#how do you play with someone’s life taking advantage of their youth and will

[timetohealit]

.

[sorcerous-caress]

So fun fact about me irl I work with children but often my teacher language slips out like telling my friends to say “bye bye bus”, telling another person in my lecture writing to “be nice to the pencil, it’s your friend.” And greeting a roomful of grown as adults with good morning boys and girls. It’s mortifying but How do you think the companions would react to having a teacher!tav slip up like that.

Dealing with a Teacher Tav

[Bg3, fluff, platonic kinda, nb!reader]

[Gale, Shadowheart, Laezel, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc]

Gale

He delightfully plays along whenever you tell him to thank a stranger or say goodbye to an inanimate object. He thinks it's very silly and joyous.

Teachers have always been a big part of his life, it doesn't phase him in the slightest when you unawarly awake the deep memories of being in wizards pre-school for him.

Says good morning to you back, adding a teacher honorific at the end for the sake of being playful while asking if you've finally graded the homework he handed in.

He gives you an apple occasionally. He thinks he is very hilarious.

Shadowheart

She freezes in awkwardness whenever it happens, not sure if you’re being serious or just playing around. Sometimes, you don't even register slipping up as go on with your day, leaving her wondering if she's imagining things.

She has zero experience with the school system, completely confused by the need to say thank you for carriage after it arrived. It's just a carriage, why should she?

One time while her and Laezel were arguing, you used the same call you'd use in the classroom to get the kids to quiet down and it completely caught them both off guard. They just stood there baffled, forgetting their original argument.

Laezel

Why, yes, she is very familiar with teachers. In fact, she was the best out of her class, ask any githyanki teacher, and they'd tell you endless praise about her throat cutting techniques and sword welding stances.

You, whoever, use very unusual teaching techniques. How would learning a song about washing your hand and brushing your teeth help her in slaying her enemies?

Intriguing, so you take advantage of the brain's tendency to latch on to phrases that rhyme, which makes them easier to remember? And you encode your melodies with instructions to embed them into the impressionable youth?

Huh. She actually is impressed. She made her decision, you will lend your teaching skills to help her embed the most effect way of fracturing someone's spine into a melody to spread to the githyanki children.

Wyll

As someone who has been an unofficial teacher for so many kids throughout his years, he can relate to your struggle a lot. He slips up more than he cares to admit.

The both of you meeting early in the morning while still groggy and tired, your brains working on automatic mods as you greet each other with the same high pitched enthusiastic voice you use to greet a toddler.

Then just stare at each other, complete understanding between the two of you. Like two people accidentally using their customer service voice in front of the other.

You struggle to tie your boots once, and he unconsciously bends down to tie them for you while using the rabbit loop euphemism, only to stop in his tracks as he realises what he's doing.

He uses a curse word once, and you immediately use your teachers voice and say, "we don't speak like that here, that's wasn't very nice."

You're both tired, you both need a nap and neither of you brings it up when the other slips.

Karlach

Much like Gale, she finds it extremely amusing. Top tier comedy to her. Unlike Gale, she hasn't been to any proper schooling system, so she doesn't exactly know what most of these phrases mean or imply.

In a way, it lets her pretend she was a part of something like a school in her youth, like she could've had a normal childhood like everyone else.

She'd indulge you, saying goodbye and thank you to the pigeon that delivered her a letter, or overhearing Wyll's rabbit loop ryhme and whispering it under her breath as she ties her own boots. Who knew this could've been so easy?

Astarion

You remind him of how Leon was with his daughter back in Cazador's manor. Astarion never was close with any of them, but still, he sometimes overheard him attempting to give his daughter a semblance of a normal childhood and growth.

It's endearing when you accidentally use your teaching ways while dealing with the owlbear cub, but he'll never admit it.

Doesn't indulge you with it, he has appearance to keep. Well, unless he has a chance to twist your innocent meaning words into a sex or gorey joke like the 12y old humour that he has.

Ah, the scrowl on your face is the exact same one Leon had around him, such fond memories.

Halsin

Ah, you bring him back to his old days of having to deal with the children at the grove. Although his methods focused more on showing them that nature is a friend rather than inanimate objects.

But who is he to judge your ways? If anything he could learn a thing or two from you to add to his skillset.

Tells you about the fables that were passed down from elf to elf throughout the generations, animal stories have always done a great part in teaching him morality.

Do you happen to have any? Maybe you could tell it to the children of the grove, they are good kids.

Minthara

As a noble, she was only given the best and most prestigious of teachers while growing up. Even the ones that weren't a drow would still be considered the best of the best, crème de la crème.

Yet not a single one of them applied such...childish methods. etiquette and discipline were taught by the lash and threat of punishment, not lullabies and gentle guidance.

....it's not as bad as she imagined.

She doesn't get why some of your companions find it amusing. She doesn't bother indulging either.

But sometimes, sometimes, when it's just the two of you, and she is sure not a single soul is around, she will reply with a pun with the most deadpan face expression you've seen.

Jaheira

Despite what most would think, she actually integrated the same methods into her teachings back when her kids were little, it just happened to be weaved with her more dangerous lifestyle ascept.

Here comes the plane, with the airplane usual holding a good dosage amount of poison to build resistance.

A short rhyme about what to check before leaving the house, except the list has a suspicious amount of daggers and trap disarm kits in it.

If it works, it works, so what if she had to alter a kid's book about a honey loving yellow bear into one with decipherable texts to teach them Harpers' secret communication language.

Minsc

Ah! Boo does use the same method on him sometimes, the two of you have a lot in common. Although Boo's methods do involve a bit of biting every now and then.

Say, how about he teaches you some fables from Rashemen, a lot of them are about a rabbit who got lost after not listening to his witch frog companion.

You could use it in your teachings later! Show the youth the importance of good teamwork. Yes, he is aware of the fact he didn't listen to Jaheira and got captured by the cult. No, he doesn't see why this is relevant? Why is Boo suddenly agreeing with you? He is supposed to be on his side.

[phantoms-lair]

If you're still taking crossover roulette requests, 59 please.

Tim had he doubts about being Robin. About whether he was good enough to follow in the footsteps of Dick, of Jason. That's why he was in Paris, supposed to be training with an old acquaintance of Bruce's.

Except said old acquaintance was no longer here. And now Tim had to figure out what to do next.

"Yen for your thoughts?" A Japanese youth sat next to him.

"Who are you?' Tim asked.

The teen shrugged. "Just a guy who's down on his luck and hearing your woes will distract me from my own."

Tim weighed his words. "I was in training for a position that requires three things. Intelligence, stealth, and combat ability. The first two I can do, the last I need more training. I was supposed to meet a specialist here, but he's gone and now I don't know what to do. Going back home feels like admitting defeat. That I failed. And I can't, I promised..."

"And promises are important. I get that." he nodded his head and winced. "That guy you were sent here to find...it didn't happen to be Ramuh Lama or his grandson?"

Tim sat up straight.

"Of course," the Japanese guy muttered. "So I have a friend who's a little...spatially challenged. We say he gets lost easily but it more than that. Unless he's being led to a place, he sort of...teleports randomly. And he never believes it's as bad as it is as he always gets to where he wants to go...eventually. I made the mistake of following him instead of leading him and that's why I'm in Paris. We heard about Ramuh Lama and thought he'd be interesting to learn from. Our first meeting seemed promising, but my guess is Ryoga tried to lead them somewhere because all three up and vanished. So they'll show back up. Eventually."

Tim buried his head in his hands.

"Hey, maybe we can help each other out." the Japanese guy said brightly. "I don't speak French and I'm not very bright, but the one thing I know how to do is fight. I've never taught before, but if Pop's can do it, I can! Well, maybe not how Pops did it, but I'll figure it out! So I'll teach you how to fight, and you help me, like, get a place to stay without people asking for an ID. Deal?"

"You don't want a way home?" Tim asked.

The guy winced. "I did at first. But...gonna be honest, living rough in France has been way less stressful. So I don't mind prolonging it until Ryoga gets back."

Sounded like something for Tim to look into. Not just a bad home life, but apparently someone who only barely knew the warning signs of one. "Call me Robin."

"Ranma." the now named Ranma grinned. "Oh I know how to start this off!"

~

"What is this place?"

"Underground fighting arena." Ranma said. "Food and rent for me, and a menu for you."

"A menu?" Tim asked.

"There are as many different ways of fighting as there are fish in the sea. I'll enter, thankfully some of the organizers speak English, and you'll watch. Not who wins or loses, but how different competitors fight, so you'll know what you want to learn."

"Rent? I thought you couldn't find a place to stay?"

Ranma shrugged. "I can't because I don't speak French and a foreigner without reservations is weird enough people are going to look into me and then I get in trouble for entering the country illegally. But I'm going to need money for when you fix that." Thankfully fast food places were less discerning.

Ranma went to the fighter's area and Tim settled in among the betters. He had some ideas going through his head. A weapon to make up for his smaller size and reach. Probably a style like Judo where he could take advantage of his opponents being bigger than him. He noted different moves as he saw them, mentally cataloging asking Ranma to teach him. And then Ranma took the arena, four men set against him when previously that fights had been one on one.

And Tim felt something click inside him. Ranma was strong, that was undeniable. But he didn't fight like someone who was strong. He played with his opponents, matching their capabilities, but able to amp it up when he felt it necessary. He was fast, almost too fast for Tim to see. He played his foes against each other, maneuvering them in each other's way and setting them all up for a fall.

This...this was how Robin should fight. All the techniques and holds Tim had been cataloguing were discarded. And for a moment he felt bad that he was grateful Ryoga had wandered off with Ramuh Lama.

He was looking down at the Robin he wanted to be. And thankful he had him as a teacher.

~~~~

Notes on this:

Ranma can speak English because the Chi Vampire is an excellent motivations to excel in class.

Tim gives Robin as his name because that's how he identifies himself to Chuck in the comics this is taking place during

Tim WILL learn the Umi-Sen Ken

Tim offers to bring Ranma back to Gotham. Ranma declines. Catwoman lives there.

Yes, they're both going to run into Lady Shiva and get some training

Shiva is very impressed with Ranma, and at one point while fighting in his female form comments that if he had been closer to her age, David Cain might have approached her for birthing a weapon for him.

Tim and Ranma add tracking down Cassandra Cain to their to do list.

Tim shows back up at Wayne Manor several months late, with very scary fighting skills and two dark haired kids he's adopted as siblings(Ranma caved on coming to help with Cass and the assurance that Catwoman only came out at night).

Alfred is now concerned that Tim is FAR more like Master Bruce than previously thought

[devine-fem]

As someone who likes Damijon as both platonic and romantic…I don’t understand the obsession of certain antis bring up whole age gap thing when it comes to Damian and Jon. It’s getting really old and pissing me off at this point.

I can’t recall a fandom I’ve been in where antis kept bringing up an age gap between two characters.

Idk if I’m talking out of my ass but it sounds like as if antis think the fandom puts Damijon in sexual situations 24/7 when that’s not the case.

Jfc no one is forcing you to ship them if you don’t (it’s not even canon!) but don’t go around accusing the fandom as p*d*s just to make a point. ( I know in fandoms there some weirdos too but it doesn’t make up a whole)

Let the Damijon fandom enjoy whatever crumbles they are getting right now…because it’s really just crumbles at this point.

If those antis also consist of those who are our rival ships (they know who they are) like yall are getting canon content rn from DC if you’re upset with the quality of it speak with your wallet idk…???

Sorry for the rant it’s just for the most part Damijon fandom has been pretty chill (excluding Twitter that’s another can of worms) and I hate the accusations parts of the fandom love to make.

Yeah… people don’t talk about how Jon had to be 11 to Damian’s 13 before he left for space because they only read super sons, they never really look at any other source or think about their ages as more than that because tom taylor said out his mouth that they were 3 years apart when dissing the ship BUT he admits himself to not know their exact ages and that it could be a 2 year age gap.

So I just think of it as two years, and with two years I don’t really care because personally even in my youth I’ve been with people who are two years older with no issue because age alone doesn’t determine whether or not someone is taking advantage of you for obvious reasons. Age gaps are not tangible things, to some people what you consider weird is normal to someone else.

Then there’s the fact that neither Jon or Damian have birthdays. Damian was aged up for teen titans which people don’t seem to care about. Among other things like how Jon and Damian are the same age in most other universes… did you know that? Also, people like to say theres a maturity gap but forget that Damian was the immature one that picked fights. Plus, when characters grow up beside each other then it’s less ‘weird’ cause then they are expierencing similar traumas. It’s probably lots smaller then we think.

When I talk about them with a three year age gap then its probably platonic but sometimes romantic, two years then its sometimes platonic or romantic, one year, platonic or romantic and I stay between these because their age can slightly change their dynamic. It’s for fun, its exploring their platonic dynamic if it had elements of romance to it. Its interchangeable to me but for the most parts its two.

They are barbies that I play with at my own free will. They are not real people, they may imitate life but they do not infact replicate it.

So yeah… when they are young I only ever have really seen or interacted with media where J and D have not done more than maybe peck. Its just supposed to be cute and sweet.

Do people not understand the concept of the fact Jon and Damian should not be getting into a serious relationship while they are young or else it would go horribly wrong? Do they not understand that a lot of the ships appeal in the childhood friends TO lovers factor?

It kind of bothers me to be having to put the fact that I l hate Jonjay and like Daminika in my bio so people can get a feel for the type of person I am. And “rival” ships? there’s no rivalry, I don’t feel threatened by other peoples ships at all… especially if they’re canon… unless its like jonjay where the origin of the ship is inherently problematic, substanceless and built on character assassination… but we hate damijon and praise THAT? We say that damijon is worse than that? I’m sorry but jonjay to jon kent is jayroy to roy harper to me.

Twitter is very strange, very very strange people on that app to which this morning I had to uninstall because I KNEW that they would feel threatened by damijons today and hate profusely in response to it.

Although, you guys gotta put that age gap shit to bed…

Dami look 14 here to you? If Damijons are the ones who don’t read comics then how do we know that they are well in their 20s and 30s here. They are both consenting adults in main continuity that can do as they please here. You simply cannot say anything. No arguement can be supported now because now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

There was no point in hate the age gap really in the first place since time was always gonna heal it anyway???

But part of me kind of understands hating it if you experience fandom through twitter which is not a fandom app at all. Damijon stans are annoying and gross on twitter, I get it but not everyone is inherently horrible for obvious reasons.

[drakaripykiros130ac]

Can you comment and give your opinion on this post? I find it nonsense

https://www.tumblr.com/starlight-and-thunder/732982971613741056/about-sir-criston-in-house-of-the-dragon

Hi! I have made a thorough analysis of the night Rhaenyra slept with Crispin. The link is right here:

https://www.tumblr.com/drakaripykiros130ac/733879360535281664/green-stans-rhaenyra-used-criston-and-coerced

It basically explains how Rhaenyra absolutely did NOT coerce Crispin to sleep with her, and how a kingsguard took advantage of the princess he was sworn to protect in order to satisfy his sexual desires.

I have read the post you mentioned and it is absolute nonsense, just as you say. Most of what is said in it has already been contradicted by me in my own analysis.

Long story short: Crispin became the sworn shield to a princess of only 14 in the show, and 8 in the books. In the show, you can clearly see his attraction towards her since the moment he first saw her. He was practically undressing her with his eyes.

He had been a constant in her life for years and years (unlike Daemon, who was mostly gone from Court). Rhaenyra basically grew up with Crispin at her side (and Harwin too).

And the night Rhaenyra returned from the brothel, she was drunk and upset. He insisted on getting in her business, as he always does, and ended up playing “catch the helmet” with her in her own bedroom. Was it really that necessary for him to continue playing and take that helmet back, when he clearly saw the state she was in?

No. He chose to stay. And when she kissed him, his mouth said “no” but his body was screaming “YES”. He didn’t walk out that door as he was supposed to. No one held a gun to his head. On the contrary, he was enjoying himself when kissing her, and then he is even seen smiling. It’s obvious what was in his mind at that moment: “Yay! I finally get to sleep with the princess!”

And to even suggest that Rhaenyra would do something to get him in trouble, tortured or killed is beyond bullshit. When has Rhaenyra ever displayed this kind of viciousness or cunningness in her youth? When has the Realm’s Delight done harm to a close friend? Because I remind you that she considered Crispin a close friend at that time. She would have NEVER done anything to harm him. If he had walked out that door and not taken advantage of her, she wouldn’t have said anything (she would have probably been too ashamed herself to even mention the night ever again). Just as she said nothing after they did the deed.

After Crispin betrayed her and practically became her “enemy” out of pettiness, did Rhaenyra say something about that night? No, she didn’t. She could have. She could have gotten Crispin fired at least or had his head chopped off and there was nothing that Alicent or the Hightowers could have done about it. She could have gone to her father and the Council and accused him of having r*ped her out of revenge for how he started treating her, as well as her sons. Rhaenyra was the Crown Princess and he was a kingsguard who was already on thin line for having murdered someone at her own wedding without facing any consequences. I doubt that Viserys or the Council would have disregarded her accusations. Lord Commander Westerling would have surely believed her, and would have told Crispin to remove his cloak. Alicent would not have been able to protect him. Rhaenyra could have been rid of him for good.

But did she do that? No. And that’s pretty honorable of her if you ask me. I am certain other women wouldn’t have wasted the opportunity to ruin someone like him if they could.

And what was it that Alicent herself said in the book? It was something like “Who protects the princess from Ser Criston Cole?”

If Alicent herself ends up saying that, Crispin’s intentions towards the young princess are rather obvious. His desire for the princess, both in the show and in the book obviously meant more to him than those vows he took or the white cloak. He is no honorable knight. And then he had the nerve to blame her for his own vice, and practically demand her hand in marriage just so he wouldn’t feel guilty for what he willingly did. After she rejected him, he turned into a spurned lover and did everything in his power to ruin her life simply because he hated her. This man should have never been allowed to wear that white cloak. He is an embarrassment.

To even suggest that Rhaenyra is to blame for what happened that night between her and a man sworn to protect her is just preposterous.

[neonthewrite]

Two Thieves

Finally, some progress on GTJuly (2023)! This next prompt was "Weapon" and I really flip flopped on what to write for this one. Until I remembered Eral and his extremely effective weapons that really level the playing field for a teeny little pixie.

~~~

Two thieves watched and waited, putting in their best effort to avoid looking like thieves. Leaning against a wall and keeping an eye on the many coming and going in the market could easily start to look like loitering if they weren’t careful, but they’d been at this long enough to mind their demeanor. Sturdy, plain canvas clothes, a little too worn to mark them as students at the college taking up a good portion of the eastern district of the city but not worn enough for anyone to accuse them of being hard workers, helped them blend in. Just another pair of humans in a city largely populated by humans. They could be travelers, or locals on a break from tending one of the nearby shops, or youths sneaking off from their errands.

But no. They were thieves.

The taller and bulkier of the two, who usually went by Arden, scanned the crowd without noticing most of the faces. The city wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small, either, and a lot of people from all walks of life wandered through. Arden looked for signs of an easy mark anywhere but the faces he wouldn’t remember anyway.

His companion, Willow, an aptly-named little thing who used his extra-youthful looks to great advantage most of the time, watched the crowd with much more boredom, until suddenly his face lit up. “Arden. By the tailor shop. Red topped foreigner.”

Arden lazily scanned towards the tailor shop. No need to be obvious about his gaze. Indeed, near the shop, he found said foreigner happily chatting up the owner of a fruit and wine cart on the broad sidewalk. The guy wore travel clothes that might have been fine once, but had since worn out. His pack hung heavy on his shoulders. His armor was light and spry and he held himself like one who knew how to draw attention. By his brown skin and deep red hair, he probably got his fair share of sidelong glances in this area. Something seemed familiar about the tattoos on his forearms, bared by his rolled up sleeves as he gestured along with whatever tale he told the cart owner.

“Meraevrian?” Arden guessed, his mouth barely moving. “What’s he doing all the way up here?”

Willow shrugged, but he’d clearly made up his mind about something. “He’s probably got some good trinkets from far away. What say I find out where he’s—is that a pixie with him?”

Arden hadn’t noticed right away, either. From several shops away, the two thieves could hardly be blamed for not noticing the tiny figure standing right atop the cart, also involved in the conversation. Leaf wings and verdant armor made them look like a little decoration for the wares on offer. The pixie couldn’t be more than six inches tall.

And suddenly Arden thought he knew who that pair was. “Foreign redhead with a leafy pixie … we’re gonna forget we ever saw them, you hear me, Will?”

Willow turned a frown his way. “Seriously? A wandering chatterbox and a tiny little fairy? They’d be a cinch. We might even be able to get some pixie dust, if not a whole pixie—”

“We don’t muddy our hands with stealing people, you idiot,” Arden snapped at him, again barely moving his mouth lest someone somehow read his side of the conversation. “Besides. I heard about those two. If it was just one or the other I’d have missed the signs. But there’s been rumors about the Meraevrian and his pixie friend.”

Willow slumped against the wall again, but seemed to accept the warning. “What, is the guy a tough mage or something?”

Arden huffed in lieu of shaking his head. “What I hear, he’s just a bard. Not much going on there that we need to worry about. It’s the pixie we need to be careful not to piss off. And not for any of those ‘beware the fae’ reasons.”

Willow’s expression flattened. “Horse. Shit. The little fae are still little. You could cart that guy off in a pint if you wanted to.”

Arden turned a sharp gaze on his confident friend. “That pixie has weapons, Willow. Weapons no pixie ought to have their tiny little hands on, and yet they’re made for him. Take a good look at him, yeah?”

Willow did so, and Arden watched warily, too. The pixie, seen from a distance, really didn’t look formidable at all. If not for his wings being open and occasionally twitching with whatever he said to his companion, they might not be recognizable. He looked just like any of the small fae, entirely too easy to mess with if they decided it. Willow was probably coming to the same conclusion all over again, so Arden nudged his shoulder with an elbow. “That little guy has a crossbow that shoots through anything. See it on his belt? And the rapier on the other side deals more pain than any needle that size ever should.”

Willow scoffed. “I dunno. Anything better than rumors about them?”

Arden scoffed back, managing to sound much less like a petulant child as he did so. “Take it from Sal at the bar, who heard from a friend of an acquaintance of an associate that a man two towns over got both hands lopped off by one shot from that pixie. So he’s got good aim, too. And maybe they are just rumors. But I like having both hands. So I’m going to leave the damn pixie and his bard alone, and you can sing that to the gods.”

Willow glared up at Arden, still unconvinced. Arden stared back, unbothered by Willow’s disbelief. He’d never apologize for being cautious, especially when there were far less risks involved in targeting almost anyone else visiting the market that day. Neither of them could afford those rumors being true.

As usual, eventually Arden’s steady conviction won out against Willow’s impatience. Willow sighed and returned to scanning the crowd, though they both glanced towards the cart when the bard and pixie took their leave. Those leaf wings became a green blur for the short flight from the cart to the man’s shoulder, and the sun winked off the rapier at the little guy’s hip even from that distance.

Two thieves watched and waited and pretended they never saw either of those newcomers to town.

[wishcamper]

meditation on motivations at the beginning of acosf

Nesta: Nesta wants relief. Nesta wants catharsis. She looks for spaces to unspool and unmask from all the suffocating expectations or her past life and her current one. She doesn't want to slide into acceptance of all that's happened, she wants to scream without being scolded. Nesta wants to be a grown woman who can explode as loudly as she’s like. She’s told from birth that her emotions are wrong or too big or inconvenient or embarrassing or inconsequential and just wants everyone to fuck off because it’s the only way to feel however the hell she wants. Nesta wants license to accomplish absolutely nothing with her life. Nesta wants to resist the system by sitting fucking still, refusing to play the game. Nesta is a conscientious objector to life and love.

Cassian: Cassian wants clarity. Cassian wants information to know how he is existing in this system of his family and what the expectations are. He reads people’s cues to determine what they want from him, because this is how he stays safe. He exherts control heads off conflicts because this is how he keeps his family safe. He needs everyone to be okay, because that's the only time he can rest. Cassian wars with his anxiety and it often gets the best of him, which embarrasses him. Instead he hides his anxiety and doesn’t realize the distance it creates between himself and his friends. Anxiety is a tool of control but also of protection. When he can make peace with his worries, it gives his friends space to be vulnerable, too. It also makes him feel less alone. He finds this in pockets with Nesta, because she is very clear that she doesn't need him.

Azriel: Azriel wants punishment. Azriel wants atonement. He tortures and kills because he believes he has to keep people safe from bad stuff like him. That violence is the only way toward peace. His sense of justice is veeeery black and white - bad people have bad intentions and good people have good intentions. He sees himself, unequivocally, as a bad, which creates cognitive dissonance as he tries to do good. he resolves this by dooing very bad things on behalf of who he believes are good people. He works to atone for his nature despite believing it can never change. Azriel wants to be left alone with his contradictions. He funnels his normal needs into a desire for love, which gives him a convenient avenue for denying his needs altogether. But unmet needs fester, and Azriel is bitter. Bitterness is a shield.

Feyre: Feyre wants peace. Feyre wants harmony, and she will fight to get it. Feyre is good at making the best of any situation. She was born learning to adapt, and while that makes her easy to take advantage of and have a large tolerance for suffering, it also makes her resilient! It’s a tradeoff. Feyre wants everyone to get along. Feyre wants everyone to be well. Feyre takes it as a personal failure when someone she loves is struggling, much like Cassian. Feyre wants to be trusting and connected.

Rhysand: Rhys wants security. Rhys wants Feyre. Rhys recognizes that feyre is so young, and is afraid he’s stolen her youth and her life from her. He is also terrified of losing a loved one because he might lose control of his power and become destructive. But instead of focusing more on controlling his power like he tells Nesta to do, he displaces his anxiety by trying to create a world where that could never happen (impossible). Rhys wants people to do their best. That’s why he loves Feyre- Feyre always does her best. Rhys has muscled through so much hardship it feels threatening when someone suggests you can simply live in your despair for a while. That healing is not linear nor accomplished through pure hard work and determination. Rhys is a bootstrapper. He attaches to bootstrappy people. People who are not like this confuse him. And when he is confused it usually turns to angry.

Mor: Mor wants autonomy. Mor wants final say over who she is and what she does and how other people treat her and how they fit into her life. Mor is very invested in things around her being predictable so she can act unpredictably within them. Mor wants a safe container to rebel inside. Mor both wants to be told what to do and be allowed to do whatever the hell she wants. Mor wants everyone to care about her in exactly she way she wants them to. Mor has a father wound (the kinder name for "daddy issues") and the internalized sexism to go with it. it's not her fault, but it is affecting others.

Amren: I don’t know what Amren wants. I don’t know if Amren knows what Amren wants. She floats from pleasure to pleasure and denies herself nothing. She is very invested in Rhys for reasons that seem to have ulterior motives. There is a long game being played so it’s tricky to know what is an act and what is sheer mind numbing boredom. Probably both.

[fishedeyelenz]

For that little ask game :3

Camille !

🥵 : does Camille like to look physically attractive to others? Or! More like her herself. Especially when she's wooing someone

👃 : Does Camille they have a signature scent?

😍 : What does your camille find irresistible in others?

💘 : Is camille a very good flirt? Yeah. They are a demon and can magically charm people. But does Camille have naturally flirtatious abilities

💋 : Is your camille a good kisser? How does she do it?

🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your camille get flustered? *Eyebrows eyebrows*

🧸 : Is Camille into public displays of affection or is she more reserved? And if or when she does. Is she herself, or transformed into one of her personas?

💐 : What is hee courting style? How does she woo someone? A one night thing or woo someone into a continuous relationship

Asks for Camille

🥵: when preying on potential victims, she likes to make herself look either conventionally attractive, or model her appearance specifically towards their liking as to make her job easier. Otherwise, she doesn't really care anymore. She takes on the form that comes natural to her, which is looking like a middle aged woman with horns and body hair. She cannot put any more thought into her appearance than necessary, especially since in her mind it doesn't matter, she is not complete. Not to say she doesn't woo ppl with that look either. She certainly managed to get Billy with her middle aged swag. She's kind of glad he's off-put by her taking a more youthful form around him.

👃: frequently smells like blood and sweat, but when she decides not to smell foul she usually goes for pine and outdoors scents. If home from hell she smells like brimstone unfortunately.

😍: my girl is a chubby chaser, she can't get enough of tummies and tits and asses. Love handles. Double points if they wear it with confidence but some ppl are so cute while insecure.

💘: yeah ofc. I don't know how to answer this, ofc she has naturally hood flirtatious abilities, you cannot separate it from her powers. However, if a human knows she is a demon her attempts will come off as more off-putting for some reason.

💋: 6000 years of experience will do wonders. Her tounge methods she keeps secret tho. Keep up if you can.

🔥: touch her somewhere she wouldn't expect to be touched. I'm talking her back. Her tail can be very sensitive too, watch out with it. Billy loves to use these facts to his advantage, while calling her lame pet names. He finds it so cute when she giggles.

🧸: subtle but to the right people obvious displays of affection are her game. Especially if it makes her partner flustered. Ofc in public she is in a persona, and loves to queer it up if she's for example in a same sex coupling. In private she is clingy.

💐: flexible, like Billy's, and depending on her mood. Sometimes she only preys on victims in private. Very private. Possessing their bodies and eating them from the inside out, only appearing to them in dreams or in nightmares. It is more filling to eat a soul like this, as it can be harvested in anguish. When she was younger she played a long con, playing roles while her victim was none the wiser. More time spent, less filling, but more fun for a young demon. Of course, this is something she grew out of....

Rarely does she do one night stands, only when she's desperately hungry. And it's only a small meal, one she uses the fuel her next hunt.

Though now with Billy, she is more secure, and now she varies her hunting and courting style, a certain spark back in her life with a more secure living situation after almost forever. Now she is always ready for mischief.

[roadtophantom]

Let your S(e)oul take you where you long to be (iv) - Jeon Dong-seok

I didn't mean to write a whole section about CSW but now I'm gonna feel terrible if I say less about the other Phantom 'coz he was also phenomenal.

Jeon Dong-seok's show was the first one I got, I managed to modify my seat for three times to get a better view. It was so much easier to book for him that I got wary (did no one want him? why does he still have tickets available every night?) WHICH is an unfair assessment in the face of Phantoms with massive fanbases like Cho Seung-woo. It's still amazing that the tickets eventually sell out (or just leave very few left).

But I learned of JDS from his popularity here on Tumblr and I can definitely see how accomplished he is despite his apparent youth (I think he's the youngest of the 4 Phantoms?) That said, I haven't really listened to him, I wanted to be surprised.

So needless to say his voice blew me away. It took me 4 seconds in the Mirror scene to realize, this, exactly This is what Tumblr fandom was talking about. Because what the heck was that voice?? Like wow.

And he had Such a domineering presence too! His tall and slender physicality (186 cm tall) gave him the presence of a spook that was advantageous for a "larger than life" presence in the theatre.

He had Such an incredible vocal control and mastery too, this is a man who knows how to use his voice as an instrument, knows which part to stretch, which words to relish, which words to accentuate and expound with his vocal power. Practically effortless with the big notes. I can really believe he has the voice of a dark angel. He has been a real treat seeing in person AND watching (when he smoothed his hair *__*).

The impression I got of his Phantom is one who is definitely a young, musical genius, whose tragedy unfortunately is one that's long coming. JDS struck me as a very Byronic Phantom? I guess most Phantoms are Byronic, but I felt it more strongly for this tall, dark gent. He embodied the gloomy and broody persona but with such a passionate inner life. By inner life I mean his music and Christine who are his sole reasons for survival.

(One thing I can say for both Korean Phantoms that I love is how they created their character around Christine worship, like she is this unreachable goddess in their eyes. They are such fools for her).

What's sad about watching JDS's Phantom is how he doesn't seem to have a high regard of himself and even by the time the start of PONR was playing, he knew he was already bound to lose the girl. Jeon Dong-seok is great at playing an anguished Phantom. In the Final Lair, you make out his panic very plainly because he knows it was HIM who went past the point of no return and Christine will never forgive him and he doesn't know what to do with that information. He is so good in playing the character as a melancholic man who was bound to give everything up for Christine's freedom.

He gave me such massive emo tortured soul boys-who-cry feels. Not surprised that his roles tend to gravitate to this type 'coz he mastered it. (He has the most mournful 'Christine, 사랑해~') I feel like he could still figure out more nuances if he could play the character more. But he made such an excellent Phantom and I'm just so happy to have seen him before his Seoul exit.

Also it's so cute how he seems to be this awkward dork backstage who doesn't know what to do with his height or those poses kids do nowadays. I feel like that energy is also present in his onstage performances (I say this as someone who guiltily thinks it gives him crush-worthy material).

[mikkelo]

The Boston's Finest

FADE IN:

INT. BOSTON - DAY

In cassettes and broken tapes, there lie the cityscape of Boston with ambivalence no matter how distorted it may be. Every bouts of liberty and free spirited wanderings surged along the poster filled brick stone walls where the stifling humidity clouds the painted asphalt road. The Central Square neighborhood where shots of kaleidoscopes spread wide on the walls of Modica Way. The dewy petrichor from the cobblestones of Beacon Hill after the rain. The windowpanes in the porch reflect the teetering memories where life expands in the humble avenue. It is where the clip ends but the soul refuses to relent.

It was the 1980s and the world witnessed an uprising in the cinema industry where Die Hard (1988) and Rambo (1988) revolutionized discourse about on-screen violence, Flashdance (1983) and Purple Rain (1984) transformed the power of melodic storytelling, and David Lynch and the Coen Brothers reinforced the auteur theory of directive control. Before the glamour of the groundbreaking dawn of their careers, Hollywood stars Matt Damon and Ben Affleck once chased their shadows in the pavements with their faces smeared with dirt and splotches of heat in their linen shirts together. With their houses blocks apart from Auburn to Cottage Street, the two crossed paths in the latter’s residence while their mothers, Nancy Carlsson-Paige, an early childhood education professor, and Christopher Anne Boldt, who taught in public school, respectively had a wonderful chat. As they confront the tides of fame together with their youthful ardor, their relationship has become a cornerstone for defining a strong platonic bond, a losing art in the mainstream media, where Boston etched itself as their refuge both in conjoined grievances and relief.

CUT TO:

Title: The Warrior and the Clown

INT. CAMBRIDGE - DAY

One can say that the water holds memories for young Affleck who spent a great deal of his childhood under the fins of humpback whales and the dangers of rushing waves. He began his career as C.T. Grandville, the grandson of Captain Grandville, who was played by the scientist Peter Marston, in PBS educational series The Voyage of the Mimi (1984). For the grade schoolers watching, venturing into this journey was met with no trepidations as the show provided valuable information about the physical and biological processes of the planet. After the series ended, he went on to attend Cambridge Rindge and Latin School, where he would encounter Damon again (calling him Matty D.) since they became fast friends due to their shared interests for baseball and movies.

BEN (V.O.) I was 8, he was 10, he was a big kid, he played baseball, he was really cool, he had a bowl cut—those little feathered ones that we all wanted, of course—and he— And he was, you know, nice to me. And we were both interested in the same things.

Having a tad advantage to his age, Damon showed a more mature and passionate outlook for acting, which gave Affleck the boost to take it seriously. This difference in intensity of the mutual linkage they have gave Affleck the affinity to put Damon in a pedestal, who embodied a total control in his limbs and motions the moment when he was possessed by the role he played. In both admiration to his craft and character, Damon’s words were like ancient knowledge to Affleck who looked up to someone whom he believed had a superior integrity in the art of acting than him.

BEN (V.O.) I would periodically go off and do a little Voyage of the Mimi. So Matt was a little threatened by that. And when I got to the high school, he kind of pulled me aside. He said, “Listen, man! All right? This is the theater. It’s not about your looks, okay? It’s about the work.” And I took that very seriously. I thought that I was hearing something real, like the words of wisdom from a guy who understood it.

Granted, it was not a bond fully realized, yet their childish vigor and innocent wonderment were already the first step of what was anticipated. However, what made their friendship soar in a vast degree was in the January of 1987 when the blade grasses crunched in every step as the soles of leather boots left myriads of trails on the coated pristine snow. A shift in dynamics which catapulted their connection into a newfound nature of commitment where it evolved from baseless competition towards the unequivocal dedication to be with each other in whatever shenanigans one might be.

CONAN (inquiring) I know that you’re from the Boston area as am I, and there’s this reputation that like, Boston guys know how to fight. […] Did you ever get in any fights as a kid? MATT (reminiscing) I’m like you, I really tried to avoid them because there are people in Boston who really do know how to fight and you know if you’re one of them or not. But the last fight I got into, who would’ve been in the mid-80s, and I remember we had a snow day at school so we would all meet in the Cambridge Common and play tackle football because there would be a foot of snow on the ground and so you can’t really get hurt. It was a really fun thing to do and I mouthed off a kid that I knew but he was like your height. He was six-foot six, right? And I might have been 5 (foot) 3 at the time. And I said some—I scorned on him or something, I don’t know—but he came for me and it was like a mountain of a guy came at me and I was like, ”Oh, man.” So before I knew it, I was on the ground. He was above me and I was like, “This is gonna be bad.” And it was right then that little five-foot two Ben Affleck tackled this dude off of me like out of nowhere. I was like a junior and he was like a freshman and he tackled this kid off of me, literally at the risk of his own life. Really quickly, everyone had [broken] it up because they wanted to get back to the football game. That was fun and this was ridiculous and that was the end of it. The kid was reasonable and he was, “God, I’m not fighting. Let’s play.” But I remember, that was like a big moment going like this guy, he will put himself in a really bad spot for me like, this is a good friend.

The proclaimed drama geeks dominated the corners of the school’s theatre department as they consistently turned themselves into a blank slate of a paper vessel where the letters to be imprinted on it gave birth to the soul of the character they portrayed. Once they return to existence after breathing differently through living many lives, they came back as different entities where all the emotions they played amounted to the hope of bringing it on a larger stage. Regardless of how they were perceived in the social circles within the school, they always remained to be thick as thieves for whatever context, which was enough for them.

BEN (V.O.) I’ve established that we were very nerdy and a little weird. We used to have "business lunches,” in what was called the Media Cafeteria, which at the time there was a big ESL portion of our public high school—it was like 2,600 kids—and that was where the ESL kids— I don’t know why that was where we— We liked to be surrounded by people who spoke other languages. I’m not sure what it was. Maybe we didn’t want them to actually hear our business lunch, because no business was conducted. But we plotted things. We planned our careers.

The Cambridge Rindge and Latin School produced and adapted various stories which the department invested their efforts in. Some of the plays the school had in the time period where the two were involved were Guys and Dolls in the Summer '85 where Damon, still a freshman, played one of the gamblers, and The Visit in Fall-Winter '86 where Affleck, now a freshman, played a character as Damon’s son. Additionally, Damon’s “confrontation” with Affleck on how “acting is not about the looks, but the work” happened in this time frame. Another plays they performed were Pippin in Summer '87 where Damon played the lead role and Affleck worked behind the scenes because his voice was not for the audience. And lastly, the Alice in Wonderland in Fall '89 where Affleck took the role of the Caterpillar.

MATT (taunting) Say, Ben, why don't you tell us about the time you played the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland? BEN (gearing up for a cutting contest) Yup, I was the zany, hookah-smoking caterpillar. I chose to play the role wrapped in garbage bags held together by Scotch tape. Now, if I were to play that caterpillar today, I might do it another way. CASEY (commenting) It was an underrated performance. Those trash bags were a bold choice. BEN (retaliating) So, Matt, why don't you favor us with your version of Morning Glory from Pippin?

After their eventful years inseparably playing various roles in high school, the two would bid each other farewell as Damon decided to continue his education in Harvard University. When Affleck completed his last two years, he attended the University of Vermont because of his attachment in his high school girlfriend who was not even studying in the same university he was in. Nevertheless, the two never broke contact and remained close as ever.

BEN (V.O.) Matt was definitely more… of a kind of achiever. It was inconceivable to him that you wouldn’t get an “A” or do really well. So I did really well [in] my first two years in high school and then when Matt left, I would cut class and… get in all kinds of trouble.”

In retrospect, their escapades as children of theatre might earn them some cringe looks. However, their joint experiences watered the seeds of their dreams they planted themselves, as well as their friendship that helped it to germinate much quickly by always having each other’s back. This was also the time where they made discoveries about themselves that sealed their brand as a person.

JIMMY (pulling out the picture) This is a photo, I think, you sent it to Matt just the other day just to go “Hey! Remember these dudes?” Here’s 17-year-old Matt and Ben in a photo booth. Look at this. BEN (laughing) Now, listen. Hard not to see that those guys are gonna make it. MATT (agreeing) Yeah, those guys clearly have “star” written all over them. JIMMY (amused) That’s awesome. MATT (pointing something out) You know, I think it was the matching puka necklaces that give it away. JIMMY (affirming) Best buddies. That’s BFFs right there. Come on. That’s BFFs for life.

CUT TO:

Title: The Crumbs on the Manuscript: Part 1

INT. UNITED STATES - DAY

It was a paradise for some, but a rabbit hole for those who only have their baggage, a couple of penny, and a dream. Done were the days where the two would cross the suburban homes in Somerville, roaming in the Assembly Square Mall where the big pictures were as avid moviegoers, and frolicking in the Harvard Square; it is the transitional period from their sentimental film reviewing antics to making appearances in wide screens, albeit a small one in their fresh start. This consisted of moving back and forth in different borders of United States for auditioning countless roles. Kevin Costner as Ray Kinsella in Field of Dreams (1989) recalled the remarkable enthusiasm of Damon and Affleck as two of the extras among the thousands in the movie. Even though they were one with the blurry heads and said that they only did it “to go to Fenway,” the sheer exhilaration of partaking in the film gave a lasting impression on what it was like to be in front of the camera.

KEVIN (remembering) They were sitting in the stands, like college guys, and they came up, and they both leaned in at the same time, leaned back at the same time, looked at each other at the same time as we talked. And they had this big enthusiasm. They were on fire. I do remember them, absolutely.

After three years of their first exposure from the said film, the two made their new appearances in School Ties (1992). This time, Damon played one of the antagonists against Brendan Fraser who played the lead role. On the flipside, Affleck played a smaller role as one of the bullies as well who performed violent acts to Fraser’s Jewish character.

BEN (remembering) I knew my nine lines back to front. I loved every day I was on a call sheet, every day I got to come to work. You were there, in Boston. It was one of the best experiences of my life. We literally were next to a dump and thought we were kings. I knew I was playing the one shitty antisemitic bully character, so I figured it was probably not going to be great for me career-wise, but I loved it.

Other films that contributed to their foundation in acting together were first, the college comedy Glory Daze (1995) where Affleck starred as the lead role named Jack, an art student who was driven by the post-college angst of the fleeting whiff of liberty before graduation, and Damon had a non-speaking role as one of Affleck’s former roommates. The other was Chasing Amy (1997), another lead role for Affleck who played Holden McNeil, the love-stricken comic book writer chasing his love of his life that turned out to be a lesbian. Damon had a cameo role and played as one of the executives who helped Affleck’s character pitch a business offer. The contrast in their perception of each other’s fame was intriguing to behold as Affleck jokingly claimed that he and Kevin Smith, a well-known director and believer of the two, were riding the coattails of Damon’s larger stardom, whereas Damon was more laid back about himself and only “tried” to get in Affleck’s films with Smith. Both also revealed to auditioned for Dead Poets Society (1989) but failed to secure a role and worked in a local movie theatre.

BEN (humorously) I slept on Kevin's couch, and it was like, “You got a buddy, this guy Matt, will he be in it?” And Matt was better known than I was. [Smith] was totally happy to exploit Matt’s stardom, for his own benefit, and so was I.

Most notably, the two disclosed the fact that they opened a joint bank account with “RiverP” as the code based from River Phoenix’s rising influence in the film industry. Both Damon and Affleck set forth a new adventure in the incongruous lands of New York where they were repeatedly hustling in the bustling audition sites for various television roles, some Burger King commercials, and local voiceovers that were not documented thoroughly for public viewing. Both their devotion for acting far transcended from only achieving success to also making sure that they were part of each other’s moments of triumph and lament.

MATT (V.O.) It was unusual, but we needed the money for auditions. BEN (V.O.) We were going to help each other and be there for each other. It was like, “You’re not going to be alone. I’m not going to be alone. Let’s go out there and do this together.”

Just like when they were two small naivetes discussing baseball mechanics on a bench of the local park, a candy bar from one will be shared willingly, cheerfully, obligingly with the other.

BEN (V.O.) If either of us needed money he could borrow it from the other. Neither one of us ended up taking. It was never one-sided. MATT (V.O.) If one kid had enough for a candy bar, then the candy bar was bought and split in half—that’s just the way it’s been.

That being said, the two will always be embedded in each other’s life whether they recklessly wallow in the pools of Napa Valley wineries or they open a hotdog stall at the Dodger Games while tracing the stars through their sparkling squinting eyes.

BEN (V.O.) Matt and I had identical interests, so whether we ended up successful or making hot dogs at Dodgers games, we knew we'd end up doing the same sort of thing. The remaining friends part was pretty consistent. We saw each other all the time, we talked on the phone all the time.

CUT TO:

Title: The Crumbs on the Manuscript: Part 2

INT. LOS ANGELES - DAY

While spending his time in the halls of Harvard, Damon conceived an original story that was a waiting ticket for a momentous future. He requested a favor for Affleck to act out the scenes of this story with him in front of the class. Consequently, this project gave him one of the reasons to drop out from college in 1997 in addition to them being unable to get the roles they wanted for themselves. They reckoned that if that was the case, then they could make their own film even if it would only be available in cheap cassette tapes.

BILL (V.O.) Were you guys always okay with you being the lead and him being the sidekick? MATT (V.O.) Yeah. I mean, I started it in college in a playwriting class, and so it was all established by the time—That as my final—My final paper was, I was supposed to write a one-act play. And instead I handed in the first act of a movie. And I said to the professor, "I think I failed your class. This is not what you asked for, but this is what came out and I really like it." He gave me an A in the class. Yeah, it was really cool, because I didn't get a lot of straight A's at Harvard. And he went, "No, wherever this goes—I don't know where it's going, but stay with it." And it was really great, because I didn't think of myself as a writer. I was an actor. And neither did Ben, for that matter.

After starring in various roles and earning their wages, the two promptly rented a house in the neighborhood of Venice Beach, Los Angeles where they reportedly wasted their money away for hedonistic pleasures and decided to get an apartment in Eagle Rock neighborhood. Damon and Affleck lived together as broke in-and-out of role actors after spending a whole lot of their earnings in drinks and taxes. Subsequently, this is where they ultimately decided to work on the script of Good Will Hunting (1997) seriously.

BEN (V.O.) I lived all over the place. I lived in Hollywood, then I moved. [Matt Damon] and I got money from School Ties, and we blew it all in a couple of months. We made $35,000 or $40,000 each and thought we were rich. And we were shocked later on to find out how much we owed in taxes.

Good Will Hunting (1997) turned out to be an opportunity for them to combine their creative outputs and transform it into having a life on its own. They wrote the script largely influenced by their own personal upbringings in Boston through their spontaneous and completely erratic improvised sessions of jotting down details. Writing, even admittedly not their forte, was an intuitive process for them, and just how they meticulously carve the path of Will Hunting’s fate, they were also unknowingly writing a new chapter to their wondrous epic of Hollywood breakthrough.

MATT (V.O.) And so that was in late January, and then in March I came out here [to L.A.] for Spring Break to audition for stuff, and stayed on Ben's couch and showed it to him. I was like, "Hey, I wrote this thing, I don't know what the fuck to do with it." And Ben read it and goes, "I don't know what to do with it either, but we should do it together." And I was like, "Sold! I'm in!" And so that was really the—I trusted no one in my life more than him. And we were just, you know—He was as close a friend as I’d ever had in my life or ever could imagine having. And I respected him, and I respected his taste. I mean, we—Our taste kind of formed together, you know what I mean? Those teenage years where you’re spreading your wings and gaining your own independence: we did that together. And so I know he would read a situation the same way I would. You know what I mean? We were just very compatible, in that way.

The film starred Damon as Will Hunting, the titular protagonist who was a troubled genius working as a janitor in the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) alongside Affleck as Chuckie Sullivan, one of Hunting’s closest confidants, and Robin Williams as the therapist Sean Maguire. Damon and Affleck sold the screenplay to Castle Rock Entertainment in 1994 for $675,000 where its president, Rob Reiner, told them to drop the thriller aspect and instead focus on the emotional ties of Hunting and Maguire. However, due to a conflict, Miramax Films bought the screenplay’s rights and put it into production with Gus Van Sant as the director. True to their nature, their earnings from the film were gone in few moments after it became a hit classic and a commercial success.

BEN (talking in front of the curtain) We sold it for $600,000, we split that, $300,000 each, and then the agents got $30,000. So we had $270,000, and we paid about $160,000 in taxes, so we had $110,000, each bought $55,000 Jeep Cherokees, and then had $55,000 left, which naturally we decided to rent a $5,000-a-month party house on Glencoe Way by the Hollywood Bowl, and we were broke in six months.

In their many attempts to rewrite every course of action and applicable dialogues, the crumbs on the shared candy bar remained sitting idly on the many drafts of manuscript, and still was the arrival of the sprinkling mess that was a testament of their love and camaraderie.

CUT TO:

Title: The Fortune Favors the Fools

INT. SHRINE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The pillars of Hollywood are where the gods and monsters of the industry were ensconced. Here they carve their legacy in all its pulchritudinous grandeur where they race their cars in Sunset Boulevard and Vine Street. Settled in the Shrine Auditorium, Los Angeles, the commencement of the 70th Academy Awards in 1998 propelled the trajectory of their future in an unimaginable heights. It was a turbulent period in the picture palaces where contenders such as James Cameron stirred the tides of cathartic grief with his poignant depiction of tragedy in Titanic (1997) and Kim Basinger’s seductive charisma in L.A. Confidential (1997) worked like a charm to the mass. Damon and Affleck paved their way into the culmination of the grand clockwork inside the movie industry along with the elite A-listers who took their seats on the fine cushion chairs. Billy Crystal, with all of his entertaining antics, sang an ode to the honorable artists.

MATT (V.O.) To go from that experience where, you know, we filled out the (Oscar ballot) sheets and we were betting on who was gonna win, to being in the front row of the Oscars together with our moms—in one year—it felt like warp speed. And to have Billy Crystal singing a song about us.

Damon and Affleck, in their plain tuxedos and bow ties, managed to claim their unexpected Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay in Good Will Hunting (1997). The crowd was masked with massive shouts of uproar and sheer delight the moment when Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau presented the award, which can be liken into them, a comedic duo, passing the torch of friendship to the young novices. The two of them were remembered as sweethearts for bringing their mothers as their dates to the said event. Such gesture, even if it was seen as juvenile to some, garnered them an appreciation from the public for looking back at the pioneers among their fans and also their first pillars of hope when they partook in the tumultuous road of acting.

BEN (V.O.) We were sitting next to our moms and we won, and we kind of hugged our moms. And I remember, how everyone had made such a big thing out of it. As if this was such a novelty. And I remember thinking, being insecure, like, “Why? Why is it weird that we’re bringing our moms?” Like, “Who else do you think we would bring?” You know what I mean? There was nobody else that was going to go. That was it. Of course our moms were gonna go. That was, really was innocent and not faked.

Their signature impromptu speech was a blabbering mess and their words were caught up in a maze, yet the innocence emanating from their still neophyte minds inside the logistics of Hollywood was a testament to their authenticity as starting actors in the realer side of the business. Up until the present times, Affleck boasts his pride as he still remains to be the youngest winner to bag this prestigious award.

MATT (V.O.) Ben and I talked about it recently. We were younger than we felt. I was 22 and Ben was 20 when we first started writing it. And then it came out when I was 27 and Ben was 25. I mean, Ben’s still the youngest writer to ever win an Oscar for screenwriting. I’d be the youngest if it weren’t for Ben. Fucking asshole.

In another but shared spotlight, Robin Williams also snatched the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor from the same film. His performance cemented his legacy as one of the most beloved actor-comedians who ever graced the common folk with his winning smile and witty sense of humor. Williams’ roles as Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting (1997) and John Keating in Dead Poets Society (1989) resonated to the young souls through his earnest warmth of devotion in the form of paternal love. The integrity of his characters, which was molded from his own, poked the bubble of pressure that led to vulnerability.

ROBIN (V.O.) There's an emotional core to Good Will Hunting that came from Ben and Matt. They have this unspoken twins thing. They care for each other, yet they bust on each other. And that was a great bass line to work with. I'm very proud of this movie. It has a resonance.

The accolades for Good Will Hunting did not stop in its tracks as it emerged victorious in other award-giving bodies. Damon and Affleck also won the Golden Globes Award for Best Screenplay - Motion Picture and the Critics’ Choice Movie Award for Best Original Screenplay. The disbelief hung in the air but the emblems of their cherished faith in their line of work brought a newfound admiration in each other’s professional work.

MATT (V.O.) It’s been really helpful to check in with Ben throughout this whole surreal process over the last 25 years. I think the shock of becoming famous is so… I mean, that messed me up for a couple years because the whole world just starts to treat you differently. And so your subjective experience changes. It’s like somebody rewrites your code in the Matrix, but just your code. It’s like, “Oh, my whole experience has been altered in this really overwhelming way.” And so to have somebody who I’ve known my whole life, who I can be like, “Hey man, is this happening to you? Are you…” And to check in with him, it was really, really helpful. Stabilizing.

All of a sudden, they climbed up the ladder of prestige and in the throes of loneliness at the top, they basked in the presence of one another.

CUT TO:

Title: The Best They Ever Were

EXT. THE STREETS - DAY

As they walk in the arduous path they earnestly tread on, Damon and Affleck solidified their careers as one of the most prolific actors and filmmaker collaborators. Their fates were sealed in a fervid turmoil after that eventful night while carrying their early designed bulky cell phones in one hand and the golden trophy statuette in another. Time went on and success found its way running towards them in multitudes. Damon then had won the Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG) for Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture in the movie The Departed (2007) with the cast, as well as two Critics' Choice Movie Awards for Best Actor in The Talented Mr. Ripley (2000) and Best Actor in an Action Movie in The Martian (2016). On the other hand, Affleck won the Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG) for Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture in the movie Shakespeare in Love (1998) shared with the cast, another Academy Award for Best Picture as a producer in Argo (2013), and Santa Barbara International Film Festival’s (SBIFF) Modern Master Award for Argo (2013). Furthermore, the two also accepted the award for Guys of the Decade at the 10th Annual Guys Choice Awards in 2016.

The nature of their relationship has always been a sweet spot for breeding malice and amusement of many, yet both are secured enough to define what they are for each other amidst the public’s scrutiny.

WOMAN IN BLACK (gesturing with her hands) I didn’t know what your relationship is with Ben. Seeing you or to get, you know, known him your whole life— MATT (standing on the stairs) He’s my hetero-lifemate.

It goes to show how the concept of platonic bond is subjected to different interpolation because of how malleable and loosely defined its boundaries are. Moreover, histrionic commentaries over cultural norms and prejudices thrive in competitive capitalism where journalists are put in a game of catch to get a scoop on celebrity scandals with twisted headlines.

ELLEN (sitting cross-legged) So we're going to talk about it. I just heard it this morning, if you want to address it somehow. It's like when we do interviews, you say something and then people write it and it depends on—it’s out of context and it gets twisted around and something you said is getting twisted around and I want you to address it. MATT (sitting on the opposite couch) Yeah, it was just an interview with The Guardian that I just literally found out. I was talking about [how] actors are more effective when you know less about their personal lives and was talking about it in the context of when Ben and I first started, and people wrote all these articles when Good Will Hunting came out that we were gay because it was two guys who wrote the script, and feeling like “Oh, we can't even—.”Then you have to address it and then you would and then it's like, I’m not going to throw my friends under the bus who are gay and act like it's some kind of disease, you know. How do you even address it? […] I said this thing in The Guardian and it got turned into—I was just trying to say [that] actors are more effective when they're a mystery, right? And somebody picked it up and said gay actors should get back in the closet, which is, like, it's stupid. It's painful when things get said that you don't believe.

The mere fact that both Damon and Affleck remained to withstand the tribulations of exploitative industry, where privacy is compromised, speak volume to their commitment and loyalty towards each other. Writing their bond as a simple romance where they fit the conventional bill of being one is reductive in its essence because it takes away all nuances and intricacies of an outstanding platonic bond. Their relationship is supposed to remodel the foundation of a healthy friendship as it is a connection that is not codified through marriage contract or sexual attraction, but a shared mutual interest in something where both can celebrate and be dismal together. However, the public is not in the same page in terms of appreciating this kinship that rivals the so-called be-all and end-all type of love that is romance.

Decades passed through thousands of sunsets and millions of seconds, and their bodies had changed to match their shifting attitudes. However, their reverence and love for acting continue to stand unwavering in the midst of tempestuous conjectures and flashes like lightning strikes in their very faces. Currently, Damon lives in Brooklyn Heights, New York in a penthouse with the top two floors of a building spanning over the stunning views of the Manhattan skyline where he lives with Luciana Barroso and their daughters. Affleck, on the other hand, lives in a mansion in the Beverly Crest area of Los Angeles with Jennifer Lopez that stretches over 38,000 square feet, including a 12-bedroom main house and other amenities. The endless fields and valleys in between their locations were irrelevant against their will to collaborate again and screen write The Last Duel (2021) and co-found a studio together, the Artist Equity, to produce Air (2023).

BEN (sitting cross legged) I find the most wonderful thing about it was I loved coming to work everyday. I loved seeing Matt. I love—first of all, he's a genius. Having him as your anchor of your movie just makes it— MATT (gesturing Ben) See, 40-something-years it took you to— BEN (cont’d) No, I didn't use to think this. But that just makes it so easy, and it was just so much fun. It kinda felt like just us and getting to do the thing that we wanted to do. I did. I loved it. I miss it everyday since. It was the best work experience of my life. In fact, that's the beautiful thing about this. It's that happiness was being able to be here everyday in Los Angeles, where my children are and see them everyday and have them come visit the set, work with my best friend my whole life. There's nothing more that I want in my life. I thought, well, this is it. This is what I've always wanted, you know. And then I thought that might mean I'm about to die. MATT (laughing) I literally had the same thought. I was like this is it. We've actually reached the mountaintop.

Though their milestone launched them into separate houses of big screens and magazine covers, all America’s crossroads and thoroughfares and boulevards and avenues attempt to intersect at one point despite their convoluted systems to lead their lavish vehicles together in taking the high road.

BEN (V.O.) Yeah. It is bizarre to have gone this far. And definitely a lot of—I don’t think I would be sane—or as sane to the extent that I am—had I not had somebody who was from where I grew up, and who was my best friend, and who was going through the same thing. So you could— Because I’m sure you guys all know: there are these moments in this business where you look around and go like, “Is this completely insane? I feel as though I’m coming unglued.” And having that, someone share that perspective—and then so, as we went on and on, so finally got to a place where—like with The Last Duel—it was like, “Why haven’t we just—? We had so much fun! Every day on that set was so much fun! Let’s just do this: let’s just do movies together and with people we like.”

No matter how high the altitude of their dreams had come to, the streets of Boston will always have a perpetual flame into the hearts of two actors fueled by their shared ambition. Their eyebrows are the Storrow Drive with the way they are on fleek, their lips are the undulating waves in Plymouth's Fresh Pond when they curve upwards, and their torso is the Fenway Park where the Boston Red Sox is. When they gaze into each other’s faces, the two natives would recall all their hilarious mischiefs and lasting jubilations as if they are themselves the incarnation of the place they will always call home.

GRAHAM (pointing Matt) And what was the phrase? There was a phrase that you heard. Was it in a movie you heard a phrase? “There goes...” MATT (realizing) Oh, yeah. Yeah, I said it to my mother. This is funny. I said—in the movie, The Natural, Robert Redford, and it's based on something the baseball player Ted Williams once said. But so his character, Roy Hobbs, in The Natural says, “All I want is to walk down the street, you know, and when I walk down the street for people to say 'There goes Roy Hobbs, the best he ever was,'” And my mother—and I love that movie—and I love Robert Redford, asked me one day, “What is it that you want, Matthew?“ and I said, “Look, all I want is to walk down the street someday and have people say, 'There goes Matt Damon, the best he ever was.'”

The streets will be just like the way they rode their Jeep Cherokee Sport once. Only this time, the babes with their mothers and the strangers in all varying places will notice what the glint in their eyes is. And here, in the venerated bastion of media, there goes the finest of them all, the best they ever were.

FADE OUT.

THE END

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

Can I be greedy and ask for 🥺 first time headcanon and 💦 cum headcanon for jane murdstone please and thank you

Have a beautiful day

you can always be greedy in my askbox this is a safe space :D hahahah ALSO I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE you probably just wanted a smutty hedacanon and i sorta went on a tangent about women's life and education in victorian england uhhhhhhh

🥺 first time headcanon

okay so. i have two headcanons for this and i could see both happening lol. one is wholesome and the other one is fuuuucked up hahahah

so how jane's life would go would also depend on her social status, bc in my fic i like. made murdstones a bit wealthier than in the movie (can afford multiple maids etc) and also idk what the fuck jane does like canonically, bc like she's just like a spinster that hangs out with her brother and it's like hard for me to deduce their social status from what i saw in the movie that i like. skimmed through lol. i have not read the book bc i am Not that dedicated haha, i think dickens has other books that are probably a better use of your time. but anygay idk if she'd like be homeschooled in some capacity -- it was common for wealthier households to have a governess for young girls, but like once girl reached marrying age (which was like 15, 16 already) their education stopped unless their parents were like. Against that which they usually were not. then, if unmarried (and jane is Not married), they'd usually go to become governesses or like caretakers for someone in their family (elderly parents, siblings etc). and that was. pretty much all you could do. so idk what the fuck jane does or how her life played out bc she just sort of Hangs with her brother. i guess she was invited by him to like Help with the household but what did she do prior to that she's like 40 lol. so i guess that would also indicate that her brother can't afford another maid idk. but in my fic i wanted her to have a lady's maid (for purely self indulgent reasons) which like makes for a whole different dynamic and like social status and uhhhh god i am getting too tangled into this. but yeah, as a woman she would not be allowed to meddle into factory business (even tho knowing her she *would* try) so idk what the fuck is her deal. so basically i am saying all of this bc it's hard for me to deduce how her life might have played out and what realistic scenarios would even be for her, like taking actual historical accuracy into account

with THAT huge disclaimer out of the way, let us venture into my garbage headcanons

lemme write the wholesome one first lol. i think jane would be the type to have like an Intense Homoerotic Friendship in her youth, maybe like a childhood friend she was close with, or like if she went to some sort of an all girl's school one day things would just sort of happen -- like they are hanging out alone somewhere or like one of them is sleeping at another's house and things.... just sort of progress haha. i think jane would just sorta go with it because it wouldn't feel weird to her. i feel like it'd definitely be clumsy and just like, finding out what feels good, but they'd be so into it the awkwardness would not stop them haha. it would probably be like gentle and tender and i have a headcanon that jane would be like So Proud of herself once she made her friend feel good and found like the Right Spots ahhaha and i think she would enjoy that immensely. i imagine their relationship would end once someone else caught on and found it Suspicious, so they would be separated OR her friend would get married which results in jane's villain arc ahahhaha

so the fucked up headcanon would be like. i could definitely see jane being Enamoured with some sort of older female mentor figure who'd probably be super fucked up but jane would be like I Want To Be Like You and this lady would probably be into idea of sleeping with jane and would like take advantage of her. jane'd just be like. Confused by that experience but also not really mad about it bc she would enjoy it, it's just that there would be a huge power imbalance and jane would definitely be pretty clueless about what is happening. she'd have an intense obsession with that woman and not really know why, like the dots would not connect, and this woman would probably be a closeted lesbian in a loveless marriage who liked finding girls she could fuck on the side lol. she'd for sure be kinda mean and as a sort of mentor to jane she'd probs put a lot of fucked up ideas in her head lol. as for the actual first time i think the older woman would definitely lead the game haha and sort of teach jane what to do and jane would probably love every second and it would be a very intense emotional (but also physical) experience for her and she'd probably have some sort of emotional crash once the whole thing is done. it would be a very formative experience and she'd be a Bit traumatised by it lol. i think it would def be a very fucked up relationship and this lady would probably discard jane once she got bored of her

💦 cum headcanon (so like orgasm headcanon i guess)

idk in which direction to go with this, but i think jane would be like a one and done type of person when it comes to herself. i think she looooves pleasuring a woman ahhaha and would enjoy doing that for a long time, but like she wants to come last. and once she's done she's done hahah

[souldivide]

vent long personal heavy ok

it’s really helpless and crushing how im always cornered back to the same sad answer of how i should have considered the future earlier. my legs are in so much pain, im crying from how much my body aches and im simply told, you shouldn’t have been in your room all day — despite the fact i wasn’t allowed to go outside, and there was seldom walking space in our awful house. i was always sick, and always dizzy. it is crazy how dangerous black mold can be and yet we had a complete infestation of that and more. i want to consider pursuing a career ive had since i was a child though, im so passionate about art and i still am which might be a blessing considering how much commissions are hurting me mentally and perhaps physically .. opening several, several batches a year, constantly cramming them.. i think i want to do college. but i didn’t take on the scholarship i had when i graduated! i didn’t take the aid that covered my first year.. truthfully i didn’t think id make it so far. im insecure, im suicidal, im fragile. the past decade, i could barely get through anything without crying. it was humiliating to exist as i was in middle and highschool due to the living situation i was in, with no money and feeling i had no true support or even solidarity with my own mother, who must have been under much more stress than i was, trying to provide for her child. but still didn’t sympathize with me at all. the situation was hard, but i should have worked harder .. honestly, i do feel selfish for not having taken advantage of my moms effort to keep me in school, but ahhhhhh, i think it was just too much. i didn’t want to live like this. i was ashamed and disgusted, i still feel discomfort associating myself with that life. i cling to childhood and youth and traditions i missed out on because i lacked so much of that routine as a kid. is it so wrong to cry and want to die that you never got to experience a proper, loving christmas like everyone in your schools did ? no toys, no cable, only a tiiiny tiny laptop (like a 2008 chromebook-like thing) to keep me busy.. i wasn’t allowed to go outside of my own house to play with the dog, nor was I allowed to have anyone come over. wasn’t allowed to visit other people’s houses… not like i remember of that much anyways, as i barely remember anything from childhood except mortifying things.. i recently saw a way to connect to my mother by opening up. i confessed to her a lot of things as i was a mute child and never shared anything, never felt comfortable to — about how it affected me, about how i feel like im in stasis. i told her about what happened between me and my father, what happened between me and my brother, and i felt empty when she looked away from me and didn’t answer. No closure or comfort, and simply said that i should have taken advantage of my opportunities when I had them. And i have sabotaged myself. nothing else can explain for my disability, my mental health, and my plummeting education.

It took me 6 years to get an ID. 5 years to get a bank account. I don’t know how to learn how to drive and I am scared but I have to. i cannot go anywhere without someone’s help, primarily hers.

it feels too unfair, and i am still grieving for every year that passes by, even the previous year, that i am still locked in a house. i have never experienced much that i can call positive memories until i went to be with my best friend and my boyfriend. but that just made the memories painful too; when I think about how I have to end the trip. Board the plane or get in the car, and cry about how I have to go back home and be with my mother. it is not normal, to dread going back there so intensely. i wish i had a different life very badly, honestly, but a comfort i have now is that i think i am now strong emotionally and legally that i can make my own plans, manage my own bank, decide who i can visit without the permission of my mother. but. that is not because of my strength, and it is actually because she is sick. and she now has cancer as of september. I feel like i have been held in my mothers arms forced still for an entire two decades and the only reason she’s let go is because she is, her health is not well. And she has prepared me this week, a conversation of where to find her records, her files, her will, her passwords. Everything, if she passes away soon. i want to sleep forever, because i don’t want to wake up to a day wondering if it will happen soon. I don’t want to be in this position. I am scared. I wish I was with people I loved who loved me. i am shaking and sad. I wish I was too drained to cry anymore because I do it too much, for years. I wish I wasn’t such a sad person. I wish I wasn’t so miserable, I wish I had more happier things to think about when people ask me how I am. I feel miserably

I was gifted breath of the wild a couple years ago, now i am finally playing it. it helps i think. i really enjoy it most for the animal interaction and cooking and exploration.

[lesser-mook]

My Hero Academia: Rising Heroes (film recommendation) *some spoilers

march 2023

Very plot armor heavy regarding Nine’s refusal to take advantage of his power level, usual MHA cliche’s, however:

Katsuma’s arc was wholesome, him learning to speak his mind and come into his own (building his own confidence) was a well executed little plot thread.

Bakugou’s very clear development post Season 3 displayed here (ie.he’s better written here)

Deku inspiring the youth to follow their goals as All Might did for him- a nice display of the future greatest hero uplifting the next generation.

The setting and the Class reaching out to the community on a remote little island was a nice change of pace.

For hero work, or the essence of a hero is technically the community service.

The music is decent,  as usual (especially the titular song of this movie, holy shit). 

Too many characters ie. Class 1A clusterfuck as usual but they’re not in the way too much, everyone’s got something to do, but they’re not always in your face here. Standard Class 1A, just dialed down compared to the show.

It’s mainly Deku, Nine, Bakugou, and the little ones.

Better focus here vs the show.

The villain is weak as hell (not in power, but in execution) for the same reasons why CHP355 doesn’t work, yet another baddie *Clearly made TOO POWERFUL but doesn’t immediately wipe the floor with the weaker opponents or at least catch some bodies*

You’d think for someone with their life on a timer they wouldn’t be moving slower than a T-800, drove me nuts how he didn’t just wreck a lot of people. ESPECIALLY with his particular gifts.

Villains explaining their weaknesses, for some reason. (Standard Anime trope btw, it’s not a MHA thing)

And ONE FOR ALL was basically turned into a magic plot device in this movie. No longer just a Quirk compiler, it is basically just magic.

A consequence i didn’t expect to happen was teased to be permanent which would’ve course corrected Deku’s character in a way (which we know is bullshit given S4 and onward, he still has OFA)

But ofc a very convenient (Uno reverse card springs up outta nowhere resetting status quo) thus Deku’s plot armor is still unrivaled.

One For All made a decision to reinstate itself because Deku was willing to sacrifice it for the right reasons. Good idea in concept but that's bullshit, OFA is basically magic.

The way Aang suddenly got the Avatar State back in the series finale was equally bullshit convenience/contrivance but at least he DID NOT have access to it the entire season as consequence of getting hit by Azula.

Most consequences do NOT matter in My Hero, if Deku had to go through S4 WITHOUT OFA and he got it back in S5, that shit would’ve been interesting.

But i digress.

The later half of the final fight is some of the best “second wind” deus ex machina’s i’ve ever seen, the choreography felt so hyper-emphasized, like you felt the power those two wielded.

One For All, is a serious super power, one of the best in fiction. Period, though it’s just a poor man’s hybrid of the Avatar state and power of Shazam.

And the music playing over the action is 11/10 and i’ve NEVER praised the show like this before but holy shit- 

That’s just good directing. (*chefs kiss) When it does something right, it does something right.

I naturally took notes heavily criticizing the minute details, some nitpicks, others just overall gripes with MHA’s very braindead way of getting the message across. But overall this wasn’t a bad little movie.

Edit MAY 2024: This is essentially where it could’ve ended, this movie is basically a prototype for Final Arc.

Much better pacing & a better plot than the first movie. 

[doctorprofessorsong]

Here's the thing. A lot of queer people have experience the same minority stresses that come with "passing privilege" and it's called being in the closet. And while that is not always distressing for everyone, I struggle to believe that any of you don't know at least some people who have dealt with the extremely negative effects that can accompany it.

I like to say "presumed" because I think it's important that people understand that people who "pass" are inherently being presumed to be a member of a group in which they do not belong. Why does this matter? It means they are more likely to experience microagressions. It means they are more likely to recieve backlash if they disclose their identity. More importantly, it means they are less likely to recieve support from their own community.

I understand what people may be trying to say is you have certain advantages when you are presumed cis or het. But that is not the end of the discussion, because it's important to understand that is accompanied with the cost of certain minority stresses that are extremely detrimental to mental health, safety and well-being. Put another way, advantages may be afforded to someone who passes, but because they are not part of the group afforded the privilege, there is an inherent and painful conflict that can lead to a substantial amount of harm. Meanwhile, the same person may seek support from the community they actually belong to and be rejected.

This is an extremely studied thing, y'all, at least when it comes to bisexuals. It doesn’t take much to step beyond your own worldview. I understand someone who is visibly queer in a way that is readily apparent may experience *different* detrimental effects. But the same can be said by different expressions of queerness and the way they may be valued or not by society. It's fine to focus on a particular negative effect or stereotype that affects a specific group under the umbrella, but that should never be turned into some test of queerness or virtue. It's not a contest of who is the most queer or who suffers the most. Excommunicate the catholic in your head there.

Ultimately, when you see someone getting those privileges it's tempting to say "my life would be easier if I was treated as a member of the majority," but in actuality the ease becomes from actually belonging to that group. Someone who is "passing" is inherently NOT accepted as they are, or they wouldn't need to pass.

Let's take a closer look below the cut.

Bisexuals

Starting with my beautiful bisexuals (meant here as the umbrella term) who are often told to pick a side and who are presumed to have a sexual orientation associated with the apparent gender of their partner. Let's see how this plays out for them.

According to one study, bisexuals are less likely to feel as if they are accepted in the community and staggeringly more likely to be in the closet

Here, bisexual women and men are more likely than lesbian or heterosexual women to experience a range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression, and panic disorders.

Bisexual youth are more likely to experience suicidal ideation than their straight or gay or lesbian counterparts

Trans and nb

This study actually has a fantastic round up of health disparities. It also identifies double discrimination, invalidation and sexual assault and victimization as factors that affect the bisexual community. Honestly read this and come back to me

I don't have as much research here and don't think we have it (also tumblr wont let me link things suddenly). But I would honestly be shocked to hear that, particularly for those in the closet or for non binary folks presumed to be their AGAB you don't have similar findings. Also, there are plenty of people who have shared their lived experiences of dealing with backlash and other issues associated with the concept of passing. See above re the benefits. You only get them if you pass and violence or anger are real possibilities for people who are outed.

And you don't have to look far to find rejection from the community including people saying you don't belong at pride unless you come out.

What's important to remember is that even those who have transitioned and pass don't get to skip on down the road. We know for a fact Healthcare can be a particularly difficult issue for the trans community. And that certainly affects folks who pass.

Passing can feel like a negative and a positive for non-cisgender folks. Many people seek the experience of passing as gender affirmation, while others may resent the pressure to conform to a binary and/or feel invisible or erased.

And most importantly, even folks who pass are only afforded privileges if they are presumed to be a member of the favored group.

TBH, given the absolutely horrible discourse right now, if you don't think every trans and nb person deserves support, I don't know what to say to you.

Honestly if there's ONE thing I wish I could get all queer people to understand is that if you're in a situation where you know everyone would treat you differently, especially to the point of it putting your life in danger, if they found out you're queer, you aren't experiencing privilege, you're in a hostage situation.

Like sorry experiencing "passing privilege" is actually just being trapped in a room with a bloodthirsty t-rex and having people tell you that you should be thankful because thier vision is based on movement and you can just stand still. It's not a privilege to be erased, to have to lie to everyone around you to stay safe-ish, to have to closet yourself because you know even a single step out of line could be the end of your entire world.

None of us should have to be thankful to stand in front of a loaded gun while the person holding it goes "haha, don't worry, I only use this on faggots, and you're not a fag....right?" Like this is not a net good and it has almost nothing in common with actually being part of a privileged group.

Anyway, Happy Pride, let's leave this shit behind.

[mosmorem]

The Public Spectacles (part 1)

''What could I do, I had to take you, you looked so bored..."

He knew. He totally knew. Frayse was going to kill his boss—which was ironic since his boss employed him specifically for that task. Killing people. Well he wasn’t going to kill anyone tonight, that was for sure.

Boots hitting the wooden flooring of the ballroom in rhythm with the music, the youth tried to focus on dancing correctly, and not on the fact that the hands holding him had killed way, way more men than him.

The fiddles did a thing, and he was forced to dip low, spine arching, a strong hand down his back the only think keeping him standing.

And the worst thing; even upside down, he could see that all eyes were on them.

He was going to kill his boss.

Fuck, what was he even doing here?

"Don't be scared, please... We're just dancing! Why so tense?"

The fiddles calmed down and he was brought back up, too quickly to do anything else than basically crash into a firm chest, richly dressed and covered in medals.

One for each grand victory.

Stabilized, he lifted his eyes, and met one, green. General Wymond, as it stood, only had one eye, having lost the other in a fight with...

Well he honestly couldn't remember. Some warrior from another country surely. Frayse wasn't particularly worried about keeping up with was stories.

He knew, however, that Wymond was considered the most successful—and bloodthirsty—soldier on the continent. This was one of the numerous parties he regularly threw in his manor in the capital since his return from the war, a year ago.

Frayse had been tasked with killing him. And it was not going well.

He had dressed finely; his cover tonight was the simple and effective one, an invitation from a friend in high society. He never planned on killing anyone tonight; first, ha had to play bored and observe.

And he did. For a while. Until The General walked to him, took his hand with a flourish (totally taking advantage of the youth being too surprised to refuse) and led him to the dance-floor. The surprise made him late to react, but he had no choice but to follow. Everyone was looking at the general all the time, especially at his own party.

So he had let himself be led amongst the crowd of costumes and dresses, a hand in his, the other on his shoulder, one large hand at his waist. They didn't talk right away; Frayse had felt observed, appraised, assessed. It was not a good feeling. Then, on a spin the dance led them into, when his back was leaned against Wymond's chest, he had felt a breath at his ear:

'I know what you are here for

The plan had been simple actually. Come here, because his boss insisted he at least try; leave, tell his boss it was too hard a target (which was true), and go back to his life, Wymond none the wiser.

Big mistake. A soldier like this always knew how to spot another killer.

"Are we just going to dance in silence until the end of the night, or will you tell me your name?"

He glared. "So you can find me after? Yeah, no thanks".

Wymond smiled, with an inch of cruelty, and the hand at his waist gripped him tight enough he had to hide a wince.

"I don't need a name to find someone, but if it reassures you, you can give me a false one."

That was not reassuring at all! He was so going to die.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything to you."

Nevermind then.

"Are you here to try and kill me? Come on, I don't bite. Give me something."

This was the worst.

"I don't plan on killing you, no."

He spun in place, following the music and the general's hand's guidance, if it could be called that. He took the opportunity to quickly look at the crowd around them. Everyone was giving them a wide berth, how nice. It made a decent distraction from the way that, as he spun, the hand at his waist stroked him all around, following the movement.

"I don't plan on dancing much longer either," he continued when they resumed waltzing, bodies way to close for his liking. The general's hand lingered, and it gave him shivers; not the good kind.

"Really? How sad... but I don't think you will have a choice. My apologies."

"What?"

He only had time to inhale sharply, ready for counterattack, when he was wrenched to the side.

A small noise of air friction brushed against his ear, and his eyes widened. In an instant, he was behind the general, hand above the place under his vest where one of his dagger was hidden, eyes looking among the balconies surrounding the ballroom from above. A commotion was starting, but all he could hear was his blood pumping in his ears.

Wymond chuckled. Startled, Frayse turned towards him, ready to plead his own cause: that couldn't have been him. He wasn't even supposed to dance with him.

But the general was already looking at him, eyes narrowed in obvious pleasure and satisfaction. Not a common reaction seconds after an assassination attempt in his own house, against himself.

This did not bode well. He leaned in, and Fraysed tensed—even more.

"Play along" he purred, "or I frame you."

Well, at least he knew he was innocent.

"What's your name? The real one."

"Fuck you, it's Frayse..."

[kichimiangra]

Okay, I have to know.

How do you imagine everyone's play styles?

Specter is a precision player who memorized every cheat and glitch and will use them AFTER he takes advantage of his dedicated 100%+ game completion and optimization he's already invested in the game. That makes total sense to me.

Pipotchi will obviously pay-to-win any game that sufficiently amuses him and his only disadvantage is being busy and not having the time to dedicate to gaming as anything other than one of several hobbies. While he isn't a super genius like Specter, he is still very intelligent and can win against other casual players because he usually has his own unfair advantages and can usually guess someone's strategy.

Both Specter and Pipotchi will spend days carefully personalizing their character model to perfection and their competitions are as much to show off as they are to win.

What about the others?

Specter has the surprising hobby of enjoying video games, though gets far more stimulation from breaking them. He's shown in Piposaru2001 that he, while in the virtual world was able to glitch his way into the removed "PicoPico Land" and take over the place, leave the professor completely dejected that the level he made that he deemed too insanely hard to the point he had to remove it was conquered so easily by Specter. This means either Specter is amazi g at video games and glitching, or the Prof is just not as good as he thought he was. Because for Nannersverse "Mesal Gear Solid" is a game the Prof made for the Monkey Park inspired by the concept of Piposnake from his Project Specter days, and most of the gadgets are toys, I like to think the Prof is pretty hip with the youth and what's fun so I like the idea that he was straight forward about PicoPico land being extremely difficult, thus meaning Specter is just good at games when they catch his attention.

Pipotchi on the otherhand, despite having more of a "normal kid upbringing" compared to Specter, Pipotchi doesn't like videogames aside from a few genres, and hates anything with rng. If he plays an rpg Jimmy is probably playing his game when he's not home to grind Pipotchi's levels and gold up so Pipotchi can just cruise and enjoy the story without getting frustrated and quitting. If Pipotchi fights a boss and it doesn't drop the sword cuz it has a 5% drop rate he gets frustrated at the Meer idea that he'd have to fight the boss any number of times to get the sword he'd sooner just not play. He thinks most videogames are below him and is really only interested in the story.

I imagined the only reason the two were playing a game together was probably instigated by Jimmy to try and get them to get along because Specter is "Kind of Family(?)" Both for dating Spike making him like their cousin in-law, but also to Jimmy at least the Project Specter survivors are sort of like brothers and should have SOME sort of positive relationship right? Though the Survivors disagree.

PipoSnake is just here to make two apes gaming life a living hell on principal. He doesn't cheat, glitch, or cash shop to do it, he just tastes hit boxes and ends lives and camps the bodies and rekills them everytime they respawn just to make a point.

Of the Ukki 5 only Yellow plays video games, the other four prefer to do "real" things. Blue could maybe be convinced to try some but his attention span would have him going "this makes me want to go do this stuff for real, later!"