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mhafiction · 4 years ago

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Out & About (PT. 1)

Read Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

Pairing: Bakugo x reader

Fluff/Friends to Lovers (?), lots and lots of pining.

Synopsis: Reader is very close friends with the Bakusquad, except for the aloof and mysterious Bakugo. He still intrigues them however, and a night out with the group might actually be the the push they need to really get the ball rolling on transitioning their awkward comradery into something a little- more.

Note: this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written, I’m very spooked. There’s a ton of stress out there in the world rn, and I’m trying to find comfort in writing. I hope you enjoy. (Also I’m sorry abt the formatting of this fic I don’t have a laptop to post from :0) -K.

“I’m so glad we could do this, guys!”

You beamed at your friends, excited to set out for the evening. The major exam everyone had been studying diligently for all week was finally over, and the Bakusquad agreed to celebrate by going into the city to enjoy the night life. To be completely honest, in the week leading up to the test, you had been strangely on edge-but not just because of the workload. The dormitory had become oddly quiet, with everyone either off in the library or retreating to hit the books in the silent comfort of their rooms. You missed the hustle and bustle of everyone chatting, eating Sato’s latest confectionary masterpieces, and most of all, the unbridled energy your friends provided. Well, most of them, anyway.

At least now you could finally relax for the weekend and enjoy a good meal with them.

“Right? It feels like forever since we’ve done something like this,” Mina groaned, leaning her head on your shoulder. Her spikey horns jabbed into your chin. The murmur of the station felt familiar, a calming setting for you and your friends.

Kirishima flashed one of his bright smiles. “Aw, it’s only been a couple of weeks!”

“Yeah but you know I’m clingy,” Mina pouted. “I need my favorite peeps or else I get sad and droopy.”

You chuckled, pushing her playfully off your shoulder. “You’re so dramatic, Mina.”

You were thankful for such cheerful and enthusiastic friends. They were all energetic, happy, and extroverted. They really brought you out of your shell at the beginning of the year, and you had gotten to know them all so well over late-night movie marathons or afternoons at the arcade. You surveyed your little group, watching Kaminari begrudgingly charge Sero’s phone, Mina laughing uproariously at his some joke Kiri cracked, and their general bubbly aura. Then, your eyes caught on a familiar pair of piercing red ones.

Scratch that. You had gotten to know most of them pretty well.

What could you say about Bakugo Katsuki? Well, he was impulsive. Talented. Aloof. Angry.

That was about it. How such a grumpy, quiet boy had attracted these walking rays of sunshine was beyond you. Not to say you hate Katsuki or anything. In fact, one might say that you like him.

He had that extreme sort of passion that you’d never seen before, in anyone. He had a keen eye for people’s strengths and weaknesses, both in combat and just in genral. He encouraged you through those traits to go beyond your limits. And though he was cruel and rude to others, the worst he had been to you was a little standoffish. You knew Bakugo was going to be a really great hero someday, and you wanted to get to know him better. Most days, it felt like you were getting to him; becoming something a person would call friends. Then he’d look you in the eye with those dark, stoic eyes and it felt like you knew nothing about him all over again. If eyes were the windows to the soul, Bakugo guarded his with a legion of soldiers and an iron gate.

It’s okay you mused to yourself. Nobody really knows him, to be fair. Except maybe Kiri and Deku. But he’s known Deku for years! And Kiri can get anyone out of their shell. Why would Bakugo want to be good friends with me? He’s not obligated to. I shouldn’t pester him. But I still want to get to know him! Damn.

“Oi, Y/N!”

You snapped out of your thoughts. Bakugo glared at you. Or maybe it was just the way his face naturally was. Maybe it was just you, but those red eyes seemed to soften a bit.

“C’mon, train’s here.”

You nodded following behind your chattering group. The car was nearly empty, and most of your friends darted for the seats. Kaminari laid across three, spreading out as if her were royalty. Chances are, he probably felt like it.

“This is the most luxurious thing I’ve ever experienced,” he sighed. Sero flicked the back of his head, causing Kaminari to shoot up with a yelp. “That’s sad, Denki. Scooch over.”

Kaminari turned to you, rubbing the his head where Sero had flicked him. “Not sitting, Y/N?”

“Nah. I’ve been sitting at a desk all week, I’d like to refrain from it for now. I’ll bet my postures’ shot.”

Denki shrugged. “Suit yourself,” he splayed over Sero’s lap. “But just know you’re missing out.”

“Don’t get too comfortable, Sparky,” Bakugo growled. “It’s almost rush hour. By the next station, this place’ll be packed.”

Bakugo took his place by one of the seats, opting to stand by the pole next to the door. He was close enough to the seats so that it was clear he was part of the Bakusquad , but just far enough to isolate himself from the conversation. You stranded almost directly across from him, allowing yourself to face the group so that you could converse with all of them, rather by being in a row side by side. Your hand gently held the plastic ring above your head. You all had fallen into a comfortable chatter, laughing about how well you did on the exam and the latest slip-up Kaminari had made in training. The train swayed gently, and all was well. Then came the next stop.

You gaped at the crowd that had accumulated at the doors, dreading when they’d open. All tired looking folks dressed in smart suits and clutching their briefcases. You were silently impressed by their sheer numbers. Living in isolated school dorms with the little student social bubble you had had made you forget how vast the city was. It made you miss your morning commute a little bit. But, when the doors finally opened, that feeling completely evaporated.

It was as if a sea of black ties, dress shirts, and loafers had washed over you. You looked down, determined to contain your bewildered expression. The others were not faring so well in that department. Their cartoonish expressions were accented by quiet (and sometimes loud) yelps at the office people trampling their toes. Bakugo remained unfazed. In the chaos, you loosened your grip on the plastic loop to check your phone. 5:00 PM on the dot. We really are kind of dumb. You wondered to yourself why Bakugo hadn’t said anything when you suggested the outing after class. He was usually so outspoken when it came to stuff like that. And it’s not like he hadn’t known. You sighed, putting your phone away. I should have checked the time before we left... if I had just suggested to go a little later, the crowd wouldn’t be this bad. Well what’s done is done.

As you slipped our phone into your pocket, you found yourself being sharply pushed by the crowd. Another swell of people had entered, and your loose grip didn’t serve you well in such a circumstance. Naturally, you fell forward. Right into Bakugo. Your head collided with his and you tried to reel backwards in pain- but Bakugo pulled you closer to him, grabbing your wrists with an impressive grip.

“Owwww...”

“Shut up, you’re making a scene,” He hissed, eyes scanning you with... worry? As if suddenly becoming aware of this, Bakugo quickly returned to his usual cold demeanor.

You groaned. “It’s not as if it’s my fault that I got pushed. Or that you have a such a hard skull.” You suddenly realized how close you two were. Most of your friends were pretty physically affectionate, and you had no discomfort hugging them or cuddling with them. But Bakugo was not a “cuddle” person. Hell, his if his attitude wasn’t enough, his hair said it all. He did not like being touched. But here you were, chest to chest, his hands gripping your wrists, faces just a nose apart.

If it bothered him, he didn’t show it. You turned to look at the spot you were just standing in, craning your neck just to get a peek. It was tough.

“It’s useless,” Bakugo sighed. “There’s three extras in the place you were. Bastards are glued to their phones.”

You shrugged, peering up at him. More and more people were cramming into the car like sardines. “Guess I’ll have to stay here for now. Sorry.”

Bakugo averted his stony gaze, a gentle agony lining his face. “S’okay.” The rest of your group seemed to take no notice of the state the two of you were in. Mina and Kiri has pushed themselves up against the wall in an effort to be as small as possible, Sero’s gangly frame was not doing him favors, and you swore you heard Kaminari sobbing somewhere, though his shock of blonde hair was out of sight. Somehow, aside from the awkwardness of being near Bakugo, you weren’t uncomfortable. He had stopped holding your wrists and instead kept his hands hovering near your waist in order to keep you from falling over or accidentally bumping into another passanger. Not that you needed it our anything. You knew it was because he felt uncomfortable putting his hands anywhere else. Your own arms were similarly placed, and in a weird way, it was as if you two were embracing. Probably as close to a hug from Katsuki that you’d ever get.

With nothing else to look at, you observed his features. You knew already that his eyes were something else altogether, but you released a short intake of breath. Bakugo was handsome. You had thought that when you first saw him, but you truly had taken it for granted. This close, his features were rendered beautifully. His jawline, the way his hair fell- it was sort of ethereal. He kept his eyes trained on everything but you, as if he were trying to forget you were there. But on top of all that...

“Bakugo, you smell like caramel?” His eyes darted back to your own, that vulnerability you had only seen recently shining through. It stayed a little longer than last time.

“Tch. It’s my quirk,” he tried to look away, but you pressed him further.

“Oh? I didn’t know that,” you hummed, trying to keep your composure. Talking this close to Katsuki was beyond your skill level. You patted yourself on the back internally for at least making it this far. “Does it have something to do with your parents’ quirks?” He flinched, and you worried you had gone too far. He never had been one for small talk. But he obliged, a faint pink dusting his cheeks. “Kind of. My mom sweats glycerin and my dad can make explosions with his hands. I sweat nitroglycerin, and it lets me make explosions. And nitroglycerin smells like burnt sugar, or-”

“Caramel,” you finished, grinning. That was probably the most he had ever said to you in one sentence. And, to your suprise, he smiled back. But this smile melted your heart. It was sweet and unassuming and he didn’t even seem aware of it. You tried to hide your shock. “Heh. Smart Y/N. You’re such a know-it-all.” He tapped your forehead with his fist, right at the spot you two had collided. You flinched. The injury was still tender. Bakugo’s face changed, but still remained vulnerable and kind. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He knelt to see you eye to eye, and examined your face. He had asked with a genuine concern you had never seen before. Those words seemed like they weren’t meant for his mouth. You felt your face flush. If he was just an inch closer you two would be-

What the fuck?? No way. No fucking way.

There was no way. It wasn’t possible that you could be falling for Bakugo fucking Katsuki. The explosive boy who cackled maniacally whenever he got to punch someone. The sport festival victor who beat up Uraraka, the human equivalent of a cinnamon roll, without an ounce of mercy. The student so notorious for his mean streak that the League of Villains had tried to recruit him.

But that internal part, deep within you knew that he was more than his surface-level outrage. That’s why you liked him so much, right? That’s why you wanted to be his friend. He was a boy who was passionate, ambitious, and honest. Not many could see that. Still, more than this, he displayed a tenderness you didn’t think he was capable of.

A tenderness that was only a nose away from meeting your lips.

“I’m fine, Bakugo.” You attempted to subtly scooch backwards, hoping to increase to distance at least by a smidge. If you stayed in a position like this after a revelation like that, you’d truly implode.

Bakugo was no idiot. He saw you squirm at the proximity, and drew back, his usual aura returning. Internally, he smacked himself. Idiot, idiot, idiot. How could you forget? At best, you two are just friends. Most of the time, you’re just acquaintances. Control yourself, Bakugo.

You two kept this awkward silence until your stop, cheeks ablaze. After what felt like forever, your destination was announced, and Mina gave a shout of joy and relief so loud it seemed like it shook the entire train. You and Bakugo squeezed past the suits, you offering up enough apologies to compensate the both of you for a lifetime of sin. When you reached the door, it felt as if you were finally getting your head above water. You sighed deeply, talking in the rhythms of the station.

“Wow. That was awful,” you breathed. Bakugo grunted. His eyes refused to meet yours, and your heart sank. This was the Bakugo that everyone knew. The grumpy and angry Bakugo and nothing more. Not the sweet boy with the soft eyes who had asked with the gentlest tone if you were ok. But you still liked him. What is wrong with me?!

Mina flopped on the floor like a beached whale. “Ughhhhhhhh.”

“Mina, get up! That’s so gross,” Sero stepped over her, disgusted.

Kiri checked the group, making sure everyone got off. “Where’s Kaminari?”

A distant screech sounded from the train, and Kaminari burst through the doors just as they were about to close, talking his place on the station floor beside Mina. You laughed. This happiness made you forget about Bakugo, if at least for a second. But his eyes were trained on you, watching you toss you head back in joy and look at everything with such a deep love.

You saw, for one second as you turned back towards him, that soft smirk he almost never had. And your heart beat faster.

“Okay everyone! Let’s go!”

#mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x reader #x reader #bnha #sero hanta #kaminari denki #mina ashido #kirishima eijirou #mha x y/n #mha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader #mha #katsuki bakugo x reader #long fic #yikes

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plainvanillapotato · 5 years ago

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the 100 diaries S1 E13

quarantine diaries: may 26 2020

season 1 episode 13: “We Are Grounders: Part II”

I can’t believe im already at the season 1 finale

starting strong with raven and clarke cauterizing her wound. are they really going to paralyze raven? no wait please tell me that she becomes a cyborg.

ooo the tension between finn and bellamy. FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! hmmph. fine clarke be the killjoy and break up the fight between youre boyfriends.

i dont like mama clarke and daddy bellamy fighting and disagreeing. it is not productive for your group of kids especially with the grounders coming. i like that clarke balances out bellamy’s negativity tho. way to stay positive. i could never cuz im quite the cynic if y’all if haven’t figured that out yet

was that fire and steam scene (3:50) necessary? im not a big outdoorsy person but im pretty sure that that amount of steam of excessive. i mean it did look cool tho and dramatic af

what is this music? what is with all the slow-mo the editing team really be trying to make walking through the forest super cool and epic when it really isnt

honestly these kids are doing better than the adults. cuz its chaos up there in the ark.

shitttt when that grounder throwing star came and killed that guy.

wow they ran back to camp. soo basically the past ten minutes have been useless. like they really be lets move out and retreat then 5 minutes later be like nvm that was a bad idea lets go back to where its safe and we actually have a chance to fight back. and bet bellamy was like I FUCKING TOLD YOU! CLARKE YOU IGNORANT SLUT! *sorry another office reference

haha finn did a double face palm when clarke agreed with bellamy (7:00)

wow these cuts these editors are just adding new styles.

bellamy’s little makeshift war table is too cute. i wonder if he had individual figurines of himself, clarke, and the other main characters.

also i feel like raven is highly underappreciated. like she is essentially a one-woman show for all things mechanical and weaponry. literally if raven did not come down from the ark when she did. the 100 wouldnt even stand a chance. i honestly think that they’d all be dead already. however then again it was raven’s idea with the flares that ignited this war so......but who am i kidding if it werent the flares the 100 themselves would have found another way to piss of the grounders and start a war sooner or later

ring of fire. i see that raven also watched finding nemo

bbq grounders and raven sayin “ill cook them real good” i thought this was supposed to be feminist show so why they keeping raven in the kitchen? jk jk

finn being a noble dumbass. i stan. but woah! woah woah! finn be out here flirting with clarke and raven at the same time. in the same place. right in front of each other. slow your roll mister.

that awkward moment when the ark didn’t launch. oof. cant relate.

kane touching everyone's hands very anti-corona. but then it was all for nothing. jaha coming to stealing his thunder leaving kane lookin like a fool. jaha giving me captain america vibez rn. also star trek.

friendly reminder that chris hemsworth played chris pine’s father

when jaha said “and ill see my son” rip wells rip. the writers did him dirty :(

grounders be confident enough to announce their arrival with their drums. they should be tho cuz this kids. they aren’t reaaaady

raven having a quarter life crisis about she used to always being first and now ending up where she is now. i felt that. bitch me in college is not a good look. but also when clarke said “id pick you first” we love sisters supporting sisters. imagine if this is sparks a relationship between them. like they both realize how dumb finn is and they decide that they should just get together as a big fuck you to finn.

ooo karma is a bitch murphy.

i love how anya be a wearing a crown on the battle field. shes a queen and she knows it.

this attack between the grounders and the 100 be like the battle at winterfell in GoT (”the long night”) but just scaled down and with guns. i say this because in both that its seems like an impossible fight but also because its hard to see all the action with this poor lighting

nooooow finn listens to bellamy. thats when you know he’s desperate

wow i can’t believe these kids are actually listening to clarke cuz bitch you know if i saw those grounders coming at me you better your ass that i be running to that drop ship for cover. this kids really do have more balls than me.

they’re playing some hallelujah music while they watch the ark descend to earth. waht? then it cuts to some of the people exploding as some of the ark re enters the atmosphere. may we meet again.

how the hell did licoln find her in the mist of all this chaos? oh i know. lincoln be that weird ass person that can track a person based on their scent and you know octavia hasn’t showered in days so you know her stench is potent. aaahh the smell of true love.

aww bellamy apologized about to octavia and his “my life ended when you were born” we love a king that apologizes. really tho. not a lot of male characters apologizes for the messed up things they do/say. i stan.

goodbye octavia may you become a badass next time we meet.

ooo prettyboy bellamy no and finn too. ooh. i know they have to survive for the plot. but i dont like it when found families get separated

this was me watching my bois bellamy and finn getting the living hell beaten out of them by the grounders and not making it back to the dropship

did anya really go in there thinking that she could take on all these kids with guns and no supervision. but i mean if anyone could it would be this queen.

“we are not grounders” i think the title of the episode would disagree with you clarke

props to that stuntman. that fire looks hella hot.

don’t tell me that the air is sweet. put on a damn mask abby don’t you know that its corona season.

welp there goes my ship between kane and jaha. damn it. i mean i guess they could have a really short (timing-wise) but very loooooooong distance relationship. cheers to you thelonius. may we meet again. pour one out for me.

these mountain men have smoke grenades and lasers and guns and gas masks. modern warfare the writers said.

clarke in the good place?

van gogh. starry night. is this just random or is there actual relevance/hidden symbolism behind this. cuz if the latter im picking up on nothing.

monty!!!! He liiiiiivveeeees so...

quarantine ward! Mount Weather?! what the fuck i going on?

#the 100 #the 100 diaries #clarke #bellamy #monty #monty lives #finn #raven #jasper #octavia #lincoln #octavia x lincoln #anya

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jamespottervevo · 6 years ago

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painted red (to fit right in) 1/3

James Potter is Spider-Man, and no one gave him an instruction manual.

He really could have used that manual.

Spiderman!AU | no movie spoilers | 7.k words | ao3

thank you to @frxddi @n0tromulus and @sitienessuficientecoraje for beta reading!

(if you showed any above average interest in this fic [yes I read tags bc I crave validation], I’m going to tag you here- @elanev91 @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world @frustratedpoetwrites @cornerforward13 @padfootdidit)

CHAPTER 1: i feel it in my bones

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James Potter came to in handcuffs. Again. Sirius kept a tally, for some asinine reason, of all the times he woke up handcuffed. Specifically in public. Not that he made a habit of being handcuffed in private either, that would make things a bit awkward around the house, paper thin walls and all that. He would never be able to look his mum in the eye if she walked in on him in cuffs, or the suit for that matter. He really didn’t want her to walk in on him in the suit. Not because he didn’t like it! He looked pretty sick in red after all. It was just- James took a breath, blinked once, then twice, then tried desperately to ignore the ache that had found a home at the base of his skull.

He was in the back of a squad car and for some inexplicable reason, no one had thought to try and peel off his mask. James supposed that, in the officers’ defense, the seam was really hard to find sometimes. But, on the other hand, what was with the police in New York? Had they even been trained or had they just been given a gun and told to shoot brown people?- something very fucking unfortunate for James.

He looked back down at the cuffs on his wrist, jangling them a bit to see if by some miracle the cops had forgotten to actually lock the damn things, but no dice; maybe they had been trained after all. At least they’d been so kind as to cuff him in the front. He could work with that. His eyes flicked toward the rear view mirror and he watched as a few officers milled about, surveying the scene, chatting loudly, kicking garbage, generally being vaguely scummy in a sort of indistinct way. He grit his teeth and cracked his neck, bouncing just a bit in the seat to garner up some sort of energy, to shake off the fucking jackhammering going on in his skull.

He twisted in the seat, as subtle as he could manage before kicking at the door, hard, and knocking it open. (It occurred to James later that he could have just used the handle.) Okay, so maybe he really needed to work on that whole “not alerting every cop in the area to his escape” thing, but he was like, sixty percent sure he might have had a concussion. He couldn’t be blamed for the stupid things he did while most likely concussed, but he knew for a fact that Sirius wouldn’t let him live it down once the video footage broke.

But right,- cops, staring at him and yelling, hands drifting to weapons. James took another deep breath and pretended his head wasn’t a few seconds off from exploding before he began running, feet hard and fast hitting the pavement. He couldn’t see, sensory overload the helpful little voice in his head supplied as he jumped over a fire hydrant, down the sidewalk, sirens starting to blare behind him again. Everything was too much. Too much light, too many colors, too much movement. He picked up on it all and felt like he might throw up his Cheerios. He really shouldn’t have had that second glass of chocolate milk either.

“Come on, come on,” James mumbled, eyes dating; he just had to find a building tall enough… He grinned as he turned the corner, all but smacking right into a beautiful skyscraper. Okay, maybe it was a little ugly but it was absolutely perfect. He glanced over his shoulder, the police turning the corner. James flicked his wrist, and offered the police officers a wave as the web shot from his hand and plastered itself to the wall up ahead.

“Well, officers, it’s been a ple-” He cut off as the force of the web retracting finally grabbed him, yanking him off toward the wall at a speed that was definitely not safe for the concussion he definitely had or the breakfast he was definitely going to throw up. He’d never thrown up in the mask and he absolutely refused for that first to happen while being chased by a few very angry cops while handcuffed.

Webslinging? Much harder while handcuffed he might add.

But cuffed or not, the feeling still opened up some part of him. Like...magic. Everytime he was in the air, James felt more alive than he thought should be allowed. Like every breath he’d ever held suddenly rushed out of him, no weight to burden him. Nothing had ever made him feel quite so real. It was as close to flying anyone could ever get, he reasoned.

Well. Flying with a little more thought, he amended, as he shot another web, twisted his body to avoid slamming head first into a billboard. Something about lotion. Or maybe yogurt. He hadn’t been able to get a clear picture while hurtling past at breakneck speed. But it had looked like Jamie Lee Curtis, so probably yogurt.

While yes, being in the air, grabbing buildings and flagpoles and billboards to swing and throw himself farther and farther away from the cops was nice (breathtaking, spectacular, fucking fun), it didn’t exactly stop his head from threatening to explode. Had the sun always been that fucking bright? When the sirens started to fade out into nothingness behind him, James began trying to find his alleyway.

Despite what the papers said about him, he didn’t think he was a “public menace” at all! Sure, maybe he still hadn’t quite got a hang of the whole “hero” thing yet, but it’s not like anyone ever gave him a manual. Couldn’t just google “am I a spider?” or “how to be a superhero?” - though, he did think there was a wikifact article on that one actually- or even “how to look good in spandex?” And yes, maybe he’d tried to google that one.

But.

Just because knew he couldn’t truthfully be labeled a public menace, it didn’t necessarily mean people, you know. Agreed with him. So landing in the street? Not a good plan. Besides, all of his belongings were stashed away behind a dumpster and a cleverly placed board in the alley behind the Indian grocery near home. It took a few more swings before he caught sight of the familiar signs and swung himself down into the alley. His nose scrunched. Oh god. He’d forgotten it was garbage day. But beggars couldn’t be choosers, he supposed as his feet hit the ground. He stumbled, having momentarily forgotten that he had definite brain damage and also was handcuffed and probably could taste color thanks to the overstimulation.

James gave his surroundings a cursory glance- he had to be quick about this- before yanking his wrists apart, hard, splitting the cuffs with a satisfying CRACK! Fucking hurt though. And now he just had two locked on bracelets. And still had his suit on. And-

His phone was going off.

James’ train of thought slowed as he heard the blaring saxophone riff of “Careless Whisper” increasing in volume from inside his suit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. His alarm. Throwing another glance around the alleyway first, James ripped off his mask, hair standing straight up and undoubtedly looking like a rats nest. George fucking Michael was going to get him caught in a skeevy alleyway, half dressed, in handcuffs. Is this what his life had come to? Goddamnit. He hoped his mom didn’t put all that information in his obituary after she definitely murdered him for galavanting about as a superhero without her permission.

After a bit more fumbling, he managed to unzip his suit and shove his hand into it, silencing his “hey dumbass it’s time for school” alarm. Because he was a dumbass who was definitely going to be late for school. James looked around hopelessly, as if he could find a magical key somewhere in the alley that would let him get the fucking cuffs off.

What a sight he bet he was- half dressed in his Spider-Man suit, squinting without his glasses, wobbling from the concussion. James paused, and reached out to steady himself by throwing a hand onto the wall.

His (wildly out of focused) eyes landed on a mostly distinguishable blur. Huh. So, maybe it wasn’t a key, but a pipe should work, right? Without much thought (because, as James would admit, he rarely did anything with much thought) he slammed his wrists down onto the pipe as hard as he could.

The metallic clang echoed through the alley and he had to bite back a cry of pain as the reverberations shook through his wrists, but the cuffs snapped off. A couple bruises were nothing new! He’d be fine!

James spent a few more moments fumbling in the alley. Nearly falling headfirst in the dumpster while reaching for his backpack. (He’d learned his lesson and had wrapped the bag in a quadruple layer of plastic grocery sacks to keep the Garbage Reek off of it.) Tripping over his own feet as he stripped out of the suit. Almost tearing a gigantic fucking hole in his t-shirt as he tried to get it on over his head. He was doing great.

Once he was finally changed and his suit was hidden and his backpack was de-plasticed, James glanced down at his phone. Fuck. Fuck. 7:39. He couldn’t exactly websling his way to class and he’d told his parents he was spending the night with Remus so it’s not like he could manage a ride off them. Fuck.

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james potter to Big Chungus: anyone near devars rn?

sirius black: tf u at devars for at 7 in the morning

sirius black: ik we have ladoo at home unless ur fatass ate all of them

remus lupin: I’m pretty sure that pete ate most of the pack james thought he’d hid in that hollowed out book on his shelf

peter pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

james potter: 1) hate all of u.

james potter: 2) not about snacks just need a ride so come get me

remus lupin: be there in five you absolute jackass

remus lupin: but I want some of those chickpea things from the store as payment

remus lupin: the ones with the peanuts with them

james potter: literally said this wasn’t about snacks like two secs ago. Not even in the store

remus lupin: u want a ride? Bc this is about snacks now jim

james potter: ...which size bag do u want

----------------------

The thing was, he’d never meant to be a hero.

He hadn’t purposefully shoved his hand into a creepy spider’s weird science prison containment cage during the field trip to RidCorp. Hadn’t gone out of his way to bend metal pipes in half on accident (that had been a shock to say the least). Hadn’t woken up one morning with the intention of sticking to walls. Door handles. Stairway railing at school. James Potter had been happy! Never wishing he had more or could be more or should be more.

Because he loved his life! He loved his parents and his friends. He played soccer and helped carry the debate team to victory and fucked around in some of his classes! No seventeen year old in their right mind would purposefully go out of their way for that sort of responsibility! He barely remembered to take out the garbage- of course he never meant to become a hero!

He’d also not meant to accidentally save Lily Evans’ life.

But life just had a way of intervening, didn’t it?

----------------------

“You’re staring.”

James jolted slightly, glasses slipped down the bridge of his nose. Sirius made himself comfortable far too close to James’ ear before throwing himself down at their usual lunch table.

He decided not to grace Sirius with a response and instead rubbed his neck, pretended he wasn’t thirteen different types of pathetic. “I was not staring- I mean. No, what? Who would I have even been staring at?” Smooth, Potter, he thought, really fucking smooth. Inconspicuous.

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he swung his backpack from his shoulders and dropped it to the floor with an unceremonious thud. James flinched at the sound. (Concussed, remember? A week later and he was still dealing with headaches) A few people glanced their way, but it wasn’t as if Sirius seemed to care. Well, James reasoned, he probably had done it for the attention in the first place. James adjusted his glasses, concentrated quite fiercely at a place on the wall, poked at his food with little intention of actually eating.

Sirius snorted. “So you mean to tell me that you weren’t staring at Evans then?” The lilt to his voice made it very apparent that yes, Sirius knew that he’d been staring at Evans and was now being the world’s largest dick about the fact.

Before James could continue his scathing silent treatment, Remus sank into his customary seat. “Oh, no, James was definitely staring at Lily,” he provided. Traitor.

James pulled his phone out from his pocket and finally tore his gaze away from the very intriguing concrete wall and tapped out a message.

james potter to remus lupin: et tu brute

He set down his phone with a huff. “I was not fucking staring at Evans,” he lied. Poorly. Because as he spoke, his gaze shifted back toward her direction. James only vaguely registered Remus’s scoff at the text message because…

God.

Lily E. Evans (so he may have glanced at her student ID. Once… Okay, four times) happened to be the singularly most beautiful person he’d ever met. Fuck, that he’d ever seen. And that included Kim Possible, who he may or may not have had a fat crush on as a kid. (He had a type, okay? The guys never ceased to give him shit over that, but resolutely, James refused to be shamed for the level of self awareness he was positive people would be plenty jealous to achieve.) Evans blew everyone else out of the water.

He loved her hair- thick and red with impossibly good looking bangs. (James melted whenever she pulled it into a ponytail and had managed to fucking fail gym class freshman year because he was distracted. Over a ponytail. Gym class! He was a student athlete!) Her eyes that he could have composed sonnets about if he knew how to do that sort of thing. Her dimples. Freckles. The stubbornness written into her chin, her jaw. Her eyes. Her eyes. Her eyes.

Then there was the way she laughed and flipped her hair over her shoulder and only ever used purple InkJoy pens. The fact she laced her boots to the very top and tucked in the excess. How when she seemed anxious, she’d put on cherry lip balm like a nervous tick. The way she always knew the answers to anything Slughorn asked before James could even comprehend the question. How she gave tours to all the new students and never faked a smile. God. Then there was her smile. He’d thought a lot about her smile. How to make her smile at him instead of scowl. Huff. Frown.

Evans was...was an angel. A goddess. A-

“You’re literally about to start drooling.” Peter snapped James from his reverie. The tater tot that hit him in the face shortly after helped as well.

James snatched the weaponized tot off the table and popped it into his mouth. “No I wasn’t,” he lied once again, this time around the food in his mouth. He swallowed. Stole another one of Pete’s tater tots. When had he sat down anyway? Had he been that enthralled in Evans-land (again)?

Unable to help himself, James took one last glance in Evans’ direction before the undoubtable barrage of soggy potatoes could commence.

Her head was thrown back as she laughed, a featherlight hand on Snape’s shoulder. His stomach clenched.

Evans was a pipe dream.

----------------------

sirius black to peter pronounced venti wrong three separate times in the starbucks line: take bets, is minnie gonna let us pick our groups for this project

peter pettigrew: i hadn’t slept in 40 hours! Bc you made me stay up! Watching every fucking fast and furious movie

peter pettigrew: and then made me give analysis after each one

peter pettigrew: and keep a comprehensive ranking of them

remus lupin: pete did you drink three venti coffees????????

sirius black: he got thru one before he said “his heart was going to burst”

james potter: jesus christ dude

james potter: but tokyo drift is obviously the best

remus lupin: isn’t gal gadot in some of those?

remus lupin: my mother keeps telling me to find a nice jewish girl think she’d be okay with this?

sirius black: jim ur opinions are trash, pete ur coffee habits are wack, remus I keep telling u we’re soulmates god. Now FOCUS.

sirius black: groups. for. project.

remus lupin: dude of course she’s not letting us work together

james potter: yeah do u like...not remember what happened last time

remus lupin: pete still can’t eat spaghetti

peter pettigrew changed chat name to PTSD (post traumatic spaghetti disorder)

----------------------

He died. That had to be what had happened, right? Maybe all the brain trauma he’d been hiding from his parents had finally caught up to him. What movie was it where everything turned out to have all been a dream? Because that was another likely situation. Really, anything felt more plausible than McGonagall- Minnie, his guardian-fucking-angel, a saint on Earth- pairing him with Lily E. Evans for the history project.

James did a great job pretending he hadn’t seen the less-than-thrilled look on Evans’ face when the pairing was announced. Because he was living. The project meant he’d have an excuse to talk to her without coming across as a creep. That he’d be able to spend time with her outside of school.

Pathetic? Oh, definitely. But James couldn’t make himself care because Evans’ number was written in purple ink, tidy little numbers, on the back of his hand. He may or may not have memorized it before class had even ended. So yeah. Pathetic. Happily, happily pathetic.

James kept looking down at his phone.

lily (love of my life) evans: meet me at the nat. history museum by on the front steps?

lily (love of my life) evans: 5:30 okay?

James knew without a doubt that if Evans had asked him to show up at four in the morning and wait all day, he would have without question. So 5:30? No problem. It gave him a little extra time for his patrols too! (Admittedly, he was the only one keeping track of his patrols, but it wasn’t like he should sit by and do nothing, not with the powers he’d been given. Right? Right.)

James couldn’t wipe the grin off his face, not even when he ducked into the closest abandoned alley to change. This time, he’d managed the foresight to wear most of his suit on under his school clothes, save for the mask and gloves. He was learning, thank you very much.

He could only imagine what he looked like, swinging from building to building while still wearing his backpack. (A text from Sirius informed him that he “looked like a whole ass fucking weeb.”)

Swinging from one building to the next, just listening, focusing, he let his senses kick into overdrive to pick up anything unusual. Since the bite, the world had grown too loud, too much, at times. James learned how to turn it off, eventually, but it took him time. Days of headaches and nausea and blurry vision, days when he could suddenly see the flecks of dry skin on Pete’s cheek from across the room. When he could smell Evans’ perfume tables away in Minnie’s class and he nearly fainted. It definitely took time. But he liked to think he’d gotten better at it all. At trying to be a hero, using his powers.

He hadn’t...done much, admittedly. He’d helped that one woman get back into her car; he’d climbed up onto the roof to grab a basketball for some kids. Oh, he’d gotten back a stolen bike, chased down a purse snatcher. Pulled a kid from the street to avoid a jackass on a motorcycle. Small things. Good things, but small things. He’d only been at this for a few months- just long enough for the police to hate him on sight and the Daily Prophet to label him a menace just because he may have accidentally done some light property damage. Maybe.

But doing nothing? Now that felt like a waste. James swung up onto the edge of a roof, plopped down to make himself comfortable, and tugged off his mask. He gulped down fresh air and tilted his head back, letting the wind rush over his face. The building was too tall for anyone to be able to make out his face from down below, or at least he hoped that was the case.

After a little more fumbling, James pulled his phone from his suit and began tapping at the screen while still wearing his gloves. Of course, that didn’t fucking work because it never worked. He huffed and yanked a glove off with his mouth, his other hand pressed against the ledge for balance. He could just imagine his obituary if he fell.

“James Potter was beloved by everyone except his mother who he’s going to send into an early grave because of his shenanigans. He looked like a fool and at the very least could have worn a jacket. He fell off the building because he never ate his ratha poriyal because his brother told him it would make him turn into a Chupacabra. It’s a miracle they didn’t fall off the roof together. He leaves behind a messy room and an angry cat who has begun peeing everywhere in retaliation. In lieu of flowers, send a cleaning crew.”

So he held onto the ledge.

Evans hadn’t texted yet, which meant he still had a little longer to kill before showing up at the museum like a lovestruck fool. James took a few minutes to absently scroll through Twitter, check his email, stockpile a few memes for the guys later. He snapped off a selfie, angling it just right before sending it to the groupchat, just to flex.

----------------------

Casual. Casual. He could do casual. He could definitely do casual. Casual? Not an issue. James Potter was smooth as fuck. He kept his focus on the soccer ball in his hands as he stared up at the stucco ceiling. He tossed the ball in the air, caught it, repeated. Toss. Catch. Toss. Catch.

“So,” he began, fighting the waver in his voice. These were his best friends. They’d understand. Right? They’d believe him. “You guys heard about Spider-Man?” Saying it out loud felt like coughing up dust.

Sirius glanced over from his nest in the beanbag chair, raised an eyebrow, shifted slightly. Remus made a soft, disgruntled sort of sound as Sirius moved and made a bit of a show of adjusting his legs across his lap, draped from where he sat in James’ desk chair.

“You mean the dude that’s been running around in pajamas?” Remus asked, scowled down at Sirius who had simply started wiggling in the seat. Ever the help, Pete began tossing licorice bites across the room to Sirius to further egg on his wiggles. Well. Maybe hinderance, based on Remus’s look as he bapped Sirius on the head with his novel before looking over at James. Sirius caught a bit of licorice in his mouth and he and Pete threw their arms up in triumphant glee. “I’ve seen him on the news some, yeah.”

The ball was in midair as he began to sputter, sitting up. “He does not wear pajamas!” Without sparing a glance, James stuck his hand out and caught the soccer ball in his open palm. Remus looked mildly impressed. Mildly. High praise, really.

Peter chewed on a piece his of licorice. “No, I agree with Remus. He’s definitely wearing pajamas,” he mumbled around his candy after taking his time to come to that conclusion. A conclusion James had hoped would be rational and obvious because of course Spider-Man didn’t look like he was wearing pajamas.

Sirius snorted, tapping away at his phone. “You’re just agreeing with Remus because he’s smart,” he deadpanned, gaze unwavering. Instagram, if James had to guess. But!

“So you agree with me then, right? He’s clearly not wearing pajamas!” James exclaimed, relief almost obvious in his tone. He set the soccer ball down. Uh. Fuck. Okay. His hand was stuck. He casually just...left it there. On top the soccer ball. Like anyone would do.

Sirius let out another snort. This time his eyes wandered over the edge of his phone to land on a perfectly, totally chill, super normal James who just happened to like resting his hand on a soccer ball. “What? Fuck no, of course it looks like he’s in pajamas.”

“But-”

“Remus is smart, not wrong.”

James was melting. God. Okay. Just be calm. Don’t make things weird. Take it eas- “I’m Spider-Man!” He shouted, cut himself off when he remembered they were in his bedroom and his parents were home and he didn’t need the wrath of Euphemia Potter at six o’clock on a Tuesday. “I’m Spider-Man.” He repeated, a little quieter, a little calmer.

This time, it was Remus who broke the silence first. With a surprised yelp of laughter. He set down his book and looked at James, nose wrinkled in amusement. It made him look younger, James realized, the nose thing. “Dude, c’mon. You’re telling me that you, James Fleamont-”

“God don’t remind me-”

“- Potter are Spider-Man,” Remus finished, the corners of his lips tugged up into a cheeky grin.

James suddenly felt, oh what was the word? Re-fucking-gret.

“Do you not remember freshman year gym with Hooch? Because,” Sirius started, “I do. You fell from the top of the rope climb and smacked your bigass head onto the gym floor. You threw up. We all watched you throw up.”

James could have done without the fucking laughter in his tone. Brother who? No. He was an only child from there on out. “Okay that was only because I saw Evans do this thi-”

“You also fell down the stairs last month, like, all of the stairs,” Peter chimed in because of course! Clearly it was mock-James-during-his-big-dramatic-alter-ego-reveal-moment-time! “A lot of people saw that too,” he added with clearly careful thought, fucking reminiscing about James falling headfirst down the stairs. As if he didn’t have enough brain damage already.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Without thinking (wow, he had a habit of not thinking) James flicked his wrist and shot out a web, snatching Sirius’s phone from his hand.

The room went very...very quiet. The trio turned to look at him, faces blank, as if their reactions were buffering and then Sirius opened his mouth-

“What the FUCK.”

----------------------

peter pettigrew to SPIDERJAMES??????????????????????: okay so can u lay eggs

james potter: dude wtf no??????

sirius black: okay r u sure tho? Like have u really tried to lay an egg?

james potter: why. the fuck would i try to lay an egg??

peter pettigrew: science

james potter: I don’t lay eggs.

remus lupin: what happens when you masturbate

james potter: I do NOT want to answer that

sirius black: yknow, also p invested in jim not answering that

peter pettigrew: ………morbidly curious

remus lupin: it’s just as valid as asking about eggs.

james potter: I regret telling all of you anything ever in my life

james potter left the chat

remus lupin changed chat name to spidersemen? is it a thing.

sirius black: im so uncomfortable

remus lupin: good. hard questions should make you uncomfortable

peter pettigrew: ha! Hard.

sirius black: u were so pure before we were friends

remus lupin: you don’t know my life.

----------------------

James shifted on the roof, slipped his phone back into his suit. 5:06. He had exactly 24 minutes to get get to the museum, change, and make himself look perfectly loveable to be just on time to meet Evans. Right. Super duper reasonable! He swung his legs around from the edge of the roof, moving back onto solid ground and grabbing his backpack in one fluid motion. The museum was...James squinted, used his finger to point as he counted, six blocks away. He could totally handle that in 24 minutes.

Wait. Mask. Right. He bent down to swipe his mask off the roof ledge when his body went cold. His muscles tightened, the hair on the back of his neck standing up as a creeping feeling rolled up his spine. He could hear see smell taste everything oh god there was a baby crying down the street- pizza- cat being chased- woman yelling on the phone- trashcan.spiderwebonthefireescape.taxisnearlycolliding.tacotruckemptyinggrease-Hey Get Out Of Her- No I Didn’t Tell Him Ab- I Love You Have A Good D- Yeah I Got The Shit It’s-

James let out a sharp gasp and broke focus, his hand curled tight around his mask. It happened, sometimes, an overload like that. The kind that made every nerve in his body go into hyper-super-what-the-fuck sensitive mode. He felt it, all the time, really. Walking down the street. When he answered the front door. When he saw the police. He didn’t have to have the suit for that. He once tried to explain it as anxiety dialed up to fifty, when there was danger, his body reacted. Like an allergy.

Without a doubt, that spider-sense never led to anything good, especially not when the feeling came across that violently. And in that moment, all James could hear, smell, think was “Yeah, I got the shit. It’s pretty low quality, you sure this is what he wanted?”

James yanked his mask on, took a deep breath. Focused.

“Yeah, I got the shit. It’s pretty low quality, you sure this is what he wanted?”

He started to run and without hesitation, threw himself off the roof, arms spread, a nose dive. A leap of faith that he wasn’t about to do something incredibly stupid. Focus. James shot out a weh on instinct, catching a fire escape and throwing himself higher, faster.

“Yeah, I got the shit. It’s pretty low quality, you sure this is what he wanted?”

Close. James was close. His body felt tense, on edge. He swung around a building and nodded at the wide-eyed woman in the passing window, waved. He heard the slam of a car door. A van. An alley.

“Yeah, I got the shit. It’s pretty low quality, you sure this is what he wanted?”

He landed with a loud, metallic thunk, a creak as the fire escape settled under his weight. James winced, scrunched his eyes shut, said a little prayer that the men didn’t hear him. He quickly ducked behind a comically small potted plant and prayed that would be enough.

Slowly, James peered around the plant, nudging one of the leaves out of the- weed. He was hiding behind a cutesy terra cotta pot of weed on someone’s fire escape. Okay then. He stored that information away for later and took everything in.

A nondescript black van sat parked in the alley, one of the back hatch doors swung open. James could just barely make out a few cardboard boxes stacked in the back. Two men stood to the side, backs turned to James’ hiding place. One in a hoodie, a cigarette in one pale hand. One in a button up shirt tucked into dress pants.

“How much more is he gonna need?” Hoodie asked. His voice hadn’t seemed to have dropped. Young sounding. James scooted a little closer, pushing the plant for cover and immediately regretted the action as the pot scraped across the metal grating. Loudly. Whoopsie.

He studied Hoodie, nose scrunched as he wondered why a teenager wou- oh. If that was a teenage dude’s ass, he was definitely going to have to reevaluate some things later. People did always think that Sirius was his boyfriend which like, gross? They were practically related and he’d seen Sirius’s dental hygiene habits up close and he did not want to get personal. If he’d date any of his friends, obviously it would be Remus. Was that even a question? Actually, Pete would be rather supportive no matter what.

James frowned. He did have a bit of an obsession with George Michael- He paused the steamrolling thoughts and just...filed that crisis away for later.

Button Up shifted, folded his arms over his chest. “Unsure. The experiments have been going as we’d hoped, but it’s not even close to passing under FDA regulations.” Button Up sighed and pulled a bulky looking phone out of his back pocket. James squinted. Was that a flip phone? Who the fuck still used a flip phone?

Button Up held a finger up to Hoodie and brought the phone up to his ear. The three waited, James with baited breath, Hoodie with restless posture and puffs of smoke, Button Up with a perfectly blank face.

Hoodie moved her weight from one foot to the other and pulled her hand from her pockets. She pushed the hood of her sweatshirt off, revealing a mess of dark, curly hair. She took a drag off her cigarette. Exhaled. “Look, I’m in a hurry here. Your boss has my number if he needs anymore, but he’s gotta remember that my supplier takes his time with this. I won’t be able to pull this much out of my ass again.” Hoodie spoke around the cigarette in her mouth, blew smoke toward the van.

Button Up didn’t glance in Hoodie’s direction. “Yes. Hello sir! I- yes...no we didn’t run into any issues- Five boxes as ordered, I’ll be...Uh. Yes. I’ll ask.” He snapped his phone shut, cleared his throat. “He wants five more shipments, as well as a few...test subjects. Double the pay if you get it done by the end of the month.” Button Up cleared his throat, moved as if adjusting a tie.

Hoodie nodded once, then twice, dropped her cigarette butt to the ground and extended her hand. Button Up clasped it in a way so professional, it was almost funny. “He better, or else. Don’t think the boss would like it too much if the Prophet caught wind of this, now would he?” There was confidence in her tone, another shift in her posture. Holding her head up higher. Power, James realized. Whatever this was, the cards were in her hands.

Button Up withdrew his hand and turned away from Hoodie, closing the back door of the van. James’ body thrummed with energy, jittered. They’d not said anything illegal, but he knew better than to doubt his spidey sense. He needed to do...something. Follow one of them or catch one in a web or… Something.

In his moment of internal debate, James had missed Hoodie’s retreat, leaving Button Up to focus on. He turned toward the fire escape as he rubbed his temples and James got a decent look at his face. He felt...a little disappointed honestly. No super badass scars or tattoos, and he wasn’t that good looking. He looked plain, forgettable. Hanging from his shirt was a security badge. James couldn’t quite make out the words, but he recognized the logo.

RidCorp. The pioneer and leader in innovation when it came to new pharmaceuticals and genetics, RidCorp was the public’s darling when it came to the future. Cures for cancer and growing new organs and...James had just watched an employee make a shady deal in an empty alleyway.

He didn’t hesitate. When Button Up turned once again, started to walk toward the driver’s side door, James dropped down from the fire escape with a THUMP. He took a moment to prop a hand on the wall, cross his ankles as he leaned. Button Up swivelled on his heels, fast.

James wiggled the fingers on his free hand. “This looked like a lot of fun. Can I join in? I’m a great conversationalist!” He wished he had a camera to capture the look of absolute “what the fuckery” on Button Up’s face.

“Shit,” Button Up hissed as he leapt into the van and slammed the door shut. Before James had the foresight to memorize the license plate, Button Up was speeding off down the alley. The van made a violent turn into the street and was reasonably met with angry honks and shouts.

James grinned, shot a web, and let the momentum carry him after the van. Button Up hadn’t managed to get very far before James caught sight of him again. He kept up the pace of webswingjump, webswingjump, until he was close enough to land a web onto the top of the van.

Unfortunately, it was impossible to swing from superpowered spiderwebs in a very crowded city, down a very crowded street, without drawing attention.

“Is that Spider-Man?”

“Who’s he chasing?”

“God that costume’s stupid looking!”

That comment was just hurtful, but it wasn’t as if he had time to stop and argue with a random New Yorker. He perched on the roof of the van as Button Up sped down the street, veering in a way that clued James into the fact he was trying to be shaken off.

He stuck himself to the roof with one hand as he bent over, upside down in front of the windshield. “Use the spray,” he shouted, pointed down at the wipers, “I’m sure that’ll help! Usually gets bugs off!” He gave a thumbs up and Button Up slammed on his brakes. The suddenness of the stop dislodged James from the roof and if it weren't for his reflexes kicking in, he’d have flown headfirst into the street. Instead, he fired off a web and swung himself up onto the side of a building, breathing hard.

The van started moving again as James carefully tried to come up with a plan. He’d not expected to get nearly so far. He couldn’t let Button Up get away! Before he could undoubtedly have his brilliant lightbulb moment, police sirens began blaring in the background. Oh fuck.

He looked around, glad for the mask to hide his panic. Sirens. Sirens. Sirens. James tilted his head. A few blocks out still, it sounded, but that didn’t exactly give him much time-

Time. He threw a panicked glance over his shoulder toward the clock hanging off a department store front. 5:26. Evans. James looked back and the van was...gone. Fuck. The police were closer; the van was gone; he couldn’t be arrested again; Evans was going to kill him.

After a moment of deliberation, James started to websling, throwing around his weight as he flung himself up in the air, higher and higher, quicker and quicker, to get to the museum in time. Evans would make that face at him if he was late, the one that made him want to retract into his own body and wither away. Disappointment.

His heart pounded and James could hear it in his ears, breathing fast and hard and his hands were so sweaty. When he finally caught sight of the museum, a wave of relief washed through his body because not only did he see the museum, but a blur of red hair just turning down the sidewalk.

He was going to be on time. Sweaty. But on time. He swung in closer, aiming for the alley around the corner. Evans wasn’t going to hate him. She’d fall in love with him for knowing the names of all the dinosaurs and they’d get married and have the cutest child and- no. no. no. no. no.

James’ body went ice cold.

The scaffolding over the entrance where workers were taking down a metallic spider.

The giant hunk of metal slipping out of place.

Falling. Falling. Falling.

He didn’t think.

He just moved.

It happened faster than even James could comprehend.

The screaming. The warnings. The panic.

A girl looking up too late.

The spider was too big for James to simply push the girl clear of its path. So he shot a web at her waist and pulled her into his chest, curling around her as he threw both hands up to catch the spider as it fell. (Talk about irony.) The weight of it all sent vibrations down his arms and he couldn’t breathe, too high off adrenaline, couldn’t think.

And then… quiet. People stunned into silence around him on the steps, shocked workers up above, the girl no longer screaming in his arms. James gave a grunt and dropped the spider to the side, let his arms drop.

He panted as he looked down and met a pair of green green eyes. Those eyes. Evans stared up at him in wonderment. Relief. Whatever it was, James wanted to savor the moment.

He cleared his throat, stepped away, put his hands on his hips because that’s what superheroes did right? “Alright, E- Miss?” He forced his voice lower. As low as he could make it. Pretended it didn’t crack when he spoke.

Evans blinked up at him, her shoulders shaking. He loved the coat she wore, it matched her eyes- oh god, she’d been talking. “- I...thank you,” Lily finished, hiccuped. James grinned because no one could see.

Admiration. That was the look in her eyes. He didn’t know what to say.

Sirens picked up volume in the background. Cops and an ambulance, James distinguished. Someone in the crowd had probably called 911. Right. The cops definitely still hated him. His feet did not want to move but after a few seconds of internal wrestling- he could just yank his mask off right, show Evans that he wasn’t an entire jackass- James flicked his wrists and fired off a web.

Then he finally spoke “I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man,” he continued trying to sound like Batman, let the web start to pull him away, “that’s what I’m here for!” God. He needed a better catchphrase. But Evans eyes were still on him and she seemed so adoring that he nearly forgot to fire off another web to keep from landing face first in the street.

He had spidey sense, not common sense.

When he wrapped the corner, he could already hear the chatter from the crowd picking up intensity, the sirens halting as the emergency responders arrived at the museum entrance.

The thought hit him as he landed in an alleyway. Evans was going to think he was so late to their meetup.

Fuck.

112 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Janis & Jimmy

After smacking Mia one (and Jim).

Janis: Soz about the shiner, like Janis: Dunna how to dodge like a decent ref should obvs...you should work on that Janis: But forreal, you're welcome for the time you got to spend in the head's office with a cold press on #schoolboyfantasiesaremadeofthis Jimmy: 🤔 You mean this tiny insignificant scratch like Jimmy: I'd say get the pads out but between you and your nan lately I'm not sure my ego's up for that Jimmy: Your plan all along was it? 👌 she's no type of mine but I appreciate you trying to be a mate 😉 Jimmy: Best bit was Gracie doing her bit to defend my honor at the end there. Maybe I DO owe her one 😂 Janis: Alright, monty python 😂 don't be a hero on my account...oh wait, advice coming too late, my bad 😉 Janis: Ah well, if you're not fancying it like, pal, good thing I'll have her to myself all this week AND next 🙄 thanks mia... now THAT was the real plan all along 😏 Janis: At least you know what her shout is already 👍 though if you could spit in Mia's next, I think she'd take that and call it quits Janis: If you make like Rocky and get steak up on your bruises, I'll get my Da to cook it for ya after, we settled too then, yeah? 😘 Jimmy: Mia's plan 100% 🙄 Am I meant to be offended that she thinks you're a lesbian still? Because I'm taking it as a compliment #prettyboy 😂 Jimmy: Shame I've got too many disciplinaries to have her banned it'd be one less skinny latte to have to expertly craft Jimmy: Maybe. What sides are we talking about? I think one more smack down and I'll be demanding my chips triple cooked Jimmy: Warn your relatives Janis: Assumedly, pretending here her stinging text slams had her intended effect, and didn't just make me fall about, like #facesoprettyyoudontseeascar 🤞 Janis: Ugh, tell your boss to do one, 'cos they'd lose half their business if you did, think on, dickhead 😒 Janis: Know your worth, babe Janis: Gotta respect that Janis: At least my Brother doesn't need to bother fighting you now I beat him to it, ay? Jimmy: Who'd you wanna be, princess (bless Gracie Lou) and basketcase already taken and athlete being the obvious choice 💪 Jimmy: Tempting offer but you can do better Jimmy: Of course that was 1 of the 10! Should've seen that coming Jimmy: Can't lie I'd much rather take you on 😉 Janis: Never seen it 🤷 but boy is Charlie Sheen's bro, yeah? So sounds legit for the family I have to endure 😏 Janis: You're not gonna end up with Grace in the end are ya? 😤 just 'cos you wanna rock the leather fingerless gloves #lewk Janis: I'll never tell 😉 his ego definitely ain't up for that Janis: we can have a rematch any time any place Janis: i'm ready 💪 Jimmy: Me either. Still break you out though. Isn't that what they do? 🤔 I'll ask your sister but not before she gives me of precious bling to take down cash converters Jimmy: My bad boy image has taken too much of a battering, literal, for me to refuse the fashion 😎 Jimmy: Let's go then. There isn't a nurse but I can still play the concussed care and run. Say when. Janis: Probs after some cringe bonding and bants, thank GOD we got that outta the way, mate 😜 Janis: Most of her jewels are from Primark so I dunna how golden your chances are, don't tell anyone like #banginonabudget Janis: What lesson you in anyway? In PE rn so usually you wouldn't get a look-in (you ain't that special, babe) but they got me coaching the first years girls for a fucking team management module and...Give me strength Janis: we talking screaming when the ball comes their way levels Janis: so I'm making them do laps whilst I shout encouragements about how it ain't that cold from my warm as shit coat, like any gym teach worth their salt 😉 Janis: Gonna get an A, like Jimmy: Oh I dunno, you and Mia still need to hug it out 😉 bet she'd love it too 💘 Jimmy: I'm in art of course #tortured soul and everyone knows you're my muse so done deal there. Jimmy: I'd come snapping but I don't need the rep that'd come with background first years in their shorts Janis: I'd sooner watch a thousand chick flicks with Gracie Janis: amongst other fates worse than death Janis: but honestly #whyareyousoobsessedwithmehun? #toolittletoolateforthisloveaffair Janis: That's probably why you're so tortured 😉 Edie Sedgewick I ain't Janis: Nah, that wouldn't help your case, there's only so much bashing that I can be a party to in a day... Janis: I get to swap with Kayleigh Dwyer next period, meant to go write up about my experience but sure I can as easily do that wherever you need to get your inspiration from, like Jimmy: 😂 it's the curse of being so #goals, hun Jimmy: I don't have a clue who that is but like I've said before you take a decent picture. Now don't get a big head (it'd fuck with my framing terrible) but it isn't half bad being stuck with you Jimmy: There is always Mia's 🦆 pout if you're really busy but like Jimmy: Since you aren't I'm thinking back to mine? Twix will happily hear about any of your running or ball based experiences Janis: Kayleigh? Rude, she sits next to you in English, the one drooling all over you and the desk? Bless her, she'll be devvo 😂 Janis: I forgot you haven't had an Ali McKenna education, she was Andy Warhol's main bitch (aside from Basquiat, tea) in all his shit films, Bob Dylan was hard for her too but she weren't really arsed so he wrote Like A Rolling Stone about her Janis: At least you didn't come for my life that hard post-bath Janis: Bad enough like, I'd have to fake my own death forreal then Janis: She'd fucking love that...do her dirty in the edit, boo, no facetune 😂 Janis: A girl after my own heart that dog, kindred spirts 😍 Janis: sounds good, always down for being out of this dump Janis: your Da's unlikely to pop back for lunch, yeah? Jimmy: I've been calling her Kourtney #awkward Jimmy: Bet she loves it anyway Jimmy: Speaking of, I still have that project to finish up (deadlines long enough to hang yourself with cheers ms sheppard) might dedicate some space on that edit to the lot of them. Fancy helping as well as inspiring? 😈 Jimmy: #satireorshadeisit? Jimmy: Good. Keep the lovefest away from me. Last thing I need is Twix licking my wounds Jimmy: Packed up his sarnies myself so we're set Janis: The KardashiKlan clout, everyone knows she's the CLASSIEST sister, SO fitting 😂 Janis: Can't be anything but a sweetheart, can you? N'awwh! Janis: Hell yeah, you clearly need my talents for cuntery, you bring the skillz, I'll bring my winning personality and large head, like Janis: How fucking rude though, tell her to keep her antiseptic spit to herself 💅 #menaintshitbabygirl #imsorryyouhadtolearnthislessonsosoon Janis: Like I said, you're just too good for this world 😇 Janis: Maybe I'll find the time between being a muse and bad influence to make you one Janis: Its no steak apology but Jimmy: 👍 Too right Jimmy: Maybe if we take the mad bitch out she won't chew a hole in anyone's face (tempting as that'd be if it was any of Mia's squad) been enough facial damages sustained for one day Jimmy: Get some very #aesthetic shots for my A Jimmy: 😇 Always on that good boy track Jimmy: Maybe I can shout you a pie and pint in that spirit Janis: Goes without saying, need the skirting and your Da's shoes to be safe for another day Janis: Should bin off the rest of the day altogether, then you could take Twix to pick the kiddo's up, Cass would be made up getting to show her off Janis: you always after those best big bro points, I know Janis: and I know it, you always want me to protest too much the other way like 😈 Janis: wholesome afternoon of dog walking and homework with bae, no wonder the entire female population of the school is so jealous 😉😘 Jimmy: Did you just have a good idea? 😮 Jimmy: But yeah world's most bog standard bro coming through 🏆💪 get that middleschool clout cass 😎 Jimmy: We just can't stop being #goals however hard we try. Damn 😘 Janis: Don't sound so surprised dickhead! I'm a wealth of cunning plans or have you forgotten Janis: Didn't hit you that hard Janis: Now who's being modest Jimothy 😊 you know you're bestest Janis: whoda thunk it, bitch, not I Jimmy: Been a while can't blame me 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Cute Jimmy: How will I survive the aft? Janis: We can go back there if you really pining Janis: and I'M the one who's sexuality is always in question Janis: #fakebaebetterthanarealone Janis: Ha ha, keep testing me and you might not Jimmy: You'd never make it. Can't get enough of me 💋 Jimmy: If you'd rather be in school doing their tests don't let me stop you 😏 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Told you i'm bad Janis: 😑 Janis: bet you break before i do Janis: we'll see how bad you are, won't we Jimmy: Last shift's 💶 on it Janis: Done Janis: I've got my eye on some new kicks Janis: At least even when you lose you can still pretend you treated me 😜 Jimmy: When you lose you can pretend you don't need a man to treat you Jimmy: so many #s in that for you Janis: Imma win when I PROVE I don't need you to treat me as much as you need me to treat you, sucka! Janis: and there ain't no point in nothing if it doesn't make your 'gram captions pop off #truerwordsneverspoken Jimmy: We'll see Jimmy: so soon too ⏲ Janis: you started your countdown already, boy? Janis: keeeeeeeen Jimmy: Not ready? Shame Janis: Born ready Janis: Admittedly, got the upper hand, nothing sexy about first year girls, despite what some fourth year boys might believe Janis: you surrounded by all them loose af art hoes Jimmy: How rude of me not to pull all your focus Jimmy: yep, those blunt fringes really get me goin Janis: Well s'why I know I got the W in the bag 🤷 Janis: Called that in the air Janis: whip off those unnecessary nerd glasses and there's real beauty under there Janis: #hotdamn Jimmy: For a rom com hater you've got all the cliches down 😂 Jimmy: Quietly confident now. That shit won't help you off screen 🏆💪 Janis: Oh, you don't recall how pushy my sister is? Janis: Let's call this off rn and she'd be happy to remind you herself I'm sure 😏 Janis: I'm sure you've learnt PLENTY off a whole different typa romcom that is all types of fucked IRL Jimmy: Only if she promises to bring Tam too. I need that model height for my shoot naturally Janis: You really wanna be that letchy photographer stereotype, huh? Janis: Get the whole squad 'round for a sesh Janis: Just know they'll start a # Jimmy: #rolloutladies Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll #bowout of that one thanks Janis: Sure? It'll give you a better chance of winning the bet Janis: #knackered Jimmy: I'd rather lose Jimmy: #takemymoneyandrunaslongasIcancomewith Janis: Sweet talker. Janis: Meant to be me with the gift of the gab 🍀 Jimmy: nope, real talker Jimmy: Got up close and personal enough with Mia today thanks. Still washing these hands Janis: Same, despite what she might think, not something I fancy repeating either Janis: Though I will if she talks shit one more time Janis: So watch out if you don't want the other side to match, like Jimmy: Don't make me say I'll do it all again Jimmy: so many stereotypes already in this chat Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Ew. 💋 Janis: Best get your chat to as high a standard as poss tho, as all the guards and other inmates will be listening in Janis: Reckon's her Da can actually get me done Janis: Bitch be serious Jimmy: Doesn't he sell cars? Janis: Lmao, no Janis: Though he is 100% a used car salesman in aesthetic, you're spot on Janis: He is a lawyer or some shit so he knows realistically who gives a shit about a playground scrap but he'll try and scare my parents like they're fucking idiots so no one is ever mean to his little princess again Janis: That type 🙄 Jimmy: She wants to be a yank so bad it must hurt Jimmy: Remind me to cut my pops so slack next time he's pissing me off Jimmy: could be so much worse Janis: Too bad she's a few hundred years late for the mass migration to the states Janis: Only looking famished, like Janis: Same, wouldn't hate being as spoilt as she is but you know Jimmy: Yep, too bad you'll be waiting for those kicks Jimmy: 🎅's your best bet Jimmy: Not too late to back out 😏 Jimmy: Keep on his good side Janis: No chance Janis: I can keep him on side by keeping away from yours, simple 😜 Jimmy: You sure? There's literally songs about how much he loves 💋 Jimmy: I think he'll be mad if you don't cave Janis: 💋 for him from MILFs maybe Janis: I don't think it'll pain him to see you go without Janis: I see no mistletoe, like #demstherules Jimmy: 👌 Bet stays on Jimmy: Take your chances Janis: Way to make me sound more predatory than the big man 😲😂 Janis: If you're that scared, we can mark it down to a lose for you by default 😉 Jimmy: Not when I'll have you begging for a draw in a bit. Easy Jimmy: Just get ready to accept your loss, not reason we should both be sore Jimmy: #bruisedandbattered Janis: Pretty cocky for a boy who can't even promise A FEW bruises, like 😜 Jimmy: Waste of a 🤞 Jimmy: why talk about it when I can just do it Janis: As long as you start it, I'm allowed to finish it Janis: win win for me 😊 Jimmy: Cocky for a lass who hasn't won anything against me yet Janis: 😡 Janis: it wasn't a fair fight all those other times, thank you very much Jimmy: Maybe you were faking the skills as well as the 💕 Jimmy: awwh Janis: You won't be finding out any time soon Janis: ✌ Jimmy: So you keep saying, all talk I think 😂 Janis: All talk no action is right Janis: Prick 🖕😂 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: You're about me Jimmy: unlucky ☘ Janis: Shh Janis: Not all bad, I suppose, at least you've got a cute dog 😘 Jimmy: good point, what a you offering? first year having an asthma attack? 😂 #goals Janis: I never said I had anything worth sticking 'round for Janis: More fool ye for your 😍 Jimmy: Secret's safe. I won't tell Mia Janis: I think she's pretty confident she knows where she and I lie on the pecking order already 😂 Janis: not coming for her 👑 Jimmy: just her 👃 Janis: What can I say? Save daddy the surgery fees Jimmy: you're the 😇 you think I am Janis: it has been said Janis: oh wait, no it hasn't, ever 😂 Jimmy: Only because 🐶 can't speak Janis: The love is so real Janis: Its all the treats and walkies, maybe I'll have to employ the same technique on you when the bet is up Janis: Worth a shot 🎯 Jimmy: Start now #worthashot #haveyoubeentricked? 😂 Janis: I'm not quite as easy to distract as Twix Janis: All these dog comparisons, bit rude tbh, don't think I appreciate Janis: Will piss on your boots tho Jimmy: Unless we're playing pool or darts Jimmy: Make sure they're mine. My dad has only just replaced his Janis: Wasn't even you, it was pub lighting and a prick munching on his crisps too loud at the bar #dontflatterlike Janis: Will do 👍 I'm not looking to make him dislike me anymore than I already have lol Jimmy: #surejan Jimmy: least he's never about so no drama there. Been enough for one day Janis: #ihateu Janis: what's he even do, like? dead busy Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Warehouse Jimmy: Very much #goals Janis: Ah fun, lots of shitty shifts and long days like, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt too for being such a prick about poor Twix then Jimmy: Probably shouldn't. He bought her Janis: True...People never think how big a commitment a dog is though Janis: Twix be giving them puppy dog eyes like a pro Jimmy: before 🎄 too though what a prick Jimmy: can't even use the excuse Janis: Bleh Janis: Shoulda clued him in like 😉 #cuffed Jimmy: if I'd known he was going to do it I would've Jimmy: done now though Janis: Yeah, its just another stress you don't need, like? 😕 Jimmy: Snagged me you so maybe she's worth keeping about 😏 Jimmy: Because yeah she does take all the credit Janis: Smooth 😋 Janis: Can't go breaking my heart now, nor the kiddo's for that Janis: I can start taking her out again in the mornings, don't miss much 'bout dem days but it was decent having a running buddy Jimmy: Fancy some company or you wanna be alone with your true love? Janis: You reckon you can keep up, yeah? Janis: Not having you slowing me down 😉 Jimmy: Can't be using me as your excuse thanks 💪 Jimmy: maybe I'll come with then when I'm not working, leave you in no doubt Janis: Its a date, mate Jimmy: 💕 Janis: That's probably them more than sufficiently warmed up Janis: Get back to work, slacker 💚 Jimmy: 🎨📷 will do Jimmy: not too hard though, gotta keep my 💪 up for the victory party you'll owe me Janis: In your dreams, baby 💋 Jimmy: see you there 😘

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idealisticrealism · 8 years ago

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Blindspot 2x20 recap

(Aka the one where the team pulls a prison break and a few big secrets are revealed)

This is one of those episodes that improves upon rewatching (possibly due to being too traumatised the first time around). And with so much of the story revolving around badass ladies, what’s not to love??

So, here’s installment #2 for this week. Enjoy.

Ughhh my baby Zapata is having her mugshot taken and I’m super conflicted about it bc on one hand I’m so worried for her but on the other all I can think is that she looks like a freakin’ model and ugh this is too much for me rn. And ugh she’s being shut up behind bars and she looks so little in her orange jumpsuit and everyone else looks so mean and angry and ugh my precious cupcake ughhh. And oooh here’s Ronda, and it’s actually so weird to see her meekly handing over her toothbrush bc her irl fighting persona is always so (ง'̀-‘́)ง and just ready to throw down at all times. I love her little jibe about the other chick needing the toothbrush more tho haha– maybe not quite as meek as I thought. And then awww Zapata is like 'here, friend’ and offers her another toothbrush and gets totally brushed off (heh). But dammit Ronda– I mean, Devon– that was just plain rude to my baby, she’s only trying to make friends, c’mon

Ugh speaking of my babies, Jane is being super adorable and talking about needing to fix the radiator (*cough* Weller could probably do it *cough*) so Roman could get a good night’s sleep and ugh she sounds so chipper and I very much believe that she slept very well with some very pleasant dreams (basically playing out the plot of Uninterrupted, lbr) and ughhh she’s on such a high and then sigh Roman brings it crashing down by bringing up The Emma Secret. I’m emotional over the fact it’s tearing him up this much to keep it from Weller though– shows he really isn’t the same as Old Roman. And ugh Jane knows he’s right but she also feels even more trapped by it than she did before, bc since Roman has been allowed out she knows that it will only look worse that she held this back and ughhh she and Weller are in such a good place rn and she so desperately doesn’t want to ruin that, even though she knows she has to 'fess up and do the right thing and ugh my poor baby I don’t like your choices but I can understand them, and I know you are heading for a whole lot of pain and ugh can’t I fix this for you both somehow please

Speaking of my handsome munchkin (who I bet also slept extremely well last night, and possibly even had to do some early morning laundry because of it), Weller has called Patterson into his office because he has reports of her not going home at night– and lollll her sputtering indignation is so priceless. Genius she may be, actor she is not. And he tells her that her keycard log gave her away, which raises two points for me: first, surely she would be smart enough (and obviously have the skills) to erase those logs so no one would find out? Unless she was just too frazzled, idk. And secondly, has Weller taken on the role of checking all the logs so he can spot anyone coming and going who shouldn’t be? Silently watching over his team and his office? Ugh my beautiful protective son. And then he’s so gentle when he asks her what’s going on and reminds her that she has to trust her team and learn how to delegate, because they need her. And she gets in a huff and goes to leave like an angsty teen, but he tells her to wait and follows her and ugh Weller please hug her. Please. But instead he tells her they have to look after themselves and asks her to go see Dr Sun. Damn, would have preferred the hug. But sidenote at least we know that they know about Zapata already? Phew. They’ll get her out, I know it.

Oooh Jane arrives at the bullpen looking nervous, and Weller is literally one of the first people she sees. Ugh and she’s almost a little breathless as she says 'hey, Kurt’ (ugh the first name thing still gets me, though I love that she also still uses 'Weller’) and he’s all cool like *nods* 'Jane’, and her breath comes out on a tiny almost-chuckle which I am very much going to assume is related to the fact that they’re being all cool and casual when like 12 hours ago they very nearly made out with each other’s faces and then proceeded to spend the whole night dreaming about it. But she avoids that topic and asks about Zapata instead, which means she’d already been briefed on it before even getting to work… and then aaahhh they’re literally making small-talk, with Weller asking her about how things with Roman are going (bet he regrets letting him out a little just bc now he can’t come over for private time at Jane’s haha) and she admits she’s worried about Roman, about how he only ever sees the NYO and the safehouse and ugh I get where she’s coming from but also honey don’t be asking for too much too fast… and then omg this takes an unexpected direction when Weller literally seems to have a lightbulb moment and invites them both over for dinner tonight. Omg. This is literally a date under the guise of a friendly dinner. It’s a date-plus-chaperone. And wow Jane goes from surprised and delighted to terrified to faux-happily accepting all in the space of a second, and then as he tells her the time and turns away, her 'sure’ is barely more than a whisper, her hands moving awkwardly like she literally doesn’t know what to do with herself because shit, she can’t do this, she can’t keep this from him any longer bc in that split second when he suggested dinner she wanted it SO BADLY but she knows she can’t have that connection between her and him/him and Roman until she’s honest with him, and so now a deadline has been put in place. There is never going to be a 'best time’, so the time is today. She’ll tell him today. And ugh as she watches him walk away, she’s completely and utterly terrified that the next time he walks away from her it’ll be for good…

Ugh I love prisons. Why do places that represent such awful things fascinate me so much?? Well, okay, because of my eternal love of Prison Break, obviously. But still. They’re just interesting. And speaking of interesting, Zapata’s about to step into a fight between Devon and the Boss Lady. Boss Lady gets in a good first punch, and Devon looks like she’s about to get her ass beaten, when Zapata walks straight into the Boss and is all 'you’re in my way’. Ooooooh man she may be tiny but she got biiiig balls. But then aaaahhh Boss Lady is kicking her ass and nooooo my babyyyyy I don’t want to see thisssss. She and Devon actually start doing a pretty good job of holding their own, though, and I’m personally really kinda enjoying seeing them team up and kick butts. Oh hold on, Boss Lady is named Liz. That’s easier. Also man the whole no-snitching thing is such an interesting culture– everyone else present knows who’s responsible, but doesn’t say a word, even when they lose their yard time too. And oooohhh noooo Weller’s here to visit now and ughhhh the stunned look on his face when he sees her injuries and the slightly ashamed but also defiant look on hers when she sits down. Aaaaarghhh. And he’s all “what the hell happened” because he’s Mr Protective and hates to see his family getting hurt and ughhhhh. And then lol I love how the camera zooms in as he looks around, telling us that he’s about to reveal a secret. And he does– turns out, this whole thing is all their own plan. And then we get a flashback to the bar– and wait hold on, that was 72 hours ago?? Dammit, that means we actually missed the cutely-awkward morning-after-almost-kissing Jeller interactions? Ugh I’m so bummed. Ah well, I’m going to assume it just involved a lot of quick, shy smiles and carefully keeping their conversation limited to Zapata and other safe topics. But omg okay I’m over my disappointment now bc ughhh in the flashback Weller’s getting teased by the others for offering to pay for the next round– which apparently he never does? I’m kinda surprised by that. Also I feel like they’re a little past round three rn lol. And ugh Jane defends him by saying he bought her drinks once– when she had no money and no ID. And wait this needs to slow down because I have many questions???? When was this drinks-buying?? Who else was there?? And does this mean she now DOES have ID? What name is on it?? And lbr who would think she was underage anyway? Surely no one would bother to card her. But ugh the main takeaway from this moment is that HER HAND IS ON HIS SHOULDER AS SHE SPEAKS. UNNECESSARY AND LINGERY TOUCHING, MY FRIENDS, AND SO RECENTLY AFTER THE ALMOST-KISSING. THERE IS NOTHING UNINTENTIONAL OR INNOCENT ABOUT THAT. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. And then ugh Patterson gets a text with details from one of the shredded Sandstorm documents– she’s found a new name, a new Sandstorm member for them all to track.

So now they’re all at the NYO, wearing the same clothes, and all I can think about is all of them sharing an Uber to get there lol and I so want to imagine Weller and Jane squished up against each other in the backseat with Zapata smirking on Jane’s other side and deliberately taking up as much room as she can, but I feel that logically it would have been the three ladies in the backseat and Weller in the front. Sigh, logic sucks. Anyway they look at the details they found on Devon, who was arrested for weapons smuggling, most likely for Sandstorm. Weller wants to bring her in, but Jane says she won’t talk if they do– so she offers to go undercover instead. Nice thought, honey, but given that you’re kinda the heir to the Sandstorm throne, this is one undercover op you can’t do. And ughhh Zapata’s got her determined face on and says 'let me in, Coach’ and ugh she brushes aside his objections and tells him they need to step things up if they want to get ahead, and ugh he doesn’t like it but looks at Jane and she looks back at him and even without a single word exchanged he knows she agrees with Zapata and so he gives in. Ugh my amazing in-tune babies. But because he’s Weller, he’ll only allow it if there’s safety measures in place, because he needs to protect her any way he can. And so no one– not even the arresting officers– know that this is a sting. So what did they have her arrested for though?? They must have made something up, bc it totally wouldn’t be the Coach Jones thing. There’d be no way to wipe that slate clean. But anyhow back in the present, Weller is still very unhappy about her not calling for help, and she’s all 'dude I started that fight on purpose and could have ended it in a heartbeat if I wanted to’ and ugh he’s so uncomfortable about it and worried about the consequences and tells her he’s pulling the plug– but she calls him out bc they both know they’ll never get another shot at Devon if they stop now. Remember what I said about that understanding she and Weller have? This is a good example of that. He doesn’t concede, though, just compromises, because he’s still the boss and looking after his family is still his #1 priority, even above Sandstorm. And then aaahhh Zapata gets back to her cell and finds her bed on fire, and one inmate tells her she’s lucky that they waited til she wasn’t in it. Daaamn. I think my baby knows now that Weller was right. I bet she wishes she had him (or probably Jane instead, lbr) in here with her rn, someone she knows has her back, someone that would keep her from feeling afraid. Ugh my poor sweet baby is in over her heaaaaddd

Ugh Weller walks back into the bullpen and Jane immediately looks up from her screen and asks him how Zapata is doing. Sidenote though: do these guys not have allocated desks, because Weller’s team just seems to sit anywhere. Maybe they can do that bc they’re the elite lol, everyone else just gives up their spot at a single look from one of the Super Squad. It’s probably considered an honour. But also, what is on her screen rn?? It’s a picture of some kind of room, maybe a kitchen, bc it looks like there’s cabinets or something? Are there cameras in her safehouse and she’s watching over Roman? Surely not, right?? Ugh idk. But anyway Weller tells her that Zapata is as bullheaded as ever, and now hmmm, who does that remind me of lol? And ugh Jane stands but can only nod in response, and then when he heads for his office she takes a deep breath and follows. Oohhhhhhh boyyyyyy. It’s happening. Good luck, honey. And lol I love that Weller is very confused when he finds Jane silently following him into the office, but his first question is if she’s okay. I wonder if he thinks she’s coming to talk about ~them~, especially when she tells him there’s something she’s been meaning to talk to him about? But then ughhh she says it’s about Roman and she looks so terrified, standing there behind the chair, holding onto it like it could protect her and oh man her heart must be racing rn bc she knows how huge this is, and how easily it could destroy them, and ugh she’s so terrified to lose him but she can’t keep lying and so she just says it with tears in her eyes and ugh Weller looks like she just slapped him and she rushes to explain and to defend Roman but Weller is fixated on how long she’s known, how long she’s kept it from him. And ughhhh has it really already been a few weeks? Crap that really is bad. Dammit, Jane, you should have never let more than a few days go by. A few days to process is understandable. A few weeks must seem like deliberate deceit and ugh I can’t deal with the way his face crumples when she tells him that, like it’s almost the worst part of the whole thing and he physically steps back from her and holy shit Sully is killing it because I have actual tears in my eyes watching this scene (and he certainly has them in his) and ugh her voice is getting higher and faster as she desperately tries to explain, and he’s still so silent, reeling, until suddenly he just explodes and advances on her, accusing her of lying to him to protect Roman, to get him released from his cell, and she swears that it was HIM she was trying to protect and ugh she’s telling the truth (yes, she wanted to protect Roman, but I do believe she was trying to find a way to spare Weller this heartbreak too) and she tries to tell him that but he just turns away and she knows he won’t be able to believe it and ugh he tells her she has breached their trust 'as friends’ (mmmm-hmmmm, because that’s all they are) and ughhhh they’re both so close to crying as she apologises again and he tells her that she’s also cost them a lead they could have been following and ugh she tries to fix it by saying she’ll work with Roman and Dr Sun to bring out more details of who else is involved but maaan that was the wrong thing to say and he basically forbids her from doing any such thing and then kicks her out of his office and ughhhhh when he turns away he’s working so hard to hold back the tears and I’m headcanoning that he immediately finds something breakable and dispensable that he can destroy while Jane heads straight for the most deserted spot in the NYO (lbr she knows where all the hiding places are) and just sobs because she must feel like history is repeating and she’s lost him for good this time and she hates herself for doing what she did but she was torn in so many different directions– protecting Weller, protecting Roman, protecting herself– that it all just got away from her and then it was too late and ughhhhh my baby needs a huuuuggggg

Nawww Zapata’s sitting all alone– conveniently at the table closest to the door where people walk in with their meals– when Devon sits down with her and ugh I am kinda really hoping they actually become friends? And ugh I love that we get to hear Zapata talking with an accent again, and telling her fake backstory, but lol honey don’t lay it on too thick about not being a snitch and being loyal to your people and all that haha. And then dude why would you ask about the scar, you don’t wanna seem like you’re prying… but actually it doesn’t seem to matter, bc Devon is actually kinda more wide-eyed and innocent than I expected? Like she’s not all hardened-criminal, which is a surprise. She just admitted some pretty identifying details which I feel like most wouldn’t do. And ugh Liz walks in and Devon and Zapata look at each other like two little nerdy kids who know the bully is about to come for their lunch money and ugh I know they’re both way better in a fight than I am but I still just want to like pull them behind me and protect them lol

Oh dear. Patterson is having some computer troubles, and it turns out that one of her lil lackeys– Stuart– installed an OS update on half the computers, meaning that half are now pretty much useless for a day, which reaaaally pisses her off. Lucky Weller has just arrived, though, so he can defuse the situation before it turns into something unpleasant. Poor Stuart basically runs away, looking like he needs a change of pants. Poor guy. I like him. Hope the update was an honest error and not some sneaky Sandstorm thing. Ugh and then Patterson just launches into her spiel about the intel Zapata sent, not even noticing the crazy amount of tension that fills the room when Jane walks in. Ugh it hurts me how Jane hesitates, looking at Weller, as if she’s trying to figure out if she’s welcome or should leave. But he doesn’t make an indication for her to get out– just turns away– so the two of them just stand either side of Patterson and avoid looking at each other. Patterson’s found the owner of the gun range Devon used to work at, and they wonder if he is also the boyfriend– even though he’s like twenty years her senior. Surely not, though, because she’s just far too pretty to be with a grizzled old thing like him. I much prefer the thought that her boyfriend might be Sandstorm. Weller gives Patterson the order to have the guy brought in, then walks out without a word to Jane– and ugh the defeated look on her face as she turns to leave via the other exit hurts me. Meanwhile Patterson finally picks up on the weirdness– I mean, with just the three of them left of the team, it’s kinda hard not to notice when the two of them that are normally joined at the hip can barely look at one another…

Ugh they’ve brought the guy in but Weller is interrogating him alone. This is normally the exact kind of suspect he would want Jane there for, since dudes (well, everyone, but dudes in particular) tend to like opening up to her. And okay he’s not the boyfriend– he also mentions she was a teenager when she worked for him eight years ago?? Which means Devon is literally around my age at the very oldest, and possibly younger? Ugh this messes with my life view a little bit haha. But oooh he remembers her boyfriend– skinny, pale, cold blue eyes, hell of a shot– and for a moment I’m like ‘wait, Roman??????’ (Bc honestly that’s actually a pair I could get behind) but then nope, Weller shows him a picture of Parker and the guy confirms it’s him. Really?? Really??? Parker is so slimy and strange-looking and unlikable and Devon is so gorgeous and kickass and awesome?? I don’t agree with this match at all, but then again I will admit I am biased bc I’ve definitely got a girl-crush on Ronda and think she’s totally gorgeous so maybe I’m not the best judge. Ugh. Well, I guess if he makes her happy… also lol now Weller and Jane and Patterson are in the bullpen and Weller and Jane are standing waaay further apart than they normally would, and though Jane looks at him when she speaks, he refuses to look at her. Sigh, my babies. But anyway, now their initial plan has changed– instead of just getting to Devon, they need to use Devon to get to Parker.

Zapata’s on it; offering her phone if Devon wants to call him. Naww, look at these two being buds now. But then oh shit Liz comes with her gang, and someone shanks Devon in the gut. I literally shouted 'noo!!’– and okay lol I think I am maybe a bit too attached to this random guest character. Damn girl-crush. But ughhh Zapata yelling for help is so heart-wrenching, ugh my baby. And then she calls the team later and ugh I love that Jane is using the phone call as an excuse to stand close to Weller (I understand honey, I’d take what I could get too) and lol I also love Patterson’s “Why would you do that?!?” when Zapata says she picked a fight with one of the other inmates. Weller wants to pull them both out but Zapata refuses, saying that will tip Devon off that something is going on, but he doesn’t care, he only wants his friend safe ugh. But omg Zapata’s like 'let me get her out another way’ and Patterson’s 'you mean, besides with permission??“ hahahaha. Yes, honey. That’s exactly what she means. And oooooh this means two of my fave shows are now coming together, because this is totally about to be a prison break woooo. And ugh "I’m not asking you for permission, I’m asking you for help’. Sigh, poor Weller. He’s really being put through hell by his angels today…

Ooooohhh Roman’s in the gym, being watched very closely by his detail (god I hope at least one of them isn’t straight so they can get some entertainment out of this) and oh boy Weller’s walkig in and removing his watch and his tie and uhhhhhhh buddy, the way you’re holding that tie looks a little like you’re about to strangle Roman with it, and you know that that’s a thing you really shouldn’t do, right?? Right??? But thankfully the tie goes away (the camera peeps probably just didn’t want it dangling in Luke’s face in the shot haha) and he offers to spot Roman, then a moment later tells him that Jane came to see him and told him the truth and Roman’s eyes just flicker a little bit like he knows some kind of punishment has to be coming and he’s okay with it. And then Weller pushes down on the bar, pressing it into Roman’s chest, and his detail are all like 'Sir??’ because their entire job is to protect Roman but what are they supposed to do when the person Roman needs protecting from is the boss that gave them the order in the first place?? And ugh Roman apologises and says he should have told him right away and ughhhh Weller asks if she suffered (lbr what kind of idiot would say yes to that) and ughhhhh this is so intense and then suddenly Weller lifts the bar up (ooohh, nice muscles) and puts it back on the rack thing before walking away– but Roman halts him, apologising and telling him he’s not that person anymore since Shepherd erased his memory– and oooh Weller did you just remember that you yourself have forced Jane to lie to someone she cares about?? Mmmm-hmmm, maybe you shouldn’t get too settled on your high horse, given that you were the one that convinced her lying to someone was okay for the right reasons… And then ugh Roman says he understands if he has to go back in the cell, but he asks him not to blame Jane, that she was just trying to do the right thing, and ughhhh I love this sibling bond. They care about each other so muuuuchhh and I believe Roman totally knows how she feels about Weller and just ugh. Weller is still all *angry face* tho and strides out and ugh why must the writers hurt us all like this

Back in the bullpen, Jane and Patterson are going over some details as Weller heads back towards his office, and since Jane can’t exactly say 'hey Patterson, can you call Weller over’ she just steels herself and calls out to him, only faltering slightly when he glares daggers in her direction, before stomping up there like a grumpy bear. Patterson can clearly see the tension now– like Jane actually seems to be legitimately afraid of him rn, which is all kinds of wrong and she knows that something has dfinitely happened. She rolls with it well though– doesn’t really have much other choice– and takes them through the escape plan. And ugh the fact that the infirmary is key to the escape and that they will get out the door by cutting the power is making me kind of emotional. And Weller snarks that there has to be a backup generator, and Jane answers that it’s old and takes a while to kick in. Duh, son, I mean they have been going right through this plan together while you were off terrorizing your future brother-in-law. And ugh just now was the first time he’s looked directly at her since they were in his office and ugh I’m emotional about ittttt

Lolllll Zapata has made a mini-taser from her flip phone and idk why but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Like yeah okay, show, I’ll just take your word for this one. I love that she just tases one guard and then is able to get Devon out. Good thing the girl wasn’t hard to convince. And loollll Weller’s doing a little more roleplay this week, this time as an electrician, getting all awkward as the guard literally stands over his shoulder. And lollll he starts to cough all over his flashlight and then asks the guard to hold it for him, brushing the cough off as nothing and probably not whooping cough like his kids have got. Well that’s what you would get for not vaccinating your fake-kids, fake-electrician Weller! His ploy works entertainingly well though (my boy ain’t dumb, though it seems like the guard is) and the guy all but runs away, leaving him to it. Patterson and Jane are out in a van nearby, and she tells him to look for a labelled switch. Except there’s none of either. Just wires. And they’re seriously running out of time, bc Zapata and Devon are already approaching the door. Patterson works some magic and Weller cuts the right wires– but the two ladies run into Liz and one of her lackeys (I love Patterson’s "This is very not ideal” and Jane’s “No, get to the fence” commentary as they watch on the monitor lol) and then ugh Zapata and Devon go full badass and have a huge showdown with the other inmates and daaamn I love watching kicakass women fight?? And they get out the door just before the power comes back on (man that was a quick three minutes) and are heading striaght for the live fence– but Jane has their backs. She’s outside the van with a massive gun, shooting the crap out of the backup generator just seconds before the two of them hit the fence. Ugh I’m so proud of her. The two are over and out in moments (shouldn’t there be guard towers or something tho?) and Zapata cleverly lets Devon drive, making her think she’s in charge. Weller and Jane follow in the van, listening into the women’s conversation over the comms as Zapata gently manoeuvres Devon into leading them to a Sandstorm hideout. I’m already so sad for the moment Devon finds out this was all a trap bc I really think she already considers Zapata a true friend and ugh I just really like her okay

And then ughhhh Weller starts to tell Jane about talking to Roman (Patterson has headed back to the NYO so they’re alone in the van) and Jane acknowledges his anger but asks him to direct it at her, not at Roman, and he almost laughs at that– ah the mayhem twins, each always trying to protect the other. He has a sister too; he can understand it. But he’s determined to be angry at both. She reminds him that, like her, Roman isn’t the same person he was before the zipping, and asks Weller to look past his previous mistakes the way he did with her. But uhhhh Jane, Weller isn’t in love with Roman. So the two situations can never be the same. Ugh but the way her voice breaks and she looks down as she begs him to give Roman another chance?? And ughhh the tears in his eyes when he tells her about losing Emma, losing the only other person who was as affected as he was by the loss of Taylor, how alone he felt, and now the realisation that she was killed because of her connection to him— that’s the real source of his anger. It’s pain, not only at Jane’s lies, but at the fact that he now has to live with Emma’s death on his conscience as well as Taylor’s. Jane quietly tells him she knows how that feels, because she does– and seriously writers, putting in that Mayfair flashback was super unnecessary. Trust me, none of us have forgotten. And hell, some of us are still holding onto hope of her being alive, so keep that traumatising junk to yourself. But ugh Jane comforts him an promises him that they’re going to get Shepherd, who he’s realising is the real person he should be angry at right now. And let’s not forget, he said himself just a week or two ago that Roman was merely a soldier following the orders of a monster. If he meant that then, he has to believe it now. I mean, I can totally see how hard it would be to focus all that pain on someone firmly out of your reach when a convenient scapegoat– two, in fact– are right there in front of you, but Weller’s not the same guy who arrested Jane that night without giving her a chance to explain or defend herself. He’s learned and grown, and this time instead of turning from her, he’ll turn to her, and together they’ll face down the real enemy. And hopefully with a little bit of making out along the way.

Uh oh, Devon’s bleeding is getting worse– though she insists she’s fine– and Zapata dials up the pressure, asking her how her boyfriend would feel if something happened to her and he could have prevented it. And Devon gives in, calling him and ugh when she says she’s being helped by a friend, Zapata looks away bc she totally feels guilty and ugh my babies I just want you to be BFFs okay?? Parker gives her a place to meet, and Weller gets Patterson to send a team there. Except then Devon pulls into a scrap metal yard and Zapata’s all ??? and Jane immediately tells Weller when the tracker goes off-course, who immediately knows that things aren’t good. They’re only two miles away, but that might still be too late… And then Zapata’s like 'oh shit’ bc Parker is meeting them there instead– Devon used a code when she mentioned that the car should be turned into scrap metal– and so she quickly puts the phone in her boobs, which all women know is the best place for phones to be kept safe. And ugh she knows that the moment she steps out of the car she might be shot and ugh I’m so worried for her, and also miffed that Parker gets to hug Devon like I bet this random actor guy is super excited about getting to play Ronda’s bf (grumble grumble) and ugh anyway Zapata gets out and Devon is all happy to introduce her friend but he’s just like “Special Agent Zapata” and lol I love that he uses her title?? He could have just said her name. I approve of him being respectful tho haha. But ugh then he pulls a gun on her, which is not very respectful, and Devon looks upset that Zapata tricked her (nooooo please still be friends) and Zapata fights back (nice shot to the balls there, girl. I strongly approve) but gets knocked out and ughhhh where are they taking her and what are they doing to her and ugh Jeller arrive too late and then Patterson directs them to where the phone last had a signal and ughhhh Parker is going to use Zapata to lure Weller and Devon looks so sad and ugh can we steal her like we did with Jane and Roman? She could totally be on our side…

Uh oh. Patterson is trying to turn Zapata’s phone back on– and thus find her and possibly save her life– and her computers start glitching up again, and oh dear Stuart is right in the firing line, and ugh the poor guy didn’t know that they’re supposed to do a bugcheck before installing a new update and omg she literally grabs him and shoves him into a wall and in a way it’s almost comical bc he’s like a lot taller than she is but it’s also super sad bc she’s convinced he’s working for Sandstorm or something and when she’s all “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR??” (Ask him three times, honey, then he’ll have no choice but to tell you the truth) and he says “I work for you! I’m sorry!” and ughhh he’s such a terrified lil puppy and everyone else is watching in shock and then she suddenly realises what she’s doing and legit bails from the room?? Like uh honey your team does still need you…? And then Weller tries to contact her, and who takes the reins but Stuart, telling him that Patterson had to step away (such loyalty ugh) but that Zapata’s phone came back on and he sends them the blueprints of the place. Atta boy Stuart! And Jane shows Weller the blueprints and he tells her that when the team arrives he wants her to take half and enter via the walkway to the second floor, and he’ll take the other half via the front. She’s surprised, questioning whether they shouldn’t just go in together like usual, but he shakes his head and tells her that she’s the only one he trusts out there, and ugh he looks her in the eye as he says it and she’s the one that has to look away bc she doesn’t feel deserving of it after what she did and ughhhh save me from this helllllll

Ugh they get to the location and Weller sees the blood in the trunk and ugh he must be so worried for her and he and Jane both immediately split up and take command of their individual teams– I looooove seeing trained FBI agents follow Jane’s command ugh, and she even seems to know at least some of them by name ugh– and Weller reminds his team to take all suspects alive and ughhhh this is so totally a trap and I’m worried. And then omg Zapata screams Weller’s name and god it just makes your heart stop. But she’s okay; she’s just tied to a chair on a tiny little platform– but unfortunately one rigged with explosives. She tells him she doesn’t know where Parker and Devon went, but she sees movement just in time to warn him, and he takes cover as Devon shoots at him. I appreciate that she doesn’t shoot Zapata. Weller pulls some kind of big rolling metal thing to shield both himself and Zapata, and Jane reaches the upper level just in time to draw the baddies’ fire. Trusting her to take care of it, Weller leaves his cover and drags a fridge over to switch out for Zapata– this guy has totally watched a lot of Indiana Jones, hasn’t he. And loooolll she’s almost offended, like 'you think I weigh as much as a fridge???’ and he snarks back that there’s no minifridge around so it’ll have to do haha. And ugh when he tells her his plan– one that could easily get him killed right along with her, she just smiles at him with kinda teary eyes and for once doesn’t argue or give him any crap. She just trusts him, because he’s her family and she knows he’ll do whatever it takes to save her. And Indy would be proud, because the plan works, and they both get to safety. And haha Zapata: 'okay, I guess I weigh as much as a fridge’ hahaha. Well if it’s any consolation, it looked like a really light fridge??

Jane’s lil buddy is going head-to-head with Parker, so Jane takes on Devon, and daaaamn yet another badass lady fight. But it’s an unfair one, bc Jane can’t– won’t– kill her. She manages to pull Devon up as a shield right at the moment Parker shoots, getting Devon in the shoulder, distracting Parker long enough for Weller to get there and take him down. And now they’ve got them both, and ugh I love that Jane is almost hugging Devon, keeping pressure on her wound and preventing her from escaping. Can they become friends too? Devon seemed to know Remi’s name when Parker mentioned it earlier; I wonder if they knew each other before? Would she follow Jane now, like she would have followed Remi then?? Look I just love Devon okay???

Oooh Weller vs Parker in the interview room. Also I am totally digging Weller’s open collar here?Ugh he just looks so cool and in control and that tension he’s been carrying seems to have eased a bit because they are finally getting somewhere, finally in a position to really take Shepherd down and ugh I am so happy for him. But ugh clearly Zapata doesn’t feel the same; she has no time to wait Parker out, she literally wants to torture it out of him right now. Woah, woman, where’s this coming from?? What has made her suddenly so determined to take down Sandstorm asap? Was it the fact that she nearly died today, bc that happens literally almost every day, so…? I mean she is super angry rn and ready to do just about anything to get Shepherd. Maybe the writers just did it this way just so we can see how steady Weller is now, and how much he’s grown and no longer has that temper he used to? But woahhh Zapata is really getting heated and won’t listen when he says no. Oooh maybe it was the fact that Shepherd’s people are now trying to kill him too?? She’s already without Reade, maybe she can’t face the thought of losing another family member. But ugh poor Weller is confused by all this rage coming from her and he keeps trying to get her to rein it in and ugh poor guy must feel like he’s fighting a losing battle just to keep his team afloat– like Reade is already on the bench and Patterson is burning out and now Zapata is losing it too?? And he can’t turn to Jane right now because he’s just pushed her away– and has to deal with his own feelings in regards to that– and ugh seriously man I think you just need to accept that everything’s going to hell and you need Jane by your side in order to get through this…

Speaking of Patterson and her issues, she’s talking with Dr Sun (still feel like his is a bad idea) about the way she snapped in the lab, and Dr Sun is asking of she trusts herself and ugh my baby admits she is always second-guessing herself now and ugh she’s crying because she had no closure with the whole Borden thing and ughhhhhh I am so upset for my precious baby like seriously can Weller just call all his girls together and just all have a really big, really long group hug bc ugh all four of them need it really bad

Oh boy. The locker room. Jeller scenes in this room are always a source of either great joy or great pain and I feel like it’s definitely not going to be the former. I can dream though, right? Maybe he’s decided that despite everything he needs her, and maybe they’ll hug??? Right??? Ugh. But I’m curious as to what Jane is searching for in her pockets? Probably just one of those acting things where they have to look like they’re doing something all the time. And then ugh Weller is there and ugh he just stares at her back for a moment and then walks up to her all slow and takes a deep breath like he’s working himself up to it and then his voice is quiet and almost a little thick as he asks her for a raincheck on that dinner and omg this moment is already killing me bc firstly he didn’t have to ask. He could have just said that the dinner wasn’t happening anymore and walked away– or even said nothing at all, and she would have still known better than to try to show up. And then there’s the fact that he said 'raincheck’ which everyone knows means 'reschedule for another time’– like does this mean that the dinner will eventually happen? Tbh it’s really not feeling like a 'I rescind my invitation forever’ and more 'I can’t deal with everything right now but someday I’ll be ready to pick up where we left off’ and ughhhh my baby boy. Jane is all 'uh, yeah, of course’ because lbr she already assumed his invitation had been voided by what she’d done… like literally this conversation doesn’t even need to be happening rn bc the understanding was clear enough that things aren’t the same as they were this morning, but they’re having it anyway and I am 100% certain because there’s more Weller needs to tell her. And then ugh he says her name and steps closer and she looks up at him all wide-eyed like she’s half afraid his next words will be something like 'I’m arresting Roman’ etc, but she also somehow knows that that’s not gonna be it bc she can hear the vulnerability in his voice and ughhhhh he tells her he knows Roman isn’t the person he was before, just like she isn’t, but he can’t just flip a switch and get over this discovery. And it’s strange but it almost feels like he’s apologising to her for being torn up about it, for letting it get in between them? But of course she’s understanding, because she’s Jane and she loves him more than anything, and ugh she tells him she wishes she could change the past and that she would do a lot of things differently and you just know that the list of things she would change and the list of ways that she has hurt him are pretty much one and the same. And ugh he agrees that he would do things differently too, and man I hope that Jane understands– as we do– that he means arresting her and letting the CIA take her, not that he would change the connection between them or how he feels about her. And ugh he says goodnight and walks out and ughhh her whispered 'goodnight kurt’ and the way she’s like clutching her jacket against herself is just so upsetting and she blinks a few times like she’s trying not to cry and ughhhh why must they go through such paaaaaiiinnnnn

Oooh Zapata has gone to Reade’s, and aww he apologises for not having 'anything stronger’– he must have gotten rid of all the alcohol in the apartment and be really cleaning himself up and ugh I’m so prouddd. And she’s there to vent about work and says she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to (c’mon now, Jane would listen– though then again Zapata knows that Jane would side with Weller on this particular issue) and ugh when Reade tells her she has Weller, she sasses that no one can really talk to Weller– except Jane. Ughhh, they really all do see it. They all know. But I feel like she’s being a bit unfair to Weller– he is actually working really hard to support the team, and would never turn any of them away if they needed to talk. I appreciate that Reade pretty much says the same, but that just starts Zapata on her little tirade about how they’re being held back by dumb things like laws and moral codes and should be fighting dirty instead, and oh boyyy this will end up nowhere good…

Aw, Jane comes home with pizza as Roman is preparing a salad to go with it, and I love that they must have discussed this earlier given that it’s clear she’s only just gotten home from the office. So domestic. And ugh she says how Weller mentioned talking to him and she tries to assure him he’ll come around and ugh Roman doesn’t seem angry but he’s still not very happy either as he says 'I’ll take your word for it’ and ugh I wonder if his chest is bruised from that bar? I wonder how Jane would react if she saw it? I think she’d be upset but he’d be all 'this is how men sort out their problems sis’ and she’d kinda reluctantly accept it, knowing Weller could have done faaaar worse things to him and chose not to. Also sidenote, I never realised that her bedroom opens right up onto the kitchen?? That’s kind of weird. And the doorway is really wide– is there even an actual door on it? That doesn’t feel very private. How are she and Weller meant to have sneaky makeout sessions?? But anyhow Roman cuts his finger– surprising for someone who we know is very skilled with knives– and ugh she goes straight into protective big sister mode and literally goes to fetch a first aid kit. I would have been like 'eh there’s a band-aid in the drawer somewhere if you need it’ lol. But aaaahhhh her attentiveness ends up being her undoing– initially he’s smiling down at her, obviously enjoying that someone cares enough to fuss over him– but then the flashbacks kick in, taking him back to when she was patching him up before Zipping him, and oooohhhhh noooooooooo. This is very not good. And then ugh he confronts her about lying to him and being the Zipper and ughhhh she’s backing away from him slightly and trying desperately to get him to listen to her but oh no Shouty Angry Roman is back and then he grabs the knife and holy shit????? Like okay yes we know he wont kill or even significantly injure Jane, but seriously what the hell happens now?? Like does she take him down and have to bring him in?? Or does he escape and she’s left there to call Weller and ughhhh imagine how devastated she is going to be either way and ugh please let Weller see past his own hurt and be able to comfort her because ugh my baby has just lost one man she loves and she needs the other more than ever rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

#blindspot #jeller #blindspot recap #ughhhh this ep was so painful but so necessary #i am so excited for the new ep #lord help us bc we're all gonna die

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idealisticrealism · 8 years ago

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Blindspot recap 2x16

(Aka the one where Cade is the source and Patterson’s tooth is the mole)

Happy Blindspot day! Here’s a rather late recap, as is kinda typical for me at the moment (nightshifts take up a lot of energy haha). But anyway, have a look below the cut for a lot of rambling about how much I love Jeller and how much I want to hug Patterson haha

Oh yeah, Nas is being strangled. Forgot about that. But oooh I love the car-seat trick and then like flipping herself over into the backseat??That was kinda badass. I'm always approving of seeing ladies beat the crap out of bad guys. But anyway he's dead now (nice work Nas, I’m sure Weller didn’t want to interrogate him or anything) and anyway she's got the info-- which if there's really info about Sandstorm on that USB, then clearly he wasn't the one that put it there (bc he would have just used a decoy) meaning that if it’s legit then her source and this killer are not connected. Which lbr we already know they aren’t.

But nvm about all that bc this scene is far more important. The team are all hanging at Weller's and laughing and toasting and drinking and ughhhh remember early last season when Zapata and Reade had never even been in his apartment?? And now they're all hanging out?? Being besties?? And omg Patterson is such a cutie, insisting they toast every time (maybe I’m going to make a variation on that rule and always toast to Patterson herself before I do a shot haha) and they all indulge her and ughhhh my babies. And then Jane is there, walking straight in without knocking bc lbr this apartment is always open to her. Do I dare even consider the fact that she has a key, ‘in case of emergencies’??? But anyhow clearly Weller had invited her (because of course he did, he probably suggested the group drinks in the first place just to have an excuse to invite her over), and she probably had wanted to come so much but had already agreed to plans with Oliver and felt she couldn't cancel on him... especially not when she would be doing so to go spend time with the guy she’s actually in love with. That would probably be a kinda unfair thing to do to your date. But lbr when he bailed n their dinner she probably wasn't even that upset bc she was now free to go be with her family instead ughh. Also it's weird to think that this is all taking place immediately after last ep? Like only hours after the team all split into pairs to hunt down the smuggler. I mean Zapata's looking good for someone who got shot in the back of her vest, and Weller seems to have recovered well from being tased haha. But anyway they're all like ‘yaayy Jane's here’ which is so cute lol, and Zapata's like 'wait what about that thing you had on' (ugh look at this supportive lady-friend being all discreet haha) and Weller looks up with that 'I-really-wanna-hear-this-but-also-really-don't' expression bc I'm sure that even if Jane hadn't told him she had a date when he invited her to the drinks, he would have known it anyway bc she would have been all flustered and awkward and also clearly bummed about missing out on being with the team and ugh I bet Weller is fighting off a grin rn to know that she's here with him-- er, I mean with them-- and not with some guy and aww Patterson immediately involves her in the toasting thing and ugh look at my babies all being so happyyyyyy. And then Zapata immediately finds a excuse to whisk both of them off into the kitchen so they can have a ~girl talk~ (omg her "boys. so sensitive." comment lol. I feel you there girl.) and ugh I am SO HERE for this bonding and supportiveness and lol considering Weller got up and headed somewhere right the same time that they did, I'm totally picturing him hiding around the corner sneakily trying to listen in haha. Whereas meanwhile Reade and Patterson are left awkwardly at the table and she reaches out so earnestly, telling him she's worried about him, and he just walks off. Excuse me, I will not tolerate this rudeness towards my baby. Go back and apologise. And then omg Jane has snuck into the nursery (love the mobile with Aussie animals on it, like it’s a nod to my country for producing Sully haha) but anyway ugh I love the way that Jane looks around the room; it's not a wistful "I wish this was mine to share with him", though I'm sure that there's definitely a bit of that buried down deep. Mostly though she just looks at it all with such tenderness and pride, because she can see what a good and loving father Weller is going to be and it makes her love him all the more. And then oops Weller busts her (lbr he'd been fully aware of exactly where she was every moment since she stepped into the apartment, and was just waiting for his chance to spend some time alone with her) and she's adorably embarrassed and guilty about snooping but he doesn't mind at all bc lbr Jane has 100% free access to anything in his life bc he loooooves herrr, and then ugh Allie gets mentioned and Jane tries to suss out what the situation will be after the baby is born bc lbr she's secretly picturing her and Weller’s future life together, whether she realises it or not. And then she apologises for overstepping and takes the question back, just like he did when he asked her about Oliver, and ugh I love that these two are doing this little dance and wanting to be closer and know all these things about each other but they're afraid that the other doesn't want to share that connection so they apologise and try to step back again, but the other one always reassures them it's alright and then opens up a little more and ughhhhh these two are so clearly inchinggggg their way back toward each other again and ugh this is such a honest and vulnerable moment that could have easily led to something even deeper but of course by the very nature of the Jeller moment, it means that they have to be interrupted-- and so right on time there's a text from Nas (since she couldn't barge in in person, she had to make do) and ugh we’re all sitting here like 'okay you nearly died? cool well you would still have been not-dead in five minutes, how about next time you be more considerate and give everyone some time to themselves before demanding all the damn attention’. Sigh.

And so now the team is all back at the FBI and I'm curious as to how they got there, bc I'm certain that all of them except Jane would have been too intoxicated to drive. Like seriously tho did they all pile together into her car?? Who got to ride shotgun?? Weller, since he's the bigest and also the boss? And also so he and Jane could throw loaded looks at each other while she drove? Or what if Weller was feeling gentlemanly and let Patterson sit up front so she wouldn't be squished, and instead Zapata was the one sandwiched between Weller and Reade, poking her elbow into Reade's side lol? I really hope they did all drive together, I mean it’s just a far more entertaining thought than FBI people picking them up. Though it'd be kinda funny if they took cabs or ubers instead, like 'hey we're a bunch of FBI agents take us to our headquarrters stat'. But anyhow, I'm getting distracted. The team arrives in the lab, Weller checks in on Nas just long enough to get the USB with the info. The team tosses ideas back and forth about who the source is and if he had anything to do with the attack, then Weller sets Patterson to cracking the USB which will take all night. Ugh, my poor baby works so hard. Though lbr it's not like Weller is gonna go home and to bed either; he’ll probably spend all night working in his office so he’s readily available if she needs him. And then lol now Patterson's busy with her computer and Reade & Zapata have apparently decided they have some place else to be, so when Weller walks away, Jane can go after him alone, touching his arm (yaaaasssss Unnecessary and Lingery Touuuuchhhhh) and asking him if he's okay and ugh he's so upset and Jane just steadies him like no one else can and promises that they'll get Shepherd and then she touches his arm again (oh lord help me) before going to help Patterson and ughhhhh I love Supportive Wifey Jane and ugh I know I've said it before but I'm just so glad these two are partners again ughhh

Naw Reade and Zapata have just had another one of their joint gym sessions which I think is adorable. And lol he's talking about a woman he thinks is kinda cute (lbr tho man you're not exactly being picky these days) and she grimaces at him, which is basically a pretty good reflection of how I feel about Reade and his proclivities atm lol. And then oh hello random drug screen lady! That was a funny moment with "it's your lucky day"/"we finally have hot water in the showers?"/"we have soft serve in the commissary??" lol you sassy buggers. But more importantly than all that is the horror on Reade's face when she tells them they're going to be screened today-- yep, this is called karma, bro. You were mean to my baby Patterson and now the universe is punishing you. Also I love Zapata's “Couldn't you have given us a heads-up on this” and the lady's snarky reply. I like her already. And I like that she didn't take any of Reade's crappy excuses about not feeling well. It’s time to face the music, sucker.

Awwww Jane sitting on the floor with Roman and trying to get him to eat and worrying about him sleeping on the hard floor and ugh he asks her about her night and about Oliver and then ughhhh "I don't have much, but what little I do have I owe to you". That is such a true statement, and it kinda encompasses the good and bad? Like yeah he's in a cell and has no memories and that's because of her but he's also alive and being cared for and free of Sandstorm and that's all because of her too. Ugh their situation is such a complicated and interesting one but I really wish she would be honest with him about the zipping. He's been a little more settled lately, no huge outbursts in a couple of days, so maybe it's approaching the right time to start telling him the truth?? Please???

Back in the lab, Nas has emerged from the med bay, and so Patterson shows her and Weller the photos that she got off the USB-- pictures of Shepherd and Sandstorm peeps from the day before. And then the source calls and tells them where to bring him money before he gives them any more info on Shepherd's location. And yes this is all very important but rn I'm actually much more interested in Weller's loose necktie situation bc damn I'm digging it. Also I wanna know what happened last night? Like did he go home? Did the others go home? Was there any point in them sticking around anyway if only Patterson could run the decrypting program? If he did go home, did he sleep at all? I need to know these things. But anyhow Jane catches up to him in the corridor, and she opposes his plan to stake out the meet site beforehand, worried that they'll spook the source and lose their chance at a lead. And lbr she's kinda like his inner voice, here? He's having to do things a certain way bc he's the boss and he's supposed to do things by the book and prevent risk to his agents, but all the arguments she's making are exactly what he feels himself, yet he has to ignore them. Ugh I love the fact that even when they appear to be at odds, they’re still in tune?? #soulmaaaates

Oooooh Zapata's questioning Reade about his weird behaviour and lol she teases him about handling his hard liquor like a preteen (tho I would hope that preteens aren't drinking hard liquor lol) and then jokingly prods him about if he’s really worried he's going to fail, and then he's all 'well, yeah' and she's like wait what. Then he gets called up and walks out like a guy going to his execution and seriously son you would never be in this situation if you hadn't made such terrible life choices lately

Meanwhile the rest of the team is actually working, trying to hover around inconspicuously as Nas goes to the drop point. Which is kinda ridiculous tbh bc literally the source would recognise both Jane and Weller instantly so I feel that this is not a terrific plan. Then he calls and tells Nas to go to a nearby hospital and gives her directions on dropping the bag into a laundry cart before leaving. Then some guy collects the cart and puts the bag in the laundry chute-- so Weller accosts him and shoves him into a wall. Ah, my cranky son. (Tho lbr I quite enjoy watching Weller manhandle people. I would not mind watching him shove Jane into a wall in a much gentler and more romantic fashion haha). Anyway turns out the guy was just paid to do it, and they realise that the source is down in the laundry room at the base of the chute, and Weller is all like 'quick, to the stairs!' and Jane's like 'nah son I got this' and legit jumps down the chute, slowing her fall on the walls and doing a kickass roll when she gets to the bottom. Dude. Life. Goals. And then she immediately pursues the source, only for him to circle behind her and put his gun to her head-- and the moment he speaks she realises it's Cade. Okay so Cade has been the source all along? Or maybe both he and Markos? Or maybe he, Markos AND Remi? But then anyway in another incredibly badass move, she dodges to the side of the gun and disarms him and throws him over her shoulder and ugh I am so down with this fight bc while Jane is definitely going to be the more skilled, she is probably the person who taught him to fight well in the first place?? Student vs master. And them bam she has the gun on him and tells him that they're on the same side and that she killed Oscar and ooooooohhhhhh I bet he didn't see that coming. And then suddenly Weller is there, impressively not out of breath considering the fact that he probably just sprinted down like five flights of stairs to get here and protect his wifey. And Nas is there too, and says 'Cade! in surprise and recognition(??), and I guess she knows what he looks like from a sketch of Jane's or something? Still, it's weird how quick she was. And then he reveals he's the source and everyone is like whaaaaaaa lol

Oooh Reade's in trouuuuble. With Zapata, that is. And he insists he was just blowing off some steam and she shuts him down, making it clear that what he's doing is waaaay more serious than that, and insisting that he tell Weller. And awww she says that they're all family, but Reade blows her off. So he really doesn't believe that the team is family to him? That's sad. And wrong. And then he even questions Patterson about tipping off the drug test people and I'm literally offended on her behalf. She's being cool about it ("agents can't call for random drug tests. They're random.") but I bet his suspicion hurt. And then Jane joins them and I feel like she picks up on the vibe, but they all focus instead on Weller, Nas and Zapata as they go in to interrogate Cade. Why three of them? Why is Zapata there? I mean she’s great and I'm always happy to see her being badass, but I'm just a little confused. And anyway Cade is being a smartass about 'where it all started' (aka the big bang) and the ladies are basically like shut up and get to the point lol. So we hear his backstory about why he joined Sandstorm (dad died in a mining accident and lawyers robbed the family of compensation etc. Because apparently the only response to tragedy and injustice is terrorism) and then he tells them that he left Sandstorm when he realised that Shepherd was only fighting for herself, not his cause. While listening, Jane has a flashback to Roman talking to Cade about all the people that are going to die in phase 2, and Remi shuts down the conversation. It definitely seems like the memories we see these days often have Remi seeming like much more of a jerk then she used to (not that she was ever a ray of sunshine before tho tbh). Idk it might just be a product of what's triggering the memories. Anyway Cade explains that he stayed with Sandstorm so he could do more damage from the inside, and Weller gets pissed at him about trying to kill them (or really, trying to kill Jane, which is the part that actually upsets him). And Cade says he did it both to try to stop the plan-- bc back then Jane was much more central to it, right?-- and also as revenge for Oscar killing someone he loved. I'm so intrigued by the way he talks about Markos-- "Markos made me whole" sounds like much more of an intimate connection than family/brothers-in-arms. Whether they were involved that way or not, I'm definitely headcanoning that Cade was in love with Markos.

Aaaand so Weller is not happy with Cade’s demands for money and immunity. He storms into his office (does he really ever enter his office any other way?) and I love that Jane is confident in her right to be there but still hangs back a little, giving Nas a chance to make her case first, pretty much bc she knows it won’t work haha. Only Jane can get through to him when he’s like this. And ugh one of Weller's main arguments against Cade going free is that he tried to kill Jane. Lbr that’s totally an unforgivable crime in Weller's opinion. And ugh again I’m so glad about this whole moment-- like if this was happening in the early eps of this season, even if Weller would have admitted his anger over Cade trying to kill Jane at all, Jane certainly wouldn’t have been there to hear it and know that he felt that way. But now she is, and even if she tells herself that he's really just making excuses not to work with one of Sandstorm’s members, a little part of her would cling to his protectiveness of her and revel in it. But anyhow I love that she puts a hand on Nas' shoulder and is all like 'good try, but dw, I got this.' And she follows him and locks eyes with him and tells him that they have to put their baggage with Cade aside, like Weller did with her, and he's all "that was different" and ugh she reminds him about telling Zapata he didn’t even want to be in the same room as her and ugh it hurts me that that memory comes to her so easily. How much it must have hurt her to hear that, and how much Weller must regret it now and want to take it all back and tell her he never really meant it and he actually loved her all along and ughhhhhhh. And ugh he drops his gaze from hers and you already know that he'll let Cade go. He'll do anything for her. Lbr a lot of the time Jane is the most powerful person on this team bc of the sway she has over Weller, but it’s a power she would never abuse. Plus, she would do literally anything for Weller in return, and close to anything for every single member of the team. Ugh, my loyal baby.

Anyway so Cade gets his deal and tells the whole team about Shepherd meeting with a smuggler person, possibly to be smuggled somewhere herself. So they send out a team to lie in wait for ehr, but just as they're ready tog et into position, they see smoke coming from the building, and race in only to find that the guy Shepherd was meeting is already dead and a bunch of his files are burned. So they think Cade sold them out and pre-warned Shepherd, leading to an angry confrontation and he's all 'uhhhhh I've been here the whole time? literally how could I have gotten any kind of message out" lol and then he tells them that maybe they have a mole, which pisses Weller off. Uh, Cade, you might want to be careful. People are a little sensitive about the ‘M’ word around here....

Ughhh Jane suggests that they use Cade to try to jog Roman's memories and Weller allows it bc she's his beloved wifey and he wants to make her happy ugh. And it's such an interesting dynamic with Cade and Roman. "I don't know whether to choke you or feed you soup. Or maybe both" lol. And then Jane is all sweet with Roman when he can't remember anything, and it must be strange for Cade to see how not-Remi she is?? Though he still throws a jab at her about wanting her brother in a cage, which sets off another memory for her about keeping Roman from talking to Cade. As a sidenote, I love Remi's flat, dead voice and how different it is from Jane's. But anyhow clearly the doses that these two were zipped with were very different, or Jane’s has been wearing off or something, bc she is definitely much more susceptible to triggers than he is. But ugh my fave part of this scene was probably when Cade says that mean comment to Jane and Weller just grabs him roughly by the arm and drags him outta there. No one’s mean to his wifey and gets away with it...

Zapata and Reade get their results back, which were thankfully negative (though part of me wishes his had been positive just so he had to face it and get help). Also I love that they have these very private conversations in the locker room-- like cmon guys someone could be literally right around the corner. But anyhow ugh Zapata is so serious and worried rn and she insists again that he tell Weller and get help (work-dad will fix it!), but Reade is refusing to seek help bc he’s kinda a butthead these days. And so Zapata-- while making it clear that she's doing it out of love-- tells him that she will tell Weller if he doesn't, and his reaction to that reminds me of a little kid: "but... but you're my best friend" *lip wobbles*. Uh yeah, dude, she is! That's why she will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if you hate her for it! Ugh. Poor Zapata, she should go talk it out with her BFF Jane. Meanwhile Weller locks Cade back up, and then being the sweet marshmallow he is, actually pauses and tells Cade that he's sorry about his father. Ugh, my big softy. He mentions that his uncle was a miner too, and Cade's all ‘yeah I know, Shepherd talked about you a lot’. Which is creepy but unsurprising, I guess?

Over in the lab, my baby Patterson is looking at files on Borden, which is upsetting. She gets another headache, then is looking at pictures of Shepherd when she suddenly puts it all together, realising what's been going on with her and why Sandstorm always seems to be ahead of them. Also lol at the lab tech who comes up to ask her something and she's all "not now" and they back away respectfully from their queen haha. But oh my poor baby, this must be a horrible feeling, to realise her own role in all of this. Weller would never blame you though honey!

And speaking of Weller, he's back in his office when Jane comes in all shy, and she's like 'um, weird question, but... are you my supervisor?' with literally THE CUTEST expression on her face, and tbh it's kinda funny to consider her as part of boring old workplace ladders bc she's just ~part of the family~ (or rather jst like an extension of Weller, lbr) and Weller is like 'uuuhhhhhhhh yeah I guess I am' which shows he never really thought about it either lol. And lbr, she kind of went from victim-->asset-->Weller's partner-->traitor-->prisoner-->asset-->Weller's partner, so she never really fit neatly into the whole boss/employee thing. But anyhow she shows him the requisition form that she needs him to sign, all the stuff she wants for Roman, admitting she can't stand to see him so unsettled. And Weller literally doesn't even hesitate before signing it, despite the fact that someone like Roman could very easily use those things to craft a weapon or escape tool or something. He just signs it bc not only does he trust Roman not to do that, and also cares about her and hates seeing her sad, but also he remembers feeling the same way when Jane was first brought to them. Which squeezes my heart bc he acted so aloof at the start but you just knew-- KNEW-- that underneath he really felt for her and wanted to help and comfort her. Which he soon did, though as professionally as he could (until the feelings won out over professionalism haha). But ughhh I bet it hits her hard when he says that about having the same feeling-- bc she LOVES Roman. That's why it hurts her to see him like that. So if Weller felt the same way about her, even back then....

But anyhow, of course this tender Jeller moment is just begging for an interruption, so in steps Patterson, showing them warnings on her ipad as she talks about having a bug in her servers that she needs to fix, and ugh every word she's saying is so clearly about herself and fixing the 'bug' in her before it corrupts the whole FBI 'server' and ugh she's holding herself together so well and Jane looks confused and then concerned and Weller just looks aggrieved and ughhhhhh I NEED there to have been a moment after she leaves (after writing on the ipad to tell them to gather the others and meet her in that metal cage thing that radio signals can't penetrate) where Jane just reaches out to Weller and comforts him bc lbr they're like the parents in this family and Patterson is daddy's little girl and ughhhhh how sad and angry and frustrated and horrified they must be all at once and ughhhh. I just feel like Weller needed a hug and Jane wanted to hug him but couldn't-- not it his glass-walled office, not with unresolved stuff still between them-- but she would have at the very least stepped close and had her hand on his arm and murmured comforting words and ughhh. But anyway the whole team is in the cage now, and Patterson tells them all about the bug she found in her tooth, which is seriously crazy small. It couldn’t possibly exist in the real world. But anyhow Jane, the protective mama, is like 'Let's go get it out right now' but Patterson, my brave baby, looks at Weller and suggests they use it to lure Sandstorm. Which is a very good idea, lbr. Which then leads to them all hanging out in Weller's office reading from scripts, and it's kinda hilarious to see actors playing people who are bad actors? Like their reading is so stilted but I guess it still sounds believable enough to Sandstorm, so that’s all that matters haha

So now Sandstorm is coming to the safehouse where Cade is being kept, to kill him before he can ‘trigger any more' of Roman's memories. Borden's the one making the calls since apparently Shepherd is out on a barge in the middle of the ocean for whatever reason (lbr who knows why Shepherd does literally anything except for ~Insanity~). I'm sure that will become clear eventually. So the trap is set; Reade and Patterson are in the safehouse with Cade, presumably settling him in, when he overpowers Patterson, steals her gun, and fake-shoots them both before making a run for it, forcing the Sandstorm guys to race after him. I appreciate seeing Borden getting tricked by the very people he tricked, and it all almost works too, except apparently he has superhuman eyesight and notices a floodlight up in a tree. All the others are surrounded, but he escapes off another way-- only to be caught by Patterson, who wounds him with a shot then chases him into a barn. Meanwhile the ringleader of all the others manages to shoot all three of the others before shooting himself, and come on, really? What if he'd fired at the FBI? Someone would have taken him down immediately. So why couldn't they have killed him after he fired the first shot, or even shot at one of the other guys in the leg to drop him and then kill the main guy before he could re-aim and kill them too? I guess we're gonna have to suspend our disbelief here and just roll with it, bc lbr how could our crackshot team (especially Jane) not be able to stop this from happening?

But anyhow. On to more important things, which is my baby chasing Borden into a barn all alone, despite Weller shouting orders not to. And ugh as she walks in you can see that like literally everything in this barn (propane tanks, paint thinner, etc) is flammable, and well this is surely a very bad sign. And then she demands that 'Nigel' turn himself in, and ugh he shoots towards her and nearly hits the tanks and the she corners him and yet again they're facing down from either side of a gun, and ughhh she's telling him that he's going to spend the rest of his life in a cell and he actually reassures her, telling her that it's okay that she wants to kill him and omg okay maybe he's just saying that bc he assumes that she does, but then again maybe he KNOWS? If Sandstorm has been able to hear everything she's said in the past couple of weeks, then they have heard all her sessions with Dr Sun, the ones that (as she admitted to Reade) usually end with her sobbing. How many times did Borden come into the control room and volunteer to take over a shift listening to their bug; how many times did he sit there and listen to her cry and rail about how he'd betrayed her and destroyed her?? Ughhh and while I don't feel sorry for him (okay, maybe the teeeensiest bit), I do believe that he DID care about her. It just wasn't enough. And then ughhhh she's yelling at him now for what he did to her and there's tears in her eyes and he tries to apologise and I appreciate that he's made no move to shoot at her (I don't believe he would anyway) bc I'd hate for her to have to kill him bc that would mean even more emotional trauma-- like Jane with Oscar. And then he holds up the grenade instead, ensuring he'll die but also giving her enough time to make a run for it, to survive. And ugh if I’d known from the start how this would go I definitely would not have started shipping them all those eps ago lol

Ugh, back in the bullpen poor bruised Patterson is staring at the photos of Borden and the other Sandstorm operatives and ugh my sweet Jane comes up to check on her and it's super clever how there's originally no sound other than the music, like Patterson is kind of separate from everything. She's holding a little radio scrambler like it’s a talisman and ugh I just feel so sad for her. It's going to be so long before she is comfortable again in her own skin, until she no longer feels betrayed and violated and ruined. And Jane says much the same, telling her how killing Oscar made her feel more betrayed and unsafe. Ugh she's so sweet and supportive and doesn't push when Patterson says she can't feel anything, just makes sure she knows that she's always there for her. Ugh. Jane would die for any member of this team in a heartbeat and it kills me. As does her sorrowful face as poor Patterson walks away. And then ugh my baby goes to the med bay to get the tooth out, which is very symbolic and (hopefully) cathartic, and ugh she's so angry and so far from her usual bubbly self and she refuses any anaesthetic for the pain and ughhhh this is just awful

I'm impressed that Nas actually lets Cade go with the money. Are we sure she didn't poison it somehow, or put a tracker in it, or...? But regardless, Cade refuses to stay and help, and Nas is sounding pretty doom and gloom about their chances of stopping Phase 2. But naw Weller believes in the team, and he's confident that they've weakened Shepherd-- after all, her right-hand man is now dead, and her two former proteges are now on Team FBI (aww, he considers Roman to be on their team). Also speaking of Roman, he's now lying on his bed with his soft sheets and a book and ughhhh I'm so happy to see him smile ugh my baby puppyyyy. I hope that he remembers these little signs of love when the truth about the zipping comes out...

Ooooh Reade deliberately left without talking to Weller, calling Zapata on her 'bluff'-- but ugh given the stunned and upset look on her face, it was no bluff. She knows she's going to have to go to Weller now, even if it costs her her best friend. And ugh she shows up at Weller's door, rather than just walking right into his office when she had the chance-- like she had to go home and mentally prepre herself/talk herself into it. And of course Weller lets her straight in and ugh he looks so concerned both for her and for Reade and ughhhhh he's such the Dad of this family ughhhh

Sigh Oliver texted Jane and she went right to him. I suppose it's sweet that he cooked this whole fancy meal as an apology... and then ugh she kisses him, probably to shut him up so she doesn't have to hear that accent anymore-- and tbh I'm actually glad when the guys show up to kidnap them before any items of clothing have come off. Now THIS is one scene that I don't mind seeing interrupted...!

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #we're getting closer to the Jeller every single week ugh

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