#hope this helps clear it up

[hattiestgal]

If you don't mind my asking, how do you go about drawing fat? :3

JUST THE EXCUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR

So, for me personally, a lot of the time when I draw fat characters, I'm not looking to specifically capture the specifics of fat as much as the feel of fat. Bulkier, rounder shapes in the right places that has a feeling of weight to em! A lot of that is intuition and simplification at this point, but it all works on the same frame as just any ol' person. Like take this-

For example. This is the basis for any body shape, not just the more average one that it may imply. Sure- it can be that average body shape:

But also a fat one too!

And a big part of that is knowing where fat usually tends to bunch up on the body, so lets take a look piece by piece! (Please keep in mind this is very simplified, and not completely precise in some parts)

THE FACE: Cheeks (in purple) and especially the chin (in light blue) are the places where a lot of the fat is gonna wanna gather and round out on your face! Additionally, theres a small pocket of fat beneath the cranium on the backside of your head. It's small, but it is there. I believe fat can build up elsewhere like the bridge of your nose and forehead, but generally speaking, you're gonna have a whole lot more buildup in other places first.

THE TORSO: A lot of the fat built up on the torso is gonna be sent to your tummy. More cushioning for vital organs, mostly out of the way, it just makes sense. Additionally, the lower backs fat builds up and joins with a patch of fat on your sides that forms what is typically referred to as the love handles to make that double belly look. Along with this, the immediate next target for the torso is the breasts, followed by the upper back!

THE ARMS: For this limb, a VERY notable amount of the fat present builds up on the tricep and bicep areas, lessening once you get towards the flexor and extensor areas. You can almost think of the arm as a sort of triangular shape, wide side starting from the shoulder and tapering towards the hand, which itself mostly builds up fat around the back of the hand and the fingers. The shoulders themselves don't build up too much fat unless you got a lot

THE LEGS: And finally, you can think of the legs having pretty similar curves to what you're probably already used to thinking. The front of the thighs getting a big buildup, along with the back of the calves, the other parts being flatter in turn. As far as the feet go- similarly to the hands, the top of the feet, along with the heels get most of the buildup, as fat on your soles would impede mobility. The glute, hip and crotch area will also especially build up fat, lending to the same triangular shape that you can see in the arm!

A big thing to note with fat is that it tends to taper off towards joints. Your knees, elbows, shoulders, hips, and all the other places are gonna have significantly less fat so that you remain mobile and flexible, as that's important!

Now that we have an idea of where fat builds up on the body, you might have something that looks kinda like this

Which yes, does demonstrate a solid understanding of the places fat builds up, lacks the weight you're probably trying to convey, which brings us to out next point! Fat is well... heavy! Gravity is what gives fat much of it's shape, especially as you tread towards larger and larger bodies.

This is demonstrated really well on the arms especially-

Those big ol' bits of fat'll really start to sag when left hanging, and they will squish like hell if they run into something. I like to think of these bits of fat as big ol' ovals that squash and stretch depending on if there's an obstacle in their way or not

These are the important shapes to remember when it comes to the weightiness of fat! If you take all of this into mind, you should be getting something a lot closer to that shape you've been after!

Oh, and always remember that fat bodies come in all variety of shapes and sizes! Play around with a whole lot, and seek out all the resources you can! it'll really lend to your knowledge when it comes to this kinda stuff!

And as I always recommend when it comes to learning art- look at what your favorite artists do with fat bodies. See what you really like about the fat bodies they draw and try to replicate it in your own work, I promise you it's one of the most helpful things ever.

This is like the most basic of basics when it comes to drawing fat bodies though. If there's any additional thing about fat bodies, or maybe you want clarification on something, don't be afraid to ask! If there's enough to cover, I'll make an addition to this post!

[reasonsforhope]

Hey adults: Why do you like being an adult? What do you like about your life?

A couple weeks ago I told the kids at my work that "Being an adult is pretty nice, actually," and they looked shocked, laughed incredulously, and told me I was the first person they'd ever heard say that

So clearly we adults need to talk about this way more often

The past few years have been hard for a lot of people, me included. Covid sucked. I lost three relatives and three pets in one year. Right after lockdown ended, I got badly injured, and ended up housebound for six months and (much more) disabled for two years, and that sucked too.

And you know what? Literally all of that was easier and better than being a teenager.

I like being an adult. I like my life. Even when it's hard, it's mine, and I am building to the best of my ability the a life that I want to live.

I talked about a lot of why being an adult is something worth looking forward to in my last post, so right now I'll simply say this:

I love actually knowing who I am now. I love that I learned and am learning what I want and need. I love that I have independence and autonomy and don't get treated like a kid. I love the fact that I'm the one who gets to decide want I want to do and what I need. I also love that I'm learning to sew. I love that I've had pet rats, and next will have a pet cat. I love that I got top surgery. I love the way I've decorated my room. I love traveling to visit and crash and even just hang out and do work with my friends, when I can. I love that I started reading good news every day, and that I actually have hope for the future, and that I started this blog and have been able to help give so many other people hope, too.

So, here's a call to action for my fellow adults: comment or reply or tag what you like about being an adult. What you love about your life.

Let's give some kids some reasons for hope.

[sweetestflow3rs]

♡ - THE PLAYER CHARACTER: VANIDA, THE IDOL || THE MONSTER - ♡

An in-depth bullet point list, regarding the lore of my PC

Full government name is Vanida Thompson

Born from an ongoing sexual affair between her mother who was an unnamed sex worker & her father, an infamous underground fighter / thug

Her father & Bailey grew up in the Orphanage together and were childhood friends ( & maybe more ); before her father was arrested for killing her mother when she was only 3yrs of age

Vanida has no idea who her parents are, and her father's connection with Bailey

Originally, was someone very sweet. A bit clumsy in her execution, but was someone very earnest and determined. Never wanted to exclude anyone and tried becoming friends with everyone.

Had a big baby crush on Sydney that helped her power through horrors ( unknown to Sydney who was still in the closet ), but also made her spiral more when things kept getting worse ( "An angel like her would never date someone filthy like me." )

Thought Avery was into her at first, and was very excited about being noticed by her until she realized that Avery bought her from Bailey

Used to work vigorously at the Cafe until she passed out, got recommended for therapy by Harper. Never went to a single appointment because she kept forgetting due to work. She never misses a single payment!!

Lost her virginity to the nun at the Temple when she was trying to get lichen for the Science Fair. Now, she hates the Temple with a burning passion and thinks they are the worst

Kept getting assaulted so much, that she succumbed for a bit; becoming a sex worker at the Brothel since "might as well make money off of it"

Went through a 2 year phase of anger and apathy. Would let anyone date her, or sleep with her. ( Which HC Whitney then dated after; cause we love gay girls who try to be close with the girl they like by taking their 'things' )

Her relationship with Whitney started the night they had one night stand at the Pub, when Vanida was trying to score clients. Got claimed as Whitney's girlfriend the next day. She didn't think Whitney was serious about their relationship until Whitney showed up to the Orphanage and pulled a gun on Bailey in the winter of their third high school year. ( Vanida also earned a gun kink )

Is now Whitney's number 1 ride or die. Wanting to please her so much, while also wanting to take a page from her book on riding the chaos, that Vanida changed her whole look & personality ( sorta ) (( this is how we got Vanida of today ))

Presents herself now as someone very chatty & sociable. Charming and almost ditzy-like with how she giggles and smiles to make people like her. She still is writhing and rolling around in her hatred and anger under her mask. She hates, or resents, almost everyone. Has become someone extremely mean-spirited.

Decided to use her body for something more productive, and that's by using her sex to have almost the entire town at her beck & call. Most will do anything to just have a chance with her, and Vanida takes full abuse of it. Her demonic transformation really helps with this.

Sees all relationships as transactional & only develops bonds that she thinks will provide use for her ( either socially, or protection ). As a result, it is almost near impossible for Vanida to cultivate a normal, healthy bond with others that is genuine.

The only ones she has a semi-normal bond is Bailey and Niki, because they both are upfront with their intentions with her, and don't seek her out sexually.

HC that she gets into a lot of yelling fights with Bailey, resulting in getting her ass beat by him. It's how they father-daughter bond

Loves going to 'parties' with Avery, because the more secrets she knows, the more she can use them for her own benefit. Knowledge is power ♡

A top student, with big popularity. The town calls her Venus, the criminal underground call her Sabre

A hedonist

The Underground Farm has tried kidnapping her, but she always manages to escape somehow. Remy just admit you're obsessed with her-/j

Her end goal is to have total control of the entire town for the sole reason to humiliate everyone in power for letting a "slut" have power over them. Bailey is somehow spared in this plan because Vanida has a soft spot for him, because he was the only person to check on her when she'd crash out in early gameplay. Even if all he did was yell at her.

And that's all ( i think ) regarding Vanida, my PC! Thank you for reading! ♡

[iinryer]

i’m confused, what’s the context for hotshots?

this morning 911bts posted the 9-1-1 segment from this EW article!

this is the bit we’re riffing on—

“The ABC first responder drama returns for season 8 with every member of the 118 firehouse facing a crisis: Bobby (Peter Krause) is forced to follow through with his retirement and takes a job as a technical advisor on an action TV show called Hotshots (how meta!) […]”

this is the only info we have, everything else has just been everyone joking around about an in-universe firefighter show!

[thistransient]

Very into this book stand

[ziracona]

Oh my god it all happened exactly like I said it would ToT and Peter was so mean! "I know why you did it-" "--To help my friend!" "--and because you're a criminal, and I was an idiot for expecting more" PETER. Like I get it he's got a skeleton in his closet now and that's a fucked up thing to do to someone, but the boy HAD. NO. CHOICE. And also Peter! Peter Burke!! ASAC PETER BURKE?? You've done illegal shit before! What about the Burke 7 or whatever number? What about telling Neal to flee the Marshals when it was illegal because 'He didn't deserve it'? You were right!!! You already know that the law is not always what is just, and the just thing is the right thing, you just cannot apply it to yourself right now! PETER. PETER

God El is fighting for Neal's life right now. Our woman in the trenches carrying his broken body through the gunfire trying to save that relationship. She's so right and bless.

Jones is NOT helping and it would be fine if Dianna was there to balance him out but she just had a BABY and is on maternity leave and it's a perfect storm of hell TuT

And now Hagen has Neal's stupid girlfriend who it's been so so clear is evil since her first scene but he's too fool to see he's getting played and she's been 'kidnapped' by (read: working with) Hagen and Neal won't go to Peter bc Peter basically told him to go die, and everyone but Mozzie and El is making terrible decisions every 3 seconds and

[shkika]

i would like to believe that W1 would possibly chirp a little when it has happy thoughts. mrrrrp perhaps. llike 猫咪.

i may be a bit biased

pcs irl make beautiful and wonderous little clicks and noises from time to time!! this is an exceptional headcanon i love it!!

hmm vv1 noises…

w1 in my head doesn’t have a particular happy noise i think. u can hear the calm quiet whirr of it’s fans when it is chill. so i guess the quieter the more relaxed it is!

BUT w1 does make noises akin to when a pc coil whines (look it up if you dont know) when it is unhappy or strained!! and of course the iconic

v2 high pitch whines are also there to emote with if it wants to

it also has a voice synthesizer to missuse and spam one single syllable for absolutely no reason (perhaps to annoy you perhaps to annoy itself). the possibilities are endless

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Wait wait- are you legit telling me marvel made canon symbrock mpreg? As in, venom legitimately got Eddie fucking pregnant and eddie carried a baby alien to term?

Lmfao XD

So, here's the thing. No, Marvel did not write actual mpreg and no, Eddie did not get pregnant.

You have to keep in mind that symbiotes reproduce asexually. However, when a symbiote is bonded to their host, together they can create a unique offspring that shares their DNA.

It's pretty much a ye olde meme in the fandom to refer to this process as "mpreg" when referring to Eddie and Venom specifically.

Oh, and they don't just have one baby alien. They have seven.

Carnage, Scream, Lasher, Phage, Agony, Riot and Sleeper.

Eddie also has a biological human child with Anne AND Venom named Dylan (who is pretty bad ass).

And Venom also has a clone named Mania. I can't remember if Mania technically counts as one of Venom's offspring or not, but I'm listing them here just in case.

P.S. If anyone notices that I missed something/got something wrong, feel free to correct me! I'm just listing the shit I can remember off the top of my head <3

Update: Kudos to @wombatking for reminding me that the mpreg meme started from the Sleeper story line, specifically the Mike Costa run :D

[xoxoheavenhelpus]

wait what did brendon urie do /genq

ok well for starters he's said slurs on his twitch streams, specifically the n slur and the t slur. since then he's apologized for it (it's funny cuz in the video he says he wouldn't say the n slur LOL) and people have said he wasn't aware the t slur was a slur. there's also a video of him where he's making fun of people who are gender neutral which really put me off him in general because I'm gender neutral.

There was also a very serious situation with dallon weeks and his wife breezy weekes, dallon weekes is an ex member of panic for context idk how much you know abt them 😭 but anyways breezy weekes accused the (now) former panic security guard Zach Hall of sexual harassment. She claimed that he would make sexual comments towards her and attempted to touch her w/o consent multiple times. on top of this dallon also came out and said that he was pretty badly bullied and called names and ect by Zach and many fans have speculated that Brendon might also be involved in that but I don't want to make any assumptions. Lots of underage fans also made accusations against Zach saying he made creepy comments towards them or they were asked to flashed him to get backstage and meet brendon, mind you many of these people were literal children at this point in time. People also started a rumor about how Brendon sexually harassed them at a concert but that was entirely made up. Since then Brendon has apologized for Zach's behavior, which in my opinion is not a valid apology because it didn't come from Zach himself. Brendon also never spoke out or apologized for what happened with breezy and dallon as far as I'm aware. Heres a reddit post with some of breezys statements on what happened that can probably explain this better than I can lol

my main issue with what happened between breezy and Zach is that Brendon said in his statement about Zach how he is going to continue to "remain friends with him because he believes in second chances" which I think is absolutely disgusting, I don't think its morally ok to be friends with someone like that no matter how close you are with them but that's just my opinion.

I'm a huge panic fan but him saying all these things and the actions he's taken in my opinion are enough to make me dislike him. while I do think it's good he apologized I also think it's very strange he didn't speak about the issue with breezy as it was also extremely serious. anyways take everything I say with a grain of salt and make your own opinion on him based of your own morals and the things you dislike about him not just was I have personal issues with :3

anyways thank you for coming to my Ted talk sorry this ended up being so damn long 😭😭

[f-imaginings]

I was reading kmky and I have a question about the “Good” dimension where Bill is used as a battery. How did that work? Cause didn’t Bill power up when Ford “worshipped” him? But this Ford from that dimension didn’t. Or at least not in the way Ford worshipped him. Idk I’m confused 😅 I don’t know how to ask this properly

The "good" dimension wasn't really meant to be all that good. I plan to explore it more in my what if spin off, but basically the Ford in that world still does worship Bill in the most toxic backhanded way possible. He still fell in love with him, and the betrayal just happened with much more intensity. Rather than banishing Bill's body he rebound it, after asking Bill to show him the converter and cuffs again so he could "tinker with them" to "make them better". I'll go into it in more detail in the spin off (and have already started on a chapter for that) but basically Ford then goes to build all of his success on this secret captivity of his cosmic lover's power. It's not the same sort of adoration but he is still thinking about Bill every single day. Every time he receives accolades or praise it's because of Bill powering the portal in the basement, and Ford knows it. He said it in the chapter, that Bill is the very bedrock of the foundation. He's someone who still vacillates between fussing over bill's condition (bringing a tv down there for him, then removing it when Bill pisses him off) and who covered the glass where bill's eyes were with tape so he doesn't have to look Bill in the eye after what he did to him, BUT THE IDIOT KEEPS PEELING THE TAPE BACK SO HE CAN STARE AT HIM!!!! He is still absolutely obsessed with Bill, they still make each other feel important, they've just become ten times as toxic and codependent on each other's regard. When our story's Ford comes through the worship increases and Bill gains more power BC that's two Stanford's both obsessed with killing or containing him. The bit at the end where he said "I've always wanted for us to be monsters together" and Stanford wanting that too was very purposeful. The temptation to drag each other down and just burn together is the core of their relationship and it's messy and nasty and shitty but it's also very them.

[pocketgalaxies]

hi! seeing you during all this ep95 mess has been a breath of fresh air. you seem to have a really firm grasp of canon so I wanted to ask what you think of the recent discord message from Liam where he says Orym didn't know that Laudna was under Delilah's influence when she killed Bor'dor? I watched the clip from 4SD, & it's pretty clear that Liam says Orym understood Laudna was opening the door for Delilah when he encouraged her to kill Bor'dor & even says "we'll need that." But the Discord message seems to walk that back. It's been super frustrating being accused of vilifying Orym or infantilizing Laudna for repeating what Liam himself said. I just don't really know how to reconcile these two statements from Liam & it has me a bit confused on Orym's character.

hi anon, thank you!

this turned into a much longer one than i was expecting dfksjdkfs

so last week i posted this Really Long Ask about the whole discussion, if you want to take a look. but i intentionally didn't bring up liam's discord message because you're right! it seemed contradictory to something that was stated in the past, which was confusing

honestly i think the most realistic answer is that liam probably didn't mean for what he said on 4SD to be understood as such a strong and maybe even polarizing character choice. i think a lot of us heard it as "orym sees delilah as a useful/necessary asset that outweighs what might happen to laudna afterward." particularly because he framed it as something that made the whole situation "even creepier," and during that same convo, marisha was emphasizing the psychological impact that killing bor'dor had on laudna. it's a strong stance and it reflects what orym is doing to himself (handing his endgame over to the questionably fickle nana morri to increase their chances of success against ludinus)

but i suppose liam's clarification suggests that he meant it in a softer, more practically level-headed way, like "orym knew he couldn't do a whole lot about delilah's return but he also thought it could have benefits," or something along those lines. they're obviously two hugely different interpretations with pretty big implications on how we understand orym's relationship with laudna

i'm not a connoisseur of orym's character by ANY means so i can't confidently tell you what the change might mean from a narrative perspective, but i personally still prefer the former stronger stance. because i think it raises interesting questions about how orym views his own place in this war and whether or not it's valid for him to (intentionally or subconsciously) project that placement onto the other party members. is it okay for orym to expect the same level of personal sacrifice from laudna, or imogen with predathos (a whole separate can of worms), or anyone else? is it safe? etc etc. but maybe liam doesn't want to go in that direction, or maybe he does but just not in the way we expect, i don't know! only time will tell!

also regardless of what he meant, i think it's important to acknowledge that it's really easy and completely understandable to feel like he was walking something back. that episode of 4SD was almost a whole year ago! many of us built that statement into our perception and understanding of orym's character for a long time, so it's totally valid to go "wait what the fuck???" when liam suddenly pops into the discord to say that's not what he meant. those feelings are valid and real! especially when discourse can already make you question your own intelligence and your personal interpretations of a story, having that pillar, as big or small as it might've been in your mind, knocked over can be really jarring. you are very much not alone in that, and it's okay!!

[philsmeatylegss]

Going to be really brave and say something I am terrified to and will probably delete:

There is NO way as many of y'all don't use AI as I see reblogging all of these posts

[damazcuz]

It is really very funny that fandom people will be like Curate your experience! 😁 👍 block the haters and fly your freak flag! Don't engage with people that suck! And you're like okay. And then they hear through the long and winding grapevine that you're playing pretend without them and the same people will be like wtf. You're all on discord together without me? Thats so cliqueish and mean. You can't exclude me like that. The community is dying because-- baby you said curate and we curated. Due to. You're so annoying... (becomes very serious) and to say nothing of the racism.

[ectonurites]

Do the Robins really think of each other as siblings? I know they all consider Dick a brother and vice versa, but between all them, is there really a sibling dynamic/consideration? Do they ever call each other as such?

Okay, so, off the bat (heh) from the phrasing of this ask I want to clarify something:

Namely that the hero role of ‘Robin’ does not inherently have a familial tie.

‘Robin’ is a hero role that has (in main continuity) been filled by: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne, and in a slightly less formal way Duke Thomas (he was a member of the We Are Robin movement and the most prominently featured of that group, though he did not really act as ‘Batman’s sidekick Robin’ which is why he’s kinda in his own category here but still worth mentioning).

However, that’s not to say there are no familial ties there. From the list of Robins… Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Tim Drake are the adopted sons of Bruce Wayne. Damian Wayne is Bruce’s biological son. Duke Thomas was for a time fostered by Bruce, though that is not presently the case (he lives with his uncle instead nowadays). And, while not a Robin, it’s also worth mentioning that Cassandra Cain (Batgirl) is Bruce’s adopted daughter.

So, to answer the baseline question of ‘Do the Robins really think of each other as siblings?’ I would say 'most of them do, the ones that are adopted siblings'. But like, Steph isn't their sister, and they aren't her brothers. That’s simply not the case there, she's never been adopted by Bruce (not to mention one of them—Tim—is literally her ex-boyfriend).

I think it’s very safe to say that among the ‘Dick, Tim, Jason, Damian’ grouping, yes canon has pretty clearly shown that they do all have a brotherly dynamic. They don't all use the specific phrasing that frequently, but it's not uncommon for them to—whether to directly call one another brothers, or to talk about their shared (adopted or otherwise) dad. This isn't to say they are all close or all have good relationships with one another all the time (lol no, Dick & Tim are close/generally have a good relationship, and Dick & Damian are also close/generally have a good relationship, but aside from that things get rockier/vary a lot more) but at the core there's a brotherly thing with all the ups and downs that entails.

To pull some examples of either using that phrasing or showing that kind of dynamic from books published within the last few years:

(Dick & Jason in Nightwing (2016) Annual #1)

(Dick talking about Tim in Nightwing (2016) #80)

(Dick talking about Damian in Nightwing (2016) #110)

(Jason & Tim [& Cass] in Task Force Z #8)

(Jason & Damian Robin (2021) #5. I do feel the need to mention that on Damian's end this hug was also a distraction to then electrocute Jason. That's just how he is sometimes. but the hug was genuine on Jason's end 🤷)

(Tim & Damian [& Dick] in Batman #138)

That’s just some stuff I could think of off the top of my head, there’s definitely more examples (and also if I went further back, but I'm approaching this anon from a 'the current state of things' POV).

Also worth noting that Dick & Damian’s relationship does kinda toe a line between ‘brothers’ and ‘pseudo father-son’ due to Dick needing to fulfill a parental role while Bruce was dead (pre-N52, like, Batman and Robin (2009) era). They’re still more brothers than anything else, but with such a large age gap and the way responsibilities had to be taken due to the situation at the time, it makes things complex, ya know! In general, I think that’s something to keep in mind—it’s not that these guys all lived together as one happy family with Bruce at any given point in time (they did Not), but despite that they still are family. They each have a complicated relationship with Bruce, and complicated relationships with one another, but they are (and see each other as) family regardless. A messy and non-traditional family, but still a family.

The thing I think some people get confused with is the way that the greater 'Batfamily' is more what we think of as a 'found family' where characters don't necessarily fall into traditional familial roles... because that includes people like Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, Helena Bertinelli, etc—people who are bats but are not part of the Wayne family. Like... The Wayne Family and The Batfamily are not synonymous. The Wayne Family is a separate but partially overlapping thing. The Waynes are Bats but not all Bats are Waynes, ya know? And like, it's only further confusing because of how most of Bruce's adopted kids kept their original last names even after adoption, so it's not always clear at a glance who falls into which group if you're not super familiar with the characters.

NOW, the person I think this gets a bit fuzzy with in terms of placement is Duke… he's obviously part of the Batfamily, but where exactly he sits in relation to the Wayne Family has like, been different at different points in time. Because he was Bruce's foster child for a while, and now he isn’t anymore. So in terms of his relationship with the other Robins, it definitely is more familial than like, Steph's relationships with any of the others—because he was their foster brother—but it's not quite as strictly defined as among the 'Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian' grouping. I’m gonna link this post by a Duke-centric blog which goes into some of this more clearly!

[softquietsteadylove]

Gil gets hurt and Thena takes care of him. We need some soft content hehehe free choice and thanks <3

"You okay?"

Thena blinked. Her vision was fading on her. She looked back at Gil, who was staring at her with those big brown eyes of his. She smiled, moving away from the edge of the loft and leaning over him again. "I should be asking you that. You need to rest."

"I am," he pointed out weakly, moving his eyes around to indicate the thorough incapacitation of his body. They had gotten up the ladder on pure adrenaline. They just needed somewhere off the ground and safe for the night while the herd outside passed, or at least calmed.

The barn doors were holding, thanks to the plank of wood they had secured after all of them holding them with all their strength.

Thena had spread out some hay. They didn't bring much with them--this was supposed to be an easy day trip for supplies. She had laid Gil down, balling up her sweater under his head as the least she could do. "Let me see it."

It wasn't as if he was in a position to stop her. He grunted as she pulled on his good arm to help him sit up, although even that caused his bad shoulder some pain. "You checked it five minutes ago."

"It was not five minutes ago," she argued with him, their voices hushed. Despite the tense silence and the low shuffling of the herd outside, it was quieter in the barn than the sterile, smooth echoes of the hospital. Not that they didn't long to be back there at the moment.

Gil let her unbutton his shirt and look at his shoulder again. He had tried to save one of their own earlier, even letting his arm be pulled out of the socket. But the herd had won, and she had pulled him away before he could be swallowed up too.

The swelling was still prominent. She didn't have anything to help with that, and neither she nor Kingo nor Ikaris were knowledgeable enough to pop it back into place for now. She wondered if they would even be strong enough.

"I've dislocated my shoulder before, y'know."

"Is that so?" she whispered, pulling his shirt away from him as if it would cause the injury to worsen. Already his skin was starting to change colour.

"I was maybe 14?--my dad thought it would be a good idea to make me join wrestling. Thought I was too timid, especially for being kind of a husky kid," Gil continued as she traced the edge of his swelling with her eyes. She didn't dare touch it. "Obviously, I didn't wanna do it."

"Obviously," she added, because of course Gil didn't want to fight his peers as a growing teen, probably just as sweet and shy as he was now.

"So, my first practice I tried to just go limp and play dead, but the other guy was not having it," he chuckled. She watched the shadows of his breathing against the glow of the flashlight. "He ended up popping my shoulder out, he was trying so hard. I was just happy I got to quit the team."

"Gil," she scolded him with a smile. The idea of young teen Gil, shy in a wrestling leotard and just trying to make friends crossed her mind. "I imagine it hurt then, too."

He let out a breath. He was careful about it. He was putting up a good front, but she knew when he was in pain. She had seen it enough during their time on the road. "I guess it did."

She frowned. This wasn't the kind of injury they could disinfect and wrap up. They still had to get him back to the car and then back to the hospital without incident. And this was the open road; it wouldn't be easy to mow a path for them back to the cars from here.

But she could do it.

Gil wheezed as she helped him lie down again. He forgot to pretend he was fine when he was moving, his face twisted in pain. "Bill-"

"Hey," she cut him off. She didn't even remember his name. They had only gone on a run once or twice before. All she had known in the moment was that Gil was in danger. "Don't."

"He's got a girlfriend back at the hospital," Gil whispered to her. He opened his eyes, staring up at the room of the barn.

She moved to lean over his face, brushing his tears away. "I'm afraid it could happen to any of us, out here. We know the risks."

They all had to know the risks. What's-his-name had signed up for supplies duty just like the rest of them had. Ajak didn't assign people roles based on whim.

Thena leaned in, pressing her lips to his forehead. He still wasn't running a fever (good). "We'll tell her together--how hard you tried to save him."

Gil shut his eyes again. There was nothing they could do about it now. "You should get some sleep."

"Hypocrite."

"Really," he wheezed again. "You're not gonna stay up until dawn just because I'm like this. We need you at your best."

Thena looked out over the rest of the barn again. She could just barely make out where Ikaris was leaning up against a pillar, although she couldn't see if he was sleeping or not. Kingo was curled up on a stack of hay, already knocked out from all the effort they exerted.

"Thena, I'm fine."

He was far from fine. He was hurt, and suddenly their days on the road weren't so far away anymore. The sting of peril was hot on their heels again. She could remember holding onto him, willing to pull off his other arm if it meant not letting go. Kingo was the one to pull them both, yanking her backpack to get them both up the hill and towards the barn.

She opened up her bag. She should have packed for the possibility of being stuck out here, regardless. They were getting too comfortable at the hospital--too spoiled. There had to be something she could use to help Gil in some way.

"Thena," Gil sighed as she pulled out a blanket. It was barely a blanket, more some ripped old sheet for acting as a trampoline if they had to drop things from a height and stay quiet. It barely covered from his elbows down to his knees. "Really?"

"I said hush," she muttered, moving on to his bag as well. She dug out the spare shirt he brought.

Gil moved his eyes as he watched her. "It's a nice idea, but I don't know if a summer gingham shirt is gonna offer much warmth."

She made sure to huff at him, pulling it on over her white t-shirt. she didn't bother buttoning it, but she did pull it closed around her. It was big enough to feel like having a blanket around her. "No complaining."

She curled herself up next to his good arm, wrapping her arms around her knees. He was right, she would need to sleep, even if it was nodding off for a few minutes at a time. But she couldn't take her eyes off the opening to the loft. Even after she had worked her absolute hardest to pull the ladder up with her, the thought of seeing something poke a gnarled, nightmarish head up and look at her-

"Thena."

She inhaled sharply. She was falling asleep by the second. Her head tilted and she nearly flinched at the dry, borderline icy look Gil was giving her. "I'm fine."

"I'm not asking you to sleep," he pleaded with her. His good hand moved until he could tug at the shirt of his she was wearing. "Just lie down, please."

She buried her nose in the collar of it. In truth, she was exhausted, and being tired made her feel cold. But more than that, this shirt smelled like Gil, and their room at the hospital. And she needed to feel that, right now.

Thena shifted her weight, lying down next to him, still basically curled in the fetal position.

Gil was most certainly straining his eyes to look at her. But he smiled. "Feels like old times, right?"

Times when she would be unable to sleep because she had something far too precious to protect? Yes, it did feel remarkably like that. It felt like when she watched him sleep the entire night after he got grazed by a bullet, or when she watched him sleep as his fever get worse and worse.

Sometimes she still woke up from that nightmare, unable to stop herself from checking if his forehead was hot.

The thought spooked her again. The next time she fell asleep she probably wouldn't flinch awake after a few seconds again. Gil was lying flat on his back, his eyes closed. His breathing seemed even. She shimmied closer as best she could. Just once more couldn't hurt.

She touched the back of her hand to his forehead; no fever. She leaned up and touched her lips to his cheek; a little scruffy, but warm and living. With that, she could lie down beside him, not resting on him but pressing her forehead to his arm, just to have some contact with him. This was the only way she could rest.

Tomorrow, she could worry about getting Gil home again.

[sweetandsourcookies]

lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.