#house md kutner

[fullmetal-angelgrace]

KUTNER?!?? WHAT THE FUCK

[househrt]

house in 2024

House installs 24/7 tracking apps on Wilson's phone. In return, Wilson books Ubers to take his phone and drive to various nefarious locations, sit there for half an hour, then come back home

Similarly, Wilson gets a smartwatch that monitors his heart rate. House gets updates sent to his phone and calls Wilson whenever his heart rate increases by more than 20 bpm to try and interrupt him jerking off

Kutner writes fanfic and replies to almost every comment he gets. His author's notes are full of things like "sorry this chapter is late, I accidentally gave myself a concussion trying to save a patient's life"

House posts on the Am I The Asshole subreddit but gets annoyed at everything thinking he's the asshole so he immediately deletes his account and pretends it never existed

Cuddy spends an hour of her day responding to the hospital's negative google reviews about "that rude doctor with the cane"

A young patient of Wilson's convinces him to be in a TikTok they're making, and he doesn't really know what that is but he agrees and ends up going semi-viral

Chase is secretly seething with jealousy over Wilson's accidental TikTok success, because Chase has been making thirst-trap videos in his scrubs for months with barely any views (it's because he's trying way too hard)

Thirteen gets really into Drag Race/the local drag scene and accidentally introduces House to gay slang, which he instantly adopts

[stampgwifeyera]

i want to take this moment to appreciate the way that the actors say their lines in such comedic ways

[dailyhouse]

[desire-mona]

house in 2024 bc i see ppl post this

- chase makes "lol americans experience gun violence" jokes

- cameron engages in online discourse and starts a lot of arguments with "as a doctor..."

- foreman uses 4chan but just to sit in shock at the things he sees on there

- house is a mod and frequent poster on r/newjersey of all things. only wilson knows, not because house keeps it a secret, but because its so weirdly out of character that nobody would ever bring it up

- wilson sends reels of edgy standup comedians to house on instagram

- cuddy frequents gentle parenting forums, occasionally uses tactics on house

- taub used to run a food review channel on youtube but stopped when people called his videos "mukbangs"

- thirteen introduces herself with her name and pronouns, everyone makes a joke about this at least once

- kutner is a hamilton fan

[9puppiesdrowninginapool]

[sarahwatchesthings]

[chicafinal]

house md 2023 and the team has to treat a true crime podcaster. house starts a betting pool saying he can solve the patients case AND the cold case the podcaster was recording before falling ill. cameron questions the morality of making entertainment out of other people's suffering. wilson bets against house. chase tells foreman and cameron that they should start their own podcast about their weekly cases

[houseswife]

people who aren’t in the house md fandom assume that the batshit craziness of these plotlines starts and ends with the old man yaoi and the malpractice. you all think you understand? [grabs you by the face] listen to me closely. these patients specifically seek out house because he’s known as the capital-G God of diagnostics. on MULTIPLE occasions someone has come in with seizures, coughing up blood, in multi-system organ failure and the team is like “it says here in the chart that you’ve had sex before?… yeah so we have concluded that ur allergic to cum :/ sorry.” and then are genuinely shocked when their treatment of “no more taking big fat loads from peanis” doesn’t reverse sepsis. this is a medical drama. about medical mysteries

[yikesattackpenicillin]

Kutner: being one of the best characters on House and being oh so silly and everyone loves him, nothing could and should go wrong, we love Kutner

Obama:

[freakyalex990]

Tht p*ssy belongs to me 👅

[househrt]

[fireguardianblog]

"You drugged him again? Seriously?"

"He was tired but couldn't fall asleep, I gave him a hand"

"Yeah, bullshit"

"Fine, he wouldn't shut up about the bet he won. I had a headache"

[ozymandiasdirge]

funniest thing about house md is that house has like every flavor of trauma responses and is cut deep by shit so much in his life that he in fact creates new ones. except over getting shot. like someone literallly walked in and shot him twice trying to kill him. and then he never brings it up again after it happens. not like he’s burying it and repressing. like it straight up did not phase him and he went right back to ruining patients lives afterwards. king.

[transgendrine]

can't get over how he looks here. Kutner i like you so much

[wilson-lover]

House MD characters as things me and my friends have said

I could make so many more of these