#how does ME work?

[sillylotrpolls]

Didn't expect this one to have such a clear winner that wasn't "Gandalf is Pippin's granddad" (12.7%), but apparently the power of pipeweed is just that strong. Even if you add the votes for all three "non-hobbit ancestor" options it's still only 23%; not within even a statistical margin of error of "pipeweed's" 28.3%. (As a reminder, perfectly even distribution would result in 8.33% for each option.)

I was also surprised that "his name means 'old man'" placed third (10.8%), but then again, Tolkien fans do love their linguistics. And interestingly, "he borrowed the One Ring" and "he had a lesser magic ring" had very distant 11th- and 12th-place finishes, with only 0.9% and 0.7% of the vote respectively.

Other than that, not much to say beyond that I hope we see more fanfiction plumbing this clearly deep well of ideas.

(Credit and a truly absurd amount of context below the poll in case you don't know who the Old Took is.)

Today's poll looks at a question posed by @sindar-princeling:

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

In the notes on that post, the most popular theory by far was espoused by @mitsuhachiinthehive, who posited that Gandalf hooked up with a hobbit at some point and [some of] the Tooks are his descendants. This idea was further spread thanks to @the-haiku-bot.

Additional theories which I cribbed for poll options:

The diamond cufflinks were magical in more ways than one @elodieunderglass

He drank an ent-draught courtesy of the missing ent wives @betterofflost

He got hold of a random magic elven ring @morgulscribe

If you would like some a lot of context from canon so you can decide for yourself, more information about the Old Took is beneath the cut.

First off, it's established multiple times in the books what a big deal it was for Bilbo to beat Old Took's record. From The Return of the King:

He opened his eyes and looked up as they came in. 'Hullo, hullo!' he said. 'So you've come back? And tomorrow's my birthday, too. How clever of you! Do you know, I shall be one hundred and twenty-nine? And in one year more, if I am spared, I shall equal the Old Took. I should like to beat him; but we shall see.' [...] Little Elanor was nearly six months old, and 1421 had passed to its autumn, when Frodo called Sam into the study. 'It will be Bilbo's Birthday on Thursday, Sam,' he said. 'And he will pass the Old Took. He will be a hundred and thirty-one!' 'So he will!' said Sam. 'He's a marvel!'

Here's a biography on the old hobbit from Tolkien Gateway:

After the death of his father in 1248, Gerontius became the twenty-sixth Thain of the Shire. He was a friend of Gandalf, who gave him a pair of magic diamond studs and performed firework tricks during Gerontius' midsummer-eve parties. Gerontius Took reached the impressive age of 130, which made him the oldest Hobbit until his grandson Bilbo Baggins celebrated his 131st Birthday. He also held the record of most offspring, until Samwise Gamgee bested him with Tom's birth in S.R. 1442.

And from Tolkien Gateway's page on the Took Family:

Tooks were mainly of Fallohide Hobbit stock, and had quite a reputation for unusual behavior (among other things being more adventurous than the other Hobbits), a quality not valued in the Shire. For this they would be seen as less respectable, but those traits were "tolerated" thanks to their large numbers and wealth. An absurd legend among other families, was that one of the Took ancestors married a fairy. The Wizard Gandalf was a known, if disreputable, associate.

Here we have Gandalf introducing himself to Bilbo in The Hobbit. Note that Belladonna Took is one of the Old Took's 12 (!!) children.

“Yes, yes, my dear sir—and I do know your name, Mr. Bilbo Baggins. And you do know my name, though you don’t remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means me! To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took’s son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!” “Gandalf, Gandalf! Good gracious me! Not the wandering wizard that gave Old Took a pair of magic diamond studs that fastened themselves and never came undone till ordered? Not the fellow who used to tell such wonderful tales at parties, about dragons and goblins and giants and the rescue of princesses and the unexpected luck of widows’ sons? Not the man that used to make such particularly excellent fireworks! I remember those! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer’s Eve. Splendid! They used to go up like great lilies and snapdragons and laburnums of fire and hang in the twilight all evening!” You will notice already that Mr. Baggins was not quite so prosy as he liked to believe, also that he was very fond of flowers. “Dear me!” he went on. “Not the Gandalf who was responsible for so many quiet lads and lasses going off into the Blue for mad adventures? Anything from climbing trees to visiting elves—or sailing in ships, sailing to other shores! Bless me, life used to be quite inter—I mean, you used to upset things badly in these parts once upon a time. I beg your pardon, but I had no idea you were still in business.” “Where else should I be?” said the wizard. “All the same I am pleased to find you remember something about me. You seem to remember my fireworks kindly, at any rate, and that is not without hope. Indeed for your old grandfather Took’s sake, and for the sake of poor Belladonna, I will give you what you asked for.”

And for context, Sam was 102 when he sailed West, Merry was at least 103 and almost certainly older when he died, and Pippin at least 95. The uncertainty is because Tolkien describes their last years thus in the Appendices:

1484 In the spring of the year a message came from Rohan to Buckland that King Éomer wished to see Master Holdwine once again. Meriadoc was then old (102) but still hale. He took counsel with his friend the Thain [Pippin], and soon after they handed over their goods and offices to their sons and rode away over the Sam Ford, and they were not seen again in the Shire. It was heard after that Master Meriadoc came to Edoras and was with King Éomer before he died in that autumn. Then he and Thain Peregrin went to Gondor and passed what short years were left to them in that realm, until they died and were laid in Rath Dínen among the great of Gondor. 1541 In this year on March 1st came at last the Passing of King Elessar. It is said that the beds of Meriadoc and Peregrin were set beside the bed of the great king. Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in the Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring.

[hinamie]

10 years later

[bean-spring]

Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.

Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.

You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.

"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.

"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.

I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.

Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.

Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[captainjonnitkessler]

I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Ghouls night out

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[artist-rat]

quick existential crisis vibe check 👍

[gordonfreemanspussy]

happy october :]

@scienceteamtober day 1: before the game

with lovely beautiful awesome forever character art by @winkreallyisntable goes CRAZY!!! full art below the cut.

[aethersea]

I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.

it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"

plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.

anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.

[sillylotrpolls]

This was fun! The winner was "super glue" with "magic" only four votes behind and "hammer really hard" a close third. I think it's safe to say the elves of Rivendell are privy to magical forging techniques the likes of which we will never see here on Adjectiveless-earth.

In the notes are a few methods that hadn't occurred to me when I was forging (heh) the poll:

@thedangermakesitfun suggests the most obvious answer I forgot (and I survived the duct tape memes of the early 2000s!):

uhhh… duct tape? strongest of all materials, plus it's also silver so you wouldn't be able to tell from a distance.

@jadechasegranger considers the possibility of enchantments on the sword:

I… thought there were enchantments? Of some kind? But now that I’m thinking about it almost anything “magic” about the sword had more to do with the fact that Isildur’s Heir was wielding it. As for whether or not to preserve them, I think it’s both possible that the old enchantments held and that they should be preserved. Could you imagine a cloak of Lorien losing its ability to hide you because it was torn? And, being forged at the height of Elven and Mannish civilization, such ancient magic would be both rare and useful in combating the Enemy. However, as the smiths drew new devices upon Andúril, it doesn’t seem that this is the case

@lkaluna suggests not just welding, but using a melted shard of the sword itself as the filler material:

#I never seriously thought about that but I think I always imagined them to have melted down the smallest piece#and then used it to weld the rest together somehow?#Kind of like a metal hot glue just slightly reshape the other pieces as needed.

@269-million suggests... placing a bet with the sword? Sure, why not.

@kasualkaymer inspired a discussion on the possibilities of casting the sword rather than forging it.

And finally, @theelfmaiden and @fistfuloflightning shared the relevant Man At Arms videos in which they actually break and remake (a replica of) Narsil. Note, however, that the video is called Men At Arms, not Elves At Arms, so their methodology unfortunately can't be considered definitive.

Thanks everyone for participating!

Today's poll inspired by this post by @taleasoldastime-andspace, who was watching knife-making competition show Forged in Fire and asked the obvious lotr-related question, and @fistfuloflightning.

In the book, Narsil is broken into two shards (or possibly, only two large shards were recovered). In the movie, Narsil is shown in about five or six pieces. You can headcanon however many shards you like for your answer.

From Tolkien Gateway:

Elendil carried Narsil in the Battle of Dagorlad where it shone with the light of the Sun and Moon, and then in the Siege of Barad-dûr; but Sauron killed him and the sword broke into two pieces under him as he fell, and its light was extinguished. Elendil's son Isildur took up the sword and used its shard to cut the One Ring from the hand of Sauron. Isildur took the shards home with him. Shortly before Isildur was killed in the second year of the Third Age in the Disaster of the Gladden Fields, the shards were rescued by Ohtar, esquire of Isildur. He took them to Rivendell, where Isildur's youngest son Valandil was fostered, but Elrond foretold that it wouldn't be reforged until the One Ring was found again and Sauron returned.

From The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Part 2: Chapter 3: The Ring Goes South:

The Sword of Elendil was forged anew by Elvish smiths, and on its blade was traced a device of seven stars set between the crescent Moon and the rayed Sun, and about them was written many runes; for Aragorn son of Arathorn was going to war upon the marches of Mordor. Very bright was that sword when it was made whole again; the light of the sun shone redly in it, and the light of the moon shone cold, and its edge was hard and keen. And Aragorn gave it a new name and called it Andúril, Flame of the West.

[delicourse]

i miss them a little if im gonna be honest

[ronihilator]

SCREENCAP REDRAW OF LANCE! (ft. headcanons because fuck you)

[bookalicent]

yeah so this was insane

[tesseractingrey]

i think one of the coolest things about dan howell is the example he sets of how your life isn’t over at 25, and one person won’t fix your life but you still can. dan met his actual soulmate at 18 and is only now, in his 30s, finding true and genuine happiness and fulfillment. meeting phil didn’t automatically solve all his problems, although he was clearly a significant part of the motivation to bother doing the work at all. but dan still put in the work himself for YEARS to improve himself and his life and it WORKED. your life isn’t over if you aren’t completely happy and fulfilled and the person you wish you could be in your 20s. putting in the work takes time but it is WORTH IT.

[hellenhighwater]

If you don't mind me asking, do you know if Malice and Vice are forest cats? Vice looks like my own norwegian forest cat so I can't help but wonder :,] Feel free to ignore or not answer if you don't want to! Also Mayhem is wonderful and a personality from your posts, she will be a force when growing up

Like the overwhelming majority of cats, their breed is "domestic cat." "Domestic longhair," if you want to be fancy. With extremely few exceptions, if a cat is not from a registered breeder with the papers to prove it, their breed is just cat. Cat breeds do not work like dog breeds, where it's quite common to have mutts with obvious breed traits. Cat breeds are generally very new, as a thing. Sometimes people like to call their cats by breed names but the number of cats in a given breed is vanishingly small compared to the total population of cats. So Mal isn't a Chantilly Tiffany, even if she looks like one; Vice isn't a Nebelung, even if he fits the breed standards, and Mayhem isn't a Turkish Van, even if I want to call her one.

Cats are mostly just cats, and the correct way to describe shelter mutts like mine is by using color and coat terminology. So Malice is just a black longhair; Vice is a grey (or, if you like to get a little fun, a blue) longhair. Mayhem is what we'd typically call a calico, though it's not incorrect to call her tortoiseshell with white, since a lot of her color is more mottled than clear patches. You could also call her a tortico!

I call her a problem.