#hosting company affects
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wander-wren · 7 months ago
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sad that people are talking about “alternatives to NaNo” (as in alternative challenges, not alternative websites/trackers/etc) when like…why?
if you are personally uncomfortable with taking part in NaNoWriMo, as in, the 50k words in a month challenge, that is FINE and very understandable. to each their own. but personally i don’t see why we (writers, as a broad community) should let NaNo the Company steal an entire challenge. it’s so bleak to me. maybe because i never spent much time on the site after my first year, pretty much just sporadically using the tracker or looking something up in the forums, but NaNo to me was never the company or the website or any of that. it was about my work and my friends and the dopamine rush of doing something kind of insane every year.
i refuse to let NaNoWriMo Dot Org being a shitty, shitty organization take that away from me. i am not going to be pushed into abandoning something that legitimately changed my life, maybe even saved it, just because some corporate entity decided to lay claim to it and run it into the ground. NaNo is mine. it’s ours. that monstrosity of a company does not get to take it to its grave
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aroaceofdiamonds · 9 months ago
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SAG-AFTRA IS STRIKING AGAIN
This time, for video games.
Some key information:
They are striking so all performers will have protection against AI
The struck companies are those signed to the Interactive Media Agreement
The listed companies by SAG-AFTRA include Activision Productions Inc, Blindlight LLC, Disney Character Voices Inc, Electronic Arts Productions Inc, Formosa Interactive LLC, Insomniac Games Inc, Llama Productions LLC, Take 2 Productions Inc, VoiceWorks Productions Inc and WB Games Inc. Though this may not be everyone.
Important things from the FAQ:
Some games from struck companies are non-struck (due to the Collective Bargaining Agreement still being in effect)
Localisations will be affected if covered under the Interactive Localization Agreement
Actors who are part of SAG-AFTRA cannot work for non-union or independent/low-budged productions during the strike unless they are signed to an Interim Interactive Media Agreement, Interim Interactive Localization Agreement or a Tiered-Budget Independent Interactive Media Agreement
Similarly to the previous strike, struck work cannot be promoted. This includes accepting awards for performances in struck games. This does NOT include hosting/performing a skit at an awards show and San Diego Comic Con (the latter due to the close proximity to the calling of the strike)
As implied by the point above, SAG-AFTRA performers cannot partake in panels related to struck games or companies, including finished games produced by struck companies
The best way to check if a game is struck is to use the search tool provided by SAG-AFTRA
Most importantly: You are NOT being asked to stop playing video games, as highlighted in the FAQ for creators and streamers. This does NOT cross the picket line. Though please do talk about the strike and show your solidarity
I expect to see the same amount of support from y'all that we saw in the last strike. Just because it's video games doesn't mean performers deserve any less support and protection.
Also please reblog with any additions (with sources - we are NOT here to spread misinformation)! And please correct me if anything listed here is incorrect.
SOURCES:
Video Game Strike FAQs | SAG-AFTRA (sagaftra.org)
SAG-AFTRA Members Who Work on Video Games Go on Strike | SAG-AFTRA (sagaftra.org)
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folkwhoreberry · 1 month ago
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Hiii!!!! Can you do a Charles Leclerc x reader fic maybe during F1 75 Charles and reader who’s maybe a public figure were sitting at the same table. Either as a wag or ambassador (or both?) and when the host (i forgot his name) makes that joke about his fiancée and him thinking about Charles when they’re together but what if instead of him saying he thinks about Charles, he says he thinks about reader and Charles does something about it?
Not really sure about this but I’m interested in however you’d write it if you do!
Get Your Hands Off My Woman
charles leclerc x reader
or... the one where everyone had to keep their eyes off you
word count : 812
warning : jealous charles, prick jack, english is not my first language!!!
on the radio : miss possesive by tate mcrae
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🍹🎹
sitting at the f1 75 gala, you’re trying your best to keep a low profile, though it’s proving difficult given the company at your table. between the bright lights of the cameras and the chatter of the other guests, you’re grateful to be here as a plus one, supporting charles, rather than for your own public persona. you glance at him beside you, the corners of his mouth lifting into a soft smile when he notices you looking. his hand rests on your knee under the table, a small gesture of affection that helps ground you in the chaos.
the night has been flowing smoothly, until jack whitehall, the evening’s host, takes the stage. his jokes have been light and funny so far, poking fun at drivers and their teams, and everyone is enjoying themselves. but then, jack’s attention shifts toward your table, and a mischievous smile creeps onto his face.
“ah, the beautiful people,” jack begins, eyes flicking over you and charles. “and speaking of beauty, charles, mate, you’re one of the lucky ones, aren’t you?”
charles laughs softly, though you notice a slight shift in his posture, his grip tightening ever so slightly on your knee. you smile politely, trying to prepare yourself for whatever jack might say next.
“but I have to be honest, every time my fiancée and I are, you know, in bed, I can’t help but think about someone else. someone much, much better looking.”
the crowd titters with laughter, charles raises an eyebrow, and you feel your cheeks flush. surely he’s not going where you think he is.
“yeah, charles,” jack continues, smirking, “I’m talking about your girl.”
the room bursts into laughter, but all you can hear is the ringing in your ears. you tense up, unsure whether to laugh it off or let your irritation show. charles’ jaw tightens next to you, his hand now gripping your knee firmly, a sign that he’s not as amused as everyone else seems to be.
jack is still laughing when charles shifts beside you, and before you know it, he’s standing up, speaking into the microphone that’s connected to the camera which is filing his reaction closely.
“you know,” charles says, his voice calm but firm, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about her like that.”
the room falls quiet almost instantly, the air thick with tension. your heart is racing now, the attention of the entire room shifting toward your table. you glance at charles, surprised but touched by his protective tone.
jack stammers, clearly caught off guard. “oh, uh, no harm meant, mate. just a joke.”
“I understand,” charles replies, still composed, though there’s an edge to his voice now, “but she’s not part of the joke.”
there’s an awkward pause as the tension lingers in the room, and you can feel eyes on you from all directions. but charles doesn’t back down, his hand still resting protectively on your knee, thumb stroking gently now as if to reassure you.
jack tries to recover, offering a sheepish grin. “right, right. my bad, my bad. lovely couple, by the way. very jealous.”
the crowd chuckles, the atmosphere starting to ease back into something more relaxed, though you can still feel the weight of the moment pressing down on you. you glance at charles, and he gives you a small smile, his eyes softening as they meet yours.
when the attention finally shifts away from your table, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. charles leans in closer, his lips brushing your ear as he murmurs, “are you okay?”
you nod, though you can’t help but feel a little flustered by the whole exchange. “yeah,” you whisper back, “I’m fine.”
charles’ fingers gently squeeze your knee, his expression still serious as he looks at you. “I don’t like when people talk about you like that.”
“I know,” you say softly, touched by his protectiveness, “but you didn’t have to say anything.”
“of course I did,” he replies, his voice low but firm. “you deserve respect.”
his words send a warmth spreading through your chest, and you feel yourself relax a little, leaning into his side. he presses a soft kiss to your temple, the gesture both sweet and reassuring.
“thank you,” you murmur, resting your hand on his thigh under the table.
he doesn’t say anything, but the way he looks at you, the way his hand remains steady and comforting on your knee, says enough. he may be a world-class driver, someone who thrives under pressure on the track, but moments like this remind you just how deeply he cares - about you, about protecting you, even from a simple joke.
as the night continues, the buzz of conversation and laughter resumes around you, but in the quiet space between you and charles, everything feels just a little bit lighter.
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© all rights reserved to folkwhoreberry. no stealing or copying will be tolerated.
a/n : jack whitehall slander is slandering and I’m HERE for it. proud hater since he made that joke about one direction in f1 75!!!
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I am so so curious about the structure of how Game Changer is put together. I mean, so much of this episode relied on "surprising" Sam, but he's the producer of the show. He had to okay the costs involved and presumably know which people from outside the company were gonna be on set. They had a bouncy castle in the parking lot. They brought the pig in a hat back. You could pull the whole "trap him for an hour with a kink therapist" thing on, say, Grant O'Brien, but Sam controls the structure and pacing of the episode. Was he forewarned days in advance and given a chance to script those scenes? Or did they have to be like "okay everyone, we're wrapping for most of you and Sam and the therapist need to hang around for like an hour to figure out what footage we need of this sudden new addition to edit into an episode?" I have zero interest in tv production normally but I am so so curious about what they actually did here. There's a limit to how much you can surprise the show host/producer/company CEO without potentially fucking up the production, but I also don't think the entire surprise aspect of every twist on the show was faked. I want to know if Vic cleared the podium destruction with Sam directly or if that was handled entirely with other staff (I'm sure that building a new podium is a tiny expense but it has the potential to affect continuity in the final edit). Sam looked genuinely surprised at the violations of his home but he clearly knew what and where the video transitions were so he must have seen SOME of the videos in advance. How long has Lou's car been joker themed; it can't have been that long or it'd be public knowledge. I am so curious about this show.
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mylovesstuffs · 2 months ago
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OT13 almost out their relationship because they're just that whipped
Request: SVT being so whipped for their partner they almost outed their relationship.
A/N: It's kinda like a “oh no, did I just say/do that?!” moments for me lmao. Also, I used, “They/Them” here but let's just say they used a gender specific pronoun which kinda led them to fuck up even more...Also it low-key gives seoksoo, verkwan and junhao ship vibes TT
Seungcheol – Slipping Up in an Interview
He’s always been careful, okay? But today his is brain is not cooperating. During an interview, the members are joking about ideal types when the host asks, “What’s something you find irresistible in a person?” Without thinking, Seungcheol blurts, “When they pout because they want my attention.” The members snap their heads toward him. Joshua is choking on his drink. Vernon whispers "bro..." under his breath. Seungcheol realizes his mistake immediately, his ears turning red. He forces a laugh, “I mean—uh, you know, in a general sense. Hypothetically. Right?” His nervous chuckle does nothing to save him.
Jeonghan – Too Obvious with Fanservice
Jeonghan thinks he’s a genius at keeping secrets, but in reality he’s just so obvious. He always tells the fans he loves them, but somehow, every time he says “I love you,” his gaze instinctively flickers toward you in the audience. And then—he winks. Winks. At you. In the middle of a concert. Minghao nudges him, “Dude.” Seungkwan is facepalming. The fans start speculating immediately, and Jeonghan just sips his water like he didn’t almost out himself in 4K.
Joshua – The Accidental Instagram Clue
Joshua, being the aesthetic king he is, posts a random normal picture of his coffee and watch, thinking nothing of it. But what he does not realize is that the reflection in the spoon shows someone sitting across from him—you. Within minutes, fans are zooming in, analyzing every pixel. “WHO IS THIS?!!” Trends worldwide. The members tease him in the group chat, sending screenshots. Joshua just sighs, running a hand through his hair, muttering, Man, I really played myself.
LET IDOLS DATE FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Jun – Forgetting to Hide His Affection
Jun is always affectionate, he doesn’t even realize when he’s being obvious. So, when he spots you struggling to carry something backstage, he automatically takes it from your hands, in front of staff and half the members. The moment he does, everyone stares. Hoshi gasps. Jun blinks, realizing what he’s done. “Ah... I mean, uh, I do this for everyone?” He’s lying and no one believes him.
Hoshi – Screaming Your Name...by Accident
His emotions can get the best of him. One day during soundcheck, he’s hyping up the members. “YAH, LET’S GO! SEUNGKWAN, NICE! MINGYU, POWERFUL! BABY, YOU’RE—” silence. The stadium freezes. The members turn slowly. “Hosh...” Hoshi goes silent. His soul leaves his body. Then, suddenly, he yells, “AHHHH, CARATS MY BABY!!” He starts running laps around the stage to avoid any eye contact.
Wonwoo – Too Many Inside Jokes
Wonwoo is subtle, but his inside jokes are not so much. One time, on a livestream, he casually laughs and says, “That reminds me of something my par—” he stops. The chat explodes. “Your what, Wonwoo?” His expression is stone-cold, but his ears are bright red. He quickly changes the topic, but the damage is done. The speculations begin. And his company starts doing overtime hours.
Woozi – Forgetting You’re Not a Member
Woozi keeps things private, but his muscle memory betrays him. One day, while walking to a schedule, he naturally reaches out to grab your hand... in public. Minghao, walking beside him, subtly smacks his arm, whispering, “Hyung, no.” Woozi yanks his hand back like he touched fire, clearing his throat. “I, uh, thought it was one of you.” Carats does NOT believe him.
Dokyeom – Too Excited to Hide It
Dokyeom wears his heart on his sleeve. During a live, a fan asks about his ideal type. “Ahhh, someone who has a cute laugh, loves music, and—oh! And they have this habit where they scrunch their nose when they’re—” he freezes. The members stare. Seungkwan says, “You mean… like Shua?” to keep things in control as much as possible but Kyeom malfunctions. He screeches and ends the live immediately and that makes things even more worse ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ
Mingyu – Blurting It Out in Pure Panic
On a variety show, they’re playing a lie detector game. When asked if he has a crush, he confidently says “No.” BZZZT. Everyone erupts. Seungcheol, already enjoying this too much, asks, “So, who is it?” thinking he's comedian enough to make it funny but Mingyu in sheer panic, blurts your name. He outed himself. Pls—my man outed himself. The entire cast screams. Seungkwan falls off his chair. Mingyu is horrified. He buries his face in his hands, mumbling, Can I restart my life? He fr wants to restart his life.
Minghao – Slipping Up in Chinese
Minghao is careful...but his first language betrays him. In a Mandarin interview, he randomly mentions, “Oh, yeah, my baobei likes that too.” The moment the words leave his mouth, he stiffens. The interviewer raises an eyebrow. The members are staring especially Jun. He quickly clears his throat, “Ah, I meant—um—Carats. Our fans are all my baobei.” No one buys it. Not for a second.
Seungkwan – Talking About You Like It’s Normal
Seungkwan rants about you way too much without realizing it. In an live interview, he says, “Yeah, Y/N always says that—” stops. His eyes widen. He claps his hand over his mouth. The cast erupt with laughter. Seungkwan tries to run. He fails. Now, he has to spend the next five minutes convincing the camera, "No, no, no, you misheard! I meant my mom!"
Vernon – Forgetting the Camera is On
Vernon is way too comfortable on live. One time, he’s scrolling through his phone, half-paying attention, when he accidentally clicks on a message from you. It pops up for a split second. The chat explodes. The members who are also watching, start spamming his phone. He doesn’t even notice until Seungkwan texts, “END THE LIVE RIGHT NOW.” Cue Vernon panicking, fumbling with his phone, and mumbling, Oops, my bad.
Dino – Being Too Obvious About "Their Type"
Dino gets asked about his ideal type on a show. Trying to be subtle, he says, “Ah, someone funny, kind, and… um, someone who’s really supportive during my practice.” The members exchange looks. “So... like...?” The host asks since he's already too obvious and specific about certain someone. His brain shuts down when he realises. He stares at the camera like a deer in headlights. Then, he nervously laughs, “Hahaha... no, no, I mean, like… in general… not specific at all…” He fails miserably.
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seongwars · 16 days ago
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Romancing Doctor Zayne ⟡ Part 1
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Pairing: non-mc!matchmaker x zayne Genre: Regency era! Idiots to lovers. Fluff, humor, a dash of angst. MC/non-MC appears as your older sister, Sylus is your brother-in-law Summary: Dr. Zayne Li is a brilliant physician who's completely useless in social settings. You're one of Linkon's most sought after matchmakers tasked with finding his perfect match. What could go wrong when feelings get involved? Word Count: 11K--there will be a part 2!
a/n: it's finally here! this took me forever to write and i'm not quite done with my hiatus yet but because pride & prejudice is on netflix it inspired me to finish the first part of this fic.
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You had never intended to be a matchmaker.
It had all started, rather embarrassingly, with a misplaced observation at Lady Talia’s estate last year. She had been hosting one of her elaborate afternoon teas and the conversation was just lively enough to make up for the lackluster company. Amid polite chatter, you had offhandedly remarked that Mr. Gideon seemed far more open and talkative when seated next to your dear friend, Simone.
Within a month, Gideon was calling on Simone with great enthusiasm, and not long after, they were formally courting. You had thought it a happy coincidence—until the morning after their engagement was announced, when Simone's parents arrived at your doorstep unannounced, beaming as though you had single-handedly saved their daughter from ruin.
“Oh, Y/N, we cannot thank you enough!” Her mother had gushed, clasping your hands between her gloved ones. 
“If not for you, dear Simone might have—” She had stopped short, as if only then realizing who exactly she was speaking to.
“Might have what, my lady?” you inquired, tilting your head. 
“Nothing, nothing. Just that we are so grateful for your keen insight. What a gift you have!”
Indeed. A gift you hadn’t fully appreciated until it happened again.
Dr. Greyson and Tara, brought together after you casually noted how often he seemed to linger near her at social gatherings. Then Lord Jeremiah and Miss Yvonne, whose mutual affection had gone unnoticed by everyone but you. 
At first, you had brushed these successes off as coincidence, but when grateful families began inquiring about the monetary aspect of your services, you realized there was something to be made of this.
A spinster you may be, but you were a spinster with a talent.
Your family, of course, had their opinions. Your parents were entirely unimpressed by your newfound profession, scoffing at the irony of a spinster making a career out of love matches.
“You spend your time making matches for others, but what of your own?” your mother had asked.
Without missing a beat, you had taken a sip of your tea and replied, “Well, Mother, some of us prefer to keep our hearts and bank accounts intact.”
Your father had choked on his biscuit.
Your elder sister, on the other hand, had been much more supportive, though that may have had something to do with the fact that you'd been the one to nudge her in the direction of Mr. Sylus Qin, after nearly three years of will-they-won't-they nonsense. After a number of twists, turns, and misunderstandings, the two had finally married.
“Caleb! Oh, how good to see you!” your mother exclaimed, beaming as she welcomed your ever-cheerful neighbor into your home.
It wasn’t even noon yet.
Your father made a disgruntled noise behind his newspaper, turning a page with more force than necessary. You, still nursing your first cup of tea, resisted the urge to groan into it.
Caleb Xia was a morning person. Not just any morning person, but the sort who greeted the dawn with unbridled enthusiasm, who had probably already been up for hours tending to business and charming the entire ton before you had even considered leaving your bed.
It was unnatural. Even more unnatural was your mother’s relentless meddling in attempting to match you with Mr. Xia. But you had always known he was destined to be an eternal bachelor—especially after having his heart broken when your sister married Sylus.
“Mrs. Hunter,” Caleb greeted warmly. “Always a pleasure. The garden is looking rather lovely this time of year.”
Your mother preened at the compliment, as she always did. “Oh, you are simply too kind, dear.”
“Yes, entirely too kind,” you muttered into your teacup, earning a sharp look from your mother. 
“Speaking of kindness,” Caleb took the seat across from you, helping himself to a scone from the spread as if he lived here. Which, frankly, he might as well have, given how often he turned up unannounced.
“I seek your wisdom.”
You took a slow sip of tea, eyeing him warily. “It will cost you.”
“Miss Hunter, this isn’t just any work,” he countered, helping himself to another scone. 
“This is an opportunity.”
You frowned. “Opportunity for whom?”
“For you, of course. And my dear friend, Dr. Zayne Li.”
You hummed, pretending to consider, but the moment he said doctor, the glint of profit flashed before your eyes. Doctors were wealthy. They tended to be responsible, successful, and, most importantly, willing to pay handsomely for assistance in re-entering society.
“Go on.”
Caleb’s grin widened. “He’s a brilliant physician from Bloomshore. Kind, respectable, completely useless in social settings. If left alone, he’ll probably marry his medical books.” He pointed his butter knife at you. 
“I thought, who better to guide him to the perfect match than you?”
“Does Dr. Li know you’re putting him up to this?”
“No. But! He will be grateful once he realizes what a fine service you’re providing.”
A doctor seeking to marry? That was a premium case, easily worth double your usual rate. Perhaps even triple, if Caleb’s assessment of his abysmal social skills proved accurate. You could already envision the eager mamas flocking to you, desperate to have their daughters matched with the elusive doctor.
“When is he expected in Linkon?”
“Next week.” 
“Well then, it seems I have my work cut out for me. Tell the doctor that if there’s a match to be made, I shall find it.”
Dr. Zayne Li arrived in Linkon under blue skies.
Medicine had carried him through countless towns and estates, but social calls had never been his strength. He preferred his work, things that could be studied, measured and understood. People, however, were another matter entirely.
He exhaled, scanning the streets of Linkon with a creeping sense of weariness. The city was far livelier than Bloomshore, larger, louder, closing in from all sides with a restless energy that threatened to drain him.
“There you are,” Caleb greeted him with outstretched arms. “A little road-worn, but none the worse for wear.”
“I would have been content to arrive without an audience,” Zayne remarked dryly, brushing a bit of dust from his sleeve.
“Ah, but then I wouldn’t have the pleasure of informing you of your first obligation.”
“And what would that be?” he asked, already suspecting he would not like the answer.
Caleb’s grin widened. “A ball.”
“I’m not interested.”
“W-Wait!” Caleb caught his arm as he turned to leave.
“At least hear me out.”
“There’s nothing to hear. I do not dance nor do I have any desire to engage in frivolous social gatherings.”
"W-Well, that’s where you’ll meet my friend,” he said, clearing his throat. “Suffering from, uh, spinsterism.”
Perhaps referring to you as a "dear friend suffering from the dreadful affliction of spinsterism" had not been his finest moment. But in his defense, he had been desperate to convince Zayne to come to Linkon and cooperate. And now, thanks to his own loose tongue, he was stuck in an ever deepening pit of his own making.
Zayne straightened, suddenly intrigued by Caleb’s words. “I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered such a condition in my studies. Is it a chronic affliction or an acute one?”
Caleb blinked. “Uh—”
“The symptoms,” Zayne continued, eyes narrowing in curiosity. “Are they progressive? Does it worsen with age?”
“Well—”
“Has it been observed in married women, or is it exclusive to the unmarried? What are the physiological manifestations? Fatigue? Nervous palpitations?”
“Definitely some nervous palpitations.”
Zayne hummed, already lost in thought. “Fascinating. And what treatments have been attempted? Dietary changes? Bloodletting? Surely, if it’s as prevalent as you claim, there must be documented studies on the matter.”
“You’d be the first, Dr. Zayne,” Caleb coughed. He clapped the doctor on the back and steered him forward. 
“Come now, we must make haste. We wouldn’t want your patient to waste away before you can examine her.”
Zayne’s brows furrowed in concentration as he trailed behind Caleb, his mind fully engaged in the absurdity of his own making. 
“I must get my hands on these studies at once. I assume the condition is more prevalent in certain social classes?”
“Oh, definitely.” Caleb was fully committed to the bit now. “Particularly among well-bred young ladies past the age of five and twenty.”
Zayne muttered something about early onset cases and socioeconomic correlations as he strode ahead, completely unaware that he was the subject of Caleb’s greatest prank to date.
You stood near the entrance of the estate, offering polite curtsies to members of your family’s social circle, clients former and current as they arrived. The evening was lively, brimming with the chatter of Linkon’s elite. Yet, despite the spectacle, your thoughts were preoccupied with one particular arrival: the esteemed Dr. Zayne Li, whom Caleb had all but pleaded you to take under your wing.
You had wondered what he might be like.
Caleb had described a man of great intellect, one of the finest medical minds of his generation. A physician of both discipline and skill, a most promising acquaintance, Caleb had assured you. But dreadfully lacking in social graces.
At last, you spotted them. Caleb, striding forward beside him, a tall, serious looking man with green eyes that flickered across the crowd like he was searching for the nearest exit.
“Ah, there she is!” Caleb declared, far too loudly. 
“Dr. Zayne, may I present my dear friend, Miss Y/N Hunter. The very picture of grace and resilience in the face of her most unfortunate affliction.”
You shot Caleb a look that promised retribution before turning to his companion with a stiff smile. 
“Dr. Zayne, it’s a pleasure.”
The doctor studied you with an assessing gaze, his brow slightly furrowed. “You appear…surprisingly healthy.”
You blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“For someone afflicted with spinsterism,” he clarified, tilting his head, as though he were trying to reconcile your appearance with a dreadful prognosis. 
“No pallor, no visible signs of deterioration…”
Your smile froze. Slowly, deliberately, you turned back to Caleb.
“Excuse us, Doctor,” you said, voice dripping with sweetness. 
Without waiting for his response, you yanked Caleb behind a nearby pillar, making sure to drag him just far enough away so Zayne couldn’t hear the imminent disaster that was about to unfold.
“What,” you hissed, “did you tell him?”
Caleb held up his hands. “Now, before you get upset—”
“Caleb!” 
“I may have slightly misled him into believing spinsterism a medical condition.”
You stared at him in disbelief. “A medical condition?”
“In my defense, he took the idea and ran with it before I could clarify.”
“You implied I was wasting away, didn’t you?”
“…Only a little?”
“I am going to strangle you!” you seethed, hitting him across the arm with your fan.
You straightened yourself, taking a deep breath to regain your composure. You couldn’t stay mad at Caleb forever—well, you could, but for now, there was a much more pressing matter.  With one final glare you turned on your heel and made your way back to where Zayne stood.
“Doctor,” you began, smoothing your expression into something far more pleasant, “I do apologize for the interruption.” 
You shot Caleb a sharp look before turning your full attention back to the doctor. 
“I assure you, I am quite well, despite the rather imaginative condition Mr. Xia has misdiagnosed me with.”
Zayne blinked, still processing what had just happened. "I...see. No harm done, I hope."
“None whatsoever! Well, Doctor,” you said, lips curving into a smile, “I shall consider it my duty to make your suffering more bearable.”
“That is very generous of you, Miss Hunter.”
Without hesitation, he held out his arm in polite invitation. You gladly accepted, letting your gloved fingers rest lightly against the fabric of his sleeve as you entered the ballroom. 
As you wove through the ton, you let your gaze drift over the gathered company, taking careful note of the ladies in attendance. You had done this many times before, matchmaking for friends and acquaintances alike, but this particular challenge intrigued you more than most.
Zayne was not entirely socially inept, nor was he entirely withdrawn, but there was a guardedness about him. He would need a particular kind of match; someone patient enough to understand his quiet nature or charismatic enough to pull him effortlessly into conversation.
You stole a glance at him. He had not spoken since entering the room, but his emerald eyes flitted across the ballroom, as if cataloging details in his mind. A man accustomed to observing, rather than being observed.
“Are you always this silent, Doctor?” you asked, tilting your head to study him.
He blinked, as though pulled from his own thoughts. “Only when there is little to say.”
“Observation is a useful skill,” you mused. “As is conversation.”
“A skill I have yet to master, I’m afraid.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Then it is fortunate you have me as your guide.”
“And what, precisely, do you intend to guide me toward?”
You smiled, stepping slightly closer, letting the words linger between you for just a moment. 
“Perhaps, if you believe in destiny, your soulmate. Or rather, a suitable marriage prospect.”
Zayne was not a man who responded to flattery, nor one easily drawn into idle conversation. He should have dismissed the notion outright, as romantic pursuits were a distraction, an indulgence he had never allowed himself due to the nature of his work. But something in your words, and a glint in your eyes, made his pulse stutter briefly.
“You seem far more interested in speaking with me than surveying prospects,” he remarked, with the slightest hint of amusement in his tone.
“I cannot very well find you a match if I do not first understand the man himself.”
He hummed, considering your words. “An admirable approach. Though I wonder…do all your cases earn such dedicated attention?”
“Only the particularly difficult ones.”
Zayne exhaled a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “Then I fear I may be your most challenging case yet.”
Undeterred, you lifted your chin. “I do enjoy a challenge, Doctor.”
And with that, you set about proving it.
Over the course of the evening, you introduced him to a variety of eligible ladies, each one possessing qualities you thought might complement his quiet nature.
Miss Callahan was certainly lovely, though you suspected her boundless energy wore Zayne out with his clipped responses. You could practically see him retreating from her overwhelming energy.
Miss Harper had been your next choice. She was sweet and soft spoken, who seemed more suited for Zayne’s temperament. Yet, as their conversation unfolded, you couldn’t help but notice the way she nervously smoothed her skirts, her gaze darting about as if searching for reassurance.
Then there was Lady Fairchild. Intelligent, poised, and confident. She launched into conversation with ease, but her impatience for hesitation was clear. Not that it mattered, Zayne was already meandering backward, preparing his escape.
It became evident, after a handful of introductions, that Zayne was not easily impressed, or perhaps, not interested at all. No matter the charm of his potential matches, he remained politely distant, maneuvering himself toward the quieter edges of the gathering. You found him there, lingering near the terrace, loosening his cravat. 
“I take it that none of my carefully selected matches have won your favor?” you teased, stepping beside him.
Zayne exhaled, a quiet, almost imperceptible sigh. “They were all… perfectly pleasant.”
“And yet, here you are, standing as far from them as possible.”
“I find prolonged socializing…exhausting. I have never enjoyed being the center of attention.”
Your expression softened. “I suppose I should have considered that before parading you about the ton. My apologies.”
His lips twitched, as if he found something about your words amusing. “You needn’t apologize. I suspect Mr. Xia would have had me subjected to far worse if left to his own devices.”
You burst into laughter and Zayne found himself watching you more closely than he should have. There was something undeniably bright and effervescent about you, particularly in the way you laughed so freely. And yet, when you looked at him, it was not with expectation or disappointment, but with understanding.
You had not dismissed his discomfort or insisted he endure it for the sake of social decorum. Instead, you had acknowledged it.
His reluctance to engage with the others had been genuine, but as the evening wore on, he realized his avoidance had not been due to mere disinterest. It was not conversation he minded, it was who he shared it with. 
And somehow, with you, it felt…effortless.
“If I must continue enduring such engagements, I may require more guidance,” he said, leaning in ever so slightly, as if drawing you into a conversation meant only for the two of you.
“Perhaps a bit of gentle coaching?”
“Well, Doctor, if you are willing to put in the effort, I shall gladly offer my expertise.”
Zayne held your gaze a beat longer than necessary, the edges of his lips curling into something almost like a smile. He had never been one for idle conversation, nor for the relentless pursuit of courtship but for you, he found himself willing to make an exception.
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Caleb had seen a great many things in his life, but returning home after a long day at the military post to find Dr. Zayne Li standing stiffly outside your front steps, was quickly becoming his favorite source of entertainment.
And, as expected, in true Caleb fashion, he crashed breakfast the very next morning, making himself comfortable at the table. Without so much as a greeting, he reached for a generous serving of plum cake, tearing off a piece as he shot you a knowing smirk. 
“I have to ask,” he drawled as he approached, “are you tutoring the poor man or have you taken it upon yourself to personally vet his prospects?”
You rolled your eyes. “I am simply assisting Dr. Li in social etiquette.”
“I’ve never seen Zayne take such a keen interest in socializing before,” he mused, reaching for another bite of cake. 
“Strange, don’t you think? He’s always been content with books and yet, here he is, dutifully showing up at your door for lessons.” He propped his chin on his fist, eyes gleaming with mischief. 
“Interesting, isn’t it?”
Across the table, your mother raised an eyebrow at the exchange but wisely chose to remain silent, sipping her tea. 
You ignored Caleb’s relentless teasing, but despite your best efforts, you couldn’t deny that Zayne Li’s presence had become unexpectedly intriguing. What began as mere social lessons had turned into a routine. 
Twice in the past week, he had arrived under the guise of refining his social skills. And yet, more often than not, those so-called lessons seemed to transform into long conversations about literature, contemporary issues, and the absurdity of high society’s unwritten rules.
Zayne sat across from you in the drawing room as your supposed lesson on proper introductions unraveled into yet another conversation, this time about the novel that had taken the ton by storm.
"You mean to tell me," you said, shaking your head with amusement, "that you have never read Snowy Serenity?"
"I was not aware it was required reading," he replied, one brow lifting as he leaned back in his chair.
"Dr. Zayne, how are you ever going to capture the attention of ladies if you do not know Snowy Serenity?" you teased, folding your hands in your lap with an air of mock seriousness.
"I was not aware that my success in courtship depended upon my knowledge of serialized fiction."
You gasped in mock offense. "Serialized fiction?" you echoed. 
"It is only the most talked-about novel of the season! If you wish to hold a lady’s interest for longer than a dance, you must at least feign some familiarity with it!”
"And I suppose you are offering to educate me on the subject?"
"Naturally." You rose, crossing the room to retrieve your well-worn copy from a small stack of books before placing it in his hands.
“Consider this an essential part of your guidance. If you wish to navigate the intricate social landscape, you must be prepared to discuss this novel moment’s notice.”
“And if I fail to read it?”
“Then you shall never know the joys of a thoroughly engaging conversation with any lady of good standing,” you teased, resuming your seat. 
Zayne turned the book over in his hands, his fingers brushing the slightly frayed edges of its cover. It was well-loved, he noted. You had read this more than once. The thought of you lost in its pages, utterly engrossed, made something flicker in his chest.
“If I am to read this,” he said at last, his voice quieter now, “I trust you will be available for…discussion.”
You brightened at the prospect. “Naturally. It is my personal copy, after all. I expect a full report."
He huffed a quiet breath of amusement, shaking his head, but made no effort to refuse the book. As he bid you farewell and descended the steps of your home, a question lingered in his mind, persistent and unresolved.
You were intelligent, well-read, and effortlessly social, qualities that should have made you a sought-after prospect. At seven-and-twenty, you were the same age as him, yet you had not married.
The thought followed him, settling into the quiet corners of his mind.
Why?
“Oh! Doctor Zayne! Before I forget!”
Your voice rang out just as he reached the gate, and Zayne turned to find you rushing past the door, barely able to contain your enthusiasm. You were speaking a mile a minute, laying out your latest plan—the boat races, the ideal setting, the eligible young ladies you were so certain he had to meet.
Zayne stood there listening, but his thoughts had long since drifted from the topic at hand. He wasn’t focused on the event, nor the prospects you were so quick to name.
Instead, his attention was fixed on you.
The way your eyes sparkled when you spoke, so full of life, so passionate about what you believed in. The way your hands fluttered, gesturing animatedly as you painted the picture of the future you were trying to shape for him. And despite your seemingly endless energy, the way you never seemed to tire of trying to help him, trying to guide him toward something you thought he needed, even if he hadn’t asked for it.
But as he watched you, Zayne realized that none of that seemed to matter at that moment. It wasn’t the boat races, nor the eligible ladies, nor the carefully crafted plans that held his attention. 
It was the way you believed in everything you did, the way you believed in him, even when he wasn’t sure he deserved it.
The day of the boat race had arrived, and while the rest of the ton was content to picnic along the riverbanks and observe, you had viewed the event as an excellent opportunity to introduce Zayne to eligible young ladies rather than simply a leisurely afternoon surrounded by the finest families in Linkon society.
It was perfect.
"Now, remember," you began, tapping your fan against your palm as the two of you strolled past clusters of well dressed ladies.
"You may be broody, but only just enough to be intriguing. If you tip too far into outright scowling, they’ll think you despise them rather than merely possessing an air of dark mystery."
Zayne, walking easily beside you, let out a quiet hum, not in protest, but in pure amusement. "And here I thought my mystery was my most appealing quality."
You shot him a knowing look. "It’s positively dreadful for conversation."
"And yet, you seem to enjoy conversing with me just fine," Zayne pointed out.
“I enjoy a great many things, Doctor. You’re simply fortunate to be one of them.”
It was a lighthearted deflection, meant to turn the conversation back in your favor, but the way Zayne’s gaze lingered made your heart stop for a moment.
Ahem. "You must also ask follow up questions," you continued, scanning the gathering until you spotted a promising group of young women beneath a flowery pergola.
"A woman enjoys speaking about herself, but she’ll think you a great bore if you simply grunt and nod. Make an effort, Dr. Zayne. Feign interest, if you must."
“Then shall I practice with you, Miss Hunter?”
“Me?” 
"You seem to have very strong opinions on the matter," he said. "If I were to practice my charm, shouldn’t I know what you find interesting?"
You opened your mouth, but no immediate response came to mind. Again, why was he looking at you like that?
Caleb, who had been chaperoning you a few steps behind, let out an exaggerated groan and threw his hands in the air. 
"Are you even trying to meet anyone else?"
Zayne, still entirely at ease, turned his head slightly, just enough to acknowledge Caleb’s presence. "I am here, am I not?"
You ignored them both, pressing forward toward the pergola, where a small gathering of young women stood in a semicircle, chatting beneath the shade. This was the perfect setting, the perfect opportunity, so why did you feel suddenly, inexplicably unsettled?
And then you saw her.
"Ah, Miss Hunter. What a pleasant surprise."
Your mouth felt dry. "Lady Qi," you greeted, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. Formerly Lady Evelyn Xander. Now Lady Evelyn Qi.
She looked past you, taking in Zayne at your side, then Caleb a few steps behind. 
"Quite the entourage you have today."
Caleb exhaled a dramatic sigh and acknowledged her with an incline of his head. "Lady Qi."
Evelyn let out a soft chuckle before turning back to you. "Are you enjoying the races?"
You tightened your grip on your fan, willing yourself to focus. 
"I can’t quite possibly enjoy the day when there is work to be done," you said lightly, though there was an edge of honesty beneath the jest.
"Ever the dutiful matchmaker, I see.” Evelyn waved a hand gracefully. "My husband was keen on attending, so here I am, though I would much rather be at home away from this dreadful heat."
My husband.
The words were spoken so effortlessly, so naturally, that they should not have affected you at all. And yet, they still served as a reminder of a reality that you could have never had with him. 
"Rafayel always did have a taste for grand occasions,” you replied sweetly.
"That he does," she chuckled, oblivious or perhaps not. Her gaze flickered over you, sharp and assessing, before she turned her attention elsewhere. 
"Oh! But I’m so glad you came when you did, Miss Hunter," she continued smoothly.
"It’s quite the coincidence, really. I heard you’ve been helping a certain doctor navigate Linkon society, and as luck would have it, I happen to know a young lady who is also looking." She turned slightly, gesturing gracefully. 
"May I present to you Miss Diana Carter."
Diana Carter was lovely.
Her dark hair was pulled into an elegant chignon and there was a self-assured grace that suggested she knew exactly how others perceived her but had mastered the art of wielding it to her advantage.
She stepped past you offering Zayne a charming smile. "A pleasure to meet you, Dr. Zayne."
Zayne inclined his head politely, his gaze steady. "Likewise, Miss Carter."
"Diana is a dear friend," Evelyn continued.  
"Well read and quite interested in the medical sciences, if I recall correctly." Her eyes flickered between Zayne and Diana with unmistakable purpose. A perfect match, her expression seemed to say.
"I do believe you both would have much to discuss."
You straightened your shoulders, willing your smile to remain effortless. "Well then," you said lightly, "let’s see just how charming our Doctor can be, shall we?"
Zayne shot you a look, one brow raised as if he found your words amusing, but you ignored it.
“I’ll be off," you said, your voice steady despite the strange unease stirring in your chest. 
"My brother-in-law, Gods bless him, has impulsively decided to partake in the races. I shall see you later, Dr. Zayne—er, Dr. Li.”
You turned before you could second guess yourself, your fan tightening in your grip. The moment you took a step away, Caleb fell into step beside you.
And yet, for some inexplicable reason, the ground beneath you felt unsteady. You swallowed, forcing yourself to breathe evenly. There was no reason, no reason at all, for the uneasiness creeping through your chest, the sudden weight pressing against your ribs.
You had brought Zayne here for this exact purpose. To meet eligible young women. To find someone who suited him. And Miss Diana Carter suited him. She was beautiful, poised, intelligent—exactly the sort of woman who would compliment him in every way. Exactly the sort of woman he should be drawn to.
So why did it feel as if the air had become too thin?
You inhaled sharply, shifting your gaze to the water where the rowers were making their final preparations. The river glistened under the afternoon sun, its gentle ripples at odds with the sudden unease pressing against your ribs. 
“You’re frowning,” your sister pointed out.
"It’s nothing," you said, adjusting your posture. "I’ve just been experiencing tightness due to my corset."
It wasn’t entirely a lie. The stiff boning pressed insistently against your ribs, but that wasn’t what had your chest aching in a way you couldn’t quite place.
Your sister hummed knowingly, but whether she believed you or not was unclear. "I did warn you not to have it laced so tightly."
"It isn't too tight," you argued, even as you shifted uncomfortably.
The starting horn sounded, and the crowd erupted in cheers. Rowers strained their muscles under the sun as they surged forward. A sharp cry rose from the banks as one boat veered too close to another, its occupants scrambling to correct course before they lost precious seconds.
You joined in, clapping along with the rest of them, willing yourself to be swept up in the excitement.
And yet the tightness in your chest remained.
You told yourself it was your corset.
And if you kept telling yourself that, perhaps you would believe it.
The excitement from the boat race buzzed through the air. A few yards away, spectators were still clapping and calling out congratulations as the rowers made their way back onto shore. And at the center of it all, grinning like a man who had defied fate itself, was Sylus.
He stood victorious on the riverbank, drenched from head to toe, his hair plastered to his forehead, and his shirt clinging to him in a way that mortified your sister. From this distance, Zayne could see your family gathered around Sylus, their faces alight with pride and celebration. 
"Dr. Li?"
"My apologies," he said smoothly, forcing his attention back to his companion. "You were saying?"
"Only that I find medicine to be a rather fascinating subject."
"And what is it about medicine that fascinates you, Miss Carter?"
"The intricacies of it, I suppose. How the body is both fragile and resilient all at once. My father has quite the library on the subject. I've read most of his books on anatomy."
Zayne's brow lifted faintly. That was not the sort of answer he had expected.
"You've read on anatomy?"
"Is that so surprising?" Her dark eyes sparkled with amusement.
"Only that most ladies I know would find such books rather...clinical."
"I find them practical. There’s a comfort in understanding how things work, don’t you think?"
Zayne's lips twitched despite himself. Practical. A word he had always valued. A word he had always found reassuring. And yet, her answer did nothing to ease the inexplicable tightness in his chest.
Diana Carter was precisely the kind of woman he ought to be courting. Composed, with a beauty that would have turned heads in any drawing room. If he had met her under different circumstances, he might have genuinely enjoyed this promenade.
Despite his best efforts, his gaze drifted, once again, across the pond, where the soft hum of conversation and laughter floated through the air. He caught a glimpse of you, standing beneath the shade of a willow tree, your fingers absently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It was an unremarkable gesture, one you must have done countless times before, and yet—
He looked away quickly, but not quickly enough.
"You seem distracted, Dr. Li," Diana observed lightly.
Zayne’s gaze snapped back to her, his posture stiffening. For a moment, he was certain she had caught him staring, certain she could see straight through him.
He knew better than to let his attention drift. You had reminded him, more than once that presence mattered, that eye contact and genuine engagement were the keys to making an impression. 
“No one likes a man who appears disinterested, Dr. Zayne. Even if you are brooding, you must at least be brooding with intent.”
"My apologies," he said again, his voice steady. "It’s the heat, I expect."
"Perhaps a respite from the sun is in order, then," she suggested. 
"My mother often hosts small gatherings at our estate. Nothing as grand as this, of course, but I daresay a cup of tea and a shaded veranda would be far more agreeable than enduring this dreadful afternoon heat."
It was an invitation. One that any man with sense would accept.
It wasn’t as if he had any other engagement. It wasn’t as if he had any reason to refuse. This was precisely why he had come today, to meet an eligible young woman, to entertain the very idea of courtship. To prove that he was capable of doing so.
"That is generous of you, Miss Carter," he said at last, his words carefully measured. 
"I would be honored."
Across the pond, you caught sight of Zayne and Diana, promenading at an easy, unhurried pace. The sunlight filtered through the canopy of trees, making the world around them seem otherworldly. They looked comfortable together.
Zayne, walked beside her, listening attentively, and you can tell he was engaging based off of Diana’s reactions. It was everything you had wanted for him, everything you had planned.
A slow breath left your lips. You were proud of this. It was, after all, one of your greatest achievements to date. Hadn’t you orchestrated this from the start? Hadn’t you taken Zayne under your wing, guiding him through Linkon society so he might find a match precisely like Miss Carter?
And perhaps, perhaps you could give Evelyn Qi some credit for her introduction, though you’d rather not.
This was the logical conclusion of all your efforts. The payday was to be immaculate, your reputation as the greatest matchmaker in all of Linkon would spread, and you would graciously accept your accolades with a modest smile. Future generations would tell tales of your legendary ability to pair the most impossible of spinsters. A lifetime of smug satisfaction awaited—
Oh.
Why did it suddenly feel as though the air had been squeezed from your lungs?
The pain had started the moment you stepped away from the pergola. It was irrational and inexplicable, a quiet but insistent ache you couldn't name. You rolled your shoulders, as if the movement might shake off the sensation. It was the weather, surely. The heat. The wretched afternoon sun.
"Are you unwell?" your sister asked, as soon she caught sight of the way your fingers trembled against your bodice.
"Just a touch of discomfort," you reassured her, forcing a steady breath. "It’s nothing serious.”
Still, you could see the doubt in her eyes, the way her lips pressed together in a firm line. You had never been the fragile sort, nor one to complain of ailments without reason.
"There’s no sense in you lingering if you’re not feeling well," your sister said firmly. "I’ll have Sylus fetch the footman and have them bring the carriage around."
You opened your mouth to protest, to insist that you were more than capable of enduring the rest of the afternoon, but the words faltered. The excitement of the boat race suddenly felt distant, like you were standing behind some invisible barrier, watching it unfold rather than being a part of it.
Reluctantly, you nodded, lifting your skirts as you stepped away from the shaded picnic area toward the waiting carriage. With each step, a strange sort of exhaustion settled over you, as if the very act of walking was more effort than it should have been. 
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Zayne sat in the sitting room of the Carter Estate, his fingers resting lightly on the delicate porcelain cup before him. Mrs. Carter, seated across from him, observed him with polite curiosity, her sharp eyes missing nothing.
"It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Dr. Li," she said, stirring a lump of sugar into her tea.
"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Carter. Your home is…exquisite.”
Mrs. Carter hummed, clearly measuring the sincerity of his words.
“Don’t overdo it,” you had instructed. “A well-placed compliment, a touch of charm, but never flattery for flattery’s sake. The moment they sense you’re pandering, you’re done for.”
"I imagine it must be the envy of many,” he continued. 
Mrs. Carter sniffed, clearly pleased. "We do take pride in maintaining a certain standard."
"When in doubt, appeal to their sense of status. Mamas like to believe they’ve built something worth admiring. Recognize that, and they’ll be much more inclined to approve of you."
Mrs. Carter continued, "I understand you have traveled quite a bit. Medicine must keep you rather busy."
"It does," Zayne admitted, setting his cup down. 
"Chansia, in particular, was fascinating—so much to learn from their medical practices. Their use of herbal remedies alongside surgical techniques is something I hope to integrate into—"
He stopped himself just in time.
"Never let them think you are too busy for their daughters," your voice echoed in his mind, teasing yet firm. "A man too devoted to his work is a man who will neglect his wife."
Zayne cleared his throat, smoothly shifting gears. "But I’ve always found time for good company." He glanced at Diana with an easy smile. 
"After all, what is life without moments of leisure?"
Mrs. Carter’s expression softened just a fraction and for a moment, he allowed himself to revel in the small victory.
Then, the door opened.
A footman stepped inside, bowing slightly before addressing them. "Doctor Li, Mr. Xia has arrived with urgent news."
Zayne barely had time to process the words before Caleb appeared behind the servant, his usual carefree demeanor replaced with something bordering on urgency.
"Zayne!"
He turned sharply at the sound of his name.
"Y/N isn’t well," Caleb said, breathless.
The cup in Zayne’s hand stilled, and his pulse quickened. His mind raced ahead, already picturing the worst.
"Excuse me," he said curtly.
Without a second thought, Zayne strode past them to the waiting carriage, all thoughts of charming Mrs. Carter forgotten.
"How bad is it?" His tone was tinged with something Caleb rarely heard from him—genuine concern.
Caleb hesitated, waving a vague hand. "Oh, well, she said it wasn’t serious, but she looked rather pale, for all we know she could be on death’s door—"
Zayne didn’t wait for the reassurance. He was already shutting the carriage door. Fine or not, he needed to see you for himself.
By the time he arrived at the Hunter estate, his mind had already conjured the worst possible scenarios. He barely waited for the footman to announce him before striding inside.
"Where is she?" he asked, his voice clipped with urgency.
A maid blinked up at him, startled. "Miss Y/N? She’s in the drawing room, Doctor. Shall I—"
Zayne didn’t wait. He was already moving.
But when he stepped into the parlor, expecting to find you pale and frail, perhaps even draped dramatically across a chaise in some near-fainting state, what he found instead was…
You.
Perfectly upright. Reclining comfortably with a book in hand, looking for all the world as if you hadn’t just been dying an hour ago. A tea service sat on the table beside you, steam curling gently from the delicate porcelain cup.
Zayne’s jaw tightened.
You looked up at his arrival, blinking as if surprised to see him. "Zayne?"
"Miss Hunter," he greeted flatly, arms crossed. His gaze swept over you, taking in your relaxed posture, the untouched plate of pastries, the distinct lack of impending doom. 
"You seem…remarkably well for someone allegedly suffering from chest pains."
You were confused. Yes, you were experiencing chest pains, but you didn’t appreciate the accusatory tone in his voice.
"I was unwell," you said, sitting up straighter. "But a moment of rest, and I’m quite recovered."
"Recovered," Zayne repeated dryly. 
"Forgive me for the misunderstanding. Caleb made it sound as though you were at death’s door. I thought I was rushing to your bedside, not intruding on tea."
"That menace.”
Muttering curses at Caleb under your breath, you barely noticed Zayne step closer, until he knelt beside you without a word, his fingers brushing your wrist, pressing gently against your skin. Your breath hitched.
"You don't need to—"
"Be still," he interrupted, his voice softer now, more like a request than a command. His thumb moved in slow, methodical circles as he counted your pulse, his brows furrowing slightly in concentration.
"I'm not dying, you know," you pointed out.
"No," he agreed. "But humor me."
Your heart was beating perfectly fine, perhaps a little quicker now that his hand was still wrapped around yours, but that was neither here nor there. After a moment, he seemed satisfied, releasing you with a quiet hum. 
"Your pulse is steady. Did you experience other symptoms?”
Your lips parted, but for a second, you forgot what you were going to say. Zayne was close, closer than he had any reason to be. The afternoon light cast a soft glow over his sharp features, highlighting the curve of his cheekbone, the green of his eyes that seemed to search for something unseen. His fingers, warm and sure, lingered just a moment longer than necessary against your wrist before he finally released you.
Your heart fluttered.
You cleared your throat, trying to steady yourself. “It was just a bit of tightness in my chest,” you admitted. 
“I did feel like I was on uneven ground.”
Zayne nodded, listening intently.
“When did these symptoms begin?”
You were not going to tell him the tightness in your chest had started the moment you left him with Diana Carter. That would be mortifying. Unacceptable. A completely ridiculous thing to admit.
“Well,” you began carefully, lifting your teacup with studied ease. “It’s difficult to say. Perhaps when I was with my sister, although the weather certainly didn’t help…”
You trailed off, suddenly hyper aware of how closely he was watching you. He was not just listening, but truly paying attention. His posture was composed yet open, his expression unreadable save for the faint crease in his brow.
Had he always looked at you like this?
And then it struck you. This was all the etiquette you had painstakingly drilled into him. The art of attentiveness, the careful balance of presence without intrusion. Every lesson, every refinement of social grace, now seamlessly woven into his demeanor.
Yet somehow, it felt…different. It was intimate.
Zayne exhaled, his sharp gaze assessing you one last time before leaning back slightly. “It doesn’t seem serious. I’d prescribe rest,” he said firmly.
“And if the pain persists, you’ll let me know.”
You hummed, lifting your teacup to your lips. “Doctor’s orders?”
“Precisely.”
A comfortable silence settled between you, broken only when you tilted your head, watching him with quiet curiosity. 
“How was your promenade with Miss Carter?”
“She invited me for tea.” He hesitated, his gaze dropping briefly before flicking back to yours.
You hummed, keeping your expression carefully neutral. “And yet, here you are. How fortunate for me.”
It wasn’t, really. Or maybe it was, but you didn’t particularly feel like acknowledging the thought of him accepting her invitation. 
Zayne smirked. “Yes, well I was in the middle of charming her mother, but I swore an oath as a physician to prioritize my patient’s well being. Besides,” He reached for a macaron, “it would be a terrible waste to leave these unattended.”
You scoffed, plucking a pastry from the tray. “How very selfless of you.”
“I do my best.”
Rolling your eyes, you took a bite before adding, “You realize, of course, that you now owe Miss Carter an apology for abandoning her.”
Zayne made a vague noise of acknowledgement, though his attention remained fixed on the spread before him rather than the prospect of penning an apology.
“Zayne.”
He glanced up, expression utterly unrepentant. “I’ll do it later.”
“You will write to her.”
“Of course.” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully before adding, “Eventually.”
“I see you’ve been spending quite a bit of time with Miss Hunter,” Caleb remarked, chalking the tip of his cue stick before lining up his next shot. 
He had grown curious, given Zayne’s frequent visits to your home over the past few weeks since your supposed health scare. For a man who had always preferred solitude, Zayne now seemed unusually preoccupied with your wellbeing, checking in, ensuring you were resting properly, lingering even when there was no real reason to stay.
“I noticed you have a rather impractical weakness, Dr. Zayne.” You tapped a finger against the table as you watched him pick up another card.
Zayne raised a brow, selecting his next move with careful precision. “Do I?”
“Indeed. You have an undeniable penchant for sweets.”
“That is hardly a weakness.”
“Perhaps not in the medical sense, but it is rather unbecoming for a man of your supposed discipline.” You gestured toward the plate of biscuits beside him. 
“I have seen you reach for those at least three times.”
He picked one up without breaking eye contact. “Four,” he corrected before taking a bite.
You smirked, shifting a card between your fingers. “A man of science you may be, but if a lady believes you to be as sweet as the confections you so adore, she may be more inclined to consider you as a suitor.”
“So you believe an excess of sugar may enhance my marital prospects?”
“Precisely.” You placed a card down with confidence. 
“A bit of sweetness never hurt anyone.”
“And what of you, Miss Hunter?” He leaned in, plucking a card from the pile.
“Are you likewise swayed by sweetness?”
You swallowed, fingers tightening ever so slightly around your own hand of cards. “I suppose I do not mind it. Though, truthfully, I much prefer sincerity to sweetness. Sweets are fleeting. Sincerity however, lingers.”
As if drawn forward by an unseen force, he shifted closer. Just slightly at first with his forearms resting on the table. His fingers toyed idly with a card but his eyes never left yours.
“In your expert opinion as a matchmaker, Miss Hunter, would you say that my affections are merely confectionary…or something more enduring?”
Your pulse quickened as Zayne’s gaze flickered downward, perhaps to your lips, or to the card still between your fingers. Without thinking, you leaned in as well, only enough to test the boundaries of his bluff. His lips parted as if he might say something, but he didn’t. 
“I suppose I shall have to keep playing to find out.”
“She needs consistent monitoring. Symptoms of the heart can be unpredictable,” Zayne replied, carefully angling his cue. 
He took his shot, the ball striking with precision, but Caleb, ever persistent, was not so easily shaken.
“I suppose that’s why you’ve spent more time with her than entertaining potential matches. A Miss Diana Carter, perhaps?”
Zayne’s jaw tightened. He had, in fact, spent several afternoons at the Carter estate, dutifully fulfilling the social obligations expected of a man in his position. Diana was charming, intelligent, and had a sharp wit that could keep up with him, yet—he hesitated.
“If you’re implying something, Caleb, I assure you, your efforts are wasted.”
“Of course, of course,” Caleb drawled, his smirk deepening. 
“I’d never dare suggest that the esteemed Dr. Zayne Li is growing fond of a certain matchmaking lady.”
Zayne turned his attention back to the game, ignoring him but Caleb didn’t miss the telltale pink dusting the tips of his ears.
“You know,” he continued, his tone almost idle, “she was courted once.”
Zayne’s grip on his cue stick tightened, his knuckles going briefly taut before he forced them to relax. He tilted his head slightly, feigning mild curiosity.
“Is that so?”
“Lord Rafayel Qi,” Caleb supplied, taking his shot. 
The billiard balls scattered with a sharp crack, but he took his time straightening, watching Zayne’s reaction. A flicker of something passed over his face. Annoyance? Interest? Perhaps both.
“Shame, really,” Caleb went on, retrieving his glass and swirling the amber liquid inside. “They were quite taken with each other.”
He took a slow sip, letting the words settle as Zayne lined up his next shot. Caleb didn’t need to see his face to know he had struck a nerve, from the slight flex of his fingers to the subtle tightening of his jaw.
“He did not marry her?”
Caleb smirked behind his glass.
“No,” he drawled. “Rafayel’s family had matched him with Lady Evelyn Xander.”
The colonel sighed, shaking his head. “A tragedy, really. A man letting duty dictate his course. A noble sacrifice, some might say.”
Zayne didn’t respond. He took his next shot with just a bit too much force, the cue ball ricocheting hard off the edge.
“I hear the Qi’s will be hosting pall mall on their grounds in a few days,” Caleb remarked, idly spinning his cue stick between his fingers. 
“Will you be inviting Miss Carter?”
Zayne made a vague noise of acknowledgement but said nothing. His focus had drifted elsewhere.
“Or,” Caleb continued, watching him closely, “perhaps Miss Hunter would be the more suitable choice? She’s quite ruthless.”
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The Qi estate and its sprawling grounds stretch as far as the eye could see. Bursts of vibrant flora painted the landscape in splashes of color, dotting the numerous pathways and fountains that were hidden about the estate.
Zayne stepped forward, rolling his shoulders back as he aligned himself with the ball. With a smooth and precise swing, he struck the ball cleanly and it sailed through the wicket, drawing murmurs of approval from the onlookers. 
You hadn't expected him to be this athletic, but the fluidity of his movements and the quiet confidence in his stance made it clear—he was no stranger to competition.
“With your luck, Dr. Zayne, I’m not worried about losing this match at all,” you grinned. 
Zayne smirked and he leaned in just slightly, “I prefer to think of it as skill.”
“Of course, you’re naturally gifted in all that you do.”
“I think my performance speaks for itself,” he teased, eyes gleaming with a playful challenge.
There was something undeniably charming about the way he said it. It was self-assured but not arrogant, teasing but entirely sincere.  
You stood beside Zayne, resting your mallet over your shoulder. The day after his billiards game with Caleb, he had arrived at your home with spring in his step. 
“I hear you’re quite skilled at pall mall.”
You glanced up from your book, arching a brow. “Did Caleb tell you that?”
Zayne said nothing, but the faint flush on his cheeks was enough. You closed your book slowly, watching him. He was not a man prone to idle conversation or casual invitations, which made his next words all the more intriguing.
“Do you have any plans this Friday afternoon?”
“No. Why?”
His fingers twitched at his side before he clasped them behind his back, as if reining himself in. “Would you care to join me for pall mall?”
A slow smile spread across your lips, excitement bubbling to the surface. Before he could say another word, you were already straightening up.
“Say no more, Doctor,” you replied, brimming with enthusiasm.
As the match continued, you happened to glance across the lawn and spotted a lone figure standing off to the side. Lord Xavier Shen of Philos, with his golden hair and striking blue eyes, looked entirely unbothered by his solitude, though he seemed more likely to drift into a nap than to seek out company.  
On a whim, you called out, “Lord Shen, have you any interest in pall mall?”
Xavier blinked slowly, as if processing your words took a considerable effort. Then, after a beat, he ambled forward. 
“I suppose it would be an amusing way to pass the time,” he mused, his voice light and unhurried.
Caleb gave you an incredulous look but said nothing as Xavier took his place among your party, accepting a mallet.
Xavier Shen was heralded throughout the ton for his beauty. Despite his delicate stature and tendency to drift off to sleep in the most unexpected places, which often led his mother to fuss over him, there was an undeniable boldness beneath his refined exterior.
With a slow blink, Xavier lined up his shot, looking more like he might nod off than make a proper swing. Then he struck the ball with unexpected force. The resounding crack echoed across the lawn as the ball launched into the air, soaring far past the intended wicket.
A stunned silence fell over the gathering as heads turned, tracking the ball’s trajectory as it disappeared into the distant shrubbery. A faint thunk followed by the startled squawk of a bird confirmed that the ball had, indeed, landed somewhere it absolutely should not have.
“By jove! That was magnificent, Lord Shen!” someone applauded.
“Incredible!” another cheered. 
Caleb shot you and Zayne a smug look, rocking back on his heels. “Well, well. It seems I’ve been blessed with a secret weapon.”
For the first time since the match began, victory actually felt within reach. He had expected Xavier to be more of a decorative presence than an asset, but after that display of sheer power, Caleb could practically taste the win in this round.
You grimaced, adjusting your grip on the mallet as you lined up for your turn. “That was well beyond the bounds of fair play!”
Caleb only smirked, but before you could take your shot, the sound of approaching footsteps drew your attention. 
“Dr. Li.” 
Your shoulders stiffened, grip tightening around the mallet as you turned to see Diana striding toward your party. She was effortlessly composed, as always, her dark hair neatly tucked beneath her bonnet, a parasol resting elegantly in her hand. She looked as if she had stepped out of a world far more dignified than this scrappy game of pall mall.
From the corner of your eye, you caught how Zayne turned fully to greet her, softening just slightly. A small smile tugged at his lips, polite, but warm.
“Miss Carter.”
Something in your chest tightened.
With a sharp exhale, you turned back to line up your shot, pouring every ounce of whatever was churning inside you into a single, decisive swing. You barely had time to register the impact before the ball went flying, landing completely out of bounds.
“Oh, fuck me,” you hissed.
Caleb let out a bark of laughter. “Well, that’s one way to show off.”
You groaned, dragging a hand down your face, but Xavier only let out an impressed whistle.
“You’ve made the game much more interesting, Miss Hunter.”
You shot him a dry look. “You flatter me, my lord.”
“Only when deserved,” Xavier replied smoothly, inclining his head. “Shall we?”
Zayne, still lingering behind with Diana, observed as you effortlessly fell into step with Lord Shen, the two of you exchanging lighthearted words while making your way to the next wicket. 
It was, in truth, rather unfair how instinctively you understood others, how effortlessly you commanded attention without the slightest attempt. Conversation seemed to come to you as easily as breathing, as though you belonged everywhere and nowhere all at once.
And yet, for some reason, it bothered him more than it should.
“Doctor,” Diana drew him from his thoughts. “I must introduce you to Lord Rafayel Qi. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Zayne stilled, his brow furrowing slightly at the name. 
Lord Rafayel Qi. The man who once held your heart. Caleb had mentioned him once before, but now, the prospect of finally meeting him stirred something unexpectedly sharp in his chest.
What kind of man had once held your affections? What did he have that had drawn you in so completely? 
Before Zayne could so much as nod, she whisked him forward. You barely registered Xavier speaking at your side, your attention fixed on Diana leading Zayne toward Rafayel, her arm still linked with his, drawing him seamlessly into her world.
Rafayel stood tall, every bit the man you had once loved, his presence commanding and impossible to ignore. Dressed impeccably, he guided his wife with a hand resting lightly at the small of her back. Evelyn, for her part, maintained her cool composure as she greeted acquaintances and guests. 
She was beaming as she made the introductions, her enthusiasm unyielding. Zayne, composed as ever, offered a polite nod in greeting, his expression unreadable as he met your former paramour’s gaze.
And for some reason, it bothered you.
But it shouldn’t. This was the role you were meant to play, to ensure that Zayne, Diana, and all the unmarried of Linkon society, found their happiness.  
Yet that same sharp feeling took root in your chest, the same one that had nearly consumed you at the boat races. It crept in, settling deep in the hollow of your ribs. Your fingers curled against the fabric of your skirts, grasping for an anchor, but the world beneath your feet felt unsteady.
Xavier’s eyes narrowed with concern as you clutched your chest. “Miss Hunter?”
“If you’ll excuse me, my lord,” you forced a small smile as you turned, but before you could step away, he moved slightly closer, lowering his voice. 
“Are you quite well? Perhaps I should escort you—”
“No,” you interjected quickly. The tightness in your chest sharpened, but you swallowed it down, inhaling sharply, willing the ache to subside.
“I’ll be fine,” you insisted, though the words felt empty even to you.
“Truly.”
As the weeks passed, Zayne saw you less.
At first, it was easy to dismiss. You were busy, preoccupied with your work. This was, after all, the height of the season. It made sense that you would be swept up in a whirlwind of events and introductions. And yet, as your absence stretched on, something settled uneasily in his chest, a quiet, creeping feeling he dared not name.
“You haven’t insulted me once since I sat down. I’m growing concerned,” Caleb said, feigning heartbreak as he lounged in the chair opposite Zayne.
Zayne barely glanced up, stirring his tea absentmindedly. “Must you always assume the worst?”
“When it comes to you? Yes.”
Caleb studied him for a long moment, his gaze narrowing slightly, as though piecing together a puzzle he’d been turning over in his mind. After a few seconds of silence, he leaned back in his chair, the faintest smile playing at his lips.
“You’re dissociating. And I can’t help but wonder if it has something to do with a certain matchmaker.”
The sudden flush of color in Zayne’s cheeks was all the confirmation Caleb needed. He exhaled sharply, setting his spoon down with a quiet clink. 
“That is ridiculous.”
“Is it?” Caleb mused, arching a brow. “I must say, your visits to her home have been less frequent these days. Perhaps it has something to do with Y/N being sent away?”
Zayne froze, his entire body going stiff. 
“Sent away?”
Caleb hesitated, suddenly realizing his mistake. “It’s not—” He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. 
“It’s not as dire as you seem to think. Her family physician insisted she stay with her sister.”
His stomach twisted. He had been careful, so careful, to keep his distance. To remind himself that you were a professional connection, nothing more. And yet, the idea that you had been unwell, that you had been sent away, alone, without him even knowing, left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“She was ill and no one thought to tell me?”
Caleb shifted uncomfortably. “It wasn’t—”
“Wasn’t what?” Zayne snapped. “Any of my concern?”
Caleb exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. “Zayne—” He stopped himself, reconsidering his next words. 
“Are you not about to move forward with formally courting Diana Carter?”
Zayne didn’t respond right away.
He should have nodded, should have sighed in that resigned way men did when discussing matters of duty. He should have confirmed that yes, of course, he was prepared to court Diana Carter formally. 
It was expected after all, given all of the time you’ve spent tutoring him just so that he could charm Diana and her family. But instead of thinking about Diana Carter, all Zayne could picture was you.
Were you being tended to? Was someone there to care for you, to ease whatever ailment had sent you away? His attention snapped back to Caleb as he noticed the pause in the conversation. 
Caleb’s brow furrowed, his fingers nervously tapping on his glass, his eyes avoiding Zayne’s gaze.
Zayne’s impatience grew. "Where is she? Where was she sent?"
Caleb shifted uncomfortably, clearly reluctant to answer, but Zayne wasn’t giving him an option.
“Does it matter? She’s taking time for herself. Which, frankly, she deserves.”
“Caleb.”
Zayne could feel his patience fraying. 
Caleb groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re impossible, you know that?” He muttered something under his breath before finally revealing your location.
“Whitesand Bay.”
That night, you rushed home, your heart pounding, not from exertion, but from something far more insidious. A tight, unrelenting pain had you clenching your chest, while your fingers tingled uselessly at your sides. You tried to steady yourself, but your legs wobbled beneath you.
Your mother noticed first. The moment she saw you gripping the doorway for balance, your breath coming in short, shallow gasps, she was at your side, calling for the servants, demanding water, a chair, anything to steady you.
Which was how you found yourself subjected to Dr. Ulysses’ diagnosis of emotional duress.
A statement that, of course, sent your parents into a flurry of panic.
“What does that mean?” your mother cried. “Is she dying?”
“It means,” he said, with the patience of a weary saint, “that she requires a change of scenery. I suggest she take residence with your other daughter at once.”
And so, you had been unceremoniously sent off to your sister’s estate in Whitesand Bay, where the seaside was supposed to heal whatever affliction had taken hold of you.
Yet, despite the distance, the whispers of the ton still found their way to you. You tried to ignore them, retreating into the quiet of your own mind, willing the words away as if sheer force alone could make them untrue.
"Dr. Li is planning to return to Bloomshore! And Miss Carter has been seen in his company so often. Surely she’ll be going with him?"
"It’s only natural that a proposal would follow!"
And now, here you were, lying motionless on the floor of your sister’s drawing room, staring blankly at the ceiling, mourning a fate that had not yet come to pass, but one that felt inevitable.
“What are you doing?”
“Wasting away.”
“Care for a pillow?” Sylus chimed in from the doorway. Your sister shot her husband a withering glare before turning back to you. 
“You cannot possibly lie there forever.”
“Dr. Ulysses recommended I take residence here and I am doing just that.”
She sighed, moving to sit on the settee beside you. “For someone who insists on matchmaking others, you are alarmingly terrible at managing your own affairs.”
You had always maintained a fine line between yourself and your clients. It was strictly professional, nothing more. You had spent years matchmaking, priding yourself on identifying the subtlest signs of romantic inclination in others.
But now?
Now you were beginning to question your own sanity.
Perhaps it was the relentless pressure of your work and the constant need to anticipate emotions before they were even felt. 
Perhaps it was exhaustion, making you see things that weren’t there. That had to be it.
And yet, despite the demands of your job, at the center of all these expectations and obligations was a certain doctor.
He was intelligent, perceptive, and shy, not cold, as so many wrongly assumed. He was measured and thoughtful, with a dry wit that caught you off guard and lingered long after a conversation had ended.
Perhaps you had grown accustomed to his attention. To the way his gaze always seemed to seek yours in a crowded room. You had spent so much time considering who would be a good match for him that you had never stopped to consider what it might feel like to watch him be matched.
“If you’re so keen on finding something to do,” Sylus remarked, far too amused for your liking, “perhaps responding to a letter from Lord Shen may be in order.”
You sat up, furrowing your brow. “Xavier?”
The maid approached, placing the letter in Sylus’s hand before you rose up from the depths of the floor and snatched it from him. Ignoring his protest, you unfolded the letter and began to read aloud:
Dear Miss Hunter,
I hope this letter finds you in better health. 
My mother, by way of your mother, has informed me that you are recuperating in Whitesand Bay. I imagine the sea air must be a welcome change, though I confess, I have never spent much time by the coast myself.
I will be passing through Whitesand Bay on my way to Philos to visit my grandfather. Is it true that the seafood is as remarkable as people claim? I have heard outrageous tales of oysters the size of one’s head. 
Wishing you a swift recovery.
X.
“You’ve made a little friend,” Sylus cooed. 
You shot him a look, tucking Xavier’s letter against your palm. “I simply invited him to join our party at pall mall. The man was standing off to the side on his own.”
“One would suspect they were avoiding him for a reason. Perhaps they fear his mother’s wrath,” your sister quipped. 
“Lady Miranda of Philos could strike fear into anyone’s heart.”
You hummed, considering the thought. Xavier’s mother was indeed an imposing woman, it was no wonder her son found himself on the fringes of society, few were willing to risk her displeasure.
You hesitated, fingers grazing the edges of the letter. “I suppose I will write to him,” you admitted. 
“It was kind of him to reach out.”
As you returned to your room with Xavier’s letter in hand, you sat at your writing desk and smoothed out a fresh sheet of parchment. But as you dipped your pen into the inkwell, another thought crept in, unbidden.
Zayne.
You froze for a moment, your hand hovering above the parchment. It was for the best that you didn’t entertain such notions. He was a busy man bound to his job and future bride. And you...you were merely his matchmaker. A professional connection. Nothing more.
With a steady hand, you began writing, but the weight of Zayne’s presence lingered in your chest.
Part 2
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shepherds-of-haven · 3 months ago
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The End of an Era, and the Road Ahead
Hi everybody, the recent news about Dashingdon shutting down feels like it's a bittersweet turning point for many in the ChoiceScript community. Before Don stepped up and took things into his own hands, volunteering his own money, manpower, and time to create and maintain the site, there was no good way for people to host ChoiceScript demos and games in one place: I think the previous solution had been different Dropbox links (which was eventually nuked by security changes in how they hosted files) and possibly separate Neocities sites? Without the Dashingdon site, none of us would have had such an incredible space to gather, share and explore and experience games together, or--for some--even feel motivated to write a ChoiceScript game in the first place, not without an easy and intuitive way of sharing it with others in a playable format. The Dashingdon site significantly lowered the barrier of entry for anyone wanting to make or play or share games; more than that, it was a place of memories, creativity, and connection, and I fully believe that it served as a vital backbone of the ChoiceScript community for many years. A lot of that community relies on the efforts of volunteers--including the creator of CSIDE and the moderators on the forums--and, as with them, I can only thank Don wholeheartedly for his generosity and his 10 years of tireless, selfless, and often thankless work. The fact that a lot of people didn't even know he was a volunteer shows his altruism!
However, all of that work could have only fallen on the shoulders of one person for so long. It's a sad loss to see, though, and I'm very sorry to everyone mourning the loss of the community space, old or inactive WIPs, and save files that will be lost when Dashingdon goes dark at the end of the month. I do wish that there could be an official, stable, company-supported place for authors to host their games in one place, but at least there are alternatives for people to migrate to! (Thank you too to @hpowellsmith and everyone in the community who's taken it upon themselves to spread the news and try to make this transition as smooth as possible for everyone surprised by this announcement. And thank you to the volunteer who's taken up the banner at cogdemos.ink!) I don't know if cogdemos.ink has a page set up to help defray costs, but Dashingdon himself has a ko-fi if you want to leave a tip or thanks for his years of service to the community!
To that end, I want to reassure you all that Shepherds of Haven is safe and isn't going anywhere, and that this change won't affect the game's future. The news has, however, sped up my announcement of something I've been working on for a long time: transitioning away from ChoiceScript and moving Shepherds of Haven to Twine.
Granted, this wasn't how I originally planned on sharing this news. Patrons have known about this move since I decided on it, but I'm a dogged perfectionist, possibly to a fault. I wanted everything to be absolutely polished before unveiling the Twine build, but this unexpected news has been the nudge I needed to take the leap sooner. It's always been my habit to polish my work to an extreme degree: I will rewrite entire novels five, seven, however many times it takes before I send it to my agent or editor... or even before I show it to my own fiance! I still haven't let him read Shepherds, or the novel that I've been talking to him about since 2019, because it "isn't ready" yet, not in my own mind. A common refrain I've always heard from career associates is that my work is "unusually impeccable" by the time it hits their desk. When I do share something, it's usually done. But if I'm learning anything as I grow as a writer, it's that progress matters over perfection. The sudden closure of Dashingdon has made me realize that no one moment will ever feel perfect--and that’s okay. I have to accept that things will never be as perfect as I want to make them before I let them out into the world. Instead of holding myself to an impossible standard, I’m embracing this opportunity to push forward and bring you something I'm truly proud of. (However nerve-wracking that may be!) So, instead of reuploading the ChoiceScript demo somewhere else, only to take it down again later, my efforts are going to shift entirely to getting the Twine version ready for release. It’s a huge task, but it ensures I’ll have complete control over Shepherds of Haven and its future. If I drop everything and focus entirely on this for the next several weeks, my best estimate is that it will take 3-5 weeks of full-time work to make that final push and finally get everything caught up and ready.
Why Twine? There were a lot of reasons behind my decision to move. The biggest of all was that, as the game's wordcount grew, so too did my creative vision for it, and I found myself longing for a version of ShoH that could be just as visually rich and mechanically engaging as I was imagining. Codex entries, interactive maps, infinite saves that can be downloaded directly to your device! Moving to Twine removes the limitations of ChoiceScript's simpler engine, and allows me to honor the game's creative potential and deliver on it in a way that feels true to the journey we've shared so far. It's also a platform that offers greater flexibility and independence for both me and the game: I've put so much work into this project that I'd prefer for its success to rest more in my hands, even if that means taking on the monumental task of publishing it myself, rather than anyone else's.
So. Both the public demo and the alpha build will be released in Twine as soon as I can make that happen. The majority of the work's already done--I just need to get the alpha build caught up with some lingering day off interludes and Chapters 8.5 and 9, and I need to address a queue of lingering quality-of-life questions and tweaks. I want to also note that, while there are very exciting additions to unveil, everything foundational to ShoH remains exactly the same. The story, text, and original functions have been ported in their entirety to Twine, outside of basic edits and refinements that would have happened in the normal course of revision, anyway. I have even taken pains to implement a visual "classic" setting that will replicate the font, colors, and general simplified look of the original version, if players want to use that instead. :) But otherwise, this thing is stuffed to the gills with awesome new features. Custom music soundtrack! Clickable maps! Actual trading card collectibles! Stunning new art! Revamped codex and store and inventory systems! Helpful tutorials and autosave points! Important quality of life improvements, like being able to select pronouns separately from gender and change them any time! This doesn't even touch the surface of it, but needless to say, I think we're going to have a lot of fun. Thank you all for your patience, encouragement, and support so far, and please give me some time to get my ducks in a row. A new version of Shepherds of Haven will be ready for you to play soon!
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bamzies · 6 months ago
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very useful things to script for your kpop drs cause goddamn
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ৎ my mental health never gets affected in any way
ৎ our company gives us therapy / our company has a good therapist
ৎ my members are never affected by hate
ৎ our company doesn't put us on extreme diets/or any diets (if you script no weight gain)
ৎ we get along with our members / not co-worker relationship
ৎ we are never overworked and our schedules aren't too full all the time
ৎ members always in sync
ৎ always passionate / never lazy
ৎ we always get full nights rest
ৎ companies don't mistreat us/abuse us
ৎ we get along with staff and have a good professional bond with our staff
ৎ idols do not bully each other
ৎ members aren't attracted to my crushes/s.o
ৎ no drama with members
ৎ we don't always need to eat healthy (cus uh uh 😭)
ৎ our physical health is never put at risk
ৎ our fandom is not toxic or creepy
ৎ our fandom consists of mostly women (personal preference)
ৎ or none of the men in our fandom are weird and the women
ৎ older fans arent creepy (im talking like 30's 40's)
ৎ no saesangs
ৎ our fans aren't parasocial
ৎ each member is treated fairly and with respect
ৎ our company doesn't put us in debt/we dont have debt
ৎ our company lets us have freedom (dating, leaving the building/dorms etc)
ৎ no creepy staff
ৎ we are not underpaid/paid unfairly
ৎ shooting mvs is fun
ৎ our company covers up for us and defends us (dating, personal privacy etc not scandals)
ৎ we get creative freedom/our ideas get acknowledged
ৎ our company isn't shady !!!
ৎ world tours are actually world tours (as a south african stan)
ৎ no airport mobs
ৎ fans respect us/listen to us
ৎ we can connect with fans and not be parasocial
ৎ our fans make fire edits (AUGHHHH)
ৎ our fans do not ship us...(unless platonic)
ৎ fans aren't jealous rabid animals (male x female interactions for context)
ৎ we aren't forced to get surgery
ৎ even if we get surgery fans are supportive/aren't weird
ৎ k-netz are normal.
ৎ k-nez aren't no.1 priority
ৎ int fans are also taken into consideration (these are for seunghan)
ৎ variety shows are fun
ৎ variety show hosts aren't weird
ৎ we do NOT need to do aegyo (optional..)
ৎ armys/blinks/stays are normal
ৎ makeup is always done perfectly and suitable for your skintone
ৎ (for my black shifters) you can always wear your natural hair out and you can get a silk press that comes out perfectly
ৎ (for my black shifters) dye, straightening etc will not damage your hair (this can apply for all hair types actually) your hair is strong
ৎ our fans are funny
ৎ our fans aren't cringey
ৎ i genuinely care for my fans....
ৎ i'm not stuck up
ৎ im humble
ৎ our fans help other groups if they ever experience a black ocean (im looking at u czennie ��)
ৎ script fandom friends ex: tokki, nctzen, onedoor etc (will help for backup 😭😭)
ৎ no stupid fanwars
ৎ you are _th gen it girl/boy
ৎ mc bank is fun and silly not memorized expressions and lines (from what ive heard from other shifters) you get to be yourself
ৎ male idols arent weird (female too but mostly men)
ৎ all male idols with sexual assault charges get death penalty (not just idols)
HAPPY SHIFTING 😸😸😸😸
do not !! copy my shit im watching you
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armoricaroyalty · 1 year ago
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Why is the Sims community boycotting Curseforge?
I've seen a lot of posts going around calling on Simmers to stop using Curseforge, a modding platform that enables creators to monetize their downloads, with plenty of outrage directed toward modders and CC-makers who are still on the platform. But I've also seen a lot of people who are confused about why there are calls for a boycott.
Curseforge is owned by Overwolf, a company that is donating money to the IDF in support of its ongoing genocide against the Palestinian people.
In late October/early November, Overwolf posted a graphic on their social media asking followers to "defend our defenders" by contributing financially to a fundraising drive for the IDF. They were met with backlash and quickly took the graphic down, replacing it with one that used language about raising money for "those affected by the violence in Gaza" (my phrasing may be inexact) but the money is still going to the IDF and not to any agency actually supporting civilians or doing humanitarian work.
You can see the original graphic on this change.org petition, which provides some additional context.
If you are using Curseforge in any way -- by hosting your content there or downloading from it -- you are giving money to a company that is raising funds for an ongoing military campaign against a civilian population.
This is why people are calling for a boycott. If you are a modder or CC maker for the Sims, you should remove all of your content from the website and redirect people to other DL sources. If you are a consumer of mods and CC, you should stop clicking curseforge links and send (polite!) messages to modders and CC makers to urge them to pull their content from the site.
ETA: Here's another link with more images of the original Overwolf Tweet!
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cursedcola · 1 year ago
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Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia( pt.1 Here!)(pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. Note: These are all if he is the one proposing btw. Also, I went overboard. So much that I exceeded the character limit and need to post Diasomnia in 2 parts. I have favorites I guess :/
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Malleus experienced more firsts over the course of three years than the duration of his life. His first board game session, his first group trip with peers, his first taste of carnival food, his first sleepover, his first true friend - so, so many firsts. All a byproduct of one person walking into his life and taking a genuine interest in him.
You were the first houseguest he personally invited over to Diasomnia. Not for a tour, not for business, not on behalf of another - no. You were Malleus' houseguest, there to visit Malleus and spend time with Malleus. The snacks prepared were for you both to share. The lounge seating reserved for your company. His first time hosting for fun.
You were the first person he ever got a present for outside of his family. How quick your birthday had come, and how startled he became to find he cared. You were older. Growing so quick and changing at an alarming pace. He could see it in your features and mannerisms. Malleus knew that humans aged at a much faster rate than fae. Silver sprouted like a beanstalk. Yet you were blossoming like a flower in spring. How long until you'd wither?
Malleus cared. Not out of curiosity, but something deeper. Malleus did not want a servant to pick your gift, not even his closest companions. He desired to adhere to human custom and do the task himself. He did not trust another to pick something meaningful and to your preference.
You were the first to make him laugh. Your humor being like none he had heard before. Others tend to correct themselves in Malleus' presence, or try to cater to 'his' taste. Even those closest to him, often sharing a joke that flies over his head without any explanation. You did no such thing. Your humor was curious, and perhaps a bit crude. The jokes did fail to land with him, but he still found them funny regardless.
You were the first to make him yearn. Malleus had felt loneliness before. He's been bound in it's searing clutches and taunted. Yet his rooted longing never compelled him to change. He never felt jealous. Until your smile became another's and he felt a hot pit in his stomach. One different than his fiery magic.
You were his first desire.
Malleus fumbled and panicked. He had finally found a friend, yet he wanted more. The realization striking him deep. The first want he had no guarantee of obtaining. Yet his need for you was strong. He could not lose you. Malleus begun to value your presence. Your joy. The new life you breathed into him. He held it as dear as his family. You became his fondest treasure.
Malleus needed to ensure that you would never be taken from him. That you would never change.
You were also his first failure. On the dawn of your second year and his graduation, Malleus proposed. He had forgone all customs and jumped straight to marriage. Love to the fae was a lifetime bond. No power could chain you to him stronger than matrimony. Which is why he demanded your presence in the gardens after the ending ceremony. He decorated according to your tastes, with colorful lanterns and firefly lights strewn across the plants.
He saw the hope in your eyes. The way they sparkled with affection and pride bloomed knowing that he was the cause.
“Malleus….It’s so beautiful. Did you prepare this just for me?” You ask, clutching your hands to your chest. He smiles, reaching into his breast pocket and pulling out a black velvet box in the shape of a rose.
“I’m happy to see you like it; however, I hope this offering pleases you more”
Malleus opens the box to reveal a ring. Your eyes widen owlishly and he interprets it as a good sign. Until you step back.
“Oh Malleus….I can’t accept this. We aren’t even dating!” You deny his unspoken proposal with a shaken tone Malleus’ is unfamiliar with. Not from you.
“Why not? I love you. Is that not enough? Do you not love me?”
He fails to understand why you declined. He spent countless hours studying human customs and expression. No. Studying you. He was confident you returned his affections. So why? Why not leave this place and join him?
You explain to him that you’re incapable of marrying someone you haven’t spent time with romantically. That you do care about him. That you liked him and did feel for him. That you could love him, but not so suddenly. You have friends at NRC and didn’t want to leave. Not to mention how him marrying a human, especially with no warning, would cause so many political problems.
Of course he had already taken all this into consideration. He didn’t care about all that, yet bit his tongue from speaking his mind. Another first for Malleus.
“What if I abide by your terms? Would you allow me to court you properly?” He cuts into your sea of reasons not to be together. They weren’t his concern. Only you.
This gets you. He clearly wasn’t listening. Love blinded the average person, and Malleus’ heart bled. You consider his offer, and agree to his courtship. It would be difficult to maintain considering your distance and his status. Yet they were fickle matters to Malleus.
You were his first failure, yet he didn’t mind. There was no true victory without a bit of labor.
The change that he so feared, it became something Malleus adored. Every time he would whisk you away from NRC, or return for a visit - you were different. You had a new story to share, or had changed your appearance. At first he began to panic once again at how quickly you seemed to evolve without him.
And one day he realized that you would keep changing. He’d see a new you forever. All these new versions. A constant spark and longing that made him realize how precious each one was. They would come whether he bid them to or not - so he had to cherish them. Every version of you was one he loved and lost. Yet the fact that another would emerge kept his heart complacent.
You were his first kiss on a dewy fall morning. You were his first heartfelt dance, dressed in shimmery black satin and pearls that he gifted. You were his first goodnight kiss, and first morning embrace. You were his first comfort after tragedy struck and his first sympathetic heartache. You were everything.
It was no longer about chaining you. He loved his firsts. He would forever remember them.
His first goodbye.
On the cusp of your 3rd year coming to a close, Malleus prepared the ring from two years prior. He would gift it to you after your graduation. It would be yours whether you accepted the meaning behind it or not - the ring could go to no one else.
An announcement arrives to him the week prior via pen and paper. Hand written by you and oh how he so loved your letters. Malleus opened it with calm delight, yet as his eyes traveled across the words he forgot how to control his strength. The paper alit in flames.
‘The Headmaster found a way to send me home. Would you come for a visit?’
The letter was not so blunt, but that’s all he could comprehend. Malleus was not ready to say goodbye. He once thought his greatest fear was to watch his flower wilt, yet now it must be cut to make a bouquet.
As much as it tore him apart, Malleus had to let you go. He couldn’t root you to soil forever. His hands unconsciously drift to the velvet rose box tucked safely in his breast pocket.
It’s only natural you’d be the source of some of Malleus’ lasts. He would never love another.
He joins you days before your ceremony. You explain to him the procedure to return, and he bites his tongue once again. He encourages you, and is happy that you’re happy. The ring burns a hole where his heart lies yet he continues on with grace, ignoring the cautious behavior of your peers whenever he’s around. The only opinion he cared for was yours, and he’d stay as long as you needed.
Malleus missed the way your heart sought his. The way you gave him chance after chance to ask you to stay. How you clung to him despite the roles normally being reversed.
“I guess this is goodbye. I’ll miss you,” you whisper, holding Malleus’ hand and glancing at the glowing portal behind him. Malleus smiles, his eyes softening as he leans forward to kiss your forehead.
“I will never forget your heart,” he murmurs against your skin, and reaches into his breast pocket with fluid movements. Malleus places the velvet rose box in your hands, cradling them gently with both of his.
“This is yours. I had it made for your finger alone, and only you will be the one to wear it. My heart belongs to you. Let this be my final selfish wish, but I hope you will think of me when you look upon it”
Malleus doesn’t understand why you break down. The way you clutch the box to your chest and look at him with such pain. He thought you wanted to go home. Is it not what you waited so long for?
He cannot be strong when you’re crying. How can you be so cruel. He won’t be able to -
“I want to be with you. I love you,” you whisper yet he hears it perfectly clear.
Malleus’ heart stutters and he clutches your shoulders. With one hand he tilts your chin up to look at him. Your eyes splotched with red irritation and glassy with sorrow. He wipes at their edges with his thumbs, cupping your cheeks ans looking at you for any sign of doubt. Any insincerity or fear. Your expression from years prior still lives rent free in his mind…he would not risk your happiness for his selfishness.
He finds nothing and pulls you in his arms. For the first time, Malleus sheds tears born from love. From relief. He wraps his arms protectively around you, and tucks his chin over your head.
“If you love something, let it be free. If it was meant to be yours then it will come back willingly. This is a saying of humans, is it not? I could not have you at the cost of your happiness. You do not deserve such a tainted love…but if this is truly what you desire, then I will not cease my efforts. You are mine, and I will eternally be yours,”
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{Malleus’ ring is hand crafted by the royal blacksmith. Some would assume that there is a ring passed down through generations of the Draconia bloodline. There is not. The fae do not follow such traditions, yet Malleus would not instill all his values onto you. If it is a ring you need, then it is a ring he will get. He decides to reforge a gem plucked from his mother’s staff. The ring is made especially for you, with a teardrop-cut of magic-infused emerald as the focus point. It’s enchanted to reject any hand other than your own, and morphs to the size of your finger. It is subtle, made of pure gold, and a symbol of union between fae and mankind.}
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"One should never make a vow of eternal love lightly. Take it from someone with ample life experience"
Lilia often imposes advice without any prompting. The musings of an old man normally went in and out of people's ears anyways. Sometimes it takes experience to learn, and no matter how we try to warn our children - fate is fate. They will go through the motions just as the people before them. Especially when it comes to trials of the heart such as love and loss.
Lilia knows both intimately. They've forged the man he is.
Philia: Love of friendship and equals. His peers, his comrades in arms, his fellow fae. The friends he has lost through death and distance. Those he fought to protect.
Storge: Parental love. To raise the son of his closest friends, and the blood of his sworn enemy. Lilia has fought through loss to feel the gratification of fatherhood. Lilia loves his children.
Agape: Love of man. This one took work. It took losing all he had, and then losing more. Hundreds of years of healing and trying to be better. Even in his final stretch Lilia is still learning this love.
Eros: Passionate, unconditional love. Lilia has felt this once, and only once. The wound still fresh with a dribble of salt steadily halting the healing process. To feel eros is a beautiful thing, but to have it ripped away is enough to kill.
Lilia experienced his fair share, and now enjoys watching those in the prime of life seek out love. He doesn't engage in romantic gossip, but enjoys watching others live their lives. One of his biggest curiosities being you, oddly enough.
This is because you've shown no interest in feeling love of any kind. Being the nosy man he is, Lilia finds your dismissal of others a bit concerning. He's not the most open person himself, yet you're a young human. This is when you should be wild! Surely you must feel something, considering all the 'escapades' you've been on with other students. The best way to bond is over shared trauma - he's not endorsing it. Just stating a fact.
"It's nothing personal. I'd rather not get too attached considering my living circumstances, if you catch my drift" you say in response to his prying.
He indeed 'catches the drift' and sees a bit of himself reflected in you. You were not unkind, yet also not overzealous. You did not push others away, yet also made an effort to protect yourself. For all the kind deeds you've done, Lilia knew better than to think it a case of bleeding heart syndrome. You remind him of how he was when deciding to raise Silver - afraid and very good at hiding it for the sake of others.
He decides to step in against his better judgement. If anything to repay the kindness you've done Malleus and his two youngsters. He couldn't watch you waste the precious life you’ve been given huddled away in isolation. Lilia would become your confident, as he is the most equipped to endure inevitably bidding farewell. If anything he will encourage you to forge stronger bonds of your own accord without fear.
He does an outstanding job at being the extrovert adopting an introvert. His favorite hobby being to startle you - popping out from random places like trees, bushes, the ceiling, your closet, etc. So much that you grow accustomed to his antics and expect them. Going so far as to always carry hard candies in your coat pocket as a peace offering.
He invites you to play online video games, go shopping, and sometimes pops by your dorm with Malleus. However his visits soon become solo, sensing that his adopted son didn't enjoy his 'nightly stroll' with his best friend being invaded. Lilia didn't mind - it meant that he'd get your company all to himself! There was nothing like watching a few horror flicks and tormenting Grimm after them. You even had a guest room in case he felt too ‘lazy’ to fly home.
On your birthday, he bakes a cake and leaves it on your kitchen windowsill. You found it, and even thanked him 'happily' later that day. He never said he was the chef though....you must have quite a keen sense of taste! That or he must be so talented that you know his cooking by heart!
Lilia felt a sense of relief, seeing your mannerisms shift from neutral to happy as time passed. It was hard work ebbing away at those walls of yours. It's not good for humans to be stressed. It lessens their already short lifespan.
He really should step aside. Let you befriend more humans and people that will support your journey. Except he doesn't want to. Philia's taken root in his heart - you're now a friend. An actual one.
So...he doesn't let go.
You join the college's boardgame club, and Lilia feels honored that he's the first you ask to play with. Each time you sought his company made him feel young again. Thrills did tend to follow your wake after all.
You often spent many evenings teaching Malleus, Silver, and even Sebek about your world. Not something Lilia planned for, but seeing you open up about it put his mind at ease. The different cultures, history, trends - Lilia listens in happily as well. Going so far as to learn some of your favorite recipes. He wants to cook them right away, but agrees to wait for your company. You grew nervous when he brought the topic up, possibly because you didn't want to be left out? Surely, that must be why.
Soon comes another January 1st - Signifying a new year and also Lilia’s birthday. The night prior he was out on the prowl, flying free throughout campus, watching people party and celebrate. Normally he’d spend this evening having fun of his own, but being caged at a school left him little chances to be free. Jumping across rooftops and sneaking around doing parkour was a trip down memory lane. The fireworks and lively people made for an excellent atmosphere.
By chance he happened on your rooftop, and decided to pop in for a quick respite. Slipping in through an open window was child’s play, as was avoiding your paranormal houseguests and popping in and out of rooms.
His keen hearing picks up your voice coming from the main bedroom - and normally he wouldn’t invade a personal space but the door was open. So obviously it was an invitation. He sticks to the ceiling and crawls to a shrouded corner with a mischievous grin.
How unsuspecting you were - dressed up in fancy clothes and muttering to yourself while in front of a floor length mirror. Lilia thinks you’re going to a party and is prepping to tag along -
“Alright. I can do this,” you mutter and turn around to pace the floor. A neatly wrapped present is clutched tight in your hands - wrapped in ivory paper with a sparkly pink ribbon. Lilia freezes just when he’s about to jump down, and clings back to the wall. “Just give it to him. Give it and tell him how you feel,” you turn towards the mirror, holding the box out, “Hello there Lilia. Yes, this is a birthday present. Yes, you’re a year older, how exciting! By the way I really like you so would you want to go on a date?” You fall silent, cringing in disgust at your reflection before sitting on the bed, “Ah. That was such dogshit”
Lilia exits as swift as he entered. The night air whips against his skin as he transforms into a bat and is already on the way back home. The implications of what he just witnessed weighing heavily on his mind.
This would not be the first time someone has caught feelings for him. You don't go 700 years without any suitors - he'd always turn them down with careful consideration.
Except he doesn't want to this time. That's the major issue.
The flight home was long, with purposeful detours until he felt tired enough to retire. A familiar bitter ache stung his heart. He'd only felt this disappointment once prior, and swore off letting it bud again.
Eros.
Lilia was in love too. He recognized the passion growing long before this moment, and against his better judgement let it fester.
"Seems I'm not as equipped to handle this as I once believed" he says to no-one and moves to play some online games instead of sleeping.
Lilia once felt a love he couldn’t express through anything other than fealty and devotion. It was a darker time where there was no promise of future. He swore not to endure that pain again - yet this is similar yet also different. The love is blooming effortlessly. His devotion is growing. The desire is there and so is the fear. All the same feelings yet without the dire weight of external forces adding pressure. This time it’s his choice to follow through. There’s no bigger force at play stopping him. Not even your mortality, considering how his lifespan is almost at its close.
Yet for all his years of wisdom, the thought of putting his heart out was still as frightening as the first.
In truth, Lilia had ulterior reasons for pursuing your companionship other than worry or repaying a debt. Your behaviors did remind him of his past self. That was no lie. He simply felt affection blooming upon your first meeting and thought having your friendship would morph it into something more tame. He had a habit of drawing in lost souls - what was one more?
Now the affection is stronger, and you return it.
Heavens, was he being given another chance? After all these years.
You return it. It's requited. He needn't hide it for the sake of someone else's happiness. Lilia could be selfish, if only he let himself.
The next day, Lilia finds an ivory box with a sparkly pink ribbon outside his door. A neatly written letter is attached, with the words 'Happy Birthday' written on the front. His name is written on the tag in black ink, with your name signed as the sender.
Lilia picks it up and undoes the wrapping with nimble movements. Inside is an assortment of treats that he wanted to try from your home, and a neatly folded letter atop them. It details exactly what was expected, a perfect explanation of your feelings that's entirely different than the nervous display he intruded upon.
He looks around the hallway, checking to see if you’re nearby before disappearing without a trace. Nothing but an open door showing that he left.
Everything after is a blur. While doing the dishes back at your dorm and trying not to think of the present - Lilia appears out of nowhere, startling you for what was probably the first time in months. His typical cheeky grin and snicker were nowhere in sight.
He says one thing, “Are you certain?”. The words held a heavy meaning for the both of you.
Asking if he’s willing to go for one last chance. To take one final risk or simply be satisfied with all he’s accomplished thus far. It asks if you’re willing to do the same - to risk everything you’ve built in one fell swoop.
You nod, and Lilia smiles. Not an impish smirk or a snarky grin. A true, soft smile that is full of released tension. He happily hugs you from behind as you finish working in silence, gradually slipping back to his playful ways yet not entirely. He would remain the out of touch peepaw that you so loved to tease him as, but a bit of his youthful spirit was being revived. His inner self being healed, perhaps.
He loves you, and the world hasn’t split in two. It was his time.
Finally.
From then on he had no reservations in loving you. This was a new form of eros. A new passion filled with joy and living for the moment - versus the weight of time holding him back like it did when he was younger. Nothing changed in your dynamic other than he now had the strength to let himself love freely.
Which is exactly why he wastes no more time. Just as he told you off hand long ago, one should not make a vow of eternal love lightly. He’d take his own advice and seek his own happiness for the first time in hundreds of years.
On a random night with no inkling of warning, Lilia drags you out of bed to the Ramshackle rooftop in nothing but your nightclothes. It wasn’t the first time he’d ask for a midnight escapade - just for the thrill and surprise, most of the time. He loved to keep things exciting.
Except he was being far too gentle. Far too nostalgic. He sits you down on the edge of the roof and puts his cardigan over your shoulders. Not a word passes between you as he tucks it snug around your shoulders - his hand tracing the line of your cheekbones, down your arms and to your hands. He cradles them gently, never taking his eyes from yours.
Then something foreign glimmers against your finger. In an effortless motion, he slipped the ring on without pause. You can’t help but stare at the gem in thought, looking between it and Lilia’s thoughtful expression over and over.
Lilia nods, taking your hand in his and running his thumb over the ring - admiring it against your skin.
“I’ve lived many years. Lead many lives. I thought I had accepted my nearing end, yet I find myself wanting more. I want to grey with grace at your side. To enjoy mundane evenings - greet you come morning and kiss you to seal a day’s end. I want my last life to be at your side, if only you will have me”
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{A blood red garnet placed inside a blossom frame. Lilia’s ring is made of silver, and gives the illusion of a red rose in a bed of vines. Red is the color of passion, devotion, and unconditional love. Red roses hold this very meaning in the language of flowers. Lilia has felt this before - but you are his fated. You have chosen him simply for the person he is - not who he needs to be. He can finally be free and at peace. Your love is something he can selfishly hoard and it gives him the desire to enjoy life. He feels full. Happy. He hopes that this ring shows that he wants to live for the moment by your side, eternally}
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seventeenpins · 6 months ago
Note
⁵⁾ pressing the pads of their fingers into their lips in the aftermath, like they’re either trying to capture the feeling or banish it from memory
with x1!Logan pretty plssssss 😏
YES Ozzie omg thank you I love this ❤️
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Forbidden Fruit
pairing: dbf!Logan x neighbor!reader word count: 3.4k summary: You’re a little obsessed with your attractive new neighbor. Unfortunately, he’s quite a bit older than you... And your dad's new best friend. content/warnings: non-mutant AU, unspecified age gap, written as x1 Logan, Scott is your dad (sorry), silence of the lambs spoilers???, yearning, tbh yall are as bad as each other, smut a/n: lmao this was supposed to be a drabble 🤷 ty to @ozarkthedog, the most perfect human 🩷
There’s a party roaring outside. As a general rule, your dad doesn’t like to throw parties often, but when he meets the man who’s moving in next door, he announces to you his plan. “Hosting a new neighbor helps to establish a good relationship!” he insists, and that’s that.
You’re sat in the living room, the space dimly lit, nursing a Pabst Blue Ribbon as the glow of your latest Blockbuster rental illuminates your face.
"You even old enough to drink?" comes a voice just outside the door frame. 
You jump, beer sloshing gracelessly down your front. You turn to him, glowering. He’s silhouetted from the hallway and you can’t make out his face. “Yep,” you tell him, “I just have an immaculate skincare routine. Keeps me youthful.”
“So you’re hiding inside… because?”
You shrug. “Just like time to myself.”
He nods, and then strides over. He takes a seat beside you.
“Who are you, exactly?” you frown, looking him up and down.
“You mind?” he asks, smirking as he wiggles the beer you didn’t realize he was holding and nods towards the bottle opener. The audacity.
You glare and grab the bottle opener. He holds his hand out for it, but you withdraw. 
“Logan,” he laughs, “Logan Howlett. I just moved in next door.”
“Oh,” you drop the bottle opener into his hand, remembering your dad’s words. Establish a good relationship. “Oh, yeah, my dad was really excited about the party. Hope you’re enjoying it.”
His eyebrows raise. “Your dad?”
“Yeah,” you nod, “Scott Summers.”
“No shit,” he frowns, “That guy sends a lot of emails.”
“That he does.”
Logan pops his bottle open. “Mind some company?”
“Long as you don’t mind watching Silence of the Lambs starting part way through.”
“Ohhhhh yeah, has he asked for a quid pro quo yet?”
“Aahh, a connoisseur,” you grin, “Yeah, just got past that part. I can rewind–”
“Nah,” he shrugs, “Let it play.”
You watch for a while in silence, but then start chatting again, swapping mundane questions. 
“So, Scott’s your dad, huh?” he asks, after a while.
“He sure is.”
“When he said he had a daughter, I guess I assumed someone younger.”
“Same skincare routine,” you deadpan.
He closes his eyes, holding back a laugh as he shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. It’s none of my business.”
“It’s okay,” you laugh, “Yeah, he was still pretty young when I was born.”
“And what about…” he trails off, suddenly realizing tact may be appreciated.
“Dad’s a widower,” you explain simply.
Logan nods. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
You sit in silence for a moment, watching as Lecter is revealed to be wearing the guard’s face.
“How about you?” you ask, “You got a wife? Husband? Girlfriend? Partner?--”
He turns to look at you and you peter off. “Nope.” 
There’s something in the way he’s looking at you. You’re not sure if he’s being suggestive, or if you’re reading into things. Maybe it’s just the reflecting light making his eyes look more provocative than he intends.
Either way, you feel your heartbeat surge and your stomach flip.
You turn away and try to affect nonchalance, try not to be suddenly mesmerized by this unexpected plot twist that is Logan. The movie is wrapping up, Clarice taking Lecter’s call as he pursues Chilton. You try to focus on it, the score, the costumes– but instead you notice the way he smells, musky and a little sweaty. It’s nice. A little dizzying.
“What about you?” you ask.
“Hmm?”
"You have any kids?" you ask, and immediately wonder if you waited too long to carry on the conversation.
"Shit," he snorts and shakes his head, "I hope not."
It takes you off guard. You burst out laughing.
He huffs, lifting the beer to his lips to hide a smile.
The credits begin to roll over the ending scene. 
With the bottle drained, he pats his thighs and stands up. "Alright, kid," he says, "I probably shouldn’t hide in here any longer.”
“My dad appreciates it,” you tell him, “Don’t wanna give him a heart attack when his guest of honor is nowhere to be found, soon to be discovered with his delinquent daughter.”
He picks up his empty and shakes his head, heading back outside. He calls back, “Oh, you’re trouble.”
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Now that you’ve met him, you can’t get him out of your mind. 
When you see him again, a couple days later in daylight this time, you have to pick your jaw up off the ground. He’s taller than you realize, and he’s fucking built. And fuck, he’s handsome too. When he sees you, he waves a hand. “Hey Trouble,” he calls, “Keepin’ your nose clean?”
Weeks pass, and, much to your delight (and, admittedly, despair), your dad and Logan become close. 
Sundays become your favorite day. Sunday, you discover, is the day you can see Logan through your window, chopping a seemingly endless stack of firewood. 
One time, he catches you watching. To your utter shock, he winks at you. Knowing your eyes are on him, he lifts the hem of his beater to wipe his brow, and shoots you a shit-eating grin.
You had plans but that doesn’t matter now. All you can do is shove your hand into your panties and rub circles around your throbbing little clit until you cum with a muffled sigh, knowing he’s outside. Knowing there’s not more than a fence and a few feet between you.
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Almost every night, his fire pit is alight and you see him reading, or strumming his guitar, or fucking whittling, serene in the smouldering glow, till the fire burns out and the night turns too cool to enjoy.
As the weeks pass, he’s at your house more and more. You wish your heart would stop doing flips whenever you see him on the sofa next to your dad, beer in hand, laughing at some story that’s being recounted.
He says hello to you each time he sees you, and always asks after you when you’re out.
“Oh, Logan says hi,” your dad will say over his morning toast, “Why does he call you Trouble? Tell me you haven’t been besmirching the Summers name?”
“Nah,” you grin, “Just the littlest besmirchment, at worst.”
His eyes narrow.
“C’mon, now, we want to-”
“Establish a good relationship!” you finish, grinning at the way he scowls.
“Smartass.”
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“Hey, Trouble,” he’ll greet you, whenever you find him at your home.
“Hey neighbor.”
“You bein’ good?” he’ll ask.
“‘Course not,” you’ll wink, “Where’s the fun in that?”
You love that he calls you Trouble. That he has a name, just for you. It feels like it could almost be something, and so it’s almost enough. 
Before long, what you’d once feared was a one-sided attraction begins to morph into something different. 
It’s a Saturday, and you decide to wear a cute little dress. It’s a flowy thing that hugs all your curves in the very best way, hem barely falling past the curve of your ass.
Your dad just popped out for another six-pack, and you’re in the kitchen, making pasta salad. With your father gone, Logan isn’t subtle in the way he looks at you. You delight in how his eyes linger at the curve of your hip, the swell of your chest. It feels like a victory, the way he grits his jaw a little when you lean forward, cleavage on full display.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doin’ wearing a naughty little dress like that?” Logan asks, scowling.
You raise an eyebrow and try not to let the way your heart starts to flutter affect you. “Thought you’d figured it out on day one – I’m trouble.”
He looks you up and down, his gaze lascivious. It’s the boldness of it. The two of you are alone, and you both know it.
“I think you like it,” you narrow your eyes.
He’s silent for a long moment. Then he lets out a deep breath. 
“God help me, I do.”
“Why don’t you do something about it?”
He opens his mouth to respond, but then you both hear the latch, and the front door swings open.
Logan sits back, pretending as though nothing just happened.
You turn back to your salad.
You can see Logan in the sitting room, right in your line of sight. Your dad sits across from him, his back towards you. 
If you’re honest, you’re not sure exactly what compels you. 
You turn to face Logan, wave for him to catch your eye. He does, quickly, immediately attuned to you. Your dad doesn’t notice the way his eyes follow you. You hold a finger to your lips. His eyes dart between you and your dad, and he tries to focus on whatever his friend is saying to him. 
Slowly, you slip one strap down, and then the other. You can hear Logan’s breath hitch, which he covers almost believably with a gulp of his beer. Shimmying the bodice just a little, you expose your cleavage to near-dangerous depths. He’s grinding his teeth now, and it feels like victory.
Quickly, silently, you slip your top all the way down, exposing your breasts to the cool kitchen air. Your nipples, already hard, tighten. Logan is holding his can so tightly he’s crushing it in his fist. 
“You okay, buddy?” you hear your dad say, and you can practically hear the frown in his voice. In a couple of quick movements, you slip your top back up and turn back to your salad.
“Huh?” Logan asks quickly, and then looks at his beer. “Oh, shit–!” he grumbles, relaxing his grip gingerly.
It’s not till an hour later that your dad stands up and announces, “I’ll be right back, gonna hit the head.”
When he’s gone, Logan bolts up and marches over to you.
“Are you out of your damn mind?” he demands.
You shrug and, not so subtly, glance down at his crotch. You smirk at the way the front is tenting. Logan stares daggers as he adjusts himself, better hiding his hard-on.
“Some of you seems to like it,” you point out.
“Out here? With him here? You want your daddy to kill me?”
“No,” you promise, “No, I just want you to fuck me.”
“Jesus Christ you’re trouble–”
You both hear a toilet flush, and, moments later, footsteps descend on the stairs.
Logan adjusts himself again, and you blow him a kiss as he tromps back to his seat.
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It’s a week before you see Logan again. He’s working late this week, apparently. Or maybe he’s just keeping his distance from you.
On Friday night, you debate going out. It’s been a while, and you could use a chance to unwind. But drinks are expensive, and– and you see a fire out your window. Logan sits out by his fire pit.
Without thinking, you put on your shoes.
It’s late, but not too late. Your dad’s on his recliner, game on TV, newspaper in hand.
“You headin’ out, kiddo?” he asks.
“Yep,” you lie, “Meeting a couple friends downtown. They’re picking me up!”
“Stay safe,” he calls after you, “Call me if you need a ride.”
“I will,” you tell him. “Don’t know if I’ll be home tonight. Don’t wait up for me!”
You head out of the house and through your neighbor’s gate. 
Logan is golden, illuminated in the glow of the flames. He’s whittling something, angrily.
You realize then that your entrance has been near-silent on the soft grass. “Uh,” you clear you throat and knock on his fence as you approach him. “Hey, there, neighbor!”
Logan looks up and frowns when he sees you.
“You are makin’ me crazy, Trouble.” he huffs.
“Like, in a good way?” you ask.
He glares at you.
You come closer. “Can I sit?”
Logan budges up, putting down his whittling tools.
“So…” you venture “Am I more trouble than I’m worth?”
Logan scoffs.
“Nah.” he concedes, “I just don’t wanna make things complicated.”
You shrug. “They’re already complicated. You’ve seen my tits.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Goddammit, Trouble. I can’t get you out of my head.”
“They’re great tits,” you shrug.
“They are great tits.” Logan agrees.
The fire is crackling and the night is clear, stars hanging above you. You've been sitting side by side, quiet.
You don’t know what to say. Maybe there isn't anything to say. You’ve been patient, dammit. You just need to leap.
You pull him towards you and he moves without resistance.
He growls into your mouth, a needy animal sound. The scruff of his beard feels nice against your chin and you’re dizzy with his proximity, with his lips on yours.
After an eternity in the space of a single moment, you pull apart.
Logan stares at you, overwhelmed. His eyes are dark, his kiss-glistened lips catching the light as the fire dances. 
He presses the pads of his fingertips against his lips in the aftermath, as though either trying to capture the feeling, or banish it from memory.
Then, after a long moment, he’s on you. His hands grip you, grasp you, trace the shape of your body as though memorizing it by touch alone. 
“Inside. Now.” he growls, “Out here you’re askin’ for your daddy to catch us.”
You’re barely through the door before Logan is tugging at your clothes. You help him pull your top above your head, and you fumble with the button of your jeans as he unhooks his belt and yanks off his beater.
In a matter of moments, you’re both fully bare. His skin is hot against yours as he holds you to him, caging you against the door as he drags his teeth along your shoulder. His hard cock hangs against your thigh, heavy and thick and leaking.
Your clothes trail from the front door to his sofa. You don’t make it any further than that.
You’re a ticking time bomb, a siren, pulling him in, driving him wild. He wants and wants and wants, more than he ever knew he could. So much could be ruined; his friendship with your dad, the scrap of reputation he’s been building, his new life in this new place—
But now his want has turned into a need, and feeling you soft and pliant and oh so willing against him, he’d be a fool to turn back now.
Logan’s gropes at you, fingernails digging into the swell of your ass before cupping your pussy in one large palm. Rubbing up and down your cunt, he smears your wetness around.
“You’re fucking dripping,” he gasps. “Prettiest pussy I’ve seen.” 
Then he dips a finger into you and you groan and clench around it. He fucks you with it, deep, gentle strokes. He wasn’t wrong. As he fucks you with his finger, you feel how unbelievably wet you are. When he pulls back for a moment, you can see his hand is glistening with you, drips going all the way to his wrist.
“I can take more,” you promise, and he growls. 
“Can’t say shit like that,” he pants, “You’re sure you can take more. Can you take me? Don’t wanna hurt–”
“I can take you,” you assure him. If you’re honest, you don’t know if you can. What you do know is that you’re sure as fuck gonna try.
“How do you want me?” he asks, fighting to maintain the last shreds of his self-control.
Ever the masochist, “Want you on top of me, my ankles round your shoulders. Need you deep.”
“Gonna fuckin’ kill me.”
You lay back as he positions himself between your thighs. He presses a kiss to your left thigh before he hikes it over his right shoulder, and a kiss to your right calf, folding you in half.
He strokes the dripping head of his cock against your folds.
“You ready?” he asks, and you whine in desperation, nodding a yes.
He presses in, notching the tip inside. You groan at the sensation, relaxing into it as he rocks his hips gently.
“Doin’ so good,” he praises, “I know, baby, it’s a lot.”
You writhe and moan. It is a lot, but you still want more. More of his cock, of his hands on your body, of his praise.
“Taking it so well,” he soothes, letting his cock slide that little bit deeper inside, pulling most of the way out and driving back in, pressing whispers in your ear as he fucks into you.
When his pelvis is pressed flush against you, he lets out a sigh. 
“Look at that,” he huffs, “Takin’ all of me.”
You look down and watch enraptured as he pulls out and presses back in, deeper than you ever imagined, and rolls his hips, coarse hair grinding against your clit and making you howl.
”Keep making those pretty noises for me, honey.”
”Need more-“ you beg.
He starts rocking his hips, building a solid rhythm. His strokes are deep and devastating, and with every thrust you can feel your wetness start to flood down your thighs and cream around the base of his cock.
The wetter you get, the harder he fucks into you, each plunge punctuated with your cries, of “Yes!”, “More—“, “Please, Logan, please—“
Generous to a fault, he gives you everything you beg for.
The frustration of these longing, pent-up weeks is almost a forgotten memory. As you build towards the peak of your pleasure, the man above you is an animal. He grunts and pants and fucks you deeper than you knew possible. Your whines and cries and demands taper off, replaced by soft moans that start to swell as he litters your collarbone with kisses and rubs a calloused thumb against your clit.
”I’m—“ you warn, struggling to form words, “I’m gonna—“
 “‘M close too,” he grunts, “Give it to me, baby, need to feel you— Please, baby—“
With his words and a firm press to your clit, you come with a sob, cunt squeezing around him in pulsing contractions.
He fucks you through it, muttering a steady stream of filth the whole time. “That’s it, that’s it, fuck you’re gushing, soaking this cock. You feel so fucking good, tight little thing stretched so nice around me, taking it all like you’re made for it—”
Before you can even get over the first climax, the second starts to build. Logan can feel the way your pussy twitches for him, the way your breath shudders as he drives into you with staggering thrusts.
”Gonna cum again, aren’t you?” He growls. “Good-“ a thrust, “fucking—“, thrust, “girl—“ thrust, “Just can’t get enough of this cock, can you?”
You try to answer, but all that comes out is a cry as another orgasm overtakes you.
"That’s it,” the praises, still punctuating every word with a thrust, “That’s it! Let yourself feel it, let yourself feel good—"
You do, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through you. It’s overwhelming, the way it tears through you with no end in sight.
When he finally pulls out of you, you start to come back to yourself, your life-changing orgasm starting to wane.
He’s beautiful above you, covered in sweat, your wetness dripping down his thighs as he strokes his creamy cock.
With a groan, he comes on your stomach. You wrap your hand around his, stroking him gently till every drop is spent.
You make room for him on the sofa, uncaring that both of you are covered in sweat and fluids, and pull him down to rest in your arms.
"Fuck—" he exhales, and finally turns to face you again.
You stroke your fingers through your mussed hair.
"I knew you were trouble,” he murmurs, pressing kisses to your sternum.
There are so many things you’ll need to talk about, to work through. You are neighbors, after all, and you can’t do something like this without there being an aftermath.
But whatever is next can wait till morning.
Gently, he pulls himself up, and you with him. Holding each other close, you head to his bedroom. Without a word, you lay together, curled up in one another’s embrace.
He’s silent a long moment before speaking. "Is your daddy expecting you home tonight?” He asks. Neither of you want to think about that.
But thankfully, “No,” you tell him. “Told him not to wait up.”
"Oh, optimistic, were we?” He teases, and you look him up and down. His broad shoulders, sculpted chest, dark eyes, rumpled hair. This man you’ve grown so very fond of. 
“Yes,” you smile. “Yes, we are.”
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Scott finds out, like, a day later and declares Logan his sworn enemy
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floralcavern · 14 days ago
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No. I refuse to believe that Vivziepop actually cares about SA victims. Every piece of evidence points to the contrary. 
CW for images that discuss or showcase rape. Tread cautiously.
First, let’s look at the Glitz and Glam Valentines merch. In this merch, they’re seen groping each other and making a scissoring pose.
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The common excuse for this is that they’re just playing into those twincest tropes because that’s their whole brand in the show. But the merch exists outside of the show. This merch was not made in the show to show how the porn company will do any depraved fetish for a quick buck. This merch was made for people in the real world, people who have actual twincest fetishes. You can have merch of them playing into the fact that they’re twins without making it to where they are sexualizing one another like that.  An example of this trope done right are Hikaru and Kaoru from Ouran High School Host Club. These 2 often times play into the twincest trope for money, it’s their whole brand. But the show is very clear in showing us that this is not truly them. We never see them behave this way outside of work. Outside of work, they act like actual brothers. They’re doing it just for money. (And it’s also kind of trauma, but watch OHSHC if you want to see that in depth lol)
I was discussing something with my friend, how fiction does affect reality, since fiction is a direct byproduct of reality, which is why things like incest or age gap ships are inherently wrong. My friend (who is a big Hannibal fan) goes “I get where you’re coming from and I agree, but I’m also a simp for fictional cannibals.” And to that I said you are less likely to meet someone who is a cannibal or done that heinous crime than you are to find someone who’s a victim to incest abuse. It’s similar to how Vox doesn’t receive hate from the fandom for killing lower income workers, because that’s almost cartoonish in how bad it is.
Then there’s Val. The show is constantly fluctuating between him between a genuine, sinister threat and then him being a ridiculously silly evil man that we shouldn���t take seriously. I can almost understand what they’re going for, showing that he’s an absolute loser that we’re meant to point and laugh at, because he is a loser (fuck sexual abusers). However, there’s a huge disconnect. It’s jarring when you switch between the two on a dime. And I think part of the reason they do this is because of his relationship with Vox. Vox is meant to be a silly, goofy villain and so pairing him with the genuine sinister and disgusting version of Val that we all know and hate, it would feel weird. But here’s the thing. NONE of the Vees should feel cartoonish and stupid like this. They’re supposed to be perceived as actual threats, apparently. So, instead, make Vox genuinely sinister and evil too! ACKNOWLEDGE HIS CAMERA IN ANGEL’S DRESSING ROOM! ACKNOWLEDGE HIM MARKETING VAL’S DATE RAPE DRUG! Don’t add these background details if you’re not going to acknowledge that Vox is a predator as well. 
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And then there’s Charlie, who has the power and authority to take Val down if she wanted to. But why doesn’t she? Because, in her words, “That would be so meaaaaan.” …I have nothing to say to that. 
And then there’s Angel. He is not deep in the slightest. They tried so hard but failed miserably. He’s supposedly from a mafia background. You would never know because he’s never seen outside of anything sexual. Sex jokes, comments on how he’s sexy, talking about how he’s a sex worker, all that jazz. He has nothing going for him outside of sex. Which is bad when his whole arc is meant to be how he hates being sexualized deep down! I understand that the show is trying to show us that he’s hypersexualizing himself because of his trauma. But this rings hollow when the show refuses to show us literally anything outside of him being sexual! Apparently, he likes to sing and dance. But you wouldn’t know that! (I know he sings, BUT EVERYONE SINGS. IT’S A MUSICAL. Even Vaggie sings when she clearly didn’t like it in the first episode, so Poison doesn’t count). You wouldn’t know anything about his interests because all he’s used for is for sex. It doesn’t help that literally almost all of his merch surrounds him being sexualized in some way, feeding into the idea of him hypersexualizing himself not being taken seriously. 
This is especially bad when you remember that when Viv was marketing the music video for Poison, THIS WOMAN MADE A CUM JOKE! Yknow, the music video all about sexual abuse? Ya, let’s make a stupid sex pun because that’s not tone deaf at all! Fuck you Viv.
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And only certain characters get their sexual abuse shined on. But if you’re, say, Blitzo, Sir Pentious, or Husk, your SA experience is completely swept under the rug and ignored. Why? Well, because Blitzo and Husk are more masculine characters than her twinks who get acknowledged for their abuse. And Pentious is a character we’re supposed to be pointing and laughing at. 
And don’t even get me started on Raphielle. This person is a storyboard artist for the show, and the storyboard artist for Poison. AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS A RAPE FETISH! I kid you not! This person has even drawn art of Angel being raped by Vox and Val. I refuse to believe Viv cares about abuse victims when she has someone like this on her pay roll (whom she actively defends, mind you). She even lied, saying that this person is a victim of sexual abuse, to which this person admitted was a LIE. 
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Also, how she treats fans who are also victims of SA. Everytime someone comes forward, saying that they didn’t like the depiction of sexual abuse in the show, Viv will dogpile on them (the most famous example of this being Limus). But then if a fan who is a victim of SA praises the depiction, she will put them on a pedestal. This is tokenization at its finest!
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And, hey, let’s talk about Viv’s catcalling comic, too!
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In this comic, two women are being catcalled. One hates it and the other likes it, saying that it means they’re attractive. The one who hates it then starts yelling at the other girl and based on the framing of the scene, it feels we’re supposed to hate the first girl and think that the second girl was right. FUCK. THAT. This comic could’ve been such an interesting commentary on victim blaming and unhealthily coping with SA by justifying it to yourself. But no. That’s not what was done here. Great. 
EDIT:
I feel like this video is also appropriate to add here
This was her response to people’s criticism about how she handles SA in her shows. She dresses up as the rapist from her shows, flaunts around, and says he’s based on her. Classy.
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backwardsbread · 1 year ago
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Hazbin Hotel:
Human!Alastor x Housewife!Reader
~Understanding Asexuality~
Warnings‼️- Established relationship, angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy, fem!reader, maybe OOC Alastor??, mentions of cannibalism but only for like one sentence.
Setting is Alastor’s time period, 1900-1930s.
A/N: I hope I did Alastor’s character justice! He might be slightly out of character?? I can’t imagine him actually getting in a relationship, I mean man is literally a serial killer- so I tried- ENJOY
~I would also like to say, I am not asexual or aromatic myself. This is just my take on Alastor’s sexuality/how he handles it. If I made any mistakes, please correct me but I tried to be as respectful as possible. I tried to do some research on the history of asexuality during the time period, but remember I am not perfect and this is a FAKE scenario with a FICTIONAL character.~
You like to think you know your husband like the back of your hand.
The two of you got married young, falling hard for the young radio host was easy. Many other maidens had, their affections for Alastor painfully obvious. All the while Alastor had no plans on perusing any of the women who fancied him. He was love blind, not really understanding the amount of people attracted to him, or why they were.
What wasn’t to like? He was an attractive young man, charming, and a true gentleman. But the idea of settling down, having to commit himself to one individual the rest of his life, didn’t appeal to him.
Especially with how tainted his brain was with his little hobbies.
He never got the special feeling everyone spoke about. Butterflies, increased heart palpitations, sweaty palms. The mere thought of it was enough to have his face contorting in mild disgust.
That opinion didn’t change when he met you. There was no ‘love at first sight’ feeling for him. You were polite and put together and that was something Alastor could appreciate. He didn’t quite understand your advances towards him. Seeing your interest towards him as friendly banter, while you saw his reactions to it as rejection.
You accepted his dismissal of your feelings, knowing you had given it your best shot. It didn’t stop Alastor from adoring your company. Whether it be on the dance floor or attending the diner you worked at. You were an incredible friend to him, nothing more.
Safe to say, Alastor didn’t suddenly catch feelings for you. There was no sudden change in his feelings.
But there were whispers
Unwanted Attention being brought on Alastor.
Gossip was high. Many mouths questioning Alastor’s true intent with you. Why was he always along side such a pretty thing without courting her? Were the two of you involved in secret affairs?
The theories grew, and while Alastor loved the attention being a radio host brought him, gossip was bad if he needed to keep his personal life under wraps. Besides, what kind of gentleman would he be if he let others tarnish your good name? Getting with you was more of an effort to fit into norms rather than it being for ‘true love’.
Slowly he showed signs of affection towards you. Holding your hand in public, taking you on more proper dates, even kissing your cheek once or twice when he saw hushed whispers from nearby crowds. The affection was sudden, but not unwelcome to you. Your feelings had never truly gone away for the radio host, and you pinned his original rejections on him being shy.
It wasn’t long after his advances he asked your official partnership. To be frank, you were easy and Alastor needed a cover. His true intentions were cruel, but you were blindsided by your longtime crush and friend being interested in you.
But you weren’t completely naïve.
While yes, you loved Alastor with all your heart, you knew in the back of your mind he had ulterior motivations. Every chaste kiss, every hand hold, every hug, felt rushed and nervous. Your whole relationship with Alastor felt fast paced, as only a few months after having the gall to ask you out, he was asking you to marry him.
It felt forced.
The feeling you tried to ignore, hoping it was just your insecurities causing the sinking feeling in your gut. You of course said yes to Alastor’s proposal. Knowing deep down you loved him and should not question if he did so in return.
Before you knew it, you were dressed in white in front friends and family, listening to wedding bells chime gleefully.
You could recall joyous laughter and dancing, talking about your soon future with the radio host whose last name you had now shared. Sharing drinks with friends to celebrate you ‘winning’ over Alastor. It all moved so fast yet you were happy with the results.
Alastor couldn’t have agreed more considering the chatter about the two of you had died down ever since his proposal. (Besides a few heartbroken maidens who heard the handsome host was officially off the market) Less eyes were on him which was good for the estranged hobbies he would indulge in.
You and Alastor moved in together and it felt like smooth sailing.
Until the next thing people expected from the two of you. That of course being children.
Alastor and you would constantly hear all about the subject from your mother, who was desperate to have some grandkids running around. At the mention of children you felt flustered and embarrassed, considering you and Alastor had yet to be intimate with one another.
It was through the subject, however, that sinking feeling returned. As your mother rambled on about grandchildren, you occasionally piped in with your own opinion. When your husband realized having children was something you actually wanted, you caught him grimacing at the idea.
The look he gave made your heart feel heavy in your chest. The sinking only worsened when he begrudgingly agreed with your mother, saying how the two of you would provide her with grandchildren with time.
Forced.
You felt guilty. You knew Alastor was lying with his words. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to seduce your husband before. It was actually something you expected to happen and for the radio host to initiate.
Alastor would be lying if he said he didn’t start to feel genuine fondness towards you. You knew him well, better than any other friend he had.
You knew his schedule, his habits, his preferences. It scared him how much you could read his mind like a book. All the reason more to keep you sheltered away from how cruel of a man he truly was.
You were simply too good for him. Too innocent.
But when it came to intimacy, the radio host showed absolutely no interest. Coming up with one excuse after another to not be intimate with you. His rejection left you feeling unwanted and almost abandoned. Your own husband didn’t seem to enjoy your affections and it hurt your heart. You started to question if you were the cause of his discomfort. Was he just not attracted to you? Were you being too pushy?
Your mind even wandered to the late nights Alastor would stay out. Was he seeing someone else, perhaps? He could have anyone he wanted really, despite your marriage, there were many women who would still flirt with him. Had one caught his eye that he favored over you?
Anxiety and insecurity riddled your body for a long time before you started to search for possible answers. After work, you would head to a library of the outskirts of town. You didn’t want anyone you knew possibly catching you wildly scanning through books for possible answers.
The library didn’t provide much comfort. You found unsatisfactory answers, many of which ended in advice on how to ‘properly seduce a man’.
You didn’t want to force your husband to be intimate with you. Making desperate attempts that would ultimately be denied as they had been in the past.
You dug a little deeper, with a lot of the same results. You were just at your wits end with all the repetitive failure to find anything that felt right. However, one article caught your eye. A book that had dusted over from the lack of acknowledgment. Out of luck you reached for it, hoping to find any answers. Reading through the contents, it opened a whole new world of terminology and knowledge about a community you didn’t know existed.
You found comfort knowing there were possibly other people like your husband. That his rejections could possibly be the cause of something else other than you. You decided to take the article home with you, along with a few others, to read into it more at home.
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Through your research, you had started to understand your husband’s behavior more and more. You wouldn’t truly know the answers unless you had simply asked him, but at the same time, it felt better to consider this an option than to believe something was wrong with your marriage.
There were other people who exhibited traits your husband showed when it came to intimacy. Those who didn’t enjoy such pleasures or desires. It was a spectrum, one that you had never heard of. But it all made sense the more you read into different people’s experiences.
Some people’s stories you read stated how intimacy rarely crossed their mind. Before, you had only heard stories of friends being hyper sexual, with high sex drive that would oftentimes cause high gossip. It made sense that there were bound to be people at the other end of the stick, who felt the opposite. Of course they could acknowledge it was a thing. However the need/want to experience such things would rarely and sometimes never spark. It didn’t make these people strange or less human, it was simply how they felt.
You hear the door swing open, interrupting your thoughts. You swear to yourself silently, hurrying to close the books and articles you were reading up on. You shove the disorganized papers into the large book, then shove it underneath the table, out of view. You stand, brushing off your dress, and quickly go over to the stove.
“Hi honey! You’re home early.” You shout across the house to your husband. You grab your apron, messily tying the back of it.
“Oh I finished up early today, thought you would enjoy the surprise.” Alastor’s voice responds, his footsteps approaching the kitchen.
Grabbing a pot, you fill it with water as Alastor enters the room. He approaches you, putting a finger under your chin and bringing you closer. He gives your cheek a small peck, his fingers barely grazing your hip.
Forced.
You smile towards your lover, setting the full pot over the unlit stovetop. Adrenaline runs through your veins as you watch Alastor go and sit at the table. You clear your throat, avoiding looking at your husband. You open up the cabinets, looking around for ingredients to start on supper.
“How was your day, love?” You ask, trying to be as casual as you could. Alastor caught on to your anxiety, but decided to ignore it. He hummed, adjusting his glasses on his face.
“As normal as any other, dear. There was actually quite the crazy story, today about-..” Alastor went on about his radio show and the topics he had covered. You nod occasionally to show you could hear him, but his words didn’t really process in your head. You couldn’t focus with you heart drumming in your ears. Pulling out random ingredients from the cabinets, trying to think of anything to make for dinner, Alastor continues to speak. His voice a source of comfort despite him unknowingly being the cause of your anxious behavior.
“..they apparently continued their actions anyway! Don’t these men have any class? I swear to you the nerve of… some.. folk..” You tuned back into Alastor’s rambling just as he hear him start to trail off. You hear his seat pull back, making a creaking noise as he leans back and looks under the table. Feeling his gaze on you for a moment, you don’t dare to look back at your husband. He had seen what you tried to poorly hide.
Alastor leans down, grabbing the book with articles sticking out of the side. He hums, opening the book a skimming over the contents of what he found.
“Darling, what’s all this?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing as he read through the article. Tensing at his tone, you avoid looking towards him and keep quiet. Your mind racing almost as fast as your heart. Your voice was caught in your throat, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse.
It takes a moment to gain your composure. Eventually you speak, after clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the lump stuck there.
“I was just.. doing some reading.. on uhm..” Gosh, this was embarrassing to admit. Your face flushes to pink as you continue, “I just had some concerns.. I suppose I was feeling a bit insecure about our relationship-..”
“Our relationship?” Alastor questions, staring daggers into your back. His tone showing signs of irritation and discomfort. You turn towards your husband. There was no hiding how you felt now. You couldn’t lie to him when he had the evidence in his hands.
“I.. suppose I was worried.. for my own selfish reasons. I got to wondering why you didn’t seem attracted.. to me.” Alastor glares slightly at your words, drumming his fingers against the table. He knew exactly what you meant with your words, his nose instinctively cringing up in mild disgust. He opens his mouth to speak again, but is cut off quickly by you.
“I know it’s something silly to be concerned about, it shouldn’t be a concern at all. I shouldn’t have questioned you. Dare I say it was wrong of me.” You quickly tried to explain to ease your husbands silent anger.
Alastor stayed quiet, teeth gritting as his all too fake smile cracked at the seems. He felt on edge. He couldn’t have you questioning him like this, opening him up and making him vulnerable. You made him question how well he was really hiding his true identity. You could tap in to what he was feeling and it irked him. He cleared his throat, interwining his fingers together to create a cradle for his chin to sit.
“I don’t see how your concerns are important, dear. Our relationship is fine without such activities. Do you not believe that to be true? I love you, do I not?” Alastor asked, a small smile plastered on his face.
Forced
“Do you?” You find yourself asking before you can process the question yourself. Alastor’s wide eyes make you replay your words. You gasp, covering your mouth with both hands. What were you thinking??
Both you and your husband stay quiet for a period of time, staring at each other with wide eyes. Alastor breaks his gaze, looking towards the wallpaper design in the kitchen that suddenly interested him. Your voice catches in your throat. It felt like you couldn’t speak for what felt like forever. Heavy weight on your chest when you uttered the question you’d been keeping inside since you said your I do’s.
Taking a breath to regain yourself, you look towards the stove. Scattered abandoned ingredients of what dinner was supposed to be left there. You glance towards Alastor, voice barely a whisper as you speak to him.
“I understand..” Your muttered voice doesn’t reach him, causing him to look at you and turn his head. You see him in your peripheral vision, then repeat yourself;
“I understand if you don’t.. or if you don’t want to partake in any.. intimate actions with me..” You start, grabbing a potato that had been abandoned on the counter. You start to rinse it under the sink water.
“From what I’ve read, you’re not alone. There apparently are men and women alike who don’t share an interest for sexual acts and behaviors. You’re not the only one..”
“I’m not accusing you of anything.. I’m not trying.. to make you feel bad. I just wanted to understand.. and I do. Please let me.”
Alastor stares at you while you speak. His silence feels like rejection. The same rejection you felt when you had first met him, but this was worse. Your heart ached, your chest felt tight, and your eyes felt like they were drowning in welled up tears.
You loved Alastor.
But never would you force him to return it.
You hear your husband stand from his place at the table, slow steps walking towards you. You feel his presence behind you. You silently prepare yourself for an onslaught of ‘how dare you’s and ‘who do you think you are’s.
Instead you feel warm hands hook underneath your arms, pulling you back towards Alastor’s body. Your body tenses, as you drop the vegetable you were once washing into the sink. Alastor leaned forward, resting his nose in the crook of your neck. Leaning down and hugging you tight.
Flood gates open as soft tears spill down your flushed cheeks. You gently hold onto Alastor’s arm with one hand, trying to stay perfectly still as if your husband were a stray animal. As if you move, he’d flinch away.
Alastor pulls away from your neck, looking at your face. His hand reaches up, standing straight, as he caresses one of your cheeks. He smears the tears across your cheek in an attempt to wipe them away, before leaning into you. Breath hitting yours before his lips meet yours.
Authentic
You’d never felt such a gentle and loving kiss from your husband. It felt so genuine and kind. You kiss back weakly, only hoping to make him feel the warm feeling he gave you.
Alastor never truly did understand his admiration for you. He never regretted marrying you. Of course you were always a good friend for him, one that he would work hard to keep safe. To keep you hidden away from who he was. Your happiness was always in the back of his mind as an essential. Sure he hated how you read him so easily, like it was second nature. But he hated it because if you knew the truth, you wouldn’t be safe.
He hated it because a part of him did love you.
Pulling away from the kiss, Alastor keeps you close to him, watching more soft tears fall down your face. He brings his other hand up, letting you face him while he grabs out a handkerchief from his pocket. Gently dabbing away the tears on your face, he looks at you with such soft eyes. Such genuine eyes.
“Thank you.” Is all he says. It wasn’t a satisfying answer. You wanted more than anything a long list of answers to all your worries.
But invisible weight lifts off your shoulders. Closing your eyes and letting out a breath that felt much deserved to let go. It was a solution, an answer no matter how much it truly did explain. You had made an effort to understand your husband, when most would force their ways through the barriers he set around himself. That was something Alastor could appreciate.
He never understood why you took the time in your life to be patient. Be understanding. How an angel like you ended up with the demon he was.
But he hoped you wouldn’t regret it just the way he never regretted you.
——————————BONUS———————————
“…and I told her, if she ever had a problem with him again, take it up with me! And just like that, her husband was on a platter! Such a shame, his body was almost as disgusting as his behavior!”
Alastor sipped his tea as he listened to Rosie ramble. He never broke his gaze away from her, hanging on to every word she had to say. He delicately set down his cup on the porcelain saucer. Everything about Rosie.. her charm, her personality, her humor.
It all lead back to the thought of you. Someone he admired and felt comfortable with.
“Are you alright, Al? You’re kinda gawking over there..” Rosie asked, practically seeing the gears turning in Alastor’s head. Alastor blinked out of his thoughts, watching Rosie give a smile at him and tilt her head.
“I’m fine, dear, it’s just..” Alastor glanced to the side, his signature smile softening into something genuine. “You remind me of someone.” He explained quietly.
The mention raised Rosie’s interest, ready for any gossip Alastor had to spill. She leaned in close, grinning ear to ear. “Ooo! Don’t be shy, who do I remind ya of?”
Alastor looked at Rosie and he could’ve sworn that in her midnight eyes, he could see yours. Staring back at him through his soul. How could he describe you? Someone who just knew him despite how hard he tried to hide. Someone who acknowledged him over and over again despite his own uncertainties.
“She was the dearest darling to ever grace the earth.” Alastor found himself muttering. Rosie melted at the compliment he not only gave you, but her as well. She saw genuine adoration in the radio demons eyes when he spoke of you.
While what you had with Alastor wasn’t entirely real, he wouldn’t have exchanged your marriage for anything. After all, when everyone else didn’t and refused to.
You understood.
844 notes · View notes
anika-ann · 9 months ago
Text
A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events - S.R.
Part 1 of 2
Type: two-shot, idiots-in-love, feel-good fic
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader   Word Count: 7,3k
Summary:  It's just a bunch of Avengers and SHIELD agents who often cooperate on missions - hanging out and getting to know each other better on a camping trip. What could possibly go wrong?
A few things. A few things could and they all seem to have you at the centre. Luckily, you have a hero in shining armour to help you in the time of need.
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Warnings: allusions to NSFW, minor injuries, mention of misogyny, brief reference to PTSD, language, attempt at humour, FLUFF , Steve being a menace
A/N: written for the Essie’s Summer Lovin’ 300 Follower Celebration. Congrats @bigtreefest and thank you for hosting 💕 I have chosen multiple prompts - in this one, you shall find “why’s it…sticky?” and modified “here, you can share with me”. I hope to finish the second part in time 😁
A/N 2: DIVIDER by @firefly-graphics; enjoy y'all 🥰 Several Agent of SHIELD characters are involved - I don't think you need any knowledge of the show to read this
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The afternoon North Carolina sun warmed your skin pleasantly, even as you found yourself panting after the having climbed up the hill you. The backpack with an attached sleeping bag and a tent pack was growing heavier and heavier on your shoulders with every step, but the view and the company – most of it anyway – were certainly worth it.
Everyone seemed affected by the fresh air and exercise the Great Smokey Mountains provided, the atmosphere light and content as this was, for most, the first trip in a long time that had nothing to do with a mission.
Sure, one could argue there were some strings attached, as the ‘mission’ was to solidify relationships within the group – several Avengers and several SHIELD agents who were often outsourced for Avengers-level missions – but still: no one was shooting at you. And you wouldn’t have to write a report. That counted for something. For a lot, in fact.
Plus, the path was the goal. The destination, while set precisely according to Steve’s plan, might as well be just about anywhere.
You glanced at him as he walked by your side, smiling absently. The corners of his lips only twitched higher as he noticed you watching him, his gaze flickering to you as well.
He looked as if he was born to do this. A halo of dark blond hair around his head ruffled by the wind, sunlight painting them almost golden. The heaviest backpack of all sitting on his wide shoulders, straps around his broad chest and thin waist. Legs clad in light track pants that hugged his thighs and ass in the best way possible, a downright magnetic sight--- no.
Uh-huh, no.
No thoughts of that sort. You had forbidden yourself from that, at least for the duration of this trip, because you had known Steve would be a literal walking thirst-trap, the sheer happiness surrounding him making his glow ten times brighter. You had forbidden yourself from thinking like this, because this was not an appropriate observation to make about a colleague, a superior no less, even as everybody else probably thought along the same lines.
It didn’t matter that you wanted to throw hands at the mere idea of someone else making that observation as well. You didn’t exactly have the right to do that and it was a lost fight before it even started. Steve Rogers was simply too beautiful and essentially perfect in all his imperfections, and god knew that those imperfection had nothing to with his body. Ass included-
Gaze quickly snapping up back to his face, you found him smiling at you warmly, a soft dusting of freckles adorning his cheeks from the prolonged exposure to sun. The same phenomenon could be observed on his bare arms; a constellation of freckles, where angels had kissed their kindest, prettiest and most loyal creation; a constellation of places where you’d love to press your lips and linger, breathe in the scent of his skin and taste it.
God, he was breathtaking and all kinds of alluring. The nature around you was too, sure, the smell of pines and sandy rocks whispering of vacations and good times, but the way he-
“Whoa!” you yelped as you suddenly found yourself tumbling towards the ground, foot having slipped on a rock, you supposed.
Hands outstretched, you had no chance to break the fall, only to slow it, the burden on your back completely changing your momentum.
The second your palms as much as brushed the rocky floor, you were being held by your waist so firmly that none of your actual weight landed on the ground. You would recognize the arms holding you anywhere – just like the scent of sandal wood, musk, man and comfort, suddenly wrapping around you.
The safest place on Earth.
Steve’s arms.
Your stomach made a little flip-flop as his hands squeezed you gently and helped you up, only releasing you when his eyes found yours, silently asking if you were okay.
You responded with an embarrassed smile.
“Whoa, you okay?” Daisy rushed to your side, bless her, breaking the brief moment you had allowed yourself to bask in the sweet worry in Steve’s gaze and in the heat his body was radiating, despite the fact you could feel everyone staring at the newly nominated klutz of the group of superspies. You.
Heat of embarrassment flooded your skin under everyone’s scrutiny – and more so under the judgement in Agent Hopkinson’s glare, the jerk. Then again, you could hardly blame him for looking down on you right now.
Allegedly one of the deadliest agents known to the world; bested by a few rocks on a hiking trail and Steve Rogers’s smile.
You chuckled self-deprecatingly, quietly thanking Steve and turning to Daisy to assure her that besides your pride, nothing had been seriously wounded.
“I’m fine,” you said, scratching your forehead with a poor attempt to hide your embarrassment. “Must have missed a step, I don’t even know how…”
You did know how. You knew it precisely. You hadn’t been watching your step, too mesmerized by the beauty of your favourite Captain – and favourite person in the world. The man with the most honest, goodest, fiercest and most beautiful soul you had ever met, your closest friend.
“I do,” Agent Melinda May commented dryly, a pointed look aimed at your feet, revealing the culprit – and making you wish the Earth could swallow you, especiallysince it was her, the second in command at SHIELD – and one of the most admirable women in history of anything. And she had just seen you, an agent for both Avengers and SHIELD, a master of martial arts, to trip on nothing like a five-year-old. For the same reason too. “Your shoelaces are undone.”
“…thanks. And sorry. Go ahead. I think I can tie my shoelaces on my own,” you chuckled again, swallowing the shame even as you were among friends. Albeit some of them more reluctant than others.
“Clearly not,” Agent Hopkinson remarked, not missing the opportunity to belittle you, making you sigh as you crouched down, taking extreme care not to as much as wobble despite the heavy backpack.
Case on point, you supposed.
Having worked for SHIELD for years now, acting as the main liaison for situations where Avengers needed help, be it due to too many hostiles or the nature of the job leaning more towards spy-work that alien-invasion-work, your general experience was that tolerance and cooperation were the way. Some people were less pleasant than others, that much was true, but one should handle disagreements, various personality traits and different views on life. You certainly could; your approach to conflict, your supposedly calming presence and search for harmony in a team and the calm composure you maintained under pressure to quickly weigh your options, had even earned you your codename, Libra.
You genuinely believed tuning down an attitude for the sake of the mission was the custom, the golden rule.
And then you encountered Agent Martin Hopkinson. He was the exception. And a pain in your ass.
He got along alright with most people despite his arrogance; but you and him were a trainwreck happening in slow motion. He did not like you. Whether it was jealousy of your position, misogyny, or both, or something completely else, you wouldn’t know. But he was bitter and biting, always looking for a flaw, always making snidey comments.
You could handle that – an insult here, a mean comment there. After all, you could take a punch, a stab, a gunshot wound. You could take down men twice your size with your bare hands and just a little wit, if you tried hard enough. You had faced soldiers, rapists, murderers; Agent Hopkinson was but a small hindrance, annoyance on legs. But by god, your fists itched whenever he opened his mouth. And the feeling was mutual.
However, as a professional, you worked hard not to reciprocate his aggression, even as it only ever remained verbal; the same could not be said about him. And he didn’t care zilch about who heard him be ‘smart’ with you either, which, in turn, led to several reprimands; and on one delightful occasion, to Steve almost breaking his jaw when he heard him utter a comment about Coulson pimping out the pet agent again, clearly meaning you. The wrath Steve had showed was nothing hort of holy, and holy was the miracle that Hopkinson was still alive; the fact he barely toned down his attitude was just idiocy.
But had you mention Steve was an angel? A fiercely loyal protective friend, a gentleman, who might swear on occasion and be a little shit par excellence, but god should help anyone whose behaviour towards others offended him. He might be an angel, but was an avenging one.
A caring one too.
As soon as you stood up again, Steve was carefully cradling the backs of your hands, examining the teeny scrapes over your palms with about five droplets of blood in total, frowny gaze flickering to your knee which you hadn’t even realized you had grazed too.
“We should disinfect that.”
“Steve, I’m fine,” you laughed, even as you let him examine the barely-there bleeding, knowing there was no use trying to resist. “Thank you for caring, but it’s literally just a scratch… I’ve had worse.”
He shook his head, his expression darkening a bit. “That’s not comforting and you know it. And any wound, if infected, can be dangerous – I know I don’t have to tell you that.”
You knew instantly what instance he was referring too, a small shudder running up your spine. Yet, the rational part of you argued that there was no comparison, even if the cut on your arm over a month back had not been all that deeper and wider than this.
“That was literally a poisoned blade, Steve-“
“We were about to take one more break before reaching the destination anyway,” he interrupted you, unrelenting. “Let’s head up to that clearing and we’ll rest for a bit. I’ll take care of it, okay?”
“Steve-“
“I’ve got the first aid kit,” Bobbi uttered nonchalantly as she passed you, joining the others who had gone ahead already.
You sighed. Bobbi Morse – an agent with a clever sense of humour, sharp tongue and no-nonsense attitude, a good friend – and she was using all of her powers against you. Wicked.
“It’s just a-“
“Captain’s orders,” she almost sing-sang, earning a grin from Daisy who only shrugged, as if to confirm her words.
You sighed, rolling your eyes; acutely not aware that Steve was still holding your hands in his and your body was heating up from inside at the prolonged contact – particularly your chest and something deep within your belly.
You looked up at him, mildly annoyed and rather amused at his insistence and protectiveness. And even though you wouldn't admit that out loud, touched.
“You’re overbearing. You’re lucky I like you,” you scolded him in a whisper.
He only grinned, his worried gaze clearing and lightning up at your feigned outrage, and squeezed your hands before letting go.
“I love you too. Let’s go.”
You bit your cheek as you nodded, reminding yourself for at least the tenth time since you had set off hiking: friends. The keyword of this trip was ‘friends’.
It was just really hard to actually remember that when Steve looked at you like that, talked like that, and you could still feel the warm imprint of his hands on yours.
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Steve Rogers was a man impossible not to fall for; from almost absurd handsomeness to even more absurd goodness he lived by, from his sharp wits to effective moves, from the crinkles in his eyes when he smiled to the tenderness in his touch. His sense of humour equalled to the one of duty, his drive and determination in leading interlacing with a soul of an artist and a simple man who appreciated the most ordinary things.
You had clicked instantly; your friendship bloomed almost effortlessly, working alongside him making for many opportunities to spend time together. Despite barely having met about three months ago, the times you owed him your life for were numerous; and the few times he owed you his, even as there was no such thing as keeping score, only strengthened your bond. Moments where you thought you wouldn’t make it out. Long nights at motels or in a stake-out cars, filled with mindless chatter, profound talks and comfortable silences. His goddamn smiles alone, always feeling a little warmer, fonder, when directed at you.
The fact he had quickly slipped into a habit of calling you Lee, a nickname derived from your codename with a wordless implication of you being his refuge, with that damn smile on his plush lips, was making something in your ribcage tremble with affection.
You had fallen hard. But who wouldn’t? You were only human.
And his proximity, his friendship, his affection, they were most precious to you; no matter which form they’d have, you’d take it.
Even if it meant inappropriate thoughts and your heart racing fast enough to collapse from exhaustion when he cleaned your scraped knee and palms with such care and focus one might believe they were fatal wounds.
Your heart would tremble less if he hadn’t kneeled in front of you as he did so, but you supposed Steve Rogers was just that kind of deadly. He cradled your hands in his huge ones as if they were as fragile as butterfly wings, smiling when he was done; and grinning when you said Thank you, nurse Rogers, the words carrying both humour and respect for his late mother.
His smile resembled the sun so much you almost missed how the actual sunrays grew less and less warm. It was only a few minutes later – every one of them making you aware of the either knowing or incredulous looks following yours or Steve’s every move, almost enough to make you self-conscious when snacking – when you realized you were getting cold.
The solution was easy; and despite how effective it would have been in chasing away the cold and lifting your spirits, it did not involve hugging Steve. Instead, you dived your hand down your backpack through the layer of snacks and other small necessities towards your clothes for the occasion.
And your hand reached something it most definitely shouldn’t have.
“What the-“ you murmured, still acutely aware of all the gazes on you, now joined by Steve’s. “Why is it… sticky?”
Puzzled and horrified – and suspicious, because Hopkinson might have never played a prank on you, but lines always had to be crossed for the first time someday – you threw out the things from the top, pulling out what was normally one of your favourite sweatshirts.
Fairly soaked in a rusty-red oily substance that now resided in your luggage.
Not that it hadn’t been there before – but before, it was safely stored in a Tupperware container along with the thin marinated steaks you had been tasked to carry for the team’s first dinner above fire, Hunter carrying the grate.  
“What is it?” Bobbi asked, frowning at the poor article of clothing you had intended to wear.
You didn’t have to sniff it to answer; mostly because the scent of spices was strong enough to answer for you.
“It’s the… marinade from our dinner,” you informed her with a grimace, a small whine escaping you as you went to inspect the rest of your clothes with dread and irritation rising. Because you already knew that the sweatshirt would not be the only thing having been hit. There had been enough to marinade to drown Steve and Bucky in – that was why you had triple-checked it was secured when you had pulled the straw for carrying it in your backpack. “How is that even possible?! I swear I checked it at least five times! I used rubber bands and a plastic bag and- ugh.”
“It probably gave out with all the moving around,” Natasha said, compassion evident in her voice. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” you sighed.
And it was. You were only just beginning to feel the mountains part of your destination. You weren’t even shivering – and god knew you had been exposed to much worse conditions with fewer clothing. It wasn’t even raining. You had been through much worse – this was but an inconvenience.
Kinda like Hopkinson himself.
Your gaze flickered to him as he himself put on a thin hoodie, your gaze narrowing in subtle suspicion; but there was no way. He almost looked as if he was pitying you. Genuinely. Though not enough to share his clothes; not that you’d accept if he had offered. But that was beside the point. The point was he probably wasn’t to be blamed for your current misery. Not where marinating your clothes was concerned anyway.
It was probably all on you. It seemed your Tupperware skills still needed some work. Goddamnit.
“It is fine,” you spoke to yourself more than anyone else. “I’ll walk the cold off and then stay close to the fire-“
Your heart skipped a beat as you felt a presence by your side, a large navy-blue hoodie entering your sight; it was as if talking about your potential inconvenience summoned him.
An angel by your shoulder.
With a soft frown and a welcoming smile, he set the hoodie next to you as your hands still held onto your tainted clothes.
“Hey… here, you can have mine.”
You opened your mouth to protest, the words dying in your throat when you met Steve’s gaze. The golden hour had arrived, highlighting the freckles and the god-like warm glow of his smile. Your fingers reflexively twitched in the fabric of the t-shirt in your hands as the urge to run them through Steve’s hair instead hit you like a sledgehammer.
Friends, you reminded yourself again. FRIENDS.
He was offering a friendly gesture. It was no different than borrowing boxing wraps from Hunter for training if yours had torn, borrowing a dress from Natasha because none of yours fit the theme of a party, or borrowing heels from Daisy because they matched better than anything you owned. There was nothing special about this and no one would think twice.
Yet, it was a gesture you had to turn down, no matter how gentlemanly it was – no matter how at home you knew you’d feel in that hoodie. The idea alone was tickling along the most sensitive parts of your body and for that alone you should refuse.
“Thank you, Steve… but that wouldn’t be fair,” you said. “You shouldn’t be cold because of me.”
Plus, I know this one is your favourite, you wanted to say, but bit your tongue, aware that the scene was already out-of-chart intimate as it was. It certainly felt like it.
“I won’t. You know I run pretty hot…”
You are hot, you wanted to say – but a little choked noise from Hopkinson and Bucky had you quickly set your mind straight.
Until Steve pulled out the big guns – rather literally. Long fingers wrapped around your bare forearm, goosebumps erupting on your skin despite the nearly burning sensation, breath catching. It did not help the situation that something you didn’t dare to identify for the sake of your sanity flashed in Steve’s eyes when he touched you.
Friends. Friends, friends, FRIENDS-
“See. All warm. And it will stay that way even without a hoodie. Take it. Please,” he added. And soon, a content smile appeared on his face, because he recognized the signs of you yielding.
A girl had to pick her battles. Arguing with Steve was not one of those which you had no chance at winning – it would be like trying to move a ton-worth block of concrete with bare hands. You had enough experience with that – fighting with Steve on the matter of your comfort, not moving concrete – and there was no winning. He respected your choices, yes, but he’d fastened straps of a parachute on you himself if it came to it, even if it meant he wouldn’t have one himself; he was a sweet hypocrite like that.
“Fine,” you sighed, smiling just a bit. “If you insist… thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
You would swear you heard at least three people mutter under their breath: I bet.
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Thoroughly warm and comfortable despite the numerous miles in your feet and tens of pounds on your back, you trailed behind Hunter and Bobbi, who were fighting animatedly – and most lovingly – about which European brand beer was the finest. For a couple who had been married and divorced, once talking about each other in not so nice terms including Bobbi being called ‘a demonic hell-beast’, they sure appeared very much in love – but every bit professional when it counted. They were lucky to find each other again, that was for sure. It made one long for a love like that; explosive as they were, you wouldn’t shy away from calling them soulmates. They belonged with each other; they were lucky to have find one another.
As you tugged at the sleeves of the hoodie you were wearing, long to easily hide your palms, you wondered if you were being lucky or cursed on this trip so far. Tripping. Spilling sauce onto your clothes. Withstanding Hopkinson’s moody glares of which exactly one resembled a shred of compassion and only lasted until you put on the hoodie of the Captain America himself. And yet, surrounded by colleagues, friends and Steve, on a trip with a sun that had slowly begun its descent at your back, you had to count your blessings.
Lucky. You were luckier than most.
Daisy had joined you for a bit, walking side by side with you when the path allowed it, meaningless chatter altering with meaningful; a natural course of conversation between close friends who were together for a few hours with nothing else to do but take it step by step, literally, admire the nature and talk.
Steve had promised it would only take less than an hour and you’d make it to where you were supposed to set camp. He had fallen behind, walking with Natasha and Bucky, who, judging by his tone and Steve’s groans, roasted the team captain about something with Natasha’s occasional but effective help.
Now, about what you assumed was twenty to thirty minutes later, the last challenge of today’s journey awaited you; fording a river.
A rather cold river.
The weather was nice, sure, and you were having a good time; but the idea of warding through water reaching your thighs was not all that alluring.
But of course, Steve Rogers was the man with a plan.
Walking down the river and finding a relatively shallow section of the river with several large rocks, all you had to do was to step from one slightly slippery stone to another without face-planting or letting your heavy backpacks break your balance. Easy – or it should be for a group of athletic agents.
Yet, Bucky and Steve were discarding their shoes in a blink, rolling up their pant legs, ready to dip in and get wet so other wouldn’t.
Your heart skipped a startled beat, a lump growing in your throat, as you watched Steve regard his friend, already knee-deep in water, with the tinniest bit of hesitance.    
Cold water. Cold water.
In the early June, the water couldn’t be colder than fifty, fifty-five degrees; but if the supersoldiers planned to stand there until all of you crossed the not-so-unsignificant distance while they’d assist, they would certainly feel it. And while history taught you both Steve and Bucky could clearly take the cold better than anyone, the idea of being the person knee-deep in the water was anything but pleasant.
Especially to someone who had already laid his life by diving a plane into icy waters of the North Atlantic.
Without a second thought, you left the line forming at the best crossing point, walking down the bank to crouch at Steve’s side.
He noticed your presence in an instant, snapping his head to you, an all-easy smile forming on his lips. As if you couldn’t see the brief flash of anxiety before he hid it. As if you couldn’t see his carotid pulsing wildly. As if he, the supposedly fearless man to all, could hide the one flicker of apprehension he allowed himself to feel from you.
“Are you sure about this, Steve?” you asked, voice as low as possible as not to attract attention.
As you met his gaze, understanding flashed in his eye. A silent conversation; he knew why you came to him, where your concern came from.
And in a very Steve Rogers fashion, he ignored it. He just gulped and squared his shoulders and rose to his feet, suddenly towering over you again.
“Of course I am.” Of course he was. “It will be much easier than all of us fording through.”
You sighed, looking at him pointedly as you swallowed your irritation – and worry. That was not what you were questioning and he knew it. And you weren’t questioning his dedication or his ability to help either; just the decision to put himself through discomfort anyone else could have taken upon themselves, when it meant more hardship for him than others.
“I know. It just… it can be literally anyone else-- hell, I can do it.”
You could. You’d warm up after soon enough, judging by the terrain awaiting you. It was a better option that him going in there to freeze his toes off at and bring him back to--
To prove your point, you reached for the backpack buckles on your belly to take it off.
Steve’s hand was on your forearm stopping you before you could undo a single one, squeezing.
As your head snapped back to his face, there was a little crack through the mask he had put on, showing just the slightest hint of anxiety now. But there was a fresh wave of warmth in his expression too; gratitude lit up the blue of his irises the way the sun lit up the summer skies, dreamy and sweet.
His thumb pressed into your forearm gently, stroking, reassuring. You felt the tension melt from your shoulders faster than a butter on the stove, something stirring deep inside your bones as you took a shaky inhale.
“Thank you, Lee, but I’ll be fine,” he said, one of his eyebrows arching, a little quirk to his lips. “And we don’t want to undo the work the hoodie has done on you.”
Right. The hoodie. His hoodie.  Yes, you were very much aware you were still wearing it, while he remained in a t-shirt that was at least one size too small for him and did all things delightful for his already insanely impressive physique.
Not the point.
You opened you mouth to argue, only to be interrupted by a shout from behind you.
“Oi, punk! You gonna help or just stand there enjoying the view?”
As you both turned to Bucky, you could see him helping Agent May cross the river, already halfway through.
Steve let go of your forearm, smiling at you once more.
“At least take the hoodie,” you insisted. He shook his head, your mouth opening on empty, deeming your effort fruitless.
“I have a jacket if I want… don’t need the hoodie,” he assured you, his grin earning a glint of danger that made your stomach flip-flop funnily, the heat in your abdomen burning hotter. “Plus, it looks much better on you.”
With that, he set off, jogging towards the water, and leaving you stand there with cheeks exploding with heat.
Damn you, Steven Grant.
Shaking your head, you returned to the line, anxiously watching Steve climb down into water, a shudder running down his spine.
“Come on. I saved you a spot,” Daisy said, gesturing for you to stand in front of her, earning an eyeroll from Hopkinson who stood behind her. “Everything okay with you and Steve?”
The phrasing had your head snap up with a startle, heart speeding up.
“What?”
What did she mean by that?! You and Steve?
No. There was you. There was Steve. Two separate entities. Friends.
Checking up on each other. Wearing each other’s clothes. Typical friends.
You relaxed when all you found in Daisy’s gaze was genuine care and curiosity, no trace of implying anything. Right.
You smiled back. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”
Hunter and Bobbi followed after May; then it was your turn. The sight of the river, while beautiful, got a little less pleasant as you stepped on the first stone, testing just how slippery the surface was. It wasn’t awful – you could handle that, even as you felt the extra load on your back disturbing your balance.
But hey – the worst that could happen was you taking a cold bath. Just another inconvenience, right?
Yet, you didn’t have to worry. You didn’t even make it to the second large stone when a familiar pair of warm hands wrapped around yours, offering a gentle but firm support.
You met Steve’s reassuring gaze, a message without words: I’ve got you. You’re safe with me.
You send one back, squeezing his hands: I know. You makeme feel safe. You okay?
A tiny nod on his part and then you were on your way, careful taking step after step, always testing the surface first, making sure your every move was secure before shifting your weight. From one to another, you made it halfway to the deepest part of the crossing without any issue, actually enjoying the little adventure – which had obviously nothing to do with Steve’s touch, because you were not at all disappointed to see Bucky heading back from the other side of the river where he had left Bobbi to take you off of Steve’s hands. Not at all.
You were just stepping on the next stone when you felt a sudden drop in weight on your shoulders and back, an embarrassing yelp erupting from your throat as you scrambled for balance.
A fleeing thought of this trip being cursed for you indeed flashed through your mind as you braced yourself for the impact into cold water despite still trying not to have it come to that.
And it didn’t.
A splash sounded next to you, a few drops cooling your ankle, but that was it; you stood tall and firm on the irregularly-shaped stone, a hot vice of a grip on your hips, your hands having found purchase on just as hot and solid surface nearby.
Steve’s hands securely holding your hips.
Your hands on his shoulders.
Attentive blue eyes looking up at yours to assure both you and himself that you were okay.
Your face heated up, but the rest of your body was set on fire; indecent images of a wholly different situation with Steve’s hands having a steel-like grip on your hips and his eyes boring into yours flooded your mind, a wildfire of visceral need spreading through every single cell of your body and lightning it up. Steve was all about touch. Steve was all about eye-contact. You knew with absolute certainty that he’d never once let his gaze wander from your face when he’d sheathed himself inside you, feasting his eyes, because he lived for capturing images of beauty and he was a giver, the pleasure of people he loved being his own--- and you wouldn’t dare to look away. Your eyes might flutter shut at the sensation of utter-
Forcing yourself to snap back into present – into reality –, looking everywhere but at Steve as your whole body burned, a floating object caught your eye behind Steve’s back. A dark prolonged object, neatly packed, carried away by the stream.
Your tent. The thing that had fallen into water and nearly knocked you off balance was your tent, slowly sinking lower and lower as it slowed down its path down the river.
Great. Really great.
You were fucked.
How did it even-
“I got it!” Bucky hollered, changing course, heading to retrieve what was supposed to be the roof over your head for the next three days.
He’d get it; you weren’t worried. It was fine.
And the tent would be fine too. It was in the waterproof case. It would--- it would be absolutely soaked, because it was sinking. The entirety of the tent had gone under water, including the protective layer that was meant to save you from rain should it come to it.
There was no cloud on the sky but you had a feeling there’d be water dripping on you all night anyway.
How could it have fallen off? You had secured it with the buckled straps to the bottom of your fairly new backpack, checking repeatedly – every time before you put the backpack on again – that it held.
Then again, maybe you hadn’t done that after the fiasco – and the lovely result of it – with your marinated clothes. So you might be cursed, but by your own fault, really-
A squeeze to your hips brought your attention back to Steve, making you realize you were still standing in the middle of the river, stalling.
“I’m sorry, moving on, moving on,” you babbled, only to have him still your movements, eyes scrutinizing your face.
“You okay?”
Funny you should ask.
“Are you?”
You reciprocated the scrutiny; eyes roaming his handsome features, you searched for any signs of discomfort – not from having to hold you, but from still soaking his legs in the cold water. All you found was a reassuring smile; and yet, you couldn’t but brush your thumb inconspicuously over Steve’s shoulder in an attempt at comfort, incidentally along the hem of his t-shirt. An emotion flashed in his irises, eyes darkening a fraction, the grip on your flesh turning almost bruising before he began to release it, taking one of your hands again and then the other. You licked your lips – and you’d swear Steve’s gaze flickered to your mouth at that – standing up straighter.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky dropping your tent on the bank of the river.
“Thank you, Bucky!”
“No problem, dollface. Get moving though, my old knees aren’t built for this cold anymore,” he said, causing you to glare at Steve accusingly.
He had lied.
Of course he had fucking lied.
And he had the audacity to grin when you looked at him with accusatory and genuinely worried eyes.
“Let’s get you to the other side, shall we?”
“I packed your favourite snack, but I just decided I’m gonna eat it alone,” you threatened your vengeance for him for not being honest.
Steve feigned hurt so well you might as well believe it; but the hold on your hands remained gentle and secure as he helped you continue the path. “That’s cold, Lee.”
The corners of your lips quirked up.
“I know it’s cold. Now was it so hard to admit it?” you questioned as you beckoned to the water – causing Bucky to chuckle and Steve to deadpan when he instantly realized your trickery.
“You should be around more often, dollface,” Bucky said, approaching you and taking up on Steve’s task.
Steve just grunted and made his way to help Daisy. You felt your face heat up further at Bucky’s remark, grateful no one else could hear the exchange.
…were you though?
“I’ll take your words for it… and Steve?” He glanced at you over his shoulder, clearly not really offended. “Thank you for catching me.”
His smile, no matter how small, said it all and felt like the softest blanket to wrap around you on a cold winter morning; I’ll always catch you.
Always.
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Just as you had expected, once you all made it through the river, you reached the camp spot in no time; and just as you had expected, your tent was a lost cause. You could build it, hoping it would dry out overnight at least bit, but actually sleeping in it was out of question unless you wanted to wake up soaked up and sneezing.
In a brief moment of self-pity you granted yourself, you planted your butt on the ground, laying the drenched parts of your tent next to you, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it as you stared at the traitorous pieces of equipment, including the buckles that had been meant to hold the package to the backpack but had given out.  
While everyone busied themselves with unpacking their temporary shelters as well – Natasha with Bucky, Bobbi with Hunter, May, Daisy and Hopkinson each on their own in the lightest and therefore smallest tents possible, Bobbi took note of your state, smiling compassionately.
“Are you okay? The water really did a number on that thing, huh?”
You reciprocated her smile wryly, no less grateful for her care.
“Yeah… But you know what? I win. Sleeping outside? I can stargaze. I’ll be fine,” you said, shrugging and rising to your feet to get to work. You could build the tent to have it dry out at least and wash your clothes in the lake you had settled at. “I’m just… gonna sleep by the fire under the open skies, in… borrowed, non-marinated clothes and with no sleeping bag, because with my luck, it’s probably full of bugs or itching powder or something. It’s fine. God knows I slept in conditions a lot worse than that.”
And wasn’t that the truth. You had slept in much better conditions too, but that was beside the point. You tried to summon the memories of horrible nights spent in damp clothes, freezing, teeth clattering so hard the sound made it impossible to fall asleep; unbearable heat, loud noises, even just annoying persistent chatter. Sleeping under the open skies was practically a blessing in comparison. A dream.
And you did not want to remember nights that had been very different, because that would only make you miserable at your predicament.
“Yeah, not on my watch,” Steve called out lowly, placing another hook in the ground, using his foot to step on it and dig it deeper. “Not when the solution is obvious.”
Your heart skipping a beat at the obvious solution, you barely had time to breathe in to respond when someone else did – in an extremely irritated manner.
“Seriously?! What, you gonna lend her your tent too?” Hopkinson spat, rising from where he had been crouching by his tent. “Maybe even keep her warm through the-“
Steve lunged his direction so fast you didn’t even have time to be offended by the implication.
But Bucky, the supersoldier he was, was much faster; his metal arm stopped Steve in his tracks, palm pressing against Steve’s chest before he could make the almost-breaking-Hopkinson’s-arm a pleasant memory for the man.
Still, Hopkinson had enough wit to shut up and step back hastily, raising his hands defensively. His face turned white as a sheet of paper; good. He had some brain left then, it seemed. How he had survived for so long you had no idea.
Gulping – and shamelessly satisfied at the fear in Hopkinson’s eyes, because Jesus he did not just say that, even as you had thought about exactly the same – you turned your gaze back to Steve and Bucky.
And something in your core exploded hot, a tug so violent and visceral it was almost painful.
If Steve had looked at Hopkinson like he could break his arm all those weeks back when he had made his stupid comment, now he looked like he could break every single bone in his body, snap the guy in half and enjoy it. And he’d enjoy doing it for you. To defend you.
Steve’s smile was always a beautiful sight and so was the softness he could look at you with at times; but the rage in his face now, the fire in his eyes, on your behalf, were nothing short of breathtaking.
Avenging angel indeed.
He might not be carrying a flaming sword, nor had his shield on his arm, but that made him no less menacing, no less divine; and no less beautiful.
“Do we have a problem, Agent Hopkinson?” Bucky asked calmly, despite the clear effort with which he was holding Steve back still, even as Steve visibly didn’t move a muscle.
You were barely moving at all too; your chest was heaving, the rest of your body strung tight with effort not to let show just how affected you were by Steve’s near literal white-knighting.  
“No, sir,” Hopkinson saluted, nodding stiffly, before he scrambled to finish building his tent.
“Good.”
Few seconds of deafening silence was only interrupted by the scrape of shoes against ground as the camp slowly came back to life again. Bucky shot Steve a look before he let his metal arm down, watching Steve avert his still flaming gaze from Hopkinson with shoulders remaining squared; and so alluringly wide you just wanted to run your hands over them, just as breathless at the sensation as you were now-
“I mean, makes sense you’d share,” Daisy broke the silence, everyone visibly relaxing. “It looks like your tent is pretty big, eh?”
Your eyes went wide.
Loud cough erupted from Hunter’s direction as he spitted the water he had been drinking; Bobbi patted his shoulders, amusement clear on her face. Bucky’s face twisted in a questionable grimace; Natasha pursed her lips, seemingly one second from making a comment. May bit back a smirk; Hopkinson was only showing his back, but he clearly froze in his movements.
Steve just looked shocked – shocked enough to snap from the anger that had overtook him on your behalf.
You would think it would take Daisy a few seconds to realize how she had worded her statement, accidentally referring to a figurative ‘tent’ men grew in certain situations – but judging by her seemingly innocent smile and the sparkle in her eye, she knew exactly what she had implied. And she had done so on purpose and with delight.
She was right, however. Steve’s temporary dwelling was probably the biggest one at your site and it even included a vestibule, where all the equipment which was meant for everyone was to be stored. His tent had the most space for the reason he could put his backpack to the vestibule alone.
Steve cleared his throat, taking a few steps to you, a relaxed smile having found way back to his face.
“…are you comfortable with sharing a tent with me?”
You reciprocated his smile, shrugging, even as you had to work hard to swallow your amusement at Daisy’s comment. One that was very much on point.
Yes. You were very comfortable sharing a tent with him indeed. More than, actually, but not everyone needed to know that; and you could feel several knowing gazes on you as you answered as levelled as possibly.
“I mean… we have shared a room before for a mission. I’m fine… are you? Comfortable with that, that is?” you asked, perfectly polite, considerate and friendly, even as your heart was racing in your ribcage.
There was no reason for the racing heart though. Because this was okay for friends to do. Absolutely. If you having shared the room sometimes included sharing a bed, which had naturally resulted in cuddling, body heat searching body heat, no one needed to know – especially not Agent Asshole Hopkinson. What happened in a motel room stayed in a motel room. Always.
A cute crinkle appeared in Steve’s eye as he gave the answer you already knew.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t. Of course, it’s fine.”
More than, whispered his gaze, so you averted it and busied yourself with gathering the wet parts of your tent, clearing your throat.
“Good… that’s good. Thanks. I really appreciate it, Steve.”
“Any time, Lee.”
You could feel his gaze on you, the warmth of his smile like a soft blanket on your back. It was going to be a long, long night.
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Part 2
Complete masterlist
Steve Rogers masterlist
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I hope you enjoyed reading 🤭 if you did, please consider leaving feedback and reblogging💕
I hope July has been kind to you!
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doestalker · 9 months ago
Text
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁 .ᐟ choso kamo
summary: there's a serial killer on the loose, you're invited to a halloween party, what could go wrong? spoiler: everything
ghostface!choso, smut, p in v, dub-con, little to no foreplay (sorry), dacryphilia, blood play, knife play, big dick choso, unprotected sex, a lilttle daddy kink, dirty talk, degradation,, choso puts the hot in psychotic basically.
word count: 2.7k
౨ৎ this is a collab with my dear friend @nudijsmos
also on ao3
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It was a really, really bad decision - going out to a halloween party when there's a serial killer out there, waiting for his new unsuspecting victim? It was a no brainer.
Yet, saying no to your friends was worse than that. And that's why you agreed on attending this party in the first place.
Your eyes skimmed over the news playing on your TV. A new victim of the Ghostface.
Ghostface.
His name was all over the news, the papers, the internet, a ghostly white screaming mask, a black cloak and the thirst for blood.
He had already killed 5 people this month, the police says that he stalks them before he goes after them, just for the thrill of the hunt.
Fucking psycopath.
You turned off the TV to finish your make up in peace, only the gentle hum of a Lana Del Rey song playing through your speaker was keeping you company inside your dorm.
You were dressed as an angel. What a cliché.
It was the easiest costume you could think of only using your clothes, a white corset, white fishnets and the tiniest white shorts that didn't even cover up half of your ass cheeks. You just had to buy the halo and the wings to match.
-
The alcohol had already started affecting you. You felt like your brain was spinning inside of your skull as you made your way into the upstairs bathroom of the fraternity hosting the party.
The first thing you did upon entering was splash your face with cold water from the faucet, then you looked at your reflection.
Your make up had barely smudged - thank you, waterproof make up - and your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol.
What a mess, you thought.
The party wasn't so bad, but as you expected from the beginning, your friends ditched you the moment you stepped inside the house. So, there you were, alone, dressed in skimpy clothes, in a place full of drunk college students pretending not to fear the figure in black that could attack them any second. You rolled your eyes at the thought.
However, your critical thoughts about your peers were interrupted when someone entered the same bathroom where you were.
"Hey, it's occupied," you said, words slurring, your tongue felt heavy on your mouth.
You looked at the intruder through the mirror's reflection. He was dressed as Ghostface.
You swallowed hard when you saw that white mask staring at you with his head tilted. It was clear that this was someone with a very twisted sense of humour who had dressed up as the killed from the news, even covered himself in fake blood. Still, you couldn't help but feel intimidated by that ghostly figure.
"Didn't you hear me? It's occupied," you said again. You were about to turn around when the figure grabbed your hair and forced you back into your original position.
You didn't know what to do, you were shocked at the audacity.
The figure shook his head.
"What? You wanna play psycho killer?" You asked with a crooked smile. Maybe it was the remaining alcohol in your system, but you weren't against this roleplay.
The figure nodded.
"Can I be the helpless victim?" You joked, your voice innocent and airy, looking at with your best doe eyes.
Ghostface nodded again.
His hand, still holding your hair, exerted force until you were bent over the counter, your arched back lifting your half-naked ass higher, the smooth white fabric barely covering it making the masked man loose his composure.
The cold air in the room clashing with your bare skin as he got rid of the minimal clothing covering you, drawing a series of gasps from your trembling throat that sounded like music to the mysterious entity controlling you at its whim.
Lust filled the air, and both of your breaths were connected by the uncontrollable desire within you about what could happen next. How rough would it be? What would the next move be? Despite the fear building up inside your stomach, the wet heat running down your thighs encouraged you to continue.
The tearing sound of your fishnets made you shudder, and the cold touch of his blade sent shivers down your spine. the bastard sliced your underwear. Now the only thing protecting your bare pussy from his growing bulge was the fabric of his robe and his jeans.
His bulge rubbed slowly against you, so slow it was torturous. The friction sending flashes of pleasure to your lower belly. You didn't want him to stop; his rhythm was lascivious enough to make the black fabric even darker with your juices.
The masked man only let out ragged breaths, although his gaze wasn't noticeable in the mirror that was reflecting the vulgar expressions on your face, inside that hood, he was savouring the obscene angle he had you on, your ass shaped like a heart from his point of view.
His gloved fingers forced their way into your mouth without warning, seeking the lubrication your saliva could provide. The combination of the black leather taste and your frothy saliva tingled your taste buds. There was a certain synchronization with the fake thrusts he made into your mouth and the friction against your cunt.
His left hand grabbed your hair and pulled hard so you could see yourself better when he caressed your pussy lips with his lubed fingers, playing with your folds, feeling how they got wetter with those sweet juices you were leaking.
Your mouth gaped when you felt his fingers entering your cunt so slowly it was almost cruel, making you lose the little sanity left in you. It didn't take much time until he was drilling his digits inside your gummy walls.
Your whimpers were getting louder, but you were sure that the music blasting outside the bathroom was muffling the lewd sounds escaping from your mouth, so you let yourself loosen up, you were getting fingered by a stranger after all, and one dressed up as a serial killer.
The voice modifier inside his mask wasn't picking up his deep sighs, but now it was, morphing his grunts into a robotic voice.
He tilted his head again, staring at your face enjoying his fingers abusing your cervix, if only you could see how his eyes darkened.
The thrusts of his fingers stopped after a few minutes, then without warning, he found his way inside you again, this time with his length. you felt your insides burn, not able to take the ridiculous size of his cock, falling apart in front of him.
"Look at you, doll. Who would've thought that you'd get so turned on being like this," he grunted out of breath, taking your cries as encouragement as he began the abrupt sway of his hips against your ass cheeks.
"I'm gonna show you how you're made for me, how this pussy's only made for my big fucking cock and only for my cock. You filthy little slut."
You weren't used to his moves; any trace of vanilla had disappeared the moment he exercised that cruel power over your figure. Your voice was so worn out that you couldn't form a straight answer, limiting yourself to just whine and moan just like he described, like a filthy slut. He was a vulgar and obscene entity that just released your deepest and darkest desires with just the sound of his modified voice and the thrusts of his hips.
Your eyelids were starting to feel heavy; you couldn't help but close your eye por a second, which earned you a hard slap on your ass-cheek that would most likely leave a mark. "Don't close your eyes. Look at yourself. Look how much of a whore you're being to a complete stranger. What would your boyfriend say? Would he like to know that a killer is filling up his girl?"
You shook your head. "No boyfriend," was the only thing you could manage to reply, your brain beginning to shut down from so much brutality and overstimulation.
"Really now? Then, nothing could stop me from doing this," he said, and the next thing you felt apart from his big dick inside of you, was the sharp blade on his hand piercing its way into your soft skin.
The pain of his weapon cutting on the flesh of your ass mixed with the pleasure of his thrusts, melting your brain away until there was nothing left but your incoherent babbling from those emotions blending together.
His hand caressed the fresh wound before traveling to your chest, pulling down the top of your corset and staining both the fabric and your tits crimson red. The hunting knife went up to your neck and rested on your jugular, his thrusts began to speed up and you thought you could die from the way his tip was bullying your sweet spot.
A subtle bulge started to form on your lower belly, you could see through the mirror how his length reaching places no other dick had explored before.
"Fuck, just look at you, you're such a mess," his groans, still robotic and modified, sounded animalistic. "I'm gonna ruin you. Gonna make you cum so hard, no one other than me will fuck you this good. There's no dick out there that could abuse you like this."
Your head was spinning. you were all over the place. the overstimulation and his dirty talk that sounded like a threat were bubbling up the white heat on your lower abdomen that you were oh so desperate for.
"Gonna make you mine, gonna fill you up."
Your body was hitting against the cold bathroom counter and your gaze showed both pleasure and fear, despite currently getting the fuck of your life, you were still uncertain of making it out alive.
You watched as his hand grabbed his mask and took off the plastic material that was keeping you from knowing who was fucking you. It wasn't enough to say he was the most attractive man you'd ever seen in your life.
Straight, shoulder-length hair, tired eyes surrounded by violet shadows that revealed sleepless nights, and a striking tattoo running across his cheeks and nose bridge. His porcelain-like skin couldn't hide the rosy flush that softened his otherwise sharp and intimidating features.
His lips curled into a crooked smirk when your whines stopped upon seeing his face. "Like what you see, angel?"
The deepness of his voice shook you to your core and made you weak in the knees. He didn't give you time to reply the obvious yes! your brain wanted to scream, he just grabbed your hair and pulled you into a filthy kiss, all spit and teeth and fighting tongues. You let out a tiny mewl when his teeth bit hard on your lower lip, so hard it left you with a metalic taste after he broke away from the kiss, only a thin thread of pink-ish saliva connecting your mouths.
"Couldn't help myself, just want to devour those lips."
You felt like your insides were being abused by his length like you were just a toy, your belly already feeling full of him even though he was giving you lazy half-thrusts, the few moments when he decided to punish you and thrust in full made you dizzy. Through the mirror, you could notice his gaze fixated on the way his cock disappeared into your warm pussy.
His hands hovered over the end of your waist, drawing invisible lines along the curves of your hips, while the most vulgar and purely depraved words were leaving those rosy, plump lips of his. You watched as his eyes rolled back into his skull whenever your pussy clenched and tightened around his cock when something he said was a little too dirty, and the way he trusted back with mouth-watering force made your eyes roll too.
You were 100% sure that the people outside the bathroom were hearing your moans now, but you couldn't help it, you were approaching your long-awaited orgasm, and you felt the white heat on your lower abdomen start to bubble up and send electricity through your nervous system. Your walls were hugging his cock so tight, as if your pussy didn't want to let him go now that you were about to cum.
"Fuck, look at you, you're practically swallowing me," groaned the stranger.
"'m gonna cum," you whined, furrowing your brows, focusing on getting over the edge of your climax.
He leaned over you, pressing his clothed chest to your back, he was looking into your eyes through the mirror, a wicked smirk on his face.
"Yeah? gonna cum on my cock?" He mumbled into your ear, hot breath caressing your ear. When his only answer was a strangled moan, his hand grabbed you by the crown of your hair, the new angle was pushing you even more to the edge. "Answer, slut, you gonna come on daddy's cock? You gonna be m'lil whore and let daddy cum inside you?"
You nodded your head, the best you could with his hard grip on your hair. "Yeah, daddy, want you t'cum in me, please fill my pussy, daddy," you whimpered, almost sobbed, begging for your release.
"Then cum f'me, angel."
That moment didn't take long, a couple more thrusts into you and that was it, his seed was filling you up, and at the same time, yours was coating his length, both fluids mixing inside of you, spilling out and running down your thighs. The proof of your affair staining your shorts and dripping on the floor.
Then, the stranger pulled out and, without saying anything, started to zip his jeans and put on the mask again. You stopped him, not even bothering to pull up your shorts.
"What's your name?" you asked.
You didn't want to lose the opportunity of seeing him again, mind-blowing fuck or not, he was beautiful and your still-foggy mind thought he looked familiar. Besides, he must go to the same college as you, given it was a frat party.
He just shook his head, a smirk still intact on his handsome face. He put on his mask and softly grabbed your face by the chin.
"Ghostface."
You rolled your eyes at his joke. "Well, Mr. Ghostface, will I ever see you again?"
His hand left your chin to travel to the loose strand of hair over your forehead, tucking it back behind your ear. "Soon, angel."
And then he left, the silence after the door shut was deafening, your ears ringing and your mind spinning.
You looked at your reflection again, smudged makeup, sweaty and your hair was a mess. You turned and looked at your back through the mirror, your clothes were stained red by the fake blood he had on his cloak. Your eyes traveled down to your ass, where he had cut you moments before, your cheeks were red and stained with your blood, but it looked like a superficial cut, nothing too serious.
You couldn't help but notice that he carved a 'C' on your left cheek.
-
When you finally pull yourself together and decide to leave the bathroom, the first thing you encounter is straight out of a horror movie.
A body lies on the floor, a guy slumped against the wall opposite the bathroom door, blood staining his clothes and the wall behind him. You clap a hand over your mouth, fighting the urge to vomit, unable to scream from the sheer shock.
You dash down the stairs to find your friends and alert the frat guys to call the police, but the scene in the living room is even worse.
Three bodies are there. one guy and two girls. The girls are seated on the couch, almost as if the killer posed them, their blood turning the cream-colored fabric a deep crimson. The guy lies face down on the floor, his blood pooling around him.
The music continues to play, its upbeat and trendy lyrics mocking the gruesome scene.
You feel sick to your stomach, wanting to puke, cry, and scream, but you can’t. You're frozen on the last step of the stairs.
As you hear a siren in the distance and the house slowly bathes in the blue and red of police lights, your eyes lock onto a sticky note on the front door. You slowly walk over and read it.
'Soon.' it said.
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lesone-shot · 15 days ago
Text
Unspoken Truths
Jenna Ortega x fem!reader
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was just another interview, a usual press day for the two of you, but something felt different today. You and Jenna Ortega were sitting side by side, answering questions from the host, and the chemistry between you was undeniable. You were co-stars on a hit show, and your bond had quickly grown beyond just being colleagues. You were best friends, partners in crime, and, secretly, you both had been the subject of countless rumors. The fans, particularly the ones who adored the chemistry between you two on-screen, often speculated that there was more than friendship behind your closeness.
The host, a young, bright-eyed interviewer who admired both of you, started the segment with a lighthearted question. "So, ladies," she said, grinning as they addressed you both, "I’ve heard some very interesting rumors about you two. Fans can’t stop talking about your chemistry—on-screen, of course, but also off-screen. Care to address it?"
The studio audience chuckled at the question, knowing exactly where it was headed. You felt Jenna’s fingers brush yours briefly, a quiet reassurance that you both were ready for whatever came next. You could tell she was trying to suppress a smile, her dark eyes sparkling with a mix of mischief and warmth.
"Oh, you know," Jenna began with a teasing tone, her lips curling into a playful grin, "people just love to make up stories about us. But hey, we do spend a lot of time together. Long hours on set, endless rehearsals… it's only natural, right?"
You nodded, leaning in slightly as you spoke, your voice soft but filled with affection. "Yeah, exactly. We’re really close. We joke around a lot, and sometimes it gets a little… intense, I guess. But we’re just really good friends." Your eyes flicked to Jenna, and you could see the small, knowing smile she gave you.
The host tilted their head, clearly skeptical. "Good friends? Hmm, I think the fans might disagree with you on that one. They say there’s more going on between you two. Do you think that’s true?"
You both exchanged a glance, and for a moment, there was a playful silence. The audience waited with bated breath, and you could feel the tension in the air. You cleared your throat, unable to hide your smile any longer. "Well, I mean, we are always together. But we’re really just enjoying each other’s company. There’s no… nothing more than that. Right, Jenna?"
Jenna’s expression shifted slightly. She had this mischievous glint in her eye, and for a split second, you could see the faintest hint of something deeper, something more than just friendship, flicker across her features. She nudged you lightly with her elbow. "Right, nothing more," she echoed, but her voice held a warmth that made your heart skip a beat.
The host didn’t seem convinced, grinning knowingly. "I don’t know," they said, raising an eyebrow. "It just seems like there’s a lot of love between you two. Can you blame the fans for thinking that?"
Before either of you could respond, the audience erupted into applause. The playful banter, the undeniable connection—it was all too obvious for anyone who was paying attention.
As the host moved on to the next question, you and Jenna exchanged another quiet look, one that said more than words ever could. The laughter from the audience, the clapping—it all faded away as you and Jenna sat in your own little bubble, the bond between you two far stronger than any rumor or speculation.
Ultimately, whether or not the fans were right didn’t matter. What mattered was the way you made each other feel—safe, seen, and cherished.
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