#how do you guys even tag your shit
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LEWIS NIXON III: 360
#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST GUY EVER#me and yna/evidenceof did not coordinate these fancams whatsoever nix is just brat like that#lewis nixon#band of brothers#my edit#bobedit#hbowaredit#how do you guys even tag your shit
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Look what we've become.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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Hey yall I dont wanna damper anyones day but @bellaaldamas brought to my attention that trolls potentially messed with Angrb*daās searches on google to flood it with only mentioning the wh*tew*shing m0d that got deleted back when the PC version came out. This might very well be the case since prior to that, it wasnt ONLY mentioning the mods or mentioning something like that AT ALL. Not to mention the wh*tew*shing m0d picture is one of the main images you see if you search her up. What the actual fuck. Its bad enough theres troll activity or just negativity when you search her up regardless but this is next level deranged. What really confuses me so much is that most people literally dont know, care or even like this mod as much as these trolls are pushing so what exactly is the goal and did they think nobody was gonna notice either?
Maria found more info and apparently you cant even put the mod in the game. The only point of it was to be a model of anti-woke/sweet baby inc. similarly to that of the horrendous angrb*da facetune that predates it š it serves no purpose outside of it being a model so it was literally a FAIL and come to find out, the creator of the mod doesnt even know or care about god of war. WTF.
#If you saw a post like this prior to today no you didnt.#I would NOT have cared about any of this had it been some obscure website by the way. I dont want to give any attention to shit like that#Also left the reblogs off and censored stuff just in case sorry guys EDIT: i put it on for now#all of this over a FICTIONAL CHARACTER.#how are you that mental?#Imagine going the extra mile over a 14 y/o video game character who is not even that popular to begin with but is enough#To hurt your feelings because you find it outrageous that shes black and atr*usās girlfriend.#And now after the election everyone acts like they are allowed to be weird like girl im not allowing shit tf š#We have been literally trying to reverse the results since we learned of it because why?#At this point the people that love to shit on her are her fans because no way youre ābitterā that shes black and still think about her#3+ years since her reveal.#If you really hated her that much you wouldnt do all of this theres just no way#Not putting their tags in.#god of war ragnarok#god of war
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Had to replay this choice two times due to extreme cases of 'He would not fucking say that'
#mien is not just non-religious he is specifically a cynic atheist#at first I thought 3 was about lessons from solas's story so like#'hey maker is not important not giving a bunch of ego maniacs power to destroy the world is what's important' or some shit#considering that it's at the spot where stoic options usually are I thought it to be the harsh response#nope he just talks about how chantry teaching are what's important#yeah my guy the chantry that demonizes your whole race constantly#then I read that 5 was a non-believer answer and thought it would be like#'maker may be a bunch of baloney but don't let it distract you from real problems like the blight that's happening'#instead he reassured harding that she could still believe in the maker???#finally settled on 6 because at least 'let the chantry clerks worry about that' is somewhat character-fitting#didn't pick it in the first place because I thought it would just awkwardly dismiss the revelation because of how the tool tip is worded#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard#the fuck do I even tag this?#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers
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People blaming the leakers for all the misinfo going around about the last chapter but A: their translation wasn't even that off, some bitches just can't read things and comprehend them at the same time and B: obv they're gonna have slight mistranslations did you see the bs that happened with last chapters leaks lmao??? Also it's literally one guy translating everything on the spot the moment he sees it, bro is not a professional and is just doing this because he wants to; some of you people act like you could do better as if the most japanese you speak isn't "kawaii" and "baka"
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha 430#some ppl still havent read it but it is officially out now so. no spoiler tag for you.#this is about the 8 year thing btw#which wasnt ever that serious and if you look at the leakers wording it isnt even that different and it doesnt really change anything#anyone who didn't understand it is just cosplaying as someone with reading comprehension cause like be fr#fought a war but people read one line and were like oh they hate his ass#okay man#the leakers have made mistakes before but again. the guy is literally translating that shit as he gets it#do you know how hard japanese is???#also lets not act like the officials dont fuck up the translations too#if youre someone who wants to read the chapters early#youre obv going to have to deal with scuff#theyre literally leaking that shit#like#come on
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the concept of delta engineering the decision game so he and phi can be born is kinda funny he's like ok so i have to worsen my parents' existing ptsd so me and my Stupid ass sister I Guess will be born witj magic powers and shes also gonna have worsened ptsd as a result. this is a Necessary evil Life is Simply Unfair :/
#zero escape#ztd#zero time dilemma#ztd spoilers#zero escape delta#zero escape phi#this is a draft i had from like. august i need to post more of my drafts i kinda cooked?#but fucking help me. its so funny#like i know he has to do it but based on how he and phi interact i know he does not give a shit about her#in the last few minutes of ztd they HAAATE eachother in response to phi being pissed about being used for this whole thing he literally is#like 'does that make you angry#in the most condescending tone ever#like Are you mad? Are you seething? You have fallen into my trap dear sister#being real + unrelated to post: i kinda wish they had more of an actual dynamic/some interaction. or like delta had more of An Opinion on#phi rather than just He dgaf. like bestie she's patient zero for YOUR virus. and he's also the guy who started a cult with clones of his#dead adoptive brother out of grief. you would think that guy would care a little more about having a secret long lost twin sister#even if he just fucking hated her and had beef with her i think that would be more interesting. and really funny. or maybe he pities her#but no his characterization is just Evil Complex Motives Old Guy. whereee is the moral greyness of zero like sigma or akane.....#on the topic of him singling out phi though for the line i mentioned i wanna say towards everyone else he responds normally to her he's jus#Interesting. Does that make you angry? Are you upset with how your life has been toyed with? Are you? and shes just like . what#anyways. sorry for rambling in the tags i just think delta and phis sibling dynamic could have been interesting but also REALLY funny#trevor.txt
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor āold friendā was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes itās possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, thereās a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that heās argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because heās not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesnāt think heās paranoid, but that heās exercising the right amount of caution.
So like. Listen dude. Yeah heās got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because itās not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isnāt his own childrenās livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is heās unreliable about himself when heās at his most rational and healthiest, and heās far worse with the current memory and health issues heās been mostly unaware of.
I dunno itās like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And itās not just a case of āBagi just hasnāt lived through __ yet!ā. Badās own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.
#everyone letās remember rurusā tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will#make it seem like itās the most reasonable thing to do in that moment#now this is more me complaining about shit Iāve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but Iāve got beef#side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBadās paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just āwerenāt there to experienc#-the dark timesā or āwerenāt there for the egg deaths/nightmaresā like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so#reasonable#heās got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ācookie jarā would need rethinking with security#but to say qBagi (or Jorgeās/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like#qBadās reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until thereās nothing left to pick at#sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time itās not#and on the flip side itās like yāall bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree donāt be silly here okay. he does this because he care#even without a memory in his brain he calls them ālittle oneā and is gentle like. he cares#but at the same time this doesnāt always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. heās Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with#heās selfish he can and will jump to extremes heās overly controlling. and heās the worlds most unreliable narrator#Iāve been saying this Iāll keep saying this heās an unreliable narrator! this doesnāt make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you#cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR#heās talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character#you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will āIām just a little guy and the world is out to get meā his way outta#everything#there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses#idk Iām running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags#and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#q!bagi#z speaks
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When you really like Astarion and his relationship with your tav so you search him up on TikTok because oh Iām sure people have made good content of h-
This user has taken 25 points of psychic damage
This user has taken 25 points of psychic damage
This user has taken 25 points of psychic damage
This user has taken 25 points of psychic damage
This user has taken 25 points of psychic damage
The deeper I went into the āAstarion Girliesā (BROTHA EUGH) the more I wanted to dive bomb off a cliff
LIKE WDYM YOU THINK AA AND TAV ARE HEALTHY??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK AA LOVES TAV??? AFTER NON ASCENDED ASTARION LITERALLY TELLS YOU HE ALMOST LOST HIMSELF?? AND WOULDVE IF YOU HADNT CONVINCED HIM NOT TO ASCEND?? The game tells you AA actively thinks youāre disrespecting yourself by being with him?? But itās fine because maybe thatās what you want. Youāre quite literally disregarding his ENTIRE story- you objectified him SO MUCH YOU TURNED YOURSELF INTO AN OBJECT.
#idk if thisāll make the tumblr girlies mad#lets hope not#(big long tag rant incoming)#how can you disregard a characters story THAT much#like okay#Iām not trying to kink shame here if your into that owner owned shit whatever#but like-#trying to say thatās his GOOD ending#or even a GOOD ending for ASTARION#is stupid#you look stupid#bg3#also like the amount of just pure sexualization of him is so sad#they really DO just view him as an object of desire#exactly what he DOESNT wanna be#and you might be looking at this and being#like āwhy does this random person care so much?ā#and to that I say#idk#because media literacy is so far lacking#how can you misinterpret THAT badly#the game SPELLS IT OUT FOR YOI???#the game tells you how your Astarion is gone#how AA ISNT EVEN THE SAME GUY#he does not love you#itās an abusive dynamic#and if youāre into that COOL YOU DO YOU ITS FICTION#BUT STOP ACTING LIKE ITS HIS GOOD ENDING#LIKE ITS HEALTHY#astarion
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Dont apologize !! !!,, loll, theres far more i can do with this route anyways !! !! Im actually quite glad they chose the much nicer route, they couldve learnt more, yes, but i think the ones who wanted to go that route were trying to attempt to shatter that delusion,, uh, which wouldnt happen. //at all// . maybe a /small/ amount if i think they did it ABSOLUTELY perfectly, which was NOT going to happen lmaoo, especially with the asks that begin that route. That delusion, if im gonna be 100% honest here, is probably one of the things keeping him going. They are NOT going to be his therapist ab it either,, i think the chance of breaking that delusion is far far gone at this point. ALSO NEVER APOLOGIZE ABOUT YAPPING IN THE TAGS ITS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER PLEEEAAASSEE I ENCOURAGE IT!!!!!!! TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!! READING THE TAGS IS LIKE ONE OF MY FAV PARTS EVER WAAGGHHH I <3 YOU TAG RAMBLERS I <3 YOU PEOPLE WHO LEAVE TAGS AT ALL!!! <- it also helps me monitor what you have and havent figured out or noticed through observation :-3
#every time i say its a delusion i mean it dude like actual definition delusion#he'd need psychotherapy and youre not gonna give him fucking therapy because 1. you guys would do a terrible job. sorry. and 2. hes so far#gone in that delusion youre not gonna change it.#The only negative thing about his delusion is he is unaware and thus cannot help himself better with things like the glitching and when his#joints lock up n shit#he wouldnt take care of himself better regardless in this state i think#even if he knew#sorry but thats just kinda how it is :-P#Youre insanely right about it causing more harm#if they had done this route and successfully broken it(wouldnt happen as flimsy as his delusion is)the breakdown from that would be probabl#one of the worst#you dont want to see that OR inflict that upon him at all#i kind of dont either to be honest#i only liked that route for the first ask of it and that was it LOLLL i was just kinda being a shithead ab it X-P#i <3 tag ramblers#im one of them if you couldnt tell by how much i fucking talk in the tags on every single damn post
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hold on im still too mad at this one fucking guest to take a nap i need to be a hater for a minute
#so when i say hell on earth kinda day i mean HELL ON EARTH kinda day#we had a large bus travel group from slovakia and then some other guests and it was almost a hundred people for breakfast#the bus group all came at the same time they descended onto the buffet like fucking seagulls i swearrrrr#and i divided tasks like i had two helpers with me in the kitchen so one guys job was just to gather dirty dishes + washing + taking clean#ones back out#and the other guy running around the buffet checking whats needed + restockjng the cold food + telling me all the hot stuff that needs#refilling. so i was in the kitchen making all the hot foods on constant rotation + chopping fruits and making smoothies and shit#and like we managed. WE MANAGED. the buffet was never even half empty at any point like yes there was always something that was empty but#dude who cares if the vanilla yoghurt is empty for 5 mins just pick something else.#and everyone was happy with their breakfast and really nice when asking if we have more of this and that etc and then there was one lady#this ONE FUCKINGGGG lady i swear i almost threw hands#she was complaining about everythinggggggggggg#about there not being any more fried eggs (already in the pan. done in 2 mins. but when helper nr2 told her that she said well why did we#run put in the first place) about the bread station being full of crumbs like girl its BREAD. my giy was running up and down the buffet#wiping it off and cleaning as fast as he could but if you allow people to cut their own bread there will be fucking crumbs. the fuck.#then she also didnt like how the butter looked bc OBV people kept using the butter and no matter how many times you go in and make it look#neat again as soon as the next person takes some it will not look picture perfect anymore#like while i was running back and forth restocking stuff with my arms full she TOOK MY ARM and pointed at things and was like#'this looks shit' so does your fucking face but you dont see me getting physical about it#and then when i came out with a big tray of fresh glasses and cups she pointed to where someone had spilled some water at the dispenser and#went 'there is water on the buffet' (far away from any food + literally its just water) and i said 'yes i know' and she goes 'well it doesnt#look very appealing. this is the worst buffet ive ever seen' and i go 'well surely you have seen how busy we are' and she FUCKING GOES#'i dont care. i paid money for this.' and i go 'well that makes two of us for not caring. we'll get to it when we have the time.' and she#said something else idk what bc i was finished with my task and had SHIT TO DO BC PPL WERE STILL EATING#so i just turned and ran back to the kitchen to keep working#actually i got back to the kitchen and said to guy nr1 'i need to go punch something' and then went out the back and started kicking the#shit out of a pile of paper boxes and THEN i continued working#and then she started TAKING PICTURES of everything she didnt like of the buffet like full offense i hope she gets hit by a bus#like with some people you can just tell they never worked a day in the service industry and no matter what you do theyll keep complaining#anyways :) tag limit. apparently. so its nap time now. honk shoo snork mimimi and so forth <3
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START š just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why š#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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hey has anyone ever considered doing shinjiro smut for after the fade to black but he lays you across his lap, like has anyone ever considered the canon praise kink with him moreāshinjiro who scolds you, calls you trouble and tells you to stay close to him like a "good girl", shinjiro who acts tough, pretends to be fed up with you pushing him around (he loves it, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna hear about it), ignoring what he wants, so two can play that game, and you think, god, he's not holding back anymore, he's going to kiss me, finally, we're going toā but no, he settles on his bed and pats his lap and tells you that you need to "take responsibility" for teasing him like that, messing with his feelings ā "be a good girl." remember, you started this.
#shinjiro aragaki#suggestive#i also like the idea of asking him to do something and he outright scoffs like fully has an attitude about it#tries to remind you what he said about ignoring his needs and asks you what makes you think he's gonna pay attention to yours#you think you get to ask him anything? that's cute#i love playing into that though like i know everyone is all in on the 'i ain't holding back anymore bit' but sorry#man says 'you think you can just push me around? ignore what i want? yeah. well. two can play that game' in that VOICE too? whew boy#like i think he should get to do that a little bit i think he should put me over his lap until i behave#fuck i think it should be more than that though like imagine him lifting you and just. like. tossing you onto the bed.#trying to sass him about the noise and he's like 'you think i give a shit about those guys when i got you right here?' like#i want him to take the wind out of me ya feel i want to talk shit get bit#hit a little too but like open handed#or maybe he tosses you on the bed and you're like 'oh shit oh shit' and then he sits at the foot of it and fucking#PULLS you onto his lap and rucks up your skirt just like that and there are a few moments - a hitched breath#'under negotiated kink' i don't CAREEE that's part of the fantasy like how hot would it be to just have someone tick those boxes untold#either way whether he gets wild or not (preferably yes but maybe needs time to warm up)#it's like. god. he should get to y'know. like (some of) my autonomy being taken from me without him ever overstepping is hot. hot. hot.#he should bend me over his lap and make me keep count while he very tenderly very lovingly mocks me#condescending about the great leader letting herself be treated like this and enjoying it literally makes you turn around#and finally finally touches you properly but he fucking laughs and you're red-faced and he goes 'isn't that embarrassing' and ramps up#so you can't even answer him#god should i try to write this#i think i'm too much of a perfectionist to do this sometimes because i'll stew and never get it done ugh#anyway.#filth#pure filth#thank you#i think we outdid that suggestive tag#smut#(for safety)
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This clip has everything
- an hilarious bit of shade exchange about Queen of the Universe being cancelled and then about the Trixie and Katya show being cancelled and why
- a deep cut Ghost reference
- that Trixie motel season two is about them moving and renovating a new house
- How (as she says herself) she had to pack up her house, renovate a new one and move in all within a month while filming a reality tv show about it
- Doing all this while also doing all her other multiple projects
- During what we know now as when she was already spiralling, thus causing her to have a breakdown
- Katya going suddenly serious with a rather concerned and dubious opinion about this
#wanna add too#I am not here to shit on David#I don't really have any kind of ill will or real dislike of him#but it's hard for me to not question knowing your long term partner who you live with is already so stretched thin#even just from seeing his diet go into disordered eating#to not recognizing that#to the point where you would even suggest they do a project this big#let alone involving the one place where Trixie should feel safety and privacy and that she doesn't have to work#and to expect this all to happen in a month's time#that feels worrisome to me#because even if she was trying to hide it#how could he not see it#and say no he won't do it#for her sake#i don't know you guys#I just don't know#the brians#soft Daddy top Katya and his boy#imma put this in the regular tags#because fuck it#trixie and katya#trixie motel#trixie mattel#Katya#katya zamo#katya zamolodchikova#the bald and the beautiful
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About the time a guy was being creepy to me on a professional setting and my gut feeling told me "GET OUT NOW"
Ok, so hi! This post has to do with a reblog recently here in my blog, on one of my fics regarding Dante and Vergil with an s/o suffering from being hit on without their consent. I write Devil May Cry fanfiction and that was my way of coping with a CREEP being, well, a creep.
Who would've known, fanfic is therapeutical
My answer got so big, I decided to make a separate post about it - and I'm talking like this because, if this gets out the DMC sphere and other people read it, they'll understand the fandom talk a little bit. This is not just for the fandom, but everyone out there.
Including men. All of us are prone to being targets of creeps - even if I'll be telling about my experience as a woman, take this advice to your heart NO MATTER your gender.
When this episode happened in my life, I was 27 y/o, I think...? I got pushed into such a stupid corner by this guy who kept messaging me with "work related" stuff... And my family wasn't validating my "this is weird" feeling.
So... What happened?
(TW: I mention the words "rape" and "sexual abuse" but none of that has happened. It was a red flag and I want to talk about avoiding it like the plague and how people might dismiss your gut feeling when something is wrong. I write with brutal honesty, curse words and don't censor anything, because I'm here to tell people how it is not curating content to go viral on clean ~family friendly~ social media. This is honest advice I'd give someone else, so it's just a heads up. I'm a little jaded with all the censoring of "forbidden words" when you have to discuss serious subjects like this nowadays hahahaha)
First context, I'm a Lawyer. Hi. I know it doesn't sound like it Second context, I'm from Latin America. Hi again!
Well, in my country, we have to vote every couple of years for the National Lawyer Association President and Vice-President (for my USA people, it's like the BAR association for Lawyers - meaning only lawyers who have passed the BAR and are, indeed, full-fledged to the association and with a lawyer permit can vote). I hate it, but it is what it is, I have to vote every time for one of those posh speaking clowns or else.
This much older guy stopped me at the entrance to the voting building to do some political propaganda of one of the candidates. Expected. They weren't the ones I was gonna vote 'cause their agenda didn't fit what I wanted for the Association - nevertheless, I smiled and was polite. Guy wouldn't shut up, but that's a lawyer thing. Kept being polite, dismissed him kindly and went inside to vote.
As I came back, guy is there and stops me. I had called my mom to give me a ride home - by that time, I had been broke and without a job for 2 years up until that point, trying to get back into the ~lawyer business~ and recover from a very bad burnout, so paying a ride back home was a big no. I had my phone on my hand and kept chatting because, you know, networking. You never know.
Now, mind you. I'm about to celebrate my 30th birthday this year, but people seriously think I'm underage wherever I go. I have to literally show them my credentials and ID so they can believe a single word I say. This guy, must've been around his 50s or something - and I look like a teen or, at best, 20 years old. I graduated when I was 22, so that's the most he could've imagined I was.
As we're talking, dude is flexing his career so hard I start to do the same. He says he has known the President and influential people in politics (back then, far-right government, so red flag already waving in the horizon), he has an office both here and in New York and Miami, he has worked with the FBI (we're in Latin America, the USA stuff is a flex for far-right people). I say I have worked as the Labor Lawyer in a huge worldwide known multinational company, coordinated with people in the USA and UK, had around 100 cases to manage monthly and keep the company in order when the directors were not around.
Guy is impressed and asks for my contact on LinkedIn. I'm down for it, I'm looking for a job and he could be one hell of a way to get back on business. Dude mentions he's in digital law and, heck, I wanted so bad to get into digital law! It was like he was put in my way by the angels to help me get back on my feet!
He asks for my resumƩ and my cellphone number, so he can have me in his office to have a cup of coffee. I am soaring by now. "That's it!!" I think "That's my ticket back to being a lawyer, to having my own money, to breaking the cycle of unemployment and having my career back!" - so I do it! I give him my number!
hello, workaholic aunt here speaking, my career was everything to me, I'd do everything for it
After I got back home, told my mom everything, and everyone was so happy. That's when he started sending me messages - asking for my address so he could send me some lawyer magazines and such... Even though he had asked when we were talking before and I changed the subject. I didn't give him of course, but instead sent him my resumƩ.
So, next day he asks me about that coffee and I said we can make it happen... Even if he got my name wrong. I have a pretty exotic name in whatever country I go, so it's a common mistake, known to happen, no one can pronounce my name right if I don't teach them how to, so yeah. I'm willing to gloss over that.
I'm assuming he read my resumƩ, saw how smart, capable and hardworking I am, and wants to talk business. Wants to offer me a job. I'm super ready. I'm taking my business clothes out of the closet, I'm cleaning my high heel black boots, I'm checking my references and vocabulary so I don't screw up. Guy sends a message saying he wants to take me out for lunch.
Red flag. My instincts flare up and I'm just staring at the screen. I start reviewing everything. I mean... Business lunches are ok, right? I had lunches with my manager and director plenty of times back in the day and it never got weird. So... Why was I feeling weird now...?
Guy says we can go out for lunch and then back at his office so he can show me around. I was like "hmmm... ok? shouldn't be weird. this is normal." but nevertheless I went to check with my mom and my sister.
Both said it was fine. I was feeling weird because it's a guy and me and I shouldn't be feeling uneasy - it's my social anxiety/workplace trauma talking. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I shouldn't screw up.
I keep talking to him. I ask where we should meet up for this lunch and he tells me to give him my address, so he could pick me up and we can go to "a nice place to have lunch" (his words, not mine).
Red flags are dancing around my head. I keep thinking "have I lead him on something????" and going mad. What was I wearing? Only work clothes, that's all - suit pants, black high heel boots, dark silk shirt and only a nude lipstick so my lips wouldn't get chapped. My shirt didn't even show cleavage.
It's ridiculous how I feel this is a thing I should add 'cause heaven forbid the cleavage
What about what I've said? Did I accidentally flirt?? 'Cause that's been known to happen - I'm a clueless ace who can't for the life of me notice when people are flirting or not or notice when people think I'm flirting with them. And usually when they are not flirting or being attractive, that's when the magic happens for me! So... What gives?! Did I do something wrong, that sent the wrong message?
I mean, I was nice, yes. But you're supposed to be nice to people. I'm not gonna be rude just because most guys can't keep it in their pants.
I go over the messages. I didn't do anything strictly not business like. I'm very good at that. I have only worked responding to men as bosses in my life, had four male bosses before him, all different ages, marital status, star signs, backgrounds, lives. The best colleagues and co-workers I used to spend hours having coffee and laughing with were men. So I know how to keep professional and not mixing things up. It wasn't a slip up from my side.
Well, then there's always the chance I was going crazy and overreacting, soooo... I go over to my mom and sister. They think it's weird, yes, but they do think that's exactly what's going on: I'm overreacting and my social anxiety/workplace trauma is blocking me from pursuing this opportunity that can help my career - and make me have a salary again so I can help at home.
Ok. I though up and go back to talking to him. I tell him fine but I'll go to the place myself, so he can tell me where he's thinking about having lunch. Guy tells me nothing and keeps insisting I give him my address and he will give me a ride so we can "get to know each other better".
My GODS I've never felt so uncomfortable. Not even when I had to stay ONLY with my boss working until 1 am, only the two of us in the company building, every light out except the one in the room we were in, him being around 15 years older than me and very confident, with the two of us having one of the best work chemistry I had in my LIFE.
He could've done ANYTHING to me, but we only talked strictly work. We were tired, he waited for my mom to pick me up at 1 am outside so nothing bad would happen to me, both of us under an umbrella, he apologized to my mom for having me stay at work so late and then went back home to his wife and kid. I NEVER, at ANY moment felt unsafe around him. He was my mentor, he was my boss, he was a good colleague and even somewhat of a friend.
So why on EARTH was I feeling SO UNCOMFORTABLE with this guy I had only met ONCE face to face in my life?
I start to voice my concerns. My mom and my sister think I'm only saying that because I don't want to go back to work. That I want to throw my career away because I can't control my anxiety and my feelings. We fight a couple of times and a couple of days. My mom tells my aunt about it. My aunt goes full FBI and does a background check on this dude.
That's when she told my mom some things weren't adding up. His LinkedIn profile was a little too weird and he had no ties whatsoever with the elected President of the Lawyer Association - was he really someone in their team for propaganda? Nevertheless, he did have an office and did work with digital law, both here and in the USA. I shouldn't let this opportunity slip.
I got so mad. SO MAD. To the point my sister decided to ask her boyfriend for his opinion on all of it and he was like "hey... your sister is kinda right. guy wouldn't offer to take ME to a nice restaurant to have lunch and go to his office later for a coffee, would he...? I mean, this never happened to me" - and sis' boyfriend is on the business meetings and negotiations/selling part of the spectrum. He knows what he's talking about.
So now I finally have a man validating my concerns.
I take the decision to shut the whole thing down. I go "very well, I will NOT meet him, I will NOT maintain contact with him, he's treating me like a whore he picked up on the street". At this point, I am FUCKING FUMING. But still, my sister and mom gave him the benefit of the doubt and made me feel like I was doing something wrong.
So I decided to marinate him for a while.
I should note that all his messages were sent close or around midnight, not at working hours. And I only answered at working hours. Since I was taking a while to respond, my dude just goes like, and I kid you not, "ooooh she's not answering, she's ignoring me, I don't like that *sad emoji*" LIKE A FUCKING 13 YEAR OLD (no offense, 13 y/o peoples, but this dude is a FULL GROWN ASS MAN).
I am offended, I am flabbergasted and I wish I could suplex him to oblivion.
I show my mom the message. She just stares at me in awe. She FINALLY is like "yeah, ok, this isn't very professional". ALL THIS TIME, I never really told her what I was thinking and what was really worrying me. And then I break her the news that, what I'm really afraid of, is that this guy is going to rape me in his car. Or he's going to drive me somewhere I can't fight or scream and then he'll rape me. Whatever the scenario, it ended up with me being raped and I was scared. SO. FUCKING. SCARED.
My mom goes into Sphinx mode - that's when she doesn't answer and doesn't even look at me and just ~thinks~. It's a brutal reality she doesn't like and I don't like it either, I mean, it's my safety we're talking about here.
I shut down the guy completely. I tell him there's a family emergency and I couldn't continue to give him any attention nor I could go out for that lunch and I couldn't talk anymore. He SUDDENLY goes cold and "I am sorry if any of my messages seemed inconvenient. Do answer when you have the time so we can make an appointment." And that's it. No more messages. He's done in my book.
My mom tells my aunt. Aunt goes Sherlock Holmes mode this time and, lo and behold, they find an website of this guy's office. My mom is shocked at how 90's internet it looks for a guy who works with digital law. She then recognizes the address of the office but the doesn't remember of any office building in that street - so she Googles it.
His "office" is actually a residential building - meaning, it was his home address. She shows it to me and I want to cry - out of rage, shame, fear, sadness. I go like "yeah, this is the place he wanted me to go, to his home. What was he going to do to me there, huh?" - and I think the answer is pretty obvious.
Later, speaking to my sister, she's like "I dunno why you're so mad" and I'm like "WELL MISS I just got PICKED UP LIKE A WHORE outside of an OFFICIAL EVENT for the NATIONAL LAWYER ASSOCIATION while I was DRESSED UP PROFESSIONALLY and looking for PROFESSIONAL opportunities and I COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED. I think I have all the right in the FUCKING WORLD to be FUMING."
That's when we diverged some more. She just said like "hey that's how the world works: women are treated like whores - you weren't the first one to have this happen to you and you won't be the last. What are you gonna do about it? Get over it."
Oh. Boy. I looked at my sister's eyes. I saw her just staring at me weirdly. A storm was approaching. The skies darkened. Bury the Light started playing in the background. Vergil's doppelgƤnger was standing behind me like an angel of death. (All DMC references for my non-DMC peoples)
"Well. I wanna have power. So much fucking power in this world that no one ever even thinks about treating me like that again. So much power they will fear standing in front of me and saying those words - they will look into my eyes and shut up. So much power I will never be afraid to walk on my own again and I will never have to doubt my feelings when I'm feeling unsafe because some lowlife pitiful little shit decided I should be a whore to satisfy him. I want to have power so I will never be this helpless again."
Cue in my sister just sitting there with butter in the slice of bread in her hand, staring at me like "wtf man... do you need a hug...?" and me doing a dramatic exit back to my room to, well... Write the fanfic in question.
(For my DMC creatures: I never even thought of Vergil when I said all of this, I just noted that thought later in my diary and reading it a couple of days later I was like "omg I have become my worst enemy, fuck you Verge" because I kid you not, I used to hate this man with all the fibers of my being - hence where my longfic Nemesis came from. I realized I lived long enough to become my worst enemy - and maybe I hated him because Vergil made me look at the part of myself I didn't like and didn't want to admit existed *I'm laughing while writing this, I do find it weirdly amusing*)
DMC things aside, this WHOLE episode made me feel so frustrated. I never had anyone to validate me, only people doubting me or asking me if I lead him on, or what was I wearing, or if I smiled too much, if I was being too nice, if I said something inappropriate, and so on. I had to get it all off my chest and I thought maybe, juuuust maybe, Dante and Vergil would've been more supportive regarding that.
Because, you know, they know trauma and they are protective as fuck. They can have all the red flags and mental issues in this world, but I don't think they would EVER dismiss their partner - especially a woman - feeling unsafe and fearing being abused or raped. In order to trust, you have to give the person and opportunity and room to open up to you without judgements - and I do think they aren't very judgy people.
I mean, they are demons, for fuck's sake. They can't judge anything especially Vergil
Also, I don't blame my mom nor my sister (even if I got really mad at her). In the end, both of them wanted what was best for me, they thought it was an opportunity and wanted me to get my career back. Truth is, no woman knows how to act when this happens. And they didn't know how to act as well. They didn't want to think of the worst: just like I was doubting myself and my own feelings, they were doubting theirs as well. We ALL had to be validated by a man to admit something was wrong and we weren't hysterical.
Ok, ok, storytime over. But I felt like sharing this because people, you are ALWAYS valid in your concerns - and there's no clothing, no smile, no attitude, no NOTHING that JUSTIFIES abuse. If you're abused or feeling like someone wants to take advantage of you, especially sexually, YOUR FEELINGS AND FEARS ARE VALID. Don't shrug it off or water it down just because people are saying you're overreacting - if I had listened to everyone around me instead of my gut feeling that something was REALLY wrong, only the gods know what would've happened. But I'll tell ya, it probably wouldn't have been good for me.
At best, I'd be mad this guy would want to pick me up like a whore and I'd have to turn him down and take a ride home. At worst, he would've raped me - in his car, at the "restaurant", at his "office". We don't know, but I didn't want to "give luck to bad luck" as we say where I live.
I didn't have support, so I wrote a story to feel supported by the fictional characters I look up to - I wished SO bad I was dating someone, especially a man, who'd tell me he'd go through hell and back to keep me safe and wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me and validate my feelings. Someone who would make me feel safe and I wouldn't have to only rely on myself.
cue in V saying he too wanted to be loved and protected, I tell you, all this time I thought I hated Vergil when I had only found my nemesis in a mirror
So, don't ever doubt yourselves. Don't ever doubt your gut feelings. We might want validation and someone to keep us safe, but sometimes we don't have that and have to rely on our survival mode. It sucks, but there's a reason why that thing is called "survival": it keeps you alive. It keeps you going.
And no one, NO ONE has the right to say you're overreacting, you're being hysterical, you're reading too much into it, you're just trying to find the easy way out, you just don't want an opportunity because you're lazy, you're crazy and deranged, etc, etc.
If your gut is flapping red flags all around, then overreact. Be hysterical. Read too much into it, find the easy way out, be lazy, be crazy and deranged. Be the villain. Be the bad person. You're not perfect. You're not a princess. Be comfortable with people telling you you're bad - but never NEVER let go of your gut feeling when your safety is on the line.
That fucking thing WILL save your life. Being too nice, though, might not. Listen to yourself, be TRUE to yourself, and, again, don't be afraid to be bad.
Someday you might just find your half-demon man who will support you, protect you and treat you as an equal powerhouse, but until that day, keep on conquering your self-esteem and unwavering will.
I'm just saying all of this now because:
1 - I was too scared to talk about this for a looong time afraid the guy in question would find this, know it's me and my safety would be on the line again
2 - Just now I'm getting comfortable with the concept of being "seen as the villain" and being "seen as bad". My whole life I have been dancing around this because people always said I had a "difficult" personality. I watched Cruella recently and it hit home so hard. We do have things to learn from villainous characters and maybe this is just who I am. People are going to see me as bad so, who cares. Even if I'm not, it would do me good getting used to that idea - I can be more assertive to my boundaries and not allow any of this to happen again. So, there you go. It's an exercise everyone should do. Are you comfortable defending your ideas, your boundaries and your integrity even if people are mad you're not being a pushover/perfectly polite?
It's something I think all of us should think about ;)
Also
thanks for coming to my TED Talk :')
#polaris speaks#story time#red flags#workplace#work life#job hunting#I don't even know how to tag this#so if you guys have any ideas you're welcome to add#I just think it's a bit of experience we all have to share#so other people will be aware and know how to avoid this kind of shit#because like I told you not even all the women in my family knew how to act#and we all have this thing of not being rude or cutting off relationships or networking contacts and such#of being perfect all the time#hence why I'm on this 'be bad be villainous be fabulous' phase#'cause I do think some of us could benefit from that#don't be a bitch by all means#but know how to set and protect your boundaries#alsoooo it's a huge post#I know#but I felt it might be good#so thanks for reading if you read all of it HAHAHAHA#I HOPE it has helped you xD#still scared of that guy finding me tho not gonna lie#but it is what it is
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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