#how am i still awake lol
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miguxadraws · 10 months ago
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more rat
i will try to control myself now i swear
sillies belong to @spitinsideme
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frostgnawdraws · 25 days ago
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Messy sketches of gabbro, chert and riebeck in casual clothes bc I've been fighting for my life every time I draw one of these three and I decided to just sit down and fuck around with them until I figured out their vibes. They will probably still evolve as I draw them more but!!! I'm pretty happy with them now!!!
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neonpigeons · 5 months ago
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friday nights always feel the loneliest
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fitzselfships · 27 days ago
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Cool so at 4 almost 5 am my brain decides What if you had a dream about how you don't fit in at all with your family, a panic attack the minute you wake up and started thinking about if Zooble would Acrually love you or leave you for someone else given the chance lol and I'm once again forced to just sit there. Cool thanks brain that Really helps 👍 /Heavy sarcasm wtf this sucks :[
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keeps-ache · 29 days ago
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good morning and merry christmas !! aesthetic photo of my cookies be upon ye
#just me hi#i put them on the plate and then the little devil and my shoulder said Hey what if we spent the next 20+ minutes editing it#and they were right that was fun lmfvshgh#Except for looking for a glitter brush on ibis! why are all the thumbnails so blurry it hurts my eyes Ghfksfjvk#yea the phone is working out good :) i'm gonna be taking pictures of everything now ehehehgh#also forgot to eat these for the 20+ minutes i was playing w/ the pictures#my breakfastttt: (went to go count but i have eaten some now. ouh) ✋10 🤚 christmas cookies :3#they're little ones- oh hey these pretzel one are kinda salty! yaaay#i like the swirly/horseshoe ones the most though. nyum#/we have pozole my mom made last night but i think that has to be warmed up hfhsvh#we got back from christmas midnight mass and everyone- Everyone (crazy) went to bed as soon as we got home lmfhvshg#i don't think that's ever happened. usually a couple are still awake until dawn and Then they go to sleep lol#yea but we didn't even get to try to the pozole last night <//3 helped to strain it last night though :D it smelled kinda sweet+spicy so ou#//we're waiting til i think friday or saturday for presents this year because of the Events so noo wrapping cleaning today 🎉💥 kfsvh#and i've been asked what i wanted. see i don't have that trouble of suddenly not having a want in the world: i just kinda don't have that#already for some reason lmao ?? so yea default state. do you think i'll get socks kfshvfh#//do love having to go back into my tags and add the topic slash bc every topic is related All the time Forever lmfsh#//hey but i DO need socks HEY i'm not joking anymore. don't want any with patterns though they will bother me lol#cuz unless i like the patterns i am not going to wear them :/ that is unless i think they're silly then they pass#are they holiday-themed? i'll prolly still wear them during the fourth of july so we can guarantee 1 whole day of use lhfshvjg#however during the warmer days (anything above 55 degrees) i wear chanclas w/o socks. so maybe not so much guaranteed#and also if i can't find it's match i will just never wear it again. truly tragic#i'm painstakingly matching my plain white socks i can Not handle patterned socks again#/wait was this post about cookies. dude how did we get here Lmfjvskfhvahfhvj#//Okay i'm gonna ummm#Ummmmmmmm#uuuuhm. draw :3 Toodles !! merry christmas !! <3
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goblin-enjoyer · 3 months ago
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I swear why are half the things i like/fandoms im in made of mostly younger people while the other half are mostly older people? what are the zoggin odds with that?
How it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 30-40 somethings.
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VS how it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 14-17 somethings.
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like am do i just have extremely odd luck with things i like or is this just what being 20 is like?
#I go browse homestuck twitter and find out an artist I like is turning 16. I go to warhammer twitter and see a meme poster I enjoy is almost#three times my age.#like how do you get a person to somehow feel too old to be in a one fandom yet too young to be in the another?#i know this sounds stupid but it happens every time i like something#world of warcraft has people who have been playing this game for as long as i have been alive#despite aging with the game minecraft is primarily youngsters#team fortress 2 is somehow both too young and too old a fanbase#i've long since reconciled with the fact pretty much everything i like is over a decade old but why cant i just like something with a ->#similar age base? like it would be nice to interact with people that like similar things i like on a consistent basis.#I don't want to buzz around my 2 friends ears trying to not talk too much about my interests. Don't get me wrong I love those two gits but-#its not like i can complain about those childish gits who kept blocking the good fishing nodes in world of warcraft#I cant share my homestuck art and make references to characters that they don't know#I like making references! references make up roughly 1/3rd my jokes! Heck they make up my zogging dialogue too!#HECK I SAY ZOG AND GIT BECAUSE I AM A BLOODY STUPID MIMIC! I'M NOT EVEN BRITISH I LIVE IN MASSACHUSETTS!#YET EVERY TIME I GET A NEW “main interest” OR WHATEVER I END UP TAKING IN ZOGGIN SPEECH PATTERNS FROM THE DANG THINGS!#I ONCE MUTTERED “merde” WHEN THINGS WENT WRONG FOR LIKE OVER A YEAR BECAUSE SPY SAID IT AND ONLY STOPPED WHEN MY BILINGUAL AND FRENCH TAKIN#FATHER AND BROTHER RESPECTIVELY TOLD ME IT MEANT SHIT#I SAY “SLAPS ME ON THE KNEE” AND “SUCKS ON ICE” BECAUSE OF A MAIN INTEREST!#MY POSTURE GOT BETTER SOLELY BECAUSE I DID NOTHING BUT LEVEL A ZANDALARI HUNTER UNTIL LEVEL 120.#WHEN LAUGHING A MODERATE AMOUNT I DO THE /LOL ORC EMOTE. WHEN CHUCKLING I PUT MY HAND ON MY MOUTH LIKE SHIVER FROM SPLATOON BLOODY 3!!!#I HAVE BEEN UNINTENTIONALLY MIMICKING THINGS I LIKE FOR YEARS! I BOB MY HEAD AND WALK DIGITIGRADE BECAUSE I HEARD BIRDS/DINOSAURS DO IT TO-#BALANCE WHEN WALKING. AND THE ONLY REASON I SUCKED AT RUNNING WAS BECAUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I WATCHED A SCENE OF ICE AGE WHERE SID WAS WAL#ING AND MIMICKED HOW HE WALKED FOOT -> FOOT INSTEAD OF HEEL -> TOE HEEL -> TOE#AND NOW I GUESS I'M JUST WAITING FOR WHAT ILL GET FROM HOMESTUCK HUH#ugh if you can't tell this is a midnight brainrot post. i may be awake and on my computer but this still has the energy of that kind of pos#saturday warhammer and the following wendys browsing for ya folks.#midnight brainrot#Man i needed to get those off my chest#not like anyone reads these midnight brainrot posts anyways#oh yeah gotta tag art and paint.net so i can easily find these drawings later if i need them
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god
#purrs#but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so#fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done.#like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong#enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long#and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and#consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that#everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered#out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am#forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR#FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY#FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am#the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i#HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help#and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL#delete later
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orcelito · 8 months ago
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The upstairs thumping started again around midnight, right when I started trying to sleep. It's even more infuriating when I have to be up at 7 am. I've been getting absolute dogshit sleep this week, and it's largely because of them. It's been 4 nights in a row, and I am So Fucking Tired.
I'm going to leave a note on their door tomorrow asking them to stop. And if they do it again tomorrow, I'm submitting a noise complaint. I don't fucking care.
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hexjulia · 7 months ago
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deleted the last probably a bit alarming sounding post but hey thank you for wishing me well. and i'm fine. i pulled through and did the soil thing on 2 hours of sleep + asked some people to help. everything went very well tbh.
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truckstoptigers · 11 months ago
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i hate being fine all day & then all of a sudden feeling miserable
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roscoehamiltons · 1 year ago
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there’s a rumour that Lewis is driving for Ferrari this year, not 2025, but how is that going to work with Carlos, who is also still contracted to drive for Ferrari this year?? is he just gonna sit out or what 😭
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scourgefrontiers · 2 years ago
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taking a third shot at my evilverse by renaming it the darkverse instead..whipped up a couple stories for patoto and kinpa and man. theyre edgy!
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defrogatory · 7 days ago
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can't believe i started to have a psychotic episode at work today wtf !!!!
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coridallasmultipass · 28 days ago
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#im gonna cry i went thru my back injury log diary journal note thing#i wrote out the important parts so i have a paper version with me for my appointment w the back specialist tomorrow#and im just so fucking scared man i dont want to have my back pressed on its gonna hurt so fucking badly getting prodded tmr#especially after the long car ride there#and i really dont want to be awake rn im so fucking scared but i still have to do my pt exercises tonight but like#fuck im scared i have no idea what the treatment is gonna be or if the doctor is gonna be mean#ive started seeing just a tiny bit of improvement over the last week but its so fucking marginal but its like#its a fact of life that im gonna hurt after my appointment#like hshahdjshks im panicking now lol fuck i dont want to do this#ive been waiting basically since MAY.#i dont want to be sober rn man i cant take anxiety pills this late bc i need sleeping meds more but im so fucking scared#i just wanna be able to sleep and not think about appointments#its fucking cold in my room too so all my whole body hurts rn i wanna get in bed but i HAVE to do the pt exercises#especially bc of the slight improvement like okay maybe the small exercises were what i needed#sucks that it takes an hour to do them all like im fucking freezing rn#just fuckk man#its been months of trauma so tomorrow is important and i dont want the months of waiting to be for nothing#im still in a lot of fucking pain rn too ofc but like im scared more rn#when am i gonna be able to relax#like genuinely relax#its like a whole struggle just to do the functions that keep me alive#im so fucking tired of everything#i know im prob gonna start panicking in the doctors office and not be able to voice my words#its so fucking hard to talk about how traumatic this whole year has been for me#it started w endo in january 2nd and then everything else after sucked lmao like ugh fuck theres too much weighing on the appointment tmr#delete later / /#personal / /#ShitPost.exe#medical / /
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reidrum · 7 months ago
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like i would | s.r
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pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3
cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,
summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged
wc: 4.5k
_____________
you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.
spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn’t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows. 
it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.
so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.
apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy. 
spencer doesn’t buy it.
he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’
it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.
the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.
the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.
“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”
“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.
“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.
“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”
emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”
“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.
“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”
“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.
spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?
spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.
he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.
“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”
he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”
you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.
he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.
“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.
the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.
“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.
spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).
but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.
not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.
so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”
you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”
“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”
pulling away to sit far from him on the couch,  you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”
“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”
“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”
he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”
“what’s what spence, let me go.”
“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.
“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.
“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”
any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.
your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.
the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.
“i heard you, on the jet.”
you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point. 
he heard you?
“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.
the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?
the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.
“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”
his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.
“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.
your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”
the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.
“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”
your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.
“no.”
spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”
“no.” you say again, softer this time.
“should we change that?”
this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.
so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.
he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.
“yes.”
that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.
you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.
he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.
detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“
“please don’t stop.”
he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.
the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.
“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”
spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.
“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.
you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.
“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.
his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”
“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.
he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.
“oh fuck,” you cry.
“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.
you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.
“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”
“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.
the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.
he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.
the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.
his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.
he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.
spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.
“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.
“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.
you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.
he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured. 
it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.
your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.
your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere. 
spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.
you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.
“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”
“but…” you pathetically respond.
“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”
the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.
“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”
you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.
holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.
his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”
you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.
his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.
you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.
if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.
once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.
you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.
the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.
but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.
“spence…harder.”
he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.
“whatever you say, princess.”
and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.
“fuck,” you whine.
“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”
your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.
“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”
you whimper, “spencer,”
“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”
he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.
“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”
spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.
in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.
the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”
still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”
he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”
you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”
“me?” he says incredulously.
you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”
he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”
you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”
“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”
“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”
“just tell him i have a gun.”
“so does he?”
“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.
you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”
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keeps-ache · 1 year ago
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it's one at night, my feet hurt from sliding around on the carpet trying to learn the charleston
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