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#how many times did i cry making this
heavensorhells · 2 years
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but i want you to move on, so i'm already gone. 𝗹𝗼𝗹𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀 + 𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝘁. @devilscherubs
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lauraneedstochill · 3 months
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The Oh Hellos, “Like the Dawn” / poem by @troy-woof / Nikita Gill, “A Lesson On Love”/ post by @thepoisonroom / by tumblr user @flintcoded (x) / Leah Horlick, “For Your Own Good” / post by @patch-and-stringer
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woozapooza · 8 months
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favorite character per show 26/∞: The Sopranos → Jennifer Melfi (Lorraine Bracco)
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lostmf · 6 months
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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Why did you ..
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deoidesign · 4 months
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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clegfly · 1 month
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Getting REAL sick and tired of how omori TikTok views sunny.
Like, they view any scene of him being emotionally vulnerable, affectionate, or even just making an expression outside of just being completely neutral as “mischaracterised”. He’s not some cool, stoic, unwavering badass, he is a traumatised teenager. Don’t cry whenever he dares to give his friend a hug or (god forbid) be SAD about something??? Isn’t like. Part of the point of his development about him allowing himself to break down the repressive walls he built when he shut himself in? And being able to rely on his real friends instead of imaginary versions? And isn’t the game like. Meant to SHOW that he still cares about them despite isolating himself?
It’s really stupid to get mad at a character like that showing emotion or affection personally, especially since he’s not used to expressing it properly after so long. But that’s just me
#this isn’t even solely about the manga though it inspired me to make this post#any piece of official art in which sunny dares to show an emotion is shunned as ooc and I’m sick of it#he only appears ‘neutral’ throughout the GAME’s narrative because he HAS NO FACE SPRITES#because he’s the protagonist and has no actual dialogue#therefore he only makes a few expressions the entire game#obviously manga sunny is a good bit more expressive than canon sunny but#it’s REALLY not as bad as TikTok is making it out to be#I’m so TIRED of this character being viewed as nothing but a rock that ONLY has personality before and the game’s events#not allows to emote at all because ‘he didn’t do that in the game!!’#because he is restricted to ONE face sprite the entire time outside of the battles#omori is a DIFFERENT case and I can admit that manga omori is a good bit more expressive than he should be but#he’s still VERY stoic especially compared to sunny#which is what is should be#sunny should be quite closed off but in contrast to omori so much more human#that’s like. a massive part of their dynamic I feel#anyway this is such a long rant but god im so angry#I’ve seen one too many people cry ‘mischaracterised’ at a teenager expressing feelings#PLEASE stop it#also this is not to say you can’t critique manga sunny’s portrayal#because there are a few issues I believe#which are honestly really hard to dance around considering the factors I mentioned before#about having one expression most of the game and two lines of dialogue the entire time#and honestly? I think they did a pretty okay job!#he’s still a silent protagonist but seeing him emote so often helps us see into his mind and know how he’s thinking much easier#both portrayals have their pros and cons and ultimately I prefer the game’s portrayal#but that’s not to say this version of sunny is terrible and ooc like people have been saying#and that’s definitely not to say that any moment of emotional vulnerability he has is terrible and inaccurate#because that’s. just terrible and untrue#omori#omori sunny
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elliotyaps · 2 months
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every time I hear Gasolina I get intense flashbacks
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agentark · 1 year
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whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend
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weidli · 1 month
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trying to write anything in new orleans era is such a mess because like. What the hell do you base lestat characterization on. of course what we see of louis in that era isn't entirely accurate but you can reverse-engineer it a little because we have present day louis in front of us and we see at least BITS of things he tried to forget about and we know how he feels about it all or at the very least how he's trying to convince daniel he feels. for claudia we have the diaries where we can be pretty sure that those are her words. yeah she wrote at least some of them knowing that it might be read by the people she at the time thought of as parents and another solid chunk of it she was a child for and yet another chunk is missing but at least it Exists. what do we have for lestat. the s1 dubai retelling? performance by a guy who was in love with him for years and then spent a couple more decades trying to hate him and pretend he didn't matter (and who has also had his head messed with, extent of which is unknown). s2 dubai retelling? partially told by louis (see previous statement), partially by armand (ANOTHER guy who used to be in love with him and now has complicated feelings and oh yeah REALLY STRONG MOTIVATIONS to not tell the truth about him). the trial's version of new orleans happenings, as well as the version of lestat we see there, in script and retelling? see above for the reliability of the retelling and multiply the strength of armand's motivation to 1. lie about it 2. muddy louis' memory of it by x1000000. the script we never fully see, and it's A Script, it's not lestat's words (plus if they're gonna pull anything like tvl he was uuuuhhhhh having a bit of a time there). and that leaves what to extrapolate from? the only time in two seasons we Actually see lestat (i.e. end of 2x08) where he is in a Very different place emotionally than he was in 1910-1940?? tvl the book, when we don't know what exactly they're going to keep for the show and what they're not (how much lying was armand doing when he told daniel about the eighteenth century i Need to Know!!!)?? okay we DO have some bits from Louis that i feel safe trusting in completely, the ones where he revised something he said previously in dubai - i.e. how louis reacted to lestat's death, how claudia was turned, what happened in the coffin room in the 1x05 big fight. but besides that what is there!! A business card, gilt-edged. A song, but only as an inferior re-recording. A letter that he MUST have written before February 1940 but we have no idea exactly when - if he already knew louis and claudia might be the death of him and wanted to fuck them up a little with it in the event that they succeeded, or if it was written solely out of genuine love? we don't know SHIT!!!
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crossbackpoke-check · 10 days
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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gloamvonhrym · 5 months
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radiant dawn doesn’t give you much to work with in terms of dialogue but executes some remarkably efficient storytelling in the dialogue it DOES have. I love that interaction between rafiel and tibarn not only because it’s very funny but because it establishes in like 3 lines that 1) the two of them know each other, or knew each other, ostensibly well enough that rafiel should be able to surmise that tibarn is bluffing (he’s also a heron, like, he knows tibarn is bluffing); and 2) tibarn is uniquely vulnerable to Distressed Heron. he’s used to intimidating people, he does it a lot, he nearly kills sothe and doesn’t budge for micaiah, but rafiel’s reaction is the only thing that makes it backfire. it’s the only time tibarn fully cracks onscreen. he stammers and pleads and panics. it’s such a remarkable critical failure that I feel it’s a totally legitimate read that rafiel does in fact know tibarn wouldn’t hurt him, and additionally, is fully aware that folding to the ground and bursting into huge ghibli tears will make tibarn back off. no rafiel isn’t a scheming personality but he’s also not been crying his way through every battle up to this point. I think at the very least it’s easy to allow yourself that emotional reaction in the midst of a high-stakes battle when an old friend tries to threaten you and you know him well enough to know that ur white boi tears will nip that shit in the bud :^)
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seilon · 2 months
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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evansbby · 5 months
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I cannot believe the wicked games Drabble was 5000 words long like basically a full ass fic and the low amount of notes it got…
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wuxian-vs-wangji · 3 months
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Yeah... I remember seeing the architectural design majors at my uni having this breakdown each semester...
#love in the air#lita#rain#scriptwriting was the only course within my major famous for making people openly cry#because the professor would eviscerate you with her feedback#not to be mean; but she would look at the feedback you'd already been given by your classmates over and over throughout the course#and if you still hadn't fixed issues she'd really stab into them and rip you apart#she liked me though- i followed the syllabus due dates and no one else did#meaning day 1 i already had a treatment ready by the first class#and even though she told me the syllabus schedule didn't need to be followed; i chose to follow it#because it kept me a week ahead or so#So when I finished each 200+ page draft of my script I was finishing it a week early#which let me focus on other exams in other classes and manage my workload more easily#the only time scriptwriting made me cry was when i spent 6 hours typing draft 6 of a 214 page feature and my computer crashed#erased the whole thing#i'd been typing up the script based on hand notes i'd written on my previous draft so it was easy to recreate#but redoing it took 8 hours since my hands were so tired#but that wasn't the classes fault; that was my fault#i did really well in the class; you just can't take feedback personally and a lot of writers really struggle with that#i've lost so many friends because they claim to be writers who take feedback seriously#and then it turns out they're little bitches about it and throw tantrums after begging me to give them feedback#so now I will not give a friend feedback on anything they write#for the record- the way i was trained is not to be cruel or mean#you literally just go through it like 'here is what I had issues with as a viewer and here are some ideas on how to easily fix that'#always offer a solution#and for every complaint you have to give a complementt#so i'm not out there like gordon ramsey ripping into people; it's very gentle and kind#except when i gave M her round 6 feedback on her script and she STILL insisted Mt Everest was 3 billion years old in her story#AT EVERY STAGE OF THIS SCRIPT I REMINDED YOU IT IS AROUND 30 MILLION YEARS OLD GET IT THROUGH YOUR-
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bunnihearted · 5 months
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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pikonv5 · 4 months
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my job wants me gone so bad , like 1 month in and they have already brought out their no effort in communication and gaslighting full force, and telling me much of the work I am doing is wrong and accusing me of not doing the basic things like stocking, that I try so hard and am sure to keep up with being the only person working at a time? like if they are going to do this at least do it while i am on the clock..
#this morning i kept apologizing for doing what i was told and trained to do and the lady sent so many messages of 'well I don't remember#telling you' over n over like ??? so then i had to apologize for her not remembering which like no one does that#to that extent unless they are trying to affect you negatively and or try to get you to say something they can use against you#like ive been abused enough i know how it goes 🙃 ??#and then they are like 'why would you be stupid and put in so much effort when you work the busiest shifts of the week?'#when like literally ive got a good eye for design and decent with sales so like i will touch a merchandise make it more presentable#and suddenly the next people coming in will be drawn to the item to buy like im their little magical willy wonka like they said they wanted#on their original job listing#and ofc there is no mention of how the floor is no longer just perpetual dirt mud to slather around bc i actually cleaned the floor#instead of doing there method of just mopping by putting a mop back in dirty mop water.. like you can visibly see the floor crusted when it#is like that and i wont even start on the dust#nor any mention to how the backroom hasnt remained cluttered from extra my extra tidying or severely cluttered by all the work i did#the last two days#just how i have consistently done a bad job not even keeping up with the basics apparently this entire time 😐#anyways 3 hours of my day Wasted and unpaid from how much they made me cry like there is so much more bot mentioned i hate itf
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