#how long can i make these tags
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peak.....
It keeps happening
#I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT#GRAHHHH#GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#how long can i make these tags#GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#140 characters or less#oh darn
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know��’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)
* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#FINALLY FINISHED THIS WOHOO#Okay so#I have been keeping this small part of info secret for SOOOO long and it was so funny that JUST this week I got a ton of asks about#Wingdings' voice and I was SO tempted to talk about this little detail#BTW I DIDN'T FULLY MAKE THIS UP#i mean#Yeah I did#BUT IT IS BASED ON SOMETHING I NOTICED!!!!!!#When redacted talks in Wingdings the sound is clean#but when we listen to entry 17 (which is most likely a recording)#There's a VERY loud overlay of garbage noise#And so I was like#I could use this.........#like yeah a sound based on symbols?? we can't understand it! but our brains might do the work for us and maybe try to understand it?#but recording it goes very bad.....#I thought it was fun so I made it a hc for Gaster#and then I applied it here :D#lol#I think the pacing of this one is also a bit too fast but ehh#I hope it's clear#I am so proud of how I drew Alphys in these pages I feel like I am finally understanding her shape and how I want to stylize her#Sans is very good at reading people#He can tell when people are lying#that's why Wingdings didn't lie! he just conveniently forgot to tell him some details about what they found#okay yeah that's enough#TIME FOR THE TAGS#undertale#forgettable-au#forgettable-au-comic#sans
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i heart these rivals so much. maybe they'll kill each other. maybe they'll kiss. maybe they'll make ou
#ghost's doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#sun wukong#six eared macaque#love how these two show how different my art tends to be. either wholesome cute stuff or Absolute shitposts#i need them to do stuff to each other Really bad you guys have no idea#on another note for those who read these tags: i am making shadowpeach plushies#who knows how long those will take... but im sure i can get everything patterned right before they come in after new years#im so freaking excited!!!!#merry christmas btw. shadowpeach fans get a tasty treat lol#also the second shadowpeach was in ref to a twit trend going around. it got 2k+ likes..................
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idk, i just feel like if your primary argument against transandrophobia/antitransmasculinity theory is that you think it's transmisogynistic you're not being intellectually honest. who does it hurt when trans men and mascs coin a term to describe the intersection of transphobia and sexism as it most frequently affects them? because it does hurt trans men when they're told that they're not entitled to speak on the discrimination they themselves face.
what I'm hearing from people who oppose the antitransmasculinity movement is that transmisogyny is when trans men talk about their problems 👍, but obviously that's not true. i know that's not true. you know that's not true. so then what is the issue? genuinely, enlighten me. you want trans men to shut up and listen? I'm listening.
#transandrophobia#anti transmasculinity#trans#transgender#maybe whacking a hornets nest but I'm really frustrated#it just makes no sense#how one can in the same breath be upset by tmascs “derailing” discussions about tmisogyny to discuss their own issues#and then also condemn tmascs for creating their own space specifically to discuss their issues#so as not to step on the toes of the (minority group of) transfems who insist our very existence is owed to them#as though we have not literally existed just as long#pedestalizing an already hypervisible group#vs shutting down a historically hypovisible group#effectively doing the terfs' work for them by dividing us when we should be one another's strongest allies#how is that fair to either of us#this does not help trans women#if you think it is you're lying to yourself idk !#antitransmasculinity#transemasculation#<- fucking hate that term btw#miss me with that shit#that's not what this is at all#transphobia#transmisandry#transandromisia#transandrodorks#transandrobro#tmra#<- tagging these because i do in fact want the people who use these terms derogatorily to see this post#i will not be debating anyone i just want to see what people have to say i guess
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something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.
it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.
and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.
on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.
edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.
Perseus, Daniel Ogden
Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet
#perseus#danae#komiks tag#long post#every other week i start to say something about how greek heroes are a good case study in diaspora and exile trauma#but man perseus makes me so sad. so does danae. she loves her son :(#perseus turning a whole island to stone is a huge mood. i would also do that if i were him#anyway (salutes) take care everyone i gotta watch yunho's new video it looks like a fucking movie im so excited#(i singled out ovid bc i remember the fucking shit perseus discourse that ran through this site. i remember#im preemptively loading a gun and pointing at it before it can touch this post#it hasn't died out either i see it on twitter all the time in the most ANNOYING ways possible i am TIRED#esp bc they're actually doing medusa a narrative disservice like congrats! you made it worse! stop telling me it's better!!!!)#it’s all greek to me
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pearl laughing gif what is she cackling about
#pearlescentmoon#pearlescentmoon fanart#wild life#wild life fanart#life series#life series fanart#trafficblr#raz art tag#its not perfect. but i like it!!!! can you tell my favourite thing to draw is faces can you tell#i need to make her hair shape better OR figure out how tf it works . long hair my beloathed#gif#animation
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ok now is the time where i admit that alighterwood got into my head and now i have a batfam rewrite au plotline sitting in my outline drafts
#please do not repost my art guys#saw someone reposted it on insta and was disappointed#and if anyone wants to draw these designs please tag me#both because i wouldn't be bothered and would love to see it#i spent so long on these designs#also i just really love the name pheonix for jason#and you can pry it from my cold dead hands#but i will come back from the dead#ala jason todd#is that how you do the ala?#a la?#hm#food for thought#erinwantstowrite#jason todd#jason todd au#pheonix#jason todd pheonix#tim drake#but make him#tim wayne#damian wayne#damian al ghul#robin! tim#but he's not robin here#robin! dami#sun bird tim!#sun bird#i also REALLY love sun bird for tim#red bat dami
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wait i'm curious, what makes you say that gregor doesn't like everyone else (if i read that post right)? just curious since i've never seen anyone else say that
i don't necessarily think gregor dislikes everyone else at lcb but i do think that gregor is an incredibly petty person that isn't nearly as close to the rest of the sinners and even outright dislikes some of them cough cough rodya cough cough which a lot of people just Refuse to see because he's as much of a doormat as he is. there's several examples i could get into to try and prove my point however i'll just focus on what i personally think to be the biggest ones.
additionally, this is going to be kind of long, so i'm adding a read more. read more! read it. sorry for being so wordy. i have several diseases.
Pt1. gregor is the type to try and get along at least decently with everyone, especially if he gets a good first impression from them.
this is less a point in favor of gregor's distance w/ the rest of the sinners and more just a contributing factor to it. once again there's several examples i could point to here but i think the most in your face one happened in canto I with yuri, as several people have pointed out. even before gregor comes clean about growing attached to her as quickly as he did because she reminds him of his sister, we get this interaction.
i'll go ahead and make the disclaimer now that i don't necessarily think gregor is the most reliable of narrators, especially when it comes to his feelings and interactions with most people, but from the way he acts when the topic of yuri comes up (and the way we still see him act even all the way up to c7, nearly a whole year after yuri's death) i don't see reason to question his sentiment here. gregor immediately got that aya and yuri were close, potentially even taking note of their traded belts, and went out of his way to get something nice for yuri despite hardly knowing her.
i feel like a lot of people have forgotten as much, especially since it's been so long since c1, but gregor actually spent a good bit of season 1 doing the exact same thing with the other sinners! gregor reads a connection between him and ishmael pretty quickly despite getting off to a rocky start
mostly because gregor can tell that ishmael is pretty sardonic in a very similar way to him. there's been multiple instances where ishmael and gregor have essentially expressed the same sentiment at different moments, most notably gregor's little argument after ishmael got shot with a decay ampule in c4
and ishmael's response to pilot talking about self-sacrifice in c5
i could go ahead and pull up more examples, but in general pm has gone out of their way to show us that gregor and ishmael are pretty similar, so it makes sense for gregor to assume that they're friends, right?
this will be pushpin 1. keep note of this for Later.
ishmael's only the first sinner we see gregor trying to do this with in s1, we also see him try it out with heathcliff, sinclair, and ryoushuu
he's tried to get along with charon, being one of very few sinners that we've seen actually try to establish a connection with her at all
even rodya, despite my insistence that gregor doesn't like her nearly as much as the fandom thinks he does
all of these seem pretty fine and dandy, right? sure it frequently leans towards self-degradation, micromanaging, and commiseration, but gregor can at least be pretty chummy with most of the sinners, can't he?
Pt2. hell's chicken was more than just comic relief guys please
i'm fully aware that this is quite the hot take, but i think hell's chicken deserves a lot more credit for character writing than the fandom gives it. hell's chicken gave us foreshadowing for several events, such as the donqui bloodfiend reveal
heathcliff's distortion in c6 (as well as hong lu's highly speculated distortion at some point in the future)
and ryoushuu and sinclair's continued connection by making him the odd one out on her team
which, hey! that implies something about gregor's odd one out, don quixote, too, doesn't it? yes. yes it does. that's pushpin 2. keep note of that for later.
speaking of pushpins, hey! that's pushpin 1!
splitting into teams is one of the major events in hell's chicken, and most of the sinner's choices are either motivated by very little, backhanded, or motivated primarily by not wanting to be on the opposite leader's side. i didn't include all of the picks, just because i feel like including most of them already gets this across, but i think gregor took one major thing from this: most of the sinners, when push comes to shove, will only side with gregor when they refuse to or can't take his opponent's side.
now, don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that this is primarily intended to be comedic relief, but when gregor is being described as having his trust broken by ishmael or nearly crying because no one on his team properly sided with him for him, i feel like it's pretty fair to read into this.
something that i think is pretty important to remember in conjunction with this is that we know that gregor is the type to hold a grudge, both from his general attitude towards the G corp soldiers in c1 as well as his continued distaste for vergilius
even beyond the splitting into teams of hell's chicken, the sinners have given gregor plenty of reasons to feel bitter. i feel like this is something people have noticed but haven't really put a finger on, but it's kind of wild just how often the rest of the sinners make gregor the butt of the joke
and sure, we could argue that a fair few of these aren't really made with any ill intent. quite a bit of it could have been meant as harmless teasing, but with gregor being more sensitive than most, it coming from nearly all sides, and as often as it does? yeah, i think he's prone to taking it a bit personally.
Pt3. yes i do still think gregor was the third most important character in canto VII you guys gotta hear me out okay
of course, all of this leads up to the bit of the story i highlighted, doesn't it? c7? i totally get why people haven't really picked up on all the gregor things i did in it, seeing as they were mostly not *directly* said about him or by him.
personally, i think that gregor's distaste for talking about himself on any serious level and thus leading to him getting sort of "sidelined" narratively (which i take issue with that claim, but still. it's effective for getting what i mean across atm) is supposed to lead players to take a deeper look at the times gregor gets held up to other characters and compare and contrast what's being said about them by the matchup. as i showed earlier with his immediate latching onto ishmael, i think this is something gregor himself is at least partially aware of too.
so, that begs the question, who was gregor compared to in canto VII that makes me think it's one of the most critical pieces in understanding his character?
really, i'd like to avoid getting too lost in the analysis of this canto specifically, since i'd like to do a proper post about this later, but i figure i can bury the lede a little before doing it properly.
c7 features several characters being made to perform in sansón's play, acting out the relevant backstory for this segment of the plot. a lot of these characters have rather direct, degrading reasons for playing the roles they do.
outis, a character with an inflated ego who wants her journey to have a purpose, is made to play an aimlessly wandering villager with a single line.
hong lu and ryoushuu, two characters for whom families and the expectations placed upon them are likely going to play a major role, are made to play bloodfiends.
rodya, a character who resents her lot in life and is constantly shown to be eager to leave her destitution behind her and become someone special, is made to play a helpless villager that's too poor to even offer any money to the hero that saves her.
heathcliff, a character that has spent most of his life getting dehumanized by comparing him to beastly animals, is made to play a literal bear whose sole purpose in the plot is to get beat up and then quickly left by the wayside.
sinclair, a character that has two opposed parties essentially treating him as a macguffin to procure for their side, is made to play the character who was arguably the catalyst for this entire canto, not to mention playing a decently major role in ruina.
our star don quixote is made to play her father, the first kindred, but there's someone by their side the entire time, isn't there? don quixote's dear, steadfastly loyal companion. a character which don quixote has tasked themself with getting to come out of their shell?
hello again, pushpin 2.
gregor has been made to play our unreachable star, sancho. someone had to, of course. you can't really tell a story without it's main character, now can you?
now, i should once again give a disclaimer. i am not trying to say that i think adapting what happens to donqui/sancho in c7 to gregor is the road pm is going to take here, not only would that toe a bit past the line of foreshadowing, but it'd also just amount to rehashing that plotline again, which i don't think would make for a particularly exciting story.
what i DO think is that we can take a lot of the things that are said to either directly be the case for sancho and use them to inform how we see gregor.
and god, does playing sancho have some fucking implications for our favorite ossan archetype.
starting off, the earliest moment we get to see of sancho is quite literally her just waiting for death to take her in a pile of ashes.
which, i should remind everyone, is actually pretty damn close to what happens to gregor's literary counterpart at the end of the metamorphosis. gregor samsa experiences one final breaking point that pushes him over the edge and makes him decide to just wait for starvation to take him.
gregor and sancho both consider themselves to no longer be human, something which sancho goes out of her way to highlight repeatedly throughout the canto and gregor is quick to get defensive on her behalf for when outis starts really tearing into her
sancho spends quite a lot of this story denying herself the joys of community and friendship, despite knowing that, even with the rest of the sinners frequently making jokes at her expense and outright insulting her, they were things that she desperately craved.
and, while this is getting into my "outis is a red herring meant to distract us from gregor's eventual betrayal" theorizing, i also think it's worth noting for this discussion that sancho's fellow kindreds, her family, all seem to be under the impression that she dislikes them and ultimately her departure was an act of betrayal
and that, despite gregor being one of LCB's resident mood makers and attempted conflict de-escalators, one of the sinners that's most prone to making appeals to the bonds they've all forged together, only him and faust remained silent during everyone's speech
so yeah, i think there's quite a lot of little details and hints building up to the reveal that gregor's not quite as fond of everyone as he presents himself to be. i do think a lot of this ultimately comes down to gregor getting in the way of his own happiness, similarly to donqui, particularly because he's been frequently portrayed as something of a self fulfilling prophecy, especially by giving him as many christ allegories as they have by way of priest and garden of thorns. gregor is convinced that the rest of the sinners don't like him because he's not convinced anyone could like him, so he convinces himself that he hates them because why should he care if someone that he hates hates him too?
a lot of this ultimately ties back to my personal interpretation of what happens in the metamorphosis as well as my own theories regarding all the times gregor has made weird callbacks and references to lobcorp and ruina, but yeah. i think about this guy and his deeper characterization a fairly normal amount, i think.
to end this off i'll highlight one of my favorite little "gregor is fucking seething and trying so hard to keep it cool" moments, in the credits CG for c7 we see rodya teasing him by drawing a little horse on his window and actively pointing and laughing at it, which gregor really doesn't seem all too pleased about.
i personally think this ties into the other cruel part of sansón forcing gregor to play rocinante, which is the more literal "he's actually just straight up playing rocinante" side of things. gregor was quite literally made to play something less than human, less than even animal really, as he was reduced to nothing more than the shoes don quixote wore as she got to play the leading role. sansón directly makes jokes about gregor being nothing more than shoes in the play twice, which adds to this reading, i think.
this, imo, really plays into the adaptation of the metamorphosis! i've seen a lot of readings for the book that posit that, despite being the protagonist, gregor samsa can't really be considered the main character due to nearly everything he experiences in it being used to further his family's character development at his expense, which i think fits nicely with limbus gregor seemingly having the most said about him through indirect means by holding him up to other characters. also it's rodya carelessly making fun of His Big Major Insecurities™ again like she did in c1 which i always find fun. rodya i love you but god you're the worst.
#beargregor's property#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#something to bear in mind#beargregor's analysis#beargregor's theories#do i bother tagging both of those i feel like i do#oh also.#long post#sorry guys i promised i would try and stay brief when i set out to respond to this ask and before i knew it seven hours passed#my bad#does this give me normal gregor fan cred#i'm fully preparing myself to be screenshotted and posted to twitter or reddit with people making fun of my reading of him but idrc honestl#also i'm really hoping that LCB regular check up has donqui actually like#confront gregor about the fact that he was playing her in sansón's plays#i've seen people insinuate that any deeper reading to the roles they got in them is doing too much#and while i really don't agree with that just due to how much sansón fit the roles to be as cruel as possible to their sinners#i do think at the very bare minimum that the comparisons drawn between gregor and sancho are Very Intentional#despite gregor's supposed lack of proper Deep character moments people love to claim i really do think that we know a lot about him#significantly more than people think we do#just because so much of it has been told to us indirectly or has this aspect of plausible deniability to it#just due to gregor being the way he is#a lot of these smaller subtler details in his proper main writing get highlighted more in his IDs and EGO#like gregor's pettiness and grudge holding in AEDD or the aforementioned self-fulfilling prophecy-ness of priest and garden of thorns#anyway. that's it. gregor is fat by the way did i mention that. also very hairy. refer to my url for more details.#ignore how i just can't shut up about him i promise i'm normal. i promise it's over i can rant about him more another day. i swear.
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"it must be the caffiene."
"...? we didn't have anything caffinated?"
//
CHILAIOS WEEK DAY 2 : Changeling
HI THIS IS SUPER LATE BUT ART HAS BEEN. HARD. AND YES I SKIPPED ONE DAY THAT ONE IS GONNA GO LAST BECAUSE ITS TAKING SO LONG TO MAKE.... ill get to the others when i find the time.
Bonus :
#its been soooo long since ive made a finished artwork... or at least it FEELS like so long#i just keep starting new things and dropping them that i cant remember the last time i did something finished even if its recent#anyways. deadlines always make me stressed so i had to give myself/get 5093839 peptalks to finish this#ANYWAYS ANYWAYS.#look at these disasters#the 'half-foots can hear heartbeats' headcanon is one of my favourites of all time#i think about it alot....#also by the way. yes they imagine themselves here as normal but with the other's clothes.#i dont know how to explain my thoughts on it so just take it as you will#GRRGHHKKK IM OBSSESSED WITH THEM#chilaios week#chilaios#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#laios#laios touden#aaaand im not tagging anything else out of embarassment
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part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)
part 2 (on welt and being just a human)
#remember how in second eruption welt keeps getting covered in blood edgelord style whenever he fights??? yeah#wait first off#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#welt yang#void archives#voidwelt#my doodles#okay anyways. VA isnt human but they haven't been in a “human” body for very long so i reckon there's a lot of new experiences to make#and. i dont think he gets to be dignified enough NOT to be whiny about it. cmon. itd be so funny#second of all sure welt is human but that dude's real used to not giving a shit abt how he's doing and acting like a robot instead of a per#cuz he's got more “important” shit to do#(that's so fucking real of him man ME TOO BESTIE)#also as i told kai: that last panel is not a look of surprise or horror. i tagged this as voidwelt for a reason#i think we all know what kinda look this is#edit: and why tf would they be fighting sky people? why can they bleed? dont ask me im here to draw gay people covered in blood#edit 2: oh my god i didnt add the blood in the first panel. THATS WHAT THE JOKE REVOLVES AROUND???
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if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?
#i mean. the ordan part can control what sentence he wanna hijack right?#hmm#after seeing so much dialogue from his quote page i really wanna see the ordan part inside ordis actually has major impact in canon#and not just to roast parvos. i absolutely love that part but i hope i can see more than that#also makes me wonder how much details in his quote implies what would happen later in the game#like. idk how long ordis has been calling us the operator but i guess it's definitely before the second dream#and i also guess people would understand it as the operator of orbiter or something and not about#...that#yeah that kind of detail#does that count as a spoiler?#what am i talking about this whole post IS a spoiler#but i don't actually wanna tag my each and every post as spoiler tho#cephalon fragment has existed for years so i guess im just gonna... keep. not tagging that. yeah#warframe#warframe ordis#warframe ordan karris#my art
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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the star you've longed for
#PLEASE WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥#project sekai#revue starlight#pjsk#emu otori#nene kusanagi#emunene#prsk#proseka#yuri win. i make my fav pairing fight tothe death#HAPPY EMUNENE WEEK LOOOOOL#Can i be hinestni think this sucks it took way too long cause i forgot how to draw for a week#im seeing demons and stuff. i feel more normal now. Also you may recall emu has a big hammer for revstar#thats the bottom of it the gem thing all the weapons have hers is sharp#i remember seeing meta post abt how mahiru has a blunt weapon because she never actually aimed for the lead role#rather she only wanted to be by karen's side. so her weapon wasnt capable of cutting anything in the first place#Fastforward to the movie and well LOLLLLL#though i think its funny in the movie her mace is still mostly used for i timidation againstbhikari.. bc again shes not winning for a lead#revue starlight youre neat. maybe i like revstar.#<- has been insane for 4+ years#Needed their pose to be smth where nenes weapon isnt visible because I DONT KNOW WHAT WEAPON TO GIVE HER. OOMFS HELP. I NEED A NENE WEAPON.#i thought some sort of polearm/spear/halberd etc something with range but that can be ambitious#but i feel like smth with that much footwork needed doesnt suit her.. And she cant hsve a sniper i dont think thatwould fucking work#aruru gets pistols in the revue but aruru also is Ummm well shes uhhh. [screaming] [car crash]#throwing knives would be funny wouldnt it. Put that gamer aim to use#idk if the emunene week tag is on here but i'll donit anyways#emuneneweek2024#EDIT: i have decided nene gets a rapier. its awesome. thanks for coming#tsukasa has his giant flag and i dont want to budge on that. im thinking about giving rui the throwing knives since he juggles.#it would be funny. saki + rui knife juggling
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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Okay but the thing about veilguard reviews is I don’t care what the gaming review sites think. I especially don’t care what some random ytuber who’s probably just grifting right wing nutjobs for easy money and has never actually played the games before thinks. I don’t even care what an unrelated but accomplished rpg dev thinks
The only opinions I want to hear are from 7 trustworthy sickos (affectionate) who had their brain chemistry permanently altered over a decade ago by critically hated yet loved by me specifically video game Dragon Age 2, and only after I hear those opinions will I decide if I’m buying it or not
#I do have. a prediction#but I don’t know if people really care to hear that right now#so I’m hiding it here in the tags: I think it will be good from a game perspective#but it will lack the secret sauce that makes a good DA experience#so it’ll be commercially successful but kind of a let down to long time fans#and I could be completely wrong I have no fucking idea and haven’t seen most pre release stuff lmao#but idk the choices thing… that still bugs me a lot ngl#idk how it can feel like DA like that#guess we’ll see soon enough though#text#dragon age#shut up nerd#veilguard
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