#hope my writing is easy enough to read as my adhd brain is not writing that down

[koszmarnybudyn]

Ok this is intended with me as its target audience (as all my aus are to be honest). But I just finished tma and this has been stuck in my head for days so i gotta share it. I will elaborate extensivily if asked.

So DADDIES is basiclly the magnus istitute, and these guys are its employees (all intended as like easrly-mid 20s) tho its less archiving/researching and more stopping the monsters, after the mysterious dissapearences of the previous ceos (kiddads and previously the og dads) Willy takes over and hires Scary as the archivist (well not archivist more like investigator or something, but anyway hes trying to groom her to start the apocalypse). This institude is more web/hunt and less eye adjecent. The doodler is still a thing (tho its diffrent cause its the entities). And these guys are trying to survive, earn a living and maybe actually investigate a mystery, as shenanigans and terrors ensue.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

hello I just got caught up on the free chapters of tto:u and I just wanna thank you for making it! I had to go on a pretty stressful family trip this past week, and I had to fly (which I'm terrified of, not for logical reasons but for phobia reasons. irrational fear of heights runs in my family) and honestly this story got me THROUGH that week. i can't stop thinking about it, in a good way. it's getting me hooked on sci-fi again, falling in love with the genre all over again. I keep thinking about arborea, about a hacker obsessed with retro-futurism who plays doom on the side of buildings, about bees and sleeping in a nest in a tree. i haven't felt this way about a sci-fi story since I first read the Wayfarer's series, and that story permanently changed my brain chemistry. you write in a way that is so easy, getting across dense exposition in a way that Feels quick and easy and digestible, but grows like a fungus once it's inside my head.

I spent the flight over crying like a baby. I spent the flight home rereading ttou from the start, and all the fears I had about flying seemed so small compared to aspen crawling along the hull of the Courageous hours after waking up from a months/decades long coma. there's this current of teeth-gritted hope and a stubborn will to survive just a little longer, no matter how bleak the future looks, that I cannot get enough of. it's in all your work, but ttou resonates with something in me that's very unique.

basically just wanted to send you a reader's love letter. you did also make me miss SEVERAL buses, because I kept thinking 'ill just read this next paragraph and keep checking the road, there's no way I'll miss this next one by getting too distracted to notice the bus pass me" which honestly, is entirely my own folly. I knew what this story does to ADHD readers. still, getting home late was worth reading more. it's just so damn good.

also (apologies if you've answered this before), does TTO:U have a planned ending? I see the chapters titled but not yet available to read, and I'm not sure if those are available on Patreon or if those are the planned final chapters? I desperately never want to stop reading new chapters of this, but of course I understand that isn't likely Actually feasible. no matter how much is left though, I look forward to reading more, and to finding new things in the previous chapters to fall in love with

I'm so glad you're enjoying it! There's always another bus coming :P

TTOU is 183 chapters long, so you'll be getting the ending pretty soon. Patrons already have the whole thing. After TTOU, there'll be a new story called Child of a Wandering Star, which has bug aliens in it.

[dayscapism]

My Thoughts on the Percy Jackson TV Show (was not a fan):

Months have passed but, I guess I like to throw wood to embers to make fires again. Honestly, I would have abandoned it after episode 3 if it weren't one of my favourite book series ever and I wanted so bad to be hopeful and pleasantly surprised.

I don't think it's a terrible adaptation, but I think it's boring, badly edited, with character inconsistencies, has first-draft-level writing and just missed potential. I'm happy it's been working for so many others, but I've also seen a lot of people being so reluctant to negatively criticise anything about it. Which is weird, it makes me feel like we're watching two different shows and I'm the problem (am I the drama? perhaps. I don't care.)

It's not been an easy time to watch for me; it's a sustained, painful, physical effort to pay attention to this show, especially during dialogue scenes. Like how do you make a show about a bunch of ADHD kids and make it so NOT ADHD-friendly to watch?? (The writers and editors should watch EEAAO, that's how an ADHD brain approaches visual media). The pacing, the terrible exposition, it's the static and uninteresting camera work, the lack of a campy hyping music/soundtrack, the lack of stylization, the lazy editing, the actors stopping to chat in a static shot every other minute, no running during urgent situations, etc. Nothing is engaging! It's such a boring show! There's always exactly 1 thing happening on screen and nothing else around it, no hidden meanings, no mystery, nothing that could be layered storytelling, which is such an important thing in a TV show where you only have 8 episodes to tell your story! Spekaing of, ADHD and dyslexia don't seem to be shown or discussed again after it's mentioned that Percy has it in episodes 1-2. I was hoping for bolder representation with that. (Why didn't they include the little dialogue where neither Percy of Annabeth can figure out the sign at the emporium because of dyslexia, and Grover has to tell them? These little moments count so much for representation of this kind!)

The dialogue paired with the pacing/humour is not landing. It truly feels unpolished, like a first draft. Like technically it serves its purpose, but it's an ineffective, unengaging manner to write a tv script. They should have done more flashbacks too, to give context and exposition. But instead, everything is given to us like you would in a book. (And this is coming from someone who read the books years ago so I NEED this exposition because I don't remember a lot of details, but the exposition isn't even helpful and the writing doesn't keep me engaged enough for me to even pay attention to the exposition!) The actors are doing the best with the material they have, they're all really precious, but this writing and directing is hurting their acting so bad. The dialogue and scenes are so awkward, which hurts the chemistry between the characters too (I expand on my issues with the characters later).

A lot of the tone and pacing issues could just be a book-to-tv adaptation thing because we're no longer in Percy's head with his funny sarcastic remarks and long paragraphs that can give us context. But then why didn't they include narration? Why didn't they keep it up after the intro in episode 1?? Why did they even include that bit if they weren't going to keep it up?? We have 4th-wall narration in lots of things these days (from the top of my head, Fleabag and Deadpool), usually done for comedic and style effect. This would help so much with the pacing and tone! the lost potential is so frustrating. Many movies/shows don't need narration; this one could have benefitted so much from it.

The show is not funny whatsoever when the books are hilarious. At no point did I laugh out loud here. Such a crime. I hate to be one of THOSE but the movies at least got the unserious and funny beats right. Like why is the music in this show just an epic forgettable MCU-like soundtrack but with a serious tone? Why didn't they include modern or campy songs? They should have taken clues from the Umbrella Academy's first seasons. And they could have included Greek music in it too! How cool would that have been? It's not a bad soundtrack by any means, but if nothing else is used in a very strange manner in some scenes because it sometimes cuts the action or doesn't match the energy or vibe of the scenes. The visuals and settings are pretty good, I admit, but these are underserviced by the entire production's lack of style and music and tone are a big part of that.

Some people have said the action scenes are bad, but I feel the problem is there's no sense of urgency, of danger (no layered storytelling here either). The fights with the monsters are okay, great even, the problem is this lack of excitement. The problem is the setups to the action: the lack of tension and then rushed resolutions. For example, they dragged the scenes with Medusa and Equidna talking that it lost all suspense. Equidna literally says instead of just jumping to it, showing what she would do to them kids. (Ok the chimera is cool tho, looks really cool. I want it as a pet 😊 And the editing when Percy falls from the arch is pretty cool too, rare exception.)

But most feels so underwhelming. These kids should also be running everywhere, not calmy walking (bad directing!) This makes the monsters not feel as menacing, because they always have time for a calm exposition break long conversations in the middle of what are supposed to be life-or-death encounters with ancient Greek monsters. And mind you, these pauses for conversation aren't even layered, they're often shot with a static camera, with dull dialogue no 12 yo would speak. They could be having these conversations while running, while hiding, while doing something else! Mix dialogue and action! Layered storytelling, it's about themes and characters but also about how you present the scenes themselves.

An adjacent problem is also that the actualization of the myths for a modern audience is a bit surface-level (like with Medusa). They could have done so much more here.

Now, issues with characterization:

Characters can really make or break a story. Here we have a lot of character inconsistencies, or rather, a lack of definition of the characters. It's not about the show being exactly accurate to the book here, it's the show wasting perfectly good character and plot moments from the show, while not being true to tone and to the core of the characters. Change in adaptations can be good, to consolidate or make things clearer and work for the new medium, but they character work here was very ineffective and inefficient.

Percy is supposed to be cunning, smart but not knowledgeable about the Greek world. The show has this being reversed many times.

Grover is perceptive and has more life experience but he is reduced to nothing here. Like I'm wondering why is he even here?

And Annabeth... Oh. Annabeth is a hard character to portray and write, tbh, it's easy to make her unlikable and straightforward, can very easily come off as annoying, pedantic perhaps, though I am all for unlikeable female heroines. But this is such a baffling iteration of her character. She comes off as a stalker in the first episodes, then she's mean and bossy yet she doesn't seem to actually plan or have good strategies (all is deferred to Percy really), then she sort of uses "the power of friendship" to resolve things but never her growing wisdom. Yes, she could be weird and caring and smart but they didn't nail any of those traits either. They striped her of any complexity. But my biggest gripe is that they didn't make Annabeth nerdy enough! Annabeth sure recalls a lot of facts during the show to look smart I suppose, but she rarely gets to problem solve or truly nerd out neurodivergent kid style, which I think is a huge missed opportunity.

An example, which might be very niche but it shows my issue with her characterization and I have to talk about it cause I'm a physics nerd (literally, it's my major), the part in the ST Louis Arch in episode 4 where she tells Percy and Grover stuff about the construction is so... basic. Like she just read it out of a tourist pamphlet or something. She just says how tall and wide the arch is and that it's symmetrical. That's it. Right...

Why didn't she mention what type of arch it is?? (A catenary arch, more specifically one that follows a weighted catenary curve. It isn't just held by "symmetry" it's tension! It's cool math!) Maybe she even mentions that it's a hyperbolic function and Percy and Grover can be like omg what are you even talking about, and she keeps going on and on about calculus and architecture, like a neurodivergent kid would about their interests. I mean, sure she's like 12, but she's supposed to be like a gifted kid, daughter of Athena, right? She probably knows some of the science and engineering behind the arch. Missed opportunity. Or maybe it's just that I see so much of myself in Annabeth and it hits too close when they can't make her justice. Idk. Like having a true nerdy, brilliant, neurodivergent, bossy but caring, black Annabeth would have been amazing. I guess the world wasn't ready for that.

This was episode 4 and the episodes are NOT getting better...

Also, Annabeth and Percy get sincere with each other really quickly after like 1 day of knowing each other, no layered storytelling or emotional reactions to them baring their deepest fears and darkest backstories either. (Poor kids are doing their best with mediocre adaptation, though Walker is carrying the show at this point, tbh.)

Annabeth and Luke's relationship also suffers a lot from telling and no showing. Why don't we have flashbacks?? Such a missed opportunity for a show. As a rule, showing isn't superior to telling, but these two techniques need to be balanced in the writing, they can be combined too to serve the story during a specific scene or passage. In this case, telling was the wrong way.

For Luke, if they want his arc to have the emotional hit it has in the book, they really needed to build his character more and give him more screen time! Which could have been done with flashbacks. Because with Annabeth's stoic acting, too, we don't really get the emotional reactions appropriate to the events she recounts. So how are we going to feel with the betrayal since the relationship hasn't been built strongly so far? Nothing. We'll feel nothing.

Annabeth's actress is doing her best with what she's given she portrays her like she's in a Disney Channel kids sitcom from the 90s, deadpan but snarky, which is not a flavour of acting that helps this adaptation. This might be a larger directing issue, though, because Percy barely reacts when he sees his mother "die" in front of him.

Anyway, Flashbacks and narration could have saved this series alone, tbh. We don't even know how Thalia looks like! How are we gonna know it's her at the end of the book with the fleece reveal??

Ok, disclaimer, I didn't finish the show. I got distracted and bored and couldn't be bothered. I think I stopped after the Underworld episode (episode 7 I think.) I couldn't be bothered to watch the finale even with Toby Stephens in it. That's how enthusiastic I am about this.

Also a bit of a nitpick but why isn't it explained why are Percy and Sally are stuck with Gabe in the first place? About his scent? Why is the abuse so... sanitized too? Like yeah, we could have a more psychological and verbal form of abuse situation, of course, but we also didn't get that? Gabe was just unpleasant and a bit of a jerk, pathetic, but that was basically all. Also, no explanation for the blue food?? When it's such insight into Percy's relationship with his mom?? So much EXPOSITION in this series yet they missed many of the important parts!

Disney watered down Sally too. They really did. Her makeup is nice though.

So... yeah, they could be doing so much more with all the characters.

Concluding thoughts:

I don't hate the show (the visuals are great and Walker Scobell's acting is amazing, such a young talent!), but every time I finish watching an episode, I'm just bored and underwhelmed and wished I had done something else with my time.

I know it's frustrating that in previous decades usually had 20+ episodes, plus season 1 and 2 being shot side by side so we didn't even have to wait and fear of cancellation after so little; shows really don't have to be perfect from season 1, they need room to grow, but they have to have SOMETHING to pull the viewer in from the beginning, to make them stay. Anything! This show is giving me nothing to work with. I do hope the show gets better in season 2, and I understand that the 8-episode-season model is a constraint for writers, but I still think it could have done much better with the resources it did have.

For example, Black Sails had an infamous first season, but then it grew to be what imo is the best show ever put to TV. And yes, it took a while for it to find its perfect footing, but it was like a delicious cake that maybe has some bad frosting but the foundation is there, it just needs polishing and a few changes. But this PJO show doesn't live up to its potential and it's just so frustrating because I wanted to love this show so much but I'm finding it difficult to think of anything that I truly loved about it other than Walker Scobell's acting and course Toby Stephens (but I already love him from his previous work so it hardly counts).

Honestly, I'm a little bit tired of discourse going around saying that critiquing a show from season 1 is not acceptable because the show hasn't finished growing and we want a second season, we don't want the criticism to affect a season 2. But this is irrelevant and that's not how media criticism works. People can get very on board with good shoes from 1 season alone. That's no excuse. There are genuinely good book adaptations out there that make changes for the better and get a good foothold from the get-go! Look at Lockwood & Co, OPLA or Anne with an E. It can totally be done. The criticisms we have are precisely because we love the books, because we wanted this adaptation to succeed, because we wanted to love it, but it disappointed us. And we are allowed to voice that, as long as is done in good faith.

I'm happy this show got renewed because of the fans who enjoyed it, love the Percy Jackson series, it is truly dear to my heart, but would I be sad if the show was cancelled? Honestly, no. I couldn't care less what happens to this show at this point. Why should I? I was given no reason to care, aside from my already existing love for the books. I'm not intrigued about how they're going to adapt book 2, I didn't connect with the characters, I wasn't having fun. Nothing. And sure, I want young kids to be introduced to Percy Jackson, great if it's through this show, I want younger generations to love this series too, but I don't know any gen alpha who would enjoy such a show. (Hell, I really wanted my audience-age-appropriate niece to love it, but she couldn't care less about it and jeez, I wonder why...) Kids deserve better shows than this.

Will I watch season 2? Idk. Maybe? I can put it in the background while doing something else perhaps. I do hope they improve stuff but I don't have my hopes up. Will I watch episode 8? No. Life's too short. I already read the books so why bother (hehe)

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

Hi Mara,

Do you have any advice for those struggling with desire (or lack thereof, rather), getting things done and enjoying it?

I’ve been in a bit of a rut, I was persuaded that the issue was with brain chemicals, as usual, and that I’ve been indulging in way too many ‘cheap pleasures’ that I had to cut out of my life in order to actually be able to live and enjoy life. It didn’t work, and now I find it harder than ever to do things which, I think, used to give me pleasure: playing video games, watching anime, reading, net surfing. It feels as though the only things I find more or less easy to start and continue doing are obligations forced on me from the outside, by people or otherwise, and to get out of work, buying groceries, eating, empty pleasantries, conforming—means certain death, and so I have no other choice.

I wonder if there’s a way to live without having to have a guillotine blade always hanging above my head, swish-swoosh.

Love your art and writing. Hope you have a good day today. Peace!

my notes from church this morning;

well anonymous, i think you are the second person in the past several months to ask me this specific thing and mostly i:m bewildered here as: "nothing in life gives me much joy" has been my stated 'thing to whine about' as a general theme--and if i can:t help myself, surely i can:t help you or another, either;

though that:s not necessarily true, and i think mostly how you view your issue shapes the root of your pains; if you view it as something dearly in need of fixing: my sincere advice is to start shedding all the dumb pride you have surrounding your problem (half saying this vaguely, but also half sincerely gesturing at how you frame yourself as 'having a guillotine' weighed against you like the worst thing in life is to have obligations and conformity) and bite the therapeutic bullet and be open to treating your little psychiatric demon--may-be you have ADHD and starting medication could bleed some passion back in-to you: surely they'd know better than you or i.

how i deal with it, or how i have dealt with it, is mostly to just recognize this 'lacking' as part of my person and material, and the consequence of becoming a penance for me to live with; in recognizing the issue as a penance with which i venerate these pocks inside me and the relationship with the goodly material i find some purpose, and some purpose in-turn makes the "lack of joy" feel less consuming and whole: as there is goodly material around the pocks, sure enough; and sure enough: though i whine about art being uninteresting, and writing being boring, and tricking myself with exercise/work/chores as an excuse to listen to audiobooks and anime: i still find some precious slants of joy slipping through blinds i had thought shut; food has gone mostly tasteless but sometimes i:m surprised; games have gone dull but i love watching grubby wc3 videos and catching a warm little spark of child-me's fascination with blizzard games; obligations of work and chores can feel like my body is slowly being ground away in monotony, but gosh do i love listening to stephen king audiobooks (i:m on The Dead Zone right now, finished Mr Mercedes two nights ago); and sometimes the sun even rises: i:ve been excited to read in quiet hours again, and i:ve been forcing myself to write a few paragraphs for my isekai-fiction in the mornings.

if little whispers from the heart, in turn whispered to it by these little nibbling voices everywhere, make it such that you think the icon with which you are sculpting is infested and ruined, and that your tools in turn you hold are both infested and ruined, then the whole world itself will become ruinous and infested--but never is it that way completely, unfortunately, and its both of our burdens to bear always having hope.

the guillotine is imaginary, anonymous, even if death is guaranteed eventually. take care!

[keyboardandquill]

I keep getting writer's block in every. single. scene.

so, a while back I wrote a post about writing badly on purpose as a motivation for myself and others to push through when we feel our writing isn't good enough.

while I still stand by what I wrote in that post, I've still been struggling with achieving and keeping forward momentum. I keep getting bored with what I'm writing, and this happens on every single scene.

eventually I figure out where the block is, fix it, and move on. but it inevitably happens again.

recently, I read a post I read about undercutting tension by @septembercfawkes.

in the post, September talks about writing tension threads through to their conclusion while balancing additional threads of tension in the background so the scene doesn't take a nose dive once that conclusion is reached.

I realized, hey! that's what's been happening to me!

so...... how do I overcome that? it's not as easy as simply Doing. I have to figure out why I keep copping out on my tension.

For me, I think it's a combination of things.

first, I have ADHD and find it difficult to finish stuff (including scenes!) because I'm already thinking of the next scene or project.

second, I'm a pantser (for the most part), so I don't often know how a scene is going to end. that often translates to summarizing what happens next in only a paragraph or two so I can get on to the next scene.

third, and I think this is the big one: I get tunnel vision. In my focus on getting from point A to point B, I simply forget about every other thread of tension I have going.

there isn't much I can do about the ADHD, but the pantsing + tunnel vision combo? I can work with that.

I don't "Plot" in general because, in telling the whole story like that, my brain says I'm done and tries to move on to another project. However, I think I'll personally benefit from some limited planning. Micro-plotting the scene I'm about to write, and ONLY that scene.

the funny thing is, I've known for a while that I find it helpful to note what needs to happen in the current scene. I think I still struggled despite that because I wasn't consciously aware of the need to pay attention to my tension. (pay at...tension? eh? eh? anyone?)

anyway, I think I'll come up with a list of generic questions to ask myself before I move on to the next scene or chapter to help keep myself focused on the big picture.

(this is a reminder to myself not to consider these questions set in stone, and not to worry too much about answering them if I'm in a flow state with my writing during a given session. this is also a reminder to you as a writer, if you're still reading after that atrocious pun I made two paragraphs back. <3)

the questions will include:

do the characters need to react to something major that happened last scene?

did the characters learn something they have to follow up on/debate about?

what threads of tension were resolved last scene?

what threads of tension are still on-going as of the end of the last scene?

what new threads of tension might start in this upcoming scene?

I might make the questions their own post, now that I think about it. I'm also going to write them on a sticky note and put them above my monitor so they're close at hand. otherwise they're out of sight, out of mind. (which is another problem I have related to the tunnel vision. because I'm so focused on the Point of what I'm writing in a given moment, I'll forget to look at scene structure, which is an important part of Not Getting Writer's Block. so it goes.)

anyway, thanks for following along with my rambling, and I hope I said something that helps you in your own process! happy writing! <3

[notafragileegg]

Ever felt extremely tired / straight up fell asleep due to boredom? Congratulations! You might have experienced this weird thing called "intrusive sleep".

(I am gonna link a few sources, it's a really fascinating thing) Intrusive sleep is such a weird thing. It happens particularly often in people with ADHD.

Our nervous systems apparently just disengage out of SHEER BOREDOM! It might lead to drowsiness or collapse on the spot due to abrupt tiredness.

Apparently, it happens because our brains see no point in "wasting energy" on the current task

Article 1 | Article 2

My personal experience with this is something I'd like to share. I luckily don't have the variant where I just suddenly drop to the floor and sleep. I occasionally get extremely tired and drowsy when I don't know what to do / get overwhelmed with a boring task. It's like an INTENSE feeling of tiredness that takes over my entire body and sensory processing. Things start moving slower, my thoughts start forming into dreams and I fall asleep within 1-2 minutes for a couple of minutes to an hour.

This is extremely difficult to handle when I have to listen to a monotone teacher, watch a documentary, or even read a book. My brain just goes "oh... well, fuck this" and just sends me to sleep.

The part that annoys me most is when I tell people about this problem I have, that's actually impacting my ability to live like I want to, some have told me that I should be thankful for being able to fall asleep on command. The thing is, this is not a restful sleep, nor is it like a nap, it's almost like I just lose all motor ability, skip a bit of time, and wake up like nothing happened. Maybe my hand is sore because I fell asleep on top of it, but that's pretty much the only change besides a bit of left-over drowsiness. + IT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T WANT IT TO

I have only recently tried to do something against it after realizing it's most likely an ADHD thing - so I took the approach of pumping myself with AS MUCH GOOD STIMULATION AS I CAN HANDLE until I am awake; I put on some music, get some easy snacks, fill my water bottle with cold water and just hope, that that's enough to basically stop my brain from deactivating me temporarily.

Intrusive sleep is definitely something I want to learn more about and might make a follow-up post about. I just had this intense urge to write a post at 2am (this definitely doesn't help with my other sleep issues lmao). I just hope it's legible and hopefully somewhat interesting to read.

[bg-brainrot]

Sooooo curious as to your writing process. What is it like ? How do you come up with plot points ? Or how do you decide one idea is better than another ? Where do you find inspiration ? Sorry for so many questions !

Hello Anon! No need to apologize, these are all awesome questions ✨✨ thanks for asking them!

This is going to be a long one, so a quick read more...

I'm actually going to answer them out of order, so I hope you don't mind!

A quick disclaimer: this is just how my brain approaches it, but everyone is different! Also I'm a fanfic writer doing this in my free time, none of this is professional advice or anything so take it with a grain of salt.

Where do you find inspiration?

I am one of those people who cannot stop reading, writing, watching, listening, etc. because if I'm left alone with my thoughts for too long nothing good will come of it lol. So I am constantly, constantly doing something, usually two things if I can (writing and listening to music, working out and reading webtoons, playing games and listening to audio books, playing D&D and doodling, embroidery and watching TV, the list goes on). So, to answer your question: everywhere!

Every thing I do, even if I ended up hated it, is such great inspiration to draw from. If I were to give a few things extra props, I would say D&D is phenomenal experience in putting yourself in various characters shoes and learning how to react, and webtoons are great for tropes/subverting them as well as pacing (both good and bad hah). Edit to add: Anime. I've mentioned I based my fic's arcs on anime arcs and completely forgot to list it-- very key to my inspiration!

Also lots and lots of hobbies and I will always try anything once. I've rock climbed, I've crocheted, I've done pottery, I've lockpicked (for real), I've danced, I've metal worked, I've done martial arts, etc. ADHD helps with this one 😅

Real life experiences are super helpful, but it's kind of harder to pinpoint how those are inspirational, they just kind of are.

How do you come up with plot points?

I think I once vaguely mentioned that writing BG3 fanfic feels like playing solo D&D. And that's basically how I approach plot points!

So rather than like, this happens then this happens, I look at it as if I have a framework of what I would like to happen, with certain beats that need to be met, but then I just kind of let the characters roleplay that out. Sometimes it leads to things I wasn't expecting, sometimes I need to pivot like a DM with an unruly party lol. But, since I'm working with a framework, it's usually really easy to write around the characters' choices.

For the framework itself, I usually just have a vague idea that I try to poke holes into until it turns into something bigger. So like, "reincarnation story" -> how long are they dead? Is that long enough to be impactful? Why do they care about their previous life? In what ways can they pick up from where they left off and in what ways can't they?

I do the same with one-shots to be honest: "proposing to Astarion" -> who would be involved and how? How would Tav's behavior change? How would Astarion interpret that? How would Tav react to him and pivot?

It's just a lot of questions 😂

How do you decide one idea is better than another?

This is kind of tough to do, and not always a conscious choice I'd say, but roughly two factors:

1. Is this true to the character? Which idea am I more likely to go 'oh yes, he would absolutely do that'? And if they both seem equally likely, which idea would lead to the character experiencing more growth or more actual challenge?

2. Do I like it? Honestly, the most important one for someone like me with ADHD. Because if I don't like it, it won't get written lol. If I like two ideas, but one of them is pulling me toward it with half written dialogue and full on scenes playing in my head, I know which one I'll pick every time.

What is your writing process like?

With all of the above said, my writing process is kind of all over the place. But a very, very rough outline, using one of the one-shots rotting in my drafts as an example...

First comes the idea. Ex: 'Tav and Astarion sparring early game'

Then comes a rough framework. Ex: you're sparring with a party member -> Astarion is watching, amused -> you convince him to spar you somehow -> sparring happens -> Astarion is impressed, intrigued

Then usually comes dialogue (though admittedly sometimes this comes first hah), because I like to build around the decisions they make. Ex: "Oh my dear, surely you can do better than that!" -> first thing I wrote for the fic. Kind of sets the mood, the tone.

Then I kind of write whichever scenes either need to be added to help me understand where the story is going or I add the scenes I want to write (knowing that's a dangerous game, since I might lose interest if all the fun is done upfront).

Once I'm done writing, I reread it once for typos, flow issues, inconsistencies and the like. If I read it too many times I start to overanalyze it, so I try to just release it into the world before that happens lol.

A few added steps that don't always happen:

If I get stuck on a scene: I read the sections leading up to it out loud, hoping my mouth will just fill in the rest (works out a lot of the time 😂)

If I don't like the way the dialogue sounds: I put on my best Astarion and Tav accents and act it out. Usually helps me figure it out or at least catch where it's snagging.

If I think something a character does just isn't making sense: 'ugh, that's ridiculous, why would you do that?' -> usually it means I either didn't set the scene up right, didn't give it enough background or context, or I'm not understanding the motivations enough-- all of which I need to go back and flesh out more.

If I don't like what I'm writing anymore: deadly for a brain like mine, really, but I've found ways around it pretty well. First, reread the fic! I usually want to know what happens next and my brain will kick back into high gear. Then listen to a song that evokes the feel I want from the fic. Sometimes I'll listen to it on repeat as I'm driving, doing dishes, playing a game. Like it's infusing into me lol. And if neither of those work, I try to give myself a challenge. Like, write a sentence and see if I can make it fit into the fic -- it doesn't actually need to go into the final version, but the challenge is what gets me up and going.

Anyway! That was a whole lot. I hope some of it was helpful, and most of it made sense hah. Again, thanks so much for the question anon! I love answering these ❤️

[novelcain]

I have a small head cannon now with my version of reader that I wanted to share with you:

She has a lotus pin in her hair due to her association with Quanyin and it has the added bonus of extra protection (like a protection seal)

Just wanted to share, now I’m going back into my hole to finally finish a fic that’s been giving me writers block for two months now.

*gets slapped with writers block in the face*

Gosh darn it….

(By the way any tips on how to overcome writers block?)

That's a pretty interesting idea. Like a lil fashionable talisman~

And good luck with your writing hope you can get through the writers block

As far as tips go, I unfortunately can't help much in the writer's/artist's block since I don't really get it.😬 If anything I just get bursts of laziness where I don't wanna pick up my laptop cause that's too much effort and so end up curled up in my nest scrolling through tiktok all day. But to remedy that, I just force myself to pick up my laptop or @lovesick-ritz will kindly hand it to me so I can get things done.

So here's the tips that I could think of:

Set a designated area or method for writing (ex. I only write on my laptop bc I've assigned it mentally as my preferred place to write)

Make it as easy as possible for you to write (ie. leave the writing tabs open. I personally never have word closed there's always at least my notes tab open but I usually have at least 3 word tabs don't ask me why I'm addicted to keeping tabs open)

Try to get rid of as many distractions as you can like unneeded social media (having a tumblr tab open is always my down fall cause I get distracted by asks)

Since I have adhd and autism complete silence honestly distracts me more than anything so I like to play this 10 hour thunder storm video on YouTube (this also helps with my tinnitus in case anyone else got that)

Another thing I've been told that help is just start writing little notes or just anything at all and maybe that'll spur you into what you want to be writing

Also some random tips if found useful when it comes to writing/drawing:

If you hyperfixate on writing and drawing for long periods of time like I do (like I'm talking about 8 hour sit down don't move sessions) get water and a couple snacks before you start and be sure to stretch at least once an hour

Remember to specifically do full hand stretches to avoid carpal tunnel and writer's/artist's arthritis

Try to get up and walk around as much as possible (if you can as someone with walking issues I know that isn't always easy or even possible)

One thing I like to do to rest my eyes and brain is after a few hours I'll go to Spotify and play a few songs (or in my case one song on repeat I've been particularly obsessed with the Epic sagas since they've come out and have been constant listening to Survive in the Cyclops saga) with your eyes closed. Staring at a screen all day can be harmful to your eyes and brain.

And for drawing with adhd, if you're working on a long piece it can get frustrating to work on one part for long periods of time so keep in mind that if you're start to feel bored or tired with the part that you're working on it's ok to move to a different part. (ie. you've been working on the hair for a while and start to feel understimulated to move to the face or even a completely different area so get that stimulation) It's not like a story where you gotta remember plot points and continuity the whole thing is right there so just work on whatever part catches your fancy. Or hell if you get bored just draw lil scribbles for a second in a corner somewhere until you feel up to going back to the piece.

Please keep in mind while reading these that I by no means have healthy habits. As I stated I hyperfixate on projects and will often neglect my human needs for extremely long periods on accident; however, I am lucky enough to have a very attentive partner that reminds me and encourages me to take care of myself and helps me when I can't. (Love you Ritz. Literally couldn't live without you~ mwah💜)

HOWEVER! Because of this I am extremely used to living with unhealthy habits and have an OBSENE amount of tips for dealing/living with them so if anyone wants some autism/adhd/depression/anxiety (all of which I have kinda extreme forms of) life tips lemme know and I'll write a whole essay for you. Tho again I will say these tips are not cures. These conditions are permanent so these tips would just be ways to make living with them a little easier. (Honestly I might just make that post even if no one asks for it on the off chance that helps even one person)

[leorawright]

oh my gosh how did i miss that u have overwatch matchups available???(it's a very easy answer. i am never on tumblr)

If you would be so kind as to do romantic one for me:

I am a genderfluid afab person and the only thing shorter than me is my patience. I am demisexual/demiromantic, poly, and like all genders.

I get angry really easily but hate showing it so i just end up going around in a bad mood acting like everything is ok

i have pretty bad anxiety and appreciate having someone confident enough around to help me with simple tasks(ex ordering food or speaking on the phone) but who won't make fun of me. I can also send myself into a spiral by thinking of things that stress me out. So someone who is a steady presence i always appreciate.

I enjoy all things creative. I mostly write and draw but am willing to try new things all the time.

I look at things in a very logical way. I don't like using my emotions to make decisions and i enjoy learning new things all the time. I am a naturally curious person who is always looking to expand my knowledge.

I have a mix of so many things wrong with my brain. ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression. I work really hard on them but sometimes i have days where i just struggle.

Mixed and can speak a lil bit of spanish. It isn't perfect but i can struggle my way thru most conversations.

I really like someone who is open with what i do wrong. Just tell me what i need to fix and don't make it into a whole thing. Open communication is very important to me. I don't want to feel like im walking on eggshells around them if they are too sensitive

I am a VERY determined person, once i set my mind on something i won't give up easily. I can almost be stubborn in my pursuit of goals.

I enjoy gaming, reading, watching anime/cartoons(i don't rlly like live action shows), drawing, and learning new things.

I LOVE cooking. Giving food to others and sharing a meal/snacks is a way of showing love to me. I honestly take it a bit like an insult if someone i care about isn't willing to give me a bite of food off their plate. I know it's silly so i never say anything about it or hold it against them. But to me sharing food and wanting others to experience the same good food as you is the same as saying "i love you" a million times.

I like toys and stuffed animals and cartoons and other stereotypically "childish" things. I'm not ashamed of it.. (well... usually...)

I love joking around and a good pun can get me wheezing from laughter.

I'm not much of a social person, and prefer to spend my time indoors and alone with only one or two other people. I enjoy parallel play and comfortable silences.

I hope this wasn't too much... i just can be really wordy and ramble a lot.. sorry!

I've picked out....

Zenyatta!

Definitely the calm presence you need and never ever considers making fun of you for your social anxiety.

He enjoys seeing the things you write and draw and offers genuine compliments about everything

He also encourages having direct conversations and if he ever needs to talk to you he'll get straight to the point

He thinks your determination is admirable. Just make sure you eat and drink and take breaks or else he'll get super concerned

He can't really eat any of the food you make but he wishes he could (if only to see you smile)

Expect to receive a couple stuffed animals that he saw and got because he thought of you

If you enjoy a bit of sarcastic or sassy humor then Zenyatta will definitely make you laugh (he still doesn't really understand normal jokes tho...)

Zenyatta also enjoys comfortable silence especially if he's meditating you're just doing your usual things

[rottytops]

i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....



i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG



anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

[expressionbean]

updates updates! all great things. i just want to get it out buuut nobody irl is currently available to listen to theo scream time. buckle up friends

first, i'm trying to clean up all my blogs. very excited because i'm getting more time to write now than i have the past month or so.

back to school rush is over at work. that means i don't get scheduled for shifts every single day! i will get scheduled a lot during home football games because i work in a college town in the south USA. football is a big deal here. however, i have days off now, which is really nice.

as for academics: i'm talking with one of my professors later this week about possibly seeking a master's degree in actuarial science or pursuing actuarial science in general - i like the risk management side of my degree program a lot more than i thought and a job that combines risk management with statistics and data analytics... exciting. making grabby hands right now for real.

i'm doing a bunch of stuff with WSIA (wholesale & specialty insurance association) this year as usual, including traveling to conferences if all goes well. i very well may also be traveling (on a scholarship!) to london next year, so now i'm trying to go through passport obtaining hell. it's quite the process to get one these days, but it's really exciting and feels more real than it did last year.

studying for my upcoming exams is going pretty good so far. for the non-risk management/insurance/actuarial science people, i'm trying to get a lot of certificates by january 2024 and then a few more in may 2024. for anyone who does want specifics or is just curious, the next paragraphs go over what i'm actually up to with those! feel free to skip over it lol. i'll put it under a cut so it's not too long!

i have a few exams for the cpcu (chartered property/casualty underwriter designation, very very hard to obtain and holds a LOT of weight in the industry - some companies treat it like a master's degree and those who hold it do indeed sign off with it much like lawyers sign off with JD) coming up. i won't be able to get the full designation by the end of my bachelor's degree, but i will be able to get a couple!

i found out recently that i may not have to take section 520 of it at all because i attend one of a few accredited schools in the country, and my insurance ops class lets me have a waiver for it if i pass with an 80 or higher. i don't think they'll let me have a waiver for 500 since the associated class i made literally a 79, but i'll apply anyway. the ethics portion should be easy and i can schedule that for... whenever. i just have to find a block of time where i can sit and do it.

as for the exam i'm really worried about, i'm taking the alabama department of insurance's property and casualty license exam in december. and normally, i wouldn't be worried because i love p&c, but the studying materials are so awful. they're dense and have no graphs, section breaks, spacing, pictures, nothing!

it's just hundreds of pages of text in small black serif font. i'm going to break out my dinosaur sticky tabs. and my highlighters. and i will hope my ADHD brain gets excited enough about the dinosaurs to let me read the prep manual. my professor for my p&c class is letting me quiz one of the sections on thursday and i've barely opened the book. LMAO.

anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far! i hope y'all have a lovely week.

[syneilesis]

Things I've learned and realized writing the fics for Inky's one-week challenge:

I'm a very slow writer; I genuinely struggle writing at least 500 words in one sitting. On good days, I can do 200 words. Inspired, maybe more. Ficlets like ekphrasis and others take me an entire day to finish. It's probably because I start writing with only a vague idea of how to go about it, or I only know the mood but not the details. I'm self-aware enough to be cognizant of my strengths and weaknesses, and I tend to stick to what works for me.

I've always wanted to write lengthy fics! But I never was the kind of writer who could hit more than 10k-word one-shots. My style doesn't lend to that kind of length. When I saw Inky's challenge and read that the max word count per entry is 500 words, I thought to myself, Ooh, I think I can do that. Regardless of the prompts -- though they help too; dialogue and AUs lend to a broadness that appeal to my rigid brain. A 500-word fic means in most cases a one-scene fic. Which frees my mind of context necessary to establish a setting. I don't have to come up with an elaborate backstory and/or explanation why this detail is like this, that detail is like that -- AUs as a trope can fill in the missing pieces to make your fic coherent.

My first fic entry was something that I plan on writing in the future, so it's easy to write it, but it still took me longer (but still within the range of my speed). My second, third, and fourth, I tried something a bit different: I used StimuWrite, an app that helps you focus on writing -- it's also known as a writing tool useful for people with ADHD.

It has a simple UI, with a word count goal and emojis that appear whenever you type words. I chose these settings: darker background (it doesn't hurt the eyes) and typewriter sfx for that legit typing feel. I may put in a bgm from youtube or something, but sometimes I just want to listen only to the sounds of typewriter keys.

I tried StimuWrite before, but it didn't work for me. I gave it another chance this time, and oh lord it's very effective???!???!!!!! I finished 3 fics in under a day. So last Sunday I wrote give or take 2,000 words, which truly blew my mind. As an aside, I recommend you try StimuWrite; it might be effective for you too.

Because of that surprising writing streak, I continued using the app for the rest of the fics. And that writing streak persists! I feel relieved, I feel elated, I feel like I can do this. It's as if my brain loosened up enough to let me do what I want. I'll definitely use StimuWrite in my other fics too --

-- with some conditions, of course. All I know right now is that it works for me if I have a target word count in mind (under 600) and that it's only concentrated on a single scene. So I could focus on one scene whenever I open up the app. But that means that I have an outline of my fic, which isn't a problem for me because I like the mental exercise of outlining. I hope that this would help me come November, as I'll participate in Nanowrimo with my original story project.

Another point I've realized is that limiting yourself with a word count improves your editing skills. I do edit and revise my fics -- but they're mostly in the sort of 'i'll delete this passage because it no longer fits' and 'i'll rephrase this because it sounds awkward'. But in the cases of my sixth and seventh event fics, I had to pare them down because I exceeded the word count requirement. Initially I was reluctant to remove passages but I had to. So I did. I removed some bits and details of the story but rephrased others to still fit them in. I have to shorten some scenes -- and this is revelatory to me somewhat -- which is actually effective for fast-paced action scenes that needed fewer words but with the largest possible impact. Sometimes, shorter is better. It made me productive, for one.

Anyway, this got long wtf? I don't even know if I was coherent about it. There are still a lot of things I'd like to improve on -- such as relying less on my crutch words and metaphors. I haven't the opportunity to read a lot lately, so I need to try at least one page a day. The book I'm currently reading has been sitting on my desk for months. Back then, when I said I wouldn't make a list of read books per year to stop pressuring myself, I didn't mean not to read books at all lmao.

I don't know how to end this post so here's a gif of a puppy on a bowl:

[lindira]

I finished a book today! First time in about a year that I’ve finished a book that I wasn’t reading to my kids. (Which, yes, is still reading. But also I’d like to be able to read things that aren’t by Rick Riordan.)

It was Half a King by Joe Abercrombie, which my ADHD brain found compelling and easy enough to read to plow through it. I’m trying to find his other books on Libby, but my local library apparently has very few of the fantasy books I want to read.

This makes me especially happy because I’m trying to better my writing, and I felt my inability to get through books due to my ADHD was making me hit a plateau. I’m hoping to find other books that I can get through. It’d be nice to read a few more.

[spotsandsocks]

2, 7, 16, 20, 23 for fandom asks 💜

Hi there thanks for asks (had to think about these questions ☺️)

2 headcannon not sure I liked at first but have come to…. Can’t think of anything I didn’t like but I’m very attached to Buck as adhd

7 favourite tropes to read (I’ve done the ones I write) I like to read soft and fluffy bits of tension, that ache you get with a bit of longing just before they kiss… that’s my fav bit

16 a tiny detail in canon that you want people to appreciate more good you’re stretching my brain here… chim’s relationship with the Lees I’d like to see that more and also see more in cannon.

20 very first fandom - that ones easy Star Trek, got into TNG big time as a teen already a casual fan of TOS and films…

23 fandom curious about because of a mutual I see a lot of IWTV and Stranger Things, Hannibal too not really my thing so not too tempted by them… ST watched season 1 cos of seeing stuff but gave up season 2 someone’s 😉 been posting about queer as folk recently and I’ve never watched it… often wanted to but before you get excited I know I won’t as I never have enough TIME!!! maybe one day when I’ve retired…

Hope you have a fun weekend my dear 💜💜💜

[qweei]

being both autistic and having adhd is one hell of a combo. yes they are very similar and overlap a lot in traits but at the same time a lot of methods that work for helping one thing contradicts the other.

just for convenience sake because i suck at explaining, im gonna talk about autism and adhd as if they are detached from me, its gonna sound a bit weird but hear me out

my autism = routines, order, structure etc to function. a straight forward kind of thinking so everything is easy for my brain to comprehend in order to not get stressed or overwhelmed.

and then my adhd that's the complete opposite of that. it makes me stressed about that structure and makes me feel restricted. it prefers impulse and trying new things. and if it doesn't get that, i become almost depressed?

my adhd constantly needs stimulants, i cant do anything without blasting music or putting a video on the side because silence is unbearable, BUT because i'm autistic too, i also get overwhelmed by all the things that happen at once! like at this point what am i supposed to do when they both need different things that contradict each other? its like a never ending war especially since at the time im writing this im unsuccessful in finding adhd medication that work and right now i feel like that's my only hope for improvement?

ive only gotten diagnosed with adhd recently and ive been masking my traits from it for almost my whole life until recently so everythings still very new to me and im still in the progress of learning, so sorry if i said or got anything wrong. this is just my personal experience so far.

most of this might also be heavily related to me being mentally ill on top of this but i won't go into detail about that here.

ive rambled enough but if anyone reading this can relate or give any advice that worked for you please do share i'd love to hear it

[dxsertrot]

I'm really starting to firmly believe I have adhd. At first I was cool with it being speculative, but it feels like it actually interferes with my life. Maybe I should get a professional diagnosis and consider Adderall. It's just hard for me to know because everyone thinks they have adhd nowadays. Sometimes I even wonder about the legitimacy of adhd being a thing (in terms of it being classified as a neurological problem) but it's becoming harder and harder to live with as my work becomes more specified and focused. It's really hard for me to focus and pay attention. I move so fast I overlook simple things. My brain has never worked the way I would like it to, when it seems so easy for everyone else. I've always been critiqued at work for moving too quickly and overlooking things because of that. And now I'm at a job where I cannot afford to be that way. I have always struggled badly with instructions and now I have a job where all I do is follow very specific instructions. Because if I don't I can literally kill people. I'm only in training and I know this is all so new to me, but this isn't a new problem. It's a problem I've always been aware of but never knew how to fix. It's benefited me tremendously in many ways, to be so quick and always move with purpose and to never quite switch off, but now I NEED to be able to have an off switch to sit down and slow everything to break down what exactly I need to do. I cannot think of an instance where I've successfully done that. I get so frustrated with myself and feel so so stupid. I try eating really good, attempt to get good sleep, and try to engage in more thoughtful activities outside of work like reading and writing. I do all this in hopes it will fix my brain and I will be able to be the way that I want. I can't be organized for shit, never have been. Even when I try to be. Shit gets out of control so fast and I can't ever pinpoint how it got like that. I always thought adhd wasn't something I had because it doesn't seem to reflect as much outside of work and social interactions. I have no problem relaxing when I get home, I'm honestly anything but hyperactive when I'm home. I try to be. Plus there's the factor of phones absolutely destroying attention spans. But it's never just been my attention span. Sometimes I can pay really good attention. But more often than not I have to fuck up to understand something because instructions and verbal teaching isn't enough. And nobody ever noticed it in me as a kid. Sure I fidgeted but I was always glued to me seat, and I never distrusted class. I was horrifically shy and constantly lost in the classroom. But my last two years of school I wasn't! I did super well and paid really good attention in all my classes. Which is why it's so hard for me to grapple with why I'm having this problem again. Maybe because it's been a few years? I don't know. And then I'm scared that I will get an adhd diagnoses and be prescribed Adderall and have the same problems. I just feel like a dummy and everyone expects me to be so much more organized and detailed than I am because I'm a girl or some stupid shit. There's so many memories I have growing up and even of the past few years that make things make so much more sense with the context of having adhd, but what if I don't have it? Am I just stupid? A hopeless cause? I want to do better and be better and I genuinely try so hard and never get it right. And I feel people that I look up to judge me and be disappointed in me because of it. But I have no defense. I've got no diagnosis and I don't know how much it would cost to get one. I think I need to start doing serious research into getting one. I'm just getting so frustrated with myself and maybe it will help me be nicer to myself if I know it's not my fault and that there's ways of living with it and be successful at the things I want to be successful at. Because as it stands I can only be good at mindless work until I figure out how to get my shit organized, follow instructions, and slow down.