#how many of the 7 hours i worked on this do you think was rendering the grass??? too many…
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mossymage · 1 month ago
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“Such a simple thing to be happy”
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strangerthingsfanworkrecs · 1 month ago
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Would love to nominate an artist: hearsegrrl Rachel is one of the friendliest artists I know. She is so supportive of other artists and writers, and although she's extremely busy irl, she still makes time for fandom and always drops the most iconic works. She's incredibly humble, and deserves all the love and recognition in the world.
This week, we're highlighting @hearsegrrl as an artist! All recs this week will be her art.
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see the original here She answered some questions about her work under the cut
Why Stranger Things?
Honestly I had never seen it before season 4, but when it dropped I started getting a bunch of Eddie edits on my TikTok and was like “WOAH, I gotta know more about that guy right now.” I binged the whole season over a couple days, fell in love with his character, remade a Tumblr account for the first time since my early teens, and started drawing him pretty much immediately.
What's your favorite ship (platonic or romantic) to create for?
I love how much people love Steddie. I love a two himbos in love dynamic and I love their interactions in the show, even if they were brief they obviously stuck with people.
What's your typical drawing process like?
Oh jeez. Long. Once I have an idea I’m pretty eager to start on it asap, I collect a lot of references for what I’m thinking googling model poses, random band member candids, or taking weird self timer pics of myself posing in my kitchen and then cut and paste and collage them into something close enough to what I want and then kind of draw a “skeleton” over all of that just to save a couple hours, but that process still usually takes me about 2-3 hours to get it perfect. The piece I’m working on right now has a lot of little pieces in it and that part of the process took ten hours alone. Then I have a line drawing that I block base colors into, lock all of those, and then kind of fully render out each part at a time- skin, hair, shirt, pants, accessories, whatever else. I spend a good 75% of that process going “AHHHHH I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS WORKING,” and then somehow it all comes together in the end. Sometimes depending on the piece, I’ve liked finding random stock images to kind of overlay in the background, it makes him feel so much more real and lifelike to me. Lately, the fully rendered stuff I’ve been posting takes anywhere from 12-20 hours of drawing. I tattoo full time 11-7 or later 5 days a week on top of drawing for appointments outside of work and usually only have time to draw for a couple hours at a time, or a little on the weekends so I try to be as efficient as possible.
Do you have a favorite tool for drawing?
I used to do a lot of painting for work and pastel pencil drawings for fun but I switched over to an iPad Pro a few years ago and it’s so much easier to be able to just draw on the couch and not drag out a bunch of materials and make a mess. I use Procreate for work and for fandom art.
Do you have any tips for drawing clothes?
Using references or making your own references to take pictures of! They’re a relief to get to because they don’t need to be perfect, unlike a face that is very anxiety inducing so don’t overthink it.
What has been your favorite project so far?
I really, really love the one I’m working on right now, I don’t know if I’ll post it (and if you’re reading this after Valentine’s Day you may have already seen it) because it’s a gift but it’s been the most fun and silly and therapeutic. But I love any “Eddie with an occupation” or AU moment, doing the baseball AU drawings for @brock-eddie was so much fun and I love how they turned out.
What has been your hardest project so far?
The Christmas Steddie one was kind of a pain in the ass because it took so long and had so many more little parts than just drawing one character, but I was happy with how it turned out. There’s a couple WIPs in my iPad that I would love to finish but they just weren’t turning out how I wanted them, I want to revisit them but I might have to scrap them and start over. Everyone is so nice I’m sure I could post them now and people would be stoked but things have to be perfect or I lay in bed at night and regret posting them for literally weeks.
Have you ever had a creative block?
Not really for coming up with ideas, but finding the energy to sit down and draw after working all day is hard sometimes. I have a weird thing where I don't want to draw for a little bit, I have to be in the headspace to work for at least 2-3 hours at a time or I just won't do it.
Is there a big source of inspiration for you? Books? Art? Games?
UGH, BEIN IN LOVE. Being a weird alt girl in Indiana. Eddie is so my type and for the first time I had a huge crush on a character that I felt like I could be his type too. I’m a tattooer going to metal shows in my free time in 🤠Waynedale, Indiana🤠, it is so easy to picture him living in my town and going the same places I do and through art I can make him real. There are so many talented writers on here who have brought him to life and I love and am inspired to draw by the fics that really flesh out the fact that he’s so earnest and has all these deeper feelings but he’s still a ding dong twentyish year old boy doing ding dong twentyish year old boy things. @jo-harrington's store manager verse, @wheels-of-despair's Evil Woman fics, and @courtingchaos's writings all fill me with DEEP, ACHING YEARNING for a boy like him, and no matter how sucky and unimpressive dudes in real life are, they make him so nice and funny, and I can dress him up however I want and draw him from the viewer’s perspective and there is something so therapeutic and comforting about that. I’ve been through a lot of dumb and mildly traumatizing stuff the last couple of years and reading fanfic again and drawing fanart has brought me so much peace and happiness in all of it.
What's your favorite way to get comments or interactions on your art?
I’m always really excited to finish a piece and get to post it here ASAP just to see everyone’s reactions. I’m so proud of the work that gets put into them but I’m never going to post them on a more public forum like my Instagram, I do them for myself and for the little group of people here I know it’ll bring joy to and it’s really fun to share that joy with everyone. When I’m sad, I go through the tags in the reblogs because people are so funny and sweet about them.
Is there an upcoming project you're particularly excited about?
Nothing specific right now, I’m about to get really busy with real work so I may have to slow down a little. I get a lot of ideas around the holidays/seasons changing because I love the more themed drawings, so after Valentine’s Day hopefully I’ll have some cute spring ideas to work on! I always like getting requests to see what people are wanting to see. I can’t always get to them because of work but sometimes they spark ideas for bigger projects.
Is there anything we forgot to ask?
I don’t think so! Love you all so much, for real. Time to write and draw more Eddie stomping out fascist weirdos. The world really sucks right now but everyone contributing to this fandom is creating a positive space and helping us get away from it all, I am so grateful for all of the talented people here for making life more bearable right now.
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anarchotahdigism · 10 months ago
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This H5N1 situation in the US is starting to concern me. H5N1 has been found active and infectious in raw milk & a study of dairy farms showed that half of a colony of cats which consumed infected raw milk died. https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/30/7/24-0508_article It's showing up in Texas wastewater which could be from infected individuals, the dumping of contaminated milk, or both. It's not clear yet & dairy farms are blocking CDC access to test animals and workers. Workers anecdotally have been getting sick but because they're agricultural workers and likely largely undocumented, they have little legal recourse, no real work protections, and so it's not known if they are indeed officially sick from working with infected animals or if it's spread via human to human contact. H5N1 has a mortality rate of at least 50% in a healthy, immunocompetent population. COVID makes you immunocompromised for at least a year with the first infection. 2-3 infections render you permanently immunocompromised. The CDC is claiming that H5N1 mortality rate is 25% leaving them free to say that it's not as dangerous as people think (it's moreso) and that if (when) it becomes clearly deadly, it's only killing off the "vulnerable". That means you, if you've had COVID recently or multiple times. Whether this explodes into a fullblown pandemic or is beaten back in time is up in the air, as is COVID, incidentally. Y'all should never have stopped masking and if you did, you need to resume masking in public. It's a matter of life and death for yourself and for others around you. It's a matter of principle & it's a commitment to radical resistance to fascism. Masking is our first and best defense against airborne pathogens. COVID and H5N1 are both killed by cooking foods well, making pasteurization and proper food handling even more important, but freezing seems to preserve H5N1. H5N1 is potentially infectious for days as a fomite, depending on environment and surface it's on. UV takes about an hour to kill it, which is too slow for UVC installations (from what I understand). There are vaccines in development and the CDC has ordered 20 million doses of H5N1 vaccine but it will take months for them to be produced and it will take longer to produce enough doses for the entire population. Because so many people are now immunocompromised and do not know it & doctors don't bother to look for it, I have no idea just how effective vaccines would be, but it'll be vital for everyone able to get them and, most important, to keep masking. Had we actually rioted for COVID mitigations to continue-- instead of embracing eugenics wholesale as a society--for Biden to make good on his promises to support victims of COVID and to end the pandemic with meaningful measures, including HVAC upgrades to all inhabited & public buildings and spaces, we would be at substantially less risk now. Instead we have thousands dying every week of COVID in the US because the rich demanded it and I cannot begin to imagine how huge that number would become if H5N1 did become an epidemic. We also have politicians outright banning masks at protests, in businesses, and possibly wholesale public bans of masks. That has only become possible due to widespread acquiescence to fascism and the abandonment to isolation and death of the working poor and disabled. COVID was the "easy" mode to prepare for the pandemicene caused by the climate collapsing due to ecocidal capitalism.
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porcupine-girl · 5 months ago
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I realized today that I've been blaming my writing going all to hell on covid. And that's definitely part of it - wisps of brain fog always linger for several weeks afterward, and I find it significantly harder to think of the word I mean for things than it was a couple of years ago.
But I realized today that something else happened at the same time:
I got covid for the first time in July 2022.
And my kid went into 7th grade a month and a half later.
Why is this significant?
Because 7th grade meant switching from elementary to middle school. And while the elementary school had an after school program that meant he got home between 5-5:30pm, the middle school had no such program. He stayed after for clubs, but they were only twice a week for an hour, and not the entire school year. They usually didn't start til October and ended in April.
My brain does not turn on properly until 2-3pm most days. This is just how it works. When I was in grad school (before having a kid, and when my husband lived in another city), I would go to campus and work 3pm-10pm many days, it was great. That is perfect.
Having a kid fucked this up, because suddenly my most productive time of day is filled with dinner and bedtime and such. When he started elementary school with this after school program, that helped because at least I had 2-3 hours a day after my brain turned on and before he got home.
Suddenly middle school is here, and he started getting home by 3:30, 4:30 when he had clubs (which again, was not most days). So suddenly I went from 2-3 hours of work time to an hour at most, and sometimes even when I thought I'd get that hour he'd show up at 3:30 because robotics club got cancelled.
Now high school is the same way - thankfully, his bus ride takes a while (he rode his bike the half mile to the middle school), so even though they get out at 2:30 he doesn't get home until 2:55. But this means I have no work time at all before he gets home and I have to start keeping on top of him to get homework done and practice cello and etc etc etc. The one extracurricular he's done so far, film crew, hasn't even been after school! First they were meeting from 7-9fuckingPM three days a week, then the past few weekends they've been filming 8am-5pm Saturdays & Sundays. Which means I do get time without him on the weekends, but my husband is home and sometimes he's even not working and expects me to do things with him because it's the only chance we get, since he's working most evenings.
So anyhow. I knew this was annoying, but I only realized today how bad it was because I was actually up and medicated and showered and dressed before 2pm (this is a constant struggle on days I don't teach, once again I'd been getting it under control and then covid hit), but I had trouble getting anything done 2-3pm because of the whole but he'll be home in less than an hour, whatever I do I'll have to stop in less than an hour thing that you KNOW renders many of us with ADHD completely useless. And this was the first time I realized that I lost those vital 2-3 work hours every weekday at the exact same time I got covid the first time, and I think that has impacted me more than I'd even realized.
ETA: I should mention that before I got covid the first time, I was actively preparing to query agents for some picture books, as well as about halfway through a middle grades novel, and had published two articles in kids' magazines and was actively querying to get more. Aside from the way my fanfic output has slowed to a trickle, I have made almost NO progress on ANY of these professional writing attempts. What time I do manage to spend on work stuff, I have to use on teaching, because shit will actually happen if I don't get teaching stuff done while if I don't get writing done absolutely nothing happens.
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funnyposts101 · 5 months ago
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The 10 Reasons Why Puppies Are Secretly Running the World (And Why We Should Let Them)
Let’s be honest—puppies are the true masterminds behind global affairs, and we're all just too distracted by their fluffy cuteness to notice. But what if I told you that behind those innocent eyes is a grand scheme to dominate our lives, one belly rub at a time? Here’s the hard-hitting truth you didn’t know you needed.
1. Puppy Eyes Are a Form of Mind Control
When puppies give you those big, soulful eyes, it’s not just adorable—it’s powerful. That look is their way of bending you to their will. "Oh, you wanted to binge-watch your favorite show? Not anymore. You’re now committed to three hours of fetch."
2. Puppies Are Training Us, Not the Other Way Around
We all think we’re teaching puppies basic commands like "sit" or "stay," but who’s really learning here? Let’s face it—you’re the one who’s been trained to dish out treats every time they do something mildly cute.
3. They’ve Perfected the Art of Distraction
If you think about it, every time something big happens in the world, a puppy video goes viral. Coincidence? I think not. Those little fluffballs are out there working overtime to keep us mesmerized while they pull the strings behind the scenes. Suddenly, all our world’s problems seem a little less pressing when you’re watching a puppy struggling to climb the stairs.
4. Puppy Cuteness Is a Form of Currency
Forget dollars and bitcoin—the real valuable asset is a puppy's cuteness. It’s like they have a never-ending supply of adorability that we just keep investing in. Think about how many times you’ve bartered your time and dignity just to pet a puppy. Now multiply that by the number of humans who’ve done the same. That’s a lot of transactions.
5. Sleep Is for the Weak—Or So Puppies Tell Us
Puppies operate on their own sleep schedule, and if you happen to live with one, guess what? You do too now. They’ll have you up at 3 a.m. for an emergency potty break and then decide 7 a.m. is the perfect time to chew on your favorite shoes. They're slowly breaking down our resistance, one interrupted REM cycle at a time.
6. Puppies Can Get Away with Anything
Let’s be real: if you tracked muddy paw prints across the carpet, you'd get yelled at. If a puppy does it, you’ll probably just say something like, “Oh, you’re such a little rascal, aren’t you?” They’ve figured out how to bypass consequences entirely. This is a skill that even top politicians have yet to master.
7. Puppy Barking Is Basically Free Speech
When a puppy barks, it doesn’t matter what they’re saying—it’s automatically important. They could be barking at a leaf, a shadow, or nothing at all, and you’ll still respond like it’s a matter of national security. “What is it, buddy? What do you see?” Congratulations, you’ve just been manipulated into giving a full reconnaissance briefing to a creature who thinks its reflection is another dog.
8. The Conspiracy of "Puppy Breath"
There’s no logical explanation for why puppy breath smells the way it does. It’s like a magical potion designed to render us powerless. You can’t say no to a puppy when it gives you that breathy little lick on your cheek. It’s probably laced with some form of hypnotic agent. We’ll never know.
9. They’re Slowly Reducing Our Productivity
Puppies have mastered the art of looking so cute that you forget what you were doing in the first place. You sit down to work, but then you glance over and see your puppy sleeping in a cute little ball. An hour later, you’re still watching it twitch in its sleep, and your deadlines are nothing but a distant memory. Puppies: 1, Productivity: 0.
10. World Domination Through Social Media
Puppies are the real influencers, and we’re all just living in their world. The moment a puppy appears in a photo or video, it automatically gets 1,000 more likes than anything else you’ve ever posted. They’ve figured out how to monopolize our social media feeds, making us willingly share their images and videos with the rest of the world. It’s only a matter of time before the internet is 100% puppy content, and honestly, we’re okay with it.
In Conclusion: Let the Puppies Win
At this point, it’s clear that puppies are already running the world—they’re just doing it in a way that makes us think we’re still in charge. And you know what? Maybe that's for the best. After all, a world full of belly rubs, spontaneous naps, and unconditional love doesn’t sound too bad. So go ahead, let the puppies take over. Maybe world peace is just a puppy cuddle away.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a puppy video I need to watch for, uh, research purposes.
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utilitycaster · 1 year ago
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could you elucidate on why coffeelocks are bad actually? my friend is a bit obsessed with them right now and i’ve never liked the specific build but i’d love to have concrete reasons that aren’t just opinions!
YES. Somewhere in my archives I think I actually did the math on like, how many short rests you have to take for this to pay any dividends, and it was a LOT, but that was during full lockdown iirc and you do not have to do this much work.
The basic gist of coffeelock for those wondering is that warlocks recharge spell slots on a short rest, and sorcerers can convert sorcery points into spell slots and vice versa. The idea is that if you take Pact of the Tome and then Aspect of the Moon as an eldritch invocation, you never have to long rest again and can just farm sorcery points/spell slots for 8 hours each night.
Now: the most obvious issue is that any reasonable DM who hears about this will look at you and say "I don't care if it's technically legal, I think it's annoying and I'm not going to let you do it." But let's assume your DM does not shut it down.
You have infinite spell slots at level 5. You are warlock 3 sorcerer 2. You know 7 spells total, which is what you'd know had you leveled to level 5 in either of these classes, except you also know 6 level 1 spells and 1 level 2 spell, max. Someone who leveled normally would have fireball, or dispel magic, or counterspell, and if they were divine soul they might even have revivify, but not you! This will eventually get slightly better at higher levels but if you're the party's main arcane caster this sucks and if you're in a party with fewer than like, five people, or perhaps a really caster heavy party, you're putting a lot of burden on other people to do the utility early on so that your dumb ass can cast magic missile 20 times a day or whatever.
I don't actually care for sorlock just generally, in the absence of coffeelock bullshit. Yes, it depends on the same main stat, but a bard or paladin combo will actually significantly broaden your repertoire. Sorcerer and Warlock have a LOT of spell overlap, and metamagic is one of those things that is like, super clutch 0.1% of the time and the rest of the time it's like oh ok (though I guess as a coffeelock you're not even really using metamagic! total waste of being a sorcerer, which is the weakest caster already! great job.). Meanwhile, two of the big strengths of warlock are 1. eldritch blast, a cantrip you can already cast infinite times without spell slots, and 2. eldritch invocations, which you have to level in warlock to get. Dipping into sorcerer means fewer invocations. Basically, all multiclassing is a trade off and I feel like this is at most the sum of its parts, certainly not more. I also think it's very tricky to play this in a way that is narratively interesting and makes sense for your character while also abiding by the specific leveling requirements of coffeelock. This isn't an issue in a one-shot but also in a one-shot you simply might not even take a long rest which renders the entire thing useless.
You have to take Pact of the Tome, which means you are spending all this time and effort and build for infinite spell slots but also you have, without any racial bonuses, literally 9 cantrips (ie, at-will spells) at level 5. And none of them are dispel magic, because that is too high for you for at least another 2 levels and that's only if you choose to continue in warlock. Also, actually, until you reach L9 in specifically divine soul sorcerer, you don't have greater restoration as discussed, so yeah your DM can just be like "oh you don't have to sleep but you do still gain exhaustion."
I lied and I did some math. So: you are a L5 coffeelock. let's say you have exhausted all your resources on day 1. You sit down for your little bullshit 8 short rests. You can never have more than two sorcery points, because the PHB page 101 says that you can't exceed the number of sorcery points shown on the table for your level. So every hour you convert one L2 spell slot (recharging) into a L1 spell slot (non-recharging), and repeat this (you can't convert both at once! because then you exceed two sorcery points!) and you end the night with 14 L1 spells and your two L2 warlock spell slots. If you are lucky, you might get like, one short rest if there is a monk or wizard or fighter in the party and they don't hate you so much that they're willing to go without ki points/second winds/arcane recovery, and they might. I guess you just stockpile low level spells indefinitely until you have to sleep finally? if you have a week of downtime do you just. walk around with hundreds of first level spell slots and not think this is the dumbest shit of all time? ooooh look at me i can cast fucking...detect magic for 24 hours straight. can't dispel any of it though!
Leveling up is a bitch too if I recall. You need to level up in sorcerer to get more points so you can eventually convert to higher level spells, and the exchange rate is not generous (like, if you're not sleeping, it's ok, but it's not in your favor as shown with the L2 to L1 conversion) and imo warlock is the superior class, and you're probably not really taking advantage of metamagic anyway so you're barely reaping the benefits of being a sorcerer except for flexible casting. Do you feel good about this? Is this fun for you? Your entire table is watching you count out your spell slots each night and hoping fervently you get audited by the IRS in real life but man you sure showed them by being able to cast chromatic orb a lot!
Also you can't use items that recharge on a long rest, only ones that recharge at dawn. Sucker.
This is all very long because I think coffeelock is an annoying build for people who think they are smart and really aren't, but the gist is that you trade away a great deal of your utility, ability to help the party, and ability to do anything except cast rather low-level spells in comparison to what everyone who made better decisions is doing. Also it's LAUGHABLY easy for the DM to fuck this over for you within the bounds of the rules even if they allowed it. Your patron gets annoyed that you're only leveling in sorcerer. Levels of exhaustion. Your patron, who communicates through dreams, straight up abandons you because you're not picking up their calls. You keep being put in positions where your 75 first level spells won't do shit and a single third level spell would. They taunt you with items that recharge on a long rest.
It's just...well, quantity over quality. Shein haul ass character build.
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the-whispers-of-death · 11 months ago
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cyberpunk/cybernetics au? something something stone having cybernetics installed into him from like, idk various injuries on the field.
reader being a mechanic who specializes in said body modifications/prosthetics and is basically the on-base robot doctor/
maybe he gets a malfunction on the fieldor something destroys a part of the circuitry in the arm and that just renders, lets say his robot arm, utterly useless and now the local doc's forced to go to his own doctor who's always covered in grease and muck and practically lives on base cuz of how many incidents keep happening.
lets be fr the workshop they gave reader to work in is probably the gnarliest and messiest place on the whole base, but hey, reader's the only guy they've got whos willing to put up with snappy and injured "patients" so. welp
or.. something something because reader's a *mechanic* and not like an actual human doc, unlike stone. reader pushing himself to the limits because "for fucks sake, i dont need sleep when half your wires were burned off-!". something something after everything's fixed up and stone can move his fingers now, its time for a mini role reversal thats just them bickering (they are so in love but cannot admit shit due to their jobs)
"you NEED to go to bed-! my sensors are picking up you havent slept in what, 39 hours!? damnit, you!" "not like i can fuckin' sleep much with you always being so busted after missions that it takes 7 hours straight to fix this shit! i told you, the metal is NOT heat resistant at all! i swear, if you keep doing this imma think you actually WANT to be in the workshop!" "and if you keep staying up so long the only place you'll end up is *my* bed-! wait no-"
need to give stone a badass robot arm
~ rusty
Stone totally has a badass robot arm and no I will not not hear any criticisms.
Anyways, yeah, you two bicker like old lovers already. Stone wants you to stop going without sleep for so long and you want him to stop literally diving in front of bullets and doing crazy heroic shit. No one has seen two doctors who are so careless with their own lives before, but here you two are.
He regularly (and lovingly) threatens to throw you onto a bed and tie you up so you can sleep. You respond by threatening to do a poor job of repairing his robotic arm so he gets honorably discharged from the military and stops doing reckless shit.
Some people on base don't believe you two like each other. Others believe you two are secretly married already.
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kokoasci · 1 year ago
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hii ! i have a question, how much does it take you to finish a drawing ?? i really really love how you render😭, and personally i struggle with it cause i always have problems with the whole trust the process mindset and rush everything .. do you have any tips? T-T
hiiii!!! it depends ;__; usually like a full background piece is at least 15-20 hours of work (although I've been trying to get faster WAA)
normal full body art is usually like 7-10 hours? funnily enough the half body/profile ones take longer bc i get hung up on details 😭
the trust the process part is the HARDEST part of art for me so i totally get it :( so many of my sketches just stay sketches because i cant get myself to keep working on them so i highly recommend just following through with it!! i really would recommend doing small little pieces (even like keeping a sketchbook, i do that and its helpful for just drawing whatever with no pressure of people seeing it) youre happy with to get more confident in drawing larger and more time consuming stuff, and to really not think about how you want the end product to look like but just follow whatever choices you make in the moment. it helps me a lot with feeling more satisfied with my work :D
trying different brushes, different colors and blending modes if you do digital art can be really refreshing too to get out of the process mindset (just experiment !!! it can help you get more ideas in a natural way)
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maddiebiscuits · 1 year ago
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i don't know how to phrase this any other way so i hope you don't find this rude or anything: you are (imo) a very skilled, very prolific art toaster. it's great quality artwork obviously, but your turnaround is wicked crazy fast to me. what does burnout look like for you? how do you manage to toast so many arts? what dark magics must you employ??
The hard truth is I worked in journalism for two years between 2010-2012 and customer service/hospitality starting at 16 years old in 2007 all throughout my life until 2022 and I don't want to go back to any of it now that I'm almost 33 - that's the main motivator to keep my freelance gig career doing art commissions going as long as possible. Fear and loathing of going back to that work environment keeps me focused.
In action...I'm not quite sure if I ever experience 'burn out'? I do experience art 'block' in that I can't think of anything to draw on my own or feel really unsatisfied with my work...so I just goof off with my canvas or do studies, but this doesn't interfere with doing commissions where I am told what to draw.
I just enjoy the physical act of drawing. Sometimes when I'm bored and restless and going for a walk doesn't help, I just draw more. When I was a kid I would just come home from school and draw crap between playing Gameboy/N64/Gamecube or browsing Elfwood/Newgrounds/DeviantART/Gaia Online, so it's literally just a habit now. If I don't draw for a long time I feel anxious and unwell. Somehow I just programmed my brain to think that art = leisure fun time, even if it's for work. I also tend to get into a "zone" sometimes and just put on video essays or music and a few hours later I'll have worked through some commission stuff.
I have three 'task lists' for my workflow:
A public trello board organized by work order types (N/SFW link)
A personal trello board organized by type/date in chronological order
A coloured tagging and folder system in my emails where I can just see the actual dates/timestamps of my last correspondence with a client so I know exactly who in my taskboard needs to be prioritized for their next WIP update
I hold myself to a standard of sending a client a WIP in stages:
rough draft (1-14 business days)
revisions (1-5 business days)
line art (1-14 business days)
revisions (1-5 business days)
final render (1-14 business days)
tweaks (1-2 business days)
So ideally, the client gets a finished commission in 3-6 weeks, so about 1-2 months. For larger projects I send more WIPs and the process is obviously longer. For simpler stuff like chibis, it's rarely a full six weeks. Over holidays I add an extra two weeks to my noted turn-around to account for IRL time off. On all my terms of service I have a maximum four months turn-around, essentially doubling the time I know my work flow is just in case there's some sort of medical or equipment emergency in my life that I need to account for that gives me a buffer (I also notify all clients)
Monday to Friday I wake up usually...late morning/early afternoon? I do anywhere from four to eight hours of artwork, broken up by walks, stretching, eating, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with my partner, etc. I look at my personal trello taskboard and emails to see what must be done and what can wait. I try to get at least 1-2 things done in a day though, be that sketches/line art/renders/revisions.
Right now I am looking at my email and task board, and the client with the highest wait time chronologically is someone who is waiting for their final render (sketch and line art already revised and done for them). Last email correspondence with them on the email says 9 days ago (so 7 business days, I'm supposed to take Sat-Sun off). Their order was paid in full and confirmed by me on November 9 and it is currently December 13, so I'm at about the 5 week mark (not accounting for delays in clients getting back to me of course) and I am very much On Course for my work load, no one has been without contact from me for 14 days or more so I'm pretty ahead of my game right now! I could take tomorrow off if I wanted, or only do 3-4 hours of work if I feel like it.
However the more work you finish and post, the more you show prospective clients your ability to finish orders and show your audience more art for engagement, so ideally I always like posting stuff when I can, it just creates a cycle of positive production and income.
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shynetyme06 · 2 years ago
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1 - 23 :3
cracks knuckles okay
1. how would you describe your art style? uhhhhhhhh, maybe "safe" is the word rn. whenever I think of my art style, what comes to mind is just how little I've been pushing things with it. I wanna change that ;D
2. what's your favorite thing about your style? I realize I like to use semi-realistic proportions, its cool how comfortable I've gotten with drawing faces and bodies
3. what's your least favorite thing about your style? It's so static man. same thing I said for the first question, I don't think anything really looks bad, but it just is lacking in creativity in comparison to the older art that should be looking worse than what I do now. I prefer my older stuff ;D (looking at you inktobertale2021.. where did it all go wrong)
4. favorite thing to draw? regular ol people. human characters are def more in my comfort zone, which explains why I keep hitting skeletons with the humanization ray (also I prefer to draw feminine characters)
5. least favorite thing to draw? I can't even say I rlly dislike it cuz of how rarely I even do it, but I am procrastinating so hard on learning backgrounds..
6. warm colors or cool colors? cool colors are my fav, but i find it easier to work with warm ones (I used to put a cool overlay over all my warm toned drawings hgdhfg)
7. show us a WIP behold, the wip ever. this drawing... was supposed to be posted on august 2022. and then, it was supposed to be posted on dec 21st, dream and nightmares birthday. (atp if I do end up wanting to finish this idea again, I'll probably just scrap it and start over)
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8. what's the most fun and least fun parts about your process? most fun is flat color and rendering. (though I rarely do the latter anymore) and for least fun, tbh a lot of the sketching part tends to be difficult for me, sometimes its cool tho
9. show us a finished piece alongside the original sketch example from when sketching was fun
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10. how many different sketches do you usually have until your piece is finished? I think I do need to make more of at least thumbnail sketches tbh.. I usually just make one and keep editing it, trusting the process. (and that fails like 70% of the time. woww wonder why sketching isnt fun for me-) 11. show us the last thing you drew, be it a finished piece or a small doodle can this count,,
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12. show us an old drawing first deltarune drawing. here's the redraw I later made of this :3 (also old hsgdhgf)
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13. how long do you usually take one a piece? depends. I'll have like 276478923 wips started, and then I get a random idea that I just have to do right at that moment, and I'll get it done in like 1-4 hours. meanwhile old sketches start to rot and maybe if its lucky I'll revisit it before my motivation dies and my style is too different to wanna continue from where I left off 14. digital or traditional? digital all the way, i've gotten too dependent on the transform tool + liquefy ;D (and many other things tbh but I'd be here all day if I tried comparing them more jhdjdf)
15. if digital, what program do you use? procreate, the layouts on other drawing programs scare me
16. favorite media to work with when drawing traditionally pen on paper (am I understanding this right wdym media-)
17. what do you love getting compliments about? I like when people enjoy the humanizations I come up with, and also original designs in general 18. are you satisfied with the attention your art usually gets? hmmm yeah
19. how often do you draw? very often, I just don't have finished things to share most days
20. a piece from this year that you're really proud of :3
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21. something you would like to improve on the dynamicness (well, the lack of it) of everything, as said before
22. what inspires you? Ink sans and a ton of creators in this fandom (also animated shows and movies, I love animation)
23. what's something you hope people notice when looking at your art? idk tbh, just notice it at all and I'm happy :>
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freddieloundsgf · 1 year ago
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my five star books so far this year!
twitching and shaking right now trying not to become a book blog but i have no one else to talk to so you will all be subjected to my ramblings! >:)
i am not a professional reader or reliable critic. what i give five stars is usually totally dependent on vibes and how i feel while reading and is not at all indicative of extreme technical skill or otherwise life altering capabilities. i just work here.
1. Inferno by Dante Alighieri
- to no one’s surprise, the exvangelical, religious iconography and hell-obsessed girl* gave 5 stars to the famous book about hell. this is my favorite book and i have read it many times. i have two inferno tattoos and i collect copies of this book. i prefer the Longfellow translation simply because it is the one i am comfortable with and have tabbed to hell (wink emoji) and back.
2. This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone
- i love when women love each other. BUT WAIT. disclaimer alert: if you can listen to this book rather than read it, please please please do yourself the favor of listening. this book is non-linear, convoluted, and chock-full of flowery and even complicated prose that will make you kill yourself if you have to comprehend the text as it is inked upon a page. the audiobook is only 4 hours long and can be listened to in a day. it would not have been five stars if i hadn’t listened to it.
3. Know My Name by Chanel Miller
- an absolutely gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and important memoir from the “Emily Doe” involved in the Brock Turner case. a powerful depiction of reclaiming your identity and navigating the husk of your own life after being rendered a “victim.” i don’t have much i can say about this, the book says it all. Chanel Miller puts words to feelings that have rotted me from the inside out my entire life.
4. Piranesi by Susanna Clarke
- most people would probably not rate this so high, but i had a really good time reading this book. the world was strange and Piranesi was just such a great perspective to live within. i will admit this did get tedious at times but it did not affect my overall enjoyment.
5. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
- listen. i know, okay? i know. my intention was to hate-read this book so i could make fun of the men who love it. and look where that landed me. i read this in basically one sitting and really really enjoyed it. i tabbed and highlighted it to pieces and, unfortunately, found myself thinking “he’s just like me fr” throughout the entirety of the book. sue me.
6. Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin
- this book had me on suicide watch. just kidding. but really i loved this book and it ripped my heart out and i think about it on and off. i just love James Baldwin’s writing and really respect him as a person and activist, which made it easy to lean into reading this and absorbing it the way i did. i heart gay tragedy.
7. We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman
- this book was so funny. it is about two best friends in their 40s (?) and one of them is dying. it goes through bits of their lives, families, and how love finds a way to flourish despite it all. i really loved this book and read it so quickly. it was just a fun, sad, and charming little read.
8. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
- i was unable to put this book down while i was reading it. and nothing even really happens, so that’s saying something. i was so busy with college and work but i was using every spare moment of free time—forfeiting my lunch breaks, extending my bed time—to read this lol. it is just so brilliantly written. i also wrote fanfic for it. i need Mrs Danvers so bad it makes me look stupid.
9. Pew by Catherine Lacey
- this was such a strange but deeply human story. i don’t even know how to describe it. it is such a quick read though and i definitely recommend that you check it out if you have time or feel so inclined.
10. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
- i am so late to this. read this for the first time earlier this month. yes i cried. leave me alone. this story is just so good and sweet and it gave me something akin to a warm hug or a kiss on the cheek.
11. Notes From Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky
- The Brothers Karamazov and Crime and Punishment are still sitting menacingly on my shelf, but i felt comfortable tackling this ≈130 page work of Dostoevsky’s as a means of dipping a noncommittal toe in lol. i really liked this book and, again, like with Catcher in the Rye, found myself relating to the narrator in an almost worrying capacity. the first 40 or so pages of this book that you have to get through before reaching the actual story can be a little grueling but i still had a good time and consider this to be a very good book.
12. Foster by Claire Keegan
- short and sweet at ≈90 pages. i supplemented my read by listening along to the audiobook at the same time. this is just such a meaningful and sad but strong story about a young Irish girl who is brought to live with some distant relatives for a summer. well worth the read if you have a moment to spare.
13. My Husband by Maud Ventura
- i loved this book. another worrying instance of relatability. reading this went by really quickly for me and i had a good time. i will say, i wish there were no epilogue. many such cases.
14. The Employees by Olga Ravn
- another short and sweet read at 125 pages, written as a compilation of “witness statements” that are either just a sentence long or spanning two pages. very interesting and strange, if a little confusing at first. but i loved it and knocked it out in a couple of hours during a lazy afternoon.
currently reading: i am listening to Tom Lake by Ann Patchett, which i am willing to predict right now that it is going to be a five star read.
i am also reading Harrow by Joy Williams. this book is indescribable. i am over halfway done and i couldn’t tell you a single thing about it. but it is incredibly written and somehow still engaging through the veil of confusion. i think this one may be a five star read for me as well, though i don’t know if others would say the same.
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michelletwatts · 6 months ago
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Blender - Animation
I have used alot of tutorials to try and create the animation that I was looking for. It has been really difficult and time intensive as I don't really have any experience with animation.
Hopefully I pass.
Animated Flower in blender
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Initially this was what I was going to try and construct. It took hours to try and construct each of the leaves as I had to get used to the keys in the program. I then had difficulty with the verticle add and didn't realise I would need them to create the tendrils. I progressed on and thought I would just be able to illuminate the flower. This tutorial included nodes and textures and using the clouds texture to have the leaves moving. I attempted to follow the tutorial but ended up not being able to complete as I had changed some of the constructs of the flower extruding and bevelling and changed the shape therefore wasn't able to select the outside. I did write some instruction down and tried to animate the leaves with empty to diplace the textures but I was unable to set up the keyframes or change it too linear. I gave up!
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Grass
I thought it would be great to add some real looking grass to the animation. I again followed a tutorial using particles. The first tutorial I did with the grass ended up looking like someone had just painted clumpy brush strokes everywhere. Even though I had changed the seed, and how many strands the lengths of the hair. The parent child combo I don't think worked they way I had intended.
So the next time I did it I used the advanced settings and changed the hair length, number of strands, changed the brownian and left it at the. It ended up a much better image of grass than what I initially had.
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I tried to animate parts but again I have found it really difficult.
Beehive and animated Bees
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This initially has taken be about 7 hours to complete. I am much more familiar with how the commands and how they now work in blender. I have been able to create this stylised beehive however again the struggle is real to try and capture and render the animation. Even adding the keyframes to have the bees moving has been no short of difficult. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I did have a look at the nodes but it was so complex and above my understanding of blender I had to stop and just attempt to do the basics.
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I am attempting to add the sun in there and another animal. But l we will see how it goes.
I was able to put in a background and add constraints.... to my little bees. in the constraints by changing the influence allows the bee to be located close to the bezier curve. The higher the influence the further away it is.
Touch Designer
One of the mistakes I think will touch designer is not really understanding what you are actually doing. I have repeated tutorials multiple times and then realised that I hadn't connected a node properly or something else would not display. Very frustrating when you actually don't understand the concept of the whole node system anyway.
Created a geometry instancing with tubes in a grid. The tubes are rotating in the grid in a sort of snake like fashion with multiple colours. Attempted to change it too a circle and the whole effect was gone. Quickly changed it back.
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The second option if tried was using the particle system to create an amazing animation. I thought I was struggling to export the video but I eventually got it working. I did attempt to
Krita
2D animation - I watch so many 2d animation videos watching toddler TV I was really inspired by the Bluey cartoon. Quite simple but really easy to follow. I have got a little bit lost along the way whilst trying to do my animation. I have found the process really difficult .
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Stop Motion
Watching the stop Motion on instagram inspired me to get all creative. I initially created clay pieces and separately created a litte stop motion video of the body parts coming together. Although I was okay it probably wasn't at the level we needed. I attempted to do another animation with a rabbit and some wire armature. The model kept breaking and was just to pliable. I made another rabbit and flowers and give it another go with more wire and a thicker armarture but again it wasn't as robust as it needed to be. Although the stop motion was okay just wasn't as flowing and blending as I liked. Having the characters walk in an upright position is extremely difficult without ways to hold them up.
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gludgenbell · 9 months ago
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How do you prevent burnout while working on a complex drawing?
Many breaks, and changing up the style
I try to make my art as interesting as possible to me which includes a LOT of brush changing (recently made my brush's color jitter crazy wack and now it's so much fun to see a myriad of colors as I draw)
Also, if I don't feel like doing lineart I try to avoid it and instead color under my sketch with a general idea to add lineart later
But also! I try very hard to take Breaks between my drawings now. I cook, I eat, I play a game, I go for a run, I workout, I sleep, or anything before I get back to drawing
It makes me come in feeling fresh
For many of my drawings, I feel motivated immediately after finishing one! That doesn't mean I can immediately start
I will do little drafts and thumbnails, or type out the idea of the drawing to put away for after, I find it helps me stay motivated
And also, back to BREAKS... lately I've been trying a system of a full drawing per week with no punishment if I can't make it
"Full drawing" as in full render, full color
Just one every week, if I can
That gives me 7 days, 168ish hours (just thinking about all the 24 together) to do one drawing - which may take anywhere from 4 to 40 hours!
I've learned to take my art slow, and to prioritize fun when I draw because I draw for fun
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tj-van-heerden · 9 months ago
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More on the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit enables us. "Enable" means: To render capable or able for some task.
Christians receive the Holy Spirit at salvation. The Holy Spirit enables us to live the Christian life and to have a living and active relationship with God. The Holy Spirit also enables us to do the work for God which He called us to do. The Holy Spirit enables us to understand the Bible and helps us to pray. He puts righteous attitudes in our hearts and puts righteous thoughts and guidance in our minds. The Holy Spirit enables us to develop the right character which will show to people the image or character of God, and God is glorified by it. People who have the Holy Spirit and truly follow Him, often find that people without the Spirit clash with them in many ways.
If you have not received a gift of the Spirit, pray to God and ask Him to give it to you. He will answer at the proper time. Then you can minister to others using your gift.
John 16:13 [WEB] However when he, the Spirit of truth, has come, he will guide you into all truth…
Matt 10:19, 20 [WEB] But when they deliver you up, don’t be anxious how or what you will say, for it will be given you in that hour what you will say. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.
Luke 4:18 [WEB] “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim release to the captives, recovering of sight to the blind, to deliver those who are crushed…
John 14:16 [WEB] I will pray to the Father, and he will give you another Counselor, that he may be with you forever: the Spirit of truth, whom the world can’t receive; for it doesn’t see him and doesn’t know him. You know him, for he lives with you, and will be in you.
John 15:26 [WEB] “When the Counselor has come, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will testify about me.
John 16:13 [WEB] However when he, the Spirit of truth, has come, he will guide you into all truth…
Acts 8:39 [WEB] When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught Philip away, and the eunuch didn’t see him any more…
Rom 8:6-9 [WEB] For the mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace; because the mind of the flesh is hostile towards God; for it is not subject to God’s law, neither indeed can it be. Those who are in the flesh can’t please God. But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if it is so that the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if any man doesn’t have the Spirit of Christ, he is not his.
Rom 8:14 [WEB] For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are children of God.
1Cor 6:11 [WEB] Some of you were such, but you were washed. But you were sanctified. But you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God.
Eph 4:30 [WEB] Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
2Tim 1:7 [WEB] For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.
Heb 10:29 [WEB] How much worse punishment do you think he will be judged worthy of who has trodden under foot the Son of God, and has counted the blood of the covenant with which he was sanctified an unholy thing, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?
1Pet 4:13, 14 [WEB] But because you are partakers of Christ’s sufferings, rejoice, that at the revelation of his glory you also may rejoice with exceeding joy. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed; because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. On their part he is blasphemed, but on your part he is glorified.
1John 4:2, 3 [WEB] By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit who confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit who doesn’t confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God, and this is the spirit of the Antichrist, of whom you have heard that it comes. Now it is in the world already.
1John 4:5, 6 [WEB] They are of the world. Therefore they speak of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God listens to us. He who is not of God doesn’t listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.
Gal 5:22, 23 [WEB] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith [or, faithfulness], gentleness, and self-control…
Eph 5:8-10 [WEB] For you were once darkness, but are now light in the Lord. Walk as children of light, for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth, proving what is well pleasing to the Lord.
Matt 10:34-36 [WEB] “Don’t think that I came to send peace on the earth. I didn’t come to send peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man at odds against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man’s foes will be those of his own household.
2Cor 6:14 [WEB] Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
1Cor 12:7-11 [WEB] But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the profit of all. For to one is given through the Spirit the word of wisdom, and to another the word of knowledge, according to the same Spirit; to another faith, by the same Spirit; and to another gifts of healings, by the same Spirit; and to another workings of miracles; and to another prophecy; and to another discerning of spirits; to another different kinds of languages; and to another the interpretation of languages. But the one and the same Spirit produces all of these, distributing to each one separately as he desires.
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inkedinsights · 1 year ago
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AFORDA’RENT: BREAKING STEREOTYPE
by MJ Aparecio
“Dealing with the problem of alternate vacancy of schedule as a student in Central Mindanao University”
 But before we came up with that idea, we asked them beforehand what problem they had as they were studying at the mentioned university. Someone said:
“I have struggles about the distance of each classroom assigned I have”.
other said,” The struggle of bandwidth interruption”.
“The distance of the market”       
“Financial problem”
Since we also go through similar things as students at the university mentioned earlier, we can connect to their challenges. However, we think that many of these answers are personal issues that we face daily as students.
But what captivates our attention is that several of our interviewees said that they have struggled regarding the alternate schedule that they have -especially with those people who did not avail to live in dormitories, apartments, or boarding houses and commute to go home daily and even those students who avail such thing but did not want to go to their perspective dormitory.
And that certain reason makes us decide as a team to render a “renting services”. We decided to come up with this idea for us also to help those kinds of students, as we also experiencing that kind of situation.
 Central Mindanao University is blessed to have such a widely plain area, with a great number of trees that help us also to decide on what kind of renting services we would offer.
A hammock, picnic mat as well as tent are the solution, we came up for the long hours of waiting for classes. Staying in the plain green grass area under the shed of trees is the comfort we can offer to the students with the help of hammocks, picnic mats, and tents that we serve.
After we came up with that plan, we decided to test the hypothesis that we had and again we interviewed a total of 19 people this time if our plan was effective, we asked the following:
Q1. Are you a commuter or a boarder?
Q2. Do you have a class after which you will have to wait one or three hours(vacant) for the next subject?
 Q3. On the range of 1-10, how helpful do you think it would be if you have someone to lend things like the mat, hammock(duyan), and tent?
Q4. If we were to open a rental service, what features would you like to add to it?
15 of them out of 19 are boarders and 4 of them are commuters. And all of them have one to three vacant hours for the next subject. In terms of range, 16 of them, or most of them voted for 10 on the scale, and the rest of them rated only 7. In additional rental service, some of them suggested, also adding an umbrella and some suggested bicycles, pillows, camping chairs and tables, charging stations, study table and, some suggested a motor renting, (which is far from our capability to cater), and there are also from our interviewee who did not put suggestions to add on.
We also came up with the plan of a water vending machine and delivery services, but we think that this idea was complicated since in vending machine we need electricity and a place to put the vending machine, as well as in delivery services we have the problem of the schedule, since we are students also, we cannot cater everyone in need especially when we also have classes.
Thus, we individually learned something:
Ellaine: I learned that doing business is not something to do lightly. It needs preparation and careful planning. You should also work together to form a group so that you can more easily think of a good business and so on. You should also be united and help each other so that the outcome of your plans is good.
Michelle: Planning a business is not easy to build It needs to be organized and have a proper plan if you need to continue and have a successful business. When it comes to naming a business, it is hard because you need to be sensitive and considerate to it. I have learned that business is important to explore and have an experience in it. We need to build a connection with other people to expand our knowledge about it, so in our group, it is nice to have a group that has a speaker and a listener.
Dexter: And the last I have learned and realized is that it is hard to find a problem and solutions, but I believe through teamwork, and group discussion it well helps us to identify or find a problem and get a solution.
Rolin: I learned that deciding on business is the most important part of it because it will affect the future of the business.
Calvin: The idea of everyone is important. Putting it into one will make a great impact on the business/ services we will make.
In conclusion, this venturing process of preparing a business was not easy. You need some thorough planning, and preparations (in terms of physical, mental, and most importantly financial capability). Making a business is a big risk to take because uncertainty is the only certain in the making. There is always an obstacle for every choice and uncertainty for every decision. But as Ken Singer has said ‘’ A startup is an act of rebellion’’.  So, rebel against your uncertainties and begin taking risks, go out of your comfort zone- for success begins with being uncomfortable.
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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years ago
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playing with fire (part 1)
word count: 23k
fluff, smut (warning: age gap, infidelity, roommate’s father)
(series masterlist)
“is there any other way you could pay?” the woman behind the desk asked, stout and soft spoken with sympathy in her eyes.
she probably has to have this conversation with students a lot, tell them that their tuition payment didn’t go through or that they’re not eligible for government support.
or that the athletics department needed more scholarship money, successfully rendering you, one of the many photography majors on campus, unable to pay for your last semester of college.
“a loan of some sort or another scholarship, maybe?” she tried to help, “i could send over an e-mail of ones you might be eligible for.”
you swallow the lump forming in your throat, attempting to calm all the anxiety and stress violently making its way through your body.
“y-yes, that would be great, thank you,” you barely manage to get out, hoping and praying to some unknown force above that you don’t burst into tears.
you were nearing the end of the fall semester, the last fall semester you ever anticipated of having, when you found out just last week that you were no longer eligible for your scholarship.
in a short, curt e-mail explaining that, while you kept up your gpa and never strayed from the requirements, they’ve maxed out their amount of funding and are looking to use that money elsewhere.
“can they do that!?” your best friend and roommate of four years yelps, gucci sunglasses atop her head as she stomps around your shared, off-campus apartment.
“they can’t seriously do that! you’ve been a straight a student since you started and now they wanna take it away?! before your last semester of senior year?!”
“eunbi, it’s not ideal but i’ve already come to terms with it,” you explain gently, leaving out the part where you did, in fact, have a break down right outside the bursar office only an hour ago. “i’ll just save up money and come back in the fall to finish.”
“that’s so not right or fair though!” she whines, something about the concept of not getting what she wants unfamiliar to your roommate.
you first met park eunbi during freshmen move in day, your two raggedy luggages and beat up backpacks an embarrassing contrast to the multiple louis vuitton travel bags she lunged in.
you were intimidated for all of three seconds, before she looked at you with a smile and threw her arms around you like a long lost best friend.
it was obvious she came from money, the way she spoke and carried herself so confidently before her parents came in and introduced themselves.
they were both gorgeous and tall and looked far too young to have an 18-year-old daughter, covered in fancy jewelry and expensive looking clothing.
her dad, who introduced himself as mr. park seonghwa, didn’t seem to bat an eye at your more humble appearance. he reminded you a lot of eunbi, honest and genuine in the way he was kind and nonjudgemental.
mrs. park seemed nice enough, too, though you could see the judgement behind her pretty eyes.
the way she sneered at your bags and looked down at your hands, so different from her and her daughter’s not covered in diamond bracelets or acrylic nails.
“did we just miss your parents?” she asked, her voice just as pretty and rich sounding as she appeared; you bet if she laughed, she’d had have that melodic, care-free laugh all rich women seem to have.
“oh, uh, yeah, i’m sorry,” you apologized, lying through your teeth with a shy smile and averting gaze - you had to move in by yourself, the same way you traveled here all alone with no one to send you off.
“it’s okay, we just thought it’d be nice to meet them,” eunbi’s father interjects, the smile on his handsome face causing your stomach to swoop - how is he a dad?
“we were gonna take eunbi to an early dinner before we left. do you wanna join us?”
“oh no, it’s okay, i’d hate to intru-”
“no, you’re coming, c’mon!” your new roommate whined, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the door. “we’ll be able to get a lot of dessert out of them. probably the whole menu if we wanted.”
and you saw that over the years, eunbi knew she could, in fact, get whatever she wanted from her parents. they had the money and the means and the fondness in their hearts for their only daughter.
but it never seemed to get to your friend.
she was always kind and thoughtful of others and never said or did anything to suggest she was just a brainless, spoiled rich kid.
even in your guy’s second year when she found out you were going to school on an academic scholarship, she didn’t care. she didn’t turn her nose up or think you were lesser than her for not having the funds; if anything, it only made her praise you more.
that you were smart and ambitious enough to work under the strict guidelines of a prestigious scholarship.
“i know it’s not fair,” you mumble, not wanting to cry or have another anxiety attack over this matter. “but it is what it is. i’ll figure it out.”
she lets out a dejected, defeated sigh so uncharacteristic of the girl, plopping down on her pink, fluffy bed and bringing you down with her.
“we’ll sell feet pics over winter break,” she concludes after a few minutes of silence, wrapping her arm around yours and curling her body into yours. “you know how much money we can get from that? and we have pretty feet,” she says, sticking her leg up and wiggling her red, painted toes.
there’s a little less tightness in your chest and a little heaviness lifted in your stomach as you let out a giggle, looking over at your best friend who truly got you through the last four years of school.
you really don’t know how you’d still be functioning if it weren’t for her.
“you’re sick.”
“i’m serious,” she giggles out, flipping on her side and causing the bed to bounce under you. “you’re still good with coming tomorrow, right? i told my parents you were.”
she had invited you to her house for the winter break this year, the girl not wanting you to spend a month alone in the apartment.
you’ve shared with her how strained your relationship with your parents has been, really, since birth. never seeing eye to eye to them and feeling as if they never had your best interests at heart.
when most kids get full ride scholarships, their parents are immensely proud. bragging about how smart they are and telling them how proud they were.
but your parents were the opposite.
they didn’t want you to up and leave them to pursue an education. they thought you were gonna stay with them forever, not go to college like them and help run the family business back home in your tiny little hometown.
it was your dream to go to college and get a degree, though, so that’s exactly what you did for yourself; but they saw it as a giant fuck you.
saw it as you thinking you were better than them and basically told you to never come back if you thought you were so much smarter and better off without them.
so you’d spent every winter or summer vacation in the dorms, this year finally being the time you accepted eunbi’s invitation to stay over - reluctantly.
“i packed all my stuff, yeah,” you mumble, hands twisted into one another nervously. “but... are you sure they’re okay with it? i don’t wanna intrude or be there if i’m not wanted.”
“y/n, please,” she whines, “my mom may be a raging bitch but you know i make the rules in that house.”
“that’s not what i meant,” you mutter immediately, looking to the girl with a small frown on your lips.
although it was no secret eunbi’s mom didn’t ever seem too fond of you, always sneering at your off-brand items or questioning the logistics of why exactly you needed a scholarship to afford college, you always tried to remain polite.
smile at her and greet her happily even though there was always a thick, palpable tension between you two.
“oh but it is,” she chuckles out, the girl far too aware of what a materialistic snob her mother is. “it’s fine, i know she’s a bitch. my dad’s just coming tomorrow anyway. i told him to bring one of the bigger cars so we can lay out in the back.”
you have to bite back a snarky comment about the fact there are multiple cars in question, though the look in your eye certainly gives it away. she can only giggle and shrug her shoulders, flopping onto her back as she tells you about how excited she is to be reunited with her boyfriend.
eunbi and jiwoon have been dating since their second year of high school, going to colleges only an hour away from each other; he was just as handsome as he was kind and good to her, leaving you with no other option but to love and support the both of them.
and you try to listen to her rambling that ensues, you really do, but your mind is swirling with some slight anxiety about staying with her family for a month.
you don’t wanna make her mom even more irritated, deal with the side eyes and passive aggressive comments and overall feeling of just not being wanted.
you don’t want eunbi to feel obligated to be with you 24/7, act as a cock block to her and her boyfriend who haven’t seen each other in almost six weeks.
and maybe, you don’t want your tiny, small, miniscule crush on mr. park to make you feel any more awkward than it does, wondering how a married man who has a daughter in college is still so handsome and alluring.
it also doesn’t help that he’s just so incredibly kind, always making everyone feel so comfortable and welcomed, it’d be hard not to just develop a little, secret crush on him.
“eunbi, who is that sexy ass man who just dropped you off?” one of your suite mates asks your roommate, everyone gathering back in front of the dorm building after winter break.
it was sophomore year and you spent a month in the quiet, almost eerie college dorms alone (apart from the ra down the hall). you were grateful for everyone to return, no matter how loud or catty things were about to become.
“yeah, for real. is that your new boyfriend? he’s hotter than the last one and i didn’t even think that was possible.”
“uhhh.. no,” eunbi says, shooting the crowd of girls with lustful eyes and curious glances a look of distaste. “that’s my dad.”
and that’s when a chorus of disbelief and inappropriate comments erupted from the group of college girls.
asking how a dad could look like that while hoping and praying he’s single.
inquiring about just how much her dad’s on campus and when’s the next time he’s gonna pick her up.
about how he’s definitely hotter than her boyfriend, with a more mature and sophisticated look than these college boys.
“are they fucking serious! like how disgusting? he’s my literal father!” eunbi rages once in the dorm room, sharing a few curse words and vulgar phrases at the girl’s before stomping away from them.
“and for them to say that shit in front of me? did they think i want to hear that?”
“i know, that was so sick,” you agree, because even though you, too, think he’s attractive, it’s not something you would ever verbalize to your friend.
“like... i know he’s younger than most dads, my parents had me when they were teenagers, but shit! how sick,” she rants, throwing down her heavy designer bags and flopping on her bed.
you can tell by the look on her face how much it truly bothers her, everyone always noticing her dad and making comments like that. she handles it well, she’s always able to handle herself well, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s something that worries her.
people getting close to her to get to her dad, even if it was teachers or other moms in elementary school or her friends when she got to college.
it’s one of the many reasons you would never give away your little crush on him - because it’s not only inappropriate and uncomfortable for her to know but there’s also no need to tell her.
because it’s not like it would go anywhere.
he’s a married man and your roommate’s father, a twisted, dark, forbidden fantasy that will stay in the walls of your head and never see the light of day - no matter how thrilling and fulfilling being with him would be.
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“eunbi, your dad’s gonna be here soon,” you yell into your roommate’s doorway, met with the sound of her groaned “five more minutes!” that you’ve been hearing for the past twenty.
she was on facetime with jiwoon when you went to bed around one, briefly waking to the sound of her girlish screams or high-pitched giggles three hours later; you wouldn’t be surprised if she only went to bed a few hours ago.
“you said five more minutes thirty minutes ago,” you say, stomping your way over before smacking her over the head with a pillow. she lets out a loud sigh before swatting you away, your surprisingly fast reflexes grabbing her wrist.
she peeks one eye open as a smirk covers her morning face, looking from you all dressed up and ready in your pink pleated skirt and white thigh high stockings, down to her wrist in your hold.
“that was kinda hot. and you look good. i don’t know how to act right now.”
“shut up and get your ass out of bed,” you demand, biting back a smile as you storm out of her room.
you’d been pacing around the apartment ever since you woke up at seven a.m., more and more unsettled about staying over her house as the time drew closer.
you checked to make sure you had enough clothes and chargers and skincare products for nearly an hour, finally settling the same purple suitcase you moved in with freshmen year near the door.
you hope mrs. park doesn’t notice, remembering the way she sneered at the wonky zipper and slightly stained bottom.
you also hope you can keep yourself in check, not get too nervous or flustered by eunbi’s exorbitant wealth or a new setting you don’t feel welcomed in or her hot ass father whose bones you wanna jump.
the knock at the door completely sobers you, jumping in your spot just in time to see eunbi fly across the living room to get to the door. there’s a big, happy smile on her face, ripping open the door and greeting her father in typical eunbi fashion.
“are those for me?” she asks, snatching the red box from his hands.
excitement bubbles inside the girl as she unveils twelve chocolate covered strawberries, a speciality at one of the local dessert shops just a few miles from her home.
“you shouldn’t have, dad, really. i’m much too tired to appreciate this.”
the man can only look at his daughter with a look of disdain and affection, waking up to an extremely passive aggressive text that she’d really appreciate an early morning treat from her favorite place ever and that it’d really inspire her to be ready.
but as he can currently see, given the state of her hair and pajamas pants, it didn’t at all act as a motivator.
“then maybe i should just-” but upon her father’s hand reaching out to grab the box of strawberries, the girl brings it to her body and runs away, yelling that her bags are packed and she’s just gonna wash her face.
he looks to you with a mock annoyed expression, your heart jumping in your chest as you send him a small, polite smile.
“how do you deal with her, y/n?” he asks, a smirk on his face rising as you let out a soft, slightly forced giggle - this man looks too good for his own good at ten o’clock in the morning.
“don’t talk shit about me!” she yelps before you can even think to say something, a smile lighting up his face again before he nods his head down the hall.
“i’ll bring down your girl’s bags,” he says, his tall, large frame coming toward you making your knees feel slightly wobbly.
you swear you see his eyes roam over you for the shortest of seconds, down to your shirt and exposed legs before back to your face, until he’s looking into your eyes questioningly.
totally not like someone who just checked out their daughter’s roommate - this is what you feared, your own delusionals and attraction making your crazy little brain see something that’s not there.
“her bedroom’s down that hall?”
you resist the urge to swallow nervously, begging yourself to snap out of it and remind yourself you have to deal with the man for a month. a month of his dark, piercing eyes and bright, white smile and skin so smooth and clear, it’s far too easy to forget he’s almost forty years old.
“yeah,” you barely manage to get out. “i-i can help and bring down mine.”
“no, it’s okay,” he insists, “help in getting eunbi ready. you know she’ll delay us thirty more minutes.”
you let out another strained chuckle as you nod your head, finally letting out the breath you’ve been holding when you hear his footsteps disappear down the hall and into her room.
as long as you distance yourself from him, not look him in the eye or let any sort of idea get in your head that an older, married man could want you back, this will be fine.
it’ll be a nice, calm, relaxed break actually full of interaction and socialization opposed to your usual lonely bubble of solitude.
eunbi’s not making that very easy though, when twenty minutes later, she’s opening the back door of her father’s black g-wagen and sprawling out on the black leather seats.
“where’s y/n supposed to go, eunbi?” seonghwa asked, the fatherly tone is his voice causing eunbi to let out a huff; the only time you see eunbi’s spoiled tendencies come out is around her father, the girl knowing he’ll do anything and everything for her.
and apparently, so will you.
sitting in the front seat of her car, next to her extremely hot father you’re trying to stay calm around, while she sleeps soundly in the backseat - if she didn’t invite to stay at her home, meals and bed and transportation free, you’d say she has to owe you.
“was she up all night talking to jiwoon?” mr. park asked, the past few moments of silence just as comforting as they were terrifying. it felt awkward to you, extremely tense and full of suspense, but you knew it was completely normal.
you bite down on your lip, looking back at eunbi sleeping soundly on the seat, even prepared with a fuzzy white blanket. you let out a soft giggle when you see her mouth open, the slightest bit of drool hanging from her mouth and threatening to spill on the dark leather.
“she might’ve been,” you mutter, a breathy laugh leaving her father that causes you to sneak a glance at him.
there’s not a hint of a wrinkle or imperfection on his glowing skin, black hair hanging in his face and red lips quirked into a content smile. that’s something you always noticed about him, despite his dark appearance and looming figure, he always appears to be happy.
smiles and laughs and never gives anyone without his same wealth a dirty glance - he treats everyone the same and that’s another reason you’ve taking a liking to him, not just because he’s the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life.
“y/n?” he asks, your intrusive thoughts being ripped away at the sound of his voice calling your name.
your eyes move to his and he’s watching you in slight amusement, a rampant blush creeping up on your cheeks at the way you’ve been caught. you’re quick to look away, shake your head and let out an awkward chuckle and apology.
you miss the way his eyes roam your side profile, a delightful smirk and feeling in his chest blooming before he speaks again.
“how was your semester?”
“it was good,” you say, hands placed nervously in your lap. “a lot of work on top of an internship but it was good.”
“and you girls are almost done,” he hums lowly, one hand atop the steering wheel while his eyes focus on the highway in front of him. “eunbi’s been talking about a combined graduation party since the moment you guys met.”
you let out a small laugh as you remember eunbi’s plan since your second semester of freshmen year, ignoring the twinge of sadness in your stomach.
you could’ve never anticipated delaying your college career when you first received your scholarship, happy and proud and eternally grateful for the opportunity.
but you suppose you’re lucky enough to have gotten this far, and delaying one last semester is nothing compared to people who never get to go to college - but it still makes you feel upset.
you think you have the right to feel disappointed and sad, the lingering sick feeling in your stomach making you feel nauseous.
“is it okay if i open the window for a second?” you mumble to mr. park, the man looking over your face.
he presses down on the passenger window button immediately, your face met with cold air as relief floods through your body.
“are you okay? do you get car sick?” he asks, remembering how much eunbi used to get car sick (on the rare occasion she wasn’t passed out during a road trip).
“not usually,” you mumble, resting your head on the side of the door.
then again, i’m not usually freaking out about making tuition money or repressing my violent attraction to my roommate’s father.
seonghwa watches as you close your eyes for a few moment, allowing the cold, windy air to hit your face. he couldn’t help but notice the pinkish tint to your cheeks, suppressing the urge for his eyes and thoughts to wander.
you’re a college girl in the prime of her life and his daughter’s best friend, he’d be a fool to think you were blushing and nervous because of him - but he also doesn’t remember you looking like.... this.
so pretty and dressed up and pink in the face as you check him out with a soft and curious look in your eye.
“maybe try to take a nap,” he suggests, his gaze lingering back onto the road so he doesn’t look at your exposed legs. “i’ll pull off at a rest stop to get you ginger ale.”
“that’s not necessary, mr. park,” your sweet voice says, something about it causing his insides to jump - he definitely doesn’t remember you sounding like that. “i’ll be okay. just need the window open for a little longer.”
you spend the next few minutes with the cold, december wind blowing through the car, your back pressed against the comfortable seat behind you. a chill runs through your body, goosebumps rising on your exposed thighs, but it feels better than the alternative.
potentially panicking or vomiting due to current stress of your life.
your gaze shifts to the man beside you, whether it be to check him out or ask if he’s cold unknown to you.
“are you okay with the-”
the words are stuck in your throat when you see his eyes aren’t on the road but your exposed, goose-bumpy thighs, the white lace of your thigh high stockings and pink skirt leaving little to the imagination.
you wish you could see the look in his eye, if it’s judgemental and shameful or full of lust and curiosity. if he’s wondering what you have on just a few inches under your skirt and if that’s something he even thinks about.
or maybe he’s just looking because it’s there - your skirt blowing in the wind and him caught off guard by the sight right there in his passenger seat.
“um, i think i’m good now,” you mumble, watching from your peripheral as he shifts in his seat and tightens his hold on the steering wheel.
“alright, let me know if you wanna stop.”
you bite down on your lip as you nod your head, keeping your eyes on the view in front of you.
the faint sounds of eunbi snoring behind you act as a way to ground you, remind you that these thoughts and feelings you’re having can’t stay.
maybe you have to get it our of your system now, take all the looks you can and feel all the hopefulness your delusional brain needs until you act as if eunbi’s father is a mean, disgusting, grotesque man.
not someone who gets your heart and body pounding.
you’re not sure how many songs play on the radio until you both are talking again, seonghwa looking in the rearview mirror to see his daughter still passed out on the seats.
“do you think she’ll sleep the whole time?”
he hope for his sake, she doesn’t.
you look back at eunbi sleeping soundly, the drool previously trickling down her mouth successfully making a pool on the black leather.
“probably,” you chuckle out lightly. “i have a feeling she went to bed around six.”
“shit,” he laughs out, remembering the days he used to be able to pull all nighters in college or dreaded the idea of waking up in the morning. “i can’t remember the last time i was able to stay up past one.”
“you’re not even that old, mr. park,” you tease, not sure where you got the balls to say that and feeling, at least for a few seconds, that you overstepped; but then he lets out a deep, amused chuckle and it causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
“not that old, huh?” he quips, your tooth sinking into your lip at the tone of his voice. “you know i’m turning 40 in a few months, right?”
you crane your neck to look at the man in the driver’s seat, swallowing thickly when you see his eyes are already on you. there’s a certain type of lightness and teasing in them that you’ve never seen before, the man always happy and jovial but never like this.
never looking so... teasing and playful.
“yeah,” you say with a growing smirk, not being able to help your own nervous excitement. “that doesn’t seem too bad.”
the deep, low chuckle that leaves him causes your stomach to swoop, eyes wide and the small smile on your face causing him to look over you once more.
it’s shameless and bold but neither of you seem to care in that moment.
“i’ll keep that in mind,” he says, deep brown eyes piercing through yours before his face turns teasing and.. appropriate.. “the next time eunbi tries to call me an old man or something.”
“right,” you chuckle out, cheeks burning and heart pounding as you allow yourself to break eye contact.
the ride to eunbi’s house is just over two hours, hoping and praying that it goes by quickly - because you’re not sure how much longer you’ll be able to be alone, or mostly alone, with him.
you’re thinking too much into his words and his gaze and the way he makes you feel, making you silly enough to believe that, maybe, a part of him wants you too.
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the second you arrived at eunbi’s, you had already felt unwelcomed.
not only because of mrs. park, who just about sneered at your presence in her exquisite home, but because of the dozens of other socialites in the immaculately white living room.
it looked and felt almost like a hospital. a white color scheme with black accents, extremely cold and spotless - the only bit of color was in eunbi’s room where it felt like you could actually breathe.
“i’m sorry, i told her not to throw her fucking gathering today,” eunbi complained, grumpy from her nap but still happy to finally be home.
“a bunch of stuck up snobs, i swear to god. they either have to get the stick lodged so far up their asshole removed or get dicked down by their lousy excuses of-”
“eunbi,” you hear her father’s deep voice reprimand, the girl not even feeling the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment for talking that way in front of her father.
“oh, c’mon, dad, you know it’s true!” she whines in a whispered tone. “they’re the worst! and she knew me and y/n were coming today, do you really think that wasn’t a coincidence?”
because, as far as eunbi thinks, she has sinking suspicions that her mom did this solely to make you uncomfortable.
she had already been hesitant to let you stay in the first place, had eunbi not gone full on bitch mode and stubbornly proclaimed she’d spend the break with you at the apartment.
but you didn’t have to know that.
“i don’t care, it’ll just be my first christmas without my family, mom, who cares about that,” she had said, all types of manipulative and toxic behavior that she learned from the best.
she’s sure her mother was sweet and good at one point in her life, she wouldn’t have ended up with her father in the first place if she wasn’t, but money changes people.
wealth and greed and having the power to get anything you want because you flash a stack of money around or write out a check.
“i told her to have them out by dinner,” he said, his eyes moving from eunbi to you, standing there with tense shoulders and a shy, uncomfortable look on your face.
“you’re more than welcomed here, y/n,” he said, his voice low and full of kindness as he stands in eunbi’s doorway. “don’t worry about it, okay?”
you resist the urge to pout at the touched feeling in your chest, looking from the man to eunbi who’s nodding at her dad’s words.
“thank you, mr. park,” you say, a phrase he swears has never effected him this deeply.
and because of that, he’s quick to haul ass out of there. tells you guys that dinner will be ready around seven and to come down whenever.
you and eunbi spend that time in her room to unpack both of your things and watch movies, her king sized bed nearly lulling you to sleep until her loud squeal and bounce of the bed causes you to jump in shock.
“y/n, don’t be mad at me please,” she whines directly in your face, all wide-eyed and cutesy as she looks at you with mock innocence.
“what did you do?” you mumble tiredly, pushing her away with the smallest of sneers.
“i’ll be back for dinner, i promise, but... is it okay if i go to jiwoon’s for a little?” she asks, cocking her head to the side before shimming closer to you. “i have to get railed so bad.”
“jesus christ, eunbi,” you snort, pushing her away again and burying your face in the pillow - you’ve never met someone who overshares as much as she does.
she plops down on her back with an unabashed giggle, popping right back up like an annoying little dog and looking at you with a smile.
“of course you can go, i’m not gonna hold you hostage here,” you say when she pulls your face away, looking at you so expectantly and sweetly, you couldn’t say no if you wanted.
“okay, but i don’t want you thinking that i’m gonna ditch you this whole time. i’m really not, y/n,” she pouts, knowing that was one of the reasons you were apprehensive about coming - that and her bitch of a mother. “i just miss him.”
a pout falls on your face as you look at eunbi and the genuine look on her face.
“bi, i’m serious, go. i want you to,” you insist, moving a piece of her tangled hair away from her face. “we were just gonna be up here anyway. i’ll probably take a nap, i was about to fall asleep before your loud ass-”
“thank you, thank you, thank you,” she says, pulling you into a tight hug before jumping off her bed and rushing toward her door. “i’ll be back a lot more calm and happy. oh, why, you ask? because i’m about to get my back blown the fuck ou-”
you thank god for your impeccable aim, promptly whacking eunbi in the face with one of her pillows.
“get out of here,” you groan, eunbi throwing the pillow back with a smile on her face.
“sweet dreams, y/n!”
you let out a sigh when she closes her door, falling back onto her bed with a soft plop.
you were definitely tired from your anxious pacing this morning but aren’t sure how much sleep you’re gonna get right now, tonight or for the rest of the month.
knowing that you’re unwelcomed by one person, extremely attracted to another and silently betraying the person you should be most loyal too - but as long as it just stays in your head, and you remind yourself that there’s no way mr. park could feel anything back to you, it’ll be fine.
you’ll just get by quietly and smoothly at dinners or in passing through the hallways, enjoy eunbi’s comfortable king-sized bed and the fact that you don’t have to spend yet another holiday alone.
reruns of drake and josh play in the background, keeping your giggles quiet as drake soaks his feet in lizard pee. you feel your eyes grow heavy the more episodes you watch, the shitty laugh track and loud, bickering brothers eventually lulling you to sleep.
it takes about five knocks on the door to eventually stir you, your eyes fluttering open to see mr park’s figure in the doorway. you can only stare at the man as you adjust to him, taking in his tall, slim figure just a few feet away from you.
taking in the way his white shirt clings to his body, broad shoulders and slim torso on display in a way that makes you wish you could see, just for a second, what he looks like underneath that a-
“sorry if i woke you,” his deep voice hums, the slightest bit of amusement in his voice that causes your cheeks to warm. “i didn’t think you’d be sleeping at seven p.m.”
“no, it’s okay,” you stammer out, sitting up in eunbi’s bed. “i... i don’t even know when i fell asleep, to be honest.”
he looks at the screen to see drake and josh playing, a smirk pulling at his lips as his gaze shifts back to you.
“it’s funny,” you defend with a mumble, a deep chuckle leaving his mouth that causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach - he’s far too handsome, everything about him is just far too attractive, even in his laugh.
“that’s what eunbi claims,” he says, remembering all the years of his daughter forcing him to watch ridiculous shows.
despite his daughter’s outgoing nature, she never had a lot of friends growing up.
there was once a small group of girls she hung out but they quickly drifted apart throughout high school, leaving eunbi really only with him and her boyfriend.
the boyfriend who seonghwa really didn’t wanna like out of principal but seeing that the kid really does love his daughter quickly coming around.
“speaking of, where is she? jiwoon’s?”
“yeah,” you tell him, settling back into the pillows and stretching your arms out in front of you. “she said she’d be back for dinner.”
“well she’s wrong, as usual, because dinner’s ready,” he quips playfully, the smirk pulling at his lips causing you to smile back at him. you swallow nervously when his eyes roam over your face, your own gaze trained on him before you see his mouth start to move again.
“do you want me to bring some up for you? or you’ll come down?”
he can see the apprehension on your face immediately, fear crossing your eyes and your arms folding into each other uncomfortably. he tries to ignores the way your soft white sweater dips by your chest, a hint of perky cleavage just barely showing that causes his dick to twitch in his pants.
he doesn’t know when this happened.
he didn’t know when he became a pervy old man who checked out college girls with his wife just downstairs and the knowledge that you’re his daughter’s friend.
“i’ll come down,” you say, surprising him just as he was about to insist he brings some up for you. “she’ll probably be back soon anyway.”
but five minutes pass by, then ten, then twenty and eunbi’s still not home - it’s just you, seonghwa and mrs. park at the long, glass dining room table.
white chairs with high backs and comfortable cushions to match the immaculate, hospital-like color scheme and environment; truthfully, you’ve never been more terrified to eat a plate of chicken parmesan in your life.
the sound of utensils scraping on the china and the crackling of the fireplace a room over are the only noises heard throughout the home, mrs. park taking a swig of wine and gently placing it on the table with a light clack.
“so, y/n,” she finally says, breaking the tension with her rich-sounding, nasally voice. “how has school been, dear? you’re an... art major, am i remembering that correctly?”
“uh, photography, yeah,” you smile tensely, trying to ignore the judgment in her voice.
“ah, so you never switched over to business then,” she hums, her wine glass back in hand as her dark, gorgeous eyes look you over.
you bite the inside of your cheek as you feel a pink flush cover your face, faintly remembering your roommate saving you a few semesters ago when her mom was grilling you about picking a more practical and useful major.
“she can do whatever she wants, mom,” eunbi eventually snapped, “whether she does business or photography or even liberal arts is none of your business.”
“no,” you mutter out, dropping your gaze to look over the intricate pattern on the table. “i thought about it but it wasn’t something i wanted.”
“so you didn’t want something practical? or useful?” she asks, using those two words yet again while cocking her head to the side with a perfectly plucked eyebrow.
“a business degree would’ve been great, y/n. everyone always has connections to somewhere, you could’ve found a job right out of college.”
you bite back the urge to tell her no. that not everyone has connections to multi billion dollar companies or numbers of ceos in their phones or the ceo of a tech company as their next door neighbors.
but instead, the same way eunbi defended you against her mother, seonghwa does against his wife. gives you a soft, sympathetic side eye before placing his larger hand on his wife’s.
“there are tons of jobs in photography too, honey,” seonghwa says, his voice so warm and soft and welcoming compared to hers even despite the slight edge in it.
“and she can travel to build her portfolio. it’s a fantastic opportunity to explore the world and make money. is there a particular type of photography you’d wanna do?”
you feel yourself relax slightly, a small smile on your face as you nod your head toward the striking couple.
“i would love to be a wedding photographer actually,” you mumble, a romantic at heart who’s read and watched far too many novels and romcoms.
“taking pictures of all those moments would be really fun, i think. like when the groom sees the bride for the first time or just everyone dancing and having fun. weddings are usually happy and i like to photography happy things.”
“that sounds perfect for you then,” seonghwa smiles, his brown eyes lighting up and making you feel even more at ease.
“i think you’ll do great, y/n. and you only have a semester left, right? maybe you and eunbi you could travel for the summer before you start your jobs.”
you ignore the swish of dread and anxiety in your stomach at the mention of next semester, instead choosing to smile softly and nod your head at the man.
“i think she’d love that,” you giggle out, knowing damn well your roommate already has an extensive list of cities she wants to visit before ‘real life begins.’
“and how do your parents feel about everything?” mrs. park asks, making your stomach twist with even more dread and discomfort. “are they proud?”
you wish you could fold in on yourself right now, swallowing the growing, nervous lump in your throat.
because not only is she making you incredibly uncomfortable right now, with her harsh looks and topic of conversation and snide little tone, she just mentioned the people you haven’t spoken to since you left home at eighteen.
you don’t know what to say, you have the slightest bit of concern you might throw up on her, when the loud, chipper voice of your roommate floats through the cold, silent house.
“i’m back!” her chipper voice yelps, sock-clad feet running through the house and sliding on the marble floor. “what’d you guys make?”
“you’re late, eunbi,” seonghwa mumbles warningly, an innocent smile on her face as she picks up her plate of food and plops down next to you.
“am i? or are you girls just early?”
“i’m not a girl.”
“it’s a figure of speech, father,” eunbi says, smiling playfully at her father before turning to you.
she’s able to tell the second she sees your face that you’re uncomfortable, the pink flush still lingering on your face and the tenseness of your shoulders making her frown.
“i’m sorry you were alone with them,” she whispers, genuine sorrow in her wide, mock-innocent eyes. “i got held up. or... down, rather, but i tried to leave on time. i promise.”
“uh huh, i bet,” you mumble back, fighting back a smile despite your discomfort.
because eunbi has always had something about her that made it impossible to stay mad at her, her carefree, unfiltered way of communicating that made being her friend so easy.
even if, sometimes, you wanted to kill her.
“so mom,” eunbi quips, turning her soft gaze to you before looking over her mother.
“what was with your little group of bitchy housewives today? you couldn’t have had them over any other day? what kind of christmas disgrace is that?”
“eunbi...” seonghwa chastises lowly, the girl with her brow already quirked and eyes narrowed.
“i can do whatever i want in my home, eunbi. are you forgetting how things work around here?”
“how could i, when i’m met with thirty middle-aged women with botox out the ass in my home the second i get back from school?” she asks, “you didn’t think me and y/n would wanna spend the break, like, resting?”
“you ran off to your boyfriend’s the second you got here,” mrs. park bites back, her glass of wine empty as she pinches the bridge of her nose. “left your friend all alone in your room. what did i tell you about leaving... guests unattended in the house?”
the accusation and direction of conversation is quickly making you feel uncomfortable, your head turned down in your lap and leaving your cheeks aflame.
she’s making it sound like you would steal something in her home for christ’s sake, like you’re not a guest who’s dreaded coming here due to this very reason.
you block out the back and forth between eunbi and her mom, a few more seconds of yappy feminine voices before a deeply spoken “enough,” echoes through the dining room.
you even look up at the sound, watching as mr. park’s eyes rest on you. his eyes narrow as he takes in the sight of your red cheeks, his gaze shifting from you to his daughter to his wife beside him.
“y/n’s here for a month and we’re gonna make her feel welcomed the entire time. if you two are gonna fight, don’t do it at the dinner table.”
“but dad, she totally-”
“maybe you should’ve taught your daughter-”
“no more,” seonghwa growls, a sense of finality in his tone that causes the room to go silent.
you can tell your friend is unbothered by the reprimanding, shoveling food into her mouth and sipping from her wine glass completely unbothered.
sometimes you wish you could be more like her, so unfazed by conflict or loud voices or the strained relationship with a parent.
eunbi was always open with you about the rocky relationship with her mother, saying more than once to you that if it weren’t for her father, she would’ve long cut off any contact with her.
she had never really been there for eunbi growing up, having nannies and chefs take care of her for most of her life - it was her nanny of fifteen years who taught her how to walk and talk, was there with her for all the milestones she met through infancy, childhood and even adolescence.
but even then, eunbi was nonchalant and carefree about it.
saying that she’s not gonna waste her time being upset over it when she knows her mom doesn’t think about her at all. it makes your heart hurt for eunbi, grateful that the girl at least has a good relationship with her father and boyfriend.
and you, of course. you consider her your best friend and you know she does the same - even if sometimes, you wanna pull her hair out.
“i’m gonna go the food store tomorrow, eunbi, so if you and y/n want anything, just text it to me.”
“oooh can we come!” she squeals, knocking her arm into yours like an excited kid in a candy store. “we wanna try making our cookies again.”
“you’re gonna bake?” the girl’s father asks, a look of doubt on his face that causes you to bite back a smile.
“no, we’re gonna bake,” she corrects with snark, “y/n measures the ingredients and stirs, i put it in the oven and watch.”
“right, silly me,” the man hums, a smirk pulling at his lips the more he sees his daughter get irritated. “but of course you girls can come,” he says, his eyes flicking to you for just a few seconds too long.
you can only look back with a small smile, a quiet “thank you,” leaving your mouth that you’re positive he doesn’t catch.
(he did).
you help clean your plate off before you and eunbi go up to her room later that night, once her door’s closed and she’s sitting down shooting her a look of disdain.
“i know you’re mad, okay, i’m sorry, i really am!” she whines, holding her arms out for you to come over. “i tried to leave but he wouldn’t let me. he just kept wanting to-”
“i don’t need the details you sick freak!” you yelp, going over and plopping down on her bed. “ugh, it was just... so awkward. your mom hates me. she was utterly perturbed that i didn’t switch my major to business.”
“ugh, she’s a crotchety bitch i swear,” eunbi says, falling onto her back and looking at you with sorrow in her eyes. “i’m sorry, i really am. i won’t leave you alone with her again, i promise.”
you quirk an unconvinced eyebrow her way, eyes full of doubt and distrust before she throws herself on you and squeals that, at least, now you can have a scary movie marathon without any interruptions.
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it seems you also probably should’ve made her promise last night that you’d never be alone with her father either; it didn’t even occur to you at the time, not thinking that she’d really ditch you two days in a row.
but alas, jiwoon’s car pulled up when all three of you were walking out of the house to the g-wagon for the trip to the food store, her shooting you an apologetic look and whispered condolences in your ear.
“i’m technically not breaking my promise because my dad’s nice,” she mumbled, the feeling in your body more nervous and aroused than it is angry and upset.
but she could’t know that.
“and when i break your head? then what, eunbi?”
“i love you,” she giggles in your ear, the playful tone of your voice letting her know she got off the hook again. “it’ll be fine. my dad’s a good man. he wouldn’t ever talk shit to you the way my mom does.”
little does she know how much you want her dad to talk shit to you.
talk to you in a way that’s casual and playful and teasing, like the hints of it you’ve seen in the car or in eunbi’s room when you were alone last night. you just want him to look at you with the slightest bit of something, even though it’s wrong.
not only because of his wife, no matter how big a bitch she is, but because of-
“do you still wanna come with me?”
seonghwa’s voice pulls you away from your thoughts, looking to the man dressed in a long, black jacket and expensive loafers. he looks far too fancy and delectable for a trip to the grocery store.
eunbi is long gone by now, her giggles and carefree run down the driveway and into her boyfriend’s car leaving you and mr. park alone, with only the blue sky and crisp air as your witness.
him looking you over hopefully, with a twinge of teasing and longing in his gaze.
you looking at him full of nerves and excitement, biting down on your lip as you nod your head timidly.
“s-sure, if that’s okay,” you say, looking from him to his car just a few feet away. “it’d be better than sitting in eunbi’s room again.”
a handsome smile crosses his face as he nods his head, heart pounding and throat constricting as you watch him walk toward the car.
he walks around the front of a smaller, sleek suv, your own eyes watching in confusion until he opens the passenger side door.
you can only stare blankly, head cocked to the side as you really start to wonder if this man is about to make you drive his car costing more than your life.
“are you getting in, y/n?” he asks, an amused smile pulling at his lips - almost like he’s making fun of your nervous, intimidated disposition.
you shake your head of the confusion, cheeks flushing in the cold december air as you do an awkward jog toward the car. you dip in beside him as your body hits the cool leather, craning your neck to shoot him a small, grateful smile.
your faces are closer than you anticipated, breath catching in your throat as his gaze watches you closely.
he doesn’t say a word or move a muscle, taking a few moments for his eyes to roam your face and body before mumbling to buckle up.
you wish you knew how long the drive to the store would be, as it would slightly settle you and the thick, awkward tension in the air. it appears to be enough time for the heat to go on, warm air blowing from the vents before he asks if you want your seat heater on.
“oh, sure, thank you,” you mumble, a smile quirking on his lips as he presses down on the small circular button.
more silence lingers in the air as the trees outside you pass by, the bright winter sun and blue sky not making it feel like christmas is only a few days away.
you can’t remember the last time the holidays have actually felt like it, though,  all the lonely days blending into one and feeling as if they were the same.
maybe this year, because you’re surrounded by eunbi and her family, it’ll feel less lonely. maybe you’ll actually enjoy yourself and find that you’ve missed out when you denied her invitation each and every-
“i’m sorry about my wife last night.”
those are words you don’t expect so they shock you even more, looking at the older man beside you with a wide-eyed, confused gaze. his dark eyes are expressionless and casual on the road, one hand on the wheel while the other rests beside him.
“i... what do you mean?” you ask, knowing damn well you understand his apology - and given the unamused look he throws you, he knows you’re full of shit too.
“i don’t think she means to judge you so harshly,” he begins, his deep, smooth voice full of sympathy and softness. “it’s not her place to question your education or major, so i just want to apologize for her.”
“that’s not necessary, mr. park,” you insist, shaking your head as a small, breathy chuckle leaves you. “and it’s not like i haven’t heard it before.”
because no one is ever too confident in any of the arts being your main source of income or profession; even your own parents, although it really wouldn’t matter what you would have chosen, haven’t been supportive.
and you especially haven’t missed the looks of pity or distaste when you tell people on campus or at parties in the frat house, future business leaders or stem majors looking at you like just said the sky is hot pink.  
“well that’s just ridiculous,” seonghwa says, ripping you from your thoughts so you can roam over his strong, handsome face. “it’s a great field to work in and something you’re passionate about. that’s what matters most.”
he can tell by the way your cheeks flush that you’re slightly embarrassed and he can’t help but find it endearing, licking over his lips as his mind begins to wander.
wonder about what other parts of you could flush so easily or what else he could say to really make the pinkness deepen.
“i guess,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders as you look at the passing oak trees and mansions.
“and... what you said last night about traveling to build my portfolio,” you begin, shocked by the words continuing to leave your mouth. “that’s something i’ve thought about doing. i think it’d be really fun, regardless if i did wedding photographer or not.”
“yeah?” he asks, the smile on his face causing your head to jump. “i think that’d be good, too. where would you wanna go first?”
your lips purse to the side as you think it over, a love for traveling anywhere you could but having an especially strong pull toward the tropics.
“cancun or the maldives,” you answer, the financial aspect of the trip leaving it most likely impossible for you. “it’ll probably never happen, because i’d have to sell my first born, but i’ve always wanted to go somewhere like that. somewhere tropical and fun.”
seonghwa bites his tongue about his multiple trips there, instead letting out a chuckle that causes butterflies to erupt. his eyes are too drawn to your body in the front seat, legs crossed and arms over your lap politely.
“you never know,” he hums, ripping his gaze away before you catch his gawking. “you might get there one day, after being the best wedding photographer the city has to offer.”
“oh, please,” you glggle out, cheeks flushing despite the absurdity of the comment.
you catch the smile that creeps on his face, the same handsome, carefree smile you saw in the car last time.
you try not to let it get to you, let your brain convince you that maybe he likes hanging out with you alone as much as you like it too.
“i’m serious,” he says, the earnest tone of his voice slipping into dad mode in a way he doesn’t even realize. “your parents must be proud.”
you bite down on your lip as you let out a soft, almost scornful, chuckle, a quietly mumbled “yeah,” leaving your mouth that causes his eyebrows to pull together.
he always thought it was a little suspicious that in the four years eunbi has known you, she’s never told him about your parents; as far as he knows, she’s never even seen them.
“she has her scholarship and stuff so she doesn’t really need them,” his daughter said one day, the two of them discussing why you were spending yet another break alone in the apartment.
“but they don’t want her home for the holidays? you told her she was welcomed, right?”
“ugh, about a thousand times,” his daughter groans in the seat, throwing herself against the window dramatically. “i basically begged her, dad, but she said she didn’t wanna intrude. i’m telling you it’s because mom is the biggest fucking-”
“eunbi...”
“you know it’s true!” she squeals, seonghwa biting his tongue in an effort to be the bigger and better parent. “i don’t even know why you guys got married.”
but that’s what happens with teen pregnancies and rich families. how they were destined to marry anyway, due to their parents companies and stupid business politics.
it was one drunken night at his dad’s company party and a broken condom that sealed his fate with finality - made him go from a single, carefree high school student to a married businessman with a child just two short years later.
his wife was good at one point he likes to think, remembering she was gorgeous and sassy and not like the other girls who would drop to their knees for him.
but marriage and a child and just life quickly caught up with them, already trapped in a loveless, pointless marriage by the time he hit 25.
he’d be lying if he said he didn’t stay for eunbi, that they both didn’t stay for eunbi throughout her childhood and now just grew too used to being an unhappy married couple who live separate lives.  
there was never any reason for them to divorce though, no one serious in his or his wife’s lives and the hassle of money and disputing houses and cars and assets far too draining.
“i don’t believe i’ve ever met them,” seonghwa says, pulling into the store parking lot to see it’s less crowded than he suspected it’d be. “what do they do?”
you couldn’t imagine anything more unbearable than disclosing to your friend’s hot dad who you may or may not have feelings for about the messed up relationship with your parents.
it just screams daddy issues, which might say a lot about your very attraction to him in the first place.
“they run a little restaurant back in my home town. it’s about three hours from campus, which is why i don’t really go home for breaks.”
seonghwa hums lowly, nodding his head as he looks at you at a stop sign.
you’re unnerved by the way his eyes roam you, like he can see signs of you being uncomfortable about your parents and wants to know why - but why would he care? you’re only his daughter’s roommate.
“do you miss seeing them?”
you lick over your lips nervously, watching as his eyes darken every so slightly.
he watches each and every of your movements carefully, so in tune with your reactions and breaths you can just feel yourself getting more and more worked up.
not in the slightest, you wanna say. i’ll probably never see them again and have no qualms about it, mr. park.
“i suppose,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders as you apprehensively meet his gaze.
“you suppose?” he asks, concern etched on his face. “when was the time you’ve seen them? since your freshmen year?”
you avert your gaze as your teeth sink into your bottom lip, in no way wanting to have this discussion at ten a.m. when, much to your pleasure, an impatient car behind beeps at seonghwa’s mercedes.
his dark eyes move to the rearview mirror, narrowed and irritated in a way you can’t help but think is sexy, before he puts his foot off the break and turns into the parking lot.
“i think this person’s leaving,” you mutter when you notice another car go in reverse, seonghwa snatching the spot before the impatient, crotchety lady behind him could steal it.
you can’t help but smirk as seonghwa eyes her when you get out of the car, giving him a look that’s half judgmental and half amused.
“what? she beeped at me.”
“aren’t you supposed to be, like, an adult?”
he rolls his eyes as he takes a cart from the pile, nodding his head for you to go in front and “stop talking back to an elder.���
you can’t help but smirk at his playfulness, taking your spot in the front and pretending as if you always move your hips this much when you walk casually; you would’ve felt embarrassed, had you not turned around a few moments later to see his eyes already on you.
“where to first, mr. park?”
he has to bite back the groan threatening to leave his mouth, reminding himself to keep himself in check this month - starting tomorrow.
“depends, y/n,” he hums, voice far too deep and sultry to be surrounded by innocent bystanders in the grocery store. “what do you want?”
words are caught in your throat and you can only stare dumbly, your plan quickly back firing as he appears to do the same - but it’s gotta be in your head, right?
regardless, it quickly humbles you in the form of a small, unsure shrug.
it’s how you two start walking up and down the aisles, seonghwa putting in what he remembers and items on his mental list while also insisting you put in anything you want.
your arms bump ever so often, softly apologizing and acknowledging it the first few times before you both realize it may be happening on purpose.
you stick close to him when the aisles get tight and crowded, his deep voice telling you to “go ahead,” causing you to swallow shakily. you feel the presence of his hand just a few inches from your hips, lingering and hovering but never fully touching.
it’s finally when you’re in the bread aisle, seonghwa a few feet away talking to the man at the bakery counter, that you decide to put something in the cart.
you would usually never accept someone’s offer to buy you something, already feeling bad about staying with them rent free and eating their meals without compensating.
but the brioche loaf brand is one of your favorites, only sold on occasion at the corner store near campus.
you press up on your tippy toes to grab the bag of bread, stretching your arm up with all your might. the plastic slips through your fingers just as you’re about to snatch it down, letting out an annoyed huff as you pulled down your sweater dress.
you mumble your annoyances before trying again, back on the tips of your toes with your arm raising when you feel a hand on the small of your back.
it’s large and warm and seeping through the thin material of your burgundy dress, a snappy protest about to leave your mouth when you catch mr. park’s face in your peripheral.
there’s a content look on his face as he takes the bag with ease, holding it above your head as his hand moves from your back to your waist with a gentle touch.
you look at him with wide eyes and a pounding heart, his hand on your waist so foreign and strange but... good. something you didn’t even realize you’d been craving until it happened.
the strength and warmth of his hand, though if you think about it just enough, you can feel the weight of his wedding band through the fabric.
“is this what you wanted?”
his voice is deep and low as he speaks to you and you alone, your eyes raising to see him staring down at you. you can’t make out the expression in them, just the darkness in his eyes and the frantic beating of your heart.
you can’t even being to understand the context of his words right now because, yes, this is exactly what you’ve wanted - but he doesn’t know that, right?
“w-what?”
he can’t help the smirk that crosses his face, all sorts of pride and satisfaction and arousal coursing through his veins at your current disposition.
“the bread,” he says, stepping back and holding it out to you. “is this the one you wanted?”
your eyes narrow as you look at him, the smirk on his face, the amusement in his gaze, the playfulness that’s radiating off him - is he fucking with you?
“oh... i... yes,” you finally say, coming to your senses and not allowing yourself to think this way anymore. “that’s the one. i hope it’s okay.”
“of course,” he hums, placing the bread in the cart before going back to the front handles. “you can get anything you want, i already told you that.”
you nod dumbly as you follow beside him, seonghwa picking more things off the shelves and muttering the list to himself as you try to get your shit together.
because yes, you’re attracted to him and yes, you’ve found yourself alone with him for more than two days in a row and yes, there’s been some lingering looks and touches but that doesn’t mean anything.
you can’t let your own deluded thoughts and desires get in the way of reality.
the reality that he’s your friend and roommate’s married father and you’re a college student. he doesn’t want you just as much as you shouldn’t want him so what’s the problem here?
maybe it’s that you’re a 22-year-old woman who’s only been on a handful of dates.
that the last time you made out with someone was when you were drunk and dared to kiss the first guy that walked through the bar (luckily, somewhat attractive and surprisingly polite).
that, maybe, you’re so horribly touch-starved and aching for affection, you’re trying to find it in a hot father figure who’s just as kind as he sexy - and that, you think, is the second most tragic thing here.
because the first would absolutely be thinking that any of this, any of these stares or touches or coincidences of eunbi leaving you two alone, means something.
means that maybe this break is for you two is create an attraction and build some sort of bond and-
“y/n.”
you’re barely able to register seonghwa’s voice before his arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling your body into his taller one and having you pressed up right against him.
you were so lost in thought of him that you didn’t see the older women skirting her cart around the aisle quickly, phone pressed to her ear as she yells to her husband about the christmas ham.
you’re not even sure if she shoots you a look of sorrow or utters any apology, too consumed and distracted by the feeling and proximity of mr. park.
his arm wrapped around you, your body pressed flush up against him, his neck craned down to look at you with a building... something in his eyes. playfulness and teasing but also something darker, something that makes your stomach swoop and renders you unable to move.
“are you always so clumsy and distracted?” he mumbles lowly, his deep voice quiet for only you two to hear - like he knows even in a sea of strangers, he has to keep these interactions quiet.
“what would you do if i wasn’t here to help you, y/n?”
i wouldn’t have been distracted in the first place, you’re tempted to say - but you certainly don’t wanna open that can of worms, especially not in the middle of this grocery store with the way your heart is pounding.
“i... i’m sorry, i was distracted,” you mutter, playing up the damsel in distress just a little bit. “my mistake, mr. park.”
he licks over his lips, swearing his name just being spoken has never effected him like this. he doesn’t even know where this attraction came from, seeing you leave the dorm building yesterday morning and something in his body jumping at the sight of you.
maybe it’s just showing how unhappy he really is with his life, living day to day to just work. hang out with his friends and go to sleep alone - he doesn’t remember the last time his wife touched him, looked at him like she wanted him or made any move to be with him.
he just knows that you showed up, looking so pretty and wide-eyed and coy, and is now about to lose his mind.
“it’s alright,” he says, hoping you don’t hear the thick tension he hears in his own voice, like he’s some idiotic, hormonal young boy. “i think we only have a few more aisles left, anyway.”
he plucks the remaining items off the shelves before you both make your way to the self check-out, him scanning and you bagging because “eunbi says if my career as a photographer fails, i could be the best grocery bagger ever.”
“that’s just because she puts the bread on the bottom,” seonghwa mutters, a smile on your face as you nod your head - she squished one too many of your brioche loafs before you realized bagging just wasn’t for her.
your fingers graze ever so often, the coldness of his tips a stark contrast to your warmer ones.
a particularly big, bulk bag of vegetables proves to be a challenge for you, working through the packed bag with some difficulty. you let out an annoyed groan as you play a dangerous game of tetris, trying not to rip open the brown paper bag.
you finally get the box inside, a little bit prouder than you care to admit, when your precious brioche loaf is dropped right atop. you look up at seonghwa to see him already apologizing, your brow raised as you look at the older man in confusion.
did he think your hand was out? why would he just throw the food at you?
but it’s only when you feel a little more air than normal on your chest that you see what could’ve possibly caused the distraction, the white lace from your bra sticking out.
your cleavage in this dress was hidden for the most part, only becoming a little more obvious when you moved around or packed a shitload of groceries. it makes you bite back a smirk as you put two and two together, looking up to see his eyes still lingering over you.
two can play at this game mr. park.
“mr. park,” you begin, feigning a certain kind of innocence as you place your bread atop the other groceries and finally look up at him. “are you always so clumsy?”
it takes a few seconds for a smile to pull at his lips, the tick in his jaw not going unnoticed to you - so maybe this wasn’t all in your head. maybe he wants you too... possibly.
“you’re funny, y/n,” he mumbles, a smile pulling at your lips as he takes out his black card. “i guess i was distracted, too.”
you swallow the lump in your throat as you feel the slightest hint of arousal run through you, shaking it off and letting out a forced, girlish chuckle.
you pack the car a few minutes later without any lingering eyes or touches, seonghwa telling you about the meals they plan on cooking for christmas.
they usually don’t make their own food for holidays but decided to have a more traditional set up for you and eunbi’s arrival - he also hasn’t cooked a meal for his family in god knows how long.
“that’ll be great, thank you,” you tell him, clicking your seatbelt in as he backs out the spot. “i’m kind of a picky eater but i’ll eat anything you guys provide me.”
“and you have the whole brioche loaf,” seonghwa says, a giggle leaving your mouth as you nod your head.
“true. it’s really good.”
“i’ve never tried, perhaps you’d be willing to-”
his wife’s name popping up on his car dashboard acts as a way to bring you back to reality, brings a certain kind of silence over the both of you for a few seconds.
like he wasn’t just rubbing his body against yours and you weren’t just flirting with him in the form of smirking lips and snarky comments.
you watch a twinge of annoyance behind seonghwa’s eyes, gaze roaming over the screen as if he’s in contemplation before muttering “one second.”
“hello?”
“where are you?” her voice snaps in annoyance, “i told you we had that board meeting at one.”
“and it’s only noon,” his deep voice mumbles, not matching her level of irritation but sounding a whole lot different than a few seconds ago. “me and y/n are coming back now.”
“y/n?” she spats, like it’s a disgusting piece of food she wouldn’t dare put in her mouth. “what about eunbi?”
“she went off with jiwoon before i could get her in the car.”
“so it was only you two?” she asks, the snide judgment and underlying tone in her voice causing your stomach to churn. “did she ask you to buy a bunch of-”
“i’ll be home in twenty and then be on my way over,” he says, cutting her off and hanging up before she can even get another word you.
your stomach churns and a sick feeling comes over you, her utter dislike and disdain for you causing you to bite your lip.
because not only does she not like you to be with her daughter, she doesn’t want you with her husband (although, you suppose, you can’t really blame her for that one).
“i’m sorry about that,” seonghwa winces, the silence lingering between you two heavy. “you could’ve gotten anything you wanted, y/n. this is your christmas too. don’t feel bad about anything, okay?”
you swallow the lump in your throat, your gaze moving to his as he stops at the red light.
your eyes lingering over his and his doing the very same, hand twitching to reach out and move the piece of hair from your slightly flushed face.
and there was something about the way you were both looking at each other, eyes so focused and unwavering and honest, that had you thinking maybe all of this wasn’t in your heads.
but it didn’t mean either of you could act on it - they were just... feelings of lust and wonder and all things forbidden, not seriously believing that a relationship like this could unfold right under the nose of his wife, his daughter and your roommate.
unless the pull was so desperate.
so overwhelming and all-consuming and present between the both of you, little moments couldn’t help but happen.
strike one:
with none other than eunbi as a distraction, the girl promising she wasn’t gonna leave you alone anymore, you were able to take your mind off everything.
the tension-filled, heart pounding moments with mr. park that felt just as wrong as they did right.
you spent a few nights going out with her, jiwoon and all of their high school friends, a surprisingly nice group of young adults who you got along well with.
they were loud and crazy and did far too many shots but they also seemed to be genuinely kind. even the boy who was flirting with you all night, handsome and tall with pretty dark eyes, acted as a good distraction.
grinding up against him as the music pounded throughout the bar, alcohol coursing through your veins allowing you to forget about the older man who’s been living in your head for almost a week now.
“how have i never met you before, y/n?” the boy mumbled lowly in your ear, your head against his shoulder carelessly.
but it was right there in that moment, him saying your name, that the moment was over.
because it just didn’t sound like seonghwa, as delusional as that was.
it didn’t get your heart racing or lips quirking the same way it did when you heard the older man say it. the smile attached to his handsome, mature face and the deep, lowly spoken tone that always held a hint of teasing and sincerity.
“but danny really is so freakin’ nice!” eunbi squeals to you on christmas eve, the two of you in her immaculately white and modern kitchen prepping the chocolate chip cookie cough for tomorrow.
“and you two seemed to be getting along, i saw your ass all up on him.”
“eunbi, that wasn’t me. that was the vodka. i don’t know who that girl was.”
she throws her head back as a loud chuckle leaves her, telling you again that she warned you her snobby, rich little friends have been able to handle their liquor since middle school.
it’s how they cope, she had said, unloved kids with more money than god learning to deal with the world of limitless funds and minimal parental supervision.
“well he hasn’t stopped asking me about you, you know,” she hums, her eyebrows quirked suggestively as she mixes the bowl of ingredients lazily.
“and not just because of your newfound grinding skills, which by the way, are usually learned by the tenth grade.”
your eyes narrow at her comment, throwing a small ball of dough at her that she, impressively, catches in her mouth.
“he really is just, like, so taken by you, y/n. seriously. i told him that you’re graduating this year with a degree in photography and he nearly came in his pants. he loves the artsy girls.”
“you are so vile,” you snort out, shaking your head at the girl sitting criss-crossed on the counter. “and stop saying that. we both know i’m not graduating this year,” you mumble, her face falling pathetically.
“i told you we’re gonna find a way,” she whines lowly, looking at you with all kinds of sympathy and sadness in her eyes - she would offer to pay for you, if she didn’t think you would smack her upside the head.
“oh and what? is my new boyfriend danny gonna do that for me?”
“in exchange for more grinding and a photoshoot, i think. do you want me to try?”
she lets out another giggle despite the way you pinch her leg, peeking inside the bowl with a surprising amount of pride.
"this looks good,” you mumble, swiping your finger to collect some of the chocolate dough.
“hey!” she whines brattily, thrusting a spoon toward your hand just a second too late.  
“why are you whining in here like a child, eunbi?” seonghwa asks, walking through the entryway and the large, white island in the center. “what are you making? please don’t burn the house down.”
“haha dad, you’re so funny,” she mocks sarcastically, jumping down from the counter with her hands on her hips. “where are the baking sheets?”
a simple shrug from her father causes her to roll her eyes, grumbling about how she was really trying to avoid her bitch of a mother today. he holds back his smirk, about to reprimand her before she’s out the kitchen and shouting for her mother upstairs.
it’s only you and seonghwa in the kitchen now, a heavy silence in the air as you stand there dumbly - bowl beside you, cookie dough adorning the top of your finger.
“what are you girls making?” he finally asks, his body moving closer and closer causing you to swallow.
“i... uh, cookie dough. for tomorrow,” you say, lifting your finger and wiggling the tip full of batter. “chocolate chip.”
his eyes move to your finger before grazing over your mouth, his tongue peeking out ever so slightly as he reminds himself to act right.
he hasn’t been alone with you since that day at the food store, just seeing you in passing in the hallways or outside the house as you and eunbi went to and fro.
he hears your giggles at night and tired groans in the morning, quietly yelling at his daughter to wake up and get her ass out of bed.
and he knows it’s probably for the better, that you two don’t find yourselves alone with each other, but he can’t help but feel a rush of excitement right now.
you watch as he moves closer, with the same wide-eyed look you’ve been giving him since he first saw you in your apartment weeks ago.
“ahh, you’re making it from scratch? that’s ambitious.”
“yeah, we googled a recipe,” you tell him, finger still beside you in the air.
you don’t know what causes you to be so bold, maybe him attempting to carry out a normal conversation even though he’s looking at you with so much lust and desire, but you can’t stop once you start.
“how’s it taste?” he asks, his voice deep and slightly strained as he nods his head toward your finger.
you don’t even bat an eye as you slip the tip of your finger in your mouth slowly, swirling your tongue around as you take up all the dough on your skin.
it’s sweeter than you originally thought it’d be but it tastes good nonetheless, keeping your eyes on him as you reamin as innocent and unassuming as possible.
“it’s good,” you say, dropping your finger like you didn’t just make a show of licking and sucking it. “i like it better raw.”
you don’t even realize your words until you see the fleeting look on his face, tongue swiping across his lip and eyes hardening. they roam you so slowly and darkly, you can’t control the growing butterflies and swooping in your lower stomach.
“mm, me too,” he hums lowly, the hardening of his cock in his pants something he hasn’t felt in forever. it’s taking everything in him to control himself, from his eyes popping out of his head to letting out the deepest of growls in the back of his throat.
“do you want some?” you ask, cocking your head to the side questioningly.
he has to desperately hold on to his composure, not think about how easy it’d be to pin you against the cabinet right behind you. take just a few steps closer, have your back against the cold granite and let you feel just how much he wants some.
but he has to play it cool, push down these building desires and ignore your teasing because he’s almost fucking positive that’s what’s happening here.
“want some what?” he asks, his voice lowering just a tad.
he hasn’t played a game like this since college, watching as your eyes widen and brow quirks up.
but he sees that’s exactly what it is when you turn around and face the bowl of cookie dough to him, a smile just as sweet as the cookies on your face.
“cookie dough. before we put them in the oven and possibly burn them.”
the breathy chuckle he lets out leaves your stomach in shambles, his tongue peeking out and poking the inside of his cheek causing a swooping sensation to flood through you.
but before he can even think to say anything, before your eyes can look over his body and make you feel even more warm and bothered, eunbi floats back in and fiddles in the cabinets for the baking sheets.
“that woman is too much, i swear,” she grunts, whipping out the materials quickly before her head snaps to her father. “why are you still here?”
“i wanted some cookies. and to ensure y/n won’t allow you do burn down the kitchen.”
“it was one time, dad, and an accident. how many times do i have to defend myself in this house?”
you let out a giggle as you look from eunbi to seonghwa, your roommate turning her back to set up the practice baking session.
“let’s go bitch! i hope we didn’t fuck this up.”
seonghwa’s eyes roam over you for a few more moments, his tongue swiping across his lips before, finally, leaving the kitchen with his dick hard as a rock.
strike two:
christmas consisted of successful cookies per your and eunbi’s homemade batch, passive aggressive comments from mrs. park about your degree and a whole fuck ton of sexual energy between you and seonghwa.
you could almost always feel when his gaze was boring into you, when you got up to take more mashed potatoes or kept your attention on eunbi as she told her parents about what job she wants to start at next semester.  
it’s also when eunbi almost let it slip about your scholarships, had you not viciously pinched her arm and caused a pained cry to leave her mouth - if you ever thought jiwoon was gonna verbally assault you, it was certainly in that moment.
“why did you pinch me so hard?” she whined later that night, jiwoon passed out on the couch after five too many homemade cookies. “look at my bruise.”
a genuine frown crosses your lips as you look at her arm, rubbing her skin gently as you mumble your soft spoken apologies.
“i’m sorry but i just... i didn’t want your mom to know that,” you say back just as whiney and pathetic. “she already thinks i’m an incompetent idiot. knowing i have to wait a whole year because i’m broke is just too embarrassing.”
it’s an admission that, while eunbi already suspected that, still makes her feel bad - it nearly makes her wanna cry, that you don’t feel welcomed and loved in her home because her mom has to be a judgmental bitch.
“y/n...”
“bi, it’s fine, oh, my god do not cry right now,” you grumble, flicking her in the head lightly.
“i just feel bad,” she cries lowly, moving hrself closer to you and away from her boyfried. “it’s not fair, y/n. you worked so hard and now you have to wait. how could they do this to you?”
a small, touched smile crosses your face at eunbi as you shake your head, dabbing at her watery eyes.
if jiwoon wakes up, he’s literally gonna beat my ass,” you say, smiling when a wet giggle leaves eunbi; you don’t want this time to be sad or upsetting. “i thought he was gonna hit me at dinner.”
“okay if he’s hitting anything, it’s gonna be my-”
“no. no, no, no.”
the snort that leaves her mouth doesn’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach, looking at you with a frown still adorning her face.
“i’m sorry if my mom’s making you feel uncomfortable. she does it to every single person ever and i don’t-”
“it’s fine, please stop apologizing for her,” you say, the sinking reminder in the back of your mind that seonghwa had been doing the very same thing - apologizing for that woman.
“i know she’s stressing you out, too. we’re in it together.”
“that’s true,” she sighs, letting out a long, dramatic groan before resting her head on your shoulder. “i’m so bloated, i don’t think i’m ever gonna be able to eat again.”
and it was funny that, days after the holiday, eunbi was still convinced that she was bloated from christmas dinner.
“babe, i don’t even think that’s possible,” jiwoon consoled her, you and him sitting in her room as she gets ready to go down to the pool.
because, naturally, like everyone in this godforsaken rich town, they get ready to go to the pool that’s inside of their homes; when eunbi told you to pack a bathing suit back at your apartment, you looked at her like she was insane.
until she clarified that her pool is heated and, conveniently, indoors.
“just through the backyard,” she had said - and she truly meant it.
just a few yards away from the main deck area, with floor to ceiling glass windows that showcase the extravagant landscaping and, of course, the outdoor pool and jacuzzi just a few feet away.
“eunbi, this is insane,” you say, marveling at the sight before you.
“don’t you wish you came sooner?” she asks with a wink, your eyes rolling as you place down your towel.
you had the option to bring two bathing suits - a skimpy black one you don’t remember being so scandalous or a red one you remember eunbi insisting you buy last summer.
and you just knew it was because danny was coming, currently showcasing his impressive eight pack that, truly, just doesn’t do it for you - maybe if he was twenty years older, apparently, and somebody’s father and husband.
you shake the thoughts out of your head, walking a few steps toward the pool before eunbi tackles you from behind. you both land with a loud splash, followed by the excited shouts and loud splashes of her other friends.
you’d be lying if you said you could remember the last time you had this much fun, splashing and giggling and acting so carefree despite the many challenges you’ll have to face soon.
but that’s not any of your concern right now, currently sitting atop danny’s shoulders and trying to knock down eunbi in a game of chicken.
“you little bitch! get your nails out of me!”
“coming from the girl who literally just tried to choke me two seconds ago!”
“like it’s your first time being choked!”
and you don’t know whether jiwoon was shocked by you saying that statement or the fact that his girlfriend exposes all of her sexual kinks to you but alas, it did the trick in sealing you a victory.
a smug smile on your face as danny jumps up and down in excitement, your body bouncing and nearly falling over him had you not gripped onto his shoulders.
it’s at that time eunbi pops up from the water, hair a soaking mess and mascara running down her face. she’s about to open her mouth, probably to yell at you, before a volleyball is thrown through the air and just misses her face.
instead, it hits danny square in the head. the boy letting out a yelp before you promptly fall backwards in the water, hearing eunbi’s shrill squeal and giggle on your way down.
you pop up and throw her a dirty look, danny rubbing at the back of his side before apologizing profusely.
“it’s okay,” you giggle out, about to say you shouldn’t have been up there for so long before eunbi’s squealing in the air.
“dad, what the hell kind of aim was that!”
you feel your body stiffen before you quickly shoot around, none another than mr. park standing there looking as handsome as ever.
he puts the young men around you to shame, good-looking, muscular college boys who anyone in their right mind would find attractive - but they just don’t beat him.
his striking eyes or tall, lean stature or the fact that he’s just so fucking-
“got worse with age, bi, what can i say?” he chuckles, extra white fluffy towels in his hold that he places on the chair. “sorry, danny.”
seonghwa’s known danny for a few years now, one of jiwoon’s friends who seems... alright. not a bad guy but also not a good guy - just kind of there; but it didn’t occur to the man just how much he was bothered by him until he saw you on his shoulders.
because he could’ve put you in danger, of course. put you in danger at his house where if things got bad, he’d be responsible; as for the ball, it merely slipped from his finger tips.
“no problem mr. park,” the kid smiles, the other friends gathering around and looking at him expectantly. “we’re gonna play a round of volleyball. you in?”
“no. no dads allowed,” eunbi whines, seonghwa rolling his eyes at his bratty adult daughter.
“why not? because i’m better than all of you, eunbi?”
“oh please,” she grumbles lowly, rolling her eyes and grabbing you to lead you toward the stairs. “you know what, we’re going in the hot tub anyway. since she decided to rock my shit in chicken. enjoy my father traitors,” eunbi grumbles to jiwoon and his friends.
“i did not,” you protest weakly, feeling two pairs of eyes on you as you make your way out of the pool with your friend.
the first thing that strikes seonghwa, apart from the major twitch in his pants, is how skimpy your bikini is.
red bottoms with thin straps holding it up, a matching red top showcasing cleavage and beauty marks on your chest and all the things that are proving to drive him fucking crazy upon seeing you every day.
it’s taking everything in him to control the growing ache in his shorts, your eyes looking at him so coyly and attentively that you’re ignoring the college boy gawking at you right in front of him.
there’s a certain sort of twisted pride in his chest, you giving him attention and seemingly reciprocating his interest, when there’s someone younger right there for you.
younger and unmarried and more suitable for you. someone you can actually be with where it wouldn’t be considered dirty or wrong or secretive; but maybe that’s why you’re both drawn to it in the first place.
that, and because you’re both really hot.
“he’s literally hot, y/n! why don’t you like him?” eunbi whines to you, the two of you sitting across from one another in the hot tub outside.
the december air is crisp but feels nice comapred to the steaming water you’re gratefully submerged in. anything to take you away from mr. park shirtless and wet in the pool right now.
“i do like him, bi,” you mutter, trying your best to convince her and now seem suspicious.
“okay, yeah, as a person but who cares about that!” she whines, flopping her hands dramatically in the water. “you don’t want him to rail you.”
“eunbi!” you squeak, splashing in her direction as a warm, embarrassed blush rises to your cheeks.
“i’m serious y/n. you’ve never been railed before and danny’s such a good option. he’s hot and he’s sweet and he’s so pathetically into you, it’s a little sick.”
you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, shooting her a look that screams can we please not talk about this because you don’t know how much i actually wanna be railed by your father so let’s stop this discussion.
but she only rolls her eyes, moving herself closer to you so she can tug at your arm annoyingly.
“is he just not your type?” she questions, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion for a few moments before utter shock crosses her face.
“wait, what is your type? it’s... men, right? have i been hooking you up with the wrong gender this whole time?” she asks in disbelief, “could we have been hooking up this whole time?”
you press your lips together so you don’t burst out laughing, dryly replying “yes, eunbi, i’m into men.”
but the more you think about it, the more you think maybe you don’t have a type.
“and i’ve... never really thought about it before, to be honest. i just know i’m not into like... frat guys or whatever.”
because any party you’d been to, any douchey college guy wearing a backwards hat or cut off shirt, you had never been more disinterested. you couldn’t ever picture yourself falling for someone like that, romantically or sexually.
the one time you remember thinking someone was hot was when you took film and lit with your 31-year-old professor.
“so older guys?” eunbi concludes after hearing that, a smirk on her face as she raises her eyebrows playfully. “we gotta scope out some golf courses or retirement homes?”
“please,” you scoff, a giggle leaving her mouth as she throws her head back gleefully.
“okay, really though, i’ll tell danny you’re not interested and to stop trying so hard if you’re really not interested.”
but maybe danny as a distraction will be good.
will make you see that, perhaps, someone single and your own age and not your best friend’s father will be good thing for you to explore.
so you shrug lightheartedly, the smirk on your face causing eunbi to let out a low “oooh shit.”
you look over at her and your smile only widens when she knocks your shoulder, saying that you’re looking to be a play girl and drain a rich, lovesick man of some christmas presents.
“yeah, right! why drain a rich man when i can drain my best friend,” you tease, looking around her yard and still in astonishment that this is really her life. “i mean, two pools? is that really necessary?”
“three actually. there’s one behind the guest house on the other side. a small one. very humble.”
“oh, a small one, okay. great.”
she lets out another giggle, the two of you talking over plans for new years eve.
you might go up to jiwoon’s parents house in the mountains for the weekend, spend the time drinking with the small group of friends you’ve come to genuinely like over these past few weeks.
“it’s only two hours away so it won’t be that bad either,” she says, getting up to shake the hot water off her arms. “i’ll be right back, i have to pee.”
you nod your head, grateful she didn’t piss in the pool and allowing yourself to sit there, eyes closed, body relaxed, in the silence.
you can hear the faint screams of the boys from the indoor pool area and the swish of the hot tub filter, peeking open your eyes when, suddenly, you think you hear a boom of thunder in the distance.
you watch the sky darkening and clouds coming in, signaling a storm is coming in soon and quick. a sigh leaves your mouth, enjoying your last few moments of peace before finally standing in the hot tub.
the crisp winter air blows and sends goosebumps up your arms, a shiver running through your body as you attempt to splash some hot water on your upper body.
you don’t know how you know someone’s watching you but you do, some sort of strange intuition within you looking up to see none other than mr. park standing a few feet away from the hot tub.
his dark hair is wet and hanging in his face, swimming trunks soaked and his exposed chest still dripping chlorine water.
you press your lips together as your eyes roam his chest, a hint of abs on his lean stomach that causes a small, strangled groan to leave your mouth - you will never understand how this man is pushing 40.
but the same way you’re looking at him, he’s looking at you.
water covering your body, currently hunched over trying to warm the rest of your body; but it’s when you stand he really starts to gawk, your figure standing full and tall and giving him a perfect view of your hardening nipples from the cold crisp air.
you can see the lust in his eyes the same way you know he can and you’re about to do something to just make him crack. mistakingly untie your bottoms, catching them at the last second so he thinks he’s about to get a peak.
or undo the back of your top and pout at him, ask him to please tie it back for you because it’s way too hard to reach behind and do it yourself.
or maybe you’ll just drop to your knees right there, try to see if there’s any hint of a bulge in his swimming trunk bottoms and-
his body is gone just as fast as he arrived, confusion covering your face before you shake your head of your perverted thoughts - dropping to your knees when his daughter and wife are right here, what the fuck is wrong with you today?
you blame eunbi, all her talk about getting railed when you’ve been wanting to jump her father’s bones.
you carefully make your way out of the hot tub, not wanting to eat shit and scarp your leg on the concrete.
it feels like you’re about to freeze in the cold, another shiver wracking your body before you turn to stick your cold, goosebump-ridden arms back in the hot tub. it warms you for just a few seconds, a low, satisfied hum leaving your mouth before you hear footsteps coming up from behind you.
something in you tells you it’s him again.
whether it be the way your body heats up and feels prickly, the obvious feeling of eyes burning into your exposed back causing you to remain still and oblivious.
but you can longer remain oblivious a few seconds later, when a tall body is just a few inches away from completely pressing against you.
“you forgot a towel,” is all he says, placing it on the wet rim of the hot tub.
when he leans forward to place the white towel down, he’s careful and meticulous with his movements. brushing up against you every so slightly and carefully that you can feel his hard bulge on your ass for a few seconds too long.
at first you think you’re crazy, feeling what you were trying to envision in your head, but then you absolutely know it there’s.
you can feel the wetness from his bathing suit on your legs, his cock right there resting on the thin, red fabric of your bikini bottoms and if you were as weak as you felt inside, if he stayed there just a little bit longer, a moan would’ve absolutely left your mouth.
if you pushed back just a little to feel more of his cock on you, grind your ass his hardness just enough to hear him let out a low groan or maybe curse a little.
but he moves away, almost like he knew the perfect amount of time before that happened and almost like he did it by accident - but when you turn around and see the look in his eyes, you know it wasn’t.
the same way he can see a palpable desire and surprise and tension in your gaze, causing him to suppress a growing smirk. it makes you wanna tease him back in whatever way you can but you know that eunbi’s due back from the bathroom at any moment.
so you only cock your head to the side, lick over your lower lip carefully as you grasp the towel in your hands gently.
“thank you, mr. park,” you say, your voice as airy and sweet as you can possibly make it without sounding like an idiot.
“you’re welcome, y/n,” he says, taking a few steps back as his eyes lock on you. he stays there for a few moments until he hears the door to the pool house open.
you watch his lustful, dark expression change right then and there, a towel wrapping around his lower body and his face stretching into a happy, father-approved look.
“so you’re good with anything for dinner, y/n?” he asks, his voice loud and clear enough for his approaching daughter to hear. “i know you mentioned you were picky.”
“let’s get pizza!” eunbi screeches through the air, telling seonghwa that everyone’s staying over and they’ll need at least four boxes.
but you can’t even think about pizza right now, not when this moment right here is solidifying the crazy thought in your head that your best friend’s dad wants you just as much as you want him.
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you called him out later that night around one a.m., after eunbi and jiwoon were the last to pass out to your scary movie marathon.
the others were sprawled out on the basement floor, an intricate array of blankets and pillows on the floor that you attempted to weave through, both, skillfully and quietly.
there was a dryness in your throat that could only be settled by a cold glass of water, making your way through the house quietly and praying you don’t run into mrs. park.
she’s been just as passive aggressive as she usually is in front of people so you could never imagine being alone with her. wondering what the hell she’d say to you without seonghwa and eunbi as buffers.
you were relieved when the lights were off in the kitchen, padding your way to the fridge to take out a bottle of water. you twist and turn the cap off to gulp down the cold liquid in the refrigerator light, a quiet gasp leaving you as your thirst is quenched.
you briefly consider going up to eunbi’s room to sleep tonight, not sure how you feel about being squished in with eunbi and jiwoon cuddling on the couch, when the light suddenly flicks off.
it causes you to freeze and halt all thoughts, fear running through you for all three seconds before you see seonghwa’s tall, familiar figure pass you. you watch him carefully in the dim light of the fridge, his shirtless chest yet again right in front of your face.
leaned back against the counter across from you, giving you a perfect view of his toned chest and gray sweatpants.
“midnight snack?” he asks, the smirk on his face almost causing you to roll your eyes.
instead, your lips quirk into a small smile. raising your water bottle by your head and shaking it, the water swishing in your pounding ears.
“just water,” you respond quietly, matching his low tone. “i hope that’s okay.”
“that you took water? of course, y/n,” he says, amusement in his gaze as he looks you over.
you’re freshly showered and in a pair of pajamas, matching pink sets that eunbi got you for christmas one year - he remembers because he was with her when she bought it.
a soft smile crosses your face, your back getting cold from the open fridge but not daring to move a muscle. not with him looking at you the way he is and with his body just a few feet away from you.
a silence lingers in the kitchen, you not sure why he’s looking at you and him waiting to see if you say something, before he bites the inside of his cheek.
“i wanted to say sorry about before.”
your eyebrow quirks up, interest so clearly peaked as you cock your head to the side.
“what do you mean?”
a smirk crosses his face as he watches you play dumb, head cocked and eyes wide and everything about you with such mock innocence, he thinks that’s what’s driving him the most crazy.
that you do this shit and say certain things with almost complete unawareness and innocence, if it weren’t for the hidden look of desire and teasing in your eyes.
“you know,” is all he says, his voice dipping and eyes twinging darker, it makes your lower stomach swoop.
a part of is positive, even if you ask, he’s not gonna say it aloud.
he’s not gonna say or acknowledge any of this aloud and make you guys play this game until you leave in a few weeks.
and then when you leave, unsure about your next prospects of college or education or even living arrangements, who knows if you’re ever gonna see him again.
so you only hum lowly, closing the fridge behind you and leaving you both in darkness. the only source of light is from the moon outside, lighting up half the kitchen from the large bay window.
it leaves you both incredibly exposed, anyone from the outside able to see the two seemingly innocent bodies standing toe to toe with each other; but they don’t see the lustful looks and eyes full of desire, both of you so entrapped by the other, it’s obvious with the tension in the air.
“oh, well, then... it’s okay, mr. park,” you say with a smile, taking a step back as your eyes roam his chest one last time. “i didn’t mind.”
you’re about to say goodnight when you see his arm reach out, shocked but oh, so ready ready to give into your desire and feel your body crash against his or your lips connect finally.
moan into his mouth and feel more of his hardness against you - but he only takes the water from your hand, presses his mouth against the plastic rim and swigs down a big gulp.
you watch with wide eyes as his adam’s apple bobs in the moonlight, head tipped back and body perched calmly on the counter as he takes a swig of your water bottle, spit exchanged and his mouth right where yours was.
he pulls back with an unreadable expression, licking the excess water from his lips before simply closing the cap, holding out the bottle and smiling at you with the most wise-ass smirk you’ve ever seen, you’re not sure how you’re ever gonna one up this man.
"sweet dreams, y/n.”
strike 3:
your new years weekend get away turned into an extended stay that consisted of sleeping on a lumpy air mattress, five extra guests and so much alcohol, you’re positive you’re still hungover three days later.
“it wasn’t that... we only did a... i mean it wasn’t like we were....” eunbi says, the two of you laying on her bed nursing headaches and body aches to the severest degree.
“okay, it was pretty bad. we were kind of rowdy and out of control.”
“you don’t say?” you grumble, never one to black out and get that shit faced and then doing it nearly every night - maybe to deal with danny’s pathetic soft looks or whispered sweet nothings to you.
“nothing is working either. not advil or water or greasy food. we might’ve fucked ourselves for life, bi.”
but if there’s one thing that always helped for eunbi, it was a nice, long bath. steaming hot water that burned her skin and the prettiest bath bombs to make the entire bathroom smell of strawberries and cream.
so even though you didn’t want to, nothing more comfortable than eunbi’s king size bed and warm, fluffy comforter, you allowed the girl to drag you to the bathroom down the hall to set up ‘your last resort, hangover paradise.’
it consisted of every type of bath bomb and lotion and bubble bath the luxurious could dream of, sending her out immediately when you saw her sneaking in with a glass of champagne.
“are you crazy?” you ask, dipping your toe in the water to test the temperature. “that’s what started this disaster.”
“fine, more for me!” she squeals happily, turning down the lights and pressing the bluetooth button for your phone’s music. “enjoy. i’ll see you in an hour, completely hangover free.”
“we’ll see about that,” you grumble, your words falling on deaf ears as she locks and closes the door to makes her way back to her ensuite.
and as much as you wanna give eunbi shit for her pompous tactics and techniques for everything in life, you have to say that this is certainly helping.
soaking in the steaming hot water, with cucumbers on your eyes and quiet music playing through the ceiling speakers. the jets in the tub also added another layer of relaxation to it, healing your sore muscles from days of waking up on a hard, wooden floor.
the mirrors were steamed and the room was boiling by the time you got out, stepping on the fuzzy bath mat and drying yourself off with a towel. you had tried not to get your hair wet but it proved useless, your relaxed body sinking further and further down until nearly your whole head was wet.
you stretch your arms above your head as you let out a content groan, feeling the best you’ve felt in three days and ready to take a nap.
but it’s at that moment, looking around the large steaming bathroom, that you realized you didn’t bring a change of clothes in. meaning you’ll know have to walk done the hall and into eunbi’s room in just a towel.
it’s fairly late, almost 11:30, so you’re hoping that her parents are in their rooms and fast asleep by now.
you peak your head out, feeling like a spy in a cheesy action movie as you look up and down the hall. you turn off the light once the coast is clear, walking quietly but quickly down to eunbi’s room - or wing, as it could be considered
you’re almost out of the gate, just a few more steps until you round the corner down eunbi’s hallway, when seonghwa’s tall figure is coming right up the stairs.
his head is down as he looks at his phone, still in his dress shirt and tie from his long day at work. you noticed that after the holidays, he’s been around the house less - working from home when he can but also needing to go into the office more often than not.
he’s at the top of the stairs when he finally notices your figure watching him, wrapped in a towel with a flush on your cheeks and your wet hair dripping on the floor.
it seems to be the thing to break him right now, not able to tear his eyes away or think of any fun, flirty comments to keep you from suppressing the need to roll your eyes.
because his days have been long and stressful and the only thing he needs right now is to just get off - and then there you are like something his prayers have answered, standing there quiet and awestruck at the sight of his loose tie and messy black hair he’s been running his hands through all day.
“h-hi, mr. park,” your quiet voice says, sweet and soft-spoken and utterly apologetic, like you’re embarrassed to be caught in just your towel - and he supposes that would make sense, to feel embarrassed about getting caught like this your friend’s father.
but he can’t find it in himself to care right now, two seconds away from dragging you down to his office so he can finally fuck you over his desk - but he knows that would be the worst decision in the world, for countless reasons.
“hi, y/n,” he grumbles back just as low, leant against the railing with a voice that sounds defeated and gruff.
“are you okay?” you ask, something about his voice and demeanor off.
he has to hold back a strangled laugh, his lips quirking up before he bites down on his lip.
“i’m... i’m fine, thanks. work’s just busy,” he says, a certain part of his chest warming at the fact you even asked - he knows his wife won’t when he walks in their bedroom in a few minutes.
“oh, okay,” you respond, twirling with the end of your towel nervously. “well... i’m sorry to hear that.”
he allows himself to let out a chuckle this time, shaking his head as he looks over your bare, wet face; you’re too pretty for your own good, he’s not even sure you realize just how pretty you are.
just how much he really wants you and just how much he’s coming to like seeing you in his house everyday.
“it’s alright, that’s why you gotta do something you love, right?” he quips, his long fingers up to recreate a camera, pressing down as if to snap a photo.
it cause you to let out a soft, genuine giggle, nodding your head and easing the slight embarrassment of him catching you in a towel.
“right,” you say with a smile, shy smiles and gazes shared until you finally look away in fear of your cheeks warming again.
but it doesn’t stop him from admiring the view of you, your bare face and exposed chest before the towel covers up all the parts he wants to so desperately explore.
he pictures dropping your towel and hearing it fall to the floor with a plop, take in the sight of your perky boobs and hard nipples in the air.
drop his mouth just a little bit to your neck, pressing small kisses against your skin as his fingers knead your nipples, all the quiet moans and breaths to make sure you two don’t get caught shooting right to his cock.
he probably wouldn’t be able to control himself, sliding a finger into you right then and there in the middle of the hallway, pressing your back against the wall to have you trapped against his larger body.
he’d pump his finger in and out of you slowly and tauntingly, hearing how wet you are and feeling how tight you are. it’d be similiar to how this past month has just been both of you taunting and teasing and beating around the bush, occasionally letting his fingers curl to his your g-spot or graze your sensitive clit.
and then he’d drop to his knees to taste you. make sure he sucks and licks and takes your clit in his warm mouth that you’re-
“i should get back to eunbi,” you finally say, breaking the silence and ripping him from his dirty, hidden fantasies. you can’t take the lust and desire in his eyes that you see when he looks at you, an painful ache building between your legs more and more.
“goodnight, mr. park.”
you nearly run into eunbi’s room and slam the door had you not seen her sleeping form, passed out right there in the middle of her bed wearing a baby pink robe.
you look beside her to see an extra one laid out, a silky lilac one that causes a small smile to cross your face.
you’ve never felt material like this on your skin, basking in the feeling of the smooth, silky material as you clean up her room quietly - both to tidy up and distract you from the ache in your legs and last encounter with her father.
for eunbi growing up with housekeepers and nannies her whole life, it always surprised you how clean and tidy your roommate was; the sink was never full of dishes and you alternated vacuuming the living room carpet.
but it’s obvious all of that is a facade because since the moment she got home, her messy ways have shown through - you find it endearing, though, and it’s all very eunbi: a homey, lived in mess of luxurious items and articles of clothing worth more than your childhood home.
the girl in question had moved to the right side in her sleep as you cleaned, a quiet chuckle leaving your mouth. you look to see both your water bottles are empty, deciding on the brave decision to go downstairs to grab two new ones.
the last time you’d done that, you thought for sure mr. park was gonna jump your bones - and you know you were gonna let him.
your mind is littered with memories of that night as you make your way through the dark house of twists and turns, carefully going down the stairs as you walk toward the kitchen.
there’s a room with beautiful double doors on your left, a room you’ve walked past hundreds of times throughout your stay here. eunbi told you it was her dad’s first floor office, where he usually worked and had his meetings from home.
the first thing you notice from down the hall is that the door is slightly cracked open, a peak in from the dimly lit kitchen showcasing some fancy decor of a globe.
as you make your way closer and closer, your ears are met with a quiet, strangled groan that causes you to stop in your tracks; your mind begins to race with a million different scenarios of what you could be walking past right now.
your first thought is that you’re about to see mr. and mrs. park in a very compromising position over his desk - and, as sick as it sounds, as delusional and crazy and absurd as it sounds, that prospect makes your stomach sink and twist painfully.
but that would be normal, you suppose; they’re a fucking married couple after all and seonghwa had seemed stressed from work. obviously he was gonna ask his wife to help calm him down and relax him.
get all of his stress out in the form of-
you shake your head before you can even think about it, forcing your feet to move past the office doors.
and it’s like you can’t even stop yourself from peeking in, confirming to see if your thoughts are correct and you’re about to be gutted, when you take in the sight before you.
seonghwa still in his loose tie and white dress shirt, pants around his ankles and his head thrown back in his office chair as his own hand jerks his cock off.
everything about it is dirty and wrong and you know you shouldn’t be looking in but you can’t stop.
you can’t stop watching the way his hand works around his cock expertly, long and thick and so fucking nice it nearly makes you drool. the thought of you on your knees before him, taking him in your mouth and licking and sucking around the tip, making you bite back a moan.
you can’t stop your eyes from looking at his face, his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut with his neck on display - perfect for you to bite and give hickies, if you were on top straddling him.
you can’t stop the painful ache and wetness seeping in your thong as you watch him get off, his groans and grunts and heavy breaths making you wanna whine out in arousal.
and it’s that suppression right there, getting so worked up and horny over the sight of your peeping tina activities, that cause you to pull yourself away.
because as much as you don’t want to and as much as you wanna help him, you can’t.
you can only scramble into the kitchen and get water as fast and quiet as humanly possible, scurrying past the office and up the stairs with the stealthiness of a lion.
you can only lay in bed with the thoughts of your roommate’s father and the noises he makes, the sight of his cock and the hand movements replaying over and over in your mind.
and you realize that night, with only a few more days until you both have to leave for the spring semester, you can only hope to never see mr. park again.
let this flirtation and fascination and utterly screwed up infatuation with your roommate’s dad be nothing but a dirty memory you’ll keep to yourself for the rest of your life.
because if it’s not, if you have to see him again and have him in your daily life again, you won’t be able to hold yourself back.
your lust will turn deeper and you’ll find yourself in a much bigger issue than damp underwear and secret, forbidden moments with mr. park seonghwa.
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you should’ve known with only two days left of your stay that eunbi was gonna let the news slip.
you were at least grateful for the fact that mrs. park had a charity ball with her clan of “botox getting, bitchy sounding gold diggers who need to desperately get laid,” successfully riding her of your last friday night dinner.
“so you girls don’t want a new apartment then?” seonghwa asked, glass of wine in his hand as he looks at the two of you questioningly. “that building’s looking for a new owner, eunbi, i think it’d be perfect for you both.”
“dad don’t be ridiculous, we can’t own the building!” eunbi says, swatting her dad playfully as she shovels a piece of food in her mouth. she’s casual and comfortable without her mom’s prying eyes and biting tone, her foot resting on the white fabric beneath her.
“and besides, i might be alone in there soon. we still don’t know if y/n is gonna be starting her-”
you kick the girl under the table roughly, her face pulling into a wince as a cry leaves her mouth.
“ow, y/n! what the he-”
but it’s upon seeing your white face and annoyed expression that she realizes what she said, her mouth falling open and silent as she looks at you apologetically.
“oh shit...”
you can only shoot her a pained, sarcastic smile, daringly looking at seonghwa who’s watching the two of you with a curious expression.
“what do you mean?”
silence hangs in the air, you and eunbi sharing side eyes and dejected looks with her dad before he cocks an eyebrow at the both of you.
“girls... what do you mean?” he asks, his voice deeper and more serious, taking on a dad-like tone eunbi isn’t used to hearing from her relaxed, playful father.
and that’s when, before eunbi can open her big mouth any further, you calmly and regretfully explain the situation with your scholarship.
how you got an e-mail a few months ago about alternate funding for the art department and that you were one of the many students who, while keeping up your end of requirements, could not be awarded money.
“it’s awful that they can do that,” seonghwa says, his eyes full of the same sympathy and outrage eunbi’s held - except he knows that this happens all the time. that it’s unfair and sick and a big ploy in the education system that needs incredible reform.
especially when it hurts students like you.
“yeah but it is what it is,” you say, trying your hardest to steer the conversation to literally anything but this (in fear that you’ll scream or start crying or have yet another anxiety attack).
“i can just finish up in the fall, it’s no big deal,” you lie through our teeth, a sad smile on your face as you look at eunbi. “i’m just sorry it messes up our combined graduation party.”
a frown crosses eunbi’s face as she smacks you in the arm, pulling you closer to her just so she could cuddle herself into your arm.
“i will wait for you,” she proclaims dramatically, a pout on her lips and starry-eyed look in her gaze. “i will wait as long as i have to. if they delay it any further, father, you will simply have to sue the school.”
“father, huh?” seonghwa hums lowly, his lips quirking into a smirk.
father is the term eunbi uses when she wants to use him and his money, whether it be blackmailing unfair teachers or shitty students or calling for him when her and her mom are fighting.
“yes, father,” she says, looking to you with a sweet, apologetic smile on her face.
“i’m serious, y/n. we got your back,” she quips with a wink, a pained smile on your face that she knows means you can’t wait to let her have it when you two are alone.
“you had one job, eunbi, and you were doing so good,” you say in her room later that night, pacing back and forth as she sits on her bed like a scolded child. “literally two nights left and you let it slip out!”
“i’m sorry, okay!” she whines for the ninth time, a pout on her face as she plays with fingers; you wanna roll your eyes seeing it, knowing for a fact that’s something she does when she’s in trouble with jiwoon.
“i didn’t mean to, it just slipped out!” she begins to defend, “and it was only my dad! he wouldn’t dare say a bad word about you, y/n, he loves you.”
you ignore the twinge in your chest when you hear her say those words, feeling a tad guilty at the bodily reaction you have about her own father. how much you’re hiding from her and that you have these suppressed feelings and secret moments in the first place.
“loves me or not, bad word or not, it’s still embarrassing, eunbi,” you say, a frown on your lips as you start to hear the situation aloud. 
“i still can’t pay for my tuition and have to wait almost a whole year to take a degree in fucking photography. like how embarrassing is that, all of this just for me never find a job and live in a box.”
you’ve only seen a flash of anger on eunbi’s face a few times in your life, the incident with the dorm girls and her dad and when a sorority girl tried to kiss jiwoon at the bar.
and you see it right now, her small but mighty frame jumping off the bed and lunging toward you quickly.
“are you kidding me!” she squeals, smacking you in the arm and pushing you down on the bed.
“what the hell do you mean a degree in fucking photography? or living in a box? you’re gonna be the best photographer in the world and shoot every event in my life and charge me quadruple the amount!”
a smile pulls at your lips as you hear her go on and on, hype you up and build up your confidence and tell you to never talk that way about yourself again. how there’s nothing embarrassing about not being able to afford thousands of dollars when you were alerted about the expense on such short notice.
“okay, okay, i know that,” you eventually give in, letting out a sigh as you flop down on her bed. “it’s just.... stressful. i can’t move back home but i also need to get like, a real job. a job that’s gonna pay well so i can save up as much as possible.”
“and we’ll find you that when we get back,” she says, assuring with a confident look in her eye and her hands in yours. “i can promise you, with or without my father’s connections, we’re getting you a job.”
her words prove to reassure you for the remainder of the night, when, after she kisses your ass a little more, asks if she can go to jiwoon’s for a little.
you spent that time in her room looking at nearby job offerings and building up your resume and cover letters, working well into the night hours with a text from jiwoon that she fell asleep and will be back in the morning.
you stretch your arms above your head with a quiet groan, noting it’s almost one o’clock and you’re fucking parched yet again.
it’s no surprise to you when the lights in the kitchen are on, dimly light and no noise around as you pad your way to the fridge.
you almost expect the footsteps that come in a few moments later, when you take a sip from your water and close the fridge without hesitation.
“have you told your parents about tuition?”
you’re confused by the statement that leaves seonghwa’s mouth, brows pulled together and a sinking feeling in your stomach at this conversation again - because as if tuition wasn’t enough, he just had to bring up your parents.
but you don’t wanna beat around the bush any longer; you two seem to do that enough.
“me and my parents don’t talk,” you say, straight forward and quiet as you look right at him.
it’s the first time he sees you look a little broken and defeated, a certain kind of sadness shining behind your eyes that makes him wanna pull him into you. it feels like a protective instinct he’s used to, caring for the people in his life and not wanting to see them struggle.
“they wouldn’t help me anyway.”
this protective instinct feels a little different in this moment, something else tugging in his chest that he hasn’t felt in a very long time - not until he started seeing you more.
“but it’d be a shame if you didn’t finish, y/n. you got so far and you’ve done so well for yourself.”
you smile a little at the praise, tongue rolling over your lips in a way he certainly doesn’t miss - but this moment isn’t about that. it’s not something he cares even a little bit about right now.
“thank you, mr. park, but i am gonna finish,” you say with finality, the confident and sure tone making a strange sort of pride swell inside of him.
“i just have to save up money and i’ll start in the fall. it’s really not that big of a deal,” you tell him with a smile, taking a few steps back so you don’t feel too crowded by him.
“eunbi’s gonna help me look for jobs when i get back,” you say, a teasing smile pulling at your lips as you look at him. “a big girl job. something real and hard, that’s gonna make me super stressed and agitated.”
so much so that i have to get off at the thought of you.
a deep chuckle bubbles out of him that you match with ease, the two of you sharing small smiles and quiet giggles in the middle of this spotless, white kitchen.
“can’t do what you love quite yet, i guess,” seonghwa says, his eyes roaming your face so slowly and carefully, it makes you a tad bit nervous.
you hadn’t realized how natural and easy this conversation was between you two, like you were talking to someone you’d known your whole life opposed to someone you’ve barely known for four years.
his hand itches to reach up and touch your hair, tuck the soft, silky looking strand behind your ear and watch your cheeks heat up when your skin touches; but instead, he smiles down at you, inching closer until he’s just looming over you and staring down at you with a soft, undetectable look in his eye.
“but it’ll be worth it in the end, i think. it’s just gonna... take some time.”
you lick over our lips, throat and mouth suddenly so incredibly dry, as you nod your head.
“yeah, i think so, too,” you say, your lips smushing together nervously before you open your mouth to speak again - this could be one of the last times you’re alone with him.
“thank you for letting me stay with you guys, mr. park. it’s been... really nice spending time with people for the holidays.”
he feels his heart twinge in his chest again, his eyes falling down to your lips and swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone so bad in his life.  
“of course, y/n, it’s been a pleasure,” he says, a smile quirking at his lips with a hint of something you just can’t quite make out. “maybe we’ll see each other again soon.”
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it was five days before classes started that you got the confirmation e-mail - a message confirming your tuition for the spring semester was paid in full and your current balance was $0.
you had to look over the message for three whole hours making sure you had read the e-mail correctly, even going as far to call the bursar office to make sure they had the correct address.
but they had confirmed with surety that your balance was paid off, urging you to quickly sign up for the classes you need before the day was over.
“okay, you will never believe what interview i was able to score for you,” eunbi says the moment she walks in the apartment, shopping bags up her arm and gucci sunglasses perched atop her head.
“i’ll admit, the vibe was a little off with the coworkers but i think it’d be a great opportunity to-” her eyes catch your laptop screen on the school website, a list of classes and times on your screen that causes her eyes to widen.
“oh?” she squeals, running over and throwing herself down on the couch beside you. “what the heck are you doing? are you... did you...?”
the lie came way too quick and easy to you, excitedly blabbering out that there was a change in the system and your scholarship was approved - “i think they felt bad that i was a graduating senior,” you said, eunbi’s face pulled into the happiest smile you’ve ever seen.
she clapped and danced and bounced around in excitement, proclaiming you guys just had to go out and get drinks to celebrate the fact that your surprise party was back on.
but you could only sit there with your thoughts and suspicions and this overwhelming feeling deep within your stomach that, while eunbi definitely doesn’t know, her father might’ve just paid your college tuition in full.
(part 2)
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