#how ? i don't know !!! by being my dramatic weirdo self

[angeltism]

why am i just feeling . Bad .

[appleblueberry-pie]

I just read your fic and my brain went into thinking mode again :(

Reader just being wholesome with children. Like using Mayday as a therapy method for self-trust issues.. Def babysits May to trust herself with touching other people 😭❤

IT'S 3 AM HELP ME.

What Isn't There To Love About You?

im just writing these for pure amusement now. HATE being formal with my own writing and realized i can literally have fun.

"So, this was where he was last night." Miguel pulls up footage from last nights fail at capturing some random universe's villain. It wasn't that doing investigation work was boring or anything. It's just that it's been four hours trying to get to the bottom of this disappearance into some other universe. And then trying to find the probability of capturing this villain and the whole shazam. You don't know how Miguel did it. Maybe it was the 6 coffees he had in one day or the random sass and anger fueling him to keep running, but you weren't made out of whatever he was made out of.

You kept your stone face as you watched the footage and leaned forward to point out his glitches here and other possible universes that had a strange pop-up weirdo at around the same time frame. "...because right here..." You zoomed in and before you could further explain, a childish squeal broke you out of your trance. You and Miguel look up and see the beautiful baby girl that was Mayday hanging off of her few webs from above.

You dramatically gasped and called out to her. "Now, who left you here hanging unattended?? Who would do such a thing??" You playfully placed your hands on your hips and she babbled back at you, lighting up your clouded mind. Miguel rolls his eyes. "Actually, she's been there for about 30 minutes." He grumbles. You turn around to glare at him. "You let her stay up there for that long?" "She's a distraction."

You scoff and hold your arms out to her. She wastes no time in dropping down to you, letting you squeeze her like the teddy bear she was. "There's my favorite girl! How've you been?? Aww, look at your hair, you messed it up again. Where's that brush I had, Miguel??" You held her on one hip, bouncing her as you dig through the drawers to find the comb that was no longer in the room. "......." Miguel tries to slyly steal glances at you as you handle Mayday like she was your own child.

Your loud and bubbly talking to her eventually calm down to you holding her to your chest as you calmly talk to her. "I wonder how you'll be when you start school. You're already so smart, swinging around the place like it's nothing." You laugh to yourself and instead comb your fingers through her hair. It was honestly such a breath of fresh air compared to staring at screens at hours on end. You stop leaning on the desk and hum quietly to her, looking back over to the monitors, only to find Miguel staring down at you over his shoulder.

".....What?" He sighs and turns back around, typing again. "......it's her nap time." You raise your eyebrows and look down to actually see the girl falling asleep in your arms. You wonder why Peter left her unattended like this. Speaking of the devil, the man comes swinging onto the platform before you can go down and sees his daughter asleep. "Oh my god, Y/n, you are a lifesaver. I was looking for her everywhere. And you are a magician to get her asleep on time. She usually makes a fuss...." He goes on to talk for the next few minutes, not before shifting her into his arms to take her back to his universe.

This time, you couldn't really pay attention to his long speech, instead staring longingly at the girl asleep in his arms. When he leaves, Miguel is already leaning back on his work table, staring longingly at you. ".....I've always wanted a little girl." Miguel smiles at you and walks up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face into your neck. "Yeah? Serías una madre increíble." (You would be an amazing mother)

You smile at his words. "Me vuelves loco con lo talentoso que eres. Y verte así con ella me enloqueció. Déjame tenerte." He almost seemed to growl the words, making your stomach flutter with butterflies. He holds you tighter and trails his hands to where your zipper began. "Here?" Miguel groans at the fact that he's still at work and stops himself from unzipping you. He removes himself from you entirely to angrily type up another report and you instead stand behind him and rub his back. "That's okay, you can just show me how you feel when you get home." A growl erupts at his throat and you laugh. (You drive me crazy with how talented you are. And seeing you with her like that drove me wild. Let me have you.)

Miguel looks over his shoulder and down at you to glare into your mischievous eyes. "Watch that mouth." "I'm serious." Miguel doesn't like hiding from you. Seeing him stare down at you like you were a piece of meat made you look away and he curses under his breath. He hated how restricted he was to just sit with his cock hard until he had the option to leave. And how it seemed like you were free to torture him with your bratty attitude and beautiful face and body. He hates this and loves you. The only angel he'll let fall into his arms down from what he calls heaven.

[omghallucinations]

San Chart Analysis: in the weeds edition

lunar nodes, degrees, fixed stars, final dispositors, basically all kind of deeper cuts.

i think when you only look at the planet in its sign it can really be misleading--it's like a cookbook. sugar in one dish will be completely different than sugar in something else. sure some people might have the energy of a sign expressed typically, but depending on placement, degree, interaction with other planets, that can manifest insanely differently. so that's why i'm not that interested in just planet/sign analysis!

just gotta start off with the topical. people usually get virgo risings wrong imo--this doesn't add to his rigidity at all, although it does usually make him a little bit like anxious and self-critical. any mercury ruled rising (gemini or virgo, both mutable signs) makes you twisty-turny with a lot of interesting and weird thoughts. some of the weirdest people i know are virgo rising (huge compliment).

virgo rising is a weirdo freak placement and people need to know the truth!!!!!

lunar nodes--his south node is in aquarius the fifth house, north node in leo in the 11th. interestingly, this is the same placement as wooyoung (definitely same signs, most likely the same houses too).

your south node is your foundational stuff, often past life assumptions, basically it's the soup from whence you came. you are comfortable here but it's not good for you to stay there. some charts don't even label this which is crazy but it's just opposite the north node. if it is labelled it looks like this: ☋

your goal/life path is your north node--you gotta grow this way to learn your soul's lessons. this one is what looks like an umbrella: ☊

VERY IMPORTANT: the lunar nodes are the arc of the moon. you cannot have one without the other. both of them are important and both of them can hold past life assumptions and both of them could teach you soul lessons. each node just leans one direction more than the other most of the time.

fifth house south node is a childlike person, highly romantic, kind of a pure person who desperately wants to be loved but constantly wants to sort of martyr themselves for no damn reason. they need to be less romantic and more objective, to think about the group and more universal concepts, basically to detach a bit and stop being so dramatic.

the aquarius-leo 5th-11th partnership is the same energy but inverted, which is really interesting. the 5th house is the "leo" house and the 11th house is the "aquarius" house, but the way leo expresses itself and the 5th house does is a little different. so it's almost like leo-aquarius versus aquarius-leo. whenever an energy in emphasized like this it's going to be extra essential to a person's life and personality.

the 11th house north node says it's time to think less about yourself and more about the community, and develop more of a personal philosophy. the leo north node is about the will and learning to be strong in yourself and celebrate/express yourself.

the 5th house south node says that his comfort zone is in childlike creativity, self-expression, romance, but also sort of too self-focused, it's all about me (and not just good things are my fault, everything bad is also my fault). the aquarius south node shows a desperate social need, but also feeling really lonely and isolated at times.

like an aquarius, this person will be individualistic and iconoclastic, to the point of rubbing people the wrong way sometimes. they're deeply fair and interested in change, possibilities. but there's that air sign flightiness--a detachment from the world, extremely future focused--always looking ahead. they want to stand tall and not be ridiculed for their beliefs--but they always kind of feel worried that they will be ridiculed for being themselves, so they're preemptively defensive.

i can see how san and wooyoung may have recognized this similar past life/foundational self quality in each other--romantic, idealistic, different and trying so hard to be confident about being different, sort of playing confident and almost aggressive about their individuality despite their intense vulnerability about it, desperately wanting to be loved and so easily feeling lonely or misunderstood.

chart energy can be channelled through the north node in the 11th house--community, societal change, thinking of life from an "us" perspective. the nodes are never about leaving the south node totally, but rather balancing the heavier south node with the north node, so the south node is still important. san still has the past life need for originality and freedom in the fifth house--creativity, passion, joy, love, children.

hilariously, his lunar nodes are basically saying "don't show off too much or always try to be the center of attention, beware of getting too much recognition and admiration, also you need to be the center of attention and express your creativity and receive recognition and admiration." a fine line!

the crux is the balance between belonging to a group and expressing his own identity, of having a healthy ego without a... too healthy ego. if he's not careful, san can truly think he is the center of the world--again, all about me in many ways, including EVERYTHING that has EVER GONE WRONG is because of ME and it's MY FAULT!!!! because of my INHERENT BADNESS!! he has to learn to forgive himself and understand that the world is big, and he's just one person.

his astrology is so weird and interesting. he's a complex person with a lot of contrasting energies. he's simultaneously

staid and traditional and stalwartly inflexibly moral

a loose cannon who wants all of the attention

very emotional and almost childlike in a way

constantly doing a bit of a subconscious power struggle with everyone around him despite feeling like he is actually the vulnerable player, even if he actually isn't

uranus conjunct his south node/opposite north node--he already felt different as a child, probably experienced a changing childhood environment in some way. can be rebellious for no particular reason and feel trapped, which people don't always understand. san's "comfort zone" or past life foundational beliefs about himself and the world are changeable, with bursts of energy, creative, different, iconoclastic. people don't understand his motivations a lot of the time (thinking about hongjoong not understanding san's motives lmao).

saturn forms an exact square to his nodes, so it's the base of a t-square--the theory here is usually that the discomfort between the two sides was so strong that it forced him to make a fresh start through the point of the t-square, saturn in the 9th house of independent thought and ideas. saturn is the big player in this negotiation: it can lead him out of old thinking or keep him there. he has high standards, ambitions, a huge work ethic but also a sense of constraint or restriction which keeps him from freely changing and growing. it's like being anchored in tradition, kind of, but in the 9th house of personal philosophy or belief san really genuinely believes all of it, which makes the social conditioning harder to shake. it gives him a rigidity, especially with saturn square uranus. he probably adheres to traditional societal ideals too much, even subconsciously, despite being a rebellious person in many ways--and this holds him back a lot.

another big player is mars, who is at home in scorpio (traditional rulership). this is his final dispositor--basically his chart "big boss". his other big boss is uranus, at home in aquarius for modern rulership--i usually tend to place this a bit below traditional rulership but i think it's still influential. his chart ruler is still mercury, but everything sort of acts through mars. he's mars dominant (traditional astrology) also, with majority fire and fixed placements, which gives him a taurus flavor or vibe.

venus is 1 degree conjunct to regulus, one of the 4 royal fixed stars--regulus is "heart of the lion", and usually indicates fame, success, glory, but also possible or probable big falls. big ego takes a tumble is a cycle he will see in his life a bunch of times, probably.

one point about his sun--people see cancer and think ah, water sign, maternal, emotional, and yeah, sure, in a way, but crabs have claws and a hard shell. cancers are not wishy-washy, at all. they're a cardinal sign--a starter sign, an act first sign. he's also in the second decan, which is a moon-mercury decan, adding more weight to the mercury energy. it can also be really weird-feeling to have the sun in cancer, who represents the moon. similar to having a leo moon, it's an inherently confusing dynamic.

so san's major players are, in my subjective order of influence:

1. the leo-aquarius axis. an intense amount of his life bounces between these two points--self-expression/ego and community, cool detachment and dramatic romance, loving being different and hating being different. aquarius and leo both have a lot of points/planets, and so does the 11th house and, to a lesser extent, the 5th house. this energy is very strong for him. 1. mars (in rulership, at 1 which is a mars/aries degree). san's gonna express a lot of things through action. he's a pretty intense guy, passionate, when he gets angry it's a real event and a half. never backs down. 2. uranus (in modern rulership in aquarius). i would have put uranus further down the list except it has by far the most aspects (conversations w other planets) both by number and by important type. uranus has its fingers in almost everything in san's chart! he is different than other people and can tell that he is different, he wants to break free from established societal conditioning (although finds this difficult due to saturn's influence) and feels almost detached at times. tbh he has some past life stuff weighing him down that expresses unconsciously a lot of the time--you know when you have a strong as fuck reaction to something minor for no obvious reason? like that. 3. mercury (rules ascendant). he's chatty, curious, changeable, interested in the world. mercury is in leo so this is expressed in a fun, bright, creative way. with his virgo ascendant, his curiosity and interest is often pretty, like. picky. discerning. yes to this no to this. detail-oriented. pretty judgmental, god i bet he's awesome to gossip with. "hey can i be a bitch for a second" like hell yes bro. still it's not even personal like he'll say something bitchy, truly not mean it in a mean way, and somehow maintain a kind of pure heart? weird!! fascinating!!

4. pluto (conjunct IC w 5 degree orb) -- IC is the hidden self, the at-home deep foundational self, it's qualities you don't show to other people often but are deeply felt. the IC may or may not be very important, but if a planet is conjunct the IC it becomes pretty foundational, even if you aren't fully aware of it. pluto (transformation, intensity, power and power struggles) is essential to san's personality. he is probably very possessive, power is extremely important to him (although it is most likely subconscious) and he is certainly not afraid of diving deep or getting intense very fast. 5. moon (rules the sun, at highest point on his chart) -- people see san's moon--it's only 8 degrees away from his MC (public self in gemini, he is known for duality, etc) and it rules his sun in cancer. people notice his vulnerability, compassion, deep feelings, the complicated ups and downs that he truly cannot keep off of his face. it's also in gemini, so changeability is king. even though it's the most visible, though, it is not the most influential. people notice and see his moon or emotions/personality/self but most of the time they do not notice his pluto (intensity, power struggles) which is actually more influential. 6. sun --i tend to think that a planet who is kind of uncomfortable adds influence just like a planet that is comfortable. san's deeply felt emotions, shell and snap snap claws are also a bigger player. he also has a hefty amount of leo energy, which makes the sun more important.

he really is a fairly complex person. he's gonna have to negotiate with a lot of conflicting energy throughout his life, and his gemini qualities mean that he'll often bounce between extremes. it's cool to see how important self-expression, creativity, individuality, etc, are to him--very fitting for a performer. so interesting how his performance quality really shows a lot of his actual personality/"soul journey" if u excuse the cheesy phrasing--truly can't think of another way to explain the vibe.

[goodluckclove]

I'm having a lot of fun talking with people about why they struggle in their writing, and I figure I'd share a little bit about what would keep me from writing. It's especially relevant given how soon Blind Trust is coming out - and, like I said, if you're willing to be real to me I'll be real right back.

I'll put it under a read more, as I've had the amount of alcohol that it takes me to be extra loose - meaning half of one canned cocktail. And I don't want to freak anyone out who doesn't want to see me feel a little more angsty than I tend to be online. But as I said before, I want to be honest about the craft as much as I urge others to be.

Here we goooo. Say goodbye to proper capitalization babies, Dad's getting funky.

so i started writing when i was twelve years old. i wrote carnation, a 10k word zombie novella about thinly-veiled representations of me and my two best friends at the time fighting zombies. it wasn't very good. i never wrote anything before. i enjoyed it though, so i proceeded to keep writing, near-constantly for the next fifteen years.

here's the thing, though, and it's something i don't see a lot of elder writers talk about. probably because it's not a super pleasant thing to hear, but i'm pretty sure i could pull it off.

uh, my name is clove gardener. i'm twenty-seven years old now. and i do not think i'm that good of a writer.

i don't think i'm bad. i mean, i've been published. i've worked as a copywriter and a ghostwriter. i've written for work for a few years now, so - like - objectively it must be passable. i don't hate my writing. i think it's accessible, which is cool. but if you were to ask me hey do you think you're a good writer? i would skirt around the question without answering directly until i could figure out a way to change the subject.

at this point i don't think that's going to go away. the improvement, though, has been that i barely think about that anymore. it's like there's a little dipshit in the back of my head, and occasionally he will hiss-whisper this is shit what are you doing until I find a way to shut him up.

i kind of feel like that's just the thing that happens when you're a writer. it's the camp i'd rather be in, at least. because the alternative is that i'm a really good writer who might consider themselves capable to claim authority and tell you how to do things i actually know nothing about. i'd rather have doubt. maybe less than what i have now, but still.

writers, i think, overlap with theater kids in the sense of being dramatic little piss babies. i am proud to say that i am significantly less of a piss baby than i potentially could be, especially considering that i'm in writing and theater. but you're bound to be a little dramatic at some point.

i think in the six-ish months since i've started blind trust, i've had maybe two creative existential crises. that's pretty good. that's reasonable. and they were not too unproductive either. i've learned that you can feel whiny and pitying and scared and self-loathing, and still do the thing.

i don't think you should publish your book. cool, ryan (i named my inner dipshit ryan). i'm doing it anyway.

nobody actually wants to pay money for it. yeah, ryan. maybe.

you're a terrible writer. i like it, though. i want to see how it ends. so let's keep going.

if you're wanting to publish/self-publish, and you think you don't have a chance because you aren't a beacon of self-assurance and confidence - guess what, buddy, i don't think many of the greats were. it's almost a stereotype i've seen of famous writers also being angsty weirdos who crumble into despair because the apple they ate was slightly too mealy (this is based on nothing but i can see it happening to kafka). if you think you can't be a writer because you aren't like me - friend, colleague, son, daughter, child, we are both angsty weirdos and that's okay.

last week i sobbed because riley showed me a video where a kiwi bird was sad and we had to spend the rest of the night watching videos of kiwi birds before donating to a kiwi bird charity. i make one phone call to the doctor and i have to lie down for the rest of the day. i am kind, i am fun, i am funny, and i am also like three bad dice rolls away from a breakdown. you can be both of those things. i have nuance.

i'm fine, by the way. it's been a good day. i'm just stressed about publishing because the thought of asking people to pay Human Currency for my work makes me deeply uncomfortable. but we're going to fucking deal with that, aren't we, ryan?

i don't know if this is unprofessional to reveal, but if it convinces one person to pursue a life in writing even though they sometimes take a trip to the Panic Zone, fuck it. i'm fine, you're fine, we're all going to be fine.

we should name our inner dipshits. drop your dipshit names below. ryan is your classic little goblin, but he's dressed like an e-boy. i think he vapes. i hate him.

[apuckishwit]

“I appreciate the effort but this is all wrong.” For whoever you choose

(also I know I send a request in last time so feel free to ignore this if you have too many💜)

Bruh, I don't even KNOW where this came from. But I like it. Little bit of Steddie, but this mostly ended up being a Steve and Eleven bonding ficlet. Also, word could got away from me, sorry!

“I appreciate the effort, but this is all wrong,” Eddie sighs, flopping onto the couch beside Steve and making a gesture that seems to encompass Steve’s entire body.

Steve hides a tired smile behind his drink—some unholy cocktail Hopper’s friend Bauman cooked up that seems to be mostly straight vodka. “What do you mean?”

“This! You! We just beat Vecna, man! Won the day, saved the world! And you’re sitting here in a dark corner, brooding over your drink.” Eddie leans close, his expression shifting to something dramatic and serious. “A strange-looking, weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall,” he intones.

Ah. Steve remembers this one.

“I am not strange-looking,” he says, and then tips his cup towards Dustin, who is dramatically recounting some part of the fight to Lucas and a bored-looking Erica, as though they were not right there with him. “I am, however, listening intently to the hobbit talk.”

Eddie reels back, a shocked, delighted smile lighting his face. “Stevie! Stevie! Did you, Steven Timothy Harrington the third, king of Hawkins High, dreamiest of the all-American dreamboats…just quote Lord of the Rings at me?” Eddie’s got a bruise on his temple, blood and dirt crusted in the creases of his skin because he hasn’t had a proper shower yet. Steve wants to kiss him, wants to bury his hands in the wild mass of Eddie’s curls, wants to curl into the warmth of his body and never leave.

“My middle name’s not Timothy you weirdo, and I’m not even a junior, let alone a third.” He dares a nudge of his knee into Eddie’s and leaves it there, their legs touching from knee to mid-thigh. He watches dark eyes dart down to where their bodies are touching and holds his breath, only letting it out when Eddie lets his weight shift a little closer so that their shoulders are brushing as well.

Not the closest they’ve ever been on this night, at this party—and it is a party this time, a celebration, he loves it when they are celebrating and not clinging to each other in broken, sobbing huddles, too many empty spaces in between their reaching arms—but close. Close enough that he can feel the other man’s heat through the layers of their clothes, feel the solid weight of him. Eddie is hardly ever a casualty anymore, but nothing is foolproof and he never takes Eddie’s presence at his side when they get here for granted.

He lets himself sink against the couch in his living room, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. Eddie’s eyes will follow the motion, he knows, those quick, clever eyes flicking over the line of his throat before landing on his lips and darting away again. There’s something between them, now. Something curious and fragile, but crackling with electricity. Heat. Possibility. He wonders, when he’s feeling particularly self-destructive, how far they could run with that possibility, if they ever get the chance. He’s kissed Eddie. More times than he can count anymore. Hell, he’s slept with him—quick and desperate fucks in hidden corners, longer, slower explorations when they manage to buy more time than usual. He knows Eddie’s body in a way that should feel wrong, he thinks, because Eddie never, ever remembers.

Steve’s past pretending he’s not desperately, stupidly in love with him.

His chest aches at the thought—pain that has become so familiar he barely notices it anymore. He opens his eyes, the ache turning a little sweeter when he catches Eddie’s gaze darting away from his lips and looks out over the people crowded into his house, helping themselves to his food, his alcohol, his bathrooms and blankets and guestrooms. Everything. They’re welcome to everything, he’d give everything in this cold, cold house if they could just stay here. Now. In this moment.

They’ve all made it through this time. All of them. Max is slumped tiredly against Lucas’s side with nothing worse than a broken arm. Robin is curled up on the loveseat just across the room, fast asleep, but not pale and limp and dead. Dustin’s excited voice carries above every other conversation and Steve could listen to it forever because now he knows what it sounds like when it trails off into a wet, gurgling rattle. They’re all winding down, eyelids drooping, shoulders slumping. Nancy and Jonathan have already wandered off to the guestroom he pointed them to, Hopper and Joyce having long ago vanished into his parents’ room. The kids are gathering blankets and pillows to just create a giant nest right here on the living room floor and Steve is debating whether he wants to carry Robin up to his room or take the risk that sometimes pays off and invite Eddie to follow him to bed when he catches Eleven’s eyes across the room.

“Hey, I’m gonna go get some air,” he says, reaching down to grip Eddie’s knee. Wants it to be his hand. “I’ll be right back.”

Eddie just nods tiredly, his eyes kind of glazing over with exhaustion despite his earlier brightness. Steve stands and stretches, slipping from the room while the boys are arguing over the truly hideous (but very warm and fluffy) knitted blanket his great-grandmother made right before she died and that his mother refuses to get rid of, even though she won’t allow it to sit out anywhere it can be seen. He steps out onto the back deck, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he makes his way to the edge of the empty pool. He’s never gotten around to covering it, but he never keeps it filled when he has the choice in the matter.

He is unsurprised when he hears the door slide open behind him a few moments later. Tilts his head up to stare at the brightly gleaming moon and just lifts one arm in invitation. El burrows into his side seconds later, her thin arms winding tight around his waist as she presses her face into his chest. He doesn’t speak, holding her tightly as she just breathes. She never cries, but somehow the deep, shuddering breaths are worse.

“I’m still good to go again,” he whispers, when the shuddering breaths quiet, and he can no longer feel her shoulders trembling. He ruffles a hand through her short, bristly hair, his heart hurting at the feel of it, the way it always does. El loves her long hair. Loves what having it long represents to her. He hates to see her lose that so often.

She nods against his chest, but makes no move to let go. He bites his lip, resting his chin on top of her head. “We’re getting closer. You felt it this time, right? He almost…he almost let go of Will.”

“He did,” Eleven agrees, her voice no louder than Steve’s had been. “Almost.”

Eddie is wrong, is the thing. They haven’t beaten Vecna. Not for real. Not for good. The Upside Down isn’t gone.

It’s not over.

As a matter of fact, in just a few short hours it’s all going to start over again. All the way over again.

Steve is going to go to sleep tonight, eventually. Maybe curled around Robin, clutching his best friend’s hand and counting her breaths as he struggles to calm his own. Maybe tangled with Eddie, sweaty and sated and biting his lips bloody against all the things he wants to say, all the things he’s discovered and realized and come to know for truth as he’s come to this point over and over and over. Maybe this will be one of the times he and Eleven won’t be able to bear to go back in to the people they love knowing their happiness and relief is about to be ripped away all over again, one of the times they’ll sit and talk and try to keep each other awake for another hour, another minute, another second. It won’t matter.

When he wakes up again, it’ll be 1983. Eleven will be waiting for him in their prearranged meeting spot so he can bring her food and some warmer clothes before she leaves to find Mike and the others, so small and young again, with eyes that grow more and more haunted each time he looks into them. Will Byers will be missing. Max will be somewhere in California. Eddie will hate him, if he thinks of him at all. His kids won’t know him.

And he will be standing right back at the beginning of a path he would sell his fucking soul not to have to walk again.

And again.

And again.

He’s lost count of how many times they’ve done this. Lost count of how many times they’ve lived through this hell, lost count of how fucking old they are at this point. Does a year really count against your age if it’s erased over and over again? He tries not to think about it too hard. It might drive him crazy.

Maybe it already has.

They can’t change anything, they’ve discovered through more trial and error than he cares to try and recall. Nothing more than tiny differentiations. He can’t just cancel that goddamn party and save Barb. They can’t open another gate and bring Will home themselves. They can’t bring the lab down before Nancy and Jonathan get to it. Can’t warn Hopper about the tunnels and the mayor and the fucking Russians. Can’t tell Joyce how to break the Mind Flayer’s hold over her son. Can’t stop Hargrove from becoming a puppet, can’t save his life and at least spare Max that complicated, complicated pain. Can’t avoid the Russians. Can’t keep Hopper from being kidnapped. Can’t save Chrissy Cunningham. Can’t stop Eddie from becoming involved.

Can’t, can’t, can’t.

Things…wobble…when they try. Eleven feels it more than him, understands it better than him, but when they try to change things, it felt like the time he and Tommy decided to go ice skating on the pond near Tommy’s grandpa’s house too early in the season. He’d gotten out onto the ice first, had skated away from the edge as fast as he could, but as he got further out he could feel the ice change under his skates. Had felt it grow thinner. Weaker. Start to splinter under the blades. He’s lucky he’d still been small at that point—thin and bony and small. If it had been Tommy who raced out first, he probably would have fallen through. But that’s how it feels to him—like something is weakening and thinning and breaking around him and it would be a very bad thing if it broke all the way.

Things aren’t completely the same, of course. They’ve learned to skirt that breaking, thinning, weakening—but the little bits of pain they’ve been able to spare their friends and family are tiny. Crumbs. Nothing in the face of all the things they have to let happen.

The things they have to let happen over and over and over…because they know how to close the Upside Down, now. They know what they have to do to make sure it can never hurt anyone ever again. They know what they have to do to free the people they’ve come to love like family.

They know the price they have to pay. And they know they will never, ever take that step.

It has to be purged, is the thing. Every scrap, every bit, every awful, disgusting spore has to be cleaned from their world before the opening can be closed permanently. Every bit of it.

Even the bits that have infected people they love. The bits that have infected them.

It all has to be in the Upside Down when the gate is closed for the last time. If they can’t find a way to sever the connections between them and Vecna, Will and Max have to be left behind in the Upside Down when the gate is closed for the last time.

He and El are both in agreement. That isn’t a price they’re willing to pay, unless the only other choice is to let Vecna completely loose to rampage across the world. In his heart of hearts, Steve isn’t so sure they’d even be willing to pay the price then.

Will is El’s brother in every way that matters. They might as well be twins. And Max…

Well.

Neither of them are willing to live in a world without Max Mayfield in it.

Steve doesn’t know why he and Eleven remember all the times they have come to this point before, but Will and Max don’t. He has his suspicions. Theories that he has had ample time to turn over in his mind…and he knows he’s not the smartest person in their group, but even he can solve a puzzle if you give him enough time. He thinks it has something to do with how their connections to the Upside Down formed vs. how Will’s and Max’s were forced. El didn’t mean to, didn’t know what she was doing…but she was the one who ripped into the Upside Down in the first place, kicked up the hivemind like a hornet’s nest. And he…

He thinks of the thick, rotten-tasting fluid that fills his mouth every time he bites that fucking bat to get it to let go of him. The way it always slides down his throat before he can spit it all out. He’d forced his way into a connection too, hadn’t he? Even after all this time, he can’t decide if he’s glad he accidentally took part of that fucking place into himself that first time or not.

He’s glad Eleven isn’t alone in this. Glad he can be there for the girl who’s just as much a little sister to him as Max is, now. Glad he can remember all the moments he’s had with Eddie in all these endless loops. But oh sometimes he’d give anything to have his blissful ignorance back.

He’s lucky in some sick way, he thinks. He has the choice. Will is already infected every time they start over. The thing that makes Max vulnerable to Vecna is something they cannot change. Steve, though, can choose not to take that mouthful of rotten, rotten blood. He can suck in an extra mouthful of air before the things bring him down, give himself those few extra seconds for Nancy, Robin, and Eddie to come charging to his rescue. He can release himself from the knowledge he’s living these same hellish years over and over again any time. El has begged him to, many times.

He glances down at the girl in his arms, clinging to his waist and trying to brace herself for yet another round. Knows he never will. They’re in this together, no matter what. He can’t let her carry this burden alone. He’s going to sink his teeth into that fucking bat every time, until they’re sure they’ve figured it out. Until they know how to free Will and Max. Until they can save everyone. Then he’ll let himself out of the loop. Only then.

Then maybe he’ll finally get to see what the possibility that hovers between him and Eddie will grow to be.

“What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?” he asks, like the sun is going to come up on them here. Like he’ll stumble down to the kitchen, carefully stepping over sleeping bodies to start coffee and pancakes. Like it really is over, instead of about to start again.

“Breakfast burrito,” El says, and they both ignore how tired she sounds. How defeated.

There has to be a way to save them all…there has to. They just have to hang on until they find it. He closes his eyes and thinks of Robin’s laugh. Dustin’s loud voice. Eddie’s pretty, pretty eyes. One more time. He can do it one more time. They’re close. They have to be.

“Breakfast burrito. Bacon, eggs, cheese, peppers, no onions.” He squeezes her tighter, and her fist tightens on his shirt. “And something soft and pretty to wear.”

“Pretty,” she agrees.

“We’ve got this,” he says, and wishes harder than he has ever wished for anything in his life that he isn’t lying. “One more time.”

El takes another deep breath. Straightens, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She slips out from under his arm, but keeps hold of his hand. “One more time,” she says solemnly. He doesn’t know how many times they have made this promise to each other.

He lost count a long time ago.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Lmao you need to relax, this wasn't “hate” like you and your weirdo followers are trying to dramatize. It seems like you don't know what hate really is.

And those fics are unbearably stupid because they sound like they were written by a 15 year old.

It follows the same stupid braindead cliche of: I'm in mortal danger but I'll still have the baby even though it makes no sense and I have the maturity and intelligence of a monkey. This baby is my whole personality and I'm such a victim. The guy will obviously be the only intelligent one in the situation and will obviously be groveling pathetically at my feet because he loves me so much, blah, blah, blah.

It's the stupidity of it all. The fact that the story doesn't even make sense to go in that direction, but you're not even smart enough to actually see that. It's like those teenage fanfic "writers" who romanticize pregnancy and babies in the most absurd and cringe ways and have absolutely no brain power behind it. It's not about pregnancy or miscarriage or whatever. It's about being written in the most painfully immature way.

But then again. I've seen some of your other "writings". Stupidity should be expected and not shocking. But still, it shocks me. It seems like you're not over 15 yet, emotionally.

Same thing with your plus size reader Seresin fic. Good lord. That was painful. I couldn't even get past the first few chapters. So incredibly cringe. The dramatization, the perpetual victimization, the delusion, the cringiness, the “I’m trying so hard to feel loved that this gives so much vicarious embarrassment to anyone who is normal and without self-loathing.” Your fics also have something that is very telling, which is the absolute veneration that male interests have for female interests, even though she is always so uninteresting, plain and the world's stupidest person who absolutely deserves none of it. Always about a girl who somehow catches the eye of a guy who is clearly out of her league in every way, but he falls in love with her bc... reasons. It's all so pathetic and revealing of yourself. It's all so bad. People like you are embarrassing.

So, from what I can see, I’m definitely not the one “hurting.” Your fics scream “no one loves me, so I have to find a way to cope about it. And I'm definitely the world's biggest victim”.

It's sad more than anything. But fitting to your real life self (and of your followers), it seems.

Oh well.

How long did it take you to write this?

You're only supporting my belief that you're hurting.

[streets-in-paradise]

Friday the 13 Th - Eddie Munson x (Fem) Henderson! Reader

Warnings: Friday the 13 Th franchise references.

Summary: Eddie has convinced you of making something big to bother Jason in the most fitting day for your inside joke about him.

Notes: Happy Friday the 13 th! Let's make fun of Jason lol

The school's cafeteria was a stage where Eddie loved to play being a dreaded artist annoying the well adjusted students with his unhinged dramatizations. He was an autentical court jester despite many loathed his performances. You may have been once too shy to get involved or even engage, but the spirit of companionship of Hellfire had slowly and consistently changed that.

As two lonely weirdos doing their best to not be noticed during most of your highschool experience, you have always been in a distant bubble with Jonnathan doing your own thing unless bullies would disrupt you. There was no one else at least untill he started to date Nancy and you befriended Eddie first, later also Steve. While you remained best friends, some of that crave to hide together in a little corner going unnoticed began to change and that was way more evident in you under the influence of Eddie.

For once at least, Jonnathan acceded to get involved for a small role in a carefully crafted espectacle you were planning because he got to appreciate the concept. Fellow horror geek, he found it simple yet quite effective. At very least you both would have a funny story to share with Will and Dustin.

Staged action took it's course as you approached him limping and pretending you were crying your heart out.

" Please, please! You have to help me!! " You begged him for the entire place to hear you, your ketchup soaked hands seeking to hold his clean ones . " … He is coming, he got my friends!!! He is gonna kill us! "

Pretending confussion wasn't that hard given your performance.

" What are you talking about?"

" The councelors were making love while that young boy drowned!!" You directly referenced the speech of Pamela Vorhees in a mashup with a victim character. " … Now we are all cursed. WE DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED!!!! "

When your agonical, prophetic scream gave him the sign Eddie emerged rushing like a maniac into the scene.

" FRIDAY THE 13 TH!!! IT'S FRIDAY THE 13 TH, PEOPLE!!" He began to scream to anyone in his way. " RUN FOR YOUR LIVES CAUSE JASON IS GONNA COME TO GET YOU!"

The joke was perfectly timed with the entrance of Jason Carver. Annoyance was the less concerning feeling it awakened on the target. When you once started it he could have never imagined it was going to stick with the full weirdo group and even escalate.

" Are you looking for trouble, freak?"

Enacting a reaction fitting for a horror movie, you got in between them shielding Eddie with your body.

" No, Eds! Don't sacrifice yourself for me!! "

Eddie turned dramatically to play pretend a heartfelt objection.

" I must do it. You are the final girl and i am just the disastrous but charming male lead following you into the woods just because i'm in love with you. " He followed your performance with a self awareness touch. " Go, my beloved. Save that stoner and remember me. "

You held his hands as if his life trully depended of listening to you.

" I won't let you go! I know how to defeat Jason, you just have to trust me. "

The basketball player was frankly weirded. Still angry, but his lack of contextual orientation to whatever you were thinking to be doing temporally overcame his desire to punch Eddie in the face.

He was accidentally incarnating one of the lapsus of confussion Jason Vorhees could sometimes had in the films before resuming the chase for his victims.

Perfect moment for you to iniciate the end of the third act taking off your jacket to reveal a striped sweater in matching colors with the Tigers.

" Look at me Jason!! Look! Come over here … " You began to call him in the sweetest tone. " Do you recognize this? You are in home, honey.. It's gonna be ok, I'll take care of you!"

Your friends were laughing uncontrolably and you realized that even a guy in the jock's table was holding his chuckles. Probably only just for the excessive female nudity of the franchise, but he must have watched the film your joke was referencing. Not missing the chance to expose it, you smiled at him and his amusement turned inmediately into disgust.

" Friday the 13 Th Part 2, just in case you want to rent it for the weekend. " You explained to Jason after abandoning the character. " My interpretation didn't stick completely to the source material, but I found this sweater in a thrift store and inmediately thought of you. Eddie insisted we had to save it for the next Friday the 13 Th. "

" Meaning that you got that cheap sweater in my team's colours and prepared a scene arround it just to annoy me. " Jason summarized out loud, clearly fed up with all the freaks. " At least i can say you took too many bothers to get my attention in this oddly specifical charade. "

" Bullshit! He is pissed off, only tries to hide it because he lost. " Eddie quickly corrected. " We made it, sweetheart!!"

You both hi fived each other and rushed in the opposite direction, but hubris made Eddie deliver one last comeback on the way.

" Happy Friday 13 Th, Carver !!!! Don't get in the lake!!! "

Despite he did enjoy the thrill, Jonnathan was giving you judgamental looks as you reached him.

" … If i get targeted again for this."

Eddie patted him on the shoulder cheerfully before reassuring him.

" Chill, man! His feud is against us, you are totally safe. "

" That was freaking awesome! " You followed the cheers. " Don't lie to me, I saw it in your eyes. You are as excited as me. "

You had a point and he couldn't deny it.

" Fine, it was quite fun … Not as satisfying as punching Steve, but still. "

Eddie clearly supported the posibility of finding someone to complain about Harrington with that you couldn't object to. Besides, he was a big fan of the referenced episode.

" I heard all about it, the freak that kicked his bully's ass and stole his girlfriend … I just want you to know that Hellfire considers you a hero. You will always be welcome among us. "

His most inmediate answer was an awkward smile.

" Thanks. I really appreciate it, but i would like to keep my girlfriend. "

They chuckled and Eddie's was the loudest.

" Good call, man! Good call. "

Something in the specifical way Eddie choose to congratulate Jonnathan made you feel uneased. Probably because you were just jealous imagining he could want to steal his bully's girlfriend too if he had the same chance.

" Eds, if we were in a horror movie. Do you really think we would be the romantically coded final girl and last kill boy sacrificing himself so she could make it to the final fight?" You asked him as you were walking thowards the Hellfire table. " I mean, I won't do well as a final girl. To be one you need more than just be the virgin ... "

The joke may have been themed as a different thing, but you were masquerading your will to figure out if that was the case.

" ... And most times they aren't unwanted freaks, they are normal cute girls just too shy to approach their crush or too nervous to let their boyfriends convince them of sleeping together. "

He wasn't sure of where the point was going, but didn't mind to indulge you.

" Realistically, I would be the guy who dies alone getting high in the woods. " He mocked himself. " but i do think you could be a final girl. Although a rare breed we don't often get blessed with, freak girls tend to be passionate horror fans. You know all the rules to survive, my prediction is that you would make it and at the end of the film Harrington would be asking you out. "

The answer deviated from the path you expected.

" I thought you would accuse Steve of being the asshole jock dying in the sex scene. "

" As a judge I'm cruel, but fair. That has to be Hargrove, Harrington has higher chances of making it if he sticks with you. "

That made you laugh for reasons he could never possibly understand. In real life, Steve was the resourcefull fighter.

" Would you believe me if I tell you that Steve is a final girl ? "

He was laughing harder then, untill your softly delivered conclussion stopped it.

" I would like to make it with you too … It would be a refreshing change for the slasher formula. "

Eddie wasn't sure of it, but for an instant he choose to treat himself imagining you said you wanted to be with him in a very freakish way.

" There is no way i could make it. Ríght now i can tell you I would die for you. "

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 18: Live and Dangerous Part 2

"Ooo! Frankini is about to start a livestream!" Piper Hart squealed as she stood in her living room with Charlotte and Jasper. The teen girl was still on babysitting duty, whilst Jasper had just turned up out of the blue because without Henry or Junk-N-Stuff being open, things were pretty boring. 

All three of them were completely oblivious to the dire situation currently being forced upon Henry, Ray and (y/n), they were just excited to see that Frankini was about to make his big announcement. The world was waiting for the start, unaware of how Swellview's crimefighters were under that lycra-wearing weirdo's control, hours away from total disaster. 

"Interesting." Charlotte nodded, wondering why the celeb was starting one now at such short notice. He'd barely advertised it, which was unusual because he loved to draw it out and tease the hell out of his viewers.

"Yeah, wonder if Frankini is gonna have any special guests on the livestream," Jasper suggested, raising his eyebrows at Charlotte, who just shushed him with a smirk stretched across her face. They couldn't let Piper pick up on what they secretly knew, but they had to admit, it was fun to be in the know.

"Well, we're about to find out...You guys! Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger are with Frankini!" Piper squealed as the web page finally loaded, revealing that the guy was standing with Ray, Henry and (y/n) smiling brightly at the camera. On the inside, the three superheroes were dying, but outwardly, all but their eyes appeared normal. 

"Wow..." Jasper "gasped", pretending that he was just as shocked as she was, although on the inside he was smirking from how he'd known about the special appearance for a few days.

"Okay, welcome to a surprise livestream with my insanely special guests, Captain Man, Kid Danger and the lovely, Miss Danger!" Frankini grinned into the camera whilst Goomer raised two sliders on the control panel, causing the three heroes to shakily raise their hands and wave at the viewers. The viewer count was rocketing as the word spread about Ray, Henry and (y/n) being online, meaning it was only a matter of time before they reached ten million and Frankini carried out his terrible plan.

"Uh, what are Kid Danger, Captain Man, and Miss Danger wearing?" Charlotte asked the two sitting with her. She had no idea why they had agreed to put on such garish pants, especially (y/n) since she was usually so shy, but she assumed that Frankini must have really charmed them or something.

"I don't know." Piper shook her head and continued to focus on the livestream, watching as the viewer count went past one and a half million people and Frankini carried on doing what he did best.

"Now, to entertain you, my friend, Captain Man has asked if he, his girlfriend and Kid Danger can perform a scene from their favourite movie, A Swim To Forget." Frankini breathed out the movie dramatically, moving his arms around like he was actually swimming and it was clear that it was really his favourite movie. He stormed over the control panel and shoved Goomer away, swiping through the menu swiftly so the superheroes would bring the hands down in front of their faces. This guy took acting very seriously. 

"Wait! What is happening?!" Piper exclaimed, wondering what the hell she had just witnessed. She was a Captain man expert, she knew all the facts and all the trivia and was certain that he and his sidekicks would never agree to do something so strange and random for everyone to see. Her hero wasn't one for self-humiliation and she had learnt of how he'd do anything to keep Miss Danger safe too, both from bad guys and negative publicity.

"Why would they be doing a scene from that movie?" Charlotte asked, more to Jasper than Piper. The teens knew that (y/n) wasn't the biggest fan of A Swim To Forget, preferring one of her cheesy romcoms to a tragedy with a crap ending. They were also sure that Ray and Henry would never agree to do something like this, not on camera anyway and that inside knowledge made a bad feeling sit in their chests.

"And now, a scene from A Swim To Forget." An announcer said over the livestream as a title rolled, introducing the movie part professionally. Ray dramatically fell to the floor as if he was dying, pawing at the ground as Henry knelt in front of him and began to mourn whichever character his boss was playing. (y/n) too was pretending to be upset, throwing her hand to her forehead and painting an expression of heartache across her face. Well, this was humiliating.

"No! Tiffany, no! Come here! No! Come on!" Henry sobbed, pulling Ray onto the couch like he was fishing him out of the sea and the large man plonked his legs into the boy's lap as (y/n) immediately began to tap at his face, pretending to revive him. Tiffany was a goner. 

"I'm so...cold. Hold me, Eudora, you're my favourite sister." Ray spoke in a soft, country drawl, making (y/n) wrap her arms around his shoulders since she was "Eudora" apparently. This was a weird movie, but from the pure enrapture on Frankini's face, he was loving it.

"Oh, dear sister, why did you go swimming?" She whimpered back, leaning over the back of the couch as Henry cradled his boss, a sight that was extremely odd to the people watching back home, not just Piper, Charlotte and Jasper, the whole two million idiots who'd clicked on the video.

"You know you can't swim." Henry reminded "Tiffany", tearing up as Ray's body shook and (y/n) wiped his brow, acting like she was wiping a hot flannel across it. Next, Ray blinked furiously and began to madly feel for Henry's face since his character had gone blind in the water. Go figure.

"Lance?! Lance?! Are you there? And my sister, where is Eudora?" He asked in his southern accent, causing Henry and (y/n) to clutch onto his hand strongly and caress his cheek as if he was a dying family member. It was weird to see (y/n) do that, not for her since y'know, they were dating and stuff, but seeing Henry behave like that was downright disturbing and rather...suspicious.

"We're here, we're here." (y/n) soothed, smiling gently. She disregard the fat tears that fell from her eyes and fell onto Ray's cheeks and Frankini didn't bother to change the settings because he loved the drama behind it. Well, that and the water hid the fear and anger hiding beneath those (y/c/e) orbs.

"I feel myself slipping away..." Ray squeaked in a high tone, his wrist limply bridging over his forehead before flopping down to his side and for whatever reason, Lance wasn't too happy to hear her speak in such a defeatist manner. 

"No! No, don't, nooo!" Henry bawled, cupping Ray's cheek as he began to grieve for the character. Under Frankini's control, the three made for outstanding actors, but truth be told, there were three kids sat at home watching who couldn't be fooled, even as (y/n) laid it on thick.

"Oh, Lord have mercy, please! Let her live, dear God! It's not her fault she swum!" She sniffed, pressing her forehead to Ray's momentarily before Frankini decided that he didn't quite like the sight of the girl getting so close to her real boyfriend. She had to join his side and bring endless amounts of her fabulosity to his online presence; if he couldn't have her, then Captain Man definitely couldn't. He didn't deserve her.

"I just wanted to give you both a swim to remember." Ray crooned, smushing his fingers against Henry's lips because that's what the girl in the movie did, although she had a lot more grace than him.

"Instead, you've given us...a swim to forget." Henry was honoured with saying the famous line before the three began to cry like babies, the pants illuminating briefly as four million people joined to see what the hell was going on. They were all laughing and recording and being horrible, just what the mad celebrity needed to fuel his livestream, which was quickly going viral.

"Why are they doing that?" Jasper questioned as he, Piper and Charlotte watched his two bosses and his best friend make complete fools of themselves over some dumb, crappy movie. Their acting wasn't even that good and he could've sworn that parties don't normally include amateur theatre productions. Something was going on here and they didn't like it, not one bit.

~

"That's right! We already have six and a half million people watching right now. And when we get to ten million, guys, tell 'em what's gonna happen." Frankini smirked as he resumed the normal part of the livestream, standing behind the gold couch whilst the heroes sat on it awkwardly. He dashed off-camera so they could reveal his sneaky plan and resumed his position at the control panel, giggling at how well everything was going.

"We will take off our masks," Henry stated, causing Charlotte to gasp in horror as she heard the announcement. Okay, there was definitely something going on here, her friend would never do such a thing, not even for fame and glory. It was Ray's number one rule, not just for his livelihood, but for safety and secrecy. 

"And reveal our identities." Ray carried on, but one thing was amiss. His usually chirpy and lively voice was uncharacteristically flat, dull, so boringly unlike him that it stood out and spoke volumes.

"To the world!" (y/n) finished, the energy flowing through her making her arms widen as if it was a good thing. It wasn't good though, that's the thing, it was fucking ludicrous that they were even thinking about this and the news was quickly spreading, luring more and more people into Frankini's web.

"WHAT?!" Piper, Charlotte and Jasper screamed as they heard what they said and each kid had to take a moment to check if they heard them correctly. This had to be a wind-up or a prank, maybe some unfunny joke, it just couldn't be real

"Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid danger would never take off their masks!" Piper exclaimed, looking at Charlotte and Jasper. Frenemies be damned, she could put all that aside for now and focus on the problem at hand, she needed the teens to help her work this out.

"I know!" Charlotte agreed, thinking that her boss must've been tricked or entranced because he would never risk his sidekick's safety like that, not when one of them was a boy and the other was his precious girlfriend, no way. 

"What's happening?" Jasper asked Charlotte, knowing that she was normally good in a crisis and since she had worked for Ray a lot longer than he had, maybe she knew some about special protocol or training to help them.

"I don't know but, uh...just give me a sec!" She answered by grabbing the boy's wrist and dragging him away from Piper, leading him to the door instead. It was weird to just walk away in Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger's hour of need, but she really needed to discuss the shit with Jasper alone, as members of the Man Cave team, not as two normal kids. 

"Wait! Where are you going?" Piper asked incredulously, wondering why they were leaving when Swellview's crime fighters were on the verge of being dragged into disaster. Cowards, they could at least stay and help a bit.

"We'll be right back!" Charlotte promised her and chucked the curly-haired boy through the door, making him trip over his feet as she hurried to shut it behind her. At least they could get down to the nitty-gritty now.

"Why would Henry, (y/n) and Ray do something like—" He began, trying to communicate his complete disbelief, but Charlotte already had some answers and they had no time to waste. Frankini was getting close to seven million viewers.

"Just let me talk." The girl said simply, wanting to explain her theory without any interruptions, but Jasper being Jasper...

"But, if they take off their masks then everyone will know—" ~He butted in, stating the blindingly obvious, which really pissed Charlotte off. Again, they didn't have time for this.

"Just let me talk, okay?" She insisted, even though Jasper still wasn't taking her seriously. Why couldn't he say something real quick? "Yeah, but—"

"Don't talk. Just listen to me!" She snapped, giving her friend a stern glare that sent him into silence, the one thing she desperately desired. 

"Okay, you stay here with Piper. I'm going to go to the Man Cave, find Schwoz and try to figure out what's going on with Ray, (y/n) and Henry, okay?... Okay? Jasper!" She explained the plan, waiting for the boy to say something that would show his understanding, but he was too afraid to talk. Once bitten, twice shy and all that.

"You told me not to talk!" He reminded her, making Charlotte lunge to strangle him before she decided against it. She'd kill him later, for now, she had to get to the Man Cave and see if its resident genius could figure something out. Jasper could handle Piper alone, after all, she was already forming a plan to help out Captain Man and it would involve beating Frankini at his own game.

~In the Man Cave~

Schwoz had watched everything. He'd seen the livestream, the announcement, the weird movie thing, the lot and was currently sitting at the supercomputer, polishing his head. He was deeply perturbed by what he'd seen, although looking at him, you'd never know it. He was surprisingly calm to say his boss was on the brink of revealing who he was under the mask.

"Wow! Almost eight million of you are watching Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger scrub these toilets, so! Just two more million and these boys and lovely girl are going to take off their masks. Right, fellas and girl?" Frankini giggled into the camera as the superheroes behind him knelt in front of three toilets and scrubbed them hard. On the inside, each one was dying and gagging at the demeaning task, wishing that they could strangle that bastard until he went blue.

"That's right." Ray's lips moved, but his eyes looked terrified at the prospect. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain cell and a sharp eye that they weren't enjoying it.

"Fella," Henry added, looking equally pale. Goomer could mess about with the controls all he liked, they weren't fooling Charlotte. She knew something was up.

"We want to do that." (y/n)'s voice was void of emotion or intonation as the teen girl burst into the Man Cave, looking for Schwoz with urgency.

"Shhhh! Wait, wait! I'm watching!" He shushed her, too invested in what Frankini was going to do next than whatever she wanted. Sure, he was worried about Ray, (y/n) and Henry, but he couldn't lie, the livestream was entertaining.

"Oooh! I know what might be fun to see. Boys, why don't you stop scrubbing those toilets and instead, let Miss Danger brush your teeth?!" Frankini squealed and Goomer flicked a few settings so the boys gave their brushes to (y/n), who in turn lifted it to them to their lips and begrudgingly began to brush their teeth. The young woman felt so bad, so mean and wanted to cry and apologise all at once, but the more Frankini laughed, the more Goomer dragged out their misery.

"Schwoz! That's not funny! How can you sit there, polishing your head and laughing?" Charlotte scolded the cackling genius, who couldn't help but find Ray and Henry's disgusted faces hilarious. The girl hated how her friends were being subjected to such cruelty and was determined to help them.

"Well, I'm polishing my head because I like to keep it soft and shiny. And I'm laughing because Ray, (y/n) and Henry are doing comedy like Saterda Night Loove." Schwoz replied, although his thick accent made it hard to understand what the hell he was saying. Luckily though, Charlotte was an expert on his way of speaking.

"You mean Saturday Night Live?" She asked, rolling her eyes at how he was so unfeeling. This wasn't like Saturday Night comedy, that was jokey and lighthearted, Frankini was psychotic and crazy.

"You say it better." He smiled at her, not realising that the more he sat there and made pleasantries, the more likely it became that soon, the world would know that Ray Manchester is Captain Man, Henry Hart is Kid Danger and (y/n) (y/l/n) is Miss Danger.

"Ugh, move." She shoved him from the chair and sat down, scanning the livestream for anything that could give them a clue. Nine million people were worrying but panic would slow them down and she worked much better with a cool head. "Okay, something's wrong. Henry, Ray and (y/n) would never willingly go online without their superhero pants or skirt. And...look at their eyes."

"Oh, yeah. Hmmm...now, you move." After taking a moment to think about what she was saying, Schwoz realised that the girl might be onto something, judging by how livid the heroes looked. It was true, Ray was a stickler for correct uniform and (y/n) spent way too long designing hers just to forgo half of it, in fact, the whole thing seemed a bit dodgy now he thought about it.

Flinging Charlotte from her seat, he began to rewind the footage, searching for something in particular and he gasped as he zoomed in and saw a device that was highly familiar to him. "Ah, yes! Look! Look at that thingamajiggy!"

"What is that?" Charlotte asked, squinting at the weird gadget flickering beneath Goomer's control panel. It looked like something Schwoz knew all about, maybe even (y/n), but that sort of technical wizardry was beyond her.

"It's called a Domitron. It's illegal in America and everywhere that's not America." He scowled, suddenly seeing that Frankini wasn't the happy, friendly, go-lucky guy he made himself out to be. Having an illegal device wasn't exactly a good show of character.

"Well, what does a Domitron do?" Charlotte questioned, prompting Schwoz to think. Those circuits were way beyond anything she'd understand, but perhaps he could skip the math and go for a few terms she understand.

"Well, ohhh, how can I dumb this down for you? You make a person wear special clothing that's been bombarded with atomic particle waves and then the Domitron connects to the clothing and sends electronic waves into a person's body. And then, you can control their brainwaves and the muscles, and make them do or say anything you want." He explained, his voice getting more and more panicked as he explained the science. 

"Whoa." She breathed out. That sounded a lot like what was happening to their friends.

"Yeah, whoa. Basically, it turns a person into a puppet." Schwoz went on, although once again, his poor pronunciation let him down, sounding more like "puppay".

"A what?" Charlotte frowned, wondering what he was on about. Maybe it was another science thing that she didn't completely understand, or maybe it was just another weird Schwoz thing.

"Puppet? You know, p-u-p-p-e-t? Puppet?" He even spelt it out for her, and that's when it clicked. It was a weird Schwoz thing.

"Puppet. You mean, it turns someone into a puppet." Charlotte hissed. It was fine, it's not like the clock was ticking and Frankini's viewer count was rocketing skywards. They definitely had time for Schwoz's shortcomings.

"Ooh, you say it better." Charlotte ignored how he was chirpy once again and sat back down at the computer, praying she could work out a way to help her friends. If they were under Frankini's control, then it was up to them to do something.

~

"Okay, livestreamers, we are so close to ten million people watching. So now, I say, it's time for a beauty pageant question." Frankini grinned at his viewers as he draped a 'Miss Tween America' sash across (y/n)s chest. Ray and Henry were already wearing theirs and were dreading the oncoming moment when they'd be forced to remove their masks just to give the celebrity a moment of fame in the history books. "Doesn't that sound like a hoo-haa?"

"Yes, it sure does." "Yes, a hoo-haa." "Yes, amazing." Henry, Ray and (y/n) replied shakily, making Charlotte panic as she paced the Man Cave's cold tiles. Only seven hundred thousand people to go and Frankini would get his wish, leaving Captain Man's super career in tatters.

"Will you hurry up and locate his club so we can go help them?!" She snapped at Schwoz, who was struggling to pinpoint the trackers in the super suits. For some reason, the signal was fuzzy and couldn't get a fix, leaving him stuck.

"I'm trying!" Schwoz whined, tapping a load of buttons in succession of each other as the computer monitored both the signal and the livestream. Frankini was getting weird again, hoping that something outrageous would draw in the crowds he needed, plus he could never resist a beauty pageant, not when one of his contestants was so pretty.

"Captain Man, Kid Danger and...Miss Danger, recent polls have shown that a fifth of the people who live here in Swellview cannot locate their own uvulas. Why do you think that is?" Was his first question, something very odd, but Goomer made them reply some bullshit anyway.

"Well, we personally believe that Swellview Americans are unable to do so, uh, because, uh—" Ray started in a funny voice like he was some pretty, whiny, teenage model trying to outdo all her rivals on stage. Who knew he'd sound so convincingly good as a beauty pageant queen?

"—Uh, because some people, here in Swellview, don't have uvulas—" Henry continued in exactly the same tone. No one knew why Kid Danger was going on about the gross, fleshy dangly thing at the back of your throat, but hearing him was funny, so they overlooked it.

"—We believe that our education, such as—and we should help South Africa—" (y/n) carried on, smiling brightly at the camera like she was on a stage, the one place she hated to be. She wasn't a model, just a mechanic in a superhero costume.

Whilst they were bullshitting an answer, Goomer glanced up at the viewer count on a TV and his stomach clenched as he saw something dreadful. He tapped Frankini worriedly on the shoulder, but the guy was too invested in his beauty pageant to care about whatever his stupid assistant had to say; probably something about pork and beans.

"What is it, Goomer? I'm in the middle of a livestream." He snapped, wondering what was so important that he had to be taken away from his interview. But what Goomer was about to show him needed his attention because it was so gloriously disastrous, depending on who you asked.

Goomer saw how his boss wasn't going to budge by his own will, so he chose for him and just picked him up, moved him across the room and forced him to look at the monitor, where the viewer count was...dropping? Y'see, Piper Hart is a determined little girl and even though she couldn't find Frankini and beat him up like she wanted to, she could still take away his viewers. By creating the world's best zit-popping livestream (with a little help from Oliver, Jasper and Sydney), people were switching off from Frankini's video and onto hers, because everyone can't help but love gross stuff. 

"Eight point nine million viewers? But we were at nine point two million! What happened?" Frankini gasped as the heroes kept ranting about uvulas behind him, although under the control, the news that their impending doom was being staled gave them a small glimmer of hope. 

"We lost some viewers," Goomer answered dumbly, prompting Frankini to glare at him. He wasn't stupid, obviously, they lost some viewers, he just wanted to know why.

"I realise that. Why are we losing viewers?! This is the worst thing that could happen to a Frankini." He whined like a child, stomping his feet and slapping the assistant's chest as he lamented falling short just before he reached success. 

"I think the problem's a pimple," Goomer told him, referring to Piper's livestream, which was becoming extremely popular as she hyped up a huge zit that Sydney had faked on Jasper's neck. All it was was just special makeup and a load of banana pudding, but to the people at home, it was gonna be epic.

"I have a pimple? Oh my god, where? Where? Pop it, pop it!" Frankini was mistaken and squished his cheek for the blemish that he thought was grossing people out.

"No! Look it!" Goomer dragged his boss over to the PearBook where he'd pulled up another person's livestream and sure as hell, there was Piper, working the crowd like an expert.

"I don't care what else is live-streaming right now, you wanna be right here, 'cause in just a few minutes, we are gonna pop this guy's neck pimple. Yeahhhhh, this zit's about to get real." Piper smirked, knowing that it was likely that Frankini had seen how she had already stolen three hundred thousand of his viewers and by bringing on Jasper's pimple, it was quickly going upwards.

"All right. If people wanna see something gross...get the worms." Frankini ordered. He could do gross, beauty pageant be damned, he wanted his ten million recorded and if he had to bring out the big guns then he would. 'just watch him.

"Oh, come on. You're not serious." Goomer gulped, not wanting to be party to such a revolting thing. Captain Man, Kid Danger and especially not the pretty lady didn't deserve that, no one did and he couldn't believe that Frankini would stoop so low.

"Get. The. Worms!" The guy growled at his insubordination, making Goomer scurry off to follow his orders. He didn't care how gross it was, or how the superheroes would be haunted forever by this, he was going to get his way. "Sorry, little girl, but you shouldn't bring a pimple to a worm fight." 

~

Everything had been set up and Frankini was once again ready to talk to his viewers as Ray, Henry and (y/n) sat dreading his next move. They heard something about worms and knew it wasn't good, but nothing could prepare them for what he had in store for them.

"Oh, hello, what have I been doing? Oh, I've been putting worms into a food processor." Frankini smirked as he sniffed the wriggling creatures and dumped them into the blender with the rest of their friends so they could all meet their fates. The heroes had been made to sit at a cute little table like they'd gone out to eat at a classy restaurant and it set alarm bells ringing in their heads. (y/n) longed to reach for Ray's hand, hoping to give and gain some comfort from the gesture, but try as she might, her muscles were stiff and unresponsive, leaving her to curse that stupid Frankfurter.

"And now, worm dip." Frankini turned on the machine, committing the murder of hundreds of poor little worms just to get a few viewers back. He laughed as they turned into a pinkish-brown paste, which looked revolting to the people at home and freaked Ray, Henry and (y/n) out to no end. He wasn't actually going to make them eat that, right?

Taking the lid off, Frankini tipped his "delicious" dip into a bowl, making Goomer gag and gip at how thick and sludge-like it was. He could smell it from the control panel, salty and musty, but also kinda sweet? It was just an awful all-round and seeing it placed in front of them made the superheroes scream inwardly.

"There! I think it's time for Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger to have a little snack!" Frankini grinned as Henry eyed the worm paste suspiciously and tried to do something to get his dumb body moving. Surely, this was healthy, surely, earthworms carried some kind of bacteria that would lead to them puking for the next three weeks, surely, this wasn't fucking legal. "Right, boys, sweetie?"

Goomer reluctantly tapped the controls, wishing he didn't have to do this but he also didn't want to be out of a job, so Ray, (y/n) and Henry picked up a piece of toast and slowly dipped them.

"Yes." "We want to eat worm...dip." "It looks delicious, mmmm." They said, one after the other, each sounding like they were trying their hardest to say nothing, do nothing and keep their lips firmly shut. The problem was, they couldn't just take a smidge of dip, they had to take a massive scoop and really get the chunks on that toast, y'know to really enhance the flavour. 

"Yeah, dip it, yay." (y/n) groaned with a smile as Ray shoved his piece into his mouth, followed by Henry and then her and let's just say it was a taste sensation, something they wouldn't wish even on their worst enemy. The toast had turned soggy, salty, with little bits of dirt and crunchy worm guts to go with the wholemeal bread, leaving Frankini cackling as he saw the tiny signs of disgust on their faces. They couldn't even puke despite their bodies telling them that they needed an emergency stomach pump and it was even worse as they were forced to go in for a second dunk.

"All right, boys and girls, have fun watching this little appeteaser but remember. When we hit ten million viewers, Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger are going to remove their masks and reveal their true identities." Frankini giggled and fell on the floor dramatically so everyone could see their favourite superheroes enjoying their worm dip.

"Yay, worm dip!" Ray exclaimed, holding up his second piece of bread to the camera so they could see how it was truly a smooth blend, it still had a few intact worm bodies in there to make it interesting. 

"I like these worms." Henry grimaced too at how he was saying the exact opposite of what was happening and he wanted to turn his head at the thought of another load going into his mouth.

"I'm glad this is happening to me." (y/n) whimpered, her fingers wobbling as she nibbled on her second piece of toast, her brain going into overload as the bittersweet dip assaulted her tastebuds. 

"I'm doing this because I want to," Henry told the camera, another one of Frankini's tricks to make the viewers think that they had volunteered for everything, or that it was one big joke. If Kid Danger said it was okay, then it must have been, right?

"Worms!" Ray cried as he chomped more dip, chewing slowly which made the taste sit in his mouth even longer. What had he done to deserve this? What had his sidekicks done to deserve this? When he got free his was going to kick Frankini's ass for even touching his girl, never mind making her so miserable.

~In the Man cave~

"What are we gonna do? We can't let Frankini make Henry, (y/n) and Ray take off their masks!" Charlotte exclaimed as the viewer count crept towards nine point five million. The worm thing had worked, people were coming back to his livestream and there wasn't long to go, only a few more minutes until it was too late.

"I know! Grab that cream and come polish my head!" Schwoz told the girl as he typed away on his little machine. It was a weird request, but Schwoz needed every one of his super brain cells working, meaning the polish was necessary.

"What? Why?" Charlotte, however, didn't see it. Why would Schwoz need a shiny head when they could all be out of a job and possibly in danger in a bit?

"Because it helps me concentrate! Hurry!" He told her and she urgently grabbed the tub of head wax and the cloth so she could get to working shining his bald scalp. 

"No! Rub in circles!" He snapped when she rubbed in harsh lines, something that irritated him greatly. It was too rough and didn't cover enough skin for his liking.

"Okay!" Charlotte listened to what he said and the minute she began to go round and round his bald head, he found fault again. Maybe the polish did help his little grey cells, but not when she went the wrong way

"Clockwise!" He ordered, still working away furiously as he tried to find their friends. Time was running out.

~

"Oh my god, we're almost at ten million!" Frankini gasped as his monitor showed how he was less than one thousand people away from the big number. Captain Man and his sidekicks were still loving their worm dip, which was making Goomer giggle now that he'd gotten over his initial gagging and disgust. It was the same for other people too, the counter was nearly complete.

"Nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight!... Nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine!..." Frankini cried as they reached their target, a nice round ten million, not that Goomer could read big numbers.

"Ten thousand!" He exclaimed, thinking he was celebrating with his boss, but he kind of killed the mood since he thought it was a much lower number than it really was. Back on the table, (y/n), her boyfriend and Henry were shitting themselves as they heard that it was time, the moment they'd been dreading.

"Million!" Frankini corrected him, upset that his big moment had been ruined, but he could look over it. Nothing could dampen his spirits, not when he had done it, he'd beaten every other sucker and now stood on top as the number one streamer in the world.

"Ten thousand million!" Well, maybe that could dampen the spirits. Poor Goomer, he had no idea how wrong he was or how much he pissed off Frankini.

"Ten million!...oh my god, I did it! I am the most popular livestreamer on the entire World Wide Web! I mean, you stream me, you really, really stream me! Thank you!" He cried into the camera. Even though he was being incredibly selfish by taking away the superheroes' most precious thing, he still took the time to appreciate his viewer's help before he shrugged Goomer away.

"And now...as promised, it's time for Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger to remove their masks." Frankini nodded at Goomer, who had retreated to the controls and was all too happy to make them shove back their chairs and stand up. He wanted Miss Danger on their side and if she stopped being a superhero, then hopefully she would.

"They're about to take off their masks!" Charlotte exclaimed as she and Schwoz struggled to do...anything. She had no idea what they were going to do, but from how much she'd been rubbing the genius' head, she hoped he'd thought of something clever.

"I'm almost ready!" Schwoz exclaimed, his plan on the brink of being a success. Just a few last-minute preparations and then he could save them, but he had to get everything ready, even if it was seconds before a disaster.

"To do what?" Charlotte questioned, wondering what was going on since all he'd been doing for the past half an hour was tapping away on all his little gadgets and ignoring her whilst she rubbed his head just the way he liked. Talk about taking things for granted, she just wanted to know what he was about to do.

"To turn off all the power in Swellview!" He answered, rushing around like a madman since it was taking all of his technical skill to kill the entire grid. If they couldn't get to Ray or Henry or (y/n), then they'd turn everything off and hope that they could help themselves.

"What?! Why?!" She gasped, thinking that it sounded, crazy, illegal, stupid, dangerous and difficult. Would he be able to pull it off?

"If there's no electricity, the Domitron will stop working!" He told her with a smirk all over his smug face. You had to admit that this was an ingenious plan, one of his finest and if it worked, then Frankini would be foiled. Way to go, Schwoz.

"But—ooooh, that's smart." Charlotte returned the smirk as she realised that he wasn't as stupid as he looked. Still, they had to do it now, Ray, Henry and (y/n) were reaching for their masks, fingers twitching and eyes full of fear as they tried to resist showing who they were, but their hands wouldn't stop. They groaned and grimaced at being so powerless, their discomfort being shared by Piper, Jasper, Sydney, Oliver and countless others, but just as their fingertips brushed the smooth material glued to their skin...

"And...now!" Schwoz shut off the power, plunging all of Swellview into darkness and everything turned black, including the Frankini Club. 

"What just happened?" The man asked as his place became dark in what should've been his greatest success. Ray, (y/n) and Henry were jerking, twitching and involuntarily moaning as they regained control of their own bodies, which was a shock to the system after having been locked away for so long.

"I don't know, the power went out," Goomer reported, squinting around the room as he tried to get the Domitron to work, but without a power supply, it was just another trinket. Perfect.

"What? What did you do?" Frankini growled as the superheroes leaned on the table, trying to work out what the fuck was going on. They could still taste the worm dip, but amazingly, their arms bent and their legs moved when they wanted them to, sweet cheese.

"I didn't do nothing! Uh...no punish." He insisted, but his bravery quivered when Frankini glowered and lunged for him, screaming bloody murder for how everything had done a one-eighty and he was now looking like an idiot.

"Kid, Miss Danger, y'alright?" Ray asked, marvelling at how when he wanted to put his arm around his girl, it actually did and how his lips moved how he wanted them to. God, it felt good to feel her skin again and even better to know that he could keep her safe once more.

"Yeah, I think so." Henry nodded as he wiggled around to stretch his exhausted muscles, whilst Ray dipped his head down to give his sweet girl a soft kiss, something he'd been dying to do all night, but upon gathering her senses, she quickly put a hand between their lips.

"Later, once we've brushed our teeth. All I can taste is worms." She chuckled, raking her eyes over him happily. It had been torture to sit next to him and not look at and dream about and admire everything about him, but now she had him, at last. Her boyfriend, her love, her Ray.

"Yeah, mine too." He agreed, wiping at his tongue whilst Henry bent over and gagged a little like he'd been wanting to do ever since he put the damn dip in his mouth. Yeah, he was going to be throwing up in his toilet until three in the morning.

"Oh, god, where's the plug?!" They heard Frankini panic as they shook off the Domitron's effects, but it was no use. No way were they gonna let him control them again; models? Yeah right, what a load of bullshit.

"Hey, I made myself say that." Henry pointed out to the couple as they held each other for support and comfort. They had been so caught up in each other and being able to just appreciate being together again that they hadn't realised that they were free.

"We're back in control of our own bodies!" Ray exclaimed, smiling at his girl when he saw that he wasn't being made to hold her (which was better than worms by a long shot), he was doing it because he loved her and it was his instinct to bring her into his arms where he could shield her from the humiliation and dangers.

"Quick! Let's get out of these Frankini Bottoms before the power comes back on!" (y/n) gasped, fumbling for her belt where her gum tube was clipped once she noticed how their torturer was quickly trying to get everything back online. Not so fast, they weren't about to become his marionettes again.

"Right. Let's blow a bubble and get back into our pants, slash skirt." Ray said, not caring about sounding cool, he was just eager to get back into his normal uniform. That and he wanted to see (y/n)'s ass in her cute, little, red satin number. 

"That didn't rhyme," Henry noted. He didn't see the hurry and was surprised to see his boss be uncool in front of his girlfriend, but after all that crap about appearing cool earlier, Ray was done with pretending he was someone he wasn't. For now.

"Just blow a bubble, we'll pitch on rhymes later." Ray snapped, popping a gumball from his tube, but just before he was about to throw it in his mouth, a terrible memory came flooding back to (y/n), something that brought back all her guilt.

"Wait!" She cried, putting her hands on their shoulders as she teared up a bit and looked at them both. Yeah, technically it wasn't her fault, but she wasn't the sort of person to just walk away without feeling a bit bad.

"What?" Henry asked, believing that she'd spotted or felt something awful. As always, now he was interested in her advice and gut feeling, but then again, anything bad she felt could've just been the worms.

"I brushed your teeth with toilet brushes, I'm so sorry!" She panicked, looking at the boy and then her boyfriend with an apologetic face, which made them both chuckle. Only (y/n) would feel bad for something she'd been forced to do by a psychotic criminal.

"Sweet girl..." Ray smiled and pressed a kiss to her nose, giggling at how silly and kind the girl he had chosen was. He'd make sure that she left this behind with no guilt, but for now, they just needed to blow their bubbles and get back into their normal gear.

"Oh my god, something's happening! Where'd my Frankini bottoms go?" Frankini gasped as he glanced up from whatever he was doing and saw that the superheroes were no longer wearing his pants, just their regular uniform as and that meant that he couldn't do shit to them. God, it felt good to feel that silkiness brush against her thighs and even better for (y/n) to see Frankini turn pale under his foundation.

"If I were you, I'd worry about your own Frankini bottom." (y/n) hissed, feeling so clever for having come up with the line, but when Frankini giggled at her mentioning his ass, it sort of ruined the quip. And it made Ray clench his jaw with how he still wanted to be flirtatious even with his ass on the line.

"Man Cave." Henry nudged Ray as his phone began to ring, the contact showing that it was the hideout trying to reach them, Charlotte probably. He guessed they were worried after watching the livestream and then the power outage.

"Take it, we'll wait for ya," Ray told his sidekick, curling a possessive arm around (y/n)'s waist and pulling her a little closer to his body so Frankini knew where he stood. Nowhere.

"Hey," Henry answered the call as Ray turned his darkest frowny face to Frankini, although his hold on (y/n) never faltered.

"Henry! Are you, (y/n) and Ray okay?" Charlotte answered as Schwoz listened in. She had been desperate to make the call but had to wait for the Man Cave's backup generators to kick in before she could and it had been an anxious wait. 

"Yeah, we're cool but, only 'cause the power went out." He told her, prompting Schwoz's heart to flutter with pride as he heard about how he'd saved their bacon. Maybe they'd be more appreciative of his skills in future.

"That was me! I did that!" He exclaimed proudly, but he was forgetting that he'd had an assistant in saving their bacon, even if she had only done one thing.

"Well, I rubbed cream on your head!" Charlotte added, frowning at how she'd been left out for Schwoz to take all the glory. What a cheek.

"Okay, okay, it worked, okay? And go ahead and turn the power back on now." Henry told them, glancing over to see that Ray had told Frankini that he and Goomer were going to jail (amongst other things, like how a certain girl only gave her love to him) and boy, they were not taking it well. 

"Aye!" Schwoz nodded and flipped his lever upwards, turning Swellview's grid ack on before the authorities started panicking too much and with everyone else getting signal, Henry was soon wanted elsewhere.

"Hey, it's Jasper, I'll hit you back," Henry told Charlotte before switching onto his other call. He was glad that he wasn't the one dealing with Frankini right now, 'cause he looked real upset, smearing his mascara and everything.

"Hen, are you, Miss Danger and Captain Man all right?" Jasper asked quietly as the call connected and the lights in the Hart's house came back on. He assumed that they were okay, but he had to make sure, despite Piper, Sydney and Oliver being so close in the kitchen.

"Yeah, listen, I'll meet you back at the Man Cave. Right after I take care of Frankini." The boy replied, looking over at the shrewd criminals and his words sparked a thought in Jasper, who underneath his curls, kept some rather sneaky ideas.

"Well, if you really wanna get Frankini, you should bring him to your house," Jasper told him, smirking as he stroked the fake pimple on his neck. Henry had no idea about how he and his sister had tried to help out, but Jasper was sure he'd love his plan, it was perfect. "Why?"

~Henry's House~

Yep, he loved it. Henry, (y/n) and hell, even Ray couldn't be prouder of Piper and Jasper, plus those other guys, for trying to help and they were more than happy to hand Frankini over for some well-deserved punishment. 

"Wow, I'm so pumped that over eleven million people are watching this livestream right now to see the eruption of the biggest pimple of all time." Piper grinned at the camera and she had several reasons to be happy. First, she was now the world record holder for the most viewers watching a livestream, second, Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger were standing behind her in her house and third, she got to humiliate Frankini like he'd done to her favourite superheroes. Everything was good.

"I'm Jasper." Well, he might as well have said it, it was his only chance of fame, but he soon shut up when Piper pulled down her goggles and got on her stool. It was time for some payback.

"Ready?" She looked at Oliver, who was in control of the pudding canisters. This had to look good and he was ready to open the hatch and let it come out. 

"Hey..." Ray glanced down at (y/n) who was smiling at the scene unfolding in front of her. Both of them had brushed their teeth after arriving at Henry's house, glad to scrub away the worm taste with a normal, clean toothbrush, which meant that what was denied earlier could now be given. 

"Hey..." She smirked up at him, instantly knowing what he wanted as an arm wrapped around her stomach and she looked over her shoulder and up at him. 

"I don't suppose that I could have that kiss now?" He asked, chuckling at how coy he was being and how even after quite a few months of dating, he was still able to add colour to her cheeks.

"You can, doofus." She smiled and stood on her tiptoes as best she could in her boots and welcomed the feel of the soft, familiar lips against hers. This was home, him just happy to share an innocent, worm-free moment with her, loving how she chased his movements until Piper was ready to start.

"Ready? One, two, three!" Piper squeezed the fake pimple in sync with Oliver turning on the pudding sprayer, resulting in a jet of pus-like pudding flying from the swollen lump across the room and onto Frankini. Ray had left him on the floor tied up, happy to let him get sprayed and humiliated because of how he and his sidekicks had suffered the same due to him.

"Why did you pop it? Payback is a zit!" Frankini whined, spluttering and squirming when the pudding got in his mouth and eyes. It tasted quite nice really, but he was just whiny because his makeup and outfit were ruined. There was no better sight than seeing him cry and it seemed like the viewers loved it too.

"I miss those Frankini Bottoms," Ray mentioned to his sidekicks, making (y/n) groan and Henry grin. Seriously, he liked wearing the ridiculous leggings? What about the pain and suffering that they'd caused?

"Yeah, they felt gooooood!" Henry nodded, smiling brightly as he thought about how snug the bottoms were they were so comfortable, a bit perilous, but so stretchy. Yeah, the pattern was a bit bright, but apart from that, they looked great.

"Why do you two never listen to my little danger radar? It's like I sense when shit's about to go wrong and then you ignore me until shit hits the fan and you need me to come in and save your asses." (y/n) fretted, making Ray chuckle as his mind drifted back to how those tight pants accentuated her hips and legs. He loved her figure and everything else about her, especially how hot she looked when so animated and full of energy.

"Your ass looked great in the Frankini Bottoms." He whispered back to her as Henry ignored her protests, preferring to watch Frankini sit in a puddle of banana pudding, sobbing for the internet to laugh at.

"Thanks, but I won't be wearing them again anytime soon." She rolled her eyes at how he always brought conversations back to her backside. He was an ass man and loved to talk about it, grab it, anything really.

"What will you wear instead then?" He asked, feigning ignorance despite them both knowing that he was anything but, even in someone else's house. Ray couldn't help but wiggle some innuendo into everything.

"Nothing, if you're lucky." (y/n) smirked when his body tensed and the arm around her got tighter. He was bad, but so was she, both of them giggling like idiots in love as Frankini whimpered on the floor because that's what they were.  Two idiots who lived a crazy, dangerous life full of surprises, but endured through the support of their little family and their golden love. It was magical and they wouldn't have it any other way.

[torchickentacos]

Physical Education Class and Ableism (AKA, 'Is my invisible disability actually invisible, or do you just close your eyes when confronted with a student in pain?')

I will not pretend this is a well-written discussion on the issues in PE. This is not that. This is an outlet of the grief and pain and genuine suffering that I, and many other students, felt through PE class- which goes far further than having a couple blisters after running the mile. I am in no way being dramatic or hyperbolic when I say that PE class leaves a long-lasting stain on not only self-image, but for some of us, our bodies. LONG POST. This IS personal and emotional (because years later I'm still angry at how I was treated), not a purely fact-driven dissertation, though personal anecdotes are relevant to the topic, and my emotional biases do not invalidate my points.

TW for ableism and brief mention of ED behaviours (clearly labeled and easy to skip over). This was definitively NOT fun to write, and I quite dislike talking about exactly how much disability affects me but I'm honestly angry enough to not care right now. Because every time I think about how I was treated, I get angrier and angrier. The wound grows deeper with each year I have to process it. I just want this to reach anyone else who is as angry about it as I am to reassure you that you have every right to be angry. A hell of a lot more people should be mad, too. I want people to get mad reading this. If you want, share it. Put it on tiktok without credit, for all I care (though actually please don't do that). If nothing else, just listen to kids when they say they're in pain.

To preface, I have never been able to do a push-up. Never. My shoulders and elbows just cannot support me. Any time we did push-up tests, I'd just sit on my ass because why hurt myself trying to do what everyone around me could do with ease? As for curl-ups, I think I peaked at 27 once. I never ran the mile in under thirteen minutes. Never did a pull-up. Was always last in every activity consistently (even during Ramadan, as a non-muslim who was not fasting- which, Ramadan and PE expectations are a WHOLE other topic that I am not educated enough on to make comments on, so I digress).

There were maybe three things I was good at, though. I could always far exceed everyone else in stretching and flexibility tests, and I was uniquely really good at gymnastics and hurdles, of all things. In retrospect, this is due to the leg flexibility needed for hurdle jumping, and I'm flexible due to disability- I'll get into that soon, though.

All of which is to say, I was bad at PE.

No matter what we did, for the most part, I'd be lagging behind and dizzy and in pain.

At first, I tried to push through and ignore it, determined to not fall too far behind my classmates. I was already a weirdo in the special ed program, didn't need another reason to feel like an outcast. I was already, at that point in time, missing large chunks of the year due to 'psychiatric help' stays, to put it mildly. So I just tried to keep up and never could.

Eventually, the complaining started. Or rather, the advocating that fell on un-listening ears. I started telling my teachers that running hurt and I didn't know why. That I was out of breath and my head hurt. This went on for a couple years and every single time the answer was 'well, you'll get half credit for the class if you walk today, but if you do that too much you'll fail'. So basically the answer I was given was to run with everyone else or fail class.

I started having a crunching knee. A clicking kneecap. Ankles rolling. Progressively getting worse over time. I started running with a limp. I started lagging even further behind. I started giving up entirely, opting to walk and take a bad grade because I could not keep willingly and actively hurting myself. One time, I even almost passed out after the mile and was told "well, put your head between your knees and see if that helps, then go back inside and get ready to go to your next class".

What that response told me was that I was being dramatic and lazy. The lack of seriousness they took it with told me I was just being overdramatic. So, I started believing them. Every time I walked up the school's stairs to the second floor, knees hurting and chest heaving, I just told myself I was out of shape and needed to work out more. I convinced myself I was lazy, just like they thought I was. I tried to get better. I tried to exert myself more and more in class only for it to hurt more and more.

The harder I tried, the worse I got.

I didn't understand it. Everyone around me was doing the same exercises and getting faster and stronger. Everyone else was improving or at least staying at the same levels of health. I was deteriorating, no matter how hard I tried to get into shape. I wasn't trying hard enough, maybe. SKIP RED SECTION IF ED TOPICS ARE TRIGGERING FOR YOU.

Maybe I was overweight, I thought (not true and led to some very bad habits that made me worse). I'd go from not eating lunch one day to eating two the next, trying ANYTHING that would make me feel like I was putting in the 'effort' to be healthier. Maybe I needed more food and more muscle. Maybe I needed less food and less fat. I'm sure we can see how this was an issue (that could have and would have been avoided had I been listened to).

RED SECTION OVER.

I was roughly thirteen to sixteen through all of this, if my math adds up (which it very well may not, since we can also put math in the disability zone for me).

I still get stuck in this thought pattern. I'm still working to get rid of these thoughts and attitudes in 2023. My last PE class was in 2018 if I recall.

I started skipping class. I was getting panic attacks and hiding out in the halls, in the bathrooms, trying to strategically schedule counselor meetings, doing anything I could to avoid PE class and the pain that came with it.

Eventually, though, after an eternity of pain and being told to suck it up, I stopped PE classes and fulfilled my credits for them (how I passed, I have NO idea- I can only guess my IEP team pulled strings for me behind the scenes). Only after this did I learn I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome (and some other random stuff that's less pertinent but definitely didn't help).

Ehlers Danlos or EDS is, to put it simply, a joint/connective tissue disorder characterized by hypermobile, super flexible yet weak joints that are prone to injury and dislocation. It comes with a plethora of comorbidities and other symptoms that aren't as relevant but still made it harder for me to work out.

Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome, or POTS, is where your heart rate spikes when you stand from sitting or laying down, causing dizziness and blacking out. For me, it also results in chronic hypoxia- low oxygen.

During exercise, my joints were not strong enough to take it. My joints would not stay in place and this caused injury. Want to know one of the owrst things people with EDS can do? High-impact repetitive exercises. Like running. The POTS made me dizzy and weak, and I couldn't get enough oxygen to sustain the level of exertion required of me to run.

I am now not ALLOWED to run by my doctor. I'm still working on finding a way to work out that is safe for me because the truth is, most exercises are NOT safe for me. Granted, exercise in specific ways are actually helpful and considered treatment, but this is with a physical therapist and medical professionals who know how to help you work out in ways that will help and not prove to be detrimental.

Safe to say, PE class is not that.

And here's the thing. Ehlers Danlos and POTS are what are known as invisible disabilities. Unlike amputees or people whose disabilities altered the physical look of their bodies, my disabilities are all internal. But they aren't truly invisible.

My teacher could have seen the way I was white as a sheet and stumbling after attempting the mile, the way I would almost black out once I finally sat on the grass. She should have seen the way I winced as I got up from sitting every single time. She saw me limping when my kneecaps were sliding OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS as I ran (but she likely assumed I was being dramatic and faking that limp). Invisible disabilities are not truly invisible. Through the easy bruises, the never-healing injuries, the blood pooling, the pallid faces and the hyperflexible joints, the rashes and reactions, through the pain and through all the times I tried my damn hardest to vocalize these issues, it was immensely visible if someone was willing to see it or listen.

She only ever saw the issue when I started to skip class because I was getting panic attacks about attending.

The last interaction I ever had with my PE teacher was at Graduation.

We had an outdoor venue due to Covid. By then, I'd had diagnoses for Ehlers Danlos, Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome, and various other things, and I'd been out of PE for three years (I took two years of pe freshman and sophomore year, none during junior and senior, and had one extra year for a veterinary science thing).

I had seen her during our practice round, which took place in our gym. I'd asked her about the amount of stairs at the venue and about how much standing was needed, explaining my disability to the same woman who would force me to run with it. She said she'd make sure she was there to help me through it and to find an accessible way to get through the venue.

I get to the venue and she's nowhere to be seen. I walk to the area we were told to go to, no teacher in sight to take me to any shortcuts or to keep an eye on me. I sit in the line of students on the hot concrete behind the stage (where everyone else stood) in my comfiest, most supportive shoes that clashed with my graduation dress, among the girls in their best heels.

I graduate in the same way I took PE class- without her help.

Afterwards, she finds me. After I've walked and sat on hot concrete and sweated and been dizzy and steadied myself on walls and the ground.

She says, in the most condescending voice I could possibly imagine, that I seem to have been fine without her help.

It was obvious to me. This final act, this final stretch of forced self-sufficience on my part had solidified it to her- I had never needed all the help I had seeked. All the complaining had been just that- complaining. Skipped classes were truancy. To her, I'm sure I'm long forgotten as one of the lazier students she's ever had.

I don't recall her name but I remember her face as clear as day. I remember how I felt every damn time I walked to the dressing room, the pain as I took my backpack off in the locker rooms and felt how much my back hurt from it. I remember her every time my knee crunches as I stand up from my desk chair, every time I'm out of breath. Every time my shoulder aches after tossing a stray ball to the kids across the street from my grandmother's house.

I remember how she made me feel.

I want to wave my cane in her face. I want to make her take my vitals and WATCH as the blood rushes out of my face as I stand, to WATCH as my heart rate goes from 65 resting to 120+ as I stand up. I want her to hear how my joints crack and pop and snap. I want her to see my kneecap sickeningly glide out of place and into the side of my knee. I want her to have been in the same room as my mom and I when my Cardiologist said my oxygen levels from POTS hypoxia could have been confused with that of someone in heart failure. I want her to know how I cried in the car after that appointment.

Not because I want her to be miserable and sick with guilt, but because I want to prove to her that I wasn't a liar. I wasn't faking it. i wasn't seeking attention.

But I can't do any of that, not that it would help anything if I was able to and did. All I can do is sit here and type and seethe, as my wrist pain starts to shoot into my forearm and as my hands and feet grow cold from blood pooling- I've been sitting and typing too long, and now my hand skin is mottled and my feet are growing purple with that so-called 'invisible' disability that nobody saw in me.

I don't want consolation. I don't want pity. I don't need sympathy, though I appreciate it. What I want is for this to stop happening. I want disabled people to be seen and to stop being forced to do things that are harmful to their bodies. I want for schools to stop giving a letter grade to someone's health. I want some random thirteen year old to not have to go through what I did at their age.

I WANT PEOPLE TO FUCKING LISTEN TO KIDS WHEN THEY SAY THEY'RE IN PAIN.

[noglorysavehonor]

Just read the book If You Could See The Sun by Ann Liang.

I liked it a lot, especially considering it's not really my genre! It was almost everything I wanted out of a Gen Z, class-conscious, YA straight romance book. As someone who isn't Chinese, but has had many Third Culture friends, I really enjoyed reading its exploration of the Chinese / Third Culture Kid experience.

I do think for the author's first novel it's a very strong work. The characterization and growth of the protagonist was strong, and felt emotionally authentic. The exploration of class and race and culture shock is well-integrated to the plot, and feels neither grimdark nor saccharine... the people just feel like people, not paragons or villains. I think both of these areas were real accomplishments!

My main critiques are about the ending, which IMO is also always the hardest part to pull off. It also means I can't easily talk about my feelings in detail without spoilers, so I'll put em under a readmore.

Overall, for my tastes, I'd give the book a B (85/100). But if a YA romance set in an international highschool in Beijing with class consciousness and mild supernatural elements sounds like your kind of book, I strongly recommend it. I knew going in that it's not my normal thing, and I enjoyed it anyways!

Okay, my (long) thoughts on the ending under the cut:

[Before I start, in case you're a megafan (or the actual author herself??): These critiques come from a place of love and respect; I Am Not A Hater. I just have strong personal opinions about what I want to see in a story ending, and wanted to express them while analyzing how the book didn't fulfill them. My opinions are not facts, art is subjective, etc. ANYWAYS.]

My biggest complaint is pretty common with the way straight romances are often portrayed, and is a major pet peeve of mine:

The payoff of a romance, for me, is hearing the other person say what they like about the protagonist!

Henry's interest in Alice is always implied, of course, but there's never a scene where he outright says every single little thing he adores about Alice (flustering her terribly in the process!) Instead, the payoff of the romance is watching him flex his richboy power to help her (which is great, and I don't begrudge it) and then the kiss.

The kiss is...it's fine. I understand making it the center piece. But I wish it had more to back it up.

I think this sort of approach to writing romance is based on the idea that... you want to leave the romantic lead vague so that the reader can fill in what elements they'd like best. But for me, I want the complete opposite approach. I want to know exactly what these two people are like, and exactly why they like each other!! The whole pull of romance media is seeing two weirdos fit each other perfectly!!

First-person romance especially is so good when we finally get to hear how the protagonist is being interpreted by outside viewers. Which the novel does explore, a bit, with her Study Machine nickname! But I was so sad when it didn't give Henry the chance to explain himself and let us understand him better.

That would have allowed us to reread the whole book while understanding what Henry's moments of bare affection are about! That sense of dramatic romantic irony is so delicious and makes romance stories so re-readable! AND- wouldn't it have been wonderful to watch Alice try her best to deflect and argue Henry out of every positive trait he lists?? To get almost ANGRY that he dares to love her as a flawed person, not just for her successes!!!

AUGH.

Anyways sdkdflkjsd those are my Romance Critiques. (I had the same major complaint with Kimi no Na wa, too...)

My other main critique is: It feels like her characterization as being strongly self-analytical fell off at the end.

I think the best way of pointing it out is the scene in which she lies to her Baba about the true nature of the Beijing Ghost app without feeling a shred of guilt. It felt a little odd given her characterization of strong guilt and filial piety in the rest of the book.

Plus, it's a tough pill to swallow that... she had this entire major thing going on in her life, and she's just not ever going to open up about it with her family, who clearly deeply love her. I recognize that it would be pretty hard to do so given her family dynamic and potential legal consequences. But still, I'd at least like an acknowledgement that it's a sucky position for her to be in, to have to lie (for the rest of her life?) about that.

And while she does recognize that she's been chasing what other people find valuable and not considering what she wants... and she also realizes that if she, as a kid of a poor family, is offered A Million Yuan to do a crime, that's deeply coercive and she shouldn't be held completely at fault while the rich person gets off scotch free (we LOVE the class consciousness!!!)...

I guess I would have loved to see her put two and two together and recognize that Airington is genuinely a bad place for her to be. That she is destroying her health, committing a HUGE amount of crime, and has ZERO social life, all so she can fit to a mold that wasn't meant for her, and kicked her out as soon as her desperation became too evident.

Which, like, she got a chance to call the school out for those things, which is awesome! Very necessary catharsis! And she was close to realizing this stuff, like in the hotel scene where she can't bring herself to enjoy the socialization. She just doesn't make much more progress past that point.

TL;DR: I think overall there's an understandable desire to speed up the narrative once we're past the big climax, but I feel like it went by so fast that important threads of character development lost their chance to reach satisfying conclusions. So a lot of things I personally wanted to see happen in the romance and her own personal growth never got shown.

(Maybe at some point I'll write down my whole visualization of how I would rewrite the ending to address all these things. Listen. The Fanfiction Instinct is upon me. Which means I liked the book! I only ever want to remix stories I really enjoyed! It's a compliment! slkdfjdslkjf)

[spydoclovr69420]

Divided Loyalties Deca Breakdown(Very Opinionated) PART 2

Page 94 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

What's with this sassy lost child.... Kinda dramatic to pick your time lord name before graduation and insist that your friends call you by that name instead. OK Doctor, you do you, weirdo.

Azmael and the Doctor seem close-ish in this section. Also Rallon description and Millenia description.

So Rallon description says he is a big fella, sounds very playful with the shoulder pat. and Millenia has long hair she throws around, I can practically picture it. I picture him kind of tall and muscly.

Page 94 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

I'm just saying they're the oldest bestest friends and they deserve to be happy. THOSCHEI.

Love it with them walking next to each other behind the other members, although there's not much said about their actual relationship to each other.

Page 95 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

The idea that all 10 members of the Deca are academically superior is argued a lot throughout continuity. Koschei being non-reactive both makes a ton of sense and none at all considering how we know him now (but that's extenuating circumstances).

Kos is schemes. As he does.

That's actually just them. Kind of fun to see something that foreshadows future interactions while still being playful in this historical context. Makes food a good two sided coin of the past and the future. (very Doctor Who)

Page 95 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

Mortimus is described as "rotund" and also with having "aerial ears" which probably means that he mostly listens until he has something to input into the conversation. I'm picturing a not-quite silent type character with strong opinions when he does have them. (Or strong questions)

Also Type 30 TARDIS' are in testing, which means we're still a couple versions behind the Doctor's museum piece Type 40. The Type 40 was considered a museum piece when the Doctor was young according to the TARDIS in 'The Doctor's Wife'. So from this we assume he is even YOUNGER in this flashback scene.

Page 95-96 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

From "Even those in the Deca" it sounds like they get some special permissions for their academic accomplishment.

Millennia and Rallon being together and annoyingly cute saying goodbye to each other before leaving is so sweet.

Page 96 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

Gendered dorms, kind weird for a society where the people change gender, but I suppose they don't quite yet so... ok.

Describing them as Decas, using it as an adjective is super interesting and cute. On the other hand, mentioning that they are "leaving him alone. As always" sounds like from the narrator's perspective, at least, this happens a lot.

"Anal-retentives with personality defects and self-insecurities"... insane way to describe a person.

Page 96 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russel

Ok Mortimus kind of ruins him here. Very sassy, very brutal. Also he cares 0% about the repercussions of being written up.

Also, nobody likes hall monitors, not even hall monitors.

It sounds like the Deca (at least Mortimus) have had tardiness/ hall monitor issues in the past. This might be because of the 3 hour walk they took between this page and the last.

Page 97 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

The CIA (not the US one) is a spooky force of nature and is SUPER up their own asses, they're also targeting someone specific. There's some theories that think the CIA is a later version of Division from series 12 of NuWho. There's a lot of conflicting information about this agency and how it started.

We know who has a destiny, rat ass Mr. acting older than he is.

Page 97-98 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

Loyal to the end.... yeah totes.

ALSO "Let nothing come between us" and having Koschei reply must have been entirely on purpose because it's too ironic.

Also Koschei having his own dorm room makes my Thoschei headcanons of sneaking into each other's rooms to do kissing and cheating on homework even more valid.

Also foreshadowing.

Page 98 of Divided Loyalties by Gary Russell

The Doctor has had many partners and I don't think he ever managed to regret it.

This section kind of makes me think about the romantic/partner related thoughts of time lords. Appearance (surprisingly) and personality, as well as their family.

Thanks for reading this unreasonably long rant about Divided Loyalties, it's very fun to read and compare to other sources about DW history. I think after I finish DL I'll start with Lungbarrow... maybe even really get into it.

Divided Loyalties

Part 1 ...

[ikuzeminna]

Uhura casting in SNW

I saw your post about the uhura miscasting. Do you believe in the theory some fans have that why they chose an ugly actress to play uhura was because they did not want her to be a threat to chrsitine chapel? I am glad I am not alone in thinking the new Uhura is highly very unattractive. So unattractive that it breaks the 4th wall. Like he creators don't see it. I was scared to say anything because I did not want to be labelled as a racist that hate dark skin black girls. There are very pretty dark skin black girl actresses.The Uhura actress is just not one.

Oh, Ce|ia Gοοding looks perfectly fine, my dear crap-stirring anon. Large, soulful eyes that draw the attention, a soft smile. Soft lines and curves. It's all there.

The creators of SΝW simply choose not to portray her Uhυra as attractive. And that's very easy to tell because they sure choose to do so with Chaρel. We see Chaρel be confident and cool and in a dress in a bar, we see all the ship teasing with her and Sρock and get to hear her talk about past trysts or a relationship or whatever that was. Her kissing Sρock has him feel~ things. Chaρel is actively painted as desirable by the narrative. SΝW Uhυra? We get to see her in her PJs and stuff her face hurriedly. She doesn't get to flirt with anyone. She randomly hums during a get-together to introduce a MacGuffin for later that is done so clumsily that Uhυra just comes off as a weirdo. Honestly, SΝW Uhυra's mannerisms remind me of Rοry Gilmοre. A book-smart, overachieving oddball, complete with juvenile exclamations during life or death situations ("And the crowd goes wild!").

That is not what TΟS Uhυra is like. TΟS Uhυra is refined and graceful. TΟS Uhυra is someone who is in control. She is someone who is confident. She is someone who draws attention to herself because she wants to. When she hums in the rec room and disrupts Sρock's playing, she owns it. She openly flirts with him. When Sρock tells her to hurry with the comm repairs she doesn't cave. You piss her off, she'll lock you in a closet. There was a slew of people who found her gorgeous. TΟS Uhυra was actively shown to be highly desirable (even if it couldn't go anywhere due to racism).

Hmm, did I just describe SΝW Chaρel? Oh my, what a coincidence.

If SΝW Chaρel and Uhυra switched personalities and backstories and Chaρel was written less like a 14-year-old's self-insert it would already make the characters more consistent with their TΟS counterparts. In fact, it'd make a lot of sense if Chaρel had massive daddy and self-esteem issues, explaining why in TΟS she'd latch onto the intentionally most emotionally distant man in the universe. Goodness, imagine. Exploring the reason for a woman's biggest character flaw in-depth instead of relegating her to just a dramatic love interest again. Because that's all Chaρel still is. Her modern upgrade has been knocking people out and being a spunky wisecracker, but she still has no relevance outside of her feelings for Sρock.

What an update.

To answer your question, I don't know what the creators were thinking, but it was definitely not casting an unattractive woman to get rid of competition. You can't even be unattractive as an actress. That's not how the show biz works. To me it looks more like yet another of the misguided takes about female empowerment that have been trending for the last 10+years that demand that "strong women" need to be independent and emotional hermits and not sexy because that is demeaning and women are not objects of desire or just there to be girlfriends, how dare you! what do you mean, that's what we do with Chaρel? that's completely different, oh em gee..!

The only character in SΝW who got the better deal is Τ'Ρring. She is actually a character now and not just more shallow drama for Sρock. Whoever is in charge of writing her should get a raise and be given the other characters, too, because SΝW started out strong but quickly became a kiddie pool of character depth.

No, I'm not a fan. The first half is fine but then it flushes itself down the toilet. Ηemmer dies and the focus is on Sρock's ship tease with Chaρel. Are you kidding me.

And then I have to sit through Ρike angsting about his fate yet again because the creators apparently hate disabled people.

People can scream all they want about JJ Τrek, but it got things right. It introduced new dynamics and elements that make sense and are interesting. JJ Τrek wasn't afraid to use romance and attractiveness to give depth to Uhυra and realize something that wasn't possible decades ago. It gave an attractive woman agency in her relationship that reveals as much about who she is as a person as the man she's with. Was JJ gunning for feminism? No, he was gunning for badass but got a lot of things right in the process.

They introduce her right after Sρock tells the Vυlcans to go eff themselves, showing us someone who is popular as she greets people here and there until she gets to the bar. Then Κirk comes leaning into the shot and immediately starts hitting on her. JJ Uhυra is not just popular, she is hot. So hot that the main guy sets his sights on her. And then they just start deconstructing the Hero Gets The Girl trope. You buy her a drink, she'll want something from you? Sorry, bro. You impress her with your knowledge, she'll want something from you? Nah, man. She smiles at you, she finally took the bait? Go sleep with some more farm animals, my dude.

Uhυra turning down legendary womanizer Κirk is such an important thing.

She is in control when Κirk is hitting on her, she is in control when she confronts Sρock about the Farragυt posting. Even when she's scared for her life facing the Κlingons, she remains in control of her emotions just like TΟS Uhυra when she admitted to her captain she was often scared but drew strength from him. One of her defining traits is being able to still do her job despite her emotional state.

SΝW Uhυra has none of that refinement and control. It's a completely different character. And I don't care if she is young because JJ's Τrek showed an Uhυra who was just as young, but where her core character traits were all present.

As for female empowerment, again, people can scream all they want, JJ Τrek still did a better job at it than SΝW. And why? Because an attractive woman doesn't automatically mean a sexualized woman. Yes, there is the underwear scene that was completely unnecessary and stupid, I'll own that. But aside from that dumb shot no one in the movie cares about, Uhυra being an attractive woman during the bar scene was not sexualizing Uhυra, it was portraying Κirk as a lecherous idiot. If people take a scene like that and think "Look! She's only an object of desire! She's only there to be the girlfriend!" instead of "Wow, what a jerk. Which part of no is so hard to understand, you loser?" that's on them and their male view interpretation and the bullcrap, internalized opinion that being attractive is an open invitation for every numbnut to hit on you.

It's not necessary for a strong woman or a non-sexualized woman to not have any sexuality at all. That's stupid and limiting. Like having to be allergic to nuclear families. This whole "You can’t want that, it’s demeaning!“ nonsense is pretty much the opposite of feminism. There's a reason Νichelle Νichols was wearing a freaking mini skirt during ΤOS. Because she wanted that right as a woman, not because she wanted to be a floozy.

Side note: I'm not gonna tag this anything because I have better things to do than get into arguments about a show I couldn't care less about. But I wanted to answer the ask nonetheless. I know anon will see it.

[softieskywalker]

#seriously people were writing high concept genre-bending studies with varying levels of canon nostalgia and new concepts#with every possible mix of mando+side characters under the sun#and this is somehow the best a multimillion team could pull off?#too many cooks in the kitchen honestly just take me and my top 5 or 6 star wars mutuals and let us make that shit alone#full creative control to the weirdos in their early 20s

@monsterhospital is 100% right how is it possible that the best paid writers in the industry are delivering such shit writing in the show that's supposed to be the franchise's flagship. this show in its first seasons had people who didn't give a shit about star wars watching it because it was that good! and now it's giving quality like the awful filler episodes in the early seasons of the clone wars. and we're not kidding when we say we've read fics a million times better. i'm not delusional and think every single fanfiction is professional screenwriting quality (on the contrary i actually think most people overestimate fanfiction's real quality) but out of the hundreds of fics that imagine what mando season 3 looks like I've read at least 5 who are KILOMETERS ahead in quality to the shit that is mando season 3. at every! single! plot! point! oh bo-katan has to deal with the consequences of losing her entire planet and being a failed leader on top of her sense of self-righteousness? I've already seen it done better. they're not even touching the surface of how complex this character can be. oh din has to redeem himself in the eyes of his people and his religion? yeah no it's getting solved in like two episodes don't worry it's not like that was literally the only thing with any dramatic weight left for him since they gave him baby yoda back like it never mattered anything.

ugh i'm so disappointed, it's sad. especially knowing it could have been so good!!! when they shoved the mando-grogu reunion to a spin off like boba fett i was disappointed but at least i thought "hey maybe they're doing this quickly because mando season 3 is going to be so much more powerful!" but this? really? you wasted the entire dramatic weight of a father missing his child and a child reconnecting with his culture for... this?

impossible to watch the new mando season without thinking "i've read over 30 fics who've done the exact same storyline better"

[silversainz]

Here for you

dad!Sebastian vattel x teenage reader

Summary: being the youngest f1 driver and being a female in such a sport can be amazing and scaring sometimes. and well when old man see young females in such a sport they find any opportunity to be a weirdo and creep to them

warnings and read with caution: sexual harassment, pining, creepy behavior, old man, hitting, slapping, lots of angst, Sebastian being a father figure, fighting, mentions of bleeding, crying, cussing lots of it, not proofread, probably some errors.

"and there's the birthday girl!" Sebastian cheered as you walked into the restaurant and pulled you in for a hug while playfully fake crying. Everybody watched the scene unfold and laughed at him, while giving you soft pats on the back and some hugs as you let go of Sebastian and walked over to your seat beside Mick.

"my girl is getting old" you rolled your eyes at Sebastian's dramatic self and put your hand up to your chest acting offended. "I'm not that old! I'm eighteen now!" You gigged as everybody groaned and started pretending to cry on each other.

being the youngest on the gird came with the benefits of being treated like a little sister and daughter to everyone on the gird even with those who you didn't talk to or even know that well. and so tonight for your birthday, eighteen to be exact. they all decided to take you out to your favorite restaurant and just celebrate your birthday together. As they knew you didn't like going all out for your birthday and liked to have simple birthdays.

As the night went on and everybody was laughing chatting away with each other while drinking and enjoying their food. as you were in a conversation with Charlotte who sat next to you, somebody tapped you on the shoulder causing you to jump and look at them, only to see an older looking man, instead of somebody you knew.

"oh um, can I help you?" you asked the man causing the guys to look your way with curious eyes and looking the creepy looking man up and down. "Y-youre y/n, r-right" the man stuttered over his words way too drunk and smelled so badly of strong alcohol

"yeah I am, can I help you?" from under the table Charlotte grabbed onto your hand squeezing it as a warning sign, something she often did with you when she found discomfort in the man talking to you. but you chose to ignore it and politely smiled at the man a happy smile pulling at your lips

"o-oh you're much more beautiful in person, wow babe" he continued on eyeing you up looking at you with hungry lustful looking eyes, it's when he licked his lips and put a hand on your shoulder gripping it roughly, made Sebastian stand up from his seat a furious and disgusting look in his eyes, he walked over to the him and pushed him away lightly "alright that's enough, mate. You've clearly had too much to drunk." Sebastian got up in the mans face and got in front of the man blocking him from you.

the man put his hands up in defense and laughed "o-oh c-come on mate" he mocked Sebastian's accent "I was just admiring the pretty young girl" Sebastian ballied his fist up at that and got up in the mans face.

"I don't fucking care. get lost and stop hitting on young girls you fucking creep" Sebastian grabbed onto the mans shoulder and forcefully pushed him away from the table, he watched as the man took one last look at you and shook his head while walking away.

Sebastian looked at you and rubbed your shoulder in a comfort way "you alright kid" he asked as he made his way back to his seat while looking back and seeing if that man left. "yeah-um I'm fine. that was just unexpected. I'm sorry guys" everybody waved you off mumbling about how it wasn't your fault and tried changing the subject for you, while looking around making sure the creep left.

as hours went by and the restaurant was now completely empty, except for the 11 of you in the restaurant. everybody decided it was time to go home seeing as it was almost three in the morning and you all had spent all morning till night there.

as everybody was putting on their coats and grabbing their valuable items getting ready to leave, they all hugged each other saying goodbye one by one while they all left their separate ways. As you grabbed your phone and was getting ready to leave, Sebastian pulled you to the side with a smile on his.

"I hope you enjoyed your birthday dinner kid" he pulled you in for another hug making you wrap your arms around him hugging him tightly "I sure did. thank you for putting this all together it mean a lot, especially coming from all of you" you pulled away and Sebastian grabbed his coat putting it on getting ready to leave as well.

"well I'll see you tomorrow kid at the race, right?"Sebastian asked as you nodded your head "yeah I'll be there. Also um I need to use the bathroom real quick, can you wait here until I come back please" you asked, Sebastian chuckled while pulling out a chair.

"sure I'll be waiting here, take your time" and with that you walked off in the direction of the restroom, unbeknownst to you a man lurked in the shadows of the restaurant and eyed you from across the bar, like a prey in the night. he tossed his cigarette in the cigarette tray while taking another shot he got up from his seat and walked towards the bathrooms that he saw you walk in.

while you stood there washing your hands. you felt weird like somebody was staring at you, but as you looked around you saw no one and was the only one in the bathroom. You turned off the faucet and dried your hands. as you opened up the bathroom door you were about to walk out when suddenly somebody had grabbed you and pushed you harshly back into the bathroom

it all happened in the blink of an eye, so you didn't even have time to process what was happening, but when you did you opened your mouth to scream but the man was quicker than you and put his hand up to your mouth covering it. "Shh sweetie, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you" his hand slid up your thigh gripping it with his rough hand and you felt tears blurry your eyes but you blinked them away and recognized the man as the some one from earlier. you tried to push him away but he was much stronger than you and kept you trapped in between him and the wall.

"oh shh don't cry" his hand left your thigh and moved the hair from your eyes "please don't cry honey" as his hand left your face and went to reach in his back pocket to get something, you took some as your opportunity and kneed him in the stomach, his hand was free from your face and you so you screamed so loud yelling Sebastian's name.

"you fucking bitch!" The man yelled out and slapped you hard across the face sending you backwards. he grabbed onto your arms and slammed you hard into the wall, you screamed out in pain as he shoved your head in the wall "why did you fucking do that, you fucking bitch!" He let go of you, but all you could do was hopelessly slid down the wall your vision blurry and head pounding with pain causing you to put your hand behind your head and hissing when realized your head was bleeding.

as you sat there the man only saw this as an opportunity and stood above you, gripping onto your cheeks harshly while he raised his hand and slapped you again across the face, causing you to black out and black in, as he went to raise his hand again you heard loud shouts and somebody grabbing onto your body and pulling you into their embrace.

as you regained conscious and could see things, you saw Sebastian standing over the man and punching him over and over until the man's face was bleeding and he couldn't fight back, Sebastian didn't stop tho, he continued on hitting him until somebody eventually pulled him off "let fucking go of me" Sebastian screamed at the person who held him back and broke away from their holding and ran over to the man who laid hopelessly on the floor, he got on top of the man and started punching him repeatedly not stopping until the man passed out.

"s-Sebastian ow fuck" you tried to yell but it only came out as a whisper, "Sebastian!" You yelled this time and held onto your head the pain increasing by the minute. everything suddenly went quiet and all you could hear was the harsh breathing from Sebastian, you whined in pain as somebody put a wet paper towel on your head trying to stop the bleeding.

"fuck kid" Sebastian ran over to you while pushing the employee who held the wet paper to your head away from you and pulled you his chest his using his whole body as a shield as he hugged you. "i-i can't see, it's all blurry" you cried out in his chest, Sebastian lifted your head up from his chest and took a look at your face "shit you're bleeding" the employee who stood beside him handed him more paper towels, while the other one watched the man on the floor and called the cops.

"h-he touched me" you cried out, Sebastian dropped his hand from your head and looked at you "he fucking what" Sebastian went to stand up but you grabbed onto his arm to stop him and pulled him back down to your level. he fought against your strong hold on his arm trying to get loose to go and beat the man up again, but you didn't let go and so he gave up and just pulled you back into his embrace.

five minutes went and Sebastian still didn't let you go even as the cops and ambulance arrived. as the cops handcuffed the man, the paramedics bought you to the car and settled you on the bed in the back getting ready to take to the hospital

"where is Sebastian" you asked the lady beside you, your vision slowly coming back. "He's coming sweetheart" as soon as she answered you Sebastian hopped in the back of the ambulance with you and immediately grabbed onto your hand.

"I'm right here kid" Sebastian gave your hand a light squeeze "I'm scared" you told him as you still couldn't see much and all you practically saw was all blurriness. "You'll be fine don't worry" he resumed you.

"please stay with me"

"shh I'm staying here don't worry"

a/n: I hate the ending I'm sorry, I can't write endings for the life of me. anyways I'm sorry that this is literally all over the place and I know I say this a lot, but I wrote this late again and so I kinda rushed it because this has been sitting in my drafts for days, so I'm very sorry if it's sloppy. On another note Lewis fic should be coming out soon!

[ro-is-struggling]

omg didn’t realize you wrote for billy ????

could i get maybe some headcanons abt billy x fem!drama queen!reader

like reader literally takes drama class and is just really over dramatic 🫶🫶

omg my first billy request! i loved writing this one but i don't know much about drama bc it's not my thing so sorry if it's not wha you expected! also this is my first time writing headcanons

Billy Hargrove x Drama queen!reader headcanons

Okay so I feel like Billy would pretend to hate your over dramatic personality, rolling his eyes when you were "being annoying" and playfully making fun of your drama classes

Like I can see him making snarky remarks whenever he comes to pick you up from class in his car

Or when he offers to drive you there, making fun of the "weirdos" that are your classmates 

But it's all a bunch of bullshit

Because yes, maybe you are a little too much in touch with your feelings 

And yes maybe he doesn't know how to handle that

But that's part of the fun

You two are so different

Your relationship shouldn't work like at all

But he loves the challenge

And even if he acts like he doesn't, he loves what you and your loud and bubbly personality bring out in him

And he LOVES going to see you perform

Like he feels so proud of you when he sees you on stage that his heart hurts

He never tells you that though

He's not good at verbally expressing his feelings

And he feels kinda awkward

So he always hides his compliments in jokes about how bored he was

You know he doesn't mean it

You can see the sparkle of love in his eyes and that's all you need to know what he really thinks

So you play along to his jokes and you laugh together

Overall you guys are so cute

One of those weirdly wholesome couples that look like shouldn't be together but it's adorable that you are

And yes you get into his nerves a lot

Your over dramatic self is always fixated on something

And sometimes it drives Billy mad

But then he just looks you in the eyes and he remembers how much he loves you

And just like that everything is forgotten

[assortedvillainvault]

Hello! Would you please select at least two villains of your choice and then please explain how they would flirt with the reader? Thank you for your time!

Hello! Thank you for dropping by, hope you don't mind but as you asked for my choice it's about to get NICHE up in here:

Pitch Black (Rise of the Giardians) x Reader:

This Dramatic Ass HOE

Ok there is no two ways about it Pitch is creepy, it's kind of who he is, it's his job, he doesn't know how else to be ok??

First he's going to Observe, so I hope you like the feeling of being watched becuase now it's Happening.

Then he's going to wait until you're alone (Pitch istg this is why no-one wants to hang out with you) and attempt to speak with you from the shadows

Good god I hope you're a spirit so you at least have a starightforwrd explanation about the 7 ft weirdo in the tights attempting to compliment your hair, and not some poor human wondering if they're developing schizophrenia

ONCE WE ARE PAST THE DOUBT Pitch becomes a lot smoother once he's semi-sure you're not going to run away. He can let his act/guard down a little and let some of his true personality shine through

He's a dork who dances, cracks puns and knows all his nightmare steeds by name, he likes bugs and the dark and scary movies, and his enthusiasm is infectious

He's also old as balls, has seen some shit, and would be delighted if you asked him about the things he's seen. Man loves to monologue, but also to instruct and entertain, and to see you so earnestly paying attention is going to make him giddy to the tips of his hair.

Physical contact is where he gets Serious, once the hand kisses come into play it is over for the both of you, he is officially Down Bad.

Vulgrim (Darksiders) x Reader:

"Surely you can't blame me for taking pleasure in the presence of my most...valued customer."

Vulgrim is a merchant of dubious reputation and even more dubious interests, he's also tight fisted as a clam and internally at war with himself.

I HC him as a gift giver in terms of love language (once we get through the 400 year slow burn of accepting his feelings), he's been a merchant for millenia so a huge part of his self image is that he provides things no-one else can or is willing to provide, but this goes right up against his urge to get as much money as possible Y/N this is Valuable Merchandise-

He's genrally also silver tongued and very observant. Man's going to be throwing military grade compliments as soon as he's sure you're alone, which is uh, disconcerting at first.

Once we have laid the ground rules of no kinapping, no attempting to steal or bargain for your soul and no on-the-job dates, Vulgrim is actually surprisingly touchy. Nothing technically inappropriate but those claws are all over your shoulders and back and yes yes you are blushing, thank you Vulgrim that was lovely of you to point out you dick-

He's also just. Wonderfully pleased to be the more powerful entity in this relationship (assuming you're human). The other realms are full of muscle bound beefcakes that dwarf him in width, his skinny arms cannot compete. Compared to a human average height he's 14ft and climbing, which is a lovely change of pace.

He can be flustered by many things. His flirting only works if he moves first: give him a genuine gift, visit him for quality time and initiate affection and he will melt into a confused, flustered, but certainly not unhappy pile of demon.