#how does this keep happening to me?

[tetrapaec]

Another Dan and Phil rewatch, another freak out moment

[w1ld-wr1t3r]

Can you do 59 for carlando?👀

How did you guys manage pick a song from The Creator for Carlando again. The universe is really telling me to write this AU!

This song plays at the start of the movie, and the scene ends on a less than happy note. I've taken the liberty to create a different scene here, that doesn't reflect the same scene in the movie. Also, this one splits between both Lando and Carlos' POV, so you can get a feel for what they're both thinking at the time.

59. They're Not People by Hans Zimmer

Lando laid on his back, looking out the window at the moon. Silver light drifted through the curtains, shining on him and Carlos. The world seemed peaceful outside.

If only there wasn't an international war happening at the same time.

Carlos was half asleep against his side, breath rasping slightly as he swallowed a cough every few breaths. The muppet had managed to pick up a cold halfway through their little vacation. At least it wasn't a bad one, though Carlos carried on like he was dying every night when he had to prop up two pillows to be able to breathe. Lando would probably catch it next, after spending so much time taking care of Carlos. But he didn't mind. He was more than happy to take care of him.

There was a light knock on the door, and when Lando bid them to enter, a head poked into the room, closely followed by the rest of their body. A simulant had brought them two glasses of water and the sleep medicine that Carlos found more tolerable in taste. Lando smiled kindly at the boy, who projected an air of calm serenity but seemed secretly nervous. He was a new addition to their group, so quiet and focused on his work that Lando hadn't even learned his name yet. He made a mental note to invite him on their next outing into town - the kid could stand to socialize a bit.

"Thank you," he said softly, as he accepted the drinks. He set one on the bedside table with the medicine and sipped on the other. Carlos stirred at his voice, blinking open his eyes and coughing.

"Sorry," the bot apologized, as if Carlos waking up was a crime, taking a wary step back. A few simulants, especially the newer ones, still harbored some distrust of Carlos. Admittedly, it was a bit unusual for an anti-AI fighter to willingly turn to their side. Some folks still thought Carlos was trying to con them, even though he'd been with their group for over a year with nary a sign of betrayal. Lando, for his part, trusted him wholeheartedly. He had helped them, fought by their sides, helped them find shelter, mourned with them. He treated simulants like he treated any other person - it had been tricky for him to adapt to that at first, but now, he really seemed like he believed it. Lando trusted him.

So why haven't you told him who you really are yet? his consciousness helpfully supplied.

That was . . . a question Lando couldn't really answer. Yes, he trusted Carlos. But he was literally the single most important person for the pro-AI side, their leader, practically worshipped as a god by some. There was so much riding on his shoulders, including the entire war effort. He had so many eyes on him, even if only a tiny handful of people knew his true identity. Adding one more person to that number was always a risk.

He trusted Carlos with his life. But trusting him with the fate and legacy of everyone who followed him, everyone who believed in him, thousands if not millions of people, was a whole lot bigger.

He looked down at Carlos, telling the bot it was alright and thank you again, and leaned in to kiss him after the bot left. Carlos' grumpiness at being woken up left quickly, and he held Lando tighter with a smile.

He loved moments like this with Carlos. Domestic, sweet, normal. If only they could hold onto them forever.

But with everything he was - with everything they were, and the way the world was - he was afraid they couldn't.

So he'd try to cherish them for as long as he could.

--

Carlos awoke with a displeased grunt when he heard voices. He'd finally started to get some real sleep. He couldn't wait for this cold to be over.

He looked up to see a simulant backing away from the bed. A glass of water and medicine were now on the bedside table. Right, it was probably time for his next dose. At least that would help him sleep a bit better.

"Sorry," the bot said, looking at Carlos warily. To be fair, Carlos had been told his face when he first woke up could be intimidatingly grumpy.

"It's alright, thank you," Lando said to the bot. He always spoke so kindly, to both real people and AI. He held so much compassion in his heart.

Carlos sometimes wondered if he deserved any part of that compassion.

His mission had been . . . "put on indefinite hold." He'd told his superiors that he had to wait and see if any of his leads on finding the pro-AI leader panned out, and moving on them too soon could jeopardize his success. That was at best a half-truth. He had no new leads, and even if he did, pursuing them would mean giving up his relationship with Lando. Because there was no way Lando would still want to stay with him if he knew that Carlos hadn't actually switched sides out of the pure goodness of his heart.

He might not support AI, but he loved Lando. How could he not? He was funny, kind, energetic, creative, so many things. He was a treasure.

And Carlos felt so selfish and guilty for treasuring him, when he knew he couldn't hide his secret forever.

He watched the bot go, forcing himself to smile at it. A bot that thought it had done something wrong might follow him around to try and make up for it. He didn't feel like dealing with that, some human-looking thing asking for forgiveness it was only programmed to need.

Because after all, the AI weren't human.

No matter how alive they seemed on the surface.

He knew how Lando would react if he knew Carlos still believed that. Lando had grown up with AI, saw some of them as family. He saw no difference between their "lives" and his. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea that they weren't as human as him.

So Carlos hid it. He kept telling himself that maybe one day he'd believe it. Or maybe one day he'd finally come clean. Maybe because he chose to, or maybe because he could no longer keep his secret hidden. That would probably be the day that he lost Lando forever.

He tried not to think about how that second option was a lot more likely than the first.

He tried to focus on the moment now instead, where he could still hold Lando close.

If this couldn't last forever, then at least he would try to cherish every single moment.

[scriblesandbits]

So god created us in his image, right? And that’s cool and all but what if it turns out god, like, hates his own image??? What then????

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[lazylittledragon]

i think thats supposed to be about sex things but Not One Of Those, this is the fourth, fifth? couple youve given a lil baby and i think you maybe love lil babys

i too, give the Characters lil babys, because i love them

as well as the myriad of Situations it puts the blorbos in

fourth or fifth publicly/in recent memory, i've been doing it for Years in art i haven't posted akfdhdjhd

i do just really love putting them in Situations you're right

[kaiserouo]

if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?

[veroinfaciem]

[s1ck-pupp3t]

I love, Ms Paint. CHEERS!

OK real art dump over. Click MORE for Real dumb stuff

something something They faces killing me why nobody gaf. Its a Transparent .PNg! You can put them any where to Not Care About.

[thebrainrotsreal]

EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

[casualavocados]

You should stay away from me. I'm no longer with the gang. I didn't agree. Our boss already agreed four years ago. Pull over and let me out of the car. I'm your boss!

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 01 / Ep. 09

[jetblackromance]

It's gotten to the point where sometimes I just forget that Kevin Day isn't a real person whom I can look up on IG or Twitter anytime I want to. Like I genuinely just... forget

[tfa-archived]

Still not used to this life or death situation stuff. That's good, 'cause I'm not either. You never get used to it.

[wavezies]

They can't keep getting away with this

[here-comes-the-moose]

Crosshair would def be someone who, despite being lactose intolerant, would order a cheese pizza and then have ice cream for dessert.

[frobby]

i think a core component of the okumura twins relationship is that if you told them before the series what happens in the future, they would worry about each other before themselves

[fisheito]

... peace on planet bottom, then there's whatever this is