#how did this one get so long wtf ??
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beeduoo · 7 months ago
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Welcome to the “they’re just like me fr (derogatory)” club featuring no color because I would rather die than draw Sif with color
#keese draws#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#jackie stern#oxygen not included#ignore how I made sif look comically tiny I didn’t mean to even if I’m right#also the (derogatory) mostly applies to just jackie but sif made me remember I have hashtag issues so he gets a lil too#I do deeply adore both of them I just like jackie more because she’s a terrible person#which in turn means I bully her harder#I wish I could imagine fun interactions between sif and her or olivia but alas I don’t think it’d be very interesting#jackie would not be interested in talking to sif and olivia as much as I love her isn’t a very interesting conversationalist lol#I’d still enjoy watching her and sif interact but I feel like sif would get kinda overwhelmed by her technical questions#same with jackie if she actually did talk to them but I think she’d be more keen to seek the scientists of their world#and then she’s like this time craft needing immense power thing is bullshit I did it and it generates infinite power all by itself#and then she blows up this planet too to prove her point or smth#but yeah there’s smth deeply wrong with these guys I think they should die horrifically over and over again#but alas that only happens to one of them 😔#I’d love to put jackie in a timeloop she’d actually probably be actively happy for the first maybe few months but once she starts to crack#she’d just spiral soooo bad and shes absolutely incapable of self reflecting so her ass is not escaping#rly the most interesting question of looping jackie to me is how long would it take her to even for a second think she might have done a#single thing wrong in her life lol#sif vc aw shit I just messed smth small up time to have a breakdown over it#jackie vc wtf why did the earth blow up this must be dr.techna’s fault
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zandrawz · 28 days ago
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Finally watched Kung Fu Panda 4, tell me why it unironically changed my life
#I've never seen four movies work so well together#po's DADS#subliminal messaging about generational trauma but it's okay because it's a positive message#yes so interesting how po actually does have a lot in common with his enemies but he always chooses peace and understanding#crazy how some empathy goes a long way#the chameleon fr built her own empire so she could have stairs that were a good proportion for her size like#notice how the rabbits are treated in the movie and it will all make sense#except for those creepy ass happy tree friends bunnies what was up with that#they were hilarious though don't get me wrong#TAI LUNG'S CHARACTER ARC#i luv tai lung sm#i thought they were only going to have the shapeshifted version of him in the movie and it would be a cop out but omg i was mistaken#he actually came back and took accountability and actually complimented po and understood what it actually means to be a dragon warrior#then when he took the chameleon into the spirit realm he was doing what was done to him because he understood the chameleon but also po#also all of zhen's parallels to po it was so cool to see how someone who was not as soft and open minded could also be the dragon warrior#WTF MR BEAST WAS IN THIS MOVIE#But he played the panda pig that was being assessed on being a potential dragon warrior#aka blantantly impersonating someone who's seen as a good person for clout#also idk if the character being a pig has anything to do with it maybe a subtle gesture but obviously there are lots of pig villagers#i dont like mr beast and idk i just feel like there's a deeper reason why he's listed in the cast when he maybe had one line#did he pay to be in this movie...did he like know what the character would be#am i looking too much into it help#also also since you've read this far okay hear me out bryan cranston was in this movie right#hes also walter white#so he has huge range as an actor in that sense#you know who else has range#joaquin phoenix#he played joker and kenai in brother bear#YEAH BROTHER BEAR IKR#but like...brother bear. breaking bad! idk i just feel like there's a connection there why so many b's and why am i obsessing over this help
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todayisafridaynight · 2 months ago
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Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.
i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon
#snap chats#no smarmy one-sentence response i fear i never play about my dad's character and its been. A Month so i gotta be earnest#Comically And Topically tho i still wonder wtf my dad meant when he said 'i always thought of being a girl' when i opened up to him#part of me thinks he was just joking and thats probably it but also ....... //audible confusion + vine boom + eyebrow quirking//#its so funny you brought up my dad though i was thinking of visiting him this weekend#last week my Bitch Ass Mom wanted to watch a movie with me and since speak no evil was coming out i proposed we see that#since starting therapy shes been 'trying' to be closer with us but she still doesnt like me on a fundamental level so get bent ig#but she hates horror movies and made a whole show of not wanting to go and how american movies are so brutal and blah blah#this was right after she took me ice skating with her .. cause shes obsessed with ice skating now ... like maam please#i like skating so thank you but ... idk ... she never wants to do things i wanna do#then again we're pretty different i think so. LOL sorry i like horror movies and nothing you like apparently#im glad she didnt come cause i just went with my bro and since the theater was Virtually Empty we just cracked jokes the whole time vjlaekv#plus i just know my mom wouldve been annoying and i wanted to enjoy the movie !!!! which i did ty !!!!!!!#but yk who LOVES horror movies and who i used to watch horror movies with all the time growin up !!!!!!!!!!#i havent seen a movie with my dad in forever.... the last one we saw was so long ago but it was some weird owen wilson movie i think#wait now that ive dragged my mom into this she started therapy Did I Share That. Im Reminding You Anyway#but the most vile thing i ever heard her say was that she admitted to me she never loved my dad 'emotionally'#like wow ..... a thousand life times in hell for you i think i cant even begin to describe the rage chat i could write a novel#but i only have 30 tags so i wont. i should call my dad tho.. this is inspiring me to call my dad thank you anon#if youre still reading Double Thank You. i havent complained about my mom in a while and this was just funny timing overall vjRLKJAEVK#ok im gonna go talk with my dad now. my college friend's coming oevr in like three hours and we're gonna watch glass#cause that came up in convo yesterday Long Story so that should be funny vjlekjlakj
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triglycercule · 3 months ago
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i want to headcanon the mtt having absolutely terrible hygiene and struggling to keep themselves clean (this MAY... just QUITE POSSIBLY.... only in the SLIGHTEST bit be projection) but i think it would be too gross and man EVEN I dont wanna think about that
also killer canonically smells good and i actually really LIKE that idea so oh shit there goes that idea out the window. horror and dust youre my only hope please let me make you smell bad for reasons you won't understand
#also i dont think i. just got a sense of dejavu wtf. anyways#i dont think im THAT bad at maintaining my hygiene..... like i dont bed rot for months which isn't good by any means#but if i havent reached that point of bad hygieneness then i dont think i should be talking about this topic#sure i may uhhh may struggle to brush my teeth and shower multiple times a week but like. ngl it's not that bad#i am NORMAL okay THIS IS NORMAL. people struggle with this stuff all the time everyday i dont need to be making a whole post on this topic#i wish that the capital i in this app looked different. because when i wanna emphasize I it just looks normal#i type like how i speak has it not become glaringly obvious yet. so it boggles and bothers me when i cant emphasize i like i can irl#the laundry piles in dusts room are probably unfathomably tall he just throws it all into one corner (HES JUST LIKE ME FR!!! I DO TJIS!!!!!)#all the water in horrortale has turned toxic and polluted and bad so horror's only option is to not shower or shower in dirty water#he chooses the former because what if that water has monster dust sprinkled in it. his paranoia wont let him shower in dust infused water#TRIGLYCERCULE GET YOUR FUCKING LIFE TOGETHER INSTEAD OF THINKING AND PROJECTING ONTO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. SCHOOL STARTS IN 3 DAYS.#I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY.... IM SORRY OKAY I KNOW!!! I KNOW THIS IS BAD!!! I WILL TRY!!!!!!#anyways back to projecting. do you think dust has sheets on his little matress bed#because the sheets will enevitably get dusty and then he's gonna have to lay on the dust of those he killed and thats a bad thought#sheets can fix the problem temporarily because he can just change them out and wash them#but also.... changing sheet hard.... take long time..... dust just want sleep.... rot away..... so no sheet on matress??? idk#dust might be able to make fun of horror and killer for having food issues but#killer gets to make fun of dust and horror for having hygiene issues#he's had his lows but he's never gotten THAT low 🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵 LOSERS!!!!!#what does horror get to make fun of them for??? idk murder#killer might be able to keep himself clean but he cannot keep anything else around him clean with thet goddamn eye goop so HAH take that#me on my way to overshare with strangers on the internet. this isnt that bad compared to other stuff ive seen online actually#triglycercule can you just shut the fuck up and get back to posting about the mtt nobody CARES#alright..... limps away like a kicked and beated puppy...... like killer after getting abused by nightmare for the 56th time..........#advanced humor only utmv fans will get it#tricule rant#i said i wasnt gonna make the post but i did infact make the post. just in tags#me when i LIE#just offically reached 50 drafts where my medal. i should clear them out? alright shoot that guy
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months ago
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...
#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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orchideae · 1 year ago
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CECILIA CARA IS THE ONE THEY GOT TO SING THE FRENCH SONG AT THE END OF FURINA'S QUEST??? MY YOUNG TEENS ARE SMACKING ME, WHAT IS THIS.
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jenevawashere · 7 months ago
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I took a personal day to try and get normal life stuff done. I got the first thing on my list done before lunch. The rest of the stuff wasn't done until after dinner. THERE WERE ONLY THREE THINGS ON MY TO DO LIST!!!
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astro-inthestars · 2 years ago
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YOOOOOOO WE FUCKIN DID IT!!!! YEAHHH!! We slayed SOOO well!! EVERYONE DID!! The other sections were SO FUCKING GOOD i LOVED it!!! And like, we won first place or whatever i didnt care about that really BUT WE ALL DID GREAT!
Anyways, just got home from my pal's birthday party (more like Hang Out at the mall, we ate out) it was AWESOME! First time inside a Starbucks, and first order ALL ON MY OWN! (HELL YEAH RELIGIOUS REBELLION!!)
#rennikorambles#i dont actually KNOW if its rebellion since. i ordered java chip frappucino... and i dunno if that has coffee or anythin-#BUT EITHER WAY im so glad my first time inside a starbucks is with friends <333#i lost ALL my money <33333#worth it#i was SO jumpy and excited the whole damn time. just shows how hyped i am around my friends <3 i love those idiots so much#after eating at pizza hut we went to an arcade and I got TWO keychain plushies from the claw machines (SLAY)#one of them i gave as a bday gift to my pal LMAO the other i kept <33 a little wolfy!!!#and then after that they went to starbucks and YEAHHH it was so fun#and then we went to the department store and immediately went to the toy section (which includes games like video games on the ps4/5 etc)#those idiots got One Piece playing cards. nerdddss <33 (me staring longingly at Persona 5 Royal on PS4 for a discounted price. help)#(I CANT GET IT IM NOT A GAMER IM BAD AT GAMES AND AND)#anyways#as for the musical MAN im just so proud. in my opinion the other's did WAY better than our section in terms of song and choreography#but the only one-up we had on them was the fact ours flowed so smoothly with nearly no mistakes#they kept having long pauses when transitioning to the next scene‚ whilst we specifically focused and practiced smooth transitions#thats probably why we had less time for dance choreo and stuff... but either way!!! just SO proud it made my theater heart so happy#and! i learned something about the actual story of El Fili! mAN ITS SO TRAGIC WTF MAN.... MANNNNNN. BRUH...#anyway <333 ALIVE NOW!!! FREE!!!
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chvrrycola · 2 years ago
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1920S! AU x KIM DONGYOUNG
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you wish you could say you were used to being treated like dirt by your colleagues, but for some reason it still managed to surprise you. everyday you went into the office hoping that today might be the day that they stopped treating you like the new kid, and everyday you were disappointed. 
it ranged from ‘accidentally’ spilling coffee to the documents you were working on, to complaining that your conduct was inappropriate, to not-so-secretly insulting you behind your back. 
you were close to confronting your boss about it, but you had no confidence whatsoever that he would side with you, an intern, over some of his most loyal, most profitable employees. you’d be out of the door the second you tried to say a word against any of them. 
so you’d just try to sit tight, hoping they’d leave you alone eventually, and that you wouldn’t do anything to encourage their treatment of you to get any worse. 
the feeling of dread hit you the second you saw a note from your boss on your desk. you had just gotten into work for the day, feeling flustered by the lateness of your train and trying to avoid people’s eyes. 
there were two possibilities, and you couldn’t decide which you liked less. 
number one, it was a prank. someone else had written the note and assumed you would go to see your boss anyway, fearing retribution if you didn’t, leaving you to burst in embarrassed and be scolded for wasting his time. 
or number two, they had finally said something to him and he wanted to see you in his office so that he could fire you. 
you straightened out your shirt, standing up just as you saw your boss’s head emerge from his office. his eyes caught yours immediately, and you were surprised to  see a soft smile play on his lips as he nodded to acknowledge you. 
leaving your desk, you made your way over to him, shuffling into his office as he held the door open for you. it clicked softly as he pushed it shut, waving a hand to invite you to sit as he pulled out his own chair behind his desk, kim dongyoung glittering on the plaque in front of him. 
he cleared his throat.
‘it’s been brought to my attention, unfortunately, that you have been receiving some trouble from some of my other employees.’ 
your gaze fell to the floor, hoping he didn’t think you were weak and not worth your position. 
‘is this true, y/n?’ his words demanded eye contact, albeit gently, and you looked up to see concern swimming in his irises. you nodded. 
‘you’ve done some excellent work for us here already, y/n. i hope they’ve not been making you feel as though you’re not an asset to the company. i value the workers that value their work, i need them working at their best to keep the company at its best. and i wanted to ask whether you think a promotion might convince them to keep their mouths shut about your qualifications and your value here?’
as if to punctuate the offer, he drew a contract from one of the drawers of his desk and placed it on the table in front of him, drawing you forward to scan the small print. 
‘there’s no need to decide today, but i just wanted to put it in your mind. it’s important that they see you’re staying, y/n, if you’re not too sick of them of course, which i’d understand.’
you took that as your cue to leave, taking the contract from his hand as you turned, only to realise he was following you to the door. 
‘it really would be a shame to lose you, y/n, let me know if there’s anything in the contract you’d like changed, we can work something out.’ 
you smiled at him as you left, clutching the contract to you chest and smirking at the arrogance in your coworkers’ faces. 
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sualne · 1 year ago
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been looking for jobs for three years and in the past two months ish I’ve gotten for the first time my first job interview and for a different job my first job essay.
(I did have an actual job as a comic colorist for like six months but nobody around me considered it a Real Job so I feel like I just never have a job even though I very much did.)
and each time, during the interview where I know realise I was kind of being explained the whole time why I wouldn’t get the job and at the end of the essay(which might not be the right word, like a day we’re your try out the job to see if you can do it) one of the reasons given why I wouldn’t be taken it was ‘we need people who can smile’.
(there were actual argument like being ‘too introverted’ and ‘not dynamic enough’. That last one is funny because i had another ‘almost pass out for no reasons’ moment right for break time (genuinely perfect timing) during the essay and while I was cold sweating and going blind on the bathroom floor I realised, if anyone ever know I have health issues I will never get a job. So being told I wasn’t dynamic enough a fourty something minutes later was straight up comedic).
Back to the smiling, my entire life since I was a literal baby I’ve been told I wasn’t expressing the Right Way. ‘If you feel a specific way you Have to emote this specific way, act this specific way and not do anything else otherwise you’re not actually feeling what you say you’re feeling, it means you’re actually lying, faking it or don’t know what you’re actually feeling because your not showing it the Right Way’ and obviously I’ve dismissed this my entire life because I was sure it was obvious and everyone knew that everyone exist differently and people don’t act the same. I kind of assume everyone that ever bothered me about it was some flavor of 1 having a day and decided to being weird about it to me or anyone else that was also not existing the correct way. 2 just kind of an asshole and therefor they’re opinion didn’t matter. 3 just kind of strange about thing and so be it, ´not my problem tho’ I thought.
But seeing how it’s an actual argument people have use twice now to refuse me a job I’m kind of being thinking, it might actually, for real, be a thing people actually are worried about, actually. Which is wild, but also make sense because people have very much for my whole life, to me and to a ton of strangers, made comments on folks not existing the proper way. Like how in horror someone being slightly off, slightly wrong, a little bit not how it usual should be is the trope of all time. And I love this trope, someone who’s voice is in differed from how they mouth work, someone who seems to not walk directly on the floor but just slightly above it. It’s fun and interesting.
Anyway, real life stuff, being told I’m not smiling enough is wild, like yeah I don’t smile much at all that’s a fact, and both job were about interacting with people and every time you go to a restaurant you’ll ear someone saying out of nowhere mean thing about people who work there. Insane things like ‘I don’t like the way they’re standing’ and over analysing someone expression and body languages when they’re literally just doing their job.
This post is kind of a mess but I had a point which was, I don’t understand people and why are so many mean for no reasons but I wanted it to sound less like a kid complaining and be more verbose about it.
And (this isn’t over yet) I did force myself to smile, like I very much did, I tried my best to be as pleasant and polite as possible. And being told again, this isn’t enough, just suck. Like I have to mask and hide and deal with so much I kind of expected that of all thing I was allowed to keep my face. Like people have bothered me about it my entire life and I’ve dismissed it my entire life because it just did not make sense and I couldn’t make it make sense(still can’t). But I’m genuinely at lost at what to do about it, if apparently I also have to change my face to get a job, that I need to exist the correct way in order to have the damn job in order to exist at all is all so, Not Good.
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol
#purrs#delete later#i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand#fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel#xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick#it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they#have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf#im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but#i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid#situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement#counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started#saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t#this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d#decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an#anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa#was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told#me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg#and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a#account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an#and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet#and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i#hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und#understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK
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billowyy · 7 months ago
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rubberbandballqueen · 1 year ago
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also, the kids found a nest with a dead bird on the ground today, and they started yelling abt it n drawing all the other kids over, so i had to actually switch into the Authority Figure Voice(tm) with them so that they wouldn’t like. literally desecrate its body by kicking it around for funsies
#in general i'm just not really all that keen on using Authority Voice on children or people in general#probably bc growing up i got told a lot that i can sound really scary! actually scratch that during argumentative speeches#my prof was like 'i didn't wanna stop you outright bc it felt like you were going to snap at n kill me if i did' n i was like#'oh my god i'm so sorry no feel free to stop me whenever; it's just acting' so even Very Recently i have been told i have frightening energy#but i think mostly i don't like using it on kids bc. well. yeah i feel like it'll make them scared of me n i don't want that#like they're children. i'm not going to kill them. i'm not going to skin them alive. i hardly give punishments in general#but they're old enough to associate Authority Voice with massive trouble. like i can feel it in my bones too when i use it n i don't like it#it makes me feel like the kind of adult i'd have hated n resented the most growing up n it just makes me feel kinda ick#but at the same time it has its uses! like if it was just one to... mm i'd say like three or five kids i'd be cool w/just like#backing them up n then talking to them abt safety precautions when handling dead bodies but otherwise letting them get sticks n poke at it#but there were like five there at the start n then like five more were coming over so i was like. 'mm. cutting this short rn'#esp when one kid started kicking at the body w/o an ounce of reverence. like dude wtf why are you punting bird corpses around#but yeah i can't blame them for their curiosity; n i don't want to teach them that death is scary or dirty or anything#but wild animals can carry diseases and these kids are less than ten years old. i've seen how they handle things. they have no grace#anyway. yeah. long day at work today.#the worm speaks
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#hhhhh 🫠 gotta love when instead of doing literally anything im stuck anxiously vibrating for hours#like if u just did things. things would get done! thats how this works! wtf r u doing???#2 manuscripts that r supposed to be done now and 2 applications left to complete#my mum thinks i should let my boss kno thst my brain is collapsing in on itself and like yea i prob should bc i should apologize for being#all weird and disorganized. my brain feels so weird. like it takes so so much processing power for me to remember wtf i was doing and what#i have to do next but like if i tell her it wont really change anything bc its like i have to meet these deadlines either way#also i have to b careful bc i dont wanna say yea i got horrifically burned out taking measurements but like im sure itll be fine that i#have to go back to taking measurements in January. like no prob. weve only been building up to it all year#and i kno if i say im burned out she'll be like u gotta relax more! i told u to relax so we wouldnt b here!#and then i have to be like no u dont fucking understand that i cant relax. i never relax. my life is a series of tasks and thinking abt#tasks and worrying forever. if u tell me to relax i will agony spiral for hours not relaxing and not being productive 🙃#i just need my brain to allow me to focus long enough to get these fucking manuscripts done#but no my brain is like if u wanna do thing u gotta find the perfect audio but also i cant focus as well with audio but also i cant even#find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music#and like no stop. just fucking focus and stop falling apart#time time time not enough and far too much#its so weird bc i think im pretty level headed and self aware despite how my brain is sometimes. but it keeps doing this thing where#like everything gets so distorted and im like jesus its a good thing otherwise pretty grounded#blah tomorrow well see whst comes outta my mouth when i tslk to my boss#ugh im so tired whyyyyyyyyy#i cant even make proper time to draw#unrelated
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