#how can i survive when this exists
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I can't be expected to be normal after hearing the words:
" 'I've seen enough,' he says, 'I know exactly what I want
And it's this life that we've created
Inundated with the fated thought of you
And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all
Like petals in a storm
'Cause, darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades, at night when light is fading
Just to let you know, I'm old, waylaid and feels like I am wading
Into carpet burns and carousels
Christ, you'll be the death of me' "
Like??? How am I supposed to exist after this ripped open my ribs and played them like a xylophone
#Fair#the amazing devil#joey batey#madeline hyland#this is my millionth listen#im so normal about them actually#so normal#musical musings#music#there is cocaine in those songs#heartbreak#i want to cry#im sobbing#how can i survive when this exists#emotional#the amazing devil invented emotions actually#love#love songs#love sick
210 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello I love your art!!! I was reading through your changeling au and Felix mentions that fae are creatures of mirth. They literally need attention to survive. But what kind of attention? I guess I'm wondering because Adrien has been in the public eye for a while now, but has been personally neglected for even longer. What does that mean for him? Is he starving? Is he in danger of dying? Does he even know it? (I assume not given he doesn't even know he's Fae).
If he is starving / in danger of starving who is the first to realize this?
it depends on the mirth, on the attention, on what it is they seek. Without making things too complicated - I don't like to define everything into neat little boxes after all, there's fun in nuance - Felix is just explaining from his experience, the Fae he was with tended to be "entertained" by certain aspects of their playing, which was the mirth that kept them relevant. Relevancy more than anything is really what keeps their wheels greased.
In Adrien's case though, the reason he's cloying for so many names and to have so many thralls and attendants is because he SHOULD be a more social creature and has been kept woefully alone. He is kinda starving in the way a fae starves - he's relevant, but only in an image his father constructs OF him, which means it isn't REALLY him - and he has no one to play with. No friends, no lovers, and no rivals, makes a very sad fae
#replies#did this make sense ? I have very specific lore in my brain for how this shit works#and it can be sort of confusing to parse#starving doesn't work the same for fae as it does for people#being creatures of mirth#its why they like sweet foods generally. they dont eat it to eat#they eat it to taste something sweet#they take people's names to have people to play with#to feed their desire for entertainment and relevancy#how do i put this another way... anyone in the crowd have adhd? or the tisms? you know hyperfixations#like REAL hyperfixations. not just “I'm interested in this”#I mean “I am legitimately unable to focus on anything BUT this one thing”#“I have made this thing apart of my personality and I need it to survive and I know everything about it and I NEED to talk to someone it”#imagine you exist. but you're the hyperfixation#and you exist... MORE. in a real way. when people focus on you. some aspect of you#want to mimic you or are apart of you or are owned by you. now youre more real.#like that.
750 notes
·
View notes
Text
instead of nightmare approaching horror to recruit him for the gang i think it would be cooler if he talked to undyne about it. because she would not hesitate TWICE to ship horror off to fuck knows where in the multiverse
like booo booo boring horror would never cooperate and agree to join nightmare without him doing some extra work that he cant be bothered 2 do bc its doesn't benefit him enough 4 the effort put in. AND THAT METHOD DOESN'T EVEN GIVE HIM MORE NEGATIVITY!!!!! nonono the king deserves a show :3 so he goes to undyne who's the craziest of everyone in horrortale and yk yk does some stupid mind manipulation. maybe in exchange for horror he makes up some bullshit lie about how he could save alphys (is she even alive atp) or the rest of the underground and provide them food (like the same deal that nightmare WOULD offer horror) and undynes like 70x more fucked up than horror so of course she's accept in a heartbeat. shes the queen!!!! shes supposed to provide for her subjects (even tho shes kinda. erm. making them all suffer)!!!! and all it would take was a sacrifice of the guy she lowkey doesn't like??? undyne has more reason to accept a deal like that from nm than horror ever would. and it wouldnt be the first time she sacrificed horror anyways lol
idk she sends royal guards out to snatch up horror in the middle of the day (nightmare told her to make it dramatic and tense :3) (all of snowdin would probably follow in concern because OMG WHERE IS SANS GOING????) and then yeah. just like that horrors gone! nightmare probably didn't even give him a chance to say bye to paps. undyne never ends up getting the food nightmare promised because hes a bitchass like that (and papyrus probably ends up taking up the full leader role of food provider for snowdin (if undyne even lets snowdin stay out of her control) good luck for him!)
if horror had a nickel for everytime he got forced to be a sacrifice he'd have 2 nickels. which is actually 2 too much in his eye HES PISSED!!!!!! rightfully so become man ☹️ taken away from his world without even a choice or a reason (to his knowledge) or anything to benefit him??? and now hes STUCK in this disney movie castle with two freaks who look like him (what the FUCK) and then the most annoying THING he's ever had the misfortune of getting kidnapped by. he is in misery. it sucks. he IS infact bitter. if he ever came back to horrortale (which he literally would never get to without dying or losing his stolen eye) he would 500% commit anarchy and finally get rid of undynes annoying ass ‼️‼️
#horror gets to join killer in the forcefully kidnapped into the gang group#would horror lose hope of ever getting back to horrortale???? yeah probably :3#unlike dust he doesn't have dt so he would NAUGHT be that persistent#dust would die trying getting back to dusttale. horror would just want to die after not being able to get back#unlike dust (debatable) or killer (he's done all he can do to help his world and wants to move on) horror still has attatchments in his au#i KNOW the constant thought that snowdin is starving without him HAUNTS him like a plaugue#im like 80% sure horrortale would not survive without horror. it would implode without horror to keep undyne somewhat in check#NOOOO because like what if it was after Aliza manages to help all of horrortale???? like undyne#like she manages to get through the undyne somehow and everything seems to be going up slowly#horror FOR ONCE has hope for everyone again and then nightmare comes in and undoes ALLLL of aliza's progress!!!!!!#THE HOPE GETTING RIPPED AWAY FROM HORROR AFTER SEEING THINGS RECOVERING WOULD DESTROY HIM (maybe idk)#can just imagine killer having to be on suicide watch for horror bc nm can tell he's in a bad mood bc of that hope#killer doesnt have to be on suicide watch for dust bc he wont let himself die if his human still exists but horror?????#horror would not have the same will that dust and killer do. he tries to jump off buildings every mission#horror leaning off a ledge and killer's just holding onto his hood like man stop it this is wasteful and pointless#why does he keep trying to kill himself and have to make killer deal with this. cant horror just like get the fuck over it and do his job#anyways dust and horror exchanging stories about their aus and reminiscing about things before it all went bad#horror gets pissy anytime dust makes an offhand comment tying his story about the genos#dust completely ignores him when horror mentions something about the famine and how it fucked everything up#they rather just take this moment to pretend everything is alright in their memories#in that moment its almost like looking into a mirror. ok triglycercule getting a bit TOO poetic there#horrordust seeing sans in eachother only when they talk about their pasts and making it a way to deal with all thats changed#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#nightmare's gang
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
so many intricacies to manage in what I want to say and how vulnerable I want to be at any given time based on platform and account and audience and subject matter and time. and despite all of those calculations the pulse underneath it is a deep and relentless desire to be open about everything in magical made up way where that knowledge doesn't burden anyone but simply passes through as something Known and immutable. I want the delineation of a Work, where I can control how much is shown and what is felt by others on seeing it isn't under my control at all but it also doesn't mark Me. it's like idolatry. I was meant to be a statue on a pedestal and probably missing some bits craving touch as something that was carved once and was then left alone as one complete. You get me? I think I need to start taking my olanzapine
#intricate calculations applied to this being on this blog too. im really tired. i dont understand social things enough to know#what about my existence is too much. and i do not know myself well enough to separate a logical restraint#from the guilt and shame of knowing how much i need in order to live. that my survival relies on a charity from others#that has so far been finite and worn through. this is not something that anyone can fix by reading this#its not something i can fix by writing it. but there is so much in me that wants to be held (again) and there aren't enough words for that#what is there to say. can you love me now when i am this? its exhibitionistic really. who gets anything from this#i dont know. im normal. im so unmedicated#not art
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you guys know that Stańczyk is Matejko's self-portrait
Do you know it's one of the most important paintings in the history of Poland
Are you aware that everyone in this country relates to the jester's mood
You can learn so much just by exploring the painting's backstory, give it a try
#i had a book about matejko when i was little. we learned about him at school multiple times#it's. please don't be disrespectful#it's serious#and if you like matejko's style ha wait until you discover Malczewski#Polish art#i am not sure why does this painting keep appearing in english speaking internets#probably tied to how everyone seems to be getting closer and closer to Polish mentality#don't worry we're all doomed but we will survive somehow#if Poland still exists so can each and every one of us
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
N*loth is literally prime NPD representation and that's just how it is. Dat's just how i feel . if iiiiiii hear anyhing ab him needing to be humbled or put in his place i'll just tear my hair out right here and match his look. not even trying to lift him up or defend him i'm just defending the mentally ill skajrim characters nobody wants to understand,
#text#literally sick to my stomach from people sayin that shit omfg#no i'm exaggerating but be serious#my sk*rim NPD trifecta is n*loth + s*ddgeir + m*raak#s*ddgeir is the one you all should be humbling cause he's just gay (derogatory)) and materialistic#i swear n*loth didn't do anythign to any of you people he doesn't even like fancy stuff even tho he has the bag#people see a smart bih with a rocket science degree and just wanna say she needs to be '' '' put in her place '' '''#my hyper sk*rim character rambling. .. but seriously tho...#i think 2 this site its: traumatized character = 'sad wet cat'#intimidating woman = 'MAMA DOM'#and character with blown out ego = 'actually pathetic'#like i'll start swinging idc#m*raak is a good personification of NPD cause he doesn't wanna believeee there's someone better than him in his 'skill'#notice how he's Always throwing shit on U for no reason#he's so mad. lols#the entire DB DLC is about m*raak's NPD and how it consumed him. very artistic..#but n*loth i find to be extremely realistic even in the little things#how his NPD isn't an escape from anything but just pillars of his existence#+how his ego doesn't help w/ not caring about wat others think about him.. he neeeeds that validation to feel good 2#but not to survive. his Ego can carry him on it's own#i'll defend n*loth's mental illnesses with my life idrc abt m*raak's diagnosis tho just cause he annoys me from the gameplay LMFAO BYE#if i sound crazy when i post shid likethis it's cause you don't LOVE sk*rim like i do.........rubbing my temples
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
My frog fantasy came true this week~!! 🐸🍒☁️✨This is one of my favorite works I've ever made. It was so much fun from beginning to end. I had to give the sculpture to my bestie, who was the Ancient Greek tutor for the last two years and one of the best people I've had the privilege to meet. I couldn't think of a better home for our beautiful frog creation. I want to send a small part of myself with her into her future in exchange for everything she's done for me💚
I gave the Socrates bust to another friend who studies philosophy, and who I already miss despite only having met her this semester. I also made a bracelet for my tutor, since she helped me deal with the jealous socrates haters in my Apology class by making them look illiterate in comparison to my effortless translations and breezy sight reading ability. In honor of this, the bracelet says What Would Socrates Do😉
#my art#3d#ancient greece#socrates#aristophanes#frogs#greek literature#yes still relevant🥰#hopefully i will make more frogs in the future so the whole world can enjoy#i was feeling very depressed and angry this semester and looking at the frog is like taking a deep breath. how can i be upset when i get#to live in the version of this world where frogs by aristophanes survives for us#or where aristophanes existed at all. wow
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?
to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.
#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they#already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that.#but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did.#and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe.#but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people.#a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part?#but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt.#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here#theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never#escape.#i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord.#but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s#physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering…#but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong#its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know?#i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond#their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!!#what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly*#human!!!#enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one.#does that make sense?
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
POST MORE SWORD OF FATE PLS IM BEGGING
i have very little in terms of actual art LMAO but i CAN explain the sword thing because i checked and i did in fact never make this plot point public. i struggled for a while with creating a villain for this story until i realized that. i put "sword" in the title of the game. of course it has to be about the fucking sword. DUH.
so i want SOF to deal very heavily with religion, specifically the way in which hyrule's religion forms post-sksw but pre-reincarnation. i've placed it on the timeline directly after sksw, making it the first actual reincarnation in hyrule. what this means is that there's no actual proof yet that the reincarnation thing is real and not just an insane bluff on demise's part, and so several key characters including link and zelda barely believe in hylia or demise at all when the story starts. my thought with this setting's version of ganon is that he's the polar opposite of the nonbelievers. The gerudo don't really exist as of now, but he DOES come from the desert region of hyrule--specifically, he was raised in a cultlike offshoot of the sheikah religion which interpreted the hylia/demise myth completely literally and believes that a doomsday is coming, heralded by the foretold return of demise. Because of this, he knows more about the cycle and how to set it in motion than basically any other character. Crucially, he and his people are some of the only ones at this point aware of the existence of the master sword.
ganon finds. a sword. a sword which he THINKS is the master sword. and this theory is only reinforced when the sword begins to speak to him about his destiny and the salvation of hyrule. unfortunately it is not the master sword and he ends up basically a pawn in the greater plans of what's left of demise & ghirahim within that sword, manipulated into attempting to revive demise and destroy the reincarnated hero and princess. he remains in denial until basically the very end of the final battle, completely convinced that he is the true savior of hyrule and LINK is the one being misled. ghirahim is a very good manipulator lol
#i know that the sword like dies with demise in sksw or whatever but this is my game and i can do whatever i want so ive decided it survives#because i need a plot device. ok. work with me here#asks#loz: sword of fate#anyway the religion thing is something that i really wanted to explore bc it fascinates me. bc obv in later cycles everyone believes#because they KNOW its true and have like. historical evidence of it. but what about the first few times it happened? post-sksw they had no#way of knowing if demise would make good on his promise or not. i can see belief vs nonbelief being a very strong dividing factor among#early hylians. its fascinating to me. lol#anyways zelda specifically fully believes that the hylia shit was made up by her great great grandparents or whatever as a power grab lmao#link is kinda like whatever. sure the goddess exists i guess ill pray to her sometimes but like did she actually found hyrule? probably not#and ganon and his people are HARDCORE believers. like to-the-letter. because of this they have one of the most historically accurate#accounts of hyrule's founding (which no one BELIEVES is accurate at this point. but it is) and have managed to hold onto records of both#the master sword and demise when society at large has basically either forgotten or decided to ignore them#wow. i forgot how fun sof is to write about. holy shit
201 notes
·
View notes
Text
pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is 💀#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im ✨running out of tags✨ and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
Sometimes I remember my family is, overall, very very stupid
#vent#personal stuff#they want trump to win and i must remind you we're latines they're brown skinned our grandma was indigenous#and they have never ever set a foot in north america like at all#and if i tell them just a fraction of what a piece of work trump is they will be like 'of course he's awful' like they're aware#and they still want him to win and it's not that they think he's the lesser of evils or something they just are stupid i suppose#and i shall lower my head and pretend to not exist because that's how i survived my 25 years with them i guess disagreeing is no option#they literally don't want Kamala Harris to allow venezuelan inmigrants to enter America there must be some seriously grave issue#some serious grave issue in their brain bc how can your compassion be that fricking low when you also know what ppl go through to leave#-sigh- i'm tired#anyways if you're american go vote for the love of whatever you like
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys gotta learn to be a lot cooler about religions that aren't your own
and yes. that does include christianity.
#eli talks#And I Mean It.#the priority obviously is to get cooler about islam and judaism and all. like the religions that get oppressed?#but that firsthand and secondhand religious trauma is making a lot of people very not cool anymore#it makes a lot of people kind of. assholes. even.#white ppl who grew up baptist or catholic or mormon or whatever else that are now athiests will like#talk about how evil religion is. how toxic. how controlling. only really meaning christianity.#bc that's the only religion that really exists to them. as ex-christians.#they ignore the way various black and indigenous ppl have fused their traditions and customs with christianity to survive#they ignore the positive teachings of christianity like charity and reserving judgement and kindness and patience#they ignore the positive elements of religious organization like community-building. fund-raising. finding meaning.#and it's ok to have religious trauma. sucks that it happened. but there's nothing wrong with you being traumatized.#can you for the love of god stop making that everyone else's problem though?#like . can you be normal about how other people choose to interact with the world?#can you be normal about the culture other people practice? the foods they eat? clothes they wear? rituals they perform?#can you like. not try to trick a jewish person into eating pork? can you not ban hijab?#can you just clench your teeth and not say anything mean to someone praying before a meal?#can you keep your comments to yourself when someone says they are going to pray for your hardships to lessen?#when an indigenous person mentions a ceremony they did or a practice they do. can you not call it mumbo jumbo? maybe?#can you abstain from calling a catholic creepy for the ash on their forehead?#idk. i feel a certain way about this.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.
You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.
#i hate that i let that get to me lmao just ruined my fucking day ive been sitting here sobbing for like an hour#i cant tell anyone just how much i dont even want to try any more bc i dont see the point#medical issues and mental issues dont pair well and i dunno if im even gonna be able to survive the next flare up#i dont need fandom spaces telling me to die when im already telling myself that every fucking day#also why does my age always get brought up lmao i didnt choose to be born 30 years ago stop telling me im old#my body has been telling me im old since age 11 you dont know what ive fucking been thru#30 was just a formality and serves as another reminder of how ill never meet societys expectations for a 30yo lmao#my point is. you should try showing a little more kindness if telling someone to die comes so easily#ive literally never once told anyone to die in my life. you just dont fucking go there. what if they kill themself right after that?#can you live knowing they did so on your command?#i couldnt#thats just like beyond fucked up#anyway im gonna go try and stop crying#ill prob stay off tumblr today idk i feel real sick lol#delete later / /#i hate that i cant exist as myself either in person (too queer and closeted in a rural area) or online (too queer and weird ships)#anyway
8 notes
·
View notes