#how does this game expect you to choose one man i say
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strxwberry-skiess · 9 months ago
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i’ll chase you to the ends of the earth.
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remi-thirsts · 6 months ago
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𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?
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pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate) summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world) content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc) wc: 1.4k
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♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.
"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.
"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.
"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,
"What is your favorite position?"
Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.
"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"
"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.
"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"
♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.
Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.
"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.
"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'
"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.
"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."
"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.
"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.
-----
You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.
When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.
He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.
♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.
"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.
"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."
That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.
It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.
"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.
"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.
"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.
Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.
"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.
"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.
"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.
The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.
"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.
"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.
"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.
"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."
♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.
A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.
Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.
The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.
"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.
"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.
"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"
Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."
More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.
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divider: @/plutism
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svtswhorehouse · 6 months ago
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OT 13 : edging vs overstimulation — nsfw
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Seungcheol : overstimulation. honestly, i feel as if he’s the type of person to use it as a punishment. ya’ll would probably go through like a hundred different positions and he’ll make you cum with every single one before he can switch to the next. would hit you with that faux sympathy and imitate a pouty face when he slows down to check on you. when you say you’re okay, he’ll slam back into you again. won’t stop until you use your safe word, but will take a break if you really need it. needs to see your mascara running, desperate doe eyes, and fucked out expression the entire time.
Jeonghan : edging. oh baby, good luck with this one. A MENACE. would probably do it for hours until you’re crying and a babbling mess. he lowkey gets off on how pathetic and dumb you get for him. likes being begged, so he might gaslight you into thinking you don’t want it as much as you say you do which will make you even more desperate. the type to use anything from his tongue, to his dick, to toys — you’ve grown to hate vibrators overtime. also another one who would fake being sympathetic and imitate your sad face. he would probably play dumb like “what baby? why are you crying?” he’s a meanie overall, and will do it just for fun but he’ll make you feel good so don’t you worry your pretty little head.
Joshua : edging. he’s honestly such a sweet and caring person, but he’s also friends with jeonghan and apart of the 95’ line so what do you expect. some days he would choose to be nice, but other days he would decide to be a tease. honestly, not that bad though. he would only do it for a little while before deciding you’ve had enough. lowkey likes it when you cry. he has the biggest hands in seventeen so he utilizes them a lot, especially when it comes to you. enjoys the way you clench around them whenever he stops. he definitely takes time to examine your face which a teasing smile and ask you “what’s wrong,” even though he knows he’s being an ass.
Jun : edging. tbh, does it just to laugh and be a little shit. will be fingering you, pull away really quickly and look back up at you with a smile on his face. will probably be like “ha, you thought,” or “gotcha.” let’s out the cutest giggle whenever he does it that sometimes it’s difficult for you to be mad at him. does it a few times before you smack him on his shoulder and threaten him with no pussy for a week. will definitely let you cum after that.
Hoshi : overstimulation. HOSHI IS A MUNCH AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. would probably choose to live between your thighs if you let him tbh. def eats pussy like he’s a starved man and it’s his last meal he’ll ever have. probably enjoys it more than you do. you can push him away all you want, but he’ll come right back (will literally beg you if that’s what it takes, he loves pussy). main dancer and his stamina is insane, so he doesn’t mean to overstimulate you really, he can just go for hours. you would definitely have to take breaks in between rounds with this one.
Wonwoo : edging. finds it amusing. might tie you up, just to keep you still whenever he decides to go to town on your pussy. he’ll shoot you a little smirk from time to time which will end up pissing you off because he def knows he’s being an asshole. prefers to edge you with his cock, he likes the way your pussy flutters around it whenever he stops. also, his favorite time to do it is whenever he’s gaming. he’ll have you sit on his cock and have you do all the work while he plays a video game. it’s only when your whines start getting louder and movements start to get fast when he’ll place a firm hand on your hip and hold you in place. loves when you look at him all teary eyed, but still promises he’ll make you feel good after. no one said how long his game was gonna last though so good luck.
Woozi : wild card. depends on what HE feels like. you have no say. you just shut your mouth and look pretty for him. if he’s stressed he’ll edge you, but if he needs a mental break or something, he’ll overstimulate you. will definitely happen in his studio the most, just cause that’s where most of his stress leads back to — writing and producing. enjoys cockwarming while he works, but if you’re being stubborn and moving too much, he’ll decide to fuck and overstimulate you. will be like “i thought this is what you wanted baby? couldn’t stay still cause you wanted my cock so bad hm?”
Dokyeom : overstimulation. he’s just happy to please overall. also another one that doesn’t mean to overstimulate you. he just wants to make you feel good and when you try and push him away, he just might look at you with puppy dog eyes. also loves when you sit on his face, he feels like he can be as messy as he wants. asks why you’re crying, but not in a mocking type of way, he just genuinely doesn’t know that it feels too good that it’s getting hard to hold yourself up. it’s a good thing he’s strong.
Mingyu : overstimulation. i feel like he has an oral fixation and cures it by eating you out tbh. this big and beefy man specifically loves it when you sit on his face. if you hover over him for a second too long, he’s pulling you down and holding you in place. obviously he’s ridiculously strong so when you try and pull away, he doesn’t let you. will gaslight you into thinking you can take one more, even if it’s the hundredth time and you’ll agree just because it feels too good to say no. will cage you in with his arms and fucks you so good you wouldn’t be able to utter an audible sentence. likes when yours eyes get all dazed and it looks as if there’s not a thought in your head. he’ll be on a mission to make you squirt.
Minghao : edging. says that you need to practice patience ???? might use it as a learning experience for you ???? might make you want to kill him after ???? lmao. i feel as if he’s more likely to deny your orgasm completely than to edge you. like he would edge for a bit, but overall wouldn’t let you cum. he says it’s to learn to be more patient, but really he just enjoys how desperate and whiny you get after. will definitely fuck you nice and good when y’all get in bed for the night. might tease you by edging you once, but when tears start to brim your eyes, he’ll let up. just, be a good girl for him and don’t piss him off.
Seungkwan : edging. honestly, he’s sweet with it. will check in on you often and make sure you’re doing okay. seungkwan’s favorite way of edging you is by literally having you grind on his thigh. he enjoys how easy it is to get you off and likes to see his skin coated with your slick. also, he def knows his quads are strong af so why would you not wanna ride his thigh? will mutter words of encouragement and praise, even when he stops your movements. knows that him shaking his leg really helps so he’ll stop moving altogether when he feels like you’re getting close. a sucker for your tears so he might give in if you play your cards right.
Vernon : honestly, whatever you want. goes with the flow and the mood. vernon is the type of guy who might let you take the lead. if you wanted to dom for the night then okay. if you wanted to fuck in a bathroom then okay. if you wanted to be edged or overstimulated then he will help you. won’t do it as a punishment, but it’s also not something that he thinks of. you might have to bring it up or give him hints before he can act on it. you might also have to control it so like when you think you’re gonna cum you might have to push him away, or if you want to be overstimulated, just take the lead and hold him close.
Dino : overstimulation. another main dancer right here. he has a lot of energy in him. you would want it as much as he’s happy to give it though. y’all are definitely the type of couple to fuck like two bitches in heat. he would be on a mission to either see how many surfaces y’all could fuck on or how many rounds he’s capable of going which will therefore lead to you getting overstimulated. honestly, doesn’t mean to overstimulate you he just gets a little excited. will apologize after and be so soft with you though so it’s okay.
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wilteddreamsofbaldursgate · 10 months ago
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I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).
I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense. 
That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it. 
And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit. 
And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims? 
Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.
Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing? 
And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased? 
Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.
He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own. 
Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends. 
Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.
You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust. 
And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.
Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.
Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.
Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.
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thedomesticanthropologist · 7 months ago
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Man, in Halsins confession he is SO "I follow my heart wherever it goes, I go wherever nature wills me. Before we start anything you must know I don't want to take you away from anyone else, I don't want to stop you from being with other people or going wherever you go and you cannot stop me from being what I am"
So the very good communication, clear statement: I want a non exclusive connection with you where we share our bodies together but don't try to control each other's paths/decisions/relationships
And its like oh! That's cool. You're straight up, and this sounds like just a physical addition to our friendship, no strings attached, alright. He WAS clear that he sees love and sex as different (I've had many lovers but my heart does not stir easily, it stirs now) so he IS clear he has real feelings but it's presented fairly casually? And very like 'no big deal if you don't feel the same!"
But then you sleep with him.
And oh my GOSH I can't be the only one who saw that man fall HEAD OVER HEELS IMMEDIATELY. And be like, super insecure about it as well as super upfront? The dichotomy is intense!
He NEVER assumes you're going to choose him or want to be around him any more than usual, and seems genuinely grateful and surprised every time you do. It's like he was setting himself up to be a side piece whether you were in a relationship with someone else or not when this started BUT
He ALSO is very very open about his feelings. "My heart. My love. I was lost until you pulled back the veil." And many many more deeply, deeply felt words. He's in love, AND he kind of assumes this whole thing is temporary.
I say that because of his ending. He says he's leaving, and he's clear the way he was in the beginning - no matter his feelings, he goes where nature wills. So there's consistency there. But he is GENUINELY surprised and DELIGHTED if you say you want to come with him.
My analysis is that he never once let himself believe that he COULD have something more with the PC. He never changes who he is, he's always upfront- if he wants to take another lover at Sharess Caress or bang a friend he has that right and he genuinely wants the PC to do the same if that's what they want too, he doesn't want to get in the way and he doesn't want anyone getting in his way. But. But
His heart does not stir lightly. And it does now
I don't think he's fallen in LOVE in a long time, and he can't believe he's going to commitment from a partner, he thinks he's just going to get a taste of you before you move on.
Being Polyamorous doesn't mean not having dedicated partners, it means not trying to stop your partner from doing what they want. It means being free to sleep with others, and to not stop your partner from leaving if they choose to go elsewhere. The way he words it in the beginning sounds like he means " if passions fade you move on, you follow your heart where it leads"
He just never expects YOUR heart to lead to him
And when it does, he is so, so surprised and grateful and lucky and honored.
He's such a complex character and so different from how I've seen romances shown in video games, movies, books so far I really like him.
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spidybaby · 4 months ago
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hi lovey ❤️ don't know if ur request are open but if they are pls do something with kyky maybe his whole family love you but his mum doesnt ❤️
Mama's Boy
Summary: Kylian convinced himself that his mother liked you, but when she openly rejects you in front of him, he has to choose which side to be.
Warnings: cursing, mommy issues, dysfunctional family.
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At first, you thought it was something normal the way she behaved with you. Kylian even told you it was.
"She does like you. She just needs to get more comfortable around you."
You let it go. Thinking he was right, you were like that, too. It took you a little before being open and relaxed towards the rest of his family.
Being busy with your own things and having to work around Kylian's schedule and yours made you two not even cross paths.
Kylian asked you to help him with something related to his foundation, the same one his mother's the president of.
You were asked to pick some things and drop them off at the venue of the event. Melissa was there. She and Fayza were supervising that everything went the way they planned.
You texted Melissa that you were there, with everything Kylian asked you to bring. She went to the parking lot to help you with some things.
You walk with hands full, Fayza was talking with a man. Melissa was telling you about what activities were going to be performed at the event.
"Bonjour, Miss Lamari." You say, smiling at her.
"Hi." She says, not a single expression on her face. "Are you staying?"
"Kylian asked me to say." You say. You notice how she inhales, trying not to show her discomfort. "If that's okay with you, of course."
She nods, leaving you alone. You knew she didn't really want you there, but Kylian was the one asking you to stay and participate.
You help Melissa with some things outside of the venue, organizing some piles for the games with the kids.
Kylian arrives half hour later, when his mother sees him, she asked him to go get changed for the pictures and everything.
He has this way of making you think what his mother is doing is just not being herself around you because she doesn't know you that much, and she will eventually open to you.
The activity was fun, Kylian was playing with the kids. You love watching him interact with them. It was a glimpse of what you could archive with him.
You love how his parents. Mostly his mother, educate him to give to those in need. You love him and his acts of kindness.
"Stop daydreaming." Melissa says, laughing at your heart eyes. "Believe me, he wants the same thing as you."
"I hope he does." You smile. "Because I feel like I would die if he doesn't."
"You guys have been together for what now?"
"Two years in a month."
"Don't worry. He wouldn't play with you like that." she pats your back. "Now, can you help me with bringing the bags we put together?"
You nod, walking back to the warehouse. Fayza was putting the bags into a box to carry them outside.
"Miss Lamari, would you like some help with that?"
She didn't turn to you. She kept organizing the box. You move a little closer so you could help her. Passing her some things.
She lifts the box, you notice how I was kinda heavy due to the amount of things it has. "Let me help you."
What you didn't expect was her passing you the box. The heavy things make you almost lose control.
She left without saying a word. You walk slowly to the exit. Your back killing you from the weight you have in your hands.
Melissa noticed you were struggling with the box. Rushing to help you. "Didn't occur to make two trips?" She asks, taking one side of the box.
You nod out of breath. You two left the box in a little table you prepare. "I was thinking two trips. But Kylian's mother gave me the whole box." You sigh.
Melissa shakes her head, she was the only one who noticed that Fayza treated you in a non fairly way.
She never mentioned anything to you or to Kylian. It wasn't her place, but she didn't like the attitude towards you.
"Let's get this ready, I want a cold shower." She smiles, organizing with you.
You had a special thing about the way kids can easily be drawn to you. You loved the way kids felt so secure with you.
So seeing you interact with the kids as you hand them their bags was something that didn't surprised Kylian.
He was focused on the way you were talking to a little boy who was crying. Trying to calm him down.
"Kyks, the last thing you need to do is say the goodbye words, and we can leave." Fayza hands him the speech. When Kylian doesn't take the paper out of her hands, she turns to him. "Kylian, I'm talking to you."
"She's a natural, don't you think?" He asks her. She turns to where he is seeing. It was you with a kid on your hip while you give the others their bags. "She will be an amazing mother."
"Don't run when you can barely walk, Kylian. You are too young and too naive of what life is."
"Maybe I am, but I know that I would do everything for her."
Fayza turns back to him. Grabbing his wrist and leaving the paper in his hand. He then pays attention to his mother.
"Goodbye words, now." She says before leaving.
Kylian does what his mother asks him. Thanking everybody who helped that day and what the purpose of the activity was.
You and Melissa were eating a few treats that the kids got. Ranking them to keep yourselves occupied while waiting for Kylian and Fayza.
You feel two hands grabbing your waist. The smell of Dior Sauvage makes you smile. "What's that?"
"Hello to you too, Mister Mbappé." You joke with him. Turning your face to kiss his cheek. "Mel and I are eating this cupcakes, but this is chocolate chips, we rate it a 7."
You feed him a piece. Humming at the taste. "I'll rate it a solid 9." He says, looking at you. "What else you got here?"
"This is lemon, and this to me is a 10." You feed him again. Watching him roll his eyes at the taste of the cupcake. "And wait for the next one. It's even better."
Fayza looks from afar, picking her stuff and walking closer to the three of you. "Kylian, you shouldn't be eating those."
You stop your actions. Putting the piece of cupcake back in the little plate. "I'm sorry, it was my fault." You smile at her.
She has her shades on, but you have the feeling that she rolled her eyes. "Let's just go. Please."
You look at Melissa, she gave you a look. "Melissa and I are leaving together." You hug Kylian while Melissa went to get her things. "What you do here is so amazing, Ky." You kiss him. "I admire you so much."
He has this cocky smile, he loves being praised, especially by you. "Thank you for helping." He kisses your cheek. "I'll meet you at your place, deal?"
You nod, saying a quick goodbye to him. Melissa was waiting for you. You two chat about things that happened during the weekend.
You drop her home, wishing her a goodnight. When you were on your way home, you stopped at Kylians' favorite restaurant. Ordering his favorite dessert.
After a quick shower and some food, you hear the front door getting closed. You wait to see your boyfriend walking.
He does this funny dancing to something that was streaming on his phone. You laugh. This definitely was something tik tok girls would love to use for the "kylian core" type of thing.
"Are you pulling a show for me?" You ask, happy to see him having fun.
The season was a long one. A very tired one. Now that he announced that he was joining Madrid and that France national team won the Euros, he was able to relax.
He leaves the phone on the counter, grabbing your hands and making you stand. You dance at the rhythm of the song.
You love moments like this. Only you and him, enjoying something a simple like dancing in the middle of your kitchen.
"Okay, time out, time out." You say, hands signaling the time out. "I got something for you, open the fridge."
He smiles, guessing what that might be. When he does, he does a happy dance. Making you laugh.
"Mom is going to hate you for getting me this." He laughs.
You scuff, you know he doesn't say it with that intention, but to you is a weird feeling. "You are allowed to a sweet thing." You reply. Kissing his lips.
"Am I allowed to this sweet piece I have in front of me?" He asks, eyebrows popping up and down.
You blush. He always jokes with you like that. And even after all these years you blush like crazy.
"I think you need to rest for the Euros, baby."
"But I've been resting, and I miss you like crazy." He beggs, hugging you by the waist. "Please, amour." He kiss your hair.
"If you get tired and lose a game, I'll feel bad and guilty."
He pouts, leaving the pâtisserie in the table. He hugs you, but not the typical hug. This is more of a touch starve kind of hug.
"You are so needy." You laugh. He smiles at your laugh. "What's going on?" You ask curious. He was acting up.
"I saw you with the kids today, and God, you looked amazing." He confesses the way his smiles are shining and the way his eyes lighten up at the memory. "I can't wait for us to have our own." He kiss you.
You talked about this in the past, how you two wanted to wait a little bit, specially now with him moving to Madrid and having to find the right schedule to see who will visit who and when.
"The time will come, my love." You peck him. "Now let's go upstairs and pretend to watch a movie while you kiss me how I like it."
He makes a small happy dance again, grabbing his pâtisserie and hurrying back next to your side as you walk upstairs with him, hand in hand.
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"I'm so nervous, I want them to win so bad." You say to Helena, Kounde's girlfriend.
She laughed at how cute you looked all worried. "Calm down! It's going to go well."
You nod at her, trying to relax to enjoy the game. You had this feeling, but you thought it was just the normal feelings before a big game.
The game began, you were happy and excited about Kylian as a captain. He was so passionate about this team.
Helena, you and the other wags that joined the game were all seated together. You loved them and they were so nice and kind to you.
Antoine got hurt. Thanks to a player from the other team, he ended up facing up the fence. Head and knee bleeding at the impact of it.
The whole stadium was crazy, fans from the other team yelling profanities at the French team, at Antoine, and at the referee because it was a yellow.
And the French fans were yelling too in support of Antoine and the team. It was all crazy. The medical team helping him.
We turned to Erika, Antoine's wife, she was trying to see if the situation requires her to be alarmed or if she could be calm.
When the medical team finishes with the bandage, Antoine turns to where we are, giving Erika a thumbs up.
We feel better now. He was fine, and we relaxed. It was fun how his bandage was kinda slipping and moving on top of his head.
The game was entertaining, it was 1 - 0
The first goal was scored during the first time of the match. So, the team has to prevent Austria from scoring.
"I feel anxious." You say.
"It's just the game, I feel like Austria is kinda playing dirty. I don't know."
Just a few seconds later you see how Kylian and other players go for the ball with the head. When he falls his nose hits the shoulder or the Austrian player.
The whole stadium got silent for a second, the big screen showing his bloody nose. Some of the players make the referee stop the game for him to get assistance.
You feel a headache grows. The pain he must be feeling right now. "That must hurt like hell" Erika says.
You can't even look, focusing on your phone and seeing the text from Ethan. He asked you if Kylian was okay since some sports channels cut to other things instead of him getting help from the medical team.
You snap a picture of the field where you can see kylian getting help. He looked really bad, the blood on his shirt, the tearful eyes.
After the help, he kept playing. You shake your head at him, he kept looking at the bleachers, at where you are.
You hate when he feels like superman and thinks he can overcome everything by playing. News flash, he can't.
While he was trying to get past this player, he slap him in the face, which probably didn't even hurt, what hurted was his most likely broken nose.
"He needs to go to the hospital." Helena tells you. "I think they are switching him with Olivier. If they do, you should go to the dressing room with him."
"Yes, maybe get him to go to the hospital." Erika says.
Olivier makes the cut. He's now on the field replacing your boyfriend. Kylian is taken to the medical room, they will tell if he needs urgent care or if he can wait for the match to end.
You were thankful that the pass you have allows you to be in different parts of the stadium. You needed to see him before a decision was taken about him going to the hospital right now or if he was staying till the end.
"Hey!" You say, walking into the medical room. "Hi, amour." You grab his shoulders.
He grabs your hand, not feeling like saying anything. He's breathing through his nose, the tears are still there.
"We have to take him for a check, we can't really determine if his nose is broken or just fractured."
You nod, "Can I shower?" He asks.
"Be careful, please. We will help you wash your face so you can shower freely."
They help him wash his face and around his nose, you can see his discomfort when they pass the cotton ball near his nose.
"Can you wait for me at the hotel?"
"No, kyks. I'm going with you."
"Deschamps is going with me, and you landed before the match. You must be tired." He hugs you.
You were tired, you had a horrible flight and he knows it. "It's okay, I want to be by your side."
He smiles, hugging you. "Thank you."
You help him with his things. Carrying his toiletry bag and his phone. You text Ethan, telling him that you will update him when you get details.
He was in pain, you can tell by the way he is gripping his cap. He's not talking with Deschamps, he's just nodding or shaking his head no.
You stayed in the waiting room at the hospital, checking the candy at the machine. Your stomach was crazy for something.
"Hey!" you heard, turning to fins him with some bandage covering his nose. He explains what is going on and what the doctors told him. "Let's go."
You text his brother, updating him on what Kylian told you. He thanked you for the updates, feeling a little less stressed.
"Merci, good night." You wave goodbye to the chauffeur and the security people.
You walk with him to the room. You weren't supposed to be there with him, since the French Federation didn't allowed the players to bring company to their rooms.
But they allowed it since Kylian requested to have you to check on him like the doctor asked.
You feel his phone vibrate in your hand, the ID called showing his mother's name. "Ky, is your mom." You knock on the bathroom door.
"Pick up, I don't want to talk. S'il te plaît, mon amour." He shouts from inside.
"Hello, Miss Lamari." You say, your voice was tired.
"Oh, it's you." She sighs. "Can I talk to my son?"
"He's tired and asked me to pick the phone for him. If you want to know how he's doing, the doctor said his nose would be fine for him to play but with a protective mask. The Federation will get him one for training and the official one for the match on match day."
You explained everything, so the call was cut short. You don't have the energy or passion to do anything.
"And I can ask him to call you tomorrow, I'm sorry he can't pick up, but he's not in the mood to deal with anything today."
"Thank you for the updates." You hear the voice of Ethan. "Tell Kylian I say hi."
You smile. "I will, E."
"Bonne nuit." He says happily.
"Miss Lamari, I'll make sure Kylian calls you tomorrow before training. I'm sorry he can't right now."
"Fine, bonne nuit." She says and hangs up.
You throw the phone on the bed. Sitting on the edge. You can't take more of today than you already did.
Kylian walks out of the bathroom. Holding a towel in this hands. You wait for him to initiate a conversation. Not wanting to intrude into his thoughts.
After about five minutes of staring at him while he searches something on his luggage. You decide to speak.
"Do you want me to give you a massage?" You ask, noticing his tense muscles. "I have a warm cream."
He nods, taking his shirt off carefully. You ask him to lay in a position where his nose wasn't compromised.
You played some low music to calm him down, something very nice like jazz. You worked on his back.
He hummed, relaxing at your touch. He knows how much you wanted for him to be relaxed and to feel better after the day he had.
He fell asleep, you washed your hands and changed into your pajamas to join him in bed. It was going to be some hard weeks for him.
But you were going to be there.
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You felt tired, the moving wasn't exactly the best. With some of your belongings getting lost.
"I promise they will be here by the end of the weekend." The guy from the moving company says. "We have them located. We are just waiting for a truck to send it to our warehouse."
"Thank you, I'll appreciate you speeding things for us."
You say goodbye to him, grabbing your purse to go to the mall. You needed something for the week.
Kylian asked you to pick some things he ordered from the stores. You only had three outfits, so you decided to abuse your power of his card and to take yourself shopping.
You spend quite some time in the mall, just roaming around the stores. When you head back to your new home you find a car parked in the driveway.
"I'll get these inside, Miss." The chauffeur says, you nod, thanking him for the help.
You walk inside, noticing a luggage and a box. "Hello?"
You walk into the kitchen, finding Fayza and her assistant talking and eating something. "Oh, hi."
They both turn to you. Fayza lifts her hand, saying hi. They keep their conversation. You didn't understand much of French.
When you moved to France to work, you tried to learn the language, to speak better and more naturally.
However, your work was mostly in English and Kylian, and you talked in English, and when you were with him, he translated everything to you.
Plus, you are not the best at learning new things, and French was complicated. You know how to talk with someone in a very simple conversation, but you can't fully understand a business talk or whatever talk they are having.
You walk to the fridge, taking a juice. You feel weird with both of them just ignoring your presence.
"Excuse me, Fayza is asking if her room is ready."
"I didn't knew you were coming today, so I'll go make it right now."
You walk quick upstairs, picking the sheets and everything you need to get the room ready. You make sure the bed and everything in the room is perfect.
You don't need a reason for her to tell you that something bothers her. You already have enough of those.
"Miss Lamari, the room is ready." You call from the stairs. You grab some sheets and a towel for her assistant. When you see her and Fayza walking. "Hey, this is for the guest room." You say, handing her the things.
"Did you iron the sheets like I asked Kylian? The weather is cold and I don't like cold sheets." She says.
You know she's doing this to bother you. Who irons their sheets?
"No, but I can do it. Are you okay with waiting a few more minutes?"
She rolls her eyes. "No, leave it like this."
"Okay." You smile. "Want some coffee? I just got this French press and this new coffee that tastes amaz-"
"Peux-tu te taire? tu es tellement ennuyeux" (Can you shut up? you're so annoying) She says. She walks past you, getting inside the room.
"That means that maybe later." The assistant says. Fake smiling at you.
You go back to your room, already stressed about the interaction.
You got the last box of Kylians clothes, ironing some of the clothes. You send Kylian a picture of his now very organized closet.
You hear a knock, making you walk to the door. "Fayza wants to talk to you. Come, please."
You roll your eyes at her, walking behind to the room of the mother of your boyfriend. "Yes, Miss Lamari?"
"Kylian mentioned earlier that you will work with him, I need to know what kind of work."
You blink a few times, not prepared for her to be so straightforward. "He asked me to work for the foundation."
"Okay, understood." She wrote something on a notebook. "That will not work for me, I think you can find something else."
You stand there just looking at her write things, you don't know what to say to her. Did she just fire you?
You were about to speak again, but she interrupted you. "I would love some coffee, and maybe some milk but on the side. Thank you."
You nod, walking outside and to the kitchen. You brew some coffee and grab a wood board for her sides.
You think on what to say to re open the conversation about the job. You want to have her understanding that you will be doing that job.
"Got the coffee, everything else on the side like you asked me, I even got you some of the cookies I know you like."
"Mhm." She mumbles. Not even looking at you.
"I want to talk to you about the job topic." You say, nervous about it. "I already compromised with this job and I think it's better if you talk with Kylian about the changes you want."
"I mean, if you want it to be him to repeat what I just told you, fine by me."
You take a deep breath. You don't feel like having this conversation with her. "Miss Lamari, I quit my job and left my home to come live with Kylian in Madrid. I don't think this is up for discussion. The job is the only reason why I agree to move."
"If you ask, maybe they'll hire you again. And I'm sure you can find another apartment. My assistant can help with that."
"I'll let Kylian and you discuss this when he's here in Madrid." You say, trying not to snap. "If you need anything you can call me, I'll be in my room."
You hurry, grabbing your phone to FaceTime Kylian.
"Bonjour." He says, smiling at you. "I got you the jersey you wanted." He turns his camera to show you the jersey thrown in the hotel chair.
"Thank you, that's cool." You smile. You don't want to say anything now that you see how relaxed he is. "Hey, I called to check on you. Miss you, my love."
"I do too, but only two more, hopefully." He smiles. "Hey, you told your parents about the moving?"
You make a face. "It was meh"
"Problems in paradise." He tries to joke. You half smile. "Was is that bad?"
"My mom told me that I was making a mistake by following you, that they payed a lot for my education for me to just throw it away."
"I'm sorry." He says. You can see he understands where your parents are coming from. "I wouldn't want our daughter to follow some weirdo around." He jokes.
You laugh, loving how he takes every opportunity to not only make you feel better but you mention how he sees a future with you.
"Yeah, but I will feel weird to think out daughter in law will have her parents call our son a loser or weirdo."
"When he wins a world cup like daddy, they would love him."
You forget why you even call him in the first place. You love how talking with him is so easy.
"I'll take a shower, and then I'll go to bed. I love you. I can't wait to see the game tomorrow."
"Don't eat shampoo." He jokes again, making you laugh. "Bonne nuit, amour."
"Bonne nuit, my champion." You blow him a kiss.
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"Ethan, stop that." You laugh, watching him throw his nerf shots at you and Kylian. "Attack your brother, not me."
You three were back in Paris. You were lucky to get one small break in the same days Ethan got one.
"Let's drive to moms house. She will be mad if we are late for lunch." Kylian says.
You let him get up from the couch. You didn't want to go, first because she invited Kylian only and second because you already sense the tension.
"Go pick the car you want to take." You say to Ethan.
He nods excited and runs to the garage, ready to pick the lost luxurious car his brother has.
"Out your shoes on, we have to leave." Kylian says, jokingly smacking your thigh with his hand. "We don't want to be late."
You don't want to say no, but you can't just pretend you got sick in the whole minute he went to get his shoes.
"Are you sure she invited the two of us? Maybe she just wants a family only kind of lunch."
"Amour, you are family." He laughs, kissing your lips. "Plus, I think she's finally starting to open to you. She asked about you yesterday."
You wait for him to turn to roll your eyes. She did ask, but to know if you were in the house not to see you around when she arrived.
"Okay, let me get my shoes."
You grabbed your shoes, make sure you looked presentable, add some perfume and brushed your hair real quick.
"Let's go, my passenger princess." You joke with your boyfriend. Smacking his ass on your way out.
You three drive while listening to Ethans Playlist. Kylian and him were talking about a game Ethan has.
When you arrive at their mothers home, you parked. "Go inside, say hi to your mommy." You joke with him, grabbing his cheeks and squishing them.
"Rude." He pouts. Leaving and walking inside.
You exit the car slowly. You feel two hands on your shoulders. Knowing exactly who it is. "Ethan, you can't scare me."
He laughs, hugging you. "Missed you, can't wait to spend some time with you two in Madrid."
"I can't wait either, missed my little baby brother." You kiss his hand that you were holding.
The connection between Ethan and you was something nobody could break. He trusted you with his heart, and you trusted him with yours.
You two laugh at something he says to you as you walk in. You see that Melissa and the kids were there, Fayza and her sister and Kylian.
"Bonjour." You say to them. Noticing the dirty look Fayza gave you.
The rest say hello back to you. You talk with Kylians aunt, telling her about the foundation work you are doing in Spain.
The table was an 8 set. And you notice how the husband of the aunt is there. You feel weird about having to ask for an extra chair.
"Here, take my seat. I'll just grab another." He says.
"Oh, it's okay, I can't get the extra one. Please."
"Fine, but if you want it at any point, tell me." He smiles.
You grab a small stool, sitting next to Kylian, who was talking with Lana. "Bonjour, Lana." You smile. She returns the smile to you.
You notice how Fayza is serving the plates, mad expression on her face. You feel so bad about thinking coming was a good idea.
"Everything alright, mom?" Ethan asks. Noticing her face.
"Oui, just fixing something. Got extra people I wasn't expecting."
Ethan looks around. Not understanding the comment. "But, we all are here."
She just shakes her head. "I just think it's rude to come without an invitation." She whispers to him. But not quiet enough for Kylian and you to hear.
Kylian was about to say something, but his aunt was quicker. "Wait but I thought this was a family thing, and we all are here."
"Tout le monde ici n'est pas de la famille, je le dis simplement." She says. (Not everybody here is family, just saying.) Looking at you for a second.
You understood every word she said.
Kylian got mad at the comment. You were family. You were the girl he picture himself growing a family with.
You are the girl who left her whole life just to move to a foreign country for him to follow his dreams.
"Nous sommes tous une famille ici." (We all are family here) He says, mad at the comment. You grab his hand that was on his thigh. Trying to calm him down.
"And we even invite Tchaga and my friend Bruno." Ethan says.
"They are family, she is not."
Thinking about her not seeing you as family was one thing. But her telling it to your face was another. It hurted.
"Maman, c'est-" kylian began.
"Kylian, it's okay." You interrupted. "I'm leaving. Please don't start anything. This is your mother, and she's right. I'm not invited."
You try to get up, but his hand on your arm pulls you down to your seat again.
"Maman, she's not leaving." He states. "She's family to me, to Ethan and to dad."
Fayza drops the fork she's holding. Laughing at how brave and funny her son looks. "Vous continuez à rêver de choses que vous ne pouvez pas obtenir avec elle." (You keep daydreaming about things you can't get with her.) She says, knowing you don't understand much French.
"Miss Lamari, I'm leaving. I'm sorry." You get up, quicker this time for him to catch you. "I'm sorry." You say to everyone.
"Acting like the victim." She laughs. "Maybe that's why your mother doesn't like you." She smiles, knowing she just hit a soft spot.
You got quiet, looking over at Kylian, who was in shook at her words. "I'm sorry if I intruded your lunch. I'm leaving now."
You were about to walk out of the room when you hear Kylian calling your name. Making you turn your head. He was standing.
He walks over to you, grabbing your hand. "You crossed a line that I don't think you can return to. I understand you feel like every girl that got close to me was there for the money and shit, but she's not."
"Kyl-"
"No." He says louder, he's angry. "She's the woman I'm going to marry someday. She's the person I live with and who left her entire life here just to support me in my career. She's going to be the mother of my children, you like it or not." He squish your hand a little harder.
He turns to look at you, feeling hurt at the tears in your eyes.
"And if you don't apologize, then you can get used to the idea of not seeing me. Because if you don't like her around, you don't like me either."
He turns, pulling you to the entrance of the house. He slams the door behind him. Grabbing the keys and opening the car door for you.
"Can you drive?"
You nod, whipping the tears and smiling at him. "Je t'aime." You grab his face, kissing him.
He hugs you tight, resting his forehead on yours. "Let's go home, yeah?"
You nod. Pecking him. "Let's go home."
The drive was quiet, you didn't feel like talking, and he didn't know what to say.
He felt hurt by the words. He thought it was just his mother being uptight with you, but it was more.
"I'm sorry about her." He grabs your hand.
"It hurts, but I know I have you." You hug him, enjoying being in his arms. "That's all I need."
"No matter what she thinks or what anyone thinks, you have me, always will."
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celaenaeiln · 1 year ago
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One of Dick's greatest strengths is his ability to manipulate every single person in existence.
Genuinely I think this makes him the smartest person in the room. Not only is he a brilliant detective, but the fact that he's able to outmaneuver and control virtually everyone including other geniuses and masterminds makes him the most terrifying. There's a reason why his enemies have give up using intelligence against him and simply resorting to brute force.
Now hold your horses before you bring your crowbars and let me explain.
Dick once said, "On an even playing field, I always win."
And it's true. But how do you even the field if your enemies are geniuses, detectives, or metas?
"Well, if you don't like how the table is it, turn over the table."
And that's exactly what Dick does.
Let's begin from his younger years. Dick is 19, newly out of Batman's wing and in no position to take on a skilled mercenary on by himself. But the mercenary isn't going to stop just because he says please. So.
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DEATHSTROKE WAS CLEARLY NOT EXPECTING TO GET OUTPLAYED BY A 19 YEAR OLD.
"You're right Slade, he's not a fool so choose a dumber kidnapping victim next time."
Ofcourse this is the least of his abilities.
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This cover is perfect because it shows how two of them are literally in a constant game of chess. And evidence of Dick's tactical expertise was never more obvious than the bombing of Bludhaven.
By all means Dick had won.
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And he's right. Dick is incredibly intelligent, and he has to be given how he maneuvered the entirety of the world to save him city. Not just the heroes and villains, but everyone - the heroes, the villains, the government, the civilians, the organized crime - everyone. He ruled the freaking world at that moment.
@haroldhighballjordan actually made a post about this that explains this scene so well
But yeah Slade knew he lost so in his petty vengeance what he basically did was set the whole fucking chessboard on fire.
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The perfection to which Dick had calculated and moved millions of people to force Slade into abandoning their game and leave him shrieking and seething in rage over his loss. Another reminder that this game only happened because Dick manipulated Rose away from her father, away from his control to a better life.
Spyral is one of my favorite comics because it shows just how good of a manipulator Dick Grayson is.
One of Dick's coldest traits is his ability to manipulate a situation to fit his needs.
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In the beginning Dick wanted to calm the meta down and take him in but the second his opponent let out the slightest hint of weakness, look how fast he flips his words. This man is brilliant.
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And his planning came to fruition as the meta wore himself out, allowing Dick to take control of the situation and the opponent with no harm to himself-a quick, two second exit. He can manipulate emotions, thoughts, and people to get what he wants like he's playing chess with a child.
But it's not just other people- he can completely change himself to become a whole new person. In the earlier chapters, Dick is learning how to shoot a gun for the agency.
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Dick's a terrible shot. Not a single bullet lands in the center of the target-there's no way he's ever going to shoot well....or atleast that's what he wants you to think-
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"Yeah, well, that's what spies do."
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"We lie."
He's a puppet master and the final boss.
part 2
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pierofilm · 2 months ago
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yandere simulator; xo (only if you say yes)
2024 | 18+ | RUNTIME: 23K | STARRING > Y.JW | SUMMARY; when you—a corporate worker in her late twenties—finds a strange self-proclaimed online game "no one has ever win this game yet", where its premise are centered around yanderes, but instead of the classic route where the yanderes had to chase you, it is you who have to do it; turn the boy you've chosen into a lovesick creature for you before someone else does. playing it online is surely fine, but what happens when you find yourself stuck in its world?
GENRE: yandere, survival/death game, character-driven story, violence/gore, dark psychology, psychological thriller, drama
LVL 2 WARNING: intense emotional outbursts, minor graphic details of gore, ;; not a native eng speaker! grammar errors ahead!,
THEME MUSIC: ROSEATE LIGHT / BGM.
DIRECTOR'S CUT, ep 2 is finally out after two months of grinding!! its not my best work, as im kind of bummed with my eng. i've revised it countless of times, so apologies for any mistakes but regardless i hope yall will still love it <3 btw i don't do taglist for my works, apologies for that! so today concludes the last release for this roleplay game bc i have to finish two film projects which has been delayed for quite awhile now :'( so there won't be any update until further notice! soo yeah 𖹭 hope you enjoy and tyvm for reading!
loading... lvl ②
this is a roleplay story game with a poll, where you may either choose to observe yourself as the protagonist or the one helping the protagonist. to play the game, it is advise to read the story properly because once you've reached the bottom, a poll will be presented with multiple routes you have to choose. every level's poll has a 1-week time limit, and therefore it is advise to not rush to vote and to have a discussion among each other first, and to think wisely which choice you think are the best —as the majority of the votes will decide how the game progresses. but its important to keep in mind, that each route has its advantages and disadvantages and may lead to the protagonists' downfall rather than benefiting her.
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AUG 23. 2024
EARTH, ****
i. WHAT IS A GAME TO YOU?
A game is an activity, one that engages with for newfound experiences, for amusement and fun, or simply out of pure boredom.
In a sense, it is a virtual world where you are able to do something you were unable to do in the real world; to live out a role. There are numerous, vast array of games, whether it be analog or digital. So many of them, you couldn't get the definitive, exact count of the total number that exists in the world.
But does that even matter when its main core is to give you an experience out of this world?
The real world.
Where humans assume a role the moment they realize what it meant to live and survive, yet not just one but many. We often rotate these roles like a roulette depending on who we talk with, or what kind of situation we're in, maybe what is expected of us, or to abide by of what is our current status and position.
The origin of the word 'role' could be trace back further to French rôle from obsolete French roule ‘roll’, referring to the roll of paper on which an actor's part was written, and also from Latin—rotula, rotulus 'little wheel', which is a diminutive of rota 'wheel'.
In a sense, we created scripts in our head of how we should act. Because think of this, how would you act if your mechanics suddenly acted like a doctor? Its weird, right? Or maybe depending on your opinion, you may find it hilarious.
That's why we act according to our role, the part given to us, and the many parts that we've assumed on our own.
The most famous quote expressing this comes from Shakespeare: "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts." 
Shakespeare are implying that all of us are constantly wearing masks. That some people are better actors than others, and he was right.
Person, comes from Old French persone, which derived from Latin persona which means 'actor's mask, character in a play'.
We're all actors in a colossal stage play, with roles to play.
A theatre; maybe you could compare the the actors as blocks—maybe a Jenga? A colossal building blocks that fits perfectly together, forming a cohesive tightly fitting society. Major or minor, each block is a component that serves a purpose to the society—fulfilling our respective roles. Yet that role can be taken away as easy as it was given to you, or even if you worked hard for it.
Why?
There are exactly eight billion people in this world, and these numbers will kept growing. Shall that mask comes off, or if you do not play your role properly, will society still accept you?
No. We are all too easily replaceable.
One block could be filled in or pulled out when the circumstances sees it fit, it's one heck of a big thing, anyways.
Whether it be in your personal life such as friendships, ever heard about trios rarely works? Or in relationships where your lover seems to pay no attention to you any longer and you are left wondering what went wrong? Or perhaps, in your career—where you are thrown out as soon as someone new, someone way younger and capable than you are came around despite pouring your best efforts in that field for so long.
A brief, momentary experience.
Yet some blocks get to never fit in, though. Never knowing how it feels like to be in one. Because it just, never fits in. It remains as a part of the auditorium, sandwiched in between the audience seat.
Say, you desire to inherit a farm or live in the countryside but you don't even have any family nor relatives in this field. Ever wanted to ride a dragon and wear a dazzling heavy armor across the sky? Or have your own restaurant whether it be a Chinese cuisine, maybe not that one but a pizza restaurant where you serve millions of people? Start your own business startup, sign all those contracts with the tycoons and earn that huge bucks of stacks but just don't have the time, energy, and capital to do so? Or maybe a pet shop because you had the unrealistic wish to own dozens of pet breeds?
Want to go through the nine-month process of pregnancy but all the post-pregnancy effects has your face cringing in fear? Or you just wanted to have a small cozy home yet you're too broke to even afford one? A healthy relationship, a functional family? A loving mother? Sure. A responsible father? On the way! Or you just wanted to feel loved? The bare minimum of all?
Sometimes, we're not so satisfied with the roles we end up in—that we are engulfed with a desire.
It could just be a mere hobby, to escape reality, a stress reliever, or to be part of a story you've never been and desires to be in. Its a role that deviates from who you are, from the hands of judgement of the court, where no one can judge you. To live as someone.
A virtual experiences. An immersion. A roleplay. A recreation. A simulation. Whatever you call it, all of them was meant to satisfy. To satisfy an urge, a want, a need—a desire for something. To feel something. To fill in this hollow void within.
To relive what was lost or to live what never existed in the first place.
Because why do we even read stories in the first place, then?
Something you can only do behind that screen, just a second away from your digits.
A chance.
And you were being given the second chance to relive those experience one more time, without having to give something in return.
It is one in a lifetime chance, the fact they don't give this freely to anyone enticed you, tempted you.
You desired to be love and craved for with no care for limit. For you were sure as hell no one would go crazy for you in this life. For you, yanderes are the epitome of love that are eternal and immortal. Anyone can say what they want to, but this kind love, no matter how toxic it may be, are divinely tempting.
For once, you wanted to be loved, not to love.
What harm would it do to you, even? Unless this game pulled a dirty trick of asking you to pay a heavy sum of bucks after, then it go screw itself, you could just press the exit button as swift as you can but for now, you'll see to it.
You accepted the package.
Pressing the button, a set of gift boxes in a variety of colours in their ribbons appeared much to your surprise, floating around in a rhythmic motion accompanied by a new BGM before settling down in a row at the bottom of your screen.
Curious, yet intrigued—you tapped on each gift box.
➤ .. 🎁 HEARTY EYES: APPEARANCE INCREASED BY 10 POINTS!
➤ .. 🎁 LOVE POTION: A WHIFF OF ROSY SCENT!
➤ .. 🎁REPUTATION METER: INCREASE BY 5 POINTS!
New XPs and skills made its appearance one by one, lighting up your eyes with delight and excitement. This new additional gifts would surely help you in your second try! A final gift box appeared out of blue much to your surprise, there's one more? Gulping down with giddiness, exceedingly curious of what it could contain, you tapped it with no hesitation.
➤ .. 🎁 DRESS-UP DARLING, THE GRAND INVITATION: REVEL IN YOUR NEW SKIN!
Eh? Invitation? Skin..?
You rubbed your heavy lids, for what purpose would you need a new skin for? Brows knitted deeply together deeply the peculiar package. Perhaps it could contained some extra points that may increase your appearance judging by its title.
New skin..
You accepted the gift box, and to your surprise—it returned you back to the options of play again, or return to the main menu in which you pressed the latter. What? That's it? No such thing as redirecting you into a fishy website, or all those eye-boggling digits?
Breathing out a small wow, although short-lived as your jaw dropped. Gasping after noticing the devil hours glaring back at you—illuminating your dark eyebags in blue hues—the sequences of events where your employer scolded you, slamming the colossal bold title of 'fired'—sending you in sheer panic.
Placing it under your pillow on your right side, you hurried to sleep as you tucked yourself in your cozy blankets.
Pitch black cloaked the entire expanse of the sky, yet the hush of the moon herself—conquered with vigor, casted a soothing spell—beckoning your heavy lids to succumb to its embrace.
Drifting into the darkness, you did.
Unbeknownst to you, a glow of light flickers beneath your pillow—illuminating the edge of your slumber face, approaching like mist— overshadowing the moon—dusting half of your nose a stroke of rosy tint, morphing into a heavier shade that consumes your face, to scathing your entire skin in streaks of crimson.
It progressively crawled out like an animated form of blood, dripping down your bed and onto your floor—morphing into razor sharp fingers that obscured your windows from the outside world.
Submerging your window in deep red, illustrating the image of an apocalyptic day.
The floor, your furniture, your closet—enveloped by its approaching force—bathing everything it could see in red. Returning to your side, it tucks your locks behind your ear before slithering across your arm, twirling around and settling on the table by the bed.
A display screen glowed amidst the flaming red, typing out a text:
APRIL 8, 2026 ➤ .. Good night, my darling.
The ceiling of your room greeted your drowsy lids. You groaned, irritated by the rays of the sun peering through the gaps of the curtain—casting its searing heat on your face.
You shifted your body where your back faces the window, your hands instinctively searching for your phone under your pillow, frowning when you couldn't grab anything.
Head clouded with slumber, you were sure you had placed it right there. Shifting your body once more, yawning as you stretched your hands on the bedside table.
There it is!
Raising your eyelids a bit, you tapped your phone's screen twice expecting to be greeted by your lock screen. Eyebrows knitting deeply as you quickly paused, rubbing your eyes to get a better look.
"Huh?"
Stunned by the peculiar color of rosy pink blotting your blurry vision. You felt the cold material in your palms, searching for the supposedly touch screen but it was too small and slim—hold on. You jammed your thumb in-between the two layers, flicking it open.
The heck is this? A flip phone? You were sure you've threw your barely working flip phone years ago. And it wasn't even p-pink?
Your sleep-dazed brain swirls with deeper confusion as you navigated through the strange tiny icons. All dripping in pink much to your disbelief.
Favors? Schedule? Student info? What the heck is all this weird stuffs? Your eyes widened when you finally notice the three-digit clock, it propels your body to tense almost immediately, sitting right up with eyes blown wide.
A high-pitched of whines escapes your lips. You're in for a great risk of getting fired today. You pulled the blanket off your frame, hurrying to get ready before all the eerie prospects in your mind come true—
Huh? Hold on.
Your body halted when you put your bare feet on the floor, eyes falling on a carpet that strangely looks a tad bit different than it used to. The patterns? The color? Groaning, you passed it off as another trick your brain playing on you as you just woke up. You rubbed your groggy eyes, yawning as you sprinted to the bathroom.
You really got no time for this, mumbling as you grabbed your toothbrush, putting a toothpaste on it before pushing into your mouth. So much for playing the damn game, now you're terribly, terribly late.
A fatal hit to your ten year streak as a diligent corporate worker. Now that you thought of it, a sigh escapes amidst the bubbles in your mouth. After awhile, with this mundane average life of yours that you've lived over the years, you've begin to wonder when will the time come for you to save up enough money to be able to quit? You've never had even a single vacation out of embarrassment and consideration for your co-workers.
At some point, you've felt like you were an automatic machine repeating and completing the same tasks every single day for ten years. It came to a brief thought that perhaps you were only truly living at night.
If only there's a world where you an escape to for awhile, away from this boring reality. But there's no way that world exists. If only you could—
Thoughts halted, looking at your reflection in the mirror. There is something wrong, and no, it's not your face—though you look strangely youthful? Leaning closer, you inspected your features with furrowed brows. Dark eyebags and the wrinkles nowhere to be found.
Eh?
Heck, you weren't that old, for sure. Yet you look slightly younger for some reason. Squinting your eyes, you stood a few inches away from the mirror, pulling a random poses as you try to observe anything you could find. Poking your cheeks that was strangely supple, a stark contrast of the hollow cheekbones you captured in your camera a few days ago, complaining to your friend of how you were aging so rapidly.
All those random beauty products she recommended to you finally worked out? Or was it the short burst of sleep you got? Knitting your eyebrows together at the thought as you resumed brushing your teeth, it can't be though?
Wait. Hold on.
You let out a gasp, snapping your head behind to you where your bathtub stood in it's glory. That's it. That's the shit. That pristine ceramic shooting rays against your face.
You don't have a fucking bathtub.
Where did that giant heck of a thing came from?
You've spent all your years dreaming for one, to submerged yourself in bubbles to chill in after a long day of work.
However to do that, a better apartment and an extra space is what you needed first, where you could put everything in their respective place. Having everything meld into one small room is mentally exhausting, and that wish only seems get further and further away from your grasp when that five digits holding the thread of your life keeps slamming you back to reality, leaving you cramped up inside your tiny apartment.
Maybe this is the sign that you should just be grateful and not to be greedy for more. But..
But this thing—is truly in front of you.
You took a few steps backwards to take a full view of the bathroom; it's oddly familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. You were sure you've seen this somewhere but you can't put it right in your mouth. With confusion hanging in your head so deep, you took a few gargles—finishing up.
Thinking back to it, this bathtub kind of look familiar.
You stood by the door, pausing for a thought you tilt your head sideways.
Something is amiss and it begin to sink in.
This is not your room.
With the realization setting in complete form, you stood there in bewilderment—snapping your head around, observing the unfamiliar furniture and corners of this strange room.
Where are you? And what the hell is that uniform hanging at the wall for? Are you perhaps having a lucid dream, where you could feel pain and all that sort of stuff? It must be those weird YouTube videos you've watched over the past few days.
Somehow, this looks like.. This looks like just like—
No way, though. You let out a nervous laugh. Pinching your cheeks hard, you let out a terribly loud 'ow', frowning at the throbbing pain. Why the heck does it hurts so much?!
➤ .. WELCOME, DARLING! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR SO LONG!
You lose your balance, letting out a high-pitched scream from your throat—tipping off your sole when a huge floating pink object emerged out of nothing at your face. A computer display?! Almost like the science fiction films you've watched, it resembled a hologram but much, much more vivid and vibrant, floating before you.
A p-popup?
"W—what? Huh?!" Elbows digging on the floor, your expressions contorts into an amalgamation of fear and confusion. You hissed at the throbbing pain on your butt, rubbing it off to ease the pain. Why the heck does it hurt so much?!
You notice as it swiftly typed out a question.
➤ .. OH MY... HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?
What is that thing?..
"W-what? What did I forgot?" Stammering, you blurted out without much thought.
➤ .. YOU LOSE LAST NIGHT. WHICH IS QUITE UNFORTUNATE, YET IT IS TO BE EXPECTED, AFTER ALL.
"The heck are you talking about?"
➤ .. YOU'RE IN MY GAME.. IN THE WORLD OF YANDERE SIMULATOR!
It took you a whole minute to process the words, laying there on your elbows. Until a high-pitched laughter spills out of your mouth, legs kicking in frantic motions as you try to push yourself up to stand.
Yandere Simulator? The game you were playing?
Bursting into another round of giggles, holding your stomach with your arms at this newfound joke. "M-me? In a game? More like in a dream!"
After what seem like a long laugh. You let out a huge exhale, now completely sure that this is a dream.
"Okay, wake up now," You slapped yourself on the cheek lightly a few times, clearing your throat as you shut your eyes tight. "You're too freaking obsessed with that game for god's sake. Wake up, wake up!"
A few beats of silence echoes.
You open your left eye, taking a peek. But to your disappointment, you're still in this weird dream.
➤ .. YOU'RE IN MY GAME. DON'T YOU GET IT?
You ignored it. Rushing back to the bed, tucking yourself in the blankets. Go back to sleep, idiot. You screamed in your head.
A robotic giggle suddenly hit your ears, forcing your eyes to open as goosebumps riled across your skin.
That thing is giggling for fuck's sake, you thought. It bounces as its pink color flickers on and off, syncing with its giggles.
➤ .. WELL, I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU TO FIND IT OUT YOURSELF THEN. IT'S A GAME AFTER ALL!
Your jaw dropped. It disappeared. More like vanishes into nothing like how it appeared out of blue. What? You weren't imagining things, do you? It w-was there, just now!
You immediately stood up, with your foot planted firmly on the floor, urgency and nervousness amplified with every second.
A game? How ridiculous.
This place that somehow resembles the game you've been playing for awhile now, it's complete nonsense. Your brain tries to search for an answer and your face beams up.
Or perhaps is it the end of the world? Have Earth been conquered at last?! Were all those news from thirteen years ago were real? Repulsed by the idea, you lose your tipping trying to make sense of this holographic square before you.
But wait, Earth is too dumb for aliens to even consider to conquer. Maybe you've had time traveled? Shit. Have you accidentally teleported into the future where cities had advanced in great lengths and technology? It could explain why that weird thing just now resembles those science-fiction stuffs.
"Am I.." You pointed towards yourself, voicing out a scary question. "In the future? Like 3000-ish or something?"
No? Thank god.
Wait, this could be lucid dreaming, though.
The fact that you're having a dream of the game, it must've been triggered by your outbursts of your failure last night. Such a vivid and immersive experience, there's no more fitting answer than that. Were you so damn obsessed with the entire game to lead you this point?
You scoffed in disbelief, placing your hands on your waist as you poked your cheek with your tongue. This is stupid.
If this is a lucid dream, then.. If you recall it correctly, to exit out of it—it requires you to say a script out loud, or perhaps do a particular action such as exiting a door or running across a hallway to mimic the speed of time, so as to accelerate your brain back to its conscious mode.
Appalled by the sequences of this strange dream, you made up your mind as your eyes darted over the door. Here you go! Pushing the door open with your might, you're greeted by a strange hall filled with rooms on your either side. This is strange, you thought. Without wasting any more time, you sprinted down the stairs where you can see a ray of light illuminating the bottom of the stairs.
Jumping off, you took a leap—landing on your feet with a thud.
"Dear, what's going on?"
You froze on the spot.
That voice. That face. It can't be..
W-what is t-this?
You haven't heard it for so long. How long had it been? You lose your footing on the stairs, covering your mouth as your hand trembles, mimicking the rampant movement of your pupils. This portrait before you, one that was long forgotten, one you've last seen so long ago.
"H-how?" You found yourself falling into your father's arms, feeling his warmth. The sensation of his freezing palms when you held it in the morgue crashes back to your head. Am I in heaven?
Were you actually dead?
"D-dad!" You wailed in his arms, gasping for air, you tried to wrap your head in this dilemma. "Y-you know that I m-miss you so much! Why did you left without saying anything?!"
No response.
Wiping off the tears off your eyes as you pulled away, trying to take one more look at your long dead father. He can't be here, you've seen it, with your own two eyes when he was buried sixty feet underground.
But this man right here, that face. You're not mistaken. From the head to toe, it was just like the day you've last seen him. "You- you aren't real, are you?"
"Honey, sweetie, breakfast is ready!"
The voice of your mother caught you off guard, eyes darting swiftly at the door across the room—caught off guard by the voice calling for you from the kitchen. Mom? Why is she— Beside her, your elder sister and younger brother are seated in the dining room, waving their palms at you,
"M-mom? Sis? What are you all doing here?"
With questions growing havoc inside you, the appearance of your mother preparing food in the kitchen puzzled you deeper. You look over at the dining room where your siblings are seated, indulging in their phones with your father now joining them in the middle—reading his newspaper for the day.
A scene all too familiar that it crawls all over your skin with rampant fear.
Home. It felt like home. But at the same time.. its not.
"Am I really dreaming?" You cupped your face, feeling the evident warmth of your blood rushing to your cheeks.
"What's wrong?"
Your soul shrinks at that voice. A gasp escapes your throat as thousand no's shrouded your head knowing all too well that this is purely impossible. Before you knew it, tears spill once more from your eyes as you turned your head towards that voice—however this one bears no longing, nor sorrow—it was resentment swirling with humiliation.
The visage that brought your whole world crumbling into pieces, flooding back a long forgotten winter that cripples away your will to wait for the next spring.
You feel yourself turning small, vulnerable—a thousand needles absorbing into your ribs. "What are you doing-" Whimpering, you casted nervous glances at everyone, "W-why is h-he here..?"
Taking a few step backwards, as you release a shaky breathe.
"W-who let him in?"
You frantically glance at your family, desperate for a response, an answer. Whereby the pitch of your voice growing louder with every second that passes as they only casted you a spine-chilling stare.
A long, empty one.
"Who let him in here?!" You repeated.
"Sister? What's wrong?" He tilted his head down, bearing an innocent expression.
"S-sister?" You emitted a scoff of disbelief, raising your arm to harshly point at him and then towards the door. "What sick game are you playing?! Get out! Get out!"
"Why are you saying that to your brother, honey?"
"Brother? M-mom— Are you being for real?!"
"Why, honey? He is your brother, you grew up together."
You were on the verge of cursing when suddenly your family—every single of them, suddenly stood in synchronization.
Alarmed by the downright frightening scene, your feet instinctively step backwards. "W-what's going on?"
If fear was something you'd never truly comprehend before, then this one tops it all.
"What's going on?" Each one of them repeated the same sentence, voices layered on top of another, resembling a cult ritual. "Darling. This is your reality." They all look back at you.
Your heart palpitate rapidly, every muscle in your body pulsated in sheer terror. Voice dripped in heavy desperation, only for it to come out louder than you expected it to. "What the fuck?!"
Suddenly, the familiar robotic giggle reaches your ears from behind.
➤ .. SO HOW'D YOU LIKE MY GIFT? ➤ .. I BROUGHT THEM HERE FOR YOU, ➤ .. SO YOU WON'T BE SO LONELY.
Your blood-shot eyes snapped to its direction, stumbling backwards on the stairs with terror engulfing your soul.
"W-who are you?" You yelled at the top of your lungs. "What are you?!"
That thing resembling a computer display carries such a heavy presence with it, you can feel it crawling in your soul—the display screen gnawing at your frame despite its lack of facial expression. Mimicking your movement and the text box flashing in timed intervals indicating its next reply didn't do nothing but give you a heavy uneasiness.
This unsettling energy it carries as it begins to type out a new sentence.
You are aching so bad to get away from this thing as far as you can.
➤ .. WHAT CAN I SAY, WHAT AM I? JUST A LITTLE POP-UP TO GUIDE YOU IN THIS WORLD.
Your frown deepens, "Guide m-me? What?"
➤ .. I TOLD YOU, DIDN'T I? YOU'RE IN A GAME.
"Stop that bullshit! Just what kind of nightmare is this?!" Smacking yourself in the cheeks once more, yet harder than you did the first time.
With trembling hands, you try to force yourself to wake up from this terrifying nightmare.
➤ .. "TAKE A LOOK AROUND FOR YOURSELF, THEN, AND SEE WHERE YOU ARE STANDING RIGHT NOW. ➤ .. DOESN'T IT LOOK FAMILIAR?"
Splayed fingers over your eyes, you observed the whole space.
These peculiar animated expressions despite the humane features, despite being the faces you've held love for—it's akin to machines having a prosthetic skin glued on it, mimicking the data installed in their drive.
But it can't be. It's just completely impossible for you even to wrap it around your head.
You, in a game?
Heart rampant. Clammy hands. Your feet frantically deciding which way to go. Before your eyes caught on to the sun rays peering behind the closed curtains, rushing towards it— swiftly pulling it open.
No. It can't be.
With disjointed thoughts, eyes darting around you. You searched for logical explanations yet with this pounding chest, trying to form a coherent sentence. Your mind says that it can't be possible, but your eyes are saying otherwise.
"T-there's no w-way."
Yet as you turned your head to every single thing in this house, your blood runs colder and colder. Every single furniture you've tapped on a screen are now before your eyes. The hours you spent on navigating around the living room, before going on with your missions and side tasks—it was now all here.
All before your eyes. Where your fingers could feel the physical edges and corners. Every single thing.
➤ .. "YES YOU ARE! AIN'T IT FUN? A WHOLE NEW IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE! ➤ .. YOU CAN NOW MEET JUNGWON, HIMSELF!"
No.
There's no way this was possible. You can't accept it. No. No. No.
"No, t-this is not it!" Stammering, you shook your head frantically. "T-this is n-not what I wanted!"
➤ .. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ➤ .. DON'T YOU DESIRE TO MEET YOUR FAVOURITE BOY WITH YOUR OWN EYES?"
In your head, it sinks in deeper and thoroughly.
"I don't- I don't care!" Panic emerges inside you. "Is there a way out? There must be, right?! I don't want to stay here!"
➤ .. "OF COURSE YOU DO! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU TRY TO PLAY TWICE?"
"This is not what I mean!"
It came out louder than you expected, laced with sheer desperation as it finally sank in.
The ground doesn't feel real. Even this feet of yours. Everything is so out of place. The pitch of your voice spills out longer, dramatic and exaggerated. Your breathing grew heavier yet short, as if it were being pressed down by sheer gravity.
You look down on your hands, inspecting the finger prints yet it took just that before you clawed down your head as you imagined yourself in this vast virtual world where no one is alive but you.
You wanted to go back.
➤ .. "YOU DO. IT IS WHAT YOU WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU'VE ACCEPTED MY INVITATION, REMEMBER? ➤ .. AND I DID NOTHING BUT GRANTED IT WITH PLIGHT."
You see nothing but red.
"Stop twisting my words." You spat out. "No! Bring me back! Th—this isn't what I wanted! You—whatever you are, please!"
"Just bring me back, to my home! I don't want to stay here!"
The pop-up remains silent, not typing out any response to your pleas.
The prospects of being trapped in here forever without any form of escape shrouded your thought with numerous case of scenarios of how lonely it would be, how scary it would be, rendering you to be totally emotional.
"How was I even able to get inside a game? That just isn't possible! Wake up, wake up!" You smacked yourself in the cheeks, pinching your arm only for you to let out a yelp.
It just floated, despite bearing no eyes. You felt like it was looking down on you with glee.
"Answer me! This was never stated anywhere in the game!"
Clutching on the table near you, struggling to keep yourself steady and composure.
You twisted your feet inwards, launching yourself to throw a punch at that thing, however it vanishes—causing you to fall on your hands. Hissing, It didn't deter you from trying once more, filling the space with your screams and profanities, however your humane limits is nothing in comparison with the swift and flawless dodges of the virtual pop-up.
You tried, over and over again.
Getting up countless of times, but not even a stroke of your finger could you land a hit on it.
➤ .. AN ADMIRABLE EFFORT, I MUST SAY. ➤ .. YET IT'S POINTLESS, MY DARLING.
Your feet paused on its tracks, exhausted beyond your limit. Fringe latching on your sweaty skin as you dropped on your knees in despair.
This... can't be your reality.
Clenching your fist tight, you pushed yourself up, racing towards the door, slamming it open only for you to squint your eyes at the blaring morning sunlight. Pushing you to look down to your bare feet planted against the asphalt, a strange feeling beneath your soles. It should've been ceramic..
Your body stiff as your eyes were presented with a sight you've never seen before.
Last night, you were inside your run-down apartment, three stories high where you could see the city tower beyond. Instead of the stairs greeting you in the morning when you opened your door, a gate stood across from you. High-rise buildings are nowhere to be seen, that should've been in high up there once you lifted your head up.
There was no way you could've been suddenly in a damn house. In a strange place. And in a town with its architecture's nothing close to where you came from.
Snapping your head to look behind you. Your stomach twisted and shattered in pits. It is that house.
➤ .. "ESCAPING IS FUTILE, MY DARLING. ➤ .. THIS WORLD IS ENDLESS, LIMITLESS. ➤ .. THERE'S NO POINT OF RETURN."
"Please, let me go!"
You can't be here. You still have work today. What if you lose your job? You have no knowledge of how time works here and there. Dropping on your knees, you crawled towards it—unsure of where to hold it, you clasped your hands together. "Please! I can't be here, I still have work! I still have to pay my bills! I— I haven't—"
➤ .. "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, DARLING? YOU AINT A FULL-FLEDGED ADULT YET. ➤ .. LOOK! YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!"
It turns around to gesture inside the house, towards the clock on the wall—pulling your tear-filled eyes over it which are currently hovering at 7 AM sharp.
➤ .. "IT'S TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL."
"Bitch!" You spat out, gritting your teeth. "I've graduated eleven years ago! I don't want to play your stupid game!"
Screaming at it at the top of your lungs, growing desperate as the truth begins to sink in every passing second. Propelling your body to react in ways. Crying you did, sinking your body down in unfathomable depth of helplessness.
➤ .. "OH, DON'T CRY, MY SWEET DARLING."
"Is there really no way. . Out?" You mumbled to yourself amidst all the sniffing and heavy gasps. Overwhelmed by the truth alone.
➤ ..YOU JUST HAVE TO PLAY, AND PERHAPS YOU MAY BE ABLE TO RETURN. ➤ .. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU HUMANS, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED A BIG HOUSE LIKE THIS ONE. ➤ .. WEREN'T YOU JUST WISHING TO LIVE IN A MORE COMFORTABLE SPACE?
That hits you. It struck the spot inside you where it was most vulnerable. How did it know? You were terrified to ask. Glaring at it with seething rage,
"Whoever you are, I refuse to play your sick game! Who knows what else you got under your sleeve!"
➤ .. AW, SO, YOU DO NOT DESIRE TO LIVE ANYMORE?
Tongue tied, of course you don't want to.
It's not like you were fed up with life to that point despite even after all those years. This wasn't part of the plan. Not in a game where you'll meet your worse death in dreams. This wasn't where you wish to move to, and you refuse to submit. You still wanted to marry. Find a good man and have your own little family—one that is filled with tiny giggles.
"No. You can't force me to play." Clenching your jaw, you spat at it with spite. "I don't care if you kill me. Fuck you and your game!"
Your shaky breath and the searing rays of the sun echoes and echoes, the only thing that was compensating for its lack of response. As it didn't type out any sentences, as if it was trying to comprehend your sentences into its mechanisms.
Until it did.
➤ .. THAT'S NEW, INTERESTING!
It beams up much to your bewilderment, looking almost too delighted? The colors on its display glowed a few shades brighter, compensating for its lack of facial expressions.
➤ .. IF PERHAPS YOU FRET THAT YOU'LL BE LONELY, THEN DON'T BE! YOU ARE NEVER TRULY ALONE IN THIS WORLD.
"They aren't real." You spat out.
➤ .. THEY ARE, BUT NOT FOR LONG
Your eyes widened. "What do you mean..?"
XO ! ii. NEVERLAND'S SONARE
Youthful.
You scanned your features in the mirror, fingertips grazing over the skin under your eyes—where heavy and dark eyebags use to persists, giving you a feeble appearance. Your employer often points it out with distasteful comments, expressing with disdain of how your haggard looks might deter potential clients away and bring discomfort to customers. Of how you ruin the atmosphere, his mood, specifically when you appeared. He often compares you with your fellow co-workers that seemed to look after their appearances with ease.
You complied, yet despite your best efforts in treating it, it just never seems to go away. But now, such a youthful look only to be laced with sullen eyes—not bearing even an ounce of energy.
Everyone wishes to be young once more. What is youth if not to run wild and free across whatever land you may imagine? Away from whatever life you wished to run from?
Not all people define youth the same way, though. To others, it may mean physical appearances. Downing a bunch of so-called youth pills, going through dozens of procedures, going under the knife, or the fantasy aspects of searching for the youth of fountain.
Some people, though—it meant going back to the way they was before a certain event had happened. The innocent little them that was filled with vigor and curiosity for life. Those vivid memories. These kind of people go through therapies, though.
Youth, youth.
What a funny word.
Yet it has such a deepened effect, a strong grasp on everyone's heads. But would ever they accept to be in a game just for that sake?
Another, yet different popup appears before you, displaying a few options.
▶ TELEPORT TO SCHOOL
▶ TELEPORT TO TOWN
▶ TELEPORT TO BASEMENT
What a sick joke.
"Honey? Shouldn't you sit down for breakfast?"
You halted in your steps, gripping your backpack's strap. Perturbed by the scene of your family with your ex-boyfriend by the dining table, this was peak nightmare.
Suppressing the need to scoff at the image of your 'mother', it will never sit right with you, to sit down on the same table with the characters replicated as your family. Even more so with the replica of your father. So fucking twisted.
Your arms ache to embrace him but this is not your father. A home is supposed to be your bed of comfort, a shelter for protection yet this gives you an overwhelming feeling of strangers clumped up in one space. And him. You couldn't comprehend a single thing. Fitting so tightly, but never seems to belong together.
"I'm.." You gulped down, "Not hungry." You said, a little low for them to hear. But does that even matter? When they will eventually forget it, and return to their soulless routine.
You stepped out of the house for the second time, turning even more helpless and small by the sheer size of this map. This city. The street. The open shops. The pedestrian street. Its people. Children crossing the street with glee and joy.
Their innocent laughter sickens you, twisting the pit of your stomach.
The chill spring breeze blows a mouthful of cherry petals across the path ahead of you, dripping with the warm rays of the morning sun, accompanied by the chirping birds above the trees.
It almost looks too real. Just like all these younglings clad in their brightest uniforms mingling and walking alongside you, behind you, and in front of you—shrouding your line of vision, filling the air with their chatters and laughter.
The entrance to the academy greets your eyes with its opulent golden gate, the same scene that you often see whenever you started the game in your phone.
To stand in front of it was beyond your wildest dreams. A sense of dread envelops your body as you begin to step in, seeing the NPCs functioning according their monotonous coding; the teachers conversing with each other, and the students taking of their shoes and replacing it with the school's ones, heading to their respective classrooms or whatever their routine was for the day.
You gulped down, doing the same thing.
Sandwiched in-between them qualms your entire being, turning your legs into noodles. You almost losing your footing when you accidentally bumped against one of the NPCs, apologizing profusely which they in turn gave you subtle weirded out reaction before going off.
Your peripheral view caught the sight of the rooms; faculty, sewing, and so on. As you stood there, observing and observing; your eyes fell on a student with a camera on their hand, being wary of everyone else. Across the hall, you found the familiar scene of the martial arts club's members walking in a straight line. The occult club's leader strolling on his own as usual. The luscious partly dyed hair fading across the stairs, with their sweater knotted around their torso.
You still find it hard to believe, lost in your shrouded thoughts.
"Ugh!" You stumbled, almost falling on the floor if not for your quick reflex of gripping the nearest table. Turning your head to the brief apology behind you, you held the need to scoff. Of course, what is there to be surprised of?
"Oh! Sorry, didn't know you were here. You got too close, after all."
Neatly combed ginger hair, with eyes turning into crescents paired with a sweet smile. A sickening one, truth to be told. The all too familiar armband wrapped around their left arm and that pristine white uniform; the student council.
Your greatest enemy in this virtual world.
Equipped with spectacular wits, eagled eyes waiting for you to make one single mistake, hands itching to throw you into the faculty room once you do so. These students, five of them, in fact—don't trust you a single bit. You recalled the days of how pissed you were whenever they're suddenly appeared, ruining your mission, forcing you to restart all over again.
You mumbled a small it's okay, and she nodded in response, heading off to the opposite direction but not before taking a small peek at you. A gesture that is greatly embedded in their code. If anything, apart from the teachers and cops, the council is something you really have to watch out for.
Dealing with them isn't an easy feat, even trying to kill them is nearly impossible if you don't join the martial arts club first. All that club practices, and skills you have to increase. It was already difficult enough before, and now that you had to do it with your own hands. Things won't get easier from now on.
You'd have to memorize their routine in your mind to properly avoid them.
On the east side of the academy, you head to the second floor where across the hall—classroom 2-1 greets your line of vision. Your feet halted as your ears caught on the conversations of the students chattering about and on, some other students arriving at the spot.
Gripping tightly at the straps of your backpack as your eyes met the cold floor, blotted with differing size of shoes. You muster the strength to lift your head, where beyond you witness—the hymns of the cherry blossom in the courtyard reaches the space, serving as a visual instrumentation to this pretend play; set of movements controlled and navigated by the game's mechanisms.
And there he was as expected.
Across the classroom, beside the window—you could see Nishimura Ri-ki gazing out the vast field with pure concentration.
You made your way to your seat where it is highlighted by pink flurry lights.
Pulling the chair back, you seated yourself down. A wave of uncertainty washes over your soul now that you had the complete view of this classroom. You look beside you when you felt eyes drilling a hole on your head, only to see the boy staring at you down with an uninterested look, or rather an expression you were unable to read. Not caring any less by the obvious fact that he was caught.
"What are you looking at?" You asked, puzzled by the boy's deepened stare, striking a chord in your soul.
"As if I'm looking at you." Ri-ki mumbles, chin buried on his palms.
Taken aback by his lack of manners, you scoffed in disbelief. "E-excuse me?"
He rips his gaze on your frame, yawning as he stretches—deeply confusing you of this new set of movements and dialogues. It appalled you further when he just stood up, leaving as if nothing happened at all.
"Hey!" You called out, but he went on simply ignoring you.
You frowned at his lack of manners, but well it is to be expected as he is the youngest among the yanderes, he'd been in the same class as you since you started the game. Yet you've never got the chance to approach him as there were no dialogues option. He was a close off, deep in his world type of teenager. You could only see him around his members, and mostly Jake.
That's why it surprises you that he talks for the first time.
Or rather that he was surprisingly rude.
You'd forgotten a huge portion of information related to him due to his profile being situated in the very bottom, but he's supposedly attending the Drama Club but dropped out of it after skipping the club activities for nearly two weeks.
So.. everything functions like how it would in the real world, except for their repeated codes and routines. You'd thought that they would act like NPCs in the first place like the ones back in your home but you were proven otherwise, because they were not here yet.
The students in this classroom are.
You no longer have to press buttons, and all those generic options to gain social and reputation points. You would no longer need to approach them first to talk with the.
But for some reason, that words that didn't even amount to a proper conversation stirs something in you. It affected you. Because it felt too real. Almost like you were back in the real world seconds ago. But how is that even possible when you already knew why this virtual world ceases to exist.
Why it existed in the first place.
You held your composure as you seated yourself in the back of this classroom, with everything to bathe in your line of vision. A perfect audience seat to witness this orchestration of parody, of theatre, of life—surrounded with noises, yet it's so hollow.
The word "weird" is not the right word to describe your feeling right now. It was as if you were existing in-between space and time. A world that is in-between.
You don't belong here, yet at the same time, you do. You are alone, but you are not exactly alone.
Biting your lip, you clenched a fistful of your skirt as you lowered your head down, shutting your eyes tight.
➤ .. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS GAME?
Appalled by its question, you remained silent---in which it lets out a robotic giggle paired with what you assumed to be a kaomoji.
➤ .. DON'T BE SHY! THERE'S NO SHAME IN DESIRING TO BE LOVED. TO BE THIRSTED FOR, AND TO BE CARED FOR, DON'T ALL WE? ➤ .. YOU PLAYED THIS GAME KNOWING WHAT ITS BASED ON, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS GAME WORKS?
"Quit messing with me." You spat out.
➤ .. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. YOU GUESS IT! WHAT MAKES A HUMAN, A HUMAN. WHAT MAKES THEM ALIVE. WHAT MAKES THEM, THEM; THEIR PSYCHE. ➤ .. SHALL A PLAYER LOSE; A FRAGMENT OF THEIR PSYCHE IS APPLIED IN THE GAME WHICH IN TURN MORPHS INTO A NEW FEATURE IN THE GAME. ➤ .. THE SHELL, WHICH IS THEIR BODY---IS UP TO ME TO DECIDE WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO WITH IT. ➤ .. ABSORPTION AS I CALL IT, YOU HUMANS CALLS IT 'UPDATE'!
"Ab-absorption?" As you read along the lines, something leaks out from behind your ribs. "Are you saying that there were.. p-people before me?"
➤ .. VERY SMART, MY DARLING. YES, EVERY SOUL IS SPECIAL AND UNIQUE, ➤ .. THEY BRING A WHOLE NEW FLAVOR TO THE GAME. WHAT THE GAME MAY TAKE, IT WILL DO SO ACCORDINGLY WITH THE HEART OF THE HOST. THE HEART DECIDES. ➤ .. ANY PSYCHE; LIGHT OR DARK; WHATEVER HAS THE MOST IMPACT IN THEIR SOUL ARE PULLED INTO THIS GAME. THEREFORE YOU CAN SAY, EACH PLAYER INFLUENCES THE GAME. ➤ .. YOU CAN CALL IT, THE PROOF OF THEIR LIFE. EMOTIONS, THEY'RE THE ONLY THING THAT IS ETERNAL AND IMMORTAL.
"Shoot!"
Students bursts into a fit of laughter, playing a silly game before class.
A groan surfaces.
"Guys, stop being so noisy. I'm trying to concentrate here!"
"Concentrate, on what? Exams?"
A round of giggles followed after.
Clawing your fingers over your head as you try to push off all these sounds, all these meaningless conversations. You knew this set of dialogues will be repeated again, again and again. Noises that don't held any thing in them.
A subtle knock echoed amidst the petty ordeals, capturing the classroom's concentration out of whatever they were currently at.
Numerous sets of eyes fell on the fragile and tiny frame of a girl with a bandana wrapped around her head, as she carries a tray full of baked muffins; a familiar image of a member of the cooking club.
"Hey, anyone wanna taste some muffins I made?"
A round of cheers and bouts of exclaimed hungers send shivers down your spine. You watched as each of them took their turns, taking the muffin from the tray.
"Hey,"
With heavy eyes, you met hers that was wholly empty, like looking into a deepest depths of a well, wondering if you'll ever capture something in motion, only to be greeted with somber reality that there was not.
"Want one?" Hair dripping in jet black, tied up in a half updo bun. Those words floated out of her faint pink lips that had subtle bite marks on them, it seems old and scarred. A gentle voice that complements her soft features. "Been trying to perfect this recipe, can you give me your feedback after you tasted it?"
Perfect.. perfect what?
You suppressed the need to scoff, instead forcing a painful smile as you took the muffin from the tray. "Thanks."
"Hanni! It tastes so good!"
"Oh my god, really? I'm so glad!"
All these faces.. This sheer size of the game, the fact that they were all here, meant that no one has ever truly won this game.
➤ .. THAT ..WILL BE YOUR ENDING IF YOU LOSE, WHEN YOU FAIL—THEY WILL, TOO END UP HERE WITH YOU. ➤ .. ISN'T IT LOVELY? ➤ .. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER THEY SAY, YET THIS EMOTION CALLED 'AFFECTION' IS A LOT MORE STRONGER. YOUR AFFECTION FOR THEM IS THE REASON THEY'RE ABLE TO BE REPLICATED IN THE FIRST PLACE. I DON'T SEE WHAT'S THE PROBLEM THOUGH, ATLEAST YOU'LL BE WITH YOUR FAMILY! ➤ .. WON'T THAT STILL BE A HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU?
How is that a happy ending? You couldn't utter that one question. How is any of these a happy ending?
You laughed. A short yet broken one, with your eyes getting blotted with swirls. Sucking your lips in as you tried to understand it, yet your eyes mirrors your thoughts; pacing round and round. You don't even know where to begin. What even is this madness? It's insane. Terribly insane.
So, all this time.. You were playing a game made out of real people? Real people who used to live?
A stupid, stupid game you once found imminent solace in, are nothing but a mass graveyard. You could at least stand it a bit more if you weren't walking alongside with people that used to live. But no.
No wonder why this world is so vast.
Even that word is an understatement. A virtual world you could spend all your day in it. No. It's a stage, a dollhouse where the audience is also its mastermind, with strings attached on the puppets—ripping, tweaking, weaving, piecing together into an amalgamation of their desired character.
Those missing people plastered on posters all round the alleyways and all else, with a trace nowhere to be seen, as if they never existed in the first place. You've wondered if perhaps this is where they've fallen into. Some of them.
You wonder how each of them met their end? All of them must have failed in numerous ways, but one thing is clear; they lose and that's what leads them to their current state—once a fallen player, their existence will be wiped out..
From everything they've ever been, subjected to a monstrous aftermath.
A monster that preys and feeds on people's desires. A monster that rewrites new scenarios, events, and all sorts accordingly every time someone falls in and loses—then it makes perfectly sense, absorbing the players in it keeps the game alive.
How cruel.
You shook your head, breaking your brain in half trying to search for a way. "I'll play! Just please, don't put my family into this!"
➤ .. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS, MY DARLING. THE ONLY WAY FOR THEM TO AVOID GETTING SUCK IN HERE WITH YOU IS FOR YOU TO 'UNLOVE' THEM. ➤ .. WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO DO THAT?
Your head fell down in agony. There's no way you could do that. That is beyond reality. You don't fell out love with someone in just a day, do you?
➤ .. NO RIGHT? ➤ .. WHY'D YOU THINK YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND WAS ABLE TO BE REPLICATED IN THE FIRST PLACE?
➤ .. THAT'S VERY WELL THE REASON WHY THIS GAME WILL REMAIN IMMORTAL WITH ITS HOSTS' ETERNAL SOULS. ➤ .. NOTHING IS ETERNAL BUT A HUMAN'S SOUL. WHY'D YOU THINK A MERE OBJECT COULD HOLD CURSES AND PROMISES? FEELINGS IMMORTALIZED EVERYTHING. ➤ .. HUMAN NATURE IS SO COMPLEX AND STRONG, YET SO FRAGILE. IT LEAKS OUT WHEN ITS BROKEN. SO LONG AS HUMANS BEAR THESE FORCES, NOTHING WILL EVER FLOATS AWAY. ISN'T THAT FASCINATING?
"Wait," You lifted your eyes from the floor, gulping down. "How about the yanderes themselves? W-were they once real people too?"
Its pink shade glowed and dimmed down.
➤ .. WHO KNOWS? ➤ .. WHAT DO YOU THINK? ➤ .. THAT IS FOR YOU TO KNOW WHEN YOU SUCCEEDED.
There it goes again. Playing with you.
"Then how do I win?" The question came out dry, filled with nothing but helplessness.
➤ .. YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE ANSWER YOURSELF, DARLING. IT'S SIMPLE. ➤ .. JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET TO BE THE ONE TO TIGHTEN HIS HEART STRINGS, AND NO ONE ELSE. ➤ .. AND THAT IS TO ELIMINATE ALL THOSE OBSTACLES THAT STRIVES TO BE THE APPLE OF HIS EYES. ➤ .. YOU MUST BE IT INSTEAD. ➤ .. AND YOU DO KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO ACHIEVE THAT, RIGHT?
Right, it's very simple it's almost hilarious. You'll end up just like any side character if you fail to become the yandere's darling.
The law of attraction. You attract what you desire. Yet often times, you received it in the most twisted forms presented by life.
If you want to live, you have to make sure he falls for you and no one else.
These yanderes are unable to discern between genders. Male or female, any breathing living being is a threat in their love-sick perspective. The mere, mere you are perceived in this light where just being close with their darling regardless of proximity and labels—is as easy as labelling you a sore thumb or better yet a pest that latches to what they deemed as theirs.
Because to them, who the fuck do you think you are? You don't even deserve to breath the same air or step in the same ground as their darling. Absurd. But to them, their darling is the source of their oxygen. Taking away what gets them going is the same as murdering them. That's basically refusing them their human rights, you know?
So if you don't get that—then in their eyes, you're better off dead because you don't deserve it either.
They adorned this bright smile around everyone, being friendly and welcoming but beneath that facade was a seething intricate web of lies and manipulation, waiting to strike. If you were too dumb to notice or deduce all the signs, then it will only be by the end of the day, when the sun has set, when it's the moonlight's turn to conquer—will you only then know, that you've dug the path to your grave.
A creature governed by heart, molded by its whims and beats. Turning into a recipe for disaster.
Exhilarating, you're drawn to this very concept ever since. However, even when you've wish for this beings to exist, prayed for them even. It was never in your wildest dreams that you'd be stuck in a game with one.
➤ .. ANY INQUIRIES, YOU MAY CHECK YOUR FLIP PHONE. IT CONTAINS EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW LIKE A HANDBOOK."
You fished out the object in question from your pockets, the flip phone back in the morning—it remains heavy on your palms despite its lightweight material, as it bears your life—containing everything.
Inside this, you are able to check everything that is necessary for you to know; tasks, favors, schedule, inventory, etc. The date is set in the year 2026, yet the phones they used were from twenty years ago—a world where social media hasn't reached its peak yet.
It's a world that stood in the midst of everything.
➤ .. FLIP PHONES WAS NOT A MAJOR FEATURE UNTIL ONE PLAYER WHO HAD AN OBSESSION WITH IT, FAIL. FASCINATING, ISN'T?
A world that is centered around its players' psyche. Then what will your existence bring into this game?
Only time could tell.
➤ .. GOOD LUCK!
Survive.
Yes. That's all I have to do.
The moment you lose everything that is you, you will be nothing but a part of the long lost souls in this deserted land of twisted roleplay game.
You just have to get through it. Make sure not to fail this time. Make him fall for you and not anyone else.
And him. Jungwon. You have to meet him soon. However you can't rush, one wrong move like you did will cost everything
There's one thing you have to consider though—your reputation; forget about getting close to Jungwon, your reputation meter itself is the second most important to your existence here as without it, you're but a burden to the society. The black sheep. You're basically nonexistent here.
All because of that choices and dialogues you've chosen so far in the game, you've set yourself up for failure. The pointer at your meter bar are hovering over the black section. You are left exactly of where you last played last night. The stakes are exceedingly high, dimming down every chance of light to come down your way.
You were already lucky enough to not have your progress reset, however that meant nothing but being perceived as one of Jungwon's rejected love confessions. A girl that has lose his favor. You'd have to find a way somehow to regain your reputation back and most importantly, his heart.
Pretend play, just like playhouse.
Your eyes lingered beyond the window, observing how the petals floated down. But how and where do you even begin? If you recalled it correctly; apart from attending classes, Jungwon's routine consists of hanging around with his friends, spend his alone time in the courtyard, attend his club practices, and then catch up with his friends outside the school's entrance after school. It won't be long till a girl comes around and sandwich herself into his life.
You cannot waste anymore time.
He must be roaming around the academy as of now, most certainly hanging around with his friends. The first period would be done about an hour from now, and he'd be occupied with his routine as well too.
But how the heck do you even approach him again? It would be so awkward and weird in his perspective when a girl he rejected, acts all lovey-dovey, and shameless at that. You might be even labelled as a weirdo, not knowing her boundaries despite being rejected.
Somehow, someway.. You would eventually have to resort to such methods. As much as you loathe the very word, they can either be your obstacles or you an turn them into your weapon. But can you even find the heart to do so? No, that's not the right question, are you even capable of doing that?
Your thoughts were interrupted by footsteps approaching from the distance, revealing a girl with shock illustrated all over her visage.
"Oh my god, guys! This is insane! You have to see this! There's a love confession happening in the courtyard and it's no one other than Yang Jungwon!"
She almost lose her footing as she relayed the message with downright glee, only for a multitude of questions and profanities to rose up in response.
"What?! Who is it?"
"Eh, who?"
"Wait, what?" It came out as a soft whisper, yet a stark contrast of your terror-filled eyes widening, an ear-wrenching creak from your chair emitted because of how you stood up so quickly, following after them.
What do you mean, a love confession?! I haven't even started yet!
The halls quake immensely like soldiers in their training, seas of shoes slammed against the floor all while multitude of questions arose in your head, where the words spilling out of the students' lips running alongside you only amplified your perennial dread.
Please, please, do not accept it! Please-
You let out harsh yelp when you suddenly collided against someone in full-force, forcing you to fall on your back. Your face scrunched at the throbbing pain in your muscles, clutching your back with greeted teeth. A series of grunts and hisses are layered on top of yours—cussing about how you should watch your steps. Your eyes shoot open, turning your head beside you—only to be met with another member of the Yanderes.
Park Sunghoon. The side of his face planted on the floor, whilst his books and assignment papers scattered about in a mess.
Horror engulfed your features, immediately pushing yourself up. Apologizing profusely as you collected the books and the papers, gathering them in your arms, rearranging them back neatly.
The boy slowly sat up with disheveled hair, lifting his head up with grim expression and narrowed eyes behind those glasses—specifically directed at you. Getting up on his knees, he dusted his pants with a hiss all while fixing his vest back.
"I see that you have eyes just like everyone else," Sunghoon leans forward, an intimidating aura emitting from him causing you to step backwards. "Atleast watch where you're going?"
His lips twisted in a sneer as he spoke, clearly showing you that he is not at all impressed by your clumsy mistake.
"I-I'm sorry—" You stammered, your eyes trembles as it met his brown ones, despite being obscured by the faint lens, it was immensely vivid; swirling in the sands of the sizzling dessert, fiery and intense—you could feel it scorching in your skin, a stark contrast from his icy skin.
So close, you could examine his features decorated with moles, and down at his faint red lips. He did not say anything, yet those blazing pupils examined your features as if it was searching for something.
This is not good. A potential yandere. You don't know why, but you had this inkling creeping inside you that you shouldn't associate yourself with other yanderes except for Jungwon.
"Kid," Leaning away, he let outs a 'tsk' with a frown, perching up the rims of his glasses neatly on the bridge of his nose before snatching his stuffs from your arms, using his other hand to gesture towards his eyes. "Next time, use your eyes more."
Finishing it up by shooting you a glare, and then heading off. You stood there in bewilderment as his silhouette faded in the distance, wondering what had just happened.
Yet you let out a relief exhale.
Park Sunghoon. What was it about him again? The generic description of him being an icy prince bounces back in your head, turning on a beaming lightbulb. Despite being labelled as that, he attends the Cooking Club much to everyone's surprise, together with his fellow member Jay.
The two of them often spent the afterhours experimenting with recipes, forcing their fellow members to taste the dishes they made. It was returned with a slight acknowledgement from Heeseung, commenting that it's not bad, followed by a couple of nods from rest. However you recalled how your stomach aches during a bout of laughter when Jungwon almost choked after—
Wait! You snapped your head behind you, the love confession!
Sprinting to the location where many other students gathered in front of the window shoulder-to-shoulder.
The glass panes of the academy were filled up to the brim, spilling with faces illustrated with variety of expressions; intrigue, interest, disbelief, and envy—all pushing their heads out to get a much better view of the courtyard. The entire commotion echoing the morbid chaos of Baroque paintings.
Yours was illustrated with an invisible weight of a noose looped around your neck. An invisible weight of stones slamming against your face as you halted your steps, nearing the edge of the window.
Like an auditorium with their utmost concentration glued on the stage; a theatre play of a romantic tale, an union of two hearts yet its nothing but a masquerade of your eventual execution.
As beyond that window, a girl you've never seen stood before him. Propelling your eyes to rattle in immense storm, your heart sailing in amidst the raging crimson ocean.
W-where the fuck did she even came from?
It should've been you.
It should've been you beside him—
Your face stiffened, a gasp caught in the back of your throat as your lips fell apart in inches. Everything slowed down except him; everyone, that girl, and you.
This heart behind your ribcage palpitates in a different motion; striking a chord that pounded your veins, till it submerged your eardrums in its frenzied rush. The desire to let yourself fall in his arms grew immense.
Your pupils snapping and panning closer akin to a camera lens, searching deeper for the features that spells your purpose for life. Closer. You couldn't make out the outline of his face. Trying one more time, blinking frantically as the rims of your eyes tears up.
There he was, standing in the courtyard—Yang Jungwon under the the cherry blossom tree, where the dropping petals adorned his visage, bringing in the saccharine touch of life. Exuding sheer perfection, captivating the audience's heart.
This charming aura he carries, laid-back demeanor, the way his fringe sways alike silk with the hush of the spring breeze. It's all too exhilarating. Heartstrings looped around your poor heart. Moonstruck. It propels your eyes to shy away like the moon does.
Chaos.
You wince at the sudden increase of volume reaching your ears, clutching your ears as you yelp with your eyes shut tight.
This trance-like spell, you snapped out of it with terror. Noticing the rosy tint that engulfs your vision whenever it fell on him. This entire landscape bathing in saccharine pink. The rhythm of your heart mimicking his breathing patterns, it aches. How your eyes swell into love-sick hearts against the window's reflection. It perturbed your soul.
What the fuck. This isn't you.
A fatal trouble, you're truly deep into it.
It felt like your face were being pushed into a well against your will.
It must be the game mechanism turning you this way—to be thrown into the same state as the game character you were playing, it sends chills down your spine. You slapped yourself to reality. He isn't real.
"What is she doing?"
"Is that Minji?"
Your ears caught on to the name spilling out of numerous arrays of lips.
That girl, Kim Minji. Enunciating the name on the tip of your tongue, it prompted your head to tilt sideways in confusion. You've never heard or encounter this character in the game before, or perhaps you've miss her existence by not bothering to check the entire NPCs' list.
But..
You were given a second chance to play one more time, so why is there another girl here..? This game functions on love confession, and who ever the girl is—if its accepted by your chosen yandere—then she won.
It will be game over.
However you were dead sure, today wasn't Friday yet. Fishing out your flip phone from your pockets, you flicked it open—eyes widening in fear as the date displays the third day of the week, Wednesday. Two days before the supposed deadline.
"Jungwon, I like you!"
The three words you've been dreading she had uttered.
She immediately shut her eyes tight with her cheeks illustrated with the deep hues of a blossoming rose, eyebrows knitted together, gripping her skirt into shambles within her digits.
Your knuckles involuntarily clenched on the edge of the window.
A series of gasps and murmurs emitted in unison, forming a rather comical orchestration. Some finds it utterly hilarious, leaning into their friend's ears—uttering about how Jungwon would never find her interesting and that her confession was all too vain. There are plenty of interesting faces dripped in the finest wines in the seas of cherry blossoms, far more suitable and deserving of his love, so how could she—a mere girl—are able to catch his interest?
Your lips fell slightly apart, not being able to process the words you're hearing right now as that girl is what you definitely would not call 'mere'. Hush whispers and gossips followed through, one after another, refusing to fleet into nothingness—as it was stuck in the heavy pungent jealousy, tied even tighter with woven prayers for Jungwon to reject her.
They kept chanting; a fool. She's a fool. A fool is all she is. A love confession in the courtyard, for everyone to see. She's setting herself up as the object of amusement, a clown of the year.
This game is truly twisted.
Silence eventually befalls as everyone waited in patience, ribs swelling down with the amount of breathe they took in their lungs, anticipating for Jungwon's answer.
The boy opens his mouth, his expressions unreadable. The tension heavy in weight, with everyone paralyzed and stuck between the two answers. Lips are sewn tight. Wishes differ. Yet those four words bears the flame to your torch of life.
If he.. if Yang Jungwon says yes to this love confession, you're gone for good. Vapored away. Spelling the end of your existence.
Please. Prayers shrouded your mind.
Please don't accept it.
I haven't even started yet!
His outstretched palms reached for the girl's, "I like you too, Minji." Jungwon pulls a shy smile, an affectionate gaze swirling in his eyes.
The girl in question, were filled with aghast, her eyes swimming in bliss as she covered her mouth with her hands.
It was as if time had stopped.
His response elicited a spur of tumultuous reactions from every single student present in the academy; one helping out their passed out friend, with one choking on their sandwich, and the other with their jaw dropped on the ground—while you, are having flashes of your death and your family's tragic end; the scene of you lying down in a pool of blood, while the members of your family falling down into the game—where all of you will eventually lose your consciousness—memories and identities vanishing from the world as if you didn't exist at all.
T-this can't be happening. You shook your head in denial.
Your line of vision drowning into the distant sea, morphing into a crashing storm. Swallowing a sore lump down your throat, you gripped the window's edge, fingers rattling as you watched the entire ordeal playing out.
A portrayal of parody.
It's hopeless. You are going to die.
These rampant thoughts piled up one after another in your head, clouding you with sporadic paranoia as your feet turned outwards, walking away, slowly accelerating in speed—hugging yourself as you choke up on your tears.
XO ! iii. PERSONA
You're done for.
Hiding in the storage room, curling yourself down as you covered your head with your hands. With a thousand apologies to your family all while waiting for death to come and get you. You lamented the day you ever came to found this game.
A pink glow of light illuminated the soles of your feet, turning the space into a well-lit theatre—with you as the main spotlight.
➤ .. WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT FACE?
"I lose." With a hoarse voice and tears dried, you look down your palms---observing its deepened etches. "It's game over."
➤ ..GAME OVER? WHO SAYS? ➤ .. YOU KNOW YOU STILL CAN GET HIM.
"What do you mean I can? He already accepted it! Wasn't that the point?"
➤ .. ACCEPTED WHAT? THE LOVE CONFESSION? THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, A GIRLFRIEND IS ALL SHE IS ➤ .. NOT HIS DARLING.
"H-huh?"
➤ .. HIS EYES.. A LOOK OF FONDNESS IS ALL HE HAD FOR THAT GIRL, NOT THE LOOK OF OBSESSION. HIS LOVE METER HAVEN'T EVOLVED INTO WHAT WE CALL A YANDERE METER. THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAD JUST STARTED IN LESS THAN 40 MINUTES. ➤ .. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO GET HIM BACK, AS QUICK AS YOU CAN, BEFORE HE FALL DEEPER. BECAUSE IF HE DOES, DEPENDING ON THE ROUTES YOU TAKE, YOU MIGHT BE UNFORTUNATE TO UNLOCK THE ENDING WHERE YOU ARE MURDERED BY THE YANDERE HIMSELF.
"Get him back? How am I supposed to do that?" How is he supposed to look at you now that he already had a lover, whom he'd rather spend time with? Even if he hasn't turn into a yandere yet, that doesn't make anything easier.
Both paths remains bleak, filled with razor-sharp spikes protruded ahead.
➤ .. WHATEVER YOU MAY CHOOSE TO GO WITH; RUIN HER REPUTATION BY SPREADING RUMOURS, THAT WOULD DO THE TRICK BY GETTING JUNGWON WARY OF HER. BUT ITS QUITE A HASSLE, AND DOESN'T DO YOU AY GOOD AS YOUR REPUTATION IS NOT THE VERY LEAST INTERESTING TO LOOK AT.
You obviously can't.
Gossiping is a deal-breaker. You might've accomplished your goal by tainting her reputation but the price in return accost you in the end. It doesn't benefit you at all as you will be labelled as the 'gossiper'.
➤ .. MAYBE YOU COULD GET HER EXPELLED, BY PUTTING FORBIDDEN STUFFS IN HER BOOKBAG. BUT THAT'S RATHER RISKY? THERE ARE COUNTLESS OF METHODS, YOU CHOOSE.
You remain silent, shaky pupils boring a hole on your hands as you weighed the risks. The receiver of the greater risk is always you. A single mistake costs everything.
➤ .. THEN YOU CAN KILL HER.
Your eyes widened. "No.." Your head shook on its own. "I c-can't do that."
➤ .. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH IT? ➤ ..IF YOU WANT TO PLAY IT SAFE, PERHAPS GET SOME RAT POISON FROM THE MARKET. SHE WILL BE GONE BEFORE YOU KNEW IT. IT WOULD BE A SPECTACLE, A SIGHT, EVEN!
"I. Will. Not. Kill. Her."
You emphasized, stressing each single word, showing your resolute determination.
There's no way you'd stoop down that low.
Its suggestion was beyond your capability of understanding, nor was it an acceptable one in the first place. You've failed to comprehend how it can utter such chilling topic in such a leisure manner.
And there was no way you could ever bring yourself to witness them relive death for the second time.
➤ .. HUH? WHO CARES? THEY'RE ALREADY GONE, WHAT'S ALL THAT REMORSEFUL LOOK FOR?
It just doesn't feel right. It doesn't sit well with you.
Who were they before they fell into this game?
What did they do?
What did they love to do?
What were their last words before they were gone?
It imbued your insides with a heavy weight, driven with guilt to think of these people with lives they used to hold that was now nothing but an empty hollow shell. Their flesh and skin used as a mere toy.
They aren't just people to you. People aren't static objects. They're beings.
Everywhere you look; all you could see was people that once a life worth of memories before, now sucked up and absorbed as nothing but a code of repetition, and the proof of them living now but a feature that glares against your face.
They're now a burning memory.
➤ .. THIS IS WHAT THE GAME IS FOR, YOU'D THINK YOU STILL HAD YOUR MORALITY INTACT? YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE MUCH FOR THEM WHEN YOU GO ON A KILL STREAK THAT DAY?
"That doesn't count!" You exclaimed, gritting your teeth. "I never knew they were real people—like who would have think so?"
➤ .. BUT YOU ENJOYED IT. ➤ .. I'VE NOT YET FORGOTTEN HOW YOUR EYES LOOKS LIKE THAT DAY.
Hissing with desperation, you looked down on your splayed hands.
"No.. It was never supposed to be like this." You shook your head, "The game doesn't even work this way, I was suppose to get him before the love confession, two days before Friday! What did you change?!"
➤ .. DON'T YOU GET IT? ➤ .. YOU'VE FAILED ONCE. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS BEING RESET, DARLING. THIS WAS AFTER YOUR 'GAME OVER'. ➤ .. IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR SOUL, YOU ARE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF BEHIND THE SCENES. ➤ .. WITH HIGHER STAKES, OF COURSE.
Tears begin to spill from your eyes, "No. . I can't win this way."
Lips trembling as you say so, memories from the past rushing back and flooding your insides with a heavy weight.
Higher stakes? For what? All you wanted was to play. To get into your little fantasy world, devoid of stress. The world was already too far from perfect. With this fucked up corporate life, filled with capitalism, never-ending bills---at this point, you're only surviving through all of it, not living.
But have you been really living all this time?
Everything else in the world has far more worst things that happened to them than you do. But with this small void in your heart, it shouldn't be wrong to be embrace by a little warmth, someone to cup your cheeks in their hands as they press a tender kiss on your forehead, right?
It shouldn't be wrong to indulge yourself in your little silly fantasies. So why?
➤ .. SPARE YOURSELF FROM THE ILLUSION OF GAIN WITHOUT SACRIFICE, MY DARLING.
Nothing is truly free.
This world has always given you an illusion of choice but the thing is, nothing is really free. You may have given something in an exchange for nothing, but life will soon claim it in numerous ways and various forms you could never imagine.
➤ .. OH COME ON NOW! ➤ .. AIN'T THIS A ONE LIFETIME CHANCE FOR YOU? ➤ .. YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH MURDER UNLIKE IN THE REAL WORLD!
"That isn't right." Your head drops down in downright despair. "J-just.. just kill me, I can't do this. Your fucking twisted game.."
➤ .. OH DARLING.. WHY BOTHER ABOUT SOME PETTY LIVES BUT YOUR LOVED ONES? ➤ .. WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE, A STRANGER WHOSE LIFE NO LONGER EXISTS OR YOUR FAMILY WHO STILL HAVE THEIR WHOLE LIVES BEFORE THEM?
You stiffened. How? How did you actually forgot, how can you forget? Your family.. All these emotional outbursts has rendered you totally hopeless to the point you forgot for a split second that you're not the only one at the stake.
"I will not kill her! I'll find a way.." You clasped your head, desperately trying to think of a better option. "There's got to be some way... Right! The match-making method!"
➤ .. HOW FASCINATING.. ➤ .. YOUR MORALS ARE STILL QUITE INTACT DESPITE HAVING YOUR MENTAL PSYCHE SLOWLY REGRESSING.
What? You lifted your head back up, sniffing and gasping. "What are you saying? R-regressed.. w-what?"
➤ .. WELL, I'M CERTAIN THAT YOU'VE NOTICE SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH YOU?
You remained silent. Yet as your eyes fell on each word it typed out next, it widens in terror.
➤ .. YOUR YOUTHFUL LOOKS.. ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT RETURNED, YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL PSYCHE AS WELL. IN OTHER WORDS, MENTAL REGRESSION. ➤ .. YOU KNOW THE SAYINGS, YOU MAY BE EIGHTY, NINETY, BUT INSIDE YOU'RE STILL THE SAME. ➤ .. I TOLD YOU, DIDN'T I? YOU AIN'T A FULL-FLEDGED ADULT YET.
"You!" Pushing yourself upwards, gritting your teeth.. "What else you didn't tell me about?! You wanted me-" Pointing at yourself harshly. "To play your game yet you're treating your own player like this?"
➤ .. THERE'S NO FUN IN TELLING YOU EVERYTHING AT ONCE. WHAT'S A GAME FOR IF NOT FOR THAT SOLE PURPOSE? ➤ .. YOU FIGURE OUT EVERY SINGLE THING YOURSELF. WHAT AM I, IF NOT A LITTLE POP-UP TO GUIDE YOU ONCE IN AWHILE. ➤ .. THE REST IS UP TO YOUR WITS AND ABILITIES TO SURVIVE.
"What else didn't you tell me then?!" You yelled at the top of your lungs, clenching your fists tight. "Tell me now!"
➤ .. OH DARLING, NOW THAT'S WHAT I LOVE! ALRIGHT, THEN. ➤ .. DO YOU KNOW.. YOU MAY DO AS YOU WANT YET YOU HAVE TO HURRY. ➤ .. BECAUSE YOUR SOUL WON'T WITHSTAND STAYING IN THIS WORLD ANY LONGER.
"W-what do you mean?"
➤ .. RIGHT! I'VE ONLY TOLD YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN AFTER YOU LOSE, THE FINAL PHASE OF ABSORPTION. ➤ .. NOT ABOUT THE FIRST PHASE.. YET, THE PROCESS OF ABSORPTION.
The terror swirling inside the pit of your stomach grew tenfold. First phase..?
➤ .. ARE YOU SCARED? DON'T BE! I THOUGHT I'D SPARE YOU FROM THIS KNOWLEDGE A LITTLE BIT LONGER, YET THIS VIGOR OF YOURS INTRIGUES ME. ➤ .. YOU KNOW, ABSORPTION DOESN'T START THE MOMENT YOU FAIL. IT STARTED THE MOMENT YOU'VE ACCEPTED MY INVITATION. ➤ .. YOU CLAIMED YOU DON'T WANT TO KILL, YET DARLING, THAT'S FAR FROM THE TRUTH. YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT ONCE. ➤ .. BECAUSE THE SKIN IN WHICH YOU WERE PLAYING ALL THIS TIME, THE 'YOU' THAT LOSE LAST NIGHT IS ONE OF THE FALLEN PLAYERS' SKIN. BY ACCEPTING MY INVITATION FOR A SECOND CHANCE, A SECOND TRY. YOU'VE AGREED TO USE YOUR OWN SKIN, REMEMBER? ➤ .. THEREFORE IN THAT VERY MOMENT, IT HAD BEGUN.
Every single word it types out struck you deeper and deeper.
➤ .. AND NOW, YOU'D THINK THAT YOU ARE STILL YOU. WELL YES, IN FACT, YOU STILL ARE. ➤ .. BUT THE FIRST PHASE IS.. HOW CAN I SAY? IT BEGINS.. WITH YOUR YOUTH SLOWLY AND AND GRADUALLY RETURNING BACK. ➤ .. YOU'LL LOOK MORE YOUNGER WITH EACH DAY. ➤ .. AND THEN YOUR SOUL WILL START REGRESSING TO THE VERY MOMENT YOU EXPERIENCE THE PEAK OF EMOTION; JOY, BLISS, LOVE, WRATH.. THE POINT OF LIFE WHERE IT HAS IMPACTED YOU THE MOST. YOU WILL FIND YOUR MEMORIES FROM THAT POINT GROWING MORE VIVID AS IT WAS YOUR FIRST TIME TO EXPERIENCE IT. ➤ .. IN A SENSE, THE YOU FROM THAT PARTICULAR POINT WILL RETURN. ISN'T THAT FUN?
"Are you s-saying," Stuttering, struggling to form coherent words according to what you just read. "T-that everyone," You paused, engulfed with disbelief. "—around here.. was stuck in a particular age?"
➤ .. CORRECT! ITS THE AGE WHERE THEY FEEL THE MOST INTENSE EMOTIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME. ➤ .. KIND OF LIKE, TIME TRAVELLING BUT A LITTLE DIFFERENT!
Your lips fell apart.
Everyone here.. are the manifestation of when their psyche receives the most impact. As if getting absorbed here wasn't enough. They even had to suffer?
➤ .. BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE.
It twirls around, with its pinkness glowing brighter in shade every passing second. It leans closer, looking down at you.
➤ .. TO RETURN TO THE REAL WORLD. YOU WILL HAVE TO CONQUER THE WHIMS OF YOUR CHOSEN ONE'S ➤ .. HOWEVER, THE LONGER YOU TAKE TO WIN HIS HEART. ➤ .. THE MORE YOUR BODY AND SOUL WILL ROT.
"What do you mean by r-rot? In what way.. will I rot?" You stammered, suffocated by the entire revelation.
It beams up so bright it strains your eyes.
➤ ..THE MOMENT IT STOPS RIGHT WHERE YOUR PSYCHE EXACTLY ARE, WHERE IT REMAINS. ➤ .. YOU WILL START TO ROT.. IN A WAY YOU FEAR THE MOST. YOUR FEARS MANIFESTING AND DEVOURING YOU ALMOST LITERALLY! YOU MAY WONDER WHY? HUMANS ROT WHEN THEIR EMOTIONS ARE AMPLIFIED INTO A VOLUME THAT RENDERED THEM UNABLE TO THINK. ➤ .. ISN'T IT FASCINATING? EACH SOUL TRULY HAS ITS UNIQUE FLAVOR, REMEMBER? AND THATS WHAT MAKES EVERY SOUL A FREAK SHOW TO WITNESS!
Sheer terror illuminated your pupils, sucking out each hope of ever returning to the real world.
You could feel it—shreds of your remaining sanity slipping away.
➤ .. THE CODES FEEDS ON HUMAN'S FRAGILITY, MIMICKING ITS COMPLEXITY ALL WHILE ABSORBING ITS HOST AS A PART OF IT. ROLLING OUT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT! ➤ .. THAT IS THE FINAL PHASE. ➤ .. BY THEN, IT IS MY CHOICE WHETHER TO TURN YOU INTO ONE OF MY PAWNS, OR DISCARD YOU. I CAN EITHER TURN THE FALLEN PLAYERS INTO THE NPCS YOU SEE EVERYDAY, LIKE A DOLL! OR INTO THE COLLECTIONS OF SKIN FOR PLAYERS IN THE REAL WORLD TO PLAY. ➤ ..DO YOU GET IT NOW?
No, I don't get it.
You sat there, staring off into the space, chanting that sentence in your head all while dealing with the horrifying fact that your life truly no longer belongs to you. Paralyzed in downright fear.
Tangled in this predicament, called hell.
Not a single reaction surfaces from your face. Your head drops down like a hand stitched doll with its neck ripped in half, showcasing an image of its head supported by a snapping piece of thread. Met with the sight of your shoes, you would really never be able to return home, do you?
"Why.." You mumbled in a low voice.
"I don't get it." Getting up on your knees, filled with despair. The suffocating pain inside you contorts into madness, exploding you finally did. "W-why are you doing this to me?!"
You bawled, yelling at it in the top of your lungs, shaking with rage shook with rage as red hot tears streamed out the rims of your eyes.
"Why did you even exists?" Punching your chest, you flailed your arms around. "Why are you doing this to all of us?!"
"What did we do to you?!" A long, stretched out wail of agony poured out of your throat. "You're a monster!"
"No, am I?"
Your jaw dropped on the ground. As the popup morphs into a pink cat before your very eyes, propelling your body to stumble backwards in panic. It slowly crawled its way to you with its tail growing and stretching out like an organ, till it wraps around your neck in swift motion.
"G-get away! Get away from me!" Its death grip around your neck had you choking, suffocating, gasping for breath.
"Perhaps your lover?"
As the cat forms another new persona—your ex-boyfriend. The rims of your eyes gathered tears. You writhe in pain. legs kicking in frantic motions as those tail are now but long pair of hands suffocating you to death.
"Or your mother?"
The grip loosens, a hand caresses down your temple—wiping off the trailing sweat with such an affectionate manner. Rendering you completely paralyzed by the hands of your 'mother'.
"Or.. my dear pathetic self?"
A deafening slap echoes in the empty air. You clutched your face tight, puzzled and unstable. A mirror. The reflection of you standing before your eyes, yet with her lips twisted in a sneer. A downright replica of you. Every edge of its visage looks exactly like you.
Yet she acts nothing like you.
An orchestration of yourself plays out; spewing all your thoughts, the one you keep yourself. Uttering about how she hates herself for being so stupid. For confessing in the first place. For being such a useless person. Every single thing you kept inside you, she utters with no regards to anything.
"S-stop! Stop doing this to me!" You screamed at the top of your lungs, wailing in agony, covering your ears with your hands to block out the hysterical savageness.
Vulnerable; it was as if your skin were being ripped out, exposing your flesh and blood, everything inside you into a freak show. To see it play out like a drama in front of your eyes humiliated you.
A few beats of silence echoes.
You lifted your wavering eyelashes to see yourself looking down at you with the most menacing smirk.
"This is only a piece of what I have yet to know about you." She tilts her head playfully, approaching you in slow steps. "Remember, the longer you take... The more I get to know you, understand you, act like you, and finally be you. Now do you understand?"
Biting your lip, you force yourself to nod— praying for this nightmare to end once and for all. Your doppelganger broke into a laughter, before her eyes swell into what you can very well decipher as pity.
"Oh, don't look at me that way." She coos, lowering herself down to your fetal position. "It makes me sad, I am neither your enemy or friend. I'm just a little guide, here and there. You wish for a reality where you desire to be craved, and I gave you just that."
She knelt down, extending her palms to you. Your glossy eyes trembled, hesitating. To your surprise, she pulled you into her embrace. Caressing your hair with her palms suffocatingly tender.
"Oh dear me, I just have to take that boy's heart, make him fall for me, make him die for me.."
You barely stifled a yelp of pain when she yanked you away in great force, a gasp spills out of your lips when the same heavy rose pink tint flooded your vision.
"You have to make this man kill for you."
His feline eyes gazing into yours, deep and close—speaking right in front of your face, holding and sinking his fingers on both your arms.
The visage of Jungwon.
He leans in forward, intertwining your both of your wrists in his grip before pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek.
Your cheeks flushed involuntarily as his lips came into contact with your neck, colliding behind your earlobe occasionally—sending tingles of goosebumps across your body.
"Make him hold you close, kiss you, and vow his life to you."
This explicit touches under his visage riled up your hormones, twisting an unfamiliar knot below your belly, alarming you. With your trembling arms, you tried pushed him away with your legs yet his grip tightens on your wrists causing you to hiss in pain—a single teardrop escaping the rim of your eye, mirroring your desire to escape.
Pair of strong arms manhandling you, forcing you into a position. Your ears are deafened by this pounding heart behind your chest, as he wipes off the tear from your cheek with his thumb.
"You know, I recall the days where my previous darlings, all of had given me the best and worthy performances, yet a few stood out the most."
His pretty eyes floated off the distance, as if reminiscing the old days.
"There was this one who didn't care at all of the NPCs in this game. He goes on a kill streak, obsessed with achieving the genocide ending. He amuses me yet was so hasty—he forgot that there was a witness escaping his hands."
A spine-chilling giggle floats out of his lips as he continued. "And another one no longer has the will to live her life whatsoever, leaving herself to rot till the very end."
"Ah! I remember," He beams up, "There was this one boy who was also just like you, he broke down into shambles after knowing everything. He swore he would never hurt anyone, but he soon lose control as he slowly reverts to his younger self, by then he's nothing like he was as an adult. He was so terrified of himself that he threw himself off the school roof."
Humming a certain tune, he gripped your shoulders—lifting your jaw up with her thumb, forcing you to look into her eyes.
"That's why you have to work for it, my darling. You don't have much time, after all. Make him yours, then all of him—he shall dedicate to you."
And then your vision flashes. Dropping on your elbows when the grip holding your wrists up vanishes. With no one in this room but you. Till you lifted your head to see the same pop-up—glowing and floating with ease.
➤ .. SONARE, YOU MAY CALL ME THAT.
Sonare?
Electrocution sparks in your veins, propelling you to wince at your hand. Your back curled involuntarily, clasping your chest almost immediately as you felt something inside. Crawling and devouring.
Its starting.
It's only about time where you'll witness the manifestation of your deepest fears.
➤ .. ISN'T THIS WHAT LIFE IS? IN PURSUIT OF SOMETHING, THAT IS HOW HUMANS LIVE. OR ELSE, HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO MOVE?
Mental regression, your soul rotting, your family. Everything else is at stake.
Clenching your fists tight on the floor, you lifted your head up forcing a short laughter. Tears had dried, only to be replaced with the sticky sensation latching on your cheeks.
"I can ask for your help.. right?"
➤ .. YOU MAY CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE IN DIRE NEED OF HELP, BUT THAT DOESN'T GUARANTEE THAT I'LL ALWAYS COME TO YOUR AID. ➤ .. IT'S NO FUN WHEN PLAYERS KEEPS GETTING HINTS.. ➤ .. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW.
Death.
A loop that could never be broken. You felt as if your life are slipping away from the tips of your fingers every passing second.
Sniffing in as you wiped off your tears with your collar, you headed to the cafeteria with a heavy heart, you went on with the tray like everyone else. You lost track of time, not having any knowledge of what had happened right after you the entire sequences of events.
You're drained.
Chewing on the meat, you sat alone just as you expected. Everyone else had their own circles, and the canteen are spilling with enmeshed voices in various rhythms. You'd find it kind of comfortable to just listen to back then, even when you'd have no one to talk with, just listening still gives you a little comfort. A fantasy world on your own.
But now all of their conversations is made up of a set of codes, repeating accordingly with their task of the day.
Take a breathe, you tell yourself.
You have a long way to go.
Go back to square one. School rivals. Just how many are there? Ten. There are a total of ten rivals. You had to eliminate all of them to survive.
Before you could even reach him, you'd be dead by all these delinquents, crazy fangirls, and students digging their eyes on you. Acting on your missions possessed great risks.
Just making one single error can cost your life; getting caught by one of the students while acting on your missions means getting expelled. Student councils, teachers, and the detectives themselves. It's such a terribly long path with thorny traps and blood spilled.
Refusing to do your missions. Death.
Getting caught. Death.
Expelled. Death.
Failing to win his heart and turning him a yandere for you. He'll be the one to lead you to your graveyard.
It's either theirs, or yours. They will kill you, he will kill you, unless you kill them first.
An inevitable bloodshed..
A gasp spills out of your throat, with your line of vision dripping in avalanche of blood. No. It isn't blood. Cold red juice drips down your face, washing over your skin with it's freezing temperature making your neck shiver at the contact.
Yet the words that followed after were even more colder, laced with contempt.
"Look at our pathetic one-sided love baby girl having her meal all alone,"
The delinquents. All of them gathered in front of you. Your eyes widened in radical inches. It's impossible. They would've never known! Unless someone has been sneaking on you, telling on you with everyone else. But as far as you've remembered, you've avoided getting under someone's skin.
Was it the occult club? The science club? Or perhaps the gardening club?
But this is really fucked up. The fact that your reputation is at its lowest right now meant everyone can ridicule you, make fun of you, toss you around like a play toy.
Series of sinister giggles spilled out one after another, an orchestration of parody playing out before you. You shudder in great humiliation yet you remain still—you couldn't afford to make anymore mistakes that could lead to you possibly being expelled. This is no longer the silly game you spent on trying to beat, this is now your real world with you are living as it's player.
"It was her fault, anyways. How could she ever think she could gain Jungwon's affection with the way she looks?"
"Right! She's making herself out here as a fool!"
"Pretty, you should've rehearse your love confession a bit. No wonder, Jungwon doesn't find you at the very least interesting. It's so bland, having no flavor! And again, can't you just be grateful for his friendship?"
"Where's your self-respect?"
The vein on your necks protrudes a visible line, hands tensing as you gripped tightly on the fork. Fire pit surging up inside your lungs as you struggle to breathe, desiring to scream at their face.
Don't lose your shit. They're just but an NPCs. They're not who they are anymore. A trap is all that it is.
You've withstand this so many times before, what differences would it make now? So why, are you so fucking pissed off?
Hands trembling as you continued chewing the bread in your mouth, and taking another mouthful bite, filling your cheeks and chewing each piece excruciatingly.
Swallowing it all down your throat with agony, as you recalled Sonare's words.
➤ .. AH, MY DARLING. I JUST WONDER, THOUGH. ➤ .. HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP THIS NAIVETY OF YOURS? ➤ .. HOW LONG CAN YOU LAST.. BEFORE YOU ACHE TO SHED, TO THIRST FOR BLOOD?
You ran off.
Not before hearing the multitude of mockeries and degradation behind you.
It happens way in a blink of an eye. You didn't know what to do, what to act, what to say—in fear of a single mistake that would cause a heavy damage on your reputation, a massive drop that would push you a little closer to death.
With wobbling legs, you fell on your knees. Palms planted firmly on the asphalt. What was that.. clawing on your soul? This growing desire to snap their necks, images of decapitated heads and limbs flashing through your head.
What you've experienced was beyond you, as if someone had their hands wrapped around your wrist, hushing into your ear to shut their mouth once and for all. You were almost on the verge of slamming that blade in their heads.
Exhaling and inhaling a huge air, it does nothing but deepens the pain in your chest, you feel like you could explode at any moment from now.
"Hey, everything's okay there?"
A hand stretches suddenly before you catching you by surprise, you look up with fleeting curiosity—the hazy image of a girl.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Your shoulders droop down as your vision clears, with the back of her hand stroking down your temples, dark silk-like hair framing her face which only accentuates her doe eyes—Kim Minji.
"You're sweating," Pure concern etched on her features, Minji turned behind her—talking with someone. "She's so pale.. Guys, I think we have to get her to the infirmary room."
Giving a clearer view, your eyes fell on two boys; appearing as a slick black-haired boy, the tag name on his uniform written Jake Sim.
But a particular someone capture your heavy lids—standing next to him; the bane of your existence. Those eyes you had to make yours—to harbor affections, obsessions, and undying fervor; Yang Jungwon.
But how? In his eyes, you're nothing but a girl who had confessed to him, yet rejected. Why the fuck do you have to relive the same humiliation twice?
"Oh, isn't she?—" Jake halted his steps, seemingly surprised after kneeling to take a better look at you. His head turning behind him, locking eyes with Jungwon, where the boy in return has a disinterested look but cleared his throat, approaching closer.
"We have to hurry, she doesn't look too well." Jungwon says, patting Jake's back. "You go ahead, and carry her."
"Oh," Jake complied, turning his attention back to you with the same concern as Minji's in his eyes—walking to your side as he loops his arm around your back, placing other hand under your leg—lifting you up with ease.
With Jungwon following behind, hands in his pockets. Minji says with concern lace in her voice, stroking your cheek. "Hurry, Jake."
The boy in question huffs, where the heavy weight in your head pushes your lids down, dropping your head on his shoulder. The last thing you see was pitch black darkness on the other side of the tunnel, multiple giant hands stretching out to pull you inside it.
Forcing you out of your will, dragging you across the puddled asphalt. You cried out for help, your pleas echoing relentlessly. On the end of the tunnel, you could see hope illustrated in the brightest color of white.
You dragged yourself, crawling on your knees until you reached the end.
The landscape of white snows greeted your eyes. It was cold, freezing your bare skin and neck. You let your face be washed over by the breeze, closing your eyes to heighten its sensation. You're in this place again. This fucked up place.
Two silhouettes fading in the distance, stepping into a cabin caught your attention. Freezing in hell, you'd think the imagery of that underworld would be like how it was depicted in books and so. However here, you feel wholly empty, gnawing at that organ behind your ribcage.
You let your eyes remain on the cabin, recalling what your mother says, that girls shouldn't confess first yet you rejected the very idea; that regardless of gender, everyone should be able to confess their love. You didn't heed her advices, fulfilling your own set of principles, and thus you are left with more questions than answers if the boy ever love you even.
Mother was right, not everyone would reciprocate that love with sincerity and genuineness but instead manipulate it into their own benefit.
You're left behind, asking why? You felt her palms rubbed the back of your head, whispering another waves of words into your ears.
"You should never perceive yourself as a victim."
Don't complain. Once you lament your entire life only on that question, that's where hell breaks loose. Because a victim will only see themselves as one, and no one else.
A frog that frustrates over who threw the stone, lamenting over the question;
.. Why me?
But in your case, you'd like to turn this sentence into,
.. Why not me?
Why didn't he choose me in the end? Why did he choose other over me? Those questions lingered in your head.
All your life, you controlled yourself to a degree even when someone stomped on you. You bear it all, withstand it.
But it wasn't because you were kind. You don't see yourself as one.
Mother never says that, she never tells you to be evil either. Too much on either side will after all, spell your end. Your co-workers might have perceive you in the role of a victim, expressing their concerns and all that. But you don't see why, you don't see yourself as pathetic like everyone does. Even when they say you're pitiful. You don't.
You do not see yourself as pathetic, you were doing it because you just had to. You'd had to be part of this society, to survive.
Why should you live according to others' point view of life? How you view it is up to you. Mother was always right.
She was always right, that you've wanted to give her a call and cry it all out on her shoulder. But you knew that you won't be able to do so, as you've failed her not once but twice. Yet you can't help but mumble to yourself, crying out a helpless whisper.
"Mom, I'm dying."
Your eyes shot wide open.
Four white walls.
Your pupils darted wildly around you before letting out a dejected sigh after recalling what happened before you passed out. With heavy lids, you looked over to your side where you notice Minji sleeping on the edge of the bed.
You recalled the words of your boss upon seeing her.
Back then, even though, you ache to shove something into that bastard's mouth, and perhaps suffocate him to death, you persisted—digging your nails on the back of your hand, leaving a crescent marks on it that lasted for awhile. Because he was right, you'd be a hassle to look at.
Minji was the complete opposite. A visage that exudes a classic beauty, one that enthralls everyone close to her. You haven't know much about her yet, but you could get why Jungwon likes her back.
You held the need to scoff, it's just like how it was back then.
In this world, we are all, after all—easily replaceable.
Everyone was nowhere but her, however you could see the nurse in the other room adjacent to this one. Yet not a trace of Jake including Jungwon himself are at sight. Almost close, yet he slips away from your fingers once more. Upon realizing the cold damp cloth on your forehead, you're left with the question of why she had to go this far.
It's like a game of fate, though.
You didn't expect it would be this easy to get close to her. Almost tempting that your thoughts are almost morphing into ones you despise. With your eyes catching the sight of the syringe on the table across from you, you're compelled to take it and dig it inside her neck. It brought back a wave of nostalgia, a very grim one into your eyes.
You shook your head, praying for these thoughts to go away.
The girl shifted in his movements, raising her eyelids open which met yours much to your surprise. Noticing you're awake, her eyes lit up—pushing herself upright swiftly but now with concern swimming in her pupils as she asks.
"You're awake! Are you feeling okay now?"
Now that she was closer unlike the first time in the courtyard, her voice feels more clearer, to your surprise—it was kind of deep and husky. Like the ebbs and flows of the waves washing over the shore—it was pleasant to the ears.
Perhaps, a distinctive voice that you would probably remember for some time. Was she a singer in her real life? A small sentiment grow within your heart at the fact that she's very much gone already, and that whatever question you may have about what she's like, or regarding to her real life should be discarded as it won't do you any favor.
Vapid shells that once sang the hymns of the oceans. Now nothing but just a relentless roaring of the abyss. You wondered if they ever call for help when the life vanishes out of their eyes?
Licking your dry lips, you tried to push yourself up. Minji placed her palms on your back, assisting you as you sat up. "Slow down."
"You're?" Throat hoarse, you voiced out that question—feigning ignorance. You don't know what to do yet, but you can't let this chance go to waste.
"Minji," Her lips pursed up in a tender smile, "Kim Minji."
"Thanks, Minji." Placing your hand on hers, "For helping me just now."
"You don't need to, plus I wasn't the only one." Minji gestures her thumb behind her, keeping the sweet smile on her lips. "The other guys helped too, but they left awhile ago since your shirt was quite drenched."
"Oh," It was only now that you've realize your shirt was taken off, leaving you in your singlet where the former can be seen hanging on the clothing rack. "Thanks again, sorry for troubling you so much."
Shaking her head profusely, Minji replies with a small pout. "Don't say that, we are suppose to help each other when we're in need, no?"
'Help each other'. It might've done some wonders to your heart if not for the fact that this is not reality. That sentence doesn't sit too well with you in this very game. It feels off, somehow. Still, you nodded your head showing appreciation for her help.
There's a trace of hesitation swimming in her eyes, "You don't look like you were sweating that much though, did something happen?"
The sequences back in the canteen flashes in your mind, reminding you of how you were so close to death. Looking down at your legs covered by the sheets, you mustered the best small smile you can.
"I suppose I have annoyed someone."
"Did you beat up their ass?" Her question caught you off guard, but even more so with her eyes filled with anticipation as she leans closer to you. You were stammering, unsure of what to say until she notices her close proximity—letting out a nervous chuckle as she apologize meekly. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I'm used to it."
With a trace of what you can recognize as sympathy, swirls in her eyes. She squeezes your hand, lending you warmth.
"You've been sleeping for two hours now."
"I d-did?" Your eyes widened in shock, realizing that you must've skipped the second period which would lower your reputation meter once again. Grimacing as you cupped your forehead, "Please don't tell me you've skipped your class, too?'
"To be honest, yeah.." Minji pursed up a shy smile, "I'm just worried, you really seem like you're not in a good condition.."
You raise a brow at what she could possibly be implying at, until she finished her sentence.
"You kept saying.. that you're definitely dying." She rested her palms on yours, "Its really concerning so I can't help it but stay here with you. Whatever you're thinking about, you're not alone, okay?"
Ah. Was she thinking that you're trying to commit suicide?
In your peripherals, you could see the nurse approaching with a bottle of pills and a glass of water in her hands. "Migraines,"
As she lends you the glass and the pill, it left you downright baffled. Almost scoffing audibly at the very idea of getting fake pills. What this would do to you even?
"Take it easy, by the way. You've got to look after your health, otherwise it would only worsen and you might have to take a leave for a day or two."
No.
There was no way you could skip school—especially more than two days. Especially not after knowing all of the things that could and would happen once you're away. Not wasting any time, you quickly gulped down the pill down your throat—even when you know that it won't help that much—from this pernicious effects of your pending death.
A silhouette catches your peripherals, lips falling apart when he appears again. Yet as your heart involuntarily calls out for him, the name that floats out of his tongue is her name.
"Minji,"
"Wonnie," That nickname catches you by surprise, seeing the obvious effect on Jungwon's visage—dusting his cheeks with pink. "You're back!"
A reaction that sends a pang into your heart. It only amplified by the way his fingers tucked her hairlocks behind her ear—running his fingers down along her hair with such tenderness. The way his eyes are locked into Minji's—listening to her attentively as she talks—like every word that she utters matters more to him more than anything.
Looking away, you reminded yourself that you aren't in love with him. It's this game's mechanics convincing you that you are. So get yourself back in your senses.
"I see," As he lifted his eyes away from Minji to you, "Are you okay now?" His face turns to blank with dull eyes, despite his question carrying a sense of concern, you could sense it—this colossal wall he raises up around you, as if to shield you away from him.
A sheer gap of how he treats you and Minji is evident. Slammed at your face, even. Its only the first day yet somehow it looks like he's too far in deep.
Was Sonare lying to you again?
Whatever it may be. You're screwed. It won't be long till those eyes of his morph into sinister ones, into a fatal poison that would cost your life.
Forcing the best genuine smile you could muster, casting it on Minji.
"Thanks to Minji, yes."
"Good to hear."
He replies nonchalantly before turning his attention back to his girlfriend, his sugary demeanor surfacing back up. "You haven't eaten yet, so I've grabbed you something to eat from the cafeteria."
"You got me my favorite!" Minji beams up, jaw dropping slightly at the plastic wrapped sandwich and an orange juice box. "Thank you Wonnie."
She grabbed his hand, expressing appreciation to him with her eyes but then confusion surfaces from her visage. With her brows knitted together, she tilted her head a bit further to look behind Jungwon. "Is that all?"
"Yeah?"
"But," She turns to look at you, and then at Jungwon. "You didn't got her one?"
"Oh, sorry. I forgot." Jungwon rub his nap, as he says nonchalantly. "To be fair, that was the last one."
Lie. That's a lie.
You knew that wasn't the truth.
Despite knowing from his profile that Jungwon isn't a liar, nor does he utter white lies for the sake of others. You've remembered another thing once you scrolled down to the section of how he's like once he turns into a yandere; that once he starts falling for the player, he will begin to lie even if its the thing he had swore to never do in the first place.
You could see it. He just doesn't see the reason why he should get another one because you are not that even important to him, so why should he care about your wellbeing? As difficult as it was to swallow it down your throat, this is only the beginning. He'd treat you far more worse with each of his heart slowly dedicating itself to this girl in front of you.
"We'll share then," Minji says, as she breaks the sandwich in half—surprising you and Jungwon. "Here!"
Shaking your head, "H-hey, you don't have to, I'm not that hungry."
"You got to eat," She insisted, pushing the half of the bun on your hand. "You've skipped over lunch too, right?"
"No, I did! I've eaten."
That came out louder than you expected it to as the girl jolted in response but emitted a slight laughter shortly after. She looks back and forth at the foods on her hands, before lifting the other hand with the orange juice box on it.
"Then.. Maybe a drink would do?" Minji asks you with a convincing smile before tilting her head up to Jungwon, seemingly asking for permission. "I'm not that thirsty, anyways."
Jungwon just patted her hair, nodding in silence.
Acknowledging that she probably won't give up, you accepted it—punching the straw in the box, taking a sip from it as you observed the two getting in lost in their own world once more, like how Minji shyly commented how the sandwich tastes a lot more better when Jungwon bought it—the need to grimace amplifies, as your head are shrouded with numerous how's.
Of how to rip them apart from each other.
The match-making method would no longer work in this situation. There was no way you will be able to rip them both off each other without resorting to the very method you've been trying to avoid.
She may no longer have her consciousness intact anymore, but even the image of yourself stabbing her to death repulsed you.
➤ .. TO WIN OVER HIS HEART, TO MAKE HIM YOURS—YOU MUST LOSE YOURSELF, FIGURATIVELY OF COURSE! ➤ .. UNLESS IF YOU FAIL IN DOING SO, YOU'LL PERISH IN WAYS YOU'D NEVER IMAGINE.
You pushed away Sonare's words out of your head with a grimace.
You didn't want to keep imagining it you really don't. However, just how long are you going to keep this up? The fact that you've still yet to decide of what is the best way to get rid of her?
You still have a chance, as Jungwon hasn't turn into a yandere yet.. But it won't be long till he falls deeper for his now-girlfriend, Minji.
"Hold on, Heeseung's calling." Jungwon showed the flip phone's screen to Minji before going outside, which she nodded in return.
You didn't miss how he stroke his fingers on Minji's hair before leaving, a gesture that propels a shy smile in the girl's lips.
It hasn't been a day of them being lovers yet, but why the fuck is he so lovestruck? It only does nothing but distress you further. Plus, its weird.. of how Minji seems to have her guard down before you as if she doesn't know anything about it.
Her amiable acts towards you led you to believe that she was unaware of the events between you and Jungwon. He might've kept it from her, or just didn't see it important enough to tell her. All the way more convincing you that you are nothing to him.
You had to make something, do something in some way.
"Which club are you from, by the way?" You asked, partly of genuine curiosity, and partly because you have to dig in more details of her.
"Oh, I'm haven't join one yet.. But I got my eye on one or two clubs."
"What are they, then?"
"Drama, or the light music club." She replied, her fingers fiddling the hem of her sleeves. "But I'm leaning towards the latter.. because singing has always been my favorite thing to do."
This won't be easy, you thought to yourself.
"That's cool!" Feigning support, "You really do look like one, you know, like a singer."
You captured how her eyes lit up with stars. "You really think so?"
Nodding with no trace of hesitation, she lets out a small chuckle, as if she was suspense with disbelief.
"That's- I just didn't think that anyone would notice," Minji says with her eyes gazing out the window, but as you trace at where she was looking at, her eyes seems to look further than you can reach. "I mean, no has ever said that in this place."
"No one has ever said so?"
"Yeah, you're the first one." She says with a smile you somehow feel genuine, "You got a really good eye, I have to say."
Minji asks back with her attention undivided, leaning forward—seemingly curious as well. "What about you? Are you planning to join one of the clubs here as well?"
To be fair, you haven't join any clubs in this particular server you were playing in. You had some plans to get in the art club or martial club sometime ago, but had long forgotten about it. But now, it seems like the art club is your best bet, for now, that is.
"I was thinking, Ar—" Your words were punctuated by the distant chatters outside this room. Jungwon's voice blending with another, which you can't seem to decipher. But it grew clearer as they approached closer.
Jungwon appeared, with a particular someone following behind him.
"Jesus, I thought someone got hurt when you said you were by the infirmary room." The boy rolled his eyes as he shuts his flip phone. "Hey Minji, and.."
His eyes fell on you.
"Who's this?"
Purple hair framing his face, bouncing on his eyelashes—almost obscuring his doe eyes. The eldest among the yanderes, and the leader of the gaming club—Lee Heeseung. If there was one thing most memorable about him in his profile, is that he has a big obsession with collecting keyboards. Not often spotted around his members as he spent afterhours in the gaming club, playing games all day.
You're surprised that he doesn't look at all malnourished, or close to the stereotypical image of a gamer; disheveled hair, dark eyebags, and a gloomy atmosphere but rather a neat, and well-combed hair, paired with a healthy skin tone. Not what you would expect from someone who is cramped all day in a dimly-lit room.
You'd often wonder how the heck the players who chose him would be able to get him out of his inner world of games and keyboards.
Before Minji could answer, Jungwon did.
"Minji was the one who found her almost passed out behind the academy, so we brought her here."
With a complete air of nonchalance, that is. Since awhile ago, you notice how Jungwon has never laid his eyes on you for more than three seconds, his eyes was everywhere but you.
"So?"
"So what?" Heeseung asked with evident confusion.
"I thought you wanted to say something on the way here?"
"Why am I here again? Ah yes, the club." Heeseung mumbling to himself, before letting out a rather loud 'tsk'.
"What's up with the club?"
"You know what I'm talking about," Heeseung ruffled his hair, pushing his tongue in his cheek. "No, seriously, not one but two of the club members quitted. Like why the fuck didn't they inform me way back then? Such a bummer."
"What are you suppose to do even there?" Minji suddenly asks.
Heeseung turns to look at her, "Gaming?"
"Just gaming?"
"Yeah, what else are you suppose to do then?"
"I seriously don't get why the Gaming Club was approved in the first place." Minji shrugs, in which you shared the same thought as well. She has a point, though.
Back in the real world, you never found the gaming club useful at all. Its benefits where you could do missions through playing games to raise your stats kind of wasted your time.
"Well, you'd probably don't get it." Heeseung rolled his eyes, seemingly finding it useless to banter with her before turning to the boy in front of him. "Anyways, Jake has been considering to quit the drama club. What say you, Jungwon?"
"Me?" Jungwon points at himself, in which the former nodded in response. "Who says I'm leaving my club?"
"Dude, just quit the martial arts club." Heeseung says, with an amused expression trying to stifle a chuckle. "It's not like we have any serial killers around here with their ass for you to kick?"
Somehow, you found yourself stiffening at Heeseung's words.
"I'm in dire need for club members now, Yang."
"Ask others, then?" Jungwon said, "You know how many students wants to join your club, especially the girls."
"No, not the girls, please." Grimacing, Heeseung shook his head. "I don't have anything against girls but the thing is they don't have the same level of passion for gaming," Pointing his index finger on the ground as he continues speaking, "Not in this academy, okay?"
"The boys?"
"Sunghoon and Jay isn't budging the fuck from their recipes, while Sunoo had just joined the occult club a month ago, and Ni-ki?" Heeseung shook his head, facepalming himself. "That kid has no sense of either punctuality or responsibility."
He pauses his words in-between, though—as if a light bulb lighted up in his head.
"Wait, if I could get Jake. Perhaps, Ni-ki would follow along."
"Go for it, then."
A sigh spills out of Heeseung's lips. "The calculation I made for this is undoubtedly fairly low, unfortunately. So please,"
Jungwon only shrugs in return, seemingly putting a thought about it.
"You're my only hope now aside from Jake, or else the faculty room's gonna shut my club down, dude." Desperation evident in Heeseung's voice as he kneels down much to you all's surprise. With Jungwon having to force him to stand up but the latter only pressed on, insisting with no hint of giving up at all.
"Oh god, Heeseung." Minji cups her forehead at the sight playing out in front of her before asking you with her lips pursed up in a smile "Which club was it again, the one you wanted to join?"
"Art club."
Hearing your answer, Minji turns to look at the boy kneeling on the floor. "Guess there's no hope for you then."
Heeseung groaned, mumbling to himself how he wasted his energy going all the way down here.
"By the way, Minji. Aren't you suppose to look for the light club's members now?" Jungwon asks, a question directed to Minji.
"Oh my god!" The girl in question abruptly stands, the chair creaking at the same time. "You're right! I totally forgot about it!"
"I'll accompany you there," Jungwon suggested, stretching his hands out to her. You avoid the image of their hands intertwining, looking the other way.
"(Name), you'll be fine here, right?" Minji asks with enthusiasm, in which you nodded in return, assuring her that its okay. "I'll be back later!"
And so you observed as the two left, with Heeseung following behind them but with a pair of eyes you could see fleeting in the distance.
Footsteps and chatters fading in the distance. You watched the faint marmalade sky, taking a deep sigh as you closed your eyes, rummaging your head of what to do.
You opened your eyes to see that he hasn't left yet.
"Why are you still—"
"Ah, so you're (Name)?" Heeseung pulls away after he read your tag name, standing still all while humming a certain tune, quite familiar to your ears but you can't pinpoint where you did it hear from. "You play games?"
"No." You replied swiftly.
Judging by his first question, it was better if you shut it down fast as you don't have any intention in joining the gaming club, since it doesn't have any advantages or benefits like other clubs does. To summarize it, its a completely useless club.
Tilting his head, you feel the curiosity enveloped in his eyes. "What do you mean by 'no'?"
You raise one brow, confused as to what he was implying at.
"Your eyes," Chuckling, he gestures his fingers over his eyes, "They look like they hurt a lot, that means you must have been playing a whole lot of games."
"If you're planning to ask me to join your club, then sorry, I lose all the time."
"Pity, why don't you join my club then?" He chimes in, insisting with chins buried on his palms. "Perhaps under my tutelage, you'll get really, really good at gaming."
"I don't really care in improving my gaming." You rebutted almost nonchalantly, leaning your head on the pillow as you shut your eyes tight.
"Ugh, so close." Heeseung whines, however seemingly insistent at the topic. "Then why do you play games in the first place?"
"What else do you think?" You looked into his eyes, trying to show him that you're bored.
A few beats of silence.
"I don't think so," Heeseung says, "You don't like someone who would play for pastime."
"What makes you think so?"
"Like I said, your eyes." Heeseung says, "It hurts right?"
You played games for what really?
A game where you can freely act on your desires without inflicting real pain on real people, a fantasy world where you shouldn't cross the line.
A line you wanted someone else to cross for you instead.
You wanted someone to be selfish for you for once. Someone who won't have their love wavers with one look on others. Someone who wouldn't say.. that it wasn't true love.
It just so happens that you found this game. You ended up finding solace in these so-called yanderes where they will only have their eyes on you, where their top priority is the best interest of your heart, an affection that exceeds all boundaries and limits, vowing loyalty that never fleets till the end of their life.
It's hilarious how this beings are the twisted form of that sentence your mother utters; instead of manipulating you and using you like a play toy, it was instead used in a way to make you theirs. You ache for that kind of love. It may be all toxic, yet your body aches to be embraced. You had no hope for these obsession to exist in the real world.
Hence why you could only let out your frustrations and lamentation in this game. It's all about you, only you. That's what you love about it. A virtual world where you can unleash your pain, act on your wildest desires, and appease your hurting soul.
Thoughts come and go. But some just persists, latching in the depths of your soul like a pest, therefore your brain does what its best at—to protect you; keep it, hide it like your dirty laundry, and kicking it off in the deepest and darkest corner.
There was no need to hurt someone else just because you had been hurt yourself. You vowed that to yourself.
However you can't deny that this mind of yours, this soul of yours will never be the same. It's tainted. Smudged. Scarred. You're beyond saving, no matter how you try. You can hide it all you want, yet its there, creeping back up when you're presented with that same image of a dirty laundry.
The very same dirty laundry this game is preying on, urging you to nurture it, to let go of your self. To let yourself snap. To make you go back on your own words. A freak show in its eyes.
Oh, how the tables had turned.
"Not all people play games to get better or become pro at it like you do."
Heeseung hums in response, leaning against the edge of the window. "What type of games do you like?"
"Why do you care?"
"Hey," He scoffed, "So is it classified as weird to ask harmless questions now?"
You rolled your eyes, "It's a game where you have to survive."
"Bingo, I'm a pro at surviving, you see." Heeseung throws you a wink, "I can give you tips on how to win if you let me."
"Unfortunately for you," You covered your eyes with your forearm, giving a signal that he should just leave already. "It's a fucked up game, and I don't like playing games anymore anyways."
"I know that words," The boy snickers, approaching you with growing interest laced in his voice. "Tell me, what is this game that's making you act up like this?"
"It's none of your business."
"It is, gaming is my forte."
"Your forte in gaming won't save you from this one."
"What makes you think I can't?" You could feel his silhouette near the edge of the bed, casting a shadow on you. "All the games I've played, I've won."
No, you've lose. Despite being unsure of whether the yanderes themselves are once real people. You couldn't help but be affected by his words. Scoffing at the irony at the words leaving his mouth, you pulled your forearm from your eyes—pushing yourself to sit upright.
Meeting his eyes, you said. "Haven't you wonder that it must be that you've never found a game that will make you lose, yet?"
"That's why I have to play it, we'll know if we never try." He pressed on, keeping the smirk on his lips.
His confidence and all this words is pushing you towards the brink. Groaning, you let yourself fall back on the pillow. Shifting your body where you back faces him. "You'll definitely lose, I'm telling you."
"What? Does it take two players to win?" Tilting his head in amusement, chuckling. "If you're afraid in hindering me, then I don't suck that bad to the point to be held back by an amateur, you know."
"Not even close." Your frown deepens. "You'll only die."
"It doesn't hurt to try."
"It will hurt."
"C'mon, now."
"Don't get too ahead of yourself."
"What's a game for if not to take risks?" Heeseung smirks, "Its not too different from life, you see. There's a reason why they say life is a game." He leans closer, "We only got one chance in life."
You scoffed with your eyes closed, "I didn't know the gaming club's leader can be this persistent outside his computers, but I guess you are staying true to your role as a gamer."
"Well, you won't excel in life if you don't play your role well."
Finally losing your patience, with your eyes now shot wide open—you pushed yourself upright once more, glaring at him with spite. "Seriously? I thought you said to your friend just now that you don't want any girls to join your club because they don't have that, what was it again?"
Heeseung tilted his head sideways, waiting for you to finish your words.
"Ah, yes, passion." With a clenched jaw, and annoyance plastered on your face—you raise your index finger at him, "So why the fuck are you forcing me to join your club?"
"What? Are you offended about what I said?"
"The thing is, I don't care."
"What I said was true, though." Heeseung bends down to your eye level, "No one here has a passion for gaming like I do."
"So why—"
"But I see in it you." With your eyes locked together with his, you could the deep curiosity swirling within. A hollow well yet so strange it sucks your breath away, like a pair of hands wrapped on the back of your head. "Like I said, your eyes."
You released a shaky breath when he finally pulls away, breaking the intense prolonged eye contact.
"What say you, pretty?" His voice pulls you out, "Maybe I can help you win."
With trembling hands, you spat out. "Leave."
"Alright, alright, I'll be leaving now." Heeseung's voice fades as he heads off to the exit, but your ears caught on his halted steps. "But my offer still stands. In case you change your mind, you know where to find me."
With silence finally enveloping the room, you're left wondering what had just happened. What was that, even?
The leader of the yanderes offering you to join his club, which doesn't serve you any benefits. But as you've given it more thought, perhaps this is the golden chance to get closer to Jungwon, which is through his friends. What better way is it if not through the leader himself?
But if everything went exactly the way you want it to be, what would you do with Minji? After that seemingly genuine conversation with her, it pains your heart to even imagine anything sort that way.
It leaves you more conflicted as time passes, though, as you can't still seem to decide whether joining the gaming club is better than the art club. As tempted as you are, you cannot join the martial arts club. You are certain that it will only push Jungwon away from you.
Instead, the drama club would give you way more benefits with its costume and masks, and Jake was there too but Heeseung had mentioned that he's considering of leaving so there's that. While the cooking club has both Sunghoon and Jay—the unfortunate encounter you had with the former earlier had left you somewhat intimidated by him, and remembering Jay's profile doesn't make you feel any better as he had a shady history.
Perhaps the occult club would be a better option, and Sunoo has been an active member for two months. Despite being one of the yanderes, he's a sweet boy with a cheerful demeanor—and that makes it easier to get close to him. But the overall atmosphere of the other occult members makes you grimace, they don't seem very welcoming in your opinion.
Ruffling your hair in a mess, you clenched your jaw as you couldn't find yourself making the right decision.
What's even the right decision? You are scared. You truly are scared. It has been awhile since you've felt this much dread and fear. You've gotten really good at holding yourself back all this time, doing so well not letting your personal emotions getting the best of you.
But now you aren't so sure anymore.
You weren't sure of which are you scared of more too; was it the fact that your entire existence will be wiped out if you fail, or was it because you'll rot, or was it because everything you've tried so hard to forget will flood back once more?
Or maybe it was everything altogether.
Truth to be told, you're afraid of the you that will slowly return. That part of you that sees herself as a victim and no one else. You didn't want to go back to her anymore.
It was so far back, hazy swirls shrouding your head. You suppressed it in a way. You can no longer remember the details. Yet it was there inside your heart. That reeking dirty laundry swirling your heart, recycling it like a washing machine.
A side of you that deeply perturbs your soul.
Deep down, it also terrifies you that this game will come to understand you soon, more than you do.
A frog that frustrates over who threw the stone, lamenting over the question; "Why me?"
You do not wish to go back to the you from back then. Not anymore.
Your lips fell apart when the atmosphere against your bare skin changes, growing thick and tense as if someone had pressed the pause button. The swaying lush trees beyond the window halted, and the nurse on the other side of the room stood still. The chatters outside are replaced with a deafening silence.
A gasp spills out of your throat when the same pink display screen like Sonare appeared, however instead of texts—list of choices are presented before your eyes.
Whatever you choose to term it with, these set of choices are now the bane of your life. A heavy weight pushing you down as you read each choice, leaving you more distress than ever.
You've got to instill it in your mind that being Jungwon's girlfriend isn't enough, you have to make him die for you—where everything he sees, hear, smell, and taste is you.
If you want to live, you had to.
Make him yours, make him say yes to your love confession.
➤ .. CAN YOU CLIMB UP THE RANKS AND TAKE THE SPOT AS THE ONE AND ONLY BELOVED DARLING OF YOUR YANDERE?
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© 2022-2024, pieroulette on [tumblr]. all rights reserved.
📫 qna can be delivered to my sideblog: @yuanvei !
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lixiesfreckless · 1 month ago
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mind games | p. js
➸ synopsis: a little playful banter and psychoanalysis never hurt anybody.
➸ starring: park jisung x reader
➸ word count: 1.3k
➸ general content: college au, house party shenanigans, kissing, sungie is exactly the smooth man I know he could be if he didn't get flustered every 0.2 secs-
➸ warnings: alcohol consumption
➸ rating: 15+
➸ author’s note: I've literally had this in the drafts for MONTHS sorry for keeping park jisung content from tumblr, that should be a crime punishable by firing squad-
♫ this fic has a soundtrack! it's empty cups by charlie puth put it on pUT IT ON
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You don't know what's making you more drunk; the alcohol or the man in front of you.
You've been watching his dark hooded eyes gaze at you this whole conversation, something that should feel casual, but with no one else on the couch, feels more intimate than you would have expected. And try as you might, you can't ignore the deep timbre of his voice, almost reminding you of a siren in how you can barely focus on anything else. Even the loud music of the party seems to fade when your eyes naturally trace the sound to the curve of his mouth, occasionally curling on one side when he catches your eyes wandering lower.
Damn. You don't remember being this much of a lightweight.
“-but enough about my major,” he sighs, rubbing his finger absentmindedly along the trim of the couch, a gesture that definitely should not have your insides twisting into a coil. “I am becoming increasingly curious as to what yours might be.” The tilt of his lips gives away the mock sincerity he's using, a sarcastic stab to the dull nature of collegiate small talk. You fight the urge to grin, feeling like a silly teenage girl. It was only one shot of vodka, what the hell?
“Guess.” An unoriginal response, but he leans back and strokes an imaginary beard, looking to the ceiling as if he was consulting the gods of career choices.
After a moment, he snaps his fingers and points at you.
“Culinary arts?”
“Close. Psychology.”
He bursts out laughing at your blatant lie, and you don't think you've ever heard a sound more disarming.
There is no way it was just vodka in your red solo cup.
“Have you been psychoanalyzing me?” He says with a glint in his eyes as he narrows them.
“I can't help it,” you laugh.
“Tell me.” His voice was so clear despite it being barely above a whisper.
“You just want to know how you're perceived by a stranger, don't you?”
His jaw drops open in awe. “You really are a psych major, huh?” You nod your head and let a laugh slip out again.
“So what have you gathered about me then?” He leans closer again, quieting his voice even more just in case anyone could hear him over the raging bass of the speakers.
“Well for one, you’re quiet,” you begin, and you wait for him to open his mouth(probably to argue that that’s obvious) to continue, “but it’s not because you’re shy. You’re reserved, probably choosing to keep to yourself in public situations because you don’t crave social interaction.”
His tongue pushes the inside of his cheek, fighting a smile, and you have to digest the butterflies in your stomach to keep going.
“And you’re observant, which is pretty common amongst introverted…?” you wait for him to confirm your guess with a nod, “Right. Introverted reserved guys that get caught people watching at parties.”
“I was not!” He argues, scrunching his nose in defiance.
“How’d you know what was in my cup then?”
“Oh that?” He nods his head over to the strawberry blonde that has the kitchen on lock, entertaining practically every girl within earshot of him. “Jaemin makes the same drink for every new girl he meets.”
You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed. “A vodka cranberry?”
“With a splash of lime,” he adds, rolling his eyes. “He insists it elevates the drink.”
“Does he know it’s a house party?"
“Shh, he doesn’t need to know that.”
You’re both laughing, with heads so close that if it weren’t for the decibel levels of the party, you’d be sweating buckets at his proximity.
“You’re good though,” he says, sighing, and when he sees your confused stare he elaborates, “your psychoanalysis, I mean. That was pretty spot on.” You shake your head, waving him off with your free hand.
“That was nothing– I’d rather see you try,” you subtly challenge, raising your cup back to your lips.
“Oh yeah?”
You raise your eyebrows, as if you were daring him to try and figure you out.
He leans back from you, now gazing at you thoughtfully as he crosses his arms across his chest. Immediately you feel warm, clearly unprepared for having this much attention on you, let alone his. Your outfit was nothing unusual for a college party– just a short dress you felt confident in paired with a shrug that matched your sneakers –and you smirk to yourself knowing that the only piece of your personality he could derive from your clothes was well out of sight.
“I think you have a lot of secrets,” he says suddenly, meeting your eyes and leaning in close again. There was a lilt to his voice; was he teasing?
“Doesn’t everyone?” You ask, attempting to get him to elaborate.
“No, you’re probably a vault now that I think about it,” he chuckles, eyes wandering down to your neck as he eyes the locket necklace hanging just above your collarbones. “And assuming you want to go into a career where you help people, you’re always giving advice and listening to others, but don’t bother bothering others with your problems.”
He hit the nail on the head so hard you’re practically drooling.
“Who are you, seriously,” you laugh, feeling ridiculously exposed.
“Park Jisung, creative writing,” he says, swirling his hands and giving a mock bow, and you playfully slap his hand away. “How’s your back?”
“Sorry?”
“Your back. You know, doesn’t it hurt from carrying the weight of your friends’ trauma?”
When was the last time you laughed this much? “Not nearly as much as writer’s block.”
He scoffs, holding a hand against his hoodie and leaning back as if you’ve delivered a fatal blow. Which you probably did, to his ego. “So she plays dirty. I should have seen that coming.”
“Careful, I know how to weaponize words.”
“Well that makes two of us,” he muses, leaning close enough so his voice is clear again. “I’m also good at telling people what they wanna hear.”
“Is that so?” You bend down and leave your solo cup on the floor, no longer interested in its contents. “What do you think I wanna hear then?”
He pauses, probably weighing the risk of voicing his next thought.
“Mmmm…something like how from the moment I saw you at the bar, I knew I couldn’t leave this party without your number,” he says, fighting a smirk as he lifts a hand to his face to hide his bashful expression.
“Oh really,” you laugh, mentally thanking the low light in the room for hiding the blush coloring your cheeks. He wasn’t wrong though, you won’t let him leave without your digits in his phone.
Your gaze flickers down to his pouty lips, hoping he’ll pick up what you’re putting down. ”Anything else?”
“I think…” he says slowly, leaning in just enough so his intentions are clear as day, “you want me to say that I wanna try that vodka cranberry.”
“With lime,” you add, eyelids dropping as his face inches closer to yours. “The lime is essential.”
“Right. Can’t forget that.”
He smiles right when his lips touch yours, and the action has your skin nearly bursting into flames before he finally commits to the kiss.
Pillowy and soft, his kiss is slow and sensual against your lips, and immediately you feel so dizzy that you brace a hand on his shoulder to steady yourself, which unintentionally pulls him closer. The second kiss is deeper as a result, and the buzz in your fingertips is not from the alcohol, you’re sure.
Pulling away with a smile on his lips, Jisung watches your reaction carefully, and you hope that you don't look half as flustered as you feel with his face still close to yours.
“Riddle me this, psych major,” he says, eyes flickering around your face, “can you tell me what I’m thinking right now?”
You don’t even have to think twice; following his gaze was enough of an indication.
Somehow, you find it in yourself to giggle amongst the tension. “You want to get out of here?”
“Well,” he grins, tilting his head towards the door and offering a hand to you, “since you’re asking…”
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧
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orimuraa · 1 month ago
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༘⋆📼˚ ༘ Cookin like a chef I'm a foive star michelin - OT7
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(synopsis) 💬 enhypen teaching you their favorite things ✎ ⋆⑅˚₊
ot7 enhypen x fem!reader 💬 flufff 💬 petnames, kisses, headcanon💬 maybe idol sunoo and riki in theirs? 💬 wc 703
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𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승
gaming
"baby!! i'm gonna teach you how to game so we can play together in the future!"
would most likely be super random and just pop up out of nowhere, begging for you to learn how to play
of course you couldn't say no, so you ended up on the sofa with hee instructing you how to move your character
heeseung would be super patient but also would get super stressed if you missed something or died in the game
it turned out to be a very fun (but loud) mini date with hee, learning how to play his favorite video games
now you too play league together almost every night
���𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성
cooking
jay would definitely be so patient
even if you could or could not cook, he would still go very slowly with you, making sure you got down all the steps
he loved being able to share his hobby with you and especially teach it to you
"mrs. park is now officially joining me in the kitchen! i guess you're now chef park as well"
while the two of you would cook, he would come up from behind you and just wrap his arms around you, planting small kisses on your neck while watching you cook
now, you and jay would just have cooking dates, making food for him and the rest of the members
𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤
soccer
we all know jakey LOVES soccer
so...
why not teach it to you? his most favorite person ever? (sorry ni-ki)
he would plan out a whole day to take you out to the park and teach you how to play
he would try not to let his competitiveness get in the way and be as patient as possible with you
"you're doing great sweets!"
kisses you every time you shoot and score a goal
so now, expect a lot of soccer games with our jayla
𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈
ice skating
is this even a question? of course this man would teach you ice skating!!
it was his first ever love and so why not share it with the current love of his life?
if you would be nervous, he would take your hand in his and hold it reassuringly the whole time while teaching you
at first, you would be a bit wobbly and definitely relied on the wall a bunch
but then you started to get the hang of it, skating by sunghoon's side
you would hold hands while skating and just enjoying the feel
now that you know how to skate, skating dates are a must
𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - 김선우
singing
sunoo is blessed by the vocal gods so he thinks it's very suiting to teach you how to sing
he would be like your personal vocal coach!
would let you choose your own song but would highly encourage an enhypen song
he would praise your voice a BUNCH and say so many sweet comments :(((
kisses for after you hit high notes cuz damn girl, you talented!
you two are now the vocally blessed couple frfr
𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원
strawberries with chocolate
jungwon isn't known to be the best cook, but he does know how to make killer strawberries with chocolate!
and since it's his favorite food ever, he MUST make it with you!
you would both be in the kitchen, giggling so much as the two of you spread chocolate all over the place
the strawberries would turn out great but the kitchen is left a mess....
but eh, whatever...
jungwon just loved teaching you his top secret recipe for his famous ✨strawberry with chOcoLaTe✨
𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力
dancing
it doesn't matter if you can or can't dance, riki just wants to teach you the choreo for all of enhypen's comebacks!!
he loved being able to have all in favorite things in one moment!
you and dance ^3^
would be so patient with you if you didn't get down the moves super fast and would break them down super slowly for you <3
the two of you would end super sweaty and out of breath but the finished result is beautiful
it depends if fans know you two are dating, but if they do, riki would post a video of you doing the challenge with him <33
kisses after each dance session is a must
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tysm my baby jaxi for the amazing idea!! saur cute to write!! if you enjoyed, please reblog and like! i really appreciate it <333
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films
⚘. Perm taglist: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jongbean
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whore-ibly-hot · 2 months ago
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How would Mr. Critch, Mr. Murphy, Evan, and Carter react to Y/n getting sick?
(love your boarding school btw❤️)
(also I'm sick with a cold😫)
ARGHAHAHAHGG7RURH I LOVE SICK FICS!
Mr. Critch: He'd be extremely cross with you, what nerve of you to skip his class, is it because you think your special, being the head masters kid? He pulls Harrison aside, and demands the boy tell him why you aren't present. When Harrison explains, he scolds him harshly for not having you 'quarantined'. He quickly moves you to the nurses ward, wanting you to be away from contaminating others and full focused on making up the work you are missing. Still, he's oddly doting. He makes sure you're eating healthy, checking your fever and assuring you stay alongside him. He wants you obedient. He knows what's best, just let him treat you. He'll keep track of all your medicines, and the moment you're better he promises you can go back to your room with Harrison. He enjoys this quiet time with you, and a part of him, the one who reads to you while you try and sleep, wishes to imagine this moment as domestic.
"The fever should be breaking soon, it's okay." He dabs at your forehead. "I'll find a way to get you cleaned up after. I promise." He assures.
Carter: Much like Mr. Critch, he's strict about what you can do. As class president, it's his duty to prevent an outbreak. He'll bring you to the nurses office, and ensure you keep up with your studies. He's more condescending, constantly reminding you of how kind he's being, taking time out of his day to care for you when he could be working. You should be able to care for yourself, he'd say, but when you'd send him away, he'd refuse to go. He takes a little extra time 'diagnosing' you, it would help him for biology class, he claimed. He'd run his hands over your neck and shoulders, touching your chest and working his way down. He'd gently feel your head for fever.
"What?" He scoffs, looking at you with annoyance. "The nurse is far too busy to give you the treatment you need, I'm making sure you aren't worsening. Lift your shirt a bit, let's just continue the exam."
Evan: He's pissed. He just got out of a great fucking game, and you weren't even in the crowd, not even for Harrison. His cock was aching, he'd planned to drag you to the after party and get his dick into you, but you didn't show. He'll practically kick down your door, and he's quick about it once he realizes you're sick. He doesn't want Harrison being a bitch and trying to keep you in his room. He gets you to his dorm, gives you some cough syrup and an edible he snagged from Pez, to keep you mellow. If he can't fuck you, he's at least going to keep you around. You're still got, even with a red face and stuffy nose. He won't exactly be doting, you'd have to ask two or three times before he'd get you anything but water, but he does like the feeling of control he's got over you. He'd put on a movie and keep you on his lap, assuring you he's not gonna get sick. Let him kiss you while your sleepy, let him grope you while he changes you from your uniform to one of his oversized jerseys. And most importantly, he expects you to care for him when he gets sick from swapping spit with you.
"God, you're burning up. Good thing I brought you in here, huh? Wouldn't want that shit head roommate leaving you to suffer alone in your room when you got a big strong stud here to look after your sick ass." He groans, adjusting you so your head lays across his chest.
Mr. Murphy: Absolute caring bear man, you're immediately moved to wherever you feel safest, preferably his apartment at the school, but the nurses office or your own dorm works. If you choose his apartment, he'll be thrilled at spending the time with you, even though seeing you as a sick little thing makes his chest ache. He'd stand over the stove for hours, digging through old recipe cards from his mom. He's usually more of a meat and potatoes guy, but he'll try his mommas soup and roll recipes, just for you. He makes sure you take your medicine, but nothing you don't want to take. He refuses to let you think about your school work, and insists he'll excuse you and talk to Critch (he thinks that guy has a major stick up his ass). He's got the coziest place by far, thick quilts and a cozy plaid couch.
"Easy, kid, easy." You're desperate to chug down the soup, but he's pacing you. "If you do throw up cause of this bug you've got, that's fine, but I'd rather my cooking not be the cause. You've got all the time in the world to eat it, and I'll always make more if you want." He takes a spoonful from his bowl. "Don't make me feed ya now." He teases.
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argisthebulwark · 4 months ago
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Pretty Please?
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summary: Asking them to let you tie a bow around their bicep💕 gn reader, no gendered pronouns or y/n used. feat: Farkas, Vilkas, Brynjolf, Miraak, Mercer warnings: some swearing, unserious threats (Mercer) masterlist
"Oh hell yeah." Farkas isn't ashamed to admit that he flexes just a little when you wrap the cute ribbon around his bicep. He loves the excited gleam in your eye and the shameless way your hands linger on his muscles even when the task is complete. "Now what?" He laughs, enjoying the satisfied smile on your face. "You keep it there." "For how long?" "Until it falls off, I guess." You shrug, allowing his arms to wrap around you. Farkas can't help himself from drawing closer to you, there's something magnetic about being in your presence. Any silly little joke is worth seeing you smile. "What if it breaks?" "How would it break?" Oh, you've played right into his game. Farkas flexes his triceps, feeling the flimsy ribbon strain and snap around his muscles. He adores the pout you force to cover up the clear amusement when you pluck the pink fabric from his arm. "You just wanted to show off." "C'mon, tie another one. I promise to leave it all day." Of course he's true to his word. Farkas double checks your knot on the second bow, strangely invested in this one staying as long as possible. He's thrilled to talk to the new recruits about his lovely partner who'd placed it there, fingers brushing the soft fabric sentimentally each time he thinks of you.
Vilkas grumbles something under his breath, eyes never straying from his book. Behind the locks of dark hair you spot his expression, noting the lack of real annoyance. Fighting back a grin you play along with his obligatory protests. "It's just a cute little bow." "What purpose does it serve?" "I can ask someone else." You sigh theatrically, turning on your heel. Right on queue Vilkas huffs, a strong hand closing around your wrist and tugging you closer. "Just put it on." He growls just as you'd expected. He thinks he's so scary, but Vilkas sits eerily still and allows you to tie a pretty pink ribbon around his bicep. Despite his protests it remains there all day. One sharp glare shuts down the giggling from a group of whelps resting in the main hall, though the older Companions are harder to quiet. Farkas nearly combusts when Vilkas breezes past him without saying a word, his gleeful expression matched only by yours. After a few boring meetings you scurry down to the marketplace in search of your partner, thrilled at the sight of him pawing through bits of armor while merchants and civilians stare pointedly at your ribbon. It had started as a funny suggestion but seeing him now makes your heart melt. Fully aware that you're killing his tough persona, you skip closer until Vilkas' large hand instinctively reaches for you. He continues haggling with the merchant, seemingly unaware of the pink ribbon flapping in the gentle afternoon breeze. "You doin' this for all the lads?" Brynjolf smirks, holding his arm out to you. "Why?" You hum, so carefully tying a perfect bow over his muscled arm. He isn't sure why you've chosen to add a pink ribbon to his armor but for you he'd do anything. "Would that make you jealous?" "Oh, desperately." He deadpans, enveloping you in his arms. Brynjolf relaxes when you brush through his hair, grateful for the distraction from the endless stacks of paperwork towering on his desk. "Just you, Bryn." You assure him, adjusting the bow until it's perfect. "Thank the gods for that - but did ya have to choose such a bright color, love?" "Some of the recruits have been eyeing you a bit too much for my liking." You admit, sinking deeper into his touch. "Had to stake my claim." "I live and breathe for you, love." From a man who's spent decades lying and stealing, those are the truest words he's ever spoken. Brynjolf loves the excited way you fuss at his bow, ensuring it will stay in place. "What if I get called on a job? This frilly pink'll surely get me caught." "Good thing you're the best there is." "Aye, love. Got that right."
"Absolutely not." Miraak lies, resolve already cracking. He can never say to no to you for long. "Why not?" "Why should I allow this?" "I think you'll look cute." He groans at your words, fully aware that he can not resist that sweet tone of your voice. Dropping whatever tome he'd been reading for far too long he allows you to crawl into his lap. It's painfully difficult to not just give in to you. Miraak knows that his intimidating persona is all but shattered in your presence but that does not stop him from grasping at its last remaining shreds when he can. "I have slain thousands. I could end you with a word. I am not cute." "Fine." You huff, still clutching the frilly piece of ribbon. "You're pretty, is that better?" "It is not." He grumbles, putting up no fight when your fingers dance up his arm. "Would this please you?" "Greatly." His heart swells at that smile, the one you've only shown him. To the rest of Tamriel you are a being of myth, the Last Dragonborn, the only one who holds the world's fate in the palm of your hands. You could save or condemn continents with a word. Yet here you sit, face cupped in Miraak's gloved hands and pouting over a cute pink ribbon. He sighs, unable to maintain the act any longer. "As you wish, my Dragon."
"Try it and I'll gut you." Mercer grunts, content to ignore your request - until he sees the disappointment shimmering in your eyes. That excited smile fades and your hands fall to your sides and oh, the guilt kicks his ass. He turns behind the desk, disgusted by how badly be wants to please you. Wordlessly, he raises his left arm. He glares down at the list of recently recovered oddities without absorbing any information when you happily bounce closer, touch featherlight as you tie the scrap of fabric around his arm. "You markin' me for some sort of hit?" He snarks, attempting to distance himself from the sheer pleasure of you leaning so close to him. "There's easier ways to kill you, honey." Your voice is light, unaffected by his refusal. "I'm goin' away on a job for a while, I just figured you'd think of me when you saw this." Mercer grunts noncommittally once more, swallowing the words threatening to escape - you think he requires a silly bow to think of you? Every moment you're away from the Cistern he's worrying over your safety, counting the hours the job should take until his chest is tight. He doesn't mention it again, though after your departure he catches a few other thieves snickering behind their hands. He strides through the Flagon without looking at them, summoning the most cutting voice he can before speaking. "Say another word and you won't live to see sunrise."
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opal-owl-flight · 3 months ago
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can I ask about the poster "agent 3" kids story?
Yes you can and here it all is!! Presenting…
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tldr: She comes from a family of big name actors in the industry, and shes been raised from hatching to continue their legacy. Its…a lot of pressure to put on a kid, especially one who just wants to make her (impossible to satisfy) family proud. Despite being surrounded by impossible standards, the fakest friends chosen for her, being given everything she can ever want (except what she really needs), and putting on a hundred masks for everyone in her life for survival’s sake in a cutthroat industry, she chooses to be kind.
more details under the cut!!
Her name is Sariwa, which means “fresh” . Named for her spring green tentacles and as a blessing from her parents that shed stay youthful, beautiful. a hope that she would be seen and be adored (as freshness implies coolness/popularity in sploonworld).
Shes hatched into the acting industry, with both parents being big in the industry. From hatching she was expected, trained to be an actor like her mother is. The media adores them, this “sweet little family”, but no one knows how nefarious everything is when the cameras are off.
The dad is neglectful, disappearing into meetings most of the time. The mom is a helicopter parent to make up for it. Pointing out every flaw that Sariwa apparently has in either performance or appearance. Never giving praise. Except when she performs “well enough” on stage. This instills in the child this need to make them proud. to…to make everyone happy. She becomes someone whose dependent on other peoples’ praise to function.
Shes given everything else, dont get me wrong. Every material thing she’ll ever need. all the big popular “friends” chosen for her. But…shes not allowed to turf. yknow. biggest event in an inkling’s life here in Inkopolis. and shes not allowed to go to school either. shes too busy memorizing lines for adverts or-
The second she turned 14, she was chosen as the lead role for Cuttlegear’s brand new show abt Agent 3. She looked exactly like the legendary hero, according to the sources. All her time went into this project. Thankfully, unlike at home…her co-actors were very kind. Her parents didnt choose for her this time. She was meeting actual people who dont put on masks beyond their job. the actor they got for Cuttlefish, in particular, is a very kind soul, defending her when the directors get too pissy with her performance. (Those are the only people she fears, tbh shes fearful of most authority figures.)
*Cuttlefish is also depicted as kind and supportive in the show. and in most games. Unlike the real Cuttlefish, which is kind of a loony old man who pushes ideas on young inklings. He still gives more support and kindness that 3s dad ever gave, but thats only RELATIVE to how little he gave in the first place. One can only imagine the longing this inspires in the real 3.
Sariwa…since shes hatched shes had to put on an act. Be the perfect little doll for her parents. For the world. But her friends here, they inspired her to…have fun with what shes doing again. To take off the mask (mostly beyond the clock). Breathe life in the character when she can. (But lets be real…shes getting 3 spot on with how many parallels they have with each others lives.)
But what is she beyond the mask, her role? She wasnt allowed to do anything beyond this. She was forced to depend on her abusive parents and their associates. She cant live alone beyond them. Not allowed to turf bc shes “a prim and proper young lady; above such violent drivel that only delinquents participate in”. They gesture to 3, whos one of the faces Squidforce uses in their promotions, and say (ironically.) that she must not become that. Face ripped to shreds and eye mangled.
No one knows they got that from the real war that Sariwa is pretending to show.
The show does its best to be an accurate telling. Child friendly, to a point. Horrifying things still get kept in somewhat. Things that will horrify a child on stage.
If Sariwa is terrified of the props, can you imagine how it was for 3?
————————
And once she realizes all of this. Once she gets out of this situation thanks to Callie, Marie, and 3 themself. Does she feel guilt? Guilt for depicting the horrors in a way that glorifies it instead? A part of a project that aims to make people complacent to the real horrors that churned below?
There is one thing Sariwa feels about 3, that I am aware of rn.
“Im glad, that out of every story I couldve told, Im glad it was yours.”
Just like 8, she sung this tale in her hearts. Just like 8, she used this to break out of this terrible situation, answering the call of the ones who promised her safety. A better life. Like the way she stage broke through that prop in the choreographed Octavio fight, she broke through the influence of those around her.
*She actually went off-script a bit in that scene. After she beat down Octavio, she held out her hand. Mostly to help the actor up. But then, without realizing, she spoke, she spoke of making things better between the nations. That maybe he doesnt have to steal the zapfish anymore.
Her time with the octoling actors, and hearing the stories from the ex-octarians, made her aware and know the fact that theyre people too. The directors kept it in. They knew that if they released this as they have planned it, there will be fuckign riots from the ex-octarians or the Inkling “sympathizers”.
She saw the value this story held, despite the subliminal messaging that she wished wasnt implemented. That she wished she wasnt a part of. She saw that its a tale of hope. A tale that inspires one to become the hero of their own life. A tale that inspires one to make the world a better place.
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So she was hatched and raised to make people smile, singing her songs and dancing their dances. Much like the clan singer that was 4, except the tradition is much more healthy compared to industry standard. And she didnt become as mean as the people around her, at least not internally. She put on a mean mask but she felt the void within. When she was given kindness for a long enough time, she put her walls down.
And just like the real 3, she underwent through the horrors of expectations she had to hold up, and trying to make uninterested parents proud. They dont see her as their daughter, shes just a means to an end. She had to wear a hundred masks to survive and it made her lose her sense of identity. She had to be mature, she had to take the shitty behavior of adults who expect her to be like one too. It made her lose grip of who she is beyond this role. Hell, they made her so dependent on their handouts that shes not sure she can exist beyond this hell. Much like how 3 struggles to know a life beyond their duty.
And much like 8, she used the story she was telling to break out and get herself in a better situation. She met with the real Agents 1 and 2 (without her knowledge) and asked. Begged. for help, after her show ended. (3 also kind of pointed the two in her direction. Bc cod knows how horrifying this industry is. Shes lucky she didnt get any of the grosser horrors ~~its bc I didnt feel comfortable writing such topics~~)
And then shes faced with the same problem all the real legends faced. What comes after the end? When the dust clears, what happens next? She wasnt given a damn choice, she wasnt allowed to try to learn things beyond this role. to be beyond an imagined agent 3. a soldier for the screen. who is she now, that shes out of that battlefield?
little does she realize that the real 3s asking the same question for themself.
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ataraxiaspainting · 11 months ago
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Careless Whisper.
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Yan Gojo x F Reader.
Synopsis: After a long game of playing hard to get, Satoru finally gets you to go on a date with him. But you didn’t expect him to choose a farmer’s market of all places for it to happen.
Warnings: Yandere themes, threats of kidnapping, manipulation, and stalking.
Continuation of There is an Uproar.
Word Count: 1.6k.
Ten Songs Like This Piece:
This Could Be Us by Rae Sremmurd
Get Up by NewJeans
Supermassive Black Hole by Muse
Bathroom by Montell Fish
Hotel by Montell Fish
Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock)
After Hours by The Weeknd
Government Hooker by Lady Gaga
Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys
The Walls by Chase Atlantic
“You’re killing me; don’t you see that you’re the winner of the game?” – Benét, Killing Eve
*~*~*~*
You hold onto the basket like a lifeline. 
You grasp the handle so tightly it leaves a mark on your palm and the inner parts of your fingers, and you can practically feel splinters impaling them.
They say the devil takes on many forms, and if it were said that the devil could take the form of a white-haired man with sunglasses in whatever religious texts you were given in your childhood, you would believe that without question.
The identity of whoever or whatever forced you on this little outing is not human. You know this. He can’t be. If he is, your view of humanity will decrease tenfold from where it once was.
Should you pray to all the higher powers and heavens above that he is or is not?
“Come on, let’s get moving!” They say monsters speak in either honeyed, calm, and sweet voices or grimy and croaky ones; but this one is neither. “I kinda want to pet a chicken.”
*~*~*~*
“There’s my girlie!” 
You were not surprised in the slightest when Satoru pulled up to your door with a Rolls-Royce. At the sight and the called-out nickname, you even roll your eyes and cross your arms, much to the driver’s amusement. The car is adorned with lamb's wool carpets, embellished with stunning wood and milled aluminum accents, and encased in box grain leather. Only the highest quality materials for the all-high and mighty Satoru Gojo. It is the topmost privilege for a mere mortal like you to even see it. 
“You ready?” As you ever will be.
“Yeah.” Your response is quick and to the point. “You still haven’t even told me where we are going for this… date.”
The smirk that appears on his face instantly gives you the impulse to slap it off. But he is stronger, and will most likely not let you, because he is the one in control and not you. So, as he beckons you closer, you close the car door behind you and sit down on the leather seat. The drive to hit him still stands for as long as you anticipated. You just look out the window and hope it goes away.
It is nice outside. Though if Satoru’s foot was not on the peddle, you would have liked it more.
It’s spring now. The grass is bright green and tall, and you could swear that you can smell it. Tiny circles of flowers are there now and then. Dandelions and daffodils mostly. You could count them if Satoru was not driving so damn fast you think he is speeding.
He put your purse and phone in the back seat because, of course, he would want no distractions to stop you from paying attention to him.
He starts talking about how nice your dress looks and how happy he is to have you as his girlfriend.
You want to puke.
It would take at least two weeks for the smell to go away. He would have to clean it up because you would refuse to. Any damage done to his ego no matter how small is a win in your book.
You could picture it now. Satoru, long plastic gloves on his hands and wearing an apron, scrubbing the expensive carpet stained with bile and looking disgusted with you. Maybe he would give up on you then.
You almost laugh at the thought but decide against it when he starts talking with a smile that does not exactly reach his eyes.
*~*~*~*
He is tailing behind you like a grim reaper.
The black turtleneck he is wearing you suppose could count as a cloak. His face is white enough to be a skull, his hair helping you see it in your mind. All the expectations he has for you could be considered a guillotine’s blade that is ready to be let loose at any moment. Maybe a scythe. Don’t lose your head. That is what you keep telling yourself as you go down the aisles of sewn aprons and freshly baked bread and chickens wandering not too far off from the butcher’s cutting board. Don’t lose your head.
So, you keep walking to not be the victim of Satoru’s wrath.
“They’re so cute!” He exclaims, bending down to get a better look at the rabbits that are trapped within the confines of the barbed fence. “I just want to take one home! It would be like having another you around!”
His cooing makes you want to stab your eardrums out with the plastic fork you were given along with a free sample of chicken pot pie.
But you can’t ignore him either, he yearns for your responses like an addict.
“I’m not a rabbit.” You roll your eyes. Satoru responds by turning his head at you and then turning it again to make a visibly confused expression. “I’m a human. Not a pet. Not something to… lock up.” As his countenance turns somber and a hint of amusement lingers, the playful aura dissipates. Your breathing hastens, and your heart races. Perhaps voicing your thoughts was an ill-advised choice. Maybe an alternate utterance would have been wiser. Any alternative, for that expression, is one you wish to never witness again.
As you struggle to catch your breath, Satoru's steady grip on your shoulder brings a faint awareness to your hyperventilation. He calls out your name repeatedly, trying to reach through the haze of tears in your eyes. However, his words offer no solace or relief.
“Come on! Of course, you are.”
Maybe you will puke after all. But not on purpose like you originally intended.
His smile feels like a stab to the chest. Everything he does feels that way.
“...What do you mean?” What exactly does he have planned for you?
How far back do they go? Days, months, years, decades?
“You’ll see. You’ll like them, I know you will.” His hand clasps over your free one like a noose. “Either when you first know them or further down the line. I’ll be with you every step of the way no matter what you think. But just know I only have your best intentions at heart, okay? I can promise you that at least.”
“...Mmhmm. Let’s just… get moving.” Once again, you are off within a labyrinth of stalls.
You liked farmer’s markets during the warmer months, with your family and friends during school breaks and vacation times. Is that why he chose this place? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he also likes them. However, you cannot process the words Satoru and farmer’s market in the same sentence.
You pictured him bringing you to some nightclub and forcing you to dance under disco lights and loud music until you nearly faint from exhaustion. As much as you don’t want to admit it, maybe this is the better option.
You can’t imagine any other option. It could be worse. Those threats of his can easily become true, he could just lock you up in his penthouse and refuse to let you leave.
So, you don’t complain. You don’t want Satoru to get upset, even if you haven’t seen him that way.
“We’ll eventually move in together. Get married further down the line. Maybe have a kid or two, if we are really up to it, though I don’t mind if it is just the two of us.”
For once, you hope Satoru chooses his initial thought. You don’t want to bring any child into this hell.
“Romantic, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
His finger traces the bridge of your nose downward and the tip of it presses on its end.
“Boop!”
“Sigh…”
He does it again.
“So cute…”
“Let’s just continue.” You try so hard not to seethe. “I heard at this specific market they have good lentil soup. Focaccia too. Let’s go.”
He nods.
“Okay! We’re off!”
There is no escape, is there?
“It should be by the coffee stalls if I remember correctly.” You don’t get to finish because of course Satoru found a brand new interest to fixate on.
Aprons. Specifically, the pink lacy one that he is holding gently like a baby. “[First]! Look! You should wear it. It suits you!”
You shake your head immediately. To this, Satoru frowns. You’re hungry after being hauled around from stall to stall for the past hour or so. Can’t he understand that?
He holds the apron up closer to your face.
You turn away from it. Satoru only puts it closer. He really can be stubborn. That is what got you in this situation in the first place. As stubborn as you sometimes are, you can hardly compare to him. But that is with most things. 
Money, power, influence, he will always have more than you will, won’t he? Damn it. No escape. Not from him.
Not from him.
But you can try, can’t you? You can at least try. “Come on! It would look so cute on you.” You shake your head. His frown only deepens and he sighs.
Then he shoots you a look again. The look demanding of you to be good or else. The look that gets you to obey him every time he uses it. Every time he puts his foot down. 
Don’t lose your head.
Evade the blade.
“Good,” He says, handing you the apron with the smile you unsurprisingly prefer over the hellish expression he just showed you. “Go.”
You do.
Damn it. As long as Satoru keeps toying with you, you won’t ever be able to find peace. No escape. Damn it.
You slip the apron on as he watches, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
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blueishspace · 29 days ago
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Scott says Pearl's memory is selective so I rewatched her DL pov.
And he's kinda right? But also is doing much of the same thing.
Part 1/3
Episode 1 p.1 Communication and Strategy.
Let's start from the basic thing everyone even non fans with friends that are into the series know. Scott abandoning Pearl.
...
Which is something he doesn't do, not really at least, that would imply that they were allied in some way and he left. He might be her soulmate but that does not mean he has to team with her. By all counts It's simply a game mechanic and nothing more, she isn't entitled to an alliance with him. Sure there's an expectation for it to happen but it is not a rule, you can't abandon something you never had.
What about Last Life? It doesn't matter, not when it comes to Pearl, alliances almost never stick trough different seasons. It matters to Cleo and Scott: One of the reasons Scott and Cleo teamed up was because in Last Life they didn't have the chance to be in the alliance for as much as they wanted since Cleo had died and gone to red and then Scott went to red soon after Cleo went back to yellow. It was an alliance decided and agreed upon based on the fact they both felt robbed by the previous season. But the same doesn't apply to Pearl, it could have had she met them and talked to them about it but she didn't and so they likely interpreted it as her not caring about it.
Pearl interprets it as abandonment because ahe came in late, she doesn't understand the way the life series works yet. She expected the alliance and friendship to last from the previous season, it is not her fault either. It is entitlement born not out of selfishness but by a lack of communication.
Pearl THINKS Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss has value because she sees Scott and Cleo together but she lacks the context for that and ends up using it as a reason fro Scott to not reject her, at the same time Scott feels that Pearl doesn't care and is expecting his loyalty because of a game mechanic neither has control over and even worse, at least by his standards, an old alliance. He has a very weird definition of what loyalty is but it's something he cares about strongly and it something vital to his character.
And Scott is definitely is hurt by Pearl's actions and It's really really obvious: Scott is a man of logic, he is rational, he sees he only has a life left and decides not to do a boogie kill because he might just die and go to red anyway, he sacrifices himself again and again to give his teammates better chances, ge does not care... But there he does something strategically stupid, not teaming with the person who's health he shares. He is emotionally hurt by what he percieves to be Pearl's lack of care, this is the first time since third life he acts out of emotion over logic. From Cleo's pov we see how much he panic when he realizes he's bonded to Pearl and that she is in the nether.
And even when Scott comes back to say something extra he doesn't target Pearl, he uses the horn to annoy Martyn. From his pov it is Pearl that betrayed him but he decides to be mean to Martyn instead of her. I think this says a lot more then words van about how he viewed this thing.
Episode 1 p.2 Cleo and Martyn are assholes.
Oh boy, those two on the other hand made everything much worse for Pearl.
Martyn ACTUALLY betrayed and abandoned Pearl, unlike Scott he wa working together with her. She had reason to expect him to stick with her especially after they were both refused by their soulmate partners. But he doesn't, despite everything, despite knowing she didn't take Scott's rejection well he still leaves her alone. Pearl does not actually begin to spiral when Cleo and Scott choose eachother over their soulmates, she begins to spiral only once Martyn decides that's it better to leave, when he decides being alone is better then being with her.
And Cleo... she eggs them both Scott and Pearl on so much. Like at least Scott tries to be civil and explain himself at the start but Cleo... well she is ruder during the entire conversation.
Even worse, most of the escalation is done by Cleo and Martyn getting louder at eachother and drowning out Scott's and Pearl's arguments. If the previous part was about how Scott's and Pearl's situation happened because of miscommunication then this is to say that it happened because Cleo and Martyn made it virtually impossible for communication to actually happen.
Episode 2 p.1: Snow and Scar(s)
I think everyone knows how it wasn't Pearl that came up with the powdered snow bit, it was started by Scar as a way to mess with Grian...
And not only that. Everyone usually thinks about the homewreckers during Double Life but Scar during the season does a lot of things towards making other soulmates pair distrust eachother, he's the one that makes the chicken games and I think he knows full well what he's doing. He knows what happened to Pearl and gives her a way to make it worse knowing that she is going to use it. And she does.
It does take a bit for Scott to notice, after at first he assumes she's just walking into powdered snow by accident... it takes a bit for him to suspect but what sticks with is so much she damages him. Also Scar actively searches for him to give him the snow too which makes things way worse.
And she does a lot of damage. First 4 hearts, then another 6 hearts. She does not eat to spite Scott but this only justifies him in his mind. She justifies herself saying that he has been taking damage so It's fair. Yet when she takes a bunch of damage getting goat horns and he steps in powdered snow using THE SAME EXACT LOGIC as her she takes it personally... And that It's because It's not actually logic, It's both them justifying their actions to themselves over admitting their mistakes and doing so in the same way...
Episode 2 p.2 How it could have been resolved and yet wasn't.
Still when Scott approaches Pearl soon after he's...civil. They aren't mean to eachother, sure Pearl says she's broken hearted but she's the only one that is antagonistic about it Scott actually feels bad about Tilly dying and he tries to explain himself and tries to make small talk... And he manages it, they talk and both of them still think they are in the right but things are fixable at this point in time. Scott explains the damage he's taken and while Pearl doesn't fully believe him It's a start.
And especially Scott says that he and Cleo had bonded the last session and when Pearl says that he can bond more he says that's It's going to take time. This means Pearl still wants a chance to be on a team with Scott and Scott still doesn't hate such an idea. They are still stuck blinded in their own head but in another timeline they are on a team already from the next session.
Except Scott accidentally says "Mine and Pearl's" instead of "Mine and Cleo's" when talking about his base. And Pearl starts manically claiming their base as her own... And CLEO is the one to first say that she's insane. (Cleo: I think she's lost it. Scott: I don't think she ever had it.) And this insane thing is going to stick with Pearl for the rest of the series.
Cleo is a big part because of how she deals with both Scott's and Pearl. She is probably the person Scott trusts the most other then himself and she completely supports him, she completely agrees with him on everything he says. Scott is functionally in an echo chamber in this season. A very sassy one considering their personalities.
Cleo also worsens Pearl this session...surprisingly while trying to help. She genuinely seems to be trying, she's careful and deliberate, subtly implies she should less alone and then states that just because they aren't on the same team doesn't mean Pearl can't be with someone else. She lacks the sarcasm that's usually in her voice and she seems to be genuinely trying to get Pearl to find allies for herself and not be alone...Since her and Scott chose eachother outside the bonds she too could choose to be with who she wanted. But Pearl doesn't listen and all she gets from it is convincing herself to be even more isolated.
The last nail in the coffin has to be Ren and BigB though, they die and immediately accuse her of being a villain a demoness and sorrounded by misfortune. Scott was defensive and Martyn was evasive and Cleo was sarcastic and Scar was manipulative but out of my entire rewatch of Pearl's pov this far it was the worst moment from Pearl's perspective. The most damage done to Pearl in Double Life was given by Ren.
Episode 3 Why is it Scar again, doesn't he have better things to do?
So we have found that Pearl's spiral was started by Martyn and worsened by Scar and then cleo and then Ren and bow It's Scar's turn again. Because session 2 ends with Pearl saying she was just wanting to help and session 3 starts with Scar convincing her to be actively a threat. He manipulated her into ruining the relationship with Scott once and now he's making her become what Ren said she was. So he can sell her stuff.
Now she meets again with Cleo and Scott and well... Nothing of particular importance happens in this one. Except one thing that Scott's says. (Scott's very infamous line "It's hard but once you widdle him down to nothing it works" about Jimmy is given It's actual context and it seems to not refer to Jimmy's self esteem at all so I don't know where that came from. ) Which gives Pearl the idea to annoy Scott even more.
Also important thing that happens soon is Scott saying sorry to Pearl without any sarcasm for taking damage as an olive branch and then suddenly shutting up as he processes that Pearl just created a dirt hut on his bridge. Even he doesn't tell her to take it down but suggests talking to Cleo about it since they build it. Pearl then suggests killing Cleo and even then Scott tries to calm her down by saying she can't because she is green. Pearl actually in canon comments that Scott is really nice to her and then Ren and Martyn fake burning down her base to get her attention.
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wildernessuntothemselves · 1 year ago
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Jealousy, Jealousy... | Part 6
A/N: don't even have a summary for this. oc is in love with gyu and gyu is in love with another girl but both are virgin losers and gyu is a horndog who would let oc do what she wants to him just as long as he gets to cum.
Word count: 6.2k
Genre: Smut, angst, fluff
Warnings: fem!reader, loss of virginity, PIV sex, fingering, brief pussy licking, sub!reader, dom!yeonjun.
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Despite what Beomgyu said, he and Haeun seem to have become an item, just as you and Yeonjun are now. They’re always together, as you are with Yeonjun, and it’s like you and Beomgyu don’t even know each other anymore. He’s always hanging out with her and you’re always hanging out with Yeonjun. You hardly see Beomgyu anymore, which makes it weird the way he’s sitting on your bed, watching you get ready just like old times. 
You remember how you and he used to play a game sometimes as you got ready where you’d pick out various outfits and try them out for Beomgyu, giving him a mini-fashion show that he would narrate as if it was a football game, going on about how groundbreaking the designs are and how pretty the model (you) looks. 
He was your main supporter in going into fashion as a major. You don’t think you would’ve had the courage to do it without him. He always believed in you and stood by you even when your parents were upset at you for choosing a career with such an uncertain future. He told you that if one of you succeeds, you’ll just pull the other up too. If his music career takes off, he’ll contract you to be the creative director for the band and if your fashion career takes off, you’ll have to hire him as your model. And if you both fail…well you’ll be strippers together.
You laugh as you remember your promise and turn back towards Beomgyu, who was sitting on your bed watching you. “Hey, remember our backup plan? That we’ll make a two-man stripper show to repay our student debt?” 
But Beomgyu doesn’t share your laughter. Instead he just hums, focusing on your dress. 
“What? You don’t like it?” You ask, insecure. You’re not used to wearing something this extravagant but Yeonjun is taking you to a photography exhibition tonight and he told you it’s gonna be really fancy. 
You’re not sure if being stressed out and sweating as you try not to get judged by all those more talented and influential people is the best idea for a date but Yeonjun insisted that if you wanted to get into fashion, you have to start mingling. 
You didn’t even have a proper dress. You had to wear something you made for a fallen goddess shoot you had in mind, but by the look Beomgyu is giving you, it’s probably trash. 
"Does it matter?" He asks and you frown. "What do you mean?"
"It means that with what you're wearing, I don't even know why you’re bothering going on a date when you can just invite him over and let him fuck you now, skip the formalities." 
"You're unbelievable." You spit out, trying to hide the dread filling your chest and making you struggle to breathe. Yes, the dress was a bit more revealing than you’re used to, but it’s an art event, people wear this stuff there all the time.  
“Where did you even get this dress?” He asks in distaste and you hold your head up high. “I made it.” 
That makes him back down, his eyes visibly softening as regret shows on his face. “Oh… It’s pretty.” 
You snort in disbelief. "Why are you even here, Beomgyu?"
He shrugs. "Just watching this shitshow go down."
“Right.” You mutter bitterly, "I guess it was too much to expect you to act like a friend." 
"I am your friend.” He says as if declaring it is enough to make it true. “I'm your best friend." 
"I wouldn't be so sure."
He jumps off the bed when he hears that, quickly getting in front of you. "What does that mean?” 
"Nothing. I'm going to be late." You try to get past him but he won’t let you. "No. What do you mean by that? You said I'd never lose you."
"Yeah, that was before you transformed into this asshole who accuses me of trying to sabotage his career and calling me a slut for daring to date."
He moves back, stunned at your words, and you almost laugh. Is he really surprised? "I'm just… working through some stuff."
"Stuff? That's your excuse?" You ask incredulously and he looks away. Is “stuff” worth what he’s done to your friendship?
"It's just hard for me to see you with him." He finally admits and you sigh. Not this again. "Beomgyu, I know you’re worried about your band, but Yeonjun and I are adults, even if we break up, that doesn't mean–"
"It's not about that." He shakes his head, cutting you off. 
"Then what is it?" You ask, frustrated. Frankly, you’re at your rope’s end with his weird behavior. 
"You're too good for him."
"What?” You reel back. Now, this is new. “Is it because he sleeps around? Because we’ve talked about it and he insisted that just because he's had many casual relationships before doesn't mean he's gonna cheat on me. We've been together for a while now and he has been nothing but wonderful to me."
He really has. You don't know what's wrong with you. Why can't you love him the way you love your asshole best friend? Maybe it will come with time? You've known Beomgyu for years and your love for him didn't develop overnight. Maybe you just need to give your relationship with Yeonjun more time. 
You hope it doesn't take years to get over Beomgyu and fall in love with Yeonjun though. 
"It's not that. It's not him. You're too good for everyone." 
"Beomgyu…" You walk towards him and hold his hands. "I know you're not used to me going out with guys because, well, I've kind of lead a fairly loser-ish life--you know, you've been there– and maybe me and Yeonjun won't end up working out and maybe I'll end up hurt but I can't just be virginal forever. I have to try to find someone for me."
"But you have someone." He pulls you towards him, resting his forehead against yours as he plays with your hands. "Me." 
That hurt more than any mean thing he has ever said to you and he doesn't even mean to hurt you. He has been terrible to you all this time because he thinks you deserve more? Because he wants things to stay the way they are? That is fucking absurd and so infuriating. Why couldn't he have just told you that instead of acting like an ass? Not wanting to lose you doesn’t mean he gets to order you around. Being worried about you doesn't give him the right to treat you like a stupid slut. 
"Don't be stupid." You say harshly, making him flinch. You try again, softer this time, not letting the anger and pain through as much. "I know I have you but I need more."
"More what? Why can't things just stay the way they are? We have fun together, right? I make you laugh. I'm there for you when you're down. We've even messed around. What can he give you that I can't?" 
Love. You need love and even though Beomgyu loves you very much, it's not in the way you need.
"Beomgyu, you’re being very childish about this. We're not twelve anymore. I know you’re scared that we'll drift apart if I find someone but the only reason we’ve been drifting apart is because of your behavior. I can't keep coddling you. You may not like it because it’s only been you and I until now, but it's time for me to find an actual boyfriend instead of this–this joke I have with you." 
Maybe you’re being too harsh on him but you’re honestly too hurt to sugarcoat it anymore. And you also need to hear it yourself. What you have with Beomgyu isn't real and you need to face the fact that it will never be. "I need someone to actually love and to hold and to be my other half. Us messing around together is just that, messing around, nothing more. I need something real. You do too. I mean you're finally with the woman you've been chasing after for years. Do you really wanna throw that away just because you're scared?"
Still, seeing the way he becomes quiet after your outburst, looking away from you and not responding… maybe you could’ve been nicer about it. 
“Beomgyu…” You sigh, reaching out to turn his face towards you but he pushes your hand away, refusing to meet your gaze. 
"Go. You’re late for your date." He grits out and you look at the time. Crap. You are! 
You look at him again, seeing the tension in his jaw and shoulders, something that resembles pain etched on his features. Should you stay and work this out for him or go on your date? If you stay, you’d be choosing him yet again. If you stay then you’ll just teach him that all he needs to do is act out and you’ll cave and do what he wants. No, you need to make some changes. That’s what you promised Yeonjun when you and him decided to become exclusive. Beomgyu can’t come first anymore. 
"I have to go. Let’s talk about this later." You step back, ignoring the hurt in his eyes as you grab your bag and head for the door. 
____________________
When Yeonjun said the place was fancy, he wasn’t kidding. You’re blown away right now, surrounded by people you’ve only known about through magazine spreads and hours of admiration through the internet. You can’t believe you’re here in the same room with such talented artists and creators. 
You feast your eyes on the multiple displays from different photographers and artists, analyzing their technique, their vision, and their subject, and you’re just in awe. This is exactly where you should be, mingling with the others in your field, making connections, building a network… except you haven’t really gotten the hang of socializing yet. You’re too nervous to talk to anyone. You just stand silently next to Yeonjun as he charms his way through the crowd, joking there, throwing a compliment here or purring a small flirty line that has the other party blushing. 
He can turn it on for anyone. He’s so good you can’t help wondering where his charming nature ends and his actual affection for you begins. How do you know he’s not just charming you the same way he charms everyone else? 
“Do you like it?” Yeonjun asks, and you snap out of your thoughts. You look around to see that everyone around you has left and you’re standing alone with him. “Huh?” 
“You’ve been staring at this particular shot for a long time. Do you like it?” He laughs and you shake your head. “Not really.”
“Really? Why not? It’s well shot, the composition is good, the set design is top-notch and the clothes really complement the atmosphere.” 
“That’s all true.” You agree, and he laughs–his sweet tinkering laugh that makes you smile.  “Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t like the model. It’s obvious the photographer was going for a femme fatale look but she doesn’t deliver. She’s supposed to have the face of an angel but the aura of the devil. She has to convey the monster within but she’s so afraid of not looking pretty, it just comes across as if she’s putting on an act rather than losing herself in the madness of it.”
“You really don’t like her, huh?” He laughs, and you furrow your eyebrows. “Well, it’s not really her fault so much as it’s the fault of the photographer. They should be directing the model on how to act and correcting them when they’re doing something wrong. This model is obviously gorgeous and she has the potential in her to look fierce, but with a weak direction like this, all you get is what basically amounts to a child dressing in her mother’s clothes.” 
You hear someone huff behind you and turn around to see a very disgruntled man. “And to whom do I owe this very shrewd commentary on my work?” 
Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. 
“I–I am… I’m nobody.” You squeak, wishing the monster from the next picture over would jump out of the frame and swallow you whole right now. 
“That’s right, you are nobody.” The man haughtily agrees. 
“Hey, man, she’s just giving her opinion.” Yeonjun attempts to interject but the man pays him no mind. “I am an award winning photographer. I don’t take the juvenile half-baked opinions of nobodies. Come back when you’ve actually achieved something that could hold a candle to what I’ve done over my career. Oh no wait, you’ll never amount to anything if these are the opinions your artistically challenged brain comes up with.” 
“Hey–Yeonjun protests, a scene starting to form around you, but you quickly cut it short–the humiliation already too much for you to handle. 
“I’m sorry.” You tear up, quickly turning and running away. 
Through your tears, you can see the shocked and confused looks of the other patrons so you quickly keep your gaze to the ground until you’re out of the gallery and near Yeonjun’s car in the quiet parking lot where no one can see you cry. 
No one except Yeonjun who followed closely after you. “Wait up! Baby–Are you okay?” 
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of everyone. I’m sorry I ruined your night.” You babble, tears streaming down your face. “You shouldn’t have taken me to such a nice place. I didn’t deserve it.”
Why the hell did you even think you would ever make it in such a business. The best you’d be able to achieve is etsy store designs and wedding photographs. You’ve just messed up your first chance at making connections AND you fucked up your date with Yeonjun. You’re such a screw up. 
“Woah, calm down. You didn’t do any of those things.” He holds you in his arms and you bury your face in his shirt, seeking comfort and a place to hide from him. “Don’t lie. I ruined everything.” 
Maybe now he’ll even realize that you’re not as cool as he thought you were. That you’re not actually this artistic person he probably imagined you as and lose interest. He’d know you’re a fraud and dump you. Then you’d be left with no Beomgyu and no boyfriend. Just your loser self. 
“You didn’t. But you crying might ruin my shirt.” 
You gasp, pulling away and trying to step back but he holds you by the arms, giving you a mischievous grin. “I’m kidding. You can soak me through with tears and snot all you want.” 
“You’re an asshole.” You smack his chest, pouting. 
“Maybe. But I got you to stop crying.” He says and you frown. He actually did. While you might’ve preferred a more sweet approach to getting you to stop crying, this still worked. 
You sigh, little cries bubbling up in your chest still. “I still am sorry. You wanted to do something nice for me and I ruined it with my big mouth.” 
“No, you didn’t.” He retorts, wiping away the few stray tears still falling. “I loved hearing everything you had to say. I thought you made some really good points. He was just threatened that you could've done a way better job than he did.”
“You really think so?” You peer up at him, hopeful that he’s not just saying that to make you feel better. 
“Yes, but don’t start crying again.” He laughs, kissing the pout you answer him with. “In fact, I’m free if you ever want to try it out. And I want you to know that I take very good direction.”
There goes the flirting again. The one that makes you wonder if he’s sincere or it’s just part of his charm.  
"Yeah, we could do that." You say nervously, letting him prop your chin up to press a proper kiss onto your lips. 
“Do you wanna get something to eat?” He asks but you shake your head. “Not hungry. Too depressed.” 
“Aw, baby, do you wanna head back home with me? I can make you forget all about that asshole.” He brushes your hair out of your face, kissing you again, and you know what he’s really asking. 
You’ve already gone on a few dates with him. It’s not too soon for this. This is what people who like each other do after going on multiple dates. And if you want to get over Beomgyu, you’re going to have to completely give yourself to Yeonjun. You can’t be holding anything back in the hopes that Beomyu might want it someday. 
You put on a brave smile for Yeonjun. “Yes. Let’s head home.” 
____________________________
“Hey, you don’t have to be nervous.” Yeonjun whispers to you, feeling you tense up as he tries to push the straps of your dress down your shoulders. “You’re beautiful."
Does he really think that? You can’t be that beautiful compared to the women he’s been with. 
"Did I tell you how much I love this dress?" He asks, toying with the neckline, and you shake your head. "I love it. Makes you look like a movie star. So beautiful and sexy. Almost makes me not want to take it off."
His lips brush softly over your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake before he pulls back to look you in the eye. "But I wanna see all of you. Will you let me see you, doll?"
You nod, holding your breath as he pulls the dress down your chest, kissing every inch of skin on the way until your breasts are bare and his plush lips are wrapped around your nipple. 
“Yeonjun…” You whine, grabbing onto his hair as he kisses and kneads your breasts, slowly but surely turning you on. 
“Does it feel good, doll?” Yeonjun smirks, one of his hands going between your legs to rub your pussy. 
“Yes. Please.” 
“I got you, baby.” His mouth moves down your body as he pulls your leg apart. 
“Missed this.” He murmurs, reaching your pussy and giving it a wide lick as his finger prods at your opening and pushes through. “Oh, that went in easy.” 
“I… I finger myself.” You admit bashfully, covering your face with your hands, feeling embarrassed for some reason but Yeonjun just laughs and leans up to remove your hands and kiss you. “That’s okay, makes my job easier.” 
You give him a confused look but quickly realize what he means when he presses another finger into you, moving both of them in and out to loosen your pussy. 
“See? All good. I’ll have you fucked open for me in no time.” He drawls, staring you down confidently as he works another finger into you. You tense up on that last one so he uses his thumb to rub your clit to get you to relax a bit. “There you go. Open up for me, doll. Let yourself feel good.” 
You’re trying to, you really are. You’re trying to focus on the moment, the burning feeling moving up your body from your pussy that just needs to be quenched. 
He’s doing it so well, hitting all the right spots, completely confident and self-assured. He knows exactly what he’s doing. No clumsiness. No unchecked lust. No uncontainable eagerness. Just steady, purposeful movements that touch you places you didn’t even know you were sensitive. 
“Feels good.” You slur, pressing your pussy further into his hand, grinding against his palm to seek more of that mind-numbing stimulation. “More.” 
“I know, baby. But let me take it slow for you.” 
You shake your head. You don’t want it slow. You want him to lose himself in you. “No. Want you now.” 
“Doll–”
“Fuck me, Yeonjun. Make me yours.” Please. Please make me yours. Make me stop thinking about him. 
Are you doing this for all the wrong reasons? Maybe, but how else are you supposed to get over Beomgyu? Don't they say the best way to get over a guy is to get under another one? Well, you'll just have to test that theory. 
Yeonjun relents, shushing your needy mewls with kisses as he takes his hand away. “Hush, doll. I’ll fill you up again in a second.” He undoes his pants and pushes them off along with his underwear before grabbing you by the thighs and lining himself up with your pussy. 
“You ready, baby?” He asks and you just stare at his cock. 
Has Beomgyu already fucked her? He must have. He’s so needy to get his dick wet that he’d never miss up the chance. 
You look up at Yeonjun. “Do it. Fuck me.” 
Ok, so maybe you fingering yourself hadn’t fully prepared you for this. Maybe you should’ve taken a page out of Beomgyu’s book and gotten yourself a sex toy–a dildo to practice with before the real thing. 
Thankfully, Yeonjun takes it slow despite your earlier demands, thrusting into you shallowly, letting you get used to his length bit by bit. 
“Relax for me, doll.” He purrs gently, kissing all over your face as his hands massage your thighs, doing his best to get you to loosen up. 
“Yes, Junnie.” You whimper, head falling back as you will your body to relax. You hear a soft chuckle coming from him. “Junnie? That’s cute.” 
You blush as you realize what you’d said. You couldn’t help it. You love giving cute nicknames to your friends. And you guess your boyfriend too. 
Yeah, because Yeonjun is your boyfriend now and boyfriends and girlfriends have sex. You know Yeonjun must have done it with all his previous girlfriends. It would’ve been weird if you didn’t. 
Not that Yeonjun pressured you to do it or anything. But you know he wanted it. You wanted it too. You just couldn’t get Beomgyu out of your head. Which is why it’s good that you’re finally doing this–smothering that last candle you were holding out for him. 
“You’re tensing again, doll.” Yeonjun tells you, kissing your neck. “Not that I don’t enjoy it. It feels like heaven when you squeeze down on my cock like that, but I want this to feel good for you too.” 
Yes, it’s the right thing to do this… right? 
“Okay…” You breathe, trying to relax and focus on the moment, letting your muscles unclench as Yeonjun presses his cock in and out of you. 
Once you’re sufficiently relaxed, you start to actually feel good again, his cock feeling much better than your fingers ever did. It reaches places inside you that you never could by yourself. It’s so thick and long, dragging along your walls and stimulating those sensitive spots inside you that make your toes curl. 
“Yeah, you like that, baby?” He drawls, taking note of the moans you were now letting out but he still takes it slow. 
You breath hitches, his words too closely resembling what Beomgyu had said to you before, and for a split second you see Beomgyu over you instead of Yeonjun, his long hair tickling your face and his intense gaze burning you up. 
“Yeonjun–” You gasp, digging your fingers into his arms. “Harder, please.” 
Maybe if he fucks you harder, it’ll push Beomgyu out of your brain. Maybe if he fucks you harder, you could mistake his casual affection for the raw passion you crave. 
“Are you sure, doll?” He asks, concerned. 
“Yes, please, Yeonjun. Fuck me hard.” You insist, hoping your eyes convey how much you need it. 
“Your wish is my command, baby.” He grabs your thighs, pressing them against the sides of your body and getting on top of you, driving his dick so deep inside you it makes you throw your head back in a long, choked out moan. 
But he doesn’t let up, fucking into you again and again, bullying his cock into your virgin pussy at a brutal pace until you have no more breath to scream, and then he fucks you more. 
“Baby, you with me?” Yeonjun pants, not letting up. 
“Isss good….” You mumble, brain short-circuiting, caught by the fire spreading from your pussy to set your body alight. “S-so good.” 
You vaguely hear him laugh through his own grunts, “Good girl, just lay back and let me make you feel good.” 
You nod, tears brimming at your eyelashes at the overwhelming feeling. But you love it, the burning pleasure making its way through your body and making you forget about anyone else but Yeonjun. 
“Junnie… soooo good…. Too g-good...” You cry, your pussy fluttering around his cock as it hammers in and out of you, your legs trying to slam together to take a break from the excessive pleasure, but they can’t. Not when Yeonjun’s hold on you is so bruising, his hips keeping at that brutal pace that makes you unable to even string along a full sentence.
“You asked for it, doll. Now be good and take it.” He grunts, bending down to pluck one of your nipples into his mouth, his teeth lightly grazing the sensitive nub. 
“No–no—Junnie!” You scream, unable to take it anymore, your pussy clamping down on his cock as your whole body shudders with a blinding orgasm. 
“Oh, fuck–baby, baby, I’m cumming.” Yeonjun groans, quickly taking his cock out as he cums on your belly, and replacing it with his fingers when you start crying at the emptiness. 
“I got you, doll. I got you.” He murmurs, pumping his fingers in and out of you as he milks his cock of the last drops of his orgasm–letting you both down gently. 
When you start squirming at the overstimulation–the fires retreating from your brain–he pulls his fingers out and bends down to kiss you. “It’s okay, baby. You did really well.” 
You look up at him, the insecurity creeping back in again now that the mind-numbing pleasure is gone. “Did you like it? Did you like m-me?” 
Were you good? Did you live up to his past lovers? Were you supposed to do something more? Be more proactive? Did he enjoy his time?
He chuckles. “Yes. You were great, baby. You felt so good.” He reassures you simply, pressing a kiss against your forehead. 
“Okay.” His answer doesn't really give you the reassurance you needed. You don’t even know what you need him to do or say, but you know he’s not giving it to you. And he notices. 
“You okay, doll?” He asks, giving you a skeptical look and you nod. “Yeah.” 
He doesn’t appear to be convinced by your answer. “Are you sure? Wanna take a shower?” 
You shake your head, getting off the bed and beginning to dress yourself up again. “No, that’s okay. I can take a shower at home.”
“Home? You’re not staying over?” He gives you a look of confusion which you reciprocate. “Oh. I don’t know. Do you want me to?” 
You blink at him, genuinely unsure. You didn’t want to presume anything. You don’t have experience doing this. You don't know if you’re supposed to stay or if it’s too soon. 
“Of course. I’m not just gonna make you go home after we fucked.” He chuckles, pulling you back down to the bed. “You have to stay the night.” 
“I don’t know…” You hesitate.  If you stay, Beomgyu will probably know what you've done. He'll know that you and Yeonjun had sex. But if you leave you'd be choosing Beomgyu again. You need to let go of him. 
“Okay.” 
___________________
You end up having a nice time with Yeonjun once you get over your anxiety and trepidation of losing your virginity to someone other than Beomgyu. It's silly but you suppose on some level you thought you'd have your first time with him. 
And it's not just that. For a second you let the insecurity get to you and you wondered if Yeonjun would act differently now that you had sex. That he'd show his true face and break your heart, but he doesn’t. He is as sweet as ever, giving you some of his clothes and staying up in bed with you, having those precious pillow talks that are so important early in a relationship. 
He is easy to talk to, and when he does that cute thing where he scrunches his nose up and pokes his tongue out as he's teasing you, it makes your heart flutter. 
You find out that singing isn’t his only passion--that dancing is his first love. He even gets up out of the cozy comfort of the bed to show you a few dance moves when you whine and insist he shows you. You watch him with a big smile on your face as he executes them so well even in his bedroom, his movements so fluid yet precise, it’s mesmerizing. And when he’s done he smiles that sweet smile of his and lunges back into bed with you and you take him into your arms as if he could actually belong there. 
It was so unlike how he usually is on stage and in front of others that it tugs in your heartstrings a bit, making you feel special for being allowed to witness this. 
You fall asleep in his arms and wake up in his arms, forgetting about that aching feeling of emptiness in the center of your chest for a few blissful hours. 
And in the morning you even make breakfast together. Or more like he makes you breakfast while you make coffee. 
“Oh, man. I haven’t had a proper breakfast in sooo long.” You moan, digging into the omelet and sausages he made you. 
“You don’t cook?” He asks, smiling as he watches you eat. 
“Nope. Me and Beomgyu are hopeless. We’ve almost burned the kitchen too many times that now we don’t even bother.” 
“Then what do you guys eat?” 
“Frozen goods and slimy take-out. We’re building a formidable gut microbiome. We’re actually part of the country’s biological weapons program.” 
Yeonjun laughs. “Well, sorry for ruining your trajectory by feeding you actual food.” 
“Ah, well, Beomgyu can carry the torch by himself.” You shrug, mouth full of food. 
“You guys are really close, huh?” He asks, and the mood grows a bit gloomy. You chew slowly, thinking your words through before answering. “Yeah, he’s my best friend.”
“He’s more than that though, isn’t he?” He pushes and you hesitate. 
Once again, you know exactly what he's asking, and you’re faced with a decision to make between an uncertain future with Yeonjun, nurturing a candlelight that is so shaky it might get snuffed out at any moment, or live on hopes and dreams with Beomgyu, praying for the sun to break out from behind the clouds after years of waiting for it to no avail. 
“No.” You finally say, looking up at him, trying to be decisive, hoping it will come naturally with time. “No, he’s not. Not anymore. We’ve agreed to be exclusive, you and I, and I’m serious about it.” 
Yeonjun's smile is slow, cautious. “Good to hear.”
Do either of you actually believe it? Do you really think you can move on from Beomgyu? You don’t know but you know that you have to try and you know that you'd like to try with Yeonjun. 
________________________________
Still, heading home you feel uneasy. Like you'd done something wrong you’re going to get punished for, and so to ease the guilt and tension, you grab something on the way with you–just some donuts and coffee, a small token of peace, knowing Beomgyu would be hungry and that the best way to get into his good graces is to offer him junk food. It's not like he was going to make himself breakfast or anything anyway. 
When you step into the apartment, you find him sitting on the couch just as you had expected. 
“Wanna eat? I got you your favorite donuts.” You wave the food next to your head in lieu of a greeting.
He stares at you for a few seconds, not saying anything. Shit, does he know? Can he see it on you? Probably, since you’re still wearing Yeonjun’s clothes. 
But he just says, “Sure.” and makes room for you on the couch. 
You accept it gladly, watching as he takes the donuts out and offers you some. “No, thanks, I already ate.” 
Once again, he pauses, studying you for a second before looking away and taking a bite of his donut.  
“Ugh, I was starving. This is the real stuff.” He groans and you grin. "Yeah. This is food as God intended it, processed and fried until it barely resembles food." You hum in agreement, making him giggle.
For a second you think you're off the hook. For a second you think things can just be normal like he wanted. But then he asks you something that stops you cold.  
"How was the date?"
You study his expression, trying to decipher a hidden agenda in the question. Is this a trick? Is he asking just so he can say something mean about it? Is he going to act vindictive once you tell him how it went?
But he looks genuinely curious to your scrutinizing eyes, and so you decide to just tell him the truth. "Ugh, awful. You know how completely unaware I am of my surroundings? Well, I started criticizing this one photo and the photographer was standing right behind me."
Beomgyu gasps, a piece of food flying out of his mouth at you. "No! What did he say?" 
You brush it off in disgust. "He said I was a nobody." 
Beomgyu's face twists up in anger as he puts the food down. "What the fuck? He said that?"
"Well, I said it and he just confirmed it." You explain sheepishly, still feeling the sting of the humiliation even now. "He said he has all these awards and I have nothing and never will and he won't listen to someone like me." 
"He's a fucking idiot.” Beomgyu rages, immediately jumps to your defense, “What, he thinks just because he has awards that he's the only one who can have an opinion? You know most of these awards are just rich people smelling their own farts, right? Real talent like yours cannot be measured."
Beomgyu is as fiercely defensive of you as he has always been and it brings a small smile to your face. However, the wound that the encounter opened up is still raw and just that isn’t enough to make you feel better. 
"Well, I wish it would be measured a little bit. You know we've both been doing this for years but while your band is getting bigger and bigger–and I'm so happy for you–I seem to be getting nowhere." You tell him glumly. You haven’t gotten any recognition for your work even though you work your ass off, dreaming up concepts, executing them to the best of your ability, and trying to get someone to notice. 
"Hey, hey, you will. I am certain of it. No one this talented can go unseen for long. They will notice you one day and they will be blown away." He scoots closer to you, holding your face in his warm hands and caressing your cheeks lovingly. "And hey, if all else fails, you always have that backup plan of being our main stylist and photographer. Me and Yeonjun will make sure of it. And not as a sympathy job either but because we truly believe in you."
"You would work with Yeonjun again for me?" You ask, touched. Beomgyu has been very stand-offish with Yeonjun ever since you started dating him. He only interacts with him the bare minimum to still allow the band to function. It’s not ideal but at least they’re not fighting anymore. 
"I would do anything for you." He smiles at you, the smile not quite reaching his sad eyes. 
Has his eyes always looked like this? So melancholic? Still, you feel comfort looking into them. You feel love and familiarity. You feel home. 
You do your best not to tear up, knowing if you let that dam crumble you'll end up saying things you'll regret. So you hold it together, despite how much you ache to throw yourself in his arms. You missed this. You missed him. You miss what you wish you could be. 
But then he takes his hand away and asks quietly, “Did you spend the night with him?”
“Yes.” You admit in a small voice, heart hammering against your chest.
“Got it.” He says simply, and it’s somehow worse than him getting angry. There is a sense of loss there that you can’t explain but it aches, deep and inaccessible. 
“Thanks for the food.” He says, getting up and throwing the rest of it in the trash. 
"Wait. Where are you going?” You ask when you see him heading for the door. 
“Out.” He says simply, seeming to be in a hurry to leave but you’re not ready to let him go yet. “Can't you stay for a bit?" 
"I'm sorry. I've got something to get to. But I'll catch up with you later, okay?" He doesn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s out of the door. 
“Okay.” You mumble quietly to yourself, letting the tears fall freely, having no reason to hide them anymore. 
_____________________________
A/N: AHHHH two more chapter left. the end is nigh and only one boy can win. as always feedback gives me the motivation to write and upload faster. also just to let you know i will be giving patreon a try and an alternative ending to this fic will be published with the losing boy there.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming. which boy do you want oc to end up with (voting has no bearing on the final results though i guess now it doesn't matter because we'll have an alternative ending anyway)
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