#how do i turn this knowledge into what i need 🤔 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katerinaaqu · 1 month ago

Note

Hello :) firstly I wanted to say that I love your analyses and I love all the information and knowledge you’re able to give us, thank you soo much for that.

Secondly since you know so much especially about the odyssey and Odysseus and I’ve recently seen a post where you explained the calypso situation I wanted to ask if you’ve made such an in-depth analysis on the Circe situation? I’m convinced the whole thing wasn’t consensual but there are always ppl saying stuff like “what Hermes said isn’t important” “Circe was at his mercy when she asked him to do the deed with him so he tricked her into doing it” “Odysseus was invulnerable to her powers so that means he wasn’t in danger meaning he willingly slept with her” and since I haven’t read the odyssey in a while I wanted to ask you .

Tysm for your time and I hope you have a wonderful day

Hello and you are very sweet! I really feel happy you do enjoy them and I am also grateful to receive comments and thoughts from you under my work 🙏 it always means so much when people get interested in the ancient texts much more when they honor me with their trust on tye matter.

I believe you are referring to my latest answer then where I re-analyzed the Calypso matter.

OF COURSE I can! I would be happy and delighted to especially since their relationship is so complicated and fascinating to begin with. The way in which it evolves in a very interesting degree and the way both characters share common traits is also fascinating. Circe is called also wily or with tricks which also seems to correspond to the essence of Odysseus himself. A power couple no doubt. But indeed so misunderstood by the media and their interpretations.

So here goes sorry if this is long:

I find it so interesting how far selective interpretation goes 🤔 😆 I find it interesting that indeed there are people out there that read the passage where Hermes SPECIFICALLY mentions how Odysseus has no choice and say that "oh it doesn't matter really!" Hahaha so to be more precise the passage goes as such;

Then you shall not refuse the goddess's bed if you want her to release your comrades, and she shall offer entertainment to you

(Translation by me)

The passage is clear. Hermes tells Odysseus he has no choice but to accept the bed of Circe's if he wants to save his men and see them again in human form. I find it quite interesting that people ignore that or they claim it is unimportant to the plot. This is literally the reason why Odysseus is there. What is more I find the notion of the moly immunity funny because Circe was not a force to be reckoned with only with her magic. In fact Homer also writes afterwards;

However make her swear a sacred and great oath that she will have nothing else bad in store for you so that she won't hurt or unman you when she has you stripped naked.

(Translation by me)

Hermes clearly states that Circe does not need to turn him into an animal to be dangerous. In fact as someone else said before me, it almost seems like Circe might as well kill or castrate him while she has him naked and vulnerable. Hermes clearly states that Odysseus is not safe even if he is immune to her power at that specific moment. It also shows that Circe could harm him at every moment and the only reasons she didn't were this promise that he extracted from her and perhaps her own feelings for him (curiosity or other). Throughout the passage Odysseus was speaking on the fear he was feeling even from moment number one;

And she opened the fine doors calling me in and I followed her with a heavy and grieving heart

(Translation by me)

Odysseus was literally frightened. All the time. As he said he had a grieving heart (ἀκαχήμενος ἦτορ) and he continued to be distrustful of her and afraid even if he had extracted that oath from her.

However my heart could not be pleased for I was distracted as my mind was always thinking on dark thoughts

(Translation by me)

I adore how Homer uses the word ἀλλοφρονέων (=to think differently, to be distracted) but the word αλλόφρων also used in modern Greek to speak on someone who is mad or crazy and is also used as a phrase to indicate someone who is not just worried but someone crazy in fear. Odysseus has extracted the promise, he has accepted the attentive care of Circe and her handmaidens in the bath and he is now sat before a real feast and he is crazy in fear and doubt. His continuous sense of anxiety is obvious in the passage. So to say that Odysseus was just fine and that the whole adventure with Circe was a breeze and that he was safe against her just because he had eaten the Moly at that time seems to me funny since every part of the passage shows how he was afraid. What was more, there is no guarantee that the Moly would protect him forever from Circe's magic not to mention that as we said before, even without her magic Circe had plenty of aces up her sleeve starting from her animal entourage till a potent knife at the time that she had Odysseus under her mercy (thus the need for a promise on her part).

Also even if we say that Moly would keep him immune forever, what about his men? His men had not consumed Moly and it was obvious that the only reason that Odysseus was there was to rescue his men. What guarantee did he have that Circe wouldn't enchant his men again if he misbehaved? Quite frankly as I said above, Circe's likeness for his boldness or potentially his mind plus the oath he extracted from her seems to be the only thing that prevents Circe from using his men as hostages once more. Quite frankly the whole adventure with Circe was a very big hostage business. Odysseus was thinking on his men's safety (not to mention the rest of them waiting by the ship) apart from his own and as you see he was already very much afraid as it was.

I also find it interesting that the reason why Circe seems to be getting Odysseus immediately to her bed is that she knew he would come. Just like Polyphemus knew by a prophet that Odysseus would blind him (although she didn't know the nature of the person that would blind him) Circe says that she knew from Hermes that a certain Odysseus would arrive at her isle on his way back from Troy. So in one way someone to say that Circe was out of options seems at least funny as a notion. It seems that she knew who was coming she just didn't seem to know the conditions that would bring him there.

Now was Odysseus attracted to her?

In my opinion there is no doubt about it as he describes how beautiful Circe was. Would he consider to sleep with her if it weren't of Hermes's advice? In my opinion no. Odysseus would absolutely be finding Circe attractive given her beauty and her divine nature, which is no surprise there but finding attraction to one person and act on it are two different things. In my humble opinion I do not think that Odysseus would act according to that attraction. Would he be curious on the experience with an immortal goddess? Absolutely. He is a naturally curious person and he wants to gain knowledge from other experiences in his life. Would he act up that one? Again I think not.

The reason why I think so is that the essences of loyalty in marriage are not as cut and clean as we usually think of in modern times. True if we judge from Hera myths, it was not preferable for a man to have extramarital affairs but it was generally tolerated. Agamemnon speaks on the affairs he had and many others had affairs. Odysseus would have no reason to hide his actual attraction towards Circe (and he doesn't given how he does speak on her very warmly eventually). Throughout his narration he mentions many things negative about himself including but not restricted to; the conquest and enslavement of Ismarus, his mistake to insult God Poseidon, self-destructive thoughts, feeling of fear towards Circe or Calypso, his moments of sadness and isolation etc. All of these things would be considered embarrassing or even diminishing for him. Why would he hide affairs at a world that was more tolerant towards the affairs and instead say all these others that would make a king or a warrior embarrassed?

Now there is an interesting question of course as to why did Odysseus remain there for a year?

It is indeed food for thought to think about it because once his men were back to human form in theory he could leave right? That in my opinion is not cut and clean like that. For once he had to wait until his men were back to good health and spirits to travel and he might as well take advantage of Circe's hospitality to refill their batteries. However there is also the moment where in the Odyssey his men arrive personally and scold him that he forgot about their country and their homeland for the arms of Circe. So one can think indeed; did Odysseus indeed forget himself?

In my opinion it is possible. His men are not the only ones who wanted to refill their batteries. So was Odysseus. In fact he has MUCH MORE in his plate than the average human already. He has already been at war, he has the war crimes on his mind anyways and he has also witnessed most of his men dying in horrifying ways (Cicones, Polyphemus, Laestrigonians etc) and he has just witnessed the results of his actions as well with the Curse of Polyphemus and the way that the sack of Aeolus fiasco happened. Odysseus already was suffering a lot. Regardless of the fact that he was always afraid of her, the hospitality she offered was very much needed. He could rest and enjoy some safety of dry land for a change after everything he had been through and Circe kept her promise and was a very good hostess to them. Odysseus too needed that break. It is possible that he forgot himself at the care of Circe and quite frankly Circe seems to be also wishing to keep Odysseus by her side so she does seem to make it as easy as possible for him to stay.

So Odysseus enjoying some nice rest after so long, even in the arms of a goddess that scares him makes it cheating? In my opinion no. What is more it seems that the fear of Odysseus was always apparent. It seems that he was avoiding requesting from Circe to let them go the whole time. It almost felt like he was putting the whole thing off out of fear for her anger and refusal. He almost seemed to be gathering off the guts to tell her. When his men straight out demanded it he didn't seem to have a choice but to comply. So it shows how scared he was when he literally BEGGED Circe to let them go by falling on her knees.

And then I climbed onto Circe's beautiful bed and hugging her knees I begged her to set us free with a cry.

(Translation by me)

So basically Odysseus felt helpless before her and he had to do the employing ritual to her (you can see my other post about this ritual) so that he would be sure that Circe wouldn't refuse him or be angry at him. That same fear continued later for when he came back from the Underworld, he preferred to stay by the ships. He was literally brought back in by Circe herself who gave him some advice.

But while most part of the text in the Odyssey indeed implies the lack of free will or lack of options etc someone would think why would Odysseus be considered a cheater in the hands of Circe?

I think the answer lies to the general idea that many people have that we should consider Odysseus as an unreliable narrator and that all the details he lists are lies to cover his cheating.

Although as a logic seems to be very generalized, and it COULD hold some water in regards to some details, I still am not convinced as mention above that Odysseus is lying here. For starters he was already very emotional when speaking to the Phaeakes and an emotional Odysseus is the most honest Odysseus (we saw his emotions betraying him with Polyphemus, with his revelation with the Phaeakes or later with Penelope). Odysseus was already in a very strong emotional state so I do not think his narration is inherently doubtful. What is more, he does seem to have so many details in his narration about himself that are not positive about himself. He would have no reason to hide the specific one. And Odysseus mentions how Circe never had his heart before (see also my other answer here). I cannot find much of a reason for him to lie about that when he has literally admitted everything else that could paint him in an unpleasant light (especially his hubris with Polyphemus).

So to sum up yes I think he was being forced. His men were held hostage and he had to save them. Circe was never helpless regardless of the situation and she had many different ways to kill him if she wanted to. Would he be curious anyways? Absolutely. Would he act according to that curiosity? In that case I think not. He does say so himself and his imprisonment in Calypso's island in his narrative was supported by other characters and the poet so why would he lie for Circe either. One can definitely think about his emotions and how strong they would be about Circe but I think regardless of that, he wouldn't have necessarily act towards that curiosity given how his psychological state was originally

But I guess this is everyone's guess.

I hope this helps. It definitely it is up to you what you want to interpret and I will be happy to offer more passages inside the future reblogs and such! ^_^

#katerinaaqu answers #katerinaaqu analyzes #greek mythology #tagamemnon #odysseus #the odyssey #homeric poems #odyssey #circe #odysseus and circe #aeaea #circe and odysseus #homeric epics #homer's odyssey #homer odyssey #homer #homer's odysseus #homer's circe

29 notes · View notes

reality-detective · 4 months ago

Text

“The finish line is for the ego. The journey is for the soul.”

We certainly learn more from the journey than from the destination. If you pay attention, you will realise how much you have changed, since you started this truth-seeking journey.

And that is, precisely, the whole point. Truth is found as you transform into a higher conciousness capable of assimilating and doing something about the truth you find.

It’s not so much that ‘the truth will set you free’ it’s that your capacity to see the truth has already freed you.

In any case, the phrase should more accurately read: “The knowledge of truth will set you free.” Knowledge is the key to everything, but you need to want to seek it, and that is exactly what is dividing humanity right now.

There are those that can’t be bothered to search for truth, those that catch a glimpse and turn their backs to it and then there’s those who have the courage to seek it and face it, even if it sucks. It is only the latter that stand a chance of being free.

Knowledge, however, is just the first step. Understanding is the next one. You must internally process knowledge, grasp it’s implications, digest them and apply them in your life.

Contrary to what most people believe, wisdom is not the knowledge of truth, it’s the application of that truth. Wisdom is when your thoughts (driven by knowledge) and your emotions (driven by the processing of that knowledge) are reflected in your actions. In other words; wisdom is when your thoughts, emotions and actions are perfectly aligned.

Wisdom not only requires knowledge and the capacity to process it, it requires courage, in order to turn it into action; as you think so you feel, so you say, or do.

So to all of you sharing this journey of seeking the knowledge of truth, trying hard to process it and attempting to act accordingly, I salute you.

I salute you for having the intuition that brought you on this journey in the first place, for having the the humility to accept your own ignorance, the strength to cope with truth, the capacity to process it, the generosity to want to share it with others and ultimately, the courage to do something about it.

Remember wisdom is the application of processed knowledge, so be wise and start making the necessary changes both internally and externally.

You’ve gotten this far - you can do it! 🤔

33 notes · View notes

7nessasaryevils · 8 months ago

Text

I'm back with things that made me clutch my chest, snap my neck, scream into the void etc etc... from ep 6 of Wandee Goodday.

Settle in my loves, we're in for one heck of a ride!

- starting us off strong with Yak waking up Dee, pouting about them not being able to see each other for a week because of the training camp, THE HEAD RUFFLE AND FOREHEAD KISS.... HELP ME IM GOING TO KILL THEM

- we're also back to the elephant pants and I cannot describe my happiness at seeing Yak wearing something that makes him comfortable while being with Dee

- that whole fucking montage... look at these domestic "we're just fuck buddies" assholes. Gentlemen, you wouldn't know "fuck buddies" if they were sucking your dick....

- TOOTHBRUSHES SIDE BY SIDE

- HES WEARING THE NECKLACE

- I had to physically stop myself from smacking my head into a wall at Yak's "I see you (Dee) more than I see her (Taem)" .... insert Scar's imsurroundedbyidiots.gif

- I love the way Dee thinks that Yoryak has no weakness? He genuinely seems surprised that Yak needs to go get trained 🥹🥹 also how worried he is when Yak explains his first loss...

- here's me toasting you Khun Yak for that sex joke 🤣👍🏽

-Patpran would be so proud... BET ERA MY BELOVED (if they fist bump I'll scream... oh phooey they didn't)

- them texting each other about their day... gwenchana gwenchana 😭😭😭

- I guess Oishi GreenTea is not sponsoring them 😅🤣

- Yak and Yei... just that scene...

- dee on the couch... quite obviously missing Yak... you dumbass ♥️🥺

- HE LEFT HIS PANTS THE- HE LEAVES CLOTHES AT DEE'S PLACE YOU DUMBASSES ARE SO INTO BOYFRIEND TERRITORY ITS OBVIOUS TO PLUTO!!

- that change in perspective... Golf... I see you and your masterful brain 👀👀👀

- HES WEARING THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTSSSSSSS

- Dee making a mess on the mirror on purpose (I'm not crying I'm NOT)

- sweetheart... you're in love with Yoryak... 🥹🥺♥️

- Cher? My darling? Give Yei a really good blowjob when he comes back because your hubby is fucking SMART (also yak and yei sleeping on a bed together... adorable sibling behaviour)

- me when Yak walks outside: ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh wandee is gonna show up he's gonna show up he lost the bet he's gon- OHHHHH YAK CLOSED HIS EYES AND WHEN HE OPENS THEM DEE WILL BE THERE!!!!

- me when i turned out to be right:

- "the atmosphere here is nice." "It got even better with you here." SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!

- hey pot? I believe the kettle is calling you black.

- give me a kiss... look at these two idi-

- you know when you have to put your phone down because you cannot believe the audacity? Yeah... that's me when Yak points right to his lips. Sir. You dumbass.

- my knees just gave out

- nobody hold me back im about my plant my foot into Ter's face

- KAAAAAAOOOOOOO HI BABY!!

- oh no. Oh no no no no. This is one time I do NOT WANT a whole "oh there's only one bed"!!!!

- side note: is this what happened with Billy and Babe when they went to Japan? 🤔🤔 thank you Kao 🤣♥️

- forget my foot. I'm dropping a fucking ANVIL on this asshole's face- where does Ter get off making decisions for Dee???

- DONT KISS HIM BACK OFF STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER YAK HELP!!! (edit: two mins later I was even more pissed off because Ter knows that Dee has a boyfriend, "fake" as it is, and he still tried to kiss Dee! This dickhead!!!)

- WELL DONE DEE!

- well done P'Golf!! HPV knowledge my beloved ♥️♥️

- Dee no!!! Don't think about that horse-faced dick doctor (if I had a quarter every time I said that, I'd have two quarters only... but weird for it to happen twice - fuck you Dr. Charlatan!!!)

- YAK! Come get your man!!

- I'm all for you two seeing each other again but NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET THATS HOW WE DIE!!! MOVE YOU DUMB GAYS! (Edit: Kay but now think of the fact that Dee is terrified of crossing the street and how easily he does it when it's Yak he's walking to...this is okay I'm okay I'm so okay)

- love and the city... p'golf you fucking genius

- kisses in the stairwell... gods they really want me to choke don't they?

- second time I had to put my phone down... Yoryak... I'm this close to drop-kicking you across the country

- my body is yours... and so is your heart you idiot get to that realization faster!!! Pat would be so disappointed!

- Kao coming in with those truths... my utmost respect for you sir 🫡🫡

- oh shit...

- TAEM YOU QUEEN YES!!

- DEE YOU DUMBASS NO!

- hats off to Cher and Yei being adorable and happy in their sex lives which includes phone sex!!! We approve!!!

- the side by side!!!! Interesting to think of it as a couple making love vs. a couple fucking but it's actually two couples in love... awww

- OYEI AND CHER LIP KISS THANK YOU P'GOLF!!!!

- Kao. Sir. I'm erecting temples in your honour. Making merit. Fasting. Praying for you to find someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. I'm doing it all for you because you fucking deserve it.

- the pink on Dee's face... sweetheart you're so in love with him 🥺🥺

- GROUP DATE!!!! And our resident idiot gays are in matching pants.... lord gimme strength

- feeding each oth- breathe Nessie breathe. The idiots know not how they hurt you.

- Yak recognizing that something's going on between Yei and Cher is such a lovely thing. Now if only he could realize stuff about himself and Dee!

- third time I put down my phone... but to cry because Yak remembers Dee's fear and holds his hand I'm fucking fine don't touch me

- oh no... Yei you got yourself mixed up with loan sharks! honey no!

- yak comparing the pics of him, Cher, Yei and Dee to the family picture... this epsiode really said we're going to stomp on your heart Nessie...

- they're still holding hands... fuck

- I'm begging whatever deity is listening to me: please don't let there be a scene where Dee tells the public about yak's secret place

- one more word and I'll kiss you... on the lips. (Okay but the fact that he says this and still thinks he might be in love with Taem makes me feel like this 👇🏽

- Yei you utter romantic sap 🥹🥹🥹🥹🫡

- the story of how Yei and Cher met... fucking fuck 😭😭😭

- and then ending it off with Dee knowing that no matter what his feelings, the fact that Yak is the only person who makes him feel at ease... FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK

this epsiode came for my whole existence and the next one... the next one is gonna have me on the floor THANKS!

#wandee goodday #wandee gooday the series #yak x wandee #wandee wittaya #wandeeyoryak #yoryak phadetseuk #oyeicher #bad boys #patpran #the bet era is back!!!!#wandeegooday spoilers!#spoilers #billy patchanon #babe tanatat #billybabe #the sign #Nessie is going through it

45 notes · View notes

fishnapple · 3 months ago

Note

As a professional tarot reader, I imagine you got a busy life outside of that whether it's another job or social obligations. I like how you conduct yourself both on your blog and when making personal interpretation reports for others. How do you tend to manage yourself, schedule, and energy to make the creative-spiritual content that you do? You seem to genuinely enjoy what you are doing. 🥰 Do you have any general or practical advice for people thinking of starting out in becoming a reader for others? 🤔

Hi, thank you for such a lovely message💓🌰 (I feel like sending some chestnuts). Somehow the word "conduct" reminds me so much of Saturn, and then Saturn reminds me of chestnuts.

Your question took longer to reply to than I expected. As I wrote, I realised that this is quite a broad topic. If I were to write to my heart's content then it would turn into an essay, so I will try to keep it concise as much as possible 👀

A bit of context: I quit my corporate job that used to take up more than half the time of day. After being a corporate clown for 9 years, now I just live as a hermit and do freelance jobs. Maybe I will stay as a hermit for the next 9 years then begin another journey, who knows. I'm not that good at self management, but my life right now is pretty simple, so it's easier to manage. I will share some of my personal experiences and observations about time management, creativity and spirituality here:

Time

Routine: Doing readings at a certain time of the day. I just found out recently that I do divination reading best at night time, rather than during daytime. I keep a general timetable in my head so I can have a general idea of when to do something (and not following it).

Checklist: I also keep a checklist of tasks I need to complete on time (PACs, personal readings), the feeling of ticking off boxes can be pretty satisfying 😆.

Space out readings: For PACc, I only read one group/day to keep the energy and length balanced between each group (if I do all the groups in one go, later group's reading length will suffer). For personal readings, I do the opposite, I tend to read all the questions in one go, but won't read for more than one person in one day.

Productivity

Enjoyment: Are you doing readings for your own enjoyment or as a duty? Do you genuinely like the questions, the topics? Do you feel comfortable doing readings for certain topics, for certain people? I don't think divination can be something that you can force yourself to do, especially when reading for other people.

Motivation: What are you trying to achieve when doing readings? for fun, for practice, for gaining knowledge, for digging out people's deep dark secrets, for money or for other reasons? Being clear on what motivates you will give you a better direction.

Perseverance: I like how every time I ask Tarot about my path, I always got the 8 of pentacles. Routine practice is good, don't compare yourself with other people, keep your gaze on what you're doing.

Guilt & Fear: I have productivity guilt sitting in the dark corner, ready to nag and whip any time I dare to be idle. Thanks to this, I was actually able to do lots of things. Doing something creative is also a good way to relieve stress for me, so the more stressed I am, the more productive I become *quietly, begrudgingly mumbling a "thank you" to Saturn aspects*. Guilt and fear, sometimes, can be such great motivators, with the right dose of course. (on the topic of fear, I once asked my friend if they didn't have any fears at all, what are the things that they would do? My friend answered "nothing, If I didn't fear anything, I wouldn't do anything at all")

Creativity/ Energy

Creative energy pool: Not to be confused with general energy pool. I don't know if other people feel the same, but for me, creative energy has a definite allotment for each day. If I use up that energy for one creative activity then I can't do another creative activity in that same day. So cramming many creative activities in one day can be counter intuitive. Doing divination, in my opinion, can also be a form of creative act, as it's about translating the messages inside you into a visible form of communication. So be mindful of that aspect.

The cyclical nature of creative energy: Some people are able to maintain a constant flow of energy, but in my case, it can be sporadic, it waxes and wanes like the moon so if I ever find myself feeling uninspired, I will just leave it and do other things, because I know it will come back later. If you find a topic or a question unappealing, maybe leave it for a while, read other topics then come back to it later.

Energy level: This is about the general energy level. Each person will have a different peak time for doing something during the day. Find out about yours and ultilise it. The tone and quality of a reading will reflect your energy, doing a reading when you're tired or physically unwell will have a negative impact on both the reading and you, not to mention the receiver of that reading if you read for others.

Interaction with energies: Be aware of your interaction with other people's energy, reading for others is a two way connection. Having your moods and thoughts be influenced by other's energy is real. Some will energise you, others can leave a bad taste but don't let that discourage you.

In the end, the most helpful advice I can think of is take it easy, keep doing what you enjoy and keep it fun & meaningful (even the soul searching, deep introspection readings needn't to be all dark and heavy, facing your demons can be like those dark fantasy novels, but it can also be slice of life comedy, none is less meaningful than the other)

I hope this can be helpful somehow. Have a great weekend ahead. 🌼🎐

#ask me questions #tarot #tips #self management #productivity #creativity

23 notes · View notes

isa-beenme · 2 years ago

Note

Hey could you pls do the nightmare trope with azriel where the reader has a very bad nightmare in which she sees azriel nearly dead and when she wakes up and finds him she can't believe it's him and he manages to help her ? ☺️🤔

I certainly can! 😉😉

Oh my, thank you very much for directing me on this one, my biggest fear is writing something people wouldn't like since I usually get carried away in the story and write whatever comes to mind first

Hope you enjoy this!!

I know I said I wouldn't do more than one fic for each trope right now but whatever I like this one better 😡

Until It Happens To You

The night was restless as if the shadows themselves whispered secrets that their master shouldn't hear. You felt burdened by a foreboding unease, your mind shifted between the deep slumber and the real world. You didn't feel Azriel's body beside yours in the bed, his side turning cold at each passing moment he was away. You were sure he slept at your side this night, just as the many others he said your presence made it easier for him to finish his work and finally get some rest.

This strange arrangement between the two of you started a few months ago, you with your throat dry and in need of water and him with a pile of work, he didn't finish during the day. You were so deep into your sleep that somehow you managed to invite him to your room and tell him he could do it in your bed since "two work better than one". You were obviously asleep when he found himself at your side, but he remained there anyway and assured you the next morning that it worked, in a strange way. After some days, some times you actually helped him, he distracted himself by your calm aura and slept in your bed.

That's how everything started and, on his restless nights, he found comfort at your side, both of you holding your peace together as the dream world caught you both at night.

Anyway, you imagined he went back to his room, as he did so many nights before, it wasn't weird at all. Yet, you couldn't get back to sleep as the silence filled the house, almost as if it was mourning something. Your eyes started to close again only to open by a haunting scream that seemed to transcend the walls of the whole house, filling every corner with terror.

In this nightmarish scenario, you found yourself standing in the middle of the room, what before was a bright and colorful place became a desolate chamber shrouded in darkness. The air was heavy with a cold, forming an oppressive atmosphere. Dimly lit torches flickered around you, torches you didn't remember you lighted. They kept casting eerie shadows that danced along the walls, mocking you with their macabre movements, almost as if they were laughing at your lack of knowledge.

As your eyes adjusted to the gloom, you noticed the open door, more torches lighting your way to the corridor, and the stones covering the walls, dirty with a thin layer of blood that started on your door and kept going downstairs. You checked your own body to make sure, finding nothing but heartache, a feeling that your heart was being ripped out of you.

You followed the path that led you to the living room, the blood forming a thicker layer with each step you took closer. The sight you found wasn't any better, close to the balcony doors, in a position that looked like the person was trying to run away, you spotted a figure lying motionless on the cold stone floor. The wings were shredded to pieces, and blood covered their clothes, forming a pool on the sides.

Your heart skipped a beat as recognition dawned upon you, making your knees tremble as you took in the image forming in front of your eyes. It was Azriel, the one whose love and presence had become the foundation of your existence. Panic surged through your veins, and your voice choked with fear when you screamed for help, but it seemed like no one was in the house besides the both of you.

-Azriel! No, please, wake up! - You uselessly screamed as you ran close to his body, feeling that your heart could explode at any moment with the pain you felt.

With trembling hands, you rushed towards him, your footsteps echoing ominously through the chamber. Kneeling by his side, you desperately shook him, but he remained unresponsive. His usually tanned and alluring features were now pale and lifeless, and his eyes closed in an eternal slumber. Suddenly you understood the pain you were feeling. The mating bond. The realization kills you even more.

Tears streamed down your face as you cradled his motionless form, hugging his cold body the way you could, hoping for any form of life to come out of him. Your voice became a desperate plea as you kept talking to him, even if you knew he wouldn't answer.

-No, this can't be happening! Azriel, please! Wake up! - Your anguished cries reverberated off the walls, fading into the oppressive darkness.

Yet, despite your desperate attempts, your touch suddenly met no resistance. It seemed to pass through his form as if he were nothing but a specter. His body started to disappear in thin air, the despair seemed to taunt you, amplifying your pain and the sense of loss.

As this nightmare tightened its grip on you, the chamber distorted and morphed, becoming a labyrinth of pain and suffering. The walls closed in, constricting your movements, suffocating you with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. You fought against the suffocating atmosphere, gasping for air, your voice a mere whimper as you tried to grasp Azriel's disappearing form.

- Please...don't leave me… I love you. I've been in love for a long time now and you can't leave me here… my mate - Your last words were whispered against the nothing.

When Feyre told you about the day she almost lost Rhysand she told you about the painful sensation of getting her heart broken. And you were there when she need it most while she remembered the situation, but you weren't the one falling off that deep end of silence and cold of a once cheerful and bright string that connected their souls. You understood her now.

You once had a friend that lost somebody close, and you were also there when they needed it most, but you would never be the one having trouble sleeping once the night came and you felt like you didn't do enough. But you understood them now.

You can say you're sorry a million times to Azriel's body laying on the floor. But even if you try hard, he won't come back. The same way you tried to sympathize with your friends, it was helpless, you wouldn't be the one picking up the pieces left of your heart. Now you were. And you felt helpless anyway.

Somebody loses somebody every day, but you'll never really know what it's like till you wake up to some really bad news and the worst scenario you could ever find. You'll never really know how it feels until it happens to you.

You looked around the room, the blood covering everything only made the pain worse. You looked outside, trying to find a starry night, instead, you only found a creature looking back at you, its teeth covered in your mate's blood when the thing seemed to smile at your figure. You only waited for the creature to break the windows and devour you completely, but as it came closer you only felt the wind meeting your skin as the thing breathed against your hair. It was inside the house the whole time, only waiting for you to mourn Azriel's body and relish its work before doing the same to you.

Just as the darkness threatened to consume you entirely, your body jolted awake, every piece of skin drenched in a cold sweat. The nightmare had released its grip on you, but your heart still raced with lingering dread. Trembling, you looked around the room, desperately seeking solace in the comforting embrace of reality. The colors and brightness of your bedroom make itself known as you take in the world around you. The small sounds of night filled you in, the solitude leaving your body.

And then you saw him - Azriel - sitting at the edge of the bed, concern etched across his face. His presence felt surreal as if the boundaries between the nightmare and reality had blurred. Tears of relief welled up in your eyes as you reached out to touch him, fear covering your movements as uncertainty filled you.

- Azriel...is it really you? - Your voice was trembling with disbelief as your hand finally made its way toward his face. Azriel's eyes softened with compassion as he gently took your trembling hand in his, his scars making everything fall into place. The reality and the mating bond.

- Yes, it's me. You had a terrible nightmare, but you're safe now - His voice was raw, he was probably trying to wake you up for some time now. Overwhelmed by emotions, you throw yourself into his waiting arms, holding onto him as if he was your lifeline.

- I thought...I thought I lost you - You whispered, voice quivering with a mixture of fear and relief. Azriel held you tightly, his touch a soothing balm to your shattered emotions.

- I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Do you want me to stay here a little longer? - At that moment, the nightmare's grip loosened completely, replaced by a newfound strength and resilience.

- I need to tell you something - His eyes widened a bit, and his breathing became uneasy. You realized he felt the tug you gave into that bond between you two - It was horrible to feel this being shredded to pieces as you died in my arms, I couldn't do anything while you disappeared right in front of my eyes.

- I'm here now, I'm fine - He kissed your head and pulled you closer - I woke up when I heard your scream. You were calling my name - He smothered his hand on your arms, warming you with his presence - When I got here you weren't screaming, but I could still hear your voice. I probably heard from…

- The mating bond - You finished the phrase for him, just seeing him nodding - Why didn't you sleep here tonight?

- If I spent one more night at your side without having you being mine completely I would go crazy - He put you to lay down on the bed, quickly getting under the covers with you - I thought I should put some space between us or I would hold you in my arms and never let you go.

- I wouldn't be opposed to this, you know - You said in a whisper, seeing the smile that planted his face as he went closer and closer to you, holding you impossibly near his naked torso, enough heat irradiated from him to warm both of you. His presence became your anchor, his love a guiding light through the darkest of nights - What do we do now?

- Now we sleep, I don't go to train tomorrow so we can talk and figure out how we gonna work this out - His hand traveled to your face, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes - I want you to have in mind that I won't rush you in any way, but I love you and I want this between us. I want you to love me too.

- I already do. I always did - You whispered as you went closer and closer, slowly ending the gap between both of you as you kissed his lips lightly, just a taste of the near future you both could have - I want everything with you, and I don't want to wait. Just to remember the sensation of losing you without getting to live anything makes me anxious.

- It's okay now. I promise I won't leave your side - He wrapped one wing around you, providing a safe space for you both - Get some sleep now, when the sun rises we can talk - He granted one last kiss on the lips before you closed your eyes and hugged him tight.

You stayed entwined in each other's arms, finding solace in the warmth of your embrace. The nightmare may have left scars, but also a sensation of longing for the bond that you would have to fulfill for the rest of your life. The scars would heal with time and you would both find solace in the unbreakable bond you shared.

#azriel × reader #spotify #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel/reader #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #acotar #azriel x female!reader

196 notes · View notes

ninjakk · 10 months ago

Note

I'm the anon who's been reading ur SWaK fic! Thank you for answering the qi deviation question. it's making me see mdzs in a whole new light. I recently saw a post (askSythe on here) about the significance of the blood pool and how throwing bodies in there removes them from the reincarnation cycle and that's what the clans did to the Wen Remnants and JC is rumored to have led this siege and my heart HURTS. continuing this in next ask -

Hey there anon 👋🏻

I'm glad you're enjoying my fic ☺️

As for the post you are referencing, I had not come across this until you mentioned it in your ask and have since went in search of it in order to reply. From what I can gather from the notes, it seems to have garnered a lot of controversy and subsequent backlash against the person who posted it originally.

I don't want to criticise other people's posts (especially when they have already received so much negativity from it), but with all due respect, I don't feel this was MXTXs intention with the blood pool. There's no mention of it in any version I have and I've also had my friend check the entire original novel for the phrase '永不超生', which is quoted in the original post, and we can't locate that in the Chinese text either. Regardless of that, I don't feel such a claim fits with the rest of the novel.

I could be completely wrong, as it's not something I've really thought about, nor do I have the cultural knowledge of the specific concept the original post is referring to. But, if the Wen remnants were forever barred from reincarnating due to their corpses being thrown into and essentially trapped in an apparent 'unbreakable prison' (which they managed to escape), why would WWX set an array around the blood pool to stop corpses escaping when he lived there back in his first life? 🤔 How were all the corpses able to crawl out and run amok the minute a rampaging WN broke the seal around the pool? It just doesn't make much sense to do that if the fierce corpses residing within are already trapped there.

There's also the fact WWX uses the blood pool as well. Which makes me question this theory even more so. It goes against WWX's character and ethics to stop souls from reincarnating, when his very cultivation method involves empathy and 'spending' resentment so the entities can move on. Granted, WWX used the blood pool to nurture corpses resentment so he was able to harness it and direct it where required - in this case, I think it's most likely to replenish those guarding the base of the burial mounds and keeping the Wen remnants safe. In theory, the corpses residing there would eventually use up their resentment and their souls would move on. Hence the need for a supply of new fierce corpses he can utilise - which he helps move on in turn. I really don't think WWX would do such a thing if the blood pool was anything other than a collection of water that held strong resentment due to being contaminated by the many corpses already present in its depths. If anything, it's a similar situation to when he found the sword in the Xuanwu of Slaughter's stomach, which had been practically marinating in all the resentment of the beast's past victims.

Obviously the Wen remnants were unable to move on after being mercilessly slaughtered, but that is simply because they were denied a proper burial and unjustly murdered in what was a most violent, unprovoked attack. Once the blood corpses had spent their lingering resentment, saving the very people who had killed them and the man who tried so hard to protect them, they finally moved on and turned to ash - which WN promptly collected to ensure they could finally be put to rest respectfully, as they should have been long ago. I see no indication that they would not move on because they were left in the blood pool specifically.

Of course, the way the cultivators involved in the siege not only murdered innocent people, but then treated their victims corpses with such disgusting disrespect is utterly appalling. Even though there is no evidence that the blood pool acted as a type of supernatural prison of sorts, it does not subtract from what the cultivators did. They still made sure the Wen remnants could not rest in peace by their heartless actions regardless.

As for JCs involvement in the siege, it's not actually a rumour that he led the siege, he most certainly, unequivocally did. It's actually outright stated a few times in the novel. Even when WN mentioned as such, WWX did not correct him on that specific accusation. Later still JGY also mentions JCs involvement, right in front of the man in question no less, with no argument to the contrary. Finally, MXTX has also spoken about JCs involvement in leading the siege and confirmed he had indeed formulated a plan based on WWX's weaknesses, as the text suggests. He was very much the driving force of the whole thing, despite knowing the Wen remnants consisted of innocent people who were either weak, old, or a toddler. He is responsible for many people being brutally murdered and shows no remorse for it either - which speaks volumes about his character.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs novel #wen remnants #canon jiang cheng #burial mounds #anon ask #answered ask

53 notes · View notes

aobawilliams · 1 month ago

Note

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about? (for some reason tumblr isnt registering me pressing enter so you will just get. a paragraph) 🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing? 🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year? 💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

[Ask Game]

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?

🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?

Grouping these two together because,,, I honestly don't know. I can't really see myself writing for the Temeraire fandom, because it would involve a lot more research than I ever care for, but if I ever did it would probably involve either Fem Laurence or Trans Laurence and would involve sooooo much research (something about the idea of Trans Man Laurence, and how it can be seen as 'her' hiding 'she's' a 'woman' because obviously a woman cannot join the navy, but 'she' doesn't need to hide anymore since there are female captain in the corps! And how being a woman captain would be better perceive than being a transvestite, somehow, except that Laurence is more comfortable being a man than he's ever been as a woman.) Even beyond that my knowledge and interest in early 19th century england/the napoleonic wars is so low it's at the bottom of the sea.

🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?

The bar is low, but at this point I'm just hoping to get something written ✌️😔

I don't really have a specific project, yet, I think, though I did have a vague plotbunny for a one piece - temeraire fusion but it honestly hasn't gone anywhere yet. So less of a new project, but the plan is to at least finish some older stuff (the flowers have water I am looking at you), hopefully get out some one shot as well (Brook one shot i am glaring at you).

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

I've got a few, mostly One Piece projects, that I really want to see out someday!!

This actually led me stumbling through my writing notebook, and I found again some stuff that got me really excited.

Behold very very rough first draft of a Sabo never lost his memories and this turn into Impel Down/Marineford angst WIP.

"This must be some new kind of hell," Ace thought as he stared into a familiar face, who did not even dare to look at him. After all, why else would he ever imagine his brother, the one who died too young, as a perfectly healthy young man wearing a marine uniform. Sabo would never, and so this Sabo couldn't be real. The laugh started slow, and then suddenly Ace couldn't stop, gasping for breath, laughing and laughing and laughing as suddenly that familiar face, those familiar eyes looked at him, stared at him as if he was the one who wasn't real, and his laugh only got louder at the thought (as the jeer from other prisoners got louder) as the mere idea that this Sabo-who-was-a-marine-and-alive couldn't believe he was real. By the time Ace was able to stop, whether he was real or not, Sabo was long gone.

#cro answers #yellowo #ask game #sometimes i write #god answering that make me realise how little interest i've had for writing lately and this makes me so sad #why are words hard

5 notes · View notes

katyspersonal · 7 months ago

Text

Some more SOTE adventures! (Yes no work today)

1) I wasn't really sure what to do with myself for now since I prefer to meticulously explore corners of the map instead of going the 'straight road' (that's how I only got to Rellana later), so I went back to my sorry attempts to get down to that village-looking place down in Scadu Altus! And succeeded! Turned out it WAS the place that revealed more of Marika's backstory :') Bonny Vilage, where the potting is done!

(Also be careful if you are selling duplicates, it looks EXACTLY like Anastasia's butchering knife! Makes sense since both exist for the same purpose)

^ This weapon is found in a secluded building literally named Whipping Hut, also near the ghost that reveals the reasoning. I guess everyone and their dogs already got informed on the twist that the shamans stuffed in jars by Hornsent to become "divine" were Marika's village people, so I won't dwell on this. Also I assume the poison in question is that of giant scorpions since they're found in Belurat and close to this village? Old woman in Belurat also gives you scorpion stew if you speak with her wearing Lion Dancer's mask after reloading the area 🤔

2) There is shed snake skin in this place!!!

Really interesting 👀 It was also near a headless statue and I picked 'O, Mother' gesture from it

3) Cleaned the gaol associated with this area too! The boss was one of the "awful posture guys".. that turned out to be an awful posture girl x)

Yes, this boss interestingly was casting darkness all over the area, which is not something this type of enemy does! However, Lamenter also was using darkness if I remember correctly, and his mask says that the Hornsent were scared of this transformation and hid it away 🤔 This reminds me of those Omen Twins fought on the way to the Divine Tower of Morgott and Mohg, who were casting darkness. Basically I start to get a picture that there were things about Hornsent nature that even themselves were scared of! (Scared of the dark? Gwyn approves XDDDD) Just going to put a pin on that for later!

Also they better explain who the heck Labirith is later :/

4) More about this

Yes, I've finally finished grinding the full sets of both Horned Knights and Curseblades! Both sets include the bit about effects of the flasks lessening due to being nauseating! It is pretty clear by now that the Hornsent who currently exist don't know why Marika's people (her most loyal son more like) exterminated them, however their hatred and pain carries even onto their armors.

Have the Hornsent forgotten their history? But isn't the old woman in Belurat an Empyrean too? Would not she be old enough to remember why? Could the carried plot to butcher and """ascend""" the shamans have been not a common knowledge but only a doing of one like, cult within Hornsent? And yet the vengeance came for EVERYONE... Or Maybe Marika/Messmer never revealed who EXACTLY came after their kind for vengeance? Tea? (I'm gonna pick "cult" option for now.....)

5) SPEAKING OF OLD WOMEN,

I did not expect more Miriam info of all people!! @val-of-the-north you seeing this????Makes sense we found it in this building!

6) Yeeeeees I've met him when I went on another path from Bonny Village!

His hat resembles the statue we use to turn that Carian tower upside-down, where we fight Miriam again and in which we get to Ranni's quest secret place! And also unreal amount of wolves on the way to him and in his residence, who are carian symbol. So yeah this guy is 100% Carian!

7) He gave me a map and I'll need some time to figure out where the location is.. I could not use a simple map to save my life, just full topographic cretinism as usual!

8) This item is interesting though, as well as how his mansion is called Manus Metiyr! Manus means hand!

And there are giant fingerprints full of fingers on the overworld map, and those Fingercreepers, and Ranni's place had Cathedral of Manus Celes (celestial hand)...... things are starting to piece together 👀

9) Another mention-only character we will never see? :p Some engineer that created a gun that shoots magic!

That's it for now since I have to go.. But yes, now I am SUPER willing to know the deal with giant celestial fingers having once grabbed this land hfhgfhgh

#elden ring #elden ring dlc #sote spoilers #screenshots #gameplay log

16 notes · View notes

mrv3000 · 1 year ago

Text

I rewatched The Clone Wars and things I'd forgotten:

▪ Just how much Padme is pure chaos. She probably even has wacky adventures when she's not on screen. Padme has her own shit going on and sometimes she needs to steal speeder bikes, ok?

▪ It explicitly states that Jedi had been taking out slave traders. A common fandom complaint I see is that supposedly Jedi turned a blind eye to slavery in the galaxy. But the show literally has a slave trader bitching about how the Jedi had shut them down. So not so much a blind eye but rather doing what they can. (I did space math and there's like 1 Jedi for every population of over 1200 Earths. And that's even before the war took them away from what their usual role was.)

▪ Jedi have basically all-access galaxy passes. Even Padme, who's a frickin galactic senator, needed to use Ahsoka's credentials to sneak places. (Did I mention that Padme = chaos gremlin?)

▪ lol Maul you freak

▪ I'd forgotten it was actually Obi-Wan's idea to keep Anakin (as well as Ahsoka, Satine, Padme, etc.) in the dark about faking his death. Sometimes fandom likes to think that it was other mean Jedi (the Council) who forced Obi-Wan to do it, but nope it was Obi-Wan. (Yoda was even 😬 about it the whole time and finally was the one to tell Anakin the truth.) Without getting into a whole meta about the practicalities and necessities so on… Sorry, Obi-Wan, it was still a fairly shitty thing to do.

HOWEVER, it's after the fake death arc that we see more instances of the "two halves of a single warrior" like when Obi-Wan and Anakin jointly fight Dooku on the Pyke's planet. You'd think that we'd see more of a rift between them after the fake death mess, but instead they start to go hive mind. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

▪ I'd forgotten how the tone gets progressively darker as the show goes on. It obviously winds up dark because of Order 66, but you can see things spinning out of control much earlier, and you're starting to get a body count of important characters seasons before it.

▪ Did Palpatine orchestrate a Scipio invasion in order to deal with Anakin's relationship problems? I mean, yeah, he got control of the banks by doing that but…🤔

▪ Jar Jar and Mace buddy cop adventure. 😃

▪ I forgot that the Jedi Council actually discovered they'd been manipulated into fighting the war and the Sith had been playing both sides. But they felt they had no other option but to keep going and try to win it.

▪ I did remember that becoming a Force Ghost was a thing you had to do rather than an automatic Jedi Afterlife, but I didn't remember that it's sort of stated that the only reason Yoda (and presumably Obi-Wan) were granted this Force Ghost knowledge was because it was necessary to be there for Luke even if they died so he could be trained. In other words there apparently needed to be a Reason for Force Ghosting. So it's extremely hilarious that Obi-Wan bypasses all that in order to immediately Force Ghost Anakin when he dies. There's no purpose for Anakin to be a ghost other than Obi-Wan wanted him to be. 🤣 (And then later on Luke and Leia became Force Ghosts for…pretty much no reason, but there goes Obi-Wan again probably!)

▪ I didn't remember that Anakin messed with Ahsoka's lightsabers and turned them blue lol. And of course Ahsoka's reaction is 🙄

▪ Finally, I didn't forget this but I was just so amused that every time Anakin did something morally questionable the soundtrack started in with the Imperial March. 😆

#star wars #the clone wars

30 notes · View notes

silvyysthings · 2 years ago

Note

Sorry for the crazy rambling but i need to put it out somewhere (jsyk i don't even read your answers, probably very condescending).

News flash : Timmy went back once again to fucking Daniella. Things seem to be very chaotic between them and i think everytime they're back on, she criticizes him for not being invested enough and basically just wanting to fuck her.

Like, a few days ago when T posted the chanel pics they were back on (she liked some pics, none of Armie's friends did), then Ryan posted a meme about passive aggressiveness (aka "it's fine") and one about a "Deluxe model".

Then just 2-3 days later, things seemed to turn sour between T&D : jps posted "let us leave pretty women to men with no imagination" and "don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive". Tyler also reposted a video with someone saying "i love you but i release you (...)" with the caption "i would love to see this dude try this" (could be referring to T telling this to D, although to me he doesn't actually love her). Ryan posted a meme that made me laugh: "anyway if both my unions are on strike, and you see my feet on Onlyfans, no you didn't" (cause at the same time this is all happening, a&t are still in contact, but a doesn't wanna have his heart broken up again by t admitting to him that he's back with d).

Then we got jps posting about someone not doing what they're supposed to do by fear (in this context referring to Tim being honest and leaving D once for all) : "fear is incomplete knowledge" , "a man grows most tired by standing still" and " a day can really slip by when you're avoiding what you're supposed to do".

Now, one thing that really surprised me is that Stéphane seems to be pushing that relationship between D and T : Yesterday and the day before, he posted stories at the EXACT same time D made her posts (once, it could have been a coincidence, not twice), as in to show Timmy that he's on her side.

But finally, you wanna know what i believe happened (like yesterday)?

Timmy as the dumbfuck that he is, went back once again to her 💀

He obviously told Armie, who then told Ryan, hence his meme this morning of the american guy saying "no thanks" to a brain.

He also told jps who just posted : "the man who lies to himself can be more easily offedend that anyone" and "everybody said follow your heart, i did, it got broken".

So yeah, Timmy prefers to lie to himself and pretend to his friends that he loves this girl, than being honest and vulnerable and go back with his one true love.

Hi Daniella how was your weekend? Busy I saw and I fear you forgot to take your pills ... AGAIN!!!

One thing that I don't understand in all this delirium is : how the poor ryan can know what timmy does every time in real time ? 🤭🤔

Thank you, this is the better way to start the week , you never disappoint me🥴

#timothée chalamet #anon ask

43 notes · View notes

monsoon-of-art · 11 months ago

Note

Hello! :D I hope it's not too much!

💘 Dragonfly

💤 Hayday

😓 Clay

🤔 Shades/Alpha742

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them? - Dragonfly

The 'Hero' in her wants to say the City and the People that inhabit it. Of course, she loves her friends, and Clay is her best friend. Hayday is also an answer, she might be a bit pressed to admit that out loud.

💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits? - Hayday

I wanna say a light sleeper. He tosses and turns and needs complete silence, which is very rare in the city lmao

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge? - Clay

Clay is a weird mix of both. He loves learning new things about the world, and he's very inquisitive, but at the same time he's weirdly stubborn about things having nuance, or grey areas. (Bad guys are bad no matter what)

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Ahh, Shades. My bastard son. He's certainly a character. As for quirks, he has quite a bit. For starters, despite being able to consume food for energy, he often will not do so, choosing to recharge in his private chambers with electricity instead. In addition, he takes great pride in his fur, and will dedicate hours to meticulous grooming and care of it.

#myocs #ask meme #neon hero

16 notes · View notes

yourworsttotebag · 11 months ago

Note

There are so multiple fics I want to ask about, but... could you talk about Bliss Spores? Anything you like about it, really, but I was really interested in how you navigated perspective and consent!

thank you so much babes 💕

providing director's commentary on my fics!

I had to kind of poke at Bliss Spores for a while and write some things that didn't work to figure out what I ultimately wanted from it. I couldn't decide what the spores would do (make them turned on or just kind of loopy?), and there was a lot of purposeful distance between Evie and Gale because I was really overthinking what would upset Gale's orb (there is nothing I can't overthink).

Originally the plot was something like Gale being too nervous to be near Evie so he touches her with mage hand and then, well, Touches her with mage hand. At some point I think I tried Evie touching herself and Gale watching. And while I'm into both of those and would write them, something about combining them with sex pollen left me totally uninspired. It felt like making the spores into an afterthought? I couldn't get any words out until I made it more about them overcoming this emotional barrier together instead of "what are the specific mechanics of the orb?"

"How would sex pollen change Evie and Gale's boundaries?" and "Could Gale watch someone get off without exploding?" are interesting questions but they felt like different plays trying to perform on the same stage.

Sex pollen and other tropes like it are all about like surrendering right. The characters must feel pleasure so there's tension in their resistance to those feelings and then release in their giving in to them. And if there's anyone who has ever needed a reason to go with their base desires instead of getting trapped in whatever they have cooked up in their minds, it's these two jabronies.

As far as consent goes, I trusted than anyone choosing a sex pollen fic would kind of implicitly get the appeal I just described. I was fine with Evie and Gale saying to each other, "maybe this isn't how I would have chosen to be together but our whole lives are unideal right now. If you've been attracted to me before this, I'm pretty okay giving into those feelings with you right here." Now that I really think, it does reveal a lot about their characters that the thing that lets them both give into their feelings isn't really the spores at all but the knowledge that the other person cares about them.

Huh. I didn't really explicitly think about that until you asked. 🤔

#unnoticed subtext? in MY fics?#it's more likely than you think #m: asks #gale x evie

7 notes · View notes

trashlie · 2 years ago

Note

hiii hello 💗 i hope you're doing better and your trip was fun, relaxing, and revitalizing! first of all i'm glad @amuraas helped you see that quote, and that it resonated with you! @amuraas - thanks so much that was very kind of you <3

also omg thanks to @gstuffedanimal for their addition on dieter and nol! it's such an interesting and crucial observation and i think they described it perfectly!! the conscious observations vs the lack of awareness on shinae's side… it suddenly makes sense why it's always felt like a head vs heart kind of situation to me. her interactions with dieter are rooted in the knowledge what he likes her so what she does and feels reads more like it's intentional and a conscious choice (and that's not a bad thing! it's what can happen when someone confesses to you but you don't feel the same way about them, but you like them enough so you wanna give it a try and see if you might develop romantic feelings for them, it's understandable!) but yeah the contrast to nol is really striking. she's mostly unaware (or even in denial) of what's going on with her (hence the lack of internal processing -> no commentary/monologue) but that doesn't stop the feelings from coming to the surface. none of this is intentional, but that doesn't stop it from happening. it DOES feel like it's out of her control, out of nol's control too, because i'm 100% sure falling for shinae was the last thing he wanted to happen, but that didn't stop it from happening. what is there to say. the heart wants what it wants!

i'm saying this lovingly but shinae's actually so funny to me (and i'm taking fp 224 into account here) she's like "this guy showed up one day and was like a ray of sunshine in my rainy life and i feel this special connection and i'd do everything to show that i care and to make him feel loved and it devastates me that he can't open up to me no matter how much i try because i just wanna get through to him i wanna help him like he helped me i wanna see the real him also he's making me blush and my heart race and i can't hold his gaze. i wonder what is this feeling 🤔" LMAO. and nol is even funnier because he's like "i'm the master of lies and manipulation 😎" and then he thinks about shinae for 0.5 seconds and immediately turns into a tomato. hilarious. dieter knows, nana is suspecting it, by the end of the day half the hospital will know. boy stand up!!!!! get yourself together!!! and if you're gonna continue making moves, at least put on some pants and brush your teeth first! fgdhsjk sorry i just need to joke about it to cope because otherwise i'll cry… i feel so bad for dieter 😭 watching the girl you like and your best friend/wingman fall for each other, being designated the emotional support friend role when you had hope you could be more… that really sucks :( his wistful expression… pain 💔 but see, that's what happens when you're a blond blue-eyed man. you don't stand a chance against your more charismatic more confident older taller hotter orange friend. FDHGSDFJK that was really mean i'm SO SORRY 😭😭😭 sowwy dieter luv u dieter it'll take time but you'll be fine you're quim's favorite i'm pretty sure she'll give you a happy ending <3

i also really love what gstuffedanimal and you both said about dieter being safe and nol taking her to these emotional highs and lows. it makes me wonder how shinae feels. we know that to nol, shinae's presence is peaceful calm and comforting. we also know that shinae found a lot of safety and comfort in her friendship with yeonggi (especially during and after the formal). but this version of nol (mostly unintentionally) makes her go through a lot. he's also much more intense and bold than dieter, who she considers a calm and peaceful presence. and i still believe nol definitely has the potential to be a safe and calm place for her if he's honest and opens up to her and they can be more on even ground, but as of now, that doesn't really seem to be the case… and i just wonder where that leaves her.

and thank you for your summary on yu jing!! yeah it's crazy how much these past couple of episodes have revealed. and in hindsight it's obvious that if yu jing is working on a story for years, it's much bigger than yui and the hiraharas. we're still missing a couple of important puzzle pieces fit into this but ahhh the plot is thickening!

re: nol and yu jing, tbh i wouldn't be surprised if yu jing informed nol or at least dropped some hints "off camera" (maybe when they met at that diner). he must know she's working on something, why else give her the yearbook? i mean mayyybe it was a complete shot in the dark that just happened to hit bullseye but that feels flimsy. but regardless, it's interesting that the yearbook is in the middle of yu jing's table. it really feels like it's a central in all this? we just don't know how yet. i think you're onto something with the cho's. nol probably immediately understood what happened when shinae said no one was held accountable. i also wondered if yu jing would try to get information about yui from alyssa/potentially get her on their side? then again blackmail isn't yu jing's style, is it? :/

what you said about alyssa… i wouldn't be surprised if something like that happened, given how dark the story has been getting :// maybe i'm giving alyssa too much credit but it's kinda hard for me to believe that she would idolize yui like she does if yui gave her the message that she basically has to sleep her way to the top… wouldn't that imply that her connection with yui isn't enough? and would alyssa still stick with yui if she knew that yui has been enabling sa and helping men get away with it? is she really that far gone? or would yui blackmail alyssa to stay at her side by threatening to ruin her career? but then again, is alyssa that important? idk i guess… we'll have to wait and see.

this is too long again oh well. much to talk about. mwah take care! - lil anon 😼💗

Ooohhh, as usual, I get a lot to dig into when it comes to your asks! <3 So excited about this one, and I definitely laughed out loud really hard at your descriptions of Shinae and Nol because alfjkkjafjkafjkaf SPOT ON LMAO they are a MESS and I love them but my god they are gonna be so embarrassed after a while LMAO (Also i, too, cannot stop thinking about the fact that Nol is just like. Naked under that gown and just acting like it's a normal ol' day MY GUY PUT UR PANTS ON OR SOMETHING PLS the whole of their dance was so funny when you consider that aspect ;_____; LMAO)

As usual, a cut for the 224 spoilers!

I'm not sure if you're in quimchee's patreon but (and I posted this in my 224 commentary as well!) she mentioned this song has been on repeat while working on the episode and ;____; All of the Dieter feels! I DO console myself by knowing that as quimchee's favorite, he will surely get a good ending. As much as what he's going through hurts right now, crushes are a lot easier to get over with the passage of time. Something I've started to think about re: him and Shinae is really in line with what you and @gstuffedanimal have continued touching on and that sense of safety. Dieter admits he fell for Shinae because she was nice to him with no obligation to be. They weren't friends, she was just someone tougher and bolder than him, and it gave him a chance to see through the walls she put up. Someone so shy and internal like Dieter benefits from having friends who are the opposite around (like Yeonggi). Much like Shinae describes Yeonggi, Dieter described her as a ray of sunshine.

I mention this because, unlike Nol and Shinae, as far as we know, Dieter doesn't have a LOT of trauma when it comes to opening up. In his case, it's more that he's such a shy person who has moved around a lot and in moving, you lose a lot of those contacts and it becomes harder and harder to open up knowing the inevitable will eventually come. This is why I feel so hopeful for Dieter. In time, this wound will heal, in time he will meet people who will see in him what Shinae has seen, and what his friends do, too. In time, he will meet someone who will like him as much as he's liked Shinae. But of course, that means time, and he isn't in that place just yet, so boy do I feel for him. I know you posed it as a joke lol but there's definitely some truth to it - Dieter has sized himself up against Yeonggi and saw their differences, how Yeonggi possessed an ease about him, a way to not only reaching out to people but getting through to them. He doesn't necessarily draw attention to himself, because in so many instances he tries to minimize himself and shrink himself away, but those who get close to him get to see it: Yeonggi was such a radiant person.

And I think more than that, what Dieter witnessed was NOT Shinae and Yeonggi, but Shinae and Nol, and how it feels somehow even more tender and intimate, and thus hurtful to see. When you consider who Dieter knew Yeonggi as - this goofy, funny, bright kid - compared to this glimpse into Nol, so serious and intense, I think it makes it painfully more clear. Because it's not that Shinae likes Yeonggi - it's that she likes the entirety of him, whoever he might be. She likes him as a bright, radiant buoy as much as she likes him as an intense, serious storm, and I think that hurts even more. It would be easier to digest if it was just the facade that she liked - maybe those feelings would disappear. But also, in that same manner, seeing it from Nol as well. Nol, who keeps his distance even as Yeonggi; Nol, who played wingman to Dieter even without Dieter asking; Nol, a friend he cares so much about and the girl he likes so much. ;~;

I'm so sorry Dieter, I wish there was a better way for you to find out ;_____; I wish there was a less painful way.

But, at the same time, it's better now than later. Better now than if his hopes continued to grow. Better now than if he'd ever made up his mind to ask her out again. ;~; But still aaahhhhhh.

I had a point and I think I lost it lmao ;~;

Anyway, yeah, I think that's what makes it hurt even more - is that Dieter can understand why Shinae would fall for Nol, because he loves him, too, and thus he understands what she sees. But also LMAO akjlfkafjafj I know some people theorize that Soushi had a crush on Alyssa (he noted that she's cute when they first saw her alone, but finding someone cute doesn't necessarily equate to a crush) and if it were true, this would make the second time Nol has sort of "stolen" someone aljfkkafjkaf lmaoooo (I hate the concept of "stealing" a person but. You know what I mean lmao) God bless.

and i still believe nol definitely has the potential to be a safe and calm place for her if he's honest and opens up to her and they can be more on even ground, but as of now, that doesn't really seem to be the case… and i just wonder where that leaves her.

I think this is especially so when we consider the difference in how she was thinking/speaking in 223 vs 224, and even if we look at 152 as well as 178 and 179. I think these demonstrate REALLY well those highs and lows Nol takes her to. One moment she's being rather soft (for her) and sentimental, the next she's trying to be tough and retreat into her shell. She doesn't know what to make of him or her feelings about him, and I think it's safe for us to assume how big her feelings are, and that because of their enormity she can't get herself around them, so she oscillates between these extremes. She is also a fish out of water in this way lol - she has no experience at REALLY liking a person and what you do with those feelings so they're just sitting there, festering, making her feel weird. She puts up her guard but she'll just as quickly let it back down if she worries he might slip away. She lets these sentimental moments leak out, little confessions about how much she cares, but she fails to process her feelings authentically. Yes, she knows she's upset and hurt. Yes, she acknowledges it's because she cares about him and that caring alone isn't enough. But she still can't see the forest for the trees - she's so hung up on caring about him and how it keeps blowing back and hurting her that she's yet to realize the enormity of that care, and why it affects her so much worse than, say, Dieter.

To Nol she is calm and peace, but to Shinae, he's currently a raging sea. But I think that's only a part of it, because we've often seen Shinae reach out to Nol when she feels unmoored. That time she lol stalked him at work? The night she'd called him because she saw what they were saying on tv about him, and he ended up being a sense of calm for her in their own little bubble. Like you, I think there's a lot of potential for Nol to be that kind of safe harbor to her that she's been to him, but he's still so volatile, his life too tumultuous for that. She was so scared when Yujing and Rand drove away with him, and she stayed by his side even until she'd fallen asleep waiting for him to wake, and though she was full of concern, once he had, it WAS a really peaceful moment for them. We saw those echoes of her friendship with Yeonggi, how easily they fall back into that easy, comfortable relationship. It's just that.... yeah. Nol HIMSELF has to become peaceful - or, rather, CAPABLE of peace - because as long as is a turbulent body of sea, Shinae can't have peace with him.

I also think it's not that he has to change a lot TO be that presence for her. Like you said, he just has to be honest. He has to be able to let her see those raw parts of himself that scare him, that he loathes so much. He doesn't have to tell her everything immediately; I think it's more that he needs to be upfront about his fears. Admit that there are parts of him that he isn't ready to show, apologize for it. She can't see into his brain, so he needs to help her understand, and that's really all it takes. A little bit of effort and honesty. When he apologized to the space where she'd once stood, it felt so frustrating, because sure it wouldn't completely ease her feelings, but it's better than telling her he doesn't want to open his eyes, that he's okay missing out on the moment they're sharing, better than putting everyone else ahead of his needs.

But now that we're thinking about it, I do find it a little funny how Shinae represents that sense of safety and security for Nol, while he just keeps taking her on this wild ride lol. That's the very thing she didn't want in her life, lmao. If anything, I think that's a testament to Shinae's feelings, though - Nol represents everything she's tried to avoid, and she still can't help but be drawn to him, still can't help but want to do for him what he did for her. I love her ;~;

he must know she's working on something, why else give her the yearbook? i mean mayyybe it was a complete shot in the dark that just happened to hit bullseye but that feels flimsy.

I guess it wouldn't be the first time that something has happened "off screen" and was shown to us later - the whole of Nolyssa's conversation at the hospital wasn't really shown to us until episode 132 - a whole 66 episodes after we saw the first part of it! lmao So if it turns out that Yujing has informed Nol and we never saw it but it will be revealed later... then I guess I won't be TOO surprised lol. Because I agree - it seems like way too lucky a shot in the dark. It seems way to convenient if Nol didn't already have any inkling.

Frankly, I get the idea that Yujing may not be entirely sure what to do with the yearbook, either. It doesn't seem immediately evident to her, or else it would be opened up, right? Perhaps just as it is for us, it's just a clue to a bigger story she's yet to uncover?

I am SO glad you bring up Alyssa, though, because I have THOUGHTS about her! So many!!!!! (I don't think this surprises ANYONE, though lmao)

For most of the her appearance, we've been able to deduce that Alyssa admires Yui. She says so herself. But in the way that things aren't always what they appear, I think the more we learn about Alyssa, and the story itself, the more we start to see that there's more to it than we think.

I do think from the get go Alyssa WAS enamored with Yui. She is strong, independent, beautiful, wealthy, and powerful. Yui is everything Alyssa wishes to be. There's a lot I could get into about why Alyssa covets this (her family life like her mom's relationship with her dad, the possibility of her being queer and thus needing to be powerful) but I'll try not to get too deep into that. The point is: Alyssa covets power/influence and admiration, and on the surface, Yui exemplifies that.

In the same way as with Kousuke, I think Alyssa is inherently drawn to what she wishes she was, to what she covets. She wants to live a life where she doesn't have to worry about fitting in, or hiding a part of herself, or shoving down the real parts of herself in order to attain admiration. I do strongly think that the likelihood of Alyssa liking girls is a part of why she wants to fit in and be loved, but that's a whole other point. What matters is that Alyssa seeks out people who have what she wants.

We know that at least in middle school, Alyssa's dislike for pop music bordered on disdain. But we also saw in middle school that Alyssa learned you have to follow the herd if you want to fit in, and that girls admire those who are trainees.

What began as a ticket to making her dreams come true, though, seems to have become a nightmare.

(sorry for the Yui jumpscare)

Now, we can't take everything at face value, and Yui is clearly trying to get a rise out of Nol, to make him believe that Alyssa's lyrics about being trapped in a bad relationship are about him. But the as the song goes on, the focus pulls back to reveal a fuller image of Yui, with the lyrics "All these red hues keep me locked in place", "thousand pound shackles wrapped round my ankles".

As discussed with @bittrbuttr there ARE multiple ways to read these lyrics post-flashback - and frankly, I think it's possible for both to be true. Theorizing that Alyssa likes girls and hides this as a secret she can't let anyone know, this could be the shackles that hold her in place. But all these red hues? Unlike the black and white formal, we don't have a red and gold = a different team theme at the Christmas party, but still, it's pointed enough that the lyric applies to Yui, given that the focus pans out to give a longer, lingering look at her - dressed in red.

Again, we know that Alyssa doesn't really love pop music. I think to her, this was just a stepping stone to what she ultimately wants. It's possible that maybe she never even wanted to ACTUALLY debut - that she just wanted the glamor of being a trainee, with the hopes that it would give her that instant love and attention she covets.

There's a lot of implication from her group mates that Alyssa isn't around as much - missing practices, maybe? Implying that if she wasn't so busy talking to other people, she wouldn't do so bad on stage. Of course, we have to take this with a grain of salt - there's a clear rivalry between Alyssa and at least Sumin, and given the circumstances, it's not hard to imagine why. I guess Sumin and the others trained a lot longer than Alyssa, she was a last-minute addition to debut with them, and they know she got the leg up from the Hiraharas. With how hard they've worked, having Alyssa join and be a face of the group would be a huge sleight to anyone. But if it's true that Alyssa doesn't practice as hard as them... well, couldn't it be that this isn't REALLY what she wants? She's stuck in a role that she doesn't enjoy, had hoped it would fast-track her to her goals, but she's learned that the love she receives from her fans isn't unconditional. As an idol, she's expected to perform for them at any time, even on her downtime, and rather than let Nol defend her right to privacy, she gave in to fans invading her privacy to take the photos she told them she wasn't supposed to take.

But what does that have to do with Yui? After all, Yui merely gave Alyssa the opportunity, right? She fast-tracked Alyssa's career, but Alyssa (and her family) are the ones who agreed to it. Perhaps her lyrics are just about the trap that is her career, about the choice she made that makes her feel like she's pinned in place.

But I do think there's more to it, whether it involves the darker side of sponsorship or even what might ride on the line. If Shinae is trapped in her contract with no way out, who is to say it's not the same for Alyssa? Firstly, as it is, a lot of kpop groups are locked into 7 or 10 year contracts (depending on trainee time) and breaking that contract will not only be costly in terms of money, but also in whether or not they can even remain in the industry. But I get the feeling it's about more than that for Alyssa - whether it has to do with financials or something else, I feel like there's a lot at risk if Alyssa tries to escape.

This episode is the most-referenced reasoning behind Alyssa's admiration of Yui, but something really important to note is that when Alyssa speaks of what a charitable woman Yui is, she's closed her eyes. Alyssa is one of the more dishonest characters in ILY - she is dishonest with herself, with her friends, with her family. She has a lot to hide or repress. And with what we know about her personality, it makes her deceit in this moment even more intriguing.

I think Alyssa DOES covet those aspects of Yui - that she is strong and beautiful, independent, that she is a separate entity from her husband. But that seems to be the only honest thing Alyssa says, leading in to her desire to be part of a power couple.

When she calls Yui charitable, her eyes are closed. One would think that seeing Yui continue to just hand out jobs to people would support the idea that it truly is charity. But if Alyssa has started to see Yui for who she is, started to get a glimpse at the monster that lies under the mask, maybe she knows all too well it's not charity, but rather a trap.

I've also considered that maybe hearing how Yui gave Shinae a job makes Alyssa feel uncomfortable in the face of her own "charity" - the connotation that she didn't work for or earn this role is not lost when we know how her groupmates regard her, and such a public declaration of Shinae being given a job might make her feel all too aware of the fact that she hasn't earned her own job. And maybe that is part of it, too!

But I think it also has a lot to do with realizing, belatedly, that it's a trap. And I think there's a possibility that Alyssa might feel concern for Shinae, since she knows firsthand what a trap it is.

The thing about the closed eyes is that it's a mask, right? It's hiding something or being dishonest. Alyssa admits she wants to be just like Yui, which surprises Nol, because Yui is someone he detests, he can see the monster for who she is. But because of Alyssa's mask, I don't think we should take it completely at face value. There are things about Yui Alyssa admires, but it doesn't mean she wants to be just like Yui, I think. She wants to adopt aspects of her, but I think Alyssa is more aware of who Yui really is than Nol has yet realized. It's just that Alyssa has to continue to play her role, lest she lose everything she's got. Perhaps there's a subtle threat implied in her career. After all, Yui doesn't give anything for free.

Maybe it isn't as nefarious. Maybe it is like you said - Yui "teaching" Alyssa that to get what she wants she has to do uncomfortable things, sleep her way to the top, get chummy with the people who can make or break her. Maybe that IS the disillusionment, the realization that this career isn't what she had wanted, that there's an insidious underbelly to this industry, and that Yui did not thing to protect her. It seems to be very in line with how Yui operates, too - she doesn't like to get her hands dirty, she twists honesty in a way that can't be used against her. "I never TOLD you to sleep with anyone, Alyssa". Just implied it, just invoked the nature of this industry.

But I strongly feel like Alyssa doesn't quite admire Yui the way she once did, that she sees something else in her that she has no one to confide in about it. And consider how long it's been since Nol last saw Alyssa, and how their text conversations have gone nowhere. How is he to have any indication that Alyssa doesn't mean what she says, that she's just speaking to save face? For him, it's personal ire to hear Alyssa applaud the woman he detests so much. How much have they ever talked about Yui, anyway? Nol says he tried to steer her away, but I'm curious what kind of efforts he made. One of his points in his argument with Alyssa is that she knows his family doesn't see him, that they make him feel invisible. But does she have any awareness of just how abhorrent Yui has been to Nol? Again, so much of what she does is hard to trace back to her, hard to contritely say "yes, Yui abused him".

It's likely that Alyssa says what she does because she thinks she needs to, because she needs to save face in front of him, and that Nol doesn't know otherwise because he and Alyssa aren't close (anymore) and he doesn't know her well enough. He's so used to people praising Yui, he already knows that at one point in time Alyssa idolized her. Why would he think anything has changed, ESPECIALLY now that Alyssa has her career?

So to steer back to your point, I DO think it's very likely that Alyssa is being blackmailed, or at least that there's a bigger threat if she tries to back out. Yui made her and she can unmake her - and it's possible that unmaking her could be even worse. What could she do to Alyssa's family, if she as to rebel? Isn't it so easy to just see it from the view of someone unrelated - that Yui took this girl "off the streets" and gave her such an incredible opportunity, and she went and threw it in Yui's face? It would be SO EASY to make Alyssa the villain.

And I do wonder if there's something to latch on to, between the yearbook and Alyssa and Yui, but I'm not sure if there's more we should be seeing from it. Maybe there's more that Yujing has to yet uncover, but I do feel like there's a good chance that it's not so much that Alyssa is that far gone, as much as she's trapped. As to what her importance is...? On the one hand, Yui still uses her to get a rise out of Nol - the fact that she tried to make Nol believe the song is about him stands to prove that. But we've also seen Yui draw a curious connection between Alyssa and Kousuke that I still puzzle over.

This moment ALWAYS stands out to me as so odd. She uses it to segue into giving Shinae a job, but I can't help but feel like it has more of a purpose? Idk. It's not that I think Kousuke has any interest in Alyssa in that way (though I still feel like there's some curious oddities happening between them lol) but it almost feels like Yui is trying to use Alyssa on Kousuke? Idk idk. This isn't the post for that. The point is: at the end of the day, does Alyssa need to be very important for Yui? She seems to so enjoy peoples' misery and running them into the ground that Alyssa could simply be just another desperate girl she's enjoyed making a mess of. Idk. Yui is... difficult to read lol.

Also don't worry about your other ask! I wanted to save that for a separate one since I knew this would get very long anyway lmao

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Lil Anon #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Dieter Becker-Wulff #Yui Hirahara #Alyssa Cho #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shieter #i promise ONE DAY i will finally write my post about Alyssa lmao #ONE DAY i will talk about her sexuality in relation to her need to fit in #and how much do we want to bet Yui might even know and uses it to blackmail/threaten Alyssa?#that's a detail i didn't even think of until now but god it makes me feel ill to think about #but i feel VERY CERTAIN that Alyssa's belief that fitting in equates to security has everything to do with needing to 'seem normal'#(in that people have made her/other queer folks feel bad about who they are/who they love)#but again THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER POST I PROMISE IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!#i was enthusing so much about it again today lmao #ILY Ask #Yujing

15 notes · View notes