#how did i casually watch this show for YEARS. literal YEARS and watching multiple seasons. LIVE.

[bilestat]

how am i supposed to live laugh love (concentrate on or do anything else) in these conditions (all i wanna do is rewatch 9-1-1 again)

[leqclerc]

I know Charles is disappointed that they didn’t convert this to a win when they had probably the best chance since Singapore to do so, and I know that because this isn’t pole -> 1st a lot of casuals who just look at the standings and results will inevitably use this to dunk on him, but I have to say that was probably my favourite Charles performance in all of 2023.

Just seeing him so comfortable and confident right from the start, from the first practice session, and carrying that into the race was incredible. Watching him overtake the Red Bulls, multiple times, in the most dominant car/season they’ve ever had as a team, was incredible.

Honestly, his entire run from Singapore onwards has been really strong, even if it’s unlikely to be remembered as such because the results belie the effort and performance. It’s so, so satisfying to hear him say “I need to work on this” and then literally see the effects on track weeks later. Improving in mixed conditions? He did that. Trying to get to grips with a car that doesn’t suit him to try and extract the maximum out of it? He did that. Improving his qualifying form after the disappointment of Monza and Singapore? Three poles in four races.

It was 100% worth getting up for Las Vegas, to watch him put in a mighty performance that mentally had me convinced we’re in early 2022. He’s always a joy to watch but it’s a special kind of joy when he’s racing out in front and he finally gets the attention and recognition and praise he deserves. I don’t think anyone has come this close so far this year to really making Red Bulls sweat and work hard to keep him at bay. Charles is good at managing expectations but if even he said the win was theirs for the taking had it not been for the timing of the safety car, then that really shows the magnitude of his performance and how confident he was this weekend. That last lap lunge? Chills.

An unforgettable performance in a season to forget.

[fountainpenguin]

What got you into watching / liking / writing fanfics for FOP?

A large part of it I think is the fact that I didn't grow up watching the show, so it was completely new to me to analyze and I had the chance to binge all 9 seasons that were out at the time (And the first couple episodes of Season 10 that had dropped).

Growing up, I glimpsed a few episodes like "The Switch Glitch," "My Big Super Hero Wish," "Mr. Right," and "The Big Scoop" but I didn't remember much of them. I also saw the last few minutes of "Abra-Catastrophe" when I was young (at a pizza place, muted but with subtitles, which is also where I first saw all of the above).

When I was high school aged, I stumbled across a post somewhere that was someone commenting about how wild it is that FOP straight-up just dropped the lore one day that Timmy froze the timestream for 50 years. Someone's response to that post was "WHAT??" and OP wrote a brief explanation about "Timmy's Secret Wish."

Immediately, my mind was captured. I was sunk. Suddenly, this random episodic kids' show that I'd never had an interest in became something that - as far as I knew from that post I'd seen - had been carefully crafted with incredible lore.

About two months after that (?), I left my room one day to find my sister watching "Abra-Catastrophe," which was playing live on TV. It was at the start and I hadn't seen it before, so I decided to watch an episode... not realizing this thing was movie-length. She didn't stay for long, but I didn't turn it off and watched the whole thing.

After that, I spent a while searching for a way to watch the show. I'd watch in between study sessions and would often stay up late to watch "just a couple more episodes" on my phone in bed, which wasn't something I've done before or since. I was already interested in psychology (got a bachelor's degree in it) and was incredibly charmed by this show about a kid who carried the weight of things like trauma, abuse, and neglect on his shoulders.

I just loved the way this children's show casually portrayed these things, such as by dropping in mentions of Timmy going to therapy when he was 5, and it all weaves into this story about how he's a troubled kid and how his fairy godparents care for him. I hold so much love for "School's Out - The Musical" and a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I was lying in bed crying over it at 3 AM, ha ha.

It took weeks and weeks of watching, but I finally made it to "Timmy's Secret Wish" and I had a blast. I love it... I've heard it's not everyone's favorite for X or Y reason, but to me, "Secret Wish" was THE reason I found a spark in FOP. I binged the entire series knowing full well that "omg, one day Timmy's going to reveal that he freaking FROZE TIME FOR 50 YEARS, WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK, they really DID THAT AND I CAN'T WAIT" and it was extremely cathartic to watch that episode unfold, while I had known all along that someday he'd get called out for what he did.

I still adore that episode so much, I love the stupidity of Foop trying to erase Poof's existence, he wins the court case, and finally Jorgen turns to him and points out that Foop is about to die and he starts freaking out and acting like a scared little kid. I love his stupid face as he tries to bribe the Fairy Council for his life with a one dollar bill.

I love the dark drama of these ancient fae ripping children out of existence. They are children. They did not waste time with good-byes. Foop didn't even have his parents in the room, he just got sucked into a vortex and disintegrated from existence. That's so messed up, I love it. And the Fairy Council took away Cosmo and Wanda's memory of losing their child, but they left freaking Jorgen to deal with that guilt on his own - dealing with the fact that he's partly responsible for getting his best friends' kid wiped from existence - and that's also super messed up.

It's literally always hilarious that FOP lore allows time travel in multiple episodes, to the point that Jorgen even straight-up tells Timmy that he's "free to muck around in the past as long as he doesn't touch March 15th, 1972 again" and I absolutely love the fact that Timmy made this secret wish and carried this massive secret, unable to tell anyone, unable to speak up as the world around him was stuck in a loop, and MAN....... man, man, man I love it so much. It's so good, this already traumatized and panicky kid had to deal with this on his own for 50 years and it's so messed up.

I love FOP because it appeals to the inner child me who never saw this goofy slapstick show growing up, it appeals to the author in me who loves the characters and worldbuilding, and it appeals to the psychology lover in me who really enjoys how Timmy's home life is portrayed and how he changes through the years.

There's just so much that can be said about Timmy and his fairies, like how Cosmo and Wanda are supposed to be treating Timmy as just another job but they keep getting pulled in deeper and deeper to the point that their attachment to him starts interfering with their work, but they don't want to stop loving him... and so much can be said about Timmy and the fact that he made the deliberate choice to stall everyone's aging for 50 years because he didn't want to let go.

Just... idk, the sense of peace and confidence that it must have brought him to know he could wake up day after day and never age, and the MASSIVE guilt-trip that must have dropped on his head when he got dragged to Fairy Court, forced to confess, and he watched everything started falling apart... watched his godbrother get ripped from reality... Like, that must have really messed him up and I am absolutely HERE for it. Last man on earth, more like only person on the planet who's conscious about how much time is passing and he watches everyone around him celebrate the same new year, the same birthday, over and over and over for 50. flipping. years and he tells nobody. Geez.

Where else can I go to see this kind of content? Where else can I go to see "the characters never age and are trapped in a time loop" become actual canon, and furthermore where can I go to see this piece of canon get treated as the absolutely twisted, un-okay decision it was? Nowhere else. I love this show. I love "Secret Wish."

I also love the frozen timestream because it's just messed up on so many levels in such delightful ways. For example, Chloe's parents are absent so often that it's implied she raised herself watching Fair Bears cartoons. She's so oblivious to the outside world that she didn't even know who Catman was, and he's one of the in-universe equivalents for Batman.

When you take this in the context of the frozen timestream, you're forced to face the fact that oh, yeah... This girl totally just spent 50 years raising herself on kids' cartoons, no biggie. It makes her distant relationship with her parents so much darker if they couldn't make time for her for 50 years instead of just 2 or 3.

Also while yeah, I don't totally love Timmy's parents sliding off the deep end in their flanderized, over the top way, I do really like toying with the idea that they got burned out on raising a kid because they were raising him for over 60 years straight without a break when obviously he should have moved out a long time ago if time had kept progressing. Their later personalities are not my favorite, but I can acknowledge the exhaustion they must have felt after running themselves ragged with childcare for an extra 50 years without their consent. They didn't ask for that. It was more than they could handle.

Foop's in the exact same boat with the repeating timestream. He was sentenced to solitary confinement in a maximum security prison from the day he was born. The day he got out of there, he accidentally fell into a "portal of oblivion" and isn't seen again until the first day he goes to school. Like. bruh. Geez. No matter which way you slice it, you've got 50 years you have to sort out for his backstory, so he either spent a huge portion of his childhood in solitary confinement, a huge portion in the void, or both. It's very messed up and I love that for him.

There's so much lore that I love, and so many good episodes I treasure. The Juandissimo arc is definitely something to behold, because this guy went from "I live and breathe Da Rules" to this massive depressive spiral after losing Remy where he literally was unable to hold a job because he just kept sobbing over his ex-godson, and then when Remy gets stranded on a deserted island and kicked aside by his parents, Juandissimo finally snaps and says "Screw the freaking rules, I love my godson and he's mine now, I'm giving his memories back and his parents can't have him." I'm so obsessed. Juandissimo for godfather of the year, doing the right thing for a miserable child no matter what Da Rules say.

I love the implications this has in future episodes too, because Juandissimo and Remy reunited in Season 5, and we have confirmation that they're still together in Season 7 (after Crocker kidnaps Juandissimo from Remy's mansion)... I'm glad that was a long-lasting bond for them.

But also the episode "Jerk of All Trades" gets me reeling because Jorgen made it explicitly clear in "Cosmo Rules" that only a member of the von Strangle bloodline was worthy to be Keeper of Da Rules, which is why he needed Cosmo to fill in while he was sick because Cosmo is a member of that bloodline. Yeah, the Fairy Council HATES Cosmo and when Jorgen got fired in Season 9, they really turned around and said "Juandissimo, you're in charge" which is MIND-BOGGLING because they straight-up went "Yeah, the guy who broke Da Rules is more worthy of being Keeper than Cosmo is" and the sheer POLITICS that would be involved in that backhanded move are insane, sdlfkj.

Love me some good fae politics, they know what they did. And then when they end up firing Juandissimo, they take his HOUSE so he goes crawling back to his ex, only for Cosmo to throw him in the freezer, it's so hilarious, it's so insane, Juandissimo takes the biggest freaking Fs...

Also just while we're talking about how much I love Juandissimo, shout out to him backing the heck away from Wanda when she was under influence of a Cupid arrow and fell in love with him, she tried to kiss him and this man really went "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope" and took off running down the street, love that for him slkdjfs. He might still be in love with his ex but he definitely wanted her old personality back, good on you bro.

I freaking love this show, it's fun and layered and silly and shallow and deep and dumb and incredible and I love flopping into it like a snowdrift and just letting it sink under my skin.

I just love thinking about this show, its psychology, and the effect the frozen timestream had on its characters. I love the joy I get out of digging up weird pieces of extra content like the OG episode scripts on Scribd, or the old games or comics - I can't get enough of H.P. and Sanderson almost running over Vicky with a squad car and then arguing with her about how they really are police officers, skldfjs - I love thinking about Da Rules, making even the obscure ones as canon as possible, and fleshing out the worldbuilding.

I like thinking about life for Fairies who just, y'know, go about their daily business and they have flipping Anti-Fairy counterparts who just. exist. Imagine if that was your life, you had this identical twin who opposes you in every way, and they're locked up behind a magical barrier so you might go your entire life without even meeting yours. Wild.

FOP is a unique flavor for me to write, especially with the canon time manipulation. That level of "10-year-old desperate to not be ripped apart from his foster family so he bends reality and keeps it quiet for 50 years" is a vibe I wouldn't be able to capture in original projects, and I just really enjoy writing 'fics for the series because I can't have this anywhere else <3 It's a goofy fairy show but it's MY goofy fairy show and I adore it for what it is. I love the characters, I love the world, and I freaking love "Timmy's Secret Wish."

[gilliebee]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

I got tagged by the wonderful @five4boarding and tumblr never gives me a little +1 notification icon when I get tagged in anything (like any other type of note would, so I don’t get it!!), so I live in fear that I’m always gonna miss these BUT I caught this one at least 👉😎👉

Last song: during my morning walk I randomly remembered the catchiest depression bop and then remembered the first time I looked up the guy's wiki and saw that he played hockey and I was like you're telling me a knife-footed ice-gremlin sang this???? (swiss juniors but still high level for his age bracket I think?) Anyway... Tomorrow May Not Be Better (specifically this version https://open.spotify.com/track/0V1quXmlVC6eH5kcfYPWEW ) by Bastian Baker still slaps to this very day 😌👌

Currently watching: My longstanding guilty pleasure is docs/commentary videos about any and all scams, particularly mlms/pyramid schemes. So it should come as no surprise that my brand new guilty pleasure is debt confessions/financial audits on youtube 🙈 I've been been watching a few by caleb hammer whose gimmick is that he gordon ramsey style shames people who come in with their financial records and he's like hey. why do you have $120,000 in consumer debt? why did you finance an ipad for your literal infant child?? why have you spent 30 dollars multiple times a day every day at dunkin for the last 3 months??? (the last one is an exaggeration but the first two I have seen LOL). His thumbnails are wretched I hate them so, so much, and his advice of living spartan-like for a few years to dig yourself out of the hole is ehhh maybe good in theory but generally not exactly...practical. And I think going cold turkey when you're used to constant impulse buying is basically a recipe for just eventually losing control and going on a bender. But. I'm nosy and love hearing about how people be spending their money so that's the best part of the videos for me lol

Currently reading: haven't picked up something new yet BUT I juuuust finished An Unauthorised Fan Treatise which was SO GOOD I literally slammed it nonstop for two days until I finished it. It's formatted like a rpf conspiracy theory livejournal where a fangirl of a supernatural-drama show compiles evidence that the two lead actors are secretly dating. BUT it's noted that the livejournal has been submitted as evidence into for a murder trial so y'know TWISTS AND TURNS lol. There's just something about the format that really compels me, idk I already love reading primers and conspiracies for hrpf couples that I literally have zero investment in and never will- I just enjoy the way the girlies spin a good narrative. (and also watching video essays about the uhhh less casual to super trainwreck ones like the whole larry fiasco even though I never got into 1D, as well as general fandom fiascos like msscribe and snapewives etc etc IT'S ALL SO FASCINATING TO ME 🍿👀) So it was a really natural fit for me to read in a fictional setting. And it's free to read! https://gottiewrites.com/2019/10/14/31/

Current obsession: I’m a hobbyist game maker so at all times I am rotating little bits of character development, experimental mechanics, aesthetics, ui design etc etc in my brain but it becomes much more mentally consuming during the off-season bc god knows when bruins hockey is live it is Featured Live 24/7 In My Brain. But for now... my OCs on my mind 😌💭

tagging (if you want to): OH NO I’M SO BASHFUL I NEVER KNOW WHO TO TAG IN THESE 🫣🫣🫣 uh uh uhh maybe @ghostgeno @alavenderleaf @tylerbertuzzi @reavenedges-lies @krugstrash if y’all are so inclined?? but also no pressure no pressure again I’m just NOSY hehe

[lyrabythelake]

Pumpkin Timeee

I love Halloween, here’s a little fic

Seasons may change, but Time’s commute back from the castle stays more or less the same. Yes, there may be life-size plastic skeletons in the windows of most houses right now, but if you can ignore that, along with the badly carved pumpkins and the entire graveyard that was erected overnight in one garden, it is really no different to any other day.

For Time, Halloween is an occasion that brings very real fear to his heart. There isn’t much distinction between each year; he can pretty much count on Legend terrorising them all with his latest attempt at special effects makeup (last time he had genuinely convinced Warriors he had chopped his index finger off cutting a cucumber), Wind will watch a horror movie and spend the next week with night terrors, and Hyrule will eat so many super sour sweets he throws up.

All in all, not his favourite holiday.

Not that he wants to tempt fate, but today has been remarkably uneventful. Only three people dressed up at work and no one has tried any pranks or jump-scares (he may be known as the Hero of Time in some circles, but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to those surprise jump-scare videos on YouTube), so he’s in a pretty good mood.

That is, until he walks into his house.

“What is this?”

Which, he commends himself, is an admirably calm reaction considering whatever it is has left his kitchen looking like the scene of a large, gruesome pumpkin massacre. And actually, that might be an apt description of what millions of children do every year on the 31st of October when they carve hideous faces into gourds while their parents try their best to keep them from cutting their fingers off. 

Millions of children and, of course, his idiot friends.

“We’re carving pumpkins,” Wind says distractedly, his tongue held between his teeth as he focuses intently on stabbing his knife multiple times into his pumpkin.

“I can see that. But did you have to do it in my kitchen?”

“Yours is the only one big enough for all of us.”

A fact that has made him repeatedly curse his and Malon’s past selves ever since they first viewed this house and exclaimed how perfect the large, open plan kitchen/living room would be for having all their friends round for dinner sometimes. They seriously overlooked several important factors like how now all eight of the boys seem to be in their house ninety percent of the time whether he and Malon are home or not.

“You don’t think you might have overdone it?” He’s referring to the literally countless number of pumpkins on every surface–he tallied thirteen before he lost count–and the sloppy mountain of Pumpkin innards piled so high onto the table that it very nearly reaches the ceiling.

“Oh, that?” Wild gestures casually at Mount Pumpkin Guts. “I’ll make it into a pumpkin pie or something.”

“Far be it from me to ever doubt your cooking skills, Wild,” Time replies, “but do you plan on making a pumpkin pie the size of Hyrule Town?”

Wild shrugs.

“So I’ll make some pumpkin cupcakes as well.”

“Where did you even get all these? I don’t think I’ve seen this many pumpkins in one place since I last went to a pumpkin farm.” Which, for the record, was many years ago because he hates the taste.

“Hey, look, I made you!” Wind looks incredibly pleased with himself as he turns his pumpkin around to show a very roughly carved face with a line through one eye and markings that may or may not be supposed to represent his own. 

Time’s eye twitches.

“Hyrule grew them in his garden,” Legend tells him. Hyrule looks at Time with a haunted look that tells of a very serious miscalculation.

“They got a bit out of hand.”

Oh, and would you have it, his hand is stuck into a bag of Super Sours. What a surprise.

“Don’t get your pants in a twist, we’ll clean everything up at the end,” Warriors says, clearly noticing the looming aneurysm in Time’s future. His pumpkin has a knife stuck in its head and is carved to look like it’s screaming in pain. Time can relate.

“There better not be a speck of pumpkin on these worktops by the time Malon comes home.”

[cocogukkie]

2020 in review: kdramas (the heart fluttering, the disappointing, the saviors of 2020)

it’s december 31st! the new year is quite literally upon us (some of y’all are already in 2021) and my procrastinating self has chosen to upload this today. i’ve always loved these rec lists and I wanted to do one for 2020! this year was a rollercoaster for kdramas with some excellent ones and some not so excellent ones. i watched all of these in 2020 but not all of them were released in 2020.

if you want to use my questions to make your own list please do!! or give your favs in the tags, i’d love to read them. (fair warning, some of these have multiple answers bc i just can’t choose one!!)

drama that made me laugh

When The Camellia Blooms (2019)

i finally got around to watching when the camellia blooms this year and it. was. so. funny. oh my goodness, the comedic timing in so many scenes was pure excellency and im kinda mad at myself that i didn’t watch this last year. this isn’t just a comedy for those who are interested, its a thriller/romance but its also so fucking funny. definitely watch this if you want to laugh (and be touched bc the emotional scenes in this one are beautiful)

drama that made me cry

Sweet Home (2020)

hahah….. um this one is gonna go to sweet home friends. i went into this one with zero expectations and the first couple episodes didn’t really wow me? but i kept watching and holy shit fam. this show really picks up story-wise around ep 4 and makes the viewer love a lot of these initially unlikable characters. all i can say is that the end was devastating for me and i cried quite a bit. (warning, there are a lot of mature themes in this one so make sure you look for trigger warnings or send me an ask and i’ll list them all out for you) 

best OST

Itaewon Class (2020) 

i loved the ost for itaewon class!! the music is just so inspirational and pump up music, its so good. my favorites are ‘you make me back’ by woosung and ‘start’ by gaho.

drama with chemistry royalty (aka the best couple) 

i have three for this one because i just cannot choose one. 

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

we recognize this one as one of the best things to come out of 2020. go moon young and moon kang tae have some of the best chemistry i have ever seen in a drama couple. i waited on the edge of my seat every single week for the next couple of episode just so i could fawn over these two. they work so well together, lift each other up, and so fucking funny together and support one another. while they’re not the chillest couple (lmao) they’re most certainly one with the most personality. they’re so cute and bicker and they just get each other. who could ask for more.

Flower of Evil (2020)

our badass mom and dad 😭😭. this was another peak drama that came out this year and our married partners-in-crime-but-not-really had amazing chemistry. baek hee sung and cha ji won were so cute as a married couple but they were even more precious later on in the drama after certain things unfolded (no spoilers). they both just get each other and protected one another as well as on the most precious kdrama children this year, their daughter eunha. they were so wholesome, flower of evil is so very worth a watch.

Into The Ring (2020)

this was one of the more underappreciated kdramas of the year but hoo buddy was the main couples chemistry top notch. they were so friggin cute and i just couldn’t. goo se ra is highkey one of the best female characters i’ve ever seen, she’s absolute chaos, lawful chaos, but chaos nonetheless. her other half, seo gong myung is opposite from her as lawful neutral. he’s just along for the ride that is se ra and loves her. they’re both so very fond and protective of each other and back each other up!! very very cute and you’ll definitely replay more than a couple of their scenes together.

most disappointing

Record of Youth (2020)

it’s sad but true… i went into this one with so much hope and excitement (i was riding off that ‘psycho but its okay’ high) and i was vastly disappointed. the plot mostly focused on the male lead, and there wasn’t much characterization for the female lead which i didn’t like. honestly, i only cared about maybe 3-4? characters in the whole drama. the rest were absolutely terrible or plain boring and i ended up skipping eps 14 and 15 and just watched the finale. i would not recommend tbh.

drama you can’t really get through

Crash Landing on You (2019)

this one is absolutely on me, i want so badly to love this one. but i just… can’t seem to get past ep 2? i’ve tried!! i swear, but i just cannot get through it. maybe in 2021, i can try again and i’ll enjoy it more.

drama everyone else liked but was meh

Kairos (2020)

i though kairos was a bit predictable tbh. i know those of us who did end up watching it really liked it but maybe its because i watch so many crime/mystery shows that this one didn’t really do it for me. the writing is quite solid and everything connects well, i would recommend that those who don’t really watch thrillers, to watch this one. (also the friendship between the female lead and her two friends is suuuper cute and worth it alone to watch kairos)

favorite romance

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

yeah… this one wins again lol. what can i say, i just loved it so much and the main theme of the show is romance (its also a comedy and a mental health/healing drama) all i can say is watch this if you haven’t yet, its definitely worth it!! 

favorite mystery

Memorist (2020)  & Watcher (2019)

i really enjoyed these two mystery dramas. both were super fun to watch and very kinda unique in their own ways. i liked memorist because it was lowkey funny and i liked the relationships between the characters, but most importantly i couldn’t guess the main antagonist by the end! i really thought i knew who it was and then i was completely wrong lmao. watcher was also very good, the main trio had really good chemistry and i really cared about all the characters. (also i’ll never say no to watching seo kang joon) plus the plot twists threw me a bit at the end which is always a feeling i welcome, i love being surprised and wrong (as long as it makes sense)

favorite slice of life

Hospital Playlist (2020)

oh my goodness, i was late to the hospital playlist party and i regret it because this show is so. so. good. its just a slice of life following 5 friends who are doctors and work at the same hospital together but its so much more than that. this is honestly one of the first shows i’ve seen that are optimistic? in the show, every time i thought a plot was going to play out a certain way (usually negatively, as tends to be life unfortunately) it surprised me by taking the more optimistic wholesome route. characters in subplots changed for the better, became more understanding, chose to do the right thing, etc. if you want a feel good drama where the main characters have wonderful platonic chemistry and just care about each other but is also super funny, watch hospital playlist!! (season 2 is coming out early 2021 and im so pumped)

favorite fantasy

The Untamed (2019)

this one is a cdrama but i watched it in 2020, mostly because of how many people on the internet were adamant that the rest of us watch this and ngl they were v right. the untamed was very very good and im really glad i gave it a chance and watched it, its also my first cdrama ever. the chemistry between the male leads is honestly what makes this show and its worth the 50? i think? episodes. to be completely honest the fanfiction for the show are peak and if you do watch this, go straight to ao3 and you will not be disappointed.

dramas that saved 2020

The Uncanny Counter (2020) & Run On (2020)

these two dramas are among those that started airing at the end of the year and will go into the beginning of 2021 and absolutely saved the end of 2020 for me. while neither of these are finished, both have been excellent so far and worth starting. uncanny counter has the best use of the found family trope i have ever seen. i fucking love the four counters and their relationship with each other, how protective they are of one another. they all have amazing chemistry and the actors have amazing chemistry in the making films.

run on has one of the cutest couples that will definitely make my best chemistry list for next year. i didn’t put them on this list bc they actually haven’t gotten together yet but once they do, they’re gonna be freaking adorable, i can already tell. there’s no specific grand events propelling the plot forward, but just following the lives of these unique, interesting and relatable people who have casual yet entertaining conversations with each other. the show is super soft and the main couple are so straightforward and honest (plus theres mutual pining!!)

best dramas of the year

here are my best dramas (and one movie) watched this year, no further explanation given lolol. just watch them and enjoy because these are fucking excellent in the feels department. trust me 💞

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

Flower of Evil (2020)

Itaewon Class (2020)

Hospital Playlist (2020)

One Spring Night (2019)

Midnight Runners (2017)

Hot Stove League (2019) 

I hope this gives you some fun stuff to watch!! or convince you to start that drama in your watchlists! 

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Reckless

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), biting, scratching, breeding, very minor mention of blood, degrading, dirty talk Words:   7812 Pairing: Dragon Fantasy AU Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader 

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Taking huge risks was never really your thing. All your life living in the castle, you always followed the rules of your role, never stepping out of bounds and never taking chances. You had always thought about it, asking for a different position or perhaps more pay, maybe even just a change in shift. But, in the end, you always decided that, not only was it not worth the possible outrage your superiors could slam upon you, but you could lose what made your position so absolutely wonderful. A change in your work life could rip you away from the presence of your Lord, who you had grown very attached to in an obviously one-sided romantic connection. 

Working with him multiple times during the weeks he was present at the castle was like a dream you never wanted to let end. As a scholar and war strategist, you were his first line of contact when it came to important political or wartime plans, and you cherished the contact and respect he had for you. Your Lord wasn’t one to trust people easily, but with you, it was like he could share even his deepest worries and secrets without worry that you would betray him. Never in your life would you even consider doing such a thing, because in truth, you loved him. 

There were many reasons why you shouldn’t be so enamored with him, but in the end, all they did was make your desires stronger. To the world, to his people and enemies, he was a ruthless brute. Conquering lands and expanding his territory was his constant goal, and even at his young age, he had been incredibly successful. His people respected him, his warriors would die for him, and his enemies cowered at his feet. It was so incredibly attractive to you, to watch him in action and know that you were helping him on this journey, that you were the one to help push him forward. No matter what other opportunities you knew you had, if you were to just simply ask, there wasn’t a chance in hell that you would take it. You didn’t take those risks because you wanted to be here, at his side as much as you were allowed. 

Bakugou Katsuki was your Lord, but he was also the man that made your knees tremble with just a simple glance. He made you soft and filled with such a longing that made your chest ache terribly, and you craved to feel his hand against your skin. Anything would do. A simple touch on your arm. A brushing of his fingers against yours. A secure grip on your hips. A rough tug of your hair in his fist. 

No, no! You couldn’t let your thoughts go that way. It was highly inappropriate for you to think that way of your Lord, even if he was the most attractive man you had ever laid eyes on. Your thoughts on him could click from cute to extreme lust in the time it would take you to blink, and they did so frequently, no matter how you tried to stop it. That adorable fluffy blonde hair matched with that piercing crimson gaze always had your heart racing, and the thick, muscular figure didn’t exactly quell your urges. 

You tried everything you could think of up to this point to get over him. You saw other men who were just as equally built or with similar personalities, but none of them could match up to the way he made you feel without having ever even laid a finger on you. You could imagine in the moment that it was him touching you. Fucking you. They could quench your thirst when it was unbearable, but it was just never enough. You wanted to know what it was like to be closer to him. But how could you? 

You had tried, with subtle hints or during moments of casual conversation that came up during your meetings. An innocent batting of your eyelashes or brushing of your hand along his arm that was, of course, completely accidental. A flirtatious smile. A sultry giggle. A peek down the front of your corset as you bent over the maps to talk strategies. In the end, it was impossible. Sure, you had caught him peeking at your skin or your curves when he thought you weren’t looking, but that wasn’t enough to convince you he was even remotely interested. 

Although your body was on fire for him, it wasn’t all that you wanted. There were cute things about him that you had seen during the times you were alone with him. The way he covered his mouth when you said something that could make him laugh, or the excited grin that would break his face when you gave him good news. You had caught him napping on occasion, and his expression was so soft and calm. You knew there was more behind the short fuse and anger he carried, and it was something that you hoped to see one day. The softness that he had within him was fiercely protected, not only to keep up this image that he was a brutal man, but also because he just wasn’t ready to share those parts of him. 

Especially not with someone whom he wasn’t romantic with, like yourself. He was calm and collected around you, sure, but that could purely be from the nature of your professional relationship. But what if it was more? What if he was really and truly comfortable around you? You could only hope so. 

Hope wasn’t really working for you, however, and the longer you waited to do anything, the bigger your fears grew that he may pick a different woman. Bakugou was a Lord, someone who would need to have heirs to pass his lineage down to, and that meant that he would eventually need to have a wife and children. He had talked about it a few times with his advisors and counsel as far as needing there to be someone in case he was killed in battle or some other tragic event. Each time, he blew it off, but never gave any hints as to why he wasn’t actively searching. 

Although he didn’t want a wife, that didn’t mean that he didn’t have women at his disposal. Being a very frustrated man, much of his stress relief was in the form of sex, and he had plenty of handpicked concubines to serve him. There was a special magic done on each one of them so they could not get pregnant by him, and that procedure was highly regulated by Bakugou and his advisors to make sure there would be no illegitimate children. In truth, you weren’t sure of the exact number of women he had at his beck and call, though you knew it was at least in the double digits by now. 

There was a very good reason for that, and it wasn’t just because he grew bored with the women. Bakugou was dragon kin. That meant that he had powers, abilities, and features of a dragon while he was able to keep a mostly human form. Those included enhanced senses such as eyesight and smell. Sharp canines and nails that he tried desperately to keep trimmed. More strength and stamina. But, your favorite was something that you’re pretty sure he wasn’t even aware that you knew. 

He purred. This strong, gruff, and rough man would occasionally purr. A deep, low rumble in his chest during moments of true relaxation or happiness. You had heard it a few times, when you caught him sleeping before a meeting, resting his head on his arms against the table. It was truly the most adorable thing you had ever heard, and you wondered if he was dreaming about something - or someone - special. 

There was something less adorable that came along with his bloodline, and that particular thing was what affected the number of women he had in his life. Ironically enough, it was the urge to mate. He hated talking about it, so you didn’t know much, but he was frustrated how he felt like nothing but an uncontrollable animal during those few months. It was so difficult for him, in fact, that he locked himself away in his chambers until it was over, if he was able. If he had war or political things to attend to, then it was a decent distraction. But, when he didn’t have that, then all he could do was hide away with his women. 

That’s why there were so many. His needs and urges were nearly insatiable during this time, and even if they could go for a while, the women would eventually need a break. It was an almost constant rotation, though you were never sure of exactly what went on behind those doors. You were free to imagine it in the comfort of your room, hand between your legs as you pictured him absolutely ravaging you from behind. 

Although the thoughts of what he was doing in that room made your body incredibly hot, it also worried you. What if he had a favorite woman that was stealing his heart before you could even have the chance? They were all his body type, since he had picked them in the first place, and they were obviously fluent in how to pleasure him. What if they had a personality he liked, too? If that were so, how could you ever find a way to stand out or get his attention? 

Well, you knew how. 

You had to take a risk. 

A huge one. 

And that just wasn’t your thing. 

That didn’t matter. If you wanted your chance with him, then you knew that you had to put yourself out there in a more… obvious way. You had to show him that you wanted him. Subtle hints just weren’t going to work anymore, if they had worked at all up to this point. It was time to literally jump into the lion's den - or, in this case, dragon’s den - and offer yourself to the beast. And, in reality, that wasn’t an exaggeration. He was in peak rut season right now, and from what you heard, he was absolutely feral. In fact, it was so intense this year that the male servants he had bringing him food had to literally run away before he ripped them to shreds in a territorial rage. There were even rumors that he was showing signs of dragon features that were rare for him, including scales along his skin. Those were just rumors, as far as you could tell, because some said he didn’t and some said he did. 

It was of little consequence. You would see for yourself. 

Although Bakugou was impossible to please during this time, he still kept up a schedule of sorts, and after some spy work, you learned that he actually had been sleeping most of the night and his concubines didn’t start showing up to his room until sunrise. That meant all you had to do was show up before that time. Right? An hour or two before anyone shows up would be plenty of time to see if he’d either take you or reject you. 

So, dressed in nothing but a shift and a coat, you silently made your way through the castle to his chambers, avoiding others who may try to question you. Since it was so early in the morning, before sunrise, there weren't many people out, so the journey was less stressful than you had prepared yourself for. Though, you wished you had done more prepping to have enough bravery once you reached the entrance to his room. You had decided to not go through the main door, and since you knew the route that cleaning servants took and the location of the hidden door, this was a perfect plan to avoid being caught. 

Even still, it took an incredible amount of courage to finally place your hands against the cold stone, nibbling at your bottom lip nervously. You had thought of everything that could go wrong already, and of course, it was rushing back to you like a violent storm. You could be fired. You could be killed. You could be banished. You could be simply rejected and forced to continue your normal life with an incredible sense of shame and regret. You could fall only further in love with him. He could admit his feelings for you. He could use you for his own uncontrollable sexual pleasure. 

He could accept you. 

That’s what kept you from running. There was still hope that he would take you as his woman, which you wanted more than anything. 

You just prayed that you weren’t going to end up biting off more than you could chew. 

After a final trembling breath, you carefully pushed the door open, just wide enough so you could fit through before shutting it behind you. Since it was made to be quiet, there was barely a sound in the dim light of the fireplace, which was blazing across the room. Soft, warm heat rolled across the large room, bringing relief to your cold bare feet and legs. In the flickering shadows, Bakugou’s large bed loomed over the room like a large hungry beast, the posts tall and reaching for the ceiling. The footboard that you could see was very ornate, with dragon bones, horns, and scales, which matched the color of the canopy drapes that hid the man inside. 

Or, it would have. Much to your surprise, you could see rips and tears in the fabric as you stepped closer, which you assumed came from one of his many lustful sessions. There were pillows and blankets also scattered across the floor, abandoned in favor of sleep, and the remnants of his last meal were sitting on a table near the head of the bed. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

The dark growl of a voice startled you so badly that you jumped, stumbling back against the wall, eyes darting this way and that to find the source. In the darkest corner of the room, you could see Bakugou’s shadow-cloaked figure, his reflective pupils visible as he glared at you. Feeling heat rush to your cheeks as you tried to calm your racing heart, you placed your hands on your chest, keeping pressed up against the wall. Before finding the strength to answer, you looked over what you could see of his figure, only able to tell that he was perched up on a chair with his legs pulled up into the seat. It was a stiff and uncomfortable position, as if he were forcing himself to stay in place. 

“I… I, uhm… Why are you awake so early?” 

“Are you fucking serious? You’re walking into my room in the middle of the damn night, and you’re asking me why I’m awake?” 

“I… I had just heard that you were having more trouble than usual. I hadn’t heard from you about any of the strategies I sent in and… I got worried.” You could hear the bullshit in your own voice, and you wanted to just bite your own tongue off. Already, you were chickening out of your plan, but his aggressive presence was more radiant than you expected. It was throwing off the small amount of confidence that you had gathered, which you knew you needed to get back as quickly as possible. 

A low rumble escaped him as he lowered his legs to the ground, the growl sending a harsh shiver down your spine. It was so aggressive and intimidating that you nearly felt the need to cower down to the ground, but you kept yourself up on weak legs. It was odd, how he was both frightening you and filling you with a raging lustful fire at the same time. 

Clutching at the front of your coat, you stepped away from the wall, but was once again startled to a halt by his voice. 

“Bullshit. I know you. You’d just send a letter instead. That’s what you’ve always done when I’m like this. On top of that, you’re sneaking around the servant’s halls like a rat.” His teeth were visible as he snarled, clutching on tightly to the arms of the chair. “You think you’re being slick, huh?” 

“I don’t know what you mean…” 

“Yes, you do. You wanted me alone. Sneaky, figuring out my schedule and getting in here without anyone noticing. I’m both impressed and pissed off.” 

“I… You’re right. I did want to come see you when no one would bother us.” Giving your bottom lip a nervous nibble, you began to unbutton the front of your coat, able to see him only further tense in his chair. “I wanted to… ask you something.” 

Bakugou couldn’t take this. How in the hell could this really be happening? This had to be some type of dream, a hallucination brought on by his unquenchable need to breed. How could you actually be here, in his room, at the peak of his rut. It was so dangerous, and you needed to leave. Now, before he lost what little control he had. He wanted to tell you, to snap at you to fuck off, but the words just wouldn’t leave his lips. 

He was too enamored already. Your scent filled his senses like the aroma of a delicious fruit, one which he craved to sink his teeth into and let the juices drip down his chin. Just the sight of you made him dizzy, so disheveled and vulnerable. 

Unexpecting and unaware. 

Beautiful and stupid. 

So fucking stupid. 

As your coat was shrugged off your shoulders, more of your scent wafted over him, forcing him to further dig his claws into the fabric of the chair to keep himself in place. With the light from the fire, your figure was visible to him as a silhouette beneath your white shift, giving him just a taste of that beautiful body he craved. If only you knew how badly he wanted you. How badly he had always wanted you. But it just hadn’t ever been the right time. He had never made the move. 

Now, here you were, tired of waiting and willing to put yourself in such a compromising situation. Your years of flirting, teasing, and genuine care for him was always something he paid great attention to, and the feelings weren’t unwelcomed, like you must have assumed. Of course, he knew it was his fault for refusing to take that step you both craved. 

Still… 

This wasn’t the right time. 

“Tell me what you want,” Bakugou growled, his heartbeat so loud in his ears he could hardly even hear himself. It pulsed through his entire body to his crotch, his cock already hard and straining painfully against the fabric of his sleeping pants. “You’re fucking stupid for coming here. Don’t you know what I could do to you?” Tell her to leave! “Don’t you know what’s wrong with me?” I need to throw her out! Fuck, I want her. I want her! Damn it!

Letting your coat fall to the floor, you took a few steps closer, swallowing the hard lump that had grown in your throat. “I just can’t wait to find out anymore, my Lord.” Growing shy, you timidly fiddled with the fabric of your shift, your body growing hotter with his reaction to the formality. Bakugou’s breathing grew incredibly heavy, his head hanging as he tried to not look at you. 

“Don’t fucking… call me that… Don’t say that!” He spoke with a trembling, angry growl. “Just fucking tell me what you want!” 

“Y-you! I want you! You oblivious jerk!” 

“Oblivious?!” Bakugou barked, standing up so roughly that the chair toppled backwards behind him. The volume of his voice and the movement startled you enough to make you take a few steps back, bringing your hands up to your chest defensively. “I’m oblivious?! You moron! Look who’s just waltzed into my room knowing damn well I’m dangerous right now.” 

“I don’t care,” you stood your ground as Bakugou began to come towards you, his hands balled into fists at his side. “I’m not scared of you. I know that you wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want.” 

“You’re smart enough to know that I’m not completely myself right now. I don’t know what I could do.” His tall and broad stature was incredibly intimidating as he got closer, breaking your tough front and making you stumble over your feet stepping backwards. It wasn’t only his form that caught you off guard, but the intensity of his glare and the patches of crimson scales that broke his skin along his cheeks, chest, and shoulders. 

It was true, what the servants had said about him. This was the worst he had been, probably ever, and you were truly curious as to why. Was his body really beginning to grow desperate to have an heir? Was the need to impregnate and breed worse because of his natural instincts, or was it because he knew who he wanted as his mate and he just hadn’t been able to have her?

Your back was once again pressed against the cold stone of the wall as Bakugou pursued you towards it, and in the next instant, you were trapped by his arms on either side of you, palms pressed against the rough surface. He was so close to you that if you relaxed your body, your chests would touch, and it was hard enough to keep the distance as your breathing grew heavy. “I… I know. But I don’t care. I came here now b-because… because you couldn’t ignore me or brush me off so easily.” 

“That’s fucking bold of you. Reckless.” 

“Why is it so reckless?” You relaxed a little, the warmth radiating from his body calming your momentary fears. “Other women can be with you… Why can’t I?” 

“Are you serious? You’re comparing yourself to one of my whores? To a bitch I can snap my fingers at and have her at my feet? You think that lowly of yourself?” 

Confused, you gave a small shake of your head, feeling an odd fluttering in your stomach. “That’s… I don’t mean that. I mean… it’s safe for other women, why couldn’t it be safe for me?” 

“It’s not safe for them. Why do you think I have to rotate? I could hurt them. I have, however unintentionally. You’re not like them. Don’t compare yourself to them like this… It pisses me off.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I respect you.” 

A fierce heat rushed to your cheeks, spreading across your skin to burn your ears and even your eyes. You had wanted this type of response from him, but it was still such a shock to hear it. Not exactly the love confession you were wanting, but it was something, and he hadn’t forced you out of the door just yet. 

But there was something else, paired with his response that made your heart race. That glare, so dark and frustrated, had softened into what you could only describe as… gentle. There wasn’t a single crease or frown line on his gorgeous face, bringing such a sweetness to him. Even his pupils had relaxed, the thin reptile like slits now wide and blown out. There was more than just respect in that gaze. 

“My Lord,” your voice hitched as he tensed at the formality, shifting half an inch closer to you as his pupils constricted. “There’s… more than just respect. Isn’t there?” Your final question wasn’t confrontational. Instead, it was worried, seeking the affirmation you had dreamt of. 

“Of course there is. But I can’t do this now.” 

Heart sinking, you slowly and carefully brought your hands up to caress his cheeks, but they didn’t stay in place long. The instant you touched his skin, Bakugou grabbed both of your wrists, forcing your arms up over your head against the wall. It was so quick that you barely had time to register what was happening before he began to speak again, a deep growl that you could even feel reverberating in your chest. 

“I said I can’t do this now! Don’t just fucking touch me! You don’t understand!” Although he was saying these things, his body was betraying him, pressing in closer to you, one leg slipping between yours to further keep you in place. “I’m not me right now! I’m a fucking animal.” 

“T-That’s not true!” The position of your arms was making it difficult to find the breath to speak, unable to resist wiggling in his grip uncomfortably. Your thighs clenched around his and your chest ached up against him, your lips permanently parted against your panting and struggles. “This is you! It’s a part of you, My Lord--” 

“--Don’t call me that!” 

“-- You have to accept it. I accept it. I want to be here for you.” 

You had to stop. Bakugou had to make you stop. Somehow. He wasn’t going to be able to control himself much longer. That beautiful flushed and pleading expression. Your plush breasts pressing against him with every breath and wiggle. The scent of your arousal fogged his mind with every breath and he could hear your heartbeat, so rapid and desperate. He knew that he needed to make you stop this, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to stop. 

No, at this point, he didn’t think he could stop. How much he adored you was swirling with the fierce need to fill you with his seed, to fuck you for hours on end until you were absolutely filled to the brim. He wanted to mark you, sink his fangs into your soft flesh, taste your sweet essence, and hear you scream his name. 

More than anything, he wanted to have you as his mate. His lover. His queen. All these years of having you by his side had always felt so natural, like you were always meant to be there. Now, he had you, so willing and accepting of him even in his darkest moments. Was this really okay? Could he really let himself take you now, when he was unsure of what was love and what was lust? 

Frustrated, Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his eyes shut tightly to alleviate the red from his vision. Trying to restrain himself so intensely was beginning to grow painful, his muscles and joints aching from the need to just devour you. Even your lips barely brushing against his was enough to send shocking tingles through every nerve, urging him to taste you. 

I shouldn’t do this.

But I need her. I want her! 

I could hurt her! She doesn’t know what I could do. 

She’s not protected by the magic… She could become pregnant--

“Katsuki.” 

The sultry sound of his name coming from your lips instantly snapped his restraint like a twig, not even opening his eyes as he kissed you roughly. The feeling of his hot lips against yours made you immediately melt into him, moaning softly with the first rough nibble to your bottom lip in a demand for access. The kiss was sloppy and wet, with little direction except the mutual cravings to taste each other. You couldn’t help but wonder for a moment if he kissed the other women like this, so fierce and passionate, with an unrelenting aggressiveness that made you feel weak in the knees. 

Unable to move or find a moment to breathe, you began to struggle again, trying to tug your arms down out of his grip to at least be able to hold him. You had no luck. Instead, he moved to grip both of your wrists with one hand, his other roughly gripping your neck and pressing you back against the wall with a frustrated growl. “You trying to escape me?” His lips left yours, pressing against your flushed cheek with a wicked smirk. A low rumbling began in his chest, a deep and hungry purr that was completely different from the sweet and innocent sound you had heard in the past. “My little pet… You can’t get away, now.” 

A soft whimper escaped you, biting down onto your bottom lip as Bakugou ran his tongue along your cheek to your ear, leaving a hot trail of saliva in his wake. “I-I’m not…” You relaxed your head back against the stone, looking up at the ceiling as his tongue slid along the shell of your ear. The pain of his teeth pulling on your earlobe was paired with the pleasure of his knee pressing up into your sex, your clit immediately met with the friction of his pants as there was no underwear to create a barrier. 

Able to feel your heat against his leg, his purr only grew deeper, his hand leaving your throat to move down your body. His touch was hot and rough, caressing your figure and digging his sharp nails into your plush areas that he deemed worthy of a squeeze. You couldn’t help but continue to whine and wiggle with the slight pain, only further pleasuring yourself against his leg. “K-Katsuki--” 

“Don’t be shy,” Bakugou spoke in your ear, his hot breath running down your neck. “You want me? Show me how much of a horny bitch you are.” His hand set firm on your hip, his teeth lightly scraping along the skin of your jaw. “C’mon, pet. You were so desperate to have me, now you do.” 

God, your body was so hot. Every inch of you felt like a raging inferno, and the fire had nowhere else to escape but between your legs. Your sex was throbbing and aching, absolutely begging for his touch. The need was too much, so you began to roll your hips, grinding yourself eagerly against his leg. 

“That’s it,” Bakugou released your wrists, tugging your body in closer while still forcing you to straddle his leg. Now, however, each roll of your hips had you pressing into his cock, his girth impressive from what you could feel. Your head free for the moment, you took the chance to look down, eyes glancing over his muscular torso before focusing on the bulge in his pants. The grey fabric was taut against the form of his cock, and was dark with wetness from where you assumed the head to be. You wanted to touch him, to feel him throb in your hands, but you found that they were otherwise engaged. 

You were forced to hold on tightly to his shoulders to keep yourself balanced, since Bakugou was doing little to help you. He had both his hands on your ass, holding and squeezing while you fucked his thigh. His lips were still at your neck, growling and panting against your skin with each moment of pressure against his cock. Listening to him, you started to feel lost in the moment, loosening up to instead wrap your arms around his neck. Though, with a sudden rough bump of his leg into your sex, you released a loud moan near his ear, which was quick to set him off again. 

Taking the back of your shift into his hands, he ripped the thin fabric open, exposing your back to the chill of the room. “A-ah, Katsuki-- Wait--” Removing his leg from between yours, you found your front pressed into the wall, the torn shift falling in loose rags against your body. Standing behind you, Bakugou kept one hand on your back between your shoulders to make sure you couldn’t move, while his other trailed down your back and to your hip. He left light marks along your skin from his nails, but those really weren’t what he was focusing on. That perfect curve and dip in your back. The shape and plushness of your perfect ass. The light glistening off your skin where your essence had spread across your sex and down your thighs. 

“So pretty,” Confident that you weren’t going to move, he released your back to grip your ass in both hands, spreading you open to see every inch of you. You couldn’t stop the twitching of your pussy at his touch, his thumbs so close that your body instinctively arched out more for him. The effort paid off for a moment, his thumbs slipping into your folds to pull your pussy open nice and wide for him. “Fuck… How many other cocks have filled up this pretty pussy?” 

Turning your head a bit to look at him over your shoulder, you caught his piercing glare, feeling your core twist at the sight. “N-not that many… They can never satisfy me.” 

Leaning forward, Bakugou pressed his lips roughly against your cheek, his hips grinding into yours and digging the length of his cock against your sex. “And none of them ever will,” He growled into your ear. “You’re mine. And once I’m done with you, all you’ll be able to think about is my cock. You’re going to be so fucking marked up and covered in my cum no other man will ever think about touching you.” 

“I don’t want any other man. I only want you.” 

“Good girl.” Another lick and bite on your ear made you moan softly. “My little pet… My pretty mate.” His hands left you for only a moment to pull his pants down, finally freeing his hard and throbbing cock. It came to rest for a moment between your cheeks, giving you a decent look at it once he sat up from leaning over you. His length and girth matched the size and muscular figure of his body, making your entire body quiver with a mix of excitement and worry. 

“S-so big…” Your voice came out as a trembling whisper, though you had expected it to stay in your mind as a mere thought. Bakugou chuckled, slowly running his tip along your wet slit, teasing your clit. 

“We’ll see if it’s everything you’ve dreamt about.” Without any further warning, Bakugou began to push his cock into you, the tightness of your cunt pulling a sharp hiss from his mouth. “Oh fuck…!” 

The feeling of him entering you immediately made you feel breathless, gasping and digging your nails into the stone wall. “A-ah, wait--! It’s so big! I-I’m not,- I can’t-!” 

“You said you could take it, my pet. So take it.” 

With a sharp snap of his hips, Bakugou buried himself completely within you, making you cry out and nearly collapse as your knees tried to buckle out from under you. There wasn’t another second that passed before he began to fuck you, holding your hips steady with a fierce grip. It was so much at once that your mind was already going blank, the initial uncomfortable feeling of being so incredibly full beginning to morph into an unrelenting pleasure. It left you completely breathless, barely able to find the strength to stay standing. All you could do was moan. 

“How does that cock feel inside you, huh? You like being fucked like the horny bitch you are?” A rough slap to your ass made your voice squeak, and you somehow found the conscious strength to look back at him over your shoulder. 

“I-it feels good! M-my Lord, do whatever you want with me!” You gasped as your hair was suddenly in his fist, pulling you back up against his torso. Hand wrapping around your throat, he continued to thrust into you, his lips at your ear as his deep grumbling purr began again. 

“Don’t fucking call me that. What is my name?” 

“K-Katsuki-!” It was almost impossible to speak through the grip he had on your neck, and mixed with the breathlessness brought on by the pleasure, you weren’t sure if you were even going to stay conscious. 

“Say it again.” 

“Katsuki!” 

“And what am I?” 

“M-my mate! Katsuki, please, I--” As your eyes began to roll back, you found your body floating in a hazy sea of pleasure, the lack of steady oxygen making you oblivious to everything else. It had already been building up in your core, pushing you closer and closer towards release, but you just weren’t there yet. 

“Are you going to cum already, my little pet?” His nails dug into the skin of your neck, making you wince and whine from the pain. Yet, you didn’t hate it. 

“M-more! Katsuki, please- A-ah! Fuck!” Releasing your neck, he grabbed both of your wrists and pulled them back, forcing you to bend over. With this new leverage, he slammed his cock so deep and hard into you that you couldn’t even find the air to moan. Head hanging, you watched his muscular legs and the way your arousal dripped from your ravaged pussy behind blurry, teary vision, only able to take a split second to be amazed at how truly turned on you really were. You were the hottest you had ever been in your entire life, so needy and aching for any attention or passion Bakugou would throw your way. It didn’t matter what he wanted to do to you. You would take it all just to finally be one with him. 

Each thrust inside of you had your pleasure spiking, the coil within your core growing tighter and tighter, until the tension was too much to bear. When it finally broke, your body reacted without any conscious thought, twitching and trying desperately to escape the pleasure as he only continued to pound into you against the constricting of your walls. “Ka- a-ah! N-no, wait--!” 

“Not so fast, my pet,” Bakugou used his grip on your arms to yank you backwards, one hand firmly on your throat. His other arm latched around your hips, keeping you in place while continuing to roll and dig his cock deep inside you, pressing against that delicious spot that drove you mad. “Fuck, your pussy feels so good squeezing my cock like that. You’re so damn perfect, I just want to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum.” 

“F-fill me up, Katsuki-!” You gave a choked moan as his grip tightened on your neck, his deep, grinding movements returning to the erratic and rough thrusts. You could tell that, in that moment, the thought of pleasuring you at all had completely left him. All that was on his mind now was doing just as he wanted, just as you had asked him to, and you were at his mercy. Even his teeth sinking into the skin of the crook of your neck didn’t deter the pleasure for you, the sudden spike of pain only making you arch your hips up even more for him, up on your tiptoes as far as you could possibly get. 

With the movement, Bakugou released a frustrated growl mixed in with his groans and sighs of pleasure, his teeth only sinking further into your skin. The warmth that spread down your collarbone told you that he must have broke skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat that filled your womb in the next instant. The cum that coated your pulsing walls was hotter than anything you had ever felt, bringing a gasp from your hoarse throat. Desperately trying to clutch on to anything that you could to help distract you from the feeling, you snatched onto the arm of the hand that held your neck, clawing at his skin. 

“H-hot, oh fuck- it’s so hot!” Although at first it was an uncomfortable sensation, you were slowly enveloped by the warmth, spreading through every inch from the belly out. When you began to relax, your eyes grew heavy, loosening your tense posture to rest back against Bakugou’s broad chest. “So hot… It’s nice…”

Teeth still in your skin, Bakugou began to purr, that same deep and rough sound that vibrated all through your body. Releasing your neck, his hand moved down your body, coming to a stop on your stomach. “Mm…” He smirked against your bleeding skin, running his tongue along the wound. “Delicious… You’re going to look so fucking beautiful when you’re carrying my children.” As he pulled his still hard cock out of you, his cum began to dribble down your trembling thighs, wondering for a moment just how much he had released. 

Mind still hazy from the pleasure and the heat, you brought a hand up to tangle into his hair, turning your head to catch his lips. The metallic, sweet taste of your blood of his lips and his tongue were of no consequence, moaning softly against the kiss as both of his hands gripped and squeezed your breasts eagerly. From the feeling of his cock still between your thighs, hard and pulsing, you knew that this wasn’t over. You didn’t want it to be over. He had felt so heavenly inside of you, his attention and affection, however rough it may be, was filling your heart to the brim. 

“I want to… Katsuki, please pick me! I want to always be at your side, to be your wife and carry your children.” You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Please make me your mate!” 

There wasn’t another word shared between you as he kissed you, cupping your backside to scoop you up into his arms. Legs hooking around his waist, he carried you towards the bed, the plush softness of the blankets against your back lost to the euphoria that was his body intertwined with yours. 

…

Bakugou wasn’t sure the time of day when he finally came out of his haze. The red that had blurred his vision had subsided in a sudden flash of white, finding that he was panting quite heavily, his forehead pressed into soft flesh. His consciousness returned to him slowly with the final pounding waves of his orgasm, his cock buried deep within the still twitching and constricting walls of a woman. No, not just any woman. It was his woman. You. 

Slowly, he felt tired arms wrap around him, softly stroking up and down his scratched and sweaty back. With this movement, his head was gently pushed further against wherever he rested, which became clear by the pulsing against his lips that it was your neck. With a deep groan, Bakugou kissed your skin softly, working his way up along your jawline to your cheek. Your fingers in his hair made him feel so calm and secure, more than he had ever felt in the weeks since his rut first started. 

It was odd. Usually, Bakugou could never stop once he got going. At least, not without using extreme self-control. He would need to keep going until his body was at its limit, but now, there was nothing. All that was left was this overwhelming softness, an urge to protect, and a love that he had refused to accept all these years. You were something so special to him, so incredibly precious, and you were his. All his. 

Is that why he finally felt at peace? Is this what he had been missing? Are you what he had been craving for all this time? 

The unfamiliar butterflies fluttering about in his stomach were proof enough, bringing him to nuzzle his nose against your cheek as your hand softly stroked his. It was then that the uncontrollable soft rumble began in his chest, which was the complete opposite of the aggressive purr he had been making most of the morning. He finally had you. And he was happy. 

“Katsuki,” You spoke in a hoarse whisper, turning your head a bit to finally catch his gaze. “What’s that cute noise you’re making?” Your continued touch along his cheek made him realize that his scales had finally subsided, figuring he was mostly back to normal for the time being. How bad he had gotten, he really couldn’t remember, and just hearing how faint your voice was made him worry. 

“Fuck off, you know what it is. Are you alright?” 

Clearing your throat, you nodded, smiling against his lips. “I’m fine, Katsuki. Perfect, actually. I’ve never been happier… But I am pretty thirsty.” 

“You look it.” Carefully moving some hair out of your face, Bakugou placed a kiss on your lips before sitting up from you, removing his member as well. As he flopped to sit on the bed, he felt a twinge of true concern while looking you over. “Fuck. I was way too damn aggressive.” Bruises, bitemarks, and red scratches littered your beautiful skin, your neck and thighs being the areas that received the most abuse. Shiny with sweat, you were truly a sight to behold, and the amount of his cum that stained your body and pooled between your legs was more than he had seen in a while. You were beautiful and ruined. Marked and scratched. And all his. 

“Oh, I really don’t mind.” Sitting up, you lightly ran your fingers along a bite mark on the top of your left breast. “I didn’t know what to expect coming in, but… it really did feel amazing. I’ll be sore, but it’s worth it!” Smiling, you reached over and took both of his hands tenderly, bringing one up to softly kiss his fingers. “Mm… I’m so happy…” 

With only a light tug on your hand to beckon you forward, Bakugou let his arms rest around your waist as you straddled his lap, facing him. A soft kiss was shared as you rested against him, the purr returning. “I am, too. It was a stupid fucking thing for you to do, but… I’m glad you took the risk of coming here.” 

“You were pretty much moving subconsciously through most of it, though, right?” 

 “Hm… I mean, I remember some things, and the feelings, but that animalistic part of me was… really strong.” 

“I was just gonna say that… it was super cute when you kept calling me your mate,” You couldn’t resist a smile as Bakugou’s cheeks flushed, the color spreading to the tips of his ears. “And you were calling me your pet.” 

“Ah... Well, so what if I was?!” Bakugou’s embarrassment instantly had him feeling defensive, even as you laughed and hugged him tightly. “I wanted you, alright?! And not just right then, for fucking years! I was excited-- stop laughing at me!” 

You nuzzled your nose against his neck, sighing in happiness as you closed your eyes. “Aahh, Katsuki… you’re so cute. I’m so happy that you picked me, out of all the women you could have.” 

“There’s no other woman I’d ever want than you. How about we clean up and get some food. I think we could both use some rest. My beautiful mate…”

[blushinggray]

Free! The Final Stroke screeching/reaction (spoilers)

AHHHHH I JUST WATCHED THE FINAL STROKE MOVIE TODAY IN THEATERS ON PREMIER DAY AND IT WAS LAKSJDFOAIFJWOEI to summarize it all, it was Very Gay, which was to be expected but they DID NOT have to get so freaking extra with it 😩😩😩

much screaming and many spoilers ahead

FIRST OF ALL, KIRISHIMA NATSUYA: HE WAS SO FUCKING HANDSOME DAFKJOIEFJOSIDJF. SO HANDSOME. SO HANDSOME AND STUPID AND OVERLY FRIENDLY AS WE LOVE HIM TO BE ALKDSJFOAIEW.

he was in the film for a total of maybe 5 minutes altogether, which was kind of a lot bc the film kind of was just putting all the characters back in for the sake of putting them in imo? for the fans, lol. so everyone could see their faves. and in these five minutes that he appeared, our mans:

bragged about his little brother he's so proud of

got laughed at by nao for being natsuya (aka dumb and straightforward) as usual

trained with sousuke (he was hanging out in the same pool with him, nao, and makoto to train and aid in sousuke's rehab training)

got a call from ikuya after the international swimming competition in sydney!!!! in that same cafe he's always at!!!! and he was with nao at the time he got the call. casual and cool as always, being the cool big brother or whatever. he ended the call with a curt, "you got it. see you. don't catch a cold."

HE WAS HANGING OUT AT CAFE MARON WHILE THEY WAITED FOR THE SYDNEY COMPETITORS TO COME BACK TO JAPAN. HE WAS BEHIND THE COUNTER WITH ASAHI (WHO WAS HOLDING BABY TSUKIMI IN A CARRIER ON HIS CHEST!!!!!) AND HE THREW HIS ARM AROUND ASAHI AND WAS GETTING SO CLOSE LIKE ALKSDJFAOIEJAOEI. I have absolutely no clue what he was saying at the time bc i was too busy freaking out and trying to hold in the sounds bc the theater was so quiet. but his GODDAMN FACE. HE WAS SMIRKING. SO HANDSOME 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

and of fucking course, they were all out together at a restaurant when the sydney competitors came back, and he was like, "wth no one else is drinking alcohol tonight?" and nao was like "ofc not haha" AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

HE FUCKING FALLS ASLEEP AT THE TABLE AFTER DRINKING AND EVERYONE IS SURROUNDING HIM AND PATTING HIM LIKE "dude..." and ikuya is sitting there like, omg can't believe this mess is my brother....

i thought that just might be his last scene in the film but then we show back up to the kirishima household and natsuya is eating some sort of luxury holiday(?) bento and ikuya is like "aren't you gonna save any for me?" and natsuya's like "of course not. this is for me, you gotta wait until next year xD" and then ikuya just fucking SNATCHES up several different foods and stuffs his face with all of them and natsuya starts arguing with him over them laskjdfoawiefjao where was this brotherly affection all this time?????

and then cut to a few seconds later, natsuya's bumming in his room on the floor like in s3 when ikuya comes in and tells him about his new future goals and alskdjfaoei brothers sharing their ambitions together 😩😩 WHAT IS GOING ON. EVERYONE GETS ALONG SO WELL NOW???

NEXT: we'll go back to the beginning i guess lmfao but they're preparing for some sort of university festival

we start off with an easily misunderstandable shoujo-style situation where asahi is talking to ikuya like, "i know it's your first time... you don't have to be nervous. i know you can do it." and ikuya's like "no! i can't 😣" like the tsun he is backed up against the wall. and then it turns out they're trying to make a mille feuille cake.... but everything he's made so far looked like crepes

and for some damn reason, KISUMI comes outta nowhere into the kitchen and is like "ooooh what's this? a mille feuille cake? although they all look kinda like crepes haha ^^" and then ikuya RUNS THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN, yelling, "i told you i couldn't do it!!!" like the fucking tsun he is... and asahi is yelling at kisumi like "why did you just say that!!!" and starts rubbing his knuckles into kisumi's head and kisumi's just laughing like, "oh did i do that hehe"

and for some reason... seijuurou is working at the booth in his speedo and swim team jacket. i mean i'm not complaining but sir.... PLS TAKE MY MONEY AND GIVE ME YOUR FAT OCTOPUS BALLS. (he literally started a batter mixing competition with hoshikawa inside the booth, like what are they even doing in the same booth???)

then rin and sousuke show up to ikuya, asahi, and hiyori(?)'s booth, and they're offering them the crepes and then they get into a conversation about smth that leads into them showing the embarrassing photos they have of each other?????? like ikuya has a pic of rin in his maid costume for some reason??? (tho it isn't shown) and rin shows an embarrassing pic of ikuya he has in his phone that he got from natsuya???????????? and then ikuya starts chasing after rin yelling at him to delete it lasdkjfoaei

and then haru is off to the side selling ugly ass bird mascots again lmfao. bc ofc he is. love that weirdo

BUT THE REAL KICKER HERE IS KINJOU!!!!!!!!!!!

APPARENTLY, HIS VILLAIN BACKSTORY COMES FROM HIS CHILDHOOD CRUSH (/exaggerated) ON HIYORI ALSKDJFOAIE WHAAAT. apparently he was that annoying kid in the playground who would go up to hiyori and bother him bc he wanted a friend. bb hiyori was literally like "why are you even talking to me so much?" in his sandbox. and bb kinjou is like, "well there's gotta be smth you like, right? what is it?" and hiyori's like "well i feel kinda happy when i'm swimming... :)" as images of ikuya flash into his mind, that gay ass

BUT KINJOU'S GAY ASS EYES START SPARKLING TOO AND THEN HE'S LIKE "I GOTTA LEARN WHAT THE BIG DEAL ABOUT SWIMMING IS" and he runs home, begs his brother to take him to the pool. but next time he brings his swimming stuff with him to the playground, hiyori isn't there anymore and apparently he left for america at that time (or smth). so poor baby basically got ghosted

but hiyori still knows him when they're older!!!! kinjou shows up when they're throwing out the trash after the uni festival and calls out to hiyori to taught him (which is where that bullying preview scene came from i guess) and alkfjeoiaejoaifj omfg it's like that estranged childhood friends (sorta) trope but it'll never go kinjou's way bc hiyori is and will always be in love with ikuya 😔

kinjou would make such a good yandere tho!!!! he has a feral expression on a few times throughout the movie, and during a race he gets super competitive mid-race and... ngl he was kinda sexy 😳 i'm actually kind of surprised by how taken i was with him in this movie. doesn't help that he's unfairly handsome and his hair looks fucking amazing. i MAY OR MAY NOT be exploring this man in the future..................

i also found the ending with haru pretty interesting!!!! it kind of hints at neurodivergence? smth along the lines of disassociation or multiple personalities? (guess 50% off was kinda right on that end lmfao).

he gets obsessed with beating albert wahlander, which is the most fired up i've ever seen him (to the point of almost hurting himself) and then the shadow or whatever effect albert has on haru kind of just overtakes him and pushes haru out of his own body in a way... it doesn't make sense to describe it this way, i know, but haru is literally watching himself say hurtful things to his friends while being overtaken by this... albert obsessed persona?

it's so interesting to see haru being the one obsessing over someone instead of the other way around for once!!! at the end of the movie (after all the credits) haru says the same thing he once said at the beginning of season 1? about how "at age 5, you're a prodigy. at age 15, you're a genius. at age 20(?), you're average." and this is def gonna be explored/concluded in the second part of the final stroke movie so i'm excited for that!!!! april 2022 come at me!!!!

there were SOOOOO many other things going on, plot wise and fanservice wise, and ofc kyoto animation was fucking TOP TIER SHIT. all the water effects... there was a shot where haru was looking at his reflection in the water and they make a drop fall and spread and shake his reflection in the waves and it was lafkjsefoiaeja fucking glorious. the soundtrack was lovely too. there was a RADWIMPS-esque beginning song and a sexy ass electric guitar buildup for kinjou (which may or may not be contributing to my growing obsession with him...)

AHHHH!!!! it was so good and everyone was so cute and handsome and gay and funny. we literally see every single character we've met before in some way, shape, or form lmfao. i might just go back to the theater and watch it again on one of the upcoming holidays this week.... SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

I LOVE ALL THESE GAY SWIMMING BOYS SO MUCH 😩😩😩

[fandom-imagines]

October

Fandom: Halloween

Pairing: Michael Myers X Reader

Warnings: Death, attempted rape (not by Michael), hurt. (also not proof read because it’s 4am and I’m very inspired so I’ll proof read it another day).

Summary: Y/N hates fall, but that changes upon meeting someone special.

Words: 2.8k

A/N: I’ve been obsessed with the song ‘we fell in love in October’ by Girl in Red and yeah this just kinda happened because of it.

Fall had never been Y/N’s favourite season. As a matter of fact, it was one she hated and dreaded the most each year. Well, until she met him.

They met during October, nearing Halloween.

Sure, she had heard the whispers about the infamous Michael Myers who murdered his sister and many others. Did she care? No. Not really anyway. It wasn’t like she’d ever see him… right?

Well, that’s what she thought. She had never believed that she’d ever meet him, nor see him. But, everyone can be wrong sometimes.

The stars glistened brightly as Y/N lay on a blanket, gazing at them dreamily.

It might have been cold, freezing actually, and the jacket that hung loosely from her body provided very little warmth, but she still enjoyed it. Despite hating fall, she did particularly like the late nights. Not many people would be around on the nights due to the cold weather which meant that she was able to be alone whenever she wished, except for Halloween of course when children and teenagers alike would be wandering the streets of Haddonfield.

Lost in her thoughts whilst staring at the stars, she finally realised something.

“Shit I’m lonely.” A slight chuckle left her lips at the words.

As if on cue, a sadistic voice sounded behind her causing her whole body to tense, “Do you often talk to yourself late at night?” She could almost hear the smirk through his words which was followed by numerous laughs.

Quickly climbing onto her feet, she turned to face the people, who she quickly assumed was a gang after seeing their similar outfits and weapons ‘hidden’ in their pockets.

“Sometimes, yes.” She gave a casual smile, doing her best to hide how afraid she truly was. Despite the shaking of her hand, she showed not true fear, her eyes simply filled with determination. “Can I help you gentlemen?”

“I believe you can, pretty lady.” The man, who she believed to be the leader of the gang, stepped towards her with a huge smirk on his lips.

“How so?” Y/N’s head tilted to the side, hair falling with the movement, covering her face in a cute manner that almost made the men feel guilty; key word being almost.

Nothing could really change their beliefs after it being instilled in them from being children.

All five of the men walked towards her, an action that made the girls strong stance falter. Both her stance and demeanour crumbled into tiny pieces as the first guy grasped her shoulder tightly, leaving her unable to shrug it off despite her attempts.

“Let go of me.” She mumbled, eyes darting towards the ground.

“Awe, you sound so cute when you say that.” Another man chuckled, beginning to palm himself through his, almost too tight, jeans which made her realise what was about to happen. “Say it again.” He stifled a moan at her small, afraid whimpers.

“Please.” Her tone was a pleading one, simply sparking the enjoyment and pleasure in the men’s eyes.

“Awe, she’s so cute guys. Maybe we should kee-“The leaders voice was cut short by a knife to the heart, blood quickly making its way to his mouth, pouring down his lips. Everyone, besides the perpetrator of course, stood frozen still.

Y/N watched in horror as each of the men were slaughtered in front of her.

It was only once the last man fell to the ground that she finally looked up to see the man who has rescued her.

“Michael…” The name left her lips before she could even stop herself. All she got in return was a simple head tilt from the extremely tall man. “Thank you.” She whispered to him before taking a step forward. “Even if it was a strange last sight, I still appreciate it.” Her words came out hoarse now as she realised that it was the end of her life.

Michael simply tilted his head again, looking almost like a confused puppy. In fact, it was cute to her. Sure he had just murdered five men, but he saved her and she couldn’t thank him enough for that, even if he was about to kill her.

Y/N’s eyes closed as she stood in front of Michael, his body towering over her in a way that intimidated her significantly. Her body braced herself for the stab.

One second…

Two seconds…

Three seconds…

She wasn’t sure how long she was stood there, but the stab never came. Her eyes flew open, wondering as to why she was still breathing, only to reveal Michael was no longer stood there.

That was at the start of October.

It had been over a week since then and she was still alive as well as extremely confused.

He saved her and then didn’t kill her? Michael Myers? Willingly sparing somebody’s life?

From what she had heard, she assumed that that wasn’t normal for him. But the more she thought about it, the more confused she became.

Each night was spent wondering why he spared her life; why he saved her.

Sure, maybe it was the bloodlust. But why would he spare her? She didn’t know him, he didn’t know her and he was some bloodthirsty killer.

She thought nearly every hour of every day, pondering why he spared her, but she was unable to think of a valid and reasonable answer.

Little did she know, she would receive her answer that day.

Y/N’s lips formed into an O shape as she puffed out the smoke from her lips, cigarette limp in her hand which hung beside her thigh.

The roof she was on was one she visited often.

Nobody was able to come up here, meaning that she was the only one here.

She did love to be alone, like she was right now.

Or so she thought.

Behind her stood a tall, masked man that the entirety of Haddonfield knew as Michael Myers, the guy who killed many, including five men a week ago.

He stalked towards her, knife nowhere in sight, simply store in his pocket, close to reach if he needed to grab it, but hidden enough to not scare the girl.

He watched fascinated as she lifted the lit cigarette to her lips. He caught sight of her painted fingernails, a nice shade of red. It was strange of Michael to pay attention to such simple things, tending to be focused on the colour of the blood pouring from his victims. Maybe that was why he noticed her nails; the blood red reminding him of his victims.

Michael himself wasn’t entirely sure as to why he spared her life. He had stalked her for the past week ever since the incident, the feeling in his stomach leaving him irritated. He became especially irritated when he couldn’t bring himself to force the steel knife into her chest whilst she slept soundly, oblivious as to the fact that there was a killer hovering over her, unable to strike.

There was a small part of him that understood what the feeling was, an extremely small part that he ignored.

He was infatuated with her.  

Maybe it was the way she did her best to stand up for herself, or the way she walked towards him unafraid despite having just witnessed him kill five other men. It could also be how she thanked him, despite knowing who he was. Or maybe he just liked the way his name sounded falling from her lips and he wished to hear it again.

He wasn’t sure which reason it was, maybe a combination of all of them. But he was fully aware of the fact that he couldn’t kill her; he had tried multiple times in the week following the incident but, despite the voices screaming at him to do it, he couldn’t bring himself to end her life.

Michael was now behind her on the rooftop, nearing the edge where she was stood, gaze focused on the scenery ahead of her, blissfully unaware of the shadow looming over her.

His huge hands gripped her shoulder, pushing her gently, a big enough push for her to be scared, a scream leaving her lips, but his grip tight enough making sure that she wouldn’t fall.

He didn’t want that.

Eyes wide, she spun around to face the person who had almost killed he.

Her eyes widened even more as she saw who stood in front of her,

“Michael…”

He simply nodded before leaving.

“Don’t go.” She called for him, pleading for him to stay, almost like she had pleaded for the men to stop.

She watched as his body came to a halt.

“Michael,” His body tensed, “please stay.”

He did.

That was how their relationship, if you could even call it that, began.

That was two weeks ago.

It’s only a week until Halloween.

Until Michael next killing spree.

Y/N wasn’t sure how it had happened, but Michael had ended up staying at her house nearly every night.

Sure, he crashed on the couch, surprising her, but he did stay with her.

The two grew attached to each other, even if Michael was unaware as to this fact. He was, however, aware of the fact that he couldn’t kill her; he couldn’t even harm her, even if he wanted too.

It was another night with Y/N lounging on the couch, watching some random movie that was playing on the TV. Weirdly enough, she was alone tonight. She had no idea where Michael was, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t worried. But she knew him well enough, or at least she liked to think she did, to know that he could take care of himself. He’s a big man, quite literally.

A knock on her front door pulled her attention away from her thoughts as curiosity filled her body. She didn’t know who it could be. She wasn’t exactly expecting somebody, and it wasn’t Halloween so there’d be no kids looking for free candy, something that Y/N began to curse at herself for, remembering that she had meant to pick some up today.

The knocking grew louder and more aggressive the longer she waited.

“Hello?” Her voice was confused as she greeted the weird man on her doorstep.

“Y/N, right?” He was straight to the point.

“Uhm…?”

“Dr Loomis, I need to speak to you.” He barged past her, startling her immensely and she internally begged Michael would be here soon if things went badly.

“Okay?”

She carefully closed the front door, turning to face the guy named Loomis who was now stood in the middle of her lounge.

“What is it?” Her words were cautious, chosen with extreme carefulness as she wasn’t entirely sure who this man was.

“I know of your relationship with Michael Myers.”

Crap.

“My what?” Her words sounded confused, despite her knowing exactly what. “Michael Myers? As in the killer?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I know he’s been staying here, and you’ve been letting him. In fact, I know you’ve become quite attached to him but let me tell you this, he is evil, and doesn’t feel anything for you. I’m quite sure he’s simply here for a place to stay and will kill you when he finds another place.” Loomis’s words were sharp, he wasn’t playing around.

“I seriously don’t know what you mean. Now, I think you should leave before I call the police.” Y/N demanded, walking over to swing the front door open for him to leave.

“I’ll be back to deal with you.” He spat before having the door slammed in his face.

~

Y/N wasn’t too sure how long it had been as she was curled up on the couch, wondering what she could do.

Should she tell Michael? Should she keep it from him? How did this guy even know? Why did he want to know? What should she do?

The back door swung open, Michaels way of alerting her to his presence.

She payed on attention to the noise, simply remaining in her thoughts.

It wasn’t until he was in front of her did she finally break from those thoughts, looking up at him with such fear in her eyes, shortly followed by tears leaking from them, trickling down her cheeks.

“S-sorry.” The girl hiccupped, tilting her head in order to make her hair fall in front of her face, not wanting Michael to see her like this.

Once she realised that Michael wasn’t leaving, she glanced up.

He stood there, bloody knife still in hand as though he was preparing to attack, not her but somebody else. His masked head was tilted, the same as he did when he was confused.

“I met someone today.” Y/N’s words were quiet, not noticing the way Michaels grip on the knife tightened at the sentence, knuckles turning white as his whole body was strained with anger. “He knows you’ve been staying here. He said his name was Dr Loomis.”

Michael left.

~

That was two days ago now.

She hadn’t seen him in two days, and it was safe to say that she did miss him. And, weirdly enough, he missed her also, in his own Michael way.

She wandered the streets, unaware of the gaze focused on her and her alone. Y/N had decided on a thick jumper today which hugged her body in a way that actually provided warmth this time. Her jeans were also a source of warmth. The wind blew through her H/C locks, tossing them behind her.

She looked beautiful.

The girl had arranged to meet a friend today in order to take her mind off of Michaels disappearance.

She had let Loomis’s words get to her, assuming that he had found somebody else like he had said. But, he hadn’t killed her, not yet at least.

Her steps slowed down, eventually halting as she realised something. Something she wished she hadn’t.

She loved Michael.

She couldn’t think about this for more than ten seconds before hearing her name leave somebody’s lips behind her.

“Y/N! Hey, why’re you stood still you weirdo.” Jessica, Y/N’s friend, giggled as she jogged to catch up to her.

“Hey.” Y/N’s smile was forced, the daunting realisation from moments ago still on her mind.

“How’re you doing?” The other girls smile was not forced, genuinely happy to see her friend after three weeks.

“I’m good.” Another forced smile, “How are you?” She tensed as Jessica’s arms wrapped around her friends shoulder.

~

A relieved sigh left Y/N’s painted lips as the door closed behind her.

The thought of it being unlocked didn’t even cross her mind, desperate to get inside, change into comfy clothes and just sit down. However, those plans were stopped when she felt a rough hand tug on her elbow, turning her to face him: Loomis.

“What the fuck?” She did her best to rip her arm from his grasp but to no avail, “Let go of me you creep!” She yelled, violently tugging her arm again.

“Tell me of your relationship with Michael Myers!” Loomis yelled back, refusing to let go of her, despite how hard his grip was, both of them unaware of the fact that bruises would be left.

“I don’t have one!” Another yell from her.

“Yes you do! Where is he?”

Tears began to pour down her cheeks and Y/N wasn’t sure if it was from panic, stress or the pain in her arm.

“Please let go of me.” She whispered quietly, tears falling to the ground.

“Only if you tell me where he-“ Loomis’s words were cut short due to a stab through the heart, reminding Y/N of the way Michael and her met.

She felt the grip on her arm loosen before watching the body drop to the floor, revealing a shaking, panting Michael. “Michael…”

He was covered in blood, shaking with both anger and hatred.

How dare Loomis touch what is his.

His…?

Michaels sudden realisation was similar to Y/N earlier that day.

Michael had seen that realisation happen, however he wasn’t sure as to why she simply stopped in the middle of the street.

He wanted her to be his and his alone.

He wanted her to belong to him and him alone.

No, he needed her to.

Michael showed no sign of the internal conflict he was facing as he stood in front of her.

“Are you okay?” Her words were concerned, more worried about Michael than the pain in her arm as well as the bruising.

A simple nod from him followed by a head tilt, wordlessly asking her the same.

“I’m okay.” She gulped, unable to look him in the eyes, something which irritated him.

His annoyance was evident in his stride towards her, leaving her afraid.

She gulped again once he was in front of her, watching as his arm raised towards her, hand tightly gripping her jaw, forcing her to look him in the eyes, his eyes showing a strange emotion for him.

Trust.

They fell in love in October, and that’s why Y/N loves fall.

[stray-tori]

Making peace with TPN S02E04 (anime-only)

Post summary: my problems with the episode, possible explanations for why and how to minimize the problems. also some speculation.

The thoughts are mostly based on the anime in a bubble, aside from the segments where I mention otherwise.

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#0 - My mixed feelings about staying anime-only

This is strange, because... I’m not really hype for next week? I want more, but not in the same excited way I did before. Because I simply don’t know what to expect anymore.

I want to stick as an anime-only so I can deliver stand-alone thoughts as this... clunky and stumbling adaptation makes its way towards the finish line (obviously it won’t be done this season but, yeah ---- i mean, hopefully not, who knows what they’ll do at this point).

But another part of me is just... more excited to read the manga to see what it is like and what the differences are, after the anime is done (which was always my plan, but I was never really actively excited about it pff-). And I feel like your anime approach has failed when I’m moreso looking forward to reading the source material eventually. I do hope that with ep5 they’ll get back on track and this feeling will fade. That they have a meaningful plan and reason for why ep4 felt so messy and disjointed - a reason why it had to go this way, because I feel like they just wanted them out of the bunker, but this is not the way imo (more on that in the next segment)

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#1 - Leaving the bunker - mix of feeling “rushed” and “waste of time”

I feel like where the anime is going, they kind of wrote themselves into a corner in Episode 4. The story setup was leading them to this place (i.e. the bunker), but they obviously didn’t want them to stay there long.

What is the problem? / The way it was setup, we got about an episode of them being there (too few to have emotional attachment to the place) and then being chased out when things went well. In a way it is both too soon, but since nothing really worth the ~1 episode “fluff” happened there in the end, it feels pointless or as if we just wasted time, just for them to leave in the end.

Imo, the bunker is needed for two things, 1) being the first goal for them to go to, so the story isn’t aimless right away and 2) info dumps. Most of the children’s content can be repurposed during their forest time or doesn’t seem relevant right now.

For the record, I personally think that they got found out makes sense in-universe,

WM said he was found out, it’s not unlikely the farm knows that bunkers exist and might even have a vague idea of where they are

that there are multiple could be assumed by the army guy saying, “That’s how shelters usually are” -- If the world has been like this for 1000 years, what other purpose than human survival in a demon would could shelter even have? 

I don’t think the pursuers communicated it back (got lucky, Ray) because if they did, they wouldn’t show up a whole month later.

they could have just observed them, they’ve been on the surface quite a bit.

(though I also agree it should be confirmed how the farm found out)

I’m just questioning the impact it had on me as a viewer (which is little) - the world is rigged against them, they can’t catch a break in a system this powerful chasing them and I think part of the confusion and “wait we’re back at square 1??” (literally) is intentional, to evoke the feeling of something being lost. If possible, I would keep the spirit of this idea (see “it’s a trap” in the next segment)

.

So what can we do to fix it?

Skipping the bunker / I don’t think we can remove the bunker outright. I suppose they could have had them just go straight for the new location by having the last keyword be another puzzle instead of the phone recording giving it away directly. But that might have too few things happening. That way they also would have gotten more time on their own to be wandering OR Mujika and Sonju might have been with them longer (which would honestly make sense from a meta point, too. I feel like they were a little short-lived.)

Less time in the bunker / if it feels pointless anyway, get it over with quickly

More time in the bunker / stay longer and have them do something else. Maybe they prepped to already go back to GF, time has passed and then they get raided. Problem: why did it take the farm force so long?

To be honest, I’m not sure that would have been much better so I’m personally more inclined to fix it with a very tightly connected problem, which will be the next segment:

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#3 - the HELP wall scare was pointless

What’s the problem? / the scare was used in between two segments of “the happy life in the bunker”(TM). The segments are the exact same feeling to me personally, just fluff. The scare changed NOTHING. Nothing that was revealed justifies it existing.

Pre wall scare: WM is an ally, the bunker is for escapees

Post wall scare: WM is an ally, he got discovered, the bunker is for escapees, there were escapees there before (?)

The wall doesn’t even have anything to do with WM. And we didn’t get enough details on the HELP wall, even on its own. Was the book and the “HELP”s from the same person? Why were they going crazy there? What did their siblings die from? It can’t be food, so it must have happened outside. Where they picked up by the Task Force(TM)?

The “don’t give up” is nice, but our crew didn’t need that pep talk I think - i guess with Minerva gone, they lost a hope for allies, but at the same time he gave them coordinates where to get support. If they didn’t get that and now were on their own, I’d get the whole uplifting book more, personally. I guess the tragedy here is that WM is dead? Maybe I’m not emphasizing with the characters enough on this.

. So what can we do to fix it?

Give more details to the wall / i.e. answering the questions posed above. Maybe show more of the diary. Maybe two were left and one killed themselves (they scribbled HELPs and were crazier) and left the other alone, and they decided they’re leaving for the human world. It doesn’t change that the scare doesn’t mean much, but it would at least be a little more personal.

Change the wall / remove the helps, leave the names and the counting. It would be a tragic reveal (instead of a over-dramatic scare) to see that people had died (around) here, making them scared for their own lives (I guess that’s kind of implied to be happening but since it doesn’t linger, I didn’t really notice.)

It’s a trap/they definitely know of the bunker / it’s not “help” but “run” which was a warning someone put there because they figured out the farms knew of the bunker (or they got attacked and one couldn’t leave). It being a trap would make sense because even as it’s now, I’m just assuming they vaguely know of the bunkers’ existence anyway. Then it wouldn’t be “yay bunker life! - scare - yay bunker life! - BOOM” but instead “yay bunker life! - it’s a trap... what do we do?” - you can still have the info dumps & the phone call and then they either realize it’s a trap and just leave (removing the problem of the....... interesting raid scenes), and BOOM (haha) you’re where the anime is now, since the troup got nom’ed anyway and aren’t a threat anymore. The mission would still fail since they’re gone, so Isabella’s plot is in tact too. I think this would also partly solve the bunker problem, because now something actually changed about the setup we know. It’s NOT the safe bunker anymore. It changes a lot about the world too - the farm knows of them so how much more of the WM support net is affected? It makes you think more about the larger scale implications (and ligns up nicely with the “I was discovered” talk from James, therefore making the wall shown at the same time relevant), + the bunker has another reason to be there, to reveal that. Personally, it would change our perception and understanding of the situation, which imo would make up for the lacking investment in the bunker itself. It would also prompt them to leave faster (likely), thus eliminating the “we spent so much time here for nothing” thing. If you really want to you can even have them stay anyway, since it’s the only thing they have and they opt to just leave on the first sign of someone actually being on their back. This requires a better night watch than Don though :D

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#4 - The little things

Missed drama - the episode was pretty casual about a lot of things; testing potentially dangerous food (fair because it was a nice segment), their new home being gone (fair because no attachment) and them seeing humans being eaten right in front of them (WHY WASN’T THIS MILKED). It makes it all seem like it’s not a big deal - which I guess in a survival story, it kind of isn’t. But I still feel like there wasn’t really any impactful moment this episode it just kinda went “brrr” and now we’re back to episode 1.

for real, please milk the wild demon eating people / he just kinda goes "nom" and the children are there and run. It feels like the anime itself barely takes it seriously - it's the first time (I think), they see a human get eaten by a demon and I feel like that could have used like a close up shot, and some more disgusted reactions by the children. I get that it's a world where that just happens but I feel like the anime just didn't take or see the change to do something more personal with it. I like it as an element at its core because it makes sense; they shot around, attracting the demon and I also like the irony of being saved by a wild creature. Even if that now chases you.

incompetent soldiers - why do they have guns? they can’t HARM / KILL the quality food, so WHY GUNS? -- People with guns are usually incompetent in anything because they just can’t hit anything, but that at least makes sense here. Still, what was the plan? Sheer intimidation? They’re the farms’ force right? Why don’t they know how to deal with wild demons? Possible answer: to prevent humans with guns knowing how to eliminate their higher ups :D doesn’t change that it makes them look stupid. Bro really got defeated by getting a cup thrown in his face. To be fair this specific one didn’t seem to be the brightest bulb, why the “huh?” when he found Don??? Is this relevant I’M SO CONFUSED.

where’s the character moments? - when they got to the bunker, everyone else kind of got the focus, and the main cast just didn't have any of those character moments anymore that made the previous episodes, especially episode 2, so touching and emotional for me. Don't get me wrong, I love the kind of fluff content with the children a lot but I kind of missed some.... it feels like it's more event driven (#BOOM) than character driven now, and idk how to really attach to that? Especially since with ep4 we didn't even really learn anything new (aside from a name and that he was indeed good and is now dead I guess).

.

#5 - Why?

Warning: this goes a bit into comparisons (nothing concrete though), and I obviously don’t know more than I picked up from fandom reactions.

My guess is that

“So... I cannot at this point say that we are going to animate the entire story to the very end. We are not at a point where we can say that. Sorry. (Laughs)”

from the MAL interview might be a factor. It seems they wanted to tell their own spin regardless (which I personally respect) but maybe they thought that unless they had a two-cour, it would be hard to keep up the investment the first season set up with what was originally in the manga (I had heard that it would be a weird pacing to do 11 episodes and maybe they wanted to make sure viewer engagement was high).

> “We know that there are viewers who, after they watch the anime, want to continue on and read the manga, and there are viewers who have read the manga first and are now watching the anime.”

(I’m not sure if “after the anime” means after a season or after the the whole adaptation)

Their goal is definitely an “unique” experience. And they seem to at least be aware that some people watch the anime first, so it has to make sense in a bubble.

I can’t say if I would have preferred a slower start into whatever the manga has that caps off at 11 episodes (idk how much rewarding stuff could have fit in there), since they probably fear of not being able to do a complete adaptation too. And I feel like as I’m getting it, they are trying to quickly reintroduce what people cared about in s1 --- in Isabella’s case, maybe a bit too early. there was barely any time to really miss her imo.

But I’m also not sure if whatever they’re aiming for will be rewarding. I hope so, because I don’t want their efforts to go to waste. And I don’t want to come to dislike it.

I can admit faults, ep4 is definitely a lowpoint even without knowing the alternatives. Just that for me, it is annoying little things and not the shocking deviations from the manga.

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#6 - Hope

I have hope though because Isabella’s stuff was good, and now that they’re over the no-return divergence point, they might be able to... (meta spoiler) not repurpose manga scenes without any buildup (is what I’m getting) anymore :”D, because they really only set themselves up for disappointed with that. It might seem like a homage but it’s moreso out of place, the people who read it aren’t happy because you didn’t earn it (and of course they’ll compare) and the anime suffers from it because it can create unnecessary confusion forced in just to make a reference.

Ironically I think they’re too stuck in the manga too and could have benefited from a blind perspective.

I don’t really mind anything overall I think (world is against them, that’s fair, being out on the run again is fine, the demon “rescue” is fine), the execution / some details of episode 4 were just... strange. idk where they are going with it and maybe that really was the best way to transition but until I know where it goes, I can’t really judge that. Highly doubt it though.

I really hope they completely just do their own things now with some base elements from the manga.

.

A lot of what I talked about in this post ended up making me appreciate the crumbs of intention. The realization that previous escapees didn’t make it (not all of them, anyway) and WM being dead, and then having that uplifting message. The message of “you don’t get to rest, you’re on your own again”. The irony of the wild demon being their (temporary) rescue. The past escapees.

Ironically, I wanted to dunk on the anime but really, all I feel is more content now. Would I have preferred some fixes? Yes, but I see some semblance of meaning in it even with the errors.

Thanks for reading this goddamn essay.

[howtosingit]

if ur ok with it can u break down the tarlos huggggg in the lst ep after tk tells evy1 abt his addiction? bc that gd huggggggg i wanna no every thing u think abt it i live for ur love for tarlos theyre just so so cuteeeee

IF I’M OKAY WITH IT?! Anon, I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this ask. I could literally talk about this hug for the rest of my existence. I would talk about this hug every second of every day if I could and never get tired or bored. This hug has owned my entire heart from the moment that it happened and I can never get enough of it. Brace yourself for this essay, and remember that you asked for it...

Okay, so before I get to the actual hug, I want to talk for a minute about why I love it so much and also how fantastic the scene is that comes before it. I’ll try to keep both of those brief (LOL). If you want to skip to the hug breakdown, I’ll give the sections titles. 

Why I Love This Hug

So, why do I love this hug so much? Honestly, because I never in a million years thought we’d get something like it, and it was a big turning point for me.

I have not been quiet about how disappointing I think season 1 was. Too much Owen being Owen, too much Iris plot (which never interested me for even a single moment, unfortunately), not enough of the other characters - specifically the characters of color - and definitely not enough Tarlos.

Following episode 3, the show established a really frustrating pattern with Tarlos: they either never interacted with one another, or there was a moment of them at the end of an episode where they were in the same place physically but never spoke directly to one another. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe the Tarlos talking drought between episodes 3 and 10 - and honestly? It’s bad writing. To focus on a ship for 3 episodes, giving them a lot of different nuances and conflict, and then do absolutely nothing with it? Stupid. So, going into the finale, my expectations were low. At that point, I was literally tuning in just to catch a glimpse of Carlos, with the expectation that that was all I would get. I really didn’t think I was going to watch the show after season 1. 

When the finale started with a Tarlos scene, I was honestly very surprised. But, then, of course, it was a “break up” scene, and I was like... well. So much for that. See, I fully expected, based on the trend throughout the later half of the season, that that would be the only Tarlos scene we would get, and that that is how they would end season 1. 

But when that camera cut to Carlos Reyes walking through the station door looking like a modern-day motherf*cking Prince Charming? I cried. I’m not ashamed to admit that. And then WHEN WE GOT THE HUG?! I can honestly still feel my heart pounding in my chest.

The finale didn’t fix everything for me; they still barely talk in their final two scenes. It’s not all perfect. But this hug, this small moment? THAT. IS. PERFECTION. (And I’m gonna go on and on about why in just a minute!)

Framing the Hug

I just want to take another moment here to chat about the entire fire station scene with TK and the team/Carlos because there’s a lot that informs why this hug is so freaking incredible. It has everything to do with the directing choices that were made - and boy were they good ones!

We all probably remember how the scene starts: extreme close-ups on TK as he sits waiting for the crew to come back. He’s anxious and possibly having a mild panic attack, and the camera is used to create that moment. Certain shots are out of focus, the shots that are focused are zoomed in to his mouth/hands/eyes, the sound is distorted, his breathing is isolated. It’s all super effective. 

So the observations that I make about this brief moment are: TK is stationary, the camera is basically attacking him. And TK is alone. Pretend for a moment that the camera is a character. The camera won’t leave him alone. No one is there to help him. His anxiety grows. 

(Even when the team joins him, the camera stays pretty close to him, except for one moment where it backs off but then approaches again. It continues to invade his personal space and his personal moments with his friends and his dad.)

Now, compare that to how the scene ends: TK walks away from the camera, the camera doesn’t follow him. It gives him space. His interaction with Carlos happens in the distance. If the camera is a character, TK defeated that character. He leaves it there, it no longer threatens him. I just really like that visual storytelling; that through the 4 minute scene, TK not only faces his demons, speaks his truth, and conquers his anxiety but he beats the camera and goes off to hug Carlos untethered. (He even bounces towards him, but we’ll get to that in a minute.) That doesn’t really have anything to do with the hug specifically, but I thought it was interesting anyway.

The other comparison that I want to make is a simple one, but it’s another reason why I love the hug: TK initiates it. He doesn’t initiate the group hug with his team (he actually almost says “we don’t have to do that” when Mateo moves towards him), though he obviously enjoys it. Owen initiates their hug, flinging himself at his son, and TK obviously appreciates it.

But the Carlos hug? TK approaches him, TK raises his arm to wrap around Carlos’s neck.

Okay, now to finally answer the original ask...

LET’S HUG IT OUT: THE BREAKDOWN THAT WAS ASKED FOR

First, can I just say from his first appearance to the end of this scene, Carlos is there for 20 seconds total and I am about to write a whole-ass essay about those 20 seconds?! I’m literal trash.

Okay, so Carlos appears looking like a fucking snack. He’s changed since the bus accident, looking like someone’s hot date, and I think we know whose... Owen is basically like “well this is unexpected” and honestly, same sir. TK is adorable and noncommittal, but clearly not surprised to see Carlos there. We’ve missed a moment between them since TK was sent to the hospital and Carlos called him impressive, that’s for sure. 

So when TK starts to walk towards him, the camera refocuses on Carlos and we see this adorable freaking look on his face that clearly says “how did it go?” or “all went well?” or something to that effect. I think Carlos knew what TK was doing at the station and he knew that it was a big deal for him, and I love that even before they are next to each other, he’s checking in to see how it went. He’s invested in TK’s well-being - as always - and he’s there to support him, both physically and emotionally. I COULD SCREAM.

In response to Carlos’s silent questioning, TK throws his head back and sighs. Like I said before, he seems to bounce towards Carlos, his body is pretty loose - his arms are swinging back and forth. This is a guy who just took a load off, and he’s relieved about having done so. The smile that Carlos gives him in answer says that he’s relieved too - that it went so well, that TK seems lighter. He might even be relieved that TK is being so much more open with him, clearly showing him his emotions. Their body language for this entire moment is very open, neither of them seem closed off. It truly does feel like, for the first time, they are meeting each other on equal footing, with all of their cards on the table before them. It’s such a different moment for them, certainly different than their body language during the boba date earlier in the episode.

I would be an absolute idiot if I did not pause and remark here how INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT IT IS that TK is the one that approaches Carlos. I’m not the first person to notice and say this, but Carlos “I hate being the one doing the chasing” Reyes stops just inside the door. He lets TK walk towards him. It’s such an interesting, nonverbal conversation between them. In this action, Carlos is saying “I’m here, but I’m still not going to force anything. You said you wanted space, so I’m giving it to you.” Sure, he comes to the station - but I would pay good money to bet that TK invited him there following some kind of conversation about what he was doing there - but he stays at the door. He’s cautious, but open. He wants something more with TK, but he’s not going to throw himself into it just to get hurt again. So, he waits. AND TK COMES TO HIM. TK leaves his own space and enters his. TK takes the final step. TK closes the gap. TK makes the big move, and they’re finally both right in front of each other, on the same wavelength. The find that solid ground from which they’ll build their relationship together. ISN’T IT JUST BEAUTIFUL?!

Seriously, kudos to Bradley Buecker for directing this episode with multiple levels of storytelling at play. It’s really great stuff.

OKAY, there’s a little Owen and Michelle moment, but then the camera finds Tarlos again. 

TK is standing in front of Carlos, they’re completely fixated on one another, their body language is just so fucking casual and comfortable I cannot stand it. See, the other hugs were all pretty intense: the team piles on top of TK, burying him, and Owen practically throws himself at TK, it’s a fairly hard hug for a man with an injured shoulder. But this hug? NOPE.

It’s so soft. It’s so gentle. TK raises his arm like he just can’t not wrap it around Carlos’s neck, like it’s the only way to be as close as possible to him and being as close as possible to him is all he wants in that moment.

What I really love about this hug is that it feels like two people who hug not because the moment is demanding it, not because they’re reuniting after a long time apart, not because they’re in a heightened state of emotion. 

These two hug like it’s just what they do, what they always want to be doing, like they don’t know how not to do it. The whole thing reads like “Hi, I’m TK and my arms belong around Carlos” and “Hi, I’m Carlos, and my arms belong around TK, what else would I be doing with them?” (It’s also the vibe I get from the club scene where they wrap their arms around each other.)

IT’S INTIMACY, Y’ALL.

Look, to be a Tarlos fan, I think you have to be willing to look at the relationship on two different levels, right? One is what they verbalize to each other, which is admittedly very little (season 2, come through). The other is the story that they tell through their body language. These two have seemingly always been on the same page physically. It just comes naturally to them, from the minute they first dance to their obviously very pleasing sex scene to the way they flirt in the bar to the club to Carlos at TK’s bedside. 

Their chemistry is made clear through how they physically relate to each other, and never is that more clear than in this hug that LITERALLY LASTS 2 SECONDS BUT CONTAINS MULTITUDES.

Okay, back to it... so TK strolls towards Carlos, Carlos waits for him - they symbolism is making me scream - TK raises his arm, it’s all super casual...

And then he just kind of literally falls into Carlos’s body, and Carlos basically just catches him. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT.

They don’t even speak but because they’ve had a nonverbal conversation with just those looks that I talked about, there’s just this understanding that TK needs to just collapse a little bit and he never for one second doubts that Carlos will hold him up. THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY DO.

OKAY OKAY OKAY now we’re going to break this down from head to toe.

Like, the way that their heads just rest against each other, TK pressing close - I can almost imagine that he breathes in the scent of Carlos’s shampoo, his nose is pressed right there in his curls. AND JUST IMAGINE HIS SMILE, I BET IT’S BLINDING.

I love that their heads kind of curve around each other kind of, perfectly Yin and Yang - like, from above they would totally look like that symbol.

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE ENTIRE THING: CARLOS FREAKING REYES NUZZLING INTO TYLER KENNEDY STRAND’S NECK, LIKE HE JUST SHOVES HIS FACE RIGHT IN THERE

THE NECK KISS MADE ME SCREAM SO FUCKING LOUD THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I COULD NOT HANDLE IT

First, it’s our first kiss since episode 2. 

Second, THE INTIMACY OF PRESSING A KISS TO SOMEONE’S NECK - LIKE THAT IS SUCH A SOFT PART OF YOUR BODY, THERE ARE TENDONS THERE, YOU CAN FEEL SOMEONE’S PULSE THERE - LIKE OH MY GOD

Nothing screams “I want to know every part of this man on a deep, committed level” than a fucking neck kiss, and Carlos Reyes just... he fucking does it. 

Okay but he really does bury his whole face in there like he wants to keep it there forever, I have truly never seen something so soft in my entire life. 

I’m so in love with them I could puke.

But like, that’s why this moment means so much to me, because I really do think that it’s a solidifying moment for both of them. 

For TK, it’s a “It’s okay if I stumble or fall because this man will catch me or help me up” thing

For Carlos, it’s “he wants me, he wants this, he’s taking literal steps towards this thing between us, and he encourages me to sink into him, he wants me to do that, he really wants this”

Like, fuck. 

Moving down... we gotta appreciate Carlos being mindful of TK’s shoulder, unlike literally everyone else who has hugged him. Like, he doesn’t even go anywhere near those stitches because there’s no fucking way he’s going to watch TK bleed out for the third time, nope.

And the way that Carlos just slides his arms around TK’s waist, pressing his palms into his lower back?! 

I think there’s a whole like, thing, where when a person’s hands are flat and open they’re like, open and vulnerable. So there’s just something about the way that Carlos presses both of his open palms against TK’s back that feels so open and vulnerable and honest to me.

Also, the way that he literally covers as much of TK’s back with his hands as possible? He doesn’t place his hands on top of one another, he stacks them along TK’s spine - he completely covers the entirety of his lower back. That’s a really vulnerable part of the human body, and Carlos instinctively protects it. AND TK LET’S HIM.

Okay, finally, down to their feet: TK really does collapse against Carlos, throwing himself on top of him and trusting that Carlos will keep him upright. All of his weight shifts to that forward momentum, he even goes up on the toes of his right foot. Carlos plants his feet, and as TK sways into him, he wraps him in his arms and gently centers them so that they don’t tip over to the ground.

He literally re-balances them. The two of them together find a balance with one another during this TWO-SECOND HUG. They shift, they steady themselves, they sink into one another.

It’s literally symbolic of them both being completely, 100%, without question, ready for the next phase of their relationship together.

They keep each other standing, and that’s fucking true love, y’all.

I honestly cannot wait for season 2. This hug and the final scene on the hood of Carlos’s car - with TK again making the move to embrace their relationship by physically reaching into Carlos’s space for his hand and dragging it into his own space, firmly opening the door to his heart to let him inside, while also settling Carlos’s hand between his own to let him know that he’s willing to protect him and his heart too - makes me believe that we are in for some truly wonderful romance with these boys. 

My heart will not stop screaming about it.

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 7: 5x03, 6x01

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

September 24, 2021

5x03: Free to Be You and Me

Written by: Jeremy Carver

Directed by: J. Miller Tobin

Original air date: September 24, 2009

Plot Synopsis:

Sam decides to stop hunting but has a hard time after he receives a surprise visit. Dean and Castiel try to find the Archangel Raphael in their bid to stop the Apocalypse.

Features:

“Personal space”, the tie fix and the badge flip, explicit substance abuse parallels that will be dropped when inconvenient to the plot, the infamous brothel scene, Raphael's lightning wings, God is an absent father, Sam as Lucifer’s vessel.

My Thoughts:

First multiple episode day!

CLASSIC EPISODE. I rewatched this one pretty recently but it’s fun to watch it in the context of stacked! Absolutely love that we get to watch Sam meet Lucifer for the first time immediately after watching Sam have his first hallucination of Lucifer in Meet the New Boss yesterday.

This is definitely one of the big Destiel episodes of the early seasons. I forgot that Dean buttoning up Cas’ shirt and fixing his tie, the upside down badge, and the entire brothel scene all happen in the same episode. WHAT a gift to me personally, thank you Jeremy Carver.

I have never once been able to watch the whole brothel scene without laughing out loud. The absolute desperate gay panic on Cas’ face the entire time is hysterical. The fact that Cas mentioned Chastity’s dad and her reaction was to scream like she was being stabbed to death. Hers being the first mention of absent fathers in an episode explicitly paralleling Dean and Cas’ relationship with their missing dads. Triangulation of desire between Dean, Cas, and Chastity if you squint hard enough (or at least in retrospect with November 5th being A Thing That Happened).

Cas’ little smile in the alley while Dean laughs is so precious, and correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s the first time we see that kind of expression on his face? He’s pretty stoic in season 4 from what I remember.

The two best portrayals of angel wings in this entire show are Cas’ first appearance and Raphael’s lightning wings in this episode. The whole Raphael scene has immaculate vibes. The lighting, the directing, the acting, all off the charts.

It’s so early in their relationship but Dean deciding that he has Cas’ back in his search for God. First instance of capital-F Faith that Dean has displayed. I cry.

Sam’s struggle to maintain his bodily autonomy is so tasty in this episode, it brings me back to my Samgirl days. It’s such a good narrative choice to have Lucifer so casually say he’ll bring him back to life if he kills himself right after he had demon blood literally forced into his mouth. Also, can we talk about the hypocrisy of Lucifer saying that he’ll never trick or lie to Sam when five minutes ago he was pretending to be Sam’s dead girlfriend? That’s fucked, dude.

I was finished writing this part and checking my quotes and the blocking notes after Dean and Cas’ last conversation in the transcript got to me: “DEAN looks over; the shotgun seat is empty. His smile falters.”

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You knew there was something dark inside of you. Deep down, maybe, but you knew. Maybe that's what got me killed. I was dead from the moment we said hello.”

“So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“When humans want something really, really bad, we lie.”

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch.”

“God? Didn’t you hear? He’s dead, Castiel. Dead.”

“Maybe one day. But today, you’re my little bitch.”

“I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.8

IMdB rating: 8.6

------------------------------------

6x01: Exile on Main St.

Written by: Sera Gamble

Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

Original air date: September 24, 2010

Plot Synopsis:

Sam is mysteriously released from Hell and seeks out his brother, who is trying to have a normal life. Together the brothers must join forces with their maternal grandfather, Samuel, and begin the fight anew.

Features:

Dean pretends to be a PTA dad, Dean almost kills a yorkie, the Campbell Family Business, an abrupt change in the djinn lore for plot convenience.

My Thoughts:

I know that Dean is a good liar because it’s a necessary part of being a hunter but it is almost tragic how easy it is for him to lie to Lisa and how easily she accepts it. I think she knows he's lying but just doesn't really care.

Obviously in this episode he isn’t actually happy but I still got super pissed halfway through thinking about how they’ve been telling us for TEN YEARS that what he really wanted was to settle down with a family and then. You know. Rebar.

Seeing him pull out John’s old leather jacket gave me visceral flashbacks (flash-forwards?) to Cas’ trenchcoat in the trunk of the Impala. He really just carries around the coats of people who have abandoned him, huh?

I remembered the salient points of this episode (Sam, the Campbells) but completely forgot what happened in the monster plot so the Azazel jumpscare got me, haha. Also fully forgot that Bobby had known Sam was alive and didn’t tell Dean and I felt so betrayed personally. So miserable for Dean that he got what he wanted and all it did was make him more unhappy. Watching this back-to-back with Free to Be You and Me was whiplash. He was so much happier hanging out with Cas hours away from almost certain death than he is with Lisa or when Sam comes back from the dead. They didn’t even hug!! Dean, that’s your brotherson! Come on!

I like the soulless Sam arc. He’s just off enough from previous seasons to be eerie but it isn’t overplayed. The Campbells are annoying as hell though. I know it’s on purpose and they’re supposed to be irritating but like. Stop microaggressing my favourite boy! Let him play golf!

This is kind of a bummer episode but the thing that made me saddest was watching his nightmare hallucination of Ben drinking Azazel’s blood and thinking “oh no, his biggest fear is losing another son to demon blood”. :(.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You wanted a family. You have for a long time, maybe the whole time.”

“My God, you have delicate features for a hunter.”

“I should've known that if I stayed with you that something would come, because something always does. But I was stupid and reckless and...You can't outrun your past.”

“You know, you had ancestors hacking the heads off vamps on the Mayflower.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.4

IMdB rating: 7.8

In Conclusion: Trying to find time to watch 2 episodes today was tricky. I am anticipating a lot of late nights in October and November when we hit 4 episodes a day regularly. RIP.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

[livlepretre]

Okay, for the ask I just sent in, on the topic of Elena’s friends not really loving her unconditionally or caring about her for her, Damon and Stefan both started caring about Elena simply because she looks like Katherine (also, how much danger do you think Elena was in the night she technically met Damon, being human and wearing Katherine’s face? It must have been terrifying in retrospect for her, knowing he didn’t love her then and she looked exactly like the woman he’d been obsessed with for over 100 years, but was human and compellable). Maybe they grew to care for Elena later, but it was always about Katherine at the start. When Damon forced Elena to shut off her humanity, Elena straight up didn’t give a fuck about any of them (love that for her) and actually demonstrated her anger at her friends, that she’d never shown them before. She tried to kill Caroline and Bonnie, and while she loved them with her humanity on, there was no denying that there had been some deep underlying issues there. She lost her brother, whom she loved more than anybody or anything else, and was pretty much her last tether to the girl she’d been at the start of everything. It’s Jeremy’s death that shatters her completely, because he’s the only person that would always be there for her. Jeremy wanted the cure for Elena, since he thought she wanted it and also because it probably would’ve been nice for him to not worry about killing her after he became a hunter (didn’t he become a hunter because Elena was suffering from the hunter’s curse and he wanted to save her from that?) Everyone else wanted the cure because they didn’t like vampire Elena and wanted her human and fragile again, or because they wanted her blood useful again. At the beginning of season 4, everyone’s telling Elena how to be a vampire, giving conflicting pieces of advice, and telling her that she’s doing it wrong, without really telling her how to do it right. She gets in from all sides then, and then she can’t really be around her brother, since he keeps trying to kill her (those two love each other so much, I could ramble forever, but their relationship slowly grows warped through out the show (~vampirism is a curse~). Elena has Damon compel him to get out of the city in an attempt to keep Jeremy safe from the vampires and hybrids surrounding her (her mere existence brought them to town. How much must she blame herself for what happens throughout the show?), Jeremy helped trap her in the house in season 2 when she wanted to surrender to Klaus, Jeremy drugs her in an attempt to get her out of Mystic Falls, they both fight against what they are to be around each other safely again. They love each other, but holy shit, do they do terrible things to each other. They know their love is so ingrained and reciprocated that the only way they’d leave the other is through outside forces, like drugging or compulsion). Then, Rebekah, who’s tried to kill her multiple times and then really did kill her, is the only person who accepts her without her humanity. Everyone else, who accepted Damon despite the shitty things he did without his humanity and the numerous murders he committed, decided they didn’t like her that way and wouldn’t be there for her until she got hers back (and yeah, everyone was going through shit in season 4, but the Salvatores really decided that even though they forced her to turn it off, they hated that she no longer cared about them, and wouldn’t accept her that way (does anyone honestly think they would’ve accepted if Elena decided she didn’t want either of them? Stefan might have, but Damon would’ve flipped his shit). They both did horrific things without their humanity, but Elena’s a bitch to her friends and kills one cheerleader, and she’s off the rails and needs to be stopped (this arc in TVD is otherwise called the hypocrisy arc)). The Salvatores legitimately torture Elena and murder one of her oldest friends to get her to turn her humanity on again. Elena should’ve never forgiven that, and should’ve just left Mystic Falls entirely

Not sure I agree with your general premise. Like, yeah, the Salvatores are initially interested in Elena because of her face... but does anyone really care about any particular stranger until they get to know them? They go pretty quickly from interest piqued to really caring about her in a genuine way (it's fucked up, but honestly I would not have watched the show if it weren't. they're vampires. it should be fucked up). I would have a bigger problem with the show's premise if she were just some random teenager who grabbed their interest, because then it would be a question of why. What could possibly make Elena special enough to avoid getting casually eaten and forgotten about like every other random teenager on the show? The doppelganger thing at least gives us a plausible explanation for how they could get so entangled.

As for Jeremy, I agree with you that they do love each other and look out for each other in an entirely different way from the others, but it's also overlooking the fact that they're brother and sister. Of course they do. Anyone who is lucky enough to be really close with a brother or sister knows that there is literally no other bond like it. That's the kind of love you burn the world down for, that you would die for. One of the things that tvd does best is convey the depth of that particular bond, and the fact that it has the power to supersede every other kind of bond. It would be preposterous to imagine that Jeremy isn't ultimately the person Elena loves the very most. No friendship, no matter how deep, can touch that.

As for the vampire thing, I don't really have a problem with everyone being selfish about not wanting Elena to be a monster. The Salvatores are selfish. It's what I love about them. And it is disturbing when Elena kills that waitress. What are her friends supposed to do... let her go on a killing spree? The show was definitely going for some sort of storyline about going off the rails with depression and grief and anger, they just did it kind of poorly. I would have loved for Elena to go completely dark as a vampire, then to have the cure thrust upon her, the clarity of her humanity restored, and for her to have to live with what she did as a vampire. That would have been a great way to build on and maybe even conclude the arc of Elena's moral decay which we see developed throughout the early seasons.

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Ranking every Teen Drama I have ever watched

(Updated)

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

+ young Shailene Woodley and Molly Ringwald I guess

- everything else. Even Shailene Woodley's and Molly Ringwald's performances weren't that great because the writing is just oh so bad. The background music is bland and repetative and it sounds like out of some teenager's YouTube chanel. The plotlines are ridiculous and convoluted, which isn't neccessarily such a bad thing, because it is a teen drama show after all, the problem is the show seems to take itself too seriously. Other entries on this list also have ridiculously convoluted plotlines, but I'm ranking them highed because they don't take themselves too seriously and don't claim to be realistic like this show does. Seriously, from the title it suggests like this was going to be a real, uncensored look into high school but it's the furthest thing from it. Not to mention how problematic it is- God forbid someone suggests that a 14-year-old pregnant girl gets an abortion or gives the baby up for adoption without being seen as a terrible and despicable person.

Otp: Marc Molina x a job somewhere far, far away from these kids

Notps: every single pairing on this show

Best moment: literally none

Weirdest moment: "I'm such a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." What were the writers thinking??? Was this supposed to be romantic??

We Children From Zoo Station

+the aesthetic, the casting of Christiane, Detlef and Axel

-this was such a letdown. Honestly I was so hyped for it after seeing the trailer since I've read the book and didn't particularly like the movie- I feel like it's hard to fit all of Christiane's story into 90 minutes. That's why I was so excited about this show. Christiane's story covers so much, so it's easier to make it into a TV show when you don't want to ommit anything and butcher the story. But they somehow managed to do it anyway. They changed so much for no reason and completely erased Christiane's childhood trauma, which was important in the book. Now, I know you can say that it's just a loose adaptation, so it doesn't have to follow the book word for word. But I feel like if you already decided to tell her- a real person's story- you should at least do it authentically. Imo they shouldn't have tried to make the setting vague. It worked with Sex Education because the story of Sex Education is timeless. However, Christiane's story is not timeless. It's a true story set in the 1970s. If they were making a new show from scratch, I would have liked it. But this is an already existing story and they’re supposed to be just retelling it. My last issue is a nit pick but I wish the actresses playing Stella and Babsi were reversed. It just would've fit better.

Otps: all those kids x sobriety

Notp: Christiane x Detlef

Best moment: Christiane's first time in Sound was pretty true to the book

Weirdest moment: when Detlef became a gigolo because he needed money for his dog. Who tf thought of that?

Pretty Little Liars

+ makeup, style, the theme song, the drama and mystery that always kept me guessing, the cliffhangers at the end of each episode that made it so addictive, Emily's coming out story, Hanna and Spencer had some good lines

- the mishandling of some serious issues (namely eating disorders), romantization of student-teacher relationship, the timeline not making much sense, these writers seem to put more thought into the characters' outfits than the storylines

Otps: Emily x Maya, Hanna x Caleb

Notp: Ezria

Best moment: Hanna and Caleb in the shower (the sexual tension was cuttable with a knife)

Weirdest moments: Aria asking Ezra out in the middle of a make-up test (it was supposed to be cute but it was just cringy), Spencer trying to block A's text messages on a laptop, in the middle of a park (what? Spencer, you were supposed to be the smart one!)

One Tree Hill

+ Brooke, the theme song, Chad Michael Murray

- the casual drinking and driving (I mean seriously these kids play a drinking game at a party and then casually hop into a car and drive home??), too much basketball and cheerleading (that's not a bad thing per se but I just don't really care about neither of these things), it just seems too stereotypical and kinda bland?? I couldn't really get into it

Otp: Naley

Notp: Peyton x Nathan

Best moment: Naley by the dock

Weirdest moment: "I guess I'm just a riddle, wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch." It's not really a bad moment but a cringy line. I guess the writers though they were being clever but it just sounded bad.

Dawson's Creek

+ the clothes, the 90s aesthetic, the 90s soundtrack, many movie references, Pacey is a sweetheart, Jen is a feminist icon, dealing with mental health issues through Andie (it's rare to see in shows as old as this)

- the slutshaming of Jen really hasn't aged well, the storyline of Pacey being statury raped by his much older teacher was mishandled (it was either treated as scandalous, cool or in Andie’s case somehow shameful), same goes for Jen’s backstory- it was mentioned she was raped at 12 by an older man and then never brought up again, Dawson is the most unlikable protagonist ever and his friendship/relationship with Joey is codependent and possessive, the dialogue is sometimes pretentious and unrealistic, the timeline doesn't really add up- I can never tell what time of the year it's supposed to be, because it looks like it's always fall for some reason. And how did they sophomore year have two homecomings?

Otps: Pacey x Andie, Pacey x Joey (yes, both at the same time)

Notp: Dawson x Joey

Best moments: Jen helping Joey when that jerk was spreading rumours about her and then Jen and Joey locking Abby in the closet together (I love it when they stick together instead of tearing each other down), Pacey and Joey bickering

Weirdest moments: when Joey was upset because Dawson didn’t want to tell her how often he “walks his dog”, when Jen was about to have a treesome at a party and Dawson walked into the room and carried her out despite her kicking and screaming

Glee

+ funny, Sue Sylvester's iconic, great covers and a way to find new songs, the performances are aesthetically pleasing, lgbtq+ representation, tackling of serious issues, coming out story, a father who’s accepting of his son’s sexuality right away despite not really understanding it (it’s so rare to see, that’s why it’s so refreshing), the plotlines are ridiculous but at least the show doesn't take itself too seriously

-as I already said the 1st season was great but after that it just seemed like the writers made up a checklist of hard issues they should tackle and tried to tackle every single one of them while covering every single song and it just fell flat. Prime example- Quinn ending up in a wheelchair getting into a car crash to warn us from drinking and driving, singing I’m Still Standing and then suddenly being able to walk normally after. a few episodes Rachel and Finn got almost all songs, while other characters were criminally underrated and underused (Tina, Quinn, Mercedes). The teachers are questionable to put it mildly. Cringy moments- Finn singing You're Having My Baby to Quinn in front of her parents when it wasn't even his baby! Also no one except of Kurt looks like they could be in high school. And why are these cheerleaders wearing their uniforms 24/7??

Otps: Brittana, Sam x Quinn, Tina x Artie (unpopular opinion, I know), Mr Schue x unemployment

Notp: Quinn x Finn

Best moments: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody

Weirdest moment: Rachel's gross and painfully awkward crush on Mr Schue, Mr Schue joining the Glee club on the stage for a performance of Toxic and girls in the audience cat calling him (Ewww)

Euphoria

+ Zendaya's and Jacob Elordi's performances, tackling of serious issues such as drug addiction and overdose, anxiety and depression, abusive relationships and abortion in a better manner than most (if not all) teen dramas, the aesthetics, makeup and wardrobe, the musical number in the finale, the special episodes giving us insight into the characters' psychology, toxic relationships not being romanticized (which is sadly rare), teenagers sounding like actual real life teens (no "I reject reality" crap)

- lack of comic relief (why so serious all the time), sexualization of teen characters (I know this is something many teen dramas are guilty of but it's the most evident here), too much nudity (I know some of you are going to come at me with: "But it's realistic!" So what? It is realitic that teenagers get naked when they go into shower but does it mean we have to see it?? It seems to me like this show is trying too hard to be "boundary pushing" at times and ends up being scandalous just for the sake of being scandalous), these characters just aren't believable as high school juniors to me (they sound like high schoolers but they certainly don’t act, look or dress that way). There's no reason this show couldn't have been set in college.

Otps: Rue x sobriety, Nate x prison

Notps: Nate x Maddy, Cassie x McKay

Best moments: "You did this to me!" and the musical number in the season 1 finale

Weirdest moment: the fact that Maddy lost her virginity at 14 to a 40-year-old man being mentioned so casually because apparently she was "totally in control". Excuse me what??

Skins

+ style and makeup- each character has a signature trademark (Sid and his beanie, Effy's eyeliner, Cassie's soft eyeshadow), their British accents, I'm pretty sure this is the only teen drama that follows multiple classes, teenage characters being played by actual teen actors, the characters looking like average people you meet in high school and not as if they just walked off the runway, dealing with serious issues such as drug abuse, eating disorder, parental abandonment etc (yes, some people claim the show romanticized it, but I disagree. It's not the show that romanticized it- it's the fans. The show tried to portray the dangers of drugs as well as possible. Think about it- every time characters used drugs it ended in a disaster. In the pilot they thought that Cassie overdosed and ended up crashing a car while rushing into the hospital. In later season Effy hit her friend in the head with a rock because she was having a bad trip. That's not romanticizing drugs.), Effy is iconic and honestly the first episode was enough to get me hooked

- every single teacher being a creep and having a thing for a student at some point, the show can get too dark and unncessarily dramatic at times. Did that many people have to die? Did Chris's death really have to be this graphic? Timeline doesn't really add up- are 8 episodes supposed to cover the whole year? It would've made more sense if there were more episodes in a season.

Otps: Chris x Jal, Emily x Naomi

Notps: Sid x Michelle

Best moment: ooh baby it's a wild world

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

The OC

+ more grounded in reality than many others on this list, the theme song, the love stories, Seth and Summer are funny, the friendships are believable and the whole group has great chemistry

- too many unneccessary fights, Luke is the worst, everyone is way too casual about drunk driving, these parents are WAAAY too chill (I know this can be said about many teen dramas but it's the most obvious here. How did the Roberts and the Coopers let two 16-year-old girls go to Mexico alone?? With no supervision?? What?)

Otps: Seth x Summer, Ryan x Marissa

Notp: Luke x Marissa

Best moments: the “oh no, there’s only one bed” in the Mexico episode, Seth and Summer's first kiss and that kiss at the yacht, Ryan and Marissa's first date by the pool

Weirdest moment: these parents letting their teenage kids go to Mexico alone. It's irresponsible when they're 16 but apparently they let them go there and party every year. What?

Gossip Girl

+ every episode having a clever title, the style, the makeup, the 00s soundtrack, the glamour of it all (it feels like reading a very gossipy magazine!), all the scandals, this show never pretends to portray the realitic teenage experience so it can pretty much be as far-fetched as it wants to and you can’t question it, it gives you a chance to live the fantasy of being super rich, living with a penthouse, riding a limo to school and going to parties in New York City every night

- the final reveal doesn't make any sense, just like with PLL these writers seemed to have put more thought into the outfits and makeup than into the plotlines, romantization of a toxic relationship, having every two straight characters date or hook up at some point, which just felt forced, mishandling of serious issues (Blair's eating disorder, Eric's suicide attempt and Serena and Jenny's sexual assault from the pilot being brought up when it's convenient but not really dealt with and brushed off at other times), sexualization of teen characters

Otps: Dan x Blair, Serena x Nate

Notps: Chuck x Blair

Best moments: the Thanksgiving flashbacks, Blair and Serena running around New York and taking selfies in stolen dresses, Nate and Serena’s first time (although it was better in the books) and then their kiss at the white party, the sheer scandal of "I killed someone", Dan giving Blair a plastic tiara to make her feel like a princess

Weirdest moments: Chuck's father returning from the death and then dying again, by yeeting himself off the roof

Freaks and Geeks

+ probably the most realistic teen drama there is, the characters dress the way I can see actual teens dressing, funny, but also heatbreaking at times, probably the only teen show that included an intersex character, the characters being a little stereotypical but self-aware at least, young James Franco and Jason Segel

- the bullying being a bit too much at times and it's a bit unrealistic that the teachers would do literally nothing about it, too short- I will never understand why this got cancelled

Otps: Daniel x Kim, Lindsay x Nick, Amy x Ken

Notps: Sam x Cindy

Best moments: Sam breaking down at the end of Garage Door, Daniel and Kim getting back together in the rain

Weirdest moment: Cindy doing a 180 and becoming super mean when she started dating Sam.

Gilmore Girls

+ so many movie, literary and music references, the quotable lines (what a great way to learn about new movies, books and bands! It’s so unique for a TV show to make you smarter), the witty banter, the comfort of the first few seasons (it really feels like wrapping a warm blanket around yourself while holding a hot cup of coffee, I can’t explain why, but it’s such a comfort show), the quirky small town with many unique festivals, many entertaining and snappy fights where everyone has a point, characters dealing with real world problems (seriously, how often do you see a storyline about termites? Or a teenager with zit cream on a teen drama show?), this is also one of the few shows where teenagers are shown to have rules and restrictions and curfews (finally some kids growing up with strict parents representation) and doing homework and studying and not just partying and drinking and having sex all the time and that’s so refreshing

- but while it is refreshing to see teenagers waiting to have sex and not doing it behind every corner, the show is kind of sex negative. Every single time a (female) character loses her virginity it ends in a disaster. Even when she loses it after she’s married! It doesn’t make any sense, unless the writers just really hated women. Also slutshaming (”I got the good kid!”) ewww. The money and budget doesn’t make much sense on the show either and the girls seem immune to calories. I know some people might come at me for this with: “But it’s just a show!” but I think it’s harmful to show beautiful, thin women eat nothing but tons of junkfood all the time and never excersize and then fatshame people who do excersize but aren’t fortunate enough to be blessed with amazing Gilmore genes, and then throw around tactless references to eating disorders.

Otps: Lane x Dave, Jess x Rory

Notps: Lane x Zach, Rory x Dean, Lorelai x Christopher

Best moments: Then She Appeared, Rory’s valedictorian speech, Lorelai’s graduation

Weirdest moment: Lorelai and Christopher getting married in Paris at 4am. That’s not how it works in Europe. Do Americans think every single Europian country works like Las Vegas, where you can just get married whenever you decide??

[kaypeace21]

i LOVE your analysis especially byler ones so please don't take this as hate, it's the last thing i want to do. but while i love the byler theories do you actually think the duffers are smart enough to realize the potential/brave enough to follow through on the relationship. bc tbh i think our viewpoint is skewed i don't think anyone but byler shippers see the canon possibility. and also it really seems like m/leven is going to be endgame? just wanted to know more of your thought process

Even if byler never happens- I’m 100% sure mileven won’t be endgame XD. Regardless of byler, Mike and El are just not going to happen. (Even if they’re ‘dating’ in s4). I could try to explain the reasons why I think byler will be endgame though. I’ll give the cliffnotes version. This will probably be a mess- because focusing on all the reasons isn’t as good as analyzing , each reason as it’s own separate post, in depth). 

Why mileven isn’t endgame

- The duffers said, while filming ST, El was supposed to die in s1 (glad that didn’t happen). And this was also their plan when pitching their show ‘Montauk’ (later retitled ST), saying that the hypothetical  s2 sequel would be about the boys returning to their town 10 years later. Mileven was never ‘planned end-game’. They also describe mileven kissing but never mention the word ‘love’ like how Jancy was described in the Montauk pitch. Nancy’s bio says “ she will experience love for the first time.”  But when they describe mileven, they say, “If Mike is the Elliot of our show, Eleven is our “E.T.” Like that’s … not romantic, Duffers. And if it was supposed to be … WTF did you guys watch the same film? 0-O

- In the byler centric s2, the Duffers kept mileven separated. And the mileven kiss wasn’t written in the show. Millie pretty much said “they had to do it.” Much to Matt’s confusion but then the Duffers agreed. And used ‘every breath you take’ (a song about divorce), and just by coincidence their 2nd back-up  song was also a song about a divorce? Nah, they were trolling.

- Most of the women (Nancy & Max) in the show critique Mileven saying Mike treats her as if she’s stupid, can’t take care of herself, or as she is a possession. 

-in the first ep of s3 almost all the guys (who had/have gfs) Hopper, Lucas, and Dustin all criticize the mileven relationship and think it’s unhealthy.

Hopper says “ They’re spending entirely too much time together… It is constant.It is constant! Okay? That is not normal, that is not healthy! ”

Lucas mocks Mike, saying “ Oh El, I wish we could make out forever and never hang out with any of our friends.”

Dustin says when they flake on him, “It’s bullshit, I just got home!” (insert Nancy calling Stancy ‘bullshit’)

and before this  Dustin talks about Romeo & Juliet (while mileven is out of frame). R&J is all about the dangers of not knowing the difference between love and infatuation. Juliet after Romeo is banished just complains about how in love/sad she is but never pursues looking for him (sound familiar)? R&J claimed that they were in love with each other after knowing each for a few days and deciding to get married-sabotaging the closest relationships they had with their friends/family (all in the name of ‘true love’) . Similarly Mileven thought they were in love after only a week of knowing each other, and the second they are reunited they start dating and spend all their time with each other. El is allowed out of the house (and her friends are allowed to visit), but El hasn’t interacted with Max nor Will? They spend almost everyday in her room just making out. Mike puts very little effort into integrating her into his life or as part of the group. The only time they go out- is for Mike to show off El to Dustin like a possession- then before El can even do the boding activity with the group (with the radio tower)- Mike convinces her to leave to make out. They are both complicit in this and they both bring out the worst in each other and they make each other blinded to their loved ones’ feelings.

- El literally asks Max “How do I know what I like?” Do I have to explain why this could be problematic? She even says “I don’t know”, when Max asks if Mike is a good kisser.You can call me ‘ableist’ my abused-autistic ass will disagree. But El is not ready for a romantic relationship! it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of romantic, platonic, and familial love- when the first 12 years of her life she didn’t receive any form of love , PERIOD! And she is not like normal abuse victims (she has never had proper socialization with peers her own age or even adults).All she had was television. She latches herself on to anyone who is kind to her (something I used to do). Without Mike she used Max as a replacement almost immediately, and even starts repeating/mirroring the things she says (specifically coping phrases from her …over 6 times!). She’s also susceptible to doing what others say or want her to do, “dumping his ass” (with Max’s validation and encouragement). El might love Mike but I don’t think it’s romantic, she latched on to the first person that was kind to her. Before their first kiss she asked Mike “Will you be like my brother?” And she’s hurt when he says “no”, asking “Why not?”. He then kisses her (she watches a lot of soap operas and she assumes it must be ‘romantic love’). You’re telling me that if she was ‘in love’ with Mike she would have been that happy over dumping him? I’m not saying El is dumb for not being able to discern these things (I think people without such backgrounds may still struggle with this concept). But it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of various loves or even the differences between ‘crushes’ , ‘physical attraction’ and ‘romantic love’ 

- In the last ep El asks about what he said at the cabin to Max, specifying “you talked about your feelings?”. He says and I QUOTE “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head. Then he excuses what he said at the cabin, saying it was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing… I don’t actually remember. What did I say exactly?”  

Now either he legitimately forgot! Or he lied! You know the thing that broke them up in the first place! The one thing that El holds as her most important value in life- honesty. And he lied- about something as important as his romantic feelings?!  Make up any excuse (about being shy/character flaws all you want), but this isn’t real life- it’s fiction (everything is done for a narrative purpose). That wasn’t an accident ( mileven wasn’t “written out of character”- like milevens claim,  the duffers were criticizing the ship on purpose) .And the fact he lied again! Wouldn’t bode well for a long term relation with each other. The whole season, criticized their romantic relationship ! That wasn’t a coincidence neither was the fact he looked confused by her confession, and kept his eyes open the whole time and didn’t kiss her back . 

And as she smiled and walked away, he looked confused. That wasn’t a directing mistake, like so many milevens are claiming! You really think they wouldn’t make sure their ‘fav ship’ didn’t have a good final kiss? 

 Especially since it was right after a romantic Jancy scene (which was directed amazingly)- where Nancy even mentions Mileven- to make us compare the 2 pairings romantic scenes even more. 

* I know I sound like an assh*le but I’m just annoyed. I’ve always censored my byler posts trying not to offend/criticize mileven. I never cross tagged my byler meta with the hashtag mileven (never will, cause it’s rude). But (without sounding pompous) my byler posts generally gets reblogged a lot- and now the milevens have seen my posts (and are sending lots of hate my way) and worst of all they’ve invaded the byler tag. Today I saw 2 posts in the byler tag saying. “We’re delusional” and “stupid”- and also in the same posts they say they “feel attacked” by us.Um… there’s a difference between byler shippers privately criticizing a ship without bothering mileven shippers (and only tagging it byler) . Versus Mileven shippers  tagging things byler (and ranting about the ship and it’s shippers). Loved the comment about how Mike can’t be bi cause “he loves El too much”.I think Mike is probably gay and in denial. But, um that’s not how being bi works- didn’t know  bi people love women and men ½ as much as the gays/straights. Thanks for informing me (rolls eyes for eternity).So kid-gloves off, nothing left to lose! Time to compare the ships.

‘The breakup’ vs ‘fight’ parallel

comedic vs dramatic! The casual sunny day vs the dramatic framing of the storm (a romantic trope) . The ‘break-up’ being a scene with multiple onlookers vs the fight being with Will and Mike only (making it more personal/intimate).  ‘Cold as ice’ playing after the mileven breakup vs the sad instrumentals playing during the byler fight. The comedic after-math at the mall. El and Max laughing, and another joke being made as the bus leaves.El’s happiness vs Will’s heartbreak.

Mike’s drastically different expressions after their fights. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him.  The fact Mike apologized right away more than once to Will, and ran into a storm to apologize a 2nd time. But with El he just lies to cover up the first lie, and then after the break-up he just complains/lounges on the couch (not taking any responsibility). He literally says about El “Why is she treating me this way? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong?”.( He lied and made her feel “like garbage”!) Then he burps and laughs about chips- and makes sexist comments. Neither EL nor Mike are heartbroken by the breakup.

But when he angers Will (by him trying to finish the game early), he immediately tries to de-escalate saying softly “I was just joking- c’mon, let’s finish the game”. But when Will just yells back (much to Mike’s confusion) he doesn’t dismiss his feelings as irrational (like he wrongfully did to El) but chases him to the garage-  and begs him to stay since it’s raining.

In the garage, Mike immediately apologizes saying “I said I was sorry, alright. It was a cool campaign.” But after this, they fight and Mike runs into a storm to apologize a second time , and says to Will’s door “ WILL! I’m sorry I was being an asshole. Can you just come outside and we’ll talk? WILL!” He immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. And he’s desperate to resolve things. And when they find him outside castle Byers he just asks  (Mike’s catchphrase) “Will, Are you ok?”

Shed scene ( “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “the most important thing in the world to me”) parallel

When Mike says to El  “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). She completely ignores his words, and responds by asking him about his previous comments. Asking whether Hopper was right about them spending too much time together.

I didn’t edit (or delete any scene after his proclamation) this is how fast it was delivered ! The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition. And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ she should spend time with her own species.” And if this ‘romantic moment’ wasn’t already undermined enough. This is when Mike realizes she was spying on him , and feels wrongfully violated (something she doesn’t apologize for,  saying “I make my own rules” . He even brings this up in a later episode (this clearly bothered him)!

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. Mike being in the back drop of darkness only his face being illuminated (having him appear like a guiding light to Will). Saying “ I felt so alone and  so scared… but you were alone too” (alone together/crazy together) .  He then talks about asking Will to be his friend, and then he pauses and breaks eye contact , before looking him in the eye and smiling (lost in the memory) saying softly “you said yes, you said yes.” (cough like saying yes at a wedding).

So, after he says “you said yes, you said yes.” It’s important to mention that he takes a deep breath and breaks eye contact again, (looking down and to the side) as he says this line. Subconsciously, I believe he knows this line is romantic and he’s too afraid to say it to his face. Only flicking his eyes up to look at Will  after he finishes the entire sentence, and to gauge Will’s reaction.

This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is  Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.

“ Blank makes you Crazy” vs “ Crazy Together parallel

When Mike tries to confess his “love” to El he says “Well they do say it makes you crazy”… much to El’s confusion.He has to try to explain it a second time to El- who just gets even more confused, by his ‘confession’. Saying “you never heard that expression? Like blank makes you crazy … like the word (love)?”

But when Mike says he “feels like he’s going crazy” Will immediately responds with “Me too”. Mike even smiles at the comment. So that moment in s2 means more than we think, when Mike (with tears in his eyes) smiles at Will’s comment and asks them to go “crazy together”.And when Will responds back “yeah, crazy together” (who also has tears in his eyes). They even linger on the moment as they just smile and stare at each other.

Mike is in denial, and may not even realize he loves Will, but he knows subconsciously that he does. He heard the phrase “love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”, 100′s of times and that’s why he said that phrase to Will. And why it made him so happy when Will reciprocated , by saying “ yeah. crazy together.” In addition to why we see them both go from happy, to immediately upset over the conversation.The scene was already romantically coded in s2 (but the scene in s3 re-contextualizes the whole thing) . Mike thinks “love makes you crazy” , and he asked Will to go ‘crazy together’ with him. And When Will is at castle byers looking at the Halloween pic of the 2 the day Mike said that, Will cries and calls himself “stupid” (4x). Can’t get more obvious… Like look what the duffers did! 

El and Will’s opinions on Mike (Parallels)

-When asked if Mike was a good kisser,  she just said “I don’t know he’s my 1st boyfriend.” (implying she’s thinking, at least subconsciously, of having other boyfriends ,who are not Mike in the future).  But when Mike pretty much asks’ if Will thought they’d never get girlfriends, and spend the rest of their lives with each other’.Will just sadly responds “yeah, I guess I did. I really did!” Unlike, El, Will always saw Mike as his future, his forever.

-And when Mike says “it’s just a break” , Max says “No it’s not!”, and we see El laugh along with Max’s comment. She is not heartbroken at the idea of never getting back together with him, romantically. Right after they break up she was laughing, reading comics, and playing games with Max.

But Will is devastated over the fight! And out of all the memories in Castle Byers it’s the Ghostbusters photo from Halloween that causes Will to pick up the bat and start destroying everything. That was the night that Mike agreed to go “crazy together” with him. He tears it in ½ right in the center where Mike and Will are. He was so stupid to think it meant anything. The “crazy together” scene, that Mike initiated in s2 was always meant to be romantic. Not only because of Will’s reaction to the photo in s3, but because Mike in s3 says “They do say it makes you crazy…blank makes you crazy.”  Which is exactly what happens to Will, as he has his breakdown.Castle byers was built on a rainy night , the same day Will’s dad left, when Will was 5 (the same age he met Mike). And lonnie called him a “queer” and a “f*g” and forced him to do “normal things” like baseball to have him “be more of a man”. And then on a rainy night, after Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”… what does Will destroy castle byers with? A baseball bat! The fact Will has a baseball bat (despite in s1 saying he does not like baseball) in Castle Byers, surrounded by things he loves: drawings, d&d, art supplies, a microscope, comics- just shows what an impact Lonnie’s problematic conditioning and abandonment had on him. He used a baseball bat to destroy something he loves -castle Byers, and symbolically he was trying to reject his feelings for Mike using Lonnie’s old tactics of fixing him.

- Also, El doesn’t even seem to appreciate when Mike acts like his true self (goofy/like a kid). She laughs when Max complains he talks too much. Rolls his at his jokes with the cpr-dummy, covers his mouth and tells him to stop when he tries to joke and sing, ignores him when he gets excited about talking about dinosaurs. Which relates to my next point

The only characters who’s character bios focus on ‘escaping’ through d&d is Mike and Will.

Will in the Montauk pitch was described as having “sexual identity issues… LIKE MIKE , Will ESCAPES through fantasy gaming where he can be himself, uninhibited.” Like what is Mike escaping from… being a nerd? Because they could of said ‘like his friends’. And no it’s not because they’re best friends- they even specifIed in Lucas bio he’s “ Mike’s best friend” (which was even mentioned in s1).

.In Mike’s character description it says “ bullying and near-crippling insecurity. He has never had a first kiss, much less a girlfriend.He ESCAPES his insecurities through reading fantasy novels … retreating into his own vivid imagination. The Dungeon Master of his Dungeons and Dragons group, he writes sprawling adventures with fantastical monsters.When he finds himself on a real adventure, facing real monsters, he will discover a courage he didn’t know he had. By the end, he will even kiss a girl.”

*Interesting that Mike uses D&D  to escape his insecurities about not having a gf (retreating into his imagination). While Will (who is somewhat aware of his sexuality) uses d&d to escape and be himself uninhibited. They’re foils in a sense- using d&d for opposing reasons.

So the s3 fight about d&d games has a lot more meaning 

Mike equates heterosexual romance with ‘growing up’ and his feeling for Will as something childish he has to grow out of.When they fight over d&d. Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”, then he tries to ½ apologize only to say, “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Ok? But We’re not kids anymore.” He pretty much explains, this is just the way things are-boys fall in love with girls, get girlfriends, and that’s just a part of growing up (heteronormativity).  And tells Will “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will who is probably more aware of his feelings just responds. “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.” And after this Mike rushes to Will’s house and apologizes saying he was an “asshole.”When he tries to say he loves El . It was very forced. He can’t even use the world love or explain his feelings, “A feeling … yeah, like, something… like OLD PEOPLE say it sometimes”.

He can’t even describe love and what his “feelings” entail for El , he then says  “Yeah, like something , like old people say it some times. He doesn’t even say it back in the last ep, when she confesses. It’s all talk, but no feeling, it’s just a part of becoming an adult in Mike’s mind.

In the last ep before the mileven kiss, he even invites both El and Will over for Christmas saying “ And Will too… we could all have new presents to play with and… *scoffs* Sorry, that made me sound like a 7 year old...  ”

And it’s implied in the last ep (before the mileven kiss),  because of the 3 month breakup Mike is back to liking d &d. When Mike sees Will put his own d&d book in the donation box he stops him.

Mike: “WHOA, dude that’s the donation box.”

Will: “ I know, I’ll just use yours,  when I come back. (pause) if WE still want to play?”

So then Mike asks, shyly …

Mike : “Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?” (cough- girls , the other ‘species’, or just someone else: girl, guy or otherwise)

Will: “Not possible.” (Will will always love Mike- insert Mikes immediate heart-eye reaction to this comment).

I think people don’t notice what the subtext is here- regardless of his intentions, Mike broke Will’s heart. He made him feel “stupid” for ever thinking he ever had a chance with Mike. He always saw Mike as his forever, but Mike shot any hopes of that down in the garage. Will doesn’t trust his own instincts. Mike could straight up flirt with him in s4/5- and Will would dismiss it as his imagination. He essentially said ‘he’ll always love Mike- but if something is going to happen. It’s up to Mike to initiate it’.

Mike was queer coded since ep 1 (and he’s more queer coded than Will)!

 I LITERALLY thought (in s1) Mike was queer before Will!

- 3 rainbow references. Mike in s1 in his basement has a red heart being propelled by a rainbow sign. We see this again in s3 as a drawing. Mike also stands next to Will behind a rainbow apple poster in s2. Forbidden fruit + rainbow = queer forbidden romance. Also the apple poster was in the AV Club and at that time the rainbow apple-mac sign was suspected to be in reference to for Alan Turning (the gay ‘father of computers’).

In s1:

- 4 separate characters said El looked like a boy, but Mike doesn’t care! Even one of the men thought El might be the missing ‘Byers boy’. When El loses her wig , Troy said “she doesn’t even look like a girl” to the cops. But Mike just calls her “really pretty”

-Nancy says “I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was because of Will” And Mike responds “I thought you were acting weird too I thought it was because of Steve … Do you like Jonathan now”?” Nancy: “No, do you like Eleven?”. They literally compared the explicit love triangle between Steve/Nancy/Jonathan to the Will-Mike-El dynamic!

- Mike literally uses gender inclusive pronouns when talking about crushes using the word “someone” (3 times), and embarrassing himself because he can’t articulate the difference between friendship and romance. When he could of simply given the 80s heteronormative  answer of ‘when a boy likes a girl’.

Mike: “ you go to school dances with someone.

You know someone that you like”

El: “a friend?”

Mike: ‘not a friend uh … uh someone like a” (gives up and kisses her)

-Mike’s mom said “ What’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just … want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to HIDE anything from me” (she even emphasizes the word ‘hide”  (which is heavily queer coded)

- when Will ‘dies’, “we can be heroes” by David bowie (a bisexual singer) plays,   “And we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame” is the lyric that plays when Mike returns to his house and cries in his mother’s arms over the ‘death’ of Will. Do I have to explain how ‘kissing and shame’ are queer-coded . And how such a lyric is oddly romantic- if we’re supposed to see their bond as nothing but platonic XD

-his dad jokes “Absolutely not” *turns to wife* “our son with a girl?”.

- when Lucas makes fun of his crush on EL, Lucas gets down on one knee  and says “ I love you so much, will you marry me?” and literally 1s later, we’re introduced to the bullies and the idea (for the first time) that Will is ‘gay’, and Mike is in the forefront of the scene and unlike his friends he is THE ONLY ONE physically assaulted as they cause him to fall face first into a rock (like a gay-bashing) .  They leave Lucas and Dustin unharmed. Even though Lucas just proposed to another guy- which should have gotten him a beating by the homophobic bullies.

It’s supposed to subconsciously hint Mike is queer like Will, and likes Will. The first interaction with the bullies, they mention Will being ‘gay’ right after they mention Mike’s crush on androgynous El and have a guy propose to Mike. Mike says to “ignore them” ( the homophobic remarks) but is assaulted anyways. And when asked what happed he doesn’t want to tell El the details cause he’s ashamed .

2nd time the bullies talk about Will, Mike is once again in the forefront, unlike his straight friends who are in the background . But this time Mike initiates the confrontation), as the bullies say Will is “flying in fairyland with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay”. Mike was literally on the verge or tears at this comment (despite being happy a few moments earlier , telling the others to ‘act sad’ because they’d look suspicious other wise). But this is the comment where Mike snaps and pushes Troy back (because he took it personally/wanted to defend Will).

The framing of Mike once again being in the front and snapping at the homophobic remarks ( gifs don’t do it justice, just rewatch the scene -Mike eyes water at the remarks). Then the last time the bullies appear , Mike jumps off the cliff and “flies like a fairy” (like Troy said) thanks to El . Troy at the police station even uses the word “fly” not levitate.

-Mike sneaking out to find Will, as Steve sneaks in to Nancy’s. They both even make eye contact (and pretend not to have seen each other).

- they share dinosaur toys , in s1 and 2 they appear to be the only ones with dinosaur toys.

- The s1 mom hug scene where Mike feels he lost Will is paralleled in s3 - signifying how he lost him a 2nd time.

- Mike in the 1st ep being the one to insist on looking for Will in the rain (callback to s3). But he never went looking for El when he saw her through his window? Even when Mike saw Will’s dead body, the second he heard his voice he convinced his friends to help rescue him!

- You remember the binder (from s1) that Mike keeps, filled with 100s of Will’s drawings, and how he caresses the drawing after thinking Will was dead. That’s totes platonic.

- Mike in s1 proclaiming “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” Seems like something a kid with a crush might say ( because obviously his other friends care about Will). But he thinks he cares the most. He was even the first to worry about Will not showing up to school, the first to suggest looking for him while speaking to Hopper, and when Hopper and his parents say ‘no’ he sneaks out anyway (and is the first to suggest forming a search party). The first to believe he was alive after seeing his dead body.The only boy to have a scene dedicated solely to him mourning Will.  Mike being the only boy to stay awake at the hospital, and the first boy to see and hug Will. The only one to have a private one on one talk before Will goes missing. The only one who was literally given 100s of Will’s drawings. And yet Dustin says Lucas’ is Mike’s best friend? So what does that make Mike and Will?

In s2:

- Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard. But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d. Paladins have similar healing powers to clerics, but clerics have stronger healing abilities - which is interesting since Mike has always been viewed as the protector. But to Mike Will has helped him (maybe deal with the loss of El and other trauma) , just by being there. And if Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will. It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a healing presence and his moral compass.

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order. After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.”

This proves Mike knows he treats Will special/different than his other friends- and unlike a relationship with El (they are still individuals who are not dependent on each other). And Mike thinks being with Will quite literally makes him a better person. Juxtaposed with how him being in a romantic relationship with El made him blind and apathetic to those closest to him .

- All the mileven s1 parallels vs byler s2 parallels were ALL initiated by Mike. If the parallels were meant to show a one sided love triangle (on Mike’s end). They would of made Will the instigator not Mike! Parallels can be watched here , start at 6:50)

-Mike initiated the “crazy together’ line- and in s3 he said ‘blank makes you crazy’. So subconsciously he knew the line had romantic connotations.

-Mike initiating the hand hold (with a zoom in shot) and in the show this is only done for romantic pairings. Also Mike being the one to initiate the ‘arm thing’ which is generally romantic. But in s3 , Lucas also does this, saying “I am spending quality time with my girlfriend’

-Mike saying, asking him to be his friend was the “best thing I’ve ever done”

-Mike constantly following Will around, asking if he’s okay or biking to his house to check on him in s2 . In s3 running out to chase Will to the garage and apologizing, and running into a storm to apologize a 2nd time.

YOU SEE A PATTERN! Mike is whipped! And is the one constantly chasing and pursuing Will, not the other way around! Before s3, people always portrayed Will as the (stereotypical- problematic trope of a) sad-pinning-gay in a one sided love with Mike. It’s like people didn’t even watch the show (and just assigned tropes/stereotypes they wanted, that weren’t actually there). Will (probably too shy or scared to- because of homophobic taunts) never initiated a single byler moment- it was ALWAYS Mike!!! If people were actually objective, they would of thought it was Mike who was the one pinning!

- Which brings me to Mike literally pinning! Mike forcing Will to dance with a girl (who has a rainbow hairclip), but you literally see Mike’s shocked expression like  ‘what,why’d I do that ?’ And after this, they show Dustin looking sad about Max/Lucas dancing and then they have Mike get into the frame (next to Dustin) and look sad when Will/girl are dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these last 2 shots.

the cannon Spotify playlists-called ‘Mike’s basement beats’- These are character playlists that Spotify and St worked on together after s2.

-his first song is “small town boy” an 80s LGBT anthem about living in a small town and being queer and bullied. Every band member was openly gay.

-his 11th song is ‘don’t you want me’ from a “celebrate your gay pride” album

* But queer people are “delusional” for thinking Mike isn’t straight? And are told to “open your eyes and watch the show” (that was an actual quote in the byler tag). Ok? Take your own advice, then! XD

One of the Duffers cited inspirations for ST is SUPER GAY (and what they based the byler dynamic off of).

In the Will comic, Will throws an old 1970s book called “house of stairs” at the demorgorgan. And in a later chapter Mike and Will just read together at the library (just silently reading together, enjoying each others’ company-totally not a romantic cliche).And Mike warns Will the book ‘could have spoilers’ for the d&d campaign. Also look at this byler-centric cover :)

  Peter (Will) is shy, quiet ,initially a pushover, and gay-coded.  And as a coping mechanism he has psychological-breaks with reality where he thinks of his best friend from the orphanage, Jasper (Mike) . Another kidnapped boy, named Oliver (who looks just like Jasper/Mike) is also queer-coded (but a violent-sociopath). And, unlike Jasper who actually wanted to protect/take care of Peter -Oliver starts to gets a sick thrill out of making Peter dependent on him (which Peter catches on to pretty quickly). Oliver was insistent on being the only one to ‘wake’ Peter from his episodes (just like how Mike did for Will, in s2), except Oliver calls him pet-names like “sweetheart, baby, etc.” 

And again to prove it’s queer-coded I’ll read some of the (shortened) quotes, in the order they were written. These are quotes from Peter (Will’s) pov talking about his childhood best-friend Jasper (Mike) .  

-“his room. His and jaspers room.  Jasper looking up from his desk, smiling glad to see him. Jasper saying . Something very important. The most important message, the secret message.  He couldn’t hear him . But jasper keeps smiling , keeps talking . What was the message, jasper? What was the message? The dream had been beautiful at the beginning, terrible at the end, but he longed  to be in it again. If only he hadn’t awakened.”  

-“Jasper sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes ,smiling, ‘you’re okay pete, you’re better than a hundered of those slobs put together. Tomorrow I’ll tell them so myself‘ jasper’s strong, hard body as he got into bed ,so different from peter’s. Strong, to protect him to take care of him. Jasper, who always took care of him”.

-“He wanted to think about oliver it  it was like having Jasper back again. It would disturb him to see Oliver go off with Abigail… the rejection quite painful. It had never been like that with Jasper…jasper.

-The room they shared with rainbow colors, murmuring comforting words to him , enclosing and protecting him. He let himself drift into it, the rainbow hues dimness.”

-“No one ever depended on him. It was he who always depended on others, on Jasper. jasper, who had always taken care of him. Jasper…”

later he admits his feelings for Jasper to Lola/el. Lola and Pete are plantonic soulmates. The only reason why they survive and don’t succumb to their dark and violent urges/psychological brainwashing is because of each other. Lola has  brown hair and eyes and has a buzzcut and is heavily implied to be a lesbian (as she is the only girl in the group who is not fooled by Oliver’s ‘nice guy act’. Which makes the other girls ‘suspicious’ and alienate her). Also this was written in the 70s… she has a buzzcut and is said to “look like a boy”. It’s not that subtle! There was a reason that the author whose first name was WILLIAM (was suspected to be gay/bi when he was alive)!  XD

-Peter says “ he was my friend we were always together . Jasper his name was jasper .in the dream he’s taking care of me’. Now he was beginning to cry, his throat constricting and tears welling up in his eyes .’taking care of me … he always took care of me… taking care of me, and , and … and loving me’. ‘”It was the best time in your life’ she murmured’. ‘Yes’ “

* cough protective childhood friend, rainbows, ‘best time of your life = best thing I ever did.

S3 ending (byler centric ending)

When we first see Mike during the Hopper mologue, the moving truck leaves. “Like you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”…  (the last thing they talked about was Will visiting to play d&d and their fight this season started because of a disagreement about d&d.)

Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave) like how Will did seeing Mike hold hands with El and leave .  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”Mike , like Will “doesn’t want things things to change”. He doesn’t want his  his feelings of friendship to become romantic in regards to Will,  it “scares” him (especially in rural 80s Indiana). Right after Will cries,  it immediately switches to Mike hugging his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1 “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will were romantic.  When things were simpler. 

“But I know that’s naive. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes, it’s surprising. Happy.” (byler endgame)

Will (in s2) even says everyone treats him like ‘freak/ that something is wrong with him’ (purposely leaving out Mike from the discussion). And then when Will disparages himself as a freak,and Jonathan agrees but asks Will, ‘who would he rather be friends with-  David Bowie (who was openly bi since the 70s) or Kenny Rogers’? And when Will says Bowie, Jonathan agrees saying “see, it’s no contest”.

So,  it’s just another coincidence that when Will ‘dies’ (in s1) a David Bowie song (‘we can be heroes’) plays. And as Mike hugs his mom, mourning Will -  a romantic lyric from the song plays during the hug?“And we kiss, as though nothing could fall. And the shame”  (which is heavily queer coded)?

And then in the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors this scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. And right after the hug (‘we can be heroes’) plays again!?  I’m not saying byler is endgame. But- WAIT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING! XD

These men literally invented ‘hetero-baiting’ (with Robin & Steve) and you think they’re going to queer bait?!

Also, if Will was a girl named ‘Willow” no one would call byler ‘delusional’ ! Even the most casual viewer would say it’s obvious they’d end up together in the end!

If the witness said about El in s1 , “ same height… it could be the Byers girl”, instead of ‘boy’ (pointing out the resemblance).  Mike only meeting El cause he was looking for Willow. Proclaiming “i’m the only one who cares about Willow!” . Mike getting into fights and getting upset (almost crying) about the bullies insulting Willow. Mike only getting angry at El when he thinks she lied about Willow being alive. Mike being the only boy who has a scene dedicated to his loss of her (with the same romantic lyrics playing). Mike having a whole binder of her drawings and caressing one of the drawings, after he thinks she died.  Mike being the only one of her friends to stay awake at the hospital, waiting for her to wake up- so he can see her and hug her first. People probably would of started shipping it the second Willow stared at him and was the only one who didn’t lie to him, in the first ep! Another parallel to El!

If Will was Willow, the majority of the fandom would be byler shippers. Think about it! . Mike having s2 byler scenes that are identical to s1 mileven scenes, and then additional unique byler scenes. Mike staying by Willow’s side 24 hours a day for several days (not even changing clothes), carrying her out of the hospital, grabbing her hand (with a zoom in shot),constantly asking her if she’s okay at least 5-7 times, putting his arm around her twice, being the only one who could tell something was off with her (and it wasn’t her normal type of quiet). Calling and running all the way to her house and banging on the door to check on her, desperate. Watching her sleep cause he’s so worried. That shed scene reminiscing about how they first met in perfect detail, saying “I asked, I asked if you wanted to be my friend. You said yes, you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. (like a marriage proposal)”  The “crazy together” scene. Them being close since they were 5 vs the girl he knew for a week (but is somehow in love with?). In s2 if Mike sadly watched Willow dance with another guy , while Dustin does the same to Max. Forget it- everyone would already know mileven would be doomed to fail.

And again think about s3 if Will was a girl.They parallel the (comedic) mileven breakup vs (the sad/serious) byler breakup. Then Mike just complains and burps on the couch vs apologizing to Willlow multiple times/even going into a storm to apologize a 2nd time (and to ‘talk’). Willow having a breakdown over the fight vs El laughing and high five-ing Max after.The shed vs the pool shed scene- “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “you’re the most important thing in the world to me”, “blank makes you crazy’ (as El stares confused) vs “crazy together’ (where Willow says ‘yeah, crazy together’). Mike going on ‘movie dates with Willlow all the time’ right after making out with El. The last mileven kiss where Mike has his eyes open the whole time,  and doesn’t kiss back. And saying he doesn’t remember saying  “I love” you to El (and doesn’t say ‘I love you’ back). Right after having a talk with Willow about playing games when she comes back (the crux of their fight). Mike getting excited that he’ll be able to visit El and Willow on Thanksgiving and them visiting him on Christmas (those are holidays where family usually introduces their S.O.) Having the last scene of Mike,  be him looking back at Willow’s house, and have that whole monologue about “feelings changing”, and then he goes to hug his mom like the s1 byler scene where he thought Willow was dead, signifying he lost her again. And that’s not even all the scenes- and every time byler won by a landslide. If Will was a girl, we wouldn’t be ‘delusional’! It would be obvious writing on the wall, that Mike would eventually choose Willow over El by the end of the series.

But since they are 2 boys, we’re delusional, because queer kids don’t exist … apparently.

*S3-I’m not repeating my literal essays but they’re probably better than this post so here are the links to pretty much all my s3 byler meta.  (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

gif credit: 1st few have the name stark in the gifs, 2nd byler gif (found on wheheart.com- user dream_daisy, not sure if they also have a Tumblr , 3rd livelovecaliforniadreams, 4th &10th Cath-avery, 5& 6th unknown, 7-9 eggogorgon . Tell me if you know the unknown one so I can give credit , please.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Lucifer Morningstar is an introvert.  A very awkward and unusual introvert.

In an attempt to not create a bunch of random side-blogs, I’m just going to drop this here.  Sorry Doctor Who/Torchwood fans.

With the whole covid-19 thing, I’ve been trapped at home more than I had anticipated recently and I was looking for something a bit more fun and frivolous to watch so I finally gave Lucifer a go.

I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to get to this, my brother had watched it when it was on tv and had mentioned it in passing several times.  Suffice to say, once I finally gave into Netflix, I found it to be quite an enjoyable watch.

What really struck me in the serious is how it becomes obvious that Lucifer is an introverted character who is hurt.  Wait - what you are thinking?  He’s an introvert?  Oh man, he’s totally a huge introvert.

Let me walk you through why he’s clearly an introvert despite a quick glance at his outward actions.

1.) Hiding in plain sight. 

An interesting aspect to his personality is how he hides in plain sight.  When he moves to LA, he rents the building that houses Lux and his penthouse suite.  Lux is a place where he is surrounded by people, if he wants to partake in revelry all he needs to do is go downstairs and party with people in the club.  However, he can also retreat to his place easily which is surprisingly well stocked with books and another piano for him to play in private.  I doubt all of his books are for show, he frequently denies thinking deeply about things, but he always seems to be one step ahead of others which has always implied to me he plays the “I’m smarter than I look/act” card.  Early on in the show, he occasionally invited people up to his place to party but it wasn’t a common experience.  Think of the pizza delivery guy being invited to stay and party.

Despite his love of drinking, drug use and sex, he makes it quite clear that drinking and drug use rarely have an effect on him for long.  He is rarely hung over or wasted since his metabolism clears the alcohol too quickly for him to feel it and on multiple occasions he states he mainly drinks as he likes the taste.  One of the few times he was high was after he smoked a massive amount of pot at the teenage delinquent recovery farm as indicated by him sitting at the detective’s desk eating potato chips and dipping them in nutella realizing it was an amazing flavor combination.  For him, drugs seem to simply be something that is fun and a way to amuse himself and based on his drinking, it is mainly a way to meet and socialize with people.

As far as the sex, it is clear that he uses his casual hook-ups as a fun distraction.  To avoid any possible intimacy with others, he hides behind the fact that sex is a pleasurable act and by keeping his sex life 100% casual, no person in his or her right mind would even consider dating him.  He has made himself impossible to be seen as possible long term boyfriend in a steady relationship.  He likely struggles with his own angelic power to pull out people’s desires and his ability to seduce them.  Since his default is to have people literally throw themselves at him, he likely sees most of them acting in response to his powers and necessarily to him as a person.  As he wants people to follow their desires and free-will (as he simply removed the inhibitions that were present and did not create them) he gladly indulges them as well as himself.  If I were him, I’d be like “well why not?” an attractive person wants to sleep with me, sure do it, no harm, no foul.

I found it most telling based on how sensitive he is to his sexual reputation as well as his ability to meet his current sexual partner’s needs.  First off, when a random kid pretended to be him, he was incredibly upset that his imposter lacked his skills.  He’s Lucifer Morningstar, he has skills and a reputation associated with them.  Secondly, when the detective decided to interview his previous partners for the past 8 weeks (all 92 of them) two things were very obvious i.) he went to great lengths to make sure no matter what he did, that person had the most amazing sex of his or her life ii.) not a single person he slept with saw it as anything more than an amazing night of no strings attracted sex.  His actions did not inspire them to want more of a relationship from him.  How his facial expression become quite sad as all 92 of them stated it was just empty sex showed how alone he is. Another unusual trait is that he has been the most sexually responsible angel ever.  Granted, the vast majority of angels were never going to have sex in the first place, yet he has a much more responsible track record than Amenadiel.  It is clear that he has had sex with thousands upon thousands of humans over the years and he never once resulted in a human-angel pregnancy.  This may also be linked to the fact that Amenadiel by default, desires a ‘normal’ regular relationship while Lucifer has been avoiding having a “normal” relationship.  It would imply that if he found someone to have a kid with, he would be in a “normal” long term relationship with that person.

Overall, his first career on earth was to make sure he had an establishment that represented what he felt others perceived as his core personality, that as the devil, he would have to surround himself by partying and temptations.  Owning Lux is a way for him to keep up appearances and maintain his public persona as well as his persona that is seen by celestial beings.  Lucifer is a classic example of a character who is totally alone in a crowd.

2.) Few close friends

Another true introvert trait is to have a small tight knit group of friends.  Lucifer fits to this exactly.  He has excellent social skills, and again due to his former job and his nature, yet does many actions by smooth, polite and calculated actions - from a distance.  His job of granting favors is based on how he knows someone, who knows someone, forming a vast network he has to draw upon to make sure that the favors work out the way the person would like them to.  He doesn’t do the favors though because he cares for the person, more than he seems to do it to pass the time until he finds a job with more meaning.

It is starting his second job as a civilian consultant for the LAPD that his preference and need for a small friend group becomes obvious.  The most obvious one is his relationship with Chloe. 

Chloe Decker: He is first intrigued at why his powers do not work on her, his immediate physical attraction to her as well as seeing her as a kindred spirit also drew him to her. She is the outcast of the department and he knows all too well what it feels like to be the literal outcast.  As a result of their common situation and the fact he can’t sway her, the two of them can speak openly and honestly.  Granted, the biggest issue with his relationship with Chloe is the fact that she denies the obvious truth that he tells her even though she has seen enough evidence that he likely is not some random British guy living in LA running a high end nightclub.

As their relationship deepens he begins to find comfort in the fact that despite his inability to influence her, she still appreciates his company and values him as a friend and a work partner.  Even though he panics and holds her miracle status against her at first, he comes to realize she can’t be held responsible for something she has no control of and is unaware of.  Linda time and time again tries to get him to realize that he keeps her away due to his absolute fear that she would reject him.  Since she’s the only person who could accept him as is, it means her acceptance of him is the biggest risk to his own heart in regards to her. 

In part, his complicated relationship is tied to his fear that she would reject him, so him loving and caring for a single person as he does for her is too risky.  He’s a seriously hurt dude, he’s terrified of being hurt anymore by someone he cares for.  Chloe really takes a long time to realize how deeply he is hurt.  I get that she’s his opposite but I do felt out of all of the characters, she got short end of the stick in regards to character development.  Everyone else has had major changes and realizations yet she only sort of struggled with Lucifer’s identity in the first half of season 4 and she was off her “mark” when she was a bit preachy with him.  Thankfully, she stopped that bit and realized that he more needed her to listen to him and to support him.  It really got that concept that sometimes you need to just be there for someone and not try to fix it - since Chloe is a fixer. 

Mazikeen:  She is his right-hand woman.  The only demon to leave hell to follow him to earth, she first acted as his personal assistant, running the day to day operations of Lux and also working as a bartender.  Despite all of their conflicts, they care deeply for each other and have each other’s back.

The hardest part of growth in their relationship is when it went from master-servant/boss-assistant to more that of peers.  Even as he began to change in how he worked with humans, he keep their relationship as their default from hell.  He really hurt her feelings since she developed feelings and both of them are terrible at expressing them to others.  They have a relationship and work dynamic that they had for thousands and thousands of years - it is pretty impressive that they are learning and growing in a relatively short time period to respect each other and mature.

I found the most emotionally moving parts between them to be in season 3 when Chloe begins to get involved with Cain/Pierce and he expresses his worry that at least he has her and she’ll never leave him.  Maze interprets this as him being selfish and treating her as his number 2.  She lashes out at him and all he does is look back at her in return is hurt as he almost quivers.  Since she was his right hand woman in hell, she is the person with whom he has had the longest and most trusting relationship with since being cast into hell.  Did he phrase things in a way that helped in the situation - no.  But was he telling her his honest feelings that he really does feel like she is someone who is always there for him and supports him - yes.   When she goes behind his back to work with Cain/Pierce, he’s hurt and feels betrayed.  Sure, some of it is karmic payback for the times he’s hurt her, but after his failed experiment with Abel, he has every right to not just pop willy-nilly between earth and hell.

I have the vibe that they will eventually settle into a sibling like relationship treating each other the same way he interacts with his angel siblings like Amenadiel and Azrael.

Ella Lopez: So far Ella has been the only human friend that he has worked with with whom he hasn’t used his angelic charms on.  He was uncomfortable around her at first; she’s religious, she’s outwardly friendly and very much into giving hugs.  Ella “wastes” her time on what he would see as pointless pleasantries in the office.  Yes, Lucifer will lay on the pleasantries, but his always have a purpose - Ella’s are just her being nice.  He did like her opinion that the devil got a bad rap, but then she kept thinking he was a method actor in addition to being a nightclub owner.

Despite their obvious differences the two of them are both very straightforward people who have a strong sense of personal justice and are dedicated to solving the crimes.  He quickly begins to joke around with her and with her four older brothers, she finds no issue with dealing with his antics - it is more like par for the course. 

The fact that Azrael also couldn’t help but become friends with her seems to indicate she has some sort of personality that celestial beings really like, especially those who have the shittier jobs e.g. Lucifer running hell and punishing and Azrael being the angel of death dealing with, well, death.  The fact that she made sure Ella would become friends with Lucifer was really sweet and even though he was at first upset since he doesn’t like people trying to manipulate with him, he realized that Azrael’s action was in right place. She got her favorite brother and favorite human to become friends since she knew they would get along even if she couldn’t be with them - you know, having the whole angel of death as her day job.

His love of Ella as a friend though came out when her older brother Jay was in town and mixed up in the illegal diamond cleaning.  Yes, he brought his own feelings with his older brother into the mix, but he was correct.  Jay is not the absolutely perfect brother, he was involved in shady stuff.  I think when he confronted Jay was one of the best scenes in regards to him standing up for and protecting his friends.  He made it very clear that if Jay ever hurt Ella again he’d be in trouble as he knew how important it was to her to continue to see her brother in her own most positive light.

I really get the vibe that they feed off of each other being goofballs - Ella was a nerd and picked on as kid and had a lot of issues to deal with.  He’s the cast out son, they are both outcasts on the rebound and they like to have fun with each other.  This really comes to a head in season 4 when Lucifer, Chloe and Ella go to the nudist colony.   Chloe is a complete stick in the mud and by the time she turns around the two of them are naked and ready to go.  As adults on their own and away from their family and their former “teenage” issues they finally get to be who they want to be and I just think their dynamic duo antics are adorable.  She is the friend that will do silly things with him while Chloe remains too, well stoic. When Ella has her crisis of faith, Lucifer doesn’t fan the flames instead, he’s confused how to react so he doesn’t tell her what to think.

Trixie:   She immediately loved Lucifer from the moment she met him.  He is incredibly awkward with her.  He’s not sure to do with her little kid hugs, he tries to not hold her hand when they investigate the elite private school.  Yet, no matter how frequently he calls her a little urchin and doesn’t understand why she likes him, she grows on him.

I personally loved her bedroom sign in the first season - “Trixie’s room - no boys allowed - except for Lucifer.”

Trixie is a classic example of kid radar seeing people for who they are; she accepts Lucifer and Maze with no judgement, she just sees them as these rad adults whom she can play with. 

I really liked when he tried to buy her the new doll since she destroyed her old one - in a way he respected her kid logic - did it teach her a lesson - no.  But it was a logical extension as a means to an end.  He came from a background of illogical parenting so to speak.  He dealt with rules that didn’t always make sense it is clear he spent too much time pondering them thus leading to his current situation.

Does he like other children still? Not really, he still didn’t know what to do when he touched a kid’s head with a little pat as his backyard picnic with Cain as he wiped his hand on his sweater.   Yet, since he has gotten to know Trixie through his interactions with her it is clear that he likes her.

Dr. Linda Martin: Dr. Martin is my fav female character on the entire show as she is a compassionate, caring and intelligent individual and a secret badass.  Her relationship with Lucifer started how all of his interactions with people who desire him do - with her wanting to sleep with him.  Over time, she realizes that she can’t and shouldn’t be sleeping with him and he also begins to realize that he can work with her without having to pay her with his body and pay her the normal way - with money.  He learns to treat himself with more respect and not just give away himself to her.  Showing a bit of a shift in how he sees himself with those he actually knows.

I think she really was his first example of how to have a normal human transaction with well, a human.  She is incredibly patient with him and even when he reveals his true self to her, she is able to accept him with a little nudge from Maze.  Despite being overwhelmed due to his families odd demands on her and almost killed by his very upset and stressed out mother, she protects him as a client and as a friend. 

Sure, he always interprets her advice in interesting ways and she knows him well enough to realize that he avoids things and is in denial but she always still cares for him.  He also does frequently figure out what she wants him to realize - he just likes to make it more difficult for himself.  I wonder if the more that they got to know each other, his ability to influence her waned as she saw him as more than a playboy and he saw her as a doctor who could help him and later as a good and trusted friend.

Most importantly, she never gives up on him and truly believes in him despite all of his detours and distractions.  When he has his identity crisis in season 4, she is the first person he shows his devil wings to.  This comes from a place of deep trust in her and even though she can’t help him, she is there for him as a friend. 

I don’t think he’d ever admit it to her directly, but Lucifer likely understands that Linda’s friendship with Maze has helped Maze grow as a person - er demon - and her advice has helped him in how he interacts with her learning how to change his relationship with her from boss-assistant to more that of peers and friends.

Dan Espinoza: Oh yes, despite all of their stupid male ego headbutting, Lucifer is friends with Dan and he does care for the man.  When they first met, Dan was definitely a being a bit of a dick to Chloe; mainly by keeping his own secrets to protect her even though it drove her nuts.  If anything bothers Lucifer more it is people lying and hiding things from him.  Lucifer is almost pathological with telling the truth and not lying; and well Dan was not the most honest at the beginning.

So of course, he received full on Lucifer hazing; once the police admin punished him by demoting him for messing with evidence he slowly became more sympathetic to Dan.  He did use his skills to get Dan to admit that he wanted to correct his mistakes and when Dan started to lose it with Azrael’s blade, he saw that Dan was a stronger and more complicated man than he wanted him to be.  If Dan were a simple man, driven by simple desires and actions, Lucifer could write him off.  But Dan isn’t, his biggest change is when he realized he needed to stop calling him Detective Douche and actually call him Dan, in part due to Dan standing up to his teasing.  

Was it right for Lucifer to keep up his petty antics for so long?  Likely not, but Lucifer learned that some of Dan’s actions and personality traits are actually good things and his day shadowing Dan was annoying for poor Dan, but at least allowed him to realize that not everyone is the same.

Lucifer also has been more honest about his feelings in front of Dan than many others - when they went to get a favor from the Russian mob boss, he freely admitted his own hatred for himself and how he hurts everyone he cares about. If he said that in front of Chloe or Ella, both of them would rush to tell him it isn’t true and he’s being too hard on himself.  Instead, Dan kept his distance and realized that both of them think the grass is greener on their side of the fence.  Lucifer is secretly jealous of Dan’s more simple approach to things and Dan thinks Lucifer truly is careless and wishes he could be a flippant as he appears to be.

Dan really is a reminder how how Lucifer is unable to open up to others and make himself more vulnerable.  Unfortunately, this results in Dan frequently getting hurt and he makes epic bad decisions in season 4 out of grief over Charlotte’s death, blaming Lucifer for all of his pain.  But no matter what happens, it is clear that Lucifer would not wish for bad things to happen to Dan as he is a good guy and a capable detective.

Is their friendship a perfect one?  Far from it, but both of them really do try to care and support the other guy as long as they aren’t pissed off at each other.  It likely doesn’t help that Lucifer’s friendship with Dan is pretty much his only one with a normal human guy.  He’s got plenty of angelic brothers and Cain really isn’t normal by a long shot so it makes Dan even more important to have him in his circle of close friends.  As a 100% totally normal dude, Dan acts frequently as the ‘in’ to understanding (or really lack of understanding) what is happening.

Eve:  I just finished re-watching season 4.  I’m still not sure where I’d place Eve in all of this.  She’s only in season 4 so far and based on her actions, I’m not sure I’d call her one of his close friends. If anything she was pretty much an impediment to all of his relationships - albeit maybe not quite on purpose . . .  she’s a woman who still hasn’t figured out who she is despite realizing she needs to not define herself in the context of a relationship. 

Sorry for not having more thoughts on this, I need to ponder it more. 

What I will say is that their relationship issues stem from the fact that he is an introvert and she’s an extrovert.  He realized that Eve was a “bad” influence on him and he struggled to express his feelings to her.  The fact that it takes him shouting out at her that he “doesn’t like who he is when he’s with her” was painfully difficult for him to say.  It is clear that he cares about her deeply and he wants her to be happy.  Yet, he can’t and really doesn’t want to deliver on her actions or feelings.  The worst part is that it tears him up inside since in a way he saw her as a possible long term partner which was a big deal for him.

3.) Works either alone or in small groups. 

When it comes to his role with the LAPD, Lucifer’s modes of action are not that of a typical extrovert.  He is either working closely with his partner Chloe, or occasionally with Ella or Dan.  He is never part of a large group nor is he taking a typical leadership role.  Due to his need to protect others and his need to get answers as quickly and directly as possible, he frequently goes off on his own.  In part, this is so that he can take full advantage of his angelic powers and immortality, but also to protect those he cares about.  Sure, he walks into a Korean gang headquarters and tells them to come out, but he doesn’t try to chit chat or smooth things over with them.  He goes in, finds the head boss and pretty much strikes a deal with him that he can’t refuse.  When he wants an answer his methods are far too direct.  Find suspect/target/person and just question them or threaten them and then question them.  There is no charming and social games.  He can’t be bothered with banal pleasantries when he wants to know something.  If Lucifer were a true extrovert he would want to talk to others and feed off of the energy he gets from being with them - yet - he never has shown this.  He sees getting information as a task he needs to complete as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Even though he is hurt when Chloe and Cain become closer and begin to hang out or work cases without him, he still shows up and does work to help out with cases.  He also is good at working by himself and is able to work things out when he applies himself.

He also has an excellent sense of intuition when reading people.  Of course, one of the major aspects of the show is that he projects his own issues onto others.  This leads him off of what they are doing sometimes, so his read isn’t quite right.  But he is perceptive when he sees odd behaviors and is able to connect things without full information.  This is both what he did with Ella’s brother Jay and more importantly with Pierce/Cain.  He invites him for a drink and then stabs him with the knife.  He looks incredibly nervous after he kills him as he can’t kill a human as an angel - he keeps switching between trying to be calm and have a drink while he waits for him to wake up with a nervous sweat.  Did he know for sure Pierce was Cain?  No, hence the nervousness until his intuition was proven correct was his true feelings on his gamble.

Furthermore, when he does work with Chloe or others, he always has their back and will go to any length to work with them.  This to me indicates that he finds working with a select few people with whom he can trust is how he is most comfortable and he doesn’t need to be the center of attention and the one in charge like how he was in charge of hell. It is clear that by the end of season 4 even though he returned to hell it wasn’t because he enjoyed to or wanted to - it was because he had to protect everyone he cared about.  He also has a natural chemistry and ease working with Chloe where even in tough situations they instinctively know what to do and how to act.

4.) He expresses himself through actions. 

Lucifer is an incredibly hurt individual.  He was punished by having to take a job that he didn’t even want or even desire and most of his family abandoned him.  He’s terrified to open up and show his true feelings and pain to others as they would take advantage of it as a weakness to hurt him further. Honestly, I think he still doesn’t quite understand how his actions landed him in hell.  He was questioning the establishment and it is clear he thinks deeply about rules and how they influence others.  Anything he thinks is illogical he ignores as he can’t be bothered to care to follow those rules and conventions.  I think about how he made Chloe rethink the “swear jar” for Trixie - he pointed out rules without a clear basis don’t make sense.

Since he struggles to express his feelings in a way to help others. e.g. mainly in his denial/fear to tell Chloe he truth does two things; i.) he makes it about him or ii.) he tries to demonstrate through his actions.

The making it about him method, is a subtle way where he wants to know how to solve his own problem to help him understand or interact with others.  But since he doesn’t want to say for example “I need to figure out how Cain can die since I promised him and I am true to my word.” he instead hides behind the idea of “I need to find the author’s killer so I can read how she got over her writers block.”  By extension, since the manuscript is an instruction guide, he thinks he’ll learn something so that he can follow through on his promise.  It is a very obtuse way to act, but since he hides behind his narcissistic facade no one will understand he’s not doing it for himself.

As far as his actions, he really shows it when he reorganizes Chloe’s desk; he realizes that she deals with all the paperwork and since she is capable she gets even more paperwork piled on to her workload.  He cleans up her mess and anal retentively arranges her pencils and makes sure the right angles on the files are all lined up.  He also found a method of filing that makes more sense to him and it inadvertently helps her find the missing piece of evidence for their most recent case.  I liked how he color coded everything.  Did he need to add the picture of him in his underwear as her backdrop?  Hell no, but he figures out that since she likes him, what’s wrong with her seeing a part of him that she likely will never see.

This also gets him into trouble; again, buying the doll for Trixie, trying to out perform Cain in gifts for Chloe and always seeing things as a competition.  He wants to give people physical proof of his care for people without actually saying it.  Specifically he wants to express his care through a tangible amount of some sort of physical object.

5.) He hides behind his narcissistic behaviors. 

As Lucifer struggles to come to terms with himself and expressing his feelings he has hid behind his narcissism.  What is a great way to keep people away from you and keeping your distance from them?  Being completely self-absorbed with yourself that no one would ever want to be friends with you.  His narcissism is a HUGE turnoff for the vast majority of the population.

It is so clear that he wants to develop close relationships but he’s so afraid of hurting others and even more so hurting himself. He’s hid behind his hedonistic behaviors and his self-absorbed actions for thousands of years.  He really is a very particular person; he is constantly adjusting his sleeves under his suit coat, his shoes are always perfect, he moisturizes and his hair is styled elegantly.  He likes things arranged elegantly and it shows how important control is to him.  If he is 100% in control of everything, again he’s protected from being hurt.

As he works at the LAPD and forms his important friendships, his appearance changes.  In the first season, he wears black or dark grey suits, his shirts are white, black, dark purple, dark blue and grey, if I recall correctly.  He keeps his look simple and professional, almost cold.  His matching pocket squares are also basic and mainly a single solid color with few patterns.

Yet overtime, he becomes more adventurous in his appearance, he starts wearing more light blue shirts, he begins to add in more color with burgundy, forest green, and even a caramel colored suit.  His pocket squares become more interesting with patterns and more color combinations.  With the increase in color and variety he appears much more approachable and has more of an air of friendliness even though he still only cares for his small group of friends.

A case that was a real struggle for him was with the online dating app for “fabulous” people - Top Meet.  He wanted to continue to judge people based on superficial appearances, as it has been his own wall and it has served him well.  When they ultimately confront the killer, his own knowledge of nature and narcissists allows him to save the day by tossing the head sculpture at him and the detective can apprehend him.

His car serves as both another front and also shows how he longs for few intimate friendships or relationships.  He’s got that lovely little Corvette and it is a two-seater.  He doesn’t drive a giant, flashy car that can fit lots of people.  Instead, he has a small almost cute (I personally think it is cute) car that only another person can sit in.  He only wants to ride with one person at a time as he values his close relationships.  Yet, having a car that only can fit one other passenger shows a part of his narcissistic front - that only a person who he’d see as worthy would be able to ride with him.

Overall, by looking at how Lucifer chose to have a job on earth in a nightclub where he could simply hide was the first indication he’s an introverted character.  The longer he has been in LA, the more close friendships he has formed and they are very important to him as well as his oldest friendship with Maze.  When he realized that Maze was attracted to Eve, he noticed it, but hasn’t made mention of it yet (likely that will happen in season 5).  The fact that he noticed it meant he really has stopped seeing her as his right hand woman and more just as an individual with feelings.  His close friendships really show that he’s an introvert not an extrovert.  It is obvious that he gains meaning and connection from these close relationships in a way he never experienced before.  His preference for working either alone or in a small team also shows that he is much more comfortable as well as his preference to express himself through actions as opposed to using words since that is much harder and more uncomfortable.  Lastly, by hiding himself from all others behind a self-absorbed image he has been able to keep others away from him for thousands of years.

The major point about his character growth is learning that having a small support group of real friends and family he can find what he’s been looking for.  A place to belong and be accepted.