#hoping through the power of these two lesbians that people see this and reblog it cuz thatd be great actually

[erifin-alt]

So a while back I made this pose base, and I decided to put it up on my Ko-fi shop! It's only $2 minimum, and I'd really appreciate the support if you'd like to buy!

[likehephaestionwhodied]

Can you pretty please make a history of leather lesbians post? Your reblog about lesther daddies made me cry because it was so full of love and respect.

I'm gonna start with the bad news, which is no I can't. That post and the specifics of that post come from 1. being a leatherman and 2. months of intense research prepping to write my master's thesis. And so that is full of academic history. And I'm not knocking non-academic history; I rely on non-academic community history for my thesis; almost entirely, there is very little academic history on the community. But that's the thing, it's community history and I've never been a member of that community.

This is not good or bad news, but because of the nature of some leather spaces, particularly the ones I write about in my thesis, there is very little if any, cross-over of gay men and lesbian leather. THIS DOES NOT MEAN IT DOES NOT HAPPEN but this is why I know very little.

During the 70s there was an anti-sex push that affected gay leathermen and leather lesbians differently. Leather lesbians were in the trenches fighting for their right to also be feminists because there was a huge feminist movement that all sex is bad, particularly sex that looks like or is heterosexual sex and leather/SM is abuse etc. etc. Which is a dynamic that is different from what leathermen are looking at which is more "we should try to be like heterosexuals and stop having so much weird sex"

The good news is I do have some things you could read if you want to get a rudimentary grasp of lesbian leather history.

Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice edited by Mark Thompson. This is a collection of essays by leatherfolk, by virtue of the editor being a gay leatherman there's an over-representation of gay men in this collection but there are essays by lesbians. Gayle Rubin [who we're gonna talk more about later] writes about a fisting club for gay men but she talks about when Lesbians and women in general were included. But there are other essays by lesbians about lesbians.

Coming to Power: Writings and Graphics on Lesbian S/M Edited by members of SAMOIS a lesbian/feminst S/M Organization. This is going to be probably the most helpful to anyone looking for a historical grounding in Lesbian leather. It's not a text on the history of leather rather, it's a primary source, these are leather lesbians talking about their experence. The unfortunate thing is, and you'll run into this a lot with niche community groups, it's hard to get your hands on. You're looking at 150-200 dollars if you want to buy the third edition. But I found it on accident in my university's library, so you might be able to find it in your local academic library (I am in the middle of Nebraska so there's a little bit of hope for you, too where ever you are.) OR you might be able to get it through interlibrary loan, there might also be like PDF copies floating around.

There are two people I'll point you towards as being the two people I know that have written on this subject.

Patrick Califia: Patrick is a trans man who, in the late 70s and early 80s prior to identifying as a trans man, was a big name in the San Francisco lesbian leather community. He is featured three times in Coming to Power and has an essay in Leatherfolk he is referenced in a lot of the gay male press as being the lesbian point of contact, also an erotica writer. So his early stuff might be helpful.

Gayle Rubin: If you are want to read heavy academia about queers in general, Rubin is who you should start with. She essentially invents Queer Theory with her article "Thinking Sex." the most pertinent article for my answer to you is "The Leather Menace" The title itself is a derivative of "lavender menace," and it plays with this theme that you see over and over and over again across the queer leather community of being a marginalized community inside an already marginalized community.

Rubin also wrote one of the best academic pieces on the gay male leather community The Valley of the Kings, it was never published and exists in only two places, Ann Arbor at the University of Michigan and Chicago at the Leather Archives and Museum. I have not gotten to read it in full. Someday I'll grow the balls to email her and ask her if there's an easier way to read it.

If you read these anthologies, goggle these women, google the organizations they mention. I know absolutely nothing about Dykes on Bikes but surely someone's written some kind of history about them.

If you have the chance go to The Leather Archives and Museum, there's a heavy emphasis on gay leathermen, but it is a community archive for all the leather community.

The thing about digging for the history of this community is there is no published "here is the history of the leather community" you have to read this person's memoir and the clippings you could find of this or that publication and someone's history of this that or some other organization.

I'm sure if some 50-year-old Leather Dyke comes across this, it'll be met with, "Okay, kid you have no idea what you're talking about." and to her and everyone else, I'd say, "yeah, no, I don't have a clue." this is just where I would start if I wanted to dig into this topic.

[stackthedeck]

I posted 11,881 times in 2022

381 posts created (3%)

11,500 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@evilwickedme

@bi-dubmass11

@king-b0mbastic

@elytrians

@dingdongyouarewrong

I tagged 1,995 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 268 posts

#marvel - 71 posts

#matt murdock - 41 posts

#daredevil - 40 posts

#peter parker - 36 posts

#my fanfic - 32 posts

#spiderman - 31 posts

#fanfic - 30 posts

#marveledit - 21 posts

#not to be a lesbian but oh my god - 17 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I made a survey about fanfiction bookmarking habits with the goal of finding out how people save and share fanfiction. I had 107 responses and 9 questions, two of which were completely qualitative, but 7 were quantitative with an option for qualitative responses. This was a rough initial survey and they're biased towards tumblr and tiktok users because those are the platforms I put them out on. This data should not be applied to the whole fan community, but they're interesting nonetheless

I promised y'all graphs so I'm going to throw them under the read more because oh boy

Analysis of the data but I encourage you to look at the results and draw your own conclusions: Fans tend to have some method of saving fanfics that they really enjoy. The bookmark feature on ao3 is the most used but it tends to be a passive action similar to pushing kudos rather than commenting or is used only for fics that are really special. If ao3 bookmarks aren't the primary means of saving a fic, downloading or bookmarking the tab tends to be the most common. Fans seem to be more open to talking about reading fanfic both online and with irl friends although this is still some level of secrecy around it. It seems social media has an impact on what fics get read

See the full post

151 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#4

My reads on the superbats dynamics

Superman/Batman: coworkers at best, each other’s nightmare scenario at worst

Superman/Bruce Wayne: is the most powerful man on earth…the trophy husband of some weird goth billionaire??

Clark Kent/Batman: Clark “Pulitzer prize winning investigative journalist” Kent and Bat “world’s greatest detective” man are the absolute dream team these two kick ass

Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne: country boy/goth you know what I’m talking about

160 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#3

Hello! I have come asking if you can do a fic rec for superbat pls? Idk I you do this on tumblr or only on tiktak but either way love your content wishing you a good day! 💖

I AM SO SORRY this has been sitting in my askbox for ages anon I hope you see this!! Like I adore superbat but I was really into them during my phase of not bookmarking anything so I had to dig through my history lmao

Exclusive by rotasha- one of my favorite superbats fics, the slowburn, the mystery around the identity, the angst about keeping secrets, Bruce struggling with being a parent for the first time, Clark bounding with Dick, UGH I LOVE IT

Interview with a Batman by Mithen- God I love Journalist Clark Kent and Batman being soft bro they make out in the batmobile it's so good!!

A Sense of Identity by DaaroMoltor- they start dating before either of them reveals their identity god the angst is off the charts!! And oh my gosh they're both written so well with all their different facets of identity

That Which We Call a Rose by arysteia- I love the way it jumps through time and explores the dynamics of a love square with two people and all the ways their lives intersect

Man of Steel, Man of Heart by capsicleonyourleft- there's so much to love in this fic but I want to give a shout-out to the fight scenes because yes that is exactly how batman is supposed to fight and I want to drill it into the heads of anyone that makes a batman movie and BRUCE HAS A COMPETENCY KINK

Stuck in the Middle (With You) by TheResurrectionist- batfam shenanigans and Clark is there to witness his stepkids (anything with the tag Tim v Damian: Dawn of beating the shit out of each other is excellent lmao)

275 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

#2

Marvel made Matt Murdock a whore because any person in the 80s/90s would see a guy dressed in a bright red bodysuit specifically made to look like the devil because said guy has a complicated relationship with religion and by his nature he feels that he’s already damned and the guy has an absent mother, a dead dad, and was mentored by an emotionally unavailable older man and be like yeah that’s a homosexual

395 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Goncharov posting brings a completely different new interesting angle to your what is fanfiction question. If we agree that fanfic has to be based or inspired by a different media, then what is goncharov fanfiction? Does the media have to exist for it to have a transformative Fandom?

aaaah anon I love you so much thank you so much for bringing this to me!! Okay, so my definition of fanfiction is fiction written by self-professed fans in a fandom specific context. So I'm a fan of Spider-Man, I write fiction about Spider-Man to post on ao3 for other fans to read. If marvel hired me to write a Spider-Man comic, I'm still a fan who is writing fiction, but I'm no longer doing it in the context of fandom.

So with that definition in mind, we need to categorize what the fuck Goncharov is. So in my mind, Goncharov is a meme, but it is also the practice of collective storytelling, really no different functionally than Arthurian folklore or any mythology that's been taken out of its original context. We all looked at a pair of boots and said let's write a story together, that's not that different than looking at a mountain and connecting it to the legitimacy of English kings. Goncharov is myth/folklore just very recent and on the internet.

So there is fanfic of Goncharov on ao3. If someone calls their own work fanfic, then it is fanfic. People are not writing these fanfics to add to the folklore, they're not claiming that what they're writing down is canon, rather they're claiming to be building off the canon (that doesn't exist in the sense of the movie, but does exist in the sense that we've all agreed on some sense of truth to it). But because the transformation of the fiction is happening at the same time as the fiction is being defined, the transformation is influencing the collective telling. What is the truth of this story we've all agreed on and what is the fan interpretation in the form of fiction?

In the sense that fandom culture is baked into the creation of this collective myth, all of Goncharov is fanfiction. But because we all have equal creative power over the truth of the fiction, none of Goncharov is fanfiction. Both things are true at the same time. Schrodinger's fanfic if you will.

404 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[garalina2000]

I posted 10,803 times in 2022

That's 9,238 more posts than 2021!

95 posts created (1%)

10,708 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@alwek

@thepsychedelicpsychotic

@goldenspirits

@shortgremlinman

@loverbear-butch

I tagged 779 of my posts in 2022

#feminism - 130 posts

#not safe for elsa - 60 posts

#lesbian - 35 posts

#pistachio - 23 posts

#iran - 22 posts

#lesbian positivity - 13 posts

#butch positivity - 10 posts

#unreality - 9 posts

#religion tw - 8 posts

#abuse tw - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it's always up to the individual but remember not everyone has your best interests online and you're handing them some pretty powerful info

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ahhh. Our interview is in 4 hours and we're so nervous we might implode?

9 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#4

Idk if the meme makes sense but PLEASE STOP FEEDING THE BODY'S ENERGY DRINK ADDICTION AT 10PM, JORDAN. WE'RE STILL SLEEPY BUT OUR HEART IS SO FUCKING FAST

*I'd like to note that right in the middle of making this I was told that Jordan and Claire both forgot the other drank an energy drink, so I'm not blaming either of them as hard, but still. Please. I'm begging y'all. Stop doing this to us. Also the last was drank at least four hours after the first, so they weren't like... back to back. But still. Here's to hoping 200mg of trazadone and 30mg of propranolol can cut through 700 or so mg of caffeine.

12 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#3

Hey, just to broadcast our official system opinion on syscourse (we're all kind of divided on the issue, but this is the consensus we have come to) :

We'd rather not have endogenic blogs following us. I don't think we've seen any good evidence supporting systems being formed by things other than trauma (if anyone has evidence, feel free to share! I love learning new information, thinking critically and changing my mind), but even if endogenic systems could be proven to be real systems beyond a shadow of a doubt, we still wouldn't want endo interaction due to how much our trauma impacts every facet of our existence as a system, and how we would therefore rather have a community solely of people who are working on healing themselves and coping with an extreme form of PTSD than share those spaces with people who claim to be born with a fractured consciousness or willed one into existence. Those are just two groups who have different needs from their communities.

As for OSDDID supporters of endogenic systems, all opinions are welcome here, even ones we disagree with. If you take issue with any of what I posted, feel free to hop into our inbox and let us know*! I'm always open to friendly debate. Please be civil. No calling anti-endogenics t*****scum or s**med. The same goes in reverse, though, too! Anti friends, let's not treat pro-endo systems badly. If we see anyone not being civil, we will delete your comment/ask.

* - this also goes for anti-endos! If you took issue with anything I posted above, don't be shy! Please hop in our inbox and inform us!!

Xoxo,

Sophie and Elaine

13 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#2

Anyway, I really don't get why y'all don't just block most of these vocal, hateful pro-endos (QA, Sophie, etc). Like, you're welcome to do what you'd like, it's your own online experience, after all, but they aren't listening to our arguments, aren't reading our sources, so why waste your energy talking in circles with these people?

14 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I noticed like... Right after we pressed 'send'

24 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cloudmancy]

you guys sent in SO MANY asks and I physically cannot respond to all of them so I’ll post (most) of them at once. I am like a little messaging service an anonymous ruehob confessions blog of a sort... you are welcome... discussion goes in the reblogs/comments

[ID: anon ask reading “ruehob isnt really a like concept of acutal partners to me its just an exploration of regency tropes and dynamics... like i dont understand making like fluff post-canon stuff for them because it feels like the relationship is intentionally pretty shallow because its more about the narrative tension than either of them as Real People in a Real Relationship. theyre here to check the boxes of a dramatic regency romance and that is very fun like i love it but its also not really ABOUT if theyre gonna have a good life after the show”]

[ID: anon ask reading “personally i like ruehob but its true its literally because people hate women and wuvvy deserves so so so much better... i was kinda sad that aabria didn't address wuvvy's side in the AP and just made it out to be like a "ooh fun and drama" thing but maybe it's bc she didn't want to dive deep into it yet and i REALLY hope wuvvy will like. get to make a statement to rue or smth because she deserves FAR better at this point. i know the wuvvy neglect from rue's side might be because the player's have way too many interactions to go through but LORD!!!!!!! its not even supporting womens wrongs at this point bc like wuvvy DESERVES to do at least that much if she's been treated like this :| anyway people will stay hating women and prioritising ~ romance ~ over all else its maddening to see”]

[ID: anon ask reading “could be my years of reading fanfiction but the miscommunication trope are the reason that ruehob are acting like middle schoolers with a crush who they have only talked to twice and saying "they love them" is why they feel like an unfulfilling ship”]

[ID: anon ask reading “not to join the crowd but thank you for putting words to my inarticulate dissatisfaction w ruehob 😭😭 it felt very sudden and maneuvered into place and narratively dissatisfying, like they were trying to hit tropes rather than craft a satisfying romance into the story. there was no buildup!! there was one scene that led to contrived drama for several episodes and now they love each other. it could have been a really fun narrative about an infatuation between two powerful fey and the hearts they trample on in the process, but it's not being framed like that (or, y'know, they could've given their characters a history together). you're right about wuvvy/binx though, i'm a simple lesbian ready to get deeply invested in this”]

[ID: anon ask reading “i gotta thank you homie, after scrolling through your blog it's helped me put my finger on why i'm not as about ruehobb as everyone else seems to be and also that wuvvy can destroy folks, as a treat tbh”]

[ID: anon ask reading “insane take maybe but the ruehob of it all isn't about the long-term relationship- it's about the experience of one person making you reconsider everything. rue and hob do fall fast and hard and their relationship is a catalyst for self-growth more than it is sustainable, which I kind of like tbh and find relevant to at least my queer experience. we don't know what hob (and rue to an extent) would actually be Like because he doesn't know that, because he's never given himself the chance. wuvvy is stable and confident in her identity in a way that rue and hob aren't, and so their dumpster fire mess of longing and repression looks insane and unappealing to her, but I do think it's compelling to watch from our perspective. the issue comes in when every fan acts like they are soulmates who are going to be together 4ever and it's like. we don't know! these people haven't been themselves ever, really, we don't know! I think in AP7 brennan said that he intentionally put a seed of growth in hob that he needed to confront his relationship with his court and duty, etc, and rue just happened to slot perfectly in. it's not about it being rue specifically, it's about the self-discovery of realizing you can be loved, that there is something deeper than orders, as he says. same goes for rue: it's not about the specifics of hob, it's about wanting something and Not putting cordiality and safety and appearances first”]

[ID: anon ask reading “remember when hob was like rue doesn’t actually love me i was just there at a good time. i was sitting here thinking man…i WISH, that’d be way more interesting. anyway to each their own but ruewuvvy rights”]

[darksides-dutchess]

And now the sides as thing my friends and I have said

Virgil:*sends a long and felt message on how he cares about his friends*

Janus: Are you being held at gunpoint?

--------------------------------------

Everyone: *baking a cake*

Remus: Let's write dilf on the cake.

Virgil: WHY?!?!

Remus: cause Patton said to write something you like on your cake.

--------------------------------------

Logan: I have never felt more joy since I was in high school and the teacher said that my work was the best among everyone and that was the confidence boost I needed to realise I am the baddest bitch ever.

---------------------------------------

Remus: I want a spicy chicken sandwich actually two with no fries and plain water.

Janus: I will strangle you

---------------------------------------

Patton: From now on I will now be known as the Frog King bow down to your new ruler and hold fear in your hearts about the power I withhold.

Everyone: ALL HAIL THE FROG KING!!!

---------------------------------------

Virgil: WHO THE FUCK MADE ME A FLOWER CROWN IM ALLERGIC TO POLLEN.

Janus: I did.

Virgil: Of course you fucking would.

----------------------------------------

Roman: *watching a movie* what is this platonic or romantic? I genuinely can't tell the difference.

Remus: Honestly who cares. We can't let some guy for old England tell us the difference.

-----------------------------------------

Janus: All in saying is that we should at least fuck our friends once just to understand the feel of it.

Logan: I'm not having sex with you.

Janus: >:(

------------------------------------------

Roman: if there is one thing you need to know about me is that I am a sad queer kid that romanticises everything in his life but has never been held in the arms of anyone who genuinely loves me.

------------------------------------------

Patton: Is it just me or does the Khan Academy guy actually sounds kinda hot?

Remus: FINALLY SOMEONE FUCKING SAID IT. IM NOT ALONE ANYMORE!!

-------------------------------------------

Virgil: WOULD YOU STOP PLAYING NOBODY BY MITSKI ON REPEAT!!

Janus,through tears: I've bEeN BiG anD sMalL, AnD bIG aNd SmAll aGAin......

-------------------------------------------

Logan: It's times like these where I wish you could just shut the fuck up.

Remus: What I just said that doctors can perform brain surgery while the patient is awake.

--------------------------------------------

Virgil: Remus we aren't friends anymore, you're going in the DNI section of my tumblr bio.

Remus: SHAWTY IS GIVING ME A FREE SHOUT OUT!!

--------------------------------------------

Janus: Okay patton you had your turn with the kitten now its our turn.

Patton: NO!

Logan: Give her to us Patton.

Patton: If any of you dare to take Luna (the cats name) I will not hesitate to place a lego peice after ever step you take.

Everyone:*slowly backs away*

--------------------------------------------

Roman: if you ever met a straight guy and he says he does musical theatre, that man it the biggest liar known to our generation and is living in a closet made of glass.

--------------------------------------------

Virgil: I feel like you were a lesbian in your past life.

Patton: Oh definitely 100% agree.

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Remus: The reason I am so disappointed in myself is that I am a whore living in a virgins body. I have been fucked 78 times in my head but never in reality.

--------------------------------------------

Logan: I would rather get stabbed 54 times in the chest by a toothpick and pour lemon juice into my eyeballs than to share a bed with you.

Roman, who snores way too loud: Understandable, have a good night, hope you sleep with one eye open.

--------------------------------------------

Janus: OMG!! I love the look you are going today, the eyes bags from crying yourself to sleep over a boy that doesn't care about really compliments the I didn't get enough attention as a child and now I get overly attached to people way too quickly, you're killing it!!

Virgil: 🖕😐🖕

--------------------------------------------

Remus: I would eat the communist manifesto.

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Virgil: I'm not saying I wanna die but if I was in a dark alley and someone just stabbed and left me there to die............. I wouldn't be disappointed.

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Comment if you wnat to see more of the weird shit my friends and I say

Reblogs appreciated

[sunshineseung]

My assumptions about you based on who your stray kids bias is~

Bang Chan: you’re constantly horny, but you mask it with 🌸🥺💗💌 but we all know what you’re thinking about, and it’s Chris’ arms. 90% of your camera roll is pictures of Chan being cute or sexy, and your YouTube history is just Chan’s room clips. You’re also super duper OT8 though. You love these boys almost as much as your bias does. I’m guessing you went through an emo phase sometime in your life, or at least often wear all black with layers upon layers no matter the weather. 

Lee Know: you’re really smart and/or really gay. Lesbians love Lino! You’ve probably read the hunger games or a similar book series at some point, and now you just like guys that are cold or serious a lot. You’re some of the only people that see minho for more than just being “mean”, and I really appreciate that. Also, you’re all cat people. Unlike stray kids, you can name and identify all of Minho’s cats, and I’m sure he appreciates that. Although most people would get mad, you’re through the moon when your favorite idols post selfies with stupid, face-warping filters, and theyre more than often your lock screen. Overall, you’re the superior kind of stay, and far too powerful to be contained.

Changbin: Oh my god, we get it, you love him. (kidding, please keep talking about him). You have a real heart of gold. Basically the nicest person ever, but you can still pick on your friends from time to time. There’s so much love in your heart, but most of it is for Changbin. No offence, but you’re probably short (although arent most stays short?). Crazy assumption, but did you go through a steven universe/gravity falls phase? Don’t worry, the best of us did. You probably have very fond memories of children’s media like cartoons or childrens books, and i’m nearly certain you own at least two Squishmallows. I will protect you at all costs.

Hyunjin: Oh, so you’re really hot. You’re also very opinionated and outgoing when needed, but damn. Leave some for the rest of us. You don’t even know you’re breaking hearts left and right, but please don’t stop. You don’t have a ton of friends, but a few very close ones, and you’re okay with that. You’re also very talented at a lot of things, even things you don’t know or think you’re good at. The jack of all trades type. You’re very much the kind of person to speak up when you see something going wrong, whether it’s bigotry, bullying, or anything you personally don’t agree with. Don’t get it wrong, though, if anyone even mentions Hyunjin or Stray Kids, you’re ready to go on a 5 hours tirade about how amazing and talented and pretty Hwang Hyunjin is. May god have mercy on those who are within earshot. 

Han: Stop acting so tough. We all know you’re just a little softy. No amount of silver jewelry or punk/alternative clothing can hide who you are inside: a baby. Han Jisung is your wallpaper, your app icons, your inspiration, your happiness!!! You would do anything to protect Jisung and make him happy. If you ever hear your friends or loved ones talking poorly about themselves, you’re ready to jump on them and cover them in love and compliments and reassure them that they are incredible. You’re everyone’s best friend and you don’t even know it. You’re also super duper funny! This might sound odd, but you probably have a strong opinion about tiktok houses. Quick question: what’s your favorite sitcom to reference? Or what’s the tiktok audio you reference constantly for a month before forgetting it exists? 

Felix: You’re adorable. You make my fragile little heart melt. Your existence lights up the lives of everyone around you, and the brightness of your smile is rivalled only by the sun. Although you might be a little anxious sometimes, your presence is a present and everyone adores you! You’re so nice to everyone around you, and we all appreciate it. To you, Felix is your happy place. Truly, just looking at a picture of Felix makes you feel warm and cozy in the best way possible. Although you first fell in love with him for his voice, by now you understand all of his talents and charms. You’re beyond whipped for this man, but whenever asked about it, you just say “I love him” :) super cute omg. Sorry if this calls you out, but you probably went through a Dan and Phil phase, and you might even still watch them to this day, albeit without the sharpie whiskers. Stay cute, babes!

Seungmin: You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You look like Linda Evangelista. You’re a model. Did you stone those tights? Oh, you’re smiling! ... okay but can we talk about how amazing Seungmin biased people are? Literally so nice and well mannered, and I’m not just saying that because I’m one of them. You’re sometimes really sassy and catty, but most of the time, you’re just a ball of sunshine. You’re super cute, and you’re probably obsessed with cottage core aesthetic or Sanrio characters (or both)! You probably play and instrument of some kind, or even sing a little. Maybe even draw omg you’re talentedddd. You’re also accidentally funny a lot, whether that’s from clumsiness or cuteness. Despite looking adorable, you’re uper smart and cunning, probably witty as fuck when you get into arguments, which isn’t often because you shut down the other person faster than they can think of a response. Lovely lovely lovely people!

Jeongin: You’re either a few years older than Jeongin and baby him to death or you’re a few years younger than him and you just think he’s cute (although he’s getting a lot hotter omg did you see his arms???) You can be a little quiet sometimes, but whenever you talk, it’s something mindblowingly insightful or painfully hilarious. You can be super cute when you need to get something, and only when you want something. Again, you break hearts left and right, but don’t stop. Everyone fucking loooooooves you, and your friend group will not hesitate to remind you how much they appreciate you. You have a bunch of hidden talents that only a very few amount of people know, because to you, they’re just hobbies. You’re super talented and amazing, and you don’t even know it! You’re probably very clumsy and bubbly, even when no one is around. There’s probably some Panic! at the Disco or Troye Sivan on your playlist. 

woof this was rough lol i hope this was funny to some people. reblog with how much i got right about you in the tags, cuties! :)

[wjmild]

2020 BEST WORKS + FOLLOW FOREVER

i was tagged a week or so ago to do my own best works, but I’ve been tagged since then by some really fantastic people who spread some love to others so i’m gonna copy Cata and share love to some of the best. thank you for tagging me Shannon @yihwas and Amanda @curlykytta and Cata @gigiesarocha for making me smile with your tags🥰

@gigiesarocha cata my dearest love i adore you so much. thank you for bearing with the worst and best shows of all time with me. i am so so glad to have met you this year, you absolutely wonderful friend. your acts of service wintops set makes me so emo and your passion for this show makes my heart so full

@tawanv / @billkinpp ms. weerayut, Violet my soulmate, my fiancée,  we have ruined each other’s sleep schedules with our 13 hour time difference but i love your friendship so much i would gladly stay up till 5 am talking about || nothing and everything|| with you. i love all of your gifs always but i love when u flirt with me on main through markkit

the @giftedgays: what a chaotic crew i adore all of you immensely and the conversations we have. Vee @gunatps the korn to my mon, Jo @soulmatelines this tharafrong set sends me to space every time, Roa @tanwirapong your lee!supot fits set you made for me is everything, Ke @lee-thanat and Dawn @pangwave my lesbians for lee thanat Dawn this word weave... ugh the atwood of it all, my favorite father rahul @petekaos my absolute favorite fic of yours and i want to try the tangerine pie so bad, Mel, @vihokratanas i cant believe you made this set... a curse, my book loving greek duo Eleni @pvrrish  this is just really cute and i love it and Angel @class2clown this one hurts and we talked about this on discord too but UGH them, Alexa @doctorbahnjit why are you So funny and of course the love of my life Cass @wavelovespang this comparison blows me away every time i see it ugh

@mybabybright Bay the queen of show recommendations and my long khong dealer. i adore you and all of the tea you bring me about various shows and actor drama. i literally love this set so much my two underrated fave shows

@khaotungthanawat Sam the worst co-husband in existence i love you and your passion for shows and your giffing power is incredible. all of your parallels always blow me away but this one is my favorite because it makes me laugh AND cry

@taytawan Nuria my sweet sweet Nuria i love you and our petekao talks and music talks and editing talks and your heart is so kind i adore you. i loved doing this concept with you particularly and making matching edits with you 

Soph @1akorn and Shannon @yihwas you both are so cool i can’t believe you even follow me but thank you so much for creating the @lakornladies network, i love seeing all the fantastic women and also giving me shows to add to my list. and @janeramida Vianey i absolutely adore your gifs of SIZZY especially this one bc i love this shoot

@sarawatism Nen queen of ghost ships i miss you so much and our discussions about the wildest ideas. I loved doing this compilation set with you and this caption always makes me giggle

@serannes Ellis and Amanda @curlykytta you two are like the only ones who also talk about and watch School Rangers with me and i love being able to laugh about it with someone. Ellis i think about this post everyday and Amanda i love this series of episodes your gifs of it make me laugh so hard

@toptaps zey the sweetest in the world i love you sweets and your love of shows making me want to watch them (The Stranded, Guardian, etc) take care of yourself love. one of my favorite of yours is obviously them from the stranded

And a small alphabetical list of other people I love following even if we haven’t talked much, haven’t talked in a while, or even if we have never talked:

@applelapis Bri ~ @atpgun Dora ~ @b-iconpearl Rosie (i miss you love, hope you are well.) ~ @brightwin Jelly ~ @bounbl ~ @emisfritish Emma (you are so kind and your fics are so incredible) ~ @fushiguroo Lasya ~ @gayvlad Nico ~ @gaywangji Lex ~ @gooseras Kay ~ @gunsatthaphan Doreen (you are so cool i love seeing your gifs on my dash!) ~ @hautemilk Erin (i miss simping for Ms. Darin with you every Sunday) ~ @joblessquinoa JQ ~ @katsamonnat Jas (literally constantly thinking about fwb deanwin) ~ @lesbian-earn May ~ @lesbianpetekao Harrie ~ @metawwin Ali (lovely lovely i miss you!) ~ @metawin Jay ~ @minghao-ah Morgan (you are like the only other person who gifs he she it i just think ur neat) ~ @mikejuice (the mikegodji agenda is so strong) ~  @niwatem Amanda ~ @obsiditae Jan ~ @offgunatp Max ~ @phukao Amy (thank you for always posting actors instagram pictures i always cant wait until you post some of them so i can reblog them from you!) ~ @pourquoiyyy Laurie ~ @premboun Melissa ~ @stanfrankdrake Vic (one of my first friends on here, hope youre well love) ~ @tachineko Lay ~ @taywillbefree Nele ~ @teh-ohaew Tay ~ @tichawongtipkanon Dira (your ticha love makes me so happy i love seeing her and thinking of you) ~ @vladaustrias Julia ~ @yibobibo Aamna ~ @yourletters MJ

i’m sure i missed someone so if i did shoot me a message because i definitely didn’t mean to leave anyone off, and of course even if we aren’t mutuals i love seeing everyone in this fandom post all the time in the tags and during airing shows. 

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

[marmolady]

Pride

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Diego x Varyyn, Estela x MC

Summary: (Endless Ending– set after my longer fic, ‘Broken Chains’, if you’ve not read it, assume a happy ending).  Surrounded by a barrier of friends, Varyyn joins Diego as they march in their very first Pride parade.

Word Count: 1588

Tagging:   @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr,  @greengroove

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Cloaked in a dark hood, at odds with the popping attire of near everyone around him, Varyyn was wide-eyed with fascination as he stepped out of the Northbridge train station, Diego at his side. The streets were awash with colour, hues that were draped over countless flags, banners, even the skin of revelers.

Diego grasped his husband’s hand tightly. He was awash with emotion; anxiety at having Varyyn surrounded by so many people, but more than that, a feeling of belonging that he’d craved for as long as he could remember.

“This is it, Varyyn,” he uttered hoarsely. “Happy Pride!”

“I am always proud to be with you, my love.”

Taylor was grinning like an idiot-- for her, too, this was a first, as it was for Estela with whom her fingers were entwined. “We’ve got this, Diego, the rest of us should be enough of a barrier to stop anyone from looking at you two too closely.”

Giving his best friend a warm smile, Diego nodded. That he’d been touched to have ten friends putting themselves out there to give him the kind of Pride experience he’d wistfully imagined was an understatement. They had his back. “Yeah, we got this.”

He looked around. Friends surrounded him on all sides, dressed in their colours or else proudly wearing ‘ally’ pins. To think he’d felt so alone before--

“Hey!” Craig exclaimed, “If anyone gets to close to our V-Dog, I can pull off a killer diversion. I’ve been practising my moves for weeks…”

“It’s been fucking torture to watch,” Zahra said. “But, yeah, your dancing will scare anyone off, I’ll give you that.”

As they marched on with the parade, the smile on Estela’s face just grew broader. She’d never had a chance to do anything like this in San Trobida, and probably she’d have steered clear of all the fuss anyway. Since returning from La Huerta, her sexuality, the identity that came with it, meant a whole lot more. On La Huerta, no one gave a damn, and she hadn’t bothered herself with labels. Today,though, her wrist was adorned with a pink, yellow and blue bracelet.

“I didn’t know you identified as pansexual?” Quinn queried warmly. When they’d discussed these things previously, Estela had always been vague-- which had always been accepted without hesitation; but it seemed something had changed.

Estela nodded. “I didn’t think I wanted a label, but then I thought… words have power. They can make you visible. I like who I am, how I love; a lot of people where I’m from struggle with that because for so long they had to hide. Visibility is important.”

“That’s my wife! Fighting the good fight and making the world less shit, one PDA at a time.” Taylor jumped to give Estela an enormous smooch, delighting in the happy squirm she caused.

“So, uh,” Estela tried to continue, whilst her love continued to pepper her face and neck with kisses, “basically, I just… find some people attractive. And I don’t think it would have mattered if Taylor was a guy or a girl or both or neither. She’s my person. It was a weird feeling, like something deep inside me knew.”

“Aw, ‘Stel!” Taylor gushed. “As for me? Basically, I’m gay as the day is long. Useless Lesbian: Alien Edition.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Zahra scoffed. “You’re a walking fucking stereotype. If there were U-Hauls on La Huerta, maybe you wouldn’t have even needed to get hitched after what… how many weeks? Three? Four?”

Diego was quick to swoop to his friend’s defence. “Hey! La Huerta rules apply! Way too much wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff to untangle.”

Quinn smiled warmly. It wasn’t the first time she’d been to one of these events, nor even the third or fourth, but to be surrounded by the friends who’d become her family made for a very different experience. She was not alone, dodging pitying whispers while she tried to embrace a side of herself that was so much more than ‘the dying girl’. And now, she had Michelle.

“Life can be over so fast; if you care for someone, there’s no shame in putting yourself out there and showing it.” She gave Michelle’s hand a squeeze, and they exchanged an affectionate glance. “Being trapped at the end of the world can do a lot to put things in perspective. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m living without regrets. Who I am is who I am; and that includes the pieces I wished I could hide from.”

Grace looked to her friend with admiration. “That’s very brave, Quinn. Sometimes accepting yourself can be the hardest thing.” Especially when the people you love can’t look at the true you and do the same. “Honestly, you’ve helped me a lot.”

Walking beside Diego, Varyyn was beginning to see why they called it ‘Pride’; he could feel it emanating from his husband, creating a warmth that had nothing to do with the sun beating down. And the smile on Diego’s face? Varyyn was sure he’d not ever seen anything quite so beautiful. Though careful not to peer to far out from his hood, he took the time to look over each of the different coloured flags and ask about each one. A young woman jogged past, wearing a cape of black, grey, white and purple-- the same design that was plastered across Raj’s shirt.

“Raj,” he queried, “ I believe Diego told me about your colours. It is for… ‘ace’? For no romantic partners?”

“You got it! Basically, I get all the love I need from my bros. I never really felt like anything was missing, you know?”

“I understand. It’s not something my people have a word for, though I know several friends who have always felt the way you do,” he said, thoughtfully. “So much of this we don’t have words for; we just… be. I appreciate your sharing with me. And I am very grateful to be one of your bros.”

The whole experience was vastly different to anything that could exist among the Vaanti. Sexuality and gender was of so little consequence; there had never been much weight put on words and labels, there were no expectations that it be necessary. By the generally agreed upon human terms, Varyyn supposed he might call himself ‘pansexual’ as Estela did. The rainbow flag, though, was his favourite. In it he saw the jubilation of making it through a storm to something beautiful. Appropriate it was, that it meant so much to Diego, as he stepped out unafraid and loved. Varyyn looked at Diego, his husband, the love of his life; surrounded by a wall of friends, laughing on Taylor’s shoulder. He was truly radiant.

Varyyn put a hand on Raj’s shoulder. “Could I ask a great favour of you?”

“A personal favour for the elyyshar of the Vaanti? I think I can swing that….”

Taylor was chuckling as she ruffled her best friend’s hair. “So, how is it? Everything you dreamed of-- if you’d even dreamed you’d have the Knights’ bi legend Sean Gayle as part of your pride posse?”

“Pretty sure Past Diego would think you’d hit your head too hard if you’d tried to tell him this was coming. I mean, the time travel, the monsters, my best friend being some sort of knockoff ET, are unbelievable enough, but these kind of squad goals…? I…” Suddenly, he found himself choking up. If it was a life-altering adventure, he’d got it. What was left at the end of it was something that could never be truly grasped by outsiders, some bond, sacred even, that had helped him find his own strength. As he struggled to come to grips with the tatters that remained of his family life, it was that strength that would keep him afloat, and that bond that would see his heart start to heal. “I… didn’t think this feeling was possible for me.”

And Taylor hugged him tight. “You’d better get used to it, because you’re stuck with us. You deserve this. Just for being you… and also for being the world’s best wingman. The best thing that ever happened to me happened because you helped me believe in taking a leap. Diego Soto, I will never not owe you one,” she laughed.”So, for my next trick, I will pass you off to someone who wants his arms around you even more than I do. You’re welcome.

With a wink, Taylor spun Diego into Varyyn’s waiting arms, which draped an enormous rainbow flag around the two of them.

“My love,” Varyyn crooned,  “you bring my world more beauty than I believed possible. You showed me hope and light in my darkest hour. Diego, you are my rainbow.”

Cloaked in a fluttering of multicoloured fabric, they kissed, long and tender; the pounding of music and marching, the chants of ‘Variego!’ fading far into the background, beyond their own private euphoric celebration.

Varyyn came away slowly, his expression warm as he stared into a look of fierce affection. How could he ever have dreamed what had been held in store for him, when this lion-hearted storyteller was beyond anything Vaanu had yet shown him. A whispered ‘I love you’ from his beloved Diego set his heart, once again, all aflutter, dancing like the rainbow flag around their heads. “And I love you.”He quirked an eyebrow. “Best Pride ever?”

Diego gave a short laugh and pecked a kiss to his love’s gentle lips. “Best Pride ever.”

[alphaofdarkness]

not me here for the oc ask ! can't wait to answer the ones you asked me, tomorrow i have my exam and then i shall live again haha ! but now i'll ask you 1, 2, 17, 18, 19, 20 and 31 — i know, it is a lot ( you don't have to do them all 💕) , but i really want to know something more about your wonderful babies and Dany ofc ! I missed her sm during this semi-hiatus 🤧💕💕💕 hope you're doing fine, sending you lots of love 💞💕💘

@carmenio Edgy!! 🥺 so happy to hear from you! ✨ I love these kinds of asks, especially on my many, many OC babies! I hope these answers are good and interesting to thee! I’ll present more info on Dany to some way, some how cause I love her 😭💖

I have gone and included the other questions you asked as well! 🤗 Let’s dive in! 😳

1. Gone and Answered Here ! UwU

2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?

Personal favorite is often shown in the one I draw the most lol, which for a long time was Danielle LWW, but just because she was also my wolfsona at the time. After I made my own personal one I think I went onto Sam for a good while, also eventually going to Dany from Bsd!

So a tie between two beautiful girls, Sam is definitely my favorite LWW Oc, she is just precious and the one I hold the most and most always feel terrible and bad when I put her through it TM. 

Also Dany is my self insert, U//w//U, she has definitely allowed me to slowly self love and allow me to appreciate myself, especially the parts of me I didn’t think to much about or consider so appealing, I think? She has definitely been changing gradually into more of myself since I first came up with her almost 2 years ago! Watch me slowly knock her down to my height of 4′9″, let her have her 3 inches for another year maybe lol.

My dearest Atsushi agrees lol ✨🐯

17. Any OC OTPs? 

👀 lol yesss~ so many and so many crack ships too, which I'll answer next 😂

I’ll just go on and list them off, plenty more of them but~:

DanyJay

SoraYama

LidiaTom

AlikLucy

IsabelleKayla

AlexanderIsabelle

DarkwolfmonJatomon

JatamonRaiwolfmon

EarthamonHounmon

HumaamonWolverimon

And lastly TakaSam is the one I have definitely drawn and thought of the most! They are the top OTP and just best trope of Childhood Friends to Lovers trope, also filling in that trope of Oblivious to both of them but everyone else 🙄. While SoraYama may have been the OG Couple in my story, my love and warmth for TakaSam is unmatched TwT.

It is wild cause I always draw anguish between them as could-have-been-lovers-had-it-not-been-for-death, but recently been drawing them purely happy and content. Total sweethearts, the love everyone wants, excluding possibility of being old friends or not!

18. Any OC crackships?

L o l, I never seem to focus on the main couples because of this specific thing.

I’ll again just go off in list an maybe add a trope or something to get an idea of them:

DanyYama: Rivals, Constantly arguing, and can be petty as heck, but oh the potential and just possibility of opening up after the traumaTM 👀 also the couple that is always in your face about being in a relationship.

DanySora: Sparing partners, the sass and stubbornness, BiPan solidarity 👀

DanyLidia: Pure, wholesome, best friends and so much hugging and lifting from the tol to smol, the nature love vibes

SamJay: Wholesome, soft, healing together from traumaTM, protectiveness, also their Digimon were lovers and married in their previous life, what does that make us? 😳

SamDany: Mostly sibling-like relationship, but damn they have that Sun and Moon tropes?! How can you not possibly ship them!

SamLula: Shy and Confident, Bisexual/Lesbian solidarity 💕✨

JaySora: Opposite of the DanyYama tropes, why are our partners constantly arguing, can they please stop, pure and soft together.

DanyTaka: Digimon Au specifically, Oh you and I are the voice of the revolution? We are rallying up the troops together? Oh boi my Digimon feels love for yours, am I falling for you or are we falling together? Depression buddies but also each others hope and spirit boost ;;w;;

Any of the Warriors with the Sins: A whole lo t of mess, and just not healthy ... but I can already seen fandom people sayin g otherwise~

LustWrath: Spicy, no strings attached kind of deal.

WrathEnvy: ...Oof um, not healthy, kind of manipulative, we are devils there is nothing but toxic vibes.

PrideWrath: Rulers, King and Queen vibes, Yeah we are toxic for each other, f*** off.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Definitely Darkwolfmon! I am sure I explained in the first question why, but again I consider her to be that other half of me, the part of me I never discovered or the parts that essentially fill in the gaps within me. She is my precious partner Digimon and has honestly come a long, long way since I first created her. I believe sometime in 2009-2010, so almost 11-12 years since. She was the first ever OC of mine and is one I hold closest too in my heart.

For the longest time, even too now, I have always wanted her to just manifest at my side. Go on this journey of life together. While she might not be physically here like my child-self would want, she is still in my stories, my imagination, my inspirational drive. I think that is definitely more than enough, I don't know where or who I would be without having created her. I probably wouldn’t have a whole tale of OC’s and stories to tell if it wasn't for her. 

I am more than grateful and thankful that I am who I am because of this lovely Oc of mine. I can only hope to have her at my side for the rest of my days!

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Most, if not all, my OC’s can sing! Their voices and tones vary, to which I cannot give a straight answer on how I headcanon most of their voices right now ^^; I will say that Danielle has a British accent to her voice as well as Spanish speak, and Sora has a Russian accent to her voice, so may be just lightly deep, but not to much.

I will definitely go with my Bsd Oc/Self Insert Danielle Mika Mason, however! Because I have gone and done a thing on how she would speak in her Japanese and English Dub! Other than me also being her voice, her Japanese VA would be Yui Ishikawa, same VA of the queen herself, Mikasa 💕 English VA would be Barrett Wilbert Weed, with an English accent, good Veronica from the Heathers! You can have a listen to her here in this post! 

Dany is meek when it comes to her singing, she will often be caught humming and softly singing something, but quickly tends to stop around others. She is often back and forth with how she sounds and often shuts down when she hears someone she considers better than her. She just needs some encouragement and a gentle push from someone she really cares about. When she does feel the push and genuineness from someone she will sing her heart out. But of course prefers to sing for only that one special person~ can ya guess~ 🐯

31.  Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really).

Oh boi! I literally have moodboards to add to this! I pick Samantha, or Sam! 

She would totes have a Tumblr blog, and Instagram! You always look forward to see what she post and just feel an instant calmness and warmth when you see it! She is always tagging her things appropriately, a soft and warm spring like layout that is shades of yellows, golds, orange, white; an occasional blue and teal as well! She would reblog anything of her aesthetic, golds, yellows, dance and ballet related things (may even post videos or poses of herself in practice and dance related things), cafe shops, sweets and desserts, warm night lights, cats, lots and lots of cats and felines of all shapes and sizes! Her best friend/boyfriend, Takaru always cameos in her stories and posts 💖

She would also reblog or spread awareness of any issues happening in the world, marking them and making her own voice heard as well. In spur moments, you may see her not tag things, but will likely go back to name things accordingly. She would also reblog anything of Bi Pride too!

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Hmmm,,, my most dangerous Oc, I am taking the notion that they are just plain dangerous and likely of evil intent in their actions. Because plenty of my Oc’s on their own are dangerous in their own right, such as the Legendary Wolf Warriors, who have a great power at their paws. They can be destructive in their actions if they lose control or use it for the wrong intentions, which they wouldn't do of their free will. 

I will say Danielle and Sam are the strongest of the seven, because of their powers of Darkness and Light, respectively. Their souls created the others, so the other Warrior’s power does not match theirs. They can definitely be lethal together if used for the wrong reasons or if they are under the control of a Human or Deadly Sin.

Which leads me to say that the most dangerous of my OC’s with the worst intentions and evil thought processes that makes them dangerous is likely the Deadly Soul Sin Pride, or Mikka Penelope King/Pride as her solid name goes. 

She is definitely the most sinister of the seven sins, even worse than Wrath, who you may figure would be the worst. She has a calculating mind and is very precise in her actions and ways of manipulation. She has a poison within her veins that is just as deadly, capable of blinding others or even killing without remorse or care. While she may be a ghost like entity in my stories, a person/digimon holder in my Digimon College Au, she has enough power to influence people to fall under pride and vanity in the most dangerous level possible, heck even possess them if she wishes. That makes her stronger, as well as the other sins. Does not matter if she is dead or fades away for a while, her influence remains and if it does, than she can exist for a long as she desires.

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Lol I saw cinnamon roll and instantly had a list of ocs ready, honestly any child OC I have is instantly a cinnamon roll and to good and put for this world, please treat them all kindly!

Current top Oc’s that come to mind are Haruko Mason-Nakajima, along with their nameless sister/pup! They are the sweetest babies ever and love them so much. Too good and pure, especially nameless pup with her love for tigers; she wants to grow up and be like her sibling and papa 🥺🥰  You can see the post on them here!

Next up is my precious flamey boi named Alik Azure Mizuhara! A next gen. LWW, son of Sora and Yamato! A little sightless boi with the softest heart and warmest empathy for others. Very much like his mother in likeness and pure curiosity of the world’s secrets and tales. His father worries for him a lot, but gradually learns to trust in his ability to guide himself. Don’t worry too much about him, he is very smart and knows how to care and guide himself!

Thank you so much for the time and questions you asked me Edgy! I had so much fun with these and gave me a chance to gush about my dearest OC’s! I do hope you find them of interest! 🤗🥺🥰

May your day be beautiful and amazing!! 🥰✨💖

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

The Fantastic Beasts Franchise and JK Rowling

Alright, so...hi everyone.

I don’t know how many people follow this blog anymore because my main blog of operation is now @alwaysahiccupandastrid - I still try to keep this blog relatively active though, just because it was my original blog, I’ve had it since I was 13, and I have so many memories attached to it.

I’m aware that a lot of the people who follow me, especially since late 2016, do so because a) I was a loud and proud Fantastic Beasts fan, b) I wrote some Newtina and Jakweenie fic, and c)...I don’t know. I literally don’t know why people bother following me anywhere because I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. But, anyway, many people probably follow me due to Fantastic Beasts and my posts/fanfics within the fandom.

Those who follow my active blog will already know my feelings and thoughts, but because of the fact many things about this blog - me, the posts for the last four-ish years, the url itself - are Beasts related, I felt it was necessary to come and write an actual post here instead of just reblogging things and calling it a day. I’ve always been very outspoken online, but I’ve been avoiding a certain topic of conversation on this blog for years now, and I’m finally in a place where we can discuss it.

I am, of course, talking about the hot topic that is JK Rowling.

Back in the days between FBAWTFT and FBTCOG, I was a very outspoken defender of JK Rowling and her decision to defend Johnny Depp’s inclusion in the films. Now, this is something I still stand by to this day, and due to the evidence that has since come out, I’m even more steadfast in the opinion that keeping Depp was a great decision. I am fully in support of him and the way he’s currently battling against his abuser. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about right now. As I was saying, back in the day, I was outspoken about the opinion that “we don’t know the full story” etc., and as a result I received very colourful anon messages. Now, to my knowledge, none of these were about JKR being a TERF/transphone, but I think it’s important to mention that at the time I scoffed at the idea she could be one. I openly admit that I didn’t listen to what other people - including actual trans individuals - were saying about JKR and her transphobia because I frankly didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit that the person who wrote something that saved my life could be so hateful and a bad person - that, and at the time I passed it all off as “wokeness out of control”.

It is now 2020. Up until last Saturday night, I was still in support of JK Rowling - I didn’t agree with some of the stuff she had said, but I was trying to be positive and have hope by telling myself that she didn’t mean to be transphobic, that she just didn’t know what she was doing was wrong, even though the evidence clearly showed otherwise (I.e. her liking transphobic / radfem tweets). I said to my followers on my Beasts page that instead of cancelling people outright, we should be attempting to educate them instead, and if they choose not to learn then fine. And, being 100% obvious, I didn’t want to admit it because I frankly already was feeling annoyed at two different Beasts cast members for different reasons: Ezra Miller (for choking a girl) and Dan Fogler (for his tweet about BLM - admittedly that was probably him being well intentioned but not saying it right). So yeah, I didn’t want to cancel another member of the Beasts “family”.

I had JKR’s tweets on notifications, and for the most part over the last few weeks, it was all about the Ickabog. However, on Saturday night I noticed that she had suddenly tweeted something completely different, and I looked at it. Given that I had adamantly defended her and said “freedom of speech” for so long, it’s telling that my first thought upon seeing her tweet was literally “for fuck sake, Jo, why”.

I won’t post her tweets here but to sum that first tweet up, it was her being annoyed over the term “people who menstruate” being used in an article instead of “woman”, and mockingly saying “there used to be a word for that” before pretending she didn’t know the word. She knew that tweeting it would start arguments and anger, and yet she still made the decision to do so. Her follow up tweets frankly dug the hole deeper; she tried to defend herself by saying, to sum it up, “I have a butch lesbian friend who agrees with me” “I just care about women’s rights!” And “IF trans people were marginalised I’d march with you!” (“If”, of course, being the real kicker here because what do you mean IF. They ARE. Every DAY.)

Since then, JKR has written an essay on her website defending herself and her opinions, and yes, I read it. I read it a few times, in fact. At first, I felt my anger simmer and felt I had been too hasty to make anti JKR jokes, that I was wrong...but then I read it again properly and realised that what she had written was a piece that turned herself into the victim, and that despite putting on the appearance of her saying she supports trans people, including the phrases “I support trans people” and “of course trans women are real women”, she still spewed much transphobic vitriol and hate. She cited no sources for any of her proclamations or statements about statistics, implied that trans men transition to escape their “womanhood”, that trans women are men in dresses, that trans women are dangerous to “real” women (aka cis women) and shouldn’t be allowed into women’s changing rooms or toilets. There was also the autism comment, and the implication of autistic girls somehow not being able to make decisions or whatever.

I’m going to get straight to the point: I don’t support JK Rowling or her radical feminism.

As someone who is a proud feminist (libfem?), I can honestly say that never have I felt threatened or like I was being silenced by the inclusion of trans women in feminist spaces or conversation. Never. In my second year at sixth form, I was in charge of the LGBTQ+ club until a new leader with better leadership skills could step in, and - put simply - that year, the club was made almost entirely of first year transgender students. Even though I had called myself a trans ally for years, I realised there was a lot I didn’t know, and I learnt quite a lot from these students. I continue to still learn today. They were some of the nicest and most intelligent people I got the chance to meet, and I can truly say that at no point was I ever worried to be in a room alone with a trans woman, nor was I concerned about which bathroom they went in - bathrooms are bathrooms. Speaking of bathrooms...when I was at uni during a particularly tense rehearsal a few weeks before our final show last year, a guy in our group made me cry and I ran to the women’s bathroom to escape. Not only did the other girls come to comfort me, but you know what? The guy came in and apologised profusely to me. Did any of us girls give a shit about having a guy in our toilet? Absolutely not. It’s a fucking toilet. And, on that note, I was never worried about a trans woman or even a cis man attacking me in the toilets. You know who DID attack me in the toilets regularly? Other cisgender women.

As a feminist, I fully support trans women and am not threatened by the inclusion of trans women in women’s spaces or in women’s rights discussions. While I agree that cis women and trans women inevitably go through different struggles, at the end of the day, we all identify as women and are women. I think that if your feminism is so threatened by the existence of trans women - TERFs, RadFems, JKR, looking at you - then your feminism is flimsy and not feminism at all.

As a woman, I find it highly offensive that JKR and many RadFems focus so much of womanhood and feminism on an involuntary biological function that, frankly, many of us would rather do without. Yeah, I’m talking about periods - no matter how proud I am to be a woman, I still fucking hate periods and would get rid of mine if I could without erasing my chance of having kids someday. I can hear the RadFems accusing me of “internalised woman hatred” for saying I hate my periods, but you know what, they suck and they hurt and fuck them. The fact that JKR (also the the radfem movement) reduced “women” to just people who menstruate and can have children, and vice versa, is incredibly offensive and misogynistic. For a start, trans men menstruate, intersex people can, non binary can etc. Next, not even ALL cis women have periods - women who are menopausal, young women who haven’t started puberty yet (some do start very late), some women don’t have regular cycles, some women have medical problems that affect their cycle, some women are on birth control that can stop their cycles. So the idea of women being defined as “those who menstruate” is offensive not only to trans/intersex/non binary individuals but also to cis ones too.

As I write this, I’m a 22 year old woman who is still learning and changing every day, and one of the things that I’ve found myself thinking about recently - especially since we’re in lockdown and we have nothing BUT time to think - is about myself and my identity as a woman. What prompted this was when I saw Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s beloved book, “Little Women”, which I’ve since read, for my birthday back in January, and I left the cinema feeling exalted and powerful with my own identity as a woman. (I’ll be returning to LW in a bit)

After some thinking, I’ve realised some things. For me, my identity as a woman is not just because once a month my uterus decides to shed; I do not identify as a woman just because I have certain physical features. I am not a particularly feminine person either, and I’m what some may call a “tomboy” (a phrase I actually don’t mind but I know a lot of people do for understandable reasons since it’s a phrase designed to differentiate people who don’t conform to society’s expectations etc) because I prefer video games and more geeky stuff to shopping or dressing up or make up.

For me, there is no one way a person has to be or appear in order to identify as a woman. Women are beautiful, complex human beings; we are not defined by our genitalia, by an involuntary biological process. Women are strong, intelligent, and interesting people - no two are the same. For example, some decide to raise families, some choose to pursue a career, some do both - all of these are valid and none are more “feminist” or “womanly” than the others, because it’s our as women. I guarantee that if you lined up every single woman in the world - cis AND trans - no two would be the exact same.

I mentioned “Little Women” earlier, and as I was pondering over what makes me identify as a “woman”, I thought a lot about a certain quote from the 2019 film that has stayed with me since it was first said in the release of the trailer. It’s spoken by Jo March to her mother, and I’ve started to understand what for me makes me a woman.

For me, being a woman is all of this: having minds, hearts, souls, ambition, talent, and being beautiful each in our own ways. Women are capable of love and empathy, capable of desire, capable of the most complex and human feelings and emotions, and coming out the stronger for it.

Sex is one thing; gender identity is another.

I won’t dissect every single thing JKR wrote in her essay, but I will just say this: her comments regarding autistic girls are extremely tone deaf and she does not speak for those with autism. I’m going to be honest and admit something here I haven’t before: I have not been diagnosed with autism or aspergers but I AM currently on the waiting list to see someone who COULD diagnose me. Apparently I show signs of a potential diagnosis, so...we’ll have to see. But I have friends who are autistic, and they’re disgusted by JKR trying to use them to support her TERF arguments. Autistic and other neurodivergent people are absolutely capable of making decisions and are NOT people who need to be babied or have their hands held, to be told who they are. It’s incredibly ableist of JK Rowling frankly.

I would also like to point out... I’ve seen people saying “but she doesn’t hate autistic people, Newt is autistic!!!” - yes, but JKR didn’t write him as autistic. Eddie Redmayne chose to play Newt as autistic - JK Rowling didn’t do shit.

It’s also time that I acknowledge that both Potter and Beasts inevitably hold JKR’s problematic views, and that by denying her ownership of her work, we’re not holding her accountable for the horrible things she’s done. This includes - but is not limited to -:

Anti-Semitic stereotypes in the goblins

Lycanthropy being used as a metaphor for AIDS - an illness that is heavily associated to the gay community, and also there was the panic of the AIDs crisis in the 90s where much misinformation and homophobia was generated and spread because of it.

Adding further to the lycanthropy point, one of the infected individuals - Greyback - is stated to have a sick preference for infecting children. Not only are werewolves tied to harmful gay/AIDs stereotypes, but also to the disgusting and frankly wrong notion that gay people are pedophiles.

The only Asian character is called Cho Chang. Cho Chang. That’s two steps away from outright just calling her “Ching Chong”. It’s not a name an actual Asian person would have.

The Goldstein sisters are probably distantly related to Anthony Goldstein, who JKR confirmed (on Twitter of course) is Jewish, meaning that Tina and Queenie are most likely Jewish too (and Goldstein is a Jewish surname). However, despite the fact that the first FBaWTFT is set DURING Hanukkah in 1926, there’s zero signs of them celebrating or observing it. Maybe that’s more on set design than anything else, but come on - if I, a fanfic writer, can do some research, JK/the crew of a major movie can too!

Adding on from that, gotta love how one of the JEWISH main characters then decides to join the Wizarding world equivalent of Hitler. I already had problems with Queenie’s characterisation in CoG, but that’s the icing on the cake.

POC/Black characters - in both series but since I’m a Beasts blog... Seraphina Picquery, a Black female president serving a term during a MAJOR wizarding world crisis, is severely reduced to have only 3 lines in CoG. Nagini’s only purpose is to be the only friend of Credence, a white man, before he joins Wizard Hitler and abandons her; she’s also an Asian character who we know one day permanently becomes a SNAKE, and who goes on to actually have a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside of her?? And some do see her as his slave, though you could argue that she’s actually the only being that he holds any love or respect for. Leta Lestrange is a half-black woman who is killed/literally sacrifices herself for TWO WHITE MEN, and who’s death was literally confirmed to have been added in last minute.

Also, the whole Lestrange storyline was fucking nasty: white Lestrange Sr imperius-ed a black woman (Yusuf Kama’s mother), raped her, and she then died in childbirth. I’m sorry, what the fuck??

In Harry Potter, Seamus is a terrible stereotype of an Irish person - he likes to blow things up. Look up the IRA and their bombings. Fucking Irish stereotype. As someone with Irish grandparents and who is proud of their Irish heritage, this really pisses me off.

Let’s not forget the whole Native American cultural appropriation. That truly speaks for itself.

So here is where I speak candidly to everyone who follows me and/or sees this post. While Beasts is no longer my No. 1 fandom these days, it and Potter still hold a huge piece of my heart. I have 5 wizarding world tattoos, so much merchandise, and I can safely say that being a fan of both series has shaped me as a person. Both of those series helped me get through the darkest days of my life, including bullying at school, my Nan passing away, and my mental health struggles.

This is why what’s happened has impacted me so much and broken my heart. For me, it feels like it’s tainted now because of Jo and her views. I know that we should separate the art from the artist, but when her views are so clearly woven into the very fabric of the Wizarding world, it’s a huge problem.

Here’s another part of the dilemma - I do not wish for the Beasts films to be cancelled. I’m well aware that the *cough* people who dislike me will say I’m trying to be negative, trying to boycott the series blah blah blah, but that’s truly the last thing I want. I still love the story, the characters, the soundtrack, and I want to know how it ends, if only for my own piece of mind. It’s also important to add that by boycotting Beasts, it’s also harming the hard working thousands of others who worked on the films: the cast, the crew, the extras, the musicians, etc., not to mention the fans who actually are invested in the series and have taken solace in it. It’s not fair for them to all suffer over the actions of one TERF.

This is one of my biggest worries, however: the Fantastic Beasts films do NOT have a good reputation as it is. The second film was boycotted by some due to Depp, and now there’s talk of people boycotting number 3 because of JK Rowling. Lots of people already talk hatred about it, and this will only fire that hatred up even more.

There’s also talk of Eddie Redmayne potentially being kicked from the franchise due to a “leak” that he doesn’t want to work with JKR anymore, but this could be sensationalist news reporting. But if it came down to it, I can honestly say that I would rather continue to have Eddie play Newt than keep JKR as a writer. Eddie has done more for Newt than even JKR has, and if he goes, then that will be the last straw for me within the fandom. That will be when I take a sharp exit out, sell my FB merch and have my tattoos covered.

To add, the Fantastic Beasts scripts are...not great. Or, at least, what we saw on-screen wasn’t. Maybe that’s David Yates being the literal worst (fuck you, Yates, you suck) and cutting all the parts with strong female characters, but I honestly don’t think that JKR can write screenplays well at all. I think she’s clearly better at writing books, and that’s fine - books obviously allow for more time to explore characters and story/plot arcs etc, and film scripts offer way less of those chances. I don’t think screenplays allow her to write what she needs to in order to tell the story she wants to, hence why CoG was kind of a hot mess. So maybe it’s just that she’s not suited for screenplays and should stick to books.

Honestly, I kind of just wish that WB would hire another person to finish writing the Fantastic Beasts movies - obviously they’d have to keep JKR on board to tell them the actual plot, but get someone who can actually write screenplays and not be problematic to write them.

By now I’ve gone on long enough that I’ve forgotten my original intent while writing this, so I’ll try to sum up and end now. In short, I am extremely disappointed in JK Rowling and do not support her or her views any longer.

I don’t know how any of you guys are feeling but I would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts, especially other Fantastic Beasts fans. I want to also add that, as always, my DMs and inbox are always open - if not here, then always at @alwaysahiccupandastrid where I’m more active nowadays.

Finally, you guys don’t need me - a white cis woman - to tell you this but you’re all valid and magical and fuck JK Rowling. Her characters would all be ashamed of her, and the characters we grew up with would not stand for the bigotry and vile hatred she spreads under the guise of ““protecting women””. Several of the amazing actors from Potter and Beasts have spoken out against her and her tweets: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Bonnie Wright, Katie Leung, Chris Rankin, Eddie Redmayne. Some have been...less inspiring (Tom Felton, Evanna Lynch, looking at you two 👀)

I’m sending love to everyone right now. I wish I could say something more useful but I’ve spoken enough - I’ve made my opinion clear. I love you all, please stay safe.

[raccdog]

UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS (PART 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4  | Part 5

(Quick notice: I’m not tagging as many people from now on as I was doing before because it takes so long -previously tagged will keep being tagged don’t worry,- if you want to keep up with the updates please just follow me or the tag #unhealthy coping mechanisms or #UCM. Just know that your support is super appreciated and motivates me a lot! I always try to check all notes so don’t be shy and leave a comment, critique, theory, or simply ask, my asks are open! Thank you again for all the support guys. Now onto the juice)

Fuck Hawkmoth. That was the only thing Chat Noir was able to chant inside his head. It was late in the evening and the sun had already come down, the Parisian lights having lit up hours ago.

Of course there had to be an akuma today, at this hour, just as he’d been in the middle of a date with Kagami. Well, not exactly a date date. Sure he found Kagami attractive -not because of her similarities with Ladybug, he didn’t have a type,- and wanted to spend more time with her. But he couldn’t bring himself to do datey stuff like kissing or embracing each other. He wasn’t ready. He was sure he’d get into it as time went on. That’s how it was for everyone right? They started dating and then developed feelings. At least that’s what he hoped for.

The date was probably ruined by now anyways, having had to ditch Kagami in the cinema’s cafe after the alarm had went off.

A flash of red in the corner of his eyes caught his attention, making his heart do somersault inside his chest. He hated how much power she hold over him. He hated how his emotions did pirouettes because of her. He hated his own traitorous heart the most, for he was trying, really trying hard to move on, but it seemed fruitless every time, a piece of him seemed like it would always belong to her.

He landed on a rooftop, facing the Louvre Museum’s plaza, where the akumatized villain seemed to be causing chaos. Ladybug landed next to him five seconds later.

“Hey Bug-” He bit his tongue. “Hey Ladybug,” he corrected himself. He had to constantly remind himself that pet names weren’t appropriate anymore.

“Hey Chat,” she answered softly. He turned to look at her in concern. Ladybug didn’t use that tone of voice normally. Her mask covered most of her face, but he could still make out the exhaustion in her eyes and pale cheeks.

“You ok Ladybug?” He questioned worriedly. “I’m fine Chat I’ve just been…busy.” She said dismissively. He couldn’t help but frown. He knew his lad- Ladybug like the palm of his hand. She was hiding something and not confiding in him, once again. Ladybug keeping secrets, what a surprise. So shocking. The thought came to him involuntarily, so quickly and full of bitterness he couldn’t stop himself. He needed a break. This week’s events had affected his humor too much. He shook his head, trying to dispel some of the sour mood he found himself in. He knew it was petty of him to think that way. Ladybug wasn’t at fault here, even if he’d like she’d rely more on him.

Another crash and more screams made both heroes focus in the akumatized victim again.

“Ready to kick some akuma butt Ladybug?” He smiled, hoping that his voice sounded more cheery than he felt. A loud boom as he went to stand up made him loose his balance, almost toppling over the side of the roof. He looked at Ladybug once again. She was pulling a weird face.

“I think we’ll need help for this fight.” She admitted.

“But who, Master Fu is MIA and he’s supposed to have the miraculous!”

“Not all of them,” Ladybug started running in the opposite direction. “Distract the akuma Chat, I’ll get help!”

“If it isn’t Dragon-girl!” Chat Noir called when he saw Ryuko landing behind Ladybug. He dodged a shot from the akuma and back-flipped until he was next to the other two superheroines “So what do we do now?” He asked, twirling his baton to repel another shot directed towards them.

“You two try to get closer and keep the akuma distracted,” Ladybug announced. “I’ll call my Lucky Charm from afar and then just follow my lead,” she commanded, zipping away with her yo-yo. Chat turned to see Ryuko, her eyes in complete focus. He had to contain a chuckle. Kagami was always so serious. He did felt bad for ditching her before, he’ll have to apologize. “Looks like it’s just us now Firecracker,” he joked, jumping to the side to evade an attack. Kagami whirled to look at him, surprise and shock written on her face. Shit, he had called her with a nickname. “Don’t call me that ever again,” she growled, narrowly dodging another beam. He couldn’t do it anymore. She was just so much fun to tease. “Sure thing Firecracker,” he smirked, looking at her directly.

“Chat look out!” Then suddenly everything was bright.

“What were you thinking you dumb cat!” Ladybug cried, dropping beside him, akuma purified and the Miraculous Cure performed. “What could possibly be so distracting that you don’t dodge a direct attack to the face?” She screeched, pulling lightly at her pigtails in rage.

He opened his mouth to defend himself but Ryuko spoke before he had the chance to say anything. “Apparently calling me Firecracker,” she growled, brows contorted in rage. Ladybug whipped her head around to look at the dragon hero. “He called you what now?” She asked incredulously. She then turned to glare at him, her eyes seething and grounding him against the concrete tiles on the floor.

“How can you be so irresponsible?” She reproached. “You could have been badly hurt! And for what? Just so you could flirt with someone?” She continued to berate him while pacing. “Also I’m pretty sure Ryuko doesn’t appreciate you calling her pet names just like I told you to stop before!” Chat Noir felt his own eye twitch at her, rage building quickly inside of him.

The heroes the noticed the growing crowd surrounding them. It wouldn’t be long before the press got here.

“Notre Dame in 5 minutes,” she growled to him before facing the other heroine. “Come on Ryuko, follow me,” she directed, whipping out her yo-yo as they both jumped away.

Chat Noir landed briskly on the church’s tower, his previous anger still flaring. When he saw the figure of Ladybug touch down he marched towards her. The look on her face told him he probably should be careful, that he was treading dangerous waters, but at that point he couldn’t care less. The pent up frustrations from the week too much for a hot-headed teenager. He stopped in front of her, so close he could feel her ragged breath on his face as he towered over her. He could tell she was angry too, but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care. He was angry too.

“What were you thinking,” she started, not moving even as he stood so close. She wasn’t one to back away after all.

“What’s the matter Ladybug,” he sniped. “Jealous?” He saw with satisfaction as her nostrils opened and her eyes narrowed. “You know that’s not what I-”

“I can call her or any girl whatever I want!” He interrupted. “No you can’t if it’s gonna affect your concentration!” She exclaimed. She shoved a red-clad finger in his chest. “Besides, Ryuko already has someone she’s romantically involved with, you shouldn’t even-”

“Does she now,” He cut once again, knowing it drove her up the walls whenever he did so. “Why should I believe you? To me it seems like you are jealous and making things up,” He accused with snide. He was lying through his teeth, he knew. After all, the person Ryuko was involved with was himself. But he couldn’t help it. The satisfaction he found in causing her to react was too great. He knew he’ll probably feel guilty in a few hours after the rage haze had dissipated and he’ll cry himself to sleep but at this point in time he couldn’t think straight.

“I am not! Goddammit Chat I’ve told you time and time again to stop calling me nicknames-”

“Oh I’m stopping alright!” He sneered “I’m not calling you anything other than Ladybug ever again!” He chuckled humorlessly as he hissed right in her face. “You aren’t special anymore, Ladybug.”

He realized he may have acted too cruelly when he saw her flinch, stepping away from him as if he’d electrocuted her. The rapid movement made him catch a whiff of a strange smell coming from her, but he didn’t ponder on it too much as he looked directly at her. Her expression was unreadable and Chat Noir couldn’t decide if that was better or worse. He wanted to apologize but the stubborn pride inside him rebelled at the idea. The sensible part in him knew he had gone too far and wanted to rush to her side, retract what he’d said and hug her.

He didn’t have time to choose on what to do, because she turned around and neared the edge, ready to go, yo-yo in her hand.

“Get some rest, minou,” was the only thing she said, softly, before she zoomed away, leaving him alone on the tower’s roof, her voice weighing as heavily as his heart felt.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4  | Part 5

TAGS UNDER THE CUT

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[mollymauk-teafleak]

I will love you if I never see you again (chapter one)

Huge thank you to my amazing betas, @minky-for-short for getting me into this podcast in the first place and @spiky-lesbian for letting me pass the gift on

Please consider reblogging or leaving a comment on Ao3, it means the world to me and it’s completely free! 

---

Warning: Trans pregnancy not seen but referenced, mentions of depression

Juno deeply regrets leaving Peter Nureyev in that motel room.

He told himself if was necessary. He told himself he was needed elsewhere. He told himself he was a hero.

Now, one year on, he is depressed, lonely and struggling. But Peter Nureyev is about to come back into his life, despite his own best judgement, and show him that their night together was more significant than Juno knows.

---

He wondered how much of his life he would spend taking footsteps that lead away from where he wanted to go.

Every time his heel hit the pavement, he would label himself again, burden himself with something fresh. They piled on top of each other, filling the inside of his skull until it ached.

Coward. Selfless. Idiot. Selfish. Heartless. Hero. Needed. Broken.

That more than anything else. How else to describe a person who was walking away from last night, choosing a cold and lonely dawn and a cold and empty future over everything currently fading into a sickly orange light above his head and someone to share it with. He couldn’t bear to look up and see those stars, not just because he still wasn’t used to seeing them through one eye, shifted in a way he knew they shouldn’t be, blurry and further away than he knew they really were. He was scared to turn his face to them and see the possibilities he was crushing under his boot with every step. Other planets, other worlds, other people he could be. And the two hearts he was breaking, all outlined in the stars like a needlepoint.

So he kept his eye to the pavement beneath him and continued on.

It was colder than it had any right to be, the warmth that hadn’t started as his own leeching away through his coat. It was the kind of cold that made him think he wouldn’t ever get warm again as he tried to force his mind to focus and figure out how he was going to get home.

And then back to normal. Back to who he’d been before.

The thought was the last straw needed to send the tears tumbling down his deliberately expressionless face, dripping from his chin to fall to the pavement below, as pointless and fruitless as rain on Mars.

He heard. Of course he heard.

And yet when he opened his eyes, he still hoped and he was duly punished for it, heart breaking all over again when there was no one in the bed next to him. Just rumpled sheets that had once curved around a human body and freshly emptied space.

He didn’t cry. That wasn’t how he’d been raised. Crying brought noise, attention, commotion. Crying was unprofessional. Potentially messy emotions were meant to be folded up small and filed away somewhere dark and deep for some unspecified later date, a time where he could be himself and didn’t have to be someone else. Whenever that would be.

So he didn’t cry. Instead he stared down at his own hands and told himself he was not thinking about where they had been just a few short hours ago, what they had discovered and held, what beautiful things they had moulded, along with a second pair of hands that were now just ghosts of warmth on cooling sheets. He sat and he stared, gaze hard and level until it began to blur. In that moment he lost sight of his clever, clever hands and realised how much hurt was inside him. Yawning, cavernous depths of it in his narrow chest, so easy to fall into and never be seen again.

But he couldn’t let that happen.

He told himself who he was, who he had made himself into after so much hard work. He spoke his name into the fading darkness and told himself what that meant. That was the only thing that got him out of the bed, onto his feet, back into his clothes. Back out into the world.

But under the veneer of his sharp smile and neat hair and nice clothes, he felt sick. Sick with anger, sick with a desperate need to get off this godforsaken planet and never see it’s dust and mountains and broken promises ever again, sick with grief above all else.

And he stayed sick for some time.

- A Year Later   -

Juno would say he’d had a bad day at the office. But that would imply that he’d had something that could be called a good day sometime in recent memory.

But they’d all been the same. Stumble in after very little sleep and no breakfast, beyond what had made his breath smell of stale alcohol. Give no answer to Rita’s hopeful greeting but to growl whether any new cases had come in. Look through the painfully anemic list and curl his lip at every one, muttering that they were pedestrian, boring, stale after each one. Slump listlessly in his chair and try to decide which he would take, just to get Rita off his back. Get sweaty and shivery at the thought of actually picking up the comms and speaking to a client. Realise it had gotten dark. Go home with no new cases, no progress made and a pitying look from Rita that made him want to scream.

So, yeah. A bad day. A long, long string of bad days that had no end that he could see.

And somehow the worst part of each one was walking home.

He would have stayed at the office if Rita would let him but she firmly ejected him at the end of every day, insisting she wasn’t working in the same space as someone who didn’t shower. Only the fact that she wouldn’t leave until he did actually got his feet out of the door.

It was a typical chilly Martian night, air stale and cloying as it always was under the shields. Juno always felt like he was in a terrarium, something caught by powers far above him and set down in an artificial habitat to be viewed as a source of entertainment. But, then again, it was nice not to die of radiation poisoning.

The bottled weather and stale air wasn’t the reason Juno hated walking home. It was that walking wasn’t enough of a distraction. He couldn’t figure out how to listen to things on his comms and was too proud to ask Rita, watching the people walking past was likely to get him punched in the face for looking at someone funny. Just a long, lonely walk with just his own head for company, nothing to look ahead to but a miserable night in his cramped little apartment drinking himself to sleep. A sad, lost lady alone with the shadows in the corners, thinking if he stayed still and quiet then his memories wouldn’t find him.

And he would feel that heaviness in his chest, like his lungs were turning to concrete, the heaviness that came with the words in his head.

This is what you left him for?

He’d thought Hyperion needed him, like he was some hero from a bad North Star stream. No smarter than he’d been at nine years old again with tin foil wrapped around his skinny chest, pretending to be Andromeda. In real life, heroes could shoot straight. Heros had two eyes. Heroes didn’t bellow at their secretaries for problems they’d caused themselves. Heroes weren’t afraid of anything, much less the idea of a quiet moment.

A car went past closer than it should, roaring and sudden and shaking him out of his thoughts. He didn’t know when his breathing had gotten heavy or sweat had begun dripping between his shoulder blades despite the cool night. He ran his fingers through his hair, told himself to snap out of it and pushed on, walking faster.

Juno tried desperately to occupy his mind, making lists for groceries he couldn’t afford and jobs he wouldn’t get to at the office and going over cases he solved years ago, as he walked through puddles of streetlight. But it was a flimsy shield and he knew it; just beyond the thin veneer of a busy brain sat the thick clouds of grey fog he’d glimpsed, the ones that could dull him and numb him until he drowned without ever fighting back.

He’d always managed to catch himself in time, drag himself out of the other side, get back into the office, try again even if he knew it would go the same way all the others had.

And Juno dreaded the day where he couldn’t even manage that.

He was at his apartment building now, chanting the ingredients for stew his mother would make on her good days under his breath, each step of the method taking him up one of the far too many stairs he had to climb. Step by step, no other thoughts allowed.

Juno was as far as serving the stew into two identical bowls and making sure your greedy brother didn’t get the one with extra pieces of carrot as he took out the key and slotted it into the door. It always needed a shove to get it going, the damp and general lack of attention had warped the wood. Thought it could also have been the many times it had been battered by things trying to get in or out.

So many things that Juno had long ago developed the habit of entering his apartment assuming something was going to attack him, shoulders tense, legs locked, hand on his blaster.

A habit he’d lost after becoming depressed and ever since touching the blaster he could no longer use made his chest uncomfortably tight.

So when he realised there was someone sitting on his ratty sofa, eyes trained on him and something in their hands, Juno was entirely unprepared. And very embarrassed.

“God damn-” was all he got out, hand scrabbling at his belt because if he couldn’t aim for shit anymore maybe he could at least throw it at them, before the shadow stood up and spoke in a voice he knew, a voice that had teased him and cursed him and, last he’d heard it, held him so safely and made him feel so much.

A voice he’d never thought to hear again, since he left it in a dark motel room.

“Juno Steel. I’d apologise for the theatrics but...well, it’s me.”

It was a long time before he could find any words at all, lost in picking out the things he recognised in the shadow, the slope of a nose, the wink of a golden chain in his ear, trying to figure out how it made him feel.

“Nureyev...what...I don’t understand…”

“I wouldn’t expect you to, Juno,” Nureyev stood, not as smoothly as Juno would have expected, like something was weighing him down, “I didn’t anticipate needing to talk to you again after...everything but things beyond my control have forced my hand. We need to talk.”

Juno still felt much like a rabbit staring down the lights of an eighteen wheel truck, flicking on the lights and coming to stand in the doorway, keeping a fair distance between him and Nureyev.

The man who had offered to show him the stars and he had refused.

He was holding something, something wrapped in blankets that he was clutching to his chest like it was the most precious thing in the world. That struck him as odd immediately, an odd thing in a flood of odd things, but his eye caught on it anyway.

He had seen Nureyev work a few times, he’d seen him steal keys and ancient martian masks and legendary, semi sentient getaway cars, things he wanted and things he needed. But he would never let it show when he held them, or had them under his hands. He never had this look of protectiveness, that grip in his fingers like he was going to pull a knife on anyone who tried to take it from him. Because if he showed he wanted it, then that was a vulnerability. That was a connection.

Nureyev’s voice was a practised kind of steady, like he too was surprised to find them here but wanted Juno to flinch first, “You can relax, Juno, I’m not here to kill you like some jealous spurned lover from a bad stream.”

“I never...I never thought that,” Juno said honestly, it had never crossed his mind that Nureyev was going to hurt him. Though it would be hard to argue he didn’t deserve at least a slap.

“I’m here to make a request of you, actually,” Nureyev stepped forward, so he’d tower over Juno a little more.

Though a little less than he should have. He wasn’t wearing heels. He had worn heels to rob a train that moved at a thousand miles an hour but he wasn’t wearing them now, just flat, plain shoes to stand on Juno’s peeling, cracking floor. No corset either, just black trousers and a loose black shirt that looked silky in the low streetlight coming in from outside. He was dressed so...so un-Nureyev.

“You need something from me?” Juno squared his shoulders, aware that he was staring, “What?”

Nureyev’s teeth still flashed when he spoke, in that way that had first snagged Juno nearly three years ago now, “I need you to hold something for me. Something very, very, very precious to me.”

Juno frowned, “You don’t have any other place to stash stolen goods? Don’t you have a whole network for that thing, buyers lined up before you pull a job?”

Why are you antagonising him, Steel?

Nureyev squared his thin shoulders, thinner than Juno had last seen them, “Not what I’m asking, Juno. This will go easier if you don’t jump to conclusions before I’ve even opened my mouth.”

Juno folded his arms defensively across his chest, “Look, Nureyev, whatever it is, I really don’t think I’m the one for the job. We clearly don’t...work together as well as we thought we did.”

That curled his lip, “Oh, I agree, Detective. However I don’t have a choice. You are the only person I can trust with this.”

Juno’s frown deepened, about to open his mouth and snap something back that would only turn the conversation sourer when the package of blanket in Nureyev’s arms shifted and made a noise. He started, about to demand to know if Nureyev had actually brought a cat into his apartment, when the thief turned away and spoke softly to it, moving back the soft material, voice low and soothing.

Not a cat. A child.

“Nureyev, what the hell have you done?” Juno croaked, jaw dropping.

It was clear his assumptions were wrong in a heartbeat when Nureyev rounded on him with more fury in his eyes than Juno had ever seen. More fury than he’d ever thought could be held in eyes usually so still and placid and clever. The child, blinking large dark eyes sleepily, seemed to pick up on it, face creasing unhappily and turning their face against his chest with an unhappy noise.  

“Whatever you are thinking, Detective, I suggest you stop,” he snapped, baring his teeth, “And think about what kind of man you know me to be. Whatever possessed you to leave me in that motel room, you must know I am not the kind of thief you are imagining.”

“Nureyev, easy, I...I get it,” Juno held up his hands, feeling scared of the man in front of him for the first time, “I just don’t understand…”

“Then think,” he took a step forward, “Use that brain you claim to have that I have seen so little evidence of. You can do basic mathematics, yes?”

Juno blinked, static rising loud and so distracting in his head, even as his PI’s eye looked at what little of the child he could see. Dark hair. Skin the colour of turned earth on the home most humans had never known. He couldn’t place her age exactly, all babies looked the same to him, but she was clearly brand new, barely more than a handful of months. And it had been a year since he’d last seen Peter Nureyev.

The static was deafening now and he was swaying slightly on his feet.

“Oh, god damn it…” he rasped.

“Are you there yet?” Nureyev’s voice was flat and unimpressed, “Or do you need me to draw you a diagram?”

“Nureyev, I…” Juno’s hands came up to grip his hair, a tic he’d thought he’d shaken off, “I’m so, so sorry…”

“A little late for that,” Nureyev narrows his eyes, “And unnecessary. My choice was my own. I’m not here to ask you for anything permanent, I don’t want money, I don’t want you to make an honest man of me or anything so trite. And I certainly don’t want your pity.”

Juno tried to take that in, still mostly preoccupied with the static in his head, “Then...then what…”

Nureyev’s jaw set, expression awkward for the first time, “My...my getaway from the last job I pulled wasn’t as clean as I normally manage. I allow myself some leniency for being rather...preoccupied but still. There are consequences I don’t usually have to deal with. Consequences I cannot put my daughter in the path of. I need somewhere safe for her to be while I deal with this and cut the loose ends. Somewhere safe with someone who fully understands how vital it is that no one learns of her existence. Do I make myself clear, Juno?”

Juno knew an answer was expected of him but all he could focus on was the words that had seized his heart, “A daughter?”

Nureyev looked down at the baby in his arms, something softening ever so slightly in his face, almost too small to catch, “Yes. Her name is Bianca Nureyev.”

Juno swallowed hard, still feeling ice water run through his body instead of blood, “It’s...it’s a real pretty name.”

Nureyev had an expression on his face like he was trying very hard not to care about Juno’s opinion of her name, “It is beautiful. And above all, it is precious. I trust you remember how much I value my own name? Well know that I would rather climb this very building and scream my name at the top of my lungs for all of Hyperion to hear than have my daughter be common knowledge.”

The name you trusted me with. The name you valued less than me.

Juno didn’t know what was worse, when he’d thought he’d never have Nureyev’s trust after he’d left or this, suddenly finding himself being handed it again.

“Nureyev…” Juno’s eye slid guiltily around his apartment, all the decay and mess that was so clearly visible, thrown into sharp, uncomfortable relief in the glare of the naked bulb overhead. Nureyev had been here a while, certainly long enough to see the take out containers, mostly untouched and left to rot, the case files piling up on the little used bed, the newspapers gathering dust, the empty fridge and reek of a place that hadn’t seen fresh air in too long.

His expression confirmed it for Juno, “Believe me, if there was any alternative, anyone else I could leave her with...god, if there was any way to avoid this entirely, I would take it. But she’s in danger every second she’s with me and I can’t have that. If I’m going to do this right, I need a clean break. And, ironically, the process of acquiring one is often messy.”

“I mean...I’ll try but…”

“Oh no,” his voice was a knife’s slice into darkness that hit home, “You will not try, detective. You will do this. You said you’re sorry? Then prove it. Help me make something of the ridiculous mess we got ourselves in by pulling yourself together for a month or so and making sure my daughter is safe and well until I can come back for her. It is, quite literally, the least you can do.”

Juno eyed the baby girl in Nureyev’s arms, now looking back at him with a curious awareness, like she was some kind of explosive. Long before he’d made a complete, smouldering mess of his life, the sight of young children with their parents had made him feel sickly. On the street, at the park, on the rare occasions a client would turn up with one on their hip, they gave him prickly sweats and an itchy feeling down his spine, a directionless kind of panic.

He wanted to shout at every parent he passed, everyone with a tiny hand in their own, to get in their face and yell at them do not fuck this up, do you have any idea of the damage you can do?

And the thing was he knew exactly how much damage he was capable of. After all, look what he’d managed to do without even thinking. A baby girl, looking at him with his own eyes, his own vaguely exhausted expression. Fragile as new blown glass, incomprehensible as distant stars.

But he’d wanted to be a hero, a year ago. He’d amended that recently to a smaller goal, simply wanting something other than the heavy, grey fog.

Maybe this way he could have both.

Juno held out his arms.

Whether it was relief or agony on Nureyev’s face, he couldn’t say, it was gone too quick to pin down. He simply slung a large bag from his shoulder, setting it on the floor.

“She has a week’s supply of everything in there. Clothes, diapers, her formula. You’ll need to buy more when it runs out, this was what I could gather at short notice. Also her books, clothes and toys...the cloth cat is a particular favourite, if she’s crying, she probably wants that...”

Juno nodded, “Right, yeah. No problem.” He noticed his arms were still empty.

Nureyev was hesitating, something he’d never seen him do. He was poised to pass his daughter over but had frozen halfway through, like his muscles wouldn’t move any further. There was a long pause before he sighed, pressed the gentlest of kisses to his daughter’s head and quickly eased her into Juno’s arms. Immediately, he boughed under the weight of her.

“I’ll be back, my treasure…” he was addressing her, lines of pain cracking through his mask, eyes swimming for a fraction of a second before they turned to him and turned to flint, “Keep her safe. Promise me, Juno Steel.”

“I promise,” he tried to make his voice sound sure. He failed.

Nureyev looked like he would snatch her back for a second before straightening, “Well, that will have to do.”

Like it was breaking his heart to stay any longer, he turned on his heel and went for the door without a glance back. It shut behind him with a click and Juno heard him taking the stairs, upwards rather than down, to do god knew what.

And he was left holding a baby he hadn’t known existed until a minute ago, with a brain full of static.

Like an actor who’d forgotten his lines, he rocked on his heels and shuffled awkwardly for a few moments before turning to look at Bianca, sitting uncertainty in his arms.  

“So, um...hello?” he tried, “I’m Juno.”

Bianca looked up at him with her creased little face and big, wide eyes and decided that he was definitely not Nureyev.

So she opened her little rosebud pink mouth and began to scream for all she was worth.

Juno slumped down onto his sofa.

“Yeah. Me too, kiddo.”

[tetriminoe]

Sims pride challenge

So i’m incredibly new to “simblr” and the whole sims community ( I just learned what maxis match and alpha cc were like last month skjldfj,m ) but I have followed some amazing simblrs and they seem to have a recurring theme and it’s one i’m noticing. Not enough people are making sims of color! So with the current climate, and pride month being *looks and watch and sweats* now I thought it would be a nice thing to make a challenge that brought the two together! I’m just gonna call it world challenge.

The challenge is simply, for each word on the prompt list, make an lgbt+ sim of color that coincides with that prompt. Give them a story! That’s not a requirement but it would be nice

If you get inspired you can build a family or a group of friends as well! Or even their home if inspiration really strikes!  ( It might go without saying but just in case please feel free to give them pets as well ) 

please tag it #simsworldchallenge so I and other  interested parties will see it and try and reblog this post please so it can spread!

Rules 

Any cc is allowed maxis match, mix, or alpha we welcome all kinds

Put in some effort, do not just give a white sim a tan

Avoid making their stories entirely about how hard it is being their race ( especially if you are not ) or all dower and bleak. Let’s try to go for some more positive stories if we can ( You don’t have to avoid negative elements but there is also nothing wrong with making a happy black lesbian who’s a fashion design student who likes pink, ya kno? ) 

Don’t feel like you have to do every single prompt and get every single day out! It’s all just fun to encourage people to make sims of color and celebrate pride

Your sims don’t have to be a binary gender! They can be genderfluid, demi girl, agender, gender non conforming, non binary the whole gender and sexuality spectrum you’re only limited by your imagination 

I know to some it make seem like not a big deal, but when you cannot put people of color and lgbt+ people in your escapist fantasy it tells those people your fantasy is a world without them. @savvysweet  @crypticsim @simnouveau​ are just three amazing simmers i follow that are an amazing source for custom content and references if you are struggling. They're more on the maxis match and maxis mix side but i’m sure if you’re on the alpha side you can find plenty of cc and references as well if you simply ask or look around especially in the notes of this post ( If you’re interested in being listed as someone who’s willing to help just reply here to this post ) 

So yeah!! The prompts will be under the cut, you can be as literal or as crazy as you want with them i tried going a bit vague,  and here’s a little glimpse at my attempt at the first prompt ! ! I hope you guys participate in this and have fun in making your sims world a bit more human 

1: A sunny day in a grassy field

2: Bubble gum, candy and everything sweet and delicious 

3: Apples plucked fresh from a tree

4: Beach life baby

5: A dark and cold walk through a graveyard on Halloween night

6:  A warrior not to be trifled with

7: A celebration of culture 

8: Heels clicking on the linoleum of an office floor 

9: Sparkles, lights, cameras, everything glitz and glamour 

10: Opulence, class, sophistication, a pair of shoes that cost more than your house

11: A big old dogpile of animals and fluff and fur 

12: Something new and unique and maybe a little scary? ( Try your hand at an occult sim!! There really are not enough black vampires ) 

13: Parenthood, tired, running after little ones through a minefield of toys 

14: Wedded bliss, lace and dappling, veils and suits of sleek silk

15: Dirty broken fingernails, the smell of herbs and soil, and colorful blooming flowers everywhere

16: When did you arrive in strangerville? What’s your name and how long have you been here?

17: Magic and spells and wonder, look around at the lights and feel the pure magic of the world surrounding you 

18: Free space! Make whatever works for you just make sure they’re a sim of color!

19: Open the nearest book to a random page and a random line. Try your VERY BEST to create a sim based on that sentence ( pssst if you get a bad one, you can try again I won’t judge you )

20: Find your very favorite song, with powerful words and lines that speak to you and then make a sim based around your favorite powerful line 

21: Black fabric, black nails, black hearts show your interpretation and spin of goth

22: Was that a mermaid?! Hah, no i’m being silly, must have just been ... a manatee or something .. yeah - with, florescent skin . . 

23: Boiling water, aromatic spices, flavors that never cease to make you close your eyes and go “Mmmm”

24: Pages turning, the dusky smell of old books, someone awkwardly clears their throat in the silence as pens scribble across paper and keyboards click

25: Sweat, blood, tears, hard work and strong bodies the smell of a adrenaline and people with something to prove 

26: Healing, soft, gentle, kind eyes and kinder touch

27: neon lights, late night snack runs, loitering in the parking lot of the seven 11 at two am, passing smell of cigarette smoke, a sense of floaty unreality at the witching hour

28: Seasonal bliss, the time of year that brings the most joy and calm and general delight 

29: Off the grid, water filtration, wind and rain a true green warrior

[moonshinelouis-archive]

it’s still 2019 for me shush

i have to say, i was not planning on making one of these at all. but then i was tagged in quite a few, and it made me realise just how many people i’ve come in contact with due to tumblr, and how much you deserve to know you’re loved. 

if harry had asked me, “do you know who you are?” in the beginning of the year, i would’ve cried. i was kind of giving up. i had no motivation. i had one friend dragging my entire life down and straining literally all my relationships, and it took me until the first week of december, this month, to rid myself of them, and even so, she won’t be completely gone for another whole year. but that’s okay. i’m stronger now. 

so, really, this year was all about getting rid of the toxic in the community. i have, like, two irl friends rn, if that, but at least they’re good ones. online, too, i’ve learned that it’s okay not to interact with certain people if they’re bad for my health. and that it’s okay if other people don’t like me, because some rando’s opinion doesn’t matter. 

whether we really don’t know each other or you’ve got my phone number, whether i’ve never seen your url or if it’s been in my messages this entire year, or even if you’ve kudo’d or commented on a fic or reblogged a fic of mine -- thank you for participating in my life this year. 

@michael-cliffords-peacock -- neely, i can’t believe our luck. we were literally just shitposting at each other, and now we message every day and we’ll see each other in july. never has a dumbass lesbian post been as successful! whether we’re watching lesbian sm*t from thousands of miles away at the same time or having intricate discussions about things that don’t matter 90% of the time, i love you. you have been a bright spot in my life for months now, and i can’t wait to see you irl and hug you and hear your voice in person !!

@altarrias -- aani, i’m sorry to have made our first conversation such a weird one, but i’m really glad that did happen because it got me to you. ilysm; i love talking to you. 

@loverpiano -- taty, we have been actually talking for little more than a week, but you’re already so important to me!! i know i said it all the time, but your purity and the way you’re so genuinely nice, without forcing it, is so refreshing. i hope some day you come to seattle & visit me !!

@cheerleaderharry -- elsa, i’m not sure why we didn’t talk much before and how and when that changed, exactly, but whenever i see you in my notifications i smile. ilysm and you have no idea how much you’ve influenced me this year; you’re part of those special people who make me more confident and care less for unimportant things. 

@girasolvol6 -- joana, we don’t talk that much, but you, too, have that sincere kindness that makes me wobbly in the knees. thank you for brightening my year!! i’m terrible with sweetness (this post is being very difficult) but i hope i have been a bright spot in your year too. or at least not an dull one. 

@youandicouldliveforever -- lee !!! i know you’ve been through a lot this year and you’re just so strong. you power through with positive (shit)posts and adorable lgbt moments. we don’t talk ~that much but you light up my dash and i hope 2020 is a great year for you. 

and other people with whom i’ve talked to this year -- @thepeacering @dykes4louis @lovedtour @darkrainbowlouis @emohl @girlalmighty @sunlightbi @girlalmightys @wallsau @adoreyouhalsey @prettygfharry @wallsvinyl @prncspark @niallstardust @spice-vanilla @xoulmates @angelharry @enbyliam @givelouve @brodferd and gillian, who is no longer on tumblr -- you have all been a droplet of happiness in my life, whether we talked on a rainy day or not. also, i love seeing you on my dash!!

and there are loads of other mutuals and people i follow and people who’ve sent me asks and people who’ve read my fics, or connected with me in some other way -- and i hope your 2020 is the best year of your life so far. i wish everyone who sees this a great life. you deserve it. i want to thank every one of you who has made contact with me this year for my best year so far.

all the love.