#im starting art school in a few days so im hoping thatll get me in The Zone for drawing more conceptual pieces

[brainless-tin-box]

more knight au doodles

(i know jamie is canonically proficient in horseriding i forgor :sob:)

[animal71154]

OH FUCK i totally neglected to update on here but, i got professionally diagnosed for ADHD the other day and guess who got fucking misdiagnosed when they were 3 years old..(its this bitch) anyway im gonna go on ritalin soon and im really excited to see if this finally fixes my problems?

like ive just been putting things off for so long, ive been doing NOTHING for the past few years because i KNEW my difficulty wasnt down to me not trying hard enough. and i knew it would only continue being an uphill battle with no real payoff, unless i kept digging for a breakthrough like this. and its just so good to finally be right for once because everyone kept acting like i was just being pessimistic and defeatist and noone would pay any fucking mind when i DID try and FAILED..over and over again..everyone was only interested in getting me INTO work and it would just be my fault when i inevitably couldnt handle it

i mean now ive just got more trauma to get through wrt having a job, since my last boss gave me an enormous ptsd reaction that left me fucked for days (but hell if im gonna get much sympathy for that when everyones trying to rush me back into employment again). but i AM a lot more optimistic for starting up classes again! idk if itll be an art school type situation, just because i still fucking hate the concept of like a small committee of old people deciding if my art skills are worthwhile or not. but yknow maybe ill do something really different that ive always wanted to do like something music related? idk much about that tho

im kinda losing my train of thought now but basically i just really fucking hope my life stops being a big pile of shit this year and this is the closest ive gotten to believing thatll happen in a long time