#how does my dog put up with my shit
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kristen-rollens · 7 months ago
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Happy Halloween from your
favorite angel & demon🐍🪽
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halflifebutawesome · 5 days ago
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genuine question am I the only one around here that sees the gman as actively antagonistic or am I the outlier
#transmission#Like besides the point of I'm so unsettled by him that I've considering blocking his damn tag like. Looks around?#Like I understand the idea of Like. Spooky alien grandpa😋 silly weirdguyyyy#And I don't want to be raining on anyone's parade and ultimately that's like fine who's cares. I don't care.#But I feel like a lot of people are missing the mark here on like. Gman as a character#Idfk I feel like I'm being an asshole this isn't to say you can't have fun#But like. Goofy shit with Gordon and Adrian and ALYX especially puts me so on edge sorry#Like I understand his motives and lack thereof I understand narratively what he's doing and what purpose he serves#But is like. Does nobody else see all of his actions as like super fucking sinister😭😭#He manipulated and coerced all of them he's using all of them as his weapons and attack dogs and it just. Feels scary#Adrian was TWENTY TWO.#Like does this not creep anyone else out#And I don't know if this is my place to speak on it. As a white dude.#But splash brought it up the other day and it's like.#The Gman. Someone in a great position of power. Actively and continues to manipulate and threaten a Black man and his daughter .#It's not lost on me and it kind of baffles me that people kind of. Look over that??????#He fucking steals Alyx away at the end of HLA . He uses her emotions against her in a very threatening and upsetting way.#He kind of all but threatens Eli in HL2E2.#I DONT KNOW. I DONT KNOW. he feels fucking scary.#He kept Gordon in stasis for TWENTY YEARS. IM twenty#Presumably Addy is STILL IN STASIS.#Like I don't know. It's bugging me#I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade or say ohh you can't do this or that like who cares .#But I feel like you need to take a step back and recontextualize his actions and how he does things .#Especially in the context of Alyx and Eli.#I don't know. Whatever. Sorry#half life
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ulteri0rm0tives · 2 months ago
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WORST part of replaying this game. Is that i actually *have* to progress through (most of) it to see Kerry again... Like having to wade through little chocolate gold colds to get to the real shit that ACTUALLY matters.
It actually sucks you meet him so late in the game and only get so much time with him :( especially because I (personally) find his romance and plotline to be one of the more developed slash more enjoyable ones and I just :( wish they gave us more time with him ugh I jUST MISS HIM OKAY GUYS I MISS THIS OLD MAN!!!
#if i *HAD* to rank the romances the fate of my first born on the line here#I'd have to say Judy then Kerry then Panam and... unsurprisingly... River (they did him the dirtiest yall 😭)#judy because hers is not only so well developed#but also actually extremely extremely vital to the main storyline unlike the others and ties into the plot really well#kerrys is also kinda important to the storyline in the way its legit just kinda a johnny side mission#especially if you want that extra percentage towards yalls relationship to unlock some of the endings slash dialogue#and panams does feel like it kinda strays from the main storyline but you do meet her because of it (going 2 find rogue for the first time)#so it still ties in well enough#but river.... oh my boy how they didn't even give you a chance to run before walking.....#he just feels so disconnected from the rest of the story... which couldve worked!#it wouldve been fun to let V have relationships and interactions that didnt just revolve around the fact they were dying#river couldve been that respite for them that break away from reality that safeplace for V to just.. take a breather from hit after hit#after disastrous blow as gods own personal chew toy that game made them out to be#it couldve worked! so well! but its the fact you can FEEL how underdeveloped he and his plotline (as a character even)#how rushed it is. how they didnt put the same care and love into him as they did for judys and kerrys story#how they gutted HIS ROMANCE FROM THE POTENTIAL ONE THAT WAS PLANNED HAD WITH TAKEMURA#lik he isnt even his own character but this character stitched 2gether frm scraps of others they didnt have time or energy to fully develop#i feel so bad everytime people talk about how much they hate him and his plotline bc its not his fault guys#hes a victim of cdprs poor planning and writing 😭#like im sorry man but it was kinda a stark slap in the fucking face to going from rescuing his nephew from a fucking trafficking ring...#and the next literal mission we're macking up on the tower overlooking the trailer park#like that shit felt so forced 😭😭😭 where was the natural progression????#the chemistry besides a few offhand comments frm fanily shoved in 2 seconds before the tower 2 force it 2 make sense???#WHERE WAS THE FLIRTY DIALOGUE WITH THE OTHERS???#girl if he told me if i wanted to join him in bed like KERRY had the 1st time we met#bitch u know i would've been crawling on my knees like a DOG jumping str8 up onto that bed#LMAO anyway lost the plot this was a post about Kerry and i guess it kinda still is i just 💚 rambling in the safety of tags#cyberpunk 2077#kerry eurodyne#ult speaking
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timeisacephalopod · 2 years ago
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I know I made a post the other day about making fun of peoples names being rude and people need to shut the fuck up but I found out my sister is naming her kid Texas Pete and we're not even American, it is EMBARRASSING to name your kid after a state of a country you don't even live in and the Pete is taken from the idiot father who will NOT like when I ask her in front of him why the hell she chose to name her kid after him when ZERO of her children are named after HER and also you're gunna name your kid after the guy who couldn't even pull his cock out on time? THATS what you're going to saddle this kid with?
I wish she'd gotten an abortion 🙄🙄🙄🙄
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snoozingbear · 1 month ago
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reminder to self: resist the i told you so moment. the i told you so moment does nothing but make the situation worse. the i told you so moment is not vindication it’s just shitty for everyone.
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months ago
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mr president a fourth major assignment has hit the two days before a mandatory friday road trip nobody bothered to tell me about until yesterday
#my first speech for my oral comm class AND two papers on friday AND NOW A FOURTH FOR IN CLASS ON THURSDAY THAT I FORGOT ABOUT#FUCKING WHY#i can't even get extensions on most of these bc of the nature of the classes AND i can't rely on working in the car#bc i get car sick really easily Sometimes#EXPLODING EXPLODING EXPLODING WHAT THE FUCK#i thought i was ahead and on top of stuff despite being lax this weekend bc of the putting my dog down thing#NO NOT THE TOP ROPE I CAN'T TAKE IT TYPE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!???!!!#very upset about the new surprise one bc i wanted to put my whole pussy into it but i fucking forgot it existed much less that it was#functionally due tomorrow. killing someone why does college make it impossible to Try My Best on aasignments im passionate about#I TAKE FIVE CLASSES WHY ARE YOU ALL GANGING UP ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my japanese class is being nice to me thank GOD. for now.#i do have an oral quiz due the wed i come back but i'll take it#guh im actually still pissed about the baby shower road trip. 16 hours of my weekend spent in the car without much notice at all#and since im leaving right after class on friday everything is basically due on thursday. fucking hell#i was not planning for the four car pileup!! i thought i only had two cars!!! and the speech isn't That bad so it was more like 1.5 cars!!#fucking god dammit#MAYBE IT'S MY FAULT BUT I THOUGHT I WAS OKAY. STOP KICKING ME WHEN IM UP DESPITE IT ALL#and it's not like i'll be able to decompress from that in any meaningful way bc im going to spend the weekend w extended family#and while i love them it that is Not relaxing it is sitting around trying to form appropriate sentences about appropriate topics#and it's always some kind of horrible guilty 'i need to stop thinking about how much i want to leave'#but that impulse is replaced by nothing and im gonna fucking hide in the bathroom again probably I HATE IT HERE
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arolesbianism · 5 months ago
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The last of my captains have been done! My freaks <3
#keese draws#oc art#oc#lobotomy corporation#lob corp oc#let it be known that while sanchez’s freak is not to be underestimated neither is london’s#remember he’s a big part of the reason mirabelle is the way she is#he is also of all of the captains 100% the one who would resort to violence the fastest in most situations#now to be fair he doesn’t tend to act particularly violently towards those who work under him but he’s not special in that#none of my team captains are particularly trigger happy when it comes to their coworkers#they have all had to put down their fair share of coworkers but none of them really lash out physically much if at all#but generally london came into the facility most used to excecuting people in pain#of the captains to be clear#sanchez doesn’t have a proper backstory yet tho so they could also have that experience for all I know#sanchez still isn’t particularly violent tho just a freak <3#in my minds eye they and their sister hoon had faked their own deaths in their original home before fucking off to try to start a business#together but they ended up in pretty bad debt and as such ended up at lob corp#and in general sanchez is the type of person who mostly does shit just because they can and since they and hoon have gone mostly unpunished#for all their fuckery the two tend to try to pull off big schemes regularly despite hoon being on the more reserved side#also yes sanchez isn’t her real name they were simply feeling silly#but yeah sanchez was the one who started the whole sit com family roleplay thing going on with the extraction team#for a good while it was just him and hoon there so when some newbies finally got funneled in sanchez wanted to see how much he could#intimidate them into doing some dumb bullshit that she thought would be funny#turns out it was piss easy since one of them is the master of committing to the bit and the other two have hashtag issues#so sanchez is now the ‘dad’ of two ‘kids’ and a ‘dog’#lobotomy corporation oc
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connormoving · 7 months ago
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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littlepuppers · 10 months ago
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fantasizing about dog sitting rnnnn. I’ve never dog sat or anything, and everyone in my neighborhood has big dogs for protection. But i’m thinking if i did offer to dog sit and be told how to take care of the dogs and everything. I would bend down to put their food in their food bowls and he would trap my hips and start mounting me. i try to push him off but he starts barking and biting at my neck. frozen in fear, i try to wiggle my hips away but his doggy cock goes under my skirt. as he puts all his weight on me, my upper body is forced onto the cold floor, and my face into his food bowl. i yell at him to stop, heel, walk?
nothing works, he just keeps thrusting till he pushes my panties aside. no no no no please. my tears start to fall into the kibble as i lay there whimpering, still trying to push his paws off of my hips. but he pulls my hips closer and i feel his hot cock push into me. completely limp and terrified i realize i can’t get him off of me. he’s so big, pushing against my walls and fucking me so fast and i can’t help but moan a little bit because he’s hitting all of my spots. i start to get close and clench around him but he immediately bites down hard on my neck and pushes a huge doggy knot inside me. i scream into the food and am forced to not move because i feel like ill split open if i do.
god. what the fuck. i need this dog off of me now. his slobber dripping off my neck and his teeth marks littered across it. these are definitely gonna bruise. fuck everyone’s gonna find out. i feel his hot doggy semen pool into me and leaking into my cervix, it’s the most disgusting feeling. maybe he’s done now? i try to push his paws off again and he starts to back up.
NOT DONE FUCK. i get dragged a few inches back because fuck he’s fucking stuck in me and have to wait this shit out for god know how long. it hurts, i still feel his cum , now leaking out of me and making a huge mess on the floor. he starts licking the back of my neck and licking off the kibble stuck to my face.
“dumb fucking dog,” i say but he grunts and harshly backs up as i hear a POP and liquid splashing on the ground. my legs shake and give out as i fall down into the dogs mess of cum. so gross. i feel his cold snout pushing my butt back up and he starts licking into my hole, pushing his semen back in. fuck. get the fuck away please i can’t take more. he leaves me.
for the next few days of dog sitting i’ve felt his cum constantly leak out of me and he doesn’t stop trying to push his snout up my skirt. he even does it when the owners come back and i hand them the keys back. they snap and him and say no, only to notice his red cock out and dripping as he’s sniffing me. i push him away and walk out, thankful that it’s over, looking down annoyed and disgusted as i see more of his arousal dripping down my leg.
(fuck i got so carried away writing this, so sorries :33)
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invincibledc · 2 months ago
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⋆✴︎˚。⋆𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑲 𝑮𝑹𝑨𝒀𝑺𝑶𝑵 𝑿 𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑹!𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹⋆✴︎˚。⋆
⭑.ᐟ Inspired by: @starzyangel work of mark Grayson x streamer!reader
⭑.ᐟreader is male, mark grayson x male reader supremacy🤫
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“Did you know I’m like, best friends with invincible?” You said as you looked at chat. Putting your arms behind your head, leaning back in your streaming chair. Your shirt raised a bit to show your happy trail before smirking, leaning forward when your chat started to go crazy.
“I’m being serious too guys, he literally saved me once and said he watches my streams. Kinda cool isn’t it?” You said, not knowing mark was certainly watching your stream. His face had a dust of pink on his cheeks looking at you.
God you were handsome, it was so quick when you were in danger.. he hadn’t realized he saved his favorite streamer who he bought mini figurines of. You had gripped onto him hard as he saved you from debris, the way your eyes soften at him.
Oh boy.. his heart was going to burst. He didn’t expect those [color] eyes to look into his. After placing you down, he awkwardly admits he’s a big fan of you and flies away.
He smacks himself on the head for admitting that, he can’t help it! Your cocky and chill demeanor on stream and in real life makes him just wanna.. ugh! He has no words expect to just be noticed by you.
And now you know that his hero persona is a fan of yours.
Mark watches your streams like it’s a ritual, with snacks, drinks, he just watches you play horror games. He loves how you’re so engaged with the games and the chat.
Talking to them about how their day is going, talking about your own day. He can’t help but be.. Parasocial.
He denies it at first when William catches him, but now he’s laying in bed looking at his ceiling thinking like..
“Am I… parasocial?” He either doesn’t care, or he does. But he can’t help it. You’re like a drug he needs to stop hooking on.
Never in his life would he admit he has a crush on you. A boy crush.
Okay maybe he admitted to William, but that’s his best friend for crying out loud! Mark likes women, but you, you’re something he never expected to fully grasp onto.
Like, he would like every thirst edit of you, it could be a funny edit and he’d laugh at it when he’s on break during burger mart.
Or if it’s a boring night and you started to stream, he falls asleep to your voice.
Bro’s a simp for his streamer, he can’t help it that you’re so damn charming.
But of course he needs to focus on saving the world and being [title card], he can’t just keep Fiening over some guy with [color] hair and eyes.
Would be the one to eavesdrop on someone talking about your latest stream when it’s been a year of quitting watching you.
Now he’s back on the grind. Oh poor mark, now he’s binging all the streams he missed in a year all in one single night.
Too anxious to gift to you. He’s pacing in his room left and right, biting his hand as he watches his computer and seeing you rant about how donuts are better than bagels.
He finally mans up and gives you a tier sub.
The way your eyes light up, and now he’s gifting you all type of stuff. When he has the money of course, he has self control.
But shit, seeing you in person, outside of his hero persona. You both had bumped into each other. You said sorry with a small smile, while mark just stood there broken like a computer. Thinking he was mad, you offered him to go get coffee with you. He only nodded as he followed you, fanboying inside as he mentally smiles hard.
He hasn’t smiled this hard when he had the unlimited seance dog comic book.
And this was just the beginning of getting to know you out of his hero life.
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ettawrites · 7 months ago
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Could you make genin Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, Rock Lee and Neji x reader who is their crush and they end up having to fight reader in the chunin exam?
Yessss, yes I will 😊
Fighting Them During The Chunin Exam
A/N: half of this was written with writers blocks the other half was written when I was high, so don’t judge the quality okay 😊
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Naruto
- One by one you both watched as everyone was drawn. When it was just down to four of you, Naruto prayed he would get Kiba
- You both gave a side eye when you were the last opponents
- Oh fucking shit
- He was actually a bit (really) mad, protesting that he could not fight you because you were a friend but when the only response was fight or surrender he bit the inside of his cheek
- “Friend”… yuh uh, he means totally smitten to the point he feels like a dog
- But he couldn’t surrender, not when he was this close to getting his chunin but he didn’t know where you guys would stand after it
- When you reassured him this is just how it was supposed to be and said you’d be honoured to fight him, he only frowned and scratched his head.
There he stood, across from you on this dirty cement floor and he was mesmerized on how you could just smile.
“This gotta be a joke, can you just redraw?” He asked the , displeased evident.
“There’s nobody to draw from, you both are the last opponents,” he irked, finding Naruto’s stupidly uncharming.
“Naruto it’s fine, let’s just do this, I’m hungry,” You slumpt, anxious to get this over with.
- he went easy at the start, only throwing kunais and he played defence
- When he realized you weren’t going easy, he was caught off guard as you punched him right in the face
- He stumbled, looking at you with somehow even more admiration
- Then he got serious and the fight really started
- You lost, but some part of you kind of anticipated it
- You were sprawled out on the floor, head pounding from the attack and you were honestly just so tired from the forest
- When you surrendered he felt relieved, he didn’t know how much longer he could take fighting you
- He ran over to you, he wasn’t happy with the win
- He apologized over and over, helping you up and taking you to the infirmary
- He was so glad you guys were still friends, you meant so much to him
- Totally just friends
- He takes you out for ramen after
- He still is on edge for quite some time, he makes excuses why he can’t train with you and he definitely won’t rough house like you guys use too
——
Sasuke
- king of looking like he doesn’t give a shit
- He does
- He’s literally panicking internally and in private probably bites his nails from anxiety
- He thinks he’s anxious to fight you, that has to be it? Out of everyone you are most worthy to him potential wise
- He’s lying to himself, he doesn’t wanna believe that he’s scared to fight you because you mean a lot to him
- He’ll avoid you for the month of training and when you come to confront him about it he’s eerily upset
“We’re not friends, I am getting my chunen license even if it means hurting you,” he says, stopped inside his door frame as he watches you fold your arms over your chest.
“So that’s it, friendship over because of a silly competition?” You respond, you knew sasuke was aloof and stubborn, but really?
“We never were friends,” he replied, as casual as one could and he hated the way your eyes got glossy. He watched you leave, regretting it but he won’t take it back.
- you were nervous, standing in the podium as the crowd was watching you
- Sasuke wasn’t here yet, which you’d hope he wouldn’t show up at all
- You were a bit annoyed as he spawned in with kakashi, trying to be ‘cool’
- He was surprised when you actually put up a fight, a good one too
- But also kind of proud
- He did not go easy on you, at all and was definitely being yelled at by Naruto on the stands
- he won, by default as you had passed out and could not continue to fight
- He wanted to check on you, instead lurking outside your door and kinda of just shuffling around
- He’ll ask the nurses if you’re okay, but he won’t dare go in already knowing he’s fucked up your guys friendship
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Gaara
- low key you were shitting your pants cause WHATT???
- You saw what that boy did to Rock Lee, and now you have to fight him?
- He on the other hand doesn’t care, but the more it gets closer to the fight he starts feeling uneasy
- He’s… what they refer to as a monster? So why is he kind of concerned for this nobody wannabe?
- He had sat beside you during the first test, intrigued by you
- Your the first person that has ever smiled at him so.. genuinely
- And now he has to fight you? A big part of him was set on absolutely destroying you to stop this uneasiness in his chest
- I mean, he didn’t even know if he had a gentle bone in his body, all he knows how to do is ruin things
“You…” his cold voice came, you were walking home in the dusk from the ramen shop after hanging out with Naruto.
“Uh.. yeah? Hey?” You responded, confused and a bit anxious as you stuffed your hands in your pockets. He came closer, a blank look on his face.
“Forfeit,”
“Huh?”
“Forfeit the fight, I will kill you,” He explained, blinking so casually as he watched your complexed reaction.
- he, in his own scary way, was trying to warn you that he could not control himself
- He was kind of happy when you got his underlying message.. you really were different
- You forfeited privately, to your sensei who completely understood
- Gaara was grateful when the next night Baki had told him his opponent had changed
——
Rock Lee
- When you were paired with him for the semi finals he had frowned
- He apologized to Neji and his sensei
- Both were very confused
- He had that cute little ‘hmpf’ look on his face with an even cuter pout as he walked down the steps
- When he came face to face to you you saw this look in his eyes
- Both of you didn’t say anything when the ref asked if anyone wanted to forfeit before he called fight
You braced, drawing your Kunai when the fight began. Rock Lee raised his hand, looking like his traditional taijustu pose.
“I cannot fight you (y/n)! Please forgive me I forfeit,” he yelled, clasping his hands together and falling to his knees before you in a bow.
“…wha…?” You deadpanned, uneased by how loud he had just shouted that. He looked up, seriousness written all over him.
- You guys didn’t talk until after everyone had battled, finding him hiding from you behind the tree outside
- He slumped as you yelled at him
- He let you rant before he started his own ramble, explaining how he couldn’t fight you
- He would never lay a hand on you, it was against his ninja way
- His eyes started to water and his top lip twitched, clearly upset
- You rolled your eyes and went to go get ice cream with him
——
Neji
- you guys were paired to fight for the finals
- He was stubborn and if you’re a girl.. low key sexist about it
- He thinks he’s being a gentlemen but absolutely obliterating you with ‘facts’
- King of backhanded compliments
- But what he doesn’t know is you started to train with a really powerful sensei who was travelling through the village and offered to help you
- Throughout the whole month training time he was focusing on his fighting, but you were on the back of his mind
- He knew he wanted to win, but he also knew he didn’t want to hurt you either nor ruin your relationship
- So he spent a lot of late nights trying to figure out ways he could knock you out as quick and painless as possible
- This was all internally and completely private to him, he never expressed any weakness on the outside
- He was pretty confident in himself
- When the fight began and he realized.. you were actually catching him off guard he was perplexed
“I don’t-… how?” He coughed up blood, knees weak as he swayed to try and stay up right. You frowned, he hated that.
“I’m not weak Neji, don’t underestimate your opponent. You don’t know me,” Those words were said in order to hurt him, he had ruined your patience with his opinion of you.
“I.. thought I did,” he pondered, eyes lost.
- you gave the final blow to him and he was carried away to infirmary
- When he awoke he stared up at the ceiling for a long time after, feeling his wounds and thinking he deserved the pain for how much he took your abilities unseriously
- He vowed to never make you feel inferior to him and started to rekindle your friendship in hopes he didn’t ruin his chance
——
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cxvii666 · 12 days ago
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“nah, i can’t, bro. my girl said no.”
hanta’s voice is casual, breezy, like he’s turning down a movie he’s already seen. except the movie is an invite to hit this new ramen spot downtown, something the group’s been trying to plan for weeks.
denki, leaning against the kitchen counter with a stolen capri-sun in hand, blinks at him in utter disbelief. “you literally just said she’s asleep.”
“exactly,” hanta says, like he’s pointing out the obvious. “she’s asleep, and i don’t wanna wake her.”
denki’s eyes narrow. “you’re at your house.”
hanta doesn’t flinch. “the vibes are asleep, denki. don’t mess with the energy.”
in the corner of the room, bakugou lets out a sound so sharp and pained it’s honestly impressive it’s not lethal. “you are so full of shit.”
hanta just grins, throwing his phone lazily onto the couch and stretching like he’s got all the time in the world. he’s draped across the sectional like he lives there—which he kind of does, when you’re around. the hoodie he’s wearing still smells like your shampoo. his legs are tangled in a fuzzy blanket you left behind two days ago, the one you claimed clashed with his “whole aesthetic” but brought over anyway. your socks—those ridiculous yellow ones with the tiny strawberries—are balled up under the coffee table.
everything in here is steeped in you. your perfume still hangs faintly in the air. your laugh echoes if he thinks about it too hard.
it’s not that he can’t go out.
it’s just—okay. no. it’s exactly that. he can’t go out. not when he could be here, waiting for you.
“look, i’m sorry,” he says with all the sincerity of a man who is not sorry in the slightest, “missus said no. y’know how it is.”
denki frowns at him, straw still in his mouth. “you don’t even call her that to her face.”
“i call her worse,” hanta replies proudly, just before a throw pillow comes flying from bakugou’s corner of the room and smacks him in the head with practiced precision.
“you’re so annoying when you’re in love,” bakugou mutters, already reaching for another pillow like it’s open season on sentimentality.
“thank you!” hanta chirps, catching the first pillow and hugging it to his chest like a trophy. “finally, someone’s noticing the effort I put into being an incredible boyfriend.”
“you’re lying to avoid social plans,” denki points out flatly. “you bailed on us last week too.”
“that time she really did say no.”
“no she didn’t.”
“she could have!” hanta says, like that somehow justifies it. “i just… preemptively respected her boundaries.”
bakugou makes a noise like he’s seriously debating whether homicide is worth the paperwork.
hanta settles deeper into the couch, gaze flicking briefly to his phone screen—already lighting up with a little preview of your goodnight text, the one you typed before your post-shift nap knocked you out. he doesn’t open it. just smiles at it. lets it sit there like a quiet little warm thing in his chest.
you’re coming over later. you mentioned it in passing this morning, half-asleep and brushing your teeth. said something about bringing that stupidly specific kind of candy he likes from the store near your work. he knows you’ll show up smelling like body lotion and a long day, probably steal another one of his hoodies and complain about the lack of snacks in his pantry like you don’t eat them all.
and if you’re even a minute late, he’ll act like he’s not checking the window every five seconds like a dog waiting for the mailman.
but right now, you’re asleep. and you’re still the best excuse he’s ever had.
“y’know,” he says, propping one foot up on the coffee table, “i just think it’s important to prioritize your partner. i’m choosing love. you guys are choosing noodles. i’m making mature decisions.”
“you’re eating half a pack of gummy worms and wearing her fuzzy socks.”
“maturely.”
denki sighs and checks the time. “whatever. i’m leaving in ten.”
“send me pics,” hanta calls after him, already fishing for the remote. “unless they’re ugly. then keep them to yourself.”
bakugou, on his way out, doesn’t say goodbye—just mutters something that sounds like simp and slams the door harder than necessary.
hanta doesn’t care.
he’s got a show paused right where you left off. your blanket. your scent. your goodnight text warming the screen like a promise.
the vibes are asleep, yeah.
and he’d rather stay in them, anyway.
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quarterlifekitty · 6 months ago
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The guys with a girlfriend who honestly.. kind of scares them
In different ways of course, but there’s still the underlying theme of her being rather unsettling
- @murderkittyz
I want you to know that this has been living in my mind. I love writing reader characters that are weird af and quite honestly unsettling
To be honest, writing Nikolai was really hard for this one, and I’m still not totally satisfied by it. I think he’s too willing to match your freak.
cw: some graphic descriptions of violence (not enacted, just threats/movie scenes etc)
Gaz is freaked out by how much you like the dark. You scare the shit out of him all the time because he’ll come home, thinking you’re not home because no lights are on in the house, and you’re so quiet— he is not proud to admit how many times he’s screamed when you suddenly said hi from a spot in the dark. And how whenever you get up in the middle of the night, you don’t turn the lights on. He asks you why, and you just say you don’t need them. Freaky.
There have been a handful of times where you were truly, extremely angry at Soap. And he almost pissed himself every single time because of how scary you get. Not because you scream or shake or slap his chest or anything, but because you don’t do any of it. Outside, you’re calm, you’re smiling. But it’s how you talk to him like he’s a child. “It’s okay. I’m just very, very angry at you right now”. It puts him on fucking edge. It creates this tension like you’re about to do something, that you’re gonna get back at him somehow in some way he’ll never see coming, but you don’t do anything. Absolutely fries his nerves.
Ghost is scared by how easily you tone switch, partially because he’s not really able to do so. The way you can be talking about someone from the base and say “he’s such a fucking prick bastard. I wanna rip off his balls and shove them down his throat far enough that he chokes”. And then the next day, you’ll greet the same guy like he’s an old friend. Extremely polite, pleasant, happy. It reminds Simon that he only sees the real you because you allow him that privilege.
Price is scared by your good memory. He’s used to being the one who remembers, the one who’s completely on top of things, the one who knows everything needed to know about everyone. But he’ll mention a colleague that you met once, for 10 minutes, years ago and you’ll ask “Is he still with Martha? She wanted to adopt a dog with him, a Siberian husky, and he seemed so scared of the commitment”. That’s scary. Makes him feel like he has a blind spot. Makes him wonder what you remember about him that even he doesn’t recall.
König is a difficult man to disgust and to scare. He’s seen a lot of things, and he himself is rather unsettling. But he’s scared and disgusted by some of your taste in movies. Things with long, painful torture scenes. All of the blood, flaying of skin, needles, ripping bones from flesh. It’s not so much that you enjoy these movies, but how you enjoy them. You lean against him, but not because you’re scared. You laugh in a way that you never do outside of watching a gorey scene, of someone crying on the floor with broken limbs. He shudders to imagine what you’d be like if you had his job.
Nikolai is unsettled by some of the fantasies you share with him, and how you convey them. Not things that you could really enact, just fantasies. “The other day I thought about being a mermaid— and you being a pirate that captured me to cut me up and sell my parts. But when you were about to cut me open you saw my cunt and decided to keep me as a fuckdoll instead, and fingered me right there with the butcher knife still on the table”. And you say it pretty nonchalantly. He’s honored that you trust him with these inner thoughts, and usually they turn him on completely, but it does creep him out just a little.
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f4ggydog · 1 month ago
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lottie x reader: no need to fight it cause you’re giving in🔞
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warnings: smut, noncon, top lottie, lottie has a dick, reader has a pussy, breeding, delusional lottie, dark lottie
Lottie’s dragging you out to the clearing and the next thing you register is the sounds of trees blaring in your ears. You shake your head, wanting to put this fantasy to rest. Whatever delusion Lottie was infected by, you were begging for a halt to it. The last thing you needed was to get mixed up in her little schemes.
“I know you hear it too,” Lottie says. “Can you hear it humming in your ears?”
Humming was one way to put it. It felt more like screaming for you. You cover your ears and sink to the ground, covering your face with your knees. You shiver as a giant ball of agony and fright. Make it stop. Make it stop.
“It’s okay.” Lottie rests her hand on your shoulder. “It might hurt to hear, but you’re the only one that can…talk with it. Understand it.”
No, you are not. You’ve got no connection with the wilderness whatsoever and you wish Lottie would stop insisting that you do. Her plans were going nowhere.
“Nobody else would be able to hear that yelling besides us,” Lottie states. “I can only hear it because I’m in close proximity to you. You…you can help me connect with it again.”
When does the nightmare end?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter. “I-I’ve got no connection to anything.”
“Nonsense.” Lottie shoves your side. “You have to trust me. You’re so important right now. You have great significance. And I need you to use it.”
“Lottie, I’m not the wilderness’ advocate. I’m just a person. Really, I’m not some god or spirit. I’m just me. Just leave all this stuff behind.”
“If we don’t obey what the wilderness wants, we all die. If we don’t give it what it wants, we will all suffer. You don’t want that, do you?”
Of course you don’t. You’d hate to see any more needless deaths. You’ve barely survived consuming Javi, let alone consuming another Yellowjacket. As if devouring Jackie wasn’t harrowing enough.
“Just listen to it,” Lottie instructs tenderly. “Let the sounds of the forests fill your ears. Get immersed in your environment. Tell me how deeply you can feel.”
The forest calls out to you again. You cringe as shrieks of terror fill your ears again, along with the sound of the wind swaying the trees. A leaf falls from above. The ground feels like it’s moving. The earth feels like it’s spinning on its axis. You’re getting dizzier.
“Make it stop,” you whimper. “Make it stop, Lottie. Tell it to stop.”
“What do you hear?” Lottie ignores your request. “Tell me.”
“Screaming!” You cry out. “They won’t stop screaming. Lottie, my ears are gonna bleed! It’s just yelling!”
“It’s communicating with you, in the only way it knows how. You’re doing so well for me.”
You drop to your hands and knees, on all fours like a dog. You feel a sharp pain in your ribs and your nails dig into the dirt for something to grasp onto. More yelling echoes in your ears and your back is close to giving out. You’re not sure how much more pain you can take. Why does it feel like you’re on the verge of death?
“Excellent.” Lottie nods, a menacing smirk on her lips. “Perfect. So good.”
The screaming stops. You gasp for air, rolling onto your back and heaving. You cross your arms on your chest, blinking as you watch the blue sky.
“You make for an excellent pupil,” Lottie compliments. “You did me a big favor here.”
“I don’t think I wanna do any more favors, Lot. Can we just go back to the camp please? Everything hurts.”
“We’re not done yet. There’s still other ways that we might be able to connect to the wilderness. Together. You and me.”
“I think I’m okay.”
“You can’t refuse,” Lottie says sternly, hand cupping your cheek. “I’m not letting you go until we do this. Once we’re done, then we may return home.”
“No!” You snap, standing up and shaking dirt off of your knees. “I’m not doing this shit anymore, Lottie. I’m fucking going home. You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that?”
“You can’t.” Lottie takes big strides towards you as you back away. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Fucking catch me then!” You taunt. “Cause I’m running. Fuck this! I’m gone!”
Lottie chases after you without hesitation. You don’t make it far before she tackles you onto the ground like a football player. She pins your hands above your head and presses her knees down on your legs.
“Good try,” she sighs. “Unfortunately, that’s not gonna cut it.”
“You’re fucking nuts,” you spit. “If you think I’m gonna let you poison me into your crazy ideology, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“Fine,” Lottie huffs. “Then it turns out I’ll really have to get you to connect with it another way. Good thing I know a strategy.”
“What does that mean?” You inquire nervously. “What the hell do you mean, Lottie?”
“You’ll see. But you’re gonna have to trust me. Can you do that?”
“No, I’m not trusting you with anything! You tried to kill me back there.”
“I didn’t try to kill you,” Lottie corrects. “I was…introducing you to something.”
“Yeah, introducing me to my grave! Fuck off. Seriously, go bother Travis. Weren’t you messing with him earlier?”
“He doesn’t bear the same connection as you.” Lottie lowers her head. “I was mistaken. Thought I knew better, which is why I need you to help me out. I need to get in touch with the wilderness and its demands again. It’s important that I reach it. For the sake of you, me and the others.”
“Lottie you’re pissing me off,” you respond. “You’re pissing me off so bad, Lottie.
“I can deal with you being upset with me. As long as you get access to the wilderness in the way I want you to, it’s worth it.”
Lottie presses her nose to your forehead.
“I know this might not be easy for you to understand, but this is why I require your trust. You’re so much more important than you realize. And I need you to understand your value.”
You’re alarmed by Lottie’s proximity and attempt to wiggle away. But her grip overpowers yours effortlessly, which is a shocker. For all you knew, the wilderness could be injecting her with extra nutrients this second to keep her bones stronger.
Lottie presses her crotch against your ass. She’s laying on top of you, her dress flowing up a bit. Her hips grind against you, her bulge becoming more prominent.
“W-What kind of lessons are this?” You stutter. “W-What does this have to do with the wilderness? Lottie, you’re making me uncomfortable.”
Lottie’s arms attach themselves around your waist.
“Our bodies,” Lottie says. “They have to touch, bare skin on bare. It’s the most intimate form of human connection. It’ll ensure your connection with the woods is thorough.”
Before you can hurl another question her way, Lottie reaches for your shorts. She tugs them down until they reach the dirt floor. Then, her hands reach for your shirt.
“I can feel it already,” Lottie purrs in your ear. “It’s so much deeper. I already feel like I’m understanding you slightly more. Are you experiencing that feeling too?”
You shake your head, swallowing your hiccups. You’re frozen with fear and you wish you had one of the other girls around to save you. You couldn’t even fully blame yourself. You didn’t purposefully follow Lottie. She took you by your hand and forced you into her world of ‘wonders.’
Her hands slip under your shirt. Her fingers tease your nipples, humming with approval. You cough, unable to wriggle out from underneath Lottie’s body. Her bulge gets harder and stiffer with every movement and you’re worried you accidentally rub your clothed cunt against her cock. The last thing you need is to entice her further.
“This is great,” Lottie rasps. “I can tell that your body’s different just from its touch. There’s magic inside of you. You’re divine, perfect for experimentation.”
What the fuck? You weren’t some sort of lab subject? Again, you fail to fight off Lottie. You attempt to roll over so that she’s the one on the ground. But Lottie planned for that course of action. She’s got every weakness of yours figured out. There’s nowhere to go, nowhere to hide from her insanity.
Lottie stops fondling your buds, reaching her hands into her underwear. She grips her cock by its heavy shaft. Her dick is so huge that even one hand isn’t enough to properly secure it. However, she doesn’t pull down her panties just yet.
Does she think you’ll pull down your undergarments first? No way. You’re not going along with her trickery. You’re smarter than this. Perhaps you still have a chance to find a path back to camp and you can tell the others what Lottie tried to do with you.
More ideas pop into your mind but none come to fruition. And the more useless thinking you do, the more time Lottie has to undress you completely.
And she does just that. Well, mostly. She rips your underwear almost clean off, exposing your bare cunt to both the wilderness and its prophet.
“Shhhh,” Lottie coos. “Don’t make too much of a commotion. The wilderness won’t like it if you resist. It wants a smooth process, a firm understanding.”
“You’re a creep!” You shout. “You’re such a creep, Lottie. What is the matter with you!? Let the fuck go of me now!”
“You are the messenger,” Lottie informs. “You are the one it wants me to feel. You are the one whose body I’ve been trusted with. The wilderness expects a connection from you. Not Travis, not Akilah, not any other soul.”
“Leave me alone,” you whine, hearing the sound of fabric. Lottie takes her panties off and holds up the edge of her dress, so you get a good glance at what will crack you open. You’re not prepared to feel fuller than you’ve ever experienced before. You could deal with a lot less new experiences. Every new experience in the forest seemed to deprive you of mental fortitude day by day.
“Hush. Hush, hush. You’re so delicate, my little flower. You’re perfect for me.”
Lottie rubs the red tip of her cock against your folds. There’s hardly any wetness and Lottie doesn’t seem ready to lube you up either. There’s a certain haste to the friction and she clearly wants to ram inside of you and be as close to you as humanly possible. There was no warmth and bonding like being inside the body of another. But Lottie couldn’t cannibalize you. She needed you alive and well, willing to pass on the wilderness’ message.
In an act of scarce mercy, Lottie spits on her veiny cock a couple of times. She pumps the saliva along her shaft, a small amount hardly covering the surface. You yelp as Lottie whacks her dick against your entrance, enjoying your pussy pulsing as a satisfying reaction.
“Do you trust me?” Lottie asks.
Of course you don’t. Did she actually expect you to respond with a yes? Was there a shred of sanity left in that head jumbled with conspiracies and false prophecies? The potential answer scares you.
“N-No,” you utter.
Lottie rejects your answer. She thrusts forward, gagging your mouth with her fingers.
Your cry of pain is muffled. You are nothing but a bundle of nerves, forced to endure rough penetration. Lottie senses your discomfort, but there’s no halt to her movements. There’s desperation and need, but the only gentle part about this is the words entering your ears.
“Sweet little doll,” Lottie giggles, her cock stretching you out. “Look at the way those eyes flutter. Tell me, do you feel it in your soul? Do you feel how close we are? Do you feel us connecting on the basis of you being my student?”
What a twisted teacher. You couldn’t wait to warn the other members when you got back so they could hopefully toss out this creep. Your nails scratch the coarse floor of dirt. Your legs kick the ground like a tantrum is being thrown, except it’s a justified one.
“The fear is part of the ride,” Lottie encourages. “Think of this as a sacrifice. This may do away with your purity, but this brings us closer together. You’ll understand. You’ll get it once we’re done.”
You don’t believe a lick of Lottie’s speech. You sob against her fingers, nibbling on them until she pushes them to the back of your throat. You gag, nearly barfing at the sensation of being split open and practically choked.
“Take it,” Lottie grunts, her cock throbbing against your tight, velvety walls.
She removes her fingers from your mouth and holds you by your shoulders. Your body is forced into the dirt, her shirt covered with brown as Lottie uses your body like a fleshlight.
“Too much,” you cry. “Lottie, you’re too big. Y-You should take it out. Please, you’re way too big.”
“We could’ve done this an easier way. But you had to be difficult. You refused to listen to the sounds the wilderness offered. Now, this is the only way to get you to behave.”
Lottie kisses the back of your neck roughly, her cock still pounding away. Your body grows weaker by the moment and you internally say a prayer, wondering if you’ll ever be free now that she’s rested a claim on you.
If you were supposed to be a little flower, this felt like having all your petals torn off. You were wilted, growing ill from lack of nourishment and brightness in your life. Lottie was shielding you from the sun you deserved. When Lottie put you in your place, there was only darkness. Nothing but pitch black hell.
“Somehow your reaction is still not worse than I expected,” Lottie states proudly. “I’ll be able to tame you pretty soon. You’re going to make the perfect disciple. I just need you to understand why I’m doing this, why you need this.”
You don’t have the capacity to listen to her reasonings right now. You just desire an end to the cruelty.
Lottie’s balls slap against your ass, the slapping sound of flesh causing you to feel more nauseous. Hatred occupied every crevice of your mind. Lottie stole your innocence just for her own agenda. Yet, she still remained certain that she was doing the correct thing. She’s blinded by the belief of a moral obligation.
Or maybe you’re not so sure. Maybe she knows what she’s doing is wrong, but she can’t bring herself to care. Maybe Lottie is more callous than you imagined. Maybe you should’ve doubted her sooner. Maybe you—
“So fucking close little dove,” Lottie whispers. “You can take it for me. I know you can.”
“Lottie no,” you begin protesting. “No, n-no. You’ll give me a baby. I-I don’t want a baby. P-Please, at least don’t cum inside.”
“You don’t get to make the decision. I’m only following what it wants.”
You thrash around, hoping Lottie’s cock will pop out of you. But your pussy only squeezes harder and secures Lottie nice and snug in your delicate cunt.
Lottie parts her lips, small gasps leaving as her pace reaches its highest point. She claws into your skin, her hips moving on their own. Both of you are linked by sweat and musk, the trees watching as a pair of survivors fuck raw in isolation.
Memories of Lottie flash into your head. Her taking the leadership role during winter, her leading the hunt on Travis during one faithful night. You pondered if you would be her next victim, if a second Doomcoming was in order.
You chase that thought of your brain. You can’t afford to bring yourself more dread.
Suddenly, a splash of warmth seeps into your cunt. Ropes and ropes of hot fluids drown your pussy in white. Lottie’s eyes rolls back, phrases in French being murmured as she empties herself. She keeps you pinned down until she’s sure that no drop has been plunged into your poor, abused hole.
You lay in the dirt, not accepting that you and Lottie are now tethered. You are a child of the wilderness and no matter how far you run, Lottie’s mark will not leave you. You’re stuck with her until one of you passes. You’re only hers and you’ll have to deal with the fact.
“The wilderness will be pleased,” Lottie says with a smile wider than ever before. “We’ll have food for months.”
The wilderness has had its wishes granted. So has Lottie. But at what cost?
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skygemspeaks · 3 months ago
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marvel universe dashboard simulator: spideytorch ship war edition
(part 2)
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🤟 spideyparktorchtruther Follow
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🕷️ spideyslut22468
god i'm so fucking tired of hearing about johnny fucking storm's love life. it's always spideytorch this, stormparker that, and now i have to deal with this new monstrosity of a ship? have we considered maybe leaving them alone? these are real ass people, why are you even shipping them anyways? go find some anime twinks to thirst over
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🧟 avgnwyrkr Follow
so anyways i still haven't stopped thinking about that one tiktok where the person saw spider-man chilling eating a hot dog one day and went up to him to ask him what he thought about peter parker and it was so obvious the person was trying to start some drama or whatever but instead spidey just apparently went on for like ten minutes about how awesome peter parker is and how good he is at photography and how smart he is and how they've been friends for like ten years
guys, what if we've been wrong all along? what if spidey really isn't in love with johnny? what if he's in love with peter instead?
😏 shutterbugsupremacy Follow
that's what i've been saying!! i mean guys? peter parker is LITERALLY the only photographer that spidey ever allows to get proper photos of him? he's been taking photos of spidey since he was in high school! he literally put out a photobook that was entirely pictures of spider-man.
🕷️ spideyslut22468
y'all are reaching so hard i'm surprised you haven't pulled a muscle. if parker was really in love with spidey would he have sold his pictures to a newspaper that does nothing but slander spider-man's good name? from what i've heard, jjj pays parker pretty well for his spider-man photos. he's not taking pictures of spidey out of love or anything, it's all just for money. same with the book. he's a sellout.
😏 shutterbugsupremacy Follow
hey man, we all gotta eat somehow, and spidey has said in the past that he doesn't care about parker working for the bugle. also, see above about the video where spidey talks about how awesome parker is. maybe you need to cool your jets, yeah?
🕷️ spideyslut22468
spider-man has been friends with johnny storm literally since the fantastic four came onto the superhero scene, obviously he's gonna play nice when asked about his best friend's long-term boyfriend regardless of how he actually feels about parker. y'all are just looking for signs where there aren't any.
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🥰 stormparkerownsmysoul
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look, i know that we've all had our differences in the past, but let us not think about what sets us apart, but rather what brings us all together.
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❎ superheroshipbrackets
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❤️‍🔥 spideytorchendgame Follow
me talking to anyone that will listen about my theory that peter parker is just a beard for johnny storm to help keep his actual relationship with spider-man a secret
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❤️‍🔥 spideytorchendgame Follow
like guys just hear me out okay? spider-man obviously wouldn't want his real identity to be well known to the public, and publicly dating johnny would put him at constant risk of being found out. so that's why they have johnny fake date peter parker! he's the perfect candidate! i mean, we all know he has ties to, like, a ridiculous number of superheroes. he's worked for both reed richards and tony stark, and people have snapped pics of him hanging out with captain america and deadpool. he's even been spotted with daredevil and daredevil hates everyone! so him dating johnny wouldn't really put him at any more danger of being targeted by villains than he was already in. and what's in it for peter? i mean, he gets to live in the baxter building (he probably has his own secret apartment and doesn't actually live with johnny) and probably gets a bunch of expensive gifts and stuff to compensate for all the shit he has to put up with for being johnny's partner.
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lovetei · 2 months ago
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Hello! I love your writing! Are the requests open? If yes, could you do the headcanon MC/reader married life with Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Simeon? (these four are my biases) Thank you! 😘💜
Yey!! I'm answering requests again let's go!!
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Married life with them, how does it go?
Versions: Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon
Warnings: Grammar errors, spelling errors, no proofreading, readers gender is not specified
Links: Masterlist, Rules
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LUCIFER
People know you as 'THE SPOUSE' because whenever he's about to blow up, you will be there to stop him
Your relationship is the type where Lucifer will put you to sleep first then secretly wake up to do his work
Then he will be hit by a flying slipper
Then he'll look to his side and saw you sitting up on the bed
Brows twitching out of annoyance and eyebags under your eyes
You HAVE to be fierce at times
Lucifer is known to be under Diavolo's control most of the time, he works for him.
So, there are quiet a few restrictions on his actions.
He could be fucking popping a nerve and will still not be able to fight back because he has to keep up Diavolo's reputation good.
So you do it for him.
One time, someone gave a rude comment to Lucifer
Imagine being rude to Lucifer bruh
And that person was in a quiet important position
So of course, he has to laugh it of like "Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha."
And que MC suddenly clearing her throat giving the most fake laugh while wide eyed staring at the man like "HA HA HA HA HA" with the most fake smile
Yeah
He's the type to ignore murder but draw the line at disrespecting his spouse
And you're the type to look at him while eating and think "Look at my man, ain't no way he's a murderer."
He is.
If Lucifer will SOMEHOW be charged of murder, which he really committed, MC would hold up a large sign outsid the prison, if it hasn't burned yet, with the words "FREE MY MAN"
To be honest, his whole thoughts on you just revolves around "Baby, you're freaky and strange. It's freaking me out." but continues watching and supporting you anyways.
You're just messing with him
Like, let the man have a break
You're the type of spouse to make a jerking hips movement while he's lecturing you tbh
DIAVOLO
So fun
Just shits and giggles
You don't argue, you bashes his head on concrete and he takes like a man with a smile
One time, he saw you struggling with gardening and he went outside to mess with you.
He asked, "Is this guy bothering you?" and pointed at the soil
You looked at him confused but nodded
Then he started punching the soil
He refuses to do extra paperwork now because he believes you're like those dog like
You know
Those dogs that know when their owner is coming home
And he believes that if he doesn't come home on time
You'll start howling like a pug on anesthesia
Yeah
And your vibes to him is like
"You poor thing." (Deregatory) (Sexual)
But you're his dream spouse
When he was a child, he likes those spouse that protects their BIGGER spouse
And he said "I like my spouse scary. Maybe I'll marry someone like them and they'll kill everyone who's ever said a bad thing about me."
He did marry one
You guys are a power couple though
You would attend the parties on matching clothes, especially tailored for the two of you
And he would be smiling like a puppy and you would be beside him glaring at whoever tries to be rude to him
But YOU know that HE knows who's naughty and nice
He'll deal with them when you're asleep
BARBATOS
"Yes, Baby. Your emotional wall is high and impenetrable. Can we kiss now?" — MC
It's just like that
I don't make the rules
Yeah, he's calm and collected
He's so stressed with you, everytime.
You're the menace and he's the leash
After using your magic, you would be leaning sexily on a wall in front of him
Coughing out BLOOD
Saying, "How do I look? Do I look good?" *Cough* "Was that hot?"
It wasn't.
He stands with his canceled spouse
Like
If everyone else is standing in front of his door, bloodied and bruise
He'll open his door IF and ONLY IF you're the one who knocked, or Diavolo
Then he'll open it
Grab you
Close the door
Open it again
Grad Diavolo
And let the rest of them bleed to death
He just loves you so much
Sometimes... ONLY SOMETIMES
When you tripped on the stairs and a lot of people saw it
He'll turn back time
ONLY SOMETIMES
Maybe not so sometimes
And by the way
If he has to move to another timeline
He will marry you
Over and over again
SIMEON
If you think you can bat your eyelashes at him and get whatever you want
Yes
Yes you can
He's so soft for you it's insane
It's so hot how his ring would shine when the slightest bit of life bounces of it
How it's cold metal would hit your skin when he cups your face and kisses you
How he absent mindedly fidget with it when he saw anything that reminded him of you
He's so soft
Like a cushion
Ready to catch you everytime you fall
He's also kind of clingy
But
Yeah, clingy
Everytime he wakes up and you're not there
He let's out the MOST dramatic sigh and think "The world is quiet cruel."
Chill, MC's in the kitchen making you guys food
But if you're indeed not there
He takes his suffering out on his book characters
Sexy evil bad bitch × quiet shy Boi (that can be a psycho)
He's a 10 but he doesn't mind that you're crazy so he's a 20
If you ask him the "What would you do if I turned into a worm?"
He'll answer the softest shit, "I'll build you a worm sanctuary, and take care of you."
Of course, after he said that you'll look up to the sky and thank father for his magic seed or whatever
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