#hord s2

[peachysunrize]

AEMOND TARGARYEN [Vhagar's giant cat behavior] S2E4 | The Red Dragon & The Gold

[diamantdog]

YOU'RE INVITED!

Please reblog & share!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

“Signals” is still the funniest episode of She-ra.... frankly it embodies the strengths and weaknesses of the show at this stage...  

Rebellion story: Ridiculous scooby doo shenanigans. It turns out the GHOSTS were HOLOGRAMS!!!!!  Everyone realises their friendship is the thing that mattered. Bow misinterprets an incredibly plot important signal for a glitch on his tracker pad. This glitch is interpreted correctly as a signal later... entirely offscreen. 

Horde story: Threatening political intrigue as Catra claws her way to power, is at constant risk of death, and gets accidentally usurped by a sunshine gremlin with no self preservation instinct. How? She was the only one brazen and dumb enough to tell the Evil Supreme Overlord that his electronics were below the standard of a middle school student. Somehow this is an incredible plot twist with huge implications for the rest of the story and for Catra’s psyche. 

[lenaellsi]

on aziraphale's insecurities in S2

i'm pretty sure one of the lines in the end scene where crowley shoots himself in the foot the most is "i think i understand a whole lot better than you do," and i don't even think he realizes how badly aziraphale takes it.

it's just a fact to him: he knows better than aziraphale what heaven is like. it's also a fact to the audience, who knows that the metatron is doing this for bad reasons and that aziraphale is walking into a trap. but it's not a fact to aziraphale. and that's the moment aziraphale goes from panicky and anxious to angry.

aziraphale's self-doubts and anxieties concerning his identity as an angel are shown frequently in s2. we start 2x01 with him deeply insecure in his 'retirement': crowley mentions that aziraphale frequently calls him to "tell him about something clever he did," and aziraphale confirms that he is essentially using these conversations as a stand-in for reporting to heaven. he misses being on The Good Team and doesn't know what to do with himself now that he's not.

so aziraphale doesn't know who he is if he's not an angel, but he also knows that he's a bad angel. he was frequently mocked and condescended to in heaven (by seemingly everyone, not just the archangels; even the quartermaster in s1 called him pathetic). he lied to heaven, he lied to god, he enjoys earthly pleasures, he loves works with a demon, and he doubts the Plan. he never fit in with them. lonely, remember?

and later in the season, we learn that shax, for all that she apparently is not great with sarcasm, is remarkably perceptive when picking up on insecurities. she mocks aziraphale twice, first in the car for his relationship with crowley (which, interestingly, doesn't faze him a bit--remember the eyebrow? he's not at all insecure in his knowledge that crowley loves him. crowley has always been the thing he's most sure of, even very early on--look at how much faith he has in him with job.) the second time she hits much harder: "crowley's emotional support angel," "shall we send in the sushi?" "the softest touch" etc. it hurts him, you can see it.

and there's another tiny moment in 2x05 I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about, where crowley has just bluffed to the demon horde and is trying to get all the humans together to leave. crowley says, "I won't leave you on your own," and aziraphale says, "I know. But I have a suggestion--" and crowley brushes him off, saying "I got this." aziraphale looks very frustrated by this exchange, which--yeah! fair!

and over and over, we just--we see crowley be right. right about job and god, right about elspeth, right about the magic trick, the nazis, the arrangement, the apocalypse. "you were right, you were right, i was wrong, you were right." crowley's never done the dance before, he says. how many times has aziraphale had to?

and crowley's not just right, he's confident in it! he moves through the world and makes choices that fly in the face of everything aziraphale knows about Good and Evil, and it seems to come so easily to him. he's loud, and he's brave, and he's full of conviction, and aziraphale often feels overshadowed by that surety, because he's so often full of doubt. "you sound jealous, angel," is what crowley says at job's mansion, and i think he's more right than he knows.

all this to say: when crowley says "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do," what aziraphale hears is you idiot and how can somebody as clever as you be so stupid and I was right, I was right, you were wrong, I was right. and he's fucking sick of it.

and so he doubles down, and he gets in the stupid elevator, and he makes the worst mistake of his life, because he's sick of being treated as heaven's lackey or crowley's sidekick. the metatron knew exactly what to say to get him there, and crowley had no idea he was playing directly into it.

[minervas-hand]

Right to fear, wrong to believe

Just had a horrible realization and needed to meta it out.

How different they were before Edinburgh, when Crowley was sucked down into Hell.

Look at this flirty babygirl in the Bastille:

I mean could he climb that tree any faster?

(This is why I really like fics that place a more physical relationship here, pre-Bastille or just post-Bastille, because c'mon look at them. )

In S1 the next thing is 1862 and Crowley asking for insurance (with a cane ffs). And Aziraphale freaking out with his "fraternizing" BS. It's jarring, until we get 1827 filled in for us in S2.

@takeme-totheworld notes in this post:

Crowley sure went from "our respective head offices don't actually care how things get done" and "nobody ever has to know" to "walls have ears" FAST after Edinburgh. And Aziraphale went from looking at Crowley with hearts in his eyes to "I've been FrAtErNiZiNg" just as quickly. I'm more convinced than ever that Edinburgh was the first time Crowley ever actually got caught and punished for fucking around with Aziraphale/doing good deeds/whatever it was they yanked him back down to Hell for, and it scared the absolute shit out of both of them and changed the whole tone of their relationship after that.

Yes! - it's clear to me as well that the Edinburgh graveyard was a very bad turning point, where they both saw that Hell was listening and would intervene. And it did change their relationship drastically, for over a century and a half (really, until looming Armageddon loosened up the stakes for them).

But what about Heaven?

See the thing is, we know Azi's been worried about Heaven watching him for the past 6000 years.

But they haven't.

[GIFs posted by starrose17]

All this time, and Heaven had not seen them together. Hadn't noticed. Had not even LOOKED.

I want to mention what @starrose17 says about this here in this post:

What I love about this is her choice of words, “went back through the Earth Observation files.” This implies that these photos were already filed somewhere meaning somebody had to have been watching them which meant somewhere in the depths of the bureaucratic heaven there’s an underpaid angel clerk tasked with watching angels on Earth, and he’s been hording photos of his favourite Angel/Demon couple not reporting them to Michael because he wants to see what happens.

And that's exactly what this fic covers!: Spying Omens by @ednav

(Give this a read, it's fabulous.)

While I am here for this being exactly how that happens, the other scenario is colder and worse - there's no one watching, at all. It's just filing automatically and never seen until some Scrivener is called to pull a file.

From @fuckyeahisawthatat's comment here :

I found this scene to be quite chilling, actually. Not only is the idea of Heaven as a surveillance state brilliant (way to make “God is always watching” sound way more ominous) but this is exactly how modern surveillance states work. They don’t actively watch everybody all the time. That’s not physically possible for humans, and even if it is metaphysically possible for Heaven, it’s not a very efficient use of resources. Surveillance states watch people they deem “suspicious.” And once you’ve been put in the category of “suspicious,” they have massive amounts of data that they can comb through to collect a lot of information about you–to retroactively build a case justifying why you’re suspicious, to collect information about where you go and who you associate with, etc.

Yes.

So we either have secret collusion in the rank and file, or we have a surveillance state that is constantly reinforced to its subjects for fear's sake, for control.

(Well, it obviously could be both.)

BUT my point is… Up until Edinburgh, Hell has not been watching (or caring at least). And up until near the end of Armageddon't, neither has Heaven.

Oh, my poor Angel. Thousands of years, of denying yourself, of pushing Crowley away, of carrying around a tension that is it's own constellation.

After 1827 you might have reason, but for the 5000+ years before that?

Thousands of years and Heaven was not watching nor cared.

You were right to fear. And you were wrong to believe.

And that just breaks my heart.

[cerastes]

You're better at mechanics than I am so can you please explain how/when to use Iana S2 vs S1?

Iana plays more like an Ambusher than a Dollkeeper, and is unique in that her "doll" form is actually her real self, while the "Operator" is the doll, or hologram in her case. This, in gameplay, translates to her unique form of Dollkeeping: She'll always instantly go into "doll" form the moment she's attacked, inflicting Reveal and Fragile onto the offending enemy. This happens no matter the range at which she was attacked. I bring this up because her skills, which all involve going "doll", practically have this baked into them in addition to whatever else they individually do.

Now, Iana is an easy M6.

S1 is a Geese Howard ass counterframes skill. No matter where, no matter how, if you attack her hologram, you get punched in the face REALLY hard by the ensuing S1 explosion, which is a mine Iana throws at you. You'll often see this in proximity, as most likely, she'll be hit by melee enemies or by nearby ranged enemies. This is where I must bring up the wording on the skill: When the skill says it centers the explosion of Physical damage on the attacker, it's being very literal. If Faust or a mortar enemy launches an attack on Iana from 50 kilometers away on the other side of the map, then Iana will run all the way over there and punch them in the god damn face with an explosion.

Pictured above: Iana S1

And invisibility won't save them, either, because remember, she Reveals and Fragiles the enemy that attacks her hologram, which also means the attack is actually stronger than its already huge multiplier.

The blast is centered on the enemy that triggers the counterframes, so it has some AoE use. In maps with a lot of enemies grouped together, like every RA2 horde ever, this is a hugely strong skill, likewise, it's a great counter against annoying long range enemies, or enemies with high Defense, since it hits Anywhere Ever, and the multipliers on this are huge. It's case use is pretty ample.

S2 is pretty versatile, since it has low SP charge (5 at M3), and, the game doesn't tell you this, but even though it's manually activated, it ALSO can be activated through counterframes if SP is full, meaning, someone hits Iana, they are now Revealed and Fragiled, and Iana reaps all the benefits of S2.

Pictured above: The benefits of S2 (sans Invisibility, which she also gets)

It's a pretty good general use skill, since you can shred mid-Defense enemies pretty nicely, destroy air enemies with ease, and it also Reveals all enemies in range, so whenever you're playing a map with really annoying Invisible units, well, this also helps with that.

Compared to other Dollkeepers, she has more range, so set her appropriately to maximize her coverage with this in mind.

The simple cheat sheet is S1 is good for high DEF enemies, long range enemies, and tons of clustered units (both naturally clustered, or those clustered by means of a Decel Binder, for example, wink wink), while S2 is good for every other occasion, especially against mid-and-below DEF enemies and air enemies, but just is a good skill in general, with particular additional utility against multiple Invisible enemies. And she's a great, constant, consistent source of Fragile, to boot.

[hugmekenobi]

S3: The Bad Batch (13)

Chapter Thirteen: Into the Breach

Gif by @trapezequeen

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Ever since Eriadu, Clone Force 99 had been a fractured squad. Months have passed but you're finally back with the Batch but Omega is still out there and you won't stop until you find her again.

Chapter Summary: Omega gets to work on an escape plan of her own. Meanwhile. the Batch aren't about to let a chance to get to Tantiss slip away

Masterlist for S1 and S2

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, me making up science and medical stuff, Rampart, Hemlock being a manipulative creep, heavy angst, mentions of injections and drugging for interrogation purposes, injury descriptions (blood, bruising, cuts), depictions of physical and emotional torture, lotta internal conflicts, referenced character 'death', me giving more conflict to Emerie's internal struggles

Word Count: 7.6K

Author's notes: It's a tough one this week and that will be the remaining theme as we enter these last few chapters but there's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise!!

It was another new day and Omega, now back in the plain grey uniform, had come to terms with her predicament now and was growing more accustomed with the daily routine of the vault. She woke up as the artificial light encompassed the room and her cell door opened.

She had given it a while, but she’d decided that now was the time to plan not only her escape, but the escape of all the kids here. And she would find you in the process. But, to do that, she needed the kids to know that they could trust her.

Omega walked out into the room and approached the young female Iktotchi with her old straw Lula doll. “Hello. I’m Omega.” She said warmly.

“I’m Eva.” Eva replied, a tad shyly.

“What’s that?” Omega asked about the hologram in front of Eva.

“A game. They want us to play them.”

Omega glanced to under the tabletop to see a drawer. She opened it and brought out a case filled with coloured puzzle pieces, each of a different shape. “I like your doll.” She said as she fiddled with the pieces, hoping the comment would help Eva feel more at ease around her.

Eva clutched the doll tightly. “Dr. Karr gave it to me.” Eva turned off her game as she said, “She’s the only nice one.”

That gave Omega a flicker of hope that perhaps her words had had more of an impact on Emerie than she’d thought but she followed Eva’s concerned look to the glass windows above to see the hordes of scientists lurking and staring down at them, “Are they always watching?”

“Yeah. The droids too.”

“That’s Jax.” Eva pointed to the green Mirialan that had answered Omega’s question before she introduced the others. “Sami, and Baryn. This is Omega.” She said to the three of them.

Omega nodded to the Pantoran girl holding the Tarlafar baby. “How long have you all been here?”

“They don’t like it when we talk to each other so much.” Sammi said nervously.

“And if you cause problems, things only get worse.” Jax added mournfully. “Come on, Sammi.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it.” Sammi said dully as she followed Jax to another table.

Getting used to it was not in her plan, but she’d bide her time. Omega carried on arranging the shapes in front her, but her mind drifted to you- if they were all to play games, she had to anxiously wonder about what kind of games Hemlock had in mind for you.

--

“Good morning, Emerie. What’s on the schedule today?” You croaked with forced enthusiasm as the door opened. You already knew the answer, but it was the same question you’d asked every time since Hemlock’s plan for you had been enacted that first morning after you’d arrived.

Emerie swallowed tightly as she walked in with the troopers. You look particularly bad today- your cheekbone was purple, and the swelling hadn’t quite gone down yet and the cut on your lip was still open and oozing and she was sure your ribs weren’t doing much better after the beating you took yesterday. “Dr. Hemlock wants you back in the training room.” She said, hoping she didn’t let her discomfort slip through.

The reprieve from the uncomfortable position and biting metallic cuffs was always short-lived because it was instantly replaced by the cruel, pinching grip on your upper arms.

You were pulled to your feet, and you bit back the groan that threatened to spill from your lips as your sore and tired body protested the action. You watched Emerie walk over to you and take your blood sample. “And then I’m assuming we have our regularly scheduled session with the good doctor afterwards?” This was the only part of the routine that varied. If you weren’t taken to that room, you remained in the cell and had more rounds with the interrogation droid and honestly, you welcomed the training room days because that was a pain you could cope with more.

“I… believe that is his plan, yes.” Emerie said, shifting her eyes from you as you were marched past her.

“Don’t look so sad. After all, you’re part of a great scientific adventure.” You remarked over your shoulder as you were led away.

Right… somehow that didn’t feel so good anymore. You had attempted to sound satirical, but you were too weak to convey it effectively so the genuine dullness and pain in your voice was the only thing Emerie had heard. She shook the counter-productive sympathies away and headed to process your sample before she went back to the vault.

--

You stayed still as you let the trooper tie the blindfold over your eyes- you were used to this by now too. It was only after that was done that you were shoved into what you assumed was the training room that was always being referenced.

The blindfold was Hemlock’s way of keeping the secrecy element of this room intact. Plus, he claimed it was a way to see how your Midichlorians reacted when channelling the Force in a threatening situation because without your sight, you had to use the Force to guide you more.

“You know, for someone who claims to be sophisticated, you sure do like seeing me get beaten up.” You called out, knowing he was somewhere observing this whole thing. The response, however, came in the form of an injection in your neck and your entire body seized up- this was an unwelcomed change. “What-” The internal effects were instantaneous and all too recognisable. Dread and fear started to squeeze around your chest.

“An alteration to my methods. I wish to study how you handle both the physical and mental strain when meeting them together, rather than tackling them separately.” Hemlock explained as he nodded to Scorch to leave the room after the injection had been successful. He then gestured to the four operatives to come into view. “Begin.”

You stood unsteadily on your feet as that familiar haziness and fogginess set in, but you found strength in the Force and pushed it away to focus on the other threat that was about to happen.

You sensed the bodies around you.

There were four of them.

Each one of them were poised and ready to fight.

You parried away the first series of but a strong kick from someone else landed against your still injured and bruised ribs. Winded, you tumbled back a few paces.

“I want you to remember Deveron.” Hemlock began.

You couldn’t help it; the memory of that first meeting was as clear as day in your brain and the warmth the nostalgia brought you felt as though you were right back there. No, snap out of it, don’t let him twist these memories for his own gain. Knuckles grazed the side of your head as you managed to duck just in time but the pain that shoving away the memory was all too real.

“I want you to remember the Reek stampede.”

Your back stiffened as the emotions of that day and what it had meant overwhelmed you but clearing your head quickly, you anticipated the punch to your jaw and took a half step back to avoid it, but you weren’t fluid in your steps and setting yourself again left your stomach open for another onslaught of blows.

Hemlock quashed his own irritations at the lack of progress and kept pushing, though the language he had to use now left a foul taste in his mouth but it was for a greater purpose so he could make do for now, “I want you to remember every bonding moment with Clone Force 99.”

“I want you to remember the first time you met Omega.”

“I want you to remember Kamino and afterwards when you and Hunter told each other your… affections for one another.”

You choked as the oxygen was snatched from your lungs as pushing away those beautiful memories brought with it a different but just as crushing kind of pain. You didn’t manage to stop the series of punches that landed on your nose and mouth this time. The harsh taste of iron flooded behind your teeth as blood dripped down the back of your throat and from your nostrils. You hastily spat it out but there was a steady distracting deluge of blood leaving your nose now.

“You can feel that happy again. I’m allowing that for you. I have them here and you can be back with them all again. Omega is safe too.”

You deflected the kick to your thigh but fumbled avoiding the kick to your back as you felt yourself growing more passive under his words. He sounded so genuine, they really could be- no, it was all fake. He didn’t mean it. It was a false reality.

“You can feel that all again. They’re right outside and they’re waiting for you.”

No, no one was waiting for you. You avoided the strike that was intended for the back of your knee and questioned in a breathless panic, “Where are you getting all this from?”

“Tech has been most informative, and I’ve learned all sorts about you. He wants to see you again.”

That broke the illusion, and it was where he slipped up. You already knew Tech was dead, you were so certain of that and so his lies to that matter had no effect. You weren’t sure how he knew all these references but at least you felt your focus coming back more as you smoothly avoided and parried away a series of jabs and kicks from your attackers.

Hemlock noticed you gained more clarity after he said that, evidently there’d be no way to convince you of that fact without giving everything away, so he went back to the original tactic. “Don’t you want to be with them again? They’re your family, are they not?”

The impact of the statement sent you tripping backwards of your own accord. Your recovery was slow, and you barely managed to avoid the punch to your cheek and your chin took the follow up blow.

“You hear them calling for you.” Hemlock taunted as he watched you go between fighting with yourself and the attackers surrounding you. Your strength was something to be admired but he needed it to work for his purposes and for that, you needed to break.

You could, you could hear their voices, they were calling your name, but they sounded distorted, something wasn’t quite right with them. It couldn’t be them; Hemlock would never allow for such a peaceful thing.

You blocked the oncoming punch but a shove to your chest sent you stumbling backwards.

“Don’t you wish to go to them?” Hemlock maintained the scenario as he observed you.

Yes- no, it wasn’t true! You fought with your own brain before another strong punch to your jaw distracted you from the internal battle and you sensed the follow-up kick coming for your stomach which you dodged.

“You only need to join me, and I’ll promise you’ll be reunited.”

No, no you couldn’t do that. They weren’t here, he was lying. They- This time, you felt the tip of a blade slice through your clothing and across your skin. You yelped in pain but before you could react, a kick to that wounded area sent you sprawling to the ground, and you contorted in agony as a combination of fists and feet stamped on your side and the fresh cut there.

“Enough.”

Upon Hemlock’s command, you immediately felt the bodies above you stop but all you could hear in your mind were the warped and falsified voices of your family and you hated it. You longed to be around them again, you longed to talk to them again, and you knew it wasn’t possible. “Make it stop, make it stop.” You whispered frantically as you clutched your head.

Hemlock gave you that relief. He needed you as clear-headed as possible for the next session in order for his tests to be the most effective and for the results to be an untainted as possible. “You can no longer hear them. You know that you’re back in the training room.” He told you.

His words sank in, and your breathing evened out.

The mental effects of the dosage began to fade but only enough to make the physical pain you were feeling more apparent.

Hemlock crouched down next to your beaten body. “Such unnecessary suffering. It can end, you need only accept my proposition.” Hemlock offered as he wiped away the blood secreting from the various wounds on your face.

The offer always got the same response from you, “Go to hell.” You wheezed as you slapped his hand away and braced yourself against the ground. You gingerly sat on your knees and pressed your hands to your side in an attempt to stop the steady flow of blood leaving the cut.

Hemlock only chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, I believe you’re already there. And we’re not done yet.”

Your throat tightened with fear as you heard the threatening promise in his words.

The images and sounds you’d been subjected to still remained faintly in your head as you were harshly tugged to your feet. Your feeble struggles against the hold the troopers took of you had no impact as you were pulled from the training room, but you didn’t have the strength to hold yourself up properly, so your feet dragged behind you.

Hemlock avoided the spatters of blood dripping from your body as he walked just behind.

--

Rampart paced irritably across the filthy and decrepit landing platform, “Where in the blasted galaxy did that pirate abandon us? And why are you keeping me here?” He directed his question towards Hunter.

Hunter didn’t so much as glance up from the datapad as he replied, “You’d prefer we take you back to that Imperial labour camp instead?”

Rampart sighed, “We had a deal. I already told you what I know about Tantiss.”

Hunter angled himself to face Rampart this time. “You’ll get your freedom when we get the exct coordinates to that base.”

Before Rampart could argue further, the sound of an approaching ship interrupted him.

Hunter made sure to push past Rampart’s shoulder as he went to go meet Echo.

Echo came down off the ramp and clasped Hunter’s hand in greeting.

“Nice work.” Hunter complimented as he took in the new ship Echo had acquired.

“A stolen shuttle is the best I could do on short notice.” Echo said. “The supplies we need are aboard.” His face hardened as he saw Rampart. “You really think we can trust that hydrosnake?”

“I can hear you.” Rampart scoffed pointedly.

Hunter half-turned back to Rampart. “No, but he’s our best chance at finding them.”

His brother may have been putting on a convincing front, but it still wasn’t his usual ‘put together’ nature- something just felt off. Echo hesitantly started to ask, “And… how are y-”

“Fine.” Hunter replied roughly.

Echo figured now was not the time to push the matter further, so he simply nodded and turned back for the ship.

Hunter followed Echo on-board.

Crosshair hit Rampart’s back with his rifle to get him to move. Was it necessary? Probably not but he found the displeased look on Rampart’s face at the action rather amusing.

Wrecker shoved Rampart down into one of the seats. “Now, start talking.”

Rampart groaned in exasperation. “Oh, how many times do I have to explain it? Hemlock put safeguards in place to keep his base’s location a secret.”

“But you’ve been there before?” Hunter said, his frustration at Rampart’s persistent evasiveness making his tone more aggressive than

“Any ship going there must first dock at Imperial Station 003 in orbit over Coruscant where the coordinates are transmitted directly to the navicomputer.” Rampart explained.

Echo pulled up the hologram of the station. “Well, his intel about the orbital station checks out.” He agreed reluctantly. “But I can’t confirm the rest of his story.”

“Do you think I’m lying?” Rampart said with an offended scoff.

“Yes.” Crosshair and Wrecker said at the same time.

Hunter analysed the map, “Once we reach the station, we can find a ship departing for Tantiss and pull the coordinates.”

“We’re going to need Imperial clearance codes.” Crosshair said.

“Got that covered.” Echo confirmed.

Rampart interrupted the proceeding with a chuckle. They made is sound so simple, yet their naivety was astounding. “Unlikely. Those codes change every rotation.”

“Which why we’re not waiting around.” Hunter responded impatiently.

“Even with a stolen shuttle and clearance codes, you can’t expect to walk onto an Imperial station completely unnoticed.” Rampart pointed out.

“But you can.” Crosshair countered.

“And we’ll be your security detail.” Hunter added on.

“You just walk us right onto the station.” Echo rounded off the brief by chucking Rampart an Imperial uniform.

This was never in the arrangement. “You cannot be serious.” Rampart argued.

“You were an Imperial before. Impersonating one should be easy enough.” Hunter said unsympathetic to Rampart’s unease.

Rampart supposed he better get on board with this quickly or he’d be landing himself right back on Erebus but there was still one small issue that had to be rectified at once. “I can’t wear this. It’s a captain’s uniform.” He pointed to the rank markings on the top but all he received in response was a series of blank, uncaring faces. “I was a vice admiral.” Surely, they had to understand how improper this was?

“Well, you’ve been demoted.” Echo replied bluntly.

“I hate clones.” Rampart muttered to himself.

--

Omega sat in the cot in her cell as Emerie kneeled in front of her.

Emerie reached for her hand. “It’s time for your sample, Omega.”

“The other kids. Where did they come from?” Omega asked as her blood was being drawn.

“I don’t know. But they are well looked after here.”

“I’d like to believe you.”

Emerie withdrew the vial and placed it in the small storage slots that came from a hidden compartment in the walls.

Whilst she was distracted with that, Omega sneakily stole a sharp implement from the testing kit and slipped it up her sleeve.

“And… is she being well looked after?” Omega noted the way Emerie made sure to avoid her eyes as she tidied up the equipment.

“I’ll be checking on her soon.” Emerie replied, using her words carefully and she left before Omega could ask any more questions and headed upstairs to join the other scientist on the observation level.

Omega watched her go and she let her mind drift to worrying about you before she focused on the task at hand. She’d make sure to see you soon.

--

“Letting Omega intermingle with the specimens in unwise.” Dr. Scalder advised as she saw the girl join one of the tables.

Emerie paid little attention to the objection. “They’re engaging in the activities I’ve provided to keep their minds active. Besides, they are under our watchful eye.”

“That didn’t stop her from causing problems in the past.”

“I’m the chief scientist. I will run the vault as I see fit.” Emerie said definitively. With that, she left the room to go join Hemlock next.

--

“How often do the droids take our vitals?” Omega asked covertly as she pretended to play with the puzzle game.

“Twice a day. After meals.” Eva informed her boredly.

“What about the troopers? Do they ever come in here?”

“Only when we cause trouble.” Jax informed her.

“Jax tried to escape once, but he didn’t get very far.” Eva revealed.

“There’s no way outta here. We’re never going home.” Jax said with a sad sigh.

Well, that wasn’t how she was going to go about this. “Want to know a secret? I escaped from this mountain before.”

All of them perked up at that.

“Really?” Eva gasped.

“How?” Jax asked as a follow up.

“I had training. And I wasn’t alone. Know what else? I’m doing it again, and I’m taking you all with me.” Omega said confidently before she moved the box aside to show them what she’d been working on. “Look.”

All the kids gathered round to see what she’d created.

“It’s a layout of the vault.” Omega explained before she labelled each section of the improvised diagram. “This is where we’re sitting right now. These are the walls. These are the tubes in the walls the droids use to transport our samples. I need to get inside and see where they go.”

“Only the droids can access those hatches.” Jax said.

Omega messed up the puzzle piece layout to avoid attracting attention and subtly revealed the tool she’d snagged earlier. “I can get them open. I just need them not to see me.” She glanced up to the observation deck.

“Won’t take them long to notice you’re missing.” Jax pointed out.

Omega simply gave an unphased smile, “That’s okay. I like a challenge.”

--

The blindfold was whipped off you as you were brought back to your cell, but you had no time to adjust since you were hastily tied up again.

Hemlock waited until the cuffs were back on and you were chained to the wall again. “Bring in the droid.”

Emerie entered with the droid that had the serum ready to go but came to a sudden halt as she took you in.

There was no ignoring your freshly bloody and beaten appearance but that was the norm now.

What wasn’t the norm, however, and it was the element that caught her off guard, was the still distant and glazed look in your eyes that tended to follow as an aftereffect of the interrogations.

“Dr. Karr?” Hemlock queried as he saw the sudden and unusual reaction.

Emerie fumbled over her words slightly, “Am- am I late, Dr. Hemlock? I… thought you had business in the training room first?”

“No, you are right on time. I merely… adjusted our technique.”

“Sir?”

“Come, Dr. Karr, you know that the pursuit of knowledge and getting results sometimes requires that we alter how we go about our research and that includes our interactions with specimens.”

What he’d done clicked with her then and suddenly the idea of putting you through, yet another round so soon felt like a very bad idea. “Should we not wait longer? If her body needs to recover more, this session could-”

“No, our methods need to get more aggressive. This is the new approach. Do you have a problem with that, Dr. Karr?” A firm challenge behind the softness of his tone.

Emerie snapped out of it, “Of course not, Doctor.” She handed Hemlock the datapad with the questions and scenarios that seemed to get to you the most. She put the monitor on you and connected it to her own datapad. She hated watching this part the most, but Hemlock had charged her with taking your samples and monitoring your vitals during this, so she had to stay.

The electronic warbling from the approaching droid always sent a cold rush of fear through your heart. You knew it was pointless to resist but the way your body instinctively tried to get away from the needle couldn’t be helped.

You inhaled sharply as it pricked your neck and that groggy, yet detached bodily sensation swiftly overcame you once more.

Hemlock released a content and easy sigh, “Now, today I think we’ll go with your dear Sergeant Hunter.”

“No.” You groaned as you already started to pull against the chains. “Not him.” You pleaded as your resistance crumbled away. You closed your eyes as you were helpless to what was to come.

Hemlock ignored you, “Do you feel that heat, that burning pain in your body?”

You had to conserve what fight and strength you had left so you allowed yourself to let those words take hold but what you couldn’t do was allow him to use Hunter to get to you in this way.

You felt the fire course through your veins and your body seized up with the intense pain it brought. You tugged against the chain, but it brought you no relief.

Satisfied that he had a hold on you again, Hemlock kept the torture going, “That agony, that burning pain that you’re feeling that feels like every nerve is on fire? Like your very being is being burned from the inside out? He’s feeling that too. As it gets worse for you, it gets worse for him.”

Hunter’s senses, he wouldn’t- no, he was safe. He wasn’t in pain. You told yourself as the burning in your own body intensified under Hemlock’s words.

“You can hear his cries…”

And you could. You heard Hunter screaming out your name. Screaming, pleading, begging for your help. They raged in your head, and you needed them to stop.

You yanked against the chains and your breathing came in the form of short, sharp pants and your body heaved with the effort of fighting against the serum’s effects and Hemlock’s voice.

“He’s calling for you. He wants you to make it end. Don’t you want to help him?”

Yes, you’d do anything to help him. You could join Hemlock, you’d do that for- no, stop. You told yourself.  

“He’s in pain, he’s begging you to help him.”

“Hunter…” You rasped with a broken cry.

“He wants you but he’s hurting. And it’s because of you.”

Tears escaped your shut eyes and slid down your cheeks.

“I can end his suffering, just surrender to me.”

Yes, surrender and save Hunter- no, you’d never hurt him, and Hemlock wasn’t either. It was a lie. You thought internally as you continued to strain against your confinement so that the words wouldn’t take root.

“I’ll make it stop. I’ll let him hold you.”

Yes, that’s what you- No. Hunter wasn’t here, he couldn’t possibly be here. You reminded yourself as you tossed your head from side to side to rid yourself of the security that idea brought you… that made you all the more susceptible to Hemlock’s voice and his suggestions.

You had to push it away. You inhaled sharply and groaned, and you knew you’d succeeded when the pain came raging back again instead.

“Sir…” Emerie interjected timidly. She didn’t like the way your vitals were looking right now.

Hemlock raised his hand to quiet her and kept his attentions fixated on you. He’d seen a subtle change in you, a willingness to cooperate that hadn’t been present before. He needed to get back and now he knew the way to do so, “Don’t you want to feel his comfort once more?”

You thrashed against the chain and violently shook your head as if you could physically get rid of the images being created in your head, “No, it’s not real, it’s not real!” You cried as your entire body convulsed in both mental and physical agony.  

“Oh, but it is…”

“It’s not.” You whimpered, but your conviction faltered for a moment as Hunter’s image entered your head and the comfort it brought you felt so real.

“And you can see him…”

No, remember it was a trick. “Stop!” 

“Dr. Hemlock-” Emerie attempted to interject again as she kept an eye on your rapidly deteriorating vitals but again, he gestured to her to stay silent.

Hemlock continued his torment, “You can go to him…”

“No, I can’t! He’s not here, he’s not here!” Saying the words aloud was the only way you could fight against both your physical captor and the one in your mind. You were uncaring of the way the cuffs dug in and rubbed the skin of your wrists raw as you writhed in pain.

Hemlock noted your distressed reactions, but it didn’t matter to him, he could see this was the way to break you and he was almost there. “Just give into me and he’ll be yours again.”

“Stop!” You begged through hoarse and strained breaths.

“Dr. Hemlock!” Emerie urged more strongly this time as she saw the way your body was collapsing due to the strain of resisting the serum’s effects. If he went on for much longer, you wouldn’t make it.

Hemlock glanced at Emerie’s datapad and saw the minor cause of her rather ill-timed and inconvenient anxiety. He ground out a sigh and relented. Her interruptions would only hinder things. He stopped and allowed Emerie to take the droid away and monitor off.

Hemlock waited a few minutes for you to stabilise and come back to the present moment again. You were a formidable adversary which is why he knew he had to have you in his ranks and that meant altering his methodology further. “Increase her injection level. We go for longer next time. No interruptions, Dr. Karr.”

Emerie clutched her datapad tight to her chest and, without clearly thinking it through, started to protest the order, “Dr. Hemlock, her body can’t handle-”

“I know what she can handle, Dr. Karr.” Hemlock said sharply before he crouched down to your level and brushed his hands through your hair before he tucked his fingers under your chin. “Unless you wish it to stop. Why suffer more? All you have to do is join me.”

Your body heaved with each distressed pant as you made yourself meet his eyeline. “Go to hell.” You spat with as much venomous spite as you could muster. You managed a tired, half smirk of your own as you saw the flash of frustration behind his eyes.

Hemlock inhaled and exhaled a deep sigh to calm himself. “See it done for the next round today. Be sure to take her blood. We’ll still need records of how her M-Count reacts to each technique.” He directed Emerie as he past her and left the room.

“Yes, sir.” Emerie said quietly before she approached your side with the sampling equipment and injected the needle into your hand. She gulped as she saw the new dark red bloodstain on your clothing and the fresh blood leaking through your clothes that was now forming a small puddle on the floor. She feared what would become of you if that wound went unchecked. “If you just joined him, it would stop. You-”

“I can’t, Emerie.” You said through gritted teeth as you pressed yourself against the wall and closed your eyes. You ignored the stinging and dripping wound on your side and allowed yourself to drift off into nothingness because that was the only time you found peace now.

--

“We’re approaching Coruscant.” Hunter informed Echo as he came to see how he was getting on burning the paint off his helmet like he’d been doing for himself and the rest of their armour pieces.

Echo lifted his helmet as he heard the words. “All the armour’s been stripped. But we’re still not gonna blend in.” He tossed Hunter’s now all black helmet to him. “You really think Rampart can pull this off?”

Hunter caught it but didn’t put it on right away. He stared at it and his mind drifted back to a very different time.

He remembered back to his squad’s first official missions during the war, back when they’d all wanted to blend in.

But it had soon become clear that that wasn’t an option any of them wanted to follow. Establishing their own stand-out colours had been a significant moment, it hadn’t felt like it then, but it was.

Then they’d only grown more into the squad that they were today. The squad that owned who they were and the differences that came with that.

A tradition that had carried on when Echo joined.

And when you’d joined.

And when Omega joined too.

He recalled the days of Ord Mantell and when Lyra had changed their traditional red and black colours to the hues of blue, red, yellow and orange. It had marked the end of an era but also the beginning of a new one.

He’d remembered the pride and affection that had swelled in his chest that day when he’d seen that his colours had mirrored yours.

But now all those meaningful colours were gone. And the memory of that would be something he’d hold on to.

Rampart’s indignant cough at Echo’s words as he emerged from the refresher pulled Hunter out his thoughts. “I beg your pardon. I didn’t just make it to vice admiral on looks alone.” He had to admit it, it felt good to have his hair and beard no longer be a tangled mess and he relished being back in proper uniform again, even with an inferior rank.

Hunter said nothing, he only turned and went to the pilot’s seat and put through the transmission coming from the station.

“Rho-class shuttle, we have you on approach. Please identify.”

Echo activated the ship’s comm channel as he replied, “This is transport shuttle Alpha-44. Transmitting landing codes.”

There was a series of beeps as they all awaited confirmation.

“You’re clear to land at docking bay 5-tac-02.” The technician permitted.

“We can’t stay docked for long.” Echo cautioned. “This shuttle’s bound to be reported missing soon.”

“Assuming we’re not captured or killed during this little mission, what assurances do I have that you’ll let me go?” Rampart interjected.

Crosshair stared at him. “You’re going to have to trust us. Just like we have to trust you.”

“So don’t mess this up.” Wrecker added sternly.

Rampart turned to the big clone, “Hmm. Mess this up? I know how to carry myself.” He said self-righteously. “You’re the ones that are gonna stand out like overheated Gamorreans.”

--

This ship docked successfully, and it had been decided that Hunter, Crosshair and Echo would form Rampart’s security detail whilst Wrecker staying behind to watch the shuttle.

Before the four of them disembarked, Hunter caught Rampart’s shoulder and angled Rampart’s body towards him. He ignored to disgusted look on Rampart’s face at the action and began his warning, “The Empire betrayed and imprisoned you. We broke you out. Remember that before you try and betray us.”

Rampart obnoxiously wiped the spot on his shoulder where the clone’s hand had been. “I’m here, aren’t I? Let’s get this over with.” Rampart grumbled as he led the way off the shuttle.

Crosshair and Hunter donned their helmets like Echo had done earlier and stepped off to greet the Imperial that had just walked through the hangar doors.

“Who is responsible for this vessel? It is not on my docking manifest for today.”

Hunter took point and stood in front of the officer whilst the others remained behind by Rampart’s side. He remained still and silent as the Imperial examined him, but it was taking more willpower than he’d expected to wait this inspection out. He didn’t have time to humour Imperial questions.

“What division are you with? These uniforms are not regulation. I asked you a question, trooper.”

Rampart decided it was his moment to step in now. He shoved past Hunter and addressed the officer, “My division. And my orders are classified. If you have an issue with that, Lieutenant, then contact Governor Tarkin.” Rampart felt rather smug as saw the name have the desired effect. That flash of panic followed by an immediate desire to comply from subordinates was a part of the job he had missed dearly. “Now carry on.”

“Uh, y-yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” The Lieutenant automatically straightened up and went back through the doors he had come from.

Rampart turned back to the clones and waved a hand towards the doors, “Shall we?”

--

Rampart led the way to the desired destination. “The control room is up ahead. We can access the station manifest from there.”

“Just do your thing and get us inside. We’ll handle the rest.” Echo said frankly.

The insolence he constantly received from these clones was getting to be a little much. “That’s ‘Do your thing, sir’.”

“I don’t think so.” Echo replied in a low, disapproving growl.

Rampart paused as they reached the guarded door and spoke to the two officers, “Troopers, you are relieved.”

“Captain?”

“Report to the barracks. You’ll receive further instructions.”

“But, sir, we just started our shift.”

“Perhaps you’d like to spend a few rotations in the brig for violating Article 15 of the Imperial standing order 10?” Rampart threatened.

The two troopers glanced at each other. “No, sir.” With that, they moved out.

The group of them made it into the control room but the technician was willing to be as accommodating or passive as others had been.

Hunter barely let him get his protests out, he stunned the Imperial but caught his body and laid him gently on the ground rather than letting him fall harshly.

Crosshair shut the door whilst Echo plugged into the system.

“This is taking far too long. Can you crack the encryption or not?” Rampart asked anxiously.

“I’m working on it.” Echo snapped, unplugging and pushing past Rampart to try another terminal.

“Hunter, I had to sideline an Imperial. Someone might come looking for him.” Wrecker said over the comm channel.

“Copy that. Have the shuttle ready to go.” Hunter glanced over at Echo as he heard a series of more positive sounding beeps.

“I’m in.” Echo confirmed as he read the information now on the screen. “A science vessel docked in Bay 8 is set to depart for Tantiss, and soon.”

“Let’s get to that navicomputer and pull the coordinates.” Hunter ordered swiftly.

“We can’t. The vessel is tagged for uplink after it launches.”

“Which means there’s no way to get the coordinates.” Crosshair deduced. “Did that slip your mind?” He directed the question to Rampart.

“You expect me to know technical details like that?” Rampart disputed.

Hunter wasn’t prepared to let this chance slip away. They- he- needed those coordinates no matter what. “Then there’s only one option left. We can’t extract those coordinates. But that vessel is heading to Tantiss. That’s our way in.”

“What?” Rampart questioned in disbelief. Surely they realised this was venture was now dead in the water.  

“It’s the only chance we have of finding them and freeing those prisoners.”

Rampart sighed, there was that naivety again. “Science vessels have heightened security protocols. There’s no way you can all sneak aboard undetected.”

“But I can.” Echo volunteered.

“You can’t go alone.” Crosshair argued.

“He’s not.” Hunter said. “Once you’re aboard, find a way to disable the proximity sensors. We’ll follow behind, then attach our shuttle to the hull and hitch a ride directly to Tantiss.”

“Now, wait just a minute. This is not the plan I agreed to.” Rampart objected strongly.

“Plans change.” Crosshair sneered.

Hunter caught Echo’s shoulder as he passed, “They’ll monitor comms. So, we’ll have to go radio silent. Watch your back.”

The four of them left the room and split off.

--

Omega watched as the droid left and when it looked like the scientists above were not looking, she slipped into her room and used her tool to jimmy away at the wall panels.

She was successful in taking a few of them apart which allowed her to stick her head through the gap and take in the shaft of space behind the panels and was pleased to see there was room for her to manoeuvre around and explore what lay beyond the walls of the vault. However, as she her shoulder and more tumbled down, making more noise than she was comfortable with.

Omega knew she didn’t have a lot of time, Dr. Scalder kept a very keen eye and had probably noticed her absence and so was most likely already on her way down. She hurriedly tidied them back up and sat innocently on her cell’s makeshift bed as Dr. Scalder entered. “Hello, Dr. Scalder.” She said casually.

Dr. Scalder said nothing and cast her eyes around the room for signs that anhthing was amiss.

“Is something wrong?” Omega inquired.

Dr. Scalder only gave a mild hum in response before she walked out and left the vault to go back to her post.

Omega released a relieved sigh and rejoined the rest of the kids.

“Well?” Jax asked.

“Did it work?” Eva followed up.

“Uh huh.” Omega replied.

“What did you find?” Sammi asked quietly as Baryn played on her lap.

“Our way out.” Omega said confidently.

--

Hunter and the others ran onto the ship just as Wrecker was ridding the shuttle of the unconscious Imperial.

“’Bout time.” Wrecker grunted before he gently sat the Imperial down on some crates and placed his cap back on his head and joined the others again.

“Hunter, I’m inside the ship. It’s launching right now.” Echo commed in.

“Get those sensors disabled.” Hunter hastily powered up the ship and set it off for the pilot’s seat to get the ship in the air and in the direction of the shuttle Echo was on.

--

Using the droid transport chute had meant that Echo had successfully snuck aboard the shuttle leaving for Tantiss but where he’d run into trouble was in the form of the unnecessary delay caused by the trooper sent down to investigate his activities down below.

--

“What are you waiting for?” Wrecker asked as Hunter slowed the ship down.

“The proximity sensors haven’t been deactivated yet.”

Rampart- in his nervous state- had already strapped himself into one of the seats in the main hold. “This isn’t going to work. Their proximity sensors will detect us and shoot us down.”

“Relax. Echo’s on it.” Crosshair said to him.

--

With the trooper and his cover taken care of again, Echo was able to get back to work on disabling the sensors.

--

Hunter glanced down at his console as the beeping grew more incessant as it was indicating the ship ahead was getting ready to enter hyperspace.

“They’re about to jump.” Crosshair said, a hint of his own anxieties coming through now.

Hunter’s own resolve stayed steady. This wasn’t going to fail, he was getting to Tantiss, and Echo wouldn’t let them down. “Echo will come through. He just needs more time.”

“Which we don’t have.” Rampart stood up now and pushed past the other two clones who stood in the hallway just behind the pilot’s chair. “He’s probably been captured. Abort the mission.” He urged.

Wrecker and Crosshair only waited. This wasn’t their call to make or have a say on this time.

That wasn’t an option and no one, certainly not Rampart, was going to convince him that it was. Hunter kept his eyes fixed on the shuttle ahead and his voice was cold and unyielding as he said, “Negative.” He powered up the engines again and made for the bottom of the shuttle. He turned the ship upside down right as the console indicated that the sensors were down. He attached to the Tantiss shuttle just as it entered hyperspace.

They were getting those clones out of there.

They were getting Omega out of there.

They were getting you out of there.

--

“Oh, come on, Emerie. You’re killing me here, aren’t you a little early?” You moaned as you forced yourself up, wincing as the cut on your side felt like it ripped itself open more. It seemed like you’d only just finished the latest round with torture droid equipped with the new parameters Hemlock had set out and yet here Emerie was again.

Emerie found that she really didn’t like that that’s all you associated her with. She wanted to pursue knowledge and be known for her science, not hurting people. “I’m not- I’m not here for that.”

You just about managed to open your eyes but did a doubletake because you weren’t certain that what you were seeing wasn’t due to the blood loss and there was the possibility it was another one of Hemlock’s tricks. Getting to tell reality from hallucination was proving to be more challenging with each injection he put you through and this was one of those occasions where you weren’t sure what to believe because in your cell was Emerie.

Alone.

Holding a medkit and a flask of what you hoped was water.

“You’ve not been injected with anything.” Emerie could tell that’s where your thought process was heading as she knelt down next to you and pushed up the top of your uniform to examine the angry knife-wound on your side. Before she attended to it, she held the flask to your lips and let you drink from it.

The water cooled your sore throat, and the small act of unexpected kindness allowed the spark that Hemlock was doing his best to snuff out to grow more again.

You felt a few drips spill down your chin as she took it away, but you were too fixated on the way she was now attending to your injury to care, plus she’d seen you in far worse states.

“Why are you doing this? Why bother helping me?” You hissed in pain as she cleaned the wound and placed the bandage over it. You guessed the reason she hadn’t stitched it up or used any bacta was so that Hemlock remained unaware of the outside assistance, but you’d take any help you could get.

Emerie hesitated; she didn’t fully have the answer herself yet. “I don’t quite know but I do know Omega would want you to get through this.”

At Omega’s name, you felt a new surge of strength flow through you. “How is she?” You whispered.

“She’s fine. I’m doing what I can to watch out for her.” Emerie replied before she unscrewed the cap of the canteen again.

You huffed out a relieved breath. “Good.” You welcomed the final swig of water she offered you. “How long do I have?” You asked as she removed it and got the stuff together in order to leave it as though she’d never been here.  

“About 40 minutes.” Emerie admitted, her voice solemn.  

“Bring it on.” You said with a tight, pained smile.

Next Chapter>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @arctrooper69, @dominoeffectsworld, @andreaaxy, @notgonnaedit, @allthingsimagines , @nightmonkeysstuff , @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff @qvnthesia

[suspiciouscharacter1895]

Good Omens Fic List

At this point, I have produced 11 17 Good Omens fics. If that's the sort of thing you enjoy, peruse my catalog! All these are Crowley/Aziraphale, and most feature angst, cathartic love confessions, and smut (though not all). Have a suggestion? Love one of them? Let a girl know. I love doing this, and I love connecting with people who care about this universe as much as I do. I truly hope you enjoy!

See AO3 for full tags.

No Nightingales (T, 14.7k) Post S2 - It's been a year since Aziraphale left Crowley on Earth and neither of them are faring very well. A moment of crisis brings them together again, and this time it's up to Aziraphale to save Crowley. Plot heavy, mature themes but no sexual content.

Whatever You Want (E, 3.5k) Smutty little sequel to No Nightingales but can absolutely be read as a standalone. Aziraphale works through some guilt and Crowley works through some wish fulfillment. Gentle and loving first time.

Something I Can Do For You (E, 3.2) Post-bullet catch (1941), Aziraphale grapples with the implications of realizing he is in love with his best friend. Lighthearted, loving, slightly desperate first time.

Quite Sure (E, 2.7k) Can be imagined as a sequel to Something I Can Do for You, but doesn't rely on it in any way. Established relationship set 10 years after the bullet catch. Considers when Crowley fell for Aziraphale, featuring meditations on the whole thing with Job and sweet lovemaking, with Aziraphale taking care of Crowley.

Worship in the Bedroom (E, 3.6k) Post-S2 - Aziraphale is back from Heaven and he and Crowley are hiding from Heaven and Hell. No plot really, but lots of worshipful, healing, sensual sex, with Crowley working through some angst and being cared for as he deserves.

The Whole Darn World Seemed Upside Down (E, 5.2k) Post-S1 - Crowley has unresolved feelings he needs to work through. If only he were good at the whole vulnerability thing. Angst and mild conflict, followed by love confessions and...well you know.

Tempt Me (E, 6k) Set in an unspecified future when they figure it all out and are happy together. A fun little romp with Aziraphale being very into Crowley tempting him. Like VERY into it. Light dom/sub elements.

If You Like (E, 4.4k) Set the night of the failed S1 Armageddon. Aziraphale goes back to Crowley’s flat and both of the boys are forced to deal with some long-repressed feelings. If only they were better at talking. Angst-heavy, especially for Crowley.

Worth Knowing (E, 3.6k) Sequel to If You Like set after the Ritz. Aziraphale thought everything would change after they slept together, but everything seems to have gone back to normal. If Crowley isn't going to do anything about that, Aziraphale will. Happy ending! Loving, soft, sweet, love confessions.

Flashes of Love (G, 3.2k) NO SEX TOTALLY WHOLESOME. Set a few weeks after the averted Second Coming (which all worked out fine) in a world where they are happy and together. Aziraphale has an inkling that Crowley may be able to sense and share angelic love in a way most demons can’t. Crowley agrees to give it a shot.

Forgive Me (E, 1.6k) LOTS OF SEX NOT AT ALL WHOLESOME. Post S2 - Aziraphale muses on what he should want from Crowley, and what he actually wants. Both rough and gentle sex follows, entirely imagined by Aziraphale. Heavy angst, please check tags.

My Angel (E, 2k) Companion to Forgive Me, from Crowley's perspective. Pieces can be read in either order or independently. What he should want his first time with Aziraphale to be, and what he actually wants. Both rough and gentle sex follows, entirely imagined by Crowley. Heavy angst.

Might As Well Do It Properly (E, 5.7k) What if Shax and the demon horde didn't show up at Aziraphale's Regency ball? Maybe Aziraphale would use some leftover magic in the air to do something he's been meaning to do for a long time. Gentle, loving first time (with dancing!).

I Need You (E, 3.8k) What if Crowley and Aziraphale were together before the events of S2? What if Aziraphale left anyway? What if he came back, just for one night? Angsty, sexy.

You Were Right (T, 6.2k) The origin of the apology dance in 1650. Crowley does something that could get them both in a lot of trouble. Aziraphale jumps to some conclusions, and has to try to make up for it. Plotty, pining, sweet. T for some mature themes.

Wherever You Are, I’ll Come to You (G, 5.7k) Just after The Fall, Crawly has no memory of who he is or where he comes from. But he has the funniest idea that he needs to find someone. Descriptions of The Fall, an appearance of Lucifer, and some descriptions of C&A’s relationship as angels.

A Favour (G, 3.1k) Two weeks after their memorable evening in 1941, Aziraphale can't get Crowley out of his mind. Then the demon shows up on his doorstep asking for a favor. Mutual pining abounds. My contribution to the GOMM minisode minibang, written based on the delightful art of elliart7.

[krakensdottir]

Fav Aziraphale Moments in S2

Okay, I admit, I'm more of a Crowley blogger. He's my blorbo. But you literally can't love him without loving his other half. It's time to show some Aziraphale appreciation.

In no particular order, here are things Aziraphale did in S2 that made my jaw drop / breathing stop / otherwise really stuck with me:

Cradling the jar

Who would've thought hugging a jar of formaldehyde with a tumor floating in it could be heartbreaking? The look on Aziraphale's face when he learns it came from a young child, one that couldn't be saved, and the way his body language shifts as he tucks the jar close and precious against his chest, trying too late to protect it... Listen, I have really stubborn tear ducts, the final scene of S2 didn't make me cry (though it made a valiant effort), but I teared up at this.

Standing up to Crowley in the Job flashback

Really, the entire Job flashback is 10/10 for both of them. But Aziraphale especially shines when he steps in front of Crowley and says 'Tell me you want this.' They've only met a handful of times since the Fall at best, but Aziraphale is confident enough to call him out. And he doesn't falter or hesitate about it, either. He gets right up in the demon's face and makes him say it. Makes him lie outright that he wants to hurt anyone.

And then, of course, in front of the children, Aziraphale - no longer asking, now absolutely certain he's right - steps into Crowley's space again, looks him dead in his sinister eyes, and says he's dead sure those children are safe. Buddy, I had chills.

SPEAKING of chills...

I didn't know his voice could go that deep (Furfur scene)

Okay, I actually knew Michael Sheen could sound like that. But I admit, I 100% did not expect to hear it come out of Aziraphale. In the form of his own name, no less. I guess that's what happens when someone threatens Crowley right in front of him.

The sassy eyebrow

We've all talked about this but it's never a bad time to bring it up again. Shax really says 'You don't seem like his type' and Aziraphale's eyebrow says 'Honey you have no idea' right back at her. She can pry at his defenses in a lot of ways, but making him doubt his importance to Crowley is clearly not one of them. And that's really good to know.

Telling both demons and angels to fuck off

I was already giddy from seeing him go full Protective Principality at a horde of demons, but telling off the Archangels took it to a new level. He has had ENOUGH. Screw the angelic hierarchy, this is his bookshop and he's done. (Crowley giving him that oh-so-proud smile through the window without Az even knowing it was the icing on the cake. Yeah Crowley, I feel exactly the same.)

Honorable mention, again from the Job flashback: when Crowley says 'See you in Hell' and Aziraphale, instead of hesitating or having a crisis over it, defiantly sinks his teeth into the ox ribs again, tearing out another hunk of flesh. There's such a mood of 'Fuck it then, if this damns me I might as well enjoy it.' Fuck yeah, Aziraphale.

[popeyeotaku]

Lately, I've been seeing a bunch of posts on spop twitter joking about how Adora could've just taken Catra to Bright Moon or easily gotten or to join the princesses or whatever. And, like...

No???

A lot of this talk comes off like Catra is just a big lovable brat who is too whiny to switch sides and needs to stop being a dumbass, unlike Adora. But the whole show is about how this isn't the case???

No, actually, Adora does not have her shit together either. Adora is a complete mess, and her character arc is about realizing it's incredibly unhealthy for her to put everyone else's needs before hers and play the big hero. It's simply not a case of Catra needing to become a "good person" like Adora. Adora shouldn't have been in the Horde, but she really shouldn't have been fighting for the rebellion either.

I imagine Catra switching sides early on would be her taking charge of the whole rebellion immediately, like why do you think Light Hope drove Catra away from Adora??? Because LH knew Catra would not blindly trust the ancient occasionally-murderous AI.

I dunno, I think the show was pretty clear about why Catra didn't switch sides in s1 or s2 and then her big spiral in s3/s4? All of which actually happened pretty quickly, and then led to her recovery in s5? But the way folks talk about it you'd think she was just being an asshole for no reason.

I forget where, but ND once talked about how unhealthily codependent Catra and Adora's relationship was in the Horde, and how they both needed time away to figure things out and get better before they could come back to each other.

Sorry this has been so rambly, it was just getting to me this AM. These jokes are really weird and tasteless.

[paigegonerogue]

TLOU s2 first look (in video form) came out, and HOLY FUCK IT’S INCREDIBLE!! But you guys know me… you know how I am… let’s analyze this sucker.

Spoiler for tlou part 2

Other than the amazing dialogue and acting here, this scene thrills me because now we know we get at least a little more time with Joel. Thanks, Craig❤️

I’ve seen people say it could be therapy, which I love, but it’s also possible it could just be a normal conversation. Either way, I can’t wait!

Onto the next shot!

The “the tattoo looks bad!” People are sweating lol This looks AMAZING!! The scarring makeup is so well done! But ALSO did someone say shallow depth of field?? No?? Okay we’ll screw me I guess. Also, IT’S THE MOTH AGHHHHHH

Beutiful recreated shot. The shallow depth of field is gorgeous, and the lights… it’s just beutiful!

First thing’s first…

👏BELLA👏FUCKING👏RAMSEY👏 …holy shit.

It’s possible that the person holding onto Ellie’s shoulder is Maria, since if you turn your brightness up you can kinda see her side-shave hairstyle.

I have two theories for this: 1, this is right after the chemical burn? Or 2, this is after Joel dies? I could be totally wrong, though.

The guy in the background doesn’t look familiar to me, and none of the main cast have beards like that. I think he’s a new character, probably just a small role as a doctor.

ALSO DID SOMEONE SAY SHALLOW DEPTH OF—

This is definitely Jackson. You can see that the gates are the same as Jackson’s from ep 6.

And I’m fairly sure that it’s an infected horde, since none of them seem to have guns or weapons.

FUCK YES. LET’S FUCKING GO.

(No analysis here. Just hype.)

Definetly Seraphites, probably from the iconic forest scene. Looks great, love the lighting here.

First look at Dina!! Woo!!

Ellie has an assault rifle, and I think she might be on some rafters here, judging by the metal and because she’s definitely above ground level.

Gorgeous landscape shot, probably around the Jackson area.

JEFRREY WRIGHT RAHHHHHHHHH I don’t believe there’s a fight in the kitchen with Isaac in tlou part 2 (correct me if I’m wrong, but I definitely don’t think so?). He could be fighting Ellie here, which would probably be triggering for her (bad memories of guys fighting her in kitchens)

Firstly, KAITLYN LOOKS SO GOOD WOOHOO!!! Secondly, awesome recreated shot.

Not 100% sure, but could this be Tommy and Ellie? The first person looks like Tommy, with the longer dark hair and jacket. And the second person has the same color jacket that Ellie was wearing in the first look, and seems smaller than Tommy, which would also line up.

Awesome shot! I bet this is in the tunnels, especially since the shot after you see an infected slam against the doors.

Anyway, those are all my observations for now! This was the best 20 seconds of my day, and I’m so UNBELIEVABLY hyped!!

[diamantdog]

friendly reminder: “the acolyte” watch party - part 1

it’s happening tomorrow (eastern time), and yes, it’s friday the 13th, so we’re going to voodoo disney or whatever lol. please join and keep the conversation going 🙏

[sometipsygnostalgic]

everyone on Reddit being asked what their least favourite She-ra episode is and at least two people commented on the tonal dissonance of Signals being 50% trash and 50% the best episode in the season, it’s great

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i just hate that some writers seem to think that overfilling an antagonist with trauma is a substitution for a redemption arc. instead of writing a good arc where the character learns from their mistakes and works on becoming a better person, they simply put the character through the absolute wringer, so that the fans feel bad for them and forget about their actions.

i’ve mentioned this in a post before but i think this is most evident with catra, and marcy from amphibia.

as a "punishment" for everything that catra did, instead of facing actual consequences or not being forgiven by her victims, she just gets tortured by horde prime. she's chipped, her hair is chopped off without her permission and she almost dies.

and just like that, catra is worthy of forgiveness. she doesn't have to make up for her actions or earn forgiveness from the people she hurt, she just went through mindless, meaningless suffering so people have to forgive her.

similarly, while marcy definitely isn't as bad as catra, the writers also did a similar thing with her. instead of having her realize the consequences of her actions and organically earn sasha and anne's forgiveness, marcy gets stabbed, possessed by the core and also almost dies.

and just in case you're still not pitying her, the writers add in a flashback where anne and sasha were mean to her and ignored her. which makes no sense because while i can see sasha acting that way, anne being mean to marcy seriously came out of nowhere. she was very affectionate towards marcy so far in the series, so it's clear that the creators were trying to make you feel bad for marcy and so they don't have to write a good redemption arc for her. because meaningless filler shit was far more important than actual plot points, right?

(this also reminded me of the way spop victim blamed adora in the last minute to make it look like her conflict with catra was mutual and therefore, she deserved everything that happened to her. i've definitely seen amphibia fans argue that all three of the calamity trio were at fault and while anne is by no means my favorite character, the show was definitely victim blaming her by making her act like a jerk in that flashback.)

and then marcy gets saved, she apologizes and suddenly everything is okay.

sasha was hesitant to forgive marcy in a previous episode, though she was completely on board with staying in amphibia and ruling it alongside grime in the s2 finale. meanwhile, anne has already forgiven marcy because god forbid she has any character apart from being the goofy protagonist.

when are writers gonna learn that there's no alternate to a redemption arc? there's no shortcut, no writing hack that you can use to redeem a character. so either don't redeem the character or do it properly.

[antispopausandstuff]

SPOP and the problem with "you vs. me"

.

you know the drill, this will be very long and may be scattered.

in attempts to show a more completed picture, i will be referencing arcane to compare sibling // familial dynamics and how the respective medias represented them.

.

as adora is our main protagonist and catra was an main antagonist, a lot of the show's focus is on their characters and arcs ( or a lack thereof ). however, because of the blatant favoritism of catra over adora, rather than it being relatively equal or at least addressed in a more healthier way, this results in both the show and fandom diminishing adora's trauma and showcasing catra's.

the "you vs. me" conflict is a standard trope in fiction and is very much a struggle relationships have in real life, due to many issues including, but not excluded to, honesty, deceit, manipulation, accountability issues, anger issues, victimization, villainization, etc.

in fact, in terms of it being a trope, you could say that almost all of fiction relies on this, especially with protagonist vs. antagonist scenarios, such as batman & joker, superman & lex luthor, sonic & eggman, aang & ozai, korra & kuvira, or, in this case, adora & catra.

but when i'm referencing this trope, i'm specifically referring it to be in a familial context, such as zuko & azula, eda & lilith, vi & jinx, and so on and so forth.

now, what makes adora and catra so different from most other relationships that fall under this trope is because of one problem:

inconsistency.

despite the abuse being the center reason why adora and catra are separated and at odds with each other, the show is more focused on the effects of catra's trauma rather than the cause.

she is flippant with shadow weaver, doesn't hold her in very high regard as an authority or maternal figure, and just generally doesn't show any possible affection or positive emotion towards shadow weaver unless it has something to do with proving her wrong until s2, when s1 already establishes a hostile relationship between the two and catra explicitly stating she doesn't need shadow weaver.

now, this isn't to say that the cycle of abuse is a straight line. the writers can have catra show animosity towards shadow weaver and still make a relationship where she ends up being the victim of manipulation and hostility. but how they did it is the issue.

let's compare her story to jinx's.

parental situation - unlike catra, powder did not have a negative relationship with vander. but it wasn't a necessarily positive one, either. it was more awkward, silent, and not really given a chance to grow and develop into something more loving.

i don't doubt vander cared for powder, but it wasn't the exact way he cared for vi. the only thing they had in common was that they loved vi, but even that was in different ways ( parent // sibling ).

meanwhile, catra's relationship with shadow weaver has no actual room for plausible deniability on either end, but more importantly, catra's end.

there's no mother gothel-esc scene where shadow weaver love-bombs and gaslights her, no 'loving' manipulation, there's barely even a power imbalance, it's just animosity on both ends in the establishing season.

all of those scenes are towards adora instead, creating a rapunzel // mother gothel dynamic, like mentioned, as shadow weaver groomed her, used her for power, and raised her to be the perfect child soldier.

akin to mother gothel, after adora left the horde, shadow weaver become hyper-focused on getting her back and returning to the status quo, and both abusers do this by manipulation, sabotage, gaslighting, and instilling fear into their victims.

we don't get this with catra until s2.

the reason why this doesn't work is because:

catra is fully aware of the horde

catra is fully aware of shadow weaver

catra references // insults adora for being manipulated

catra establishing she doesn't need or want shadow weaver

catra broke shadow weaver's mask // source of power

all in s1.

which is why, when you watch s2, you might be wondering "why did she fall for that?" if you recall earlier scenes of basically admonishing adora for being a victim of abuse herself.

"she was desperate!" you say. but just because catra was desperate doesn't mean that she had to change her tune, especially since shadow weaver has literally no power over her.

it'd make a lot more sense for her to make a deal with shadow weaver rather than suddenly questioning shadow weaver on why she abused her, then begging her to help.

maybe, if the writers still wanted to continue with the cycle of abuse, the deal could've been a way for catra to be slowly manipulated and throw her off, anyway. because she was once on equal footing with her abusive mother, but now is beneath her for xyz reasons.

writing wise, it just makes no sense for us to be sympathetic to catra in s2 when it's been shown several times that any chance of a less than hostile relationship is impossible between them because they both hate each other.

origin of villainy - now, from catra's perspective, she blames adora and sometimes shadow weaver for her 'downfall', but simultaneously continues to have her own independence and choice to become evil. this is something the show states bluntly, despite still being wishy-washy in s5. catra chose to stay. catra chose to be evil.

the true origin of her choices lie in wanting to be powerful and ruling over the horde as revenge for who looked down on her ( shadow weaver, mainly ).

in fact, she pretty much says so in this line ( in 'Promise', s1 ):

"i don't WANT to leave. what don't you understand about that? i'm not afraid of shadow weaver anymore, and i'm a better force captain than you could've ever been."

catra desires power over love, but relied on adora to get that power through several years of abuse that continues on in their older teen, young adult lives.

what's the first thing that catra does when adora strays?

she electrocutes her, twice, and threatens to do it again.

she portrays it like it was an accident, but her face right after she shocks adora the first time is pure anger. when the moment passes, there's no apologetic look, she looks more 'awkward, if anything.

then when adora tries to get up, she shocks her again and justifies it by saying it was a "reflex". while i think she's full of shit, i do think this line holds at least some truth, as catra's had a clear pattern of putting adora in physical harm when she gets 'out of line' ever since they were kids.

like catra, powder does believe that her source of villainy ( if she even sees it as that, at first ) is also from vi leaving her. however, powder has more reason to believe she was abandoned than catra does.

why?

choice.

catra had a blatant, clear, on the table choice to join the rebellion and leave the horde, have a healthier, happier life, and stay away from shadow weaver. every time adora asks ( 3 times ), she doesn't push catra once she says no, but accepts it, however disappointed she may be, which is a stark contrast to how catra reacts to rejection.

neither vi or powder had the choice of staying together and running away. vi had a reaction that most people would have when powder accidentally killed basically their whole family, but she showed immense regret and walked away to take a breather.

but, as she wasn't able to communicate that, powder saw that as vi leaving and not coming back.

and then silco came in. vi was going to go back, going to try to save powder, but then marcus got involved, knocked her out, and took her to prison.

basically, fate fucked around with them. it was all just bad timing. neither vi or powder could play with the cards they were dealt with.

catra basically said "no, fuck you" and then turned around and victimized herself over and over, while still trying to maintain her own autonomy at the same time.

developing villainy // spiral - powder turning into jinx is tragic because it all started from an accident. because powder was a child that didn't mean to hurt or kill anyone and was taken advantage of in her time of need. because while suffering from psychosis and abandonment, silco preyed on her ( i'm not going to debate this with you, don't start a fight in the comments ).

catra turning into a horde general is visually displayed as devastating in s4, but it's very weak, writing wise, once you take a look at the full picture for all of its amateurish details.

catra participated in all of this willingly. it's very difficult to sympathize with someone who knows what they're doing and doesn't give a damn about who they're hurting.

catra's already had spirals. s1, s2, and s3. if you take off the rose-colored glasses, this gets exhausting and feels more pathetic than anything else.

catra's worst was in s3, not s4. and it was only about shadow weaver for maybe five minutes until it went back to being about her obsession for adora to be her meat shield. you can't really get any worse than destroying the entire universe, engaging in extreme sadism, and killing a monarch all out of spite for one person.

this was, supposedly, her wake-up call season, but catra doesn't change until s5 and the 'wake-up call' is garbage, telling us that she didn't mean any of the things she did or said, she didn't mean to hurt and abuse people, she didn't mean to send entrapta off to beast island, she didn't mean to threaten scorpia multiple times, yada, yada, yada, while also potentially victim-blaming her, and also saying "well, fuck you, it's all your fault lol". it's sloppy.

she had a mental breakdown because scorpia left her? oh no. how sad.

she starts hallucinating scorpia's laugh and thinks she's coming back? oh wow. tragic.

she starts pushing people away, for the millionth time, and victimizing herself again? aww. who woulda thunk it.

all of it falls under "what did you expect?" when you look through the many holes in SPOP's story.

and yet, despite it all, despite the fact that she committed universal genocide, death of a monarch, aggravated assault // attempted murder, attempted murder // suicide, etc., etc...

she's 'redeemed' by a hallucination in a ship that somehow tells her that she was the one who drove adora away, when she fucking knows that already.

jinx is eventually aware of herself and vi, as much as she can be, and continues the path to villainy because she's already gone too far. vi may forgive her, but she's killed a lot of people and is a criminal. not a petty thief, but a murderer.

the show helps us sympathize with jinx, but they don't erase what her actions, they don't erase her crimes, and still embrace writing her as a villain // antagonist that can't and won't go back.

catra has bare minimum sympathy from me. it's terrible that she was abused, but the show doesn't write it well or consistently enough for me to fully care and go "it's really sad that she's become a bad person", but rather "if you died, i'd be thankful".

that's harsh, maybe, but i don't see any other option, except for her being jailed for life, as a satisfying conclusion for her. because i don't care enough to wish a better life for her in canon.

the "you vs. me" problem in SPOP is that catra is constantly pushing this ideology in almost every single situation, even when it is not applicable, and it forces fans to view it the same, if not worse.

it's not specifically about shadow weaver, but more about what can give catra control in whichever situation that can allow her to victimize herself and // or dominate the other party.

and, as a result, to this day, catra is still seen as the biggest victim of the entire cast.

[sturnsdc]

Carl

pair: Carl Grimes x fem!YN Dixon

synopsis: when things start to go wrong and Sophia ends up lost, the group splits up. However, things don't go as planned, and now Yn must face her memories.

warnings: angst, typical TWD scenes, violence, comfort, fluff, abusive father is mentioned, mentions of religion (yn is not a believer but explains why), dislike towards Andrea, mentioned seizures, fools in love.

era: (S2)

words: 7,3k

A/N: this one shot 's part of a series called "feel special" !!

'm sorry if u see some grammatical mistakes!! ♡♡

dividers from: @cafekitsune ! ♡

YN'S POV

we lost the camp, we lost people. Hell... we even nearly died twice after that. Once because of a human, and once because of a horde that surprised us on the highway. And because of that horde we lost Sophia, and now we're all trying to find her.

i feel nauseous just thinking about the possibilities. In these months i became really close to Sophia, and i know how quickly she panics, i know how much she freezes when things go wrong... and away from her mother? i really wanna think that we'll find her and that she'll be okay, but the odds are not on our side.

we've been looking for her for over a day at this point. We even went to a church when we heard a bell, thinking she would be there, but instead we only found more death.

Daryl, Rick and Shane took out the walkers inside, as there were only three of them. Then we all entered, checking every corner although it was obvious that Sophia wasn't there.

near me was a figure of a crucified Christ, so i approached it, feeling a little insecure about what i was about to do.

i've never really been a believer. I know Daryl tried to believe for a while, but it's hard when life is constantly putting you in shitty situations. I prayed to God every time i received beatings from my old man. I begged him when things at home were going to hell. But none of those times did i feel like something was rescuing me, like something was helping us, so eventually i stopped begging, i stopped waiting for God to help me, and i started standing up for myself.

but now… now i need some of that hope, i need to believe that she'll be okay. I need to believe.

“hey JC” i said “ya takin requests?” i immediately felt stupid, 'what am i doin?' i asked myself, sighing. I soon decided to get away from there, meeting Carl.

“hey,” i greeted him, leaning against a wall outside the church, with Carl standing in front of me.

“hey” he tried to smile, but a grimace came out instead. After that he just sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry, i'm tense, i wanna believe she's fine but…”

“ 's hard, the odds don' tend to be on our side” he nodded “i wanna believe that we're goin' to find her, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we're goin' to find her” i tried to say firmly, and it seemed to work, because this time he did smile a little.

“i'm going in, are you coming with me?” he asked me, but i shook my head.

“nah, 's not my place. I don' like churches” i confessed, noticing the curiosity on his face.

"can i know why?" i was going to answer, but he seemed to get nervous by the way he expressed himself, as his eyes widened and his face turned red “i mean… if you want, you don't have to do it if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable. I didn't want it to sound rude."

“ 's okay, Carl.” i laughed a little. “i always felt that these types of places lend themselves to creatin' false hope, and sometimes attractin' some people who are lookin' fer an excuse to reject others. Don' know. But i understand if ya believe, i mean, it's good sometimes to have hope... it's just that i lost it a while ago."

“i used to go to church with my parents when everything was fine and they didn't fight, but when all this... happened, i felt like praying wasn't enough, i felt like praying wouldn't save me if a walker tried to eat my mom, i felt like praying wouldn't bring my dad back… but well, maybe that last one did happen” i saw him scratch the back of his neck “i wanna go in to try one last time, to give it that chance. I'll be back soon” i nodded, watching him enter as well as Rick.

“you're close to him.” Daryl appeared from the side, cleaning his knife. “Should i be worried?”

“shut up” i smiled, seeing he was leaning against the wall, right next to me, so i took advantage and put my head on his shoulder. We were silent for a moment, enjoying that opportunity to have a little calm before resuming the search.

“ya think we're goin' to find her?” i asked in a lower tone, almost whispering.

"hope so. I'm not goin' to stop looking fer her” he responded, looking directly at his knife, remaining silent for a few seconds “she's just a girl, she shouldn't be out here, alone. I'd die if that were ya, and yeah i know ya know how to defend yerself but… you're still a kid fer me, ya know what i mean?” i nodded, feeling sad about this whole situation.

“she's a good person, Carol too” i said, still in a low tone “they deserve to be in this together, not like this… 's not fuckin' fair” i said.

“i know, i'll try to brin' her back.”

we were silent again, and i know we were both thinking the same thing.

'let's find Sophia'

we're separating, and i don't like that, it scares me.

after church, Rick and Shane wanted to stay and explore a little longer, while we were told to go as planned. But Carl didn't want to leave either, and he offered to go with them.

it scares me to think about his safety. I don't trust Shane one bit, and i really wanna believe that Rick would do anything to protect his son, but he's still not my favorite person to protect others, and even though i trust him more than Shane, i'd rather this wasn't happening.

it doesn't help that Andrea has been giving Lori dirty looks since we left. We all know why she does it. Dale took the gun she was carrying, since apparently he doesn't trust her at all, or some shit like that. It was a hard blow for her, so the fact that Daryl gave Lori a gun without a second thought and as if it weren't important made her angry.

i try to understand her anyway, but she doesn't work with my patience, and i can see on Lori's face that it doesn't make her happy either.

“so this is it?” Carol said suddenly, stopping to sit on a log on the ground. “it's the whole plan?”

“i guess the plan 's to divide us into smaller and smaller groups,” my brother answered, stopping like everyone else to lean against a tree.

“carrying knives and pointed sticks,” Andrea said in an accusatory tone, looking directly at Lori. “i see you have a gun.”

"what? you want it?” she told her sharply, and i turned to look at Daryl for a moment with an almost proud expression on my face. “there, take it.” she held out the gun. “i'm sick of the looks you're giving me.” i almost laughed, watching Andrea open her eyes wide, and reach for the gun as if she couldn't believe what Lori just told her.

“well, most of you,” Lori murmured, sitting next to Carol on the log and turning to look at her. “honey, i can't imagine what you're going through, and i'd do anything to stop it… but you've gotta stop blaming Rick. It is in your face every time you look at him. When Sophia ran, he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second. I don't know if any of us would have gone after her the way he did. Or made the hard decisions that he had to made. Or if any body could have done it any differently” she said, trying to be as respectful as possible while looking at Carol “any body?” she asked, now looking at all of us, but no one spoke “y'all look at him and blame him for not being perfect, if you think you can do this without him, go right ahead!, nobody is stopping you” she snapped, taking out her water bottle and taking a sip.

Andrea silently approached Lori, handing her the gun again. “we should keep moving” was all she said.

and that's what we did, but when i had the chance i approached Lori, smiling at her and shaking my head in approval. She messed up my hair, smiling a little too, but with a tired face.

we continued walking for a few minutes, until a gunshot sound made us all stop. With fear i looked at Daryl, then looked at Lori.

“what the fuck was that?” i tried to walk in the direction of the sound. They're there, i'm sure, but Lori's hand on my arm stopped me from walking any further.

“probably nothing,” Andrea said, returning to the path, making everyone do the same, except Lori and me.

“Lori…” i shook my head.

'something 's wrong'.

“come on, let's keep moving” she said, putting her arm on my shoulders and walking next to me.

however, even though we tried to ignore it, we both kept looking back from time to time, trying to see if anything could tell us what had happened, but there was nothing, just that single gunshot.

Andrea soon noticed this, so she stopped.

“you still worrying about it?” her question made everyone slow down, and i could only stare at her. I was going to answer her, but Lori stepped forward, probably sensing my dislike for the blonde.

“it was a gunshot,” she said in response.

“we all heard it,” Daryl answered, so i narrowed my eyes, giving him a dirty look.

“why one? why just one gunshot?” Lori asked.

“maybe they took down a walker” my brother answered simply.

“don't..." she sighed "Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker, or Shane, they'd do it quietly.”

“shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?” Carol asked this time looking at Daryl.

“there's nothin' we can do about it anyway,” he replied. I snorted, still looking at him. “we can't run on this woods chasing echoes.”

"so what do we do?" i spoke this time.

“same as we've been, beat the bush for Sophia, and work a way back to the highway,” he replied, without looking at me.

“they'll surely find us back in the RV,” Andrea said, looking at me this time. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, but i didn't answer her.

we ended the conversation and most of us walked again, me still being hugged by Lori. However, Carol and Andrea didn't move forward, and it was until we heard them talking that we stopped again and turned to see them.

“i'm sorry for what you're going through, i know how you feel,” Andrea said.

“i guess you do… thank you,” Carol replied, then turned to look at us all. “the thought of her out here by herself… it's the not knowing that's killing me… i just keep hoping and praying that she doesn't end up like Amy” Andrea's expression hardened, clearly affected by the words, and then Carol realized it too and quickly spoke “oh God, that's the worst thing i've ever said.”

“we're all hoping and praying with you... for what is worth it” was what Andrea answered.

“i'll tell you what it's worth,” Daryl interrupted, approaching them. “not a damn thing, it's a waste of time all this hoping and praying. We're just gonna locate that little girl and she's gonna be just fine” he snapped. “am i the only one zen around here? Good lord” he finished saying, turning around to return to the path.

Lori and i turned to see each other, both trying to suppress a smile at my brother's words. He just… sounded so grumpy, even sassy. But we all know he's trying to find her, and that what he said actually makes sense.

now it's been a while since that, and we have searched non-stop for Sophia again, but there is no trace, no clue, she was nowhere to be found, so we suggested stopping for today, since it was starting to darken the sky, which meant the slow arrival of night.

we were going to go back to Dale and T-Dog, who were left on the highway. But it was then that Andrea, who was walking at the side of the group, far away, ran into a walker who was behind a tree. This surprised her, and he quickly tried to attack her. We could only hear her screams, so we ran to try to help her. We saw her, screaming and trying to kick him, but it clearly wasn't enough. However, before he could reach her, a woman on horse appeared, hitting the walker's head with a bat.

“Lori? Lori Grimes?” the stranger asked, looking at Andrea.

it was then that we managed to reach them.

“i'm Lori.”

“Rick sent me, you gotta come now,” the woman told her, agitated.

"what?" Lori asked, incredulous.

“there has been an accident, Carl has been shot. He's still alive, but you gotta come now” the woman said.

‘Carl…’

'it can't be true, he has to be fine'

'was that the shot? was it him all this time?'

'he can't…he can't die, no, not him'

'i have to see him, he has to be okay'

'i trusted he would be safe with them, i trusted they would protect him'

'Carl can't die'

i feel panic overcome me, so much so that i can't even understand what is happening, i can't hear anything. Carl is all i can think about.

'he…he has to be okay'

i snap out of my thoughts when i see Lori riding the horse with the unknown woman. Riding away. But i don't even have the strength to try to say anything about it.

'i wanna go with them, i need to see it'

but it was too late, because they had already left.

i feel Daryl's gaze on me, but i can only look at where they went, and then at the backpack that Lori was carrying. I picked it up, putting it on so i could carry it.

we continue walking in silence, but all i can think about is how to get there.

'i can track them. Maybe i'm not as good as Daryl, but the horse surely left his tracks until he got to the place. That can work'

'it has to work'.

Carol refuses to go to the farm where Carl is, and i can understand her, but that also means that most of them are going to stay too, and now i have to convince my brother to let me go there with Glenn and T-Dog .

'fucking incredible'

'i think it would be easier to escape, but i'll try.'

“the cut on his arm went from bad to worse and now he has a very serious blood infection,” Dale explained to the others.

'didn't they look through our things? i mean, that sucks, but even if they'd just asked us they'd know we have Merle's arsenal with us.'

apparently Daryl thought the same, as we looked at each other with the same confused expression, and he quickly went to our things, pulling out the bag.

“...because if not, T-Dog will die and it's not a joke” Dale finished saying, watching as Daryl went to look for the pills.

“why didn't ya say somethin' before?” i asked, watching Daryl leave the bag on a car, checking the inside to see what they could use.

“X…no, don't need that” i heard him mutter, still searching.

“look for the painkillers” when i said it he found them, throwing them at Glenn “and the doxycycline” this time he threw it at Dale.

“and 's not generic stuff neither, 's first class,” Daryl told them, seeing their confused faces.

“Merle got the clap... on a occasion” i explained, watching as Daryl walked away again until he reached our things “you're welcome” i told them, going after him.

“hey… uhm, i need to talk to ya” i said in a low tone, getting his attention.

"what?" he looked at me.

“i wanna go with Glenn and T-Dog…”

“nah” he interrupted me “you're not goin'.”

“come on, Dar. He's my best friend, i need to be there. I need to see with my own eyes that he's safe” i told him, but he shook his head.

“we don' know wha' kind of crazy people are in tha' place, and i won' leave ya alone in their care.” he said again, firmly.

“please, ya know i can defend myself, ya know i know how to use my knife better than many in this group” i complained.

“i don' care, you're not goin'.”

“Daryl please, you and Carl are the only good thing i have left. I don' wanna lose him too. I need to know that he's safe, tha' they're protectin' him” i confessed “i trusted that he would be safe with 'hem and now he's between life and death. Please, i have to go” the desperation in my voice was noticeable “i'm fuckin' askin' , and ya know that if you don' give me permission i'll find a way to go. But i respect ya and that's why i'm tryin' to ask first.”

i saw him consider the idea. He was silent for a moment, but then he sighed and pulled a knife from Merle's things.

“hidden near the ankle, so that no one sees it. If somethin' happens, if ya lose yer knife, if ya feel like it's not enough. Whatever. Whatever ya feel, ya take it out” he said, handing me the knife. i nodded, secretly putting it as he ordered, covering it with my pants and boots.

“don' trust, don' turn yer back on 'hem…” he started to say.

“i protect my vital points and stay alert, i know” i saw him nod.

“they're goin' to trust, so ya'll have to take care of 'hem, ya know tha', right?” he asked me, to which i nodded this time.

“i know, but i always do that' anyway” i joked, seeing him scoff and smile a little.

we've been in the truck for a while. None of the three speak, and while the two of them are in the front seat, i'm lying on the back seats, with my feet resting on a window and looking at the roof of the vehicle.

“ya think he'll be okay?” i asked suddenly, seeing how they were startled by my voice.

“i thought you were sleeping,” Glenn murmured, a little agitated, but without taking his eyes off the road. “i wanna believe that he is. He's a strong boy.” T-Dog nodded, looking out the window. There was a moment of silence until i spoke again.

“ya trust Rick?” i asked this time, and saw that they both looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes.

"you don't?" Glenn asked me, but when i was about to answer the truck stopped, and our destination was shown in front of us. The mysterious woman's farm.

“answer fer another time, i guess” i muttered and they both nodded. At the same time the three of us got out of the truck, Glenn with his shotgun in hand, T-Dog looking like a dead man, and me with one hand on my knife, ready to pull it out if necessary.

“so... do we... ring the bell? it looks like people live here” Glenn said, looking at the door of the house in front of us with some nervousness.

“we've passed all that kind of stuff, haven't we?” T-Dog said, walking up the front steps with the two of us behind him.

“you close the gate of the road when you drove in?” a voice asked us, scaring the three of us. My eyes widened, but i soon noticed that the voice was coming from a corner in the entrance, it was dark enough that we wouldn't notice anyone was there.

“uh… hi,” Glenn said, looking in the same direction as me. “yes, we closed it, locked it and everything.” it was then that we could see it. It was the mystery woman. “Hi, nice to see you again, we… uh, we met before.” i looked at Glenn when he said that and raised an eyebrow, noticing his nervousness about the girl.

“we came to help,” T-Dog said this time. “is there anything we can do?” he then whimpered in pain, at the same time that the woman began to approach us “it's not a bite” he explained when he noticed the look on his injured arm “i uh, i cut myself pretty bad.”

“we have a doc inside, i'll tell him you're here” she told him in response.

“we have uh... some painkillers and antibiotics,” Glenn informed, showing them to her “i already gave him some. But in case Carl needs…”

“come on inside, i'll make you something to eat.” she opened the door for us, letting us enter her house.

“can we see Carl?” i asked as we entered, catching the three's attention.

“yes, of course, but try not to make too much noise. We're waiting for them to arrive with all the stuff so we can remove the bullet parts that remain inside and control the internal bleeding. We don’t need him to wake up if not on his own, okay?” she answered me calmly, and i nodded quickly.

she led us to the room, and when we entered i had to cover my mouth as a sob almost escaped me. So Glenn put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. When i looked at him he smiled slightly, and then decided to speak towards the adults inside the room.

“hi” he said in a low tone, but drawing their attention. When Lori looked at me i could see that her eyes were filled with tears and she stood up quickly, but trying not to make a sound. We both approached and gave each other a big hug, letting our emotions flow at that moment.

i didn't even know i needed it, but when she hugged me i couldn't help it and let the tears come. Gosh, i didn't even cry like this when Sophia got lost, or when we almost died the previous times, but seeing Carl like this... i feel like it was the last straw.

by the time we separated, Lori made me sit in the chair she was in before, putting one hand on my shoulder and the other on Rick's shoulder, standing behind us. Glenn and T-Dog let them know that they're here if they need anything and then left with the woman.

an older man with white hair was sitting on the same bed where they had Carl, and it was then that he lowered the sheet that covered him, revealing the bloody bandage on the wound and his swollen abdomen, almost purple from the bleeding that the woman mentioned.

“if they don't get back soon, we're gonna have a decision to make” the man spoke.

“and that is?” Rick asked him in a low tone.

“whether we operate the boy without the respirator”

“you said that wouldn't work,” Lori interrupted.

“i know, it's extremely unlikely, but we can't wait much longer.” the man's words made Lori and Rick leave the room for a moment, but i decided to stay there, giving them their space to talk about this.

there was a moment of silence, in which i could only look at him. He's so pale, but his face looks so calm right now. I wish he looked this calm all the time, but i'm also not happy about why he looks like that.

“he's your friend?” the man asked me, looking at me this time. I nodded, quickly wiping away my tears as i was with one of them. “My name is Hershel, and the one you just met is my daughter Maggie.” he introduced himself.

“ 'm Yn, Yn Dixon.” i introduced myself in the same way, and he nodded silently.

“you two knew each other before all... this?”

“nah, we met at a camp tha' we initially formed a couple of months ago, but he was one of the few kids who talked to me and he became my bes' friend.” my voice shook at the end, so i decided not to talk anymore, and he seemed to understand it.

i don't know how much time has passed, but i couldn't stop looking at Carl. Neither Rick nor Lori have returned, so it's just Hershel and i staring at him.

i don't even care anymore about how weird it is to watch someone sleep. It terrifies me to think that if i stop doing it... somehow he'll disappear, he'll go away.

for a moment i thought i was hallucinating, but i soon realized that i wasn't. From one second to the next Carl opened his eyes and started coughing, trying to look everywhere.

“Carl,” i whispered, opening my eyes wide and approaching his bed. At that moment Rick and Lori entered quickly, approaching in the same way.

"where we are?" he asked us, clearly scared as he didn't recognize the room.

“hey, little man,” Rick said, in such a delicate tone that i didn't even know he could do “this is Hershel.” he looked at the man, who was also near the bed. “we're in his house.”

Lori looked at me, smiling, and i looked at her the same way, excited.

“you had an accident,” Rick explained.

“it hurts... a lot,” he complained, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

“i know, baby, i know” Lori caressed his arm, trying to comfort him.

it was then that he looked at me, and smiled a little. “you should have seen it,” he said.

“what, Carl?” i asked him, with the softest and calmest voice i can make.

“a deer, it was so pretty” he smiled a little more, with difficulty “It was so close, i've never been…” then he stopped talking, and seemed to fall into a kind of trance. My smile, which i hadn't even noticed, soon faded and i looked at Lori. She had the same anguished face.

his body suddenly began to convulse, so Hershel turned him on his side. I quickly hugged Lori, scared, and felt Rick hug us both.

“if you hold him down you could hurt him” he explained to us “he has to just go through this”

i sobbed as i saw the way his body moved so violently. His eyes seemed empty, so different from just now. When he spoke about the deer his eyes shone, he seemed full of life. But as his body shook, i caught a glimpse of him, and his eyes were dark, distant, as if it weren't him.

i want to stop it, i want this to end. Even the bed makes a loud noise from the sudden movements, but no one can do anything to stop it. We can only hope he survives this.

'please please'

i hid my face in Lori's body, unable to continue watching the scene. When he stopped, we all walked over to see his unconscious body, now with his eyes closed. With fear i watched as Hershel opened his eyes to check him out.

“his brain isn't getting enough blood, the pressure has dropped and he needs another transfusion.”

'shit, Daryl 's the one with the universal blood'

Rick offered to give him more blood, even though Hershel warned him what could happen to him if he did. So now, as he did so, he told us about the deer Carl had mentioned.

'he's...so pure, i really hope i can keep that about him if he survives.'

'he's going to survive,' i corrected myself, squeezing my eyes briefly as they burned from how much i had been crying since i arrived.

after that, the four of us spent a while in silence, just looking at Carl.

the moments that we managed to live in the midst of all this pass through my head. Like when Carl would come into my tent and tell me about his comics to help me sleep. Or when we walked through the forest while no one noticed, climbing some trees and talking about everything when we got tired of walking.

i even remembered the constellations, because on nights when comics didn't help me, he would open the tent a little so we could see the stars, and he would teach me everything he knew about them.

i also remembered the flowers, because he listened to me carefully when i told him the meaning of each flower, and the story that was told for each one. And then when he saw flowers somewhere, he would pick up the ones that he now knew well thanks to me, and he would bring them to me in his hands, smiling because he knew that i would like them, and that i would understand the silent message he was giving me with them.

Hershel's voice brought me out of my thoughts, only to bring me back to reality.

“he keeps losing blood faster than we can replace it, and with this swelling in his abdomen we can't wait any longer, or we're going to lose him,” he informed us, making the three of us tense. “i need to know right now if you want me to do this, because i think your boy is out of time” we all stayed silent, Rick and Lori were now standing, looking at Hershel, but i was still sitting, looking at Carl. “You have to make a choice”

"a choice?" Lori asked with an aggressive tone.

“a choice,” Rick responded, and this time i did look at them. Rick looked at Lori intently. “you have to tell me what it is.”

she caressed his cheek, and although she seemed doubtful, she responded firmly, “we do it.”

so we quickly helped Hershel and his family lift Carl onto a makeshift stretcher. The man looked at us before touching him, and told us that it was best for us to get out of there. Before we answered, however, we heard the sound of a truck, and when Rick looked out the window to look, he seemed suddenly relieved.

we all ran to the entrance, except for a woman named Patricia, who Lori told me a while ago, is the wife of the man who shot Carl, Otis. Shane, who had gone with the man to get things for Carl's surgery, got out of the truck. He seemed injured, agitated, and quickly handed the things to Hershel.

he briefly told us that Otis had sacrificed himself so that he could get to the farm and bring the things to save Carl. I honestly don't believe a word that comes out of Shane, but right now that's not a priority for me, so i just walked into the house, sitting near the room in the hope that this will end soon.

the surgery had been successful, but Carl was still unconscious, having a few moments of lucidity before closing his eyes again. That's why the next day Lori recommended that i go out a little, get some air and try to change my mood, since i didn't sleep all night, and i stayed next to Carl, afraid that something could happen to him again.

it was hard for me to leave the room, and when i did some people turned to look at me, giving me small smiles that i couldn't return. When i left the house i walked around the place. I heard that Glenn and Maggie were out, and that my brother was looking for Sophia, but i don't know if they're back, i just know that Andrea, Shane, and Carol are back, so i decided to walk to the RV.

inside i found a very different image from the previous days. Carol cleaned and organized the interior, making it look much more decent and nice.

“looks nice,” i said, seeing her sitting in the back.

“thank you… i wanted to clean it for her” she answered, smiling a little.

“ 'm sure she'll think 's cool when she gets back.” i leaned against a wall.

we were silent for a few seconds, until Carol sighed and changed her expression to a more worried one.

“how's Carl?” she asked me and i quickly tensed up.

“out of danger, Hershel even says that his fever went down, but he has few conscious moments, and tha' makes me a little desperate” i confessed, sighing afterwards “Lori convinced me to go out today. I haven't even slept. I can't, 'm terrified to think about what might happen if i get distracted, and even though i try to spend time out here, all i can think about is the probabilities.” she nodded, understanding.

“why don't you make him a card? like the ones people used to do before this” she suggested “you can keep thinking about him, but without necessarily being in that room, and it's a nice gift.”

's a good idea'

wait.

'i don' know how to write somethin to him'

i started cursing myself for giving up on classes. If i hadn't been so stupid maybe i could have written him a thousand cards.

i noticed that i hadn't responded to Carol yet, so i nodded, hoping it wouldn't show the way my mood went to shit from one second to the next.

“thanks Carol, i think i'll do tha' ” i said, but when i was about to turn around to leave, i saw that on the side there was a beer bottle with a cherokee rose on it. I knew immediately that Daryl had brought it, “i guess he told ya the story” i touched the flower for a moment as i heard Carol say yes “it probably bloomed because of her” i said in a low tone, but i know she heard me “i'll go to the house"

and that's what i did, going to look for my backpack to take out some blank papers and a pencil that almost had no ink. Then i sat in the dining room, with the pencil in my hand.

'what should i write?'

'how do i write “i hope ya get well soon, Carl, love ya”?'

'is that even what i should write, or should it be something longer?'

'what if he expects something more elaborate?'

'what if he doesn't understand what i write?'

i tried to write the phrase that occurred to me, resulting in an ugly text, with unintelligible letters that is supposed to say “i hope ya recover soon, Carl, love ya” but instead it says “i jope ya recover sun, Carl, lov ya”.

's that how you spell recover? or soon? s this how you spell his name?'

a fairly common feeling for me began to appear, making me feel uncomfortable. It was frustration, like every time i try to do this.

'm sick of this shit, why is it so fucking complicated?'

i crumpled the paper in my hands, setting it aside. So i took another one and tried again. This time i tried adding a heart at the end, but it looks like a fucking balloon instead.

i took out another sheet and tried again, but i feel like every time i try it comes out worse and worse.

'm useless, why 's this so fuckin' hard?'

'everyone can do it, why can't i?'

'this 's horrible, it looks like shit'

feelings of worthlessness, frustration, guilt, anger, and sadness began to quickly fill my heart and mind.

"you're stupid! ya don't even know how to do the minimum! this way ya will end up being a whore just like yer damn mother!” i remembered my father's screams. I remember how he shook me, taking advantage of the fact that Daryl wasn't at home and Merle was... just lost. Dad wasn't supposed to be here either, but he returned much earlier than expected, and found a note from school warning of my lack of skills and my bad behavior: “ 'm not raising ya so that ya end up being jus' another prostitute! ya should be grateful to have shelter, food and education!” every sentence was now accompanied by a slap. Tears came out of my eyes without me being able to stop them, and in my head i prayed that Daryl would arrive at some point.

but that wasn't happening, and apparently my mouth started working faster than my brain. “raising me!? all ya do is fuckin' complain and hit us! hell, even Merle has been more of a man and more of a father than ya!” i remember that when i realized what i said my eyes opened wide and i gasped, bringing my hand directly to my mouth.

after that i remember the beating, and Daryl's panicked face when he came home and found me lying on the kitchen floor, blood coming out of my mouth and my body covered in deep wounds and new bruises.

all because i'm useless.

then a noise brought me out of my memories, Rick was sitting in a chair, near me.

"what are you doing?" he asked me in an almost sweet tone, looking at the crumpled sheets on one side of the table and the still blank sheets on the other side.

“i… i was tryin' to write a card to Carl” i said, feeling a little exposed and embarrassed “Carol suggested it” i tried to explain, but i felt my face turn red as Rick started to smile.

“i think he'll like that, a lot,” he said, but i just grimaced, looking at the crumpled sheets.

“i don' think so,” i whispered.

"why not?" he frowned.

“i can'… i can' write somethin' to him because i don'…” i cleared my throat, feeling too exposed with my confession, however, he seemed to understand, and instead of looking at me with contempt or strangeness, he smiled again.

“i can help you if you want. It's never too late to learn, not even in the midst of all this” he offered, and i looked at him with doubt.

'does he really mean it?'

i think my look was pretty obvious, because he let out a small laugh, moving his chair closer.

“i swear, i can help you with that if you want,” he told me firmly, and for a moment, even if it was brief, i felt that hope grow in me again.

“ 'm not an easy student, Rick,” i warned him, but the smile on his face didn't fade.

“i didn't expect you to be, little Dixon.”

it was long hours of practicing and practicing with Rick.

Daryl entered the house, looking for me after not finding me anywhere else. When he found me he opened his eyes wide, and i can swear that for a moment i saw something sparkle in them.

"what are ya...?" he asked, clearing his throat when he noticed that his voice sounded somewhat…excited.

i can't judge him, since we both know the problems that not knowing how to read or write brought me. We both know about the beatings, the teasing, the insults and even the nightmares.

“Rick helped me make Carl a card, look!” in days i didn't smile the way i do now.

one sheet, now folded in half, was filled with small drawings on the cover, and on the inside, in a much less horrible and now understandable handwriting, it said: “Hope ya get well soon, Carl! love ya so much, and i miss hanging out with ya. - Yn” with more drawings around it.

with so much practice my pencil had worn out, so Rick lent me some of Carl's pencils that were in Lori's backpack. Now the card has color, and it looks much prettier than i had imagined.

my eyes shine and a huge smile decorates my face. Daryl smiled when he saw the card, and hugged me tightly when he saw how happy i am.

“thank you” he said to Rick, still hugging me.

“no problem” i heard him say “i'll go throw away the papers we used and then i'll go see Carl. Good night” he said.

“thank ya Rick, really.” i looked at him from Daryl's arms and he just nodded, smiling and then doing what he told us.

Daryl and i continued hugging for a few minutes, both with mixed emotions, but the most predominant one being joy.

“ 'm proud of ya, girl,” he said suddenly, and those words seemed to heal a part of me. “i know 's been hard, and it took a while fer ya to do this, but ya did, and i knew ya would.” i feel his voice tremble. I know he wants to cry just like i do, so i hug him tighter.

“thank you, Dar” i whispered, holding back tears for a moment “thank you fer not giving up on me… like him” then i sobbed, feeling his body shake, a sign that he was crying too, even if just a little.

a few days later, Carl 's now more stable, and can spend hours conscious, so i feel it's time to give him the card.

“hey,” i greeted him, seeing him sitting on the bed reading a comic.

he quickly looks at me when he hears my voice, putting aside what he was reading and moving to the side to make a space for me on the bed so i could sit, and that's what i did, leaning on the backrest next to him.

“hey” he greeted me this time, smiling “i was starting to miss you here” he joked, to which i smiled, gently hitting his arm.

"i brought ya somethin' " i saw the curiosity on his face, so i took the letter out of my jacket pocket and cleared my throat, blushing at his intense gaze. "while ya were unconscious i received some help and i uhm... made ya a card." i extended it to him, and he grabbed it, still looking at me carefully.

“thank you,” he said, and then he looked at it. His eyes shine, and he doesn't stop smiling, even when he opens it and sees what i had written. In fact his face seemed to light up even more, and soon he's hugging me, being careful not to crumple my gift. “i love it, i'll always have it with me, i swear.” he said, to which i smiled, feeling relieved to know that he liked it.

“ 'm glad ya liked it” because of the movement, the hat that his dad had recently given him fell off, so i picked it up and put it back on his head.

“i loved it” he corrected me “you always do beautiful things for me, you make me feel special, you know?” he confessed, and his cheeks turned a little red.

“ya make me feel special too, Carl,” i said, looking him in the eyes. “you're special to me, and i felt like i was dyin' when ya were here, unconscious. I thought i was goin' to lose ya too and it was… it was so scary. It was a nightmare"

“but here i am now, and i'm fine,” he assured me, taking one of my hands and intertwining our fingers. “i'm fine, and with you i feel better”

behind the door, three adults were about to come in to look for us, but after hearing part of the conversation they decided to give us a few minutes.

now, no one will take the small smiles off the faces of Lori, Rick and Daryl, who go to the dining room to sit and wait.