#how could she not hate me.
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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#‘’and then he put his hand on my shoulder for a second#he didnt even squeeze it he just like rested his hand on top of my shoulder#and i was just thinking how could he not hate me#how could this guy not hate me how could he not#how could he not hate me’’#playing in my head on loop right now cause thats how i feel#how could she not hate me.#i ghosted her for days n days#ignored her messages ignored her tweets#didnt even dare to look at her ig story#and i was convinced that was the end. i was convinced she would see how much of a horrible person i am and she would leave me#but she came back and she told me that she missed me and i told her that i missed her because its true#im still terrified and im still tired but i miss her and im so sorry#and now she keeps dming me like nothing happened#and i feel guilty every time i reply bc it feels like were tiptoeing around a sleeping monster and if i dont watch out ill trip and ruin it#all again#but she just asked me for my address so she can send me something for my birthday#and im#im heartbroken#i treated her so badly and she still wants to send me something for my birthday#i dont deserve that#not after what i did#i dont deserve her forgiveness#im so confused and so sad and scared
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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Molly correcting Arthur when he calls her Miss O’Shea to call her Molly. And is then brushed off/ ignored when she was trying to confide in him.
Molly correcting Dutch when he calls her Miss O’Shea to call her Molly. And this literally being one of the final things she says before she’s killed.
The way she just wants people to use her name and treat her like an actual human being rather than an object to sit and look pretty next to Dutch. To look at her and see her and listen to her.
In this essay I will-
#messrs lil rambles#I could talk about this woman for hours and how deep and complex her character is#I’m pretty sure she corrects more than those two occasions too but those are both in cutscenes.#the way she’s almost a lil miffed at Arthur when she says it too#but was confiding in him. clearly trusted him and UGH MAN#Molly they could never make me hate you#molly o'shea#dutch van der linde#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2
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The De Nile sisters!
#monster high#monster high fanart#cleo de nile#nefera de nile#monster high gen 1#monster high redesign#artist on tumblr#character design#been working on this for days i needed to hurry up and post it before i started to hate it#this isnt meant to be a redesign of the two pack btw it just made me want to draw them together so i could figure out their styles#it is interesting tho cuz i gave cleo triangle theming and nefera diamond theming#but the two pack does the opposite which made me feel weird#but now i think im right since nefera's cheek gem is literally a diamond#anyway i wanted cleo to have a more casual style where nefera's is always elegant 100% of the time#i know all the mh ghouls are always overdressed but with nefera its on a different level#i might reblog with some more info on how i reimagined them story wise#but for now i'll just say that cleo is in her final year of high school (basically she's 17/18) and nefera is the equivalent of 21/22#my art#sabz art#EDIT: you can tell i haven't posted in a while cuz i completely forgot to add an ID!!#i was wondering why posting this was so quick#its because i was being a forgetful asshole!!! so#id in alt
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i drew a second outfit design for sumi wayyyy back so now i've decided to redraw it and make it better! and also, i chopped her hair off! now THATS what i call character development
#persona 5 royal#persona 5#p5r#sumire yoshizawa#kasumi yoshizawa#p5r spoilers ? i guess#i'm so happy w how i drew her i think she's so cute#i love you sumire#they could never make me hate you#i think she chopped off her hair at some point during 3rd sem before she properly awakened to her persona n her outfit changed#bcuz then she wouldn't really have to see kasumi everytime she looked in the mirror#she could then just see sumire or who she thinks sumire is supposed to be#p5r did her dirty and i will never shut up abt it#and abt how they just made her revert back to her kasumi state#also!! made the design somewhat magical girl inspired!#bcuz of her first awakening sequence!
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#critical role#cr lb#ygifs#imogen#and now I'm like did imogen have her own reason for not even going near the raven queen did she pray to her for her mother#thinking her mother was dead was gone and the goddess of death had her and it was just a little girl praying at her bedside#take care of her mother. tell her how much she misses her. she misses her so much. and the raven queen never answered#and she could find no comfort not even in a deity who brought eternal rest there was no solace. and there was no correction#did she pick a god and pray? for her mother to come back. for her father not to hate her. for someone to look at her like shes not a monste#that all this time this certified atheist to have zero interest in the gods or helping them not because she genuinely didn't care#but because once upon a time the little girl she used to be cared so much. and prayed so hard. never seeing the red veil around her#damning her from the grace of the gods#and isn't that just what a monster deserves#not even a gracious god will find you special enough you feel like nothing to them because you are nothing to them#and it's like is that true or is such an evil force preventing their light and it's like I'm chewing but I'm choking#I had to stop looking at laura's face because it was making me too craaazzzyy she'd just be like (bafta) and I'd be like (SCREAMING)#hey matt if this is a birdcall to make imogen a paladin tweet tweet beautiful man
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the hatred that i have for jk rowling and the absolute monster gender conspiracy internet rat that she has become is bottomless at this point
#anti jkr#intersex#transphobia#i hate hate HATE how much power she has and reach she has because of a wizard book#that she can spew her batshit rhetoric about what it means to be female under the guise of feminism#proposing more stigma and bans for those who are intersex or anyone she believes is not perfectly genetically female#and then backing off and saying uwu i dont want anyone to be sad because of me uwu#i could go on and on#anti jk rowling
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more bee and beloved...
#rote#realm of the elderlings#the fool#beloved#lady amber#bee farseer#assassin's fate#they make me sooo sad#the matching scars....nooo i hate being my father's daughter#the way beloved is the one person who could best understand what bee has been through because he has also gone through it#but it never really happens. because she keeps pushing him away#waa#feeling isolated/being targeted as a child for being different...grappling with seeing the paths and having Dreams...#the cruelty of the servants....how twisted clerres is...#having three parents...#they're the same!!!!!!!!
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take responsibility
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#i didnt draw jimmy's face bc i hate his ass#they should uhh take responsibility or whatever#me personally?#i think curly is as much of an accomplice with jimmy because he had refused to help anya#copying this from a comment to kinda explain my thought process#what if#jimmy assaulting anya in front of curly and she look to curly accusing and pleading as if he could save her#kinda like bringing the horror act in front of curly will makes him realize how horrific the act hes pardoning for is#and i want he to look at anya because shes looking at him asking for help and he didnt help her#anya asking him to take responsibility#no colour cuz im kinda busy rn#i think the crew should take turn beating jimmy to death with a rock#coming back to add that#yes curly is experiencing the similar situation with anya#like in this she is in front of him but jimmy is behind her#hes behind both of them and if anya wasnt in the picture jimmy wouldve pose as the assailant to curly in this situation#which he is! he is abusing BOTH jimmy and anya#i kina wanna show how anya and curly situation parallel one another#theyre in the same sinking boat of a situation
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT#just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you#if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY#robert chase#house md#malpractice md#i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5#s6 everything instantly goes to shit#and stays shitty#chase should be happy fr#he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house#like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman#anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc#also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing#this has been a shitpost#anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer#i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show
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words cannot describe how happy i am that heket remains lamb's #1 hater in the entire world even after her cleansing
#i haven't drawn anyone from this game other than monch in so long. lmao#the new update has infused me with so many THOUGHTS!! it's driving me CRAZY#i had to draw this scene because this dialogue makes me sooo . happy. i love how angry she is. i love that she STAYS angry.#while everyone else feels more at peace she's still pissed off and i love that for her. heket they could never make me hate you#i think. while i don't much care for the bishops overall because i'm an npc enjoyer until the end. i think this solidified#heket as my favorite bishop . like I wish they didn't heal her voice for whatever fucking reason BUT. i can ignore mm's stupid ass decision#and focus on the less stupid ass decisions. <3#ok i'm done talking now. i drew this impulsively i can't stop thinking about this scene#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl heket#cotl lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#clamart
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Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The beach 3.05
#atlarewatch#avatar the last airbender#atla#azula#princess azula#zuko#prince zuko#mai#ty lee#gifs#avatarthelastairbenderedit#atlaedit#azulaedit#useramys12#tusersimone#userthing#smallscreensource#will not hear anything about 'ursa wasn't a bad mom to azula she just didn't enable her' cause that's not fucking true#i'm not saying ursa should've let azula get away with the bad stuff she did or that her intentions weren't good (which we literally have no#way of knowing ursa is barely a character) but if your child EVER feels like this you have FAILED as a parent sorry not sorry#she said out loud when she clearly knew azula could hear 'what is wrong with that child' DUDE WHAT IS WRONG WITH *YOU*???????#you gotta balance out reprimand with actual affection otherwise the child will not take in the message you're trying to teach them they'll#just think you hate them#AND SHE DID THAT RIGHT WITH ZUKO WHEN HE IMITATED AZULA AND THREW BREAD AT THE TURTLEDUCKS! she scolded him then showed him affection after#on another note!#i think the pause azula takes after saying she doesn't care is super interesting! cause it's VERY similar to the 1x20 zuko moment i#giffed when he's talking about how ozai favoured azula!!! i might make a separate parallel gifset just for that#GOD these siblings make me insane
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Might be blasphemy within the Danny Phantom fandom but I just cannot see Danny x Sam being an actual ship regardless of it being canon in the actual show and now book.
Even as a kid I thought it was weird and couldn’t figure out why that bothered me, and I think now it’s because I never saw any indication of Sam or Danny ever being actually romantically attracted with each other. To be fair I saw that show when I was little, and maybe I’ll see those romantic moments that the show was building to if I can find actual length videos of the episodes.
But at this moment, I can’t recall ever having seen it.
And it baffles me, because I kinda don’t feel like Sam really loved Danny, even as a friend. And I think that really showed in the episode with her wish that changed the structure of time and space so that Danny never died and she was never friends with Danny and Tucker.
If she loved Danny, regardless if it was as a potential lover or friend, she would never have allowed him to die. Not once, but twice.
The first, okay, it was an accident. Kids do dumb things all the time, the more potentially dangerous it is the better — but the second time? The second time was deliberate.
She put him into that suit, without explanation, and without assurance. Nothing but a change of his hero signature.
She didn’t hesitate to let him die again, instead of asking herself if she could stomach watching him go through that again.
What person who loved you could do that to you? Could stand to see you go through that pain?
I feel a good example of love as well, especially in the show, is Jazz. She loves Danny, as a sibling, as a friend, and with all that love she would choose to walk herself into that portal then to let Danny do it instead.
She shows that deep love for Danny to the audience by choosing to protect him from their parents so they would never know he is the ghost boy that they want to rip apart molecule by molecule because she doesn’t want to take the chance of loosing him twice.
Jazz wanted to do that.
So why couldn’t Sam?
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#I think that moment in the show really made me question Sam’s entire character#and I think that was why I couldn’t understand why and how Sam could possibly love Danny#and Danny love Sam KNOWING that she had killed him on purpose#like I don’t mind any of the other ships like#Tucker x Danny#Dash x Danny#Paulina x Danny#Valerie x Danny#especially Dash and Valerie because they have both hurt Danny physically and even threatened to end him (Valerie)#but they felt different in their approach#because Valerie did genuinely love Danny#she just hated Phantom and even wanted to protect Danny FROM Phantom#Dash is a bully and for the time would never have cared for Danny as a potential love interest#but I feel like even Dash would have hesitated#sorry guys but any ship with Danny that has Sam in it as a partner is not for me 😭#I feel sad cause I like the idea of the everlasting trio too#but I just can’t see it with Sam being how she was in the show 😭
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KNOW THY ENEMY, katherine + elena.
#the vampire diaries#tvd#tvdedit#thevampirediariesedit#elena gilbert#katherine pierce#kelena#elenagilbertedit#katherinepierceedit#smallscreensource#femalegifsource#femalecharacters#katherine stan club#elena stan club#my gifs*#mine*#ik its small but i think nonstop about how nina put so much thought into how she interacted w herself in these scenes and just...#how elena exposes her throat... how katherine looks to her first and last always....#i think elena rly wasnt scared of kat because she appreciated herselfmore when she met her#and thought maybe she could really break katherines shell and they could be close eventually#even in her fake fight with stefan earlier in the season she chooses to say 'how could you love me but hate her' which is weird considering#all the other things katherine did lol
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popping in randomly after almost an entire month just to talk non stop about the tsaritsa again everyone sit down.
specifically just thinking about the implications of tsaritsa's ideals originally being about love + the abandonment of those ideals to complete her goal of, presumably, destroying Celestia or whatever she's cooking up. to the point even her people don't love her and I probably don't even remember a time her ideals were of love. now it's all just ice and snow and cold.
which makes romantic fics w her even funnier because she's purposely removed this part of herself and suddenly reader walks into teyvat like they own the place (they do) and I can only imagine her reaction. angry, probably. because why you? what are you doing to her that's caused her hundreds of years of strict adherence to rejecting "love" both from others and to others to just. collapse. absolute shattering of her world and you probably don't even know it bc if nothing else she's good at hiding it. a lot of denial. tries to pick you apart and see what's makes you so different.
and oh she just hates it. she loathes it.
basically one sided enemies to lover trope because she can't stand you for a while but if you stick around she starts warming up to you and it makes it WORSE. so much worse. tries to distance herself but your just everywhere and it gets on her nerves because why does she love you? she isn't capable of love, not anymore. she thought she was.
g-d forbid one of the harbingers or PIERRO notices she'd never live it down. might even consider the implications of just killing you (she doesnt). worse if you know about it and act like a brat she will lose her damn mind
just the tsaritsa being an absolutely horrible mess internally.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#i could also talk sbt furi here and how similar they r + how writing one of them influences my writing of the other#but anyway#ive been busy moving i havent had time to write unfortunately#but i do have time for tsaritsa! and furi. mwah#i just think its funny imagining tsaritsa trying to be polite snd cordial but ohh shes SEETHING. she hates you. she loves you.#she wants to kiss you snd kill you and devour you. a horrible mess of a woman who closed herself off snd suddenly she feels exposed#she hates it. wants to hate you but oh g-d you make her soft in the worst of ways. she'd destroy teyvat itself if you asked her to#shes like a cat you gotta work to earn her trust but oh lord when you do. velcroed to your side#she will say she despises you before kissing you so tenderly it makes you dizzy. between vitriol she brushes her knuckles against your cheek#longing and yearning so violently you will tear each other apart just to be closer.#is there anything so undoing as loving another so wholly it consumes you?#she swears she's indifferent but she pampers you and sends you extravagant gifts with no name attached yet it smells like her. you know.#oh to be in a horribly complicated relationship thats almost one sided enemies to lovers w the tsaritsa that consumes you both#like two stars wanting to be closer and yet..in doing so you undo each other when you inevitably collide. caught in an orbit that dooms both#this has been ur monthly tsaritsa ranting ur welcome and goodnight 🫡#when i say im crazy sbt the tsaritsa i am so serious. i AM her number 1 fan source me
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