#groupchat au

[flame-x]

pekes n polls has been created

Rumpleteazer has changed their name to Crime Baby

Crime Baby has changed Victoria’s name to Madam Perfect

Crime Baby has changed Electra’s name to electricity

Crime Baby has changed Etcetera’s name to squee queen

Crime Baby has changed Jemima’s name to The Chosen One 

Crime Baby has changed Sillabub’s name to bbygirl 

Crime Baby has changed Pouncival’s name to Mousey 

Crime Baby has changed Carbucketty’s name to greg 

Crime Baby has changed Mungojerrie’s name to butter fingers 

Crime Baby has changed Tumblebrutus’s name to bitchboy 

Crime Baby has changed Bill Bailey’s name to Prince Charming uwu 

Crime Baby has changed Mistoffelees’s name to The magical, the marvellous, Mr. Mistoffelees! by Crime Baby

10:41am

Crime Baby: >:3

butter fingers: this is the best idea you’ve had in a while

Crime Baby: i know, thank u

butter fingers: r u ever gonna let the time i dropped that bracelet on the pollicle’s head go

Crime Baby: no >:D

The magical, marvellous, Mr. Mistoffelees!: why is my name so long?

squee queen: it makes sense

The magical, marvellous, Mr. Mistoffelees!: too long

Crime Baby has changed The magical, marvellous, Mr. Mistoffelees!’s name to the one tugger simps for 

Crime Baby: happy now?

the one tugger simps for: no 

electricity: damn he’s picky

Crime Baby has changed the one tugger simps for’s name to mr picky 

electricity: common L for misto

mr picky: I will make you disappear under suspicious circumstances.

electricity: nah u won’t cos munk would get cross

mr picky: Alas, tis true. I shall simply dream on 

Mousey: why is that my name

Crime Baby: UGH WHY ARE THE BOYS PICKIER THAN THE GIRLS

Mousey: cos ur shit at picking nicknames duh

Mousey: like. why? 

Crime Baby: BC UR SO QUIET OBV

bitchboy: well clearly he’s not being v quiet rn

Madam Perfect: I agree. 

Madam Perfect: Teaz, your names suck ass

greg: Why… why am I greg?

Crime Baby: BC I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY

Crime Baby: JHDAJDBHEJLGFYYDF

Crime Baby: fuck all of u

Prince Charming uwu: u wish u could ;3

bbygirl: ok at least his name fits

The Chosen One: ish

Madam Perfect: I hate you all

Madam Perfect: Except Jemima. You’re an angel Jem

The Chosen One: <3

Madam Perfect: <3

Crime Baby: fuck this shi

Crime Baby: mungo, meet me behind 254 Pear Street

electricity: i wouldn’t do that if i were you guys

bbygirl: yeah alonzo said he’s gonna report you to munk if he catches you again

butter fingers: ya but he won’t catch us obv

Crime Baby: he won’t if ur careful

Crime Baby: now hurry the fcuk up

[feyburner]

Guess who got hit with a de-aging beam 👍🏻

Page one text:

Dick: Let’s see, you’ve met ✨me✨, Duke, Dami, Al… who else is around…

Dick: Oh hey! It’s Jason!

Jason: Uh.

Timmy: Jason………. Todd?

Dick: That’s right!! (Wow, good memory!)

Jason: Hi.

Dick: T-TIM?!

*

Bonus:

[altverse-invertverse]

[thatrandomblogsays]

AU where Helaena and Aegon get married but in name only and immediately start having extramarital affairs. They don’t even consummate the marriage. A year later Helaena gives birth to a very obviously not Valyrian child. Aegon rocks up like “yep that’s my son/daughter”

Alicent through gritted teeth: “the brunette babe? You and your silver haired sister had a brown haired baby”

Aegon: *beeming* they take after their grandmother

*cue alicent having a stroke*

Even funnier if Helaena is super good at hiding her sneaky link so the court doesn’t have a man they can accuse, but they know something is up because it’s every. Single. Baby. Daemon is laughing his ass off at dragonstone

[reallychaoticwoo]

✨️Part 3 of 9 makes 1 team mini series✨️

❤️Pairing: Established relationship Ateez x Y/N

⚠️ Warning: Probably some cussing. idk it's been pretty tame so far 🤷🏻‍♀️

This one doesn't really have y/n but she will be back lol 🤣

✨️As always, this is purely fictional and doesn't represent the idols' actual personalities in any way.

I hope you enjoy 🖤⛓️

Full series master list Here

Part 4

[notabraincellinsight]

chatfics are so much fun, sometimes i do just need to live in a world where the jane prentiss attack in s1 of tma was avoided because jon offered to do her nails instead and they had a slumber party about it. a world where a groupchat with the avatars solely exists to shit on elias. put away the tragedy and trauma for a few hours and imagine everyone being friends and nothing hurting

[fauvester]

svsss demons hospital au scrub choices. SHL is a figs girlie (girl you cannot wear outside figs to the OR, sorry) LBH is kind of a jaanuu guy but occasionally gets mandelas for the colors. MBJ is an exclusively inpatient proceduralist so he only ever wears the cheap hospital provided scrubs that his tits never fit into properly

[deaddove]

slow cooking a lighthearted modern au where esen and baoxiang are pining after their friends ouyang and ma, respectively. but due to a ~wacky misunderstanding~ (read: chronic heteronormativity) they think ouyang and ma are dating each other—obviously that’s why ouyang is always going over to her place, right?

esen is in denial about his feelings and extremely supportive of ouyang’s relationship (he avoids talking about it or thinking about it—out of respect to ouyang’s privacy ofc). baoxiang thinks ouyang is in denial about his own sexuality and using ma (he has formulated a 12-step plan to Remove Ouyang that he will enact When The Time Comes).

then one day: baoxiang and ma are hanging out (spa day), esen and ouyang are also hanging out (sporting event(?)) and they all decide to meet up at that new restaurant afterwards. as they arrive, ma and ouyang are texting, they tell baoxiang and esen “hey my partner got us a table.” so baoxiang and esen follow them to the table expecting to see the other couple already seated there. but it’s just zhu.

(they both have met zhu—they thought she was just ma’s roommate. in reality she’s ma’s fiancée and ouyang’s queerplatonic d/s situationship.) (they also realize neither of them has ever actually seen ma and ouyang interact for an extended period of time. it becomes immediately apparent that ma dislikes ouyang and ouyang doesn’t even know her name.)

[snickerpuffs]

Loop's sassy and catty persona is just an act. There are times when the mask slips, revealing how shy and caring they truly are.

But what if it wasn't?

In Loop's eyes, The Universe took everything from them. What if it also took their timidity as well? What if, when The Universe poured them into that star-shaped mould, it FORCED them to be The Baddest Bitch in Vaugarde? Their mind is unchanged, they still *want* to be reserved and not cause any trouble, but their every word and action is filtered through that flamboyant persona, and they're helpless to stop it, like some incredibly silly psychological horror

"I Have No Mouth and I Must Slay 💅✨️"

[starwrighter]

I am not a baby!! (Yes you are)

(Ao3 link) (Masterpost) (Previous) (Next)

(Part six people!!!)

Batting away a pod of stalkers that didn't get the memo he wasn't food Duke sighed. Rarely persistent predators, normally all it would take to scare them away was a slap from his tail. But with all the chaos that'd happened in such a short time period, they were agitated, attacking him more frequently much to his dismay and his sibling's entertainment. His face heated as he felt laughter erupt into the bond.

"Are the stalkers okay?" Damian questioned demandingly.

"I- They're still trying to maul me?" He replied, taking a second to whack a stalker, its mouth wide open ready to attempt biting his tail off.

"I think a Mesmer wandered from one of the nearby cave systems," He proposed, shaking the attacking stalkers off of him and watching with bared teeth as the fish finally realized they bit off more than they could chew leaving. A Mesmer would explain the stalker's agitation, their hypnotism and eventual biting tended to tick a lot of creatures off.

"So the glow from earlier was just from a Mesmer...?" Dick questioned, disappointment flooding into the bond.

"It was about the size of a Mesmer... Maybe smaller?" Duke started, peaking into the egg from before, no sign of anything being inside at all. " I didn't get to look at it, I was too busy being mauled," Duke complained, turning to glower at a stalker lurking beside him.

"You don't seem very certain Duke," Dick began, "Did something happen?"

Duke froze, staring intently at one of the smooth crystal-like slabs glowing dimly from inside the egg. "Yeah, I heard one of the little noises from the...you know?" The babies carried these around with them, it would make a little noise. A string of little chirps and clicks, and the baby would panic most often dying soon after.

"I think it was from one of the dead ones,"

'one of the dead ones' god he felt disgusting just saying it. But that's all he really could say. None of them lived long enough for them to know anything about them. They couldn’t pin personality and preferences to any of them like they had before! None of this batch lived long enough to fight reapers or watch plants and animals with curious awe.

Dick’s silence was deafening, hope dying slowly. It was like being stabbed, Dick was the one who so desperately wanted a new baby sibling to come out of this tragedy.

“Hey, I-“

“Father wants you two to join him patrolling,” Damian interrupted.

“Aren’t Cass, Steph, and Tim already doing that?”

Damian scoffed, “They have their own territories to patrol Thomas” Damian snapped. “The hell hole was blocked off!”

“And that means…?” Duke questioned, trailing off as the younger scoffed.

“Any idiot with a brain could understand that means we have to watch for sea dragons,”

Terror settled in his stomach. “Those things are real?!” He screeched, gills flaring.

“Real and hungry. What do you think is going to happen when they no longer have a fresh supply of reapers to snack on?” Damian mused and Duke could almost see the sharp-toothed grin on the youngers face

“Well I’m hoping they start eating rocks instead but I’ve gotta feeling you’re going to tell me otherwise.”

“It’s going to wander through the lost river and eat everything in the crater that moves,” Damian warned.

“Damian quit scaring Duke," Dick chimed in exasperatedly.

" I'm not!" Damian protested.

"You quite clearly are, Baby fish!" Dick replied voice laced with faux authority.

"It's not my fault he asked a stupid question!"

"Wait..." He started, pushing himself off the ground, flicking his tail to glide through the kelp forests. " Are we or are we not going to be eaten by a sea dragon?"

"No Duke, they only need to eat large meals every so often,"

"If you see one outside the lava zones switch forms and swim away. We're faster, they won't see us as something worth chasing" Dick explained.

"Oh..." That was relieving, the amount of damage a sea dragon could potentially cause him was terrifying. Precursors had made the fatal mistake of messing with one and you don't exactly see any of them around anymore.

"Why does Bruce need us then?" Duke could almost hear the infuriated shriek from here.

"What part of precursor activity screams 'business as usual'?"

"Be nice you two," Dick warned. Duke shook his head, gliding his way toward the impact site.

"I think he's just bitter that he's the one who was tasked with watching the shallows" Duke teased, an uproar of laughter flooding the bond at Damian's offended squawk.

"At least I won't have to deal with the reapers!" Damian bragged

"You won't if you'd get your ass to the shallows Demon spawn," Jason piped up.

"Plenty of reapers in the dunes kid,"

"Snitch,"

"Slacker,"

Duke snickered as he slithered into the crash zone. Murky waters, from the massive amounts of sand yet to settle at the seabed. Chunks of metal littered the impact site an egg floating upside down yet not a trace left of the red blood that spilled into the ocean the other day. Reapers circled the site, teeth snapping at anything they saw.

A blur of red entered his peripherals, Jason used his horn to stab through a chunk of metal before launching it full force at a charging reaper. A loud snap as the metal hit its target shrapnel spray slicing into a shrieking reaper.

"These fuckers are getting bolder every single day," Jason laughs humorlessly. Mandibles snap, teeth gnash, reaper screaming louder and louder as it starts circling the two of them. "I almost miss the Sea dragon," Jason joked. A gnarled pinkish burn scar on his left side, dorsal fin torn off and smaller burns littering Jason's body told him he would never in fact "Miss the sea dragon,"

@ashoutinthedarkness @avelnfear @meira-3919 @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @hugsandchaos @blep-23 @zeldomnyo @bytheoldwillowtree @justwannabecat @shepherdsheart @starlightcat04 @stargazing-bookwyrm @pupstim

[numberonemissfathersdayfan]

basically sometime in the late 90s-early 2000s Garp or Dadan or someone brings a shitty little computer and a modem into the house and Luffy is so absolutely taken with it he starts going to every forum, webring and newsgroup he can find and starts posting like a 12 year old on all of them, irritating his way into the hearts of everyone he meets

people post so many modern onepy aus that i love it makes me wanna finally develop the one ive had kicking around where the straw hats all live in their respective earth countries and are in a groupchat together

[flame-x]

pekes n polls

Crime Baby = Rumpleteazer Madam Perfect = Victoria electricity = Electra squee queen = Cettie The Chosen One = Jemima bbygirl = Sillabub Mousey = Pouncival Prince Charming uwu = Bill Bailey greg = Carbucketty bitchboy = Tumblebrutus butter fingers = Mungojerrie mr picky = Misto

2:23 pm

bitchboy: AYNNONE KNO WHEARE IMSTO IS 

mr picky: I will FIND you. 

squee queen: damn what’s happened

Prince Charming uwu: tumble ripped misto’s favourite jacket by accident and now misto is out for vengeance

electricity: everlasting

electricity: f in the chat for tumble 

electricity: f

Prince Charming uwu: f

greg: F

squee queen: f

Mousey: L

Mousey: this is why u don’t mess w magic feet

Mousey has changed mr picky’s name to magic feet 

magic feet: Ok this one is my favourite so far.

magic feet: Back to Tumble. I’m still gonna find you. 

bitchboy: NO U WON’T BITCH I’M HIDING 

magic feet: Your location is on. 

bitchboy: fUCK

electricity: gl man

Mousey: o7 

[kutputli]

So @quark4561 said she wanted to eavesdrop on the groupchat in the AU where Claudia made it out alive...

[mercurygray]

"Does anyone want to tell me why his hand is on her ass?" "It's not on her ass." "It looks like it wants to be." "She's extremely well respected -" "She's a spook. She topples governments for fun." "I highly doubt it's for fun. And she's our spook." "Am I the only one seeing a problem here?" "John, if Marion Brennan did not want the President's hand on her body, I am supremely confident she would be very capable of removing it herself. If you're going to stand here and suggest that the Director of the CIA has designs to somehow honeytrap the President of the United States into a job that she already reports to him for, I need you to go find a different office. His divorce is finalized, she's not married, she's only ten years younger than him, she has the same security clearance he does and she's already very gainfully employed. I'm not seeing a problem here."

With apologies to @loveduringthewar for borrowing stealing her West Wing AU, which you should explore more of here.

[shitpostingkats]

*raising my voice to be heard over the club music* Yeah, lately I've been getting really into a Yusei Adopts Rin and Yugo AU.

[quatregats]

Was reminded of the existence of this random Cricinfo comment my dad sent to me like three years ago and I needed to draw them

Stephen: Tea, beforenoon drink, afternoon drink, lunch, postlunch tea: definitely cricket is a luxury game invented by British people.

Jack: Quite so, old fruit. What's the rush, what?