#how did i uhhh not die
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I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it
So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.
Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role
Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong
Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself
Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong
Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder
...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).
I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.
#uhhh what am I calling this??#randomizedrobinsau#stephanie brown#oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this.#because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship#with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny#and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying#Tim Drake#tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard#reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass#Dick Grayson#He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this#But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him)#Damian al ghul#damian wayne#oh this is gonna kick ass#Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role#and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable#to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive#Jason Todd#Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass#I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time#But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through#TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring
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Bob in female fight club au. Thoughts
Probably named Marge
Rather than doing a direct inversion (ie making the character the exact opposite, much tits -> no tits, etc) I think sort of an analogue would work better riffing off the motherly role Bob has, in combination with the group being for uterine cancer/ovarian cancer
The women come together, and they cry, cry, cry, over lost husbands, who left them because they got cancer, because overwhelmingly, men leave if their wife gets cancer, over lost relationships with children, who stayed but resent them, over lost Motherhood, that thing you were told was your worth but now you are told you're shit. Remaining Women Together. Despite. Despite despite despite.
What is it, about purposes. Want to see misery, see women fed their own physical oppression as lost salvation.
Marge, whatever her name is, her husband divorced her, left her with the kids and medical bills stacked as high as she is tall. She is thankful she still has her kids, it makes her feel like she's still worth something. She's had to try and get back into the workforce. No one wants to hire dear former stay at home mother Marge. She shows you her kids in her wallet in her purse and there are no pictures of her. There's a picture of her old husband, which she keeps to show her kids if they ask. They're old enough to go to school now, which is good, because it gives her more time to work. Life is hard, but she's doing her best.
Marge, who is on hormone therapy so she doesn't get those "side effects" she's heard about from other total hysterectomy patients, the future of early dementia and degeneration and horror. Who does pelvic floor exercises in hopes it will minimise the fallout of the surgery. Who carefully rips every hair out of her upper lip and chin because even if it would be normal for a woman, a woman whose gone through menopause, a woman at all — she knows, it's probably the estrogen tipping back over into testosterone, and she can't handle any more losses. She compensates. They all do.
The support group is her Me Time. It is the single hour plus half hour commute she can afford once a week for herself. So she gets here, and she cries, cries, cries, and the others cry with her, all over how their lives have fallen apart since they got ovarian cancer, got breast cancer, and their lives derailed because they can't be proper women anymore.
They cry in their waterproof makeup. Another product to promise womanhood. Identify yourself via consumption. Identify yourself by covering yourself up.
And when she finds fight club. When she finds something that says, jesus fuck. You are more than your children. You are more than your ability to have kids. You aren't a failed woman, that's a sack of shit you've been sold wholesale. When she finds something that promises her she will grow, achieve personhood, not because she was the ultimate martyr mother, not because she played the game of human or woman, but because it promises a freedom from all that, identification and repulsion of such sickening chains. When she stops worrying about her slightly deepened voice, and works to keep her dose even keel for her health, to avoid the toxic highs of accidentally juicing, rather than the lesser effects of a black lip hair or two. When she has a photo, not of herself in her wallet, but of the things she makes with other women from fight club, of the one view of the sunset from that one parking lot that she always thought was wonderful, when she has things in her wallet for her and her enjoyment. When she has corded muscle and a built up spine, when she sits her kids down and explains why they only see dad one weekend every other month, all the fun holidays, because dad decided staying with her through cancer was too hard even when she stayed with him through four lost jobs pissed away in alcohol and lottery tickets.
And Marge, who gets shot by the police on a regulation chill-and-drill assignment for Project Mayhem. Whose obituary in the newspaper talks about the children she left behind, how she battled cancer and kept caring for them, how she was such a strong mother, whose kids would now be shipped off to their grieving father who is so, so brave and stunning for standing up and taking care of the kids he made and dropped as soon as his live-in servant had a few issues. Her name is Marge Paulson, and she was forty-eight years old. She was a person. She will be remembered in the annals of Project Mayhem, lest what little there was of her be stolen from the world. She was killed by Project Mayhem, but they're the only ones who will remember Marge Paulson.
#fight club#female fight club au#like. it's about how the male castration being the worst thing that could happen to a man as per gendered ideals gets reflected here.#being very clear; the motherhood focus should seem as immensely disturbing and disproportionate. if not much more tbh. as how the guys are#because like. yeah the male focus on balls is immense but the pressure to consider your entire worth and personhood and status as a being a#your reproductive capacity is Insane for women. and i think that would be uhhh highly relevant in female fight club#both as the logical mirror to the castration/emasculation thing#and also because it's inextricable from any sort of feminism demanding a backbone#yadda yadda yadda#the end is also interesting#the death and the name thing just cant quite be the same#its still horrifying because the Project did kill her#but god. so many women die and no one fucking remembers them#just what they did as mothers or servants#so. her name is marge paulson. would be important.#this is very specific and dear 2 me.#its not about hating the kids or saying fuck them or anything either#its just. shes a person. womanhood is not some step below (man) personhood
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love seeing that the tag is trending. as if it means anything
#every time this happens there’s twenty inevitable: ‘was it renewed???’ posts and every time the answer has been no. we’re just insane#it actually just kinda hit me how embarrassingly bad the show being cancelled would wreck me like oh god this is why I don’t get attached#to things. oh yeah. fuck#im not uhhh pessimistic but I am. prone to anxiety and dread#genuinely wondering what’s taking netflix so long to give a yes or a no like there’s ought to be a reason right. are they waiting to see if#the streaming rates or reviews or overall popularity go up / sustain themselves??? did they decide a while ago and just aren’t telling us#for one reason or another? are they negotiating contracts or something? im going to wither away and die#rambling#dead boy detectives#if there is a god then we will get compensated for the wait by the announcement of confirmation for at least Two more seasons#wouldn’t that be something
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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I keep thinking about Luigi died and went to Hell in SPM and then even after all that he gets suicide bombed and then fused into a vessel for chaos
#spm#spm is just luigis no good very bad terrible day#the suicide bomb scene is admittedly really funny to me now tho why did he do that 😭😭#also ik none of them actually died but uhhh that was a classic nintendo cop out and i refuse to acknowledge it#gee luigi how come nintendo let you die like 3 times in one game
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i have so many thoughts and opinions on vast error's (Dreadful) writing but the main 3 issues it suffers from are power creep, character immunity and shitty pacing. none of the "action" sequences feel like action. there is never any tension because you know they'll never kill any characters off in the way that homestuck abruptly did. There is no love for side characters the way there was in hs. it just fails completely as a homestuck fancomic, but it has nothing going for it that isn't taken from homestuck.
#in terms of power creep theyve made edolon way too powerful way too fast and the IMMEDIATELY matched sestro to that level.#it literally feels like 10 yr olds roleplaying#'oooo my guy shoots your guy with a gun and you die!!' 'nooo my guy doesnt die hes uhhh gun immune!!' <- what post incursion felt like#and this is not even going into how affected by purity culture the comic is and how much that limits its scope#or the clear hatred/ignorance of half the main 12?? not even hussie did that#or the polyphobia of their quadrant system or the antisemitism of your only hooked-nose dark curly hair character being your main antag. -_-#i am saying all of this as someone who still reguarly reads and used to love vast error#also its late while im writing this and im so tired pardon my spelling mistakes 😔
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standing here in my star-patterned bathrobe holding a stylus while inscribing something onto my computer. it's wizard time baby
#just me hi#my mom came into the room n saw me doing all that + starting laughing and saying 'you look like a wizard' so i have achieved the Pinnacle#of my existence hhvsbhhfsv#my n my starry bathrobe on our way to cast spells (writing in a language no one can understand (regular handwriting) and portraying strange#otherworldly begins (drawing wet cat OCs))#/i should draw this though because it Is kind of silly now that i think about it#i'm a wizard >:3 my potions are store-bought and taste like cherry dr perpper and my spells are free from my brain#my runes? uhhh have you ever heard of drawing warmups ??#i lay out simple curses and it's words that make no sense and characters i actually talk about in secret like a little troll forgetting#other people can hear it Hfbhsv#my tower is whatever i'm standing on at the moment. which is a kneeling pad rn Lol :3#//which btw kneeling pads are Awesome for nearly everything#Except for sitting because everything will still hurt and maybe More than it did before Lmaooo#but like after a bit of standing it Sucks standing up and the kneeling pad is really good at helping me redistribute the weight doing that#ik it's better to stand than to sit but dude it blows so much harder hfhsbvhf#i am taking damage on all sides and with nearly every method but oh!! i will find a proper system well enough !!!#//anyway i think i want to get a wizard hat now lol :3#maybe a blue one!! i like blue :>>#//yea though i'm almost done with this ref!! !!!!#love it when things go smoothly. wheeee :D#i gotta add a couple things and then colour + shade + effects cuz i'll Die without my effects hfvbsh#really i learned how to do that little glitch thing and now i just can't go back lol :>#trying out new ways + new layer settings all the time so ~!~#//but YEA gonna get to that and then other things and stuffs!! you know :3#so tooooodles ~+~ !!
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beating a dead horse but people can be soooo weird about wc deaths. i know we are kinda desensitized to it but like.... some of the things people say are just strange like “russetfur actually deserved to die and lionblaze was right to kill her even if it wasn’t an accident because she was old and brittle at the time anyways. also she mocked a baby stuck in a trap in one book so she deserves death and much more. her clanmates are actually so stuck up and entitled and stupid for being upset lionblaze killed her. they should have expected her to die next time a clan raided their camp and attacked them because she was old. what a bunch of brats. its so stupid when a character who isnt the protagonist is upset their clanmate died and that manifests as anger towards their murderer, idiot should know better.”
#all of this is actual word of mouth from the fanbase btw#its weird how people go ''OH erm russetfur deserved to die bc she mocked a baby'' like yes that was fucked up of her but uhhh#i hate to break it to you but thats every character in this series LMAO#what about all the cats that said to leave cloudkit out to die in THUNDERCLAN. whatabt when mousefur said the clan was getting too mixed#hell frecklewish has a whole group rallying for her that she did nothing wrong and shetraumatized literal children for being half clan#and rallied to make them homeless which ended up killing them.#all of this is fucked up yes but all characters involved in those incidents are fan favorites#mousefur gets called an epic girlboss for that meeting. every single cat in this series is xenophobic towards children im sorry#and random murder when they invade HER territory should not have been a ''punishment''#and yeah this extends to lion too technically like every cat in this series has at least one victim at this point#so it wouldnt be fair to say ''hes a bad character bc he killed someone'' (not that thats stopped these same fans but whatever)#but like its weird how people are like ''yeah he was right to do that and he should do it again''#echoed voice
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WHAT COLOUR DOES YOUR LOVE FEEL LIKE?
deep, staining red
Ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. Your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. It rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. Sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. Your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. Atlas holding up the world, how are you? Is your love still flowing? Is your heart still open? Still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? Because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. Clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. Make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. Maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.
dark stormy blue
Sinking ships, raging seas and tumultuous hearts, love isn't easy for you. It's a struggle, a constant inner fight of should I? Can I? Do I? Feelings are hard and they rumble inside you in a dissatisfied mess that begs to be let out. Your heart screams and cries inside you and you... You can't, you won't. You're scared. And love is scary, it's hard and sometimes it just doesn't work out. People leave, people hurt, people change their minds. And you and your cold stormy heart yearn for the calmness, for the distance, to be allowed and able to simply not feel. And yet, you do. It rages, it fights and storms inside you and you try to keep it down, keep it quiet, to feel pretending not to. It's the burn of childhood friends growing apart, of parents that aren't quite there, of relationships that burn out. So you snuff it down with water, cold and calming and blue, blue, blue. But being loved by you is blue too, just not in that way. It's the soothing, embracing feeling of floating, the moment when you sink down bellow the waves and become one with the water, with everything. It's the balance, the dramatic yet calming sound of waves that crash against a rocky shore. You're the good and the bad, the violence of the storm and the watery peace right after. You're the blue, blue feeling and loving you is watery tears, yelled confessions that no one will hear and burying your feelings in a deep watery grave never to be found out about. Your love is dark stormy blue, it's vast and deep and all encompassing, it's safety in the surface of danger, it's trusting the unruly abyss and yet I'd gladly risk drowning just to feel what it's like being loved by you.
i stole this from my old blog when i did chrollo’s, so feel free to take it!
Chrollo’s under the cut bc, well i did his before.
cold stark gold
Fireworks, borrowed lighters and sparklers against a dark backdrop, yours is a love that burns stark and bright. It's scary though, like things that burn always tend to be, but for you it isn't the thrill of the open flames that gives pause and a slight stomach drop of terror, but rather the time when the flames go out, the sparkler ends and the night is cold and dark once again. Fireworks, borrowed lighters, a striken match, your love burns bright and fast and then maybe it passes, maybe the feeling dies out and you're left in the cold once again. And that's the feeling isn't it? Of being bored and waiting for someone to light you up again? To be fair, you do know you don't need it, but then again we don't often crave the things we need. And you crave and yearn and burn in the wait, restless in the knowledge that at some point someone will pass and rub you the right way, that some day you'll light up the night sky bright yet again. There's comfort in the darkness and solace in the predictable loneliness of the in between, but your heart still squirms inside you, waiting and willing and begging to burn up again. Your love might not be comfort, it's not one for the sick days, but then again, there's a reason why everyone waits for the shining lights in the sky during holidays.
#HELLO SERPENT'S IS SO PAINFULLY ACCURATE#like it really is brutal how well that fits her#bc its all so true#its not the prettiest and its intense and messy but its genuine#feels so much that it claws her chst#and ngl seiroku's i did just to see how inaccurate#bUT UHHH YEAH NO ENDED UP BEING P ACCURATE#if he could#i dont think he knows if he can#likes to feel nothin#and talking about the burn of things falling apart?#me staring @ his little comments abt his past when he was talking to naoe#seiroku vc: if i feel anything positive i'll bury it and one day die#᛭ — [HEADCANON] bleak reality is never far away [SERPENT]#and like ive said with chrollos in the past#its accurate bc he just !! oh ! he is feeling something#will get interested but he can crush it if need be#esp for the troupe's sake#its not a soft love but theres soft moments#᛭ — [DASH GAMES] lets have some fun
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#oUGH in a revived utapri cover group and IM HYPED#usually i get the bright rock dude who plays guitar from starish ( otoya )#but he was taken this time so i got the. the emo rock dude who plays guitar from qn ( ranmaru )#AND I LIKE BOTH its fun!! but WE'RE DOING SOLOS AT SOME POINT...? Apparently?#And tbh if we get to pick then idgaf i do have one or two ranmaru songs i can solo#BUT MY HEAVENS MEMBER....#........ SHOULD I ASK TO SWITCH... heavens is a later thing anyway but LORD...#THE ANGELIC EIJI ? GIRL I. oh i knew one of his solos but GIRLLL I COULDNT SING IT... GIRL HE SINGS SO HIGH AND SO WELL#not that the other VAs dont but like. i could pull off a few of ran's solos easily vs any of eiji's solos. probably.#im also more into like. van/nagi anyway so awk. idek eijis solos 😭#GROUP IM ALSO MAYBE SCREWED W HIS HIGH NOTES... like i auditioned like multiple years ago GIRL I DONT SOUND LIKE THAT ANYMOREEE#im so screwed but ITS FINE!! ill enjoy ranmaru for now ALSKJS#i just HOPE our first song wont have ranmaru belting adlib PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE ill die#i also think its so funny how i was like “idk which starish/qn roles suit me” and mod was like oh its ok just pick whtv is comfy!#but in main chat we're looking for ppl who are a good fit for the other roles and im sitting herel ike uhhh.... did i pick wrong... 😵💫#well. qn songs r hard but ill try my best!!! ><#44597
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once ir reached 3am im gna plsay ml
#everybody is half asleep every time i play matches on ml at that time and its fuking hilaruosu#even me too cuz the enemy cld be right in front of me and ill miss all of my skills like What (rlyl happened and i was embarrassed cuz that#was quite litrly a free kill)#uehm ill try playing tank ig (very Ew unless its esme my queen<3)#i have tigreals special skin but ugghugurhg i wanna play pretty girls!!!!#only dude im allowing myself to play is nolan n cyclops and THATS IT#my nolan skills have degraded terribly tho i used to be so good at him when he first realessed#but he started getting banned every match and overtime i just forgot how to use him</3#+ i prefer to play more sustain junglers now like esme cuz id rather last long in a clash than die w just 1 wrong move#thats why im esme's Biggest Fangirl Ever (real)<3333#but i fucking hate playig as the jungler so thats that ig#I MISS MY MARKSMAN ROOTS but at the same time playing mid is saur fun#i need to sharpen up my luo yi skills cuz i wan buy oracle of sol skin w the promo dias#actually idk how promo dias work#like can u buy any skin or will there be like options to choose from idk#but either way i want to buy oracle of sol soooo bad just bc it looks so pretty#halloween lylia is alr but..... oracle of sol fx...... :(#oh help im looking thru my heores rn and i literally forgot that i have novaria#why did i even buy her bro im so shit at aiming my skills (see: first few tags)#same way i want to play selena but i know that aiming my skills i sjust . not it for me HWKJFGH#ermmemrm for marksman i doubt ill be going back to being a mm main any time soon#and if i hav to play mm in a match ill pick ixia anyway butttt i rlly rlly wanna learn how to play karrie#cuz the pro karrie players i get matched w are literally so scary liek i Cannot farm properly . they alwys zone me out!!!!#and its scary cuz once i get out of my tower she'll fucking punish me for that and i die !!!#one day one day#oooh also beatrix i wanna learn but just looking at her plethora of guns has my eyes confused#so sadge but uhhh i also rlly kinda wanna play melissa but it just seems that shes rlly rlly squishy#like she just has that kill them before they kill u kind of strat and most of the time it works but#i literally get like 20 heart attacks when i see my hp drop below 50% and i usually fumble my skills after that hhaaha#uhm anwyay i think i rambled elong enough her
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against the kitchen floor has a DEATH GRIP on my brain rn
#marzi speaks#idk why bc. i don’t have self esteem issues that impede my relationships#but it just goes so HARD and SOMETHING in it has to be resonating with me#but i can’t help it there’s so many good fucking lines in there#like uhhh.#i dont know who u are/i only know that im still lonely/the kinda sort where even company cant cure me + the more u reassure the less i trust#all of the second verse really#like OOOGH.#and uhm. what else#‘i swear/i will die trying/i’m still in the process but i’m making progress/i honestly promise i want to prove improvement’s possible#that one’s good rhythmically and phonetically#all of the bridge. i love that bridge so hard it makes me wanna belt#like fucking. i’m catatonic in ur arms crying ‘how did i cause so much harm’#I’M DOWN POUNDING MY HEAD AGAINST THE KIT-CHEN FLOOR#APOLOGIZING FOR MY LIFE AND EVER ENTERING YOURS#like OOGH. OUGH. that goes so hard#tbh in case i make it took some time to grow on me but grow it fucking did. whoo !#getting will wood brainrot. love when there are themes
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can we talk about how fucked up someone's head can be after going to a gender-seperated school and not normally interacting with the opposite gender for +5 years cause dawg....
#berry.rambles <3#“we dont want our children to commit sinful acts and fall into temptation” you're tempting me to put a bullet in your head brother#KIDS DONT CARE ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF WHEN THEY'RE 10 11 12 13 14???? THEY JUST GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL TO SEE THEIR FRIENDS NO ONE CARESSS#yes i went to a religious academic institution how did you guess ahaha anyway.#no i seriously need to speak about this#the alienation from the opposite gender does nothing but reinforce the idea that you shouldnt talk to them unless you want to get married#which is???#H U H#where did that come from???#and second is because its “the order of nature???”#no buddy that's not how it works#and its so fucking funny how so many people believe in that one because most people have at least ONE friend that's really close THATS NOT#FROM THE SAME FUCKING GENDER GROUP#LIKE EVEN I!!! ME WHO WENT TO A STRICT RELIGIOUS SCHOOL FOR 9 YEARS!!! CAN FUCKING CONFIRM THAT ITS NOT TRUE#literally three of my closest friends are dudes we are HOMIES TILL WE DIE#and also the “guys and girls cant be friends without liking each other” what if i put a knife knife in your lungs??!! :3#peepol are so stupid its insane sometimes uhhh anyway :3
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fate
clarisse la rue x reader — percy jackson and the olympians
[fem!daughter of apollo reader]
[part 2 to the trees]
summary: clarisse is being weirdly standoffish, and you’re not one to cave to that, no matter how much you like her. and no matter how things go, you still have to get your weapons from the forest.
warnings: swearing, arguing, fighting, monsters, PINING BUT THEYRE IDIOTS, everyone’s so mad at each other rn, kissing (AHHHH), canon typical violence, again probably slightly ooc clarisse but hey i love her anyway
word count: 3.2k
(uhhh so this is probably not what anyone was expecting for part two but this is how i alway a planned it, so here it is!! tag list in reblogs and also thank you for the love on the trees! i love you all so much <3 and i’d die for you just like clarisse and this dumb bitch here would die for each other)
(this is much more enemies to lovers than the first one btw so have fun)
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the day after capture the flag was always a little tense. of course it was. half the camp had just lost, and not many people at camp were good losers, especially not those who got their butts kicked.
this time, though, there was a new level of tension in the air.
ares kids didn’t often run the flag over the line themselves, and those who did were crowing about it at breakfast, then all morning too.
curiously, clarisse wasn’t. she was eating in silence, picking through her eggs like she was searching for something.
you’d never seen her like that before. no one had. but, it seemed you were the only person to notice. you always were, and you were okay with that.
your brother nudged your arm and shot you a questioning look, but you brushed him off with a smile.
why was clarisse so down? she’d won. what did she have to be upset about? was she mad at you? did you do something to piss her off in the tree? she hadn’t seemed exactly happy when she left.
stuck in your thoughts, you didn’t realise she’d met your eyes until your brother elbowed you.
“ow! what do you want?” you snapped, rubbing your rib cage tenderly.
“clarisse is staring at you,” he said with wide eyes. “dude… what did you do?”
“nothing,” you scoffed and stood up, taking your empty plate to the stack of dirty dishes, trying—and failing—to not look at clarisse as you left.
“y/n, wait up!”
you slowed down for sam as he jogged to catch up to you. there was a newfound bitterness in your mouth when you saw him. you’d never liked him, not like he’d liked you, but you’d never felt like you wanted to be away from him. not like you did in that moment then. but where would you go? to clarisse? yeah, right, she’d laugh in your face, regardless of whatever happened—or might have happened—in that tree.
“what’s up?” you asked. you couldn’t help your voice being drier than usual.
“just wanted to see how those arrows did you? were they good? i can make some more, if you want.” he looked almost eager to do so.
you smiled kindly. he really was sweet. “they were great, thanks, sam. best arrows i’ve ever used, even if i didn’t get too much of a chance to use them.” your steps faltered. “i did leave one in the forest though. i’ll have to get that later.”
your eyes locked on clarisse as she walked towards you down the path. two of her siblings were behind her, laughing, but she wasn’t. in fact, her jaw was set tight and she was glaring. at sam.
“i could come with you?” he suggested. “watch your back. keep you safe, you know?”
clarisse scoffed as she passed. “she doesn’t need you to keep her safe, tool-box.”
that was a little mean. sure, sam carried his tool-box everywhere, but you never know what might need to be fixed! despite yourself, you had to hold in a laugh. your eyes were alight with amusement as you locked gaze with clarisse.
she looked proud of herself, a jaunty grin on her lips. you couldn’t help your gaze dropping to them briefly. she smiled wider. it was infuriating. she now knew what her effect on you was, and she was using it.
“if she needed someone to protect her, she’d come to me, right, angel?” she tilted her head.
your mouth was infuriatingly dry. you nodded. “uh—“
“whatever,” sam snapped. “come on, y/n. let’s go.”
you kind of wanted to stay, but his grip on your arm didn’t leave any room for an argument. you trailed after him as he left, glancing over your shoulder just in time to see clarisse’s face darken with anger.
“angel?” sam scoffed. “who does she think she is?”
“uh…”
“whatever. gods, she’s just so—“ he turned and faced you, almost causing you to bump into his chest. you’d never seen him so intense before. “stay away from her, y/n. seriously. she’s bad news.”
“she’s nice to me,” you protested.
“she’s not nice to anyone. don’t be naive.” he turned on his heel and started to walk away, then turned back, his face softer. “come on. do you want to learn how to weld? you said you did last week.”
did you? you didn’t remember that. but you did vaguely remember a conversation with sam that you spent zoned out and staring at clarisse as she trained, so that was probably it. “oh, no… i have to… train…”
he looked disappointed, but nodded. “okay, that’s cool. maybe another day. or maybe, we can… go for a walk together? or even have lunch on the beach?”
you nodded absently. “maybe.”
“great, it’s a date!”
you frowned. “it’s a what?”
he looked happier than you’d ever seen him. he even kissed your cheek before walking off, a new spring in his step. you stood there for a moment, eyes wide, wondering what the hell just happened. then you heard a scoff from behind you.
when you turned around, clarisse was walking away.
“clarisse,” you said softly, jogging after her. “clarisse, wait!”
“go hang out with your boyfriend, l/n.” she snapped, her arms crossed as she walked. “he’s probably waiting for you so you two can make out in that sweaty little sex dungeon they call a workshop.”
your eyebrows shot up. “okay, first of all, i’m pretty sure it is actually a workshop, and second of all, he’s still not my boyfriend!”
she scoffed again but didn’t answer, stomping up the steps to the ares cabin and stopping at the top, looking down at you.
you felt small under her gaze, but you didn’t back down.
“what are you doing here?” she asked after a moment.
“you said i could come get a new dagger,”you said.
she rolled her eyes and leaned on the porch railing. “and?”
you frowned, looking up at her. “and… i’m here to get one?”
she regarded you for a few seconds in silence, then, just as she was about to speak, a new voice called out.
“clarisse, are you giving out girlfriend privileges already?” one of her brothers, marcus, you thought, stepped into the doorway of the cabin and peered around her to look at you. he looked like a stereotypical son of ares: buff, tall and mean. “that’s cute.” he continued, looking at you like you were an animal in a zoo.
“she’s not my girlfriend,” she scoffed like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
well, that hurt.
“yeah, we’re just—“
“we’re not even friends,” she added hurriedly, not even looking at you. “she just thinks she’s special.”
your jaw clenched. that really hurt. “i don’t think i’m special,” you snapped. “i think i want you to honour your word from yesterday or go and get my dagger out of the forest for me.”
“not my fault you forgot your dagger,” she studied her nails nonchalantly.
“but if you hadn’t thrown my dagger out of a tree and tossed my new arrow aside like it was trash then i wouldn’t have forgotten. and maybe if you hadn’t leaned in like you were about to kiss me, maybe i wouldn’t have forgotten either.” your gaze was as sharp as hers was, meeting in the middle with fire and lightning crackling between you.
she stepped forward, face to face with you. for a second, you thought she’d punch you, but you didn’t back down.
then she laughed. it wasn’t at all like her laugh in the tree the day before. this was her cold, cruel laugh that she usually saved for her victims. with a start, you realised that’s what you were: another victim of clarisse la rue. your heart broke for a split second before you pulled yourself together and straightened your back, meeting her eyes.
“kiss you?” she snickered. “get your head out of your ass, angel, you’re not all that because you can shoot a bow and climb a tree.”
you stepped closer to her, so you were right up in her face. “and you’re not all that because you scare away everyone who cares about you, just because your daddy’s a little mean. you don’t need to be a bitch about everything.”
you regretted it instantly. you’d gone too far. you knew that.
her face dropped and a hurt look flashed through her eyes, but it died as soon as it came to life.
you stepped back and turned, marching away.
“where are you going?” she called after you. “we’re not finished here!”
“you have something else to say to me, clarisse, you come find me!” you shot back, your voice hard. you didn’t start arguments often, but goddamn did you finish them.
you stomped into the forest, determined to find your dagger and arrow so you could prove to both clarisse and sam that you were capable of more than just shooting arrows from trees and running away from fights.
it was darker today. the clouds that covered camp half-blood permeated through the forest, leaving a heavy weight suspended among the trees. the air felt thicker, even, and the birdsong seemed quieter than usual. was there something around? something hanging in the air, waiting to attack you? drag your body back to camp and leave it on clarisse’s doorstep like a cat bringing in a dead bird?
or was your fear just because you were alone instead of with the rest of camp.
whatever it was, it put you on edge.
there was a clicking sound behind you, like someone was cracking a joint, but when you turned, no one was there. you weren’t foolish enough to call out.
you could feel a chill going down your spine, and that’s when you knew: the first shoe had dropped.
your eyelids fluttered and you nearly dropped to the ground, but you leaned heavily against a tree to catch yourself. typical. go out on your own, thinking you can take care of yourself and you get hit with a premonition. how’s that for fate?
you let the feeling wash over you; the pure panic of the near future and the warm grip of a hand on your wrist, like someone was pulling you along.
the future was not looking promising.
there was another clicking sound behind you as you finally managed to straighten up, much closer this time.
you turned around.
the bushes were rustling.
you suddenly realised what that clicking sound was.
mandibles.
two ants the size of german shepherds burst through the foliage. myrmeke.
there was the other shoe, dropping real hard.
“shit!” you stumbled backward, reaching for a weapon. you had no weapon. “double shit!”
you turned and ran.
the ants were fucking fast. they could have caught up to you if you weren’t so agile, turning and springing off in different directions every few steps, sending them careening into trees and rocks. that was the only thing keeping you alive.
where even were you? you didn’t recognise this area. hopefully you weren’t running directly for their anthill. that would be a real twist of fate.
then you burst into a new area, this one with a large tree—a large tree that you recognised.
“yes!” you exclaimed, dashing for the trunk. you found your dagger easily, then your discarded arrow too. you didn’t know what good they’d do against the myrmeke, considering that their shells were as hard as armour and, while force was good in some cases, you had to admit that sharpness may have helped you against them.
you couldn’t run anymore. your screaming lungs told you that. you couldn’t climb either. the ants could climb better than you and you’d be a sitting duck up there, no matter how high you went. but maybe, just maybe, you could hold them off until they got bored or someone realised you were missing.
it wasn’t easy, but you managed to deflect and dodge the myrmeke’s attacks. they were fast, but you were faster. you even managed a swipe at one of their legs as you rolled past, but all it did was leave a tiny chink in its armour.
you were beginning to lose hope.
honestly, what you wouldn’t give for a spear right now. your blunt dagger and slim arrow were about as good as a toothpick against these monsters.
just as you were backed against the tree that you’d once found a safe haven, you heard a battle cry. you could have sobbed from relief, but instead, as the spear-wielding figure landed on top of one of the ants, driving her weapon into the gap between its armoured plates, you took your opportunity to stab your arrow with as much force as you could into the other ant’s gaping mouth, slipping it precisely between its mandibles and, hopefully, into its brain.
it jerked back in pain and screeched, the sound making your ears ring, but it didn’t die. instead, it looked rightfully pissed off, and now it had an arrow sticking from its mouth.
as your saviour pulled her spear from the ants back, a warm, brown liquid sprayed on you. it smelled like ants always did after you crushed them, just a million times worse. you wondered if this was revenge for all the ants you’d murdered in your life.
“gross!” you exclaimed, wiping it off your face.
“grow up, bows, we gotta go!” clarisse. your saviour was clarisse. of course.
just as you were about to protest, two more myrmeke crept out of the forest towards you.
she gripped your wrist, right where that warmth was in your premonition, and dragged you away, making you drop your dagger in the rush.
“i dropped my—“
“save it!” she snapped, pulling you along.
the desperation in her voice kicked you into gear and you started running faster, alongside her now.
you didn’t use the same tactics as before. instead of dodging, you just ran as fast as you could and prayed that the myrmeke would be slower. clarisse seemed to know where she was going, at least.
“you’re such an idiot!” clarisse yelled as they ran.
“we’re doing this now?” you panted incredulously.
“you could have died!”
“we’ll both die if you don’t stop yelling at me!”
finally, gloriously, you breached the edge of the forest and stepped into camp. the myrmeke wouldn’t follow you there.
you dropped to you knees, panting and staring into the forest. clarisse was standing in front of you, her spear ready, just in case.
you’d stepped into a quiet part of camp up behind the amphitheatre, so there was no one around to see you, and no one around to help you. you had a feeling that if the myrmeke didn’t kill you, clarisse wouldn’t hesitate.
once it was clear that they weren’t following, she rounded on you.
you were still on your knees, your legs too tired and shaky with adrenaline to stand, but she didn’t seem to care.
“what were you thinking, going in on your own?” she snapped.
“well i wasn’t expecting to get attacked by killer ants within the camp’s borders!” you protested.
“everyone knows they’re there.”
“i forgot, okay? i’m not perfect.”
“oh, i know.” she rolled her eyes.
“gods, would you just fuck off?” you finally stood up, face to face with her. “you’re horrible sometimes, you know that? i can’t believe i’ve defended you.”
“i don’t need your defending.”
“and i don’t need your help!”
“you would have died!” she yelled, emphasising every word.
“but i didn’t!” you shouted back.
she rolled her eyes and stepped closer, anger practically radiating off her. “yeah, thanks to me. you’d be dead if i hadn’t followed you in there—“
“why did you follow me?” you asked suddenly, voice harsh.
“what?”
“why did you follow me?” you asked again, slower. “i didn’t ask you to look after me, clarisse.”
there it was again. that slightly relaxation of her shoulders when you said her name. it drove you nuts. you didn’t know if you wanted to kiss her for hours or throw her to the myrmeke.
she tensed up again and turned to leave. “whatever. i’m done here.”
“i’m not!” you gripped her shoulder and pulled her back around. to your surprise, she didn’t pull a weapon on you. “why did you follow me, clarisse? was it the same reason that you were flirting with me yesterday? and why you’re so protective of me? and why you hate sam?”
“i wasn’t flirting with you,” she grumbled. “and i hate sam for… personal reasons. and i’m not protective of you! why would you even think that?”
“that’s all bullshit and you know it,” you sneered.
“gods, you aggravate me!” she exclaimed.
“you didn’t have to come help me,” you scoffed, stepping back. “i didn’t ask for your help.”
“and i didn’t want to help you!”
“then why did you? huh? you could handle not winning a fight? you wanted to finish the argument on your terms?” your eyebrows were raised and your face was cold. “or were you gonna beat me up but the giant killer ants got to me first?”
she looked like she was about to explode with anger. “because i love you!”
the air escaped from your lungs in one sharp moment, and it looked like hers did the same thing.
“what?” you asked, your voice softer.
it was silent. she looked like she was trying to find something to say, but couldn’t. her mouth opened and closed weakly, and she shook her head, lips pressed together. you wanted to kiss her.
so you did.
she tensed up as your hands came to her waist, pulling her body and lips against yours hard. then, finally, she relaxed. she dropped her spear at your feet and raised her hands to your hair, threading her fingers through the strands. she was a softer kisser than you’d expected, but it was definitely her. it was all her. the tug on your hair, the underlying, undeniable harshness of the kiss, the spear that rested against your foot. it was perfectly clarisse. you could have kissed her until the sun went down and the ants came and carried you both to their anthill, and if you stayed kissing her like this, you wouldn’t even mind.
when, finally, you pulled away, you were both breathing heavily. all of the tension from the fight hid dissipated, leaving only a warm sparkling in the air, like a mirage around her face in the sunlight. maybe that was a sign? or a vision? whatever it was, it was heaven-sent.
she was smiling. she looked softer like this. gods, you loved it. it felt like fate, and you knew a lot about fate. fate was fickle. fate was cruel. fate brought you the arguments, the myrmeke, the terror. but fate also brought you this. this girl who was glowing in the sun like she was made of pure rays of light. the girl with a spear that she laid down at your feet and would save you barehanded if you asked. the girl who had sunk into your arms like she was made to be there.
“do you think i can get that new dagger now?” you asked cheekily, playing with the hem of her camp shirt. “i mean, i have girlfriend privileges now, right, babe?”
clarisse rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “shut up, devil.”
“ooh, devil. that’s new,” you teased. “i like it. it’s apt.”
“it sure is.” she looked down. “i’m… sorry, by the way.”
“me too,” you nodded. “i didn’t really mean any of that, you know?”
“‘cause you like me,” she said in a teasing voice.
“yeah, ‘cause i like you, or whatever.” you kissed her again, smiling against her lips. “and i know you like me too, because you so did nearly kiss me in that tree yesterday.”
she shrugged. “maybe. maybe not. guess we’ll never know.”
you found out at the next capture the flag game. and the next. and the next. she would go out of her way to find you, defeat you, then kiss you before running off to win the games. and honestly, you didn’t really mind.
fate was a fickle thing, but with clarisse by your side, no one could touch you. sam left you alone, people started treating you better, and you had everything you could ask for. her.
and whenever you two argued, you’d go into the woods together and kill some ants. after all, what says ‘couple’s bonding’ quite like murder?
#clarisse la rue#clarisse la rue x reader#clarisse la rue x y/n#clarisse la rue x you#pjo#pjo tv show#pjo x reader#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#dior goodjohn
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Genshin men when you bring them home to meet the parents and they find out that your sister is the favored child of the family and she now has her eyes set on them.
Uhhh, I really like that idea.. It has so much angst potential... but am I gonna do it...?
Characters Included: Heizou; Thoma; Alhaitham
Content: gender neutral reader; reader has a sister; slight cursing; some jealousy themes; nothing else besides that
Word count: 2k words
Have fun reading!<3
Heizou
He is so fucking nervous!
He is good at hiding it, but you know him by now, you know how he gets and how he acts when he doesn't want others to know his true feelings, so you know and are aware of it
Heizou knows about your strained relationship with your family. Your parents having favoured your sister over you, no matter the circumstances
you did have contact with your family, but it was on a very low, unregular basis. Not that he minded that, though. It was your life, your decision. He's sure you wouldn't do that without having a good reason for it.
You had agreed on a nice, easy dinner at your parents house where they would get the chance to meet your boyfriend for the first time
upon arriving at the house where you spent your childhood, Heizou got more and more nervous. Somewhere along the way, he grabbed one of your hands, holding it tightly in his own.
you tried reassuring him, giving him a small smile as you held his hand, and it did help him a bit
soon, your mother answered the front door, followed by your father and introductions were made
Heizou held your hand throughout the entire thing, not daring to let go of you, but he seemed to relax more and more as the seconds went by
your parents noticed this as well, looking briefly at your joined hands, but chose not to say anything about it
you sat down on the table and a few minutes later, your sister arrived
she was acting entirely over the top with you, throwing herself at you and acting far too friendly. It made you somewhat uncomfortable, but you didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin the good mood that everyone has
for the first few minutes of dinner, everything seemed fine. Conversations were held, your parents asked Heizou some questions, nothing too bad
but then, your mom made some comment about you again, and it all went downhill from there for you
"You know, you're exactly the type of man we always wanted for our daughter. Are you sure you want to settle with (name)?"
then, your mother proceeded on to tell him every little thing about your sister. How she was working a much better job than you with better hours and more pay. How she was more beautiful than you. How she was just in general the better choice between the two of you
Heizou was dumbfounded by this behaviour and he now understood entirely why you had almost no contact with your family. This has been your entire life? Archons, he wanted to rip them a new one, for your own sake..
your mother was still rambling on, your sister just sitting there, smiling at Heizou, thinking that he was considering his options
everyone, including you, was surprised when he suddenly slammed his hands on the table, making all eyes fall on him
"With all due respect, Ma'am. I would rather die than do something so horrible to (Name). They are a wonderful partner, the best I could ever wish for. So, pardon us, but we are going to take our leave now."
with that, he grabbed your hand and you both walked out of the house, ignoring the calls of your family for you to come back and that they didn't mean it like that
secretly though, you were so glad and relieved. When your mother started saying stuff like that again, you just mentally accepted that this was it, yet again.
But Heizou surprised you and stood up for you against your own family. It made you feel so incredibly loved and cared for
that night, he hugged you closer to him than ever before, now reassuring you that you were his number one, that he loved you only and would do everything in this world, just to see you smile again...
Thoma
He's such a sweet partner, always caring about you and making sure that you're comfortable with him
Thoma likes to be a provider in a relationship. In the sense that he likes to cook for you, help you clean up, doing little things for you around the house. It's his way of saying "I love you"
Thoma will never push you into doing anything you don't want to, or making you open up to him
he's more than happy to take things slowly, earning your trust
and when you finally open up to him about whatever things you want to talk about, he's there for you, listening to everything you have to say without interrupting you
he also knows about the strained relationship with your family. He might not know all the details, but he knows enough to trust you in your decisions regarding the matter
he would never comment on it or make you do anything since it's not his place to judge or intrude on
with that being said, it just so happened that one day, while out shopping for ingredients, he ran into a certain someone
well, more like, a certain someone that ran into him. She profusely apologized for running into him and somehow got him tangled up into conversation
Thoma, being the nice person that he is, tried finding a way out of the conversation without coming across as rude. But, honestly, he just wanted to get home to you as soon as possible
Somehow, the conversation shifted and the topic of partners came up. Thoma said that he was happily taken right now, but she just kept pressing with her questions until your name slipped out his mouth
Thoma could clearly see how her eyes lit up at the mention of your name and he had a feeling that she would just bombard him with thousands more questions
so, he quickly made up an excuse and got out of there, walking home at a fast pace
once he arrived, he told you about the encounter he just had, which made you think. It all sounded strangely familiar to you, even his description of the person rang a bell somewhere in your mind
however, you didn't have much more time to dwell on those thoughts as a knock could be heard from the front door
exchainging glances, you went to answer the door, only to find your sister standing in front of you
eyes wide, you wondered how she found you here, but that question was quickly answered
"Oh, so you ARE his lover! God, now I'm so glad I followed him all the way back here!"
She threw herself in your arms, then quickly abandoned you and went inside your home. You were still so shocked and didn't realize this but when you came back to your senses, you quickly went inside again to the kitchen were you heard her voice from
Thoma was looking at you confused as well, but she just continued talking to him like nothing had happened and they were still out in the city where she ran into him
"...I mean, I'm so glad it was you! You're so handsome, and strong apparently for carrying all those bags back here! Say, why are you with (Name) anyway? Like, they have no redeeming qualities. You should look for more suitable partners, like me! I could give you so much more!"
She smiled at him like her little speech would be all it takes for Thoma to change his mind. The sad part was, you were expecting it to work as well, having dealt with exactly that your entire life, she always got what she wanted
"...Out.", Thoma said. It was the only thing he said, but his tone was so unusal from his normal self. It was cold and demanding, making your sister shiver in her place.
She quickly grabbed her stuff and left your home again, not saying another word
You looked after her for a second, but then in the next you felt two strong arms wrap around you from behind, his face burrying itself in the crock of your neck
for a long time, he remained silent, before he spoke again. "Sorry. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that for so long."
you were perplexed at his words, but quickly hugged him back, silently thanking him for staying by your side
Alhaitham
To most people, Alhaitham comes off as a cold and calculated person without any emotions
most people will be surprised when they find out that he was indeed in a committed relationship
and they were even more surprised when they find out how sweet, loving and expressive you are
most would think that he would want a partner similar to him, closed off and not all that social. But you are the exact opposite to that
Not that Alhaitham was paying any mind to the opinions of others about him and his love life in the first place
To you, Alhaitham was the most ideal partner you could have hoped for
he was caring, attentive towards you, listened to you even if he didn't give that impression
his attention was always on you, you were in his thoughts when not with him. Just completely head over heels for you
However, he would not know about the strained relationship with your parents. He knew you weren't in much contact with them, and that's all he really needed or wanted to know. He never bothered you about it
But then, one day, you asked him if he wanted to meet your parents. You seemed unsure about the proposal, but in the end, he agreed to it nevertheless
the days before the event, you became a nervous mess. Alhaitham had no idea what was going on, but he tried to be there for you and support you
he did ask if you wanted to talk to him about anything, but you declined and he didn't push you anymore after that
then, the evening finally arrived where you were meeting up with your family at a local restaurant
when you arrived, your partents and sister were already there, waiting on the two of you. your mother spotted you first, waving to grab your attention
you then went over to sit with them
Introductions were a bit awkward at first, but after a few minutes, things seemed to settle down a bit as your parents engaged in conversation with you, trying to catch up on things
However, it quickly became clear to Alhaitham that your sister was always trying to upstage you with absolutely anything. You got a good job? Well, she got an even better one. You got paid so and so much? Well, wouldn't you look at that, her numbers were even higher than yours
at first, you tried to ignore it, but as always, your parents quickly began ignoring you again, instead congratulating your sister on how good she was doing for herself. It dampened your mood quite a bit, but you still wanted to give this a chance
that was, until your sister said something very specific. "Yeah. The only thing missing to top it all of would be an amazing boyfriend now. Say, Alhaitham. Why don't you dump my sibling and get with me instead?" She even winked at him after saying this
Immediately, your parents agreed to her proposal, looking expectantly at Alhaitham
said man only took a quick glance at everyone at the table, before throwing some money on the table, grabbing your hand and standing up, heading for the exit
"I listened to you disrespecting my partner for long enough. And you wonder why they hold no contact with you anymore. Really, I'm glad they got out of your grasp."
With that, you both left the restaurant. None of you spoke a word until you got to Alhaitham's house again, where he immediately pulled you into his arms as soon as you were inside
so for a while, you just stood there in his embrace while he silently reassured you that you had nothing to worry about
you were the only one to him and he would spend his entire life proving this to you if necessary..
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact headcanons#genshin headcanons#genshin scenarios#genshin impact scenarios#genshin x reader headcanons#genshin impact x reader headcanons#heizou x reader#heizou x you#heizou headcanons#genshin impact heizou#thoma x reader#thoma x you#thoma headcanons#genshin impact thoma#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x you#alhaitham headcanons#genshin impact alhaitham#genshin impact hurt/comfort
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Rules
The mountains have many rules. But out of all of them, five are the most important.
Mitsuri x fem Reader x Obanai
Words: 5.3k
Tw: Dark content, yandere monsters, monster fucking?, dubcon, squirting, fingering, smut, submissive obanai! Kinda don ish mitsuri?, uhhh also shitty smut kinda.
The mountains have many rules.
Of course, to keep the locals and tourists safe when living/visiting here. You remember when you and your parents first visited your grandparents up here in the mountains. Your grandparents made sure your parents told you beforehand about all the rules you had to follow for your stay.
Rule number one: Don’t be/go outside after the sun sets. That’s when they come out.
Rule number two: Don’t whistle once it’s dark. It attracts them.
Rule number three: You don’t see/hear anything. You ignore it and go on about your day.
Rule number four: Always keep your doors and windows locked. Don't let them in, even if they are outside begging to be let in. Don’t. They aren’t what they seem.
And the last and most important rule
Rule number five: If you hear your name being called. Don’t. Respond. Back. It’s not who you think it might be. Ignore it and don’t entertain it. If you want to see the light of day again.
Easy five rules to follow, right?
You always made sure to follow those five simple rules. Growing scared from all the stories the locals will tell little 6 year old you. Your parents also told you to be careful. That yes the woods are pretty, but they aren’t safe.
You haven’t seen your grandparents since you were 16. It’s been a long 8 years since then. You and your parents stopped visiting them after work has been catching up to them and you being busy with school. Of course you did call in occasionally and asked how they were doing and if they have been keeping themselves safe and healthy. Not wanting to grow distant with them since you love your grandparents very much.
But after a while, the calls slowly stopped coming in. Life is getting too busy for you and your parents.
It wasn't until a week ago when your aunt called and dropped the horrible news.
Your grandparents have passed away
You remember the feeling of time stopping right then and there. The cries of your mother going muffled as you just stood there.
The funeral wasn’t any better. Everyone was crying and screaming in agony. Your father was next to your weeping mother trying to comfort her as she cried for her parents. You couldn’t do anything but just stand there. Feeling useless.
The moment you got home you quickly ran to your room. That’s when finally all the tears and pain came out. You cried yourself to sleep that night.
-
Your grandparents left the house to you. Their only granddaughter. Before they died, it was already planned out the day you were born that if anything were to happen to them or if they would die. The house will belong to you.
And the house
Oh the house is beautiful
Think about those beautiful old Victorian homes from the 1800s. That’s the beautiful home your grandparents left for you.
And they knew you loved the area. Besides all the rules and weird things that roam the place. You loved it.
So here you are. In front of the house. With your parents standing behind you.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay? We can stay here with you for a few days”
“I’m going to be okay mom. Don’t worry about me”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes dad. I’m 24 years old, I’m pretty sure I can handle myself just fine” You could tell that didn’t help at all and maybe made it a little more ... .worse?
“Okay….make sure you keep the doors and windows locked! A-a-and to not let anyone in okay?!”
“And no staying outside after the sun sets! You never-“
“Never know what can be lurking in those woods yeah yeah I got it” Your mom sighs before she gives you a kiss on your forehead.
“Okay. Stay safe and take care. Me and your father will check in on you in a few weeks, Kay?”
“Mhm”
After 10 long minutes, they left with a goodbye and now you were left alone. You noticed that the sun will begin to set soon so you called it a day and quickly rushed inside.
The house still looked the same. Same wallpaper and furniture. Your grandparents wanted all their old furniture that they bought/collected over the years to stay with the house. To stay with you.
And you didn’t have a problem with that. In fact, you're grateful they left you with all their old furniture. In this economy, a couch will probably cost the same as your rent-.
Literally
You head back upstairs and decide to buy groceries tomorrow morning.
-
“So, how is it so far?” Your friend eagerly asks.
“It’s not bad. Peaceful actually”
“Mm is that so? Those mountains give me the creeps!” You chuckle as you continue making your breakfast.
“Yeah trust me, I was afraid when I first visited this place. But as long as you follow the rules, your pretty much safe”
“Jeez, don’t know how you do it”
Today you already have a little something planned out for the day. For example, after breakfast you’ll go to the local market for groceries. After that you’ll go visit some old spots that your grandparents used to take you to during your summers and after that you’ll be home!
Simple small plans
“Yeah well for starters, I basically grew up here. And my grandparents were very overprotective of me when I would visit here”
“Well then maybe I should go up there and visit you! You’ll protect me from those things right?” You giggle as you answer her question.
“Of course I will”
“Good. Well I’ll talk to you later! I have a shit ton of stuff to do today” She sighs and you can tell she’s slumped over her kitchen counter right now.
“Well I’ll let you go now. But you better come visit once you're free!”
“You bet I am!” You said your goodbyes before hanging up.
The weather was perfect today for the small things you planned out. You made your plate and sat down at the nice dining table. You scrolled through your phone bored out of your mind as you ate the food you made.
You scrolled through pictures and videos of family, friends, or even random people before coming across an article from the town’s official account.
Two teenagers were found mutilated in the woods today earlier this morning. The two teens were reported missing on September 3rd at 9:46 pm by their parents after the teens failed to arrive home on time.
The teens were found today on September 16 at 7:23 am, two weeks after their disappearance. Local sheriffs said that they received a call from a tourist who had the misfortune to stumble upon the dead bodies of the two teens.
“Jesus” You mutter as you frown.
You always knew stuff like this happens. People not taking the rules seriously and being outside way past curfew and BOOM. Next day found dead.
You won’t lie, but you still get chills knowing that you aren’t the only one’s living here. The creatures that lurk in these mountains aren’t friendly to anyone.
Not even animals are safe as you remember stumbling upon multiple dead corpses of the unfortunate growing up.
Those things are vicious, vile creatures with zero mercy.
The words your grandmother used to tell you before reading you a bedtime story.
And she’s right. Those things show no mercy.
To those unfortunate souls that stumble upon those creatures. May they rest in eternal peace.
-
It’s been a couple weeks since you officially moved in. Life is peaceful living here. And you finally adjusted to life here!
Anyways, you were currently watching some of your favorite movies from childhood while you snacked on a bag of your favorite chips. Your parents left an hour ago after they came to check up on you. You three spent good quality time together before they had to leave for the long drive home.
You never knew living in a quiet area would be great. No more honking of cars or the screaming of people outside!
Just peace and quiet
You quietly munch on your chips as you continue watching the movie. Unaware of the eyes that were currently watching you.
No
It wasn’t in front of your window
It was behind the trees from outside
You continue eating before you frown as you hear a small click.
You ignored it at first, but then you heard the sound of a nail tapping against your window.
That’s when you completely froze
NOPE!
You quickly turned off the tv before grabbing your chips and phone and booking it upstairs to your room.
You locked your bedroom door and checked to see if your window was locked. Once you made sure everything was locked you quickly got into bed and left your chips on your night stand.
Definitely not tonight
You soon fell asleep all the while ignoring the strange noises coming from outside in the pitch dark woods.
1/5
-
People have said that the land was hunted. Curse from the Gods after humans yet again began to be greedy and cruel.
Others have said that the creatures that lurk are aliens or other creatures from space. They mysteriously appeared here one day and decided to claim the land as their home.
And others have said that those things used to be people. People who deceived the Gods and as punishment were turned into disgusting vile creatures who now live here in the mountains.
Anyways, there were a lot of rumors surrounding this place and how it came to be.
But even after all that. The land and mountains are beautiful. The most breathtaking place you can ever step foot in.
But people tend to forget about that when the stories and sightings of those creatures go around and get more attention than the beautiful small town itself.
Besides, the history of this town truly is a mystery
-
“Shit” your eyes kept going back and forth to the watch on your wrist and to the road.
Today you drove out to the city to meet up with your friends to go eat at a very popular restaurant after not seeing each other in a while. After eating, one of your friends suggested hitting up a local bar to just chill and have fun. Obviously you all agreed and went.
But unfortunately for you, you didn’t keep track of time and by the time you noticed, it was starting to get pretty late.
“Shit shit shit!” You were a little buzzed from the few drinks you took while at the bar but that didn’t really matter right now as your number one priority was to get home before the sun fully sets, which is already too late.
You kept your eyes on the road. Not taking your eyes off of it as you finally accepted defeat.
You broke one of the rules
You just hoped by the time you get home you don’t get mutilated at your front door step.
A sigh of relief leaves your lips as your house comes into view. You quickly parked and turned off the car and sat there for a moment.
It was quiet
You quickly snatch your keys out of your purse and look around for anything. Your eyes then turn to look at your front door and you take a deep breath. Keys ready in hand, you quickly got out of the car and ran to your door. You opened the door and quickly rushed inside before locking it.
You stood still for a moment. After what felt like forever you sighed in relief and decided that that will be the last time you’ll ever do that again.
No more rule breaking
You told yourself as you walked upstairs. Unaware of the glowing eyes peering outside your window.
2/5
Nothing bad or strange happened that night. You were relieved to wake up the next morning. You had a hard time getting some sleep after you broke one of the five rules. Thinking you wouldn’t see the light of day if you were to go to sleep.
But by some miracle you woke up fine
Which you were very grateful for after seeing more articles of bodies being found deep inside the woods. It’s been getting pretty dangerous lately as more news of dead bodies being found in those woods has become more frequent.
The townspeople were starting to get worried and scared to even step foot outside. Afraid their bodies will be found next.
When your parents found out about you breaking one of the rules, they were livid!
They scolded you for being so careless and not caring about your safety. It took a minute to calm them down but once you did your mom scolded you one last time before hanging up.
“So what are you going to do?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“C’mon y/n, you're seriously planning on still staying after more bodies are being found and not only that but you breaking one of the rules?! Girl you’re crazy” You chuckled and continued folding your clothes.
“Nothing bad happened after that night. Seriously, I'm fine”
“You’re fucking crazy”
“Am not” She sighs and you could tell she’s stressing.
“Just be careful okay? I don’t want you being found next”
“I promise I’ll be fine so quit worrying before you get a grey hair!”
“Oh fuck you!” You both laugh before saying your goodbyes and hanging up. You finish folding the last bit of clothes before letting out a loud sigh. You were tired after today’s event. You did some grocery shopping and some heavy chores.
And by heavy chores….you deep cleaned the whole house
So now you were straight up tired after running around all day. Before your ass could even hit the bed, you heard a loud knock coming from downstairs. You froze and waited to hear it again, thinking it was just your tired mind playing tricks on you.
Knock knock knock
You looked outside and saw that it was dark.
Who the hell could it be knocking at your door this late at night?
You made your way downstairs and the knocking on the door became louder.
“Hello?! Is anyone home?!”
Your heart dropped
It was a female voice
“Please! Our car broke down and we don’t know what to do! If anyone’s home can you please help us!?”
You stayed completely still
What the fuck do you do?!
You quietly make your way up the door and decide to take a small peek at the peephole.
There stood two figures. A women and a man.
The woman looked frightened as she kept looking over her shoulder and the man beside her kept caressing her back as if trying to calm her down.
They look human
You stepped back from the door
Should I open it? Should I help these people and let them in?
“Please, we can’t be outside at this hour so if anyone’s home please let us in” This time the man spoke up.
The knocking stopped after that. Only the sounds of the women’s cries can be heard.
“It’s no use! Obanai-San we’re gonna die!”
“No we’re not. C’mon, it’s best that we get back to the car and just stay there for the night”
“B-but what if those things get us on our way to the car?! No no no! Please whoever is in there let us in!”
“Mitsuri-“
You opened the door which caused the women to screech and hide behind the male. You pointed your gun at them and the man quickly covered the women with his body.
“What are you guys doing knocking at my door?!”
“We need help. Our car broke down not to far from here and we need a place to stay for the night” The man says as he looks at the gun and then back at you.
“And what makes you think I believe you? For all I know you guys can be one of those creatures!”
“If we were you would’ve been dead the moment you opened that door” He says.
“Please! We really do need help!” This time the woman behind him speaks up.
You looked at the two in front of you carefully. They look like they really need help and they also look human. The man is right, if they weren’t they would’ve killed you by now. You sigh before lowering your gun. This makes the two relax and you quickly motion them inside.
“You know it’s dangerous walking around here when it’s dark right?” You say. Eyeing the two suspiciously.
“Of course we know”
“Where were you guys headed?” You asked. Still skeptical about the two of them.
“We were going to go visit my parents! They live in the next town over but while on our way there our car broke down in the middle of the road!” The colorful hair women cried out. You raised a brow at her.
“Why did you guys decide to walk all the way over here? You could’ve just waited it out in your car”
“That was the original plan. But someone wanted to go ask for help” the man says as he looks at the woman next to him. She goes bright red before speaking up.
“I was scared! I heard multiple stories about this place!” You chuckle. The mountains and town are really popular with its supernatural stories after all.
“You guys can spend the night” The two sigh in relief. Thankful for your kindness.
“Thank you so much! You are so kind!” The woman blurted out as she smiled.
“Yeah….but by morning you guys have to be out”
“That won’t be a problem” The man says. You just nod and show them the way to one of the many guest bedrooms you have.
“Oh my goodness! How impolite of us to not introduce ourselves! My name is mitsuri!”
“This is obanai! Thank you once again!”
Okay she’s definitely not one of those creatures. You relaxed a bit and decided why not also introduce yourself.
“I’m y/n”
“Oh! Y/n you have such a very pretty name!” She says as she smiles.
“Ah, thank you. Your name is very pretty also!” The woman beams. Very happy to hear that.
“Well I’ll leave the two of you alone. Doors and windows are locked so there’s no need to worry about the monsters coming in!” You joke. They both nod. You leave to go back to your room for much needed rest after a long day. You sleep in utter peace. Not knowing that even with doors and windows locked. The monster still made their way inside your precious home.
3/5
The next day you woke up to the two strangers gone. The bedroom that they stayed in from the night before was left cleaned and untouched. Like they never used it.
“At least they made the bed”
You moved on after that. Weeks have passed and the strangers have become ... .Well strangers!
You just got home from work and you were slumped. It was late, yes but you managed to get home before the sun set. You were ready to just fall asleep in the sweat and dirt from today at work until you remembered that you recently washed your bedsheets and covers.
You were currently washing up and scrubbing away all the dead skin and dirt that has built up while also thinking about what you should make tomorrow for dinner.
Your parents are coming to visit tomorrow and are also staying for a few days so you wanted to make sure you have all the ingredients for tomorrow's dinner.
“Maybe I should make some pasta? Shrimp Alfredo? Or maybe some chicken curry? Orrr chicken quesadillas? Or maybe-“
You continue to ramble about all the possible foods you can make for tomorrow’s dinner.
Once you were done cleaning up, you made sure to quickly write down the dinner plans so you wouldn’t forget by tomorrow morning.
“Phewwww! Welp time for bed!” You made yourself comfortable before drifting off to blissful sleep.
Unaware of the small whistle that slipped out your mouth earlier in the shower.
4/5
You managed to wake up bright and early to get the things you needed to make tonight’s dinner. Your parents are coming in a few hours so you wanted to get the ingredients for dinner out of the way so you wouldn’t have to worry about it later.
You went to your local market to buy all the fresh vegetables and fruits first before going to another store to pick up some other stuff that you needed.
You were excited. It’s been some time since you saw your parents so you wanted everything to be perfect. After picking up the last few ingredients you drove home. You also needed to do some last minute cleaning before focusing on the dinner part.
Once you arrived home you saw something strange laying on your front porch.
“Weird…I don’t remember ordering anything” You parked your car before slowly getting out of the vehicle. The moment you got out a stench hit you straight in the face. You wanted to vomit and you quickly covered half of your face.
It was coming from your front porch
Slowly, you walked towards your porch to get a closer look at what was there and you noticed flies surrounding the thing that was there.
“Oh my God”
You took a step back when you noticed what was there.
It was a dead deer
The poor thing was….mutilated. There was a dead mutilated deer on your front porch.
You felt sick
Your stomach turned and you felt like vomiting right then and there.
“So you found a dead deer on your front porch?”
“Yes”
“And nothing else? Dear are you okay?!”
“Mhm yes mom I’m fine” You called your parents immediately after seeing the dead animal in front of your house. The moment your parents heard, they immediately got in the car and started making their way to you a little earlier than what was planned.
“Go inside the house from the back door. Don’t touch anything and keep the doors locked. Stuff like this is usually a threat from those things, we’ll be there in 2 hours if traffic isn’t bad, but just stay inside okay?”
“Yes dad”
“Everythings going to be fine sweetheart, so don’t stress, okay?”
“Yes mom I’m already inside so don’t worry”
“Okay, we’ll be there soon”
And the call ended
Luckily you brought the grocery bags inside the house so you decided to start making dinner a little earlier than expected to get your mind off the dead animal that is still currently laying on your front porch.
You wouldn’t lie and say you weren’t scared. You were fucking terrified. When dead animals are left in front of someone’s house or backyard or land, 100% of the time that person is dead.
It’s a threat. Those things are threatening you and you don’t even know WHY.
You're trying to remember all the things you could’ve done to upset them - or it? You don’t know! You just can’t come up with anything that could explain why such a thing even happened!
You try to let it go and forget about it.
Maybe it’s a coincidence or…a mistake?
Maybe they got the wrong house, yeah?
You sigh and decide to just focus on dinner.
As you were washing some of the vegetables, you heard a faint click.
With the speed of light you turned off the water and stood completely still. You hear the faint sounds of tapping coming from the window of the living room.
Oh God
The sounds of nails dragging against the door is what you hear next. Long. Sharp. Nails.
You hear it before it stops. Then you hear the tap on the window again but now it’s coming from in front of you. You looked up at the window that is in front of your sink. You were lucky you have a small curtain covering the window because you know whatever is behind that window would’ve scared the ever living shit out of you.
You took a couple steps back before your back hit something. Immediately you froze.
You stayed still as whatever was behind you let out a low growl. You feel its long boney hands rest on your shoulders and you could physically feel your heart drop.
The thing then grips your shoulders and that was enough for you to pass out in fear.
Your head is pounding and you feel cold. You slowly opened your eyes and you saw that it was dark outside.
What
Was all that just a dream?
You tried to sit up but something cold stopped you from doing so. You looked up and saw that your wrists were tied. The cold breeze from the open window made you shiver.
Wait
Open window?!
You panicked and tried to sit up but you couldn’t. The chains on your wrist prevented you from moving let alone getting up. That’s when you also noticed that you weren’t fully clothed. Only your underwear was on and you felt scared.
What the fuck was happening?!
And then….you hear it again. The faint tapping sound of nails on the glass window. But this time you could tell it was coming from inside your room. You slowly turned your head to face the window of your bedroom.
There….you saw a tall slender figure.
But something about this…person? Seemed familiar.
The person….continued tapping its nail against the window and something about that gave you an eerie feeling.
Suddenly, it stops.
You hold your breath as its head slowly moves to look at you.
Your heart drops the moment you make eye contact with it.
“M-mitsuri?” You whisper.
You can’t believe the woman standing before you is the same woman you met a month ago.
She looks so different
She looks…taller and her face…her face doesn’t look human at all but it also does….does that even make sense?!
Her hair is loose and she seems to not be wearing any clothes. You quickly look away but the moment you do you look up to see obanai hovering over you while staring deeply into your soul.
He also looked different
But the thing that caught your attention the most was his mouth. You see the long cuts in the corner of his mouth. Giving him a snake-like appearance.
“You're awake” Her voice sounds different. Your heart starts to beat fast and you can feel tears already threatening to fall.
“W-why…w-what are you guys”
You closed your eyes. Not daring to look at either of them.
What the fuck are they doing in your house
“You're so pretty….you look so cute being underneath him” She says as she slowly starts caressing your hair. You whimper as you feel obanai beginning to nuzzle his face on your neck.
He was sniffing you
“Noo no no no please don’t kill me!” You cry out as you struggle against your chains. She just giggles before joining you two on the bed.
“We would never hurt you. Right obanai?” He just growls. You can feel his clawed hands beginning to fondle with your breast and you gulp the more you feel him press himself closer to you.
“No no no”
“Shhhh everything’s going to be fine….” You can feel her hand slowly start to make its way towards your private area. You cry as you feel her clawed finger rip your underwear before slowly playing with your clit.
“No! Please-“ You gasp when you feel the male's mouth on your chest. He takes a nipple in his mouth and you shiver feeling his long tongue swirl around it.
Mitsuri continues playing with your clit and she giggles seeing you squirm underneath her touch.
Cute
She thinks
You gasp the moment you feel her fingers slip inside your hole. You gripped onto the chains and bit your lip as tears slid down your cheeks.
“No wait! N-not there!” She begins to thrust her fingers in and out your hole and all you could do is shut your eyes tight as you tried your best to not make any noise. Meanwhile, obanai was having the time of his life sucking harshly at your nipples. A lewd pop is heard as he finally leaves your poor nipple alone.
“More” he growls. You feel relieved when her fingers leave your poor cunt alone. But that was soon gone when you felt something poking you from down there. Your blood runs cold the moment you look down to see a monstrous cock.
Terrified, you squirm and shake your head knowing what was going to happen.
“No no no! Please! That’s not going to fit, please let me go!”
They don’t even pay you any mind as he grabs ahold of both of your thighs and spreads your legs open. They both coo at you and mitsuri begins to caress your face as she calms you down.
His tip pokes your entrance. You can tell he’s trying to hold himself back as mitsuri starts to also caress his face. He leans against her touch and waits for the green light.
“Be careful. Human women are much more delicate than us” He nods before he starts lining up his tip against your hole. You gasp as you feel him slowly push in.
You were ashamed of how wet you were.
You cry out at the burning sensation you feel. Your poor little cunt is being stretched open for crying out loud! You try scooting back. Not wanting him in. But that soon stops as he grabs your waist and slams you down fully on his length. You scream as you gripped onto the chains.
“There there! Look how perfect you're taking him! Oh I knew you were perfect for us!”
You could feel your face heat up at the lewd sounds of your cunt on his cock and the groans and moans leaving him.
“S-slow down!”
You can hear him whimper as he buries his face on your neck. And no, he doesn’t slow down. In fact, he quickened his pace and you could feel your legs start to shake.
“So beautiful!” Your face burns seeing her staring to play with herself. She fondles one of her breasts while looking at the two of you intensely.
Before you know it, you squirt all over his length. The man holds on to you tight as he cums deep inside you. You breathe heavy, your body tired and sensitive from what it has experienced. You couldn’t keep your eyes open even for a second from how tired you were.
“Shhh sleep now. Don’t worry we’ll take great care of you” You lean against her touch and the last thing you see before sleep takes over you is the chains being cut off before your carefully picked up from the bed.
Your parents arrive at last. Your father sees the dead animal still laying on your front porch and him and your mother both quickly make their way in from the back door.
“Y/n! We’re here!” Your mother shouts. But she was met with silence. Worried, your parents quickly run upstairs in search of you. Entering your room, they see that you aren’t in there and that’s when they both begin to panic.
They search the whole house from top to bottom but only to be met with nothing. You weren’t there.
A few hours later they filed a missing persons report and asked for a search party to help find you.
Unfortunately, upon seeing the dead Animal in front of your porch, the sheriff and people of the town broke the news to your parents about you falling victim to those monsters.
After all
The mountains have many rules. And you broke 5 of the most important ones.
-
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