#hopefully. no one is too wildly out of character
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thymejot · 2 days ago
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About your meta, I guess the thing is if you believe that Word Of God is canon or not. Jac Schaeffer said that Agatha was thinking she wanted to save Billy and kiss Rio and that she never wanted to bring Nicholas back. For me it’s not canon unless I like what they say 😝 but the fun of reading meta is to see everyone’s sometimes wildly different takes and in the end of the day people can think anything they want because we all bring our preferences, our bias and even our traumas to it
I believe Agatha truly loved Rio, I believe there was considerable time in their lives that they weren’t toxic to each other in any way and I believe that aren’t done, they still have centuries to work out their issues but I know there are plenty of fans that don’t believe in any if that. who’s right, who’s wrong I don’t think anyone can know and as long as everyone is respectful it’s all good. I just hope this fandom continues to be fun for a long time cause we all need the distraction
It is what I love about shows like this. Honestly, I dont think there is a right or wrong way to look at things.
Like you say, everyone has their own bias and will project onto characters. I really enjoy it when people want to have discussions about the things I love. I really appreciate you wanting to talk about this with me.
And the fact that while you may disagree with me on some points, you are not mean about it and are challenging me to look at things from a different perspective. So, thank you.
While I find it interesting to read up on writers intent, I don't ever take it as gospel unless it is there on screen. Between now and a potential next project with these characters, the writers could have evolved their ideas or changed their own interpretation of the characters. So I try not to hold too tightly to what they say.
Instead, I like to take what I have seen on the screen. The characters have shown us who they are with word, action, and deed. Every choice they have made forms who they are. A show not tell approach if you will.
I agree with you, Rio and Agatha love each other deeply. There was a time that it was far less toxic, and there may come a time when that is true once more.
I want to see them in all of their evolutions and iterations.
I want to see Agatha, the mentor. She has never been one to pull her verbal punches, so she won't take any nonsense. Her dynamic with Billy is so good that I would like to see that explored more.
I want to see Billy explore his powers, find his brother, and grow up a little more without being hardened by the world.
I want to see Jen flourish as she reaquaints herself with her power once more. Still snarky but less brittle. If she ever sees Agatha and Teen, have her just turn around and get the fuck away from them. Because they only lead to death.
In the end, though, my opinion is just one in a sea of thousands. I will write some ridiculous fanfics to get this show out of my system. Maybe make them a bit too oc for my own liking. Hopefully, I will learn from that and get better.
I just want to have fun with things. I don't want to hurt anyone with things I post unless it is superficial emotional damage (I eat that shit up). I hope you keep having fun with it, too.
In the end, as much as it pains me to admit it, these are not real people. So why not just go buck wild with our imaginations and throw them in every conceivable scenario. It's not like it will hurt anyone, so why not.
Feel free to chat with me any time
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tinydragondreamer · 10 months ago
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oopsies i got inspired by this post to make personal headcanons of roland's joke-flirting with the patron librarians because these have begun haunting my sleep
Firstly, the ones that are very Similar in their reactions:
Angela and Yesod: They are Exasperated. "Roland can you stop talking. For ONE SECOND." (no >:3c). I think Angela responds Once in a very snarky sarcastic way in hopes that it will get him to Shut Up but regrets it INSTANTLY because he WILL double down For The Bit.
Yesod adjusts his tie again (someone's gotta enforce workplace dress code) and roland's like "damn at least buy me dinner first" and yesod gives him a withering look like "i am not lowering myself to your level"
Next is Malkuth and Hod: They're friendly but a little distant about it. There's a clear boundary line and Roland respects that. Malkuth might roll her eyes and go "flattery won't get you anywhere" at times, but they both tend to give very genuine compliments and affirmations in response and while their reactions are definitely not the most Amusing/Entertaining to roland he really appreciates the emotional support
Aaaand Netzach and Chesed are the ones i feel would be the most reciprocating(? idk it feels weird to use that word but i can't think of a better one right now) of the joke flirting. lots of back and forth banter and a very "cheers i'll drink to that" energy. Very chill vibes.
Tiphereth: No. He jokes around with her in a different way, very bastard big brother energy. The type of person who would use you as an arm rest. A menace.
Gebura: He attempts once to joke-flirt with her but she shoots him down with "flattered, but i'm a lesbian" and he's like "cool, understood. so like. women am i right." and that's his workplace bonding attempt with gebura. i think she finds it funny in a "he's a little confused but he's got the spirit" way.
Binah: She'd find it amusing. As a reward for entertaining her she psychoanalyzes him and he's like "ah shit retreat retreat retreat." She finds this just as amusing, this is Her workplace bonding activity now.
Hokma: I find it kind of hard to pin down how Roland and Hokma would interact considering they do so little interacting in-game (Hokma's floor interactions being reserved for Angela for Obvious Reasons). I think like Binah he'd be bemused by Roland's attempts, but like Malkuth and Hod he'd have a very clear-cut boundary line where he's friendly about it, But he's also not necessarily going to play along. So he wouldn't really be the most entertaining and Roland would respect that i think...
...Except there's also the Live Angela Reaction. her bff is flirting with her dad what the fuck??????????? roland of course finds this hilarious.
imagine the power he could wield with the magic words "L+ratio+I fucked your dad" it would never happen, but sometimes he just likes to imagine having the power to able to win any argument with angela.
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miraculouslbcnreactions · 2 months ago
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Since you've mentioned Scarlet Lady in one of your posts, what's your opinion on it?
I've mentioned before that I'm a big Scarlet Lady fan, which is the only reason that I'm comfortable answering asks like this one. I don't publicly criticize the content of hobby creators. That's wildly inappropriate! Punch up, not down.
The linked post was a general discussion of the adaptation process and how @zoe-oneesama did a fantastic job, so for this one, I'm just going to do some general gushing because I do actually like praising and enjoying things!
Scarlet Lady's chosen format (comic) allows it to have this wonderful conversation with canon where it can rely on the framework of canon to tell it's own story while also using canon for jokes and meta commentary. This means that Scarlet Lady is about as close as fan content can get to a direct reboot because it's able to have moments like this one from the comic's first post:
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[Image description: Adrien standing in his room after transforming into Chat Noir for the first time. He is beaming and his eyes are shining with excitement as he exclaims, "This is gonna be awesome!"]
A single picture that communicates everything we need to know about Adrien getting his miraculous. When I've done this same thing in fanfic, I had to write out the full scene because that's how novels work. You have to give the full picture. With a comic, you can just quickly acknowledge this thing that we all already know and then move on to the new stuff. A picture really is worth a thousand words! (Or, in my case, more like two thousand...)
This allows Zoe to keep the same akumas that we get in canon without her story feeling like a boring rehash because she can focus on what's different in her version. A novelization of the same content would have to show both the stuff that stays the same and the stuff that changes for it to be coherent. That's a lot less fun to read and write. It's why I basically never revisit canon akumas in my own stuff. It's just too derivative for the written word.
This is one of the big reasons that I loved Scarlet Lady. Because it was able to have that more directly conversation with canon, it was able to take canon and say, "hey, why don't we embrace the tone that you established in season one and retell the story with that vibe?" That's something that I desperately wanted to see, but that is totally unsuited to my chosen artistic form. It couldn't be a novel. It had to be a comic.
If you want to know what a true formula show version of Miraculous would look like, Scarlet Lady is it. It does everything that Miraculous should have done:
Sticks to a lighthearted tone where nothing is ever super serious
Keeps Gabriel entirely unsympathetic
Has slow character development and background hints at a bigger plot as the only serial elements, allowing the individual episodes to be their own story while never feeling incomplete or rushed
Allows characters other than Marinette to shine while keeping Marinette as the clear main character
Makes Adrien narratively important
MAKES THE LOVE SQUARE CUTE SO I CAN ACTUALLY SHIP IT
Understands that Lila and Chloe can't coexist as antagonists
Reverses the love square, which is the best way to tell their story. Yes, I will die on my "love diamond" hill. It's a good hill. Come join me. I'll bring cookies.
I could keep going, but you hopefully get my point. While Scarlet Lady is certainly not the only way to do a formula version of canon, it's proof that a formula version does work! You don't have to go the serious route for Miraculous to be successful.
I want to take some time to gush about the ending, but I don't want to spoil it, so I'll put that gushing under a "read more" in case anyone hasn't seen it. I'll finish out this less spoilerish section with this:
I feel like some people are surprised when they learn that I love Scarlet Lady because - as some of you have probably picked up - it is quite different from my ideal version of canon. I'm not sure why that would stop me from enjoying a thing, though. It's important to remember that our personal ideals are not the only way to tell a good story. There are lots of ways to take what canon gave us and make something wonderful! It's part of the reason that I enjoy being in a fandom.
If I only wanted to see my ideal take on canon, then I'd stick to writing/imagining my own stories. But I don't want that! I like seeing alternate takes, too. Scarlet Lady is one of my personal favorites. It's completely different from anything that I'd ever think to write and that's why I'm so glad that it exists! I like being entertained just as much as I like creating my own entertainment and I don't want to only read stories that look like something I'd write. That's boring!
Spoilers below:
I've mentioned before that there are many, many ways to properly handle Chloe's character and Zoe did such a good job with her take on that! Chloe isn't absolved of all the things she did wrong, but she's also treated as a young woman with the ability to change.
While the comic bares the name of Chloe's alter ego, she was the never the main character. She never went on a journey. The story kept her to her shallow season-one self: a petty brat who just wanted attention. It did this because that's who Chloe was in canon and who Chloe needed to be for the comic to work.
The first time we see any complexity from Chloe is in the comic's final few episodes, which was absolutely the right call for Zoe to make! In a recent post, I talked about how the end of a formula show is the only time when you can break the formula in catastrophic ways and that's what Zoe did. She kept Chloe static until it was time to end the story and that's when the formula breaks. That's when Chloe gets depth because, once she has depth, the formula doesn't work.
That depth is not used to redeem Chloe, but to show us that there's hope for Chloe. That this petty brat who we've been dealing with has some serious issues and needs help. Help that she's going to get far away from the people that she's hurt because her issues aren't an excuse for what she's done. They don't erase the harm that she caused. At the same time, understanding her issues makes us hope that she can be better now and Scarlet Lady took a moment to give us that hope. To show us the START of Chloe's true story.
That is the kind of ending that I have wanted to see in so many properties!!! It was so wonderful to finally get one that did this right. A story that understood that full redemption to the team and damnation to death/suffering are extremes on a scale of possibilities. You don't have to go to extremes! You can fall in the middle and the middle is a perfect, natural place for Chloe to land in this kind of story. Fully redeeming or even fully damning Chloe simply doesn't work in lighthearted formula content. It's too big a lift as canon has already demonstrated.
I also loved Zoe's take on Emilie. I've mentioned that I don't like evil Emilie in part because it makes her revival feel like the start of a new story. She's back and she'd bad, so we have to take her down now! But I don't want that. I want the story to end when Gabriel is stopped. Zoe does this by giving us an Emilie that is another perfect middle ground. She matches canon's uncomfortable implications without feeling like a true villain who is a threat to society.
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darantha · 2 years ago
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How to Spot AI images (Hopefully)
So, I did see GailyNovelry's excellent post on this (Link here), but saw that there also were some confusion and they were using a environment image as their example, so I thought I'd do a breakdown that was more character centric.
The key thing with AI images is that the program does not know what it is making. And, arguably, they thrive on that we are currently conditioned to not really look at things for too long before we hit that engagement button and/or just scroll onwards to whatever next the algorithm feeds us.
It's hard to fight that urge, I know, but if you just pause and look, you'll soon start spotting things that just do not make sense, and I don't just mean that the pretty booby elven fighter is sporting seven fingers on one hand. Those are the obvious things. I'll try to cover the general sort of artefacts that tend to tip me off to the fact that a image is generated rather than actually hand-made by someone making informed design decisions as opposed to trust what amounts to RNG. I think this is important as there's those who do not tag their images as AI generated, and try to scam people with commissions.
And, as the saying goes... The devil is in the details.
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To start with I picked this image from deviantuser CeiEllem. At first glance, it looks... very impressive. Sharp looking elf lady with killer hair. 10/10 wish I could rock that haircolour.
But, it is AI generated. Aside from the general tell that is this hyper rendered, near photorealistic style that AI images often have, there's a lot of details that tips it off to just not having been made by a human who actually made the decisions.
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Since AI is just working off patterns and not actual decisions, things like hair is a immediate giveaway that you're looking at a AI image.
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(Deviantart users: daralyth, DavidZarn and lunayokai)
In all these three images you can see just how hair whisps off into weird nonsense shapes or even meld into the background or clothing. Because, again, the AI doesn't know what its doing, just working with shapes. Similarly, background elements that just stop and start randomly is a dead giveaway, like the tail in the first image.
As I've said, details is the key to spotting these images, and another giveaway is the sheer density of details that is just noise.
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This is from users Rigtorok7, and the details are so noisy, absolutely miniscule in scale, and hypersharp, yet have no actual design to them. Artists imply details all the time. We don't render out every single nook and crevice, and since we actually know what we want the viewer to look at, we'll pull back and simplify things so you don't want to look at the big chunk of very noisy hair ornament or necklace instead of the face of the character.
For comparison, this is how it looks when I, personally, indulge in doing 'overdetailing' of something (because I am forever weak for painting jewelry).
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BUT I want to stress that the key here isn't that detailing equals AI generated. The key is the lack of design choices IN the details. There's a lot of artists out there, and someone painting out all those nooks and crannies in something doesn't mean they are a AI user. This painting by Leighton is super detailed but you see the intent with all the details. You have a focus with the people in the boat and secondary read of the figure in the door, where the details are a lot more implied and less sharp.
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AI can't do that, because AI isn't making any decisions.
I couldn't find any good example once I went looking, but if you're into fantasy art: look for people just holding weird 'swords'.
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AI is rapidly evolving, so who knows how much this'll help in 3 months, but for now, this is how I spot things.
But, in the end, the biggest giveaway that someone is using an AI generator is that they've filled up page after page on deviantart/artstation/wherever in the past like... six to nine months, and often swing between wildly different styles. If you're unsure, look up the source of a image. Another clue can be generic 'untitled' or just 'elf lady' sort of titles, since someone uploading 30 images a week isn't going to make unique titles for each image.
Also, commissioners. ... you should ALWAYS get a sketch and progress image from a artist that you hire. My art directors would have my head on a plate if I didn't send them a rough sketch and progress shot before finalising the image.
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yelenaslyubov · 10 months ago
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Twin Size Mattress (yelena belova university AU)
main masterlist || yelena belova || requests
a/n: heyyyy everyone! well i kept my promise one way or another and i finally have a piece written for you all! i’m sorry if it’s not up to par compared to my other stories, but it’s been a while and i feel a little rusty when it comes to this type of thing. i wanted to try something different for this time around and i think i accomplished that. also, let me know if you guys like the university AU aspect of this bc i might just be able to continue it a little bit (i say maybe loosely lol). in addition, i added a fun little moment of adding the outfits the characters would be wearing!! i hope you guys enjoy this new story and hopefully there will be more to come! it’s good to be back🥹🥹i hope to see more of you soon🫶
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ pairing: yelena belova (AU) x reader
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ warnings: MINORS DNI (18+) smut, fingering, oral, dom!reader, mentions of alcohol, language
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ description: you and yelena have been going to college together for the past couple years. when a college football game commences, you and yelena spend the day together and finish it off with a bang
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count: 3.7k
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ yelena’s outfit
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ reader’s outfit
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//
The pressing weight of your backpack dug into your shoulders as you quickly made your way to Yale’s school of art. Though your major was in English, you had connections that allowed you to use the photography facilities located elsewhere. Your bag was full of books, film equipment, and the negatives that you were anxious to develop.
It was college game day, the Harvard vs. Yale game to be more specific, so shoving through blue and red crowds of students was at the bottom of your list. Your trip to the dark room had to be short because even though you hated the idea of all things sports, you felt that tradition outweighed your personal grievances.
As you shut the door to the room and found yourself alone with the quiet, red space, your mind seemed to lighten. The pictures you had brought with you made their way out of your bag and into the developing process. You went through the usual motions until you hung them up to dry. Before you were beautiful headshots and silhouettes of your roommate, Yelena.
While most were taken with the consent of Yelena, there were some too extraordinary to possibly miss out on. The red hues accentuated the curves you so desperately longed to stroke. Of course, this information was unbeknownst to her.
She was the reason why you were so anxious to develop the pictures. Looking through the lense that wonderful day made you so much more excited to see them all finished. The day had been an exciting one. During the summer before the two of you went back to school you had a day at the beach. The weather was perfect, and she was perfect. She wore this lilac swim set that complimented her blonde hair and summer kissed skin so well you thought you would never be able to tear your eyes away from her.
As you went through each picture of her smiling, laughing, and being her usual self you came across the pictures that you tried so hard not to take. Your desire got the better part of you at this moment. The pictures arose of her laying belly down on her towel, a perfect view of her toned back paired with her other curves you could barely speak of. It was hard not to think about that day without becoming wildly sad that she had no idea you liked her with everything inside you.
These few intimate pictures would go where the rest of them are; hidden away in your journal. It was easier this way because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship that you valued so much. But what if she felt the same? You pulled yourself out of your delusions or else you might start to have hope.
She must have read your mind because your phone started ringing and as you pulled it out of your bag, Yelena’s face was vibrating on your screen.
“Hello?” you answered
“Where are you? You better not still be in that stupid dark room!” The sound of massive crowds were loud on the other side of the phone, but your voice drowned out every noise that could be taking place.
“Ha, funny story…”
“Seriously! The game starts soon, y/n. Hurry!”
“You miss me or something, Belova?”
She chuckled once. “And if I did?”
There was silence on your end because your one moment of bravery was already spent, leaving you speechless. “Uhm I’ll start heading your way right now. I should only be about 15 minutes out.”
“Perfect, I’ll save you a seat!”
“Thanks, Lena. Love you, bye,” you said naturally.
It was only then did you realize the words that slipped out of your mouth. Love you, really? You hoped that she thought it wasn’t how you really meant it.
After your stupid mistake, you took your pictures, tucked them away in your journal, and took off out of the building. The day was sunny but the fall crisp in the air took the edge off of the heat from the sun. Even from far away you could hear the triumph of the marching band playing their game day songs. Though your dislike of sports was one thing, there was a certain feeling you got on days like this; the music, the people, the adrenaline, that really made you succumb to the American tradition.
Finding Yelena in the crowd would be the easy part, the hard part would be keeping your eyes off her the entire afternoon. Luckily, she generally picked the same area each game day to sit so it wouldn’t be an extreme challenge to spot her out.
Your suspicion came true when you saw her jumping up and down a few aisles up from the front towards the 40 yard line. She was dressed in her usual Yelena chic, but with a hint of school spirit. You smiled to yourself at her excitement for the game and waited to see if she noticed you walking up to greet her.
“You’re here!” she yelled. She shuffled through other people on her row and fell into your arms. The strong smell of her cologne filled your nose and warmed your heart. You hugged her tightly back and squeezed the leather jacket that was draped around her. “You almost missed the game,” she whined.
“Lena, kickoff hasn’t even started, but I see that hasn’t stopped you from starting early.” You eyed the cold beer she had in her Yale koozie.
“Oh hush and let me be. Now get in there so we can watch.” As you were sneaking past other students Yelena tapped you on the ass and giggled. This was nothing unusual for Yelena, but each time she did it, it made your cheeks glow red.
The two of you settled into your places in the stadium surrounded by a couple of your friends and watched the game begin. The first half of the game was intense with each team up and down on scores. When the buzzer sounded to notify it was halftime everyone seemed to sigh in relief. The crowds started to shuffle again to take a quick intermission before the second half.
“So y/n, what photos were you able to get this time?” Yelena asked.
It was the question you were avoiding answering. If you pulled out the few you wanted to show her, the rest you spent your time hiding would be exposed as well.
“Oh they weren’t anything important, just a couple rolls I hadn’t developed yet.” You tried to play it cool not to give it away.
“Everything of yours is important to me.” Her saying that just made it so much harder to keep them all a secret. “Come on, please show me.”
She gave you her best pouty face and it was so unfortunate that it worked. You rolled your eyes and tried to open the journal in your bag so you could find the pictures you wanted her to see. Once they were all collected you passed them over to her and her face lit up.
“The day at the beach! I remember these.” She flipped through them with a grin on her face. She laughed when the picture of you popped up with your pants soaking yet from the ocean waves. “You were so pissed.”
“Pissed is an understatement,” you added. She smiled up at you and your stomach was tied up in knots. You weren’t sure whether it was the dimples that just so sneakily showed up, her rosy lips, or the bright green eyes that you could finally see without her sunglasses getting in the way.
“These are so amazing— you’re amazing. I need copies of these,” she begged.
“Anything for you,” you smiled.
“Anything?” Yelena smirked.
Your cheeks darkened red. “Shut up.” You shoved her a little with your shoulder.
By the time you showed all your creations off to Yelena the second half of the game was in full swing.
The second was more intense than the first due to Yale being behind for most of the game. Yelena was starting to become too anxious for your liking, and you hoped for her sake that you guys could pull out the win. There was a minute left on the clock and Yelena practically had your arm in a chokehold.
“Fucking run the ball, jackass!” Yelena yelled.
“Hey now, you wanna simmer down a little for me?” you asked, hoping to calm her down a bit.
She chuckled a little and leaned into your arm more. “Sorry, sorry. Anything for you,” she mocked from your previous words.
She quickly turned her head back so she could enjoy the last minute of the game. Her grip only became tighter around your arm as the clock ticked down to the wire. The whistle sounded to indicate that Yale called for a timeout. They needed to sort out their plans if they were going to try and pull out this win. They were down 28-24 with only around 30 seconds to go.
Once they were back in the game the crowd went wild, Yelena included. Number 13 got a hold of the ball and ran all the way to the end zone for a touchdown. Yelena screamed like she never had before and threw her hands up in the air. You cheered along with her at your school’s win. Yelena jumped into your arms out of excitement and you held her tightly as you swept her up in the air.
“We did it, Lena!” you cheered.
She found her footing back on the ground and she grabbed your face and looked into your eyes. “We did it!” The pure shock on your face made her recoil back a bit which resulted in her having matching cheeks just like yourself. “Uh- I- I’m sorry.”
“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong,” you smiled. “Let’s just get out of here before we’re all packed in.”
You said goodbye to your friends right before a Yelena grabbed your hand to lead you through the crowd. You knew it meant nothing, but having your hand in hers was a dream come true.
When you had made it out of the crowd, it seemed as though the two of you forgot you were still linked together. You quickly broke it off before she could say anything about it.
“So, are we going to keep walking with nowhere to go or are you taking me out?” Yelena smirked.
“Am I what?” you questioned.
“You really are worked up today.” Yelena laughed, but you knew it was true and you didn’t know how else to hide it.
“Why don’t we go back to my dorm? My roommate isn’t there like usual so we could watch a movie or something?”
“Do you have popcorn?” she asked and you nodded. “Then it’s a deal.”
The two of you talked and laughed on the walk to your dorm. Like usual, Yelena made it so difficult to not stare at her. She had such a unique confidence that drew you deeper and deeper into her presence. The way she carried herself was like no other.
When you made it into your room Yelena immediately started searching for your snacks that you kept in the drawers under your bed. You set your things down on your desk and sat down in your chair.
“Do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes?” Yelena asked.
“I don’t know why you even ask anymore, Lena. Your closet consists of half of my clothes anyway,” you laughed.
She rolled her eyes and started taking her clothes off to change. Trying not to watch her change was not easy to come by. You turned around in your chair and pretended to unload your back from the day. What Yelena didn’t know is that your mirror allowed the perfect angle to see different parts of her.
What really got you was the matching black bra and underwear that revealed itself as she took her clothes off. This surprise caused you to knock a few things off your desk in the process, one of them being your journal. Naturally, Yelena turned around to try and help.
“What did you do, get angry and throw things off the desk?” Yelena laughed. It was awful timing to have other pictures that Yelena did not see poking out of your journal. “What are these?”
“Oh, you don’t have to-”
“Y/n, what are these?”
“Just pictures…”
Yelena stared at you puzzlingly as she picked up the journal off the floor and opened it to reveal the hidden pictures inside. Her brows furrowed as she inspected each one in great detail.
“Y/n, these are…so beautiful.”
You stood there staring down at the pictures or anywhere else in the room, just so you didn’t have to look at her.
“Why didn’t you show me these?” Yelena’s voice was softer now, more gentle. “Y/n?”
“I-I don’t know… I guess I thought you would think it was weird,” you replied shyly.
“Why would it be weird?”
Shit. If you told her why then she would know how you felt, but if you say nothing at all that’s not any better. You were stuck.
“I don’t know…”
She searched your face from any indication of an explanation. There was so much happening that you almost forgot Yelena was half naked.
“These are beautiful.”
“Only because you’re in them,” you bravely said.
Yelena blushed, something you didn’t see very often. “Damn y/l/n, you sure do know the way to my heart.”
“I’m serious.” You felt like your world had stopped at the thought of where this was going. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, Yelena. How could I not take those pictures that day?”
Yelena was quiet now. You weren’t sure whether this was good or bad. You were tired of being subtle, especially now that you had her right where you wanted her.
“I don’t know what to say,” Yelena said. Her eyes were full of something you hadn’t seen before.
You looked at her for a moment trying to build up your confidence one last time because you knew if you didn’t then you would never be able to do this.
“For once Belova, I would love it if you said nothing at all.” You stepped closer so you could delicately slide your hands up behind her neck. She looked taken off guard, but she definitely was not fighting it. When Yelena took her hands and placed them around the straps of your overalls and pulled you closer so you were face to face, you knew she might’ve wanted this just as much as you.
“Just kiss me already,” she whispered close enough you could feel the breath on your lips. With her words you threw your lips against hers in a kiss that you waited much too long for. Your lips moved against hers as your hands were tangled in her blonde waves. Yelena pulled and grabbed at anything on you just to make you even closer to one another.
You shifted your position to try and push yourself against Yelena so that she may lean against the bed. You knew exactly what your intentions were as of now, but you were not sure how Yelena would feel about it.
The first brush of her tongue against yours sent shivers down your spine and you weren’t sure if she heard your quiet moan or not. You saved your restraint for so many months, so now there was nothing holding you back. Your lips traveled away from hers to down her soft neck. You placed rough and hungry kisses along the nape of her neck and you could tell just by her demeanor that she was having a hard time keeping quiet.
“Uhm, what about your roommate?” Yelena asked in between heavy breaths
“What about them?”
“What if they, you know, walk in?” You must have found a sweet spot on her neck because her question ended with a whine.
“They’re never here.”
“But what if-”
“Just shut up already,” you said.
You smiled against her lips as you threw her shoulders down on the bed as gently as you could. It was hard to take things slow when you had been craving exactly this for far too long.
As your hungry lips continued to move against Yelena’s, you found your fingers playing with the band of her underwear. Your fingers traced all along the skin that was covered.
“I want to see every part of you that was hiding in these photos,” you said. Your mind went back to the day you took those sexy pictures of her and it made you even more desperate for what was hiding beneath Yelena’s garments.
“I just need you to touch me,” Yelena said, breathless. “Please touch me.”
You were quick to pull down her panties to reveal a sight you never thought you would have the pleasure of seeing. Even the panties that brushed against her pussy made her wince in pleasure.
“Please,” begged Yelena.
After undressing her bottom, in one swift motion you unhooked her bra.
“You want me to touch you like this?”
You placed your lips around one of her nipples as you watched her head fall into the bed. Your tongue made its way to circle around her nipple, slowly building up her desire.
Without thinking, you slightly tugged on her nipple with your teeth. Yelena moaned just loud enough for you to hear. It was the most beautiful sound that you had been dying to hear since you met her.
You wanted to move on further.
“Or I could maybe touch you like this?”
Your hand was almost shaking as it made its way down to get center. Your fingers slowly but surely made small circles on her clit. Now, Yelena was panting with lust and trying to keep quiet despite what you wanted.
“Fuck, Lena. You’re so wet.” You couldn’t help yourself from pointing out the obvious. The wetness that covered her only made yours grow.
Yelena had her mouth covered now, most likely paranoid that others would hear her like she had said earlier.
“I want to hear you,” you demanded.
Yelena was moaning softly through her hand now, a reaction to your words.
“Be a good girl and take your hand away from your mouth. I want to hear you.”
She did as you wished and removed her hand. The hand that previously resided over her mouth was now gripped onto the bed.
You took a minute to admire her before moving on further. Her body was even more gorgeous than you could’ve ever imagined. Her toned arms that held on so tightly to the bed, her curves that wavered like the ocean down her body, and her perfectly kissed skin, just how you liked it.
“Maybe you want me to touch you… like this?”
You went even further and slowly slipped your fingers inside her pussy. As you sunk your fingers deep inside her, Yelena became even more worked up.
“Oh fuck,” she moaned. “Please keep going. It feels so good.”
Seeing Yelena drown in the pleasure of your fingers inside her was something you never thought you would live to see.
“You feel so good, baby.” Yelena seemed to like the name because she let out a long whine. “Good girl. Be louder for me.”
You loved the power you had over her in such a short amount of time.
The pace of your fingers stayed quite steady now. Yelena moaned with each stroke that went deeper in her pretty pussy. There was one more thing that you longed to do before she reached her limit.
���You want me to touch you like this, baby?”
Finally, with your fingers still keeping a rhythm inside her, you lowered yourself down on the bed so that you could taste her.
Your tongue made its way to make contact with her clit. Yelena was the loudest now, and with her noise came her restless body. Much like her, you were just as overcome with pleasure.
Her hips bucked into your face with each increasing second. Your tongue explored every single part of her, almost as if you would never get to do it again. Your fingers sped up now that you could tell she was getting closer.
“Holy fuck, right there,” Yelena moaned. “Keep going, I’m so close.”
“Good job, baby,” you murmured. “I want you to cum around my fingers.”
Your words only sped up the process more. Her hips moved even faster which made it hard for you to keep your pace. Your tongue and fingers moved rapidly as she started to reach the peak of her climax
“I’m gonna cum baby,” Yelena said breathlessly.
All at once, Yelena let out a loud stream of moans that you were sure echoed through the hall in your dorm. You didn’t care. You were happy to have her all to yourself, and now, everyone knew it too.
“Good girl, let it all out,” you praised her.
Yelena laid there on your bed to try and catch her breath. You couldn’t help but watch the result of your doings as she looked so worked up.
You took your last opportunity to soak her body in by kissing all the way up her thighs, stomach, chest, and face. Yelena seemed to be hiding her face a bit, most definitely different from her usual demeanor.
You moved her hand that shielded her face. “You okay?”
She gave a thumbs up
“Does that mean it felt okay?”
She had a surprised look on her face. “The entire hall heard me and you think it didn’t feel good?!”
You laughed. “Just checking.”
You both laid next to each other for a while in silence before Yelena spoke up.
“So…how long have you felt this way?”
“When did you start school here?”
“Uhm…two years ago?”
“Then two years.”
Yelena looked over at you. “Really?”
“Really,” you nodded. “How could I not, just look at you.” Yelena smiled at your words.
“Well, I’ve worked up an appetite after all that fun. What do you say we make some popcorn and watch a movie and pretend like no one heard all of that?”
“That sounds perfect to me.”
The two of you spent the rest of the night in each other’s company talking and reveling in the day’s events. You laid in bed thinking about how happy you were to have taken those pictures that day on the beach.
//
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Ppppft!!! Elliot casually entering in Judd's room at the worst possible moments, yes please!! I like to think that Judd put all those signs in his door mainly because of his dad 🤣 Elliot and Diane embarrassing Judd is everything i need in this life, hopefully in front of his crush lol 😈
This has been stuck in my head literally the whole week— it’s too good not to write seriously 🤭
Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of sex? Like a lot of mentions, also masturbation, also cockblocking lol, but as I keep saying this is big mouth fanfic what do you expect, Nick and Jessi being jealous boggles my brain, it’s too funny, Elliot Birch is an actual menace, he also has no regards for privacy, it’s his house so he can enter whatever room he wants ig, author had way too much fun writing this
I based this on my first big mouth story, read it HERE
Author’s note: I’m cackling. I loved writing this so much omg— why is it funny tormenting the characters so much 🧍🏻‍♀️anyways, I did my best with Diane and Elliot’s dialogue,, but it’s hard lol. I hope you find it as funny to read as I did to write, and also, ig I kinda lied bc the third and fourth reason technically doesn’t have anything to do with people barging into Judd’s room. But he does get embarrassed, and I needed a good title, sue me. No but seriously, I hope you like this haha
Four (4) reasons why Judd has ‘keep out’ signs on his door
Word count; 4,7K
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Reason one (1)
The air in Judd’s room was warm, and humid, and seemed to have stilled once the two of you collapsed on the bed, worn out from an intense round of fucking. 
He barely bothered covering himself, instead he threw you a somewhat sweaty shirt he had been wearing beforehand and pulled the covers up enough to just barely cover his hips. You accepted it with shaky hands and a worn out smile, almost purring as you slipped into the garment and burrowed yourself under his covers as well.
Between your legs, now resided a slowly cooling and increasingly sticky mess, still leaking from you as you turned in the bed. However, your boyfriend never made a move to get up and fetch a towel. He did reach out an inviting arm, though, urging you to scoot closer to him. You did so with a hazy look on your face, nuzzling into his neck and inhaling. 
You listened to his heart beat wildly, his blood bump and felt so, so content. You heard him relax as well, a deep, low, grunt of a sigh as he settled in, clearly as ready for a nap as you were. 
With the humidity and the stillness of everything, it was too easy to close your eyes and bask in the feeling of sleepiness. You were right there, on the sweet, blurry edge between sleep and consciousness when a series of rapid knocks broke through the silence.
Judd groaned, clearly on the cusp of sleep himself— voice even raspier than usual. Besides mumbling a few threatening words under his breath, he didn’t move to open the door or even care to call out to whoever was knocking. It would most likely be Nick, anyway, coming to bother you and he would set the world aflame before he let his stinky little brother see his girlfriend half naked. 
None of you even had time to register it, before the door rattled, opened and a much too cheery Dr. Birch stepped through. 
You froze— wide eyes searching Judd as the crease between his eyebrows became deeper and a murderous expression overtook his sleepy face. 
“Dad.” He rasped. “Get the hell out.”  He was quick to tuck the covers around you, especially your still very wet crotch and ass, completely disregarding the fact that he was butt naked himself. You shrieked as he suddenly rolled you in the sheets— grateful nonetheless as you came to face Elliot Birch, the man completely indifferent to the two of you and your nakedness. 
“Oh, my sweet Judd!” Mr. Birch exclaimed, ignoring how you both looked very much like you wanted him to leave. “How magnificent is it, that you feel comfortable sharing your nude self with me and Y/n?” 
He clasped both hands over his heart, dramatically, and Judd somehow turned even paler than he already was. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like; “I am going to fucking murder you.” And darted for the floor where he had thrown his jeans. 
“Oh noo! No need to feel ashamed, Judd, I’ll take my pants off too!—“
“— no!” A choked out yell escaped you too quickly. Your face felt hot, and you didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that you were beat red by now. You did not need to see Judd’s dads bare ass after already already being embarrassed beyond belief. 
Dr. Birch chuckled and smiled warmly at you. “Setting your boundaries, I see. I’m so proud of you Y/n— my son has such a strong willed girlfriend!” 
Your cheeks burned. “Uh, right. Thank you, Dr. Birch,” 
“Call me Elliot!” 
Judd scoffed behind you, finally getting his pantless situation under control. “Fuck off, dad. Now. I mean it.” Even he was a bit too stunned to come up with a proper threat. 
Elliot sighed, smiling. “Oh, I will, I will! I’ll leave you two lovers alone in just a minute! I do have a little favour to ask you first, though, Juddy,” 
“What.” Judd deadpanned, the tips of his ears colouring slightly at the horrific nickname. 
“I have this tag still on the back of my shirt, you see, I would have taken it off before trying the shirt on, but now I appreciate it so much I didn’t want to take it off myself— Ah, it holds such good memories of this morning!” 
This morning in particular, Nick tried to hit on you and Judd threw a milk carton at him. 
Judd sighed, deeply, and looked a bit like a feral bull. “You are such a fucking pussy, dad.” He growled, but still walked towards his dad with intend to help. 
“Thank you! That is such a beautiful organ,” You kinda wanted to snicker, at the absurdity of the whole situation, but kept your mouth shut. Judd worked quickly, ripping out the tag and throwing it at his dad. 
“Why the hell didn’t you ask Nick?” Judd grit out, coming to sit on the edge of his bed by your feet. He put a protective, soothing hand on your leg under the covers. 
Dr. Birch laughed. “Because you’re so strong! And I love you, son,” 
Judd visibly clenched his jaw, you had no doubt that if this continued a vein would pop on his forehead. “I hate you.” He countered.
“And I validate that feeling! You have such a way with words, you should think about being a writer, don’t you think so too, Y/n?”
“Get the fuck out.” Judd snarled before you had to respond— thankfully. You smiled awkwardly at Mr. Birch, as if trying to confirm Judd’s words but in a much politer way. 
He smiled. “Alright, alright! Have fun, you two, and be safe!” He said over his shoulder, as if it wasn’t obvious that the two of you had just very much had your fun, and sauntered towards the door, closing it gently behind him.
Reason two (2)
Unfortunately for Judd, he didn’t have his own bathroom in the house, having to share two between his family.
Around the shower, was carefully placed a plethora of different pastel coloured shampoo and body washes— all of which belonged to Leah and smelled like a candy crush fever dream. Judd sorted through them roughly, pushing most of them over in his search to find the all-in-one and shampoo for dyed hair he usually used. 
As he showered, working the shampoo into his hair and revelling in the warm, steamy water spray, Maury appeared; ‘You’re taking a shower for Y/n, huh?’ The hormone monster drawled. He was bored; checking his nails as he made himself comfortable on the toilet outside the shower. 
Judd grunted. It was true, you would be over in a bit and he didn’t want to smell like the raccoons.  “Why are you here?” He demanded. 
The monster chuckled and held up his hands in defence. ‘It’s not my fault you can’t stop thinking about Y/n.. Ahh, remember last week when she sucked you off in the shower? Why’s she not doing that right now? Let’s call her,’ Suddenly Maury had Judd’s phone, and was waving it around. 
“Fuck you. Let me shower.” 
‘No, let’s fuck Y/n!’ Maury countered enthusiastically. ‘And besides, y’know that’s not how it works,’ He grinned mirthfully, slithering around the glass wall of the shower to point a long, clawed finger at Judd’s cock— sure enough it was rising to attention. ‘You gotta jerk off. C’mon, give me a good show!’ 
Judd could have punched Maury— and he had actually tried that before, just for the monster to disappear and reappear behind him with a smug look. So instead of drop kicking his hormone monster, he promptly ignored him and turned around to face the water spray. 
‘Nuh-uh,’ Maury grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around— he shook the monster off with a deep growl. ‘Think about Y/n’s nice, biiig tits, ah~’ Maury shuddered, but continued. ‘Remember how they looked all wet, uhhh I bet she’d let you blow your load all over them next time,’ Maury was unrelenting, an increasingly deepening blush spread over Judd’s face and ears and he let out a strangled groan. 
“Shit, fine!” He hissed and the monster whooped in victory. 
Judd was quick to tip his head back and grab his dick with a closed fist. He sighed through gritted teeth as he got to work— swiftly and quite roughly pumping himself as Maury cheered him on. He closed his eyes and let his jaw go slack, imagining it was your hand around him and recalling the alluring noises you made whenever he was pleasuring you. 
His release build steadily, hand movements getting more frantic and his breath sped up. The spray of water only seemed to get hotter, and the steam in the room became more dense. He leaned forward— spreading his hand out on the wall in front of him to get a better angle, and keep his balance. Now his head hung low, and he panted open-mouthed as he tightened the grip around his cock and sped up his movements again. He was so close, just a few more pumps and— 
The bathroom door flew open and Judd all but jumped out of his own skin. He had locked the door when he first entered, right? 
‘Nooo..! Elliot, get the hell out!’ Maury yowled— appearing on the other side of the shower and trying to push out the intruder, who unfortunately was Judd’s dad. Elliot could neither see nor hear or feel the monster, so Maury’s punching and shaking left him completely unfazed as he continued further into the room.
Judd’s eyes shot open, slack mouth turning into a frightening scowl as he heard his dad sing to himself. Elliot sauntered about the bathroom— humming a song about lotion and browsing through the cabinets. 
“Don’t mind me, Juddy!” He yelled over the water, as if it was a most normal occurrence to walk in on your 18-year-old son taking a shower. 
Maury slithered back into the shower. ‘Let’s kill him. Now. And then we can tend to your little.. problem after,’ He suggested, glaring at Elliot’s shadow through the shower window. Luckily, it was steamy enough to only show silhouettes, so Judd could at least maintain a bit of dignity. 
Judd grunted and nodded in agreement, turning off the shower. “Get the fuck out,” He rumbled, low and threatening. 
“I can’t find my lotion anywhere! It makes my skin so soft— just the way your mother likes it,” Elliot tutted, completely ignoring Judd’s orders. 
“I’ll fucking skin you alive. Get out.” Judd repeated, this time raspier, raising his voice. The steam from the warm water was slowly dissolving— leaving the glass in the shower clear enough to reveal most of Elliot to Judd and vice versa. 
Elliot chuckled warmly. “You have such a poetic soul, son. It’s such a shame you don’t write more,” 
A cross between a deep growl and sigh escaped Elliot’s oldest son. “What the hell are you talking about.” Judd said, and though it sounded like a question he didn’t actually want to know the answer. 
Dr. Birch turned to his oldest, now fully visible behind the shower glass and said; “Your creative potential! Ohhh! You should write Y/n a love letter, she would love it—“ 
“— Fuck no.” 
Elliot’s eyebrows creased, and his facial expression turned earnest. “I know you’re very good at pleasing Y/n with your body—“
“—Dad, shut up—” Now Judd was really embarrassed, he had both hands covering his privates, but was still very much butt naked in front of his dad, a reality that didn’t fail to make a blush creep over his ears and cheeks. The fact that he was also still rock hard, didn’t help at all. 
“— But!” Elliot continued, pointedly ignoring Judd. “You should do something romantic for her! Something with your heart! You should always show a woman how much you love her, Judd,” He reminded, a gentle smile on his face as he watched his son grow increasingly embarrassed. 
“Okay. I don’t care. Get the fuck out.” Judd deadpanned. He had let his facade slip for just a brief moment— before covering his appalled expression up with a vicious glare. 
“Oh, but I still need my lotion—“
“— I’ll gut you and fill you with your fucking lotion if you don’t get out.” He snarled, strained and deep and his look made it clear it was definitely not up for debate. 
‘Boo! Get the fuck out, Elliot!’ Maury added in the background, throwing a shampoo bottle at the man. 
All he did was chuckle at the threat— shrugging his shoulders. “Alright, Juddy, I respect your boundaries. It’s important to acknowledge such things,” He smiled and relented his search for lotion. He continued humming obnoxiously, however, as he left and softly closed the door behind him. 
Reason three (3)
You gasped, puffy lips parting to make way for the eager sound. Judd had roughly thrown you on the couch, slotting himself between your legs and ferociously attacked your neck as soon as you had walked in the door.
Finally, finally, the two of you were alone— in fact, you had the whole house to yourself. Leah was out, Mr and Mrs Birch had taken Nick out for dinner which left you and Judd the perfect opportunity to fuck on the living room couch. And you barely got a saying (not that you minded) before Judd was putting that plan into action. 
Scrambling to put your hands under his shirt, you clumsily felt him up— lightly scratching at his abs just how you knew he liked it. He growled, heavy and husky and bit hard on your neck in retaliation. 
A strangled whine escaped you and you pulled at his shirt— you needed it off. You felt him grin against your throat, just the slightest twist of his mouth as he scraped his teeth against you. 
“Use your words, baby,” He breathed, cruelly dragging his teeth so slowly against your sensitive neck and grinding into you— so you could properly feel him. 
It was so unfair, he knew you’d have no chance of responding when he started palming at your tits, squeezing one in each hand. 
You tugged harder, pulling Judd closer to you in the process. “Off.” Was the only thing you were able to whine.
He licked a long stripe up your neck— tasting you to the best of his ability before he obeyed you. He sat on his knees between your legs, and you watched him with a flushed face as he pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor somewhere. 
Connie, who previously had been banned to the floor where she sat and watched the two of you intensely, stood up— her mouth dropped cartoonishly, hanging on the floor as her tongue lolled out. 
‘Sweet mother of jeebus! Look at those strong, delicious abs..! Lick them— c’mon lick them, hurry! Lick them till he’s all you can taste, sugarplum!’ She cried, and it wasn’t a question, it was a demand. 
You couldn’t help but oblige. You sat up, the way your legs were placed allowing you to straddle him and push him backwards on the couch. To your utter bamboozlement he let you, allowing you control for just a moment as a self-satisfied eyebrow-raise came to his face. 
Half sitting up, he now had the perfect position to ground up into you and you immediately lost what little control you had. Two large hands enclosed around your hips in a lock tight hold—starting a rhythm in which he could press your hips down on his. 
He kissed you then, a tingling feeling erupting in your lower stomach as you tasted the Jack Daniel’s on his tongue. He licked into your mouth with newfound fever, swallowing your desperate yelps and moans— one hand wandering from your hip to your shoulder where he started to push the strap of your tank-top down.
You arched your back, pressing into him, and he took the opportunity to roughly squeeze your ass. In retaliation, you reached a hand down— roughly squeezing his cock through his jeans. 
He groaned, a throaty, baritone sound. “You bitch..!” He cursed and then he was pulling your hair— suddenly pulling you back from his mouth with a harsh tug so he could position you in a way that allowed him to abuse your neck some more. 
He bit you so hard it was sure to leave marks, red and swollen bite marks that would sit on your neck for weeks like an obnoxious neon sign. You sighed and started working his belt—fighting to get it off so you could get your price quicker.
However, just as you were done popping the button on his jeans, the front door clicked and swung open. 
“No, dad! You’re embarrassing me—“
“— You used to love your father’s hugs, Nick, what’s wrong?”
“Nothings wrong, mom, but I’m a man now. I don’t want hugs.”
“Awww, please, Nicky. Let me give my little man a hug,” 
“No, dad, leave me a— Judd?” Nick walked further into the room, in an attempt to escape being coddled by his dad— but came face to face with you on top of his older brother instead. 
Judd’s grip on your hair immediately loosened, Connie cursed and tried to close the front door before Elliot and Diane could enter— you sat up, mortified and corrected the strap of your top back to your shoulder. 
“Nick.” Judd stated, barely bothering lifting his head to look at his brother. You, however, stared the tween down wide-eyed. “Fuck off, we’re busy.” He grunted. The very same sentence he said whenever Nick would brother the two of you in his room.
You watched as Nick’s fists clenched, his face going through multiple shades of red till it landed on an angry glare directed at his brother. “Judd, you're such a slut!” He yelled, voice crack audible and was that.. tears in his eyes?  
“Are you going to cry, you little prick?” Judd cackled— sitting upright all the way so his chest was pressed to yours. 
“Now, Nicky, what are you slut-shaming your brother for?” Dr. Birch waltzed through the front door along with his wife— as if this moment couldn’t get any worse. You moved to get off Judd, but when he grunted and held your hips down, you noticed he was indeed still incredibly hard and you would need to sit still, so as to not expose his boner to his family. 
You felt hot, too clammy as red colour spread from your chest all the way to your ears— like a kettle heating. 
‘Yeah, fuck this. Sorry, sweetheart, but I cannot deal with this today! You’re on your own!’ Connie patted your head, slowly backing away and into a portal that would take her to god-knows-where and throwing you a ‘peace out’ sign. Wow. Such support. 
“Look at what he’s doing to Y/n!” Nick accused, waving his arms at the two of you. 
You didn’t know it was possible, but Dr. Birch frowned, looking down at his son. “Now, Nicky, it’s never okay to slut-shame someone, especially not when you’re witnessing such a beautiful moment! Judd is just sharing an intimate moment with Y/n, nothing to be ashamed off,” 
Judd stiffened under you, he was tense, you were tense, both of you embarrassed beyond belief. Your ears burned bright red, horrified. 
Your boyfriend let out a warning growl. “Shut the hell up, dad—“ 
“— Oh, Y/n! It’s so good to see you!” Then it was Diane talking, she walked towards the two of you on the couch with a warm smile. You couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes— not when you were literally sitting on Judd’s boner, so instead you buried your head in his shoulder.
“Good to see you, too, Mrs. Birch..” You muttered, feeling Judd’s hands tighten around you. 
Diane tutted. “Oh, Y/n, no need to be embarrassed. I’m glad you both feel comfortable having sex under our roof, and you are more than welcome to,” 
It was an attempt to soothe you, yet it sounded so warped coming from your boyfriend's mom’s mouth. 
Judd heaved a long sigh. “We have.. shit to do. Leave.” He said, sounding equally as mortified as you felt. 
Mrs. Birch chuckled lightly. “We’ll be upstairs, Juddy. You two just enjoy yourself, and Y/n, please stay for dinner!” She hummed— you wanted to cry. 
You kept your head burrowed into Judd, listening as Mr and Mrs. Birch’s footsteps resounded towards the stairs, yet one pair of feet remained. 
“Get the fuck out, shitface.” Judd deadpanned. 
“I’m allowed to be here, it’s my house too!” Nick was defiant, pouting at his brother.
Judd’s jaw clenched— Nick would definitely come to regret this later. “You have a second to leave before I come over there and rip your beady eyes out, you fucking creep.” His voice was low and carnal and it was clear he meant business— that was no empty threat. 
Nick paled slightly, but before he could even begin to find the right response, Diane called from upstairs; “Nicholas Birch! Go to your room and leave your brother alone, now!”
At that, Nick complied immediately, secretly relieved to get a free ticket out of the situation before Judd would beat him to a pulp as he flew up the stairs.
Reason four (4)
You were sprawled out on Judd’s bed, a raccoon curled on your lap and Connie laying on her back by your feet. She was watching Judd intensely as he worked out— occasionally commenting on his grunts or groans as he lifted the heavy weights. 
You didn’t bother entertaining her, gently stroking the raccoon while scrolling on your phone. The animal chatted to you, small hands wavering about as it chittered. You thoroughly enjoyed moments like this, when you and your boyfriend could co-exist quietly and in peace. Judd was lying on the floor somewhere, having moved on from the weights to instead practise his pushups. The two of you would probably go out later, after the rather excruciating last few interactions you had with Judd’s parents, the two of you decided to skip dinner with them for the time being.
Your phone was hooked to Judd’s speaker, as he had graciously allowed you to play music for him while he worked out. The raccoon in your lap seemed to enjoy your taste in music as well- tail swaying softly to the baseline.
Catching your hormone monster from the corner of your eye, you saw how she stiffened and suddenly sat up. Her hairs stood up, ears turning down as she surveyed the room— she turned to say something to you, but right before the sounds escaped her, three shy knocks came to the door. 
Judd, who was now doing crunches, sat up fully to fix you a blank stare. He gestured towards the door with his head and raised eyebrows, you pouted but got up. The raccoon in your lap protested as you softly shooed it off— it scurried off under the bed to hide from whoever came to disturb you. Connie followed closely behind you, slinking after you like a shadow as you approached the door. 
Opening the door, you were already quite ready to fight off Nick or Mr. Birch, but what you didn’t expect, however, was your sister standing there and wringing her hands with a nervous expression.
“Uh, Jessi?” You didn’t even know she was here, actually you hadn’t seen her since yesterday evening when Judd picked you up from your dad’s.
Connie raised a hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Oh sweet child..’  She muttered, studying your sister from over your shoulder.
Jessi took a step back, startled, when instead of her crush she came face to face with you in pyjama shorts and one of Judd’s shirts. You bend over a little, to be more on level with her. “What are you doing here? Do you need a lift home, or something?” 
She gaped at you, clearly losing track of whatever she was going to say. You watched, a bit concerned, as gears turned in her head. Then, you felt something, someone, else at your side. You wrinkled your nose as Judd came up besides you— his sweaty palm enclosing around your waist as he pulled you to him. 
You wanted to comment on it— tell him to shower before he got his sweat all over you, but he beat you to it; “Hey Y/n’s sister Jessi.” He grumbled, granting the tween a downwards glance. 
Jessi looked positively constipated, and also a bit like she was going to puke. You freed yourself from Judd— dropping to your knees and gently holding Jessi’s shoulder. “Jessi-bear, are you sick?” 
Connie followed you closely again, this time appearing behind your sister, clutching her closely and spreading a palm over her forehead to feel her temperature. ‘She’s down with a baaad case of Judd fever!’ The monster exclaimed, slightly shaking Jessi, whose blush had now risen from her neck all the way to her ears— colouring her face completely red. 
You sighed as your sister seemed to boot up again from her temporary lockdown. She quickly stepped back from you, and you realised she was holding something behind her hands. Connie noticed it too; ‘Aw Jessi.. So cute, but sad. Very, very sad. Actually kinda pathetic, you better let her down easy, Y/n, sugar.’ 
“I am not Jessi-bear! And I’m not sick! Just.. Just regular, old, fun, Jessi..” She waved you off, and you stood back up— slightly surprised by her outburst.
You tried, and failed, to hide your grin. Apparently, Judd thought your sister's awkward demeanour was funny as well. “Okay, regular, old, fun Jessi. What do you want?” He said, raising a brow at the flustered tween. 
She swallowed thickly, and you fixed Judd a glance that meant ‘don’t be mean’. He retaliated by shrugging and wrapping his arm around you again. Jessi’s blush somehow grew more vivid— she looked a bit like a cat on edge as she dared a glance up at your boyfriend. 
“I was just, y’know, strolling by–” Connie clasped a large paw over her mouth, shaking her again. ‘–Stop talking, baby! Stop talking!’ She howled, though Jessi didn’t seem to hear or even feel her. 
“This hallway has such interesting architecture, did you notice that?” She finished off, fiddling with whatever she had behind her back and making a point of staring at the ceiling instead of Judd. Your boyfriend in question only grunted, keeping his intense glare on Jessi. 
Sighing, you said; “It doesn’t. It’s a hallway. Look, if you need a lift home I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, but shouldn’t you hang out with your friends or something instead? I’m sure Nick is looking for you,” You hinted, but all you got from Jessi was a vivid glare. 
“Yeah. Actually, you’re right. I was just dropping by, but I’m actually really, really busy, so..” She shifted on her feet, turning to leave and accidentally exposing you to the thing she had been holding. 
Judd’s eyebrows drew closer together, in a full on scowl. “Is that my shirt?”
You snorted. “Oh my god!” You stared at your sister in bewilderment, trying to decide whether it was funny, gross or awkward beyond belief; You settled on a good mix of both.
Immediately, the garment slipped from Jessi’s hands and she paled. “I-I-I found it like this! I just wanted to return it!” She could have puked, breathing speeding up as she fought off the hyperventilation and stared at the two of you with a horrified look that meant you had definitely caught her red-handed. 
“Are you stealing Judd’s shirts? I knew I had a bunch of them, did you seriously take them?” You asked, now mortified. Judd let out a series of low, cackling laughs as you watched your sister tear up. She opened and closed her mouth, fighting to say something but ultimately gave up— running off down the hall as you watched her retreating form with bewilderment. 
You’ve reached the bottom🧍🏻‍♀️thank you for reading this far, haha, I hope you enjoyed it. The last one was heavily inspired by that scene in the new season were Jessie walk in on Judd and his girlfriend(?), I just saw that and needed to write something similar
I’m now on my winter break, and I’ve got a lots of idea for Judd content for y’all this week so look out for that!
With this story, I literally need to add this meme; reblogged to me by @raccoon66
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Thank you so much lol, it’s literally the best thing ever 🙏🙏
Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn
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alltheirdamn · 4 months ago
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Chapter 1: Opening Day
Series summary: You've seen it all as the team's lead photographer. You're in the tunnel before the games, on the sidelines for each inning, and always around the players. When Frankie Morales is called up for the new season, you find yourself drawn to him in ways you can't quite explain. Chapter summary: It's opening day at Petco Park, and you finally meet the team's new star catcher. Rating: 18+ (Eventual smut) Word Count: 5k Tags: Triple Frontier AU, OFC! character described as having red hair and freckles, meet-cute, two big dummies bound to catch feelings, mutual pining, slow burn, future smut, duel pov, baseball terminology, etc. A/N: Hi!!! Well, welcome to the series! I'm really excited to share this lil story with you all. I've never really written an OC! before, so hopefully I don't totally butcher it. Anyway, I'm a bit nervous but please enjoy!
Masterlist | Baseball 101
Point. Click. 
Point. Click. 
The camera shutter echoes through the stadium tunnel as you settle into your usual game-day routine. It’s your third year on the media team for the Padres, and you’re beyond eager for the new season to begin. Nothing beats the thrill of baseball season, and it definitely doesn’t suck when an endless array of beautiful men in tight polyester uniforms surrounds you.
Perched on the ground, you angle your camera down the tunnel to capture the boys as they arrive. Benny Miller, the team’s starting shortstop, waltzes through the hall after a few managers get their head start. He’s got on his usual athleisure wear, a workout bag slung over his back, and his blonde hair tousled in a way that’s both messy and intentional.
Point. Click. 
“Welcome back, Benny,” you say, your camera angled a bit higher to adjust to his height.
“Hey to you too, Red,” he grins. 
America’s heartthrob, you think.
Not far behind him is his brother, Will—or Ironhead, as they all call him. He’s been a vet on the team for nearly five years and is one of the top left-handed pitchers in the league. No doubt, with last season's standings, he’ll take them far this year. He’s got the best ERA out of any team in the National League, and his brotherly dynamic with Benny is unmatched. The only difference between Will and Benny, though, is their personalities. Where Benny is outgoing—and a bit flirtatious—Will is reserved and collected. He’s the voice of reason and the glue that holds the entire time together. 
“Hey, Will!” 
You snap a quick photo, all too aware of how much he hates the attention. He gives you a subtle nod and continues down the tunnel behind Benny. 
Santiago Garcia is the next to make his entrance, his infectious smile perfect for a candid moment. Santi was the rookie outfielder last year, securing himself a spot in the All-Star Game with his defensive playing in center field against the stronger teams. You’ve never seen such an arm on someone, and the way he commands the field is wildly impressive. His gigantic ego and self-assurance are also quite impressive and sometimes a bit aggravating. But, you let it slide. He’s a sweet man through and through and has, thankfully, never hit on you. 
Unlike the majority of the sports world. 
Especially when it comes to women working in the media industry. 
You’re convinced Santi has some sort of sixth sense for the camera because the moment you line up for the shot, he’s already sporting a wide grin directed straight at you. 
“Hola, Red,” he says, waving in your direction.
“You know I have a real name, right?” You toss back.
“Whatever you say, Red.”
You roll your eyes as he walks past you, chuckling to yourself as you scroll through the photos logged into your camera. Making a mental note of which to select for the social media posts, you realign the camera back to eye level and squint through the lens. 
The team's newest addition walks straight down the tunnel, with his head low and eyes covered by the visor of his ballcap. Francisco Morales had been called up from triple just a week before opening day. You hadn’t read up much on him or his stats, but you know he’s done quite the work as the catcher for the El Paso Chihuahuas. There had been talks of who they’d have replacing Tom Davis after his season-ending injury last year, and Francisco was their best prospect. 
“Welcome to the team, Francisco!” You holler before snapping a photo.
He barely glances up, but you catch a rosy tint coloring the tanned skin of his face and a slight twitch in the corner of his lips. He’s dressed far differently than the other boys: loose khaki pants, a basic cotton shirt, and a suede bomber jacket. He doesn’t even carry a bag with him, just a plastic bottle of water gripped tightly in one very large hand. 
You’ve been with the team long enough to know his personality is far more reserved than the rest, a bit sheepish and uncomfortable, even. Maybe that’s just the game-day jitters getting to him. 
“Can I get one of you looking at the camera?” You ask before adding a polite please at the end.
He hesitates but ultimately obliges. Through the camera lens, you meet his eyes—the soft, warm brown of his irises boring into you so intensely it causes you to falter over the shutter button. Like any baseball player, he’s got that signature scruffy face, with a distinct mustache over his plush lips and a patchy beard covering his jaw. Despite his introverted demeanor, Francisco steals the air from your lungs just from a simple glance. It’s as if he’s giving you this one moment to capture who he is, and you take it without hesitation.
Point. Click.
“Thank you, Francisco. Good luck today!”
You’re acutely aware of how shaky your voice is, which is unusual given that he hasn’t even spoken to you. 
“Frankie,” he offers as he walks past.
The raspy low pitch of his voice reverbs inside your head, and you only manage to nod in agreement to his wishes. 
Frankie. You can do that. 
**
“So, what are your predictions for game one?” Ryan asks, nudging you slightly.
You’re both crouched behind home plate shooting pre-game warmup photos, the volume in the stadium growing as more fans trickle in. You switch out your sim card and set up your camera for action shots, too focused on getting the right angle of the outfielders to respond. 
Ryan has been your partner in crime on the media team since the start, and both of you got hired right out of college. While you focus more on the game-day action, Ryan usually tends to the off-day social media posts and team engagement with fans. It’s a fair trade-off, plus you’re far more invested in the sport than Ryan is ever willing to admit.
“Hellllooo?” He waves a hand in front of your camera lens.
“I don’t like giving predictions, Ryan. You know that,” you grumble.
“You and your weird superstitions, Red.”
“It’s not weird,” you counter. “Don’t you ever pay attention to the broadcasting curse? If I say something aloud, it’s bound to go the other way, and my hopes will be crushed.”
Ryan adjusts the focus on his lens, shrugging absently at your argument. 
“It’s the first game. Even if they lose today, there’s still six months left in the season.”
“No one wants to lose their first game.”
“You care too much,” he says, but there’s a lightness in his tone.
He knows you care more than you let on. Baseball has been something ingrained in you since you were just a kid. Your dad spent the greater half of his life as the pitching coach for UCLA, dragging you to nearly every game of the season since before you could even walk. You were raised sitting in the dugout with a handful of sunflower seeds in your hand and a baseball cap covering your red hair. Being a part of a baseball team in some capacity had always been in your future, but after your dad passed away when you were just starting college, you centered your entire life around it. You threw yourself into photography, taking every chance at capturing moments that could give you just a second of nostalgia. The photos weren’t just for school, a baseball team, or a social media page… they were for you. It was your way of coping. The longer you could stay on the field, the longer you could live in that bubble of the past. 
Your dad was gone, but you still had baseball. And you’d never give it up. 
“Think Morales is gonna make his mark on the team?” Ryan asks, steering the subject in a different direction.
You tense up, locked on the memory of Frankie’s big brown eyes. There’s something about him that skyrockets your heart rate, and you aren’t sure if it’s in a good way. You search the field for those dark curls, looking at everybody on the field,  trying to spot him during the warmup. Crestfallen, you give up your search and resume snapping photos.
“I think he’ll do just fine,” you say dismissively.
“His batting average in the minors was insane,” Ryan rambles. “Just hopes it sticks here in the big leagues. You know how it is sometimes.”
You did know. Too often, have you seen star minor league players appear on the big stage and choke. Something about Frankie Morales makes you believe he won’t end up like that. There was something in his eyes that told you otherwise, a seriousness that showed this game meant something to him. 
You liked that. 
“Where’s your station for the game?” Ryan asks.
“First base. I might have to step into the bullpen for some shots if they let me.”
“I’m sure the boys will love that,” he teases.
“Oh, fuck off. They’re harmless.”
“I don’t know, Red. I see the way they look at you.”
You deadpan, giving him an icy stare. None of the boys thought of you that way, and you didn’t think of them differently. This was a job. They played the game; you took the photos. 
That was the end of it. 
“I think you’re seeing things,” you argue.
“I mean, Benny is giving you fuck me eyes from across the field right now,” Ryan shrugs.
You steal a glance out to the in-field to find Ryan is, in fact, correct. With his free hand, Benny tosses you a flirtatious wave before throwing the ball back to Santi across the field. 
“He flirts with everyone,” you say pointedly. “Did you see how many girls he brought back to his hotel rooms last season?”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind adding one more.”
You punch Ryan in the arm, clearly annoyed with his pushy behavior toward the subject. Grabbing your equipment bag from the ground, you toss him a quick finger and haul your stuff down to the media room under the stadium. 
**
Frankie isn’t in the right mindset when the National Anthem concludes before the game. He’s not one to get nervous before playing, but something about seeing Petco Park sold out for opening day has him fidgeting. The only saving grace is having Santi playing alongside him. 
He and Santi met back in college, playing together from Sophomore year until Senior year when they got drafted to different teams. Santi was selected in the third round by the Houston Astros and was traded a year later to the Padres. Frankie got drafted by the Padres right away in the fifth round. He spent the last four years in the minors, just waiting to get called up.
Now, the moment is here, and he’s terrified.
Frankie doesn’t like to admit it often, but he holds himself to a higher standard. He’s fucked up in life a few times, and it’s cost him his happiness. He doesn’t want to fuck up now. Not when the entire world is watching. 
“Estás bien?” Santi asks Frankie as they head into the dugout. 
“I’m fine,” Frankie says, but his tone says otherwise. 
There’s a haze over his mind, a fog he can’t shake. Santi claps him on the back, giving him a comforting smile.
“It’s just first-game nerves, Catfish. It’ll pass after the first at-bat.”
Frankie doesn’t respond. He’s got a lump in his throat, and he can’t quite swallow it. The last thing he wants to do is disappoint his closest friend—or the team. He can’t be a disappointment. He has to be good. He has to be the best. 
He has to prove himself.
Frankie runs out onto the field, securing his catcher's mask over his face. The weight of his gear feels like a comforting anchor, leveraging him to keep his mind focused. There’s a roar from the crowd as he takes his place behind home base, and the applause and cheers only make things worse. He’s under the lights, he’s got thousands watching, and this is his one shot. 
The first pitch comes fast, a sinker that falls perfectly into his glove. Strike one. Will is on the mound, his face stoic and focused on the batter standing to the right of Frankie. There’s still some trust to gain between them both, and Frankie hopes he proves himself today. Will throws a slider next, down low and right past the bat. 
Strike two. 
Like a well-rehearsed dance, Frankie and Will waltz between batters. An easy one, two, three, and they’re out of the top of the first. Frankie runs alongside Will as they head toward the dugout, the tension in his shoulders relaxing.
“Great job out there, Morales,” Will says. “Welcome to the show.”
“Thanks, Miller. You’re solid on the mound. Those sliders are insane,” Frankie commends. 
“Gotta keep them on their toes. Now, get ready for the bottom of the inning. Show them what you can do out there.”
As Frankie steps into the dugout, he nearly collides with a body nestled into the corner of the steps. Her red hair is tousled into a ponytail, the bill of her Padres ball cap shielding her eyes from the setting sun.
“Shit, sorry,” she mumbles, stepping out of the way.
He recognizes her from earlier, the media girl in the tunnel. Frankie was so wrapped up in his thoughts earlier he hadn’t noticed how beautiful she was: bright eyes, a gentle smile, and a face covered in freckles. 
“All good,” he huffs, too flustered to choke out any more words.
“You look good out there,” she smiles. 
Frankie runs a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, no doubt looking a mess. He needs to focus—needs to move—but he can’t seem to make his way past her. 
“Be careful with Akin’s pitches,” she adds. “He tends to throw his fastballs up in the corner of the zone.”
“Thanks,” Frankie nods. He’s surprised at how much she pays attention.
“Yo! Catfish!” Santi calls from down in the dugout. “Get your ass over here now.”
“I’m assuming you’re Catfish?” She asks.
“Unfortunately,” Frankie grumbles. “Sorry, I’m just gonna go see what he wants.”
“It’s all good. I’m moving down to first base, so I’ll be out of the way.” 
She rises to her feet and gives Frankie one final smile before stepping onto the dirt. Frankie watches as she walks away, her ponytail swinging behind her with every step. 
Focus. 
**
Halfway through the batting order, you’re already onto your next sim card. You usually space out the amount of footage you take, but the game is electric. The Padres are up three to zero, thanks to a home run from Benny—obviously—and a few quick plays made by Santi and Chris Holmes. 
With two outs in the sixth, Frankie is up to bat. His first plate appearance was abysmal, with a groundout to third base. You saw his shoulders slumped as he walked off the field; he didn’t take it lightly. It’s just the first game, you tell yourself. He’ll do just fine. 
Akin throws the first pitch, a fastball, just as you expect. Frankie takes the strike and readjusts himself for the next pitch. It’s outside the zone, and he tracks it carefully. You hold your breath as he hits a full count, three balls, two strikes… and wait. Akin places a screwball down low, but Frankie manages to get a piece of it and sends it sailing into center field for a double. You startle yourself with how loud you cheer, watching his muscled body run past first and onto second base. You’re so caught up in watching him you forget to snap a photo.  
You scold yourself for missing the opportunity to capture his first hit for the team. Why are you so fixated on him? None of the other guys have ever caused you to miss a shot; no one has ever tripped you up this badly. But Frankie… there’s just something about him. He’s not self-assured like the rest. He’s not cocky in the slightest. Honestly, he looked terrified when you ran into him after the top of the first inning. Before your mind starts wandering off, you check the settings on your camera and return to shooting footage. 
The team wins five to zero. Fireworks sparkle through the night sky as the stadium begins to clear out, and you start to return to the dugout. Benny and Will are in a tight embrace as you step under the awning, your camera gear slung over your back. 
“Great win, boys,” you say, giving them each a high five. 
“Did you ever doubt us?” Benny teases, giving you a smug grin. 
“Not for a minute.”
The Miller brothers make their way down into the clubhouse, leaving you standing alone in the dugout. You peel off your ballcap and remove your ponytail, letting your hair fall down your shoulders. 
“Thanks for the advice on Akin.”
The voice startles you, and you search through the shadows to find Frankie sitting alone at the end of the bench. He’s got his glove resting beside him and his bat propped between his feet. He should be celebrating with the team down in the clubhouse, yet he’s here by himself under the stadium lights and swirling shadows. 
“I’ve got plenty more if you ever need it,” you tell him. 
Frankie doesn’t respond, but his eyes stay locked on yours. The stadium lights illuminate the rich chocolate inside his irises, making it nearly impossible to look anywhere else. 
“Shouldn’t you be with the team?” You wonder. “I’m sure they’re all celebrating the first win of the season.”
“Just wanted some time alone, I guess. Soak it all in, you know?”
You walk toward him, cautious on whether or not to get any closer. You aren’t sure if he even wants company, but you can’t seem to steer yourself away. 
“Was it everything you hoped for?” You ask. 
“It could’ve been better.”
Frankie moves his glove into his lap, offering you a space beside him on the bench. Though you feel reluctant, something inside you forces your legs to move. You want to be nearer to him, to get close enough to see past this wall he’s built up. You’re used to some players being quiet and shy, like Will. At least with Will, though, he’s fun when there’s no stress on his shoulders. He relaxes a bit from time to time and lets his guard down. Something you’ve yet to see with Frankie. 
Sliding onto the bench beside him, you adjust your camera into your lap and lay your ballcap over your knee. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Frankie’s head tilt slightly, his eyes trained on your legs. There’s still a healthy gap between you both, yet the warmth of his body swarms around you. 
“Are you with the team full-time?” He asks. 
You glance at him, studying the way his hair curls around his ears and at the base of his neck. There’s a tension in his jaw that flexes under his beard, a simple twitch that happens after every time he speaks. Despite the timid exterior, you can’t help but to notice the softness in his eyes when he looks at you. 
“Mostly just for home games,” you explain. “I only really travel with the team if they invite me on the road. They like having extra media presence for the bigger series, and whatnot. If I could be at every game, I absolutely would. Sitting on the sidelines beats having to watch it on the TV or listening to the radio.”
Frankie nods along as you talk, his lips pursed as if he’s thinking of what to say. Avoiding any more awkward silence, you flick on your camera and scroll through the photos, presenting him with a few you’d taken during his first appearance at the plate. His arm brushes yours slightly as he leans in closer, staring at the photo far longer than you expect. 
“I kind of fucked up and forgot to take a photo of you after that double in sixth,” you admit. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be,” he shakes his head. “I like this one.”
It’s a photo of him swinging at a curveball, his bat posed perfectly in the center of the box, and his muscular thighs flexed under his pinstripe uniform. You have to admit, it is a good shot—and he looks amazing mid-swing. Your eyes flick up to his, realizing he’s already looking at you. Thank God for the shadows inside the dugout, or else Frankie would see the way your face warms at his words. You don’t ever share your footage with the guys until it’s posted on the social media pages, but it feels different with Frankie. It strangely feels nice. 
“I feel like an asshole, I don’t think I’ve even asked for your name,” he says. 
“The guy’s normally just call me Red,” you shrug. 
“But that’s not your name.”
You tell him your name, and listen to his gentle voice echo it back. It’s rare you hear your name nowadays. Everyone just refers to you as ‘Red’, like it’s who you are. It doesn’t bother you, necessarily, but finally hearing someone acknowledge you makes your stomach flip. Frankie’s eyes never leave yours, and you realize how close you both have gotten. His leg is pressed against yours, and you can still faintly smell the turf on his uniform. He must notice it, too, because he clears his throat and shifts his legs inward. Shutting your camera off, you let it rest in your lap between your hands. There’s a quiet buzz between your bodies, a comfortable cocoon of shared silence that seems to swell with each passing second. 
“I, um, I should probably head down there with the guys,” Frankie says after a while. 
“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry if I kept you too long.”
Frankie rises from the bench, his thick fingers wrapping around the neck of his bat. He offers you a hand, and you shrink under his height as you move to stand. 
“I didn’t mind the company.”
There’s a hint of a smile on his face, just an easy curve of his lips as he stares at you a moment longer. You should move. You should definitely move. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Frankie,” you say. “Great job out there tonight.”
“Thank you.” He says your name, again, emphasizing it as if to prove a point. A gentle reminder that you’re more than just a nickname. 
**
“What took you so long, Catfish?” Santi yells from across the clubhouse. 
He’s already showered and got on his casual clothes for the drive home, something Frankie should have been doing. Instead, he had been helplessly wasting time sitting next to the photographer he had seen around all day. 
Frankie tears his baseball cap off his head, tossing it into his locker as he unbuttons his uniform. He’s still mentally picking apart the day—what he did wrong, what he could improve on—but in each thought, her shiny red hair and doe eyes make a reappearance. Shaking his head, he strips off his undershirt and searches through his stall for a fresh one. 
“Got to chatting with the team photographer,” he says, shrugging the shirt over his chest.
Santi leans against the locker stall, his mouth quirked up in a teasing grin. Frankie already knows what he’s going to say, and he regrets ever mentioning it. 
“Distracted by Red, huh?” Santi teases. “She’s got that affect.”
“She’s not distracting,” Frankie defends. “She just came down to show me some of the pictures she took, and we talked a bit. That’s all.” 
He hopes his clipped words are enough to steer Santi away from the conversation, but Santi can see right through him. 
“Red never shows anyone her photos. None of us ever see what she’s got on that camera until they’re online.”
For some reason, Frankie loves knowing he’s the exception. He saw the way she lit up as she scrolled through the footage, clearly proud of her work. Hell, he doesn’t even care she missed his big play. She spent that time in the dugout with him while his mind was a mess, and gave him a reprieve from the clouded thoughts that the game left him with. Was it awful that he was only looking forward to tomorrow’s game so he could see her again? 
“Maybe she feels bad for me, I don’t know,” Frankie huffs.
He slips on his jacket and runs a hand through his hair before putting on his hat. Santi watches him suspiciously, tracking the tense movements Frankie makes as he gathers his stuff to leave. 
“She’s a nice girl, you know, and she knows her shit, too. Hell, half the guys have tried to grab her attention the last few years, and she’s never been interested.”
“What makes you think she’s interested in me?” 
“I don’t know,” Santi drawls out the words. “Guess we’ll just have to see what she posts tonight.”
Frankie rolls his eyes, shoving past Santi and out of the clubhouse. He steers clear of the other guys as they walk together out to their cars. No one has said much to him yet, and he’s okay with it. Frankie knows he’s the new guy and it’ll take some time for everyone to warm up to him. The only person that seems to be welcoming so far, was Red. Maybe that’s just who she was, but Frankie found himself working Santi’s words over and over inside his head. Red never shows anyone her photos. What made Frankie so special, then? Was he right to think she felt bad for him? If she hadn’t been interested in anyone else, then why did she spend that time with him? 
The apartment is pitch black when Frankie opens the door. Flicking on the lights, he takes in the empty space. Moving boxes scatter the hallway, leading into the renovated kitchen. Frankie barely got the keys to his new place in San Diego two days ago, leaving him little time to settle in before opening day. After this series he’ll be on the road for a week, without any time to get acclimated. Traveling never bothered him, but he wished he could just stop and breathe for one minute. You wanted this, he reminds himself. He’s worked too hard the last several years to let this opportunity pass. The boxes can wait, at least for now.
Tossing his jacket onto the back of the sofa, Frankie slumps against the cushions, scrubbing a hand over his face. He’s been itching to look at his phone since he left the stadium, but he held off. Guess we’ll just have to see what she posts tonight. Digging out his phone from his pocket, Frankie opens Instagram and refreshes the page. Sure enough, the media team already made a post-game slideshow…with Frankie’s at-bat being the first photo. 
The same one he told her he liked the most. 
His thumb hovers over the post as he debates whether or not to look at the rest. He’s already got his one photo, there wouldn’t be any need to give fans more. Yet, as he slides his thumb left over the screen, there’s another photo of himself—from the pre-game walk through the tunnel. Even though his eyes are staring directly into the camera, he knows that wasn’t what he was looking at. His entire focus had been on the girl behind the camera. 
Frankie opens the team’s Instagram page and scrolls through the ‘following’ tab, searching for her name. It’s just innocent curiosity, that’s all it is, but as he finds her name down the list, he’s tempted to press the button. The blue Follow button taunts him, begging him to make the move. Her profile picture is a simple mirror shot, half her face covered by her camera. He wants to see more, like this odd desperation to know her past the lens she hides behind. Before he talks his way out of it, Frankie taps Follow, and sends his phone sailing across the room. It hits the carpet with a soft thud, and sits there silent on the ground. He tips his head back against the couch, pitching the bridge of his nose. God, he feels stupid. 
A soft buzz resounds through the room. Frankie slides his eyes toward his phone, seeing the carpet illuminated by the screen. Just a coincidence, he thinks. Despite the denial he spews inside his mind, he moves from the couch to retrieve his phone. 
Red has accepted your follow request. 
Red started following you. 
Frankie stares at the screen with a stupid grin on his face. He scrolls through her page, finding a surplus of photographs of the stadium, the beach, and a few cityscape shots from various cities. There isn’t a single photo of her, though. He studies each photo, wondering what she saw through the lens of the camera, wishing he could see just one of her face. As he makes his way down her page, a message notification pops onto the screen. 
Red: I hope it’s okay I posted that photo of you. 
Frankie: Absolutely. 
Red: Ok, good. I liked it, too. 
Frankie: Santi told me you don’t show anyone your photos. 
Red: Of course he did. LOL. I’m just protective over my work. I like to keep things private.
Frankie: Why’d you show them to me? 
Frankie watches as text bubbles appear and disappear over and over for at least a minute. He half considers turning his phone off for the night to avoid her response. He shouldn’t care why she showed him, but the thought of it would keep him up all night, wondering why he was deserving of it and not anyone else. His phone buzzes in his hands, and Frankie quickly opens the message. 
Red: I don’t know. You’re the only person I really felt like sharing it with. 
Frankie: I feel honored. Any time you want to share them, I’m always around. 
Red: I’m holding you to that. 
Frankie thinks of a million things to reply with, but his fingers don’t move; all he can think about is seeing her again tomorrow.
90 notes · View notes
codenamesazanka · 11 months ago
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assorted 408 thoughts
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When I first saw this sequence of panes, I thought, wildly and hopefully, that’s Shigaraki Tomura. That could be Shigaraki Tomura, someone who holds the quirk All For One and who, despite everything, is kind.
It reminds to be seen if Shigaraki Tomura can be stopped. As Deku says himself in Chapter 406, he still haven't come up an answer yet.
Since his first appearances, Shigaraki Tomura is infamous for being childish, talking about fights and battles as if he was playing video games. He's matured since then and his game metaphors have lessen in quantity, but his enjoyment of video games is still significant to his character.
But Shigaraki Tomura is also the one who created the League of Villains, a haven for outcasts and misfits. Twice considers the League the only place he belongs. Toga found life easier to live while with Shigaraki and others. The League is home to it's members, because Shigaraki made it that way.
Part of that is because Shigaraki Tomura is considerate of his teammates feelings and desire. This is core to Shigaraki - even as a child, he went out of his way to befriend those left behind, to include the children no one else wanted to play with. Underneath the layers of bitterness and rage caused by society's rejection, Shigaraki is still someone who cares a lot:
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One thing I really like about the new chapter is that All For One kept Yoichi's severed hand.
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Why? Who knows. All For One isn't allowed any real human emotions by the story. But still - All For One kept a severed hand, a memento of a lost one and whatever significance is embedded in that; it's evidence of what he's done - killed his brother - and a symbol of his new purpose - to hunt down the other remnant of Yoichi.
Years later, he would do the same for Shimura Tenko, when he gives the boy the hands of the slaughtered Shimura family. And he intends for them to have the same meanings and purposes - for Shimura Tenko to remember the massacre, and for that memory to spur him onward.
That AFO repeats this gruesome gesture with Tenko, essentially reproducing the same horror he experienced onto the boy who he intends to be his heir. This recontextualizes The Hands a bit - instead of just what seemed to be a sort of unique psychological torment imposed out of revenge against Shimura Nana's descendant, it's also AFO just raising Tomura after himself. It's still a incredibly fucked up cruelty, don't get me wrong, but now it feels less because specifically Shimura, and more because AFO wanted an successor that mirrors himself, down to the same traumatic trappings.
But of course, Shigaraki Tomura still greatly resembles Yoichi.
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Overall, this panel of Yoichi does closely resembles the panel of Shigaraki from Chapter 221. Just— everything from the angle of the face and the direction of their gaze, to the position of the hand.
But based on Yoichi’s expression - the eyes, the slight smile, the whole demeanor - my first thought went to Shigaraki in Chapter 148, when he was telling Toga and Twice that he believes in them.
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This is Shigaraki, revealing his face to Toga and Twice, when in the previous panels, it had seemed like he was insensitively ordering them around, without consideration for their feelings, telling them to work with Overhaul who had just murdered their friend Magne. But once the hand comes off - voluntarily, for the first time, facing them straightforwardly - we see a look that convey a lot of things - Shigaraki's resolve in taking down Overhaul, his trust in Twice and Toga, his sincerity in what he's saying. It's Shigaraki with probably his kindest expression in the entire manga.
It parallels the context somewhat too - in Yoichi panels, it had look at first like he was despondent, sad and weak, lamenting that he dependent and was unable to do anything against the evil that was his brother. But instead, with the face reveal, we're seeing Yoichi's own indomitable will and kindness, so much that he still sees the hopeful possibilities of All For One's power.
Both are victims of All For One, but both have always kept their strong sense of self and core sense and desire for kindness and justice.
If you ask me what AFO and OFA combined would look like, I have to say: Shigaraki Tomura.
249 notes · View notes
skzkiof · 7 months ago
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kiss me;
ivantill, 8.7k read on ao3
For a second he just stood there dumbly, eyes wide open. He heard a gasp from the side then a whispered, “I thought they weren’t actually supposed to kiss here?” Till hadn’t prepared himself for this, but he knew he couldn’t risk ruining the scene even more. Eyelashes fluttering, he closed his eyes and cupped Ivan’s face, kissing him back with fervor.
Till couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Surely he had misheard, or maybe he hadn’t actually woken up this morning and he was still dreaming.
His manager looked as real as ever, though, staring at him with a hint of knowing amusement. He couldn’t stand her sometimes. (He loved her.)
“I thought you’d be excited,” she sighed dramatically, crossing her arms. “I guess maybe we should consider pulling out of the movie and – ”
His hand jerked out without his permission, fast as lightning, grabbing her arm. “Don’t even joke about that, Mizi.”
Her answering grin was all teeth. “They’ll want to do a chemistry read, first,” she put her hand over his. “Don’t get too excited. Nothing is guaranteed yet.”
For all they knew, he wouldn’t even get cast. Or if he did, maybe they’d kick Till off the project and replace him if their chemistry wasn’t promising enough. He really hoped it would be. But either way, he would be meeting him.
Till felt himself grinning before he could stop it, “I’m meeting Ivan.”
-
Till couldn’t recall the exact moment he discovered Ivan. To be fair, most people probably couldn’t. He was everywhere, it seemed – commercials, movies, television, even music videos.
What he could recall – as clear as if it’d happened yesterday – was the feeling he had felt. It was like a dam had opened and there was no stopping it. He realized he wanted more out of life.
He didn’t just want to continue being an extra on every set, the side-character who was killed off after one or two episodes.
Since then, he’d been able to build a decent name for himself. He wasn’t Ivan, by any means, but he was well-known enough to get the lead in an upcoming highly anticipated movie. And if the universe smiled upon him, just one last time, he would hopefully get to have Ivan as his love interest.
-
“I am running on exactly two hours of sleep, by the way.”
Mizi snorted, side-eyeing him. “I can tell,” she teased, and he knew it was just that: a joke but he still couldn’t help the sudden rush of insecurity.
As if sensing it by some form of magic, she slowed to a stop in the hallway and took his arm.
“You look great, Till. You haven’t even gotten makeup done yet and you still look amazing.” She squeezed his arm. “You’ve got this, you know that, right?”
He forced a smile. “Don’t you know confidence is my middle name?”
And usually it was true. If there was one thing he had over most of his competition in the industry, it was overflowing confidence.
Mizi smiled back, far more sincere. “Come on,” she said, tugging him along gently. “We don’t want to be late.”
-
Before the chemistry read, he went to get his makeup done as scheduled. Hyuna was no better than Mizi, grinning wildly as she gently applied a bit of concealer under his eyes.
“Let me guess,” she said, “didn’t sleep much?”
Till rolled his eyes, but made sure not to move. “I wonder if every actor has such a nosy makeup artist or is it just me?”
“Hmm, I would say you’re just lucky.” She winked and stepped back. “You look good enough to eat.”
He snorted. If he wasn’t so nervous underneath it all, he might’ve cracked a joke. Like how the only person he wanted to eat him was —
The door swung open, startling him. “Come on – ” he relaxed when he saw it was just Mizi. “We only have a few minutes.”
Quickly stumbling out of the chair, he rushed to her side and followed her into the hallway. As they walked toward the room set aside for their scheduled chemistry read, Mizi looked him up and down, not even trying to be discreet. Till made sure no one was around before quietly flipping her off.
Couldn’t tarnish his reputation and all that.
She giggled, light and airy. “I was just going to say,” she bumped their shoulders together, gentle, “you look good. Don’t let anything bring you down, okay?”
And he knew it wasn’t just empty words; Mizi had been there for him since the start of his career, long before he’d managed to actually make a name for himself. She’d been there with open arms (and an extra large pizza) every time he’d been turned down from a role, every time a casting director had scoffed like he was hilarious for even thinking he had a chance.
It had been hard, then, but motivating. He never wanted to be underestimated ever again. He thought he’d never feel so scared again, walking toward an audition room. It was a pointless fear. He had joked but surely they wouldn’t actually try to kick him out, even if the chemistry read wasn’t a success.
“Break a leg,” Mizi whispered just as they stopped in front of the door.
Till could hear voices through the wood. He concentrated and tried to see if he could pick out Ivan’s voice, in the sea of them, but he wasn’t sure if he could trust himself. He thought he heard him, a familiar drawl he had heard on television a million times, but he could’ve just been imagining it.
Mizi glanced at him, a silent question. He just nodded.
Without another word between them, she turned and opened the door.
-
Till didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath as his eyes scanned the room: it was all the usual people – the casting director sat at the table with two other staff members on each side, a few other stray staff members were scattered around the room.
In the middle of all of them was Ivan.
He was smiling politely as others talked to him, a small quirk of his mouth. Till must’ve stared for a second too long because suddenly Ivan was lifting his head and their eyes met.
Till had seen him a hundred times, at least, through a screen but he wasn’t sure anything could’ve prepared him for this moment.
For seeing him, here, like this, in real life. Ivan was even more stunning in person.
Ivan’s smile stretched just a little wider, barely noticeable. Till should’ve smiled back but he felt like he was frozen.
“Okay,” the casting director – Luka – stood up from the table. “From what I’ve been told, this is your first time meeting, correct?”
Till didn’t even realize he was addressing them until Mizi gave a gentle nudge at his side. He flushed, standing a little taller. He might’ve been meeting his idol, for lack of a better word, but he was still a professional.
“Yes,” he answered, cursing the slight shake to his voice.
Ivan nodded. “I’ve seen him plenty, of course, but never met, no.”
Till felt a shiver down his spine. Ivan. Ivan had seen him before, too, which shouldn’t have been surprising. He had been on a number of notable series by now, but for some reason he still hadn’t been prepared to hear it.
“Wonderful,” Luka said, “Everyone – ” He did a little twirl with his finger, making a point to address everyone in the room. “Out.”
Till knew the process by now. Luka’s process, at least. He could be a little unorthodox. Usually he didn’t mind it, but right now he was already starting to feel sweat pool at the small of his back.
Mizi let out a tiny huff of amusement as she helped to herd everyone out of the room. Last to go was Luka, who didn’t even say a word before closing the door.
If Ivan was confused, he didn’t voice it. For a moment, the room was silent with just the two of them.
“Sorry,” Till said eventually, clearing his throat. He dared a glance in Ivan’s direction; he was standing just a few feet away, a thoughtful quirk to his head. “Luka can be a bit, uh. Unorthodox in his methods. He always likes to give actors a few minutes by themselves before starting the read.”
He was proud of himself; his voice was steady and clear.
Ivan hummed, but still didn’t say anything. Till took advantage of the moment to really look Ivan over. He was beautiful; dark hair swept back with a few loose strands, eyes lined with black – not too much, just enough to somehow make his dark eyes look even darker, his lips shined with a thin layer of gloss, skin clear and perfect.
The way his mouth was twisted, Till could even see his fang. Not literal, of course, it was just his canine – especially sharp and pronounced – but it had always been one of his selling points that fans seemed to like.
He looked like he was conjured up in a lab somehow.
And Till, well. He wasn’t naive. He knew he was attractive – wouldn’t have gotten this far in the industry if he wasn’t – but he felt lacking compared to Ivan, more than he had in a long time.
Without thinking, he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. But the wild look was part of his appeal, Hyuna had always said. Made him stand out.
“Are you going to keep staring at me or actually introduce yourself?”
Till startled, yanking his hand out of his hair hard enough he winced a little. He opened his mouth, ready to apologize, but then he saw Ivan was smiling. Barely, really, more like a smirk.
Clearing his throat, he wiped his hands off on his jeans in what he hoped was a discreet move (he was still sweating like crazy) and stepped forward. “Why should I introduce myself when you apparently already know my name?”
He froze as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He was so stupid.
This was Ivan – the Ivan – and here he was already messing everything up because he never quite knew when to shut his mouth. He waited, expecting the worst. He wouldn’t have even been surprised if he’d pushed him out of the way and stormed out of the room.
But instead Ivan did the complete opposite. He gave a little laugh, eyes crinkling just a little around the edges. Till felt something warm blossom in the pit of his stomach.
“I haven’t had someone talk to me like that in, well, ages.” His eyes were still sparkling when he finally stopped laughing. He extended a hand. Till moved quickly before he could think too hard and just make himself more nervous. Ivan’s hand was warm, smooth.
Till knew his own hands weren’t nearly as smooth, from playing guitar. It was just a hobby he had picked up on the side, nothing more, but his hands still suffered for it.
“You must play an instrument,” Ivan said, startling him. For a moment, he wondered if he’d accidentally spoken his thoughts but then Ivan tilted his head. “Guitar?”
Till swallowed around the lump in his throat; Ivan’s thumb gently moved over his knuckles, once, fleeting, before he was pulling away. Maybe he’d imagined it. “Yeah. Um. Just a hobby.”
“I would love to hear you play, if ever given the chance,” Ivan said. Normally, Till would’ve brushed it off as empty words but there was something oddly sincere about the way he said it.
He dropped his gaze, focusing on the collar of Ivan’s shirt. Anything to make sure he didn’t keep staring at his face. “Yeah. Sure.”
Before he – or Ivan – could say anything else, the door was opened without even a knock. Till spun around as Luka entered the room followed by the rest of the staff and finally Mizi alongside a woman he didn’t quite recognize. He wondered if she was part of staff and somehow he had just never noticed her until now.
That question was answered quickly when she went to Ivan’s side. “You’ve totally got this,” she said, hushed but just loud enough Till could hear.
He wondered if that was true. Didn’t want to get his hopes up.
“Okay, since I’ve given you both more than enough time to get acquainted.” Luka nodded at the scripts on the table. “Go ahead.”
Till forced his hand to not shake as he reached out and grabbed his version of the script; the part they’d be rehearsing, today, had been highlighted. It wasn’t too long. He just had to get through the scene without any mistakes.
He skimmed through it quickly, saw Ivan doing the same, even though they had both already read the script. Ivan, possibly only one or twice, but Till had read it nearing a dozen times.
So how did he manage to forget what happened at the end?
They didn’t kiss, not in this scene, but they almost did and that was enough to have Till suddenly rethinking everything. You’re a professional, he reminded himself, and tried to believe it.
He had certainly kissed plenty of people on set by now but admittedly he had never found any of them quite as alluring as Ivan.
Still, this was a chance to prove himself. He wouldn’t let that get in the way of doing his job properly.
“We don’t have all day,” Luka said, as impatient as ever.
Till resisted the urge to glare at him and simply set the script aside; it wasn’t frowned upon to read from the script during chemistry reads, of course, but he had the entire thing memorized already.
Ivan probably hadn’t been able to memorize it in such a short time but Till was surprised to find he set his script aside as well. He was always called an acting prodigy by media, the best the industry had seen in ages, and it seemed like it went beyond just a good performance on screen.
They both stepped closer to each other, waited until Luka gave the final nod.
All jokes aside, Till really was a professional. He felt like he was a different person when he got into character. Immediately he felt his eyes start to sting, his bottom lip tremble a little.
“You lied to me,” he said, voice thick with emotion.
It was surprisingly easy to look Ivan in the eyes all of a sudden. Ivan stared back just as intensely, reached for his hands. He held them, loose and gentle. “You know I didn’t have a choice.”
Till jerked his hands away. “But you promised me.”
“I know, I know,” Ivan’s eyes were glossy too, brimming with so much emotion Till had to remind himself they were acting. He couldn’t remember ever having to do that before. “But I need you to trust me, okay?”
Till swallowed. “I – I don’t know if I can,” he whispered, just loud enough for Luka and the others to hear.
Ivan frowned, looking thoughtful for a moment. “How can I convince you to trust me?”
He opened his mouth, closed it, cursed himself because – he’d fucking forgotten the line. How could he have forgotten the line? He dared a quick glance at Luka, who was watching him with slightly narrowed eyes.
He was so screwed. Ivan was definitely getting the role, no doubt, but not before Till was probably kicked off the project.
And now he was so nervous he was shaking a little, hopefully not enough to be noticed by Luka and the others but there was no hiding it from Ivan, as close as he was.
So much for being a professional.
Maybe it would be better just to get it over with and admit his mistake, take whatever consequences would follow, even if that meant being kicked off the project. Even if it meant not getting to work with Ivan.
But as soon as he opened his mouth, Ivan surged forward and kissed him.
For a second he just stood there dumbly, eyes wide open. He heard a gasp from the side then a whispered, “I thought they weren’t actually supposed to kiss here?”
The only thing that followed was silence, but Till knew the answer; he might’ve forgotten his line but he still remembered how the scene ended – Ivan’s hand on his neck, thumb stroking his jaw as he begged him for one more chance.
Not a kiss, but something close. The actual kiss came far later in the script.
Till hadn’t prepared himself for this, but he knew he couldn’t risk ruining the scene even more. Eyelashes fluttering, he closed his eyes and cupped Ivan’s face, kissing him back with fervor.
It was like something out of his wildest dreams but also not at all.
After a few seconds, he dared to open his eyes, surprised to find Ivan already staring back at him.
Suddenly Ivan was pulling away, turning toward Luka. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away.”
Till licked his lips, flushed when he realized what he’d done and quickly pursed his lips into a thin line to ignore the urge to do it again.
“Well,” Luka looked torn between amusement and annoyance, “I supposed you were going to kiss him eventually one way or another.”
Till blinked as the words settled. “Wait, you mean – ”
“Don’t get too excited,” he interrupted, already standing, “but you should be optimistic.” Weirdly, he said it while staring at Till like he was the one auditioning for the spot, not Ivan. There was no way he knew, right? Or maybe he was letting him know he was going to be kind enough to ignore his obvious mistake. “We’ll call you once we’ve discussed it and made a final decision.”
Till watched as Luka left with the staff, not even giving them a glance back. For once, he was thankful to be ignored.
Once they were gone, Mizi rushed to his side. “Are you okay?” she asked, side-eyeing Ivan skeptically.
He appreciated her concern, as always, but he was fine. If kissing strangers was an issue for him, he probably would’ve picked a different career path, but even those kisses were usually planned for and this wasn’t, which was jarring, yes, but he wasn’t upset.
Ivan’s manager was at his side, too, looking at him with disapproval. Till wondered how often he did unexpected stuff like that.
Finally he brushed her off and stepped forward, closer to Till. Mizi pursed her lips but didn’t intervene; she really was the perfect manager for him.
“I apologize,” he said, giving a slight bow. “I shouldn’t have done that without warning, but…”
He trailed off, and Mizi finally spoke, “But?”
But Till already knew the answer. Ivan smiled, but it wasn’t mean. “You forgot your line,” he said. It wasn’t a question. Mizi startled, glancing at the script still laid out on the table. “An honest mistake. I didn’t want you getting chided for it, and I thought it’d work as a good enough distraction.”
It certainly had. Till could still feel the press of his lips – plush, but just a little dry.
“You did that for Till?” Mizi asked, sounding skeptical. Till couldn’t blame her; people in the industry rarely looked out for each other like that, nevertheless strangers.
Ivan nodded, his smile growing just a little wider. “I guess you could say I’m intrigued.” He extended a hand and Till took a second too long to move, realizing his intent. Ivan squeezed his hand. “I look forward to working together.”
Till envied his confidence. Technically, nothing was confirmed yet. But even he knew it wasn’t up in the air. Luka just liked making people sweat.
“Me too,” he said.
-
“Did you see Ivan’s manager?” Mizi asked the next day. Shooting wouldn’t start for a few weeks but she came over often just to hang out.
Till blinked. “The girl with the, uh, blue hair and piercing stare?”
He didn’t miss the way her mouth twitched, forming a smile for only a second. “Yeah.”
Till had recognized that smile, however brief. He looked back to the television. “You should go for it.”
“Wh – what?” she stammered, nearly spilling their bowl of popcorn. “I don’t – I mean – ”
He grinned, side-eyeing her. “I always knew you were into the stoic types.”
“She wasn’t – ” Mizi pursed her lips, looking down. “When you two were doing the read, you know how we all left? Well, we talked some.” Her cheeks were flushed, nearly the same shade of her regularly-dyed hair. “She was nicer than you’d think, looking at her.”
Till wasn’t sure how much he believed her. Everyone was nice to Mizi. She was just that kind of person. You would have to be pure evil to be mean to her. “I trust your judgment,” he said instead, reaching out and squeezing her arm.
She peered at him from under her eyelashes. “But what if it complicates things? Especially when you’ll be working with Ivan for the next few months. And I mean, I don’t even know if she’s, you know.”
“And you’ll never know if you don’t ask,” he replied, making sure to soften his voice. “And don’t worry about me, okay? I can take care of my own shit.”
-
Till was confident. It was something Mizi always said she admired about him; he knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to work for it.
But he was also well-aware of his own shortcomings. He could be testy and impatient, and didn’t always take being corrected or criticized well.
“What if I say something wrong?” he whined, standing in front of the oversized mirror in his living room.
Mizi glanced up from her phone. “Then you – and I know this is an abstract concept to you – but you apologize.”
Till glared at her through the mirror. “And what if he says something wrong?”
“You wait it out,” she replied just as easily. “I mean, he seemed nice enough at the chemistry read.” She set her phone aside, seemingly done with it for now. “He didn’t have to help you like that.”
Till felt his cheeks grow warm just remembering the kiss. In the moment, he had been able to control himself, too caught up in making sure he didn’t ruin the scene more or – worse – lose his role. But now, looking back, he couldn’t quite believe he had kissed Ivan.
It was always going to happen, Luka was right, if Ivan got the role but somehow that didn’t make it any easier to believe.
And he had gotten the role; Luka had called him this morning with the good news. After that, Till had thought about texting Ivan, congratulating him. They had exchanged numbers for a reason.
But he couldn’t quite work up the guts to do it.
He must’ve waited too long because eventually a text had popped up on his own phone from ‘Ivan’. (He had debated adding a heart before realizing that was asking for trouble.)
“Since we’ll officially be working together,” it had read, “I would like to get to know each other better.”
Till had mulled over how to respond for so long he had eventually texted Mizi instead for help. With her help, he had responded back with a simple, “How about brunch?”
He still wasn’t sure people actually used the word brunch in real life but he had trusted Mizi more than himself in the moment, and either way it worked out because Ivan said yes.
He said yes with a little :) to be precise and Till felt like his heart was going to burst. He was playing a dangerous game, he knew, letting himself feed into this when they were coworkers, nothing else, but he couldn’t help it.
And Mizi was enabling it.
After their conversation, Mizi had invited herself over to help him get ready. Fair enough, because without Hyuna he wasn’t really too sure how to do much more than throw on a shirt and jeans.
She had helped him with some basic makeup – a bit of eyeliner and gloss – then picked out his outfit for him, which he still wasn’t sure about.
It was brunch, after all, but she had picked out a long-sleeved silky blue shirt and black jeans. He felt a little overdressed but she had assured him it was perfect.
“I should get going,” she announced, tearing him out of his downward spiral. She jumped off the couch and walked over, peering in the mirror alongside him. “You look hot.”
Till snorted, shaking his head. “I used to dream of you hearing you say that.”
And it was true; when they had first met, when his career was still new and fresh, he had immediately developed a crush on her. Now, he was glad they were just friends. Now, they were so close it didn’t even feel weird joking about it.
Mizi winked playfully and patted him on the back. “Just be yourself.”
That was what he was afraid of.
-
Mizi left after that, which was expected – it was only an hour until Ivan was set to arrive – but being alone didn’t help his nerves at all.
Nearly exactly on the dot, Till’s doorbell rang. Old-fashioned, really, because most people just texted when they arrived.
Smoothing his shirt down in the mirror, and reminding himself this wasn’t a date, he walked over and opened the door.
Thankfully, he hadn’t been the only one to get dressed up. Ivan wore a long-sleeved black shirt, tucked neatly into dark blue slacks. His hair was swept back out of his face; if he wore makeup, it wasn’t obvious enough for Till to be able to tell but either way he was as stunning as ever.
Till realized – belatedly – that he had just been staring at him without saying anything for at least a minute. Flushing, he stepped out of the way, a silent invitation inside.
Just as he opened his mouth to say something, anything, Ivan was saying, “I almost feel bad for what I’m about to suggest,” he smiled, small, “considering how good you look.”
Till blinked once, twice. “Oh. Um. What?”
Stupid. He was so stupid.
“You obviously got dressed up intending to go out,” Ivan continued, still smiling with a hint of amusement dancing in his dark eyes, “which I know we discussed, but…”
Till swallowed; why was his mouth so dry? “But?”
“But,” Ivan tilted his head a little. “I can’t speak for you, of course, but getting recognized in public is daunting.”
Till was suddenly reminded of their differences. He’d been recognized a few times, sure, but undoubtedly nothing compared to what Ivan went through. His face was plastered everywhere – billboards, magazines, commercials – so no wonder he was tired of getting recognized everywhere he went.
Even if you didn’t know Ivan, you’d at least seen his face. And most people can’t control themselves around a celebrity, regardless of personal interest.
“I understand,” he said finally, not sure what else to say.
Ivan smiled a bit wider. “So do you mind?” Till wasn’t quite sure what he was asking, but thankfully he continued before he could make a fool of himself. “I know it must also be daunting to have a stranger in your apartment.”
The dots connected quickly, suddenly. Till didn’t even have to think about the answer. “I don’t mind at all,” he said, but then, “I just – well.” Warm in the face, he gestured weakly at his kitchen. “I don’t have much.”
“No problem,” Ivan was already pulling out his phone. “We can just order something.”
-
That was how they ended up on his couch, shoes thrown off, eating a pizza. It was oddly comfortable, even though Till kept catching himself staring at Ivan’s mouth.
It was hard not to remember the kiss. It had just been part of the script, albeit a little early. Not to mention, Ivan had only done it to save him from making a complete fool of himself.
But it was still hard to forget, or brush off. After all, Till had admired him (and possibly had a crush on him) for so long. He never imagined just meeting him, nevertheless anything more.
“Do I have something on my face?”
Ivan’s seemingly innocent question was what finally drew him back to reality.
Till startled, nearly dropping his slice of pizza. It was starting to get cold anyway. “Um. No. I mean. Your face is fine.”
He winced at his own words, cursing himself internally.
Ivan smiled – no, that was a smirk. “I’m glad to hear you think my face is ‘fine’.”
“Well, I mean, I didn’t – your face is more than fine,” Till stammered, even as he cursed himself more with each word.
For a moment, there was silence and Till was sure he had finally properly screwed things up. But then Ivan threw his head back and started laughing hard enough he shook the couch a little.
Once he quieted down, he gazed at Till with a crooked smile. “You’re funny.”
Till flushed. “I’m sure you hear that kind of stuff all the time.”
“Mmm,” Ivan tilted his head back and forth. “Yeah, but people are usually a lot more suave about it.” When Till frowned, he nudged him with his foot. “That’s a good thing. I prefer when people don’t try so hard.”
Till couldn’t fight back a smile even if he tried. “Oh.”
“I was gonna suggest we do a readthrough of the script tonight but,” Ivan checked his phone. “It’s getting late.”
Till tried to hide his disappointment. He was surprised how much he’d enjoyed Ivan’s company. He had hoped he would, of course, but he was never sure how these things would go. Like mentioned, he didn’t always get along with people easily. And Ivan was, well, Ivan.
Famous, beautiful, rich. Till expected him to be a lot more conceited or snobby. Most of the famous people Till met were like that, after all, but not Ivan. He was sweet. A little odd, but wasn’t everyone?
“Are you free next Friday?” Ivan asked.
Till didn’t even have to think. If he had plans, he would just have to reschedule.
“Um, probably,” he said, aiming for casual and probably failing.
Ivan smiled again; he had one fang that Till was starting to think was unfairly adorable. “We can meet, then, go over the script.”
“Sounds good.” Amazing, actually, but he didn’t dare seem too eager, even though he was starting to think Ivan wouldn’t mind.
-
“Soooo,” Mizi slung herself over the couch ungracefully. “How did it go, hmm?”
Till snorted, pushing her out of the way to sit down. “I – ” His smile fell. Mizi was quick to adapt, sitting up properly. She had always been good at adapting to his moods. “I think I might be screwed.”
“What?” she leaned in closer. “Did he do something?”
Till appreciated her concern, as unfounded as it was. “No, he was… he was great, actually. We ate pizza and talked about a lot of nothing. He mentioned coming over next Friday so we can actually go over the script.”
“So… what’s wrong?” She was frowning, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He couldn’t blame her.
He sighed, peering down at his hands folded together in his lap. “I think I could really like him, Mizi. Like… a lot.”
The thing was, he had never really liked someone before. He had certainly never dated. Beyond his short-lived crush on Mizi, passionate as it was, he had never even gotten the urge to date, or even do what a lot of other actors did and sleep around casually.
And now he was worried if he spent too much time with Ivan, that might change. Turn into something more than a crush from afar.
For a long moment, they were both silent. Finally, Mizi reached for his hands, cradling them gently.
“You are a really good person, Till.”
He rolled his eyes, an automatic response. She squeezed his hands harder.
“You always undervalue yourself, Till,” she continued, and he couldn’t look away from her determined gaze. “You act overconfident to make up for it, but I know you too well for that. You don’t know think someone like Ivan could ever like you but you fail to realize he’d be lucky to have you.”
He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “I – ”
But she apparently wasn’t finished, “I met with Sua.” She paused for a moment, like she was realizing something. “Ivan’s manager,” she clarified. “We really hit it off. She cares for Ivan like I care for you, I think.”
He just nodded, unsure where this was going but happy for her either way.
“I probably shouldn’t say this, it isn’t my place but,” she smiled, small, “I will, because I think you need to hear it. Apparently Ivan can’t stop talking about you. Sua said he’s never been so interested in another person. She even asked me about you.” Her smile widened a bit. “I only said good things, of course. I knew she was just worried.”
Till couldn’t believe it. He had also never known Mizi to lie, especially about serious stuff.
“But I – I can’t,” he stammered, looking down at their hands. “Even if he was interested,” which was so hard to believe he almost felt like he was dreaming, “I can’t risk it.”
Mizi ducked her head, forcing her eyes to meet again. “Why not?”
“You know why,” he said, and he wasn’t even embarrassed that he sounded like a petulant child. “I would be risking the movie. If we had a fight or – or broke up, I don’t know if I could pretend like nothing happened.”
He was making a lot of assumptions anyway; assuming Ivan was interested in something more, when maybe he just wanted something casual or temporary. But still the details didn’t matter. Either way, Till knew he couldn’t go back to acting like only coworkers.
“Till, I know you care about this movie,” she smiled again but there was something sad about the curve of her mouth, pitying. “But sometimes life is about taking chances. You can’t just depend on your career for happiness forever.”
He wanted to argue because he couldn’t find the words. Mizi squeezed his hands even tighter. It was almost painful but also oddly comforting.
“What if you got a role a few years from now – your dream role – but then suddenly you were kicked off the cast.” Till waited, knowing she wasn’t finished. “You would be devastated, obviously, but you would be even more devastated if you had to go home to an empty apartment.”
Till licked his lips; when did they get so dry?
“Plenty of people are satisfied never having a partner. Dating.”
Mizi rolled her eyes. “I know that but I also know you’re not one of them, Till.”
She really did know him too well. “But we’re both famous, Mizi, and he’s – he’s a household name. If we dated, we couldn’t keep it from the public for too long. Someone would find out.”
“And that is something worth discussing,” she finally released his hands, choosing instead to squeeze his wrist. “With him.”
Till suddenly felt like crying. He didn’t, but his eyes burned. “What if we’re wrong? Even Sua?”
“Then you can come to me and cry it out.” She smiled, warm and sincere.
It was a decent enough backup plan. Without warning, he lunged forward and hugged her. “Have I said recently how you are the best manager in the world?”
“You don’t have to tell me, I already know.”
-
Till decided not to rush it, even if Mizi suggested texting Ivan and setting a closer date to see each other again.
When Friday finally rolled around, he felt like he was going to be sick.
He made a point to not dress up, just a pair of his usual jeans and a black t-shirt. If this was going to happen, he wanted to be sure it was because Ivan really liked him. Not because he thought he looked good enough to settle for.
A few minutes after 12, his doorbell rang.
Brushing by the mirror without looking, he opened the door. Ivan had apparently had the same thought; he looked as gorgeous as last time, obviously, but he was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans too with a thin jacket. His hair also wasn’t slicked back, hanging loosely around his face.
He also had a bag, probably to carry around the script and whatever else he might need.
Like last time, they ordered food and ended up on the couch. This time, however, they had the scripts. Till noticed a ton of highlighted parts in Ivan’s copy; maybe he shouldn’t have assumed he just had a natural gift for memorizing things. He had obviously worked just as hard.
For a while, they just rehearsed through the easy parts. Didn’t bother acting any of the parts out just yet.
Most of that stuff – gestures, movements – would be changed before they actually started filming anyway so Till didn’t usually worry about it, just focused on the actual dialogue.
But then they flipped the page and Till saw it: the scene where they kissed. The actual scene.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. When Till finally chanced a look up, he noticed Ivan was already looking at him.
“Do you usually practice these parts?” Ivan asked.
Till tried to decipher his voice, his expression, but it was all perfectly neutral.
“Sometimes,” he answered, because it was true. “Makes it less awkward later.” But other actors preferred keeping any kissing strictly in front of the camera. Till didn’t really have a preference.
Ivan hummed thoughtfully. “Well then, I’m up for it, if you are.”
He could almost hear Mizi in his head, telling him he shouldn’t do this. He should confess, first, otherwise it wasn’t fair. To him or Ivan. And he would confess tonight. He had already made that decision but…
Couldn’t he be just a little selfish first?
“Sure.” Understatement of the century.
Collecting their scripts, Till set them aside on the coffee table and was relieved when Ivan made the first move to scoot closer. He still couldn’t quite read his face, perfectly blank.
“Let me know if you want to stop,” Ivan said, a hand already reaching out and settling on Till’s neck, warm and heavy.
Till was pretty sure Ivan could’ve done anything to him in that moment and he still wouldn’t have asked him to stop, but he appreciated the sentiment.
Not trusting his voice, Till just gave a tiny nod and that seemed to be enough for Ivan. He leaned forward, slowly, like he was giving Till the chance to stop him if he wanted to.
He didn’t.
Finally their lips touched, just a gentle press. Ivan’s lips were even softer than he remembered, warmer too. The script didn’t detail the kiss; that would be decided later with help from the director but – Till supposed Ivan was preparing for everything as he tilted his head, pressing their lips together with a bit more fervor.
Hardly complaining, Till kissed back, scooting a little closer. That should’ve been it. Given the scene, it was doubtful the kiss was going to be anything more than this.
But Ivan didn’t pull away, and Till wasn’t going to be the first to end it.
Opening his eyes, he finally wasn’t surprised for once to find Ivan already staring back at him. What was difference, however, was the look in his eyes. Intense, but somehow warm.
Till felt a shiver down his spine and decided this was it. Words had never been his specialty. Moving quickly, he shifted up onto his knees and swung a leg over Ivan to settle on the other side, kissing him the entire time.
Only once he was settled, straddling him, did he finally pull back. “Is this okay?”
Ivan’s eyes were always dark, nearly black, but this was something else. “Depends,” he replied, low but steady. He lifted his hands, placing them on Till’s hips. “Is this okay?”
Instead of replying with words, Till just leaned in and kissed him again. This kiss was immediately different from the first, filthy and almost aggressive. Ivan bit at his bottom lip, just the edge of too hard, and Till let out a sound in the back of his throat that was outright embarrassing.
He only pulled back for air when he absolutely had to, panting a little to catch his breath. Ivan’s eyes were half-lidded; he somehow looked the best he ever had. Till swallowed. This was his chance.
“I have something to confess,” he forced the words out before he could reconsider.
Ivan blinked, once, almost immediately looking more alert. “What?” His hands shifted on his hips but didn’t pull away. “Do you want to stop?”
“Quite literally the opposite,” he replied, feeling nearly delirious. This was it. “I know this is – probably not what you want at all, and I’m probably reading too much into everything, and – and I know this could get in the way of the movie, I’m not an idiot, but I think I would really regret not saying it.”
Ivan squeezed his hips, then, and it was enough to make him feel a little more grounded. “You’re kind of scaring me here, Till.”
He stared at Ivan for a moment, appreciating every detail of his face, before he took a deep breath, “I think I could end up liking you.” He paused, letting the words settle properly in the silence between them. “A lot.”
Till wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The silence lingered so long he was starting to feel an ache in his chest.
Without a word, he went to move off Ivan’s lap but his hands tightened around his waist. “Stay,” he said, the softest Till had ever heard his voice.
“You don’t have to try and – and placate me,” Till stammered, but he didn’t try to move again. “I’m not gonna be mad at you for not feeling the same way.”
Ivan opened his mouth, closed it. Till watched his face flicker through about ten different emotions before suddenly he was kissing him again, hard and messy. Till gasped into his mouth, surprised – confused – but hardly disappointed.
He curled his fingers in Ivan’s hair, eyelashes fluttering. He could do this forever. He also knew he needed a real answer.
He deserved that.
Mustering all his courage, he pulled back. Ivan stared up at him with a newfound intensity. He forced himself to speak around the lump in his throat, “I’ve admired you for a long time. I know that might not be – appealing, in this context. But I don’t think that has anything to do with what I’ve felt since we met.”
Ivan continued to stare at him. Till gulped.
“You’re just not what I expected,” he paused. “In a really good way, and I’ve never done this before. Not just with another actor. Or, uh, coworker. I mean, like at all.”
The corner of Ivan’s mouth started to quirk up. “You’re cute.”
“Oh.” Till flushed. “Thank you?”
Ivan let out a soft laugh; gently, he moved Till off him. Under different circumstances, he might’ve overthought what that meant but Ivan was still smiling, warm and small.
“Are you asking me out, Till?” he asked, not even trying to hide the mirth in his eyes.
He supposed he was, in a way. “I mean, that’s – that’s assuming a lot. I just, I wanted to let you know. I didn’t – ” He hadn’t expected anything, he meant to say, but he suddenly stopped, finally connecting the dots. “Wait. Does that mean – ?”
Ivan leaned against the back of the couch, watching him with that same sparkle in his eyes. “I liked you the second I set my eyes on you,” the confession felt like igniting fire in Till’s very core. “I wasn’t sure why, at first. I’d never felt that way before, and we barely knew each other.”
Till didn’t dare speak; he didn’t trust his voice anyway.
“But you’re… different,” Ivan hummed. “I can’t quite put my finger on it.” He smiled, that fang poking out again. Till wanted to feel it against his lip again. “And frankly, I don’t really care to.”
He paused, reaching out. Till didn’t even think twice, moving as if commanded by something out of his control. Ivan held his hand gently, thumb pressing into his knuckles, not hard but comforting. Grounding, like he somehow knew Till felt a little untethered.
“But I’m assuming you know by now I can’t promise you this won’t get out. Even when you’re surrounded by people you think you can trust, it’s not quite true in our line of work, is it?”
Till had already went over this in his head. “I don’t mind. I think it’s worth the risk.”
“We should at least keep it between us,” Ivan said softly, and Till wasn’t sure yet what he was going to say next. If he wanted to keep this hidden because he was ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with him. But then – “Just until the movie is done shooting. I don’t want them to project or assume anything just because we’re together.”
Till nodded. “I agree,” he said, meaning it. It was the smart move. “And if anything happens, if this doesn’t work, I need us to be on the same page.”
“I hope we won’t have to worry about that,” Ivan replied, “but the fact you even want to discuss it...” He smiled again, almost approvingly. Till didn’t want to admit how much that did for his confidence. “I promise you won’t have anything to worry about from my end. I could even give you something to use against me, if it would give you peace of mind.”
Till let out a sudden laugh, surprised by the odd offer. But just as Ivan kept saying he was different, he was starting to think Ivan’s oddness was what had really captivated him. “I’ll just have to take your word for it,” he said, still smiling.
-
They never ended up having to worry about. Months later, when the movie was wrapping up, they all celebrated by having dinner at Ivan’s house. The place had always been beautiful, from the very first time Till had seen it, but now it felt more like a proper home.
Pictures lined the walls that used to be empty, mostly of the two of them, but some were just of Till. He complained about them, sometimes, embarrassed but secretly he liked it.
Some were of all of them – Ivan, arms wrapped around Till. Mizi and Sua, heads tilted together.
Till was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. Or maybe he just should’ve been more hopeful when he was younger because sometimes he still struggled to believe this was real.
Sitting at the table, Ivan on his left and Mizi on his right, he wondered what he had done to end up lucky enough to have met both of them.
Or maybe Ivan was right, as he always liked to say: “You deserve good things, Till.”
Till still remembered the first time he’d said it when they were laid out in his bed. He had kissed Till’s forehead and he had suddenly felt the urge to cry, eyes burning.
Maybe, just maybe, he was finally starting to believe it.
“Can you believe they still haven’t figured it out?” Mizi was saying, giggling around the rim of her wine glass. “’How is their chemistry so good?’” she said, repeating what the director had said earlier.
Till hadn’t really heard him. He’d been too busy kissing Ivan with as much fervor as he kissed him every night. He supposed there were benefits, actually, to dating your costar.
Sua smiled at her side. “You can’t blame him. I’m surprised they were actually able to keep it hidden until the end of filming.”
Till chanced a glance at Ivan, who was already staring back at him. He smiled. Ivan smiled back, giving a nod.
“About that, actually,” Till cleared his throat. “We are planning to disclose that we’re dating. Not how long, obviously, but… we thought it might make things easier, especially since Ivan can’t stop complaining about wanting to take me places and not being able to.”
Mizi smiled, shifting to take Sua’s hand where it was resting atop the table.
“We’re happy for you.” She glanced at Ivan. “Both of you.”
-
At the end of the night, Till was surprised to have Mizi pull him away from Ivan’s side. She walked them to the edge of the porch, grasping his hands tightly in her own.
“I know this is going to be cheesy and you’ll hate every second of it,” she said, “but I just really need to say it.”
Till tilted his head with a confused smile.
“I used to worry about you.” She squeezed his hands tighter. “You always acted like you were fine on your own but I just – I could tell you had so much love to give and for a while I almost felt guilty, turning you down.”
Till tensed, already opening his mouth, but she continued, “I know you never wanted me to, and you never did anything to make me feel that. I promise. It was just – normal concern for a friend, okay?”
She gently shook their hands, smiling now. “But now I see you with Ivan and… Till, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy.”
He couldn’t fight the smile off his own face, small and sincere. He stared down at their hands. “I – ” He paused, swallowed around the lump in his throat. He hadn’t even said this to Ivan, yet, but somehow it felt right. Saying it, now, to Mizi first. “I think I love him.”
For a long moment, there was silence. When he finally glanced up, Mizi wasn’t looking at him. She was staring over his shoulder, eyes a little wide, and –
He dropped her hands and spun around. Ivan stood there, frozen with his hand in the air like he had just been about to tap his shoulder. Mizi squeaked and scooted past them, rushing to join Sua at the other end of the porch.
“I was going to ask if you were cold,” Ivan said, dropping his hand. It was chilly out, middle of autumn now, and Ivan knew he ran cold. The simple but sweet gesture made his heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest.
Till just nodded, not trusting his voice. Ivan shucked off his jacket and moved to wrap it around his frame.
“I didn’t want you hear that,” Till said finally, clutching the jacket to keep it from falling. “I was going to tell you soon. Just needed the right moment. I know it’s probably too soon or I don’t know, I don’t really know how to gauge these things – ”
Ivan moved, smooth but fast, wrapping an arm around his waist and drawing him in close enough to tip their foreheads together. If he remembered they still had company present, he didn’t seem phased by it. “I don’t believe in there being a right time for anything,” he breathed softly. “I love you, Till.”
He smiled so big he knew his cheeks were going to hurt later. He didn’t care. Happiness was worth it. “Good,” he said before cupping both sides of Ivan’s face and kissing him.
It reminded him a lot of their first kiss but this time the roles were reversed. Ivan seemed surprised for just a second before he smiled against his lips, tugging him even closer.
When they separated, Till was breathless. He wasn’t complaining.
“I hate to say this,” he let out a shaky laugh, still catching his breath, “but I think we need to send a thank you card or something.”
Ivan raised an eyebrow, searching his face. “To who?”
“I’ll tell you later,” he replied before moving in to kiss him again. He heard Sua’s groan from across the porch. Ivan laughed against his mouth.
-
A week before they left for their first vacation, just a couple days after the news of them dating had hit the media, Till went to the store and picked out a card. It was the vaguest card he could find in the store, just a simple “thank you” with a smiley face on the front. He signed it just as simply – Ivan and Till – and left it like that. He trusted Luka to figure it out.
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bunnyywritings · 6 months ago
Text
in chat shenanigans with the zombie hunter and honey bunny
AKIRA TENDO x F!READER
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[a/n: day 3! technically, suguru was supposed to be today's upload but tumblr ate my draft :( so here's akira instead...i'm working on the suguru one as quick as i can to upload it tomorrow but it's like 4am and i should sleep...sorry if anyone was waiting for suguru, it's coming, i promise! there also seems to be almost no fics for zom 100...so hopefully there's others that love akira as much as i do ! enjoy! p.s this is also significantly shorter than my other fics on this event and i hadn't noticed until now ]
© bunnyywritings pls don't use my headers or writing without permission
wc: 2.1k words
WARNINGS: voyeur, kencho is listening to y'all, blowjob, backshots, spanking, thighjob, cockwarming, no use of y/n, reader is called: bunny, baby, my girl, good girl, honey
“Have you played this game before?” Akira asked, amused as he watched you struggle with the controls, your character bumping into anything and everything. 
“No…don’t laugh at me!” You huffed and he could hear your pout over the headset. 
“I’m nooooot-” He giggled, stretching his words out. “I’m not…I swear!” 
“You fucking liar…I can hear your giggling, I can basically see your feet kicking!” You accused, increasing his laughter into infectious chortles. 
After a little lull and a few rounds of the game, Akira cleared his throat. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 
“Uhhh yeah! Are you?” 
“Mhmm, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages and I’m getting my dick sucked? That’s like the perfect day!” He teased, faking a douche-y frat boy tone. 
“Oh ha ha.” You stated flatly, rolling your eyes playfully. 
The next afternoon came quite quickly, and you found yourself standing outside of Akira’s apartment. He threw his door open and pulled you into a warm bear hug. “Finally!” His lips smattered stray kisses all over your neck. 
“A-Aki! Stop! That-that tickles!” You screeched, squirming in his hold. 
“Mmm okay! Okay, come on.” He grinned, welcoming you into his apartment.
You inspected his set up in the living room as you slipped out of your shoes.
“Oh hey, that’s the game we were playing last night.” Your eyes brightened at the idle menu screen on the tv. The familiar gentle and eerie soundtrack filtering through the speakers. “Are you sure it’s sexy getting head while playing a zombie fps?” 
“Nah, it’ll be fine! With the headset, the mics won’t pick up the sound effects or anything. And I think head is sexy whenever and wherever.” He shrugged, making your scoff a laugh and shake your head.
“Of course you do…” 
So, Akira sat at one end of the couch, Kencho on his headset as they played the game together. 
“Okay…wait! No, Kencho! Don’t be a coward…save me!” He laughed, watching Kencho’s character be chased by a horde of zombies. Firing his pistol wildly into the horde while Akira’s character was down, injured by jumping from a platform that was too high, all he needed was for his friend to come give him a med boost. 
“Aww man! How did you die so quickly!” 
The steady clicking of the joycons and buttons filtered through the otherwise quiet room, save for the soft indie instrumental in the background. 
After a few moments of banter between the two, you stepped out of the room. Hair slightly mussed up, changed into plaid pj pants and one of Tendo’s shirts. 
“There she is. Have a good nap, baby?” He spoke gently, a dopey smile on his face as he held the remote in one hand and held out his other arm out
“Mhmm…” You yawned, taking his invitation and climbing into his lap. Snuggling into his warmth as his arm wrapped around your waist, grasping the plump flesh of your hip.
“Yeah…yeah, she was napping…uhhuh, yeah!” He placed a kiss underneath your ear. “Kencho says, hi.” 
You giggled, his breath tickling your ear. You squirmed, raising your voice a little bit. “Hi Cho!” 
Settling into him, it was hard to ignore the throbbing between your legs. Feeling him chub up underneath you was also making it a thousand times harder to not start grinding against him. 
So, you did the first thing that came to mind. 
As he continued to play, laughing and talking to his friend, you started to kiss the underside of his jaw. Trailing down the warm skin of his neck. 
His pulse was thrumming beneath his skin, fighting the way his eyes wanted to flutter shut as your soft, plush lips hungrily sucked marks into his neck. “F-fuck, bunny…”  He muttered, cheeks flushing as Kencho laughed in his ear, teasing his moans. “My girl woke up needy, hm? S’that it?” 
“Mhmm…” You hummed, pushing his arm off you and sliding off his lap. He watched “curiously” as you dropped to your knees between his spread thighs.
You placed your finger to your lip in a playful warning and gripped the waistband of his tented sweats. 
Attempting to focus on the game, he lifted his lips to aid you in pulling them off of him, before he settled back into the couch cushions. His cock stood at full attention, his pretty pink tip was shiny and slick with pre-cum. You licked your lips, watching him shiver as you raked your nails down his thighs, his dick twitching the slightest bit. An amused huff leaving your lips before you kissed the side of his knee before resting your head on his thigh and gazing up at him. 
“So pretty…” He mutters, forgetting about the game in its entirety. His hand resting on the crown of your head, caressing your hair and abandoning the remote somewhere that would elude him later. The reverence in his tone made you shiver, you looked so innocent, gazing up at him with those wide, doe eyes. 
You took him in one hand, stroking him a few times before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the shaft, another to his tip before tapping him against your lips. He groaned, his hand tightening its grip in your hair. 
Kissing his tip once more before finally wrapping your lips around him, the heady and salty taste of his arousal coating your tongue as you swirled it around the sensitive skin. “Oh my god…”  
You squeezed your thighs together as you took him deeper into your mouth. His thighs twitched as his cock poked at the back of your throat, the warm and wet heat of your mouth wrapped around him was overwhelming. 
As you bobbed your head in a steady pace, Akira couldn’t help the whines leaving his throat. “Huh?” his eyebrows furrowed as Kencho’s voice rang through his ear, “Oh yeahhh man…” He sighed a groan. “She feels so good wrapped around my cock-ah” His hips jolted as a sharp gag left your throat, pulling off of him and taking him in your hand again. The wet shlick! shlick! with every up and down stroke of your palm reached Kencho through the mic. “She’s so messy, Cho…mhmm-oh shit!” You took him in your mouth once again, taking him as deep as you could. Your nose reaching his pelvis as you held yourself down on him, your hands gripped on his knees. The sensation of your throat constricting around him, “She’s such a sloppy bunny, taking me so well.” His hips thrusted up into you, trying to push himself incredibly deeper. The sloppy squelches of your throat increased, your hand slipping into your pajama pants and past the waistband of your underwear, moaning around him when your fingertips met your swollen clit. 
“Doing so good for me, baby…so good!” He was feeling his release near as your voice vibrated against his length and with a wet slurp! you pulled off until it was just his mushroom tip between your lips, suckling gently while stroking the rest of him with your hand. 
The suction your lips created was what snapped the coil, his whines increased as released ropes of his thick cum against your tongue. “I’m cumming, oh fuck! Feels so good, baby! Thank you…ngh!” He gasped sharply as you cleaned him up, making sure not to waste a single drop before finally pulling him out of your mouth. Making a show of swallowing his spend before opening your tongue and sticking your tongue out as proof. 
That’s when he finally noticed that you were grinding against your hand. 
“My poor baby…c’mere.” His chest was heaving as he attempted to catch his breath. You stood up on shaky legs, pulling your hand out of your pants. He gripped your wrist and brought your hand towards his face, wrapping his lips around your slick covered middle and ring finger. Swirling his tongue around the digits. 
“A-Aki…please…” You whimpered. 
He smirked around your fingers before pulling them out of his mouth. “Shh, shh…” He cooed. “I’ll take care of you. Take care of my bunny.” He cupped your cheek before pulling you into a tender kiss. The taste of his essence lingering between your lips, wincing a cute moan as you reached down and stroked his length. His lips parted against yours, “You’re-you’re gonna kill me.” He groaned. 
“Sorry.” You laughed, “Couldn’t help it.” 
You pulled your pj pants off before kneeling onto the couch, bending over the back of it. “Here you go.” He slipped the headset onto your ears, “Kencho’s getting lonely.” 
Through the headset, you could hear the wet sounds of him stroking his cock, moans leaving him in a steady stream. He watched your entrance clench, amused at how clearly you enjoyed being heard. 
Gripping the base of his length, he rubbed his sensitive head against your swollen bud. “Damn…bunny, you’re soaking wet. All this for me? Hmm?” 
“All for you Aki, pussy’s all yours…j-just please, please fuck-oh my…” He cut off your desperate rambling as he bullied his way into your gummy cunt. 
“Shit…squeezin’ me so tight…” 
‘d’you like being fucked, bunny? like being stuffed full for anyone to hear?’ Kencho grunted, your moans dizzying to both men.
“Mhmm, I-Ilove it! Love being so full-” Akira pulled out almost all the way before snapping his hips forward and sheathing himself in you once more. “Aki!” You hugged the back of the couch, arching your back as he started canting his hips at a mind melting pace.
“Go on, bunny. T-Tell Kencho how it feels.” He instructed, bringing his hand down against the fat of your ass.
You could feel every inch of his length as he gripped your waist with both hands, squeezing roughly as he pulled you back onto his dick. “So b-big…feels so good…so good K-Kencho!” 
‘yeah baby? is tendo making you feel good?’ 
“C-Can’t think str-straight…oh my god, Aki! Right there, right-” You gasped, his abuse of your g-spot was making your thighs quiver. 
He kept his pace as he leaned forward and snatched the headphones off your head, and brought just the microphone to his lips. “Sorry buddy, we’ll call you back.” 
And with that, he tossed it somewhere he couldn’t bring himself to care, continuing to fuck into your sloppy cunt before leaning forward and completely encasing you with his body. 
The couch groaned and squeaked with each slow and heavy thrust. “You’re so cute, baby…hah you feel so tight…squeezing me so good.” He reached around and started to rub fast, tight circles into your clit. 
You gripped onto the cushions so tight, you thought they would tear. Pleasure spiking in your gut as your toes curled. “M’cumming…Aki, I-I’m cumming! Fuck!” 
You spasmed around him, your release completely soaking him. “That’s it, goood girl…that’s it…” He cooed, grinding into you to help you ride out your high before pulling out, ignoring your whine of disappointment. 
He helped reposition you on your side, teasing your oversensitive clit before slipping into the space between your thighs. “Mmm love these thighs, honey…so soft-shit!” 
He was slipping against your slit so easily, your release sticky between your legs. You jolted each time his tip caught against your sensitive bud. Sobs of overstimulation leaving your lips. “Oh bunny, I know…I know.” He cooed. “M’almost there, I-I’m gonna-” You flexed your thighs and that was that. “I’m cumming…oh bunny, I-!” 
With one final thrust, he stilled against the backs of your thighs, his release coating your inner thighs and lower stomach. 
You slumped back against the cushions with a pitched sigh, your whole body felt like it was on fire. 
Slowly, he removed himself and settled onto the couch, coaxing you back on his lap. “Aki…I don’t think I can-” Your pulse thrummed as you noticed how hard he still was. 
“I just wanna be warm, bunny. Lemme slip it in, no funny business.” 
“Hmm…okay. No funny business.” You eyed him skeptically, hovering above him before slowly dropping yourself back onto his thick cock. “F-Fuck…” You whimpered, straddling him properly and wrapping your arms around him, face buried in his chest. 
“Take another nap, bunny.” He grabbed his spare control and held it behind you, resting it slightly against your lower back. “I’ll be right here.” He turned to kiss the side of your head, lingering there before sitting back into the couch and continuing to play where he left off.
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subscribers:
@seireiteihellbutterfly @xxstarlightxx @indieburn
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fablepaint · 2 months ago
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Hi Fable, I wanted to ask a question about how you deal with drawing things to scale? My assumption is that as you draw more and more, you get better at just going with your instincts, but I was wondering if you have certain strategies to make sure the things you're drawing aren't out of scale?
Another related question: How do you go about making sure animations are drawn to the same scale consistently? (I'm not 100% sure how to phrase this second question. Hopefully, it makes sense!)
If you mean drawing characters on model, practice. Tracing models and practicing drawing stuff from life to train my eye. Noticing the differences between what I drew and real life and telling myself to pay more attention to those aspects next round.
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If you mean scale like drawing a character beside a car and not having it look weird, then reference. Also logic. If the character can't physically sit in the vehicle without looking comic, then it's probably not the right size. If it doesn't look like they can use anything in the environment, then think more carefully about yourself in your environment. And note how the size of things is meant to accommodate the average person's height.
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I'm very short, so that part sucks! Everything is huge to me. But I usually draw people who are taller than me, so they don't have that issue. Lucky them :3
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If you mean drawing characters proportionally, then use body parts to reference their scale. Humans for example have skulls that are all roughly the same size no matter their height. There's some variation, but only at the extremes will you find a difference of say, an inch or two. Cuz our brains aren't that different in size. And the variation is usually just in jaw size more than the rest of the skull. Hormone differences also contribute to this, but again it's not really that extreme relative to say, dogs.
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So if your characters look weirdly out of proportion to each other, then make sure their head sizes aren't too out of whack. That's probably why one looks like a baby and the other looks like a CLAMP character.
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If they're getting wildly out of scale in every drawing, note how many heads tall the character is. IRL, humans are about 6 to 8 heads tall (or less, if you're me! And then all your characters look short cuz you kept referencing yourself in the mirror)
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Hope one of those answers helps!
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when-wax-wings-melt · 1 month ago
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Keeper of the Lost Cities: A Love-Hate-Love Relationship, And What It Can Do To Your Psyche 
This is the essay you guys wanted to see after this presentation dropped; to be clear, this is the final draft. The presentation was made from the rough draft, so it's rather different.
Also, the essay prompt was to make it personal. So the italicized bits are where I was trying to do that, and they are both separate and a part of the essay. They break up the flow, but are also a response to the normal bits of the essay. You get it. Here we go.
In total, the Keeper of The Lost Cities (KOTLC) series by Shannon Messenger has over 7000 pages, split between nine and a half books (Book 8.5 was, uselessly, a novella) with a planned tenth coming in late 2024. It’s the kind of series that hooks you the same way a fisherman hooks a fish: with a promise of a treat that goes very, very unfulfilled. This is to say: KOTLC is a good series, at least at first. It’s certainly been my core obsession for a good (or bad) five years. It’s a hook because you can’t escape once you’ve begun. It’s my own personal brand of heroine, as Edward Cullen might say if Bella were a too-long book series that doesn’t resolve any plotlines or character arcs and instead piles more information on top of worldbuilding until contradictions are more plentiful than the packed main cast.
KOTLC is a good series, but the idea of recommending it feels like I’d be violating several articles of the Geneva Convention. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and yet the thought of it ending is an impossibility on the scale of the apocalypse and I hope (I’d rather) the world ends before this series does. KOTLC is a minefield of sloppy worldbuilding, deeply compelling characters, and---where am i without it?---bits of myself woven into the many, many words, sinking under my skin and revealing what I think I have to offer. 
Sophie Foster is the protagonist of the series, trudging the long, never-ending path to what hopefully will be a happy ending. Like the author, Sophie has blonde hair and brown eyes, making her unique among her fellow elves, who all have blue eyes, including the rare-among-the-main-cast people of color.
There are so many things that make Sophie weird, strange, unique, attractive to every boy who sees her, and otherwise out of the ordinary: for example, she has five special abilities that allow her to teleport, read minds, inflict pain, speak any language, and enhance the abilities of others---i cannot do what she can, but she breathes and i do too---There are certain things she has very much in common with her fellow elves, such as her slender build and flawless skin, but much more makes her, as her childhood bullies would say, “A Special Sophie-Flake.”
Sophie was raised by humans, which not only means that the steadily growing pile of unique traits is now tottering dangerously above my head, but also that she’s clumsy and wildly insecure. This insecurity has a purpose and a source, making it one of the most annoyingly (and terrifyingly) accurate depictions of teenage anxiety in middle-grade media (if I were a vampire pulled from normal vampire lore rather than Twilight and I looked at her, I’d be invisible)---so do you get it? do i? 
which one of us is me---Sophie has intense imposter syndrome, never believing she’s worthy of the overwhelming support, approval, and desire heaped upon her throughout her years in the Lost Cities. In Book One, four teenage boys were no less than obsessed with her, possibly because she, presumably, talked to them sometimes. Valin, a “drooly boy” (named due to his constant drooling, as one might expect), is forced to ballroom dance with Sophie in detention, and later gives her a card and a bracelet professing his admiration. Dex Dizznee manages to sustain his crush until he finally makes his move in Book Six, and is rejected in humiliation after she kisses him to make him realize his feelings aren’t actually real---when I know that he was lying to himself, is lying to himself. truth is a phase and it ends once you hit age eight---After Book Six, only two remain: Fitz and Keefe, each of whom has made their crushes very, desperately, embarrassingly clear to someone who very clearly returns both sets of feelings.
“Sooner or later you're going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?” (Messenger Neverseen), notes Keefe, with his usual subtle confession of his feelings---only leaving me with questions: did he want her to know at all? is he chasing the person or the change? the girl or the excitement? the wanting or the wanted?---The love polygon of however many vertices is both acknowledged and not by Sophie— she’s aware of her feelings for Fitz from chapter two of Book One, becomes aware of her feelings for Keefe in Book Nine, and mentally friend-zones Dex every other sentence, even when it’s not really relevant to the rest of her inner monologue. Her inability to believe with confidence that she might be worthy of a crush (or any sort of positive acknowledgment) is layered beneath every thought where she considers the possibility of being liked, and then promptly dismisses it.
---she knows that admitting it means being wrong. i will be wrong, unless i guess right and am big-headed, full of myself. who am i---
Sophie’s oblivious nature stems from her human upbringing, directly resulting from the trauma of developing the ability to read minds at age five. She hears her parents wishing she were normal or better at making friends and fitting in, her sister complaining about her presence, and her classmates at school judging everything she does.
She sticks out like a sore thumb in the human world, only to come to the elven world and be called a freak, malfunctioning, a genetic experiment, and a failure, just when she thought she might fit in---when i am a puzzle piece, a corner without the connection---Her alienation in the human world (referred to as the Forbidden Cities in the series) comes from her level of success, skipping five grades due to her elven intelligence and photographic memory, and getting into Harvard at age twelve.
While she hates the combination of jealousy and admiration she’s constantly showered with there---who hates it and loves it at the same time? isolation and contradiction---in the elven world, she’s hated for other reasons: accidentally breaking laws, making mistakes, or simply being a blip on the seemingly perfect streak the elven world has for peace and security. Is there any mystery as to why she would never believe that people actually, genuinely care for her? She’s formed her protective coating of denial that lasts her through every time Fitz gives her a gift and she convinces herself it means nothing, or every time Dex shows his jealousy, or every time Keefe goes to her before anyone else.
Even when she kisses Dex, after he tells her in anything but words that he likes her, she doubts herself—are two sides of the same coin, where heads is insecurity and tails is egotism. question: who is she?---She doesn’t think he actually likes her, appreciates her, admires her. This doubt works its way into everything she does, every relationship she has, platonic, romantic, or otherwise. Yet again, she shows her status as a reflection---answer: she’s a mirror. i know who i am because she exists---reading into everything and still not believing or trusting that it truly exists outside of her imagination.
Any time Sophie sees a girl she perceives as prettier, more elegant, or smarter than she is, she instantly develops a jealousy complex—relating either to how Fitz acts around them, or how they project the confidence and normalcy she wishes she can achieve---to tell me whether or not i am alone---She surrounds herself with people who are described as incredibly stunning even in a world where every elf naturally matches the ideal Western beauty standard.
Yet she refuses to believe that she, too, might be beautiful, and instead considers herself dull and boring next to Biana, Linh, Marella, and Maruca---(and ten books later, i still do not have an answer)---Even Stina, who has committed the number one crime (it’s a federal offense) of having “a mass of frizzy curls” (KOTLC 164), is considered beautiful when her hair is “tamed” and slicked back. This framing of beauty applies to the boys, too, but none of Sophie’s descriptions are quite as detailed, quite as admiring, or quite as wistful as when she’s describing Biana Vacker’s heart-shaped, perfectly glossed lips---so, yes, i look at her and see myself. is that what i’m trying to say? is that what i am?---
But the queer-coding doesn’t stop (or begin, really) with Sophie’s dedicated denial of both her worth as a human being and her desire to kiss her pretty girl friends. A connection called a “Cognate Bond” is often referred to in the text as the closest two elves can become, emotionally and mentally.
Cognates exist when two Telepaths (such as Sophie) have such a deep and unbreakable trust bond that they become more skilled together than they were apart. In creating and maintaining this bond, they have to complete trust exercises and not hold back secrets keeping them from total confidentiality---she thrives on secrets---Sophie’s cognate is her friend (and love interest, and, debatably, ex-boyfriend) Fitz, whose romantic relationship was in a large part focused on their cognate one. Their trust exercises involve staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, having matching rings, and Fitz telling Sophie that she’s the only person he can truly trust.
Fitz also asks his father at one point if cognates are allowed to date each other— his father affirms the statement. Notably, Alden has the authority to do so since he himself was a cognate, only undergoing a nasty breakup— sorry, only losing the bond, after his cognate, Quinlin, kept too many secrets. It’s implied that two other characters were once almost Cognates, only to grow too far apart when one of them, Prentice, had his sanity forcibly shattered and was locked in prison, leaving his (gay lover) best friend, Tiergan, to raise his son---while cognatedom thrives on truth, and also regret, and also the denial of both---The choice to parallel Fitz/Sophie, Alden/Quinlin, and Tiergan/Prentice was possibly not a conscious one but it still resonates with hundreds of queer teen readers who look at the portrayal of utter devotion and trust between two men and think, Wow. This is what I see in myself---but without the denial, without the regret, what are we left with? what do we see?
we see the truth.
We see ourselves.
There are so, so many other issues that I could easily delve into in this series (such as the strangely Western portrayal of gender roles, the racism concerning the Song family, irresponsible adults and the ethics of genetic experimentation, the girlboss and cardboardification of quite literally every woman, etc) and just as many things that make Keeper of the Lost Cities worth it (Fitz’s anger, the development of villains, Sophie’s trans-coding, Keefe’s trauma, physical ramifications of guilt, Marella and Fintans’ pyrokinesis/queer-coding, whatever Dimitar has going on, etc).
The series tends to skew to the “not good” side, although on occasion it will topple abruptly into the “incredible work of art and exploration of wildly interesting character dynamics” before rising like an angel back to heaven into its original position as “questionable in terms of taste.” Mostly, what defines KOTLC is how it’s interpreted rather than the content itself. Someone far different (and with far worse taste) than I might see Fitz’s quest for vengeance and call him a red flag in elven form, while I call it a ridiculously interesting exploration of what grief, near idol worship, toxic standards, and guilt can do to a teenage boy past his limit.
But I am not the voice of the fandom (even though I definitely should be). I look at Sophie Foster and see myself, but that does not make her me. These characters always feel so painfully real, desperately relatable, as if Messenger cobbled together a main cast from bits of my life, but they are not. In the end, they are just characters. In the end, it’s just a series made for middle schoolers, in the same way the sun is just the sun, and the stars are just there to twinkle merrily and not to be explored.
(where am i without it? I cannot do what she can, but she breathes and I do too so do you get it? do i?  which one of us is me when I know that he was lying to himself, is lying to himself. truth is a phase and it ends once you hit age eight only leaving me with questions: did he want her to know at all? is he chasing the person or the change? the girl or the excitement? the wanting or the wanted? she knows that admitting it means being wrong. i will be wrong, unless i guess right and am big-headed, full of myself. who am i when i am a puzzle piece, a corner without the connection who hates it and loves it at the same time? isolation and contradiction aretwo sides of the same coin, where heads is insecurity and tails is egotism. question: who is she? answer: she’s a mirror. i know who i am because she exists to tell me whether or not i am alone (and ten books later, i still do not have an answer) so, yes, i look at her and see myself. is that what i’m trying to say? is that what i am? she thrives on secrets while cognatedom thrives on truth, and also regret, and also the denial of both but without the denial, without the regret, what are we left with? what do we see? we see the truth. We see ourselves.
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shaanks · 4 months ago
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Random but do you have any Eustass Kid fics that you like? I struggle to find ones where he's not written like an asshole (nsfw is okay too btw!) I also like kidkiller/kidlaw or character study/coming of age type ones or modern au...just anything please<3
Oh man, okay!!! :"D I know tryin to find stories where he's not written as like some kind of abusive shithead is like. hard as fuck. I feel very lucky to have stumbled on the little Kid Enjoyers community that I have, and I'll try to give you some good recs. Just as a disclaimer, a lot of what I read and engage with tends to be like nsft stuff, so that's going to be a lot of what's on the list. Also there is the possibility for spoilers for the current arc, I'm not sure where you are in your one piece journey alsedkjfasld
Okay, so:
@quinloki : Has pretty much my favorite characterization set for Kid of all time. They write mostly smut and op x reader stuff in both shortform and longform formats, and have a variety of faves, so if you like their style and have faves other than Kid there's more stuff in there too. c:
Some of my fave pieces of theirs are shorter ones, so they're good starters, I'll link em here, here and here . (the links are gonna open to punks-never-die205, that's one of their sideblogs)
@swampstew : Writes STUNNING work both short and longform, absolutely loves Kid, and if you like her writing she has a huge backlog of stories both on her blog and on her wattpad. A++++ 10/10, she also runs a blog and is writing a longer series for Killer, KillerCook, which is SO splendid.
She also does headcanon lists, a TON of events, and x reader things, I'll link some starter ones here, here, and here. (the last one is to an anthology of short stories and drabbles on her wattpad that is a ton of fun)
@standfucker : good GRACIOUS me, okay listen. Standfucker does it all. A+++ Kid characterization. Hot, well-balanced, well-written stories. They write for a bunch of characters and also do like, multiple people in a pairing/scenario stuff, and it's all phenomenal.
First one is one of my personal favorites, which involves all the Kid Pirate officers here. This is also one of my fave pieces, you get Kid all to yourself in this one here.
@wyvernslovecake : If you'd like something a little more crew-oriented and a little less x reader smut oriented, PLEASE I am begging you look into their Kid Pirates and Cross Guild little drabble posts with their character Shriek (who is the cutest little bat mink on the Grand Line), and the named characters Gabriel and Gryphon who are [spoiler characters for current arc] and adopted by the Cross Guild. Everything they write (and draw!!) is so delightful and fun, it will brighten up your day by AT LEAST tenfold.
Here, here, and here are some good examples <3.
@eustasssimp : She has a lot of like shorter form x reader and headcanon posts, and write Kid like the gruff secret softie he is. <3
Some examples here, here, and here.
@cyborg-franky : Again, he has a truly prodigious backlog of writing, so if you enjoy his Kid stuff and have other faves, you could truly spend hours and days enjoying some excellently written fun stuff here.
here, here, and here are some examples.
**
I am absolutely certain I'm forgetting people lmfao, my working memory is very bad and I'm nursing a concussion, but hopefully this gives you at least a bit of a start!! Everyone listed, and really everyone in this little section of the community, is lovely, sweet, and wildly talented. There's a lot of friendly open sharing 'round these parts, and I hope you find somewhere to land and enjoy the big guy too. If none of these does it for you, or if you'd like additional recs, just let me know and we'll figure something out.
Thank you so much for your lovely ask!!
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madslasher88 · 2 months ago
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Not spoilers, because I know nothing. Simply speculation. Simply putting it out there.
So, the big question for the state of Thedas at the end of Veilguard is likely to be whether or not the Veil remains, correct? Given that, and given how many people still talk about how ME3 ended and the problem that popped up that resulted in Andromeda going to another galaxy...
I don't think they'll do that again. I don't think people will get to choose whether or not the Veil remains. I think it'll be a set, scripted event, that'll happen the same for everyone. Why? Practical reasons. One of the big reasons they chose to move Mass Effect Andromeda to another galaxy was because the choice at the end of ME3 meant that, theoretically, there should be 3 wildly different world states for a sequel to be happening in. And not a simple, this character survived or didn't, here's a stand in character instead, but on a massive scale. It would have been stupidly expensive to basically create 3 different games, depending on the starting point.
It's the same with Veilguard. Theoretically, with the way it's been put to us up until now, whether or not the Veil still exists will have big consequences, and could potentially change a lot of things about the state of the world. So, I think it'll happen the same in game (possibly with small variations based on player actions) for everyone. Because otherwise, their choices for a sequel are 1. Spend the resources to make 2 fundamentally different worlds (EA would never) 2. Make it so that, oh, nevermind, it really wasn't a big deal, and things are mostly the same (Doubt it, it's a cop out, and one fans wouldn't like) or 3. Pick one as Canon and only make a sequel based on that state (Again, doubt it, because fans would be pissed).
So, my guess for the game is that we're not actually going to be able to choose whether or not the Veil remains. Because that choice would put Bioware in a bad spot for the sequel, and I think they know that.
Hopefully, people won't be too mad, if that does end up being the case. Because from a storytelling/ game making perspective, I think it would be the best choice, even if I think there is likely to be a chunk of fans that don't like it.
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atom-writings · 1 year ago
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Hi!!!!!!
Can I request the main 8 with a poet/writer s/o?
The main 8 find their s/o's poems or writing about them and it's like how much they love them !!!
(hopefully this makes sense :D have a nice day!
Also your writing super coolio )
hetalia allies + germany with a s/o who's a writer
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1.6k words ~ gender neutral heacanons + mini scenarios
tw: swearing, thats it!
a/n: i believe this is after the cutoff so its only 6 characters sorry! also ty :)
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America
Alfred may not seem like it, considering his less-than-stellar attention span, but he can be quite an avid reader if he wants to be.
In fact, when he was travelling the western frontier, he often wrote poems himself.
He loves your work, (he’s always the first one showing up on release day!) but he doesn’t love how much time it takes away from you.
Seeing you exhausted and frustrated after a long night, trash can filled with discarded drafts, just breaks his heart. He’ll make sure your office is always stacked with 
Alfred wasn’t usually so easily swayed by cheesy romances, despite his sweet soft for them. But now, reading your book, he couldn’t help flushing at every interaction his favourite couple had.
The one he was reading now, well, it just took the cake. Spending the day wandering East Potomac Park? It was something out of his dreams- just endlessly… familiar?
Wait, hadn’t he done that recently with you?
Oh.
He set the book aside, burying his face in his hands as he blushed wildly.
Guess the blue-eyed, blond love interest hero was a bit more than a stereotype after all.
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England
Ah, a writer. Arthur has long admired the literary arts, having many a classic writer come from his home. Yes, he’d quite enjoy someone like that.
He loves reading your work, regardless of what it is, but he’d prefer you read it to him. Then he can get all of your silly little notes along with it. Just for him <3
Although he wouldn’t appreciate you spending all day working. He’s not needy usually, but by the time you two go to bed, he’s DESPERATE for your attention.
He tries not to disturb you, though.
From the moment he picked up your work, he could tell where your inspiration for the main love interest came from. Sandy-haired, green eyes, tall but not too tall, always how you had described him.
Of course, that made his reading even more of a joy.
The only thing that bothered him was how the protagonist described themself. Always dismissed, below-par, never worthy of his love. Now, that just wouldn’t stand.
So he began to write as well. In between the margins, on attached papers, on the sides, everywhere. Correcting every disparaging thought.
Then when he finished, he handed the book back to you, with a cheeky comment.
“It was absolutely wonderful, my love.”
Whether you ever saw the notes or not didn’t matter. He had made the book even more perfect, at least to himself.
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France
As said before, Francis is a very artsy guy. Very artsy. Although he’s not always skilled at making art himself… so having another artist would help with that.
He’s absolutely the number one collector of your works. Every scrap, every trashed draft, every misprint, he’s keeping everything.
He’s also pretty ok with how much time it takes! It gives him time to relax, or maybe even join in working on creative projects.
Although he would insist on regular breaks. Fortunately, Francis is a hedonist at heart, so those breaks will always provide much inspiration.
True beauty is rare. Living for so long had proven that time and time again for Francis. It isn’t natural, it isn’t easy, and it never lasts. But…that doesn’t make the pursuit of it any more meaningless.
Even more rare than its existence, is the constant presence of it.
But when he read your poems, venerating and elucidating your own feelings, he felt as if he had found it. God, it was beautiful. Your words, unlike any other’s he had read in his many years, made him feel as if he was falling in love all over again.
Instantly, he was transported into your shoes, viewing himself in a light that had never been shone on him before.
He wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself now. It felt wrong- wrong to not give absolute reverence to this piece of art.
If he had had access to the Louvre, he would’ve kept it there. But, well, his kitchen wall would have to do for now.
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China
Finally, some good fucking talent. He's very excited about his S/O being an artist! He's not much of one himself these days, but it's good to see the youth catching up to the old masters.
As much as he loves you, he's very opinionated. Everything you write he either LOVES or HATES. Though he's always excited to show off his favourites of your works, he's very proud of you.
Though he absolutely is not stand by while you spend all day sitting around and writing. Get off the couch and come with him, you're never gonna write anything real good if you don't have any life experience!
Because of that, he's gonna be a little hesitant to cater to you while you're writing.
Your last work was good, to be sure, but nothing like this. Your newest release blew him off his feet with ease, captivating him with every turn of the page. One of his favourites, he thought to himself, that'll be one he'd have to return to.
The only problem was that it was almost over already. He wasn't that much of a fast reader, was he? Well, I guess it's easy to go quickly if you love it.
And love it he did, to the very last page. Wait, this is the last page, isn't it? Why are there three more?
He flipped through them, his eyes quickly widening as he read the last page.
A love letter? To... him?
“Is this in every edition?” He asked you shakily, looking to you for reassurance.
“Yeah?”
“That's...”  He brought a hand to his mouth, covering his blushing cheeks  trying to hide the tears welling in his eyes, “That's such a waste of paper...”
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Russia
Frankly, Ivan doesn't care much what you do. The most exciting part of you being a writer to him is just that you'd need to spend plenty of time at home.
But he'd always read your work. (Especially rough drafts, he's really good at being blunt but not mean.) And as time goes on, he'll fall in love with your talent more and more. Despite his country's many famous writers, he thinks none of them stack up to you.
He wouldn't mind how much time you dedicate to your craft, but he'd make sure to take good care of you while you're writing. He's truly very worried about you withering away in that desk chair of yours...
“Oh, I absolutely loved the part where-“
Ivan had been ranting for hours, going over every single detail that had caught his eye. Every time he thought of something new, it would lead to another excited train of thought. But there was one thing they all had in common... he really loved one character.
”He's strong!“ He'd gush, ”He's kind, and loving, and I just want him to have a happy ending!“
You let him explain over and over again how much he looked up to this character, wanting to change to be more like him in every way.
But it wasn't until he calmed down a little bit that you felt it was time to reveal the truth.
”Yeah, you know... he's based on someone I know.“
”Really? Who? I must meet him!“ He clasps his hands together in excitement.
”You, you big dummy.“
He pauses for a moment, his smile fading. He looks upset for a moment, trying to figure out how.
”But... but I am none of those things.“
”You are to me. I mean, whenever I thought about you... I'd just write that character.“
He laughs awkwardly, “You are joking, right?”
“No, of course not. You're strong... and you're kind....” he shifts away from you, tears welling in his eyes, “You're loving... and... and I'll give you a happy ending, ok?”
Before you can react, he wraps his arms tightly around your waist, burying his face in your hair.
”Promise?“
”Promise.“
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Germany
Ludwig would definitely love a S/O who writes. Mostly for one specific reason, though. Writers, well, they see the world in a different way. Whether that be in a more romantic, more objective, or more sympathetic way, he doesn't care. He wants to talk things through with someone like you.
He wouldn't be a total fanboy, but he'd still love your work.  Although, he might not show it the way you want... it's hard for him not to criticize. He wouldn't be too harsh though!
He wouldn't mind how much you get sucked into your writing either. He knows what it's like to be dedicated to your craft, and he won't bother you too much.
Ludwig had never been an emotional person. Never, not once, throughout his many years was he truly moved to tears by fiction. Art depicting real life? Of course, many times. But he simply never found fiction as compelling as reality.
That was, of course, until he read your own works. Now, going through what you had so effortlessly created, he couldn't help tearing up at nearly every turn of events.
The way you were about to put him into the character's shoes without him even realizing, forcing him along the same journey they had gone through. It was... stunning, to say the least.
But when one of the characters began to fall in love, it was like nothing he had experienced before. Not because of any significant jump in quality, but just because... you had written it.
For a moment he sat in silence, pondering the book when he realized.
Was this what it felt like for you to fall in love with him?
It sent a chill down his spine. No, he didn't feel any differently, not at all. But... he had assumed you couldn't possibly love him as much as he loved you. Except... now?
Well, if this was how you had felt. He couldn't possibly let you go anytime soon.
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bellyasks · 8 months ago
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Maybe some spacey fantasy and/or sci-fi ones? 🌕🌑🪐✨🌟💫☀️🌙
thankyouuu i didnt get super creative with it but i had fun jghfbdnsmj
🌕 Your character arrives at their colleague's place on another planet feeling plenty full after stopping for lunch on the way over. The other person is excited to share this planet's cuisine with their friend, though, considering your character has never been here, and has prepared an enormous dinner showcasing the best food the planet has to offer.
🌑 Having misplaced themself in the jungle of an unfamiliar planet, your character is growing hungrier and hungrier. Their belly may be empty, but the plants around them are filled with strange and colorful fruits. They have a guide book with them detailing which ones are edible to the planet's inhabitants, but there's still no knowing how the unfamiliar fruits will react with their not-even-from-here stomach. Well, what's the worst that could happen?
🪐 Your character is visiting a planet they've never been to before. They're very curious and a little bit of a foodie, and they're eager to try as much of the local cuisine as they can on their visit. Some of it they love, some they don't care for at all, some of it might be difficult for their belly to process since it's so different from anything they've eaten before, but they're thoroughly stuffed by the time their trip is through.
✨ Your character visits a space station cafe and sees that stardust is an optional additive. Curious, they order their drink with stardust, and the friendly tentacled barista adds a nice heaping scoop. As it turns out, stardust is extremely spicy, and your character is hiccuping and burping up glitter for the rest of their visit as they struggle to finish the drink.
🌟 Your character is some kind of massive cosmic entity, big enough to swallow stars. Normally, they only go for smaller ones, which fill them up nicely. Right now, though, they're feeling particularly hungry and manage to get their jaws around a very big one. It stretches the walls of their stomach with an enormous warmth. Do they enjoy the sensation, or is it too much?
💫 Your character has been traveling through the stars for ages without a break. They finally stop at an intergalactic rest stop with pretty limited food options. Hungry and exhausted, they grab something that they're pretty sure is compatible with their digestive system, although maybe not as compatible as they'd like it to be. Hopefully it doesn't have too wild an effect on their tummy, because they've still got a ways to fly.
☀️ Your character's primary food source is energy from the sun. When they're on their home planet, they absorb just the right amount of sunlight throughout the day, but if they visit a planet closer to the sun, they absorb that energy far more rapidly. They find themself frequently having to take shelter as they fill up uncomfortably quickly with sunlight, leaving them feeling bloated and sore.
🌙 Your character is lactose intolerant, but they're excited to learn that cheese from the moon is dairy-free. They visit the moon to pick some up and are so excited to eat cheese without consequences that they wildly overdo it. As it turns out, even dairy-free moon cheese upsets their tummy when they eat that much of it in one day.
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