#hopefully ill get over it soon
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more knight au doodles
(i know jamie is canonically proficient in horseriding i forgor :sob:)
#doctor who#classic who#doctor who fanart#dw knight au#jamie mccrimmon#zoe heriot#the horses in the first image i drew over photos and you can very much tell#especially in comparison to the pencil sketch#why are its legs like that? who knows dude#also will cybermen turn up in the story itself? ive no idea man#my process for thinking up a story is Try Everything and figure out what i like best#edgars art#these are pretty low quality sorry i intend to do some more proper pieces hopefully soon!!#im starting art school in a few days so im hoping thatll get me in The Zone for drawing more conceptual pieces#assuming ill have the time HDFGHD
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so I work two jobs, at an auto parts store and a cafe and I've noticed that people at the parts place think im a dude and the cafe customers assume im a girl its so interesting to see
#i had someone at the car place refer to me saying 'he- she- uhh sorry idk what to call you'#im pretty sure i just said 'pick one' which must have confused her so bad 💀#i appreciate you pronouns lady#also something interesting im seeing is that people respect me more at the parts store when they think im a guy#also its fun when people call me buddy hehe idk if thats just an appalachia thing but its like#what older people say to younger people#idk how old i look to people who think im a guy lmao but i guess they think im a teenager#i do have teenager voice syndrome right now unfortunately 💀#omg its so funny (uh and a little scary) when customers refer to me as 'he' to my coworkers and theyre confused 😅#theyre all rural conservatives so im a little spooked at whats gonna happen when i come back to work after being away for 3 months#cause hopefully ill be more clearly masculine#they havent asked me about it and im not telling them lmao#im the only 'girl' there right now 💀 oops#actually customers call me 'the female' 🙃 LOL#i stay silly tho#i look forward to every tuesday bc thats when i give myself my T shot :)#i have to go get bloodwork done soon oh no#for my hormone levels#if u read this far ily its nice to know youre interested in my rambling#i reduced my dose of anxiety/depression/general mood stabilizer med and i regret it so hard rn ive been SO anxious#pray for me#ok life story over bye#have a nice day#drink some water#mine
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I’ve recently got back into my EW phase and js wanna say I absolutely adore ur arts!!! 😭😭 i get a widdle too excited whenever ur art pops up on the tags like RAGHDH ITS SO AWESOEM SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE ,,,
DONT APOLOGIZE UR GOOD :3 that's so nice to hear though!! and thank you :DDDDDD!!!!!!!
#ive been meaning to post more sketches but i have this weird thing where i feel like i can only post “full pages”#hopefully ill get over that soon ^^;
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With taking a break from drawing Oliver everyday and all I think I might continue on my cosplay of him tomorrow because Ive been seriously putting it off and I have Saturday and Sunday off work
#the gremlin speaks#im feeling a bit better now i was just seriously going through it wednesday and thursday 😭#i might take the rest of the weekend off drawing oliver and resume my daily art on monday#my mental healths kinda weird normally i feel kinnda fine#for the most part at least#and then itll just randomly drop and ill feel like i have like no control over it at all#but i talked to some people about it and im gonna call up a doctor soon and hopefully get into therapy#not to vent or anything btw just kinda explaining whats going on with me
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local audhd having idiot has to do something not related to their hyperfixation and fuCKING EXPLODES!!1!!!!!! /j
#/silly#don't mind me im just trying to brainwash myself into being productive#i am capable of focusing on things. i am capable of focusing on things i am capable of focusing on things.#im using my stupid blog to keep my stupid self accountable#i did a page so now i get to bitch and moan!! as a treat!!#this has zero entertainment value#if this is what my emotional regulation is gonna look like then so be it#*crying and throwing up* i love art its my passion#this might b a sign i OFFICIALLY FR need medication but thats gonna b incredibly hard to achieve. groan. ill figure it out. hopefully soon??#hate my countrys mental health system!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! ill figure it out!!!!!!!#shut up maiora#fandomNOT#is this liveblogging???#maiora shitposts#once i figure out how to hack my own brain chemistry into doing what i want it to its is so over!!!! im gonna kick so much ass!!!#im gonna draw silly comics!! im gonna draw platonic affection in many different ways!! i wanna make shit people find interesting!!#i wanna make shit im gonna be proud of!!! i wanna make my corner of the world a lil less lonely!!!! earnest cringe lessgooooooooooooo!!#maybe ill even learn how to write coherent stories?????? that might be too high to aim at rn but its not impossible!!!#ill figure it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's gonna be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok ok ok what matters right now is i gotta calm down and lower my heart rate lmao#its gonna be okay#thanks for reading have a nice day!!#<3
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BLAAAGGHHH. bleeeeghhh. auogghhhhhh
#I HAVE FINISHED SO LITTLE ART AUGH im getting no closer to finishing peaches pg 3 or the divorce pages#and my power went out due to what i can only call. well. quite the downpour#ugh i feel dumb about everything all of a sudden as well this SUCKS major style#prolly just in a weird out-of-energy funk after being away from home for an entire month tho. hopefully its over soon cus its the worst#i need to think about puppys and kittens hugging each other and then ill be fune probably#*fine#mossball.txt#vent
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threw up 2 1/2 days worth of undigested food <3
#emetophobia#emeto tw#i got meds n was like i kinda feel alright BLEUGHGHHGHG#like damn okay#bf n dad helped me thru the vomit scaries n it made me feel better#bc i have a big fear of throwing up which is SO SHIT when u have both GERD and a fucked immune system#ive lost a little over 5 lbs again :[ hopefully i can get it back up soon or ill shit myself#metaphorically obv#arughh trying 2 feel better by watching pizzeria simulator playthru#marker pliers save me#toby speaks#prince posting#collective talks
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updated my carrd to focus on my original works, there's still a fallout-specific carrd since i still love making fallout content and always will, but. shrug. trying to rework some things
#my eyes hurt. ive been working on this thing all day#i think it looks nice#avery's is the only fully finished one but im gonna hopefully get the others done soon#avery's also has a soft lore drop for phantom frequency in case anyone was curious what my original work is about :3c#if you see typos pls forgive me i did this all pretty quick#ill be editing it over the next few days
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the thing i forgot abt making music now that im doing it again is that slump you eventually fall into where everything you make sounds like shit to you and you never want to create again
#ill get over it soon. hopefully. but yeah i forgot this happens lol its been so long since ive been creative#cause yknow. ive been in a living hell for the last 3 years.#im just overly burnt out right now 😪
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Franken faceup (finally lol) under the cut :) very very long and text heavy because i had a LOT to say with the new stuff I tried :)
^ mockup :) you can see the placing of a lot of the stitches shifted slightly and that it was pretty dark makeup around the eyes! My big inspo for this was early pics of avril lavigne since I wanted to capture that vibe in the way of silly skater girl in this doll. I very much was kind of on the fence on this one, going back and forth on what I would do with the doll (which is why I um was postponing working on the head [outside of painting it] until now) but was convinced I would go with this.
I promise you I had plans to use this mockup. It just did not feel right when I *did* get around to the faceup so I went into it with my usual tactic of ehh it's fine I'll figure it out later which either goes really well or really bad from my experience. I had gotten some tips from a friend of mine who is a PHENOMENAL doll artist so was very hyped to put those into use as well!
I started with blushing the normal resin, not even touching the other colors until I had already gotten this layer sealed so there would be less color contamination (or that was the hope lol)
I just was focused on building up the pinks in the VERY yellowed resin to hopefully balance it out a little (with my experience with very yellowed dolls, this helps a lot in making the color a bit more balanced and life like instead of just. YELLOW. And with this head being from ~2006, she needed all the help she could get lol)
Next coat was the dark purple which shocker. This paint gave me even more issues lmao in the way that I struggled getting my pastels dark enough to really blush the cheeks and lips :/
Like it's there a bit but not a ton and that was ok! My lip lines kept disappearing with my sealant so I added more and more each layer.
Eventually decided that the small areas I had to blush on the teal and the light purple could be done on the same layer, so did that next
Added a bit more of the lip lines and blush around the eye area on this layer too :)
Brows were SCARY bc i was going to be trying new tactics next coat but for now, just a simple pastel outline was my goal! I was SUPER torn on how to proceed with eyeshadow (whether neutral, bright or dark) so focused on everything else (mainly getting the body blushed and getting things to look good there).
Then well. I would like to say i was just gonna do a TINY bit of watercolor to darken the purple side of the lips but then i got lost in the sauce of watercolors, adding moles, freckles, liner, and lashes with it! My favorite thing about this method of sealant (and this is a drawback to some people but to me it's a fun part) is that sometimes dust or small hairs get trapped in the sealant. And why I find this fun is that I can turn it into facial features on the doll, ie moles or scars. It's something where obviously I would prefer to NOT have it in there and I could pick it out but on this doll I wanted to gain as much skin texture as possible on each color so I let it be as messy of a sealant job as I wanted, which is why she's got the moles you see on the normal resin :)
I also used watercolors to add a bit of color where the pastels were not working well (the dark purple and teal parts of the head were giving me grief so I just got my brush wet, dipped it in my watercolors and placed it where i needed it, dabbing at it with a dry [or wet depending on what I needed] makeup sponge cut into small squares. It helped add a bit of color to the lips especially and I was very happy with how it turned out!
I am THRILLED with it so I'm letting it dry a bit and then sealant time! Honestly i do not think this faceup could have gone better :) i was NOT expecting it to go well but it came together and it feels very much like my doll announced her personality of hey. This is what I wanna look like and who am I to not follow those vibes!
Bonus pic w the eyes in (not perfectly aligned bc i didn't wanna budge the paint, I will be making them look a bit better later but I just was ready to get a pic and then put gloss on lol) :)
Also bonus bonus pic of the finished hand bc i am so so happy w it!!
^ gloss is still drying but :)
I'll post pics once it's all dry and ofc more progress as the body comes along but I'm really happy with it!
#twist rambles#bjd posting#Frankenstein wip#i really feel shes coming together... hopefully ill get a name soon lmao#SO hyped to get her done like... i think its really really pushed me to get comfortable with a lot of new faceup techniques and materials#shes such a unique sculpt like honestly her personality just shown through the second i put the eyes in 🥺 im so excited#wig time soon. hopefully#my phone is SO weird about pinks like it really makes them 20x more pink so the last pic is the most true to irl pic in here :)#i have no clue why i was like hey. light blue under the eye but i really like it! i think it adds a bit of personality to an otherwise#kinda normal faceup. again minus the painting underneath lmao#realizing im gonna have to go back over the stitches on the brow oughhh it's ok i am so so so brave... might make it more of an obvious cut#w using some acrylic to make it have a bit of skin there but idk. thats future mes problem lmao#i feel the arms are SO badly making it look very unfinished rn but i think when theyre done it's gonna be like ohhh its all coming together
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jesus
#tape entry circa 1980#i havent full on sobbed like that in like forever#i decided i wanted to watch the twin tapes ep before bed because i hadnt heard my husbands voices in a while#and i was just pausing and rewinding things to admire certain frames and stuff#but i stopped it once at a closeup of mins hand#and i placed my hand over it fondly#but i just suddenly got really emotional and started sobbing#i guess i just really missed them a lot#not working on art of us or just anything related to us in general for a while is probably getting to me i guess#ive been trying to focus so much on my guitar cause of how badly i want to be able to do something w music for a living but#i think i need the balance of working on art#even if its just for them#i just miss them both so so much i really need to try to do stuff for them again...#i remember i dreamt recently that i need to work on my ryan screencaps i sketched ages ago for what happened before i went back home to min#hopefully ill get to that sometime soon
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i think its sooooo cool that my paycheck for my first 2 weeks was less than a thousand dollars but every single one of the dies i cut blades for sells for a few thousand dollars each <3
#i am not the only person involved in the production of these dies but the disparity is still fuckt.#hopefully ill get a raise soon since my trainings almost over#rayposting
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Hello, yes I am still alive, I still love Copia, and I had a hell of a time just blocking a bunch of bots that have manifested in my absence...all things are as they should be.
#korn-y-copia#sorry its been so long but ya know aha life#got my mental health stable for the moment so hopefully i will get back on here soon and hopefully healthily consume content#it got so bad at one point which is why i was gone for so long#but anyway rant-tags over i am fine and back in business babey (albeit nowhere near as frequent as i was during my unhinged era)#personal#mental health mention#cw mental health#cw mental illness#tw mental health#tw mental illness
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Praying to god that somehow I get rich tomorrow so I can buy all the games thats coming out this fall 🙏
#jay talks#i need over 250$ to acquire the 3 games that I want...#hopefully i get a job soon or ill have to open up paid#requests which i dont like tbh but i have to cause i need the money
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can't take my new painkillers anymore bc theyre destroying my stomach even on the lowest suggested dose and I can't take a proton pump inhibitor to stop it from doing that bc it would interact w my adhd meds... well it was a good 3 days while it lasted 😔
#i mean it wasnt even that good a 3 days bc they didnt rly help w the pain on yhe first day bc the effect has to accumulate enough#and they didnt fully eradicate the pain anyway just took the edge off... and i was still dealing w all the other symptoms so still couldnt#physically do much at all. oh well whatever man#at least the worst of the pain should be over and ill still have some left in my system tomorrow so maybe thatll do something#not even hitting the half life for this mornings dose and its almost worn off entirely tho so.#ughhhhh. back to ol reliable codeine next month i guess#man ik this wasnt ever gonna be a long term solution but i was hoping itd at least be effective to manage it while I wait on getting tests#ah well. it is what it is. i can still take the antifibrinolytic but tbh i dont think lighter bleeding actually reduces the pain at all#trying not to let it get me down. im gonna cook and shower and hopefully ill feel less sick soon#.diaries
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my annual fma phase is coming back... pray 4 me yall..
#I AM...DRAWING REQUESTS...I PROMMY... iv just been busy w skewll and all...#idk kinda in artblocka little just a little jdal but its ok. i think. hopefully. idk ill get over it soon#i physically cannot stop drawing i think ill combust.#craapp
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