#how am i supposed to live under these conditions etc etc

[kaikamahine]

excuse me, bioware, what?

[desperatepleasures]

oh my fuckign gods sanji teasing zoro about coming back for seconds of his cooking I'm fucking hyperventilating

[mewguca]

Me when I self-insert so hard i accidentally take a one-off drawing and make it a whole au

haha i am back on my nonsense...

i guess the idea is basically. twin moons haha. diana is more like. the game version of moon but probably slightly different in some way idk i gotta work on them both...Luna is kinda just. slef insert beam go brrr but also kinda different i guess uh. different kinda strengths and weaknesses?

Diana is more "proper" and better versed in her iterator duties and the knowledge of the world around her. She's more outgoing and assertive and can even sometimes be a little bit sarcastic. She takes on a big sisterly role for the other iterators, checking in on them a lot. She is well-informed on politics and history and other topics that concern her duties, and she monitors the condition of the Regions around her. She tends to be more logical and rational, but that is not to say she is cold by any means. She is sort of the model of a "perfect" iterator, and she is praised as such. This gives her expectations to live up to, though, and she sometimes struggles under the pressure to live up to them.

Luna is less focused on her duties and more...spacey I guess? She's much more shy and reserved and is a bit more pessimistic and unconfident...but she enjoys creating things like drawing and singing and talking to the residents of their can(s) about their creations. She is less concerned about things like politics and history and more interested in looking at cute little creatures in the surrounding ecosystem, haha. She also has a bit of a mischievous side she lets show sometimes. She likes to make people laugh and maybe tease them a bit.

They're both very caring though, of course. They both share that aspect of Moon! They especially care about each other and enjoy spending time together...they also like to dote on their little brother FP. They are both highly regarded, if in somewhat different ways and for different reasons. Diana is revered for her academic and practical contributions, such as keeping the systems running smoothly. Luna is revered for her contributions to the culture and the arts in the cities atop her can. They serve important roles and are seen as inseparable.

Of course yknow theyre not perfect so they can be kinda envious of each other sometimes etc etc hehe...

I suppose my idea for their structures is connecting structures? They have a connecting chamber in the middle, and the combination of structures in general can be either connected or separated. Diana is technically the senior twin so she has the overall authority at the end of the day. They also still share some water with FP because they are still neighbors.

I am unsure what their chat acronyms should be...maybe copy the theme of moon's ingame one and do Big Sis Diana and Little Sis Luna? Though...then thatd be confusing talking to their little brother maybe haha. But having them use LTTMI and LTTMII does not seem...the most practical.

When it comes to ...yknow...I am unsure which direction I want to go in. Should I have them collapse together since it's less scary if they have each other?

or should I be evil and make one of them force their water onto the other so they can get help for the other twin...But then....they'd definitely be separated...and if one side collapses more than the other, I'm not sure how you'd get them back together. Much to think about!

I think it'd be cute to see them interact with monk and surv, though! the little scug siblings! just like them! and separated just like them if we go that route smiles diabolically

I do want them to be happy in the end of course! but yknow we can have a little suffering as a treat

I have much to flesh out...waahhhh the brainrot never ends I suppose

[toon-bunny]

Cathal head canons!!! I'm crazy about this guy so please be warned that there is a LOTTTTT under the cut

voice: Andrew VanWyngarden. soft tone, high pitch, speaks kinda slowly, little bit of vocal fry. breathy/hiccup-y laugh. definitely has that muffled synthetic sound like the in-game voice too

speaking sample (please ignore the weird title, this is just a good compilation)

singing sample (I don't imagine them singing, but I do like the voice effect here and the cadence)

personality: extremely perceptive and smart. friendly, light-heartedly sarcastic guy with a metric ton of non-emotive autism. it's kind of deceiving? because when u think of non-emotive autism u think of a guy who never smiles or changes pitch but Cathal is passively very smiley and has a laid back demeanor. very interesting guy to me. he is VERY passionate about his interests, they just aren't indulged/taken seriously by others so it's believed he just doesn't give a fuck about anything. that and they're still not very animated when infodumping

background…

very alienated from living kind of outside of the cogs lifestyle. not that he should be pitied for not having to work, but how do you live and socialize in a culture completely dedicated to work when you don't Do That. but I think he would have odd friendships with other sellbot managers and probably some others

they have a good relationship with dad of course. I like to think that Allan Gets him and doesn't give him a hard time for his perceived lack of passion or anything like that. but giving him a very cushy job and continuing to encourage him w/ said job that doesn't interest him is just how Allan thinks is the best way to support him. I don't remember where I read this but I love the idea that Allan isn't emotionally getting anything out of his job either BUT he's better at masking that and believes he will if he keeps doing his best - it's "supposed" to feel good. sorry wait this is just me thinking about Allan

I do like the idea that, in addition to this job not really aligning with Cathal's interest, they also dgaf because no one would take them seriously in this position anyway even if they DID try. not only do they look silly and non-serious, they'd still be resented for having this position even if they proved they were qualified for it. so it becomes a feedback loop. I'm basically making a ton of reasons as to why he acts the way he does in canon which might seem excessive when ONE trait would explain it alone, but I really like when there are a bunch of experiences/symptoms/etc that foster a particular behavior/outlook and can't be untangled from each other

I think he likes TV shows because they kind of fill the void of connection with others… cartoons kind of endear them to toons but also whenever a character that represents someone like him shows up, they're 1) malicious and greedy, fat as shorthand for capitalist monster or 2) a selfish, stuffy nerd who's meant to be ridiculed by the audience. so no, liking cartoons doesn't necessarily make him more sympathetic to the toons' cause or push him to help, bc he's led to believe he also doesn't have a place in their society

all of the above points also make them a little intimidated by activism and seeking a better life. I think he got cornered into a particular brand of quiet nihilism. I am definitely inspired by this song

in terms of disabilities and conditions…..chronic insomnia from snoozing and lazing about all day, not getting any energy out when it's appropriate. CFS like crazzzzy. autism of course. and also ADHD's brother, cognitive disengagement syndrome

hobbies/interests…

expanding on their canon interest in TV shows, I'm handing my luv of animation to them, but I also think this is the type of guy who could watch scarier stuff and just enjoy the artistry of it. as in "oh wow those practical effects are so well done" (guy who's unfazed by the horrors). (I'm so jealous of this I want to have this ability)

I think they'd like retro games more than I do, he seems like they'd enjoy a good GBA title. maybe roguelikes and metroidvanias, stuff that could be considered tedious and punishing to some but a really fun and rewarding way to waste time to others. he's got a lot of time on his hands to metaphorically bash his head against the wall with more difficult titles ykwim?

this bit's inspired by my friend's AU Toon After Time, I can't undo the association between them and tech knowledge/know-how LOL. I knowwww he collects VHS tapes and other old equipment and can also troubleshoot anything to do with old TVs, VCRs, etc

other details…

I KNOWWWWW it's so cliche to give the cogs tails but I can't help it I LOVE ROBOT TAILS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. plus I love the idea that if cogs have tails, they are prehensile, but Cathal can't even be arsed and just lets it drag everywhere so it's all worn out and torn up from getting stepped on/caught in stuff. I also like the idea of it flopping VERY slowly once or twice if they're happy. like a very old dog wagging its tail

inspired by this post by bunglefication, I love the idea that Gizmo is treated well by Cathal and is more like a service animal to them :D so awesomes

bc my friend suggested "closet femme Cathal" once I am now 100% sold on Cathal dressing at least a little more femme at home 🌈 likes to get cutes with it for funsies. other than that, I like the idea of 90s tech guy/TTRPG guy type clothing for them. like imagine a Best Buy employee or Blockbusters employee in the 90s do you see my vision

[ddarker-dreams]

This isn't necessarily a question related to your lore, so feel free to ignore it! Or, if you do answer it, feel free to give some random lore as well. Or not!

I struggle with writing the hook and/or opening as a whole with any story I write, to the point that it has stopped me from finishing or even attempting to write some of my fanfic ideas.

Do you do anything special when you're writing the beginning of one of your stories, or just any tips to share in general regarding how you start your stories?

Thank you so much!

oh i absolutely get what you mean hjrntkmegr i used to struggle with this a lot, especially since i think it's hammered into our heads that our first sentence needs to be like. noble prize worthy. while i definitely don't want to downplay the importance of an interesting hook, i feel what helped me was using a placeholder and coming back to it later. i tend to write my stories in chronological order since that's just the flow i do the best with, so whenever i encounter an area that's giving me particular difficulty/frustrating me, i make a vague note of what i want then come back later.

another concept that's helped me is thinking of the first sentence/paragraph as a way to set the tones and themes of a story. in my humble opinion, i don't think it always needs to be super flashy.

one of my favorite openings in literature is the first paragraph from the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson:

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.

while there's a lot to love about this introduction, what stands out to me in particular is how it perfectly establishes the tone for the rest of the novel. since you're the author of your work, there's no one better suited to lay out the themes you'll be expanding on than you. i'm not sure of that makes sense but . i mean it as in you're already capable of capturing the feeling you're going for, no matter how you decide to do so.

and this is just one of many methods! sometimes stories start with exposition, a line of dialogue that leads into a conversation, etc etc. if there's anything you takeaway from this, it's that you can experiment and play around with many different possibilities. i had to reframe how i look at writing the start of a story because of how much i used to go 😬 about it. when i looked at it as something i can play around with, i went from dreading to enjoying it.

anyway, i hope this helps, and as always whenever i try to give 'writing advice' (i feel pretentious calling it that because i am a silly little fanfic writer on tungle.com), so please take everything with a grain of salt.

[rosethornewrites]

I saw my new PCP on Monday and got the fun job of explaining my conditions. I’ve previously had doctors who ignored my needs or told me to lose weight, so it’s scary to have to try to convince them that, yes, I am very sick, too sick to work, but I don’t want to be that sick. I miss working. I miss keeping my mind engaged.

So I decided to preface everything with, “You know, a year ago I was a professor at a state university, living in my own apartment. Before I got sick I used to go to a ton of events and travel places. And I spent so much energy pushing through to try to keep going that I burned myself out. Now I am in so much pain and have so much brain fog that even getting out of bed is a challenge. It feels like my life has crumbled around me, and I want to get it back.”

And then I discussed my medical history, what I’ve done to get treatment so far (getting on Medicaid, getting a behavioral health specialist, a dermatologist, a rheumatologist, etc., all involving dozens of phone calls each just to find someone who specializes), the setbacks I’ve faced and how it’s changed how I face seeking healthcare (that all my providers are women is not an accident), and the medications I’m currently taking and what they’re for. How I discovered I can’t have sulfa antibiotics.

It’s a lot—just the medications, I take a biologic injection every two weeks, 2 anxiety medications, an antidepressant that also helps with fibromyalgia, a controlled substance for my pain (NOT an opioid), a medication to control my insulin resistance, an anti-inflammatory, a low dose of antibiotics, and blood pressure medication. Oh right, and birth control, which is supposed to help with the HS. That’s just the prescriptions—I take OTCs and supplements that are meant to help keep my conditions under control because I researched copiously while trying to push through.

How long it took me to be diagnosed with HS (despite telling my PCP at the time I thought I had it, I was diagnosed on sight by a gynecologist two years later, who then referred me to a dermatologist), and the story of how I realized something was terribly fucked up with my body. The struggles with pain. How I take cannabis but hate that it doesn’t allow me to have a clear mind. The years of insomnia, which is a symptom of multiple conditions I have.

I have so many horror stories about my health that my horror stories have horror stories, and those are fun to relate, in graphic detail so they know exactly how bad it is.

It’s this fucked up cycle of having to convince a doctor you’re sick (apparently they don’t want to believe you if you say you are) and actually get treatment, except you get stuck on step 1 because everything must be weight-related and therefore I should just lose weight.

I been fat my whole life. This other shit is new. Catch up.

But then they get mad if you’re “difficult” aka advocating for your health.

Knowing that nearly everyone with chronic illnesses goes this, and even worse than me typically, is distressing.

I knew my chronic pain was fibromyalgia because my mom struggles with it and eventually got diagnosed after being told half her life it was in her head. I was lucky. I have to consider inheriting a debilitating illness from my mom lucky because at least I knew what it was from her experiences.

Every new doctor I see, I feel like I have to vet for egotism because that’s generally the mark of a hot dog who won’t listen or care.

All I really want is treatment so I can maybe get my life back.

[theartistrans]

I did this one for my roomate who is intersex. I'm not great the best with this sort of thing, and I'm not intersex, but I wanted to share some cited facts about intersex people on behalf of the intersex person I love. And I ask you read because intersex people deserve our respect and if you just fucking need to hear it to care: you definitely know, and maybe love at least one intersex person.

If you've never heard the term intersex, it is an umbrella term for people born with "non-standard" sex characteristics. Perisex is the opposite, people both clearly and plainly male or female.

About 1 in every 100 people are born with bodies which differ from the standard idea of male and female. That makes intersex people as common as redheads!!!

About 1 in every 1,666 people are simple born with neither XX or XY chromosomes

1 in every 1,000 people are given surgery to "correct" the genitals they were born with because they are intersex

Most of these people are operated on under the age of 2, obviously unable to consent. These surgeries can cause lifelong chronic pain, incontinence, inaccurate gender assignment, and more.

Some people who are intersex are cis, and some are trans. It's really down to the person!

Intersex is a a term for a variety of medically studied body situations, but that doesn't mean it needs to be treated inherently. There's nothing wrong or scary about being intersex!!! Some intersex people need healthcare related to their diagnosis, and some people do not.

But that means if you think you are intersex, you should probably seek a diagnosis!!

That being said, some people live their entire lives with no idea they are intersex. Some people are even lied to about their doctors about their diagnosis.

I'm adding sources below the cut, but I'm adding way more than just what's in this post, videos, articles, etc, and I am literally begging people take some time to educate yourselves on intersex people. Intersex people exist outside of awareness days, but supposed allies often don't act like it, we could all do better.

[riikive]

CLOSET OUT ⌕ 이희승

masterlist

pairing. lee heeseung x male!oc | genre. fluffy, romance, hurt/comfort, etc. | warning. lgbtqia+, coming out, closet in lgbtqia+ term, disowning, etc. | word count. 1.0k

notes. Since this month is pride month, why not do this 😁. A small lesson, it's okay if not everyone accepts you for who you are. There will be this one person or more who will accept you for who you are. This oneshot supposed to be a different artist from a different K-pop male group, but I changed my mind. I hope you enjoy this! And happy pride month!

Sorry it's bad and not accurate, I tried. also this is just a fanfic, I don't know Heeseung sexuality and this doesn't define his sexuality either! Enjoy!!

Seojin was pacing back and forth for the last two hours, biting his thumb and coming down his nerves without him realizing it. Instead of helping him, it was bleeding, but he didn't even realize it. Heeseung got home from work, and he saw his lover pacing back and forth with a bleeding thumb.

He quickly went towards him after putting down his bag and putting on the house slippers. "Love, what is the matter?" He gently took his lover's hand from his mouth. Seojin looked up and sighed in relief. "I decided to come out of the closet, but I am scared of the results…" "What if my parents disowned me? What if－"

the rest is under the cut

Before he could finish his sentence, Heeseung kissed him gently. He felt his heart relax and closed his eyes while kissing him back. They broke the kiss and looked at each other with adoration. "Love, no matter the results, I will always be here and love you. I am so proud of you for deciding to come out of the closet."

Seojin blushed and smiled. He felt a little better after talking about it. Heeseung smiled and pecked his lover's forehead. He was happy and proud of him talking about it to him. "Do you know when you want to talk to your parents?" He asked his lover. "Tomorrow when you are at work. I will go on my own." Heeseung nodded and pecked his lover's lips. "Alright, I am a call away if you need me. Don't hesitate."

Seojin nodded. "Alright, let's clean this up before dinner, then we can sleep." Heeseung took his lover's hand and pulled him gently to the bathroom to clean the cut or wound on the thumb.

Heeseung and Seojin have been in a secret relationship since they were in high school. He was the first one who asked his lover out on a date. His lover was hesitant at first but agreed with the condition of keeping a secret from his family until he was ready to come out of the closet. Heeseung understood and agreed with the condition.

The next day, Heeseung went to work after kissing a passionate kiss on his lover's lips. Now Seojin was alone getting ready for the long day ahead of him. He was nervous but was ready to face anything. Taking a deep breath, he left the apartment and went by train to Daegu, where his parents lived.

His hands were shaking as he pressed the doorbell. Within seconds, his mother opened the door with open arms. She quickly hugged him. He smiled and hugged her back. Missing his parents so badly, but they may or may not disown him later on. "Come inside!" His mother pulled him inside. Sitting there was his father. His father looked at him before looking away. He took a deep breath and bowed to his father. "I made your favorite dish for lunch. Come, let's eat!" His mother pulled him to the kitchen.

The house looked the same as when he moved out in his first year of university. He missed those precious memories. The only difference is that his parents, whom he hadn't seen in 6 years, were getting old. "How was work? Are you in a relationship now?" Relationship… he nodded. His mother widened her eyes. "Who is the lucky girl?" He bites his cheeks and gum when she mentioned the girl part. "Mother, can we talk about it after lunch?" His mother nodded in agreement.

Sitting down on the couch, his mother asked the same question again. His father was reading the newspaper in his hands. Seojin was shaking from the nerves. He felt like his heart was going to explode from the pressure. Maybe this isn't the right choice… but there's no way to go back. Taking a deep breath. "Mother, father. I have something to say." Looking at his hands, he continued. "I am in a relationship, but it's not with a female. But another male." He finally spilled it out. "I am bisexual." There was complete silence after he said that. Closing his eyes and fidgeting with his hands.

Slightly opening his eyes, he saw his mother frozen, and his father wasn't happy at all. He knew this would happen. Maybe it was the wrong choice, after all. If he could go back in time and change his answer. He could. "Are you happy with him?" His mother hesitantly broke the silence. He nodded, "Yes, I am very happy with him. He made me happier than anyone could." His mother nodded.

He couldn't look his father in the eyes. His mother looked at his father and then back at him. His father stood up and gazed at his son before talking. The words he was afraid of. "Leave the apartment." Seojin nodded and stood up. He walked towards the front door and looked at his mother one last time, who gave him a small smile. Seojin bowed to his parents before leaving the apartment forever.

Seojin knew "leave the apartment," meaning leave, and don't come back in his father's words. His relationship with his father wasn't the best. He tried to please his father, but nothing that he did will please his father. He felt tears falling as he entered the train back to Seoul. Then he heard his phone buzzing. He ignored it and went out of the train once it arrived at his destination.

Quickly walked to his shared apartment, which wasn't far. Punching in the passcode and entering the apartment. Standing there was Heeseung. "How did it go?" Without answering, he quickly hugged him with tears in his eyes. "It was horrible." Heeseung hugged him back tightly. "It's okay. I am here now and will never leave you ever. I am so proud of you." He softly comforted him in his arms.

For the next hour, they were in the hugging position. Heeseung made sure to give him the love that he needed after what happened. He made the best decision to be with Seojin and never will regret it no matter what anyone thinks of him. He is always happy to be with his lover.

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[monomaniacmetropolitan]

BERGSONIAN PROBLEMS OF OMNISCIENCE

I was pondering some problems related to Omniscience and Free Will. A few passages from Bergson’s Time and Free Will came to mind: 

“...Let us imagine a person called upon to make a seemingly free decision under serious circumstances: we shall call him Peter. The question is whether a philosopher Paul, living at the same period as Peter, or, if you prefer, a few centuries before, would have been able, knowing all the conditions under which Peter acts, to foretell with certainty the choice which Peter made.” 

“We find ourselves compelled, therefore, to alter radically the idea which we had formed of Paul: he is not, as we had thought at first, a spectator whose eyes pierce the future, but an actor who plays Peter's part in advance. And notice that you cannot exempt him from any detail of this part, for the most common-place events have their importance in a life-story; and even supposing that they have not, you cannot decide that they are insignificant except in relation to the final act, which, by hypothesis, is not given. Neither have you the right to cut short—were it only by a second—the different states of consciousness through which Paul is going to pass before Peter; for the effects of the same feeling, for example, go on accumulating at every moment of duration, and the sum total of these effects could not be realized all at once unless one knew the importance of the feeling, taken in its totality, in relation to the final act, which is the very thing that is supposed to remain unknown. But if Peter and Paul have experienced the same feelings in the same order, if their minds have the same history, how will you distinguish one from the other? Will it be by the body in which they dwell? They would then always differ in some respect, viz., that at no moment of their history would they have a mental picture of the same body. Will it be by the place which they occupy in time? In that case they would no longer be present at the same events: now, by hypothesis, they have the same past and the same present, having the same experience. You must now make up your mind about it: Peter and Paul are one and the same person, whom you call Peter when he acts and Paul when you recapitulate his history.” 

This passage brings to light a very peculiar aspect of omniscience. I will try to show what I am talking about through a chain of thoughts. 

If God is to be omniscient, God needs to have I. Total knowledge of objective events  II. Total knowledge of subjective agents and their inner workings.  

If God is to be the ultimate moral judge of an agent, God needs to have   I. Total knowledge of the moral consequences of every action of theirs.                            II. Total knowledge of the internal moral motives of that agent for every action of theirs.  

As Bergson demonstrates, choices in human life are a result of a qualitative multiplicity of preceding sensations, thoughts, events, etc. which can only be known through “becoming” the chooser via experiencing the exact same multiplicity of preceding sensations, thoughts, events, etc.  

Thus, in order for God to obtain complete omniscience and moral authority, God would have to grasp the thought-history and sensation-history of every single acting agent, or else:  

I. God would not obtain knowledge of all possible information (without regards to moral judgement). 

II. God would not be able to perfectly judge a moral agent on the basis of a full consideration of consequences AND motives.  

To me, these requirements of omniscience open up the following questions: 

Could God be truly omniscient without being pantheistic/immanent in every person?  

Why does Christianity conceive of Jesus Christ as the necessary experiential unity of God and Man, when omniscience dictates that God already has a complete understanding of the totality of subjective properties of every human life?  

I am by no means a serious philosopher, nor am I particularly great deductive thinker, and would appreciate help thinking about/discussing this particular topic. Are there problems with this reasoning? Do the premises hold up?  

[thememoriesofaqueen]

Love Will Remember 4

[Chapter updated in June 2023] A/N: Hello & welcome back. Today is Katherine Pierce's 550th birthday, so I thought let's celebrate this special day by gifting you all the next chapter of 'Love Will Remember'. And as always I want to thank you for your continuous support and feedback. It means a lot to me ♥

English is not my first language    

→ I do not own anything of the TVD - Universe and I’m not affiliated or associated with the writers etc. This is only a headcanon/fanfiction.

Pairings: Kalijah (Katherine & Elijah), Klatherine (allies)

Rated: M

Read on: AO3 and / or FFnet

Word Count: 3.6k  // Masterlist (x)

▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬

▬ New York City // Paris ▬

"You did what? You can't be serious, Nik! Have you lost your damn mind?"

Klaus rolled his eyes and was tempted to remove the phone from his ear to avoid getting tinnitus. "It will work, sister. Don't tell me you don't have a little faith in our new friend."

"Friend is hardly the right word, brother, and you know it. You entrusted that manipulative, lying, scheming, unworthy wench with this sensitive topic!"

"Poppycock! Don’t assume I don’t know what I’m doing!" Klaus raised his voice before he reminded himself to stay calm. Of course he still has doubts about the success of his mission but Katerina was desperate. If her life means something to her, she will make sure to make their deal work.

"And have you, omnificent brother, considered that she will use Elijah's weak spot to manipulate him against us? You are delusional to believe that this strumpet can mean anything to him IF she even gets a reaction out of him."

"Stop this nonsense, Rebekah! Of course I am aware of the risk but that's why I won't let her be unsupervised. And if there's anyone outside our family who might have a chance to get through his current lost condition, it's her. Don't believe I haven't noticed how our oh-so-noble brother lusted for her."

"Now you exaggerate, Nik. Elijah didn't lust after her, that hardly is what it was. He probably pitied her. And who can blame him? Elijah always was the one who makes himself strong for the weakest. Even if it happens to be for such a slut as Katherine Pierce. Or Katerina Petrova, doesn't make any difference if I'm honest."

"I hardly matter, does it, sister? As long as she fulfills her mission,  we don't need to get to the bottom of our brother's questionable taste. And if Katerina proves to be useless to us, I simply kill her. It's a win-win for both situations." The corner of his lips curled upwards, vividly imagining the downfall of Katherine Pierce.

"And what if she is successful? Do you simply pardon her?"

The grin on Klaus's lips fade and his expression grew stern.

"I'll see. It probably depends on our dear brother's view. Can't have him turning his back on us again if I kill his lover. Although it wouldn't be the first time." A shrug followed his words, although Klaus is aware this might be going to be a problem in the future. He can't picture Elijah having a serious interest in the doppelgänger but one never knows. Especially because he does remember the time in Mystic Falls, shortly after Elijah handed over the last white oak stake to him, where he asked him to pardon Katerina.

What were his words? 'As your family, as your only living brother, I would ask that you provide me with this opportunity to feel, to care. To love.' If Elijah truly meant what he was saying back then, if his supposed feelings for this horrible doppelgänger weren't a mere charade, then his plan should work out. One could believe him that he would welcome it if it were anyone else but Katerina Petrova. But unfortunately, Elijah had developed a pretty intense connection with her and still seemed to believe he could find the naive human girl somewhere inside her.

A fool, that's all he could say regarding this matter.

And a dangerous fool, Klaus thought to himself. If he doesn't have Katerina under absolute control, there is the risk that she'll make the situation worse. Elijah had already betrayed them once when it came to this horrible person.

"Don't worry, Rebekah. I'll have it under control and as soon as we have Elijah back, we will deal with the Hollow. I'm positive we will see each other soon. Until then, take care of you, little sister."

With that, Klaus ended the phone call and returned his attention to the small, French army that he has created.

▬▬xxx▬▬

Manosque, France

Katherine had been racking her brains over the last few days about how to proceed.

She couldn’t just talk to Elijah and say, 'Hey, your family is waiting for you, they really suck, but they also really miss you so it's still a win for you.'

She also could not try to break his neck and deliver him to Klaus. That was unfortunately not the goal of the task, even if that would have been probably the easiest variant as Elijah was apparently not in an alarm position at the moment.

What else was left? Flirting with him and turning his head? That felt wrong on so many levels.

They had been together once and had separated, or rather, he had separated. She refused to come anywhere close to flirting with him because although she is a great actress, deep down she cannot forget that he rejected her. Trying to force herself to flirt with him would make her feel cheap. Why did she still have to deal with it after all these years? She could have something so much better right now. Well, she could, but then Klaus would tear off her head. She still wonders how he managed to find her. She thought they were finally even...

So what was left? And above all, what would preserve her dignity?

Until further notice, she had limited herself to reluctantly going back to the pub. Reluctantly, because she didn’t want to be near him. Meanwhile, she had no doubt that he could not remember her (otherwise he would have reacted to her, right?), but it still caused her discomfort.

An Original that was potentially out of control was nothing she wanted to be close to. After all, one could not know what such memory loss could do. Although there were no signs of aggressive behavior, Elijah seemed exceptionally peaceful and at peace with herself every day she listened to him play.

Maybe her discomfort was just because she didn’t like looking at him. Not because he wasn’t a handsome man - because he is - but simply because it reminded her of what she had lost. Many years ago...

Apart from that, she had to admit that this new style of clothing, which had nothing to do with his usual formal appearance, looked forbiddenly sharp. The suits were incredibly sexy but these Henleys he apparently started liking to wear? It was a hot look on him. If they didn’t already know each other (or rather knew each other), he would definitely be the type of man she would appeal to.

Even now, when she currently sat in the pub again to watch Elijah play, she felt this feeling arise. It made her remember things she wanted to forget. Not because they were bad things, but because they were good memories; sometimes quite passionate memories.

What was that?

Is she starting to feel attracted to him and dwell in passionate and hot memories just because he looked different and she watched him play?

Please no, she can't have that.

Those were thoughts she felt ashamed of because she didn’t want to feel that way about him. In fact, she hated it. She didn’t want to adore a man, let alone someone who didn’t want her!

Katherine downed her drink and shook her head before she grabbed her purse and left the Pub in the middle of a song he was just playing.

▬▬xxx▬▬

It had been a few days before Katherine dared to go back to the pub. As if she were afraid of what awaited her there (which she certainly was not - at least not in that way).

The last few days she had spent on the Côte d'Azur, away and out of Manosque, switching off her head, enjoying life. Without thinking about Klaus, who probably had her followed. Without thinking about Elijah, her ex, who (fortunately) couldn’t remember her and who she was supposed to bring back to his family. They have been beautiful days. But somehow ..., maybe it was her paranoia, but at some point, she had started to get concerned. As if Klaus were stalking at every corner and waiting to put her to an end.

His appearance in Paris had completely ruined her inner peace. She would even go so far as to say that the fear of him was back. He had surprised her completely unexpectedly and she knew that he was not joking when it came to his brother. If she wasn’t successful then..., then she will have to run again, hide, and assume false identities. A terrible thought.

So before focusing on this disaster, she preferred to focus on the piano.

Admittedly, this activity here was a waste of his talent, his playing was a piece of background music. People listened to him and clapped when he finished his play, but basically, no one really appreciated it. At least not in a way that would have been appropriate.

Elijah had never shown his instrumental talent openly, or rather rarely. She didn’t know the exact reasons for this, but she could imagine that the Elijah she knew would never give his talent to something so inferior.

As in the days before, there were different glasses, empty and some with leftovers on the piano, people chatting while he was playing, toasting each other, laughing loudly, and leaving the building whenever they liked.

Normal behavior in a pub where nothing was out of the ordinary.

At least if you ignored Elijah’s presence - he was the one who didn't fit in there. And yet nothing disturbed him. He seemed like he didn't mind it. Again, the behavior of the people was normal for a pub but the way that Elijah seemed entirely unbothered by the lack of respect?

He, who expected and demanded respect from others, accepted this behavior.

Katherine was sure that - if this had been the normal Elijah - speeches would have been already held and heads would have rolled. Another proof that this man was a different person.

But she thought too much about it again. And thinking too much about the same things wasn't recommended.

Katherine, who was sitting at the bar as usual, emptied her glass and decided to devote herself to her book again. A book whose content she didn’t care about but which was a good cover.

She needed a reason to sit in a pub every night Elijah played there (which was actually not every day). Admittedly, reading was a strange reason to visit a pub, but at least it stopped people from addressing her. The French people are incredibly flirty and of course, tried their luck with any beautiful woman they believed are available. Of course, it was not surprising, but she had actually received several requests for more drinks, to trips, or other flirting attempts. She really preferred that boring book over those fruitless attempts of desperate men.

So that’s what Katherine did. She sat at the bar, ordered a drink from time to time, and also let her gaze wander to Elijah every now and then. Just to make sure that he was still there and that they hadn't switched the player.

She felt quite stupid about it, but she hoped to learn something about him by getting acquainted with this new Elijah. Who knows, maybe she recognized certain patterns?

Every now and then, although she thought it was impossible, she actually lost herself in the book she had procured. Not because it was interesting, but because she preferred to focus on something that had nothing to do with Elijah.

"Mademoiselle, voici un verre pour elle," First, Katherine did not feel addressed, but when the bartender pushed a glass of whiskey over the counter, she raised her head in amazement. She didn’t order anything? And she wouldn’t take a drink from a stranger, either. Precaution, if one so will. It’s nice that a stranger buys her a drink, but she really didn’t need that, especially if she hadn't supervised it.

Katherine closed her book and packed it back in her bag which was just big enough to fit it.

"Non, il doit y avoir un malentendu - no, that must be a misunderstanding. Please tell the person that it is nice, but he should not give his bought drink to me," Katherine retorted and was about to push the glass away from her when an all too familiar voice sounded behind her.

"Forgive me, I didn't intend to insult you."

Katherine turned and looked at Elijah’s face. How had she not noticed that he had stopped playing?

"Don't worry, I definitely didn’t take it as an insult," was all she could respond because she was ... puzzled. How did she end up in this situation where he buys her a drink? He doesn't even know her.

"Then I am reassured. It should actually be just a courtesy because I saw that your glass is empty and I know you're here often."

Did he? Katherine was surprised that he seemed to recognize her from her previous visits.

"That's really nice. Perhaps I should reconsider my initial aversion. Do you like to take a seat? Perhaps we can share a drink." Maybe she should really seize this opportunity, even if it was indeed unexpected. She didn’t expect him to talk to her.

Elijah accepted her invitation, sat down on the empty bar chair next to her, and ordered a beer.  A beer, not even a glass of whiskey, what an unusual choice for him.

"You seem to have had the right instinct, how did you know I liked whiskey?" she asked innocuously and politely, although it was hard to just have a casual conversation with him. He wasn't just anyone, after all.

"I deciphered it from the empty whiskey glass in front of you", he retorted and a tiny smile is playing along his lips. "You’re a tourist, right?"

"What gave me away?", she asked, seriously interested although she thought she knew the answer. She was also thankful that she was capable of coming up with a quick counter-question and not starting to stumble. That would have been embarrassing.

"You speak English and most French don’t speak English within their own country. Admittedly, many aren’t really skilled at it when they do."

"Hmm, can I assume you’re a tourist too? After all, your English is pretty good." A stupid question, after all, she knew that he was not French, but she wanted to keep the conversation going. She had to find out more about him, about this new version of Elijah.

"I wouldn’t call myself a tourist, I’ve lived here for some time."

"Interesting, where do you originally come from, may I ask?"

This question seemed to make him hesitate; she recognized it by the hint of a frown, which was really only slightly indicated.

Does that mean he didn’t know where he had lived before? As far as she knew, he had been living in New Orleans the entire time before this ... loss of memory happened. He couldn't have just woken up in France one day, could he? Why didn’t Klaus give her more information?

"I have lived in the United States before, but I have always felt a connection with France. Life here is simply more beautiful."

"I agree, it really is beautiful here." She could well imagine that the real Elijah would also like it here.

Before she could continue her conversation, Elijah got his beer, which he toasted to her.

"To a continued wonderful stay."

"To a continued wonderful stay," she repeated before she took a sip of her whiskey. Elijah did the same but with his beer which she noticed that he enjoyed. He wasn't grossed out by it - which obviously can be expected because if new Elijah didn't like beer, he wouldn't order it. But still, it was a fascinating discovery.

Katherine also knew that this was probably a unique opportunity that opened up for her here. How and where else would she have such a casual conversation with him? Especially because in this case, it hadn't been her who initiated it and therefore, it's impossible that he could grow suspicious of her.

"Did you ever thought of returning to your homeland?", Katherine finally questioned to keep the conversation going.

Elijah thought about it for a rather quick moment. "No, I don't think of moving away from here. At least not for the moment. I feel at home here, why trade this for something else?"

His question made Katherine wonder if he knows he has family in the United States. If he even misses them in case he knows of them.

"I think I can understand that pretty well. I rarely feel at home somewhere, so if I feel comfortable somewhere, I'm going to enjoy and appreciate it as long as it lasts." Katherine doesn't like to give such insights into her thoughts because it is the truth. Katherine rarely feels at home somewhere, no matter how generous and luxurious the accommodation or how beautiful the landscape is. She is used to not staying for too long; the price of being always on the run. Eventually, even if there's no such reason, she starts to feel uncomfortable. If she stays too long in one place, the risk of someone starting to notice her gets too high. One won't remember a random person but one certainly will remember a frequent guest. Isn't that why she's having this conversation with Elijah in the first place? Because he started to notice her frequent visits? 

It surprised her that she was so ... genuine with him but she assumed that despite everything, he’s still somehow ... him. Perhaps it is what she wanted to believe. In fact, she doesn’t know what she wanted to believe or not. She’s confused and still overtaxed by this surprising conversation. 

Katherine noticed that Elijah watched her with interest. As if he was analyzing something. Is he going to recognize her?

"So I assume you're returning soon to where you initially come from?" he choose to ask which caused her to shake her head with a smile.

"No, I'm on vacation. As I said, the south of France is a beautiful place. The chic beaches, picturesque places, unspoiled landscapes, idyllic mountain villages, and the impressive rocky coasts are definitely worth a visit." It's a shame that she cannot enjoy the beautiful landscape like a normal tourist. "I still have a lot planned and I think I can’t leave until I’ve done everything." 

How true. After all, she had a mission that was unfortunately not as beautiful and easy as marveling at picturesque places and beautiful beaches.

Klaus had ruined France for her. On the other hand..., if she were successful, she might actually be able to start a new chapter. She would be free, her main enemy would no longer be her problem. Anything else would be manageable then.

"That sounds like a very versatile program," said Elijah, bringing his beer to his lips.

Katherine nodded, "It is. It remains to be seen whether I will succeed."

"I keep my fingers crossed for you," he replied before he emptied the last sip of his beer and then conjured an apologetic smile on his lips.

"I have to say goodbye now, the duty calls," he glanced at the abandoned piano with a wink. "It was nice to talk to you and of course, I wish you a continued nice evening."

"Then of course I don’t want to stop you. Thanks again for the drink," she raised the glass a little bit and offered him a genuine smile. Elijah returned the smile, a slight hint of his dimples visible before he returned to the piano.

Now that there was some space between them, Katherine reviewed the conversation. Talking to Elijah was surprisingly easy as if there had never been a past connection between them. And, although she shouldn't interpret too much into it, she still wondered how he noticed her. Sure, the pub wasn't that big but there certainly were other guests who visit frequently as well. Did she feel flattered? Perhaps. But only a little bit. Right? Damn, Katherine!

Although she had sworn to herself that someone like Elijah, someone from the past, someone whose chapter has been closed years ago, had no influence over her anymore, he still seemed to hold some kind of power over her. The thing is ... it felt nice talking to him. So familiar. Like nothing bad ever happened between them. And in all honesty ... she missed these talks she used to have with him.

She knew it was wrong and against her principles. Gosh, she could slap herself for even feeling that way. She couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol or Elijah's new, very unexpected but still very fitting dress style. Only she is at fault and perhaps a cold shower is needed to get some sense back into her.

It really is for the best if she leaves now.

She took her purse and left the pub even before Elijah started to play again. If there’s one thing she’s really good at, it’s running away.

▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬

A/N: Kalijah's first interaction after their breakup. Who would have thought that memory-less Elijah is going to buy her a drink?

Please consider leaving feedback as it keeps my muse for writing alive. ♥

[paperboy-pb]

One of the big themes I want to emphasize in PB is disability acceptance.

As "PAPERBOY" progresses, I'm gonna be showing off how much it hurts to live in a world without it-- having people not accept you solely because of conditions you can only help so much is horrible. And we all deserve to be accepted as we are by the people around us.

But at the same time, you shouldn't feel obligated to love every part of your disability either. Self-acceptance doesn't come naturally to everyone. And who knows, maybe your disability really does get in the way sometimes!

Amelia, Aza, Rudy, etc. don't really mind their situations. They're just used to it, and it barely bothers them, if at all. But maybe you're not like them!

Maybe you're like Wilbur & his Blindness, where your disability is taking away things you loved, leaving you to grieve.

Or maybe you're like Linus & his Epilepsy, where you've found a way to make life work for you but still think it's annoying sometimes.

Maybe you're like Karl & his Down Syndrome; it's not something that you can hide, but sometimes, you wish you could. It'd be nice to blend in with everyone else for a second, you know?

Or maybe you're like Matthew & his health conditions, and you've faced a lifetime of abuse for being born that way. And you're having a hard time accepting yourself as a result.

Or maybe you're like me & only recently got diagnosed with something. And you don't know how to handle it.

...

I got 4, if you're wondering. Autism. Asthma. MDD. But a while back, I found out that I've been suffering PTSD, too. And I didn't take it well. Honestly, I'm still not.

I don't know if it ever truly goes away, and I don't want to live with it. I'm not going anywhere, of course. But I've worked hard enough, man, give me a break! Am I supposed to just be okay knowing that I'm gonna keep having flashbacks & nightmares over stupid shit nobody understands? Having a TV in my head that constantly loops home videos I never wanted to see again?

It's not fair. I'm not even 20. I shouldn't have such dark, smudged skin under my eyes.

I revel in being autistic. I've made it work for me, and in my case, I find almost no downsides. And I don't really mind my Asthma anymore. I've had it pretty much my whole life now, & I'm kinda just used to it. Same thing with Depression, although I'm obviously not happy to have that one, either.

With PTSD though, it's newer. I've only had symptoms for a few years, and I've only known what was wrong for one. And I have to worry.

Is something gonna set it off? What do I do when it acts up? I'm interested in someone-- is my PTSD gonna be too much for them to handle? I feel weak, and if anything, I'm mad at me for getting traumatized in the first place!

I know I was a kid & that the trauma was genuinely bad, but... I'm a bit of a New York hard-ass. I'm supposed to be tougher than this, man! I was supposed to come out on top, brush it off & overcome it like I'm the shit.

A life with something as debilitating as PTSD is not what I had in mind. It's like... an injury, almost. You look at the damage and go, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

And I know I have to learn to accept life with PTSD one day. Because if I don't accept myself, I'm gonna be fighting myself & making it worse as hell. But I don't like how it holds me back in life. Or the toll it's taken on my body. And y'know what, we disabled people can be mad about that shit!

Why shouldn't we?

...

We're allowed to be hurt over it. We're allowed to be angry, annoyed, displeased, or whatever else we feel about it.

Getting back to Paperboy, we already know that Matthew struggles with being a disabled kid because he's been brought up to believe that being so is synonymous with worthlessness & inferiority. Not only that, but it's been a lot of bad people's "excuse" for targeting him. So... he hates it.

And that's okay for now. It's his to think about. Not anybody else's.

But he's not going to stay there, either. Because if you wanna live your life to the fullest, you're gonna need to live *with* disability. Because it is a part of life. Like it or not. And one day, he'll find a way to live with that.

If you notice anybody struggling with internalized ableism, or disability grief, or even just frustration... help them, but don't push them into acceptance too hard, either. It's a process.

Trust the process.

[mushibashiraas]

🛒 I JUSR REALIZED HOW AWFUL AND ROBOTIC I SOUNDFJDJDJ LIKE. i come back after posting the ruggie fic and redoing my theme only to drop a to do list and dip againdjsjdjs ah. uh.

so life update ig? eh. i can talk more about my chronic migraines too since the life update is mainly about themfjdjdj oops. BUCKLE TF UP BC THIS'LL BE LONG (still dont know how to add the "more under the cut" thing on mobile tumblr. too lazy to get out my laptop)

this whole week has been insane! context: my migraines are triggered by bright light, loud sounds, motion-sickness-games (i.e. genshin, Identity V, etc.), weather pressure changes, rainy days/nights, storms, and dramatic temperature fluctuations..... but mainly the last four.

anyway. this week had the first and the second triggers. (and towards the end of this week is supposed to have the last trigger. yay!) one of the things that happens (IF i push myself to power through and "stay conscious" — more on that in a bit) is that i faint. like. not "faint for a couple minutes." nahhhh! i go out for like 10-40 minutes; normally the max is 20. but occasionally, a 40 minute episode'll occur and those are the scary ones.

on tuesday, i had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist pertaining to said migraines and fainting. while waiting to check in, i passed out and fell (i was standing at the time). and the staff and nurses were worried i hit my head so they called for an ambulance to drive me across the street to the hospital ER. i was there all afternoon and almost all night. i finally went home at 11pm. i'll spare yall of the more personal details (what tests were done, the overall experience, etc). all i'll say is that there's a reason why i hate hospitals and needles.

but the visit was long and tedious and terrifying and painful. i cried several times, as well as fainted a few more times between when i came to just as the paramedics arrived and a little after the technicians performed EKGs, etc. [like they usually do whenever someone is first admitted to the ER]. those fainting episodes were only a few minutes tho. not long at all. don't worry!

*sighs* anyway. that visit defined my entire week tho bc i ended up missing a day of work on thursday and a korean language class on wednesday. still felt the usual symptoms (most likely the aftermath) like dizziness, nausea, a heavy, sluggish feeling, soreness/headaches, loss of eyesight, etc.

hope this explanation helps??? i'll get back to writing and gaming soon. aaaaa i have a guaranteed yelan to get ready for anyway. heehee

EDIT: i forgot to add that yall shouldnt worry too much! sorry if i scared yall! these migraines and fainting episodes aren't manageable yet. even tho i can go to work sometimes, i cant drive, take horseback riding lessons (i used to take them), and go to/continue college,,,, i've had them since 2013?? 2014?? and am on medication for them as well as going to a neurologist and cardiologist who are both monitoring my condition and trying to help me and get them manageable so i can do all the aforementioned things i said i can't do.

also, it's not as uncommon as i seem to make it to be. several celebrities (look up Ben Affleck migraines) have chronic migraines, as well as several families/people/co-workers also have or have dealt with chronic migraines and passing out due to them. my own mom and older brother — altho they aren't biologically related to me — also have bad/chronic migraines. my family actually make jokes about my migraines and say i'm a walking barometer lol if anyone lives in the northeastern U.S. text me and check if a storm is coming. lol i can most likely tell you; if i migraine than yes. if i don't than no. lol /j but all jokes aside,,, again. don't worry too much for me. ok? i'm still functioning even if it's at low-HP/hu tao levels (a little genshin/gamer joke/comparison for yall). i'm still shino/em, someone who is so in love with jamil and xiao and rindou that they'll devote all their time and resources to taking care of them. heehee! ❤️❤️

[fromsiberia]

@weirdnaturalscience there is a very good post about the whole "whose lives matter" in twitter. It's in Russian, so I used googletranslate.

Akso: "To wear a white coat" means to condemn another person from a position from above and at the same time directly or indirectly indicate that the wearer of the white coat himself is, well, completely different, has never been and never will be loke this."(c)

They'll be accused of cannibalism again, I suppose, but forget it. Following in the footsteps of Japan, Gaza and the Dyer, I roughly designed the algorithm of the white coat. It is very simple and in the media sphere it will always put something into orbit. Translate post 4:37 AM · Dec 25, 2023 · 65.4K Views

IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 First of all, we have a problem that NEEDS to be solved. If you don't solve it, things will get worse. Well, that's gangrene. Or a terrorist who kills a hostage a day. Or the sea washing away the shore. If nothing is done, gangrene will wash away the body, the terrorist will kill everyone, and the coast will collapse with houses. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash ·

Dec 25, 2023 The first rule of the white coat is not to be in the position of solving the problem. Even hypothetically. Even under the conditions of "let's discuss solutions over a bottle of wine." He will kick with all his wings, close his eyes, refer to incompetence, etc. But at any cost he will wave it off. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash

Dec 25, 2023 He does this because he knows/feels that there are no ideal solutions. Absolutely any activity leads to a result that not only did not even come close to the ideal, but on the way to it also gave rise to other problems that also need to be solved somehow. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 Well, you can't put stains on coats. Then it will stop being white. Therefore, on the first line of defense, the Poles are fighting back with the options "I do not know how to solve THIS, but YOU can't do THAT!", avoiding the elaboration of "well, let's talk about how to lie." IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 The second rule: if you are lured into exploring alternatives, you should always offer options for the world of fairies, butterflies and shiny ponies.

If there's gangrene, then there's probably a pill that you put on your forehead, and it'll go away right away! and there is no gangrene. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 If it is necessary to destroy production and the military, then let's ask the military to leave the hospital and line up in the yard on that wasteland. And the production facilities are probably outside the city. No, of course, no one builds houses around a factory or a factory, this is nonsense. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 Listen, we're living in 2023! Sure enough, the military has homing lasers and good and bad recognition systems, and bombs like these with wings… and in general, the military is when at the front a hundred kilometers from the nearest kindergarten, are you a fool? Have you watched any anime about this? IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 The white coat almost always does not want to calculate the steps from the task to the result. His world is like in cartoons. Here there is a salad of the bad and the good, here the coat blinked, here are the bad ones in one plate, and the good ones in the other. He believes that there is some kind of magic on Earth that does this. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And therefore … writes down as bad all those who do not use this magic. Absolutely. There is. Way. To share. Salad. On. Two. Plates. You are bad and bad people, if you do it wrong, if the result is different for you. So you haven't used magic, but you're doing it all wrong. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 The third rule: all people are brothers and sisters to these brothers. This is a very nice position. No, really. The bullshit is that in reality it's in the future, maybe everyone will get related from one white, light, clear DNA, but now there are millions of very evil people with guns on the planet. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And for the life of you, that dude over there doesn't consider you a brother. He wants to stab you at all. He's not even the only one, but there's a whole battalion of them. Why, their division. And not alone. There are naturally millions of them, if you count all the ISIS, Taliban, Jihadis and other crap, not counting Solntsevo. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And a white coat, if pressed against the wall, in 90% of cases will offer a universal sweet solution: to persuade, understand, forgive, convince with something kind. In his world, it should work. It can't fail to work. You approach a Hamas man and say, "My brother, don't shoot a rocket in the pipe."

The fourth rule: in any incomprehensible situation, say "we don't know what would have happened." Yes, dude, you're absolutely right, at this stage of the development of civilization we cannot predict the next minute with a 100% guarantee, but… no, the meteorite (by the way, if you Google "meteorite", it's beautiful) is not.. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 .. it will not suddenly fall on the head of an ISIS fighter holding a knife at the girl's throat. Well, that is, there is some probability, of course, but… Damn, meteorites don't fall on the heads of ISIS. But the sniper shoots in the forehead. NO, WE STILL KNOW THAT IT WON'T FALL! YES, WE MUST SHOOT! YES, THIS IS MURDER! IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 The fifth rule: murder is always bad. Well, like yes… There are no bad people… and if you do, you can change your mind… and if it is impossible, then why not arrange for them a comfortable base on the Moon, send them there with a complete BSE, and ten years later not take the professors? IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 Finally, the sixth rule: sacrifice your own for the sake of others, it's noble. This is a matter of Light. Here I would like to linger, because you can't pull out a white coat for such a direct formulation, even though it is constantly draughty.

You're a Martian. Next to you is a Martian wife and a Martian son. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And a hundred meters away from you, a Venusian is tying his Venusian son to a grenade. It's more convenient to throw this way. Well, you won't shoot a doublet at a child flying towards you, will you? Yes, the coat sees the grenade. But the Venusian children… they are so cute, they have six legs, wonderful red ears. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 Anyway, in the world of the white coat, you humbly wait for this six-legged one to reach you and explode along with your wife and your son. You didn't kill anyone. In the opinion of the white coat, you are a good person. A little dead, though. So is your family. But the coat is white. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And, in general, this last example describes 99% of the dialogues with a white coat.

There is a problem that NEEDS to be solved in a finite period of time - until the grenade reaches.

There is a solution that just exists — a shotgun in your hands. Yes, not ideal. But there is no other way. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 There is full confidence that the grenade will somehow cripple the life of your family, even if it has not yet reached.

There is an observer who has already drawn in his head the death of a Venusian baby from your shot, therefore you are ALREADY to blame. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 The observer is flapping his wings and giving advice.

Make an agreement with the Venusian, let him return the grenade back!

Shoot one pellet into the fuse, kill it!

Jump two meters and spread your limbs, catch all the pieces! IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And here it is worth pausing the scene and going up to the white coat to ask questions. Even a question, probably. One thing is enough: why should I sacrifice myself and my family in favor of the enemy? What kind of perverted morality and ethics is this? Well, go and sacrifice your own, no question. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 It won't do.

Do you know what particularly hooked me about the 07/10 tragedy? The fact that the kibbutzim of people who drowned for peace with Gaza, for understanding and forgiveness were destroyed. Hamas killed activists for all the good things. Those who have been convincing Israel for many years that there are peaceful and good people behind the wall. IsraeliHadash @IsraeliHadash · Dec 25, 2023 And from a certain point of view, they are the people who, under the screams of the white poles, did not shoot a Venusian child flying at them on a grenade. Now they are dead, and the children on the grenades are dead, and the one who threw the grenade is dead, and the Gas is changing the landscape. And the white coat is still unhappy.

@fromsiberia

hi! I want to take a moment to have a civil conversation with you.

I don't know what Israel "should" do, but what I strongly believe they shouldn't do is engage in mass killing of civilians as shown in the post. All people have human rights: Palestinians and Israelis. An astonishingly high percentage of Palestinians are children. I think it's entirely fair to criticize Israel for its total lack of regard for human life. There are other ways of fighting terrorism than this. There are other options.

Mass killing isn't a solution to terrorism. In fact, it may make terrorist threats worse. Some news sources are reporting an increased support for Hamas within Palestine since the bombardment. It's not hard to see why - Palestinian civilians must feel Israel is trying to exterminate them, and Hamas can easily use Israel's violence to recruit. I think that if Israel actually cared about fighting Hamas they would be fighting Hamas specifically and solely, not killing Palestinians indiscriminately. Palestinian civilians are not Hamas.

This article is unfortunately behind a paywall but the website also allows you a certain number of "free articles." I highly recommend reading or listening to it: it's about a man's experience fleeing Gaza.

I understand wondering "how can terrorism be combated?" but the answer needs to be "not at the expense of valuing all human life."

[threeimagineryboys]

all my fave lgbtq+ shows happen to air around the same time and now they’re all on hiatus, pre-production etc. like... how am I supposed to live under these conditions? no stranger things? no our flag means death? no heartbreak high? no young royals? FOR OVER A YEAR????? *dying*

[catgirlforkaeya]

Stuck for ideas?

You should write a thing about you patching Kaeya up! You already have one about him patching reader up, so you could just complete the set

Alternatively- nightmares! So much angst potential, so much fluff potential! Two of my most beloved things, aside from Kaeya and your writing of course <3

patching him up

kaeya x gn!reader

synopsis: kaeya comes home from a mission injured

word count: 977

hurt/comfort + fluff at the end

warnings: blood + injuries

a/n: i am so sorry this took awhile anon 😭 i’ve been meaning to write but my excuse is that i watched seraph of the end and began the manga and crowley has invaded my mind please help he’s fine asf ☝️ hopefully i can get back into writing soon tho

“so… how exactly did this happen?” you spoke softly, gently running your fingers over open wounds before grabbing disinfectant.

“treasure hoarders— my cover got blown and they decided to jump me,” kaeya scoffed under his breath, adverting his gaze to the side.

kaeya was supposed to be out on a week long mission… but that mission was forced to end early due to the fact somebody blew his cover. you weren’t expecting him back for another three days, so when he opened the door all bloody and bruised it was truly quite the surprise. this wasn’t the first time he’s come home in this shape, and you knew it definitely was not going to be the last.

you let out a small sigh as you began to run the disinfectant over kaeya’s wounds. once you got the blood stopped and cleaned up you realized thankfully they weren’t as bad as you thought. at first glance the cuts seemed to be a few layers thick, but majority of them only made it past the skin. overall this was a highly concerning predicament— nobody wants to see the love of their life show up bleeding all over the place.. but you were relieved none of the injuries were very severe.

the two of you spent the next few minutes in silence. the only noises that could be heard throughout your living room was kaeya’s still-panicked breathing and the opening of plastic. the eye stinging scent of disinfectant filled the room, making your nose feel like it was on fire. you were trying your best to move as quickly as possible so that you could hopefully end kaeya’s pain fast, but your mind was not cooperating. you kept dropping stuff, accidentally grabbing the wrong thing, etc. each time you messed something up you felt yourself die inside a little.

“hun you don’t need to rush,” kaeya broke the silence. you paused and looked up at him— he must’ve picked up on your frantic actions.

“i know— i just don’t want you to keep bleeding and stay in pain any longer,” a frustrated sigh escaped your lips. you continued working your way around his body, noting that you only had one more wound left to take care of.

“i’ll be fine, it’s not the first time i’ve ended up like this. plus you’ve seen me in worse conditions,” he let out a dry and forced laugh. you could tell he was trying his best to brighten the mood with some humor.

“this is becoming more frequent though. the last few missions that jean has sent you on have ended with you getting injured in some way. two months ago it was a sprained wrist and broken finger, last month it was a concussion! how many more missions until you end up—“ you paused mid sentence. your brain was realizing what you’d just said, and when you saw the look on kaeya’s face you felt guilt flood you. you’d never really snapped like that before, so it caught both of you off guard.

“i’m so sorry i-“ tears welled in your eyes before you could say anything else, your voice beginning to crack. you took this as a sign from the universe to stop talking, so you did so.

“it’s.. okay,” kaeya looked down at the ground, shifting a little under your touch. “you’re right.”

silence once again filled the room. this time it wasn’t a peaceful silence. this was the type of silence that suffocated you, slowly choking you until you could barely breathe at all. your lungs felt like they were being crushed.

thankfully you finished bandaging kaeya’s wounds not too long after the silence began. once you got done checking everywhere to make sure you didn’t miss anything, you stepped out into the bathroom. you shuffled around through the drawers looking for some form of painkillers.

you brought a glass of water and two pain killers out, handing them to kaeya as you sat down next to him. you shifted uncomfortably every few seconds, unsure of what to do. kaeya didn’t seem mad at you— but at the same time it’s hard to read him in conditions like this.

next thing you knew you felt kaeya’s arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into his bare chest. he winced a little at your body accidentally brushing over the bandaged wounds, which caused you to apologize profusely.

“thank you for taking care of me,” he rested his chin on the top of your head, rubbing small circles into your back with his thumb.

you lifted your head up and placed a few kisses on his jawline, trailing up to his lips.

“you’re welcome hun. what kind of partner would i be if i didn’t help bandage you up?”

kaeya let out a soft hum at your joke, a faint smile coming across his face. now that you two were close you could see the exhaustion written all over his face. you started to wonder how long it’d been since he last slept well.

“why don’t we get to bed?” you reached up to cup his cheek, faintly brushing over his cheekbone. “and take the next few days off, please. you need to rest.”

“where’s all this sudden worrying come from?” he raised an eyebrow at you, causing you to place a gentle slap to his bare chest. both of you let out laughs at the same time, the room filling with giggles.

“fine, fine. i’ll tell jean tomorrow that i’m taking leave, but only because you asked so nicely,” he placed a kiss to your forehead, then to your nose. you scrunched your face a little, giggling once again.

it felt nice having things back to normal, the tension from earlier was long gone. kaeya and you were back to your usual teasing games, just how it should be.

© all rights reserved to catgirlforkaeya. reposting, plagiarizing, modifying, and translating is NOT allowed.

[devildomdisaster]

I’d like to request a body switching scenario with [Satan, Asmo, Beelz, Solomon, Simeon] and an Gender Neutral MC with undisclosed chronic health issues. Like brittle bones that break if you step a little goofy, stress ulcers, sensitivity to light, joint pain, poor stamina, etc. I just want to see the boys go “You live like this?!”

Satan:

Satan has a habit of collecting rare magical objects. Somehow quite a few of these cause body-switching incidents.

The cursed object causes the two of you to lose consciousness for a few minutes. When he wakes up he is in immediate pain.

His first thought is that the spell must have caused this and you must be in pain too! If he, a demon, is in this much pain it must be excruciating for a human.

He rushes to you or tries to. But falls to his knees in shock as a shooting pain runs through him.

He blinks watering eyes and sees his body stirring on the floor and realizes you’ve switched bodies.

You sit up feeling better than you’ve felt in years. Wondering if this is ‘normal’ or if that cursed object gave you super healing.

It’s only when you hear your own voice calling your name that you realize you and Satan have switched bodies.

You can see the tears in his(your body's) eyes and know exactly what's happening. You’ve had chronic pain for years. And Satan is sitting in just the right way to send shooting pain up your spine.

“Lay down on your back,” you order him. He has just enough control to follow your order and lower your body down slowly.

You can see Satan’s relief on your face as the pain eases slightly. It takes a moment for the worst of the pain to subside and his breath to even out.

He’s staring at the ceiling when he speaks, voice still a little shaky, “You live like this?”

You hum out a yes.

“All- all the time?” he asks, horrified.

“Sometimes it's worse than others. If I move or sit in certain ways it gets real bad. But if I avoid those movements it’s bearable.”

Satan turns to you “This is what you call bearable?!”

You shrug, “That position is usually pretty safe. So yeah probably.”

He is careful to move your body a little as possible as he shifts to point at a spellbook. “That book-”

“Are you going to change us back?” you ask.

“I-” he hesitates. Clearly not wanting you to be in pain again.

“Look, Satan it’s not that I don’t enjoy being pain-free. But I’ve dealt with it for years now. I’ve learned how to function around it. I had to. You on the other hand are going to be laying on the floor for most of the day if you stay in my body.”

“I’m going to find a way to fix you.” He says firmly as you place the book in his hands.

“Promises, promise,” you sing, preparing yourself to experience the pain in your body again.

“I mean it. As soon as I can move again I am going to find a way to help you. Devildom magic has to be better than human medicine.”

Asmo:

Asmo bought you matching bracelets. “Look Mc, I bought us these bracelets! They are supposed to bring us closer together!”

Well, they did bring you closer together. Just not in the way Asmo intended.

When he clasped the bracelets on, you felt a shiver go down your spine and when you opened your eyes you felt...different. Better. There was no aching pain. For once the dazzling lights of Asmo’s room didn’t cause you to wince. That's when you realize you’ve switched bodies.

Asmo on the other hand immediately cringed and squeezed his eyes closed, clutching his(your) head.

Asmo groaned pitifully, teary eyes squinting at you “Mc, how do you do anything like this??”

He curls up beneath his covers, and you make your way around his room turning off all the lights and closing his curtains. Once the light is gone, Asmo peers out from beneath the covers, “Do you live like this all the time?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“No wonder your room is so dark. I thought you were just being dramatic.”

You shrug at him, “The Devildom is better than the human realm. There’s no bright sunlight here.”

Once the spell wears off, Asmo keeps the bracelet on both as a reminder of how you live with this chronic illness and as the intended purpose of showing how close the two of you are.

He buys you super dark glasses to try and filter out some of the bright light that bothers you.

and asks Solomon to help him find any magical treatments that might help you.

Beel:

Beel and you switch bodies after eating some of Solomon’s cooking.

Neither of you wants to eat Solomon’s cooking, but you had the misfortune to be the only two people who couldn’t find an excuse to get out of it.

Beel doesn’t know how it happened, Solomon doesn’t know how it happened, you sure as hell don’t know how this happened. But here you are with a strange magic ‘cake’ in hand, looking at your body from Beel’s eyes.

Your first thought is how strong you feel in Beel’s body. Like you could do anything. The exhaustion and joint pain you normally deal with is gone.

Is this how normal people live? Although you suppose a demon doesn’t count as a normal human, so it’s not such a good comparison.

You watch as Beel catches himself on the counter as he adjusts to the symptoms of your illness.

He lowers your body to the ground. Sitting gingerly as the movement causes the joint pain to flare.

“Mc, is this how you feel every day?” He is so so concerned about you! How do you function if you feel like this all the time? “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”

“It’s ok, Beel. I’ve figured out how to deal with it.”

“It is not ok. Mc, we could have helped you!”

It’s strange to be lectured by your own voice and body. But Beel does a good job of it. He insists that you have to tell him when your symptoms act up and convinces you to let him speak with Lucifer about trying some magical treatments.

The potion doesn’t wear off for several hours. You feel a tad bit guilty about enjoying this when Beel is so obviously suffering, but you can’t remember the last time you felt so good. So capable.

Once the spell wears off Beel insists on carrying you around so you aren't as fatigued and to avoid aggravating your joint pain.

Be prepared for trying a string of different potions and spells to treat your illness, under the watchful eyes of Beel and Lucifer.

Solomon:

After hearing about Lucifer and Satan’s body-switching incident Solomon went looking for another cursed book.

He’d heard some rumor about Satan’s book having a twin and was determined to find it.

And find it he did.

You accidentally touched the book at the same time as him and switched bodies.

Solomon is more intrigued than anything else. “Do you live like this all the time? If so, you do a remarkable job of hiding it.”

He is going to test the limits of your body’s capabilities. He wants to know what situations cause pain or discomfort so that you can’t pretend to be ok when you aren’t.

You’ll have to warn him if he is doing anything that might permanently harm your body.

Unlike some of the others, Solomon doesn’t immediately look for a way to switch back.

When the spell wears off Solomon has a near-complete understanding of your condition. He knows what causes pain, what doesn’t, and what situations you should absolutely avoid.

“Mc, you need to stop pretending you are ok when you’re not. I’ll be here to help you when you need it. And if that help happens to be stopping you from doing foolish things to save face then so be it.”

Solomon keeps a close eye on you from now on. He respects you enough to not tell anyone about your condition if you don’t want him to, but he will also come up with the strangest excuses to remove you from activities he knows will aggravate your condition.

If there is magic that can be used to help you Solomon will find it. Just be prepared to feel a little bit like a lab rat while he figures out the perfect spell or potion to help you.

Simeon:

Simeon wants to know what it feels like to be human. He thinks it would give him a greater understanding of humanity.

He mentions this to Solomon, who being the chaos loving wizard he is, makes a potion to allow Simeon to switch bodies with you.

The problem occurs when Solomon 'forgets’ to tell you both that he’s already put the potion in your tea.

Simeon is shocked. He finds himself in your body. Looking at himself through your eyes. And by god does your body hurt!

“Mc, I’m dreadfully sorry, but I think Solomon’s little joke may have gone wrong. I-everything hurts.”

You blink at Simeon...er Simeon in your body. Mind taking a moment to catch up with the sudden body switch. You feel great. Part of that might be due to being in an angel's body, but mostly it's due to the lack of pain.

“Oh, everything's fine on my end. So it must be my chronic pain. It’s worse today than others.”

“Wh-what do you do when it’s bad?”

“Usually I try to distract myself. Or try to take a nap and hope I wake up feeling better. But we’d made plans and I didn’t want to cancel so…”

“So you decided to deal with extra pain for my sake? Oh, Mc. You should have told me you live like this. I can help”

“There’s no point, Simeon. Not a single doctor I’ve been to has found anything wrong with me. I didn’t want anyone here to pity me.”

“I am an angel, Mc. I’m quite sure I can do a bit more than your human doctors.”

You help Simeon to his room where you spend the afternoon watching human world movies to help distract him.

Simeon sleeps fitfully next to you and as you drift off you wonder if that is how you always look when you let your guard down enough to show your pain.

When the potion wears off you are both asleep, curled up next to each other.

When you wake up you are back in your own body. Simeon is sitting next to you slipping a charmed bracelet onto your wrist. “This is from the Celestial realm. It should help keep your pain at a more manageable level until I can find a more permanent solution.”