#how many people can say Peter called them good lookin | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deniigi · 4 years ago

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hi I have something for y’all called a disaster.

I wrote an Inimitable!Spiderman/Modern Star Wars AU because no one can stop me, not even myself. it is like 47 pages long. I am handing it tenderly to y’all.

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Title: impossible scenario

Summary: Peter runs into some drunk assholes arguing, calling each other Han and Luke. He lets it roll off him until he can’t anymore and eventually finds himself for the first time on the other side of someone more chaotic than himself.

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There was an argument happening under a fire escape. Peter knew about it because a concerned dude wearing a fuckin’ Yankees cap had flagged him down with waving arms and told him that someone needed saving, Spiderman. Some tall asshole was kidnapping a young blond dude, the guy and his too-cool-for-him girlfriend explained. They’d heard the two scuffling.

Peter maybe stared for a beat too long at them because the gal pointed two blocks behind him and said, “That way. I think the blond guy might be drugged. He’s slurrin’ something strong.”

Peter liked her shoes. They looked like Miles’s, but blue.

“Spidey?”

Miles told Peter all the time that he wasn’t cool enough to wear Jordans. MJ and Johnny had agreed. Such sad times.

“Spidey.”

“I got it,” Peter sighed.

The gal tsked.

“Man, you’re too young to be this jaded,” she said.

Peter sighed.

“You’re the third person to say that this week,” he said. “You think I should go back to therapy?”

There was a pause.

“You know that answer, dude,” cool-gal said. “Go save the twink.”

Twink. Got it. Thank you, citizen.

“There are websites for that shit, Spidey.”

Bye now.

“Apps, even.”

Bye, bye.

“BetterHelp or Headspace or somethin’—”

“Two blocks, you said?” Peter asked.

Two blocks away, there was indeed a man with dark hair trying to lift a violently intoxicated twink up onto the first steps of a fire escape. Peter examined his options. There were many ways to ruin a potential kidnapper’s day. His favorite involved coke and mentos, although he’d received feedback that that was a waste of perfectly good food. Down the list was also the option to walk over and scream bloody murder so that the kidnapper shat themselves and dropped their target.

That was good, but Peter was tired and the thought of mustering up the energy to scream at a noticeable volume made his thighs turn to Jell-o.

That left snark and violence.

Today, he would not choose violence. Only for today.

He strode out of his dark temporary residence between two dumpsters directly towards the tall dude and his mark. The mark was a messy one. Bless his heart, he was unwittingly making himself the most noncompliant victim to have ever victim-ed. Every time the tall guy got him almost vertical, he gave up his corporeal form to become drunk slime and ooze back to the ground with various moaning sound effects.

It would have been funny if not for the kidnapping context.

The fact that Peter had been standing there under the beams of two separate side-building security lights and neither of those two had noticed yet was also objectively funny—or would have been, if Peter had the capacity for processing humor at the moment.

Alas. This was what he got for telling Tony that he’d evolved beyond the need for sleep. He got caffeine-pilled. And there would be no true rest until that shit wore off, exhausted as Peter’s body yearned to be.

“Kid, work with me here,” the tall guy said.

“I can’t, I’ll die,” the shorter one moaned.

“Luke.”

“I’ve done my time—thirty years in AZKA—”

“Keep your voice down, oh my god.”

Peter was just standing here, fellas.

“Luke.”

“Why’s it always me? Why’s it always gotta be me? The hell did I do to piss off the whole galax-galaxy? HA. My bad, my bad. The whole universe?”

God, what a mood.

The tall guy dropped his grip on the smaller one and loomed over his puddle of ooze with poison in his gaze.

“People are going to die, Luke,” he said.

“So what? They’re always dyin’. Everywhere I go, people’re dyin’ and when it’s not them dyin’, you know who is?”

“Kid.”

“ME.”

“So you’re just gonna wallow there, feelin’ sorry for yourself?” the tall dude snapped.

“Sure am,” the puddle of ooze hummed.

This was not a kidnapping. This was a come-to-Jesus in the back alley of a bar. Peter was not needed here. He turned around on his heel and stopped when he heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Is that?” someone whispered.

“Don’t mind me, pal, just your friendly neighborhood—” he started.

“Look what you did,” Tall and Handsome hissed at Ooze-Man. “Someone went and called Spiderman on us.”

Peter lifted a brow as Ooze-man ripped its chest up from the asphalt and composed itself back into a human shape with fluffy blonde hair and huge wide eyes.

“Omigod, it’s Spiderman,” the guy said. “Wait, no. Gimme a hand. No, not that one, fuck off, nevermind, I don’t need you.”

He drew himself up to standing, only leaning slightly on his buddy there and gave Peter as lopsided smile.

“Hi, there,” he said with a twang that Peter couldn’t place. “Were you lookin’ for someone, handsome?”

Ah, they had reached the time of night when all the drunks needed to tell Peter things he already knew about his ass. He loved this time.

Not to mention that this dude looked eerily like Johnny. Scarily like Johnny. So much like Johnny that Peter almost wanted to take a picture of him to send to Sue so that she could print up some lost and found posters.

“Just lookin’ at you, babe,” he said. “This guy botherin’ you?”

The tall guy blanched and then grabbed at his face in horror. Peter swallowed his laugh.

“He sure is, hon. You got time to rescue me?” Blondie crooned.

“Luke, please. Please.”

“Because I’m in real distress,” ‘Luke’ said with a pout mighty enough to fell Thor.

“You sure seem like it,” Peter said. “C’mere. I’ll walk you home. Leave that tool, he ain’t worth your breath.”

He held out an elbow like proper gentleman and was pleased at the hand that Luke laid over his heart in response.

Peter could imagine Johnny’s face in six different expression of jealous horror at a selfie taken with this look-alike. Each was beautiful in its own special way. As payment for being referred to counseling by the public, he at least deserved to receive at least two of those faces.

“You mean that?” Luke asked him.

“He doesn’t,” his tall companion said.

“I sure do, where do you live? I’ll walk you,” Peter said.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna cry, he’s gonna escort me,” Luke said, all choked up and fanning his eyes lightly.

This tall friend grabbed him before he could escape, though, and pulled him back behind his own body.

“Listen, Spidey, this is a misunderstanding,” he drawled. “I know this idiot—he is technically my idiot— and I’m the one escorting his ass home. Thanks, though. You’re a real menace. Beat it.”

MMMMMMM.

And here Peter had been planning on being jaded and miserable this fine night. How could he now when this dude was ticking every box that made him feel alive?

“What’s your name, dollface?” Peter asked across the short distance.

“None of your business,” Tall Guy answered abruptly.

“Luke,” Luke said around him. “Are you gonna save me?”

“In just a minute,” Peter said, striding forward with a hard roll in his shoulder and deep drop in his knees.

It was amazing how Tall Guy wanted to take some steps back all of the sudden. Peter couldn’t help but let a smirk widen his face as he advanced.

“Okay, hang on now,” Tall Guy said with both palms out in front of him. “You don’t know what this is about, Spidey. You don’t want to get involved with this, trust me. He’s just bein’ dramatic. No need to get testy.”

“You sure do a lot of talkin’ for your friend there,” Peter noted through his grin.

“Yeah, Han,” Luke said.

Ha.

Han. Han and Luke. Ned was gonna be enraptured when Peter told him about this later.

“Luke. Back me up.”

“Why should I?”

“Because,” ‘Han’ finally snapped. “I’m not doin’ this because I want you to suffer, alright? I don’t want nothin’ to do with it either, okay? No one does. But it’s this or—”

“Or everyone else,” Luke finished for him in a strangely toneless voice.

Han sighed.

“It’s always everyone else,” Luke said.

“Not here.”

“Why’s it always everyone el—No, no, here. Why not? We’ve got fucking Spiderman in our midst, how much more surreal can this moment get? No. You listen to me, Han—”

“I’ve been listening to you all damn evening and you know what I’m hearing?”

“—I lost my life for this. I lost my home, my aunt, my uncle, my hand—”

“I’m hearing you making this about you.”

“—everything I ever knew, and I tried to make it right, didn’t I? I made the school. I gathered the kids—”

“And it’s not just about you this time, kid. It’s not about you, it’s not about me, or Leia, or Chewie or—”

“—I lost my kid and the love of my life, and I finally get a second chance at finding them and giving them the goddamn happy ending they deserve, and the next thing I know—”

“Luke, you’re the only one,” Han said.

“I WAS NEVER. THE ONLY. ONE, HAN,” Luke roared out of absolutely nowhere, sober as a saint. “I was never the only one. EVER. Ahsoka. Go find her. She’s everything that I’m not and more. She’s the real—”

“Luke.”

“Stop saying that name. I HATE that name. I would do anything for twenty goddamn seconds where I didn’t have to be him.”

“You don’t mean that,” Han said quietly. His shoulders had rounded out and become black and heavy under the weight of their shadow. Luke’s eyes, however, looked like topaz.

“I mean it,” Luke said.

Oho.

So shit had gotten real tense, real fast, so Peter about to make a decision that was gonna make Shelley so proud of him she would weep when he finally slunk back in through her office door.

He was leaving. He was turning around and taking a wee jog. Maybe turning a corner, having a little jump over a fence, up a wall, to a place as far away from this one as superhumanly possible.

Bye, bye.

“This galaxy needs you, Luke.”

Peter stopped five paces away.

“They need you,” Han repeated. “And I need you.”

Peter slowly looked back to see that Luke’s face had twisted sharply out of the light, towards the alley wall.

“I’m sorry that we met again like this,” Han said quietly. “I’m sorry it’s always you. You don’t deserve this. No one deserves this.”

“Shut up,” Luke said.

“But if you don’t do something, then it won’t be just me and you and all these random others sliding back into that cesspit we all barely crawled out of.”

“Stop.”

“You’ll never find him if things go back the way they were.”

“You—you don’t know that. There—maybe—”

“Luke. Listen to me. Please.”

“Maybe there’s a chance—”

“Luke,” Han said reaching out and putting a hand on Luke’s shoulder and clenching it hard enough that Peter should see the bunched fabric, “Do you want Din to live through this shitshow a second time? Hasn’t he suffered enough?”

Peter shivered. The pressure at the base of his neck was building. The Spidey Sense wanted to hiss in his ears like white noise. It pinned him where he was, staring over his shoulder at those two solid shapes, one digging a hand into the flesh of the other.

His stomach turned.

Luke said something that Peter couldn’t hear. Han pulled him toward his own body by the grip he had on his shoulder. At first, Luke seemed to stagger, like he was walking on black ice. He stopped a single step away from Han’s body, still with his face angled severely away. Han said something to him.

There was a long pause, then Luke seemed to fall forward. Han caught him and crushed his head into his shoulder, lowering his own until it was almost touching Luke’s ear. They clung to each other.

Luke was crying.

The Spidey Sense started to crackle and pop in Peter’s ears.

“I gotchu, kid,” Han said in a rasp. “I gotchu. We’re gonna get through it.”

Peter blinked once and finally unlocked the muscles in his neck. He wasn’t meant to witness this. He held out a wrist and fired a line.

It was weird.

It was just weird.

Something wasn’t right. And Peter couldn’t make his stomach not writhe about it.

Luke.

Han.

An offhand mention of like, characters. Character names. They were character names. Leia, Chewie.

Peter had heard of people who lived their lives honestly believing that they had been other people—fake people—in past lives, but like, damn man. Why would you put yourself in a position like that were you were moved to actual tears for some elaborate street-drama?

Maybe it had been a joke? That was the only thing he could think it could be. Maybe the universe had gazed upon his hubris at work and gone ‘ah yes, I know what this young man needs: emotional confusion at midnight on a Thursday. That’ll fix him.’

If that was the case, then yeah. Good job, universe. Good job, larpers. Y’all are equally sick.

But if not—and Peter no longer lived in a world where he could rule out any possibilities—then he had just witnessed—Dude, he’d just witnessed—

He couldn’t even think it. It was beyond him. It was so far beyond him that like he might have a real stroke taking the thought seriously.

There was only one person who could hold that kind of information unscathed.

Only one.

PP: Ned. I need you to listen to me and tell me I’m not crazy.

NL: no promises but go on

PP: I think? I just saw? Luke Skywalker? And Han Solo? In an alley behind Kitty’s?????

NL: fascinating

JS: Say more

PP: who let you in here?

JS: you?

PP: SECURITY

NL: Peter say more

PP: I can’t there’s a nerd in here and it’s vibrating at the wrong decibel. SECURITY???

MJ: yeah?

PP: I’m trying to have a breakdown. Can you remove Matchstick please?

MJ: what kind of breakdown

JS: he thinks he met Luke Skywalker

PP: Security has failed me. God?

NL: Peter can you name three things you can see.

PP: I am not manic. I am in touch with reality. I’m just having anxiety because I just fucking saw two people calling each other Luke and Han fighting behind Kitty’s. Like real fighting.

JS: nicknames?

PP: I—

PP: oh my god nicknames

PP: Johnny I’m so sorry I ever doubted you. never leave my side

JS: 😊

MJ: wow that’s cringe. Imagine naming yourself after SW characters

NL: does kitty do a cosplay night now????

PP: idk it was wild. People thought that ‘Han’ was trying to kidnap ‘Luke’ but when I got over there, Luke started flirting with me and then shit got real and they started arguing over like him hating his name and not wanting to do something and losing everything or some shit

NL: that’s a lot. I’m sure it was nothing, though, peter.

PP: yeah it was. My SS has been going nuts ever since I left. You think they bugged me?

JS: yes I will come search your body imminently

MJ: my job storm, back off

JS: after MJ has finished prelim checks, I will then search your body for you out of the kindness of my heart ❤

NL: that’s weird, the SS doesn’t usually freak out about cosplayers

PP: ikr?

NL: lol imagine if they were serious

MJ: don’t say that

JS: well now we have to lean in. thanks ned

JS: they were definitely real. God they were so real. You hear that Fate? You got us. They’re definitely real.

PP: BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE?

MJ: cue breakdown

NL: that would be so fucking funny. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo trying to save the world from the hellscape of nyc. The rats alone would thwart them.

PP: ned I’m freaking out

NL: oh you mean you’re actually freaking out?

PP: deeply

NL: oh shit sorry. I’ll be over, have you slept yet?

PP: NO

MJ: on it

JS: can I join?

NL: no johnny

MJ: no johnny

PP: 😭

JS: one day our love will build a bridge, peter. In the meantime I am stroking your ear comfortingly from midtown

Need and MJ’s weight pinning him to a mattress brought sleep but not necessarily comfort. They both thought that this was a sick joke someone had played on him that was now destroying his psyche. They thought that the couple pointing him back towards the cosplayers had been in on the joke.

Peter would have agreed with them if it wasn’t for the Spidey Sense. Everything else lined up perfectly.

Ned sighed in the morning and told Peter to go talk to Wade.

Wade’s hallucinations were, by far, more auditory than visual, but he stayed quiet while Peter talked his ear off over the phone in his locked office. He waited until Peter had run out of words to describe the feeling of impending doom and then huffed a bit of a laugh into the receiver.

“Them Star Wars people are unreal, Pete, you know this,” he said. “Look at Ned.”

Ned was perfect.

“Take off those rosy shades, hon. Now, look again.”

Ned had perhaps memorized the entire scripts of the first three movie and 90% of the spaceship names and the jedi lineages.

“Uh-huh. Keep going.”

Peter didn’t want to.

“We all gotta do shit we don’t want do.”

Fine.

Ned’s goal in life was to go to his wedding in a stormtrooper suit.

“Keep going.”

Every Lego project they’d built together since 13 years-old had been a Star Wars-related one. When Ned had decided to move out of his parents’ place, he’d shed actual tears over MJ and Peter mutually suggesting that he sell some of his memorabilia.

“Will this delightful buffet before our very eyes, what is the likelihood of your two pals being drunk larpers in too deep to quit?” Wade asked.

73%.

“Uh-huh.”

“Thanks, Wade.”

“No problem. Although, now I gotta see this. You said they were behind Kitty’s? You think I can get a stormtrooper costume in 8 hours?”

“They’re not still gonna be there, Wade,” Peter huffed. “It’s 10 am.”

“You ain’t know that. What if Luke Skywalker’s a useless drunk, huh? You ever think of that?”

No.

“What’d he look like?”

Peter groaned.

“He looked like Luke Skywalker,” he said. “Blond hair, blue eyes—sort of like a chipmunk that forgot its stripes.”

“I’m onto you, Skywalker.”

Peter hung up to Wade’s cackle. He slouched low and tapped his pen against his desk. Then against his fingers.

He stared at the edge of his keyboard.

“What’s the weirdest thing you could imagine, Pete?” he asked himself.

PP: sam

SC: yeah?

PP: do you like star wars?

SC: nah

PP: you’re perfect

PP: do you believe in past lives?

SC: like spiritually or culturally? I know I was a cult-kid for a min there but before that we were Buddhists and like, past lives are part of the package

PP: that’s cool. What do you think of people being reborn as themselves again like, 500000000 years later? From a galaxy far far away?

SC: I don’t think about those people

PP: okay well, hypothetically. Let’s say that you were going to imagine someone who embodied that whole spirit. Who would it be?

SC: Buddha

PP: not buddha

SC: is this a riddle? Is it Jesus?

PP: THOR. Thank you this has been helpful ily bye

Mr. Stark asked him over a cup of viciously black coffee why Peter was seeking out the demigod of his present nightmares.

That usually meant that he and Thor had disagreed on basic physics principles again. Peter took that also to mean that the demigod was still in the building. Possibly loose.

“He’s with Banner,” Mr. Stark said scathingly.

“Thanks, you’re amazing,” Peter said as he sailed out of the room.

Thor was sitting on Dr. Banner’s lab table, despite Dr. Banner telling him to get off no fewer than two times in the five minutes that Peter was in there, schmoozing and making pleasantries. He warmed Thor up to the home-run hit by asking him all about past lives and present lives and what the soul was on Asgard. Thor was only too happy to explain a load of nonsense that made Banner roll his eyes and poke at his muscles with a thermometer.

“So, hypothetically speaking,” Peter drawled in a very casual lean, “With the infinite galaxies and universes, etcetera, there could be one where Star Wars people exist. And so hypothetically, they could get reborn into a universe like ours.”

Thor blinked at him.

“You remember the laser swords?” Dr. Banner deadpanned.

Thor lit up.

“I suppose it’s possible,” he told Peter indulgently. “But if that was the case then it would be a long tragedy, no?”

…yes…

Say more, Thor-man.

“Well,” Thor said with a big, happy smile, “The series of events that unfolded in that story seemed to me to be one of triumph and tragedy. With one would come the other—that’s how these stories work, yes?”

…yes.

“So if Master Luke Skywalker and his companions arrived into our space here, then they must experience the same in order to be themselves,” Thor said, bobbing his head in pity. “Perhaps what would look like a new start for such people would result only in terror and disappointment until the same conclusion was reached.”

Peter felt his own grin twitch.

“So it’s not impossible?” he asked.

Both Thor and Banner looked at him quizzically at the same time.

“Peter?” Dr. Banner asked. “Is this coming from somewhere?”

Peter’s grin twitched so violently, it turned into a grimace that even superstrength would not let him maintain.

“Can I borrow one of you?” he asked.

Wade was not happy to be met outside of Kitty’s in the middle of the day, especially because his stormtrooper outfit, in his words, ‘did no justice for the size of his balls.’

Peter was ignoring that. He dragged Thor past Wade’s righteous anger until he was standing on the place where the other two had stood the night before. Thor stood there gamely.

“There,” Peter said. “Any like, energy signatures?”

Thor glanced around and shrugged.

Wade scowled at him and hounded him off the spot so that he could stand there instead.

“I feel nothing,” he said, devoid of emotion.

“Same,” Thor said.

Damnit.

“Perhaps you are—”

The Spidey Sense smashed through all of Peter’s sense and screamed at him to get to the street.

Get to the street. Get to the street. Get to the—

There.

Across the way. Chipmunk, no stripes.

That was the guy from the day before. He was on the opposite sidewalk smashed in with the crowd, dragging a hand through his hair and laden with a backpack and two separate totes. He was wearing a strange set of clothes—a mash of casual and formal—and seemed to be in a hurry, the type of hurry that involved pushing past folks at a half-jog and not stopping at streetlights.

“Got ‘im,” Peter hissed.

“No shit?” Wade asked over his shoulder.

Thor made a sound of interest.

“I see him, too,” he said. “What incredible energy, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Wh—

Peter whirled on him.

“Don’t you fucking say that,” he warned. “I’m gonna go distract. You two, on my six.”

Peter broke four traffic laws on his way around the block. He swung himself around a corner and fucked up the collar on his labcoat and counted to four before stepping out right into ‘Luke’s path.

They collided. Luke stumbled back and dropped one of his totes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Peter blustered. “Are you okay?”

Luke swore and dropped down without answering, collecting the odd ends of metal that had clattered out from his bag and now rolled loose over the pavement. Peter stooped to join, gathering rings and pipes of all sorts of sizes in his hands. Oncoming folks gave them a wide berth.

It took a moment for Luke to realize what Peter was doing, but when he did, his shoulders went stiff as a board.

“DON’T TOUCH THOSE,” he snapped, just as Peter made to pick up a little plastic bag with a wad of tissue inside it.

Peter froze.

“Oh. Sorry,” he said.

This time, Luke finally met his eye.

“Oh, Jesus. No. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Luke blustered, “Thank you. I’ll—I’ve got them. Thank you, though. It’s okay.”

He took the metal out of Peter’s hands and stuffed them back into his bag. He snatched the plastic bag before Peter could touch it and put that on top.

“Excuse me,” he said as he stood. “Thanks again.”

And just like that, he hurried off past Peter down the pavement.

Peter watched him go.

“Catch?” Wade asked softly from the corner.

“Negative,” Peter said, reaching into his sleeve and holding up the thin aluminum tube he’d hidden up there by the edge of his shirt-sleeve.

It was shiny and longer than he’d expect for any plumbing project. The inside appeared to be coated with some sort of heavy, non-reactive material, and half of the outside had grooved bands carved into it.

“Someone’s building something,” he said.

“Mid-century sink?” Wade asked, taking the tube.

“Nope,” Peter said.

NL: That is a lightsaber hilt

NL: where did you get that? It’s like mega accurate. Was it etsy?

PP: I stole it

NL: give it back

PP: I can’t I stole it from Luke Skywalker.

NL: Peter.

NL: we talked about this.

PP: He’s Luke Skywalker. I swear on the grave of my mother

MJ: this is a problem. This is now an intervention.

PP: I will prove it. If he’s Luke Skywalker, then he will do ANYTHING to get this thing back.

NL: and if not?

PP: then I will wait two days before politely tracking down his home address and then I will return it via wall crawling

JS: UM

JS: SORRY

JS: PETER CAN YOU CALL ME?

PP: no

NL: no

MJ: no

JS: are

JS: are you sure??? Because there’s a guy in Reed’s lab right now talking to him and Sue, asking SUPER politely for access to—I shit you not—the crystals we picked up from that space trip the other day???

NL: …

PP: …

MJ: …

PP: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MJ: fake

NL: no way

PP: WHAT’S HIS NAME, JOHNNY BOY????

JS: I can’t

PP: nope you gotta

JS: I can’t I’m gonna cry I didn’t ask for this

MJ: out with it

NL: please say it’s obi-wan

JS: HHHHHHHHHHH

JS: nope

JS: just a guy named Ben 🙃

PP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

PP: I told you motherfuckers

JS: right. So like. Awkward. But you uh, know that hilt thing you have?

PP: …is Obi-Wan Kenobi about to beat my ass, Johnny?

There was something about putting the hilt into the palm of someone more famous than Captain America that made Peter’s knees weak.

It did not help that Luke Skywalker had flirted with him the other night.

It did not help that Luke Skywalker didn’t recognize him as Spiderman.

Nothing helped, really, especially when those big topaz eyes lifted and Peter could see that their rims were red and raw.

“Thanks,” Luke Skywalker—the embodiment of hope itself—said in a soft, defeated rasp.

Every alarm in Peter’s head said to save him. Save him from what? How? Who knew.

Ned and MJ seemed to feel the same way, if the pressure on each of his arms was anything to go by.

“Well, that’s all cleared up, then. Thank you so much for your help; it is deeply appreciated,” a stupidly pleasant gentleman with a perfectly combed beard and lovingly coifed light hair said to the room at large.

Obi-Wan Kenobi—pardon, Ben Kennedi—was far more handsome than any movie could ever dream to make him. What they’d done to him in the 1970s, Peter saw now, was a fucking crime. He watched as this beautiful human being set a warm hand on Luke Skywalker’s—pardon, Luke Naberry’s—shoulder and used it to steer him towards the Baxter Building’s front entrance.

He watched as the two of them, like true Master and Padawan, stepped out onto the landing and opted for the stairs. For one fleeting, unbelievable second, Luke looked back over his shoulder at all of them before taking the next step after his Master.

He was right the other night.

He wasn’t the only jedi. Not anymore.

“So that just happened,” Sue acknowledged for everyone after the door had clicked closed and the sound of footsteps had faded off to nothing.

“I’m going to cry,” Reed announced.

“This is single-handedly the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Ned said.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi walked into our kitchen,” Reed told Sue like she hadn’t been there right next to him.

“The empire is trying to establish itself under our very feet,” Sue said back a little viciously.

“The real empire,” Reed whimpered.

Wait.

No, go back.

“For real?” Peter asked.

Sue and Reed looked back at the rest of them and then exchanged a look.

Peter was sad now. Depressed and laid out on his side staring back at Valeria’s huge eyes on the floor while Ned and MJ and Johnny asked Reed and Sue two hundred clarifying questions.

Peter didn’t need the specifics. He was thinking back on the conversation that he’d witnessed between Luke and Han Solo—Han Solo who was tall with dark hair and dark eyes and an accent straight out of New Jersey. Solo who had probably been charged with forcing Luke to face the facts in front of all of them because he was the one who Luke trusted most.

But it had shattered them—both of them.

The New Hope had given up everything. He was tired. His heart was torn. He was jaded just like Peter had been that same night. He’d been avoiding the tightrope that Peter had already started crossing, though, probably looking for every possible way to not have to set the first foot on that wobbly line.

He’d walked it before.

Valeria reached out with a chubby, round hand and touched the side of Peter’s face.

“Spiderman,” she said with terrifying understanding, “Someone needs help.”

He wriggled in close enough to bonk heads with her.

“Baby Storm,” he whispered, “I think you’re right.”

MJ thought that Peter needed to leave things alone. She pointed out that he had plenty of problems without getting involved in universe-saving. She gestured to Johnny and volunteered him for the job.

Johnny refused on account of needing to be the prettiest blond in any room. He claimed that if he wasn’t, he had to fight for dominance.

Ned was on the other end of the spectrum. He had 43 reasons why Peter should get involved with things, and 40 of them ended up in the same place which was ‘it would be cool.’

One of Ned’s better reasons, however, involved pointing out that Peter had already stolen half of a lightsaber. He was good and involved now, whether he wanted to be or not. And that was enough for Peter to decide to go on a hunt to give a formal apology.

He recruited Ned to help him locate Luke Skywalker.

That didn’t work.

They tried Luke Naberry.

That didn’t work either.

They ended up going through every possible iteration of every Star Wars name they knew and then filtered out the people who’d been named by exuberant parents and then filtered out anyone who didn’t live in New York and they ended up with fat lot of still nothing.

It was like Luke Skywalker didn’t truly exist in this world.

Until MJ found his Instagram by typing in ‘guys who look weirdly like Luke Skywalker.’

She held the phone aloft in triumph and they all gathered round to gape in awe at her intelligence and research skills.

Luke’s Instagram was nothing but pictures of coffee.

He had one selfie and this selfie was enough to have gotten him onto a BuzzFeed article. In it he was holding—you guessed it—coffee. Iced coffee. One in each hand.

He was shaking them, and one had been labeled with his name—hence the public connection made.

“Someone needs to tell him that coffee is not a food group,” Johnny observed.

“Maybe he works nights,” MJ said.

Ned lifted an eyebrow.

“Maybe this is his job,” he said.

There was a pause.

Some snooping revealed that Luke was an honest to god food website editor. He was a cameraman.

Repeat. Luke Skywalker, cameraman. He filmed all the food hosts for his company’s Youtube channel. He edited videos. He more or less blended into the background of everything, while having his finger prints on damn near everything.

This was a man after Peter’s own soul. They were kindred spirits in hidden identities, content creation, and suffering under a boulder of responsibility too great to cope with.

He had to find him now.

And after they had his Instagram it wasn’t too hard. He seemed to hang out in various parts of the Bronx and Peter just so happened to know some folks out that way.

Louis told Peter that he would never speak to him again if he found, befriended, and then didn’t share Luke Skywalker (the man, the real man, I’m not fucking with you, Louis). But he also recognized a place on Luke’s instagram that he seemed to be working his way through the menu of. He sent along an address and told Peter not to forget his promises.

Angel asked why he was looking for Johnny Storm in the Bronx.

Peter left Louis to rattle sense into her.

He took a walk on Saturday morning. A long walk. A long train ride, then a walk, then a half hour of squinting, and then, lo and behold, he found a blond guy banging his head into the center of an out door metal table across from a woman with heavy braids trailing down the sides of her neck. She was much older than him and drummed white-painted fingernails across her cheek as she thought.

Peter hid and called Ned and MJ for an ID. He peeked the phone’s camera out enough for them to see the other two and then snatched it back.

Ned was about to flip a table.

“That’s clearly Ahsoka Tano,” he said. “She—the braids, dude. Dead give-away. And she put ribbons in them, like what even is discretion?”

Peter didn’t know that person. He continued not to know this person, even as Ned dragged him through a trainwreck of Star Wars lore.

“So she’s a friend,” he said.

“She’s like a jedi, but not like a jedi, she was a jedi, but then she said ‘fuck the order’ and—”

Great. Peter was approaching.

Ned held his face in his hands. MJ told Peter to report back on his findings. Peter ended the call and inched closer, weaving through the crowd and slipping into the coffee joint to see what nonsense they were selling.

It was nonsense with lots of syrup. He could never say no to syrup.

He watched the two outside while waiting for his order. Luke gesticulated to his friend and she spoke, giving reasonable gestures back. He stopped her and dug out his phone and that little plastic baggy full of fluffy material. He answered his phone. His friend took the little bag and held it up to the light.

She frowned at it.

Luke pushed away from the table and walked away to take his call. Peter’s order was called. He grabbed it and swerved out towards the patio.

“Hello,” he said at the edge of Luke and his friend’s table. “Is this seat taken?”

Luke’s friend stared at him.

“It is,” she said. “Move along, hon, you’re ten years too young.”

Wow.

“For your friend?” Peter tried. “Could I leave my number?”

He had this lady’s attention now. She was looking him up and down, appraising. Peter tried not to flex. He stayed cool. Matt-levels of cool. He smiled winningly.

“Alright, why not?” she said, digging through her bag for a receipt and a pen. Peter beamed as he leaned down to scrawl his number down on the back. He got halfway through before he heard a step stop nearby.

“Look alive, kid,” Luke’s friend said. “Hey, Luke, this guy was just—”

“You again?” Luke said.

Peter lifted his head and brows.

“Hi,” he said. “I just wanted to apologize.”

There was a long silence.

Luke’s friend looked between them and then gave Luke a long, judgmental stare.

“You don’t have to,” Luke said. “Thanks, though. How did you find me here?”

Mmm. Beginner’s luck.

“Here,” Peter said, offering his number on the receipt. “If you ever need someone to talk to who gets it.”

Luke’s friend bit her lip and looked away in secondhand embarrassment. Peter ignored her for now.

“Thanks,” Luke said. “You don’t and you won’t. But you’re very pretty.”

Nice.

“You’d be surprised,” Peter told him. “Gimme a text. I’ll leave y’all alone now. Enjoy your coffee.”

He left. But not before hearing, “but that ass, Luke.”

Ned told him that there was no way that Luke was ever going to text him and he was disappointed in Peter’s hostage-taking skills.

But he was proved wrong two hours later and, for his crimes, had to admit Peter’s brilliance publicly.

LS: hi sorry. This is Luke. This morning when you stopped by our table, did you happen to see a little plastic bag on it?

Why yes. The one in Peter’s pocket right now? That bag?

PP: hi!! I did, actually. You guys aren’t very subtle 😏

LS: it’s not coke

PP: I’m not judging

LS: no, it’s not coke, I swear. It’s something INFINITELY more important. Did you happen to see if it had fallen on the ground?

PP: ah, no, sorry. I didn’t see it

PP: OH NO

PP: oh my god I’m so sorry, I think I took it with me when I accidentally took your friend’s pen.

LS: I

LS: what’s your name?

PP: Peter ❤

LS: Peter, you have a fucking problem

LS: I’m starting to think that you want something from me. And listen, you’re a handsome guy, but I’m not available and my type isn’t kleptomaniac. What do you want for it?

PP: well you got me

PP: to talk

LS: about what?

PP: mostly about why you look like you’re a wet phonebook in a bad gutter

LS: a phonebook???? What era are you even from????

PP: I could say the same to you, sir.

LS: I

LS: wh

LS: alright touche. The point is that I’m not going to talk to you. I just need that bag back. It’s a life and death situation.

PP: what are they? They aren’t coke crystals.

LS: how would you know?

PP: what are you, a cop?

LS: NO. This is going nowhere. What. Do. You. Want?

PP: To. Talk.

LS: I’m not going to talk to you.

PP: then why did you ask me to rescue you?

He held his breath.

LS: I didn’t

PP: you did

LS: I didn’t ask you for shit. This is it. What’s your last name.

PP: Man 😊

LS: Man what

PP: That’s my last name.

LS: Peter Man.

PP: oop, nope, sorry. That’s someone else.

LS: …so I’m calling the police, now. That’s what we’re saying?

PP: depends. Do you still need to be rescued?

Come on, Skywalker. Come on, remember.

LS: I never asked you to rescue me.

PP: You did. Think back.

LS: I didn’t

LS: I just made a joke to

LS: WHAT AFAJSDFA DTTH E FUCK

Peter cackled and let himself fall onto his back.

PP: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ❤

LS: YOU’RE

PP: Just your friendly neighborhood guy ❤

LS: YOU

LS: you

PP: me

LS: THAT’s how the storms knew you

PP: yep 💋

LS: I don’t even know what to say

PP: it’s okay, you don’t have to say shit. The main thing I wanted you to know was that I hear you. And if you need it, I’ve got you.

LS: You’re literally trying to rescue me??

PP: it’s my job

LS: IT ISN’T. How have you never been arrested? how did you find me? Did you track my phone? Is it some kind of spider thing???

PP: yes

LS: I am legally obligated to kill you with the force now

PP: harder daddy

LS: ADaaSDASFSDFSdd

LS: oh my god Han is going to lose his gourd

LS: I’m sorry I just I can’t believe you of all people stole my damn hilt

PP: I’ve got……………………..sticky fingers

LS: go die

LS: no I didn’t mean that sorry that’s a thing with me and my sister. I mean, okay. You got me. Hero of NYC.

Peter’s cheeks were starting to hurt.

PP: I’ll bring them back to you.

LS: Please do, Ben’s about to have a stroke.

PP: you mean obi-wan?

LS: he’s convinced his cat ate them. There’s a staring contest happening. No one has blinked in two minutes and I don’t want to be here for the internal investigation.

PP: where do you live?

Luke sent an address. Peter held his phone high and walked it into the living room where Ned was bitchily composing an Instagram post. He and MJ looked up at the same time.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Peter said. “Luke Skywalker and Co. live in a cemetery.”

It wasn’t a cemetery. It was a funeral home, but close enough.

Luke was waiting outside on the stoop in a cardigan about four sizes too big for him. It was there probably to protect him from the equally large ragdoll cat in his arms.

Peter smiled. Luke stared at him and then shook his head and went through the screen door. Ned gave Peter a biting look.

“Made friends, I see,” he said.

“We’re doin’ great,” Peter told him, hopping up the stairs. “Look at us, totally—”

“Insidious.”

Peter stopped and turned nervously to see through the screen door where Obi-Wan Kenobi had seized both of the cat’s cheeks. Luke continued to hold it with maximum doneness levels.

“Where have you been?” Obi-Wan asked the cat seriously.

“We have guests,” Luke said. “Take your beast.”

Obi-Wan snatched the cat out of Luke’s arms with contempt all over his face.

“You are a villain of the highest order,” he told it.

“Ben. Guests. Please evacuate. I am hosting negotiations,” Luke said.

“We should have named you ‘Sith.’”

“Ben.”

Peter was not going to laugh at Obi-Wan Kenobi. That was too surreal.

“Come in,” Luke said, returning to hold open the screen. “I hope you’re not allergic. There are two of them.”

T-two?

“The other one is Junior.”

Peter stepped over the threshold and found himself in a room that looked like a human birdhouse. It was full of surfaces that were almost completely empty, as though an enrichment object had once lived there but had been removed as punishment. Luke waved Ned and MJ in and accepted their apologies on Peter’s behalf.

Peter ignored them to lock eyes with a creature more stunning than any he had ever encountered. It sat on the kitchen counter by a single clear jar labelled ‘Not Spice.’ It blinked grumpy green eyes.

“Oh, it’s these people again?”

They all looked behind them to see Obi-Wan peering around a doorframe with the first cat draped over his shoulders.

“Kleptomaniac,” Luke said, pointing at Peter. Peter waved.

“Huh,” Obi-Wan said simply. “I will distract Ahsoka.”

He vanished. Luke grimaced after him.

“Let’s go talk in the back,” he said. “There are no bodies, I promise.”

The funeral home had a little deck and a yard small even for this far out in Queens. It was crammed full of plants that appeared to be in a competition to bloom. Luke invited them to sit and then left to make coffee.

Coffee, yes, how had Peter forgotten.

He peeked over the side of the deck down where there was a large stone set in the center of the garden.

“A seeing stone,” Ned whispered to him.

“Oh, how did you know?”

They all jumped.

Peter swore that Obi-Wan hadn’t opened that sliding door. How had—what—

Ned was at a loss for words in the face of one of his greatest heroes.

“I—uh. M-movie? I mean, sorry. It was in The Mandalorian, second season, with the—”

“Yet more television,” Obi-Wan said derisively.

They all stared.

“Can you teleport?” MJ asked him.

“I thought you were bothering Ahsoka?” Luke asked, from inside. He squeezed past the man and his cat with three glass mugs in hand. He set them down on the little square table off to the side of the desk railing.

“I was, but then I got curious,” Obi-Wan said. “And I lost Junior.”

Luke stared at him.

“I’m going to lock you in the basement,” he said.

“Try, try, and try again,” Obi-Wan told him, petting his beloved cat’s head.

“Do you even know who Spiderman is, old man?”

“More television.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Peter had to keep a conscious watch on his jaw, lest it fall open in the face of the most handsome, clueless man on the planet. He watched as Obi-Wan, disgusted with all this ‘television’ nonsense skulked back off into the guts of the home. Luke shut the door behind him.

“So,” he said, holding out his hand. “We’re talking. Fork ‘em.”

Ah.

Fair was fair.

Peter produced the plastic bag from his pocket and handed it over. There was a shout somewhere inside followed by someone going ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

“Ben keeps our home ghost free. He terrifies all the wannabee haunters,” Luke said simply. “Thank you for these. I imagine it’s somewhat of a shock to learn that it’s all real.”

It was, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing Peter had encountered by far.

“How long have you lived in New York?” he asked conversationally.

Luke gave him a weird brow.

He seemed smaller than before in that enormous cardigan. Certainly smaller than the movies made him seem. His face was a little thinner too, and his lips seemed to slope into an almost permanent pout.

“About twenty years,” he said. “We were born in California, but Anakin moved us here when we were eight.”

Anakin? Like, Darth Vader, Anakin?

“’Luke, I am your father’—yeah, that guy,” Luke said with a scoff. “Except, you know, he ain’t dead. And he’s the only one who can make Ben remember that tea isn’t a meal, so we keep him around for that and to scream back at Leia.”

Peter was already completely lost to the dynamics of this household. It wasn’t like the books and movies—Ned’s twitching for his phone to take notes was proof enough of that.

“That’s awkward,” MJ said. “So did y’all do like, collective counselling for the past life shit?”

Luke deflated and moaned into his hands.

“It’s not past life shit if your damn name is the same,” he said. “It’s complicated.”

It sounded like it.

Imagine growing up with your apparently-Star War-obsessed father and uncle who’d built a home and a business (presumably) around that shit, only to find out later that they’d done it because it was literally their religion.

What a trip.

“When did you find out?” Peter asked gently.

“Oh, you know. Last week,” Luke said with a bitter grin. “Quit my fulltime job. Dumped my ex. Broke my lease and now here I am. Once again. Back at this place.”

“Do you want a hug?” Ned asked into the awkward silence.

“You’re very sweet,” Luke said. “If I touch another human, I will start crying and never stop.”

Yikes.

Barely holdin’ on by a thread there, buddy? How’s the hyperawareness going?

“Why does it matter, is my question. For you, I mean,” Luke said with a suspicious squint. “You fought a goblin guy, didn’t you? With a hover board?”

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, yeah.

Yeah, Peter sure had done that.

“And like, the bird dude? Didn’t you down a plane?”

Perhaps.

But Luke had blown up the Deathstar, no?

“These things are not equivalent,” Luke said flatly. “I joined a rebel alliance. There were loads of us.”

Mmm. Perhaps so.

“God, how old are you even? You look 22.”

Peter gawked.

“I’m 27,” he said.

Luke did a double-take.

“That’s a lie,” he accused. “Tell the truth or be compelled.”

“By the Force?” Ned asked hopefully.

Luke blinked at him. He pointed at the glass sliding door which revealed Obi-Wan holding Junior the cat above his head by the kitchen sink.

“The Force,” he said.

Ned’s face fell.

“Do we not have the Force, here?” he asked.

Luke flinched.

“Listen,” he said abruptly, “We’re workin’ on it. This isn’t our original galaxy. The rules are all different. The only one who’s managed to make even a spark happen is Obi-Wan so far, but as soon as we find Master Yoda, it’s over. We’ll already have won.”

“You lost Yoda,” MJ mused.

Luke stammered and caught himself.

“We lost a lot of people,” he snapped. “It happens when you shift galaxies. Anyways, that’s what the stone is for.”

MJ glanced back at the stone and then leaned her forearms onto the small table.

“So, let me get this straight,” she said. “You jedi folks all popped up over here by some cosmic accident. You don’t have the Force. Most of you don’t even remember who you are. You lost your most experienced Master, and you’re going to fight the Sith?”

Peter stirred his coffee nervously.

Luke’s eye twitched.

“We don’t need the others,” he said. “We only need the Force. To fight the Sith. Yes.”

MJ frowned deep and held her chin with both hands.

“So you need the thing you for sure don’t have the most,” she said.

Luke opened his mouth, but not before the window by the door snapped open and Obi-Wan leaned out to say, “We always have the Force.”

Luke covered his face in despair.

“I was listening from the kitchen window,” Obi-Wan told him lovingly.

“GO FIND CODY ALREADY,” Luke roared at him.

“I did, he’s right here,” Obi-Wan said soothingly, stroking his angry cat.

“The other Cody.”

“Oh, I am trying, don’t you worry.”

“Ben, so help me God—”

“Force.”

“SO HELP ME FORCE—”

Star Wars had really left out the part about Luke’s explosive temper. Peter winced, but Ned laughed and the sound seemed to have a calming effect on Jedi-on-Jedi crime about to take place in the kitchen. Obi-Wan appeared pleased with this development and emboldened. He wove past Luke out onto the desk and came over, cat and all, to point down to the seeing stone in the middle of the garden.

“Others who feel the Force’s energy will be drawn to it,” he told Ned fondly. “It’s how we got Luke back home.”

“It’s not,” Luke said. “You called me.”

“And so others will also come,” Obi-Wan said with confidence. “The most important thing is that we believe in the Force. And from that, we will find guidance and power and—”

“He means Yoda,” Luke translated. “He’s been putting frogs on it as an offering, even though me, Ahsoka, and Anakin told him that this is a human’s world. A human’s world, Ben. Even if he did eat them, he’s not eating them raw.”

“Don’t be discouraged by Luke’s attitude, he is very stressed,” Obi-Wan told Ned and Ned only affectionately. “I told him not to be, you see there are four of us here already, and the Chosen One is among us.”

“Anakin told you to stop calling him that,” Luke moaned, massaging his temples.

“He was the first to be aware of our present situation,” Obi-Wan said.

“He took a hallucinogen and had a paranoid breakdown,” Luke pleaded. “Ben, please. Go inside. Think of your blood pressure.”

“Perhaps, but it was a useful breakdown, was it not?”

“I am so sorry for him, he’s getting senile,” Luke said to the rest of them.

“Your energy is different,” Obi-Wan informed Peter out of absolutely nowhere. “Are you also Force-sensitive? Were you drawn to the stone?”

Er.

No.

Sorry?

“He’s Spiderman,” Luke said, gesturing pointedly. “Remember Spiderman?”

Obi-Wan did not. Peter suspected, actually, that Obi-Wan still used phonebooks, if he used phones at all, that was.

Luke took a deep breath and let it out.

“Okay, let me just lay it out,” he said. “We’re doing the best we can with what we have. You don’t have to get involved with this. We appreciate your help, but what would help us even more is if you stay out of it, alright?”

Yeah, okay. Sure. Peter could respect that.

“Amazing. And don’t tell other people.”

Understood.

“Unless they’re Force-sensitive,” Obi-Wan said. “In which case, ask them how they feel about rocks.”

Luke just stared at him coldly this time.

“You didn’t used to be like this,” he said dangerously.

“No, I used to be stressed,” Obi-Wan told him. “But you and Ani are doing that for me, so I have resolved to be a free spirit. Nice to meet all of you. Have more coffee. I don’t like this one; I will have it out of the house by sundown.”

He left, and possibly for good this time. No one knew what to say in his absence.

“So,” Peter tried, desperate for something to break up the tension. “You said a few days ago that you were looking for someone?”

Luke finally stopped making growling faces towards the sliding door. He lit up like a bulb.

“I am, actually,” he said.

Luke was looking for a very particular person named ‘Din.’ He described him as ‘six feet tall and covered in armor.’ He asked if they knew of such a person.

Peter had to shove a hand against his mouth in case he made an unwanted connection between this description and Obi-Wan behavior.

“Haven’t,” MJ said. “Who is he?”

“My husband,” Luke said.

Ned choked.

Peter choked.

MJ tilted her head.

“You have a husband?” she asked. “I would have remembered a husband in that series.”

Luke leaned his chin on his palm and gazed sideways over the city. He seemed to sigh.

“I don’t know why he isn’t connected to me in the media created here,” he said. “It’s probably because he’s always been very shy.”

Oh, aw. Peter loved that. The contrast between them was heart-warming.

“We had a son together,” Luke said. “His child. He brought him to me. One of my students, at first.”

Hang on a minute here.

Peter exchanged a glance with Ned. Ned tried very hard to pick a way to approach this sensitively. He landed on asking, “What was his name again?”

“Din,” Luke said. “Din Djarin.”

Ned cringed.

“He was a Mandalorian,” Luke explained. “Very, very, very shy. Like, he would rather chew off his own leg than make small talk with a stranger. I think, before I knew all this, I was still subconsciously looking for him. All my exes are the same type.”

That—

Okay, so like.

Did these people own a TV?

“Do we look like we own a TV?” Luke deadpanned. “No. If Ben senses anything bigger than a datapad happening in this place, he’s driven to madness and breaks it.”

UH?

“He doesn’t actually break it,” Luke sighed. “He just finds a way to make it unusable—putting clothes on it, disconnecting the monitor, that kind of thing. He thinks they waste electricity.”

What a guy. Peter wanted to put him and May in a room and see what conspiracies they could spin together.

“Why do you ask?” Luke asked.

Ned cleared his throat.

“Do you have a, uh, datapad, then?” he asked.

“DIN. That’s DIN. He’s got his own show. Oh my god, that’s—stay right there. Don’t move.”

Bless this man. Peter wanted to hug him so bad. They’d lost him to the staircase leading up from the second floor to the attic. Peter wondered who he was showing the tablet to.

Maybe Obi-Wan?

“I told you this already,” a voice up there said.

“LOOK AT HIM.”

“You’re killin’ me, smalls. We had this exact conversation last week. Did you forget?”

“You knew where he was.”

“Alright, alright. Downward march.”

Anakin fucking Skywalker came down the stairs with a handful of Luke’s shirt in one hand and the tablet shoved under his other arm. He paused and frowned at the three of them in the kitchen frozen in shock, and then apparently decided that that didn’t matter. He carried on dragging Luke with him towards the kitchen counter. He dropped the tablet onto it and Peter realized that the lower half of his sleeve on that side was empty.

He watched as the guy let go of Luke and chased the not-angry cat off the counter, cursing.

“Alright, this?” he said, tapping on the tablet. “Is the link I put here.” He rapped the same finger on what Peter now saw was a whiteboard covered in rows upon rows of symbols that he’d never seen before.

“Din here? Din here. You see?” Vader told Luke with untold patience.

“I can’t read that,” Luke moaned. “You lied to me.”

“It’s up in the kitchen, Luke.”

“You’re a liar and a cad. Do it in Basic.”

“This is Basic.”

Oh, dear. All that fanfic about Luke meeting Darth Vader and having a breakdown was looking real embarrassed now, wasn’t it?

“If it’s Basic, why can’t I read it?” Luke demanded.

“Because, like I told you last night, the night before, and the night before that,” Vader said painstakingly, “It doesn’t all come back at once. It’s going to take time.”

“We don’t have time,” Luke snapped.

Vader leaned his head back with half-lidded eyes. Luke didn’t look even remotely like his kid, even with him looking all pre-quels-like now.

“We talked about this, too, remember?” Vader asked.

Obviously not. Luke was distressed. He had eyes only for the tablet now.

“No, of course not, silly me,” Vader said. “Why are humans here?”

“Ahsoka went home,” Luke said.

“Thank you, that was not my question.”

“What was your question?”

“Why are non-order humans here?”

“I told you, Ahsoka went—”

“Son, I will kill you if you continue to act like Obi-Wan,” Vader said without missing a beat.

“You can try,” Luke said offhandedly. “But only one of us has two handed grip.”

There was a long stare.

“It’s Obi-Wan,” Vader told him. “Why do we have living guests?”

He gestured back to Peter, Ned, and MJ like they were flies on a set of blinds.

“Oh, because that’s Spiderman and he stole your kyber crystals,” Luke said.

Vader rounded on Peter, and Peter actually felt fear.

Vader blinked once.

“This may as well happen,” he decided somehow placidly. “I’m going back upstairs. Where did your grand-master go?”

“Into the mist,” Luke said. “Can you feel Din?”

“Negative, ghostrider.”

“When the Force chooses you first out of favoritism, can you feel for Din?”

“Ah yes, can I feel for your Force-repellant life partner with all of the Force energy that I do not have? Yes, I sure can.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Anytime, primary monstrosity of my loins.”

UM?

This felt a little hostile for Peter’s tastes. Not that it wasn’t earned. Clearly it was earned. It was just horrifying.

“Guests, you are dismissed,” Vader said in their direction. “Unless you’re drawn to the rock outside, in which case, you may stay. Otherwise, do not darken this doorstep again, or else we will leave you with the other dead in the morgue.”

“Thanks for bringing the crystals,” Luke said from behind him. “And for talking. I do feel better, actually.”

They left the funeral home. Obi-Wan was outside by the mailbox as though waiting for them. Peter wasn’t sure he had any emotional energy left to approach him with.

“Thank you for speaking to Luke,” he said as the three of them attempted to pass unnoticed. “It’s good for him to talk to others his own age.”

Uh-huh. Good night, sir?

“Good night, Peter, Ned, and Michelle.”

They hadn’t given their names.

They definitely hadn’t given their names.

Ned wasn’t sleeping for two years. He made this clear with a lot of clapping gestures and then rolled around on the floor, talking about all kinds of shit that Peter couldn’t decipher. MJ watched him and flicked her eyes up to Peter with concern on her forehead.

“That family is cinematically dysfunctional,” she said.

Correct.

“They’re barely their own characters.”

Correct.

“What now?”

Peter wasn’t sure. The best he could think of was to just keep an eye on the situation. Maybe check in every couple of weeks?

“If you say so,” MJ said. “I think you made Ned’s life, by the way. Good job.”

Peter tried checking in every two weeks. It started because he happened to hear of a tunnel collapsing in Queens nearby the funeral home. He texted Luke to ask if he needed a save and all he got back was a ‘well, not anymore.’

After that, Peter kept a close eye on happenstances occurring around the city. There were more than he bargained for. And when he glanced at Luke’s Instagram after the first week after the tunnel collapse, he noted that two of the nails on the hand Luke held his coffee to the camera with had gone completely black.

That was worrying.

Peter was used to be the danger-prone asshole in his friendgroup. He did not like this role-reversal. MJ asked him sarcastically what the problem was.

He texted Luke again.

PP: how many nails do you have left bro?

LS: we put a hole in one to release the pressure

PP: that don’t sound great bro.

LS: it’s fine. Oh, but good news

PP: oh?

LS: the most predictable thing ever has happened. The Vader has regained force power

PP: that’s worrying

LS: ? why?

PP: won’t he go dark?

LS: ah, no. He fucked up and raised me and Leia with Ben this time after our mom died. He had his chance to go dark and traded it for 8 consecutive hours of sleep instead.

PP: I truly don’t know what to say

LS: It’s fine we did 12 years of family therapy after the accident so we are no longer on the DSS watchlist

PP: I know less what to say

LS: he won’t find din :/

PP: is that your priority right now?

LS: aren’t you supposed to be spiderman or something? Don’t you have chaotic things to say?

PP: you know normally I do, this is literally out of character for me. but I think you also might be absorbing my chaos.

LS: that’s fair. I have that effect on people. Hey, is your buddy Ned available to chat? He knows more than I can remember about my old life. Can I borrow him?

That sounded like a horrendous decision.

PP: yeah let me get you his number.

LS: thanksssss

Ned reported a few days later that his services were needed at the funeral home. He was leaving them all now to befriend Luke Skywalker as was his true destiny.

He came back a few hours later and reported that his services had been helpful and he was pleased to say that Darth Vader was now the official herder of ‘wans’ in the house. This included all Obi-Wans and padawans.

He seemed to be the only guy there who could like, retain information given to him for some reason. He accepted this as his lot in life and went around repeating the same things to the others ad nauseum until they finally stuck for them.

Peter wondered if that was his personal hell.

Ned didn’t think so. He thought the guy was pretty chill about it and had probably been doing it for a while now. He did it more for Ahsoka Tano and Luke than he did for Obi-Wan. Although that was probably because Obi-Wan appeared to be on a hunt that made all non-relevant information given to him slip off his back like water.

Another two weeks. Another text.

PP: hey luke, I saw you drowning on the news. You okay?

LS: GOD my ex-workplace keeps calling welfare checks on our house. We’ve had more cops here then flies these last few days.

PP: ex-workplace is one way to refer to your old job. Sounds like they cared about you. What did you do?

LS: preschool teacher.

Peter was going to lose his shit right here on this bed.

PP: was that your calling?

LS: that was Luke Naberry’s calling. Luke Skywalker’s calling is to make the lightsaber go vrrrrrrm

PP: you honestly terrify me

LS: thanks han says the same thing. OH. HE FOUND CHEWIE.

PP: no shit??

LS: yeah I told Ned, not you. But yeah. He found him lugging boxes for a bodega. And now they both work at the same bodega. Which like, objectively, is a bad thing because Han was a UN translator.

PP: I’m

PP: sorry

PP: what?

LS: I know he was all respectable and shit. It was awful. I can look at him again without feeling like I’ve failed in every part of my life.

PP: dare I ask what your sister does?

LS: lawyer

PP: not senator?

LS: we’re not old enough to be senators.

PP: every moment becomes more concerning than the next. You fascinate me. This is why they put you in like, all the films.

LS: because I’m sexy yeah

PP: that too

LS: not to you. I’m off-limits bub. I’m married.

PP: how’s that going for you?

LS: Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

PP: I see. So no Din yet?

LS: I will find him if it kills me

PP: that’s so romantic. Hey you should watch that series. They gave him a little green yoda in it. Really cute.

LS: that’s my son you piece of shit

There was no winning here.

MJ asked him a few weeks later if he was still keeping up with the Jedi drama since the whole city had recently decided that Peter was a snack.

Obviously he hadn’t.

She told him not to worry, Ned had. She told him to talk to Ned, so he went and talked to Ned with a heatpad in one hand and a coldpack in the other.

Ned patted at him sympathetically and informed him that Luke had reunited with the Force. It was going poorly for him, mostly because the Force wasn’t used to people being in touch with it in these parts of the universe. It kept telling each of the jedi that there was a disturbance and then luring them to each other to fight to the death.

Luke described it as the Force-equivalent of an auto-immune disease.

They’d taken to gathering in the living room of the funeral home to meditate in a circle, as though to calm the Force’s anxiety while scenting each other for protection.

It had a 40% success rate. Everyone was sleeping in locked rooms for the time being, just in case someone got compelled to do something rash.

Peter asked Ned if he’d finally lost his crown as King Chaos of NYC.

Ned patted him on the knee more firmly than before and said that he could regain his crown by introducing a calming element into the jedi household.

Peter had his pride to defend, so he asked what that element ought to be.

Din Djarin, the Mandalorian, the leader of all Mandalorians, was bound to have a name that looked nothing like the one they had for him. Luke nearly exploded when Peter approached him to asked him (and his taped fingers) more about who Din Djarin was outside the name.

They proceeded with caution, however. So far, Peter and Ned had discovered only dissonance between Luke’s account of his life partner (his ‘heart, stars, sun, and sand’) and the guy on the screen for the tv show. That was to be expected, given that they had met Luke now and learned of his somewhat explosive personality.

But even still, Luke’s description of Din Djarin as ‘kind, compassionate, tender, shy, emotionally stable, dependable, sweet, caring, and hunky’ seemed slightly biased.

Peter just wanted to know how tall this guy was. Hair color. Eye color. Skin color. Blood type. That kind of shit.

Luke said that Din had brown hair, brown eyes, Type Who Knows What blood, and was about six feet tall. He had no idea how much he weighed. He’d never had need for that information. He knew that Din was human, which was probably helpful in a galaxy far, far away. He knew that he spoke Mando’a as his first language, then Basic, then a whopping fifteen others. And he knew that Din was probably looking after their son.

Vader asked Peter over a mug of coffee (also labeled in the funeral home’s cabinet as ‘not spice.’) if Spidersenses could overcome a dearth of information. It took Peter a few moments to realize that he was sympathizing with him.

“You’re not going to find Din,” Vader told Luke. “You need to look for the kid. You’ll find the kid first, you always have.”

Luke took his coffee and poured it down the drain.

Peter decided that he didn’t want to get in between that burgeoning battle. He told Luke to text him if he remembered anything else.

Wade was pissed that Peter had been meeting and ‘cavorting’ with Luke Skywalker without him. He claimed ownership of the Din Djarin mystery in order to cram himself into Luke’s good graces. But quickly, he ran into the same stumbling blocks as Peter.

Din Djarin was six feet tall with brown eyes and brown hair.

That was what they currently had to go on.

Wade would have torn out his hair if he had any, but he stopped himself and accepted the challenge. Peter watched over his shoulder as he chicken-pecked his way into a list of social security numbers held by the NYC State ID issuing department and started methodically filtering names that did not sound like ‘Din.’

He started broad with all ‘D’s and then narrowed it down further and further and further until he was left with a shitload of Daniels.

He stared at the screen before him and vibrated.

Peter massaged his shoulders before he cracked.

It helped. Wade started filtering by height, then by eye color. Then by hair, and only ended up with several hundred people.

He vibrated again, but this time, Peter couldn’t help him.

He sighed. Wade said that there had to be a better way to do this. He got up.

Wade made about four thousand missing posters with the name Din Djarin on them which he recruited the whole team to plaster up around NYC. This was not a request.

Miles asked him why they were doing this for a tv character and had to be let in on the gig.

He lost his shit.

Louis tried to retain his shit.

Angel still didn’t know how the whole jedi thing worked.

Dave hummed and haw’ed and took his time in calling bullshit. Wade asked him to look deep into his eyes and ask if he was entertaining bullshit that fine evening.

Dave changed his opinion and took a stack.

There was no way that shit was supposed to work. There was just no way. A) because Wade had the worst ideas of all mankind and B) because Peter had the worst luck of all mankind. So the two of them together should have destroyed all the prospects of success for that job.

But instead, while they were hatching a new plot involving setting up a sham sociological study for people who responded to Star Wars names, Wade’s phone went off.

He grabbed it and opened the message and lo and behold right there was a note that read,

“I hope you are not a reporting body because this is going to sound certifiably insane, but I think I might be the guy you’re looking for?”

Wade screamed.

Peter scolded him not to get too excited too soon. They had to see the man first.

Wade texted furiously, asking for a picture and got a message back that said, “please do not dox me.”

They got no answer until Wade promised not to dox the guy.

And then they got an image of a man with brown hair and brown eyes with olive skin. His face was remarkably square. The picture wasn’t just him, though, he had in his arms a little boy with a head covered in tight ringlets. His eyes were so dark they were nearly black and he was maybe two years old.

The caption said, “apologies, my son needed to be in the picture.”

Wade cooed and entered Dad Mode to ask how old the baby was and what he liked to do and Peter lost the fathers to that small talk for a while before Wade oh-so-casually asked, “So you feel like you’re from outer space?”

“It sounds strange,” the guy on the other said wrote back, “But I do. Like every day I wake up and look in the mirror and something is wrong. I feel like I’m always forgetting something when I leave the house. I watched the tv show of the guy who’s name was on your fliers and the kid in it reminds me so much of my son. It’s eerie. They make the same sounds. He made the same sounds before we even watched that show.”

Wade whistled.

“I think this is him, Pete,” he said. “He called Baby Yoda a ‘kid’ not a yoda.”

Peter stared. He hadn’t even caught that. That was smart as hell.

“So what now?” he asked.

Wade sniffed.

“Get Skywalker to send you a selfie,” he said.

PP: Luke are you pretty right now?

LS: My face is intact

PP: take a selfie and send it to me

LS: cannot do that. Face is intact is a baseline situation. Let me find an old one. Oh, they all have my ex in them. This is awkward.

PP: it doesn’t matter I can crop it.

LS: no I have to be cute or I’ll perish hold on

PP: are you sure you’re not Johnny Storm?

LS: yes, he’s got loads of muscles. Sent.

Selfie acquired.

Luke looked very smiley in it. His eyes were blown out from the lighting, but it showed his sloping smile and his low, back-set dimples. Peter sent it to Wade. Wade sent it to his new friend.

They waited.

They waited five minutes.

Then ten.

Then half an hour.

Then nearly two.

And finally, Wade’s phone rang. He picked it up and set it on speaker so that Peter could hear.

“Hello?” Wade said.

There was a long pause.

“Where did you get that picture?” a low, almost smoky voice demanded on the other side.

“A friend,” Wade said sleazily. “You know him? He’s a cute little thing, ain’t he?”

It took the dude on the other side of the line worryingly long to respond.

“What do you want?” he finally asked.

Wade brought his head down in interest.

“What’re you willing do to?” he asked.

They waited. Peter didn’t know what was taking this guy so long to—

“Anything.”

Ah.

Okay. That.

That sounded about right.

Wade cackled.

“You know his name?” he asked.

“I do,” the man said.

“What’s his name then, pal?” Wade asked.

“It’s none of your fucking business.”

Holy shit. Holy shit. Peter clutched the back of the couch. Wade was grinning so hard, Peter could see it through his mask.

“You want him, you need to show me that you know who he is,” Wade said. “I ain’t got ‘im here, but I know where he is. Come on, big boy. Who is he?”

Peter could hear the man take in a deep, shaky breath.

“His name is Luke,” Din fucking Djarin, the Mandalorian himself, said.

Din fucking Djarin’s name at the moment was Danny Jabaran. He stood six feet tall with a medium build and that baby of his in his arms.

He was not afraid of Wade.

He was not afraid of Peter.

The suits didn’t scare him; this man was a space warrior. The leader of the space warriors. Peter was humbled to stand in his presence, old jeans and tattoos and all.

“Vigilantes,” he acknowledged.

“Deadpool,” Wade said, offering a hand. “And this is?”

“Grogu,” Djarin said.

Baby Yoda lifted his big liquid eyes up to Wade and blinked twice. Then he wriggled around and hid in Djarin’s neck. Djarin put a hand on his back and didn’t drop eye contact.

“Tell me everything,” Djarin said.

Ned screamed. Michelle screamed. Peter reminded them that he had neighbors and invited Mr. Mand’alor to sit on the couch for a bit while he called Luke.

Michelle claimed the spot next to Djarin and asked Baby Yoda Grogu for his little hand. He studied her and hid again, making a prolonged sound of distress that Djarin cut off by saying, “Hey. Manners.”

This somehow made baby Grogu turn back to Michelle to stare at her offered hand.

He took it. She shook with him and then took hers away.

Grogu perked up and reached for it again.

“You’re the Mandalorian,” Ned said.

Djarin looked right at him.

“A Mandalorian,” he corrected.

Ned blinked back tears.

“You’re so cool,” he creaked.

Djarin frowned.

“You...are too?” he tried.

Ned wept into a fist.

Peter left them to call Luke in his bedroom. Luke picked up on the third ring with the start of an ingrained greeting that sounded a whole lot like a customer service recording. He caught himself, though.

“I have someone I’d like you to talk to,” Peter said. “I think you might want to sit down.”

Luke’s unusual quiet on the other side made Peter grin.

“Are you sitting?” he asked.

“I’m sitting.”

“Alright, one moment,” Peter said, walking out into the living room. Djarin had edged far, far away from Ned, as far as he possibly could without being rude. He looked up when Peter came over and sat down on the arm next to him.

“Say hi,” Peter said.

Djarin frowned at him and then the phone.

“Who’s that?” he asked.

Peter waited. Djarin lifted his head over to see the phone’s screen.

“Hello?” he tried.

“Din?”

The Spidey Sense crashed through Peter like a tidal wave.

Djarin had gone completely still.

“Din? Is that you? Can you hear me?”

“Shit,” Djarin said, lifting a hand to cover his eyes. “Goddamnit. Jesus.”

“DIN.”

“Dank Fucking Farrik.”

“Oh my god.”

Baby Grogu’s face snapped toward the phone with huge eyes. He grabbed at Djarin’s collar, then his jaw and started bouncing a little in his arms.

“Bu?” he asked.

Djarin couldn’t make himself move.

“Grogu?” Luke asked. “Hey, baby, is that you, bubba?”

Grogu grabbed Djarin’s face urgently, so that he couldn’t hide his raw eyes anymore.

He pointed at the phone.

“Yeah, I hear ‘im, kid,” Djarin said.

“MMMMM. Gib.”

“Ah. That’s not ours. We don’t grab. We ask,” Djarin reminded as Grogu pleaded for the phone. Peter snickered and gave it to him. He just held it, staring.

“Do you wanna see him?” Peter asked. “Luke, can we maybe video chat?”

“Y-yeah,” Luke said. “Hold on. Oh god, my face. Uh, hey Din are you still near-sighted, hon?”

Djarin huffed a laugh that turned into a whole-body tremor.

“I got contacts,” he said a little hysterically.

“You got WHAT?” Luke yipped, “Okay, no. No, I gotta. Be still, this heart. Okay let me just take off the butterflies. On moment, Grogu, Daddy’s just gotta dunk his face in the damn sink.”

MJ bounced her eyebrows at Peter as he gently took the phone back from Grogu and tapped on the camera. He offered it back the kid and received a deep gaze of wonder in return. Djarin turned the screen right-side up in his hands.

Luke finally turned his camera on and revealed himself to be very swollen in the jaw with damp hair and a cut very close to the rim of his left eye.

Grogu screeched.

Luke laughed.

“Look at you,” he said, “I’m gonna cry. Oh my god. Where’re your ears, pal?”

Grogu analyzed this reaction for 2 full seconds and then shoved the camera right into his dad’s forehead. Djarin took it from him and liberated himself so that he could see Luke who was clutching at his face, absolutely already sobbing, bless him.

He looked up to see Grogu and instead got Djarin and finally just broke right in half.

Peter swallowed back the growing lump in his throat. His eyes were starting to warm a little.

Djarin found a watery smile in himself.

“I know you’re not cryin’ because of me,” he said gently.

“Where’s your helmet?” Luke sobbed, wiping viciously at his eyes. “People are watching, you harlot.”

“I know,” Djarin said. “I lost it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Luke.”

“This is all my fault. I should’ve—I should’ve—”

“Luke,” Djarin said again, full of warmth, “You died for us.”

Luke shook harder than ever.

“There is no greater sacrifice a warrior can make,” Djarin told him. “I was honored for you to have made it for me and our son. This has always been the Way.”

“This is the Way,” Luke stammered.

“I missed you,” Djarin said. “Where in God’s name have you been?”

“I was a preschool teacher in the Bronx, man, I dunno what happened,” Luke said tipping his face up to force the tears back in.

“In the Bronx? Where?”

“Uh, off Allerton and Lurting?”

Djarin started shaking with laugher.

“I work off Laconia and Mace,” he said.

“You what?”

“We’ve been blocks apart this whole time.”

Awwwwww.

“I’m going to stab myself,” Luke moaned. “I’m going to stab myself in the arm. I was right there and I sold out for my part-time gig barely weeks ago. Oh my god. I’m going to—move, old man, I’m suffering—Wait. Din, did you find your parents?”

Djarin stood up and held the phone out straight.

“Where are you right now?” he asked.

Look at all these people hugging each other.

Look at them crying all over. There was a baby in there, wailing because he was so happy to be back in the arms of his other dad.

Aww. AWWWW. Peter was getting emotional again, he was going to see himself out.

“Wait. Peter.”

He looked up to find Luke holding a hand to him.

“Thank you,” he said. “You really are a superhero, you know that?”

Yeah.

Sometimes, he did.

The city had plenty of problems as it was, yeah, more now with a bunch of jedi running around, linking up with each other and spreading memory like mushroom spores. But it didn’t feel that much different.

What it felt like now was Ned showing Grogu how to hold his hand at the seeing stone in the funeral home’s back yard to make the Force happen while Obi-Wan reported cheerfully that the cat perched on it was still not levitating.

It also felt like watching Luke freak out over text to Ned and Michelle about his ex losing their mind at him dumping them after two years to marry this random mechanic within a week of getting together.

Peter got to see this from new angles, too, one of which was the bottom of the funeral home’s attic stairs, which Anakin Skywalker liked to sit on while his grandkids—both Grogu and Han Solo and Leia Organa (pardon, Leia Naberry)’s son—came over to show him things that he was very well aware of. These were stolen from him by Auntie Ahsoka and her friends who Ned knew and Peter did not.

And there was something warming about how even these folks—people from a galaxy far, far away, occasionally needed a Spiderman.

#spiderman #starwars #dinluke #inimitable verse #ficlet #this is the niche of the niche but I know like 5 of you read both my mando and spiderman fics #so this is for you doll #and also the fact that I have a fucking PROBLEM

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purplepenntapus · 4 years ago

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Rating Versions of Harry Osborn: Updated

Wanted to redo this post with a more comprehensive and inclusive list of Harrys

616 Comics:

Just such a good and complex character. The OG Harry. His relationship with Peter just adds so much depth to every Green Goblin arc because of the inherent conflict of Peter knowing he needs to take down Norman Osborn, but not wanting to hurt or lose his best friend. (If you’ve read Kindred no you haven’t.) He’s still... ugly... I’m sorry 616 Harry... I love you so much but they did you dirty... Some artists do their best with what they have but... I’m not a big fan of western comic style in general so that doesn’t help. Has three failed marriages by the time he’s 30 because he’s gay and deeply closeted. 8/10

Spider-Man the Animated Series (1994):

The Harry plotline in this show reeeeally doesn’t feel earned, because the first time we see Harry having an active role in the show, he asks Peter to move in with him because Norman wants him to have a responsible studious roommate (a detail from the comics I was EXTREMELY excited to see play out), and Peter comments that they barely know each other. Ultimately they live together for all of one day before Peter decides to move back in with Aunt May. The next time we see Harry, MJ calls him Peter’s best friend, despite the fact that we haven’t seen Peter hanging out with—or even MENTIONING—Harry since the last episode when they were basically strangers. Really it feels like he’s just there to cause romantic drama as the guy MJ graciously settles for when she gives up on Peter. I found the whole goblin plotline kind of boring and lacking in depth. 3/10

Raimi Trilogy:

I was never interested in Raimi Harry until after I started liking and exploring other versions of Harry, because I just thought he was kinda a shit friend. He’s a pretty strong character overall, but his motivations aren’t as obvious. He’s torn between his love of Peter as his best friend, and his bitterness towards Peter for being the man his father wished he was. I don’t think Raimi Harry really wanted MJ, he just wanted to get back at Peter in a way by taking someone that HE loved. However I feel like his characterization kind of sways back and forth between sympathetic and not depending on how he’s written in the scene, and it disappoints me that the thing that gets him to stop tormenting Peter is the butler telling him out of nowhere that Norman died from his own blade, rather than any real character development on his part. 6/10

Spectacular Spider-Man:

I still haven’t watched all of this show because I... can’t STAND this version of Peter... but I’ve watched many clips with this boy and he’s just... so sweet... He only wants to be loved and keeps getting his heart broken. Deserves better. On everything. He deserves a better father, a better best friend, better love interests, everything. I do really enjoy the way they incorporated 616 Harry’s drug abuse into this show with the Globulin Green, it was a very clever way to incorporate that aspect of his character, but tone it down for younger viewers. I’ve watched the scene of him getting “unmasked” as the Green Goblin about a million times it’s very good. 8/10

Ultimate Spider-Man:

I love him. Most people fear drifting apart from those close to us, so watching Harry struggle with the new and increasing distance between him and Peter as Peter seemingly makes new, “better” friends is downright heartbreaking. Especially when he overhears Sam implying that Peter only hangs out with him for his money which is something he’s clearly experienced a lot. (Seriously Sam what the fuck.) I also love his struggle with Venom throughout the series as a metaphor for his anger and bitterness, it’s never truly gone even when they work hard to remove it. It’s always there to bubble back up under extreme amounts of stress, especially when Norman is involved. (Also this isn’t a Norman review, but USM Norman is the only version of Norman Osborn that has rights and he works hard to be the father Harry deserves.) Had an honest to God meet-cute with Peter like come on???? Its unfortunate how much they cut back Harry’s role in the third and fourth season, I really would have loved to see more of him. Threw a party specifically so he could ignore Peter to his face because he was jealous and I respect that level of pettiness. 9/10

Spider-Man: The New Animated Series

I didn’t think it was possible to create an uglier Harry than 90s Harry but this blonde, fuck-boy lookin creepass came and proved me wrong. Who the FUCK is this?? Doesn’t have any recognizable characteristics of Harry Osborn besides being rich and hating Spider-Man. Also just... look at him. I wouldn’t trust this man anywhere NEAR my drink at a party. #NotMySon -3/10

The Amazing Spider-Man:

He’s okay. I think he has some very emotional scenes and good chemistry with Peter, but it’s dampened by the fact that he wasn’t present in the first film and had to share the second with like two other main plot lines. Ultimately ends up being the least sympathetic version of Harry Osborn because he became the original Green Goblin and killed Gwen, rather than following in his father’s footsteps. That’s not to say he’s a completely unsympathetic character. He has a strong motivator in his fear of death, and I do think the choice they made for his character were interesting and could have developed really well, but they didn’t get the chance since the franchise was dropped. 5/10

PS4 Spider-Man:

ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM. WISH WE GOT MORE OF HIM. HAVING YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF HARRY OSBORN BROKEN AS YOU SNEAK AROUND NORMAN’S PENTHOUSE AND LEARN THAT HE’S BEEN SECRETLY STRUGGLING WITH A GENETIC DISEASE HE’S BEEN HIDING FROM HIS BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS WAS -chef’s kiss- GENIUS. PLEASE GIVE US A SECOND GAME WITH VENOM HARRY. 10/10

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2017):

Still easily my favorite version of Harry Osborn. When I first began watching the show I was startled by their decision to make Harry a science genius like Peter because it was so different from their usual dynamic, and many people who aren’t fans of the show point to this as something they dislike. But I actually ended up really loving the decision. It gives a different flavor to Harry in how he reacts to the events of the show and how we interpret his character traits, while still being very inherently Harry Osborn. Harry is jealous of Peter, he loves him dearly, but there’s always this ember of bitter envy ready to burst into anger whenever the plot creates friction between them. This is one of the defining traits of their relationship and in most versions it’s not hard to understand why. Peter has what Harry wants. He’s intelligent, he has potential, and most importantly he’s loved. Peter is the son Harry knows Norman wishes he had, and that creates a wedge between them. Marvel’s Spider-Man changes this dynamic. Harry can easily stand toe-to-toe with Peter in terms of intelligence, and in fact they often work together to create things or solutions Peter couldn’t have come up with on his own. That initial wedge between them isn’t there, creating a very endearing and loving friendship that we know is doomed to sour because it isn’t enough. MSM Harry could be the person Norman wants him to be, and that places the full weight of his father’s impossibly high expectations on his shoulders, always within reach but never quite achievable. So it makes a lot more sense why Peter initially has a low guard towards Norman (as opposed to some other series where Peter seems oddly dismissive of Harry’s justified complaints) and Harry’s own steadfast loyalty to his father. On the surface Norman seems like a perfectly loving parent, he encourages his son, he created an entire school for him when he was wrongfully accused of sabotage, it’s only when you start to dig deeper into their relationship that you see the subtle manipulations and the issues Harry has from constantly chasing his father’s approval. This creates a Harry who is desperate for validation and extremely sensitive to rejection, which colors his relationship with Peter throughout the show. I’m still mad he got nerfed in the second and third seasons because Disney is homophobic. TLDR: I may be biased ... Infinity/10

MCU:

Where is he? Who knows? Man missing in action. ?????/10

#Harry Osborn #spider-man #msm 2017 #did i rant about various Harry Osborns way longer than I intended to? Yes yes I did #if anyone reads this tell me if i missed any prominent Harrys lmao #long post

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fluffymcu · 4 years ago

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Letting Loose

Part EIGHTEEN

This series is TICKLE related.

Series Summary: You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :) Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,962

It’s been a few weeks since the outdoor movie night. You were looking around in the kitchen for something to eat when you heard Sam make cooing noises from his place on the couch. You turned to see him flipping through a small book. You walked up to him to see what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” you asked. He looked up from the book and smiled.

“Just lookin’ at your baby pictures.” He said. 2 or 3 of them were from the 40’s that Steve had in his uniform pockets while he was looking for you when you were kidnapped by HYDRA. Others were pictures that Steve took of you during the year that you lived in an apartment when you were 5 or 6. The rest were pics that the team took of you as you were growing up after you moved to the tower then the compound.

“Aww, look at you here.” Sam said, pointing to a picture of you with cake on your face. You internally cringed. “So adorable! With your little bows and everything.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not adorable Sam.” You said.

“Oh, so you think you’re grown now? That you're not adorable anymore?” Sam asked amused, raising an eyebrow at you. You pursed your lips and crossed your arms.

“I may not be grown but I’m not adorable.” You sass. Sam chuckled at that.

“Well I have proof right in this book that says otherwise. Look .“ he smirked, flipping through many pictures or tea parties, days in the pool, the team playing dress up with you, and much more. Through them all, Sam was cooing the while time. You groaned and covered your face in mild frustration. You flopped down on the couch and sat there with your arms crossed. Sam didn’t pay you any mind at your little attitude and just kept looking through the book.

Bucky walked in at that moment and noticed your body language. “What's y/n so worked up about?” he asked Sam. “I mean, I know she’s talking to you and that’s enough to make anyone upset but is there any other reason?” he said, smirking a bit when Sam rolled his eyes.

“Little y/n here is getting all blushy because I keep calling her adorable.” He says, going the extra mile and pinching your cheek. You whined and leaned way from his touch.

“I am not!” you could feel your face heat up. Bucky chuckles.

“Aww this is what you're cranky about? You are adorable! Look at these pictures of when you were a baby; just precious!” he says, taking the book from Sam. You growled and slumped down further on the couch. And so begins the endless teasing session.

“Look she's pouting. How cute. But as adorable as that is, I don’t know how I feel about having a pouty y/n. Buck?” Sam asked.

“Oh, absolutely not. We can’t have that! We love a happy girl!” You pout even more to show your annoyance.

“Nothing seems to work, Buck. What do you suggest we do?”

“Well, I suggest we do the thing that always makes her smile when she's pouty!” he smirked. Your eyes widened at that and you tried to make a run for it. Of course, the super soldier got to you before you could and thew you back on the couch. You were already giggling, your annoyed facade melted away. Nervousness overcame your senses as you realized not only Bucky is about to tickle you to pieces but Sam as well.

“Wahahait! Guhuhuys! I wont pout anymore I promise!!” you begged. Sam raised an eyebrow at you.

“But will you admit you're the most adorable thing ever?” he teased. You pursed your lips in a scowl.

“I'm not adorable!” you growled.

Bucky and Sam turned to face each other at the same time and nodded. “Denial.” They immediately pounced on you, eliciting loud and bubbly giggles. Bucky was wasting no time, drilling his fingers into your ribs while Sam was repeatedly squeezing up and down your thighs. You threw your head back as you laughed, keeping your arms pressed to your sides, even though it did nothing to stop the ticklish feeling.

“We can do this all day, y/n. We won’t stop until you admit it.” Bucky smirked, slipping his hands up further up to wiggle his hands under your arms. You yelped and erupted into high pitched laughter, kicking out your legs. Sam had gotten a hold of your ankle and was now scratching the soles of your feet, making you cackle. “Tickle tickle tickletickletickle! Aww look at that adorable smile!”

Your face was burning as you blushed and tried to cover your face with your hands. Bucky chortled and shook his head, lifting your shirt and blowing a long raspberry, tasing your sides at the same time. You shrieked and shot your arms right back down. “I CAHAHANT BREHEHEATHE!” You cried, shaking your head side to side. It became clear then that they really weren’t going to stop until you gave in. “AHAHAHAA OKAHAHAY OKAHAY ILL SAY IHIHIT! EEH!” You squealed and fell right back into hysterics when Sam started to squeeze your knee.

“Well? On with it then.” Sam said, not letting up on his torture. Bucky smirked, tickling your waistline, making your giggles more desperate.

“Lehehet me go fihihirst.” You giggled.

“NOPE!” Bucky said, blowing another raspberry. You arched your back with a loud squeal and finally gave in.

“NOOOHOHO OKAY IM ADOHOHORABLE!” You cry, scrunching up your neck when Bucky feathers is fingers around your neck.

“Damn right. And you better not forget it.” Bucky said, pointing a finger at you warningly. You blushed and turned on your belly to hide your face.

“Okay, yes, I get it.” You whine feigning annoyance. Bucky and Sam shook their heads at you fondly and left, leaving you to rest on the couch. You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you woke up to the soft chatter of the team in the kitchen. You hadn’t opened your eyes yet and were still half asleep but you could tell you were covered by a blanket. Someone must have put it on you when you were asleep.

You stirred a bit and woke up a little more at the sound of chuckling and you sat up on the couch. You had wrinkle marks on the side of your face that was on the couch and you turned to see the team gathered around the island, having a conversation. Bucky has the first one to turn and see you, smiling and winking at you. You giggled, drawing the attention of the other team members. Steve smirked at your sleepy look and put a hand on his hip. “Look who finally woke up.”

“How was your nap, Sleeping Beauty?” Tony teased, taking a sip of his coffee.

You giggled again and fell back onto the couch to cover your blush with the blanket. “What are you guys talking about.” You asked, your voice muffled a bit. Steve walked over and sat on the couch next to you, lifting up your legs to sit.

“We’re trying to see where we wanna go to eat. There’s a nice new Wing place a few minutes out of Town Square. Think you’d like that?” He asked, rubbing up and down your legs comfortingly. You nodded with lazy smile.

“Alright, it’s decided then. Everyone get ready, we leave in 20.” Tony said, clapping his hands once. You got up and headed to your room to change.

-----

You had all just gotten seated at a table after waiting for a bit. The place was still new so there were many people there wanting to try it out. You sat next to Wanda and Bruce and across from Peter and Steve. Nat was sitting next to him. As you all were waiting for your food, you looked up to see Steve sit back and wrap an arm around Nat’s chair, kinda on her shoulders while Nat scooted closer with a small smile.

You grin to yourself and dig in your food when it arrives, making a note to yourself to tease Nat about it later.

------

You got home and followed Nat around all the way to her room, without saying a word until you closed the door behind you.

“So...? You and Steve have been getting pretty close, huh?” You asked, bumping her with your elbow and smiling smugly.

“What makes you say that?” She said, folding the rest of her laundry and obviously trying to play dumb. You rolled your eyes playfully and scoffed.

“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t know. I think you should tell him and the team already; that you officially like him.”

“And why should I feel the need to do that yet?”

“Because... if you don’t tell him, I will.” Of course you were joking, you would never reveal a secret like that to someone. You turned on your heel and went for her bedroom door. “Oh, steeeeve!” You sang.

You didn’t expect Nat to quickly come up behind you and stick her hands under your arms. You immediately clamped up and fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. “Y/n don’t you dare-I will stuff you in my closet and keep you hostage if you tell him.” She playfully growled, following you to the ground and wrapping herself around you like a koala and tickling your sides. You were in hysterics.

“OKAHAHAHAY I WONT TELL HIM!” You cried. You were basically trapped in her hold and could do nothing but laugh your heart out. She dug her nails in between your ribs, making you cackle and arch your back.

“Promise?” She smirked, pinching mischeviously at your hip bones.

“YEHEHES, I WOULD NEVEHEHEHER!” After that, she let you go from the hold and you sprawled out on the floor, panting. Nat smirked at your exhausted state.

“Good.” She hummed. She stood up and leaned against the bed, her lips pursing a bit as she gulped. “So... how do you feel about it?” She asks a little more serious now.

You sat up on the floor and raised your eyebrows at her. “Seriously? I ship you guys so hard.” You chuckle. “If I’m being honest, I was rooting for you guys since... years ago.” You chortled. “I really hope you guys become a thing in the future. Just know I’ll always be your #1 supporter.”

Nat smiles at that, pulling you into a hug. “Thank you y/n. That means a lot. Really. I don’t know what would be possible of us if you didn’t support a relationship between us. Maybe now we actually have a chance.” She says.

“Of course!” You smile and return the hug.

-------

Tonight was Movie night with the team and you were snuggled up to Thor and Bucky. You smiled to yourself and leaned your head on Thor’s shoulder. You looked around to see everyone on the couches, sitting net to each other nd having their snacks with smiles on their faces. Right then, you had a moment where you became aware of the life you had. You had an amazing family that loved you so much and you loved them back. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. You glanced over at Ruby Anne to see her sitting net to her dad. You couldn’t wait until Ruby started to feel the same feeling you feel about your family now. You sighed happily, resting your head back on his shoulder.

“Goodnight. Love you guys.” You sighed before closing your eyes. The rest of the team smiled at you and bid you goodnight as well.

“We love you too y/n/n.”

-------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyed the series! this was really amazing and stressful and fun and interesting to write and although some of these chapters may not be that good, just know I put my heart and soul into this series and I was really happy to share it with you guys. <3

Remember if you’d like to request a plus chapter continuing this storyline, feel free to request one but please be specific as to what you’d like to see in that chapter. Thank you so much for reading! :D

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 4 years ago

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I liked your ava post, do you have more aboout usm. The WHOle usm team?

I can’t say I have many many hcs but I’ll give you where I think they might end up after SHIELD, and two songs that fit them if that works.

Peter: I don't know why but I feel like Peter would want to look for his parents once he leaves SHIELD and while doing so, he ends up in a lot of team ups and building up more of his rogues gallery. Basically I imagine stuff from the comic with spider clones, dating MJ, briefly rejoins the Avengers then leaves. Yeah I don't have much for him since comic history leaves people to choose what they want. Imagine Dragon's Beliver because he does have such a heavy pain inside, but that's the thing, he keeps it inside until he snaps them into his fight for justice. "First things first, I'ma say all the words inside my head. I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, The way that things have been.Second thing second, Don't you tell me what you think that I could be. I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea...Taking my message from the veins. Speaking my lesson from the brain. Seeing the beauty through the pain!"

Danny: I'd like to think that he stays in NY to start Heroes for Hire with Luke as soon as they leave SHIELD. They're bros, and he justifies the absence that New York needs Iron Fist more than K'Lun for the moment. He also tries his hand at getting Rand Industries back on track. I also think he does return to K'Lun eventually as King and mystical head. After his work at Rand Industries, he feels more confident as a leader and is willing to stand up to the monks when it comes with changing some of the old ways. Allowing him to travel back to NY to see his friends while keeping the mystical origins of K'Lun sacred. I think Nature Boy rather fits him, soft and melodious and Danny learning he is not alone sort of. "There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boyThey say he wandered very far..Very far over land and sea. A little shy and sad of eye. But very wise, was he." Les Miserables’ Who am I mainly because I imagine Danny has some identity issues between feeling worthy of the Iron Fist, feeling torn between the US and K'Lun. Ideally, he would end up learning being one does not give up the other part of himself. As one would say they can coexist in a balance. "Who am I? Can I conceal myself forever more.. Pretend I’m not the man I was before?....How can I ever face my fellow men? How can I ever face myself again?"

Luke: As said above, with Danny, when they leave SHIELD, they create Heroes for Hire, they ride or die forever. Together they clean up their part of New York and Luke comes to terms with some of his past and the people he dealt with in jail. He also meets Jessica Jones during this time and she becomes his new partner (in more ways than one) when Danny leaves for K'Lun. He sometimes does freelance work for SHIELD, mainly at the behest of his parents, sometimes as a favor to Fury. He also sometimes comes by the Helicarrier to be a surprise mentor to whatever new hero they pick up. He is the main instigator of team reunions.

Adam Levine’s If I got locked away totally fits him after the time he spent in jail and scared of being seen as weak, it really fits him and his insecurities. "If I got locked away And we lost it all today. Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same? If I showed you my flaws. If I couldn't be strong. Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same?" One call away also fits him simply for his caring nature and how he'll do anything for his friends, "I'm only one call away. I'll be there to save the daySuperman got nothing on me. I'm only one call away/ Call me, baby, if you need a friend. I just wanna give you love...No matter where you go, know you're not alone. I'm only one call away."

Ava: I think once Ava leaves SHIElD, she has some trouble with the amulet whether form being on her own, knowing SHIELD isn't there watching her every move or just cockiness that she can handle it now. Either way, I see her as taking a break from the amulet. Reasoning her father wanted her to keep it safe, it didn't mean she had to put it on and be a hero. Ideally, she goes to therapy to work through all these issues before ever putting it on again. I imagine she goes home to PR too. I think she could go into bounty hunting, it's more freelance, she helps put baddies away and she can put her investigative skills to good use. Eventually she'd be White Tiger again but for more superpowered threats than every day patrolling. Just breathe from In the Heights not only for the spanish influences but also the utter fear of returning a failure, "Straighten the spine. Smile for the neighbors. Everything's fine, everything's cool. The standard reply: Lots of tests, lots of papers. Smile, wave goodbye and pray to the sky, "Oh God!" And what will my parents say? Can I go in there and say, "I know I'm letting you down..." Alyssa Greene from The Prom. The lyrics speak for themselves of the utter perfectionism and drive, "The hair has to be perfect. The As have to be straight...Trophies have to be first place. Ribbons have to be blue. There's always some competition or hoops for jumping through. Just have everything perfected by the time you reach eighteen"

Sam: Admittedly I don't know much about Nova lore or backstory as the others but I think he'll go back to space. Not necessarily as part of the Guardians because honestly I think they had enough members without him. Maybe as a solo act before he finds the other Nova Corps. I definitely see him as becoming a trainer there, finally being the leader he always wanted to be. I also want him to reconnect with his family so he does travel back to Earth to visit them and then swoops by NY for some reunion with his old team before heading back to space.

Bieber’s Lonely fits Sam because at the heart of it all, I think that's what he is. Lonely, he's still young and trying to navigate these powers and his place in the world and space and what his identity is. And no one else can quite get that. "Everybody knows my name now. But somethin' 'bout it still feels strangeLike lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself and seein' somebody else. And everything is not the same now. It feels like all our lives have changed Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down. But it's killin' me now. What if you had it all, nut nobody to call? Maybe then you'd know me 'cause I've had everything. But no one's listening and that's just f- lonely." Shawn Mendes' Wonder works for similar reasons. Mainly I imagine him singing it to his missing father who inherited so much but knows nothing personally about him, "I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint. I wonder, when I cry into my hands. I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man and I wonder if someday you'll be by my side and tell me that the world will end up alright. I wonder..I wonder." And then a party song for each

Sam: All I do is win by DJ Khaled "All I do is win, win, win no matter what. Got money on my mind, I can never get enough ('Nough) And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go up And they stay there And they stay there, up, down, up, down, up, down 'Cause all I do is win (Win), win (Win), win And if you going in put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there"

Luke: Finesse by Bruno Mars, "We out here drippin' in finesseIt don't make no sense Out here drippin' in finesse You know it, you know it We out here drippin' in finesse It don't make no sense Out here drippin' in finesse You know it, you know it"

Peter: Another one bites the dust by Queen "nother one bites the dustAnother one bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another one bites the dust Hey I'm gonna get you too Another one bites the dust"

Danny: Normally, I don't think Danny would be into party music, too much cursing, too much noise to distort the mind, that stuff. But Rihanna is catchy. "I wanna take you away, let's escape into the music, DJ, let it playI just can't refuse it, like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the, please don't stop the music I wanna take you away, let's escape into the music, DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it, like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the, please don't stop the, please don't stop the music"

Ava: Woman by Ke$ha "I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, alright I don't need a man to be holding me too tight I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, that's right I'm just having fun with my ladies here tonight I'm a motherfucker" This other cool blog is much more into USM and has tons of hcs if you want more of this stuff, @im-rewriting-ultimate-spider-man

#ultimate spiderman #usm #peter parker #spider man #ava ayala #white tiger #danny rand #iron fist #luke cage #power man #sam alexander #nova #my hcs #my headcanons

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mydearsaddiary · 4 years ago

Text

Speakeasy Tonight Fanfic- Neil Season 3

Hello! For those of you who don’t know Im writing a fanfic on how I’d imagine Neil Season 3 to go! This is chapter 4, here’s a link with all the chapters: https://mydearsaddiary.tumblr.com/NeilSeason3Fanfic

Little curiosity notes: We’re back in Chicago and Neil stayed in Boston ): Time to get back into the prohibition business because Vera Peters is causing trouble around town again! Let’s go!! (There’s drama but fluff here too, promise)

Chapter 4- Trouble on the home front. I declare war.

1926

I was back in Chicago for five days now. To forget everything that happened in the last week I was drowning myself in work. The guys at the Ice Box seemed a little worried, especially because they knew about the engagement. Uncle Charlie seemed sad and disappointed at the same time. I didn’t blame him. It’s weird the things you think. I didn’t think Neil to be the type that broke hearts, but I did know he was afraid of commitments. Maybe this was just him escaping

However, anyone could see that the break-up was getting at me. I didn’t talk about anything but business, nobody had mentioned Neil since I got back and everyone felt a little empty without the Doc in his usual spot drinking his bourbon

-Hey, MC- Cliff called me at the bar while I was working on the inventory that night- What do you want me to do with this?- He pointed to the box of Neil’s secret bourbon stash

-Well, no use wasting good bourbon, right?-I picked it up, but Cliff saw it was a little too heavy for me and picked it up himself. I didn’t like anyone thinking I needed help but I did feel weaker in the arms these days- Just put it in Charlie’s Studebaker, I’ll take it home with me

-Alright, leave it to me- He said taking it outside

-Hey, doll- A familiar voice came behind me- You feeling better?

-Hey, Vince-I smiled at the other who sat at the bar- I’m fine, time heals things don’t it? If I just keep working, I’ll get over it in no time

-I could always take you out for a spin, you know that, right?

I chuckled- It’s too soon, but should I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know

He nodded- Well, if you’re interested in keep on working I might have something

-Yeah?

-Seems like your days dealing with the drys might be over for a while. I got some leads Vera Peters is been causin’ trouble around town

-But the mayor and O’Sullivan are down, she doesn’t have any help

-You think dat would stop ‘er, lassie?- Donovan said something for the first time tonight, hanging on tightly to his whiskey

-She did give me a call right after, spilling something about me “winning the battle, but not the war”

-She is onto something. She had O’Sullivan wrapped around her finger. Now that he’s in jail, that bastard O’Fallon is in power, and I think she’s been hanging around The Broiler

-That’s what I ‘eard too. Vera Peters might be lookin to be de next big name in de gangster racket

-Uncle Charlie mentioned she’s still showing up to the temperance meetings. Trying to keep her image, I guess.

-Seems like those temperance meetings are gonna be a war zone from now on-Vince said- O’Sullivan was the big name. If she somehow works her ways into his operations-

-She’d be causing trouble especially for us since she obviously hates me- I sighed- One more chapter of the Vera Peters saga-I looked around for a certain fella- Elliot!- I called. He got up from his gambling table and left his starlet blondes waiting for him

-May I say you look extraordinary tonight, MC?

-Thanks Elliot, you may say that- I poured a drink for myself- Have you been hanging around Gerald these days?

-I’ve been to the Broiler recently.

-Heard anything interesting?

He looked to his side a little sketchy, as if he was about to tell a lie- Well, only about the changes in management due to O’Sullivan being in jail

-Can it, Elliot. I’m asking about anything that might cause us trouble

-Vera Peters has been hanging out there. She doesn’t drink, but I know her and Gerald have been keeping each other company. I thought it might be something romantic

I laughed- Vera and Gerald? Yea, it makes so much sense- I said ironically- I’m sure Vera isn’t Gerald’s type. She’s interested in something else. She wants something and it’s not good. Think you can go back there and find out more about it?

-Yes, me and Gerald were planning to gamble tomorrow over at the Broiler

-Great. Dig some and tell us what you find out

After that I also told Sofia to keep her eyes and ears open, Vince offered to drive me home but I reminded him I have driven Charlie’s Studebaker. I took driving as a hobby, it always seemed interesting and now that I was trying to get my hands on anything to do to forget about my current situation, I couldn’t find a reason not to do it.

I went home that night like I went home every night since I came back from Boston. I had no energy to do anything, but at the same time I couldn’t rest. It was like my body spent the day telling me to give up and sleep, but it wouldn’t let me sleep once I laid in bed. Insomnia was part of my nights, at least until seven in the morning when I did manage to sleep, and then I’d wake up once or twice, and proceed to get up at ten a.m., when I couldn’t go back to sleep anymore.

So then I’d find something to do. I didn’t feel hungry in the morning, so I’d drive around for a few hours. Then at around noon I’d go check the inventory of the appliance store. Uncle Charlie would be there working, we’d talk for a few hours, then he’d ask if I wanted to play some chess. Unfortunately I cringed at the thought of touching a chess piece and I’d say I’d rather do something else.

Sometimes he’d ask me if I wanted to go back to Columbus, be near everyone else. I’d tell him I knew he was worried, but it was normal to be sad and it was momentary. I knew why he’d ask though. My face when I would wake up was pale, I’d gotten a little bit skinnier, and I didn’t talk as much. Even Uncle Charlie had to start playing the host.

That brings us to when the Ice Box would open. I was still convinced that Neil Dresner wasn’t going to be the cause I stopped doing my job. The only job I wasn’t doing well was talking and pretending I was doing fine. I didn’t dance anymore either. I usually stayed in the back room working on the inventory, helping Cliff make drinks and deal with some problems, like Vera Peters.

That other night, Elliot walked into the Ice Box and he brought company as he always did, but one of his friends that night was Gerald O’Fallon

-What is he doing here?-Vince tightened his fists walking over to the door, but not before Cliff held him by the shoulder

-I’ll find that out-I called the both of them to a table in the corner of the speakeasy. I’m sure the talk we were about to have was going to be important

-So, Gerald, Elliot- I stared at the both of them- What can I help you with?- I said expecting they’d give me some information

-Well, I talked to Gerald some about Vera, like you asked

-I see you’ve kept it very secret too, like I asked- I stared at him

-No… MC, listen to him

I turned my attention to the red-headed rival and he started to talk- I seem to be in need of your help once more- I could see in his face how much he hated that. And this time again it must be bad if he’s here. I didn’t say anything so he could continue- With your scheme against Mrs. Peters, you took O’Sullivan out of power. He was already known as a gangster, but his pursuits grew with his connection to the mayor and he got arrested. It actually helped some. O’Sullivan was ruthless, and it gave me control of the Broiler

-I must imagine that control isn’t there anymore if Vera Peters cuts her rug at The Broiler- I said drinking. I found myself wondering why I was drinking only Neil’s bourbon. I decided it was because it tasted good.

-No, turns out O’Sullivan handed a lot of things over to Vera. A lot of our information, things that can compromise our business. She has complete power over the Broiler-He actually had a sad expression. I don’t think Gerald would be one to give Vera Peters power of his establishment so quickly, so I believed him. Besides, there was sincerity in his eyes.

-What is she exactly doing there?

-She wanted control of our operation. Of course at first I laughed, but with everything O’Sullivan gave her, even our businesses with my boss in New York City could be compromised. She has the power to shut us down completely. So I had to give her control of the Broiler. If she shut us down- He lowered his voice- My boss from New York would hunt me down to bump me off. We bring a lot revenue to him.

-Vera Peters in control of O’Sullivans operation sounds like the last thing we want- I sighed loudly. This woman was never going to give up was she?

Donovan chose this moment to storm into the box coming to me. He seemed to hesitate seeing Gerald, so I pulled him away from the table for a few minutes

-What on earth is going on with you? You storm in here like that and people will think we’re being raided!

-Lassie, it’s…-He handed me a newspaper- It’s fresh of de press, it’ll be out tomorrow

I looked at the front page- Mayor Adler announces marriage to Vera… Peters!

-Former prohibition officer Adler. A couple o’ years back ‘e quit the job and became dirty, which is good for our business. But from what I remember from this boyo he is ruthless. De meanest in many ways. If he was just doing his job it’d fine ‘cause he was gonna leave oehs alone. But Vera Peters seduces the man and decides to marry ‘im… Adler is known for doin’ whatever it took to protect ‘is family. A lad looks at his kids the wrong way, next thing you know the next day he mysteriously disappears.

-Vera gets protection by being in power as the mayor’s wife again, on top of being married to someone who kill for their family. And now Vera is his wife and he’d bump off anyone who dare go against her-I had to sit down and take another drink- Vera Peters is aiming to be the queen of the Chicago’s underworld, just as she tried to before trying to get me under her wing and take control of me. And now she’s ten steps ahead of us.

I handed the newspaper back to him and asked him to wait until the Ice Box was closed. I went back to Gerald and asked him to do the same.

I liked Elliot and he had helped me out, but I didn’t ask him to wait around because I knew he was a talker, the more he knew, the more dangerous it was for us.

So when the Ice Box closed everyone relevant stayed behind. Me, Vince, Cliff, Donovan, Andrew watched the door for us, Sofia and even though it wasn’t Cleo’s or Julius’ job I asked them to stay too. Uncle Charlie was home and I definitely did not want to add more into his plate while he still wasn’t totally recovered yet

Of course, Gerald was an addition-Care to fill us in why this sap is still here?-Vince pointed at O’Fallon- And why I shouldn’t give him a slug on his schnozzle, right now?!

-I’d like to see you try your wop!-Gerald said and Vince started to go up to him ready to fight. Two armed men giving me a headache once more

I put myself in between them- If you two start with the lead poisoning treatment, I’ll let you kill yourselves outside and we’ll do this without you!- I yelled at the both of them while Cliff and Donovan helped me pull them apart- Now, can it! We’re gonna need to work together on this.

-Why would we need to work together with this bog-trotter?!

-Because we have a common enemy. We need all the help we can get, Vince. Vera Peters is on the move again

-I thought she was done with-He said

-So did we- So I told the rest of them what was happening. How Vera had taken over the Broiler and managed to marry the mayor once more.

-Since she’s gone dirty, who’s saying we can’t get rid of her?

-I am Vince. Remember? We can’t kill the mayor’s wife. Besides, Donovan filled me in on how he’s got an obsession to putting family first, now Vera is part of ‘is family.

Donovan this time spoke- We kill ‘is wife and the man is gonna hunt down whoever it was till they’re six feet under.

-Vera Peters is gonna make a move on the Ice Box like she did before. She’s not gonna leave us alone- I started talking again- She tried to get Uncle Charlie killed, and threatened to put him- And Neil, but I wasn’t going to mention him- behind bars.

-Seems like we’re in hot water- Cliff said

-Change that to boiling water- Sofia said- And that’s not all, I’ve been hearing some rumors too…

This time a familiar voice, very familiar, came from the door- Vera Peter’s been hiring new muscle, she also bought a place under a laundromat and a warehouse with her husband’s money. She’s planning to open a new speakeasy.

Everyone was quiet for a second. Until Sofia spoke again

-Yes, that’s what I was going to say… She is… Expanding- I could tell she was looking at me now

My eyes were fixated on the man that stood there, tall, holding his cigarette. His icy blue eyes pierced on me. I wanted to hug and kiss him. And then I don’t know if it was pride that took over me, but my last moments in Boston played over in my head and I felt my blood boil in me, so I turned to everyone again

-It’s late, everyone, so let’s go home and sleep. Everyone needs to be here early tomorrow, at around noon. We’ll talk more about it then. Even you, Gerald.

It was the last thing I said before I grabbed my coat and walked out. I didn’t even give myself a chance to look back when I passed Neil. However when I was almost at the Studebaker I heard Neil calling my name behind me

I got into the car starting it and he just opened the door and got in the car himself

-What are you doing, Neil?! Get out of the car, I’m going home!

-I love you-He said, interrupting me- I’m sorry, MC. I’m sorry about everything just-

-Get out of my car!-I gave him the most serious and furious look I could. He was quiet for a moment, but I think he saw something in my eyes, because he left.

I started driving, and there was I crying again. I thought at least that part of it was gone. It was too much at the moment. Neil appearing out of the blue made me forget Vera Peters was ever a problem. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear him say that he loved me, or how much I missed him… How much I couldn’t deny that I was still in love with him. But I couldn’t be a fool. I just couldn’t forget everything that had happened in Boston and let him get away with it.

My nightmares about him and Lillie getting back together were over though, since he was back here. I hated the fact that it made me feel better.

I was so confused. I drove home, took a bath and surprisingly I fell asleep very quickly. I guess my body just understood how much I needed to not think about anything right now.

The next morning I woke up around ten. It still wasn’t the sleep I needed, but it was better than what I had been getting lately, besides waking up numerous times throughout the night.

I went down and Mrs. Fitz had prepared breakfast. Uncle Charlie smiled once he saw me there. I smiled back, sitting in the chair in front of him- Morning, Unc.

-Morning, young lady. You seem to be in a better mood today

-I slept better- I was getting the food set on my plate- Listen, Uncle Charlie… I wanted to talk to you about something

-Is it about Vera Peters? I saw it in the papers- He got serious- Woman is tough nut

-She’s dangerous- I said as I told him all the new information I found out yesterday, I laid it all out in a way that wouldn’t give him a heart attack- Which brings me to my point. I want you to take a trip to Columbus. Visit the family, stay safe.

-Now, listen here young lady, you want me to leave you alone?! With all of this happening?

-I won’t be alone. I have Cliff, Vince, Donovan, everyone at the box! I can trust them. She has tried to have you killed multiple times and she will try again! God, even if I happened to get hurt I’ll have Neil right by my side to…-I didn’t even realize I had said his name until I said it, this time Uncle Charlie gave me a puzzled look

-Neil…?

-He…-I lowered my eyes- Popped up at the Ice Box last night

This time he let out a laugh- I knew that sap wouldn’t disappoint me. He came back for you

-No, Uncle Charlie. Probably his bourbon or because he owes you the world or-

-He came back for you.-He said, this time he had a hand over mine

I had to change the subject or I’d start crying- Unc, please go to Columbus. When you were in the hospital, I handled Louis, I’ve dealt with Vera Peters once and I can handle her again. You, on the other hand, can’t handle any more assassinations attempts- I looked straight into his eyes- Trust me, Uncle Charlie. Let me deal with this. But to be able to do my job right, I need to know you’re safe. Besides, Poppa misses you and my sisters do too. It’d be great for you. You don’t need to worry about me

He sighed looking back- Alright, MC. I’ll go to Columbus. Seeing the girls and Edward again would be nice

I smiled- Thanks, Uncle. You leave everything to me.

That day I called Vince and Cliff, since they were basically Uncle Charlie’s kids I figured they should know he was going, it didn’t take much for them to agree it was a good idea. They came over and spent the next couple hours with us, helping us pack his bags and even taking him to La Salle station.

-I called Momma, said you should be there soon. You’re gonna be okay?-I said hugging him before he got on the train

-Yea, I can manage it just fine. You fellas take care of her- He said

They did agree and I thought about telling him I could take care of myself, but if it made him feel better I just let it be- I’ll give you a call when everything is good

And then he was off. That was a load off my shoulders. Knowing Uncle Charlie was safe made it a lot easier for me and everyone who cared about Charlie to concentrate on the problem at hand.

-Alright, fellas. To the Ice Box.

Cliff drove us there. Once we got there, everybody else from our little gang was there plus Gerald. Neil was there too, but I tried my best to ignore him. However, my mind now kept wondering back to what Uncle Charlie had said about him coming back for me. I know it was true, but there was something in me that was still allowing me to be more mad than forgiving. If I just let it all go so easily, what kind of girl am I?

-MC, what do you think?- Vince said and I was pulled out of my trance

-H-Huh?-I looked around, people were looking at me

-Are you alright, honey?- Cleo said- You’ve been looking tired these days- She said. I didn’t want her to say any more that’d trigger Neil to act all Doctor so I kept talking

-I’m fine. What was the question?

-About Vera- Cliff said this time- What are you thinking about that?

-Oh, right. I was thinking there is pros and cons. Vera Peters is in our territory now, the gangster territory. It means she is putting herself in danger too. Even though she’s protected we can allow ourselves to treat her like a gangster

-Which means…-Vince started

-She’s still the mayor’s wife. That’s her protection. We know the mayor’s her weak link and if she is not his wife, she’s in a weaker spot. However it won’t be as easy as connecting the mayor to a gangster this time

-Mayor Adler jus’ leaves the Chicago underworld alone- Donovan said- There’s nothin’ to link ‘im to any gangsters

I sighed- So we’ll have to find another way to separate the both of them. If we could discredit her somehow for the mayor to want to leave her

-Chica- Sofia said- I’ve heard the one thing mayor Adler hates the most is betrayal. He’s tough alright. Everything we’ve heard about him protecting his family is true. But if Vera betrayed him, that’s the only thing that would make him drop her and she’d lose his protection.

-Betray him? How would Vera betray him?

Neil opened his mouth for the first time- The highest betrayal to a partner is adultery

Cliff looked at him- But that’s crazy. There’s no way to make Vera Peters cheat on the mayor

-Maybe there is- I said- We can’t control what Vera does, but maybe if somebody seduced her, it’d be our best chance to have her fall to their charm and let herself go. Vera Peters left her husband in jail. She doesn’t have loyalty.

-Who in their right mind would seduce Vera Peters?-Vince asked

-It’s not about their right mind. It wouldn’t be real, first of all. They’d just seduce her enough to get her to neck, if somebody took a picture and mailed it to dear Mayor Adler…

-He’d feel extremely betrayed by her- Sofia ended it for me

-Exactly. We need someone with a cause, someone who will be close to her and spend time with her without it being suspicious.

This time everyone looked to Gerald, his eyebrows raised in surprise- Y-you…! You want me to seduce Vera Peters?

-You want to get her off your back right?- I said

-Yea but-

-No buts, Gerry. Here’s the deal. She has control of The Broiler, you work there. It means you’re already spending more time with her than anybody else in here.

-Yes, but we haven’t really exchanged kind words

-Then just soften up. Don’t just start seducing her, just give into her ways, and then the more time you spend together, do that thing where you say sweet stuff and give your looks to whatever Jane you’re trying to take to your bed that night, she’ll fall for it. Everyone knows you’re good a seducing ladies

-You think he’s a good seducer?- Neil arched his eyebrow

Donovan started talking to save me from answering that question- Yes, O’Fallon, everyone knows you got a lurid reputation with the lassies. It’s just one more lass you got ta seduce. Done that plenty o’ times

I talked again- Just until you can get her to neck with ya. Then have somebody take a picture, we take it go get printed, send it to Mayor Adler and he feels so betrayed he ends the marriage. It’d make Vera lose her power among the politicians and it’s one step closer to getting her off your back

-Alright. It’s worth a try- He said not convincingly, but judging how much he hated her, he would do it.

-Say it works- Cliff started- Vera still has control of the Broiler. Information that would compromise everyone

-Once she’s not the Mayor’s wife, she is just a gangster

-Which means…-Vince started again

-No! We don’t have to kill her, Vince- I continued- Her voice won’t be as strong, but the documents she has might still be proof against The Broiler. To get her off her position of power there completely, we need to find whatever documents she has and burn it to ash- I looked at Vince- She had this office where she used to meet with O’Sullivan. When me and… Neil… Went there we only got was the stuff that was important to us at the time, if you can sneak there and grab everything she has that is sensitive information and gives her an edge, she’d lose control of The Broiler

-You got it, boss

I continued overlooking the fact he had called me that- It seems like a good place to start. If we get the mayor to leave her, she’ll turn to Gerald because she’ll think he’s on her side. She’ll think The Broiler is her safe place. Having her trust you-I was looking at Gerald-It’s gonna give us an edge

-And then we burn those documents behind her back and she can’t have a hold of my business anymore

-Exactly

-We also have to account for one more thing-Neil said- Vera Peters might be looking to make alliances with other big names like Ferlinghetti

-I could spread some rumors about her-Sofia said- Make her look bad and dangerous to others

-Alright- I said- Seems like we have an idea of where to start. I’ll see what else I can find out

It was almost time for the Ice Box to open. Gerald left to go back to The Broiler and we opened the place

The whole night I couldn’t afford to be by myself or I knew Neil would see an excuse to come talk to me. He was watching me the whole night. Sometimes I’d see him talking to Cliff or Donovan, but I felt his lingering look on me even when I wasn’t paying attention. So I played host, danced with Vince, talked with Cliff about inventory. Always made sure I was engaged in some other activity so he didn’t have a chance to talk to me

The place was packed with people. The dance contest was off for that night, but it seemed like all of Chicago was there. I found myself in between people on the dance floor, until I felt a hand grab my upper arm and pull me. I turned around and saw Neil, in his not usual spot. I thought I’d be able to avoid him in the middle of dancing but there he was

-MC, I need to talk to you- He said loudly. He had to or I wouldn’t be able to hear due to the music, people and festivities

-I have nothing to say to you, Neil Dresner! I have work to do! You leave me be!- I yanked my arm off him

-Why are you so stubborn?!-He went after me- Just listen to me!

I swear the next thing I said was a curse word that’d make Momma pass out if she heard- I don’t want to talk to you!

-Fine. I didn’t want to have to do that, but if you won’t talk to me I have no other choice- He said with a mad but determined look on his face

I looked at him as he walked past me and onto the stage. He took the microphone from Cleo who looked just as shocked as I did, I could even see Julius astonished. The music and the band stopped. And suddenly the whole Ice Box was looking at him

Neil hates being the center of attention. What the hell is he doing?

-Alright everybody, sorry to interrupt your dancing and the music, but this will only take a minute. Besides…-He motioned to me- This seems to be the only way the Ice Box Flapper here will pay attention to me

Then the crowd parted around me and now they looked at the both of us. I could feel myself going red. I kept thinking what had gotten into his head, but I couldn’t do anything but watch. I could see the amusement on Cleo’s and Julius’ face now. I looked around quickly at the other fellas and they all looked just as amused. Of course they would! They’re not the ones being put on the spot and it’s Neil! It’s Neil standing on the stage about to give a speech. If I wasn’t in that situation I’d find it amusing!

-Everybody who knows me, knows I prefer to be left alone in my corner, in my peace and quiet, and everyone know I hate it when people pay attention to me- And it showed. I swear I could even see him blushing and all stiff and uncomfortable- But, I’m standing here today because MC told me she’d fight for me, and now I’m telling her I’d fight for her. Tooth and nails if I have to-He said repeating what I told him when I proposed. His icy blues looked deep into mine from the stage, so I couldn’t help but look right back at them- I’m an idiot and I’m sorry for hurting you… I have a box- he said pulling a little velvet black box from his pocket, opening it and holding it out to me. I was a little too far away to see much, but I could see the shine of the ring in it- The ring inside it, I picked it out myself. The day we went shopping in Boston. There was no one else in my mind but you when I picked it out.- He seemed even more nervous now, and I could tell because his breathing was rapid- You make my world brighter than I ever thought possible, and I can’t imagine going through every day without having you by my side. I love your stubbornness, all the snappy remarks you make when we’re together. I love how easy it is for people to underestimate you but you prove them wrong every time, you proved me wrong. I love how alive you look when you dance and I love how you always speak your mind. I love how strong you are and how nothing can bring you down. You surprise me every day, you’re so unexpected and everything that is you is what makes me so madly in love with you- At this point I forgot the whole Ice Box was there. It was just me on this dance floor, and Neil on that stage, singing words of love to me- And if you, MC Granger, would do me the honor of marrying me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be the man that you deserve.

A silence followed for a second while I gathered my thoughts and what I wanted to say. The whole Ice Box looked at me, but I could only focus on the man on the stage. Neil had stolen his way into my heart. Seeing him stand there just made me sure that I was completely in love with him. I wanted to be his

-Well, Doc- I started- This is the first time I’ve seen you off your seat and away from your glass of bourbon- laughter ensued- And that was a heck of a proposal…

Who was I to let pride stand in the way of my happiness, when Neil didn’t let his?

-So I’d have to say… Yes! I’ll marry you!

And then I noticed that I was in the Ice Box once more once the crowd roared and clapped. I blushed for a second but then saw Neil approaching me. He took me in his arms and kissed me passionately. I wasn’t a fool so I kissed him right back with the same intensity. It was love, it was pure love in one kiss. And suddenly it was only the two of us again.

Once we broke off, he held my hand slipping the beautiful jewel on my ring finger. It looked expensive, but I didn’t complain or anything. I laughed instead, happily. I don’t know if it was the emotion of the past few days or if the lights were too bright on my face, but when I looked up to him again, I knew I had tears running down my face.

I could feel his warm hands on my face cleaning it up- I’m sorry…-He said

I shook my head- I love you, Neil

-I love you, MC-He kissed me again and I pulled him off the dance floor

-Cliff, you think you can close tonight?-I asked once I was close enough to the bar

-You two lovebirds go ahead!- He quickly ushered us off- I’ll see you guys tomorrow

I got into the Studebaker with him and the whole time we just laughed with each other. I drove us to Uncle Charlie and since we had the houses to ourselves, soon we were in my room, then in my bed, with no clothes on.

-You can sweet talk after all-I teased him

-It wasn’t sweet talking- He was surprisingly serious- It was the truth. Of course I would’ve preferred if I could’ve said all that in private since now, I’m sure I’m going to have to deal with all the mockery, but you wouldn’t hear me out otherwise, so… I had to improvise. Can’t complain with the results

I laughed- Love makes you do strange things, don’t it?

-I need to spend less time with you- He teased right back, but this time I answered with a kiss

Everything that followed was bliss. The touches, the kisses, the movements. I was over the moon. He wasn’t gentle but he was being gentler than most nights. The desire in those days came crashing down at once, but not in a just sex mood. We had as much time as we wanted, so that night we made love. With all the electricity and wonderfulness that came with the feeling and the man on top of me, moving fast and deep, there was the feeling that we were catching up on how much we missed and loved each other. Even when ‘later’ arrived, pure contentment was still felt in the air

We fell asleep that night with our arms around each other, kissing until we were out of breath. The world outside didn’t exist. I was his and he was mine and that was the only thing that mattered.

Needless to say that was the best sleep I had that week.

1941

-Alton, are you taking these?- Neil asked the now 14-year-old boy about some candy he gave to his father to hold. They were at a drug store, Charlotte had gotten a slight cold but Neil always got so worried when any of them got sick, so he went to get more medicine.

-Yes I am, dad! Just a second!-Alton said bringing some more to Neil- These two too!

-Alright, but that’s it!- He said as he went to the cashier to pay

-Hey Pa!- a young man came running into the drug store to the cashier

-I’m working, John, later!

-Didn’t you see the papers? We were attacked, the U.S., the naval station at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii was attacked by the Japanese empire!

That got the attention of both Neil and Alton, who now looked at the young man

-What were you saying?- Neil this time asked

-It’s all over the news!- the boy John continued- They came flying and at least two-thousand Americans got killed. President Roosevelt declared war against Japan today- He looked back and forth at the three of them- The U.S.A is in a war with Japan

Neil held Alton tightly now. He had had enough of war for a lifetime. He had always assumed it was something only his generation had to go through and something his kids would never come to know. It was probably just wishful thinking

-Seems like the war to end all wars was a joke, eh?-The cashier, John’s dad mentioned- You know- He turned to Neil- I fought in the Great War.

-Dad fought in it too-Alton said before Neil could stop him

-So you know. Besides, isn’t Japan allied with that crumb dictator from Germany and Italy?- He mentioned

-Do you think this is gonna explode into a huge war?-Alton asked, with more curiosity than fear

-I think we ought to be ready

Neil grabbed the bags- Thank you- He said to them, now pulling Alton with him into the car to go home

-Are you alright?- Alton turned to him- Did it scare you?

Neil sighed, but he was close to his kids, so he talked to Alton- Yea, I’m fine, Alt. It’s just… I thought I left wars and all that in the past.

____

Author notes: Some drama heeere and back to the prohibition business!!! Next Chapter we’ll see how things are progressing with the gang’s war against Vera!! Also, we’ll start to get deeper into the wedding planning because MC and Neil are hearing the bells and they’re tying the knot pretty sooooon! Also: Hazel is coming to Chicago, like mentioned in chapter 2!

Thank you so much for reading my fanfic!! Chapter 5 is already in progress!!

Candy, My Dear Diary (5/26/2020)

#voltage usa #speakeasy tonight #voltage inc #voltage amemix #voltage games #voltage #neil dresner #lovestruck #lovestruck voltage #vince moretti #lovestruck usa #fanfic #lovestruck fanfic #lovestruck game #amemix #speakeasy #1920s

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vibranch · 5 years ago

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The Keybearer’s Keychains (1/6) - Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction

Rating: T Word Count: 2,319 AO3 link here

Summary: So many Worlds, and so many people. Each one was unique and an adventure to Sora. But one thing that was constant on his journey, was the keychains he received. An exploration of Sora's thoughts, experiences, and feelings for each keychain he received during his first journey in no particular order.

Part 1 of 6: The Jungle King, Lady Luck, and Fairy Harp Part 2

The Jungle King

This was the first Keychain Sora was gifted. At first Sora didn’t really understand what it was. A token from Tarzan to remember him by, presumably. But why a thin vine tied to a preserved butterfly?

It wasn’t until Goofy mentioned that it looked kind of like a keychain that Sora began to understand why Tarzan gave it to him.

Tarzan, being so inquisitive, was no doubt intrigued by Sora’s Keyblade. The jangling of the Keychain equipped to the bottom of it must have caught his eye in particular. So just as Sora was about to leave Deep Jungle with Donald and Goofy, Tarzan appeared and presented the, now dubbed Jungle King, keychain to him.

One day, mostly out of curiosity, Sora attached the gift to his Keyblade. He was amazed to find it had changed shape just moments after it was attached. Not only that, the very materials it was made from seemed to change too! His formerly metal weapon now seemed to have been carved from wood!

At first, Sora loved the Jungle King keychain. It served well in its duty to remind Sora of Tarzan. But after a while, and as more and more Keychains were collected, it started to become less special to him.

Especially on one day.

While attempting the Pegasus Cup, Sora felt something in his shoulder. He could feel it, small and round, moving slightly inside him as he swung his Keyblade. It made him uneasy and he couldn’t focus on the match at hand. Something the Heartless in the arena took full advantage of. He might have died, or lost his heart, had Donald and Goofy not been his side and ready to jump to his rescue.

“What is this thing,” Sora complained after the match, poking at it gingerly. It seemed to be buried underneath a messy scar.

It took Donald a minute, but eventually he recognized it. “It’s a bullet. Remember? When we fought Clayton and he shot you?”

That’s right… Sora hadn’t known cure yet. So when Donald instinctively cast the spell on Sora, the wound must have healed over the bullet. It was the first actual gun Sora had ever seen. Nothing like Leon’s Gunblade. Sora thought Clayton used some kind of magic when he’d gotten hit by it.

Looking at his collection of Keychains, the Jungle King stood out to him for all the wrong reasons now. Just a little closer to the center of his body and Sora would be dead now. Not a Heartless, just dead. And so close to what he could now realize was only the beginning of his adventure.

Too often, just the sight of Jungle King Keychain reminded Sora of Clayton and the bullet lodged in his shoulder, and not his friend Tarzan. And so, it was the first Keychain that Sora decided to retire. Left to sit in a drawer in his room onboard the Gummi Ship.

The first to be given, and the first to be given up.

The Lady Luck

“Is that… A playing card?” Donald raised an eyebrow as Sora pulled the object out from the chest.

“Not just any playing card, it’s the Ace of Hearts.” Goofy answered. “Say, uh, is it weird that a playing card is the last thing I’d expect to find on this world?” Goofy asked, scratching the side of his head with one finger.

Sora had to agree with him. Despite long since accepting that Wonderland was more a land of oddities than wonder, Sora certainly didn’t expect to find an actual playing card in this world. What would the Queen of Hearts or any of the playing card soldiers have to say if they saw him with this?

Feeling the card, it was made of the same materials as the rest of the card soldiers. Sora had learned what they felt like after shoulder bashing one of them, back when he was trying to help Alice get out of her cage.

A chill ran up Sora’s spine. Was this card the Wonderland equivalent of walking around with a toy soldier, or a shrunken head? Maybe a toy soldier made of human flesh?

Sora shook his head, hoping he could shake out these thoughts. He felt like he’d finally found something that would disturb the people of this world as he tucked it into his pocket.

“Best to not let anyone from around here see this,” Sora said

With not much to do with a single playing card, Sora fashioned it into a Keychain for him to use. Wielding the Keyblade with it, Sora felt like he had all the magic of Wonderland on his side as he fought. Not even the Spellbinder keychain that Merlin gave him compared to the magic inside this form the Keyblade took.

“It’s almost like Lady Luck was lookin’ out for ya when you found it!” Goofy said as they walked back to the Gummi Ship.

Indeed. If it hadn’t been for that Trinity mark on the ground, Sora would have passed right by it. Just as he’d done every other time he’d gone to Wonderland.

“You might be right.” Sora said as he took another look at it. “In fact, you might have even come up with a good name for it, too!”

“Gwarsh, I did?” Goofy exclaimed. “What’d I call it?!”

Sora looked at the new form the Keyblade had taken. Lady Luck.

The Fairy Harp

There were two interesting aspects about this keychain. First, it was the last Keychain Sora had received as a gift from visiting a brand new world. The second interesting aspect was that he’d gotten it from Tinker Bell instead of Peter Pan.

Sora expected some sort of charm or trinket from Peter as goodbye. Most places he went to, where he made new friends, usually ended that way. But Peter surprised him.

“Oh, boy. She’s gettin’ steamed again. Do me a favor. Look after her for me, will ya?”

It took Sora a moment to realize he was talking about Tinker Bell. “What?!” Sora gaped at the ridiculous request. His parents back on the Islands wouldn’t even trust him with a pet, much less a fairy.

She’s a person, right? Just very small and can fly. Is Tinker Bell even okay with this? Sora thought to himself.

But Tinker Bell was a jealous fairy, specifically of Peter and Wendy, and she must have thought Peter would get just as jealous as her if she went traveling the worlds with another boy.

At least that’s what Sora assumed. He couldn’t understand Tinker Bell’s fairy speak. So, any attempt at communicating with her left him feeling like he was talking to a ringing bell.

Regardless of if her ploy worked, Tinker Bell took some insurance with her.

Peter Pan’s signature red feather.

She stole it right off the top of his hat as she flew into the Gummi Ship. No one even noticed until they were halfway to Traverse Town.

Onboard the Gummi Ship, Sora studied the red feather. Realizing that he could turn it into a keychain, Sora got to work affixing a makeshift chain to it from parts he’d bought from Donald’s nephews.

The group watched with excitement as the Keyblade changed shape. All of them waiting in anticipation on what kind of form would it take.

The form it decided on was closer to a Key-tooth pick than a Keyblade. The thing was tiny, and Donald raised an eyebrow at it. “You sure you can fight with that?”

“Uhh, shouldn’t be too big of a deal.” Sora said. The Keyblade had taken many shapes and lengths before, but usually it kept his foes at greater distance away than this. “Peter could fight just fine with his dagger. Maybe it’s length is in reference to that.”

Donald spun in his chair to resume piloting the Gummi Ship. “If you say so. But you’d better practice with it before you take it to someplace with any real danger.”

Sora made a pouty face at the back of Donald’s head. “I’ll be just fine using the Keyblade in this form.”

Stepping in before anymore tension could grow, Goofy spoke up. “Whaddya want to call it?” Goofy asked. Ever the fun one, Goofy kept Sora company on the long flight back as they tossed names back and forth.

Deciding on the name Fairy Harp, Sora ultimately didn’t use this keychain very much. Firstly because, as Donald suspected, it was too small. On more than one occasion, Sora would fall flat on his face as he tried to fight with it.

Sora was so used to throwing all his weight behind his moves that when he switched to the Fairy Harp and his swing came up short, the momentum behind each swing would often cause Sora to fall on his face. A fact Donald found hilarious. Sora, less so.

The second reason being that Tinker Bell missed Peter more than she wanted to let on. Often when Sora went to grab the feathered keychain, Tinker Bell had already taken it from his room and flown off with it to someplace inside the Gummi Ship.

On the days where Sora was determined to use the Fairy Harp, he’d track her down and find her huddled with it, thinking of Peter and the secret hideout filled with all the Lost Boys.

Not that she could tell that to Sora. Only Peter Pan could understand her fairy speak. And she didn’t want to appear ungrateful at the opportunity to visit other worlds with this unlikely trio, but sometimes she couldn’t help herself from getting like this.

Fortunately, Sora could recognize the feelings of missing home, even if they couldn’t be said out loud. So even when he was determined to use the Fairy Harp, if he found that Tinker Bell had taken it for herself then Sora would let her have it.

Ultimately, Tinker Bell was far more useful as a companion than any single keychain would be on their journey. With Donald’s help she’d learned to preform Cure magic, and the mage even taught Sora how he to summon her from within the Gummi Ship for moments when they needed her help.

Sora looked over at the tiny fairy hovering between him and Peter Pan. As if sensing his gaze, she turned from the conversation she was having with Peter to look back at him.

Now that they had finally tracked down and defeated the Heartless they’d dubbed ‘The Phantom’, there wasn’t much reason to stick around on this World. But still, there was one more thing he had to do before leaving this world again.

“Ready to go home, Tinker Bell?” Sora offered. Fully expecting her to get excited and maybe wish him a farewell in those ringing tones he’d gotten used to hearing.

Instead, the small glowing fairy floated up to Sora’s eye level and stomped her foot against nonexistent ground as shook her head firmly.

“No? But I thought you missed home?” Sora was confused. Tinker Bell seemed so excited to be back when their Gummi Ship pulled into her home World.

She seemed to be trying to explain herself, but once again Sora couldn’t understand a word of her bell-like fairy speak.

“It sounds like she wants to make sure you’re okay for the last leg of your journey,” Peter translated. He floated down from the top of Big Ben and listened to Tinker Bell go on. “I don’t really understand most of it, she’s talkin’ ‘bout a lot of people I’ve never met. But she really wants to help when you take on some guy called Ansem.”

Sora looked back at Tinker Bell still floating in front of his face, just as she did when Peter first asked him to take her along with him.

Tinker Bell said more that Sora couldn’t understand, but fortunately Peter was still there to translate.

“Don’t forget, the Princesses said that once all the worlds are restored everyone will be returned to their original world. I’ll still be able to go home.”

Peter stopped translating and moved closer to talk to Tinker Bell directly. “Hey Tink, it sounds like Sora’s going to be facing some real tough challenges. You take care of him okay?”

Tinker Bell nodded.

“Pack them some extra pixie dust, just in case!”

Tinker Bell rolled her eyes but smiled as well. It wasn’t like Peter to get overprotective. Maybe fighting the Phantom with Sora and the others was making him more worried than usual? Regardless, Tinker Bell said one more thing to Peter before flying over and taking her place next to Sora, Donald, and Goofy.

“Hey, Sora,” Peter called out as the group started moving to the Gummi Ship. “Tink says that you’re her friend, so she wants you to call her Tink as well. Y’know, just like me!”

Sora looked at the little fairy. Sora chuckled slightly and smiled at her. “Tink, huh? No problem!

Sora and Tinker Bell watched from inside the cockpit of the Gummi Ship as Peter waved goodbye to them. “Hey Tink! When you get back, me and all the Lost Boys are going to throw you a big welcome home party! So, make sure you’re prepared to tell us lots of stories when you get back!

Tinker Bell nodded from behind the glass and watched him continue to wave goodbye until even the smallest green speck of him was gone.

Sora looked at the fairy and cracked a smile. “Hey, Tinker Bell- I mean Tink…” Tinker Bell turned away from the glass that separated everyone in the cockpit from Gummi Space. “Thanks for coming with us.”

She shined a little brighter and smiled back at him.

“And I hope you’re prepared for the last leg of our journey, because I think we’ll be needing your help.”

This time she smirked and gave him a confident nod.

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts fanfiction #sora #Donald Duck #Goofy #Kairi #fan fiction #My Writing

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brokenclockwork · 5 years ago

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⌘⌘

Send ‘⌘’ to hear my muse’s father or father-figure talk about the muse.

“Got two of these so I guess I’ll talk about two of my boys?” The old faunus takes a swig from the bottle, as he debates where to start. When did he gt so many damn kids?

“Ozpin always had a thing for...I don’t wanna say trash, but...” there really wasn’t a better word, was there? “He came to me with this old book o’ fairytales that was more tape than cover, and had a coffee stain through about half the pages. He had a soft spot of things that people threw away. Got real good at fixin’ stuff, through that stubborn soft heartedness.” He shook his head, but despite his tone, the smile on his face was genuine.

“Things, and people I suppose. He was always feedin’ strays. Caused Beacon to have a bit of a cat problem for a few years there, but it did help with student stress levels, so I let it go.” It was, in no way, because he didn’t have the heart to have them removed. He could have at any time. “There’s always been this...soft optimism in him, that lets him see the best in people, even when they can’t an...that kinda faith changes people’s lives. Especially when they ain’t used to bein’ looked at like that.”

Now, who next?

( @livestosave ) “Bartholomew is fuckin’ brilliant. Gettin’ to listen to that boy talk is a pleasure, and what I’d give to be able to understand how his mind works. Never, in all my years, have I seen someone with such a hunger for knowledge. I’ve seen him lose days to old treaties and the way his eyes lit up the first time I told him to go wild in the history section of our favorite book shop was beautiful.” Despite his best efforts, the old general’s own eyes softened at the memory. “If the rest of the world was willin’ to look at the past with a fraction of the drive that boy has, we would be miles past where we are, because we wouldn’t be wastin’ so much time stumblin’ over the same damn stones in the road.

“And more than he’s genius? He’s strong. That boy is made of steel. The things he’s gone through, and he stays kind. He stays good. He doesn’t let it twist him into what hurt him, even though things would have probably been a hell of a lot easier for him if he did. Instead, he focuses on doing what’s right, and makin’ the world better.”

He takes another long drink, before resigning himself with a simple, “Fuck it.”

“I’ve spent a century on this damned, goddless rock. I spent years protectin’ the man who designed the huntsman an’ huntress system, and taught generations of those that took up that call, but I’ve never met someone with even half as much drive to protect people as James. Since Alfred took him in, he was always so...aware of people that couldn’t protect themselves, and made it his job to do somethin’ about it when they were bein’ mistreated.

“It was a bit of a game between Alfred and I, figurin’ out which guests had upset the staff at parties, by seein’ who found their wallet missin’ by the end of the night. An’ then during our first school break together, Ozpin got overwhelmed by somethin’ and before I could do anything- before we had even noticed something was wrong- James was there, curled around him like some kind of guard dog. Didn’t matter that Alfred and I were trusted adults. We were too much, and we needed to get the hell out of there, because he was not lettin’ us any closer until Oz was ready.” A low chuckle escaped his lips at the memory, warm and fond. The fact that James hadn’t had any of his bulk or size at that point went unmentioned.

“Then there’s Peter. I would of apologized to his parents for him takin’ so much after me if he wasn’t so damn incredible. You’ll struggle to find anyone on the planet as willin’ to fight as he is, but he’s not violent. He’s not cruel. He’s a protector to the bone, and a hell of a lot smarter than anyone gives him credit for. The information he’s collected on grimm is invaluable, even if too much of the huntsman community is too damn hard headed to realize it.

“And another thing people don’t give him enough credit for? How patient he is. Not only does his studies require that, but he put up with a hell of a lot on his team.” The old bird still remembered how sad he’d been to tell his nephew that his original partner wasn’t returning for second year. “OPOL had it’s fair share of quirks, but he’s been an absolute champ workin’ with them. Especially when his own personality and quirks crashed against his team’s comfort.”

And that just left...

( @couplct ) “Lavender was so damn stupid, and I loved the hell out of her.” If the laugh that follows the words is somber, and he takes another drink...well, he hardly thinks anyone can blame her. “That girl found herself surrounded by prodigies, some of which were already famous in their own right, and her response was to mother hen the hell out of them. She bled loyalty, and loved like a wildfire,” and it killed her.

“She was fearless to the point of reckless, and thrust herself into lookin’ after people with a passion and honest care that made up for how clumsy it could be. She was a true huntress, to her core, and the world’s poorer for her loss.”

#headcanon #somehow this turned into lovin' liz hour lol #the old bird has feelings #livestosave #Anonymous

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everly-kindred · 5 years ago

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Eve’s Diary - Entry #53

Date: 12th of March, 2027

Dear Diary,

I’m trying to write in you more frequently, like I said I would, so here we go!

I wanna say first off that I did a big tarot reading like I said I would, since Ostara is coming, in precisely a week! But I’ll put my translation of the cards down at the bottom, after I write about everything else.

I’ve been having a lot of dreams about frogs lately, and it reminded me of when my Gran took me to this rose garden. There were this big stone rings, like giant hag stones, and my Gran told me they’re called fairy stones and that hag stones can be held up to your eye, and if you look through the hole, you’ll see faeries. She’s a muggle, and that’s a legend that has existed for centuries, for them.

I wonder if they really do see faeries… What happens if a muggle comes across a faerie? Like… our kind of faeries? I should ask the Care of Magical Creatures professor next chance I get.

Anyways, this garden was sort of a like… loop within a circle shape, with little bridges going over these ponds with fountains, and the whole thing was surrounded by a little stone wall, and filled with benches and rose bushes and little trees. It was a tiny park, but beautiful. And I remember there were so many frogs, and I spent ages trying to catch one, while my Gran relaxed on a bench and read her book. Sometimes she’d stop and laugh at me, though, especially when I almost slipped in the pond for probably the tenth time that day. It was a good day.

Did you know that frogs lay eggs and the eggs float in clusters on top of the water? I wonder what would have happened if I scooped up some of the eggs and water and kept it in a jar… It was this weird, greenish yellow slime, with little black dots in each center. I think tadpoles are rather cute, actually.

Well, my frog dreams reminded me of that. I still need to ask Gallo what it means. Maybe it’s just because it’s been getting warmer? The snow and ice has started melting, and it’s been looking like it might rain.

I’ve been doing watercolors and sketches, and I’ve thought about getting on my broom and flying high enough that I could sketch all of Hogwarts. I think that’d be a rather magnificent experience, don’t you? Terrifying, too. I’d want someone else there to catch me if I lose balance and fall. It’d likely be best done on an extra thick, sturdy broom.

The other thing that’s been really pressing on my mind lately is the gold cauldron in the potions shop, in Hogsmeade. I can’t remember if I’ve already written about that in you, but I’ve been daydreaming about it for months! Well, I day dream about a lot of things - wand making, bread… well, baking it and other things, the stories I want to write, making cute music boxes… But the gold cauldron especially! I want to save up for it, which would be very rewarding… It would also be rewarding to win it in some sort of competition, though.

Though, the fountain outside of the Great Hall was sort of… whispering to me in a weird way. Like, I was drawn to it. So I took my last galleon and I wished for the gold cauldron! I hope it was worth it… I was also kind of thinking about rabbits and fairies at the time too, though, so I hope I didn’t muddle it up.

Something odd and… kind of nice happened the other night, which motivated me. I was running from Peeves (he was trying to dump mud on me) when I ducked into the dueling room, and came across one of the girls in the dueling club there. Her name is Briony Boggs, and she’s a Gryffindor. We got to talking, and she told me how my wand needs me for guidance, and I have to lead it. That I need to be confident with it for my spells to go off, and if I think I’ll fail, I will. So I’ve been trying to change the way I think about things ever since.

As far as what’s actually been happening in school, I’ve been going to my classes like normal. Though, of course, classes aren’t normal by usual standards. Something weird is always happening, but that’s just how it goes isn’t it? The ravenclaw boys were fainting in herbology… I think they don’t wear their earmuffs on purpose when handling mandrakes. I successfully cared for this plant called moly, though! I didn’t overwater them and I wasn’t too rough with them or anything!

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, we talked about different subjects and how they might be used in defending oneself from dark wizards. My anxiety was too high during that class, though, I didn’t hear much of what was said and I don’t remember a whole lot of what I did process. Basically, as soon as I walked in, Vikander told me to stay after class. I thought it might’ve been because of my clothes, because we had a really odd notice from him to wear house pride stuff instead of uniform and… some people wore uniform and said it’s because they were told by him to be careful of sudden odd changes of behaviour… or something like that.

Anyways, it wasn’t about that, though. He wanted to ask me about my vision. So I went up to his office, and the Healer and one of the Phoenix girls were there, Nicole I think. And he took off his glove which seemed to be like… alive or something. And his hand was all burned but I did my best not to stare. Then he put his hand on my head and asked me to think about the memory of the vision very clearly, so I did. I guess he has some sort of… mind reading magic when he touches people’s heads? I dunno. I got hot chocolate out of it, though. So that was cool. I wonder what he thought of the vision… How he felt when he saw what I saw, especially the part with him in it.

I went to dragonology, and we talked about how dragons are similar to seekers - specifically Viktor Krum. I was a bit distracted, though. Did I mention that Professor Eastwood’s eyes are orange? It’s the most… unique eye colour I’ve ever seen! And, I mean, Blightly’s eye is all red and scarred, and Dracheblume has purple eyes… Plus there are a few people with two different coloured eyes at the school, too. But his are orange and like… glowing.

In Artificer club we made a thing called a PMRA which is this like phonograph with legs and it moves and dances around and plays music and can record stuff for you! We built them and then Bonnie cast the spells for me to enchant mine, and also Marigold and this Gryffindor boy named August’s.

You can feed the PMRA sheet music or give it records to play. I went to the music room and grabbed some sheet music for Celestina Warbeck and the Weird Sisters, and also some of the Beetles and Peter Paul and Mary… Oh, also the Mamas and the Papas. It’d be cool to build up a music collection for it!

For now mine sits by my dorm bed, and I have it play music very quietly for me at night. Someone in the dorms is a bit of a snor-er and someone else talks in their sleep… I’ve been told I also talk in my sleep. Well, mutter more like. But occasionally I’ll be sleeping and then some girl a few beds away from me will start muttering strange things like… especially food related things. She must dream about lasagna an awful lot.

There've been some glitter pranks around the school, too. If you step on a trigger on the ground, you get splashed with this powder paint, and it gets everywhere and passes so easily onto other people, so some students (lookin’ at you, Peach) will go around and purposefully try to spread it. I think it’s funny, even if it’s messy, but when have I ever been a stranger to messiness? Most of my clothing is covered in paint stains…

It’s funny timing, though, because the ministry is now in the school. They’re investigating the forest. Apparently, a bunch of students were caught there, and now there’s all these aurors and occasionally Minister Merriwether walking around. The scary thing, though, is that apparently they’re putting a barrier up around the school, and if you cross it, you’ll… disintegrate? I wonder if that’s painful… I imagine so. I hope the animals know to stay away from it.

Anyways, that’s all I can think of to catch you up on, so that means it’s tarot reading time. I think I’ve done this spread before, perhaps last spring? It’s a six card spread and you make it in the The first card asks what I ‘need to decay’ or rather what I need to let go of. For this, I drew the Emperor. While he represents masculinity and a leader, he also represents a giver of sorts… So either there is a masculine presence in my life that I need to let go of, or I need to stop… providing for other people? I don’t know. This one didn’t make sense to me. I’ll have to think about it. I don’t think I’m particularly giving, and if I am, I don’t see how I’d be too giving…

Second one asks what will ‘fertilize me’ which actually means what do I need to learn from. I drew the five of swords reversed. This card, in reverse, would mean something like the desire to be mean, maybe because of wounded pride. So perhaps I am to learn from a moment in which I wanted to be mean instead of kind? Maybe it means I need to learn from any desire I might have to act when I’m angry. I’m not sure. I’ll keep it in mind though and treat it like a warning for the future.

For the third card, it asks what will ‘nourish me’ which is what I can look forward to. I drew the Chariot. The Chariot is a card of control and victory so… I’ll try not to jump to conclusions or assumptions about what that means and jinx myself. (butboydoIsurehopeit’stalkingaboutquidditch)

The fourth card asks how I ‘burst forth from the earth’ or rather what seeds I should plant for the future. For this, I drew the Magician. I’ve had this card before, and it seems like it shows up a lot in my readings. So as we know, this means power, concentration, dedicating myself. Focusing on strengthening my… smarts and wisdom and stuff. So the seeds I should plant are the seeds of learning, which makes a lot of sense since… I’m in school and all that.

As for the fifth card, it asks how I ‘grow tall’ which means what skills I should be focusing on and improving. The deck gave me the ten of swords. This card is a card of deep suffering and sadness, so if I’m needing to focus on a skill and building on it, perhaps it should be the skill of… healthily expressing sadness? I guess I do bottle stuff up sometimes.

And finally the sixth card asks how I will ‘blossom’ or rather where I need balance, and for this, I drew the nine of wands reversed. This card is a card of encouragement, confidence, and facing down fear, so maybe it’s telling me that I need to balance out my anxieties and my defeated attitude with bravery and courage. So that I am realistic and honest with myself, but also willing to take a risk and push myself to my full… potential?

Anyways that’s my reading. It felt good to get back into it and do a big one for once. I’ve just been pulling one card or doing three card readings everyday or every other day. My back hurts from sitting over my diary and writing, so I think I’m gonna lay down and go to bed.

Much love, Everly

[ Eve’s Wiki Page ]

[ Flickr ]

#harry potter #hufflepuff #diary #witch #magic #magical #witchy #witchcraft #hogwarts #journal #SecondLife #second life #mischief managed

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ohpenelopes · 5 years ago

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i mean i could be aesthetic but instead i'm just pathetic

ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PENELOPE “PENNY” BROWN-PATIL from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of LAVENDER BROWN and PARVATI PATIL? Only 21 years old, this HUFFLEPUFF alumni works as a BARISTA and is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SELF-PITYING, A PERFECTIONIST, and INSECURE but also FLEXIBLE, GENTLE and IMAGINATIVE.

LINKS – pinboard, stats. CHARACTER PARALLELS – jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ), chloe gemell ( my mad fat diary ), mini mcguinness ( skins uk ), engel beekman ( skam nl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), emaline ( everything sucks! ), gretchen wieners ( mean girls ), caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries -- earlier seasons ), kelly kapoor ( the office ) AESTHETIC – star shaped hoop earrings, drawing hearts all over your notes, needle pricked finger tips, unapologetic femininity, a loud and cheerful laugh echoing through a hallway, pinky promises, heart shaped sunglasses hiding hungover stained eyes, movie nights with popcorn and rose wine, drowning in the sea of your own thoughts HEADS UP – this intro has mentions of anxiety, but i’ve marked all of these with a trigger warning! <3

backstory ( 2008 - 2026 )

penny is born penelope lyra brown-patil --- penelope, for the woman who not only waited faithfully for her husband’s return for years, but who tricked many man in the process; lyra, for the constellation (because the stars are so wise) --- and as the second (and eventual middle) child to lavender and parvati

and she grows up happy. her childhood is peaceful and wonderful, filled with fun days and laughter. there’s not much out of the ordinary --- it’s stable and beautiful, and penny longs for those days quite a lot.

at some point, she learns of the things her parents went through at school, about war and rebellion and fear. penny admires her mothers more than anything --- she’s scared of this world, of this past, but she’s filled with admiration and a bit of fear that she won’t be able to live up to that. (she doesn’t have to, of course --- there’s no pressure or reason to, but still; she wonders about it, and she can’t shake the thought.)

anxiety tw | though life was stable and good, penny has always felt very uncertain about ... everything. insecurity has never been a stranger to her, nor has anxiety or pressure. she has high expectations of herself, expecting nothing short of the best --- and when she failed as a child (whether it was in playing quidditch on toy brooms or when drawing or when trying to sing perfectly), she would throw tantrums. she got help for this as a child after she had her first full-blown anxiety attack, but it never really faded. | end of tw

her interests as a child mostly range from princess stories to drawing elaborate things to cutting out pretty outfits from fashion magazines. she’s gentle and quiet and excitable when she wants to be, a whirlwind of pink and smiles and tangled long hair

at hogwarts, penny is sorted in hufflepuff (though the hat did consider ravenclaw) for her spirit. she doesn’t mind not being a gryffindor like her parents once were (or, at least, she doesn’t later on; at first it just seems like an affirmation that she’s not as brave as they are), likes how yellow compliments her eyes and fits in quite nicely among the puffs.

anxiety tw | teenagedom is a tough time for her. it seems like everyone is able to juggle it all, and then there’s penny: unable to keep up good grades and look pretty and have an exciting social life and have enough sleep. she feels like she’s drowning in all the expectations she has for herself, feels like she’s the only one on this world who is suffering (she’s prone to a woe is me mentality, for sure) and so hides it all behind perfectly curated smiles. her insecurity has always been strong, but it grows. she drowns them out by pretending. end of tw

in those years, she should be learning who she is, but in stead, penny learns how to be what others want. she shifts and shapes and bends herself to match others expectations --- she’s loud and funny and excitable among her peers, grinning widely and flipping her hair, appearing confident and extroverted and completely at ease. sometimes she’s quieter, a more gentle and softer being, lovely and quaint. she’s a model student (minus the amazing grades) to her teachers, a kind older housemate to the first years, a tough bitch when situations call for it. and sometimes it feels genuine, this person she’s showing off, and sometimes it all feels like a play. it depends, on her mood, on the role, on the weather, on the stars.

and you know what? it works. for most of the time. and then sometimes, it doesn’t, and there’s nothing to do but cry endless tears in her bed and be the most melodramatic person in the castle. alcohol tw | this happens when she’s drunk most of the time, to be honest --- penny is such a messy drunk. end of tw

penny also developed a taste for fuckboys during this time. she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be touched, to be desired, and part of her was desperate --- but that didn’t make it okay for guys to treat her that way, period. i would get into this more but i don’t feel comfy about doing that akdjssdf.

when she turned fourteen, she got a sewing machine for her birthday. the next schoolyear, she dragged the thing behind her into the castle, unable to part from it after a summer of sewing. penny had always been interested in fashion, but now she was able to take it to the next level.

the dream to become a fashion designer grows and grows and grows, and penny is quite handy with the sewing machine, and her designs aren’t half bad, but of course it’s a stupid dream --- because penny doesn’t believe in herself, not yet at least.

post-graduation life ( 2026 - now )

penny graduated with one ambition only (see above) and no faith in herself. she became a barista, telling herself that she would work on her self esteem, that she would build herself up and become stronger and ready, that she would work on her portfolio and her design skills and that she would practice and work hard and ... that’s where she’s been for the past few years.

not much has changed, to be honest. penny still feels like that lost teenager, and in a certain sense she is --- she has just gained a slight bit of maturity, has moved out and has started working. her sense of self is still incredibly fragile, as is her self esteem, and while she’s trying to improve it, she just hasn’t found the right way to.

she feels so stuck. she feels so frozen. she feels like she has no clue who the hell she is, and she doesn’t know what to do about changing that. another part of her doesn’t even want to be thinking about these things, and just wants to have some fun --- once penny graduated, she definitely started partying more sfksjdfhsdkjfh. party girls dont get hurt!!!!! and like, on one hand, that’s all completely fine, because this is the time for fun and self discovery, and who says you can’t do both?

the timeclash kind of turned everything upside down. it did for everyone, i imagine, but that’s not really how penny sees it (woe is me! why does everything bad always happen to me!!). she’s so scared sakjdf. scared to see her parents and to be a Big Disappointment because she’s scared of the fact that there’s suddenly a war (like, what the fuck?), because she doesn’t want to fight, because she doesn’t even know how to fight!!!

she’s a coward lmao, but a coward with Standards (lookin at you peter)

i mean, if it came down to it --- if she had to protect her friends or family --- she would fight, of course. she’s just not very good at combatical magic, or at strategy, or at anything war or rebellion-related, really (except for smuggling booze into hogwarts, i guess, but that’s something of the past). and that’s fine, if you ask me, but penny doesn’t think it is --- but that doesn’t mean she’s going to push herself to be braver or to do more

personality & details

jfc i rambled so much up there, time to get a bit more coherent up in this BITCH

penny is such a mess. i have a hard time talking about her sometimes because she’s so messy and because her mood and her energy fluctuate so much --- she can be high energy and extroverted one moment, and completely down and sad the other.

did i ... project myself .... onto penny? maybe. partly.

she’s a bit of a chameleon, really. she’s very adaptable and flexible and willing to change for the comfort of others, and she thus feels like she has a small sense of self. this is true, to a certain extent. i think she’s too focused on finding herself that she doesn’t see that she’s already found herself a little, that there are parts of her that are genuine. she’s so hard on herself, expects so much, she’s just ... completely blinded by her own doubts, tbh.

and she’s def a sad bitch and a messy bitch, but she’s so much fun. god. penny just loves laughing and being happy and doing fun and cute stuff! she likes good things! so much! she tries to be such an upbeat person and she can be and agh. i love her like that.

such a romantic. pls stop her. her idea of love makes her so blind and deaf and she always falls for dumb boys :( but skfjshdf she just loves romance! and romantic comedies! and romance novels (tho she struggles to focus on books properly, ngl) and just ... pink hearts and all that fuzzy stuff

when she got her job as a barista, all she thought was that it might just bring her the perfect coffee shop romance

she’s an idiot

she usually just goes by penny, but not because she dislikes the name penelope --- she thinks it’s a really neat name, to be honest (a bit poetic and mysterious), but penny has just been her nickname for so long that she doesn’t want to make people call her penelope. BUT she does want to be referred to as penelope when she gets famous, thank you very much.

regarding that: penny wants to be famous dskfjhdsf. a famous designer, of course --- but she just likes the idea of fame altogether as well!!!

she takes that dream and ambition seriously, in a way. she plans to take serious steps soon (but she’s been saying that for years), always waiting until she feels ready to put herself out there. the idea of being rejected is just ... massive. the idea of not succeeding, of flopping, is so terrifying, that she prefers sticking with her dead-end job, for now. she has been sewing a lot after graduation, and i imagine she constructs a fair amount of her outfits herself (and does the same for friends), but that’s it, and she’s such a Coward about it

when she buys fashion magazines, she always gets two copies so she can use one for cutouts so she can make collages and moodboards

aEsThEtIc QuEeN!!!!

no really though, she has such a good sense for aesthetics. knows what colours and fabrics and prints mesh well together, always looks on Point, etcetera.

idk what to say this intro is such a gd mess bc i wrote everything from scratch and i kept changing my mind about things and while penny is a Very old muse, i changed a LOT oops!!!

#quantum intro #alcohol tw #anxiety tw

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tippitv · 6 years ago

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TippiTV liveblog: Supernatural 14.05 “Nightmare Logic”

The part that takes the longest in doing my traditional recaps is coming up with images, captions, and making all that stuff with my very old and slow computer. So, since I'm behind on those, I decided to just do this one as a liveblog, sort of. I typed all this in while watching the recorded episode and didn't go back to edit, in order to preserve the "live" part of liveblogging as much as possible.

Okay the THEN! makes it seem like there’s something wrong about Maggie, the girl from the apocalypse dimension whose name I can never remember. Also apparently Michael went around dressed like James Bond at a baccarat tournament and made a deal with werewolves. I just realized there’s still that episode I haven’t seen yet.

Maggie’s in a cemetery in Oklahoma. She pauses outside a mausoleum to vlog for a moment. I knew there was something wrong w/ her! She’s a YouTuber!

Oh she’s off hunting a possible ghoul by herself. That seems unwise.

So she’s in this mausoleum and as soon as the camera frames her on the left side of the screen I’m pretty sure a monster is gonna pop up on the right. Oh no it’s Peter Boyle! Peter, no!

TITLE CARD

Sam’s at the bunker talking to some of the apoca-hunters like he’s their professor. He’s like [insert THE MORE YOU KNOW gif here]

Dean lightly teases him about it. Sam says there are currently SIXTEEN HUNDRED OPEN CASES

Oh wait no he said sixteen hunters on cases. Lol. Oh also Maggie wasn’t vlogging. Hunters are using bodycams now. That was not a bodycam but whatever.

Wtf why was Maggie out officially hunting a ghoul by herself? Don’t they remember a ghoul killed their half brother?

Lol no they don’t. Dean’s trying to convince Sam they don’t know for sure that Maggie’s dead. “Ghouls don’t usually feed on the living.” Lololol.

The bros go to Oklahoma and check out the mausoleum. “Check it out,” Dean says, pointing out some drag marks on the floor. “Drag marks,” Sam says as if he knows in a tv show where people might not know what Dean was talking about.

They get found out by the groundskeeper but manage to bs something about being from the historical preservation blah blah and they’d like to talk to the owner. The owner’s thrilled to hear from them but har har, Mary and Bobby are already there having used the same bs story.

All that tech Sam has to keep track of the hunters and this still happened? Oh the guy I thought was the owner is actually the owner’s nurse. He has that Blatantly Comedic Facade that bad guys on this show frequently have so I’m calling him as a ghoul now.

The owner, hooked up to life support machines and getting a blood transfusion looks just like the guy from Maggie’s video. This alarms the Winchesters. I mean, maybe it’s just family resemblance or the fact that ghouls can imitate people. Like their half-brother.

Poor Maggie’s chained up somewhere, getting the blood drained out of her.

The guy’s daughter shoos them all away. As they confab outside, they decide he’s not a ghoul because Bobby “checked him for bite marks.” Like… even his ass? You can’t have possibly checked him everywhere.

Bobby’s mad at Sam for letting Maggie go on a hunt like this alone. Everyone splits up to look for Maggie. Oh no I think Sam and Mary are about to have an awkward talk about how she and Bobby aren’t boning like she’d expected.

“Bobby’s got balls, big ones,” she says. Oh shit.

Oh thank fuck I think she actually said he's got big walls. He's closed off and not wanting to talk about what's bothering him. Blah blah stuff about emotions and caring about stuff. Mary and Sam find a pile of old clothes and fake IDs in the woods at the same time Bobby and Dean find a serial killer shack. I mean, it's full of like pelts and bones and I've seen enough Hannibal episodes to know that means nothing good. Oh look there's a guy on the floor and he's the one in the fake IDs. Is he dead?

Bobby runs off to chase someone he sees in the woods. As soon as Dean turns around, the dead guy from the tomb attacks him. He looks less like Peter Boyle now that I see him in the light. Dean stabs him and he explodes into a cloud of dust.

The dead guy's daughter hears some creaking around in the house and goes to investigate. Some Nosferatu lookin' dude jumps out at her, but disappears after she trips.

"It looked like a vampire," she tells Sam and Mary after the commercial break. How did they know to go back to the house? The daughter's just as confused as I am. I should have paid attention to these people's names but oh well. Sam and Mary confess they hunt monsters. They should have like a little laminated fact sheet they can hand out to people.

They decide that something is hunting hunters on the property. Sam and Dean talk over some old episodes while they try to figure out what they're dealing with and come up with some kind of psychic manifestations from the dad in the coma.

Oh now Bobby's gone missing. Mary runs outside to look for him.

Sam and Dean were gonna go upstairs to the attic but for some reason Dean took a detour to have a Talk About Emotionally Distant Fathers with the daughter. Oh Sam's gone upstairs by himself and finds Maggie still clinging to life. The Nosferatu dude attacks while he's trying to unchain her, but a quick li'l stabbity and he poofs away into dust.

Meanwhile, Bobby's just meandering through the dark woods all by himself. A young guy with no eyes walks up to him. Bobby's like, "Daniel?!" and ostensibly Daniel's like, "Hey Dad!" Daniel's got no eyes but he's got a mean right hook! Down Bobby goes. That'll teach ya to go wandering off alone just because the script calls for it.

Ostensibly Daniel pins Bobby to a tree with... an angel blade? I think? Okay that looks like it's going right through his heart or at least his lung but I don't think he's scheduled to die again yet. Mary shows up and shoots Ostensibly Daniel but he does not poof into dust. Bobby unskewers himself to go save Mary. This time Ostensibly Daniel does poof, so I guess stabbing's the key.

Dean notices that old coma guy is getting a transfusion. His nurse makes some bullshit excuse about it but Dean's figured out the the guy is a djinn. Is that how they spell it on this show? Anyway, he knows because the same thing happened to him many seasons ago, and kudos to the show that for once it did not give away the monster of the week in the THEN! portion of the episode.

Ok so I was wrong about the guy being a ghoul but I was right about him being the baddie. That blatantly comedic facade gives it away every time.

Lol the djinn thinks Dean is still Michael. He thought this was all about Michael "testing" him, blah blah. He was supposed to kill as many hunters as he could. He tries to suck out Dean's nightmares but whatever he sees gives him the asshole sweats and Dean handily beats him to a pulp.

Wait so why was he taking blood from them? Ah fuck it, I don't care.

The Winchesters et al return to the bunker. Dean gives Sam props for bringing Maggie home. Mary bandages up Bobby's wounds. They waited until they got home for that? He opens up a little bit about how Daniel died in the angel wars.

Sam and Dean make some calls to off-screen hunters and to Garth who it took me a minute to remember is a werewolf now. Dean says to Sam that he's been trying to move on from all the things that happened with Michael all turduckened up inside him, my phrasing but you get the point, Wouldn't it be useful to try to remember more of what Michael did, though?

Sad acoustic guitar plucks sad notes while the Winchesters make sad statements about killing Michael somehow, someday.

#Supernatural #spn crack #my recaps #tippiTV

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saleintothe90s · 6 years ago

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337. 88 Things about 1988, part 9 the last part

(part 8)

71. Koosh Balls

72. USA Today tries a TV Show (9/12)

It only lasted until January of 1990. Wow did they waste a lot of money on it:

Bureaus for the daily half-hour satellite show (there will also be a one- hour weekend edition) are being set up in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Washington, D.C., London (where British politician/fiction writer Jeffrey Archer has just been signed as correspondent), and in Roslyn, Va., where USA Today (the newspaper) is headquartered.

It`s costing plenty.

''We`re budgeting $100 million for three years,'' said Steve Friedman. ''You might as well do it right or not at all.'' 1

Wasted 40 million for a show that aired in the middle of the night in some markets:

The magazine-format program, originally titled "USA Today: The Television Show," debuted in September, 1988, on 156 stations, many of them running it in the coveted slot just before prime time. But now, the number of stations has dwindled to 84, with many airing the 30-minute show during hours only insomniacs could appreciate. 2

I found one episode from June 28, 1988.

73. Dale Earnhardt becomes the Intimidator with his black, red and grey #3 car

Before 1988, he drove a blue and yellow #15 Wrangler car.

[I love that apparently there is Dale glitch art gifs on Tumblr]

74. The “Geraldo Fight” (11/3)

This is the only thing I remember about Geraldo’s talk show from the late 80s and early 90s, and seeing the footage always scared me, because to five year old me it was like, “oh no, the man from the TV is hurt.”

Geraldo Rivera's nose was broken and his face cut during a skirmish yesterday midway through the taping of a program entitled ''Teen Hatemongers'' on his television talk show.

The violence broke out after John Metzger, a 20-year-old guest representing the White Aryan Resistance Youth, insulted a black guest, Roy Innis, calling him an ''Uncle Tom.''

''I'm sick and tired of Uncle Tom here, sucking up and trying to be a white man,'' Mr. Metzger said of Mr. Innis, the national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality. Mr. Innis stood up and began choking the white youth and Mr. Rivera and audience members joined the scuffle, hurling chairs, throwing punches and shouting epithets. 3

The Beastie Boys even referenced it in the song “What Comes Around.”

75. B.D. Wong raps about Driving School in Crash Course (made for TV movie)

I only just learned about this clip from the ThirtyTwentyTen Podcast. I just know for a fact that the lyrics are laughably lame:

“...going to Michigan state to be a football player, we can hardly wait! Make us proud Dr. J.J., we will watch you on TV scoring touchdowns on Saturday, or saying ‘to be or not to be’!”

(and yes that is Mac from Night Court, Charles Robinson!)

( Newsweek, December 26, 1988)

76. Massive 6.8 Earthquake hits Armenia (12/7).

It is unknown how many people died in the quake, some estimates are around 25,000+ people.

77. Governor Bill Clinton speaks at the Democratic National Convention

Bill was just supposed to speak for 15 minutes and endorse candidate Michael Dukakis. He spoke for 33 minutes! People booed! People cheered when he said “in conclusion”!

78. Duncan Hines Tiara Cakes

A dessert you had to buy a special pan for just to make it. Once they were discontinued, what were you gonna do with that shallow fluted pan?

79. Oprah’s Lil’ Red Wagon of Fat

Oprah regrets it now, but back in 1988 she lost a sloo of weight by starving herself for four months. So on her show she wheeled out 68 pounds of animal fat in a wagon.

80. These amazing carousel stamps

81. Holidays at the World Trade Center

82. The troubled Forest Fair Mall opens in Fairfield, Ohio (7/11)

[this is what the movie theater looked like a year after opening, source]

(Shopping Mall Museum)

As some know, I was the assistant editor at deadmalls.com for years. So I tried my best to find a dead mall that opened 30 years ago--and boy did I find one, one of the most amazing lookin’ ones. (Here’s my ex friends at deadmalls walkin’ though it in 2017)

But yes, this dead mall has flying pigs as decorations! They look like they were added sometime in the late 90s/early 00s? This mall was struggling just two years into operation, and was under redevelopment in 1992. The history of the mall was like, down, up, down, DOWN, nearly abandoned. The Wikipedia is actually pretty good.

83. Michael Dukakis and his tank (9/13)

Okay, so it wasn’t HIS tank, he was just there for a photo op during the presidential election. Boy looked redic!

I’m going to let Josh King, the author of Off Script: An Advance Man’s Guide to White House Stagecraft, Campaign Spectacle, and Political Suicide handle the summary for this, because it's great:

(more info from Josh here)

84. Chevy Chase hosts the Oscars (4/11)

...and it was his second time hosting! I know.

85. “Let the River Run” from Working Girl

Wow, lots to unpack here with this music video.

The Reebok Freestyle Hi-tops with the big white scrunchy socks! I’m so mad that these shoes don’t come in wide width. They’re soo narrow.

This. outfit. I want it. I tried to find a similar one to wear this holiday season but came up with zilch. Couldn’t find a white skirt on time, or a blouse like that.

Nora Dunn looks 20 years older than she was in this movie. Joan Cusack’s hair is my dream big 80s hair.

Melanie Griffith clearly does not want to be there.

The women in the office after the “bony ass” scene.

86. Santa’s Car

Who knew that Santa drove a hatch and lived in Maine.

87. Max Robinson Dies (12/20)

Robinson was the first African American to anchor network news in the United States. He shared hosting duties on the ABC Nighty News with Peter Jennings and Frank Reynolds in the early 1980s. Sadly alcoholism derailed his career, and he passed away from AIDS.

88. 35 Students from Syracuse University die on Pan Am Flight 103

(news coverage 1 , 2)

To this day, Syracuse University has an extensive collection and memorial dedicated to these students. There is also a heartbreaking .pdf titled “On Eagles Wings” that profiles every passenger and Lockerbie resident who died that night.

1. Beck, Marylin, “USA TODAY SET TO MAKE TV NEWS,” Chicago Tribune, une 25, 1988. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1988-06-25-8801100627-story.html

2. Kaye, Jeff, “Why There's No Tomorrow for 'USA Today' : Television: The cancellation marks another setback for GTG Entertainment, which had three programs dropped last year,” Los Angeles Times, November 24, 1989. http://articles.latimes.com/1989-11-24/entertainment/ca-215_1_usa-today

4. “Geraldo Rivera's Nose Broken In Scuffle on His Talk Show,” New York Times, November 4, 1988. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/11/04/nyregion/geraldo-rivera-s-nose-broken-in-scuffle-on-his-talk-show.html

#88 things about 1988 #1988 #pan am 103 #max robinson #working girl #carly simon #let the river run #joan cusack #chevy chase #reebok freestyle #santa claus #michael dukakis #forest fair mall #world trade center #stamps #oprah

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hiyo-silver · 6 years ago

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Africa

A/N: Chapter two of the bichie Blended au! Bill is a trans man in this and I just decided that because that’s how I like to write him. Chapter one here. On ao3 here <3

taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @starboystan @rachi0964 @shewasthewind @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose1122 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic

Richie slings his bag over his shoulder, walking cheerfully out of the store, Peter's sporting goods, the only job he's ever had where he's as close to his employer as he is.

He walks with a hop in his step all the way to his pickup truck, tossing his bag into the passenger seat as he starts the old vehicle. He turns the music up on high and rolls down his windows, rolling out of the parking lot, singing loudly to the radio.

"Headed on the highway! Lookin for adventure, and whatever comes my way!" He sings alone, dancing in his seat, using his face to express himself, keeping his hands on the wheel, he's gotten in trouble for that before.

He pulls into his driveway, creeping in to see his daughters on the couch, some random movie on. Chloe asleep on top of Espen and Veronica on her phone, looking bored with babysitting.

He creeps behind them, putting his hands on Veronica's shoulders and making a loud roaring sound. She jumps in her spot, spinning around quickly, "Godamnit dad, it's not funny anymore," she huffs, shutting her phone off.

"Ah, Ronny, get a sense of humor," he smiles, turning to a sleepy, but now awake, Espen and Chloe, "you guys sleep well? I think you'd both prefer your beds," he says, Immediately picking Chloe up in his arms, "Espen I'd carry you too- but Chloe is four and you're eleven- I think you'd crush me," he chuckles, hoisting Chloe up higher, her head on his shoulder.

"Got it dad," she smiles, grabbing the air and standing up, walking around the couch like she's holding someone's hand, "Mom and I are going to bed," she informs him, hugging him one handedly and running up the stairs, never letting go of the invisible hand.

"Tell your mother I love and miss her!" He shouts up the stairs, smiling when Chloe doesn't so much as stir, the deepest sleeper of his three kids. He turns to Veronica, "You planning on sleeping any time soon?" He inquires.

"I have to run an errand," she says simply, "can I borrow the truck?" She asks, standing up to get closer to meeting his eyes.

"Uh, you don't have your license so you can't drive without good ole pops here, but I can't leave Chloe and Espen, can it wait until tomorrow?"

Veronica shifts awkwardly in her spot, "Um, not exactly," she says, running her hand up and down her arm.

"What? Ya buying drugs? Because I don't approve," he asks, tapping his toe, still smirking though, just teasing.

"Uh- no," she replies, looking down at the ground, "I just have to, seriously, please?"

"Really can't let you, champ, what do you need?" He asks, ruffling her hair and shifting Chloe's position again.

Embarrassment spreads over Veronica's face, dragging her hands down her face, "uh, I'm on my period," she says quietly, whispering it nearly to herself, no matter how often she's had to talk about this with her dad, it never gets better.

"What? Didn't hear you, Ronny," he says, leaning in and cupping his hand behind his ear teasingly.

"I'm on my period!" She basically shouts at him, before sulking back a little.

His face falls awkwardly, "fuck, uh- yeah forgot you get those," he says with a grimace, "uh, get Chloe to bed, I uh- I'll get the stuff," he promises, handing the smaller girl over.

He walks back out to the car, humming softly and starting the car, backing out of the driveway and down to the closest gas station. He walks into the fluorescently lit building with the jingle of the bell.

He walks over to the "feminine hygiene" aisle, looking with wide eyes up and down the wife variety on the shelf, why the fuck are there so many options? He thinks to himself, grabbing the first box he sees.

Bill is in another aisle, looking over the beer options, he'd run out, and it's just about how he lasts through a night home with his kids without good mad. Richie sees him, walking over and tapping his shoulder, "the apple kind is the best, just a tip," he grins.

Bill doesn't look over, "Special flavors are for pussies," he says simply, grabbing his usual six pack and turning to be met with Richie.

"Hooters dude?" He asks, sounding almost appalled.

Richie puts his hand in his pocket, still holding the box of pads awkwardly, "Most people tend to call me Richie, but I suppose calling me Hooters dude works," he shrugs.

"You took me on a date to Hooters, a first date," Bill sighs, trying to brush past him, noticing the box, "those yours?" He asks, looking a bit confused.

"Uh- no, my daughter," Richie says awkwardly, "Forget satan’s waterfall exists sometimes," he says awkwardly, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"You? Daughter?" Bill asks, his voice high in his surprise, "Whatever- those are wrong," he informs.

"What? No, they're what she needs, right?" Richie asks, "Little sticky blood napkins?" He asks, referring to them with a "funny" name out of his awkwardness.

"Uh, no, c'mon, those are for old ladies," Bill says, dragging Richie by the sleeve to the aisle again, grabbing a smaller box and handing it over, taking the other one and putting it back.

"How do you know so much about this shit? You got kids?"

"Two sons. I know about vaginas because I had one for half my life," he says before walking away from Richie to put his beer on the checkout counter.

Richie stands dumbfounded, chasing after him, "What? But you-?" He starts before Bill shushes him.

"Shut up before you say something offensive. It's called transgender, it's late, I'm going home to my kids, look it up if you have to," he shrugs before paying and walking off, the soft jingle of the bell confirming his exit.

Richie hears his cell ring as he checks out, reading the contact name, Peter. He picks up as soon as he does, "Nyello!" He greets, only to hear quiet crying on the other end. "Peter? Eddie broke up with you? Because your kids?" He asks, taking his plastic bag and walking out on the phone, "your trip? Oh god, no refunds?" He talks all the way to the car, talking to his sad friend the entire way home, "I can buy the trip off you?" He suggests as he locks up the car in the driveway. Peter agrees, and Richie feels a bit guilty for capitalizing on his friend's pain, but as he hangs up he whispers "yes!" To himself and fist bumps the air.

He walks in, locking the front door behind him, tossing the bag to Veronica on the couch. "We're going to Africa for spring break!" He shouts quietly, running up the stairs to tell the other two.

#it stephen king #it stephen king fanfic #it novel #it book #it fanfic #it 2017 #it 2019 #it 1990 #bill denbrough #trans!bill #richie tozier #blended au #bichie #my fics

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seenashwrite · 7 years ago

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Nash Recaps The Back Half Of Season 12 - Part One.

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2 / Pt. 3 / Pt. 4

[Note: these are lengthy & have lotsa images, just an FYI before you start]

Good news: soooo many CASPN notes for the S12 Side Deck, and I have re-named each episode with some of these brain droppings. Not-so-good news: my capitalization and punctuation were tossed aside for the following as I was droppin' said brainage in the moment. Rapidly. With much gusto.

And I'm kinda blunt. No, I'm way blunt. I'm cranky. I didn't care for this season. Too many irons in the fire and the writing wasn't robust enough or tight enough to pull it off. But the best episode of the season is in this bunch, and I wax near damn poetic. I read back through it, and overall it’s entertaining terlit readin’. Hope you enjoy.

Oh, and blame @ilsawasanacrobat for this, there was mild encouragement on her part and that, as y'all know, is all that's needed to egg me on.

12.15 - "A Pregnant Bitch Named Ramsay"

jesus wept, this dragged, that there was maybe a 20 minute story, edits should've started with that painfully long intro; glasses always a plus; good dean/sam banter; handful of good crowley lines; Rando Chick + Rando Doggie Chow = Dean + Sam obvious comparison is obvious #anvil drop #treat your viewers like they're smart #they'll rise to the occasion

soooo done with sam being a lying liar, why they fall back on this shtick I'll never know - wait yeah I do: lazy #waves at writer's room

we'll give this one The *Look* Of The Episode.....

so.... largely 'meh', HOWEVER!!!!

Dearest writer who ended this round of said shtick/the episode with shot of Dean's resigned facial expression, to the answering phone with "This is Sam", and hard cut to black?

[chef's kiss] perfection, this is gooooooood shit, that's what I'm lookin' for #not an anvil in sight #subtlety reigns supreme #believe people the first time #when they tell you #who they are

~ Skip this next one if you like the claire character/find the portrayal anything beyond mediocre, because I don't pull punches ~

12.16 - "The Voting On Claire's Life"

I prepped dinner through the whole "this shit happened" montage and the two throwaway characters, I was glad they got attacked, heard them from the kitchen, despite having no idea what was said, still know they were very attackable

Oh dean, saying mick's repressing things, that's adorable you lil' kettle, make sure to hit the pot up with more advice later

dear set designer: stop using those bright yellow-railed utility stairs in locations so much, or else paint 'em, I only watch these episodes once but I still notice because they're Bright. Farging. Yellow #that's the goddamn garage set #and we all know it

magda = one of those missed opportunities, re: too many irons; madga shoulda been off to jody's and donna's posthaste

yes, werewolf on loose, and 'tis true you and your brother were raised to be a team and avoid going off alone when possible but I know better having accumulated about 5 minutes of experience in the field, do stop treating me like a kid, oh very large experienced manly hunter who cares about me, I shall in my 12 year old wisdom take off down yonder path with ridiculous-looking headphones blasting shite music, whatever would be the problem with this decision

holy fuck, empathy and inner reflection, I mean, sort-of, because she's still making everything about her. how the situation she got herself into with magnificent stupidity and the repercussions it therefore spawned impacts her feels, though she's trying to sell it as consideration for jody but her million other actions are better representations of how much she considers jody, and as jody was prepared to love her zombie son and loved her adopted freshly un-vampired daughter without knowing what ripple effects that could have on alex, she would likely welcome a wolfed-claire in with open arms, were claire willing to fight but, ya see, she's not, not really, and does she honestly think being dead will be okey-dokey with jody, and blah blah blah, and were claire and I married in a past life, because she's got the whole obtuse husband routine down cold

can we just let it marinate for a second that this actress/character continues on while shoshannah stern/eileen - and the exceptional actress/magda character - did not? and I KNOW she costs more, her agent must be phenomenal, see below, RE: cast in golden-globe-winning and multi-oscar-nominated tv miniseries and movie, respectively

I loathe the claire character, and >50% of it comes via lazy development on the writers' parts, but if you want to bask in more of that dead-eyed-dolly delivery, this chick plays Everything. Exactly. The. Same. Way. in "Big Little Lies" and "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, MO", and I'm not being snarky or hyperbolic - I'd reserved judgment throughout her tenure on the show, but at this point I'm less on the fence, she's gotten better material and been surrounded by pretty fucking high-caliber actors in those other 2 than spn writers/casting have provided, so.... yeah.... and in real life, she's got a great personality, I've seen it in clips that go around of interviews or whatever, not a clue what happens when they call "action" it's like she immediately deflates - it was hooooorribly evident in the pilot for wayward, all those other gals - patience/kaia/alex - showed range and had light in their eyes and felt natural in their characters, then there was ol' faithful flat face over yonder.... the lil' kid actors, particularly the one playing her younger sister, in BLL run rings around her.... and sweet lord, she had to share screentime with frances mcdormand in 3BB, can you imagine? I'd be wearing Depends, and the kid playing her brother held his own pretty well [he is *palpably* nervous in his scenes w/FMcD] but I tell ya, with her, it goes from painful [spn] to cringy [BLL] to second-hand embarassment in 3BB, and real fast

but speaking of SPN/WS writers, I am hoping for some maturity in wayward, like we've seen in alex, and patience is clearly already mature, just new to the game, and kaia I have a feeling is gonna rock our heads off... occasional ptsd ripples are fine/justified, so are handfuls of learning-curve mistakes, but if I wanted to watch a show about whiny teens fucking up over and over again, then, um, I would #waves at showrunner(s) #teens aren't one-trick-ponies #go, like, talk to one #and if you're basing her off #your own kids' behavior? #bless your hearts #legit #what PITAs

what is UP with the the flashbacks and flashsideways at the end?! ugh. were not needed

y'know, Tiff @butiaintgonnaloveem told me, she TOLD ME not to bother watching this episode, and I did it anyway, and I keep having to get up and walk away and come back, it is taking me like three hours to get through this ass disaster OKAY okay I'm done you're all better than me, it's why I'm a pseudo-fan because.... because..... grrrr..... never mind, I'll channel it elsewhere.....

the awesomesauce was of course the plethora of quality "looks" between the guys and what is, dare I say, not only The *Look* Of The Episode, but possibly The *Look* Of The Season:

Bottom line - they could've accomplished the "hey there's mick get to like him better 'cause we're gonna kill him dead here in a bit" without the claire element; have I mentioned I loathe claire, I *loathe* claire, they have boned that character and didn't even take it out to dinner first, I mean, daughter of an angel, essentially? cool-ass chick hunter? I'm in, but this is what we got, and.... I'm stopping, I swear....

#pleasepickupwaywardsothatactresswillnotbeonthisshowagainatleastnotasoftenokthxbye

12.17 - "Ketch's Fierce Manspread on the Bedspread"

lady, shut uuuuuuuup, why is her blah-blah so looooooong

oh... oh, my.... well, golly.... to snitch a line from back when the scripts were tight and trippy: sweet Peter on a popsicle stick

but... but why? I don't get the need for this, it's.... [heaving sigh] damn this is stupid, and that's an objective not a subjective, and here's why: math, specifically the math on their acceptance numbers - and not counting legacies, they couldn't put legacies in this, I don't care what they say because the powers that be aren't gonna pony up their grandbabies, it's why rich elites' kids magically don't get drafted into military service - so just the plain ol' recruiting AND retention rates would have to be of such a high margin to balance out this "to the death" bullshit that there's no way it would be sustainable, the math doesn't follow; The Kingsmen* did this better; also, I appreciate giving the BMoLs a touch of "umph" because their primary shtick is almost fucking to the letter a re-hash of Buffy's arc with the British Watcher's Council, complete with speeches on how not everything out in monster hunting land is black and white, the pointing out of buffy's willingness to work with vampires and witches, plus poor man's Wesley, a.k.a. Mick [sorry dude - perhaps more time and you'd have risen to that level but them's big shoes to fill], so yeah, I'm glad for the punch of something insidious or creepy, but this was just eye-roll-worthy

* no, Nash - The Kingsmen did "Louie Louie"; you mean to say "Kingsman".... and what say you, Colin Firth?

Opening scene in impala w/the 3 of them flows smoothly, feels natural, is delicious #good shit

dear dabb: is there a reason how everybody, and their mother, and their dogs, their minister, their bikini waxer, their accountant, and their under-the-table weed dealer knows that the winchesters are, um, unbeatable and unkillable to boot, except for the stuffily stereotypically-stereotypical british broad who's supposedly in-the-know about all things monster? does she even apocalypse? so, SO stupid. dabb, you & the S12 writers couldn't plot your way out of a graveyard even if death was co-piloting the backhoe

oh blah blah dickensian street orphan blah - stop fisting my face with useless backstory on mick. staaaaaaahhhhp. we get it. he's a soft-hearted sweetie, they thought they'd be gathering up a litter of wayward psychopaths, lucked out with a Ketch (probs more than one, tbh) and amongst them was cockney potter poor man's wesley wyndham pryce. WE GOT IT HE'S ADORABLE HE'S DEAD MEAT

ah, so early we find you, The *Look* Of The Episode....

....which, that watermark reminds me, a hearty #fuckoffriverdale Pictured below: dean channeling me, when I'm thinking about how someone actually paid someone else for the oh-so-original idea of taking something cheeky-campy-fun and going all broody-angsty-dark with it like, say, Archie Comics.....

this chick playing dagon is tops, which is how I knew early on she'd be dead meat. hey, look! it's cousin oliver!

if they snuck something eerie into the sonogram then I missed it - and I checked - so if there was, it wasn't obvious enough. they ain't got a pair over in ye olde graphics hub, because if animators have no chill with sticking dicks into rando scenes in cartoons so that bible belt mommies get the vapors, the least they coulda done is given us a preview of the forthcoming creepy ass smile. devil parasite teeth coulda been some stephen king shit right there

historically/more-often-than-not, the show make-ups and/or over-barrel-curls and/or lights [indoors] most of the women in such a way that they perpetually look 10-to-15 years older than their actual age, but my good gravy did they do right by shoshannah in the beer clink scene, hair and makeup and lighting on damn point, so refreshing to see, because our #deadmeat loaf needed a third yummy ingredient, I suppose ::sigh::

hey thanks for making crowley out to be a fucking idiot in that unneeded, added nothing, “why was it even in there?”, “I guess there were contract minimums to meet, so here we are” scene

that orderly, mannered, turn-by-turn, ever-so-slowly-rolled, dagon fling-away processional made me burst out laughing so hard that I woke up the dogs hahahahahahaahaha [wheeze] HAAAAAAAAhahahahaha #when the nash nieces and nephews choreograph fight scenes in the living room

real talk? the mary and ketch dynamic has my support 1000%, that scene made me like them - together and separately - quite a bit. I had actually caught this scene in the midst of whatever I was doing the night it originally aired, and it was enough to distract me into paying attention, and also because I couldn't figure what was with the one-leg-out-up-and-bent post-coital lounging thing happening

well-executed execution, knew it was coming [both because t-bag giffage, and, um, hello see above, re: dabb & co ain't never met an anvil they didn't wanna drop], but even so - the timing was good, they didn't let his speech drag out too long, even though ol' girl's THE COOOOOODE speech was too long. still. they got-in/got-out fairly well

holy shitsnacks. THE CODE. THE LORE. #mindblowers #CASPN Crew feels me on this

12.18 - "A Goat Dude With A Name Like A Pirate's"

oh poor man's Jay Baruchel's about to eat it, ain't he? we were actually getting a cheeky lil' cold open here for once :::sigh:::

GOAAAAAAT HEAD HAMMER STRIIIIIIIKE JERKY ZOOM IN YAAAAAASSSSS this is the show I signed up for. This. This right here.

give the very magnetic guest sheriff all the gold stars, he is phenomenal, every line delivery, the pacing, the proud-papa eyeballing of the taxidermy, ALL OF IT

it is exactly seven minutes and forty-eight seconds in, and I am actually adoring this episode STOP EVERYTHING IT'S HAPPENING I MIGHT BE TIP-TOEING NEAR THE FAN LINE

rando urban legend [nods], good.... diner banter, very good.... dean sizing up the utterly basic average waitress, annoyed sam tries to press on, good good.... [nods again, reaches for snack, settling in] ah-HA! it's the first THE LORE of the episode, hey, should I be documenting those, too? no. no, I don't have that kind of time

sorry, my dude

lookit the soft, pretty snow.... [sniffs]

his mjolnir is like a lil' repurposed beer stein.....

I just looked up who wrote this - he has written a grand total of 2 eps, this one, and the other he had to (I've no doubt) carry Dabb on: the wrestling one, which was littered with great moments, places for the guys to stretch their acting legs as it were, nice nostalgia/insight about their childhood that was just kinda floated out there vs. laxative-like exposition, had some fantastic crowley/cas dialogue to boot, and..... and......

WHY IS HE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE MORE THINGS, HE GETS THIS SHOW

Sam bringin' it home - I know we're not done yet, but I'm placing my bets now that this is, to be sure, The *Look* Of The Episode:

oh it's this dude. he's the goat. placing my bets there, too. I find his eyebrows off-putting. goat head = smart move. if he ain't the goat, then he's playing this way too weird. actually if he *is* the goat, he's playing this way too weird #that's a director anvil #I don't blame the writers

Ketch brand sneery snark is so marvelous..... goooooood tension with the flashlight slow walk peek in grate...... the sound/music is on point...... this is the best episode of the season, easily. like, it'll have to whiff it hard from here on out for me to hate it.... YES KETCH YAAAASSSSSS that fucking telescope in a basement..... music here is nailing it, too, it's very jessica jones-ish..... and THANK YOU for just showing them bugging the place, no stupid exposition on here is where we're putting them, here's how we're gonna monitor the frequency bleh bleh bleeecccchhh

THANK YOU WRITER, YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS, SO GOOOOOOD WHEN WILL THEY LET YOU WRITE MORE OF THE THINGS

that family business line coulda gone hella cheesy anvil drop [whispers --- like the on-a-hunt one in wayward pilot sorry-not-sorry] but here it worked, great delivery, great ackles face pull, they hit the moment and it was gone as soon as it came, nicely done

god bless, even the *lighting* is great, the aforementioned grating basement thing, this red in the freezer, dry ice is a touch much but HOOVES ARE THOSE HOOVES OR JUST REALLY CLUNKY BOOTS

the continued hammer-and-sam interactions are not passing me by, I don't know why this is a thing, but I'm not fighting it

that fizzle crackle colt through-and-through tho.... LOOOOVE

did he just dissolve-fart into some paint that I swear to god I'd used for a bathroom I was being wishy-washy on regarding color so I went with this flat pewter neutral garbage? DID I PAINT THE BATHROOM THE COLOR OF MELTED GOD

and what exactly did the monster look like, hmm? WE DON'T KNOW IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT'S WHY IT'S BETTER #it’s the Jaws under the water thing #the trick to making situations unsettling is #not showing all your cards

then..... and..... and.... and then.......

THAT IS HOW YOU DO A FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

let us not forget that this episode also spawned the greatest outtake that ever outtaked #chupacabra

okay, so, to sum up...... I've seen the finale, so since I'm done here, this means 4 more to go, but lemme say now......

Best. Episode. Of. The. Season.

plot to dialogue to casting to execution to set design to sound to costuming to lighting - granted, minor quibble in that the villain played it a squinch too obvious - but this was as close to flawless as I've seen since earlier seasons, the most recent being.... my mind drifts to something in the 9/10 ballpark but I couldn't say what just now.... beyond this nightmare of a season and the molasses drag that was the darkness arc, for sure. anyway. yeah. #good shit

Part two whenever I get around to binge-a-palooza again. I can do this. I might do this. Nah, I will. Eventually.

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rootbeergoddess · 7 years ago

Text

Yellow Brick Road

Finally, I have finished @durin-the-deathless21 ‘s fanfic! This is my first trans self-insert story so please let me know how I did and what you think about it. Warning: contains some sexy stuff. I’m still doing writing commissions so if you are interested, shoot me a message!

“This movie is weird.”

“Hush.” You said while leaning against Yondu. “You also say that about every movie we watch.”

“Yeah, but this one is the weirdest.”

“Be quiet, Yondu.”

“But it is!” Yondu sighed. “And I don’t get why the Lee Bee Tees on your home planet like it so much.”

“Yondu, it’s LGBT,” You corrected him, “and people like it because Oz is a wonderful place filled with accepting people. Unlike Earth.”

Yondu was silent but he wrapped an arm around you and continued to watch the film. Dating a Terran had been interesting for him. You were a lot like Peter; you loved music, made references to Terran culture, and was always talking about Terra. You also introduced him to these things called movies. They were very popular back on your home planet, apparently. You had shown him some of your favorites like Toy Story, Moana, and Shrek. He liked those well enough. This Oz movie was okay, but it was a bit weird. Sad for Yondu, it was one of your favorites.

“I still don’t get it!” Yondu sighed. “Why doesn’t this Dorothy girl just kill the witch?”

“She doesn’t have any powers.”

“But them shoes are magical, so why doesn’t she just explode that dumb bimbo’s head?”

“Yondu, don’t call the witch a bimbo and Dorothy doesn’t know the shoes are magical, yet.”

“Why?” Yondu was getting frustrated.

“Because it’s about the journey! Now hush up, I’m trying to watch.”

Yondu grumbled, but then went silent. He rubbed your arm as the movie continued. He wasn’t really paying attention since he was more interested in you. God, he really scored big. Cute, funny, and a great fighter; he wasn’t sure why you stayed with him. He was a mess. But he wasn’t going to complain.

He leaned over and kissed your cheek. When you didn’t react, he gave you another kiss. You tried to push his face away after two more kisses. Beneath your fingers, you felt him grin. Of course, he was being annoying on purpose. Sighing, you pushed him away again as he came in for a fifth kiss. This didn’t stop him. He took your hand in his and started kissing your fingertips.

“Knock it off,” You demanded. “I’m trying to watch.”

“You’ve seen this flick a dozen times,” He said, placing a kiss at your wrist. “C’mon, give Daddy some sugar.”

“Stop,” You tried to get your hand back, but failed. “And stop calling yourself Daddy; you know I hate that.”

“How come?” Yondu kissed up your arm.

“Yondu, stop it!”

This was one of the issues of dating him; he was a lot stronger than you were. Now normally, you could fight him, but you were relaxed and tired. You didn’t want to fight. You wanted to just chill out.

Despite trying to push him off, Yondu was able to pin you to the couch. You told yourself you weren’t going to let him have his way. He always did this. If he got bored, he would start trying to be all suave and romantic. No, it wasn’t going to work this time. It didn’t matter if you could feel his cock pressed against your leg. Nope, that didn’t matter. You were not going to let him get away with being stupidly sexy tonight.

“Get off.”

“Nah,” Yondu went to kiss you, but you dodged his lips. “Oh, ye playing hard ta get? I like that.”

“Off,” You tried to push him off once more. “C’mon, we’re missing one of the best scenes.”

“Nah,” He repeated, kissing your neck. “C’mon now, give us a kiss.”

“If I kiss you, will you let me finish my movie?” You asked with a weary sigh.

“Possibly.”

Sighing again, you let Yondu kiss you. Originally, you had thought a man with such jagged teeth couldn’t possibly be a good kisser. Boy, you had been wrong and thank god for that. Yondu kissed with a fiery passion every single time. Every kiss left you breathless and hungry. This kiss was no different. You closed your eyes as Yondu’s tongue slid into your mouth. So much for being firm.

With your eyes closed, you deepened the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his back, caressing his broad shoulders. Your body tingled as his hand reached up your shirt. His hands were roughed and scared, but you savored each touch he gave you. When he pulled back from the kiss, you were already breathless and your face felt hot. But you smiled at him.

“I have a feeling we’re not going to finish this movie tonight.”

“Nope.”

Yondu stood up, then grabbed your hand and pulled you up. Waggling his eyebrows, he scooped you up into his arms. You wrapped your arms around him, not wanting to fall. Sometimes, you forgot how strong he was. People would underestimate Yondu which was always a mistake. He wasn’t young but he could hold his own in a fight.

He reached the room you two shared. The door opened and then shut behind you as Yondu kissed you. Once more, you felt fire in his kiss. He took you to the bed, all the while still lip-locked. Your heart was going crazy inside your chest. The longer you kissed, the more your body began to ache. It was demanding to be touched, to be satisfied. Every single time you two would begin foreplay, you would quickly become desperate.

Yondu pulled back from the kiss and started the process of removing his clothing. Sitting up, you removed your shirt. For a while, it had been hard for you to be naked around another person. You had some scars due to past surgeries. They weren’t massive, but they were there. Yondu didn’t care. Like many Ravagers, he was covered with scars. He wore them with pride. The first time you had been with him, you had spent hours just running your hands over the scarred tissue.

Undoing your pants, you kept your eyes on Yondu as he continued to undress. You couldn’t help but stare when you saw skin. Yondu didn’t have what people considered a perfect body, but he wasn’t out of shape. He had a bit of pudge, but his arms and legs were all muscle. People underestimated Yondu and that was always a mistake. While he preferred to use his arrow, Yondu could knock out an opponent if given the chance.

“Watcha lookin’ at, sugar?” Yondu had noticed you staring.

“You, of course.”

“I am a fine specimen ain’t I?” Yondu flexed a muscle.

“Jesus Christ, you’re a dork,” You chuckled. “Hurry up and get naked.”

“Yer being demandin’.”

“Well, you’re the one who wouldn’t let me finish my movie and got me all horny. So hurry it up.”

Yondu removed the last layer of his clothing before joining you on the bed. His eyes were glued to you as he crawled towards you. He pulled your pants down when he reached you and your face turned red as he saw your erection. Yondu grinned as he ran a hand down your length through your briefs. You bit your lip and shivered slightly. Gripping his shoulder, you pulled him down and met for a kiss. Pressed against you, his cock rubbed against your briefs.

This was another thing about Yondu you were always in awe of; his cock. He was the perfect size, but it was the way his dick looked that you found interesting. It had some slits on the side and the tip was pointed. You had originally been worried when you two had sex for the first time, but your fears had vanished afterwards.

Yondu nibbled at your lips before his tongue traced your lips. His hands roamed your body, running through your hair, and going down to your lower back. The passion began to build, heat spreading through your body. While you enjoyed Yondu being dominant, you decided you didn’t want him to have all of the fun. You reached down with a small purr and firmly squeezed his cock.

“Oh, fuck,” Yondu panted.

“Like that?” You asked.

“You know I do, darlin’,” Yondu breathed. “Fuck, that feels good.”

You started slowly stroking him. Yondu moaned and you felt him become harder in your hand. His cock, unlike human cocks, would glow when he was aroused. It also felt warm, like it was pulsating with heat. Giggling lightly, you kissed his lips while your hand went faster. Against your lips, you felt Yondu moan. His eyes were closed and he was biting his lip to restrain himself.

“Oh, god,” Yondu bucked his hips. “You ain’t playing fair.”

“Pirates don’t do fair.”

Yondu grabbed your hand on his cock. Then, he grabbed your other hand and pinned them both above your head. Heat rushed to your crotch. God, you loved this side of him. When he was in charge, he just oozed sex appeal.

“Who's in charge here?”

“I am.”

“Keep this up, I’m gonna have ta punish ya.”

“Oh, really? How would you punish me?”

Yondu growled as he roughly pulled your underwear down and released your pinned hands from his grasp. Once you felt his hand on your cock, you arched your hips up to press into his hand more. Your cock rubbed against his hand and Yondu’s smile grew. He kissed you as he started moving his hand up and down your shaft. You smothered your moans against his lips. Desperate to be closer to him, you tightly held onto him.

His hand stopped stroking your cock and, for a second, you considered demanding him to continue. But your protest was silenced when you felt his dry finger probing your hole. You clenched your toes as you grabbed hold of the sheets. Ever so slightly, you arched your back. Every single part of your body was on fire. Pleasure was running through your veins as Yondu teased you. Your cock was engorged at this point and demanded attention.

“Baby, please.”

“Please, what?”

“Fuck me,” You finally said. “Oh, Yondu, please! I need you so badly right now!”

“That so?” He chuckled. “You want me ta fuck that nice lil’ hole of yours?”

God, his dirty talk was always such a turn on. How did one man know how to talk so filthy? Either way, you loved it.

“Yes! Please, Yondu? Please?”

“Since yer being so polite, I guess ol’ Yondu can fuck ya.”

Yondu got situated between your legs, grinning like the Cheshire cat. After using lube and his fingers to thoroughly prepare you, he gripped his cock and lined it up with your anus before gently pushing in. It was tight for just a minute, but then he filled you up and stretched you perfectly. Panting, you gripped his shoulders as he slowly started thrusting. Again, you were in awe of his body. You could see the muscles on his form, taught and well formed. You could have just stared at him all night, but there was no time for starring.

You groaned as his hips snapped forward. God, he felt great. He started out painfully slow, enjoying the look of desperation on your face. Whimpering, you pushed forward only to have him grab your hips. Once more you whimpered, but Yondu just chuckled.

“Ya gotta be patient, darlin’.”

You didn’t want to be patient. You wanted him now! You wanted all of him and you didn’t want to wait. But Yondu was in charge. He was going to make sure you earned it. Yondu captured your lips with his, his tongue immediately searching for yours. Again, you tried pushing forward only to have him use his body to pin yours down firmly, so you couldn’t try to move against him again. His dark red eyes bore into you and you felt like he could see into your soul.

“What did I say? I said ya gotsa be patient.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think you are.”

Yondu grinned, showing his pointed teeth. He propped his weight off of you before he thrust forward and moved one of his hands to your cock. He began to slowly rub your length, sending jolts of pleasure running through your body. Oh, god, this felt amazing! The pleasure was overwhelming, filling you to the brim and making you feel like you were going to burst. Gasping, you were unable to say anything. It was all too much, making your brain empty of all logical thought. All that was left was ‘fuck’ and ‘more between your moans and small whimpers.

Yondu watched you writhe around beneath him. You could read his face. He got off seeing you helpless. There was something he liked about seeing you like this. It really boosted his ego to see you bend to his will. But it was fine by you. You’d be his toy any day of the week. All you wanted to do was please him. It was like a drug. The happier he was with you, the more content you were; all you wanted was his approval, to make him smile, to make him aroused.

“How does it feel, sugar?” He asked.

“Good. So good. More?”

It was becoming harder for you to speak full sentences. You could feel that familiar feeling in your balls. Yondu felt you twitch in his hand, making his grin grow wider. His teeth shined as he smiled down at you and squeezed your cock. You felt like you were drenched in sweat, your body was rocked with heat. Yondu’s hand squeezed again, making you moan loudly. There was a tremble in your balls. No, why was it coming so early? Couldn’t you make this last longer?

Yondu’s teeth on your neck brought you back to the moment at hand. He licked upwards and then kissed your lips harshly. You grabbed at his back and your nails scratched over raised scars as you felt your cock twitch. There was a tremble in your balls as he continued fucking you. No, you weren’t going to be able to last. Panting, you held onto him for dear life as your orgasm came. Yondu fucked you through it until he followed suit. He pressed his head against yours as he tried to catch his breath.

“Damn, that was good,” He said with a happy and content sigh.

It had been good. It was always good with Yondu. Yondu was crass and rude, but he made you feel amazing every single time.

“So good,” You felt a bit wobbly. “Amazing.”

“Did I tire ya out, dollface?”

“A bit,” You said. “You also got me dirty.”

“Yeah, but I betcha you loved it,” He said with a grin as he moved to lay beside you. “Besides, we can take a shower.”

“I suppose-” You paused. “Yondu?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Do you love me?”

Yondu blinked before turning to face you

“That was random,” Yondu replied. “Yes, I do love ya. Love ya a lot in fact. Why ya asking?”

“I just--I don’t know. I sometimes feel a bit scared this is all going to go away.”

“Aw, not this again,” Yondu wrapped an arm around you. “Baby, I promise I ain’t going anywhere. You don’t ever have to go back to Terra.”

The two of you had had this talk before. Terra was a place you never wanted to go back to. Despite your family living there, you didn’t want anything to do with them. There was always a fear that you would have to go back. It was a terrifying thought. Your family had always been very rigid and conservative. When they had found out that you prefered dressing like a boy, all hell had broke loose. It was a nightmare just having to wake up and deal with them. There were times where you regretted telling them anything. You had been begging for an escape for years.

That was when Yondu came.

Like an angel coming down from the heavens, he had brought his Ravager ship to Earth. Many people had been scared of the Ravagers, but you? You found them fascinating. How many people got to say their town had been visited by space pirates? Not many! Plus, Yondu was technically a hero. He had saved the galaxy alongside the guardians. He had almost died, too. How could you not be interested in that?

So, you had snuck out of the house one night and found his crew in a local bar. At first, you had just stared at him. How could you approach someone so confident? Then, he had noticed you. You were terrified for a second. Would he think you were weird? To your surprise, he asked you to join him and his men. At first, you didn’t know if you should. As exciting as space pirates were, they were still pirates. But Yondu looked inviting. As strange as he was, as alien as he was, there was something about him that you were drawn to. Before you knew it, you had spent all night with him; talking about his various adventures in space.

Then, he asked if you could ever go with him.

You hardly had to think about it. As soon as you got home, you snuck upstairs and began to pack. Once you had your suitcase ready, you joined Yondu.

“Does it scare you that much? Possibly going back home?”

“Yeah,” You sat up, sighing slightly. “I hated my family, I hated my home. It was so unforgiving.”

“But you love the vastness of space, eh?” Yondu sat up, and leaned against you.

“Yes,” You said with a small smile. “It’s because I can be whoever I want and no one can tell me otherwise.”

“That’s how life should be, baby,” Yondu grabbed your face to make you look at him. “Y/N, you’re your own person and you always will be. It doesn’t matter what other fuckers say.”

Smiling, you kissed Yondu. Never did you think you would be this happy. Travelling through space with a man who adored you. A man who treated you like you were the most important in the entire galaxy. A man who would do anything for you. How did you end up with someone as wonderful as Yondu? You would never know. You did know that he was all yours and that you were all his. It felt nice to belong to someone.

“When did you get so romantic?”

“When you get to be my age, darling, you realize life is boring unless you have someone to spend it with. Took me awhile to learn that lesson,” Yondu kissed you back. “Travelling the galaxy with a bunch of smelly Ravagers gets kinda stale.”

“Yondu, that's your crew. Be nice to them.”

“I don’t hafta be nice if I don’t wanna. ‘Sides, it’s true. None of them fuckers know how to use a shower properly.”

“Lucky for you, I know my way around a shower,” You said as you stood up. “C’mon, baby.”

Yondu grinned as he followed you towards the bathroom.

#Rootbeer Writes #Guardians of the Galaxy #Yondu #Yondu Udonta #Self Insert #Trans Reader #Yondu x Reader

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