#how did Odin feel? did he actually feel guilt? I think so

[musclesandhammering]

I need any and all au fics where Loki actually died when he fell from the bifrost or where most of the fic takes place in the 1 year gap pre-avengers so you actually see the family and Asgard’s reactions in the aftermath.

[unityrain24]

anyways was thinking of a thor ragnarok rewrite last night as sleep refused to take me. obviously it can't be exactly like actual ragnarok bc marvel/mcu's norse stuff is..nothing like actual norse lore but i figured it could still have some more similarities than what the actual movie did.

(also if i were to rewrite the movie this isn't actually what id do, this was just. idk. what i was thinkin about as i was desperate to actually falll asleep).

anyways i figured this rewrite would actually work best if it rewrote the end of tdw first- loki gets stabbed by kruse and passes out for a while (rather than being able to pick himself back up in secret like what actually happened) and in that time odin senses that loki isn't dead and sends some guards to collect him. since loki technically broke the law *again* (committed treason, escaped jail, etc), he can enforce even more punishment, especially now that frigga is dead and she can't do anything about it. That, combined with some prophecy from midgard (or maybe asgard, idk) as an excuse added justifying reason, he sentences loki to the worst thing he can think up: to be bound against a rock with a snake dripping venom on him, his lips sewn shut so he can never lie again, forced to be in his jotun form, for all of eternity. In the deepest dungeon.

Thor obviously doesn't know about any of this, because he thinks loki dead.

so loki is taken, bound to a rock (idk if it's really work to have him bound with organs tho, since he doesn't have children in the mcu. maybe it's his..pet's? or maybe just chain. idk.), a snake coiled above him, seiðr bound, lips sewn shut, and his æsir form taken. He is completely alone, save the guards outside the chamber.

i don't really ship logyn in the mcu, (bc she doesn't exist in the mcu and their relationship feels to me like it would span for several centuries prior, so just randomly introducing her in one movie would seem strange to me), but i follow some people who do, so i wondered how i could incorporate that anyways, and make it not seem too strange.

Sigyn is one of the guards who has a shift guarding loki's chambers. She feels awful about it though, and eventually decides she has to do something to help. She ventures into the chamber and decides to catch the dripping venom with her helmet.

She also tries to cut the stitches from lokis lips, but when one string is cut, it doubles and repierces the skin, now twice the strength. She tries again, cutting them all at once this time (rather than individually), and grabs them all at once and pulls them out before they can multiply and repair themselves (luckily this time it works). She almost regrets it, though, as now she has to hear loki scream himself hoarse, and she can't do anything else to ease the pain.

she stays for several weeks/months/idk, holding the helmet above loki, having to empty it every so often. Perhaps she gets to know loki in this time, perhaps she doesn't. Perhaps she notices a certain brand on his shoulder, perhaps she does not. Perhaps she knew loki vaguely before, and now muses to herself what could have possibly changed him. Perhaps she didn't know him before, and doesn't muse. I don't know. But eventually she decides she needs to find and tell thor.

as hard as it is, she leaves loki to suffer alone (she tries to see if she can leave the helmet or fashion some contraption to make sure the poison cannot get in his eyes, but she cannot). After some searching and asking, she finds the mourning sullen prince thor and tells him what has occurred. Thor, now filled with joy, rage, guilt, horror, and sadness, breaks loki out with sigyn.

Loki is a mess. He has gone blind- whether temporarily or permanently is unknown- and has visible burns from the acid venom. His hairs a mess and his skin sweaty and thin. You can see his rib cage with how thin he's become. He wasn't allowed much clothes at the start of his punishment, but what few he had have been burned by the venom as well. He can't walk. He's barely conscious, and what little bit he is is just filled with delirium. They basically have to carry him.

They hide away from asgard (or at least the palace). And then ragnarok gets unleashed and they have to fix it etc and in the end they realize that it wasn't literally loki's being freed that incited ragnarok, but it was necessary for him to be freed so they could help stop/fix it/lessen the damage etc idk i was pretty tired at this point i wasn't thinking of details. anyways

idk if that made any sense lol but i'll tag the logyn people i follow/was thinking of

@therese-lokidottir @jonquilclegane @cosmic0artist

[st-highwind]

I wrote something!

feel free to give it a peek under the Read More. It's Kain-centered, quite short.

Warnings: Panic attack? Strong negative self talk.

The door closes behind them, leaving the room in heavy, tense silence. The air turns cold.

Kain staggers when he moves to follow them, but his body will not cooperate. His jaw goes slack and the words he wishes to say --the shout he wishes to release to bring them back-- rest unsaid in his throat. His breath is as reliable as his legs: shaking, apt to render him immobile.

There it is. That barely-tangible, infinitesimal ache that's plagued him for so long, the ache he's been fighting for years to exterminate, but like any pestilence, it lived. It lived, lurking beneath his skin, waiting like some sort of vengeful spirit to possess him just like Golbez did. It takes its long, cold fingers and grazes them along his humors, waltzing in his blood and trampling the black bile that so tenderly sinks him into the familiar dark of melancholia.

He doesn't know what the ache is. It could be an amalgamation of things-- actually, that he's quite sure of. He can feel the pang of shame that clings to his back like sweat after a battle; it's cold and makes him itch. It makes him too aware of the weight of his armor on his shoulders, the tightness of his breastplate and pauldrons. He knows the familiar sickness of guilt that writhes in the depths of his stomach, the way it churns and threatens to boil into his throat. It's poison he creates himself, one that robs him of strength to walk and fight. Perhaps this is why magic never came to him-- his body knew how to sap its own strength all along. One Drain spell cast on him and he'd be done for.

His heart thumps headily in his chest. His face feels hot and his hands prickle with something akin to electricity. He feels as if the fury of Thundaga is about to crash down on him, but he can't move. He can't breathe. His helmet is a vice around his temples, and his neck suddenly can't bear the weight of armor. His shoulders ache with this weight he thought he'd grown so well-adjusted to carrying. His knees buckle and his palms crack against the stone of the floor with an unceremonious clatter, but it's no matter. No one will hear. He is alone.

He is alone.

He's fought for so long to keep whatever this...this monstrosity is at bay for years. He'd done it all right-- he'd memorized his own tells about when he needed to remove himself from what he felt. A good knight is unfazed by his work, follows his orders, and most important of all, never succumbs to his own emotions. Losing yourself to the frivolities of feelings is the one-way ticket to getting killed.

Part of him --something masochistic and elusive-- wishes he were under Golbez' control again. He couldn't control his body, kept prisoner in his own mind-- and he wonders if he really cared at all about Thrush now if he didn't care enough to fight for them then.

Kain feels sick. He feels as if his body has succumbed to desert fever and the antlions are extinct-- no sand rubies to cure him. The feverish heat of anger bubbles in his chest, slowly seeping into his limbs and making him shake.

This is nothing new. He's always been angry, hasn't he? Always pushed away feeling anything only for battle fuel to sink into the void he created instead of nurturing the good that wanted to grow in him. It's nothing new, the jealousy and the rage that simmered until it flowed over, forcing his hand when his heart wanted something so deeply different.

Deliriously, Kain snickers to himself. He thinks that, after all this time, he'd be well-adjusted to not getting what he wants. He'd wanted Cecil's position. He'd wanted King Odin's favoritism that was so graciously kept just out of reach. He'd wanted Rosa, and now he suffers the consequences of such a selfish desire. Blinded by his own jealousy, he's now been the prime benefactor to the enemy. How fitting for him to continue doing nothing more than hurting his friends, hurting innocent people.

Perhaps he's not cut out for this.  

[lokittystuckinatree]

LCU (Loki Cinematic Universe) Rewatch Part Three here we come!

Thor: the Dark World

Oh Gods I forgot how…indescribable this movie is. I have no words. The outfits and settings look so real and the elves look so fake?

Me every time I see Loki: oOmMgGg Hiiiiiiiiiii 😘

“Mother did I make you proud?” And the whole way he handles this scene…How did anyone ever take him seriously - no wonder he went off the rails, that’s his greatest fear

“Do you not feel the gravity of your crimes” ok this is pure speculation but going off of what we know about Loki’s moral and emotional system - he’s capable of remorse and empathy, but he tends to compartmentalize and bury guilt and shame, repress and conceal his true feelings, and rationalize, minimize and justify his actions instead of accepting what he sees as weakness, so yes, I’d imagine that deep down he absolutely fucking feels it. And it don’t feel good.

Loki justifies his imperialism genocide and violence in an imperial genocidal militaristic society but the second he becomes king he decreases military intervention something something (one of the good bits of Ragnarok)

“I don’t enjoy hurting people” But Odin does. And so Loki pretends to.

BOOOOOO Odin no one likes you BOOOOOOO SCREW YOU

oMggg Sif hiiiiiii. Look at her, Thor. LOOK at her! With your eyes! She prettyyyyy

Odin and Thor: talking about Thor’s love life. Loki probably: rocking back in forth in his cell because no one’s ever gonna love him. Another Loki at the same time: chasing his soulmate across spacetime because she pulled a Loki on him and he finds that endearing

The sets and ambiance of Asgard are gorgeous how do I move there

Yet another obscure character I don’t remember, Darcy’s in the comics now I’m so proud, Selvig’s lost his last marble, so have I Selvig, so have I

The weird gravity/time space anomaly/warp thing in that abandoned building actually makes for a fun scene. You cannot change my mind on this. The Aether is pretty creepy though ngl.

Thor and Jane are so cringe together. I love them. They also break my heart

The plot of this movie is really…something

Loki and Frigga’s bond actually makes me teary I know they didn’t have the best relationship it was strained and toxic at times but omg they care about eachother so much I’m getting emotional…she genuinely was the only person Loki truly loved in a healthy way. And he fucking lost her. FUCK

Cut to me relating to Loki so much it makes me physically recoil. I’d get into why but I’m not trauma dumping today.

“I don’t know why Loki helped the dark elf get into the palace”…lol stop lying to yourself you know the reason very well. You have the same resentment and lust for chaos inside you that Loki does…that desperate grief that makes you want to burn down the world that burned you. you know. I see my worst in Loki, and his story gives me hope that I can change. There’s a good chance I will die young (medical shit) and Loki dying young also gives me comfort.

This movie is peak Loki. I just fucking adore the little shit. I just aahfhkjkmng *aggressively squeezes*

Heimdall is underrated

Someone on discord said Frigga autocorrected to Fridged on their phone and Frigga’s dying and that’s all I can think about rip…bruh this scene hits a lot harder after my dad’s death ✌️

HE WASNT EVEN ALLOWED AT HER FUCKING FUNERAL FUCK YOU ODIN DRINK BLEACH!!!!Anyways I forgot how cinematic and heartbreakingly beautiful the funeral was

YOU CAN SEE THE SPARK LEAVE HIS FUCKING EYES IM GONNA FIGHT ODIN IN A DENNYS PARKING LOT. I’m ending on the Loki illusion scene for tonight because it’s 3 am and I’m in emotional distress.

How can anyone watch the illusion scene and the deleted bits and actually believe Loki is a cold hearted psychopath? I have this fucked up headcanon that Loki almost attempted suicide after Frigga’s death and either stopped himself…or Thor showed up right on time. I can’t prove it but I know it’s true by gut instinct.

There’s something so weirdly profound about someone who seeks out death being unkillable. Character who thinks he represents death actually represents life. That’s something the Loki series actually did well. They definitely screwed up his character in places, but I can see the backbone of what they intended. I don’t know how to explain this, but I don’t ship Sylvie with TVA Loki, I ship her with Pre-Ragnarok Loki. Aka, I characterize TVA Loki as closer to OG Loki than he is thus far.

There’s a tiny detail about Loki that makes me go feral. You have to psychoanalyze a little, but Loki doubts his brother even cares about him, so whenever Thor says he feels betrayed and threatens him, Loki smiles. It means Thor cared. It means there’s hope. Negative attention is better than none at all. Disappointment is better than apathy. I wish I didn’t know how he feels.

[thedawningofthehour]

If Donnie had grown up/been raised by Draxum, how would that have worked out. I can see a AU of "Repairin the Baron" where Mikey gets Draxum and Mimir/Donnie (Mimir is the name I think Draxum would have given Donnie if he had gotten to keep him) an apartment next to April's. Mikey also gets the idea for Mimir/Donnie to spend time with his "twinnie" and Splinter (as well as April). In fact, I want to make a one-shot out of it.

That name works, but like...I can't help but notice that Odin beheaded Mimir?? And then Mimir seems to be a pretty friendly disembodied head to him, so like...was it a friendly beheading? Did Mimir just think of a wise severed head as being his final evolution or something? It would be like naming your kids Cronos and Zeus.

I did some rambling here if you missed it, one thing I thought I might add is that Draxum would definitely end up softer and more outwardly affectionate, while Donnie would likely end up less. Even a soft Draxum wouldn't compare to a cuddly Splinter, or three brothers who have very little understanding of personal space. Which would all work out fine, they'd approach a happy medium with each other.

The thing about translating the actual episodes in an AU, it's like...it just wouldn't go down that way. I don't think Draxum would have let the dark armor thing consume him, for one, but the events of the show would just be off from day one. Before, depending on how Mutation Day went down. (this is actually something that really annoys me with some separated aus, where the authors just try to recreate every episode with some additional commentary-we've seen the show! Change it up! Show us how this is different!)

Like, how did Draxum end up with Donnie? With only Donnie? Did Splinter think there was only three turtles? Does he think the fourth died? Did he see Draxum snatch him back? Because if Splinter knew that Draxum still had Donnie, he would have been trying for years to get him back. Splinter would be on Draxum's list of 'people who will absolutely kidnap my son if I give them the opportunity'. The brothers likely would have grown up knowing who Draxum was, knowing that they had a fourth brother that Daddy was trying to get back, and ultimately would taken it upon themselves to rescue.

If Splinter had thought Donnie had died, he'd likely be a very different parent. Maybe more involved, since he had to protect his three remaining sons? Or maybe even more tuned out, since he now has the guilt and grief of losing a child weighing on him. Even if the pilot progressed as normal, even if they managed to sneak off without their dad knowing-I feel like they'd have questions? "Uh, dad? Can you tell us the truth about how you got us and why we're turtles, because we just met this goat man and his turtle son who looks weirdly like Leo, and it just made us think-" "I AM GOING TO KILL THAT SHEEP FUCKER."

The whole show would have just played out so differently. You probably could work in a 'Mikey rehabilitation' angle though, that would still probably happen in any universe. April would be a hard sell with Donnie-he was raised by Draxum, after all, who would have raised him on stories of their brutality and telling him to always avoid them at all costs or they would kill him. He'd have a hard time with Splinter, especially if Splints continues to hate Draxum. I feel like he and Leo would want to absolutely murder each other at first, and then one day a switch would flip and they'd still act like that, but would mean it all in a best-friends way.

[magnusmodig]

rough childhood headcanon qs / anonymous / accepting !

╰┈➤ 1 . does your muse blame themselves for their trauma?

||. As is ever the case with Thor Odinson, the short answer is still, in itself, complicated. Ultimately the answer is, in my personal opinion, yes , though Thor is an incredibly introspective person, and so he can be self-aware enough of himself and his family situation to see it plainly for what it was. Thor is not a doormat. But whether or not he fully commits to acting on what he's feeling, and thinking based that awareness is its own issue. One mostly steeped in how Thor views himself and partly how he views his own family (specifically: he views them all with blinding rose-colored glasses ESPECIALLY once they've died, regardless of the damage they've caused him).

For some context on what I mean, by "how Thor views himself", I mean that he is shown to have something of an atlas complex (also known as: superman complex, savior/hero syndrome, codependency). Everything comes down to him. He's the strongest, so he'll do it. He can outlive and outlast, so he'll endure. He's the eldest, so it's his responsibility. So on and so forth very often times coming out as "I will solve this problem for you" statements most notably with Jane Foster. He takes failure personally, especially when other people are at stake, or the collateral. And he will hold himself accountable for tragedies beyond his control at length. In "The Avengers" and a deleted scene in "Thor: Ragnarok" he actively and repeatedly lumps himself in with his family (aka his father and siblings, mostly), and their catastrophic, destructive actions and pasts — both of which are things that thor himself actually hasn't partaken to any large degree (unless we count the failed Jotunheim heist and even that he WAS going to bail on before his temper got the best of his judgement.) He proceeds to call them (his family) "bilge snipe", while using the terms "we" (denotating himself as part of the issue) and proceeds to call the metaphorical bilge snipe "repulsive". He does this again in Ragnarok while telling Banner that "we're cursed to fight amongst ourselves while everyone else suffers for it"), meaning his opinions on the matter have not changed since 2012.

And by "blinding rose colored glasses" I mean that Thor has another tendency to see the good in people, partly in nature and partly deliberately, especially when seeking it out. And he does this especially when it comes to his family, and he will justify their actions by trying to step into their shoes even when it may not always be appropriate. (//gestures at literally all of thor: ragnarok and how he still idolizes his father to an obscene degree thankstaika re: "i'm not as strong as you", and even further back to the way thor speaks to odin in thor 2011 at the end of his banishment re: "there will never be a wiser king than you or a better father". He also idolizes Loki in "The Dark World" with the line "loki, for all of his grave imbalance, understood rule as i know i never will" and to a lesser degree does this with Frigga in the same film "she saved us all, a thousand times.")

From a slightly more psychological perspective:

The long and short of it is that it is much easier to blame yourself for things that hurt you that were beyond yourself. Especially when you can't understand it, or didn't deserve it. Especially when they come from someone you hold in high esteem, and hold a lot of love for. Like caregivers and family. In a twisted way, it grants the guilt-bearer some level of CONTROL over their emotions and their situation that they did not have in the moment the hurt occurred. If you're can blame yourself, then you're at fault. If you're at fault, then you can feel guilty, and if you're guilty, then you can atone. You can actively work to make up for it. ( "By blaming ourselves, we maintain the perception that we’re still in control of the situation and ultimately safe -even when we’re not." - rosscenter.com) This is especially critical in children who go through this sort of parental dysfunction and neglect. And the reason why I think this is not a development saved for his young adult -> adult years is because of exactly what we see on screen.

Thor comes from a family that is just as loving as it is toxic. His father was so good at being a wise king that he completely failed at being a good father. It's something Thor even calls out in "The Dark World" ("I'd rather be a good man than a great king") after speaking on how being king is losing who you are to politics and mind games and war. Odin as a parent, and Odin's overbearing, all-encompassing shadow of a legacy is what Thor's entire character arc was always about overcoming. His mother, Frigga, is by far the most decent of the bunch, but she is far from perfect. To pull from a previous meta on the subject, my opinion on frigga/thor is as follows: " [...] an unfortunate cycle in which [Frigga] spent SO MUCH ENERGY [...] making sure [Loki] felt seen/heard and had “some sun for himself” that she COMPLETELY neglected to see that her other son was in just as much pain as the youngest was [...] And only realized how estranged they had become when it was too late, and she couldn’t reach Thor anymore. (She also died before she could make it right.)"

His brother is arguably the person he was ever closest to (even among his friend group), up until his brother manipulated and betrayed his trust, killed him, attempted suicide in front of him, tried to take over earth as payback, tried to kill him again, rejected him outright, and then got put into jail.

Suffice it to say that while I think that Thor's issues stem from deep childhood trauma (and only ever further reenforced by the fact he ages so slowly), my dude's got some issues, and blaming himself for past trauma is definitely one of them. (When he can't get away with internalizing it and avoiding it any longer, anyways.) I do also think to a lesser degree this behavior does also count towards friends, just to a less extreme degree. With the main difference being: Thor adores his family. He wants to keep them close to him. He's incredibly protective of all of them. Which isn't to say he doesn't love his friends, because that would be the biggest lie. But friends come and go. Thor will always want to be a good friend, but he wants to be a good son even more than that. And so in cases of conflict with a friend and a peer, Thor will gladly and readily call out his friends for their bad behavior just as readily as he would also dismiss and justify their bad behavior towards himself. (you know like not checking in on him for five years in "endgame", apparently...)

[roxxy-16]

Christmas Witches

Part 1

Your mother had always warned you. “ Be careful what you wish for.” She’d wink and you’d laugh it off but you weren’t laughing now. You were panicking. This was, by far, your worst cock up of the year. And that was saying something.

You’d be lucky to not end up in the clink for Christmas.

You could feel the sweat beading on your forehead, despite the eternal cold of your damp flat. He was staring at you in disbelief and picking up on your panic, which in turn was making the stress in the small room shoot up. His frankly incredible chocolate eyes grew wilder and wider as he helplessly watched you pull at your hair and bite down hard on your lips to trap the whimper threatening to escape your throat at any second. Digging your crimson nails deep into your palms gave you wonderful sharp focus with the sudden welcome burst of pain and clarity. This could all be sorted out. Yes, you just needed to think. You’d made the impossibly stupid, impulsive, true heartfelt wish, surely you could just…. unmake it?.

You needed help. A lot of help. This hadn’t happened in the family for such a long time that you’d totally forgotten just how you’d been trained to resolve it. Had you ever been trained to do this? You doubted it. But you knew who would know. You looked around frantically for your phone, throwing cushions and blankets around before finally spotting it wedged into a crevice of your softly sagging sofa. You could hear him behind you, struggling hard against his strong invisible bonds, but you weren’t too worried about that. He’d never be able to release himself. You had to be the one to do that. You did however need him to calm down, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to fully control his breathing under your not very polished magic skills.

You turned and approached him ever so slowly, like he was an untamed beast, hands open and out in front of you, trying desperately to give some impression of calm. “ Hi there!” Oh lord, you sounded so unlike yourself , so off and high pitched, like a complete loon. Your mind briefly wondered what colour inmates wore these days and if it was at all flattering. He shuffled backwards awkwardly, as quickly as he could, his legs pistoning, working hard, rutting up your shaggy rug to move himself away from you, hitting your unsteady little Yule tree in the corner of the room and scattering the few brightly wrapped presents underneath. You heard something crunch under his perfectly Dior clad arse and groaned. He shook his head, obviously terrified. You tried again “ Don’t panic!…. please just don’t panic. I’m gonna sort this out and get you back exactly where you came from in just a sec. You won’t even remember any of this, so just chill ok?” You tried a reassuring smile but it didn’t seem to be working. He was straining wildly against the magic, which was keeping him silent. His mouth was wide open as if he was attempting to scream but no sound was yet breaking through. You sent a thank you up to Odin. If you could keep him quiet for just a bit longer then maybe you could get this reversed without your chronically nosy neighbors being any the wiser. You slowly moved in closer and he jerked away as you snapped your fingers loudly against his ear. “ Hey! I said chill out! Obviously your attempts are wasted here so please stop!”. This seemed to finally get through. His mouth closed suddenly with a silent snap, his breathing turning heavy through his nose and his eyes grew very hard and cold as they assessed you.

Stepping back quickly out of his space you scrambled for your phone and unlocking it scrolled down the recent calls finding the number you wanted towards the bottom. Had it really been that long since you had actually spoken? You swallowed your guilt down. One problem at a time. That’s all you could handle right now. Pressing the screen you waited, taking another deep breath as you watched him warily and he watched you right back. “ Darling! You changed your mind. I’m so glad. We’re just heading to Auntie Hollies’ place now. Do you have a warm coat?, oh and don’t forget your gloves…” your mother was as usual a hundred miles an hour, not letting you get a syllable out. You pushed through her monologue. “ Mum! I need your help with something…. I fucked up.” Finally she slowed down. “ What do you mean? And watch your language , it really is most unbecoming.” “ Sorry! Sorry, anyway thing is I may have made a teensy tiny wish…..” you held your breath, waiting for the inevitable. “ A WISH!!!! A FUCKING WISH! ON WINTER SOLSTICE! ARE YOU JOKING, YOU MUST BE JOKING , BECAUSE THIS IS NOT AT ALL FUNNY.” You winced, knowing you wouldn’t hear the last of this for months, if not years to come. “ Yes a wish. I know, I know, but I wasn’t thinking. I’ve had a large bottle of red tonight and I wasn’t focused. Anyhooo, never mind the little details now , yeah, how do I send it back?” You could hear her muttering something quickly and quietly at your father before she refocused on you. “ What did you actually wish for?” You looked over at the gorgeous brunette curly haired man bunched up and breathing loudly under your tree and felt the heat blush rise up your neck as he continued to struggle and watch you intently. You turned around and dropped your voice to a whisper, acutely embarrassed, but with no way to move without leaving him alone in the room which you didn’t want to risk, even for a second. If he somehow got loose, you’d be in a fucking universe of trouble. “ I think the wording was” you took a deep breath, knowing what was about to come raining down upon you “ something like….something you know, stupid, like, maybe I…I wished for my soul mate”.

“ SOUL MATE.” You moved the phone back from the screech that came through blasting your ear drum. You looked over your shoulder quickly, yes, judging by his now increasingly frantic movements he had definitely heard that. “ By Eros, have you lost your MIND? John, JOHN, speak to your daughter. Try and get some sense from her because I need to find something and then I need a drink.” The phone clanked down and a few seconds later it was picked back up by your indefinitely more patient parent. “ Hello babe, now what’s all this fuss about huh?” You quickly filled him in on the situation and tried to keep a rein on your churning stomach as you listened to his soft deep laugh. “ Well I always knew you had it in you lovely girl. Powerful, you know, always knew it even when you didn’t listen to us. Anyway your Mother is back with her book, I’ll pass you back.” “ Right, well now, this is going to be difficult. You’ve made a very big ask from the universe, and somehow it’s been granted. I’d never have imagined such a thing in our time . We’ll it’s not like it’s happened for this family for generations , not since your Great,Great ,Grandmother bless her soul, when she had her wanton night with Rudolph Valentino. Did I ever actually tell you about that?” You sighed loudly, “ Mum, now is really not the time, there’s a deeply freaked out man right here, right now and I need to sort this out. Otherwise we’ll be looking for a time reverse spell too, and we know how they go.” “ Yes ok, less said the better about that. Ok, so we have options. One is probably off the cards unless you know where to stash a body…” “ You are really not funny” “ The other involves more of that wine you’ve been drinking.”

[tyrannuspitch]

anyway let's talk about someone i care about. "what side would thor hypothetically take in CACW", as written by a thor fan who's only managed an hour of that film so far.

i think thor would pretty clearly sympathise with team iron man: survivor's guilt; distrust of unchecked individual power; faith and identity built on judgement by a higher power; likely to see international co-operation on planetary defence as a sign of humanity "progressing".

but i'm less certain how/if thor would actually get involved.

there is a reason he's fucked off alone at this point, and it's hard to put him back in this situation without him immediately trying to re-assert that.

also, much as i like to call him a tyrant, i don't think he would necessarily feel very comfortable fighting midgardians over how they run their planet at this point? if there isn't imminent existential danger, i think he's probably going "It is not for me to meddle in the affairs of mortal men... also jane dumped me so i'm off to xandar bye"

but at the same time, he IS an anxious control freak by nature, and, out of his monarchist social context, he's the kind of guy to try to split up a fight but accidentally make himself part of it in the process.

but also, the UN probably want to have a very stern word with thor personally, and i don't think he's likely to be too co-operative about it... his diplomacy so far has depended on gravitas and vagueness; he doesn't want to actually engage with midgard as political equals, in part because he would have to reveal that they're literally not. and he will definitely not take kindly to being treated as potentially hostile or criminal; he may be theoretically pro-government-oversight, but he's also not going to let anyone push him around after everything odin did in the dark world!

hmm. all in all i think it's... probably like. he *almost* becomes a third side in the war. but then he's like well. good luck with this humanity. bye!

[iamnmbr3]

Um...why did Loki (in Thor 2011) lie to Thor that Odin was dead?

well. like most things to do with Loki. it’s complicated. I think there are a lot of different and contradictory things going on in that scene (bc Loki is a very complex character and there are also a lot of different and contradictory things going on in Loki!)

by that point in the movie Loki’s plans have completely gone off the rail. he never intended to end up on the throne and hoped his actions would avert a war. instead a war has now been started and he is on the throne. and on top of that he’s having a suicidal mental breakdown because he’s just learned that he’s Jotun. so he’s not exactly in the best place by the time this scene takes place.

first of all, he wants to get Thor out of the way so that Loki can fix the mess that they are in (a mess that he doubtlessly feels tremendous guilt and self hatred over esp now that he knows his true heritage; he must fear that something in his nature made him reluctant to fight the Jotnar in war and made him want to ally with them, if only temporarily, and so he’s probably overcorrecting in the other direction to prove himself a “good Asgardian). He wants to give Thor some reason for being left on earth.

And I think he genuinely believes that if Thor knew the truth he would not accept Loki as king until Odin wakes up and would not follow him. this adds to the tragedy because Thor actually is the only person to immediately accept Loki’s authority as king. After Loki has lied to him Thor only asks him for permission to come home and makes no claim on the throne and doesn’t suggest at all that he thinks Loki is unworthy of ruling. So actually if Loki HAD brought Thor home Thor would have probably bolstered his rule and his authority and Sif & the Warriors 3 would have had no excuse to commit treason. Unfortunately by the time this becomes clear Loki has already lied to Thor and it’s too late.

Furthermore, Loki has been lied to and rejected and I think he wants to lash out and make Thor feel that way. Perhaps a part of him wants Thor to feel what he has felt. He wants Thor to feel guilt and failure and abandonment and that his family has turned away from him. When really this is what Loki is experiencing. I believe it never even occurred to Loki that Thor would not be disgusted once he learned the truth of Loki’s heritage and turn away from him forever. 

But as we can see Loki doesn’t look gleeful or happy in that scene so it’s not like he’s just evily going down there to torment Thor for kicks. He doesn’t enjoy seeing Thor like that. Maybe part of him wants to tell Thor how he’s feeling and can’t. Once again, tragic because actually we know Thor wouldn’t have turned away from him. And of course Loki probably feels especially unhappy in the end when he realizes that Thor accepts his authority and might have supported him if he just told him he is king now because Odin is in the Odinsleep.

(And btw I do wonder if Loki also came down just to say goodbye because he might already have been considering suicide. Or assumed that once Thor learned the truth he would hunt Loki down and kill him. So it’s their last chance to interact as brothers.)

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

While I feel like about half of a decent portion of the Loki fanbase seems to get that Odin is a shitty father who so very obviously favored golden boy Thor over classic scapegoat Loki. I always felt that Frigga always tends to get an easy pass in terms of the crap parenting department, like others seem to view her as this ultimate flawless mother of perfection.

But honestly I see Frigga as being no better then Odin, sure she a bit of an step up from him...but that's not saying much.  She still lied to Loki about his Jotun heritage for centuries and raised him within a society were Jotunns are seen as basically mindless savages meant only for slaughter all while she and Odin knew that Loki is a Jotun himself and made him have deep internalized racism about his own people including viewing himself as a monster.  And then she proceeded to gaslight him and guilt-trap him into thinking his anger isn't justified as well as playing up Odin like he’s such a pure benevolent king that has never slain anyone or conquer anything in his entire lifespan.  Its true that Loki adored her and seriously loved his mother with all his heart and yes Frigga did taught him her magic hoping it would help give him some  ‘ light ’  of his own  knowing that both Odin and Thor casted overly large shadows over Loki.  But it still didn’t help much since the fact that Loki was still treated differently amongst Asgard and was seen as a lesser prince compare to his brother who is very much the stranded  Asgardian ideal traditional warrior...while Loki on the other hand is the complete opposite of that and so clearly doesn’t fit Asgard societal ideal image of a proper warrior and him discovering that he isn’t truly a real Asgardian only solidify that fact & what he was most likely feeling after the big revealed even more. Frigga trying to pacify him after said reveal finding out that most of his life for thousands of years been a lie and acting like his obvious feelings over said lie isn’t valid.   Really did her & Odin ever fully thought over how Loki might have reacted upon learning about what he actual is?                        Just certain little aspects of Frigga reminds me of those complacent moms who just enables their abusive husbands awful mistreatment of their kids, only stepping in after the damage is already done...but do little to actually stop said abuse.   So honestly I would say Frigga is just as much of a crappy parent as much as Odin is.  While she was somewhat better than Odin in some areas when it came to Loki...but still just not by much.

[emeraldspiral]

So, assuming Kang really isn’t in the Loki show, then I feel like the only person who could be the ultimate villain now is Loki himself. It’s already a bit late in the game to start introducing new characters, even if they wanted to go the Agnes route of relying on people’s familiarity with comics lore as a substitute for actual foreshadowing. But another Loki being the main villain actually does feel like it has been foreshadowed from the first episode.

The Loki we’re following incorrectly surmises that the Avengers went back in time to stop his rise to power. Mobius asks Loki what he’d do after conquering earth, and he says he’d move on to Asgard and the Nine Realms to become King of Space. When asked why he wants to rule everything, he claims he wants to free everyone from the burden of choice and all the guilt and shame that goes along with making the wrong decision. There’s a fork in every road and always the wrong one taken. Sounds eerily similar to the TVA’s objective of removing the free will of everyone in the multiverse by erasing everyone and everything that deviates from a predetermined path someone else has set-up for them. When Loki realizes how powerless he is compared to the TVA and how shitty his life was according to their master plan, he plots to usurp the Timekeepers to become the ultimate power in the universe and mocks Sylvie for her lack of vision in only wanting to destroy them and not claim their power for her own.

Based on the set-up, I think the ultimate reveal is either;

1) Another version of Loki, we’ll call him King Loki, actually did succeed at the battle of New York and accomplished everything Show Loki said he planned to, then the Avengers tried to stop him using time travel as they did with Thanos, making the statement at the trial technically correct. However, they failed and King Loki established the TVA to ensure that all attempts to usurp him would fail, even attempts made by other Lokis.

2) The Timekeepers were once real, but one Loki variant the TVA arrested managed to usurp them and replace them with figureheads. Not unlike how Loki took over Asgard by posing as Odin for 4 years.

The so-called “Sacred Timeline” Loki was never picked up by the TVA because his “destiny” was to die in 2018 and never get mixed up in any time-travel or multiverse shenanigans which might fuck up King Loki’s timeline. Other Lokis do get picked up because their trajectory is either unpredictable, or hurtles toward them surviving long enough to challenge his rule.

In either scenario, where the show’s made it a point thus far that Lokis can be vastly different from each other in terms of powers, appearance (even species), and the lives that they’ve had, King Loki will be the only other variant in the show played by Tom because the point of the character is that he is very much identical to him in every way. Except, King Loki never met Sylvie. King Loki is everything Show Loki could’ve become if he hadn’t met her. Who he still could be, because it’s possible for him now to kill King Loki and take his place. But he won’t do that, because meeting Sylvie set him on a different path. Because she taught him how to love himself, he can let go of his need to grasp at power to feel special and important and in control of his life. That’s why Loki falling in love with Sylvie created a Nexus event in a place where it shouldn’t have mattered. Because a Loki who loves himself and isn’t driven by insecurity and ambition is the only thing that could truly defeat King Loki.

[tripleflames]

Little else matters to him in that moment than to make sure Eloise is alive, that she truly is here and this is not all just a ruse or a ploy to keep him docile. There's no space to think about what happened to Boklad, about the fact he was brought to Waloed by the King himself, nor even about who or what he's become━ he stumbles onward without grace and decorum into the room Odin pointed him to and with a shuddering gasp of relief almost collapses to his knees next to the bed his sister lays in, clearly still asleep and recovering.

Red-rimmed hues fix on her features, taking in his sister's face, the soft rise and fall of her chest, the rosy hue to her cheeks, the way her lips are slightly parted on each breath, looking healthy enough and unmistakably alive. Her hand is limp in his own when he takes it, no reaction to his gentle squeeze, but it feels cool and dry, no signs of sweat or fevers. Theo swallows thickly, his heart beating painfully hard in his chest as he contemplates just how fortunate he is, they both are, that the King of Waloed actually listened to his request to bring her along. He vaguely remembers asking. Pleading even. He cares little for the reasons why Barnabas even agreed, knowing he could've just as easily left her behind and told him a lie, but he is in his debt for this regardless.

He looks up when the Dominant in question speaks up from the doorway, green hues dull and tired but far more alert than before. He flinches at the confirmation that this had been his doing. With his fear soothed and the fogginess of unconsciousness slowly receding, more and more memories are gradually coming back. It still feels unreal, too insane to be true, his mind not quite ready to accept what his heart already knows to be true, because he can feel that curl of power deep within. The sensation of something answering when he reaches for it, it's presence soothing and frightening in equal measure.

Theodore has never been a man to shy away from a harsh truth. Life has taught him early enough that people are cruel and that the only ones he can rely on are Eloise and himself. He knows this: He is a bearer. His parents did not want him. His sister is the only reason he is alive and unmarked and she gave up his future to keep him safe and so he owes her everything. He has never really learned how to want anything for himself and as a result of his life, he is not one to wish for fame, for power or even for the limelight at all. He is better off that way.

He has never been a man to shy away from a harsh truth, but in light of all the above, the truth that he might be a Dominant is a hard one to accept indeed.

" You're saying it is all my━ that my sister... Boklad's destruction... all the people that died... that it was my doing? " He knows the reply ere he even looks into Odin's eyes, but even though it hurts, his heart squeezing impossibly tight within his chest, his throat aching as guilt rises from deep within, he refuses to look away from Barnabas' intense gaze. " Because I━ primed? I━ "

He does avert his gaze then, if only to collect his thoughts, trying his best not to fall into panic and guilt. It won't help anyway, what's done is done and though just like with Eloise he will never be able to atone for it, he doesn't wish to wallow in it either. Instead he wants to━

He wants to━ " How? I have never heard of anyone my... my age... There must have been a mistake. "

The king freezes at the sudden, yet gentle touch of the other Dominant and as such only one hand moves to settle against the young man's shoulder when he presses himself close. Barnabas can't say when he was last embraced like this, simply for the sake of it. It goes as far as him having to suppress a shiver when fingers wind into his hair. Brief as it is, he can still feel the young man trembling from physical and emotional exhaustion, and yet his hold is firm.

Barnabas senses a faint rumbling, an ebb and flow of aether curling around him, similar to the faint rolling of waves at Waloed's shores, as if he is standing at shore and the tide tries to pull him into it's depths, water lapping at his feet. Interestingly, he feels compelled to let it, just to see whether Leviathan would manage to pull him under, would make him succumb and let his depths claim him. But there is nothing violent here, his grip isn't tight to the point of pain and he doubts the Dominant himself is even fully aware of extent of his still pulsing powers while Leviathan works to get his Dominant back on his feet as soon as possible.

He senses not only his but also Leviathan's presence fade with his proximity, the brush of the serpent's overwhelming aether against his own has him draw in a sharp breath and even when the other man withdraws it is as if his warmth lingers in his hair, against his scalp, the skin of his neck, his shoulders. His unexpected tenderness leaves him feeling nothing short of bereft of it as the other man withdraws.

Barnabas blinks and tilts his head as he watches the young Dominant stumble towards the door leading to the hallway. He's so frail, so fragile, so breakable like this. Nothing about the man's demeanor or his movements would suggest the power brimming beneath the surface. Nothing betrays the depth of the powers Barnabas has already seen but still, there is a flicker of something deep within him, a deep yearning to experience more of both, more of that power and to his shame, more of that gentle touch he thought long extinguished, long overcome. It only lay dormant it seems, much like the Eikon that stoked it. He has a feeling that what he has seen in Boklad is but a drop of Leviathan's true capabilities. What lurks beneath the surface? What depths would he discover if he just dared to delve into them?

With an odd gust of wind the door falls shut behind the young Dominant and Barnabas is pulled back from his staring. The twist of power from Leviathan disappears and Barnabas' mind dulls into familiar apathy when Ultima's presence settles more prominently into the back of it. it has been a while since he last felt his master's presence so strongly, so oppressively. If he didn't know better he'd take the way his neck prickles as apprehension on his master's part.

The king rises to his feet. He cannot allow another Dominant to walk around his castle unchecked. Not when he still has to find a way to control him, to utilize him, forge him into the weapon he knows he can be. Given what he knows of him it should be easy, but Leviathan is different than he expected, different from those he surrounded himself with before.

For now, he decides he can only observe, give the young man time to grasp what he is before lending a hand in unshackling the powers within him. He follows the other to the room where is sister is tucked into another bed, finds one of her hands now firmly clasped between the other man's own, his form hunched over by the bed.

Barnabas lingers in the doorway, his gaze strays from rounded shoulders to the sleep-slackened features of the woman. She doesn't look as pale as before. Her cheeks have regained a rosy color, her breathing is quiet and goes easy on each inhale and exhale.

"You nearly drowned her, but she will wake in time." He drawls. It is but a waiting game at this point. "Few can withstand the full might of a Dominant and live to tell the tale—" He pauses, his gaze moving back to the young man. "But then again, few Dominants have the power to undo the damage they have done." An impressive feat still. Most Eikons, Odin included, only bear the means of destruction. The only one he knows of that differs from this pattern of devastation is the Phoenix, but if Leviathan is able of similar things he may turn out to be a truly invaluable asset.

[bxllafanficc]

Lady of mischief- Part five

Pairing: Loki x Greek!goddess f!reader

Summary: Asgard is having a change of power so there are several events Loki has to get right before he can announce victory against his brother as the next king. But one lady’s approval will change the whole outcome if the stakes are right. That lady is you, intended heir to the throne of Olympus but tied down to a marriage of convenience with one of the princes of Asgard. The prince you choose to marry will be the next king but you refuse to let yourself be a pawn in this game for power. Loki, with his intentions to take you as his queen has far greater reason to marry you than just for the reason of being king. You however, would rather cut off your left arm than exposing yourself for the fact that there’s another purpose besides Loki getting a throne to sit on.

One week later and you found yourself at a sea cliff on Asgard’s largest known bay. You’d brought Henna with you, just like every other day since you got officially banished. Now you couldn’t stand being in the castle and spent almost every waking hour in the city, avoiding the royal family at all cost. Odin even demanded you ate breakfast with them since you were an honored guest but of course you never showed.

Zeus left the day after the banquet and not a word from your parents. They probably didn’t even blink the second he told them their daughter had been locked in with an entire castle of self-centered gods.

“Gods are assholes!” You threw a rock at the size of a basketball into the water and glared at the splash, secretly hoping your father Poseidon would sense it and feel guilt. That was impossible, of course. A Greek god holds no power at the realm of Norse gods.

“My lady, you’re a god.” Henna stayed seated at a comfy rock she found the first day coming to the cliff. She said it was the perfect fit for her to relax her always perfect posture without sloping. You always told her you don’t care if she sloped at non-formal occasions.

“Yes, Henna. Me included.” You were just surprised she didn’t faint because you used such a mundane word, a thing you picked up from the humans on a visit once.

“I can’t stop thinking about what I said to the prince. It was a decade ago, yes, but he still remembers it. Probably thinks about it every time he sees me!” You tried to concentrate on the real reason you were here. To practice. You’d never win anyone’s respect if you couldn’t control your powers. You started with the hardest, the sea; a force that doesn’t want to be tamed.

A pulsing body of water drove up from the sea and flew in front of you. The goal was to force it into a perfect shaped globe, forcing the sea to obey so thoroughly. To your luck the liquid started obeying your wish when you put all your concentration to use. Almost a solid globe. You’d only need a few more seconds to-

“And I’ve already said you should apologize to him. Who knows, you two might hug it out and the next thing you know you wake up naked in his chambers the next day.”

The almost globe burst into millions of droplets and salt burned in your eyes at the shock. Your vision blurred out and you coughed on the water that went down your airways. Heat went to your cheeks and you looked down at your soaked clothes.

“Goodness, Henna! You’ve spent too much time with the Asgardian maids.

You can’t say stuff like that!” Your voice was still faint from the couching as you scolded her. You had to put your focus to use once again to extract the water into fine droplets hanging midair in front of you. The dress was far too pretty to get stained with saltwater. The jewelry looked surreal in the light the dress radiated. Every thread of the fabric seemed to be created of pure shining starlight or liquid diamond. The dress held the beauty of a thousand stars.

No one knew where it appeared from, however. You had your own guess, of course. It laid neatly folded on your work desk one afternoon and if it was the first born prince, he would’ve left some grand note with it as well. The dress just laid there in absence of anyone claiming the rights. An apology for sure.

“Well, you said asshole if I’m not mistaken.” There it was. Henna cleared her throat as a sign to drop the subject but you knew she had a big smirk on her lips. You didn’t want to turn around to confirm it.

“Let’s try again, my lady. Why don’t you try claiming the entire wave coming right there?”

You analyzed the wave and realized what Henna was asking. The size of it was huge and it would surely crash into the cliff side underneath you. Your job was to stop that impact and lift it up to your level.

It was dead silent as you waited for the wave to arrive. With a last big engaging try you felt the power of the sea surging through you. Blocking the impact of the wave lashing itself forwards was similar feeling to getting that same wave right in the face like a wall of bricks. But it was not in vain. The water started to rise to the cliff you stood on and you had to replace your feet for a better stance. Every second the sea threatened to leash out of your hold.

“How mighty.” A soothing voice, yet laced with viciousness, appeared only a hot breath away from your ear and you screamed.

The scent of new books hit you too late and the wave had already been unleashed on the threat behind you. The water had devided around your frame, covering Henna and Loki from head to toe in seawater without showing mercy. The sea held no mercy. Right…

A moment of silence and Loki still had his eyes tightly shut, his entire body frozen in place. He’d been less than an inch from you and you hadn’t noticed. He was still less than an inch from your bodies touching.

He slowly went to wipe one of his eyes clean of water and tasted the layer of salt glancing his lips. You cursed yourself for noticing the shameful way his tongue swiped across his bottom lip. Did he take the warm weather with him somehow or why was it suddenly growing hot again? And why did he look so different with the drenched clothes hugging his frame, hair slicked back. The dripping from the each strand fell and caressed the heavy outline of his collarbones.

What were you even thinking about. He must’ve done something. A spell of some sort.

“That was unnecessary.” He said it as simple as ever and it made you grit your teeth.

Stop staring at his abs, dammit!, you thought.

It had to be a spell. This couldn’t be real.

“Why are you here?” You weren’t prepared for this. He was supposed to be on a mandatory meeting right now. Did he just right up ditch that?

“You’re no fun… I came with a proposition.”

“Of what sorts?” You eyed him with careful detail, trying to sense a trick of some sort. His gaze lingered on your appearance a little too long from what seemed appropriate. It was a thorough scan up and down and the soul behind the eyes held a strange glow. Of course he was shocked you wore the dress he bought.

“We can teach each other things. You tell me stories and history of the Ancient Greece, your kind’s gracious era and I teach you illusion magic.” He could tell your raised eyebrow was a sense of confusion. “Like, combining water and light into something entirely new. I’ll teach you how to conjure spells-“

“Like the one you’re doing now?” It just slipped out of you and it was too late to ignore. It was now his turn to look confused. The tip of his tongue came out once again to wipe off some salt and you looked away.

“What?” He asked.

“Whaaat?” You repeated along with a dumb giggle you had no idea where it came from. The already tight fabric of Loki’s shirt was riding up from the wet fabric rolling itself up. You really did try not to think about how the pearls of droplets looked like glitter in the sun on his toned stomach, but realized that you already failed. You swallowed a hot lump of dryness that caught in your throat.

So no spell then?

Loki sighed and cracked a tense muscle in his neck, a green light drying him and his clothes from bottom and up in a matter of a second (Henna remained drenched).

“Just say no quickly, there’s no reason to drag it out. I’ll leave you be when you’ve answered.” You bit your bottom lip and actually took a moment to think about it.

“Actually, it doesn’t sound too awful. But don’t you already know everything about my realm there is to know?” That earned a genuine smile from him and you thought about how that was a rare sight.

“You’d be surprised of how understocked Asgard’s library is when it comes to your history, your highness.”

“And stop calling me that! It’s weird. You never did it before so why do it now?”

“I thought you disliked me being informal.”

“Oh do shut up!”

Loki laughed and nodded in agreement. It was just then you realized how you were still inappropriately close to him and how his breath smelled of something sweet. Something brushed past your hand and Loki retracted his own with a flinch and an apologetic look.

“I’m s-“ Loki started but Henna’s loud cough and pointed glare.

“Wait!”

“Yes?”

“I don’t… I don’t find you disgusting.” You watched his expression and expected him to get upset but nothing in his body language seemed tense. If anything, his jaw and shoulders seemingly dropped.

“That’s like the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” His chuckle was bright but your gut still twisted in shame.

“No but like, I don’t find your touch disgusting. I never did, actually-“ The amount of truth you entrusted this man with was almost too much. The words were so tense on the way out that you started coughing.

“Then why did you-“

“I don’t know! No more questions though. All I know is that it was far from unpleasant and that’s all you need to know for now.” Loki raised his eyebrow, lips slightly parted. You understood you’d talked before your brain caught up with you again.

“No, that came out wrong. But you know what I mean!” Your hands fiddled on the edges of the dress, only to flatten out the fabric right after. The dry lump just couldn’t seem to go down.

“Oh I sure do… And I agree with you on how we speak to each other. I hate speaking to you formally! It doesn’t sit right for me especially. Then I wouldn’t be able to say the stuff I actually want.”

“Like what?” You regretted asking immediately but couldn’t bring yourself to step back as he leaned in.

Lips brushed against your earlobe and his scent was all up in your world, along with the surreal warmth that always seemed to follow him.

“That dress looks absolutely ravishing on you, (Y/n). I never thought you’d wear it to be honest. We’re you really planning on fleeing the castle on such an occasion and not letting me see any of the beauty?” His voice turned low again and the always present rasp seemed extra present today.

The dry lump finally went down.

“You could’ve gifted it to someone else if you wanted to see the dress on an actual body instead of a hanger.”

A low rumbling came from his chest and erupted in his throat. It took you a moment to realize that the sound was a chuckle.

“See, I don’t think that’s true. Yes, any person could wear it, but I can’t think of anyone else who could wear one of the most beautiful things crafted ever and the most beautiful thing in the room would still remain the person in it.”

You couldn’t move your body. It was frozen in place even though the blood in your veins was literally boiling. You were almost thankful that he was so close. That way he wouldn’t see your red cheeks.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Why would I lie about it? Meet me in the library tomorrow after breakfast. I look forward to our time together.”

(A/N: Hi! Don’t hesitate to comment on each chapter what you thought about it/if you liked it since that keeps me motivated to keep writing. Also reblog so my story reaches a wider audience, if you really liked it! Your support is much appreciated. Also let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series. Have a good day, lovelies!)

Find the other parts in my MASTERLIST

Tag list: @liffydaze

@queen-of-mischief

@girl-obsessed-with-things

@obsessivelysearching

@reverse-iak

@perpetually-exhausted-and-tired

[thrndlngs]

@the-fandoms-georgie

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷     A CURSE, natasha romanoff.

pairing: natasha romanoff x gn!asgardian!reader. genre: drabble with HELLA ANGST. warnings: character death + endgame spoilers. a/n: set in endgame. this made me cry lol. hopefully you guys enjoy it. i took a different approach to this so, hopefully it’s still enjoyable! also, reader is the asgardian god/dess of war :p  inspo: poem + another love (slowed down) by tom odell.

                         12 HOURS PRIOR.

     "SO YOU’RE GOING BACK TO ASGARD, HUH?” natasha asked as she approached you, offering a peanut butter sandwich as she straddles your lap while taking a bite of her own peanut butter sandwich. you decline it, which only makes her shrug her shoulders and continue to take a bite out of both before snaking her arms around your neck.

   “you’re doing the thing again.” 

   “i’m not doing the thing again.”

   “yes you are! you’re doing the ‘i’m a big bad asgardian whose forming a strategic plan on how to conquer a planet’ face.” she teases, mimicking said facial expression as you roll your eyes (almost) half tempted to throw her onto the couch you were sitting on. you know, for dramatics. 

   “just worried that someone will spot us. you know, with thor and i’s status and the talking, uh,” you trail off, canting your head a bit as natasha corrects you with an infectious laugh. “a raccoon.”

   “yeah, a raccoon. i could only hope that everything goes according to plan and that we manage to retrieve the Aether.”

   “you’re a horrible liar.” 

   “gods do not lie.” 

   “there’s a first time for everything honey.” 

   it’s your turn to laugh now, hands resting at the small of her back as you take in a breath. leave it to natasha to see right through you. “it will be hard going back.” you can’t bring yourself to finish the sentence and natasha doesn’t force you. she only brings her hands to your face to trace soothing circles against your cheeks, offering that reassuring smile that had pulled you from some of your darkest times.

   “ — i know. i could only imagine what it would feel like going back home.” 

   you scoff, lips pursed as you look over her features, mirroring her smile. “you are.” 

   and she doesn’t understand it - not at first. you loved asgard. it was your home. in another lifetime though. you’ve grown to learn that asgard isn’t a place - asgard is it’s people, traditions - the will and strength to continue on in dire stances (kind of like now). but natasha, natasha was your home now. even if she wasn’t a place. she loved you inside and out. she didn’t see the god(dess) of war or the commander. she saw you, for you. the raw product of fighting battles that weren’t yours to begin with. 

   natasha saw you as someone who was forced a blade and told to fight. so maybe, the two of you are one in the same - just weapons to a cause. maybe that’s why she loved you. maybe that’s what attracted her to begin with, the ‘shared life experience’. she doesn’t know what it’s like being someone of your status - but she does know what it’s like to have your childhood stolen.

   and it hits her. you were referring to her. “i’m nothing compared to asgard.” her tone is a bit more serious now. 

   “you’re the liar now.” you tease, quickly stealing a kiss as natasha rolls her eyes. 

   “i’m serious. the way you talk about it—”

   “someone once told me that home is not a place. it’s where you feel safe and loved - it’s something you feel in here,” you poke at the place where her heart is, a childlike grin on your face as natasha rolls her eyes. again. if only the others could see how corny you truly were.

   and now it’s her turn to remain quiet, fingers trailing your tired features as the two of you sat there in silence. it isn’t until you pull at the ends of her hair that she finally says something to you (but it’s not directed at you, she’s just rambling at this point).

   “i’m not - i’m flattered but i can’t.. i just —”

   “baby,” you cut her off, taking your free hand and using it to turn her attention to you, offering her a soft smile as you laughed at her sudden ‘flustered’ expression. it’s amusing the effect you have on her - even after all these years. “you are my home. i feel safe when i’m with you. i am at my happiest when we are together. home is wherever i am with you. i love thor. i loved the king and queen. i loved asgard and my people, but it was never my home. asgard took everything from me and you, natasha, are the one who helped me see that i am more than what odin forced me to be.” 

                        4 HOURS PRIOR.

    “DON’T BE A HERO TWINKLETOES,” you warned, pointing an accusing finger in her direction as she holds up her hands in her defense as the two of you walked up to the platform. you let out a very audible sigh as natasha takes ahold of your hands and starts to make a very hushed sly comment on how the suit doesn’t do your hands justice. it makes you blush which prompts another comment on how natasha has more bragging points because she’s made the actual god(dess) of war blush.

   “love.”

   “lips are sealed honey,” natasha even ‘zips’ her lips and hands you the imaginary key, giving you a small wink.

   “try not to miss me too much, yeah?” you teased, brows raised as you tried to lighten the mood.

   “tell me about asgard when you get back?” natasha asked, taking a quick step to close the distance in between the two of you as you take a quick glance at thor and the ‘talking racoon’. you wonder if thor could handle it - in his current state, you think he might cry more than you would going back. 

   “natasha,” you begin, taking in a breath as you try to calm your emotions. do you tell her? do you not tell her? do you wait until all of this is over? do you do it now? your mind is working at the speed of light - it’s almost amusing how someone like you seems to get tongue twisted in a situation like this. you’re older now. much more wiser than you were in your last relationship. you’re a commander. a god(ddes) even. yet you couldn’t do something so simple as getting down on your knee? why hadn’t you done it before when it was the two of you? make it more.. intimate?

   “the suspense is killing me.” 

   “i love you,” it’s rushed and you’re laughing to mask the fear in your voice. “in this lifetime and the next.” 

   “don’t get all soft on me now,” she jokes, leaning in to press a kiss against your cheek. 

   “don’t take to long, remember, we have to check out the house in the mountains.” you remind her as she leans in for a kiss. 

   “until the sun grows cold, [yourname].” 

   “—and the stars grow old,” you finished, taking your place between her and steve, eyeing the both of them before turning your attention to the center of the room.

   “i’ll see you in a minute baby.”

                       2 HOURS PRIOR.

     “I WANTED TO GIVE HER the ring my mother put in basket, before she passed.” you tell your queen, a sigh leaving your parted lips as you hear both frigga and thor laugh at your sudden confession. you’re almost tempted to kick the back of her son’s knee, but, you settle for a small grunt instead, pursing your lips into a thin line.

   you loved natasha. and she loved you. not because you were some commander who’s led asgard into battle or worked as a council to odin. not because you’ve led asgard into victories or because men and women alike still pray to you before they go off into battle - 

   she loved you. the version of you that would walk the shorelines and keep a small jar of shells on your nightstand. the you that would tell her stories of all the universes you have traveled or of the stars you’ve slept under. the you that would take your time to braid her the way frigga would braid yours.

   “so why haven’t you?”

   “—you know why.” you answered. there’s a flicker of emotion in your eyes that frigga knows all too well, a gentle hand is placed against your cheek as you have to fight to not lean into. frigga wasn’t your mother - not biologically at least. but she’s watched you grow up. she’s watched you fight and tended to your wounds. she’s watched you fall apart and put yourself back together the day you lost a piece of yourself and went off again into battle. 

   you’ve spent your entire life fighting wars that weren’t yours. devoting lifetimes to a cause that you cared little for. you couldn’t remember the last time you had done something for yourself (the only reason you had came to earth to begin with, was to back up thor and retrieve loki). would it be wrong to do something for yourself for once? to live a life that wasn’t paved for you? to move on and let go of your previous lives?

   “you deserve more than what you’ve been given [your name]. please do not let your past keep you from spending the rest of your life they way you have chosen.”

   before you can respond - thor gives you a thumbs up, a way to tell you that he agrees with you. the two of you, were all that was left of your old home (besides valkyrie but, she hadn’t experienced what you and thor had) and you felt like you owed it to both frigga and odin to protect the only son they had left - 

   “the two of you will do great things. and i’m sure you have stories to tell me, but you are here to fix your future. not mine.” she tells you and thor, bringing the two of you in for one last embrace as you bury your face into her shoulder one last time. it’s bittersweet - she might not have been your mother by birthright but she was the closest thing you had to one. and it was painful to bid her goodbye again.

   “take care of each other. i love you. the both of you.”

                      2 HOURS AFTER.

     YOU’RE ENTIRE BODY IS NUMB. you’ve listened to thor’s plan on getting her back. you’ve listened to their cries and complaints - not once, not once had you spoken. you didn’t need to ask clint anything. you knew. you felt it. it felt like your heart had stopped beating - even if it was for just a few seconds. you knew. and there was no way you could bring her back. the guilt ridden archer had tried to approach you (as everyone else did) and you said nothing. your hands remained in your pockets as you looked out over the waters.

   asgard had fallen. half of the universe. loki. heimdall. frigga and odin. hela. and now natasha. you don’t think you’d ever love again - not the way you loved natasha. 

   “[your name],” he approaches with caution, hands held up in his defense as he tries to get a feel of what your current mood was. which is why he keeps his distance at first (and honestly he thinks you might conjure up a weapon and throw it at him) but you say nothing. you can’t find the right words to express the pain in your chest - 

   “whatever we need to do to get her back. we will do it. together. you have my word.” he tells you, taking a few more steps until he’s only a few centimeters in front of you now. and still, you say nothing. 

   “it’s different,” you managed to say, biting at the inside of your cheek as you avoid the blonde’s gaze. “it feels like - it feels like, a part of me is missing. almost as if i am no longer whole.” 

   and he knows better than to interrupt you, if this is your moment to release your grief - he’d be here. whether it be your punching bag, your shoulder to cry on or ear to listen. he would be there - just like you had been there for him all the times before.

   “i told her not to be the hero. i told her not to be the hero and she did it anyways - that’s my job. i’m the one who’s capable of healing. not her. she sacrificed herself knowing - knowing she wouldn’t come back.” you felt she was being selfish but deep down inside, you knew the reason why she had done it. and you would eventually come to terms with it but today was not that day. 

                    16 HOURS AFTER.

     “NATASHA WANTED ME TO GIVE—she wanted me to give this to you,” he chokes in the middle of his sentence, a closed fist is placed in your direction as wanda gives you a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder. you can’t manage to find the words not yet. you had spent the past day in a half trying to pick up whatever pieces of yourself remained. you knew you would outlive natasha - it’s a conversation that was very prominent in the relationship but never did you think it would be this soon.

   when the cool metal reaches your calloused palms, you could feel your heart being ripped from your chest. you laugh. not because the funeral or the situation is funny but because it’s ironic. ironic how the two of you had the same idea yet neither of you would get to  biting at the inside of you cheek as you reached in your pocket to take out the ring you were meant to give her. it’s ironic how the two of you both had the same idea - 

   “she said something. ‘with a love that shall not die—’”

   “’till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old,” you’re shaking your head now, raising the ring into the light to reveal the words: until the next, engraved in it. it’s a real tear-jerker - you aren’t sure what’s keeping you from doubling over and screaming to whatever listened that you needed to have her back. it wasn’t fair. why is it that the universe had to be so cruel to you once more? was the loss of your home? your people? your first love? had that not been enough? had you not suffered enough?

   but you couldn’t. you couldn’t bring yourself to cry. not anymore. “i guess this is my curse. maybe gods do not get happy endings.”

                    3 DAYS LATER.

     “WILL YOU BE JOINING ME?” asked thor as the two of you overlooked new asgard. thor, who had his arms behind his back, turns to you to take in your new look. his eyes trail to the necklace (wanda had gifted you a small chain to wear both of the rings you and natasha were meant to gift to each other). you keep your arms folded across your chest, taking in the view one last time before turning to the god, a sad smile evident on your tired face.

   “not this time i’m afraid your grace.” you replied, clearing your throat as you tried to find the right words to explain to him what lied ahead of you. “there’s a woman i must find. i sent my crows to aid the search but until then.. natasha and i were looking at a home, in the mountains, you know? we were going to get a dog and all that.” 

   “oh.” 

   “but i’m never too far. you know that.” 

   “i know. but it’s time we start forging our own fates isn’t it?” 

   you chuckle, leaning in to press a kiss against his forehead, a gesture that was very common in between the two of you. one that’s quickly followed by a bone crushing hug - 

   “be kind to yourself [your name]. i will be fine.”

   “and you to yourself as well. the crows will always watch over you thor.” 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ ⋆☾

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@willowtree42095   ♡  @the-fandoms-georgie

[loki-hargreeves]

You Flower, You Feast - Loki x Reader [PART 2]

[PART 1]

Warnings: pregnancy, relationship issues, morning sickness, angst, fighting, flinching, falling ill, magical medical procedures, mentions of death (possibility of dying, but no one dies), mentions of torture, hurt/comfort, bittersweet fluff and implied smut (love making) at the end

Word Count: 8,1K

Summary: Part 2 of ‘you flower, you feast’. You’re pregnant, but you’re hiding the fact from Loki. After his return, he has been different and you haven’t been able to confide in him like you did before. The truth is revealed after you end up in the infirmary after getting sick. The fear of almost losing you makes Loki realize that things need to change, and he finally tells you what happened to him after he fell from the bridge. It seems like he’s finally back again. 

Author’s Note: You don’t really have to read the first part in order to read this, but it would help paint a fuller picture. The first part has smut, but the plot is quite long as well. I hope you’ll enjoy this! Requested by @sunshineyrosie​

   THIRD POV

The sickness took over Y/N by surprise. She had just woken up and she immediately knew that something was wrong. Without wasting any time, she got up from the safety of the warm bed, running toward the bathroom that was in her and Loki’s shared quarters. By the time she reached the toilet, everything she had eaten the previous day came up, making her eyes and nose sting. It made her stomach sick when she coughed up everything which left a foul taste in her mouth. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she had woken up so abruptly. When she was finished, she cleaned up after herself and had to rinse her mouth thoroughly. 

A thought crossed her mind as she wondered why she was so nauseous. Could it be? Could she be pregnant? 

It had been a few weeks since she and Loki had decided to try for a baby. For countless nights, they had been tangled in a rough dance and her body had every mark to prove that. Not that it didn’t feel great, because the rough sex with Loki was mind-blowing, but that was all it was; rough. Loki was still not letting her in. He was hiding behind his tall and strong walls and she was afraid he’d never break them down. It felt like he used the sex as a distraction. 

Y/N put a hand on her stomach and realized that if she was carrying a child - their child - it would change their lives. Would Loki change? What if he stayed the same, distant and rough man. Could that be good for a child? 

“Are you in there?” Loki’s voice startled her. He hadn’t been in bed when she had woken up, but now he was right behind the bathroom door. 

Although she was still in shock, she tried to push her thoughts away. Her hand dropped to her side and she cleared her throat, “Yeah,” letting him know she was awake and well. 

“Is everything alright?” Loki wondered. It was sweet of him to care. Perhaps he was hoping to hear some positive news, but she wasn’t going to tell him. Not yet. 

Y/N took one last glance in the mirror, noticing just how tired she looked. Perhaps a bath would make her feel better and more at ease? She decided to get the water running.

“I’m fine, Loki. I’m going to take a bath,” She let him know, leaving an open invitation for him to join her. 

The door opened and Loki walked in. He had magicked his clothes on because once they were in private, they came off by vanishing into thin air. “Mind if I join you?” 

The water began to flow silently into the big bathtub. Surely, the hot water would make her feel better. Perhaps Loki would benefit from the relaxation it offered too. 

“Sounds great,” She smiled, but she didn’t sound too convincing. Her morning sickness was fresh on her mind and all she could think about was the possibility of being pregnant. For some reason, it absolutely terrified her. If only Loki was alright, so she could confide in him. How would he react to the news? Would he be mad if she hid it from him? 

As the two of them sunk into the water that smelled of lavender and other expensive herbs and oils, Y/N leaned against Loki’s body. She was still exhausted and she wished that even for a moment, they could just be like this. It reminded her of the good old days when they were so happy. Everything had changed. Being like that, so close was lovely. 

Loki’s skilled fingers traced patterns over her exposed skin. He was careful not to apply too much pressure to the fresh love-bites and bruises among the old ones. If anyone saw her like that, it would be obvious that she was his, and vice versa. Loki’s back was certainly covered in scratches.

Y/N wondered if Loki could feel the way her heart was pounding in her chest. She wondered if he could tell she was troubled by her own thoughts. Did he still care? 

“What’s on your mind, dear?” He noticed that something was different. For weeks, everything had been out of the ordinary. Was he simply imagining it or was she distracted by something? 

She blinked a few times, hoping to get rid of the sleepiness that still had a hold on her. Then she faced Loki, searching for something familiar in his eyes. She knew that he was still in there, and sometimes it showed, like in moments like these. 

What is on my mind? She thought. She wanted to know what happened to Loki on the bridge because Thor and Odin refused to tell her the details. What happened to him after that? Where had he been and who had he been with? Why did Loki show up on Midgard with the goal of taking over the realm? Why had he visited Earth out of all places before coming to her? Had he missed her? Because she had missed him more than words could’ve ever expressed. The nights she spent in the palace where she couldn’t escape his memory, thinking he was dead, had been absolutely dreadful. She had thought of him every single day. 

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” Y/N sighed and decided to keep things to herself, for now. It was better that way. Perhaps Loki saw that she was lying, but he decided not to poke holes in her story. Deep down, he feared he might’ve already known the answer. Guilt was tormenting him already but he had no clue how to deal with it. Where would he even begin? It was easier to shut her out. 

                                                           A few weeks passed, and she held tight onto her secret. By now it was clear as daylight that she was expecting a child, their child. It should’ve been easy to tell Loki, but so far she kept it to herself. Sometimes it felt like Y/N was trying to fool her own mind and lie to herself. Despite it all, she knew that it was wrong. At some point, he would find out whether she liked it or not and she knew it would be best if Loki heard it from her. Yes, he wanted a child. But how would he react? Was he ready? Was he having these fantasies merely so they would stay together? What if he didn’t actually want a baby and he’d be mad? 

Y/N hated the thoughts she had. She absolutely despised the fact she feared him for no good reason. Loki had never hurt her and he had never implied that he would, yet her mind twisted things. He had changed, and she still didn’t know why. Would she ever see the old him again? 

It was midday and the sun was bright enough that even inside in the great library in the palace, she could read with ease without additional lights. With a cup of tea by her side and a book in her hand, she focused on the fictional world she was reading about, completely blocking out her real life for just a moment. In stories that had never happened, nothing mattered. She could look into a character’s life and worry about their problems instead of her own. Besides, for a few days now she had felt sick to her stomach and a headache had been prominent for days on end now. Not even her own magic had pushed it away which was unusual, but she assumed it was because of the pregnancy. Therefore she didn’t think to mention her odd symptoms to anyone. Not that anyone would’ve cared much of a headache anyway. 

When she put the book down, it was much darker. Through the sheer curtains, she could see the sun was setting, which painted all of Asgard golden and pink. When had she finished her tea?

“Y/N?” Loki’s familiar voice caught her attention. Time had passed quicker than she could’ve expected, and she realized that she had forgotten to meet him. They had planned on eating dinner together that day. 

Quickly, she put the book down and she got up, noticing how stiff she felt after having been frozen on one spot for several hours probably. For a moment, she felt dizzy which she blamed on for standing up so fast.

“I’m here!” She let him know about her whereabouts as slowly the occurrences of the protagonist faded away from her mind. 

As Loki walked up to her, he seemed relieved - but only for a short while. 

“I was worried when you didn’t show up,” He said honestly. It was possibly the most caring thing he had said since his return, yet he was probably disappointed. Y/N quickly wiped away her bitter thoughts and focused on the brighter side. Despite how guilty she felt about missing their dinner date, she thought it was a great opportunity to try to dig deeper into what happened to him. Perhaps he’d open up?

“I’m so sorry, Loki, I am,” Y/N apologized sincerely, closing the gap between them. She felt hopeful when Loki let her take his hands in hers. His were always so soft, even when his touch was rougher than before between the sheets these days. His hands never changed. “I wasn’t feeling well and when I opened the book, I didn’t even notice how much time had passed until now.”

Loki overlooked what she said about feeling unwell. Perhaps it was wrong but he assumed she was avoiding him. Truthfully, he knew he had been a lot to handle recently. Hell, if he had been in her shoes, he would’ve probably avoided himself too. Loki couldn’t be too mad at her, because he did blame himself a lot. If only he knew how to change. His mind would surely be the end of him. 

“Hey,” Y/N noticed how lost he seemed in his own head, “Are you alright?”

A smile spread on his face, completely disregarding the sad trace that glimmered in his eyes a moment ago. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

So defensive, she thought. “If there’s anything you want to talk about, I hope you know I’m here for you.”

Loki recognized that look on her face. It was pity, and he hated it. Loki didn’t want her pity, he didn’t feel deserving of it. 

He pulled his hands out of her gentle grasp, “Do you think I can’t take care of myself?” 

The way he assumed things that she would never think was infuriating. Perhaps he was taking a toll on Y/N’s nerves because her headache was getting worse and she felt her blood boiling beneath her skin. She didn’t know how much longer she could hold up with his, and pretend as nothing had ever happened, or how long she could keep it a secret that she was carrying their child and she was unsure whether or not it was a good idea to have this baby. The guilt and pain were tormenting her. 

“That’s not what I said, Loki-”

“You were thinking it, were you not?” Loki didn’t know why he said that, but now it was too late. He didn’t wish to fight with her, but it seemed like his own thoughts and feelings were about to pour over the brim. 

A sigh escaped her lips and she felt like sitting down. The world around her was spinning and she wasn’t sure if it was just her nerves burning up that was causing it. It grew worse at an alarming rate and she felt cold sweat on her skin. 

“Don’t twist my words, Loki,” She groaned, more annoyed at the sick feeling that was overwhelming her rather than his attitude. 

Those words she said were a sharp reminder of the moment Loki shared with Odin. When he lifted the ice casket, when he confronted his so-called father and found out that he had been taken from Jotunheim as an infant. 

Loki’s heart was breaking in his chest piece by piece. The lie he had grown up in was now shattering and he saw through the cracks. Everything was beginning to make more sense. The pain and pure agony he felt was barely contained. He kept his teary-eyed glued onto his father, Odin, who wasn’t that much of his father after all. 

“The casket wasn’t the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”

Odin looked shocked, but he didn’t look sad. It was like he cared more about being caught in a lie rather than being caught as a liar and a terrible father. Odin never cared about Loki, did he? Loki began to believe that he had never even been loved by him. Why did Odin know about Loki’s blue skin? Why did he know that it wasn’t a curse? It should’ve been a major shock to anyone, but Odin knew...

“No,” Odin eventually answered him.

Loki stopped walking once they were close enough for his liking. He wanted Odin to see his wrath and fury, and he wanted to see the shame on Odin’s face. 

“In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby - small for a giant’s offspring,” Odin recalled the day he found Loki. Of course, he didn’t tell Loki the exact story of the events that occurred. Odin wanted it to seem more glorious and heroic than it actually was. Loki would never know. “Abandoned, suffering....left to die.”

“Laufey’s son,” Odin confirmed.

“Laufey’s son,” Loki had to repeat that in order to process what he just heard. They were only two words, but he felt tears gathering in his eyes and he was choking up which he tried to ease by swallowing thickly, nervously. 

“Yes,” Odin nodded. He was oddly calm.

Loki stood there in shock, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. As if it wasn’t worse enough that his family had lied to him his entire life, now he was hearing that his actual family hadn’t wanted him either. Could it be true? That he was a prince that no one wanted to see become a king? Had he ever been worthy of love? What would Y/N think of him once she’d find out about his true origin? Would she stop loving him? 

“Why?” Loki struggled as he searched for the words he wanted to use. His thoughts were racing in his head and he felt like he would go mad if he tried to think too much right now. “You were knee-deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me?” 

“You were an innocent child-”

Loki could smell Odin’s lie from a mile away and it fueled his rage, “No. You took me for a purpose, what was it?” Loki had to know, even if he feared it would torment him for the rest of his life. There had to be a reason, Odin didn’t care for abandoned babies - otherwise, the palace would be full of children.

Odin was shocked that Loki had interrupted him, let alone refused to listen to his sorrow story. How would he react if he told him the real truth? Odin wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

The silence in the vault was uncomfortable, and it was burning on their skin. For Loki, the silence was dreadful and he couldn’t take it, 

“TELL ME!” He demanded loudly, his painful cry echoing throughout the entire room and surely beyond the golden walls. 

Odin couldn’t look Loki in the eye, “I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace through you.”

Tears rolled down Loki’s face now, which he couldn’t control anymore. What Odin said was almost worse than not knowing at all. Odin had only seen an opportunity in Loki as an object, as a piece in negotiation. 

“Why?” 

“But those plans no longer matter,” Odin was quick to reassure him, but Loki doubted that. How could he ever trust another word that came out of his mouth ever again? That man had lied about Loki’s entire existence, made him believe that his own race was the pure evil enemy of the nine realms. Loki had heard Odin bash about how he had defeated the Jotuns in battle, and killed unimaginable amounts of Jotun soldiers. He had said those things as he kept the secret of Loki’s true nature. It was gross, it made Loki taste muck in his mouth.

“So I’m no more than another stolen relic,” Loki looked at the other stolen things in the vault that he was surrounded by, which was incredibly ironic, “locked up, here, until you might have use of me?” 

Odin didn’t enjoy being talked back to. He couldn’t foresee this ever happening and he couldn’t imagine what Loki was going through. The old king could only think about himself, about how he had faced this before with Hela. Why were his children not good enough? 

“Why do you twist my words?” 

Odin’s question echoed in Loki’s head and for a moment, he forgot the conversation that he had with his wife, one that was quickly escalating into a fight. It was a miracle it hadn’t happened sooner.

“Loki,” Y/N noticed that somehow, her words had affected him terribly. She wanted to know why. One side of her mind told her to give it up, to keep pretending like everything was fine because clearly Loki was still hurt. Another part of her wanted to encourage him to open up, to trust her again. She wanted to help him. The rough sex and silence afterwards would only get toxic and it wasn’t good for any of them long term. 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Loki made up his mind. 

Being pushed away constantly was not only frustrating but painful. When they got married, they had become a team. They had to be there for each other through the good and the bad. She had promised to be his rock, to be the one he could confide in no matter what. Suddenly, guilt overwhelmed her. He had promised that to her as well, and yet she hadn’t told Loki about the baby. 

“How can you say that if you don’t even try to make me understand?” She wondered, almost demanding him to say something, anything at all other than dismissive sentences and strange gazes.

Where would he even begin? It had been so long, and Loki had seen so much. Would he tell her about what happened on Asgard? Or should he begin with the titan that still haunted him like a shadow. 

“Loki, what happened to you on that bridge?” Y/N dared to ask him about something that surely was a sore spot. No one had told her, although she had asked many times. Thor had tried to come up with a heroic explanation for it all, but Y/N knew it to be all lies. Something darker had happened and she wanted to know so that she could help Loki. 

Had they really not told her? Loki was surprised at how little she truly knew. A broken smile spread on his face. Odin and Thor hadn’t had the guts to tell her the truth. They were so cowardly, it was almost comedic in a way. 

“What did they tell you happened?” 

“They told me lie after lie. I don’t care about their version of the story. Loki, the only story I care about is yours,” She let out a shaky breath. The spinning was getting worse by the second. Had she consumed something bad?

Loki wanted to tell her, but he knew the truth would put her through a lot of sorrow. Would she still care for him if she knew everything?

He held onto his words for a while longer. Every cell in his body was burning with longing, wanting to tell her everything, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Besides, he kept thinking about Odin which agitated him. Why did he have to make it into every aspect of his life? 

Loki fell silent and watched her walk away. Instead of trying to reach for him, she walked to the nearest bookcase and leaned against the fine wood. 

“What’s going on?” Loki realized how oddly she was behaving. Perhaps she was genuinely feeling under the weather? His anger began to fade as it was replaced by worry. 

“Nothing!” She hissed, lying, but only because she didn’t want to focus on her. 

Loki couldn’t bear hearing her lies, as ironic as it was. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N, I can tell that something is off!”

As he spoke with a loud voice and walked towards her, Y/N flinched. She didn’t mean to, but the loud noise and his abrupt movement had startled her. Her hand quickly covered her stomach, which was completely unintentional and her eyes widened in shock. Why did she react like that?

Loki stilled completely, unable to believe what happened. Did she think he would harm her? Was she afraid of him? 

“Did you think I was going to hurt you?” He muttered in disbelief. Seeing the look on her face made Loki feel disgusted with himself. He felt like a monster. 

Y/N let her hand fall to her side. 

“No, I just...I don’t know, Loki,” She felt awful for even thinking about it. That was Loki! Her husband. The man she was in love with. If it wasn’t for the torturous headache and nausea she was suffering from, she would’ve hugged him and reassured Loki that she wasn’t afraid of him, but right now all she could do was  lean against the steady bookcase. Y/N was convinced that her balance would betray her if she tried to stand all on her own. 

It was definitely not something she could’ve ignored furthermore. In a desperate attempt to make things right, she tried to walk to Loki. Although she was lightheaded and everything around her began to turn into a blurry mess, she knew one thing; she needed Loki. She couldn’t let him think he was a monstrous creature. She hadn’t meant to flinch like that - it just happened. 

Whenever times were troubling or she was afraid, she always wanted to be with him.

Loki noticed how quickly her demeanor was changing. It almost looked like she was intoxicated. The way she massaged her temples and how she leaned into her own touch, looking dizzy even though she was standing, was strange. As he looked closer, he noticed that her body was trembling ever so slightly. The sight of her like that calmed his anger since it got replaced by worry. 

“Y/N?” He wanted to see her face. Was she crying?

She took a step toward him and almost tripped over her own feet. Loki caught her in his arms just in time. 

“That’s it, I’m taking you to the infirmary,” Loki made up his mind, past conversation now long forgotten. The only thing that mattered was her well-being. Frankly, seeing her like that terrified Loki. During all the years they had spent together, he had never seen her like this and it was more than alarming. 

The walk from the palace library to the infirmary wasn’t that long, but it felt like it took them hours. With every step they took, she seemed to get weaker. By the time they were walking down the hallway to the infirmary, Loki had to wrap his arm around her waist to keep her on her feet - otherwise she would’ve fallen on the cold, hard floor. 

The healers had seen them coming. Without a shared word being said, they took Y/N from him and placed her on the bright inspection bed nearby where they could figure out what was wrong with her. Loki wanted to stay, but everything escalated incredibly fast, leaving him in the side. There was no way he would’ve pushed himself between the people who were trying to help her.

The words everyone said merged together, and it seemed like he could only hear his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. He just stood there and watched as the love of his life was surrounded by the best healers in the nine realms and even they seemed panicked. Something was terribly wrong. 

The gold magic surrounded her and Loki caught a glimpse of the soul forge that the healers were examining. Even if he had wanted to focus on it, he wasn’t sure if he could’ve. Loki looked at Y/N again whose eyes were closed by now and she looked to be asleep, only he knew that she wasn’t resting. 

He didn’t really phantom how much time had passed until a healer walked up to him, gesturing Loki to walk further away.

“We need to use drastic magic in order to heal her,” She explained carefully, not wanting to upset the prince.

“What’s wrong with her?” Loki had to know, worry clear in his voice. 

The healer looked lost, almost nervous. “There is a blockage in her head. The magic it requires to heal her is strong and we do not know if the baby will survive it.”

The baby?

Loki’s mouth fell open but he didn’t find any words. He was already in shock when she fell ill so fast, but to hear about a baby was like a bucket of ice cold water was doused over him. She was pregnant?

The lady knew that there was no time they could waste, so she was forced to move on, “Since you are the father, we need your opinion on the procedure. Are you willing to risk losing the baby-”

“Yes!” Loki couldn’t believe they were asking him that. “Yes, please, I just need her to survive.” He didn’t want to lose the child that he just learned existed, but most importantly he couldn’t imagine losing her. Nothing else mattered than his wife’s well-being. If he lost Y/N, he would lose himself. As tragic as the idea was of possibly losing their unborn child, it would be even worse to lose her. After all, there was only one of Y/N. They could always try to start a family of their own again if they wanted to.

They took her away and Loki was forced to wait outside the infirmary. He had no clue what they were doing to her, and he couldn’t just stand in the hallway and wait. Loki was going to retreat to the privacy of their shared quarters, but it felt like his legs had turned to pillars of ice. As he stood there, taken back by shock and tears that threatened to spill from his eyes, he heard footsteps coming his way. As Loki glanced in the direction, he saw Lady Sif walking there along with Frigga. Right now, the last thing he desired was to talk to anyone. 

“What happened?” Frigga seemed concerned, looking into the infirmary and then at her son who had tears in his green eyes. It hurt her to see him like that. 

“I don’t know,” Loki realized he hadn’t spoken in  a while. He wasn’t sure how long he had stood there, but by now it was dark outside. His heart was still racing and it felt like the world was caving in on him. “She fell ill so suddenly, they said it’s serious,” Loki pushed the words out of his mouth. Saying it out loud just made it real, and now he felt like crying the pain away. 

Lady Sif didn’t say anything, but Loki felt a pair of judging eyes on his skin. She probably thought it was Loki’s fault somehow,

Was it?

He couldn’t help but wonder if he had noticed these signs sooner, would she be alright?

Frigga pulled Loki into a hug and he didn’t resist it. In fact, it felt comforting to be held. Had it been any other day recently, he would’ve pushed her away but not now. Loki hugged her back and wished that Sif would turn around. As he leaned against his mother’s touch, he felt his own tears rolling down his face silently. 

Y/N was pregnant, but he wouldn’t tell them. Not now. 

“She’ll be alright,” Frigga attempted to comfort him. There was a certainty in her voice that Loki wanted to find solace in. He knew there was no way she could tell whether or not Y/N would be alright, but in that moment it was nice to believe that. 

               The headache had turned into a dull pain, which felt so good compared to what it had been before. It was warm in the air around Y/N and she felt oddly comfortable. She was waking up from sleep, but she couldn’t remember falling asleep. Why was it so dark? 

As she opened her eyes, she quickly learned where she was. The palace infirmary. The healer’s weren’t anywhere to be seen, but someone was holding her hand. 

It was Loki.

He was awake and he looked at her with glistening eyes. She noticed just how exhausted he looked and it made her heart sting. 

The baby!

Y/N had to know the baby was safe. In a moment of worry and confusion, she put her hand on her belly and opened her mouth, “is it safe?” 

Then she realized she had never told him. For so many mornings now she had been woken up because of the feisty little thing, that she had grown accustomed to it. If Loki hadn’t known, now he certainly did.

“The baby is safe, Y/N,” Loki finally spoke. He didn’t sound resentful at all. Instead, there was a calm in his voice, because of how relieved he was. Not only did the baby make it, but so did she. The healers had worked their magic just in time and therefore both of them had been saved. For a moment, Loki had been afraid that he had lost them. 

Guilt began to crawl beneath her skin. Although she rested comfortably on the soft bed, she didn’t feel good. Nothing had gone to plan. Loki had deserved to find out about the pregnancy differently. 

“I was afraid I’d lose you,” Loki admitted, his grip on her hand tightening ever so slightly. It felt so good to hold her, to know she was alive and well. 

Slowly, she tilted her head so she could face him. Had Loki been crying? The sight of him like that, with slumped shoulders, messy hair and sad eyes was heartbreaking. As if he hadn’t gone through enough already. 

“Thank you,” She barely got the words out of her mouth. Loki had been the one who took her there in time. Surely, if he hadn’t come to the library, she would’ve been sprawled on the couch, book in hand and with a terrible headache  - or worse. She didn’t want to think about it. 

“They said you had something in your head. It could’ve...it could’ve taken your life,” Loki recalled what the healers had explained to him as he had listened half-heartedly. His mind had been tampered with worried thoughts and guilt-riddled ideas. All that mattered was that they were both safe and sound. 

Whatever it was, Y/N was just glad they were alright. All she could think about was the baby. She felt bad for ignoring her symptoms for so long. Had she endangered the fetus? What had caused it? Would she ever know?

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” By now she had teared up. The words struggled to pour from her quivering lips. 

Loki brushed his fingers on her face, attempting to comfort her the best way he could. His touch was so gentle, so affectionate. It sent shivers down her spine. The gentle touch reminded her of how things used to be. 

“How long have you known?” Loki was almost afraid to ask. 

“A few weeks. I wasn’t sure until recently.”

“Right…” He couldn’t blame her for hiding the fact. During the several hours he had spent sitting by her bedside, he had thought over the time they had spent together in the past few weeks since his return. The fact that she could feel guilty about it was mind boggling to him. Loki was angry at himself for just how much he had pushed her away. It was no wonder she didn’t fully trust him. Each time she had tried to connect with him, he had turned a blind eye or he had distracted both of them with sex. As he thought of it, it made his stomach twist in knots. 

Y/N could tell that Loki was deep in thought. She squeezed his hand lightly, “I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Loki was quick to reassure her. Once again, he felt tears in his eyes, blurring his vision. He hated crying, but sometimes he couldn’t make it stop. It was time for them to fix things.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N blinked and felt tears sliding down across her face and her neck. Despite his comforting words, she felt guilty. The pain she had carried in her heart for weeks now was seeing daylight and it felt fresh. It was all so overwhelming. 

Loki leaned closer to her and pressed a kiss on her forehead. She could feel how his lips were trembling ever so slightly.

“It’s going to be alright,” Loki whispered after a while. “I promise. I’ve shut you out for far too long.”

Was he going to open up to her? 

Loki recognized the hopeful gleam in her teary eyes. He knew how important it was for both of them to discuss what had happened. They couldn’t move on if they pretended that he had never been gone in the first place. But he wasn’t going to speak of it now when she was recovering. 

“I love you, Loki,” She murmured softly and managed to crack a smile. 

His heart swelled with affection. God, he loved her more than she could ever know. Loki couldn’t understand how he had treated her, it made him angry. 

“I love you too,” He returned the words to her. Loki might’ve been a master at lying, but when he professed his love to her, no one could deny the sincerity in his words. 

Carefully, he moved his hand and placed it over her stomach, where he figured the baby was. He felt goosebumps all over his skin as he laid his palm flat over her. Knowing that their child was growing there was astonishing. Loki felt so lucky that he was going to start a family with her. 

No more words were needed. Y/N could tell what he was thinking. He loved both of them so much.

                                A few days later, she was feeling much better. The healers had told her to take it easy for a while, especially now as she was pregnant. Returning to her and Loki’s quarters was exciting. Finally, some proper privacy. 

Ever since the incident, something changed in Loki. Perhaps it was the startling revelation that he almost lost her that changed him. Time was precious, even for them. He had been away from her long enough and he wanted to make up for the wasted time. 

Although they had been quite happy for the past few days, he knew it would all come to an end, at least for a while as he’d open up about what he had gone through since he last was on Asgard. 

Candles had lit the room, making it comfortable and warm. There were a few candles on their nightstands, others on the shelves nearby and some were levitating midair with the little help of magic. 

Loki had certainly made her feel welcome in their private space again, after she had stayed away for only a few days. As she saw the tea on a tray by the bed, her heart swelled in her chest. It was so sweet of him. 

“You didn’t have to,” She turned to Loki who was right by her side. The joy on her face was irreplaceable to him. 

“But I wanted to,” Loki reassured her.

It had been yet another long day and they couldn’t wait to get wrapped in the blankets and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Despite how scared they both had been when she ended up in the infirmary, the time afterwards had been wonderful. Loki had finally softened up again, at least to her. 

The two of them sat down on the bed with warm teacups in their hands. For a while, they embraced the silence that settled around them. It was nice. 

“You know,” Y/N was the first one to speak, “I’m having a great time, but I was wondering if you’d like that. It’s okay if you don’t.”

“I suppose now is a good time,” Loki’s reply surprised her.

She put her nearly empty cup away as Loki magicked his on the nightstand. The mood shifted slightly, but it was less dramatic than anything that they had went though in the past few weeks. They sat on the bed in a way they could face each other and they were still cosy. 

“Where do I even begin?” Loki laughed, but he didn’t sound full of joy. He was genuinely nervous. No one had ever heard this story. No one knew. 

Y/N put her hand on his shoulder, attempting to make him relax as much as he possibly could. She sensed that whatever it was that he was going to say, it would be extremely difficult for him. “Were you alone?” She asked him, initiating the conversation. By now, even her heart was racing in her chest. The thought of him being all alone for so long made her sad. She hoped he had good company at least.

Although he sat safely on his bed, Loki could feel the vastness of space around him. He could see the darkness and the stars that were so incredibly far away. There was nothing but stone beneath his feet and he was cold, inside out. 

“I was found by a titan, who calls himself Thanos,” Saying his name felt wrong. It was like fire burning on his tongue. “For a while, I was trapped with him. Wherever he went, I did too. I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Loki’s entire demeanor changed. He couldn’t look her in the eye. It almost seemed like he was mentally in an entirely different place. Seeing him like that was so unusual for her, and it made her feel terrible. 

She put her hand on his arm, running her fingers up and down his skin every so softly, to remind him that she was right by his side.

“When he found me, I was weak. I tried to put up a fight, and he saw what I was capable of. When his puppets showed up, I was outnumbered,” Loki felt ashamed that he hadn’t been able to fight them off. They were more powerful than he liked to admit. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” She reassured him as she recognized the hint of guilt and shame on his face. Loki had been weak when he fell. Most would’ve died after being sucked up by the portal and being thrown out into the emptiness of outer space. The energy was so strong it could end someone’s life in seconds. It was a miracle he survived that alone.

“Thanos wanted me to work for him, to do his dirty work. I refused,” He smiled but it was an empty smile, “which resulted in months of torture.” His smile vanished completely, leaving behind only a shadow of misery. 

Although she had expected something awful, she hadn’t thought she’d hear that. Suddenly, it made sense why he had been like that when he returned. Why it looked like he hadn’t slept in months, why he was afraid to put pressure on his other leg almost like he was in pain. Why he had shut everyone out completely and distanced himself physically and emotionally. 

Y/N wanted to say something, but it felt like she had eaten flour. Her mouth was dry and she was speechless. Instead, she pulled him closer ever so slightly, hoping to comfort him with her actions. 

Loki let himself be embraced by her. In fact, when she wrapped her arms around his body and his face nuzzled the crook of her neck, which made it so easy to inhale her sweet scent, he realized how much he needed it. Loki thought he would have spoken more without getting so emotional, but to even think about the pain he had endured was hard. It made him cold to his core and he felt nauseous all over again. When he hugged her back and let himself get lost in her arms, he could begin to heal. 

“I don’t think...I would’ve survived if I hadn’t thought of you,” He said so softly he wasn’t sure if she heard him.

She did.

Picturing Loki being tortured by a titan made Y/N so angry. She hated the fact that someone had made him feel so terrible, forcing him to feel so much pain after everything that he had gone through. Hearing that he thought of her when he was going through it all broke her heart. If only she had been there, right by his side. 

“You didn’t deserve that, Loki,” She was surprised she was able to speak. Her lips were quivering as she tried to stay strong for his sake. 

Her words were warm. They pushed the cold he was surrounded by away. Perhaps she was right?

Loki pulled back ever so slightly, because he wanted to face her. When he did, he was surprised to see that she was holding back tears. He already had silent tears on his skin that he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. What had he done to deserve her?

“I agreed to work for him,” He revealed, skipping ahead of time because there was no way he could’ve gone into details about the nightmare Thanos put him through. Most of the memories were dark, just barely there. It was like his mind didn’t want to remember the tiny details. 

“I saw places I didn’t know existed - far beyond the nine realms. I became friends with Nebula. She was Thanos’ daughter,” Loki wasn’t sure if they were quite friends, but she seemed to understand him despite her harsh words and mean attitude. Out of all the children, only Nebula had been someone Loki could tolerate. “We were supposed to find something. I suppose they were called the infinity stones.”

Y/N could’ve sworn she had heard someone mentioning them before, but it didn’t ring any bells now. It did make her curious. Why wouldn’t Thanos go seek them himself? “Did you find them?”

“Well, soft of, yes. Thanos sent me to Midgard to fetch the tesseract. In exchange I was going to be freed,” He explained why he had gone to New York. It had been quite recent, but it felt like so long ago. Loki had been so scared but incredibly determined to get the job done too. He thought it was the only way he’d ever get to see her again, and live a day without excruciating suffering. 

Y/N suddenly understood more than before. He hadn’t wanted to go to Earth out of his own will. He was on a mission to win his freedom. She wondered what had happened. Thanos didn’t have the tesseract, but Loki was right there by her side. Did it mean he was safe and free?

“I’m happy you’re here,” She let him know. Having Loki back was the greatest gift she could’ve ever asked for. Although the things that had happened on Midgard weren’t good, she wasn’t mad. She was more furious over the fact that Thor, and others who had done much worse things, pretended that Loki was some kind of villain and they were the heroes.

“I was so scared that Thanos would come here,” and I still am, he thought but left it out. “I failed to deliver the tesseract,Y/N. They…”Loki couldn’t say it. He blinked, and remembered the Other who had threatened him repeatedly. 

...If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can not find you. He will make you long for something sweet as pain… 

“You don’t have to say it,” Y/N noticed that he got lost in his memories again. She understood if some of them were too hard to speak of now. He had said so much already. It couldn’t have been easy for him. “You’re safe, you’re here with us again. We have all the time in the world to speak of this, one step at the time.”

Gosh, her words were keeping him sane. Loki was able to take a deep breath as he heard that, keeping himself grounded there. He wasn’t with Thanos, and he certainly wasn’t being harmed. He was in the arms of his wife and they were in the palace of Asgard with numerous guards and warriors outside their door. It was quite the resistance if Thanos or his children would show up.

“I think I’ll have to continue tomorrow, dear.”

“That’s okay, Loki. I understand,” She was so understanding.

As Loki looked at her, the daggers in his heart twisted. Thanos knew that she existed. Thanos also knew how to torture others, and the worst torture Loki could’ve possibly imagined was that Thanos would find her. There was no way he could ever let that happen. Loki knew he had to do something to get Thanos off his tracks. Could he make the titan believe he had died? It was something he had to think of sooner than later.

“I love you,” Loki had to voice his feelings. He caught her by surprise when he leaned in for a kiss, but she didn’t seem to mind it. Instead, Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her head, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. This time it was sweet and tender. His hands cupped her face and the back of her head and it was sincere. The kiss was bittersweet. It tasted salty like their tears, but it was so passionate. They truly loved one another. 

When their lips parted, they stayed close. Their foreheads touched gently and they both closed their eyes, enjoying each other’s presences for a moment. They let reality sink in.

For the first time in months, Loki felt more like himself again. A weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He was beginning to deal with his issues. There was hope for the future. 

“I love you too,” Y/N exclaimed after a while. She placed a sweet kiss on Loki’s neck, then another. There were so many kisses they had to catch up with. She wanted to touch him with love and kindness where others had hurt him, until there wasn’t a trace left of the others. 

And Loki wanted to be pampered by her, to get lost in her and forget about all the rest. 

His hands travelled down her side, slowly but surely making their way to her hips. Loki wanted her closer, but for the first time in so long, he didn’t know how to ask her. Usually, it was so easy to pull her in and take her, but not now. Everything felt so much more intimate and he felt slightly lost. It had been so long since the last time they had made love. 

She felt the way he touched her, so needy, silently asking her to get closer, so she did. Carefully, she straddled his lap which made it so much easier for her to hold him, to touch him and to kiss him. Loki’s hands never left her body as she sat on his lap. There was no rush whatsoever. They wanted to enjoy every little moment they could share. 

“Are you sure you want this?” Y/N wondered. After all, he had talked about quite heavy things. Was he in the right mindset? 

Loki almost yelled out how much he desired her, but managed to contain himself. “I need you, Y/N.” He needed to feel her, he needed to make her feel his love. He needed to be one with her. 

“Okay,” She quickly replied with a small smile. Once again, their lips met in a loving kiss. It felt wonderful. Between the kisses, she made sure to tell him sweet little nothings, “I’m here,” “I got you,” “Everything’s going to be okay.”

A/N: I hope you liked it! I originally planned on having fluffy smut in this, but it would’ve been so long. I’ll have to write sweet Loki smut separately in the future. Please leave your feedback. It always makes me so happy and it means a lot to me. Thank you!

Forever Taglist:  @iraniq  @embrycallsgirl  @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho  @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13  @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna  @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing

Loki taglist: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02​

[theangelshavethephonebox]

Wow this is kind of insane that you're tagging me because you are a bit mythic to me ngl. Thanks for the tag!

I have so so so many WIPs/ideas I came up for and am leaving to rot ngl. This is so long that I'm putting it under a readmore lol

Doctor Who

Partly published:

Fixing your mistakes (one chapter published)

Biting you, with love (one chapter left)

Masterful Misdemeanors of a Monkish Nature (one chapter published)

In the Forest (Academy Era)

Series: When we were ten (one story published- all in this list unpublished):

Before

Deca Drabbles (a list of planned fics)

Do you think stars have feelings

Eighth Man Bound

If you're toxic, and I'm toxic, who's flying the TARDIS?

In which Jelpax gets something published

Paps

Sand and trees seen through the years

Skirts

Series: Patience Series (a planned series but no individual fics in seperate docs yet).

Series: The Ten Bonds Project:

Built for War

I regret not following you home

May I have this dance

Sometimes, it's magic

The Ten Bonds Project

We would always have been renegades

I won't bother listing my finished stuff, but I do keep them in the same folder lol.

Longfics:

Cars

Centennial revelations

Child of Hope

Ghosts after Sunrise

High and Noble Houses

Together after the war (human au)

Marraige

Pondfeels

Promised land

Rewind

She loves me

Support group for the doctor's companions

Tales from the Front

That CIA agent

Watching Doctor Who

Zephyr and Thira

Time Lord culture/ your words my tongue:

Your words

You knew my name

Lies are words

A handy guide to regeneration

Then everything else in my DW folder:

Let's burn together

A note on dimensional engineering

And I carry your name

Born of the dark

Café meme

Can you hear me?

Drdanny

Dying thoughts

Everything is fine

Explanations

False and lonely gods

I am not a good man

Immortal leftovers

In your head

Intervention

Jack lies

The Master and the dream lord

Missy and the Rani

One last trip

Sound, names, purple

Tenthree goes to therapy

That's not the guilt that drove me mad

The battle royale

We could have worn purple

What if we could do it all again

When the sunlight falls

Where the gifted children end up

Why does he call you babygirl

Wife

My original stuff

(I'm not listing the stuff that isn't actually plans for WIPs, like meta and art and practice. Also not listing my non fiction stuff, or my fanfics for other fandoms, because I'll never write them. Btw I sort by genre/intended universe. These are planned novels, collections, or short stories)

Achroniverse:

Far away from happy endings (planned short story collection)

How to live like an anarchist (planned spin off)

December 32nd 2020 (current WIP novel, nearly done)

FBI/writers:

His name was Kevin

How to worry your FBI agent

The Independent Variable

Gothic:

The monster in the corner

Where the old ones sleep

Murders:

Conscience

I have a secret

What Janet did

Who killed Odin Carlisle?

People/heroes:

A critique of Plato

Campus Chaos

Complexities in the case

Death Drive

How to fake date a friend

It's not romance

Killer genes

No prince for a princess

Odds and evens

Ouija board

Our midsummer nights

Overmorrow

Pink Anemone

Primers

Rational love

The big book of 'heroes'

The prime minister's client

Upside down client

I've also got some poetry, and some ideas to rewrite stuff like Shakespeare, but I won't bother listing those. Also I keep some completed stuff in my WIP folder because I'm a fool, but I've taken those out too, since this is a WIP list.

Short stories:

At the crossroads

Insight on the battlefield of the fallen

Our world used to be beautiful

Story collection

Tell me a story of home

The words unsaid

Uncategorised

Diary full of lies

Untitled future doctor who book

Flux capacitor

I thought this only happens in America

My last day on earth- a travel guide

Our bleak midwinter (currently writing for an anthology!)

Our Green Fires

Telepathy

Where the dragons reside

Fyi anyone can force me to start/finish something by sending me an ask lol

Tagging... @a-wartime-paradox @derinthescarletpescatarian uhhh I can't think of people. Help

WIP TITLE GAME

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

tagged by @soleil-in-retrograde!

*digs up my piles of WIPs* let's see here...

From the RRverse

Bloody Memories

Sun-Kissed

The Art of War

A Radiant Light

A Titan's Demise

Marsyas

Orion v Apollo

Naomi again

From Dusk to Dawn

Triumvirate V Koios

Phoebe

Dream

Helios TBM

Koios ToA

Artemis one shot

Apollo n Muses

Swarms and Swears

Drunk Twins

The Sun's Rise

Revolution

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Leto n Asteria

The Conspiracy of Rachel Elizabeth Dare

AUs

ToA Hunger Games AU

Comfortember 2023

Day 12 - When Everything's Wrong, You Make It Right

Day 18 - I'm Just (Not) Like You

Day 19 - Reaching For The Light (Of Day)