you were not sure if you were going to ever mention these newfound feelings you felt for the Sokovian. You wanted her to come to you, relying on whether or not she felt comfortable. While you wanted nothing more than to know whether or not she returned the sentiment, you also recognized she is in a fragile position. For instance, what if you tell her, and she totally freaks and doesn't want to be friends anymore? Or, what if she thinks that you don't want to be friends if she doesn't like you back, leaving her thinking she'll lose you? To say you were spiraling oftentimes about the situation was an understatement.

It didn't occur all of the time, though. In fact, the times you were simply spending moments with Wanda were enough to satisfy you, for that's all you truly wanted at the end of the day: her and her happiness.

About four months after you had met at the party, you were laying in Wanda's room at the compound. You were scrolling through your phone, looking at emails from the past few days that you had missed. Wanda, on the other hand, was reading a book she had just bought from a local bookstore. The room was under a comfortable silence; that is, until Wanda broke the silence with a random question: "Have you ever seen stars? I mean, in the sky... as the movies show them?"

"You haven't?"

It was not the best reply, looking back on it. The surprised tone could come across as judgmental — and, it definitely must have. The Sokovian began to sink into herself, her gaze lowering and the volume of her voice almost completely reduced. "No, I haven't," she said in a shaky response. "When I lived near Novi Grad, there were rarely nights where the sky was clear of clouds and fog enough to see any stars. Also, being locked in a cell made it quite difficult in terms of getting outside to see them. I haven't really stopped to think about it again until now."

You realized your mistake, "Sorry, Wands. I didn't mean to say it like that, like I was judging you. It's just weird to think, I guess, that you haven't seen them." There was a slight pause in your speech, "You know what? Come on." You grabbed her arm, pulling her off of the bed with you. The sudden action caused her to drop her book, but she was too occupied with trying to figure out what you were up to care about the forgotten novel.

"Where are we going, Y/N?"

"You'll see," you replied in a confident but excited tone.

"Y/N," she chuckled, loosening up. "We don't have our shoes on."

As the two of you entered the elevator, you pushed the button to take you to the highest possible floor. "Eh, shoes are for losers, anyway."

The ride took a minute or two, but the doors eventually opened in an achingly slow manner. You knew the sky would be clear tonight, therefore there would be stars visible in the upstate New York region. You took her hand in yours and dragged her outside to the rooftop.

"Well, look up!" you said, surely.

Wanda took a deep breath, then she hesitantly lifted her head. She gasped at the sight: hundreds or thousands of little white dots littered the dark, night sky. It was beautiful; there was nothing to compare it to in that regard.

She hugged you, similarly to how she did the night you made her favorite dinner for the first time.

"Do you like it?" you whispered into the ear that was conveniently located close to your mouth.

The Sokovian gave a slight nod, "I love it. I don't think I have ever seen something so extraordinary."

You nodded your own head in an unspoken agreement. The two of you just stayed there, remaining in the comfort of each other's arms as you took in the sights around you. After several moments passed, Wanda suddenly lifted her head to look directly into your eyes.

"Dance with me," she unexpectedly requested. It was not posed as a question, so you didn't think you had a choice in the matter (not that you'd deny her of anything she wanted anyways).

You moved your arms to be placed on her shoulders, encircling her neck; her arms maintained their positions around your waist. She moved her body closer, leaning near to the point that her forehead was resting against yours. This position should've been awkward — it would've been had it been anyone else; with Wanda, it felt so natural. Under the stars, the two of you simply swayed in the cool breeze of the August air.

"Y/N?"

You hummed.

"I choose you."

Your heart must have skipped multiple beats at that moment, but it did not stop you from giving your own confession: "I choose you, too."

In a speed that can only be deemed as torturous, you waited as Wanda slowly leaned in closer. Her eyes were constantly switching between your eyes and your lips. "Can— Can I kiss you?"

"Please," you practically whimpered.

Her head finally tilted and got closer until it hit — absolute fireworks. As her lips gracefully touched yours, you allowed your eyes to flutter shut to fully experience the moment in the most sensual way. It was not rushed or needy; it was the opposite, defined by the intimacy and passion that cannot possibly be found elsewhere. You could not think about anything other than how her rose-colored lips felt against yours. It is like the moment in which you finally find that missing piece that perfectly fits, bringing the puzzle all together; she's the missing piece, and your life is the completed puzzle.

As the kiss ended, you reluctantly pulled away. Her eyes remained closed at first, but they opened soon after. Her piercing green eyes never failed to stun you, not since the first day your own eyes landed upon her. You took your right hand, pushing a few strands of hair that had fallen to go behind her ear. She took her bottom lip between her teeth.

"What are you nervous about?" you inquired, noting the habit.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"You were biting your lip," you explain. "You only do that if you're nervous about something, like when you first talked about Sokovia or when you just wanted me to like the Paprikash because it's your favorite."

It was not the response she expected, but something about it made Wanda like you even more than she had previously. "Nothing, truly. I just really like you... just in case the kiss we had did not prove that enough."

"I can't even begin to describe how much I like you, Wanda. You make me so inexplicably happy; you have for a while now."

"A while, huh?" she teased, her signature smirk forming.

Unfortunately, so did your blush as you conceded, "About three months, give or take."

The Sokovian tried to do the mental work to deduce the time period, "Around the night of the sleepover?"

The blush on your cheeks brightened, and you gave a nod to affirm her response.

"We got there, eventually," she offered.

"Yeah," you agreed with a grin. "We did."

You couldn't resist the temptation any longer and shifted your head to give her more kisses. You started with light butterfly kisses on her jawline. Slowly but surely, you transferred to her cheek, to her forehead, to the tip of her nose, then — finally — locked your lips to hers.

If you could kiss her for hours, you would; so, you did. That night under the sea of stars, you two repeatedly exchanged kisses loaded with all of the feelings that had been pent up inside for a while.

The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me, And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was- The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust it grew between telephones The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon...

You weren't sure exactly when you knew it was love. Obviously, you have known you loved her as a person for a while considering she was your best friend; but, romantic love — loving her as a partner, your supposed other half — is entirely distinct from that sort of platonic love of friends and family.

In retrospect, you think it has to be New Year's Eve. It was below freezing outdoors, leaving residents confined to the inside of their homes. This was not an issue for you and your girlfriend, for you two would never complain about the need to cuddle with each other for extra warmth.

Due to the holiday, Tony was throwing another extravagant party, which you two had obviously been invited to attend. That is how you found yourself in this predicament:

You had been standing out on the balcony for about fifteen minutes; it was getting a bit hectic inside with many people being in attendance. Normally, you'd just seek Wanda for comfort; however, you couldn't find her, leaving you to your own devices. The only immediate solution you could think of was to exit the situation by standing on the balcony in the cold air.

Though you'd been lost in thought for a while, a pair of familiar hands brought you back to the present. They tangled around your waist, one pulling you close to the front of the body behind you and the other holding a glass of red wine.

"дорогая, what are you doing out here? It's freezing," she moved her face closer to your neck. You tilted your head to the side in order to give her more access. She took advantage of this offer, peppering sweet kisses to the side of your neck. "Are you okay?" she asks, the concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay now," you confirmed, trying to ease her mind in the way that she does yours. "I just felt overwhelmed in there... a lot of people."

She gave a hum of agreement, "I don't even know how he knows that many people."

Her comment elicited a small laugh from you, which she took as a good sign of your emotional well-being. You let out a whine of annoyance when she briefly let go of you. As you turned to face her, though, your arm must have nudged the hand holding the glass of wine. Before anything could be done, the red liquid began to seep into your attire.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Wanda raised her empty hand to cover her mouth in shock. "дорогая, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spill it. Oh my God, I ruined your clothes."

Meanwhile, you tried saying her name multiple times to try to stop her ranting. You understood it was not her fault; if anything, it was mainly yours for lacking basic spatial awareness. Eventually, you realized she would not stop on her own accord; thus, you placed your lips on hers in a final attempt to get her to slow down before she officially spiraled.

When you finally pulled away, she kept her eyes close because she was afraid of your rejection. "Wanda?" you pleaded. "Wanda? Baby, can you please open your eyes for me?"

In an apprehensive manner, she revealed her eyes to you. If the tears were not sufficient in proving her internal panic, you could feel the anxiety that was radiating from her body. "It's okay. I promise that it is okay, baby. Accidents happen, okay?"

She sniffled, clearly upset but relieved that you were not mad at her for the mistake. You raised your hands to her face, using your thumbs to wipe the lonely tears that began to slowly roll down her lightly-freckled cheeks. As you did so, the two of you stared into each other's eyes in an endless endeavor. You could barely make out the sound of a countdown coming from indoors:

"10..."

You moved to be as close to her as you could.

"9..."

"Wanda..." you said.

"8..."

You kept your thumbs stagnant now, simply cupping her face between your hands.

"7..."

"Y/N?"

"6..."

She followed suit, circling your torso with her hands.

"5..."

"I— I want to tell you something."

"4..."

"What, дорогая?" she pondered aloud, genuinely curious as to what you were about to say.

"3..."

"I love you, Wanda Maximoff. Not even with just my heart, I love you with my whole being."

"2..."

Your novel confession caused her breath to hitch in her throat. The tears that you had just wiped away were now returning with fervor.

"1..."

"I love you, too. I love you so much."

Thus, as the clock struck midnight signaling the start of a new year, you kissed the woman you loved with such a deep, irreplaceable passion. You felt like you could never come down from this high.

When the silence came we were shaking blind and hazy, How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbin' with your head in your hands Ain't that the way shit always ends?

Looking back on your relationship, it was evident that you were susceptible to naïveté. When the clock strikes midnight, it does not stay midnight. The minutes will keep passing, for time does not stop for anything or anyone. Unfortunately, you had to find this out the hard way:

"Y/N?" you heard your girlfriend call you from a nearby room.

"In here!"

As she walked into the room, there was an unusual heaviness in her step. The atmosphere around you, too, was spoiled; it made you feel uneasy.

"Is something wrong, Wands?"

Given that she couldn't meet your gaze and continued to play with the rings on her fingers, it was evident that she didn't want to say whatever she had to, or that she simply didn't know how to do it in the first place: "I have to leave. I won't be back for a while."

"What do you mean?" you became even more confused. "Wanda, what the hell? What do you mean you have to leave? You have to go where? Go... Why?"

She stepped further back in favor of pacing the room. "I— I don't know, Y/N. They want me... the government, I mean... because of this mess between Tony and Steve. Natasha is setting up a safe house and a fake identity for me somewhere, most likely not on this continent. I'm so sorry. I don't want to go, but you're not safe as long as I'm here. I can't let you get hurt because of me... that has happened enough times in my life."

"No, Wanda," you cried out, not believing the words were actually true. "No! I— this isn't happening. No, you're not leaving."

"дорогая..." she trailed off, unsure of how to express her sympathy.

"No!" you began to yell, officially beyond upset. "You can't leave me; I refuse. I don't care whether you think I'm safe or not. You don't get to make that decision for me; we make that choice together. I want to be with you, Wanda! I love you; please don't leave me."

The sight unfolding before the Sokovian was heartbreaking. She could only repeat her earlier words, "I'm sorry, дорогая... I will always love you, Y/N, no matter what."

With your arms shakily encircled around your noticeably trembling body, you attempted to find solace. Further, your red face had tears flowing with no end. Wanda eventually gathered the encourage approach you. Initially, you tried to resist it by pushing her away or shrugging her off. You were so frustrated, wanting to show her that you were upset she was leaving you when you two could have stayed together. But, you gave in, for you'll always need her comfort in the end. You probably looked pathetic as you held onto her, sobbing into her chest with your arms clutching hers as if she'd fade away at any moment. Then again, you have never felt your heart physically break as much as it did that day.

Unfortunately, that sentiment didn't last very long. Only a few months later you received a call from an unknown number. Before the Avengers left and began to hide around the globe, you never would have answered the call of an unknown number. However, you know Wanda was also told not to contact you. At least, she would not be able to contact you with her personal phone, which she had left at your place with you.

Actually, you were on her phone when it happened. Oddly, you were feeling okay that day. It felt like the weight of the sadness was lifting, beginning to understand this situation would all be temporary. So, you allowed yourself to finally open her phone and scroll through all of the pictures and videos she had of you two. As you were watching a video that she took of you and her at Christmas last year, the call from the unknown number came through on your own phone. You stood silent for a moment, as if the phone would sense your presence and stop ringing if you moved a muscle. Your subconscious freeze ended, and you scrambled to the phone upon thinking about the possibility that Wanda is finally calling you after these past few months on the run.

You were close; the phone call was from Natasha. You knew she had been keeping tabs on Wanda in the beginning. You assumed she was currently acting as the middleman for a message from Wanda — you were very wrong.

"Hello?"

"Y/N?" the voice came through the speaker.

"Natasha? Is that really you? Hello? Oh my God, is everything alright? Wanda... how's Wanda? Have you heard from her? She hasn't contacted me at all this whole time, and I'm starting to get worried. Has it been too long? Natasha, what is happening? I'm scared..."

"Y/N..."

You didn't like that tone. It's the one someone uses when they know something is wrong, but they don't want to tell you that said thing is wrong. It was at that point you knew something was really wrong.

"No, Natasha. No. Tell me. I need to know. I love her, Natasha. I deserve to know."

"Wanda... she's— she's gone."

Time will never stop for anything or anyone; that principle was evident long ago when you two first confessed your love for each other on the balcony on New Year's Eve. That does not mean time cannot exponentially slow down. For at this moment, that is exactly what happened. As if your body took over for your mind, you went on autopilot: hanging up the phone on Natasha without any words being said and falling onto your knees in a fit of despair. The sob released from within can only be described as primitive, and the feeling as permanent. You clutched your chest, similar to the way you did when Wanda first told you she'd have to leave months ago.

That is not to say you blame Wanda or anyone around you, including yourself, for the outcome of today. You know there was no way of knowing, so logically nothing could've been changed in the end nor the beginning.

You were bound to be alone. Wanda wouldn't be there to hold your hand when you watched a movie, gently kiss the side of your neck when you were overwhelmed, or worry herself at the silly mistakes she made; she wouldn't be there to roll her eyes at your admittedly stupid jokes, kiss your lips while you made dinner for the two of you, or hold you in bed after a long day or a terrible nightmare. But, most importantly, Wanda — the love of your life — wouldn't be there to get married to you, raise the three children you two always wanted (because "one is not enough and two is average, but four is definitely too much"), or experience the other joys of spending the rest of your lives together as you two had intended.

At first, you were just sad all of the time. It was an endless pit of despair, rendering you hopeless. You had your whole life planned with her being in it; how could you ever live that same life, especially happily, now that she's not here to experience it with you?

Then, a switch occurred in your mind one day. The sadness quickly faded into a wave of hateful, vengeful anger. It felt like your body and soul were constantly plagued with so much anger and hurt, because how dare this happen to you two? How dare this happen to her after she's already been through and lost so much? And, how dare this happen to you after you finally found your person?

The worst of it all is it felt like you still see her everywhere, from the compound to the grocery store. Even today, there are constant reminders making it impossible for you to escape the maroon lens Wanda had left on your life. You had once perceived the maroon to be a sign of warmth and love, of Wanda herself; how could you possibly have known that one day all it would come to mean was the seething red of anger?

End.

[oxygenbefore1775]

how they wrap gifts

➼ featuring: annie, armin, eren, jean, hange, levi, mikasa, pieck, porco, reiner zeke

⋆꙳•❅‧ ‧❆ ₊⋆ ⋆₊ ❆‧ ‧❅•꙳⋆

annie

since she very carefully unwraps her own presents, she ends up reusing the paper for the following year - oftentimes the same paper would go as a wrapping for the same person she'd received the gift (and thus the paper) the previous year from

measures out a piece of paper by eye and never gets the size wrong

a pull-string bow nestled in a corner is peak level of gift decoration for Annie but she'd always make sure to attach name tags

armin

chooses wrapping paper and ribbon based not on the festive season but on the vibes of a person the gift is intended for - so everyone gets their gift theme-coordinated

adjusts his wrapping technique to suit the shape of the present perfectly, wraps and unwraps the gift multiple times for necessary corrections

adds a personal hand-written card within each present alongside the recipient's favourite treats

eren

uses too much tape and spends too much time hunched over each present, making sure every edge is crisp and neat

opts for solid color wrapping paper as he prefers to write the recipient's name directly on the paper

no non-sense embellishments - if he ever uses one, it would be a ribbon tightly wrapped around the present to ensure its security, topped off with a plain looking bow

jean

too cool for conventional design wrapping paper so he uses kraft paper and customizes it with doodles putting undoubtedly and most certainly zero effort in the creation process

can't stand the look of tape on the kraft paper which results in him hot-glue-gunning his way through each present for speed

ties a length of twine around the present and glues on a totally not thoroughly planned out potpourri arrangement for a finishing touch

hange

uses metallic and holographic wrapping paper paired with ribbon of the same bright neon color

the wrapping is meant to be destroyed in their mind that's why they pack the presents like party crackers and fill it with confetti and glitter

always adds a bag of goodies to the main gift

levi

uses double-sided tape since it's more neat than regular tape or glue

color-codes gifts with different kinds of wrapping paper so that he remembers which present is for whom - one could say that he chooses the recipient's favorite design but he'd never admit to it

has adopted one wrapping style for himself and never strays away from it, honing it to perfection in speed and precision

mikasa

opts for furoshiki instead of paper since it's more practical and would skip over the messy wrapping process - fabric with subtle flower patterns is her favorite

embroiders the recipient's initials on each piece of cloth to add a personal touch and ensure that she wouldn't mix up the presents

makes the bow so tight for security that only she is able to untie it afterwards and tucks dried flowers under the knots for the look and slight fragrance

pieck

never really bothers with the choice of wrapping paper - if there isn't some lying around the house, she'd simply make due with whatever newspaper she has

glitter and pull-string bows draw the attention from all the wrapping mistakes that's why Pieck rarely starts over and keeps going no matter what

might go an extra mile of wrapping gifts several times just to fuck with people

porco

implements more complicated styles of wrapping including origami patterns and such

prefers scented wrapping paper basing his paper choices primarily on fragrance rather than appearance - also makes sure that everyone knows that he uses scented paper and thus is fancier than them

makes it his mission to use as little tape as possible

reiner

since most of the stationery in the house was bought for Gabi, Reiner often finds himself using her supplies, with glitter glue being the most frequent choice

his presents are usually the biggest since he oftentimes gets carried away and buys a bunch of mini-gifts alongside the main one

the little bows he crafts at the end of the ribbons or to attach a name tag are consistently the cutest - the same goes for the thematic stickers strategically placed throughout the present

zeke

it would be a stroke of luck to see Zeke's gifts wrapped in any sort of wrapping paper, or just paper for that matter - he doubts that it would be worth his time and effort wrapping each present up just for the paper to get eventually destroyed

that's why gift bags are his besties - not only do they save him the effort of wrapping but they can also be repurposed for future use

the same goes for the name tags - he's customized wooden blanks with the names of a set group of people and reuses them from year to year

[marimayscarlett]

*hands you an empty ask that allows you to talk about most beloved pretty men*

*walks away to watch Matrix on my laptop in my LOTR sweatshirt*

Hi 😌

Thank you for this! I will use this ask to present two little, very self-centered lists about my favourite old men, eventhough no one really asked for it ✨

First up of course my love, always:

5 Reasons why I love and adore Richard for almost 10 years now 🤍

1) His enthusiasm When it comes to his passion in music, Richard is extremely enthusiastic, regularly bubbling over with creative ideas, tries out different guitar gear to get the perfect sound (even builds his own tech equipment like the mic Roboter he shows here) and exudes just an intense drive for music. You can feel how much he thinks about the music he puts out, how much of a perfectionist Richard can be (a fact which sometimes makes things more complicated/tiresome) for him and how much joy he can find in work. Music even has a therapeutic effect to him, leading him out of his depressive episode in 2019. This man really burns for his passion and I love this enthusiasm 🤍

2) His openness It is clear that Richard had some problems in the past with drug abuse as well as mental health related, due to some conflicts in his past - depression, frustration and longing for appreciation accompanied him for a long time as he mentions in-depth here, and maybe still do. And he is outspoken about it, wanted to change things and actively looked for help! Things you need strength and courage for, and Richard allows himself to be openly vulnerable, like when he talks about it in interviews. It might be a reason why some people don't really like him or find him boastful and self centered, yet I can't stress enough how important his openness about topics like these is! It shows that yes, everyone can have problems, might have to deal with trauma for several decades and yet can overcome it. And this openness and honesty is something I find quite admirable.

3) His honesty and not being afraid to express his opinions Richard does not mice any words when it comes to express his opinions and thoughts on things. He is very honest most of the time; about how exhausting yet exciting work in a group like Rammstein can be, how much he dislikes certain things and cities, also about personal things like himself being quickly irritated by things, needing alone time to come to terms with feelings and impressions, about how much he can be a perfectionist and controll freak… Whenever you read an interview with him, you sooner or later are confronted with an opinion of him. And I think that's a way to get to 'know' him as a person a bit! This might sound 'closeminded' that he's so opinionated, but he's pretty much the opposite: for example does Richard express his dislike for German rap and hiphop (he clames he just doesn't understand these music genres) and yet he's always open to listen to tracks which others who him to get to know more about different music styles.

4) The courage to improve and reinvent himself Richard is not afraid of change, self growth and taking steps forward (away from bad influences) or trying out new things. From starting Emigrate as an additional outlet for his musical creativity to trying out different fashion styles and wearing what makes him feel comfortable - this man knows what he wants to do and wear, and goes through with it! We sometimes laugh about his questionable choices, yet he looks comfortable and has the guts to really be true to himself (at least he comes across this way), which is something a lot of people wish they could do, but are withheld from doing it due to thinking too much about opinions of others 👀

5) His cuddliness and cordiality This is something widely known and appreciated - Richard is a natural born hugger and enjoys showing his affection in a physical manner. In a world where showing affection and love openly as a male is still sometimes viewed as 'weak/unmanly', I just love how open he is about it! Plus he can be very warmhearted and appreciative with fans, too 🤍

Now on to:

5 Reasons why I fell in love with Hugo 🤍

1) His versatility I swear to God, 'versatility' is Hugo's middle name. The range of the genres he plays in, the range of the characters he plays is incredibly wide - from playing a drag queen to playing a ruthless AI agent to a fool in love to an elven lord to a bisexual business man to a smug detective to a crossdressing police officer to several classical theatre roles… I could go on and on. The reason for this wide range of roles is: he just chooses what interests him. Not thinking about what brings the most money or prestige, but choosing roles which speak to him on different levels; which are nuanced, have some sort of twist to them and are neither black or white, which is an important thing for him.

2) His devotion and calmness This man first met his partner Katrina when he was four years old, they got acquaintanted properly in acting school and fell in love in their mid 20s - and are still together to this day. He really is a proper family man, absolutely devoted to his partner (mentioning over the course of several interviews that one of the reason for him loving to work in Australia is being close to her and their kids). He's also very, very down to earth, quite modest and an overall a really positive sweetheart and loved by his actor colleagues - his close friend and an actress he worked with a lot Cate Blanchett once called him 'a god amongst men'. And this type of constancy and calmness has such an relaxing effect on me - sounds strange, I know, but this just makes him even more likable for me.

3) His outspokenness and support for important causes When I tell you that this man takes no shit and uses his voice for bringing attention to significant topics, I mean it. Hugo advocated avidly for marriage equality in Australia, slammed far-right movements and republicans (including Trump) for blindly using imagery from 'The Matrix' and 'V for Vendetta' for questionable causes and not looking further into the meaning of the movies and wants to raise awareness for men's mental health issues. He is also an advocate for epilepsy awareness, a condition which with which he was diagnosed with in his early teen years.

4) His voice and his use of it Hugo could read a phone book to me, I'd thank him on my knees and would pay my left kidney for it. He has a lovely voice, a quite calm way of speaking, a beautiful vocabulary (most likely also shaped by his work as an on stage actor) and way of describing things. Hugo can use his voice to really give his roles different levels and depth - he modelled the voice of Agent Smith after American news anchors and sounds so different than for example as soft spoken yet firm Elrond in 'Lord of the Rings' or ambitious and borderline aggressive Richard in 'The Dirtwater Dynasty'. Now you'd say "well, that's his job as an actor 🤨" but honestly, I've never encountered another actor who uses his voice so intensely.

5) His love for Australian cinema Hugo is not the biggest fan of Hollywood, which of course can seem quite contradictory considering the huge productions he was in. But he's extremely invested in Australian productions as well if not more, which he continuously supports and brings attention to Australian movies and culture. He's of the opinion that Australian cinema deserves way more recognition (even within the country itself) and is a great way to bring light to the culture and show the different sides of the country. It really is a shame that Australian movies aren't that much known most of the time - for example "Proof" (Hugo plays a blind man with trust issues) from 1991 is seen as an absolute classic by movie critics, yet not a lot of people outside of Australia have seen it.

(I added gifs of them both purely because well. I love looking at them)

Thank you for coming to my unasked for Ted Talk! 🎤 (Damn, I really should take up on Paul's idea and should start a business like that)

[venuslovesmascs]

Pick A Pile : Tarot Reading - Message From Spirit Guides

pile one:

someone is currently working on a creative / academic project - perhaps going back to school! spirit is encouraging you to continue planning and putting work into this! It will bring you the abundance you have been praying for!

"Now Amotenia doesn't create actual love - that would be impossible - but it does create powerful infatuation or obsession, and for that reason it is probably the most dangerous potion in this room" - Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

you may be doubting yourself because this project does not feel "of service to humanity" in the way you want it to

do not doubt the ways of the universe - and your soul path / soul journey. This thing you create - can inspire others to create, change a person's life, and change the world in your own little way.

plus - you can create another important soul project afterwards! this one feels really important don't give it up - allow yourself to have fun while creating - allow yourself to do "small projects" - not everything you do has to save the world!!

this little project - committing to it - may help you with committing to big projects in the long-run - give yourself the satisfaction of seeing something all the way through - of finishing something!!

pile two:

someone is getting out of a very stuck energy - they may have been struggling with depression and nightmares - and this caused them to not provide and take care of their partner / others as they would like.

you are making bold strokes and big changes - and spirit is really proud of you even if those around you can not tell yet!! you are beginning a whole new cycle and soul journey - this is only the beginning to your new path of enlightenment and fulfillment.

sometimes we need to go through really dark times - to remember what truly lights us up inside - and the things that "light us up" inside - and building our life styles / foundations off of that - is what leads to more long-term fulfillment and reduces burnout

you may have gotten off your feet because you were giving too much to a person - especially a love interest - and

you are starting to save yourself instead! I am proud of you!

sometimes the best way out of a situation is to accept your friends help. there are people who would love to give you emotional support at this time!! maybe even physical support - help cleaning your room - don't be afraid to ask friends - that's what they are for!! you do so much for them - they WANT to give back to you - being hyper-independent is not always "less of a burden" on other people - sometimes your friends want to care for and love you - the true friends in your life WILL feel guilty when they can't care for you back!

things would not have been different - if you made the other choice. time to look ahead on the path from now on - or at least acknowledge that looking backwards is only hurting you. try to stay more present.

pile three:

how do you deal with providing comfort and support to someone who is dealing with grief and loss?

perhaps a loss of a relationship - a pet - due so someones declining mental health.

someone just needs companionship and support - its okay to not have all the answers and to not be able to fix all of someone's problems. we are all suffering in our own ways. sometimes all we can ask is to be less alone and have a hand to hold.

do not let fear hold you back from connecting with someone new - and do not be afraid of your inner-darkness - a lot of your "inner-darkness" - may be undiscovered psychic abilities - connecting to mystics and doing deity work may be beneficial to you at this time

a sacrifice may have been needed to get yourself back on track and in a better vibration - it was not easy to let go of - the universe will soon reward you for this - this period of darkness will pass.

pile four:

someone wants an ending here - of a relationship, a career, etc. they may need to get more advice from friends.

wondering if the person they are seeing - has a partner?

this is a good time to ask friends for help - and not to go this journey alone - and question if knowing the answer is truly beneficial to you or not - would having a definitive answer make the situation any better or worse? would anything change?

something about this persons reputation - or your reputation - could be on the line- and this person may unfortunately have their own "side of the story" - maybe the relationship is very toxic / ab**sive- and you will ruin this persons reputation by calling them out for being a "cheater" - think of who they were when you two were together - trust your intuition of their CHARACTER - not of the SITUATION

maybe they made some mistakes in their personal and dating life - but it seems they never intended to hurt you - or for you to develop feelings - and they may not deserve to have their reputation ruined

this is a time to show forgiveness to this person - and not try to fully understand the situation.

this was NOT a lesson or test for you - not everything is about your path lol - this is about this persons path - you showed them your heart and healed them a lot - do not betray them - it may detour their path as well - you were brought into their life to show them the path of love and light - find contentment that you are an important person on this person's journey and will always be a good story for them to tell.

[cynoph4n]

OKAY SO I POSTED ABOUT NOTCH BUT NOT YET ABOUT AURIN SO YEAH

Here's them as kids and them as teens again.

Aurin is the one with pink hair now, and black hair as a child. Aurin wears pretty much anything they like. They don't have a specific style. But they do like to wear pink, purple, blue, and grey specifically. Grey is their favourite colour. They like grunge and emo music the most, but listen to a variety (mostly alt). Aurin has only dyed their hair once, which is the pink and purple you see here. Aurin wants to try other colours too. They like shopping, pasta, going to cafes, gossiping, drawing, and talking to Notch.

As a kid, Aurin was more reserved. Aurin went to a private school and comes from a rich family. They were taught to be more respectful and watch what they say. They had high expectations for their grades and attitude. Their parents weren't exactly mean, they just care about their reputation. Aurin's mom runs a large buisness, and is the one who is almost always busy. So during Aurin's childhood, they rarely even seen their mother. Aurin's father inherited money from his grandmother (and parents), so was already rich at birth, while their mother had to work towards it. Their father, due to the family already having enough money to function, decided to be a stay-at-home parent for Aurin. They wanted to make sure Aurin got the proper treatment as a child, and an adult figure is important, so Aurin's father decided to fill the role. Aurin spent a lot of time with their father, more studying and learning life skills than playing games or watching TV together or talking. They spent a lot of time together, but it mostly felt professional rather than personal. Later, Notch moved in with them. Aurin's parents didn't really mind. A friend, someone to challenge you, is also important. So they saw no issue. They can also threaten to have Notch removed, if Aurin ever acts unreasonably.

Aurin was born a boy, with the dead name Leo, and is nonbinary, biromantic, and asexual. They/them pronouns, and prefers men. They were schooled on gender identities young, as their parents wanted them to be aware of all social issues, due to their importance. Aurin learned a lot about government, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. So they weren't very phased when they realized their identity. Aurin told their father about their gender identity and he schooled them on how to act in front of transphobic people and those who don't understand, how to be respectful and patient to matter what. Basically, the way Aurin went about presenting their identity was of much more importance than their choice.

Aurin was a bit surprised at how willing their parents were to let Notch live there, but isn't complaining.

Aurin gets amazing grades, never anything below a B, often full marks. Due to Aurin constantly being fed information, they're a bit like a waking google. Aurin likes art class the most and is in art club at their school. They're pretty neutral about other classes, but dislikes gym. Sports are something they didn't really learn about very much, or play.

Notch and Aurin have, as said in Notch's post, been friends for years. They're very close. Aurin fell in love first, but took forever to figure it out. They only realized when Notch confessed. Aurin had a moment of disbelief and panic. They were never taught what to do in a confession. In a moment of uncertainty, they agreed. And now, they don't regret the decision at all. Aurin is very close to Notch, and has learned how to be more laid back, talkative, and friendly due to her. Now, they've been in a loving relationship for almost 3 years :3

[atoriv-art]

I’m deeply in love with your artstyle! What do you headcanon for the Naruto characters appearances and how did you come to that?

thank you!! assuming you mean facial features + body types and the like, it's honestly a very "vibes"-based approach AKSDMKM i wrote down a feeew of my thoughts in [ this post ] (which i doodled as i was still not done watching naruto LMAO) but it's mostly about like.. picking aspects of the character that jump out to me and thinking about how to incorporate that in my interpretation of them, a lot of the time it's their eyes (for example i Adore itachi's stupid prettyboy eyelashes so i knew i wanted to draw those) but it could be just about anything; some examples of my beloved Guys:

with itachi i wanted a 'ghostly' kind of look to him because he is very aloof and distant, i also like having him be Long and Bony for a lack of a better word for the same reason?

with sasuke i wanted a very sweet and earnest "trying to look tough but failing because he's a little guy" vibe, mostly because those are the thoughts that were going thru my brain in any given sasuke scene in our naruto watch

for kakashi i needed his prettyboy charms coupled with his depressed everything

etc! it's hard to convey how/why something comes off a certain way, and that's mostly because imo any given appearance can be used to convey any sort of idea depending on execution! it's not Just "round = friendly and triangle = angry" yk you gotta like. flavor it for the lack of a better word

i'll put the rest under a read more so it's not too long ^^

for more general examples here's my kabuto (yeah i'm a kabuto liker. woe.), konan and nagato

kabuto (esp. in shippuden) has sharper features and i also wanted to go with a face type i'm not AS used to drawing for funsies, i also think the Angles contrast well with his (...stupid...) glasses.

kabuto is an adult but he's still very young esp when we first meet him so when drawing his younger self i'd like to put emphasis on that (especially because he presents himself as friendly), thus the slightly rounder features. by contrast in shippuden he's Going Through Some Things so the spikes in his hair are emphasized and he looks a bit more mature

konan for me sticks out as like, "bold"? not aggressive but very intense if that makes any sense, she's a very serious person and you can tell from the moment you see her, nagato ofc has the rinnegan so his eyes have to be the main feature of his face, and similar to itachi he has a thinner body type... what i wanted with him was similarly a very serious person with a lot of edge to his gaze due to his special dojutsu. and finally on a more subjective level i wanted them to look like they match/belong together because i'm very normal about them ♥

i also enjoy conveying character through how hair is maintained, so for nagato he lets his hair grow kind of however it wants to, konan is more meticulous about hers (tho i forgot to draw her bun in that LOL), and kabuto (given when his design transitions to the shorter hair) i very much picture cutting his in a moment of crisis (pictured below. <3)

there's also always like.. the Fullness of the hair if it makes sense, i enjoy drawing 'fluffier' stereotypical anime hairstyles a lot but i also really like having people like itachi with finer hair and such, i also think varying that between characters gives each a more unique charm :)

one should also note that a lot of the times the physical features are only half the impression, the other half is how they carry themselves and body language conscious And subconscious!

i think in general studying from life will never lead you wrong (even if your style isn't 'realistic', like, mine certainly has anime leanings), and being mindful of what kind of choice/feature you give someone and what you think that implies about them is always important :) the characters i draw are all characters i like so i try to let whatever makes me fond about them have an influence ^^

it's a constant learning process imo i personally find that even if i like how i draw faces Now i often find them wonky like, 6 months later? but i take that less to mean that i drew them Bad and more to mean i've improved lol

[justplainwhump]

Season's Greetings

After last week's poll (thank you so much to everyone who participated!), here's the Christmas special for 238/training!Angel.

This is dedicated to and inspired by @angst-after-dark, Thane Barlow is their character.

As to be expected, it is pretty much leaning into smut. Enjoy!

[Making Angel]

Content/warnings: BBU, facility whump, institutional whump, nsfwhump, recorded whump, dubcon use of toys, male whumpers with female whumpee, whumper pov.

Walking through the hallways of facility 002 before Christmas was special, somehow. Even without any decoration among the sterile white, there was a festive mood to be felt, just from the way the handlers smiled when they greeted each other, or the spring to their steps.

The trainees wouldn't get any gifts for Christmas.

But the employees, they did.

As head handler, Jared Grimm had introduced various employee benefits; one of them a very popular Christmas tombola. Not everyone could get the main prize - taking home a pet over the holidays - especially not given the often more delicate nature of facility 002's acquisitions, but there were several more prizes: a full cleaning of the home before the relatives arrived, catering for Christmas dinner, a full styling and hairdo, all declared part of the facility's Domestics' training, all doing wonders for the workplace climate.

And there was of course, another choice group to receive Christmas gifts. Clients. Pretty much every case they handled in facility 002 was personal, meaningful for the prospective owners, and insanely price, too.

Personally tailored Season's Greetings were the least the facility could do.

Jared looked down at the instructions on his tablet. Alex had prepared a little script for each of the greetings. 238's prospective was to get a video. Technically, her primary handlers was meant to speak the opening words, but Alan Nguyen hadn't as much glanced at the notes, just lifted the Santa hat with two fingers and handed it back to Jared. "I did my professional due. Humiliating the girl. I will not humiliate myself for that douche and be his clown in a Santa hat. You do that alright."

Jared rolled his eyes. Arrogant douche himself. But Jared couldn't afford to annoy him - plus, he was the best handler they had, and there could be worse than spending some quality time with one of his trainees.

He pulled the hat over his head and nodded at the cameraman, waiting for his prompt to start speaking. "Good day, Mr Barlow! I'm Jared Grimm, WRU head handler, and it's my honor to send you Christmas greetings in the name of the entire company! We have a little something prepared for you behind this door, in honor of holiday season! Let's have a look!"

Jared got how it could feel little degrading indeed, playing the cheerful entertainer, but he was a WRU handler - he'd gone through worse for a lot less.

The door opened at a swipe of his card with a beep and a click, and cameraman panned to the door, filming through the crack where the dim flicker of christmas lights filled the room.

Angel, Alex had noted. Client seems to like angel analogies for this product (quote: "Make her be my Angel, and make her love it").

And they had taken this literally today.

Jared stared for a second, giving the cameraman time to slowly, carefully catch every detail of 238's flawless presentation.

She was wearing sheer white lingerie, that covered nothing yet emphasised everything. Her golden hair was curled into soft locks and crowned with a glittering halo, and small feathery wings strapped to her back over a short golden cape. Golden glitter was applied to her body as well, shimmering on her collarbone and chest.

She smiled at Jared, flirtatious and confident, curving her body in just the right ways for the camera to catch her.

She didn't kneel, though, to his slight dismay. It made sense for the order, of course. A luxury pet. For a demanding client.

Jared was a stranger to her - and she wouldn't kneel for just anyone.

"Well, good day, 002238," Jared said. There wasn't a script for her. Trainees didn't need to be told to act. Their entire being was a performance, and he expected her to excel at it. "You're special, aren't you? A very precious, very special pet for a very special owner." He reached out to clip a golden leash to the soft golden leather collar around her neck. (Prospective: "She will look better in a leash.")

"Of course I am," she whispered, and Jared was struck by the perfect counterpoints of the almost confident smile tugging at her lip and her gaze devoutly cast down. "I'm special for you, and I will be perfect for my owner."

Jared felt the pinpricks of an urge to discipline her, make her perfect for himself. It was part of her configuration of course, just like the part about not kneeling. A slight air of arrogance, but always submissive to her owner - and only him. Showing off her master's luxury.

Nguyen had outdone himself.

"You will be," Jared assured her, lifting her chin towards him. Glitter was smeared over her cheeks, too, sparkling between her freckles. "You're a beautiful product. Why don't you smile at the camera, tell your owner yourself? Season's greetings."

A soft blush blossomed on her cheeks underneath the gold, perfectly crafted, and still so natural. "He's... is he watching?"

"He is," Jared said.

Shivering, she sank to her knees. "Happy holidays, Sir," she whispered into the camera. "I can't wait to be yours."

"Why don't you show him just how much?"

"How?" She looked up at him, her dark eyes seeming even deeper among all the glitter.

"Get... Get on that table, 238." Jared didn't even try to hide the hoarse roughness tinting his voice. The product worked. It was always something else, if you hadn't trained them yourself. Even after more than two decades on the job, feeling that power over the entirety of another human was thrilling.

She got to her feet, with a grace that would seem natural to any outsider but perfectly matched that of any other WRU product, and swung herself on the edge of the table, legs dangling, upper body leaning backwards, presenting her cute breasts once more.

Jared's own trainees, back in the day, would've all been trained to be on their back already, presenting a whole different view.

This one was still keeping eye contact. Not with Jared, though. With the camera. "I hope I fullfil everything you desire." Her voice was tinted with arousal, and Jared couldn't even tell if it was fake or real. It didn't matter. Her hand ran over her body, playing with the straps tied around her, fingers idly circling her nipples.

The cameraman shifted his weight nervously, pressed his thighs together, and Jared smirked. She worked just as she should.

"Here," he mumbled, as he stepped in with the finishing decor - golden clamps, adorned with tiny bells that jingled when he fixed them to her nipples. The noise was lovely, but even more so was her sharp little gasp.

"238 isn't trained for pain," Jared said to the camera. "But she promised us, she'll take it for you."

"Anything," 238 said. "I love you, Sir. I love to be whatever you want me to be. I'm ready."

They hadn't told her to say that. Or what to do. But as any well trained Romantic should, when told to perform while none of her betters made a move, she did it on her own. She let herself sink onto her back on the padded table - finally - crossed her hands above her head and slowly, almost teasingly, opened her legs. This time, the gasp came from the camera man, staring at the diamond nestled in between her folds.

Jared bit back a chuckle. Yeah. That one was a sight.

"Good girl," he murmured, reaching for the seasonal fastenings he'd brought - a rough rope, entwined with fairy lights - and fixated her ankles to the table before he moved on to bind her hands above her head. "You'll be so good for your owner."

Still standing behind her head, he pulled a vibrator from his pocket, as golden as herself, and presented it to the camera. "Mr Barlow, here's your gift. The card we delivered to you held a small golden controller. Would you push the upper button on it?"

It took a moment, before the vibrator hummed to life in Jared's hand.

The pet shivered at the noise, already conditioned so perfectly, and a soft jingle sounded from the bells on her.

"And now press the other?"

238 back arched, and she let out a surprised cry of pain, the bells rattling.

Jared reached out and ran a caressing finger over her breast. "There's electrodes in the clamps, at your free disposal."

Jared pulled back his hand a second up late, when she seizured again, his hand thrumming with the remainder of a tiny shock. Seemed like the owner's kind of humor. Great then. He'd hopefully enjoy this whole display.

"Be good, 238," Jared whispered to her. "He's watching."

The vibrator was buzzing in his hand, wildly alive, as he slid it into her with practised ease.

She was wet already. If Jared assessed correctly, she'd stay so for a long, long while. Her owner wouldn't make this easy for her.

But then again, that was exactly what they'd made her for.

Jared waved at the camera, now mounted on a tripod. "Merry Christmas, Mr Barlow. We'll leave you to it in private now."

The cameraman swallowed, as he stepped back, wiping his palms on his pants. "You can wait in the observation room," Jared said to him, quietly enough for the camera not to catch their voices. "There's tissues, if you need them."

Jared might tune into the livestream from his office he thought. Or not. After all, he'd definitely be the one to get the privilege of being with 238 after Barlow was done. He preferred being the only one in charge.

He pulled off the Santa hat and ruffled a hand through his hair, ignoring the pet's moans behind him. As he followed the cameraman outside and raised his card to lock the door, the last thing he heard was the pet's sincere whisper.

"I love you, Sir."

[enkephallic]

Queer Sexuality in Limbus Company

My not very coherent mini-thoughts.

Playing Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina, I had an impression that PM often wrote women who would end up entangled in the lives of several people and lead them down a twisted path (Carmen), use their strength to make a name for themselves for perceived good (Kali) or just Absolute Strength for what it is (Garion). In addition to this, the female characters in lead roles of the games would wittingly or unwittingly shift the narrative to bring havoc upon the male protagonist's reason to exist (Angela to Ayin, Angelica to Roland).

This can be seen in Limbus Company - Kromer ruins what was Sinclair's normalcy. Catherine pulls a Carmen. Ryoshu's relentless pursue of artistic anatomical destruction. However, a key difference between Limbus and the previous games is the incorporation of classical literature, and its figures into the narrative. This creates an interesting blend of PM-style characterization and gender/queerness in the source material.

Demian and Moby Dick are good examples of this. Both can be read from a queer lens - Demian can be interpreted in several ways, from a psychological journey of awakening to a story of understanding one's own identity (sexuality and gender is also encompassed in this). Most of the book focuses on Sinclair's internal self and his growth, with periods of both with and without Demian in his life.

The most notable difference is the lack of homoromantic tension present in the book. Book Sinclair is tormented with dreams of Kromer hurting him, until he dreams of being forced beneath Demian and feels 'ecstasy' while suffering gladly under him. His complex feelings towards Demian encompasses more than love, while simultaneously evoking queer themes to many readers. It is difficult to argue the same for Limbus Demian, who certainly leans more heavily into the symbolic mentor role and questionably human.

This could be due to Sinclair's journey being far from complete. The book gets rid of Kromer very early, and it's only the start of his growth as a person. Perhaps we'll see more of Demian and Sinclair's relationship unfold, though right now there isn't much of that happening.

On the other hand, Ishmael and Queequeg leans quite heavily into the book duo's closeness. So much so that Queequeg saving Tashtego in Moby Dick is adapted into an Ishmael-Queequeg interaction. Moby Dick features a close bond between them described with the words 'marriage', and goes on to feature them sharing a safety rope that would bind their fates together if one should fall. These aspects, prime for queer reading, are picked up on and detailed in Canto 5.

What's more, there are many narrative and characterization choices that could have been made to tell their story. In PM fashion, the genders are swapped and both Ishmael and Queequeg are women. All of the female Sinners are genderswapped versions of their counterparts, while the male sinners are as-is (not adapted female to male). The decision to adapt Queequeg into a woman along with Ishmael is a choice that allows the preservation of queer reading - they could have chosen to keep Queequeg male, but did not. Conversely, Kromer was swapped into a woman from her book counterpart. The reason why is unclear, but the gendered 'genderswapping' in PM has a lot of avenue to explore in.

In many ways, Limbus defies gacha traditions including gendered conventions employed in larger games (gendered attire, implied sexualization) which can be attributed to their indie-ness and nonconformity. The most notable one would probably be how they handle romance - many playable gacha characters do not hint at heterosexual relationships, while Heathcliff straight up has the most twisted love affair with Cathy. Some games with female fanbases create strong bonds between male characters, while keeping female characters catered to their male fanbase. The opposite can be seen in Limbus, where straight relations are hinted at the most (or outright established) while male-male friendships aren't very prominent within the Sinners. There's some resentment (Hong Lu and Heathcliff) and improvement (Sinclair and Heathcliff), but not really any One duo that stick out.

[marciabrady]

Sorry if you've already answered something like this before but I'd like your thoughts on cinderella 3? As a huge cinderella fan I can see the appeal it has to the wider audience but idk I've never gelled with it?

No worries! I'm in the same boat as you, for a multitude of reasons. I still remember, when I saw the third movie for the first time, thinking it was okay but then never wanting to watch it again. Something about it didn't ring true, but it just wasn't on my mind much and I never felt compelled to revisit it (as opposed to the original which I rewatched on a daily basis at a certain point of my life). Then, later, as an editor, I returned to it to continue engaging with the Cinderella fandom by giffing things that hadn't been made before. I tried to admire it for a while, because that film brought many people to Cinderella that otherwise didn't like her but...the more I sit with it, the more I realize how much it isn't for me. Now, it isn't that it's bad. That's a subjective thing, obviously, and it has a comparatively higher production value for a film of its kind. However, I think the way the film presents itself as blending with canon is extremely flawed and I think it's led the fandom to a lot of conclusions that I'm downright uncomfortable with. It's fine as its own thing, but I'm growing increasingly uneasy with it being considered a canonical part of the fandom.

Cinderella herself. No adaption of Cinderella ever gets Cinderella right (the live action is the worst offender) but I think, in some ways, it's more glaringly obvious here because it's supposed to be a direct continuation of the one media that did get Cinderella right? No one could ever live up to Ilene Woods' Cinderella, and I know that's an impossible assignment, due in no small part to how natural she was in the role and how it overlapped with certain areas of her personal life. Jennifer Hale is fine enough but her performance doesn't ever feel distinctly Cinderella and seems more suited for the video game performances that she's amassed a ton of critical and commercial success with. While she's given interesting responses regarding her view of Cinderella, I don't think I'd trust her with carrying the mantle (again, she's said intelligent things but she downplays Cinderella by insinuating she was limited in the first movie and how her own portrayal is more of a 'warrior' and how Cinderella is everyone's favorite princess until they grow up and 'rightfully' start to like more action oriented princesses). The film itself doesn't even understand Cinderella and just gives her a Belle and Ariel redesign, along with a soaring Broadway song where they completely change her singing style. It also changes her entire motivation to be fighting for love (a step back and not how she was in the original, I also think it lends credence to criticisms saying she's silly for only falling in love after one dance unfortunately whereas the original, in my opinion, didn't fall into that trap) and there's so many instances where they frustratingly make her slow ("Lift the spell- make him remember!! Bi- ahh!!"). I also think she's relegated to a side character in her own film and Anastasia is treated infinitively better, which is an issue to me. I also hate how they robbed her of her greatest victory. Cinderella producing the slipper and being her own savior might be my favorite scene in film history. Taking that away from her and making her openly stumble in front of Lady Tremaine, someone who just locked her in the attic and abused her her entire life, was...a choice. Just like her almost handling her *glass* slipper to Lady Tremaine, only for it to be broken, was. It just made her look dense and the entire thing came across as un-cohesive with what was previously established. Like, I'm sorry but...

This Cinderella was so raw, so layered, gritty, real. She grew up in an abusive household with no resources, skillfully masterminding her own exit. She understood the nuances of her captor, and always kept one trick up her sleeve. When she descended upon the staircase, she made her way through her stepfamily actively discouraging her- an orphan with no one else in the world- to the visiting nobility. They called her ridiculous, impossible, out of her mind, just a scullery maid from the kitchen- an imaginative child. She made her way past them, knowing that- if the grand duke believed them or left or if any detail of her plan fell through- she'd forever be stuck with these three women that would practically kill her once the door shut. But she persisted, and even when Lady Tremaine thought she was the one with the trick up her sleeve, smashing the glass slipper, Cinderella pulled a reverse uno and produced something no one else thought possible- the slipper's mate. Compare that to...

The third movie where Cinderella has to run down the stairs, escaping from her attic entrapment, and waves around her glass slipper in front of her stepmother, explaining to her in full detail that transpired the night previously at the ball, putting herself in a position that 4 seconds later allowed Lady Tremaine to crash that slipper and gaslight her into forgetting. Like...why??? I have so many issues with the way Cinderella is depicted in the film, but we'll leave it here (not even going to get into why people only like her in this version more because she displays more masculine strength by "fighting" and being physically combative which...again, there's more than one way to be strong and the fact that they tried to make her just like any other modern Princess is disappointing to me).

The Anastasia problem. This is something that only continues to upset me more and more as time goes by. In the original film, it's established that Anastasia actively abused Cinderella for the better part of her life. She taunted her, lead to Cinderella being punished multiple times, and blocked off Cinderella's escape or pursuit of a healthy life so many times. The way she's enabled the cycle of abuse to continue and actively, not only participated it but, spearheaded it on a few occasions, explains to us why she's the antagonist. I think it's dangerous that she appears in such a sympathetic light, especially without ever once offering a substantial apology to Cinderella. All of Anastasia's actions in this film, too, are completely self-motivated and I just think it lead to this trend where a lot of people see Anastasia as the protagonist (because she has the most screentime in this movie) and I just think it's poor form to sympathize with an abuser and, frankly, a dangerous moral to espouse. Like, even in the finale where they show Cinderella trying to reason with Anastasia is so toxic. Someone who's been on the receiving end of an irrational abuser's whims their entire life should never try to reason because "they know a good person is there, deep down." And I've seen a lot of people call them "sisters" and talk about how Anastasia had it worse than Cinderella because she's considered conventionally unattractive...which. I could write essays about this and how it's projection, but physical beauty doesn't go that far in this universe. Walt even had an animator redrew Anastasia's smile to be more attractive because he wanted all the characters to be somewhat sympathetic in favor of realism, as opposed to 'all good' and 'all bad.' Again, in this universe, the Prince sees an endless line of beautiful women in amazing clothing so that isn't what attracts him to Cinderella. However, I do think it's worth noting that Cinderella ceases to exist in her society when she doesn't appear 'eligible' by having markers of wealth. She's symbolically stripped of her dignity and hidden away, all of her opportunities taken from her. You know who never suffers that lived experience? Anastasia and Drizella. They're slovenly, over-privileged, and completely self-motivated and this sudden rewrite that they're poor victims because, in our world, they wouldn't be seen as beautiful and that qualifies them for a more traumatic upbringing than an orphan they helped abuse is ridiculous to me.

The disregard for the original characterizations. There are so many things here that just don't make sense. In the original, the King was hellbent on getting grandchildren and even displays a delightful meta commentary multiple times (when it's touched on how ridiculous it is that the Prince would marry any girl that fits the slipper, since that's been a critic of the original story, the King shrugs off that his son said it in a lovesick stammer and sees this as an opportunity to get those grandchildren "that's his problem; he's given his word, we'll just hold him to it). All of a sudden, this King is telling his son it's ridiculous to marry a girl who wears a size 4 1/2 and that's no reason to choose a bride??? And is showing Anastasia his late wife and trusting the clumsiest person I've ever seen with a delicate seashell? OKAY. Not only that, but just so many things that made the original characters unique are eroded so they can be like every other Renaissance character. Like, Lady Tremaine was such a great villain because of her presence and charisma and her cunning virtue. To omit all of that and how her waving around a magic wand and yell Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo was unnecessary.

Too much mice. I know many feel that way about the first film, but I think they were skillfully intertwined. It was way too much here and there was no place for them.

The art design and color palette is more gaudy and unappealing to me. I could keep going but lol

[archetypal-archivist]

A Kinder World AU- Part 1

Foolish, Vegetta, and Leonarda’s House

masterlist

Vegetta is a wealthy, well-established architect who moved to Quesadilla town upon the adoption of Leonarda, as he wanted to focus on being a parent rather than a person of influence. A few years later, he met Foolish, an up and coming architect with a brilliant sense of style, on a business trip and they fell into a whirlwind romance. Vegetta and Foolish collaborated to build their home on the sea and their sense of style is echoed throughout much of Quesadilla, as it is their blueprints that Fit, the town builder, uses to expand the neighborhood.

1) Leonarda loves photography and sketching, and the scenery in Quesadilla is absolutely beautiful. As a nod to their daughter’s love for the world, Foolish and Vegetta installed look-out stations and telescopes all over their home so Leonarda could get a close-up look at whatever she wishes.

2) There’s a large flat space here, which is a perfect place to play tag and other games. While all the children of Quesadilla love to come together to play, not every home is suitable for it due to either lack of space, safety reasons, or both. Leo’s home is one of the few where the children are outright encouraged to run around and play hide and seek- not that that stops them from playing around in the yards of other homes, given the chance.

3) Vegetta is intensely private about his past, as he likes to think he’s now simply ‘Vegetta, Foolish’s husband and Leonarda’s dad’ rather than ‘Vegetta, person of renown.’ How accurate this is would be a matter of some debate. Regardless, Vegetta tries to keep his work and home life separate and as such, he has an office where he does all of his commission-work and communicates with his employees via email and video messaging. Taking measurements remotely and still churning out blueprints to clients that are practically perfect- all while working off of internet that is unstable on the best of days- brands him as an eccentric, but his quality of work is so excellent that he gets plenty of commissions anyway.

4) Due to the lack of build-up before their engagement and marriage, Vegetta wanted to give Foolish his own space as they settled into their home together, just in case the younger wanted some time away from Vegetta. As such, Foolish has a fully-furnished, elegantly designed portion of the base all to himself. Foolish uses this space as a combo of bedroom, Leonarda appreciation zone, and location to outpour his pent-up love of building. The interior is absolutely covered in pieces of a model city, forever under construction, and Leonarda’s best photographs.

5) Leonarda’s bedroom is in the uppermost room in the tower, and as one might imagine, it’s a bedroom fit for a princess. Overlooking  a large section of the town, many a pleasant evening has been spent with Leonarda sketching the sunset in her window seat, her parents arguing over a bed time story in the background. The one issue Leo has with her bedroom is its position in relation to the roof, as when storms blow through- common in Quesadilla- the sound of the rain on the roof keeps her wide awake. Her fear of storms doesn’t help, nor the distance between her room and those of her parents.

6) The platform leading into Vegetta’s room is where members of the family often come to think- it’s the perfect spot to see the moon and stars from and catch the night wind blowing off the sea. On good nights, the family will pull out a telescope and look at the constellations together, with Vegetta and Foolish sharing their cultures’ takes on the myths about the stars. On bad nights, one or the other will come out here to question their choices and their place in the world. Vegetta tends to worry more about the past and the people he thought he left behind, while Foolish worries over his present and his (supposedly tenuous) place in it. On very bad nights, Leo will climb down from her tower to sit there and cry until somebody comes to comfort her. While this is usually a job for her dads, this isn’t the case 100% of the time- but someone always comes for her, regardless.

7) The tower consists of Leo’s bedroom at the top, as well as a rather cramped bathroom, a storage room for emergency supplies, and a shared living space at the bottom. Vegetta attempts to keep this space nice and tidy but having a ten year old child tends to ruin such efforts rather quickly- Foolish’s own habits don’t help, much to Vegetta’s annoyance. This shared living space also includes a pull-out bed, which was put to use when Spreen, Roier, and Bobby first came to island, before they settled in to live with Fit and Jaiden respectively. These days, the bed is uninhabited except for during sleepovers with other children.

8) Vegetta’s bedroom is settled atop the kitchen, and he rules both with an iron fist. He’s very careful to keep both to his exacting standards and Foolish is only permitted into the former for intimate moments, the latter to eat. Given that Foolish is miserable at cooking, he’s perfectly fine about Vegetta’s rules regarding the kitchen. It’s a place for Sunday morning pancakes and Friday night pizza parties, and watching his husband cook for their daughter and him brings Foolish an odd sense of joy. The bedroom... Foolish understands less, but he tries not to let his insecurity get to him. Whatever Vegetta keeps in there is probably none of his business.

9) Foolish has many pots of succulents and cacti that he brought with him from his home before he moved in with Vegetta. Although he’s an excellent parent to Leonarda, he’s a miserable plant parent, prone to overwatering and moving the plants to places with poor light. Despite this- perhaps out of spite- the cacti flourish under Foolish’s care, much to Vegetta’s annoyance. The potted yellow rose bush he keeps by his office isn’t nearly as happy as his husband’s abused golden ball cacti and aloe vera.

[clevercorvidae]

Hazbin Hotel 1st Season Review

Ok so I've been sitting on this ask I got back when the series started airing for some time now.

And I was struggling with how to answer it because as much as I personally love the show and had a lot of fun with it I understand that it isn't really for everyone.

But now that the series' first season has concluded I feel like it'd just be easier to give a review of all the negatives and positives that I saw in the series for anyone who is wondering if its worth getting into. I'd like to give a fair and honest overview of all the show's quirks as there is a lot of misinformation, bad faith criticism, and blind praise of this show going around. It can be overwhelming with so many strong opinions and I'd like to give people a more balanced and down to earth look at the show for what it is.

I'll start with spoiler free stuff and put all spoilery stuff below a cut in a reblog. Be warned, this is still gonna be very much based on my own opinions and very long, I just hope its less...intense than most reviews.

Overview

For anyone who doesn't know, Hazbin Hotel is a new animated series on Amazon Prime Video created by Vivienne Medrano and A24 Studios. It's basic premise is that every year, sinners in Hell are killed by angels from Heaven in order to keep the population low. This devastates our main character, Charlie Morningstar, the daughter of Lilith and Lucifer and Princess of Hell.

So she decides to start a rehabilitation center called the Hazbin Hotel in hopes to allow sinners to redeem themselves, keeping the population in Hell low whilst allowing people to continue existing, and hopefully putting an end to the exterminations for good and saving her people. She does this with the help of her girlfriend Vaggie, a famous pornstar named Angel Dust who agrees to be her first guest, a very shady demon named Alastor, and more.

The show's pilot episode was first released on youtube in 2019 and has a sister-show called Helluva Boss that takes place in the same universe and began airing episodes on youtube while Hazbin was being shopped around to be picked up by a bigger studio.

I personally do not recommend this show at all to anyone under 18 due to its subject matter and depictions. However, the show is listed as 16+ for all but one episode which is 18+. Make of this what you will.

Now, onto the discussion.

Positive 1: Design

So a lot of people look at this show and are put off by its character designs and general look. But frankly I think it's very well designed and cohesive for what it is. Its designs are complex and gaudy but they're earnest in their presentation. It very much draws from Vivziepop's roots as a youtube animator who got big in the 2010's

All the designs are very out there and edgy and almost sparkle-dog-esque. And I think it's commitment to that style in favor of something that would draw in wider appeal makes the series feel more artistically genuine. Just look at Angel Dust and Alastor's designs for example. They ooze 2010's deviantart and I find it very charming.

I also enjoy the balance and uniqueness of many of the designs, they're so fun to look at. And their level of detail makes them super fun to pick apart. The range of body types could definitely be improved (an unfortunate remnant of that 2010s style I was just praising) but there is still plenty of diversity in silhouette to differentiate the characters at a distance.

I also often see the criticism that there is far too much red used in the designs and frankly this criticism is so unfair. Within the context of the show its pretty obvious that red is just part of the design motif of hell.

I can see the issue ringing true in the pilot that the characters bleed into the backgrounds often because of this design choice but in the official show the background style is a lot more distinct from the characters and they don't really have this issue at all.

Here's a screengrab from the pilot that I find to be a particularly bad offender vs a screengrab from the official show including acvery red character on a very red background that I think highlights the difference a bit.

There's nothing wrong with a show having a very cohesive visual motif to tie all of its characters to one location. The heavenly characters in the show have their own color motif of bright pastels for instance. I think the designs are a highlight of this show and people should stop being so harsh and unfair in their assessment of them. They're so fun! Enjoy them!

Negative 1: Pacing

You've probably heard people mentioning this one and unfortunately I 100% agree with this criticism. The show is INCREDIBLY fast paced and it seriously impacts character development.

Now, I don't think the way people criticize this aspect of the show is very fair. Most people push the blame for it onto the creators and writers when in all actuality they're just doing the best they can with what they were given. 8 episodes is a very short runtime for a show of a this scale.

A story with this much worldbuilding, this many plot threads, and this number of important characters could NEVER be told properly in this amount of time. Even if they'd properly paced it it would've ended up awkwardly truncated with an unsatisfying finale. Frankly I think the writers did a very good job stretching what they had, but unfortunately the issues are still very present and impact the viewing experience.

This show desperately needed filler. They NEEDED low stakes plots and episodes. As is the story is very complete and I'm glad the short runtime didn't create any agregious plot holes but its still...lacking. The first season is meant to take place over six months of time and it really doesn't feel like it.

The lack of episodes means we don't get to see the natural progression of these characters and their relationships. Many characters have seemingly out of nowhere changes of heart. Even the best done plot lines still feel pretty cramped and rushed.

It's very sad and unfortunately is becoming increasingly commonplace for shows to have such short runtimes that they feel like extra long movies rather than feeling like a tv show. Hazbin Hotel feels like a very long musical pace-wise. And if you decide to watch it that way I think you might have a better time honestly. But its still sad to think of what could've been.

Positive 2: Music

Oh my fucking god the songs are so good. None of them are bad in my opinion. I have my favorites and least favorites of course but none of them sound bad or annoying which I can't say for 90% of musicals especially cartoon musicals.

Almost every song feels like its 100% necessary to express what the characters are thinking and feeling. Every single VA has a fantastic singing voice. Apparently one of the main writers of these songs is half of The Living Tombstone which is pretty apparent from the style of the songs. If you like their music you'll be in for such a treat here.

There are 2 songs per episode and I think its safe to say you'll enjoy the crap out of at least one of them. They make up for a lot of the short runtime with them too, being able to fit a whole lot of character growth and interaction into a shorter period. This show is definitely carried by its stellar soundtrack. I think it's its best trait for sure.

If you like musicals, you have something to gain from watching this show, I can guarantee that.

In the spoiler section I'm gonna rank all 16 songs and explain my reasons btw so look forward to that.

Negative 2: Editing

The editing of this show can be...questionable at times. Sometimes there will be very harsh unnecessary cuts and sometimes the camera moves all over the place when it really doesn't need to. It really feels like the editors got the raw animation files and were trying to clock in overtime by making unnecessary and bizarre editing choices all over the place.

It wasn't very jarring to me personally and I feel like most people will get used to it within a single episode but if you're unsure of how to feel about it I'd go watch the song Happy Day in Hell on youtube because it's probably the worst offender in the show and about as bad as the editing will get.

Positive 3: Characters

As sad as I am that the show has so little time to explore the characters they are VERY well established regardless. These characters have a lot of charisma and almost all of them have a completed arc within this season.

I've heard a lot of people claim that Charlie, the main character, doesn't get enough screentime or doesn't feel like a protagonist and I'm sorry but I can't see this as anything but bad faith criticism. Hazbin Hotel is an ensemble show with a very limited episode count, not every episode can have Charlie at the center. But she IS the center of the main plot and she is a very active protagonist with strong relationships to the other members of the ensemble. Her goals are tightly wound in with the central plot and themes and she makes the decisions that drive the story.

She very much fills her protagonist role well and I think this attempt at criticism is just a biproduct of the several years of development where occasionally we'd get bonus content for other characters and Charlie didn't get much. But it's pretty clear that that was cause her character IS the plot and Vivziepop didn't want to spoil the entire show before it even aired.

Beyond that I've seen people claim that all the queer characters are over-sexualized. Which is hilarious because as far as I can find there is only one canon straight character in the main cast and the rest are all queer. There is only one character that has an storyline focused around sex and that's Angel Dust...because he is a sex worker. The other characters occasionally make sex jokes but no other queer characters have sex as a focal point.

Overall, the characters definitely balance each other out in this story and they're a big draw for me. Even minor characters that only appear prominently in one episode are super charismatic and interesting. Hell, my favorite character in this show is one of these minor characters.

One thing I very much enjoy is how none of the characters ever seem to be dumbed down for the sake of the plot. The stakes remain high because all of these problems genuinely feel like there is no easy solution that the characters are just conveniently ignoring. All of the characters' choices feel like theyre in-character which is very impressive given the episode count.

Neutral 1: Dialogue/Jokes

So this is a topic I've seen a lot of people discuss specifically here on tumblr. The characters are very sweary and many of the jokes are very crass and explicit.

Personally I had no issue with this at all the jokes were fine to me and the swearing just felt like Hell's natural dialect to be honest. Plus I swear like a sailor irl so it was barely different to my normal. Very much a non-issue for me.

I could see how it could be off-putting to others though if it's something you're not used to. And I do find it to be a bit much in the sister-show Helluva Boss because it feels a lot less natural. (side-note, if y'all want me to make one of these for Helluva Boss let me know cause I have a LOT to say about that show). So honestly I think this is a matter of personal taste and I'd encourage people to still give the show a whirl if this is your main issue with it as its pretty minor.

Positive 4: World-building

I really enjoy the complex world in this show. A lot of its takes on the lore it's drawing from are actually pretty unique and nuanced, it's obvious the creator did a lot of research. Any lore that is changed was clearly done with the knowledge of its true origins. It really feels like Viv knew the rules well before she broke them with this.

This is one of those worlds where you can't help but imagine yourself in it, especially with it being the afterlife. It's no wonder the fandom is so dense with oc content, its very fun to imagine creative character designs when there's so few limits to what a character can look like.

And the world-building seriously elevates the story so well. This is one of the few times the short episode count actually helps the story I think, because there's still so much to explore and discover here. I like the delayed gratification of getting all the info about how hell and heaven function its nice to chew on theorize about. It's just a very appealing and interesting setting what can I say.

Neutral 2: Handling of Subject Matter

This has got to be one of the most divisive things about this show and I think this is the thing that most comes down to personal opinion.

There are a lot of criticisms against how this show handles incredibly serious subject matter. And frankly, as much as I don't have any issue with its portrayal of these things personally, its incredibly understandable why others take issue with it. I encourage everyone to give the show a fair shot and judge it in its entirety as a lot of these things really need context to be criticized fairly.

However I understand that, even if you agree with the way Hazbin hotel handles these subjects, you may still be incredibly uncomfortable or even triggered by the graphic depictions. So I'm going to take some time and list out every possible trigger that you will encounter in each episode to the best of my ability based on my recollection. Because even though Amazon does give warnings they are too vague for my tastes and I wanna make sure anyone who watches this show on my recommendation is going to be safe (Let me know if I missed anything and I will edit this to include it):

Episode 1: 16+

Blood

Knives

Religious Trauma

Graphic Violence

Mild Gore

Eye Stabbing

Genocide as a topic

Sexual harassment

Drug Use/Alcohol

Beheading

Guns

Christian Imagery

Death

Episode 2: 16+

Mild Body Horror

Drug Use/Alcohol

Guns

Christian Imagery

Episode 3: 16+

Beheading

Blood

Cannibalism

Graphic Violence

Sexual Harassment

Guns

BDSM

Episode 4: 18+

Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault

Rape

Sexual Harassment

Graphic Depictions of Physical Abuse

Graphic Depictions of Routine Sexual Abuse

Alcoholism/Drug Addiction

BDSM

Roofies

Nudity

Graphic Violence

Guns

Emotional Abuse

Exploitatin of Sex Workers as a topic

Building on Fire

Gambling Addiction

Episode 5: 16+

Alcohol/Drug Use

Non-sexual exploitation

Graphic Violence

Guns

Blood

Religious Trauma

Absentee Parent

Christian Imagery

Episode 6: 16+

Religious Trauma

Christian Imagery

Amputation

Eye stabbing

Graphic Violence

Blood

Guns

Knives

Alcoholism/Drug Addiction (+enabling)

Physical Abuse

Exploitation of Sex Workers as a topic

Sexual Harassment

Genocide as a topic

Episode 7: 16+

Guns

Knives

Blood

Cannibalism

Episode 8: 16+

Guns

Blood

Graphic Violence

Genocide

Gore

Death

Animal Death

Christian Imagery

Religious Trauma

Amputation

Knives

Building Collapse

Stabbing

I believe that should be everything.

I highly encourage you to be cautious if you have PTSD or C-PTSD regarding sexual or physical abuse in particular for episode 4. The episode is quite graphic and realistic in its depiction. As someone who hasn't been through sexual abuse I cannot speak to the accuracy of its portrayal apart from the fact that it is very clearly not created to be tantalizing or glorifying.

I've been told many different opinions on how this episode portrays sexual abuse and whether it is accurate or respectful and it seems like the answer varies greatly person to person from being extremely comforting and relatable to being offensive and feeling gratuitous. In my opinion I think this means the show did a decent job and had good intentions, but it also means that this show and this episode in particular just aren't for everyone. Make of this what you will and stay safe.

Positive 5: Themes

The themes in this show are baked into its core. It manages to get its message across without feeling too clunky and the focus of the story never strays from that purpose.

Redemption is often a mixed bag in shows especially in cartoons. But I think Vivziepop and the rest of her crew do a good job showing the effort it takes to change and grow as a person in the short time they have.

I think the dedication to themes is a huge part of how genuine the story feels. It's earnest in its message and that gives the plot a soul.

If you want to watch a story about broken people lifting each other up this is the one.

Neutral 3: Vivziepop

So a lot of you have perhaps heard some not-so-great stuff about this show's creator.

From what I've gathered in my research almost all of the serious claims made about her are either proven to be false or big ol nothing-burgers. However, there might be legitimacy to some of her employees and coworkers' complaints about her company, Spindlehorse, which aren't great. And I personally dislike how she conducts herself on social media as the spokesperson for her creation.

In short, she doesn't seem to have much tact.

I think its a little ridiculous and overdramatic to avoid the show over it personally but if this just strikes a particular nerve with you there is always the option to pirate ig. It's fully up to you. Just make sure you do your research and don't go around shaming fans of the show or spreading misinformation about a very real person.

Conclusion

I'd personally give the show an 8/10. Its a fun time and clearly made with a lot of passion. I'd recommend it to everyone who's interested. Now I'lll start working on the spoiler bit of the review.

Let me know what y'all think! If anyone reading this has questions I'm happy to answer as well.