#how do you tag oc fics. also just like this fic in general cause what

[occasionallysiren]

hey remember how i was going to put pyrites first bit of writing on ao3

[franki-lew-yo]

Mouthwashing and fandom discourse as a whole.

So I recently explored the tag for Mouthwashing after watching two no-commentary lets plays of the entire game. I'm seeing a lot of posts pointing out how annoying it is that this game has a fandom and that this fandom is doing fandom things and stanning/"uwu-ing" characters from this incredibly nuanced, raw and not-fandom friendly piece of art. To paraphrase someone I just saw "you don't want mouthwashing; you want Among Us ocs but darker". And

for a moment I wanna talk a bit about how I absolutely agree with this statement while also talk for a moment about how and why fandom and catharsis fan fics exist and shouldn't be shamed inherently. Or, I guess, not in theory.

The "come on! Stop trying to make everything shippable/cutsey/memey/have a happy AU and face unpleasant emotions someone's trying to tell you about!" is SUCH a vibe with me. I felt this way in the 9 fandom a lot as a kid and that was just 9. Mouthwashing is like 9 on bathsalts emotions and theme-wise. It's a game where you play as both the flawed but caring captain of a doomed ship who's life becomes a Johnny Got His Gun-nightmare, and also a deplorable, hateful piece of garbage who got himself and his friend in that nightmare situation to begin with. Both characters, moreso Jimmy but Curly too, are the causes of their own misery. They're complex dealing with one of the two committing SA and doing nothing really about it/dodging the responsibility and humanity needed to support the victim whom they've wronged.

I fully admit it's groan-inducing seeing people be shipped up Anya with anyone on the ship considering what happens to her. On a pure pr level I think it would be illegal even since romance between coworkers in a workplace is considered conflict of interest/harassment as it so often is. (NOT that what Jimmy did to Anya is 'romance'. I'm talking about the shipping of Anya with the other three guys. I know there's people out there who do ship Jimmy/Anya; you don't have to tell or show me I believe you and also I already hate it.) It's ALSO groan inducing to see people ship Curly and Jimmy considering all Curly does to him- and just the fact that this incredibly tragic, toxic one-way-gone array friendship is reduced to "toxic yaoi teehee". It's annoying AT BEST.

I get the hostility towards fandom-tastic stanning and fandom behavior in general...the issue is it's still hostility and I wish some of you guys got that. Like it or not (you don't have to like it) fandom culture is inevitable to some degree. You can and should complain about your hangups but that's all you can do besides avoiding tags and just not engaging with that side of the fandom at some point. Save your call-outs and rage for when you see active deplorable bs being committed that people are excusing for dumb fandom reasons, like lolicon, hatespeech or harassment. I'm sorry but you can not actively go after and try and take down the innocent people involved in your trigger that aren't directly hurting you by liking the thing that triggers you; ie. people who get all shipping and fandom-brained about Mouthwashing's characters which you find offensive to do at all.

This type of convo is the crux of most 'antifandom' v profandom discourse in general; for Antis I think there ought to be a difference between the people that set you off bcuz of fandom nonsense vs sociopathic 'got mine'-creepiness. There's a difference between someone who draws r34 v Shadbase. For profandom types you out to face the fact that yes- maybe NOT EVERYTHING is meant to be shippable/memed. Maybe try practicing that a bit. Yeah it's most harmless and makes you feel happy, but considering how people outside of your hyperfixation-of-a-hyperfixation is a thing. The thing about the "don't like, don't read" argument is it goes both ways. If you're truly a "good fan" like you say you are than you have to realize that people will not like your problematicisms. Learn to interact with characters and stories without the possibility of shipping sometimes- or at least understand that that's the crux of what makes a story like Mouthwashing engaging, even if you also partake in the fandumb and AUs on the side. You can call Curly your babygirl and ship him or make him happy all you want but PLEASE acoknowledge that the game doesn't woobify him or excuse what he did to Anya as well. You can make some kind of AU scenario where Jimmy gets out somehow and becomes/is a slightly better person for all I care...so long as you PLEASE remember that he is canonically a r@pist and awful. Also, even if I'm okay with your fan decisions, note that myself and others are still going to be critical and be upset that you wrote it at all because of what kind of character Jimmy is. 'Critical' =/= declaring something evil.

Fandom behaviors are not souly a destructive parasocial outcome of brainrot; they're also a natural reaction to what happens canonically and the emotions you have to experiencing a story. It's normal and rational to sympathize and love Curly and despise and hate Jimmy. You can love/like/enjoy a problematic-to-DEEPLY DISTURBED-character based on their complexity in canon. They are fiction. They are not real. The reason you are so invested with them is because of that complexity and yes because they are fiction they are your 'toy' and you can doll them up in any kind of speculative AU crap you make. That's fanfiction, baby. Make yourself a fixit fic if you really want

BUT-

remember: it stays as a fixit fic. DO NOT cross the streams, or insist that your active misreading of the text is the same as the text itself. EVER. You should care about your special interest's escapism as a means of self-care. What you shouldn't do is demand that EVERYONE ELSE LOVE your coping mechanism and that any complaints by people on their own terms on their own blogs is #badfaith or an inherent attack against you. It isn't. You'll know when it is an attack against you and that's when you, the profandom-type, need to be prepared and save your call-out posts and blocklist for.

To me that's the fragility to fandom debates and fandom as a whole. You can not/should not police or control an entire group of people and how they perceive or interact with media. That's not fair and it's definitely not sporting or decent of you in a community. You have to share your community -your fandom- with people who hate ur fav and people who love your least fav. Agreeing to disagree means not tagging your nOTP as their shipname or by tagging your shipname loud and clear. It means filtering out posts with those topics but enjoying and/or reblogging the fandom takes you do share with your fellow fandom-mite that obviously posts abt those topics.

When schmit REALLY goes down and some assface reviewer/fan/SOMETHING is being an assface or doing something amoral under the guise of fandom-ing, that's where you out to put your foot down. Callouts and complaints are for people who did an egregious thing and refuse to take responsibility(lol) for it. They're not for "soandso likes the thing that triggers me, kill them"/"so and so is hating on the thing I'm kinning because it triggers them, kill them". Be an adult.

Your DNI lists should consist of "lolicon defenders" not "proshippers", as those ARE NOT one in the same. Same goes the other way around. List off "bigots, purity culture bs", not "antis and critics". These positions ARE NOT interchangeable. If you make them interchangeable than you're making things a lot harder for yourself.

-sincerely, a message from autistic ADHD/OCD woman who likes horror and media analysis as much as she loves popcorn fanfic schlock.

We don't all have to be friends and buddybuds. I just hate us hurting each other over being different kind of fandom-folk rather than for when someone sincerely mucks up and does something bad. Can't we all stick to our guns and just boycott Harry Potter like god intended?

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 8

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!Reader/oc x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Santi wallows and Candy is hurt.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!: Deep internalized homophobia

Amazing smut by Fen as always!!! send love their way!!!

2.3k words

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Santi flinched when he heard another plate crash against the wall, thrown by mamí’s hand and hurdled towards his sister. They were screaming at each other again, and it was bad this time. Elaina had been caught by a neighbor boy's mom, naked in bed with that neighbor boy and brought her to mamí for punishment. Santi had woken from his sleep to the knock, and when he opened his eyes to see Elaina’s bed was empty, he knew it was her. It was always her. Why couldn’t she listen? Why couldn’t she just behave? She caused mamí so much stress when she already worked so hard. Look where they were, the three of them living in a small 2 bedroom apartment, the two siblings were still sharing a room at 14 and 10. She needed to do better for mamí.

“Libertina!” Mamí shouts, slapping Elaina across the face. “How dare you disrespect me! How dare you embarrass your brother!”

Santi didn’t feel embarrassed. Should he feel embarrassed? Mamí said it was embarrassing. Yeah, yeah he felt embarrassed. Humiliated even.

“Mamí! Just listen! I’m trying to talk to you!” Elaina is crying, crumpled clothes had noticeable tearing at the collar. 

“Callate!! No quiero escuchar a una puta fea!” Mamí reaches for her shoe. Santiago closes his eyes, clenching his little hands up into fists, squeezing them every time he hears the smack.

*

When it was all said and done, Elaina was sobbing in her bed, and Santiago was pulled onto his mother's lap. He had the distinct feeling he was too old for this, but he didn’t protest. Mamí didn’t like when he said he was too old for something, or grew out of anything. He outgrew a pair of jeans last week and she cried about how soon he’d find another woman and leave her. She said he was hers. Her little man. Her esposito. Her Santito.

Mamí held him close, arms wrapped around his body as they watched TV, up past his bedtime, telling him how good he was, how he could never leave her.

“Don’t you ever leave, Santito, bueno? No woman will ever love you like I do. They’ll only hurt my baby. They won’t cook for you, women anymore don’t take care of their men. They don’t clean either. I’ll take care of you, always, just never leave me for another woman. As long as you are my good esposito, I’ll take care of my Santito.”

*

Santi would leave, eventually, but not for another woman. He left to join the military to pay for his mom's bills when she wasn’t making ends meet as she got sicker. Elaina took care of her, despite everything she put Elaina through. Elaina became someone Santi admired deeply, seeing her for who she was. She wasn’t the problem child. She wasn’t a menace. She was a normal kid. It was Santi that was strange. The guys in the force razzed him over his relationship with his mom, telling him his wife wrote him when a letter from his mom came. They also made fun of him for going to mass weekly or more, for praying even in the field, for not fucking the local women they encountered, but being called gay wasn’t anything new to him. He was called that in high school, along with a myriad of racial slurs.

Frankie never made fun of him, neither did Will. Ben did, but it was just friendly, nothing mean. Nothing like Tom. Will was religious, raised baptist and respected Santi’s ongoing commitment. Ben was a bit of a mama’s boy too, just not as bad as Santi. Frankie didn’t have a relationship with his family, so he thought it was sweet.

Santi thought it was normal. It was normal to constantly worry what your mom thought, whether or not you acted on it.

When Santi finally left his mom's grasp after she fell asleep on the couch, he felt a tightness in his chest. There was a sense that something was deeply wrong for laying there with his mom, a feeling that he was too old, that he didn’t want to do that anymore… but then a deep guilt for leaving her for the comfort of his own bed. He never knew what the right choice was, constantly second guessing every move he made when he went to war with his own wants and his mom's. Cracking the door to the room he shared with Elaina in their small apartment, he heard her crying. At first, he considered going back to the couch where mamí lay… but in addition to being mamí’s esposito he knew he needed to be there for Elaina too.

When he lay in his bed, Elaina eventually spoke. “She didn’t even ask what happened.” She sobbed. “I didn’t want to… I didn’t, but he- he- he, and his friends…” She broke down in heavy heaves once again, crying as the welts mamí gave her began to show in the moonlight and Santi began to realize what had happened to her. When she began to calm down, Elaina turned to him, her face set in anger he didn’t think was directed at him but he could never tell.

“Don’t you ever do that to a woman, do you hear me? If I ever catch you acting like that, I swear to god Santi, I swear to god…”

She never did finish that sentence, and Santi didn’t sleep that night, but he promised. He would never disrespect a woman, never. He would be a better man than their dad, than the men who did that to his sister. He’d make mamí and Elaina proud, he’d follow the word of God. He’d be good for his mamí. He’d make her proud. He’d be her good Santito.

*

“Good boy, Santito”

Cold ran down his back, through his torso and into his heart where it pumped the icy anxiety into every vein. He felt sick. Santi thought of his mom, thought of what she must think of him right now, what Jesus must think of him… in bed with a woman who isn’t his wife, kissing a man, feeling his erection in his pants as their bodies pressed into each other… and Elaina, what would she think of soliciting a prostitute?

He needed to go. He had to go. He had to get out of this room and maybe throw up and maybe switch jobs and go to confession and punish himself… he caused Candy to sin, he caused Javi to sin, if they go to hell it’s his fault, he’s going to hell, he’s going to burn in hell now and-

Santi realized he was already walking down the street, not remembering how he got there. He paid her right? Did he? Great now he was a sexual sinner and a thief. What was wrong with him? So many things… so many things…

Tucking himself into an ally, he doesn’t make it far before he starts throwing up, the little food he’s been able to get down coming back up. This is why his pants were falling off. He was a fucking disaster. He was a failure to everyone around him, he couldn’t even catch Lorea. There was no stopping the tears that came as he laid down on the disgusting floor. There was a needle by his leg and Santi was pretty sure someone had defecated nearby but he wasn’t in control of his own body anymore. The guilt was crippling, the sadness exhausting… He wanted to call Javi, Javi would make it better… but there was no better, was there?

It wasn’t going to be better.

Santi laid there until the sun set.

Javi opens his front door on the fourth knock, not bothering to check who is there before he flings it open, a scowl plastered to his features. 

His expression quickly softens when he sees you. Sees the redness to your eyes. 

“Cand-”

“Can I come in?” You cut him off quickly, you don’t want to see that sympathetic look, you don’t want to see worry in his eyes. This isn’t about that. 

You swallow down your emotions, force them down. Don’t think about Santi, don’t think about Santi, don’t think about Santi. 

You push past him before he can even answer, ducking under his arm that is holding open the door. 

“I… yeah?” He turns, shutting it and following you as you walk into the room. “What-”

Enough questions. You don’t need questions. 

You kiss him forcefully, slipping your tongue past his lips and lightly walking him backwards. 

Taken by surprise, he goes with the kiss, groaning softly. Your lips only break apart as you push him back onto his sofa. 

He tries again to speak. Tries to break through the shield you’ve put up. 

You don’t let him, dropping quickly to your knees between his legs and palming him through his joggers. 

He bites back a moan, eyes closing for a second as his body reacts on autopilot. His cock twitches under the warmth of your hand.

You don’t let him compose himself, pulling his soft dick from his clothes and quickly lean forward and take him into your mouth. 

He hardens quickly, growing as you swallow and bob until he nudges at the back of your throat. You groan, swirling your tongue as you deep throat him, taking him deeper. 

Javi’s moans grow in volume, mutters of praise slipping past his lips as the sounds rumble in his chest.

“Santi…” you whine as you come hard against him.

 “I wasn’t finished.” He smiles cheekily.

“Good boy, Santito.”

You choke, spluttering for a second as you breathe at the wrong time. 

“Baby,” Javi pulls you off him, salvia drinks down your chin as he takes your face in your hands. Worry in his eyes. 

That fucking look again.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I was just wondering if you… wanted some company tonight…” You say softly. “Free of charge?”

You hold his gaze as he looks over your face. You know that expression too. The one of a detective. You just wanted a distraction, and he could give it.

But after a moment he nods and doesn’t press further. 

You pull off your clothes quickly and climb into his lap when Javi has barely taken off his t-shirt. You waste little time, taking him again in your hand and pumping twice between you line yourself up with him and sink down. 

He groans, screwing his eyes up tight. 

You shiver. He’s big, and even though you’re used to him your body still reacts a little in surprise, clenching and hampering your intentions. 

You frown, wriggling, trying to take more and more even and fight the resistance. 

When Javi’s eyes meet yours you want to scream. To cry. 

You don’t want those soft eyes. You don’t need them.

Oh god, how much you need them. 

He doesn’t speak, doesn’t push. Simply rubs his thumb against your clit while his other hand holds your hip and stops you from trying to sink further down. 

It takes less than a minute for a spark of pleasure to run along your skin, for your hips to rock and for you to throw your head back in a soft moan. 

He gently pushes you down onto him, filling you and stretching you wide before he moves and flips you onto your back on the sofa with him above you. 

He thrusts slow and deep until you're digging your nails into his back and sobbing his name as he sucks bruises into your neck in time with the rapid rock and grind of his hips. 

“Javi…” You tense, gasping as your pleasure crests suddenly, overpowering and relentless. Robbing you of thought for one blissful moment. 

“That’s it, bebé, that’s it…” He whispers into your ear, slowing his thrusts but not stopping completely, letting you breathe and recover for a minute before he starts to build up again. “I’ve got you.” 

When you’ve settled, naked on his chest, Javi holds you close. He has a way of sensing when you need him, of when you need the extra touch and he’s there to give it.

A gentle kiss to the tip of your ear. “Do you wanna talk about it, Candy?” His voice was soft, letting you know you don’t have to answer. But you did, because it was Javi, your Javi, and you needed him.

“Santi’s mad at me.” You sniffle, clinging to him as the tears come for the hundredth time. “I- I don’t know what I did, but he just left- he left right after we… he wouldn’t even look at me, and he won’t talk me and it’s stupid, Javi I know it’s stupid because he’s a client, he’s just a client but, but-”

“Candy.” Long fingers tangle in your hair. “I know hes not just a client. It’s okay. You’re human. It’s normal for you- for us- to feel things… and I know how it feels to… feel… for him…”

You pause at that, then finally pull yourself off his sticky skin to look down at him. Your hair falls around, closing off the two of you to the world. “You… do?”

The look Javi gave you made your heart clench tight, something you’ve never seen in him. Worry. 

He gives a small nod. “He’s um… not talking to me either. I… kissed him… on friday. And he ran away so… I don’t think this is about you.”

You regard him curiously. You weren’t stupid, you were aware that those two were making goo goo eyes at each other for months, so this wasn’t a huge shock, and you and Javi were both on the same page of who gave a shit if someone was gay. You’d fucked plenty of girls during threesomes and group sex, and Javi…. Well, live and let live sort of man. But you didn’t expect the kiss at all.

Rolling over, you flop onto the bed beside him.

“You know how he is… guilt over everything… just a ball of anxiety. I wish… I wish I could take it away from him. I do. I wish I didn’t feel the way I did, but I do. It’s all gotten so… complicated.”

Javi’s hand takes yours, giving you a squeeze. “Yeah. it has.”

***************

thanks so much for waiting!!!!! it's been 5 ever, but not for lack of trying on my part. its been one thing after aother and then all of a sudden its been like 6 months????

anyway thank you to fen for everything, y deepest love to you always!!!!!!!

2 chapters left!!!!

love santi? want him dark?

Love Santi? Want him soft?

Joel handmiads tale au?

Want some dark logan howlett?

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolboydivision @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor@solar-fics

[gomzdrawfr]

want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

[astralnymphh]

I just got on and saw what’s been happening and bro…I’m glad people are talking about it. Mostly about the smut, inclusivity, Palestine, and the fetishization of trans people.

Reading smut is so underwhelming like it seems like that’s all what people write these days. Like I need ANGST! I need to CRY! I need SLOW BURN AND PLOT….

And to be honest, I personally feel like some writers purposely list the reader’s physical descriptions as being white… like damn you know multiple people are going to come across your shit. I would get annoyed asf when I see something like “she touched your soft pale flushed skin” BITCH- 💀 don’t piss me off 😒🦶🏽

I won’t speak too in depth about the fetishization of trans people in fanfics because I’m not trans and I don’t want to say anything inaccurate BUT I will say it’s so disturbing and off putting seeing shit like that and seeing how people are sexualizing trans people more than treating them like regular humans…I also came across that ‘femcel’ series and🧍🏽‍♀️erm… no.

I appreciate the account who made the post discussing how the word trans and the f word are completely different. I didn’t even know that word was derogatory and it shocked me... I hope that account takes it down and they educate themselves or something cause 🙁👎🏽

yes pook YES smut can be underwhelming and so overdone. we definitely need more angst/fluff.. or just PLOT in general. no, i'm not saying don't write it at all (incase anons twist my words, cause.. they're good at that.) i'm just saying that it would be nice to see some fully fleshed out pieces with emotion and storytelling. i have something in the works though, that encompasses all genres (fluff/smut/angst) so, there's that!

people will so clearly write the whole petite pale white girl bs like "ur delicate small hand" or the fuckass "doey eyed and blushing cherub red" like NEVER portray reader so specifically unless you're going to specify it in the cw!!!! do whatever for ellie's white ass but for the love of gods and goddess BE AWARE OF READER AS A SPOT TO FILL, NOT AN OC!!!! idk how else to describe what i just said. but. it is said. so it. yeah. that whole delicate small petite thing kinda trickles into writing childlike readers too but. thats a whole nother discussion. no clue if i ever used that phrasing in the past tho i have no bold memories of my writings in detail.

i think people will listen to anybody but trans people who are actively calling it fetishization, like. all the mfs arguing with them say "trans and f💀ta aren't the same!" yeah. they aren't. cause one is like, a genuine, flesh and bone person.. with a whole story.. and feelings.. and experiences.. and one is.. fetishization. how many times do trans people have to repeat that? bet most of the people trying to argue against it aren't even trans.

the whole thing about authors "flooding" the tlou tag with palestine posts is also dumb as fuck. is scrolling a bit too taxing on your poor smut-guzzling thumbs?? ur scrolling over big booty fics, i think you can scroll a little further past those posts if you're really that much of a basement dwelling fuck that's sitting comfortably in their homes while a genocide is happening. out here sobbing cause people are spreading awareness. eat my bum bum booty. ++ also add-on cause we're holding writers accountable for ignoring a strike (different than not knowing at first) but there's also the artists!! they're there too.

anons r gonna come into my inbox abt all this but i'm not even gonna answer like, don't waste your time. im not reading all that. especially coming from an ANON 💀

me when

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty ch. 5

A Homelander X F! Reader and Dadlander fic.

A/N: prev. chapters available in my pin post, if ya like to be added to my taglist feel free to drop a comment with a request. I wanted to post this tomorrow but yeah am a liar with ADHD UwU.

Tags: mild gore, angsts, lots of angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance... i guess i should also say unhealthy/toxic relationship.

Chapter five

Thick lines.

Ryan and Helena were exhausted, most of the obstacle course had been partially destroyed, the walls damaged quite severely, and the ceiling was dented, Homelander had learned two things: 1) Ryan holds back too much– too afraid to harm, too afraid to break things, too afraid of his own powers as if they would come right-back around and harm him, and 2) Helena’s forcefield could take a beating, it had taken Ryan quite a bit of rage for it to start cracking, the girl continued to taunt hi, calling him inept, throwing insults without care before it cracked down.

She had learned her limits, making notes for future reference.

So here he was putting pressure on her arm, as she bled profusely.

Ryan was crying blaming himself, while Homelander took her to the labs. The girl didn’t cry much, seemingly just angry, only wincing as her father squeezed her arm with curses in her lips.

You had run out of the kitchen, guards refusing you entry to the labs, while you demanded entry Homelander had emerged and ordered them to step aside, throwing daggers at them as he took your hand.

You cried as you saw the bandages on her arm, you cried harder when she wrapped her arms around you, bawling and shaking underneath them.

Homelander calmly explained that she ended up with twenty stitches and some blood transfusion, but she was fine, no bone had been touched and her body was healing slowly.

You barely listened.

When was the last time you saw her cry? She was a quiet baby, a perfect baby, by the time she could talk, crying seemed redundant when she could simply spell it out for you.

“What did you do!?” You picked your child, retreating from him– I fucking qu–

“It was my fault…” Ryan said drying his sobs– I’m sorry.”

“It was an accident. The kids got a little heated during training… I should’ve stepped in earlier.”

Homelander took Ryan under his arm.

You stared at the kid, then back at your own.

“Helena did you–” You stroke her back– Sorry that my daughter antagonized you… It won’t happen again.”

Your voice was quiet, unable to look at either child.

“Let’s go get your stuff. My apologies, Homelander but I won’t be able to continue my work today. She won’t be a cause of future concern…” You wanted to quit and leave this tower forever.

He lets you go, no doctor tried stopping you either, but you wouldn’t let your daughter stay at Vought, a nurse informed you to come back to change the bandages in two days but you rather take her to an actual hospital.

You looked at him knowing he was going to come around.

Coffee already on the stove and biscuits on the table already waiting for him.

“How is she?” He was genuine.

“She says it's too itchy… but her arm is alright.” you scratch at your head.

“You look tired.”

“I haven’t slept for almost a decade… that’s just my face now.”

“You didn’t quit.” He sat beside you on the big round-table, turning pale as you saw him sit on his cape, his eyes reddened as he tried to look calm– are you quitting?”

“I dunno. Helena can be pretty abrasive. I’m sorry your son fell for it, she doesn’t mean it…  she just thinks that people are going to be cruel, so she’s cruel first.”

“Why?” He presses taking a quick glance at the livingroom and the misplaced toys.

“Try being in a classroom full of teenagers and be the smartest one in the whole room, they just see a smug midget who thinks she’s better than anybody else– they’re mean… kids in general are mean… but she eventually just scares them enough… there were other kids she’d hurt, nothing too severe.”

You stayed in silence not knowing if you should ask him to leave or not. If you should let him be privy of those events.

“She knows.”

“You!”

“She either figured it out or used her powers to find out.” He rested his elbow on the table stroking his tired eyes– I didn’t tell her but she would’ve noticed there was something going on.”

You yawned, taking a couple sips of coffee as he copied you. The silence unbearable and your eyes heavy and aching, gawking at him made you think of her.

“Your eyes and lips are identical.” That was an unusual smile on your face– when she was born that was the first thing I noticed, the second was that mop of hair on her head… she had so much hair and it was so long, but those were your eyes… sadly, you know I always thought your nose was your best feature but she got mine.”

You stood up asking him to follow you to the living room with a finger, taking a seat on the same sofa you refused to throw away.

“Tell me about her… Becca never had the chance… I cleaned that house and found pictures and trinkets, but without the stories I can only speculate. I don’t know his first words, the first time he walked, his first time riding a bike… I don’t know anything. She never wanted to tell me.” He leaned closer, his hand close to yours but never touching– Ryan is sorry, he was quite shaken.”

“Her first word was ‘morning’.” You spoke wanting to indulge, wanting to seem better for some reason.

You told him stories, there had been a time when you fantasized sharing all these moments with him, when you were younger and stupider. When you two began to get too serious, when he had called you baby, darling and honey with genuine affection, when you watched him sleep and caressed his hair awake. You’d dreamed of drinking wine while your kids slept by his side at one point and in this forced intimacy you could be as deluded as he was just in case he was holding something nefarious over your head.

You let him know about her silly things, about her first love… the chemistry set you bought her when she was five. About how she lived in their local library and everybody knew her by name, about how some of the kids expected her to become Brooklyn’s finest, about her hatred of pistachio and strong emotions about bird keeping.

You never expected to talk to him like this after everything, but today has been a rollercoaster and you simply hadn't been in you to fight, not now when your daughter knew, you were doing this to yourself so you couldn’t fight it, you gave him morsels and crumbs because you had no one to talk about this things.

“Is Ryan alright?” You asked leaning away from him, the night was so dark and only the kitchen in the back lit the house– it must’ve been so scary.”

“He was pretty shaken. Took me a lot to get him to stop crying…”

“Helena won’t hold any grudges… I think… I got an idea… has Ryan ever been to Coney Island? Maybe we can take the kids to the boardwalk, have hotdogs and hit the aquarium, Helena will not misbehave in there.” You put your empty cup on the coffee table– they can make up.”

He gave you a tired smile, knowing he had to head home soon but wanting to talk some more.

“Are you angry at her?” He asks weakly.

“She would’ve hurt Ryan. I figured out she was forcing him to attack when you said things got a little heated, that’s how she dealt with bullies in the past.” you looked him straight in the eyes– I am upset.”

He found a way to touch your hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“Don’t be… I think Ryan would like the aquarium, he’s never been.” He seemed ashamed of that statement.

“Remember when we used to sneak out to Central Park?” You said suddenly with a chirp in your voice.

“Those were long nights.” He dares give you a flirty look.

“No… those handful of times where we went during daytime… ditch the suit… more witnesses, more likely to behave.”

You tried ignoring those sharp fangs, he was so good looking still and it had been so fucking long since you got laid, being forced to remember him, to interact with him, to let him touch you… some people like to be used… Helena had said it best, and in this nice house he bought you, and the nice stuff he got you all around you, you remember what he was trying to get out of you, and that was to play a role.

At the doctor’s office, Helena cried a lot when the doctor took her stitches out, it had taken a day to heal but she was left with a gnarly scar.

“Phantasma” You sit next to her while she eats some ice cream, she really did not like getting the stitches out, the visit had reduced her to an actual little girl, even after her words were incoherent, skipping words as she cried all the way out to the ice cream shop, Helena’s skin was hard not like her fathers but it was near impossible to penetrate it with a needle, forced to proceed without real anesthesia– sounds better than ‘Ghost Girl’, no?”

She looked up.

“Sounds cool. Why?” she sniffed hard.

“Your father did ask about it…”

“Huh?”

“Honey. He told me you figured it out. How?”

She licked her ice cream cone, as you tucked her under your arm. Scooting her closer on the park bench.

“I used Elmo to break into his apartment. I turned us both invisible and I went up there.” You pulled on her ear– ouch!”

“Helena!”

“He’s been following us for weeks!” you let her go– I was curious as to what he was doing… I was suspicious of his intentions, found the paperwork in his office and played stupid for a couple days.” She handed you her slobbered cover ice cream– Is not appropriate for a grown man to be following little girls.”

“You shouldn’t use Elmo like that!”

“You aren’t mad I broke into his house?” She looked perplexed.

“Nah… I could have given you the passcode it's the first thing they gave me when I started work. Don’t involve the kid!” You took a bite– Jesus Helena! You being invisible is hard enough… I don’t want you ending up like Translucent! Guy was so mentally ill.”

“You knew translucent?” her ear perked up.

“He would walk around naked in the bathrooms– I’ll explain to you when you’re older, honey.” you handed the ice cream back, your lips tight under your teeth– I knew your father for three years… So I got to meet some of The Seven. Either way leave the kid alone and for all intents and purposes you never told me about the stalking…”

“You got something in mind?”

“We’re going to play his game. You’re his daughter… so that tower should be yours, no?”

“There’s my older brother to worry about, too.”

“He’s just a little boy, riding thru life with only nepotism as his anchor” You stroke her hair pushing her bangs away from her beautiful eyes– but he’s not you.” You leaned into her ear– you are my daughter.”

Her smile was sickly sweet.

Here you were waiting for him at the entrance of the boardwalk, when you felt a light touch on your shoulder.

He looked uncomfortable and maybe too dressed up for the occasion, you took the lapel of his suit jacket. It was the nicest fabric you’ve touched in your entire life, surprised to see his hair not as gel-up and his eyes hiding behind versace sunnies.

“Did you raid Kendall Roy’s closet? I swear I saw this jacket in season 3.”

“Is a good show.” he laughs looking painfully stiff, his eyes moving rapidly behind his lenses– and yes.”

“Wait, is this actually from the show?”

“I just said yes.”

Your mouth dropped slightly, but you did like the feel of the jacket.

“You’re more Shiv.”

“Not Logan I hope?”

You snorted in horror, your daughter pretended to be confused by his appearance trying not to look at Ryan, who looked like a deer in front of a hummer.

“Are you doing okay, little guy?” You asked, making sure to lift his hat playfully– Ever had a Nathan’s glizzy? Is an institution.”

The kid looked so shy.

“No, I never had one…” He was one bad word away from sobbing.

“Is okay. My arm is all good again” Helena's adult size hoodie had a big enough collar for her to pull down and reveal nothing but a scar– I am not mad at you. It was an accident… Besides, you can’t be a supe if you’re afraid of getting boo-boos.”

Ryan seemed more shaken than anything, but before he could do his best sad little orphan boy impression, Helena took his hand and dragged him forward, telling him that he needed to try Nathan’s before doing anything, rambling about how good they are, and that she couldn’t wait to see the Aquarium.

Both you and Homelander stood a few steps behind as your daughter gave the kid no time to rest.

“She’s always been this pushy?” He whispered into your ear.

“She just found out that’s her brother… She's a tad excited.”

“You had the talk? Without me!?” He looked upset, staring at his kids with a bit of bitterness.

“I was ambushed. I swear to god you need to figure out a weakness with her damn bubble.”

“What's the limit before she runs out of oxygen?” he asks.

“1 minute and 46 seconds is her personal best.” you whispered back.

“What did you tell Helena was happening today?” He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close.

“That it was a play-date, to try to mend the situation… after all she instigated it.” You leaned against him tugging on his jacket with a cheeky smile– not whatever you were thinking this was… now… get your hand off my ass, John.”

“I told you. I have a story to sell. Both kids are in the same school, now they can start being friends and she knows I’m her dad. Let’s just skip to the good part.”

“You want to pretend we are dating?” If your teeth could separate and let you talk with ease, you would bite his nose off before finishing your next sentence– Did you run that past your team? Sure I wouldn’t rank higher than Maeve or Starlight in the fake girlfriend department… I think even Taylor would rank better… she did make a great single out of you.”

He cringed at that comment.

“You’ll do great in the fake mother department– The team has concocted something extra juicy, a real page turner. Way above Hallmark channel christmas movies, we are talking award circuit instead.”

You both did that fake little laugh that sounded more like a growl as your kids turned around after spotting the white, green and yellow hot dog restaurant.

As Helena headed to the line, with Ryan in tow. You played your role, Helena would have what she deserves– if he wanted to force you and her into his life, you were going to wrap those chains so tight around his neck, he would forget he ever lived without it.

Your mouth met his for a brief moment, startling him enough that his hand left your hips, he was left stuck in place as you went after the kids.

The breeze tousled his hair, as you looked back at him with a saddened smile.

“I haven’t forgiven you… but I want to give you a second chance… I want to put all those things behind us… if you are going to be here for her– for us.” You whispered from afar out of your kids reach as Helena took your wallet, knowing full well he was listening attentively– I’ve missed you. Even if I don’t want to admit it.”

The seagulls squealed as he took his place beside you, wrapping his arm again around your waist just to kiss you yet again.

The moment Helena saw a fish tank it was game over. All her ‘Wednesday’ facade had melted as she became an over excited amateur marine biologist, giving his eldest no time of rest as she explained as many animals she could to the child, he had learned an awful lot about corals and kelp as they moved from exhibit to exhibit, admittedly Ryan was having fun, hanging out with other kids as school had been a bit difficult, his socialization skills were poor from years of isolation and homeschooling but this was nice.

Homelander could only see a kodak moment ruined by the myriad of The Deep billboards staring at him.

It was a bizarre game of stealth kisses happening behind the kids, he was starving for you,  a desire he had put down in the cellar and today he found again, excited to play this game with you.

Wanting to feel your comfort, happy that you took his offer, now he only had to tell Ryan.

As you left for the bathroom he was left alone with the two kids, Ryan fixated on some animals and his mind elsewhere when Helena pulled at his sleeve.

“You look like you want to rip your skin off.”

“I don’t usually wear clothes like this?” he says politely– what about you? Why are you wearing that giant hoodie again? Don’t you own other stuff?”

It was big enough for an adult, her sleeves had been rolled up quite a bit and its length still touched her knees making her appear shorter than she already was, this had been the fifth time he had seen her in this fit, she wore black hoodies most of the times on top of her normal clothes– cheap thrifted clothes and hand-me downs somethign that irked the man; But this ridiculous hoodie seemed to be a favorite. The newest and nicest thing she owned was a pair of A-T Force 1, it pissed him off to watch her wear those shoes– why worship that fat slob when her father was the fucking Homelander! he thought.

“Is really nice… found it in an old box mother had with her while we were living in one of her cousin’s garage.” She stretched her arm urging the man to have a feel of the soft cotton fabric– She didn’t wanna throw it away ‘cuz she could sell it but I ended up wearing it a lot. I like it.”

The fabric was worn down but it was evidently of good quality, he spun the little girl around as he looked at the size tag, only to see the name of the brand… Brunello, his eyes widened as he noted that this hoodie easily cost over 1000 dollars, but as the girl glared at him a light sob escaped his lips as his eyes tingled– this had been his sweater. 

Of the few items of clothes he had owned over the years, he knew this was his.

In those secret dates in central park and escapes to Paris and Seoul, where he was forced to hide who he was just so you two could hold hands without causing a scene, he had bought this, you liked it enough to steal it from him from time to time.

Homelander had become John Gillman for you, he had never needed a secret identity before he met you, not even mulling on the idea for long. He only had to be the Homelander, but he had become a mild-mannered executive named Mr. John Gillman, to be with you– forcing himself to wear strange clothes and mingle with lowborn folks, just to hold your hands and kiss you.

This stupid hoodie that he had ordered an intern to buy only to arrive a size too big, that had gone missing years prior, now stood here wrapping his daughter.

“How did you find out about me?” He asks with shaky lips.

“After you showed up at Lucci’s… thought it was weird that you showed up at my house not long before… I suspected you knew my mom, and after she told me that she worked at Vought. Well, I looked at her resume and did some math. I only really began to suspect it after you broke into my house” She raised her chin– you left the window open by two inches, not enough to matter but enough for me to notice as I always leave them close all the way… you left my hairbrush in the sink’s and not the trolley. Why would you touch my hairbrush? Wonder what you could get out of it…”

The little shit turned around to spot her brother still admiring the clover reef while they waited for you.

“I was taking a gamble when I called you a ‘deadbeat’, dad.”

Homelander's heart skipped a beat when her mouth uttered the word, unsure if she was mocking him or otherwise, from her it was hard to tell.

“You don’t want him to know about me, right?” Her voice was quiet, a knot buried itself in her throat.

“What? No!” He said in a panic, getting on one knee to see her eye-to-eye– Helena… I … I want us to be a family, Ryan will understand but I have to wait… he’s not like you or me… he’s… sweet.”

She looked away squishing her little fist, hiding her beautiful kyanite stones behind those long bangs, his hand lifted her hair, trying to peek further into those beautiful skies, feeling the creamy skin under his palm, her warmth as her cheeks turn a new shade of pink.

“You’re my daughter… my blood… I am sorry… I was… I was an asshole for what I did, but I just want to be there for you now… so If I can… you can call me ‘Dad’ if you like.”

His voice quivering as he spoke, she was frail, he could feel it under his touch, how easy it would be for him to hurt her.

Little girls were to be handled with much more care, dainty things they were, she was a peony blooming in his hands, so he had to be soft and strong for her. she rested her cheek against his hand, his so warm and soft, surprised at the way he looked at her-- there was a twinkle of desperation behind his gaze.

She rested until her eyes didn’t sting anymore.

As you left the bathroom, you spotted the curious scene, biting at your lips as your guilt finally catched up to you, you didn’t need it, you would not allow yourself to be harmed but as you saw your daughter play her role, you knew… she would be lost inside the character… She was a lonely child, deprived of you and without him ever in the picture... she had a weakness.

You let them mingle from afar as they walked around towards some river exhibition, while Ryan made his way towards the duo, their hands intertwined as he turned calling for his boy.

For a moment you saw a glimpse of the life you always wanted… Revenge was a nasty game… could you really play it? You wondered as you fixed your clothes.

Before you could say anything, your sight followed a faceless passerby.

A service dog in tow.

The passerby had simply bumped into Helena, the dog had been just close enough, you didn't worry immediately, she had gotten used to dogs and you were certain she had been good and taken her allergy meds.

You were sure.

Helena turned but it was too late.

With a single sneeze the gates had opened.

The walls rumbled, as the pale blue wave of sharp wavering light exploded out of her body.

Everybody swallowed a shared gasp, as the glass began to crack.

taglist: hope y'all like the chapter @fromforeigntofamiliarity @immyowndefender @demodemo909

[bisexualnerd]

Writer tag game

I wasn’t tagged, but I saw the game randomly posted by another user so I want to play anyway! (red for fic links and blue for series links)

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

35 (and only one draft because I don't really like working on multiple projects at the same time)

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

395,306

3. what fandoms do you write for?

I write the most for Batfam, mostly Tim and Jason but usually, the whole fam (more or less) is also there.

I write a bit more for some other fandoms but there are only one or two fics for each (2021 Produce 101 - Chuang Zao Ying, Hollywood Undead (but these fics are not finished), Julie and The Phantoms (1 fic - finished), Arsenal Military Academy + The Legends (they are kinda connected in 1 fic) and I have like, one translation project too.

I'm hoping to write Star Wars fics one day too. Really like the whole time travel thing and Obi-Wan is my beloved.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Monster Under My Bed (The Monster Down The Hall)

"Back Away From Him."

if i lose everything in the fire, i'm sending all my love to you

Cold

A Pile of Sleeping Birds

5. do you respond to comments?

All of the comments, definitely. I really enjoy reading and replying to them and sometimes, I even come back to re-read the comments to feel validated 🤣

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I write angst a lot but I have a thing for happy endings. But if I look at the fics individually and not like, as a part of a bigger series, it might be i have so much to say but you're so far away. But if not just the ending but the whole plot in general, it can be any fic really (I would recommend Restless Heart Syndrome, And Now You're Home, The Monster Under My Bed (The Monster Down The Hall), and What The Heart Remembers).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have some sort of happy endings (though some fics that are a part of a series might not but the series will have happy endings). But since all I have talked about is Batfam, I would recommend this from Julie and the Phantoms. I don't write romance often, but this is just a short soft, cute love story of two ghosts (Reggie and an OC based on his real-life wife) plus some humour in the band - ‘Cause I’m Not Too Far And You’re My Favorite Place. I was very satisfied with how it turned out and I still come back to re-read for my own enjoyment a few times so I hope you guys will give it a chance.

8. do you get hate on fics?

My most controversial fic would be Hold Me Close, Don't Let Go (Watch Me Burn) but it's not like people showed hate to me. They just didn't like the story and how I wrote it so there were some unpleasant comments. The newest one, I think I did well with my response. It's a rather heavy fic because I went through a really rough time when I was writing it (along with many others) so if you want to read it, be careful.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't. My fics are all rated G or T (mostly because of swearing and violence, and also some with suicidal theme or idealisation because I did have a really bad time).

10. do you write crossovers?

Just for two fandoms, Arsenal Military Academy & The Legends, because they share the same lead actor and actress so I thought it would be fun to write something about reincarnation. It's Then and Now, Forever and Always.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think I'm famous enough for that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, into Chinese, actually. It's The Monster Under My Bed (The Monster Down The Hall). The link to the translated fic is in the fic.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not really. I planned my current series How To Steal A Brother with my friend Den and she is also my beta-reader for this series but I still write all of the stuff, which she reads and corrects the mistakes for me later.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That's hard to choose. I really like Robin (Dick Grayson) and Starfire. It was like my first ship ever because I watched Teen Titans as a child. I also like Marinette/Adrien, very cute but the secondhand embarrassment is not very healthy for me (at least she has gotten better at interacting with him). The Doctor (10th) and Rose was one heartbreak that got me crying like a baby in 8th grade.

So honestly, I don't think I can pick because those were the three that came to my mind first, but I still have like a few dozen left.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

The Hollywood Undead fic - When Gravity Pulls You In. It was a really fun idea but then I ran into a big writer's block and I haven't recovered for this fic. I have been writing for Batfam again but I doubt I can go back and finish this one (at least anytime soon).

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't think I'm too good with dialogue but I do have a strength in describing and like some sort of metaphor (English is not my first language so this is a difficult question to answer). I don't know if this is also considered a strength but like I said, I don't really write many fics at the same time so I can manage them pretty well. Most of my fics are completed before I move on to another one.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. And I forget a lot of stuff so I have to go back to the earlier part so the plot won't be inconsistent. And of course, I write in English, which is not my mother tongue, so sometimes, I lack vocabulary or my grammar can feel weird.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean, I would add translation or explanation very subtly in there. But I saw a Star Wars fic where the writer had like, floating texts or something for the conversations in Mando'a so like, I will research on that if I need to write in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Batfam. Tim-centric.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Damn, that's like asking a parent for their fav child on national television.

In terms of like, wording and metaphors and descriptions and all the technical stuff - And Now You're Home - because some of my fav paragraphs are in here. In terms of logic, time can never change for the flying bird under the summer sun because I went crazy with all the planning for the whole time-travel-but-nothing-changes-the-future thing. In terms of plot, i'm so out of touch with everyone, and everything's a blur to me. This was one of my earlier ones but when I came back to this earlier this year, I found it so enjoyable and fascinated. I couldn't even believe I wrote this one. But it is a part of a series so you might want to check out I've Got You Brother.

This has been fun and I have been shamelessly PR-ing my fics. I don't really know who to tag so anyone else who wants to play, go ahead and have fun!

[tododeku-or-bust]

Fic Writing Ask Game

I was asked to play by the wonderful @shooshopath ! I'm sending it to @toiletpotato @queenoftherandomword @spacebeyonce @surkovhasherpes

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

45

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

943,229

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently, just Patrochilles (TSoA and Hades)

4. top 5 fics by kudos?

Flashing Lights, Restless, to face the sea, where flowers bloom, Paradise, & and the nights, they are endless

5. do you respond to comments?

I do! I used to think it was really nice when authors answered my comments. I always make a point to answer comments to let people know I care about their feedback and that I appreciate their support, especially if they choose to become a consistent reader. It's a bit embarrassing though, half my comment count is me responding 😭

6. fic you wrote with the angstiest ending:

Lacrimosa

7. fic you wrote with the happiest ending:

I think the rest are all generally happy ending 😅 can't really pick one.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I had for a couple of my Patrochilles and Parenthood series, particularly on my OC. Tbh, I'm shocked I don't receive more, given that Black female characters usually receive minimal grace. Everyone's been very supportive, if not necessarily completely understanding the perspective of the narrative (thus the "your OC is a self insert" comment. Like, I'm writing about the experience of Black girlhood, where else am I gonna pull from lmao we tend to go through particular things!)

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nah, not really. I'll usually include a sex scene here or there, but I don't write just straight smut. There's always gotta be some angst or some sort of plot. I don't think my writing is good enough for straight smut, so I leave that to others.

10. do you write crossovers?

Technically my Patrochilles fics are crossovers, but fr I just tag both fandoms for reach. If I'm focused specifically on the TSoA rendition, I only tag for that. Otherwise, no. Same idea with MDZS.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Apparently so! Well, not stolen, but heavily inspired by. Since it wasn't word for word, I'm not willing to get lynched by white fandom to start an argument about it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah 😅 unfortunately I'm too territorial about my writing process.

14. all-time favorite ship?

Patrochilles, with AshEiji as a close close second.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Blooms of a Wilting Garden. It's a WangXian fic I was super, SUPER passionate about... And then I burnt out of both the fic and the fandom. It was just so toxic in that space that I got disillusioned. Maybe I will- it is outlined!

16. writing strengths:

I personally think that I'm very good with dialogue and character motivations. I'm also very passionate about movement while I write, bc I think that it adds emphasis to both of those things. But yeah, I'm very intense about motivations- how might someone's character change in certain situations? What might cause an outburst in one moment might generate an incredibly calm response in another, all for the same character. It all depends on the situation, and I like exploring that.

17. writing weaknesses:

I feel like I could do better with "prettier" writing. On the one hand it's a style choice, I tend to prefer words that get to the point I'm trying to depict. On the other hand, sometimes I wish I could write as beautifully and set up as well done a setting as other writers. I've been trying to do better with that. But I also write fic as a hobby so... 🤷🏾‍♀️

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've tried direct translation (language, then the English translation next to it) and italicizing. Some phrases I know well enough to use the former, but if I get caught up I will use the latter.

19. first fandom you wrote for:

On AO3? Bnha, tododeku (thus the name of the blog. I was pretty intense about it. Oh how I've grown in 4 years).

20. favorite fic of yours:

Hmmm... This is hard. I love all my fics as a favorite for different reasons 😭😭 the overall winner? Restless, my first AshEiji fic. It's one of my fics that I'm always rereading, and I love how it came about because of two nightmares I had. Like they really worked in allowing me to write a perspective on Eiji that I felt I wasn't seeing in the fandom at the time. Protection (my second Philia fic) is my second place.

Thanks for sending this to me! I'm so happy to see it 😊 I miss talking about my stuff sometimes.

[canpandaspvp]

KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE SBI FIC THING IM REALLY INTERESTED!! I've always wanted to study that side of the fandom under a microscope but it's scary.

buddy that place is WILDDDD. ok so things you need to know abt sbi side

1. they're damn good writers

2. i don't think they know how to write fanfiction

3. in another universe they create some very well known, published authors

because essentially everything they write is so fucking detached the second it enters an au. with dnf and the general dt side of things, there are differences. sure often times it's a bit more identifiable as fanfiction but that's not a BAD thing. it literally just means people know how to write fanfiction which is what they were intending to do anyways so like hooray

with sbi, i've read SEVERAL (as in i can go into my bookmarks right now and count out at least 10) fics that have just changed and deviated so far from the original source material that it's hard to even understand what they're talking about. in that regard, 100% dnfers get caught out before sbiers, but that's only in the circumstance that they get published at all. sbiers are really creative -- TOO creative, obviously to the point of creation ocs with names and descriptions that often times only vaguely resemble phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno -- which gives them the upper hand publication wise.

that leads into dark sbi which, let it be known, i have NEVER EVER liked. i personally thought it was harsh and unenjoyable but also goddamn did they make some good stories. obviously i read them bc even though i hated the vampires and the kidnapping and shit, it was good. the upper hand of writing fanfiction is that shit is more fast paced and attention grabbing, due to the lack of exposition and shit. so sbiers likely get published first, get discovered on booktube (not booktok cause they only read romance that's packed with tropes to the point of dysfunction), and they at least semi-spread from there until someone is who can't handle any difficult topics in fiction gets upset. but that's a different kind of controversy entirely

sbiers are good authors but they're stuck in this weird limbo of "it's not fanfiction it's just inspired original content" which sort of creates a new genre entirely. they pull some good fanfiction elements into its own realm entirely and it's really frustrating when you want to read fanfiction of something but if you're looking for something fast paced and good to read that aligns with the weird fanon universe they've created, they're your subfandom.

a lot of fics also appeal to personal issues that people are able to project onto easily (i speak from experience) so, while dnf is typically shorter, more accurate, and lighthearted, sbi has dynamics that people often crave in their real life and more people that they can insert themselves into. um that sounds weird but ykwim

they also have The AU's which dnf has but it's just not to the extent that sbi has it. the trifecta:

1. superhero aus

2. royalty aus

3. foster care aus

ran that tag for a good 2 years minimum. those are the sort of Peter Parker Goes On A Field Trip To Stark Industries type of aus where you have a good baseline that people get attached to, so you can sort of rewrite the same story different enough that people feel like they're reading smth new each time. and it works!! if people were to publish an sbi fic (which would likely fall into one of those 3 categories), it'd be realllyyyyyy recognizable just bc it was such a staple in the community. ifl im missing some other big categories but those are just the aus that i remembered off the top of my head that showed up a fuckton

don't get me wrong, i ❤️ dnf fanfiction and you def could publish it if you tried hard enough, but those authors do shit right. the characterization is so niche and specific, the dynamics are so unique, and often times, there just isn't enough in one fic to build and create a story. so much of dnf fanfiction relies on the fact that you already know those two, you know who they are, how they behave, their stakes regarding each other, etc etc. with sbi, the authors end up essentially writing their own stories so much so that they have to tell the story like it's a novel rather than fanfiction. it's very interesting imo esp bc fanon tommy for example is so extremely, incomprehensibly different from c!tommy or cc!tommy, with only enough hits of similarity to keep you hooked into the story with the illusion that you're actually reading the same character, when more often then not, it's like 1/4 tommy, 1/4 fandom misinterpretation interpretation, 1/4 author projection, and 1/4 recycled oc. again, speaking from experience.

also, sbi authors are pretty cocky about their writing, and it's really noticeable when they write a fic with the intention of changing the names and couple minor details to submit to an editing company for a few rounds of revision before they publish their nyt bestseller a few years down the line. they didn't need to leave the fandom to abandon their shit. lorehead analysts have a decent grasp of their content (but i'm biased), but lorehead writers?? different monster entirely. the second dsmp stands for something like "delicious small mtown pforsuperherovillanvigilanteshenanigans" then you know they're too far gone. they're attached to THEIR characters, not the dsmp's; if it means sacrificing the original source material for real life recognition, they'd do it in a heartbeat. i don't blame them but the point still stands.

this is all over the place i'm so sorry idek if i said anything you wanted to know but

tl;dr sbi fanfiction sort of became its own medium between fanfiction and original work so they're more likely to get published, but they fall into the same dynamics in the same type of universes that would easily get them figured out. dnf writers just seem to mind their damn business more. anyway, most dnf writers that left the fandom seem to want to completely forget that they ever did That. usually they just orphan/delete and move on cause they're embarrassed.

sorry again i'm so not good at explaining my thoughts but i did NOT spend 2 1/2 years reading sbi fanfiction 24/7 for nothing. i need to put my experience to use somehow so thanks for letting me do that 😭😭😭

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet post-finale discussion

this is a post that goes over some things that i briefly touched on in the tags/mentions some plot points i wasn't able to expand upon! SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS after the cut. so dont look unless u want it to be spoiled

ok so! i want to first of all start out by thanking everyone reading/the ellie community this for being so patient and wonderful and just lovely in general! writing long fics can be so draining for me, especially when i start making poor plot choices and start writing parts that are over 10k words (i at least have the decency to be ashamed of it). i hope that you all have enjoyed reading p7/the rest of the series. i did want to offer a little more elaboration on some points/why i made some of the plot choices that i did. so spoilers under the cut!

petra

petra's character might seem super random, and it's because she actually used to play a much bigger role in this story. my original outline included petra actually coming back to jackson as well as a few cutscenes away to her time working at a bourbon plant in kentucky, detailing exactly how the goods were contaminated/how they actually got past quality control. i cut these scenes bc i was like literally no one came to read about this random oc.

how did terranova get infected (in other words: what petra's story would've told)

she used to have a monologue talking about how everyone in the plants—even the commanding officers—were frustrated with the poor conditions and managed to infect weaker members, tie them up, and drop their saliva into the vats of aging bourbon. this slipped past quality control because you'll recall that 1) the prices were skyrocketing in terranova and 2) there was a festival that involved hella drinking. petra was supposed to explain that since the prices of liquor were so high and quality control could be overly cautious, flagged bottles were smuggled off by guards and sold in a black market. so that's why it was so fast/why it got through the borders!

why didnt u write a smut scene between ellie and y/n smh

i honestly planned to—i had a whole scene where y/n has her little top moment, but i just couldnt integrate it into the last final scenes. to me it just felt too much for ellie to be like yes im opening up 2 u emotionally....now lets fuck in the span of like 20 mins when they hadn't been speaking beforehand. and also i think it speaks to how ellie kind of used sex to put distance between them in the first few parts and tried to avoid any sort of emotional intimacy, so this was a big step for her. also if i were y/n id be sleepy as hellllll at that point and would not have the wrist stamina for any sort of activities that didn't involve tucking into bed after the day she's had!

what next?

so of course there's the epilogue, but that doesn't have to be all. i was thinking of writing an alternate ending that adheres more firmly to tlou 2 canon and involves joel's death + ellie's spiral, where y/n actually chooses to leave terranova with dina to try to find her once she hears from her father about a girl with a fern tattoo that's causing a disturbance just a bit south of terranova. i didn't want that to be the actually legit ending, because i do think it's important for ellie's conscience to know that she's not keeping y/n from somewhere safer.

so in conc: epilogue for sure, maybe an alternate ending, and potentially a few "deleted scenes" (including the smut scene i cut)

why did you choose to do that to terranova instead of having ellie find her or y/n leave?

ellie was never going to terranova to get y/n because she'd never try to take her from there unless she had a genuine belief that she'd be better off outside. so i suppose that there could've been a storyline about ellie finding out about terranova possibly getting infected, but idk how she would know that when communication is so private and tommy wasn't even able to get in contact with any terranovan authorities with his connections.

i didn't go with my alternate ending idea where y/n actually chooses to leave, partly because of ellie and mostly because i felt like terranova needed to get blown up anyway. i was hoping that part of the message i sent with this was that overconsumption is never sustainable and that it will always have consequences, and terranova falling apart because of and not in spite of its resources and suppliers seemed like a good way to get the job done!

this may not be something anyone is particularly interested in but if you have any questions about any things i didn't cover in the finale, feel free to ask ! now that the actual plot is mostly complete and i can't really spoil anything, i have a lot more flexibility with answering things!

[autumnslance]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @sheepwithspecs technically on my main but this is where fanfic goes. Do this if you wanna!

How many works do you have on AO3?

47 as of 2/6/24. There's a few things I need to get around to adding there though.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

411,290 as of 2/6/24

What are your top 5 fics by kudos

Downtime (compilation of younger Scions & other teen chars being pals in Norvrandt) Unexpected (compilation of shippy nonsense) A Constant Distant Thunder (Thancred in ARR patches post-Lahabrea) Ruminations (General Warrior of Light introspections & adventures) Rogue's Prelude (My headcanons on Thancred meeting Louisoix, Papalymo, and Yda)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually do! I often try to. So my comment count is almost, not quite though, doubled.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hrm; I tend to do a lot of bittersweet endings. We'll keep it simple and say "Never Gets Easier", a fic where Edmont and Charlemend talk about their lost sons. There's no sweetness there, just men haunted by mistakes and losses.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Maybe "When Everything Changes" which is kid fic from the POV of my WoL's older brother when she's born and his ambivalence turns to big brother joy and love.

Do you write crossovers?

Haven't yet.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I recall.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally. Usually pretty vanilla. It's all right, I guess.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Had an OC's backstory on our WoW RP server's fic blogging site lifted wholesale; they changed the names and class, and then…walked into our weekly guild meeting that I was leading and tried to join our guild. When confronted, the person claimed their partner had leveled the character for them and based the backstory on Skyrim (my OC's story is very specific to WoW). They tried to message me later as if we were pals who would laugh this off someday. I informed them that was not a thing and btw the site mods knew they were a plagiarist now. Also everyone knew who their alts were and a bunch of other trouble they'd caused. So far as I know, they bailed from our server after that.

I hoped they learned better and grew up quite a bit; this was well over a decade ago.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Once or twice now; so long as folks credit and link back to my originals, and share the translated link with me, it's all good!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Roleplay and actual story collaboration both. It's a lot of fun.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

How dare you.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*stares at WIP folder*

Come back with a warrant.

(I won't say never, but there's a lot that probably are just noodling and scraps to feed something else later)

What are your writing strengths?

Folks seem to like my dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Impatience, and certain grammatical abuses that do nothing for length nor clarity.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Depends on the fic. Depends on the intended audience.

For dialects, mostly the concern is "don't overdo it" as it can slow things down, be really jarring at best and offensive at worst, and difficult to understand if laying it on too thick.

Other languages entirely have different guidelines though, from sprinkling in single words or short phrases, to entire passages, and whether or not you translate or leave it up to the reader. Depends on fandom, on the characters, on the story, author intentions.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Narnia, in a my little girl diary as a pre-teen. I wanted to pick up Susan's story as a grown up and bring her and family back to a magical land. Cuz I knew it could, would happen someday, even if Lewis never got to write it himself.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Final Fantasy XVI. Midst. The latter is tricky as I really don't have ideas at the moment, but really want to dig into that vibe. My writing needs to be more weird in general, really.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How dare you, come back with a warrant!

[humanteethmarksonhumanbone]

Updates on our beloved Molly??

so many, so much stuff, everything where do i even start this is going to take me forever to respond i just know it

(so idk if this means like general updates or lore (not your fault) but think is already getting really long but theres so much i need to say so i think i’ll make this a summary and then a master post with everything and tag you if you like 👍 )

general updates: i wrote another little story! its a non canon crackfic where she goes to brunch with some of the tma avatars, its silly its goofy. its not super recent persay but idk how to advertise it. and it has an oc from a jmart fic i wrote, she was supposed to be a one and done character but the parasites, the parasites made me expand her lore.

(btw the short story is ch.3 of her statement but im planning on making a separate series eventually)

Im also planning on writing other side stories aswell (ex: childhood, cats, outsiders pov, character analysis etc)

spotify playlist: also not like super recent but i forgot what you about. Its mostly vibes but some of them he specific reasons. and some billy joel & elton john cause those are who her cats are named after and the type of stuf she grew up listening too.

lore updates: i’ll start with the beginning. So ive been thinking about her childhood alot specifically with ms Gretchen and i have decided that they are (distantly) related like grandmothers sister or something because it makes more since on why Molly went to her. However Molly does really know/remember (she has a ton of stuff blocked out)

ms gretchen was in fair good health till she was like idk 10 so for a few years she taught her how to cook, read, write etc and home schooling her to the best of her ability

cats:

i have decided what her cats look like

Billy Joel (her childhood best friend, her neighbors cat)

brown cat with a white belly

Elton John (the stray that visits her dorm)

orange with a bit of white

right now i cant think of any more (i know i probably have more but brain yk) and this is already pretty late, but thank you thank you for the ask!! shes been festering around and i needed to actually write it down

tldr: short story/crackfic, spotify playlist, ms gretchen and moly are realtes and her health only really started declining when molly was about 10 but before she was an ok care taker, i think about her alot, and thanks for the ask!!

[lunamiuna-the-curious-fella]

[I'm gonna take what I wrote in a reblog that doesn't relate to the original source, cause when I search for it by the tags I added it doesn't show up for some reason. It's me ranting about my OC and Fresh, including fanfic like parts, and I would love to hear anyone's thoughts about it. Took a lot of inspiration from the fic 'Sweet Sweet Swagger' by MissPawTastic, go check them out! Also you can imagine this as taking place well after Loveball 2016 and Timeparty2k16 roleplays, to explain why he isn't entirely emotionless. Or not. Whatever fits, idk]

So, Arial, my OC. They're very self inserty and share a lot of traits with me, like being Aroace, Agender, any pronouns, AuDHD, Infp personality type, and in general my personality, interests, and quirks. Here they are in gacha life 2:

But the gist is that they're actually a human monster hybrid, not just monster like they seem and go by to keep up appearances, and a powerful one at that. They're kind of an anomaly, cause y'see, not only they are stronger than most, their soul which looks like this:

has the theoretical potential to be stronger than all 7 human soul kinds combined. But since her body obviously can't handle all that, it just gives how much is currently needed and adapts. Which means even if Fresh were to possess them, while it would feel just as bad as for anyone else at first, with time they would adapt to the possession, eventually even being able to take back control entirely. They would much prefer to share the body though, if they're on friendly terms with Fresh. Also their short term in the moment soul energy is highly dependable on their emotional state, with strong emotions causing it to produce more energy, enough to smoothly take over control even, if the emotion is intense enough.

Whether they know of Fresh's secret identity or not and whether she's aware of the full capacity of her power in relation to him varies a lot, there's a lot of different timelines and what if's to this. Either way, if Fresh is somewhat nice, and doesn't like, do evil shit to innocent people for no reason, then they're friendly and understanding of his situation, cause like, he has to hurt people, just to exist... How tragic is that!

Arial's home AU is set in a classic adjacent universe, the lore being that basically there's this secret line of skeletons (and other monsters too) that managed to hide amongst humans with some rare magic or artifacts that gave them disguises, like they weren't trapped under Mount Ebott. Arial has this muddy green goat named Falcon as their main mentor/father figure in his life, since her biological parents abandoned them before they could ever form any memories of them. They don't talk much nowadays, having little in common and living away from each other, but they care about each other very much and are protective of each other. There were ancient magic scientists in the childhood hidden village they lived in, and they are the reason why she knows about the capabilities of their soul.

Now, to more present times. Basically after the barrier broke, and the monsters began to be more accepted, the secret clan came out of hiding, big reunion, he became friends with the main Undertale group, got introduced to the multiverse through Sans, and went like: Oh my gosh, I must EXPLORE! :O (She got this device from someone from the multiverse to help her navigate between the universes and stuff) It basically became their new hyperfixation, learning everything there is about the multiverse, AU’s, the people in it, outcodes, secrets, all that stuff.

And, here it comes, that includes Fresh and his secret. She learned it from one of his survivors. And she absolutely believed it, I mean, it's the multiverse! Anything is possible! Though she kinda did it by nagging and begging him about it, so he made her swear to never tell anybody, ESPECIALLY Fresh, for fear he will get him. So she took it to heart. Though that's kinda what she would do anyway, why would she out herself like that…

Overall, he appears meek and naive. But they know more than she lets on. Is very kindhearted too. Just wants to have fun.

Anyway, one day, there's Fresh. He's looking for a new host. And look, there's a naive lonely skeleton with a powerful soul which he can sense! How can he not pick them as his new host? So he decides to gain her thrust and befriend him, in order to later possess him. Arial, of course, suspects this, but goes along with it anyway because that's what she would do normally, if she didn't know. But also, they know that if push comes to shove, they can handle it. She knows what her soul is capable of, after all. She knows that ultimately, it will adapt with time, and overcome it. And they're lonely, so, can you blame them?

And what happens for a good while is that basically he doesn't know that they know, and they know he doesn't know! On one hand, you have Arial, that's just vibing, trying to enjoy the friendship in spite of Fresh’s true intentions, on the other, you have Fresh that's convinced he’s fooling them. Pretty funny, huh? They especially like throwing ambiguous parasite hints. It always throws him off guard.

But eventually, they had enough of not knowing if it all was actually genuine or not, minus the parasite stuff. They told him they wanna talk, in this serious solemn voice, at which Fresh wondered: "What’s da matter broski? :("

She asked him:

"Hypothetically, if you had a specific harmful ulterior motive for this friendship and I secretly knew but didn't mind it, as long as the friendship part is genuine, would the friendship part still be genuine?"

Fresh's shades would darken, perhaps because he's starting to catch on, as he wondered how he should answer to this. If this truly was what it seemed, that would mean they knew from the beginning, and they still befriended him. It was hard to believe. He answered, going back to his cheerful attitude:

"In that purely hypothetical situation, if you truly didn't mind, I would totes go for continuing our super rad friendship my friendo! :D It could definitely still be genuine in that sense. Why you asking?"

She would immediately hug him. "Dang that's such a relief! I appreciate that so much." He would be surprised at the suddenness, but after a moment would awkwardly hug back. "Dun' mention it dawg."

Arial would lean back, and start rambling, explaining how they knew what he was from the start and why they still wanted to be friends with him, how for reasons she'll get into later, possession isn't as bad of a thing for her than for others, how he empathized with the reality of Fresh's existence as a parasite and how inherently tragic it is, and how they don't mind being possessed in the future as long as it's when they're ready and on their terms.

And well, that's quite a lot for our poor Fresh. Not only did he get the confirmation of what he suspected but had a hard time believing, but found out someone actually understands and empathizes with his situation, and is okay with him possessing them in the future. It was, bizarre... He didn't know how to deal with it. His initial reaction was to consider them foolish for it. After all, how could someone be friends with a literal parasite? He had trouble admitting it but, it did feel kinda nice. Neat. And he can't refuse a willing host! (it was actually more than neat but he wasn't ready to confront that)

"Huh. Dat's great, buddy. I- You're really fine with me possessing ya?"

"Yeah, in the future."

"Why?"

"Wellll, y'see, I'm not exactly your average monster skeleton. I'm a human monster hybrid, actually, a powerful one. I'm kind of an anomaly, really, cause my soul basically has the theoretical potential for power stronger than all 7 human soul kinds combined, but since my body obviously can't handle all that, it just gives how much is currently needed and adapts. That's why, even if you were to possess me, while at first it would feel just as horrible as for any other typical skeleton, with time it would gradually adapt to the possession, eventually even allowing me to fully gain back control by producing more energy than you can control. I would rather share the body though, so don't worry about me not letting you in control."

That, of course, surprised Fresh quite a bit. He could sense that their soul was quite powerful, but he could never guess to that extent. Arial was a dang long lasting powerhouse for him. He was looking forward to possessing them.

"You're gonna wait until I'm ready though, right? You're not gonna push me into it when I'm not fully comfortable with it yet, or worse, possess me without my permission?"

"Heh, alrighty, Imma patient guy, I'll totes wait." -He was tempted though.

"Just some additional motivation, remember that eventually after I adapt to your possession I'll be able to easily take back control whether you like it or not, so it wouldn't be wise for you to not treat me right and then regret it after I'm able to gain back control and treat you accordingly." -He was no longer tempted.

...

"Anyway, how is your host btw?"

"My host?"

"Yeah, I mean like are they relatively okay? How are they doing? Cause like, I don't wanna just ignore their existence while being buddy buddy with THE parasite that's possessing them!"

"..Well, dey aren't up an' doing da worst, dats for sure! Dey still got a few months in dem."

"A few months until you leave them so they can recover, or a few months until they die?" They look at him sternly

"Da first one."

"Okay good. How are they mentally?"

"They've gotten used to it by now. Dey're actually surprised at someone acknowledging their existence and well being for once!"

"Of course I acknowledged them, they are a person too after all, just like me or you! Just because they're a host doesn't mean their experience isn't valid. In fact, both of you are valid, you for needing to eat, your host for still absolutely hating it."

Fresh chuckles

"Dey sure are excited about you, broski. U have an eye opening way of looking at things,, I like that about you"

"Thanks.. :>"

And so, they became friends, for real this time, and did many fun things. Like that one time when they went to a playground, and just had honest fun! The best part was the merry-go-round, she dared him to try to make her dizzy by spinning her very fast, and of course, he just couldn't pass up the challenge! He was doomed from the start though and they knew it, because they're pretty much immune to spinning (Like me!! I love spinning very fast, it doesn't make me dizzy at all c:) They even threw their head back to make the effect stronger, and laughed through it! (I do that ehehe :>) The only problem was the centrifugal force nailing their back to the backrest railing, but she could bear it. Then they switched roles, and she tried spinning him very fast, and the whole time he was sitting seemingly nonchalantly, his expression not showing any signs of distress, at least at first glance. They couldn't really see it cause they were spinning him very fast, but he sat there considerably more stiff than normal. He was feeling the effects, he was just hiding it well. Later he’d deny any accusations of him being dizzy.

Another time, they asked him if he could be all creepy and stuff, and he was like eh, sure! And went all creepy at them, lowering his sunglasses and looking at them with this creepy hungry look, and Arial was like: "Ohoho, jeezz, wow! I love it." It reminded them of why Fresh was friends with them to begin with.

Fresh raised his brow. "You do?"

"..Yeah."

Fresh smirked "Well ain't dat an interesting revelation! Never thought somebroski would like dat side of dear ol' me."

Arial stuttered "Well uh, I kinda do, because I know I can trust you. Like, I like that kind of fear, when I know I'm not actually in danger."

"Ya like fear?" It was quite a bizarre concept for Fresh, to like the primal instinct that lets you avoid danger.

"When I know I'm in a safe environment."

"How?"

"It's thrilling. It gives me an adrenaline kick, while the knowledge that I'm not actually in danger acts like a safety net."

"Huh." ...A smile crept on Fresh's face, at which something in Arial's nonexistent stomach stirred. He was certainly intrigued. He never expected for this friendship to allow him to act creepy and intimidating. He was fully prepared for it to be all fluffy wholesomeness. But this... This was certainly an interesting, entertaining development.

And thus, playful scaring was added to their list of fun time activities. Fresh can be both fun and friendly, as well as scary, and she loves that. She likes that contrast, how it amplifies both sides and mixes with each other. (Heh, it's one of the reasons why Fresh is my absolute favorite character)

Or! Or! The time when they had a sleepover. They played games, sung songs, had a pillow fight, all that stuff. They even made themselves painted nails by using glue on fake ones! Arial's first painted a row of colors that created a rainbow gradient, then crackle black, then white hearts shaped using a thin wire, and of course top coat, and it looked something like this:

Fresh's were these colors more or less:

But with a bunch of fun stickers on that I'm too lazy to draw.

It ended with them cuddling on the couch with a bunch of blankets and pillows, and it was very comfy.

So comfy in fact, Arial decided to bring up an idea they had some time ago.

"Btw, if I were to summon and temporarily offer my soul to you, under the condition that you wouldn't take too much and completely devour it, of course, would you be able to feed off of it without possessing me?"

"You would offer your soul like that to me?"

"As long as you're gentle with it."

"I promise."

And so, Arial summons their soul, and gives it to him, which he held gently. At first sight, it looked similar to other monster souls. It shone significantly brighter though, and had hints of rainbow on the edges. It was beautiful. Fresh was mesmerized by it.

After a while of him just admiring it, he started gently brushing against it's surface with his phalanges, channelling comforting intent. For Arial, it felt incredibly relaxing and nice. He continued to do that, gently rubbing it, caressing it, focused on the task, at which Arial practically melted into the blankets and pillows.

Unexpectedly, he slowly raised their soul up to his mouth and licked it, using his parasite tentacle as tongue, at which Arial let out a surprised yelp and a garble of confused sounds, as Fresh looked right at them with a knowing smile. It felt... Weird, for them. Confusing. Vulnerable. Intimate. And yet, exciting and dare I say, weirdly enjoyable??? Like, there was a subtle sting to it, but it didn't feel bad somehow??? Combined with his gentle touches, it just acted like a bit of spice added to the experience. They didn't wanna admit it to themselves, but it felt stimulating. They were a blushing mess of jumbled thoughts and emotions. (They have a pastel rainbow blush btw)

Fresh chuckled at their reaction, and asked:

"How did that feel?"

Arial just whined, having trouble expressing their complex thoughts and emotions.

"Good?"

"Yes and I don't know how to deal with that!!"

Fresh chuckles. "Dun worry bae. Just relax and enjoy yourself." He runs his boney thumb over their soul again.

They take a few deep breaths. "Okay. Okay. Fuu- Jeez, okay. You can continue."

And he did, and it felt amazing. Arial was laying face down in the blankets, letting out soft quiet noises which he very much enjoyed. Their reactions were captivating. He liked tasting their soul too, it was sweet, with a high concentration of their emotions.

After a while, he returned their soul to them. They were a bit stunted, their soul still beating fast.

"...Wow...."

"How are ya feeling?"

"Good, I think. That was... Certainly something. Wow..."

Fresh hugs them from the side. "I realz liked the taste of yo soul broski. Could up an' taste your feels."

"Haha, cool..."

After a moment, Arial adds: "It was really fun though. I didn't expect for it to be this... Y'know."

"Your reactions were hella captivating dude."

Arial rubs the side of their vertebrae. "Yeah, I get that."

Fresh chuckles. "You're one odd cookie."

There's a moment of content silence, which Arial breaks: "We should probably do that regularly, yeah? To let my soul get used to the drainage."

"Sounds like a plan yo. I'm looking forward to tasting more of your magic dawg."

"You really liked it that much?"

"Yeah, homie!! It was rad sweet and powerful. I could even taste your emotions, and that's unusual. Your short term energy levels must depend a lot on your emotions."

"So you could taste what emotions I was feeling in that moment?" Arial looks to the side, slightly blushing.

Fresh pokes their cheek. "Yep! Tho I didn't need dat to tell that you were enjoying yourself."

Arial groans, flustered, at which Fresh chuckles.

"How about you describe yo thoughts throughout dat experience for me?"

"You already know my feelings, you wanna know my thoughts too??"

Fresh just grins in confirmation

"Ughh, you're such a tease! Finee.....

At first it was very relaxing and nice, I was practically melting under your touch. And then you decided to suddenly lick it, without any warnings, and it funking- aaghhg, it felt- I don't even know how to describe it, and it frustrates me so much!! I hate not being able to describe what I'm feeling."

Fresh listened with amusement. "Take yo time."

"I guess, it was very surprising. I was like: Aaahh, what is happening, what is this, why is this, what am I feeling right now, it technically stings a little and yet it's weirdly enjoyable, like what?!?? Really, it felt less like a sting, more like an electrifying sensation that added some spice to the experience. Made it more intense, but not in the negative direction, even if I was disoriented by it."

Fresh nods. He could vaguely tell what their feelings were at that moment, but it was more of a general vibe than an exact description, so he happily drank the new information Arial was giving him. Like, they felt all that. Cause of him. He made them feel that way. Something stirs in Fresh at that.

"Well broski, that's quite the feelings you described. I'm happy to be the one that caused them in you though.."

"Haha, cool..." It seems to be their go to response when flustered.

They lean into Fresh, yawning. It seems the exhaustion in Arial finally begins to set in after that drainage. Very enjoyable drainage, but still, drainage. Nothing a good sleep can't fix though.

Fresh smiles, much more softly this time, and runs his hand over their skull as they're falling asleep. Is he getting attached? -he thought. That's thought unsettled him a bit. No, surely not. It's all part of the deal. -he justified it to himself, and stopped thinking about it for now.

Anyway, they started doing that soul licking thing regularly. After quite a few of them, Fresh even surprised them by mixing it up and adding multiple tongue-tentacles to the mix, rather than keeping it one, and boi that was a fun one. Just picture that image in your head.

If I were to describe their relationship, I would say, queerplatonic, since their friendship exceeded what is typically considered a friendship by now I think.

Anyway when it comes to the possession that's a few months into the future, it was... Rough. But not as bad as it could have been. They were sitting on the couch at Arial's place. Fresh, having already taken off his sunglasses was like:

"Ya sure you're ready for this?" Feeling kinda bad for the pain he's going to inflict on them after they became so close. Arial at this point, was sure of this, because she wanted to help him, and because he didn't want to keep his host waiting any longer. "Yes." -He said

"Alright. Don't fight it." He gently cupped their face with his hands and leaned into them. They spent a moment just staring into each other's eyes, before Fresh linked their foreheads together and entered through their eyesocket, leaving his previous host barely conscious and dazed, just laying there, rapidly falling into unconsciousness, leaning against the side of the couch. Poor guy needs the sleep. As his true form was hanging out on the inside of Arial's bone structure, it didn't feel bad for them, actually. Not yet. It felt hella weird and bizarre, but not the bad kind. Kinda nice even. ..But then he grabbed onto their soul and began taking over, and then it hit. It was agonizing. Arial held onto themselves tightly, wincing and crying in pain, desiring comfort very strongly. Fresh picked up on that, and hugged them in the mindscape, rubbing circles onto their back in a comforting manner.

"There there broski. You're doing so good. Just focus on da hug and try to relax for me, m'kay?"

Arial buries their face into his chest and hugs him tightly, shuddering. Gosh they needed this. It helped a TON, and eventually relaxed enough for him to take over. He could do it by force, of course, but it would cause unnecessary pain for them, and he could totally spare some time to comfort them first.

When Arial became aware of their surroundings once again, they could see their room, and Fresh's previous host laying unconscious next to them on the couch. It still kinda hurt, but not as bad as the first moments of the possession. And It felt weird, to not be in control over their movements anymore. They immediately imagined a self image of themselves in their mind, which they could control, unlike their real body, for some semblance of autonomy and expression. They trusted him though, so they believed it'll be alright. Fresh chuckled at their immediate usage of their imagination. They sure were imaginative!

He stood up and lifted his previous host bridal style, planning to drop them off where he found them.

"Are they gonna be alright?" -Arial asked in their mind

"Totes. Dey just need a lotta rest!" He Fresh-poofed to the universe his host originated from and left them somewhere safe.

"Are we just gonna leave them here, and not even wait until they wake up?"

"They got close ones to take care of them, and I don't want dem seeing me"

"Oh, alright, fair."

Fresh poofed back to Arial's place

"Alrighty my homie! Time to pick out a radical new fit yo!" Arial was excited, and definitely helped a lot with their eye for art, style, and aesthetics, even picking out their own accessories that fitted the fit, a lot of which they made themselves. (Which are actually my accessories, I didn't just made them up) After a lot of experimenting, the fit looked let's say, somewhat like this:

But with more details like goofy necklaces and lots of colorful bracelets, including handmade Aroace and Agender bracelets, because coincidentally it fits both of them.

Fresh took them for his usual shenanigans and adventures, and it was fun. (Just imagine that Arial is the host when you see that kind of fiction or art with Fresh, like I did)

Eventually though, they take a chill at a random hotel, laying on the bed. With Fresh giving back control to them, it didn't hurt as much. Having his true form woven around their bones felt.. comforting, actually. It was nice. They were glad he trusted them enough to give up control over them for a bit. They wished to pet him.

"Pet me?" -Fresh asked. This of course required a lot of trust, to let them touch his fragile vulnerable form.

"Yeah." They responded in a soft voice. Not an ounce of bad intent.

"Okay." He partially crawled out of their ribs, and she started gently running their phalanges over his tentacles. It was a nice moment of peace, and comfort. Felt nice for Fresh too.

A good few weeks into the possession, there was a moment when Fresh was listening to some music, and played 'Sailor Stars Song (full)' specifically, cause he likes Sailor Moon, and it was like a massive wave of nostalgia and memories washed over Arial, their soul responding in kind. Y'see, Sailor Moon was their favorite childhood show (mine too), and Sailor Stars was their favorite opening song (mine too), and they haven't heard it in such a long time. That's why they reacted with such big emotions. And with emotions, their soul produced more energy, enough to smoothly slip out of Fresh's control and start moving along to the music, without even thinking about it. Fresh was startled, and a bit unsettled, because hosts taking over usually means bad things for him, and they aren't supposed to do it so easily! He calms down after he realizes they just wanna vibe to the music and mean absolutely no harm to him though, and recalls the time when they already told him that's how their soul works. When Arial noticed they were in control, they started passionately singing along to it and dancing, tears running down their face out of nostalgia and happiness. Once the song ended, they started gushing over how much they loved Sailor Moon, that it was their favorite childhood show, and Fresh was like: "You love Sailor Moon too?? Sick! B-D"

"Wanna binge watch the entirety of Sailor Moon 90's anime?"

"Of course I do broski!"

They proceeded to binge watch the entirety of Sailor Moon 90's anime, and specials.

[To be continued. Someday...]

[frodothefair]

Marilijah headcanons I need to put somewhere

From the fic Expats Disclaimer: this is fiction. Marina is an OC. No affiliation with Elijah Wood here, as much as I might wish it. Tags: @konjugaltdien @konartiste @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras

Elijah is really nice, and therefore not good at ending conversations.

They get their groceries delivered, but something is invariably forgotten, or Elijah wants to get Marina a treat, or they want to try cooking something new, so Elijah goes shopping after work and oftentimes gets lost in the grocery store. For him, grocery shopping is a sort of "normaling," since so much in show business is not normal. Unfortunately, this often means that he spends an inordinate amount of time sniffing things in the toiletries aisle, buying five things that he never planned to buy, failing to find half of what he intended to get, and coming home late.

If Elijah comes home and says, "bae, I'm sorry, I messed up," 99% of the time it has to do with the above grocery store scenario.

Marina has generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. Her OCD is, luckily, medicated, but before it was she kept having intrusive thoughts about typos causing people halfway across the world to die. She also has OCPD (obsessive compulsive personalty disorder - basically the equivalent of a "type A personality," which comes in handy for being academically competitive and later a lawyer). Her generalized anxiety makes her worry, irrationally, that her marriage will fall apart, though she will never admit it. No medication or therapy can touch that worry. She has a bag or container for everything, and her bags have bags inside of them.

Elijah, on the other hand, is a very haphazard, disorganized packer. He basically just dumps things in a suitcase and goes.

Marina has it on semi-good authority from Dom Monaghan that at one point, Elijah didn't have a suitcase and simply dumped all of his belongings into a garbage bag, slung it over his shoulder, and got on a plane. Elijah disputes this ever happened.

It took Elijah years not to have crumbs all over the interior of his car.

They hardly ever actually fight, but they like to pretend-escalate fights about petty issues, turning to comical ad-hominem attacks, i.e.

--well, I'm not the one who traveled across the country to get a record from an old hippie in Bumblef-ck, Missouri, only to find out that the record doesn't even exist! --well, at least every inch of my my desk isn't covered with post-it notes, and my post-it notes don't have post-it notes!

They pretend to have arguments in public places. Not particularly loud or raucous ones, since they don't love attracting the paparazzi, but if anyone overhears, said person is likely to walk away deeply and irrevocably perturbed by what they heard. They may or may have not re-enacted the scene in Paris Je T'aime about the couple fighting in Père Lachaise cemetery in front of Oscar Wilde's grave. Except in Marilijah's case, they were fighting in front of Balzac's grave, and Elijah kept saying Balzac's name wrong. You know how. ;)

Mr. Nisile's opinion on the above: Those two are completely allergic to being normal, aren't they? Me: well, yeah, that's kind of the point.

[bigirlbased]

fallowl au rambles again!!!!!!!!

so i thought i would yap about the fallowl au again cause theres some little things i thought of and i think are neat btw some little things before the yapping begins if anyone wants to make art or anything of this they are allowed just tag me in it (if you have your own fallout X owl house au you dont have to give me credit or anything though i dont own the idea, just if its based on mine specifically tag me) also im still debateing if i wanna make this a fic, im not the best writer but i have some experience (mainly oc rps with friends and such) so i think it would still be a alright story anyways on with the yapping ive mentioned gus and willow in previous post but i think ill expand on them here. As stated previously they are both residents of freeside (the poor crime ridden outskirts of the new vegas strip) and they both retain there cannon personalitys mostly.

willow was adopted by her two dads at a very young age and grew up not in freeside for the first few years of her life before her family moved there thinking it would be a fresh start, shes been living there for a while and has developed interest in gardening and plants in general, she also used to be friends with amity blight who would sneak into freeside with her siblings for an adventure but they one day stopped coming. Shes best friends with gus and works for the followers of the apocalypse with her dads.

Gus was born and raised in freeside, his dad is an amature reporter that makes news papers for the people of freeside and host his own radio show. Gus is best freinds with willow and likes to explore ruined buildings and other things. See gus has developed a fascination with pre war America, wanting to know everything about how people lived before the bombs fell, however he just kinda goes off gueses so he isnt always the most accurate with his assumptions Willow and Gus go on adventures around freeside and are a well established part of the comunity, everyone is pretty chill with them. what?! a short post from biboibased?! yeah i kept this one pretty consise, i was gonna go into more detail on luz king and eda but im gonna do that in a separate post

[redhoodedtodd]

you can’t tell, but I’m dozing off under this mask

#redhoodedtodd— independent selective jason todd blog from the dc universe. medium activity. crossover friendly. 18+ only. written by puff (she/her 25+). mutuals only.

dark & questionable themes present. please read rules before following.

site. memes. multimuse & criminal!hawks blogs.

18+ Only. I am over 25, and I will only write with people over 18. If I believe I am speaking with someone below legal age, I will cut off contact immediately.

21+ Shipping. I am so sorry to anyone under 21, but I am more comfortable writing ships / more intimate relationships with those over the age of 21. I’m still happy to write with anyone over 18 in a general manner, but I just don’t want to write that, you know?

No Bigotry. I know I write some HELLA problematic kids, but ooc we do not take any of the phobias. Just leave. (I didn’t think I needed to say this specifically but I do not support JKR. I like the sandbox, I like how people write the characters, I think she’s a bigoted bitch. Verse will be tagged if it's used.)

Following. I will probably only follow blogs I see myself having fandoms in common && I will have read your rules. I am happy to write with OCs as well and am duplicate friendly! (Please please please I miss my old Todd Squad.) I will not follow those who are critical of what others are writing in their own spaces. I can respect having boundaries. I do not respect calling people names or hammering down on people for their interest in fictional topics.

Ending Contact / Blocking. The block button is a friend and I advise we all get to know her.

If we are mutuals and you unfollow for any reason other than inactivity please hard block me. I do not mind and I will not dig into it. I mainly do not want to cause discomfort because my forgetful ass follows you again. Moreover, I don’t want to be under the impression we’re still mutuals. I’ve gotten chewed out for it before and I’m way too sensitive for this world.

If I unfollow from inactivity or just no interaction, I'll probably soft block. I just prefer to do so.

If I’ve blocked you and we’ve never interacted? I just don’t see us meshing and/or something in your rules made me decide my blog may not be for you. No one is perfect for everyone.

If I am made to feel uncomfortable for any reason, I will cut off communication and block. The block button is a friend. We love her.

Triggers. This blog can and probably will contain dark, questionable, and possibly problematic themes. I will tag things as appropriately as I can. I will not tag things out of fanon thought (i.e. ‘they’re like brothers’ does not equal incest). All ship art / ship threads will have tags. Block them or block me. Again, I don’t mind. I don’t have many triggers, but will not be writing the following:

Any terminal illness au threads or any thread that has terminal illness romanticized.

Any romance / sexual relationship between a minor and an adult. All my muses partaking in a relationship WILL be 18+, though more likely 21+.

Anything regarding scat or vomit.

On Shipping.

Do not force ships on me. I will not force ships on you. I don’t mean don’t approach me and ask— I mean don’t have your muse automatically talk about having an intimate relationship with mine without discussion. My muses USUALLY need to work up to ships and I most likely will NOT instantly ship unless we’ve discussed it because in canon characters are married or DEEPLY involved.

Some of my muses may NEVER be truly interested in a relationship despite having feelings for someone. I apologize for that, but I really love complicated dynamics and sometimes a muse can't accept love.

Also— please do not take me talking about a certain ship and/or writing fic or drabble about a certain ship as me trying to pressure you into it! I post a lot of Jason/Roy content, for example, but my Jason is not easy to romance! I love all kinds of dynamics.

Length. I’m not a stickler for matching length by any means, but PLEASE give me something to work with, even if it is continued from a meme. I will most likely not reply to one-liners.

Writing Multiples. I am open to playing multiple characters within a thread (NPCs included).

Characterization. My characterization of my character is my own. Do not force your headcanons for my character on me. Please at least read the snippet of “about characterization” before we thread, or ask me and I will gladly tell you. I will bring it to your attention if something has been misinterpreted.

Literate. My job includes copy editing... so I don't want to write with a mass of errors. I expect my writing partners to be literate-- though of course errors happen and I'm perfectly understanding!

God Modding. Do not godmod. Do not assume things of my characters. Do not try to control the actions of my muses— NPCs I am happy to share 'custody' of. Exceptions are made for small things that help more the story forward.

Drama. I REALLY didn’t think I needed to add this. Do not, under any circumstances, involve me in your drama. Do not take our mutual status as a reason to bring me into your battles. I do not want details, I don’t want information, I will block you. Unless someone is harming REAL MINORS or doxxing people? I do not want to know your beef.