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missmarveledsblog · 4 months ago

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The one ( Bucky barnes x reader odindotter)

summary : just the grumpy teddy bear bucky pinning after thor sister that's been there through everything

warning: none , Bucky being a cutie , John walker being an ass , sam being the best wing man , mutual pining

One person , one singular person was all he wanted to see after it all . after the blip , the war against the mad tyrant and yet he was now staring at the face of a man he loathed , one who didn't deserve to hold the shield his best friend and brother had for a century. John walker stood an ego based attention hog who had the wrong morals and ideal that steve would generally cringe at . even with all this their was one person that occupied his mind , one that could truly make sense of all the craziness that he was now landed in. He walked as johns chest puffed out appearing to make himself so much bigger that he was , the words spilling from his mouth all bullshit and that thing he pass of as charm well a bag of rocks could do better and possibility even smarter . Bucky came to see her , knowing she was the only one that could truly understand what it is like to be in a place so alien and having those feeling of they didn't feel they belong in a sense. She could of been in new asgard with the rest of her people but she like this strange place. What made it funnier was he was actually of this planet and same time if someone told him it was mar or some shit he would actually believe them because still even after everything this didn't feel like earth . He watched her pretending to care , even the scowl of annoyance that grace her face that would of had loki proud. "So i think that why cardio is so important" john finished off the suggestable comment . " you know my brother would love to hear stuff like this" she smiled letting the poor mans hope rise. " although i find it all a bit boring more into the intellect of everything" her head tilted she had the man like a mouse on a string . " i mean yeah science of things but at the end of the day brawn defeat the brain" he chuckled . " i'm a goddess your brawn wouldn't tire me nor my brain" she rolled her eyes clearly done with the conversation scanning the room . " i bet i could tire you out" he winked . " the only way you could tire me out is too keep talking because it kinda putting me asleep" she fake a yawn before adding the stretching her arms to prove her point . " wow you really add to the bitchy princess stereotype" he scoffed. " oh little man i made it" she walked off eyes lighting up when she saw the man before her . " finally someone interesting" she called making the other man scoff.

It wasn't her intention to be bitchy maybe it was having loki as a big brother or the fact the man before her didn't know his ass from his elbow and yet he held something so important in his hands. She could of kept walking , ignored it and she was going to til his mouth opened once more. " really the killer" that sentence that made the fires of hel seem small to how it made her feel. " excuse me you back of the warehouse version of captain america , you wouldn't know the real downfall of earth or it's people . you hold that shield yet don't know one thing it represents nor the man that held it before you and yet you try cast you opinions on someone who went through so much and still stand before us today , if my father was alive he would agree that not one of us would have the same kind of heart and fight if we went through what that man has went through , all that pain and torture that would break you in a click of a finger" she snapped. " doll seriously it's ok" bucky said although someone should told his face with the smile having her defending him . " jame buchanan barnes and many other saved this whole universe and you dare try insult him , that shows you don't deserve that title you parade" she scoffed leaving john walker standing almost speechless . " hey little princess" sam called cutting bucky from speaking. " hello shall we leave or midgard will need a new captain" she smiled brightly . " actually we need your help" sam winked . " i feel like i should say no but lets go" she chuckled .

She sat on the ledge of helicopter watching the idiot well her favourite idiot fall to the ground and sam following after liking the new and improved wings. " you gonna jump out now?" torrez asked in awe and well slightly nervous giving who the woman is before him. " nah idiots forget i could of teleported us" she giggle before she was gone from his sight. Leaning over bucky as he lay out on the ground . " that was very stupid" she smiled holding her hand out. " well i mean i got down didn't i" he smirked back up at her. " your an old man it's quite dangerous" she laughed . " how old are you again" he shot back. " times different i mean in earth human years i'm only what twenty five" she tapped her chin . " wait so how old was loki when you know tried taking over earth " sam came to their side. " earth years sixteen" she walked off causing sam mouth to get louder at the new found knowledge . " your telling me grown ass loki , destroying new york with his alien ass army was 16 earth years old " . " yeah i mean time was something that many asgardians had to get use to being here" she shrugged. " i like it better when you where the thousand year old princess" bucky teased. " so you didn't feel like a creep my little pinning buck" sam whispered she heard it yet kept walking pretending to be oblivious to sam's constant teasing . " no but seriously loki was sixteen" sam asked making her roll her eyes . which led to her spending the rest of the time trying to explain the time differences and space and time which was probably a waste of her time as he began asking to convert their fellow avengers ages to asgardian . which then she used to tease him then turning it around. " so would it make you feel better after losing to parker" she smirked watching his face fall. " we didn't lose" bucky spoke up . " yeah redwing came in" sam added. " so redwing did, what you couldn't" she smiled. " no no now don't spin this" sam huffed. " well i mean you're so concerned with ages" she smiled. " here's me thinking you were sweet and soft like thor but your like loki" sam chuckled . " i mean me and loki did get to chat a lot , great teacher glad he left something behind " she smiled softly as sam realised his words . " shit i didn't , sorry really y/n" he began rambling . " it's ok really lets get going" she walked ahead only for bucky to slap sam at the back of the head. " bird brain, and stop with the remarks she finds out i love her well i'm screwed i love my best girl " he hissed.

Even after all this time it was so hard , so stressful and completely heartbreaking to even think of her brother . loki and thor was all she had after her parents life had perished and granted she still have thor but through everything knowing once and for all that loki was truly gone , well sometimes it can take longer for a heart to heal after so much loss especially when your not fully over the others before it. The rest of the trip it was like she was somewhere else from the taunts of zemo to the fake disguise of the winter soldier it seemed as though the whole thing was getting worse bringing back scars for them all to the surface. All mentally dealing with something that was bigger then themselves . all dealing with pressures or ghost of their own past . he could see in her eyes thinking of all they lost , close friends and family behind the eyes he could stare into all day . she been around through it all , from when steve found him the first and second time . the day he pulled him from the river when she promised to take care of steve , through the battle of the airport, on the run while he was in wakanda she stayed learning how they did it and being the friend he needed. To the war how she held them all up loss after loss , she lived through the blip trying to find a way to get them back , a way to stop the mad tyrant and he wonder in that time was he on her mind like she would of been on his if the role were reversed. She would give her all for those she loved and still felt like she needed to give more it was another reason to add to that ever growing list of why he loved her .

Then now here they were louisiana celebrating the new captain america , the right choice , the one he couldn't agreed more not that he would admit that out loud . although he wish sam would shut up about y/n odinsdottir . he didn't want to scare her off being his friend , the whole time when everything was wrapped up in a bow it's all the new cap could bring up . he watched her laugh and play with the children , how even thought the sun was shining her smile was even brighter . " you know instead of still doing the whole mean steamy stare you could actually do something about it" sam nudged him playfully as sarah looked to the two. " oh if you don't i will" she winked . then the laugh got louder as he watched her walking towards him eyes locked on his and that damn smile that made him melt like a puddle. Her hand coming to his face , cupping his cheeks before her lips on his . " you know i can hear you both no matter how much you whisper" she winked turning to walk off only to feel his hand to wrap in her pulling her flush to his chest . " and you left it til now cruel doll" he smirked leaning forward . " hey girl can only wait so long plus again it's not like i didn't give you chances all these years " batting her lashes leaning up to kiss him once more only for clash of thunder shot through the sky making them jump apart. " he got the girl , my man buck nasty got the girl" sam cheered . " he always had the girl" she kissed him once . the one he wanted to see the most was truly and finally his ,his peace and his girl.

#buckybarnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson #marvel fanfiction #marvel #mcu #reader #bucky x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan characters #seb #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #james barnes #winter soldier #john walker

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dalekofchaos · 9 months ago

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Friendly reminder. Bruce Wayne hung up the suit and retired after THREATENING someone with a gun and this was his reaction.

And then his immediate reaction is to shut down and close the Batcave and his only words were. "Never again"

A truly tragic, but fitting way for Bruce’s career to end. Powerful stuff. Batman's career ended the same way it began: with a desperate man wielding a gun

Batman choosing not to be weak like Joe Chill >>>> Batman going on a killing spree because fighting crime is hard.

And by the way, since Zack Snyder says his inspiration was Dark Knight Returns, I got news for you, TDKR Batman doesn't kill either.

Zack Snyder is a complete blithering fucking idiot.

his statement on Batman just lines up with what I’ve seen from all of his work. He likes the idea of the comics he makes movies out of but he doesn’t actually understand their themes. A Batman that kills is pointless. An edgy Superman is not only the most boring way to write him, but doesn’t make any sense without the wholesome one. That’s why injustice Superman/brightburn/Plutonian/omniman/homelander kind of make sense in their own ways because the original exists to compare them to.(mostly also boring though) His take on watchmen was pretty much devoid of any of the actual commentary from the graphic novel, but instead was just a dark justice league that were pretty bad at their jobs. Rorschach was just framed as a kind of unhinged Batman, but still a badass that does good, which is wildly generous compared to the way he’s originally written. I can understand turning your brain off and coasting through an action movie, but his fans are delusional if they think he does any of these stories justice. I wouldn’t take any of his comments seriously if they would stop letting him make these mediocre movies.

Zack Snyder is all flash and no substance. His films are visually stunning but utterly lacking in compelling storytelling.

The point of Batman is he cannot 'stoop to their level'. He HAS to be better, he HAS to believe these criminals can be rehabilitated, because if he kills them, he becomes just like them. With his wit, his intellect, he could future proof the city against crime ever happening by just killing the criminals before they commit crimes based on probable statistics and similar themes. But a Batman who refuses to kill is a murderer by inaction. Every time he chooses not to put Joker in the ground, he's allowed him to slaughter dozens, hundreds more, just for a laugh. Batman is equally guilty for every one of those deaths, because he could simply kill the Joker, and stop him from ever killing again. But he doesn't. Snyder saying Batman can kill, Batman SHOULD kill, is to say that without batman doing so, or being able to, he is just as bad as the villians. Except dipshit doesn't even have his Batman kill The Joker. "Oopsie daisy, Joker got out and bombed a hospital full of people, sowwwwyyyy, I put him back in jail again dunt worry TeeHeee :3". And then next week we do it all over again. OR. You kill the Joker, and he never hurts another person again. Which is why Jason Todd works so well as a counter to batman, and SHOULD be what Snyder is looking into. The reason why Zod works so well as a villain is because Humans are flawed apes who cant be trusted to govern themselves and should be conquered, and Superman, a literal God, could fix all that, but doesn't, because of Hope. Its foolish, childish even, to consider that a solution. And when placed in the vacuum of a comic book it works because you have to suspend disbelief, and forget that Superman let a city full of people die while he punched Zod through skyscrapers.

If you want Batman to kill people, just go and read one of his 1784956th copies that kill people. Go read Midnighter. Go read Punisher. Go read Moon Knight. Go read Peacemaker. Go read Nighthawk. What is stopping you?

I'm sure all those characters have brought about the peace and prosperity and the crime-free society that a "killer Batman" was supposed to. "Punisher would clean Gotham in under a week", right, just like he cleaned Marvel's New York, didn't he?

It has to be Batman specifically the one doing the killing? The number of superheroes that kill is nowadays much higher than the number of heroes who don't. Remember how Hawkeye spent the better part of his existence being the most anti-killing Avenger? Nowadays he is known as a super-assassin that "never had a non-kill rule". Should heroes who don't kill go extinct?

I like that Batman doesn't kill people. I feel no need to turn him into something he isn't like it was done to Hawkeye. If I wanted a Batman that kills, I would go and read one of the thousand "Batman who kills" out there.

Batman should not kill and should never kill.

"Gotham would be better off if Batman just killed The Joker"

You. Miss. The. Entire. Point.

Bruce Wayne lost his parents to crime and Bruce Wayne is a child who died alongside his parents and was reborn as a creature dedicated to insuring it never happened to any other child. He made a vow never to reduce himself to the criminal scum’s level or to Joe Chill’s level. He never kills for a reason.

Batman not killing is what makes him so compelling, if he kills criminals, there is no moral conflict, he is no better than the Punisher, Wolverine or any other dark edgy hero. Hell, if he starts to take a life, Batman is no better than Ra’s Al Ghul.

In the Daredevil Netflix show, Frank Castle told Daredevil this “That’s not how this works. You cross over to my side of the line, you don’t get to come back from that. Not ever.” That alone is why Batman should not kill, not even The Joker. Bruce Wayne is not Frank Castle, stop trying to make him Frank Castle. I mean…Stan Lee was absolutely disgusted when someone called The Punisher a hero, Frank Castle is a murderer, not a hero. How is this so hard for people to understand?

I don’t want to hear that Batman killed in the old comics and I don’t want to hear Elseworld stories. It’s an established fact that Batman does not kill and it’s a big part of his character.

Guess what? We already got a Bruce who killed The Joker, it happened in the Burtonverse/Schumacherverse and he was disgusted with himself. “So, you're willing to take a life.” “Long as it's Two-Face.” “Then it will happen this way: You make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.”

A huge part of Bruce’s character is that he doesn’t kill, no matter what. Same with Clark. But edgelord writers from the New 52, DCEU and the Injustice abominations think it’s cool to make heroes kill. Heroes should not kill. You can’t be a hero and a killer. IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY!

Guess what would happen if Batman kills The Joker? The Joker wins. The Joker and Batman are each trying to prove a point to society - and really to us, the readers. The Joker wants Batman to kill him because he perfectly embodies chaos and anarchy and wants to prove a point to everyone that people are basically more chaotic than orderly. This is why he is so scary: we are worried he may be right. If the Joker is right, then civilization is a ruse and we are all truly monsters inside. If the Joker can prove that Batman - the most orderly and logical and self-controlled of all of us - is a monster inside, then we are all monsters inside, and that is terrifying. The Joker is terrifying because we fear that we are like him deep down - that he is us. Batman is what we (any average person) could be at our absolute best, and the Joker is what we could be at our absolute worst. The Joker’s claim is that we are all terrible deep down, and it is only the law and our misplaced sense of justice that keeps us in line. Since Batman isn’t confined by the law, he is a perfect test case to try to get him to "break.” The Joker wants Batman to kill a person, any person, but knows that the only person Batman might ever even remotely consider killing would have to be a terrible monster, so is willing to do this himself and sacrifice himself to prove this macabre point. Batman needs to prove that it is not just laws that keep us in line, but basic human decency and our natural instinct NOT to kill. If Batman can prove this, then others will be inspired by his example (the citizens of Gotham, but again, also the readers), just as we are all inspired every day to keep civilization running smoothly and not descend into violence, anarchy, and chaos. This ability to be decent in the face of the horrors and temptations present all around us is humanity’s superpower, the superpower of each of us. The struggle of Batman and the Joker is the internal struggle of each of us. But we are inspired by Batman’s example, not the Joker’s, because Batman always wins the argument, because he has not killed the Joker.

Batman not killing matters. Batman stories to me are the ultimate tale of turning pain and suffering into something positive. That is a story that everyone can relate to because let's be honest here. The world can suck. I've experienced and probably will always experience feelings of fear of depression of anger of angst. It's in my nature as a human being to experience those things. It's in all our nature it is what we choose to do with that pain that we all feel that defines us. Batman chose to turn all those negative emotions, he feels into a symbol that can bring people. Hope that Batman will save us from pain but more importantly hope that we can all be Batman. Why do we fall? And Batman Begins explains this best “Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

Yes, Bruce Wayne is a flawed crazy person. He is at times mean stubborn and even abusive but he is still good. He is still someone we can aspire to be. We can try our hardest to be Superman but no human being can fly, but we can still try to be Batman We can all try to turn our pain into something good when I see Batman killing people or fans saying he killed before and he should kill The Joker, It pains me. It actually hurts my soul. Batman is not about finding a way to kill evil. But try to redeem it. His mission is an impossible task. Maybe he should kill people. Maybe he should kill The Joker, but what makes him fascinating what makes him a hero Is the fact that he has that moral code and stopped himself from crossing that line That's why I always looked up to Batman even as a kid despite all the adult subtext or mature themes superheroes are for kids. And killing is not Batman and it is not Bruce Wayne. This is why I hated the portrayal in the DCEU and the Burtonverse and why I really hated the implication that Batman killed The Joker in Batwoman. A Batman who kills is certainly not Bruce Wayne, that is an interpretation of Bruce Wayne that completely misses the point of Batman. It's easy to kill. Batman does not make the easy choice… Batman does not kill.

#DC #Batman #Batman Beyond #Bruce Wayne #Anti Zack Snyder #Anti DCEU

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miimo96 · 6 months ago

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Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 episode 2

It's so weird seeing Amanda Waller act like this, normal because I'm so used to her behavior of being completely bats#it crazy, putting bombs in people's head, and basically sacrificing other people's well being for the "Greater Good" So seeing her wake up and go through this Normal everyday routine, is just really Jarring to me

Bruh I love this Show, she really came up with a whole ass plan that involved so many Complications and money, just for Clark to be like "Orrrr We could this" 😂

Bruh She LOVES jumping of things and putting herself in danger, I don't know about you, but to me that is Crazy, and I Love it ^^

*chuckles nervously *Why the Hell does this Feel like foreshadowing, like she's gonna fall off of something and we WON'T able to catch her at 1st 😅😅

Yay we finally see him learn that he can't use his X-ray vision with things, when they're Reinforced with Lead ^^

Hey Johnny blaze called, he wants his gimmick back; But In all seriousness it's really Awesome to see Atomic Skull appear in this series, I haven't seen him since Justice league, and tbh I completely forgot he existed until I saw this episode, nice to see that they're Still using Obscure characters for the Villains, before moving on to the Big leagues

Based on what I see it looks like Task force X is experimenting on other people, in Hope's of creating something to Destroy Superman, and based on all these people having Spikes sticking out, I assume this may be an attempt at Doomsday, and if that's the case, OH MY GOD!!!

The Fight scenes have gotten A LOT Better within this show, before it didn't really feel like you were seeing a fight take place, but rather just hearing it instead, it's pretty hard to explain but the fights in the last season felt a bit anticlimactic and pretty weak, like you didn't FEEL the force of impact with each hit or the pressure of the Battle like you were really in the scene, Now it DOES Feel like that and I'm really glad it does so, Mainly because most stuff I've watched with fight scenes recently, felt a bit weak, and didn't make me feel immersed in the Action, FINALLY someone realized this and completely Fixed it, Kudos to however that was 👍

Is it me or is General lane going to Soon find out who Clark really is, Resulting in so much Drama coming between the 2 and Lois, Clark can't keep up this charade forever, and lois is gonna have to tell the the truth at some point, or maybe General lane is just as Smart as his daughter and is gonna figure it out pretty easily, either way can't wait ^^

Well well well if it isn't Lex Luthor, he's finally here, and judging by how the episode ended, it looks like he's going to slowly be Amanda Waller's Next right hand, replacing Slade and maybe even finally gonna be turning into the Lex we all love, Judging by how this lex acts it reminds me a bit of Jessie eisenberg's impression in Batman V Superman, only done a little bit better here, instead of making jokes and shoving Jolly ranchers into other people's mouth, he actually feels like an evil genius and has a reason to Hate Superman, as no one that Powerful should exist, setting up jealousy towards superman and maybe even soon losing his hair, and if he doesn't lose the hair, I'm Totally alright with it, due to how Good his character already is

#anime #kawaii #90s anime #2000s anime #my adventures with superman #clark kent #lois lane #superman #dc comics #dc universe #jimmy olsen #amanda waller #lex luthor #atomic skull #my adventures with superman spoilers #maws #maws season 2 #adult swim #miimo96

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corinthianism · 6 months ago

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DON'T THEY KNOW? (IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD) || BENEDICT BRIDGERTON (1)

pairing: benedict bridgerton/fem!reader additional tags: zombie apocalypse au, graphic depictions of gore/violence, fluff, angst, biology stuff i just made up so it's probs super inaccurate lol, slow burn, friends to lovers summary: ravaged by a relentless virus, the world as you knew it falls into ruin. survivors are hardened by the blood on their hands and the horrors in their minds. amidst the end of everything, benedict proves that there is still hope, and perhaps something more, for the two of you. word count: 6.4k

author's note: welcome to the first part of my new zombie au series with our boy benedict! for those who don't know, this is based entirely on the fic "i'll be seeing you" by @eleanor-bradstreet! thanks again to them for letting me vomit up this fic based on their incredible one <333 anyway, this chapter is mostly exposition, so most of the benedict/you romance will really start in the succeeding parts. hopefully, you find this chapter interesting enough to stick around! (+for readers of my dean winchester series, don't worry! chapter 3 will come out soon!)

masterlist | series masterlist | ao3 | next chapter

CHAPTER ONE: HERE, IN THE END

The world had been so loud before.

The droning noise of traffic. Of the intermingling of a thousand phone calls, nestled in between cheeks and shoulders. Of people talking at each other, screaming over each other, fighting to get the final say in even the tiniest little thing. Everything blurred together into one great ocean of sound. You could drown in it, especially in the big cities.

You were right in the middle of it all: a drifter. It took a while but eventually, that ocean of sound became your home. You struggled to recall what it was like before that. That too, was blurry now along with everything else from Before. All you had now were fading fragments of a dream to be someone. Anyone.

That was how you met him, just before the beginning of the end. You still weren’t convinced that Benedict Bridgerton wasn’t some kind of romance novel character come to life; a talented artist from a long line of English nobility, and the first friend you ever made in New York. It was like something out of a crappy Hallmark movie. He laughed at your reaction upon learning that his brother was an actual viscount and that Benedict himself technically should be referred to as “the Honourable Benedict Bridgerton”, but despite all the grandeur that came with his heritage, Benedict was still… Benedict. In time, he became just Ben. He’d paint while you ranted about your borderline dangerous work hours or how your parents were bugging you to settle down. In turn, he shared with you his frustrations as an artist trying to make it in the world, without his family name, and how at the same time he missed his mother’s cooking. Conversations with him were always lovely, like breathing in the air in the middle of a field of flowers after a decade of being locked inside a dark, stuffy room. He was just like you. Just trying to be someone.

But those conversations all seemed so far away now. If you had known then what would become of your life, of those dreams to be someone, maybe you would’ve just let yourself drown in that ocean of sound.

It only took two weeks for the world to fall into ruin. Only fourteen days for everything to go up in flames.

The virus was ruthless. The most efficient killer the likes of which no one had ever seen. A terrifying force of nature seemingly tailored for the extinction of humanity. You were right in the middle of it all. You saw it with your own eyes, a cluster of people beginning to form in Times Square. With New York being New York, you thought nothing of it. You walked away none the wiser.

Until you heard someone scream, a gut-wrenching, visceral scream, followed by a sound you would never forget. A sound you’d have to hear over and over again for the better part of the next ten years, though you didn’t know it yet at the time: teeth ripping flesh from bone and the primal snarls accompanying it that couldn’t have been anything except inhuman. Monstrous, even. It sent ripples into the great big ocean you called home, altering it so permanently just seconds before you even realized what was happening.

Sound, quickly followed by sight.

The people huddled on the outer edges of the crowd ran off in terror, revealing the gruesome remains of what used to be a person. Even that was something you barely registered at first, eyes too focused on the bloody mouths feasting on it and white, foggy eyes. One of those things stopped its chewing, head snapping up suddenly. It sniffed the air for a while, as if sensing your fear even from twenty feet away. Those white eyes were looking at you now. Staring you down. Seconds later, the corpse being eaten started writhing back to life, or a perverted version of it. Its jaw was skewed, perpetually stuck wide open as drool and blood ran down its chin. You weren’t someone then. If your body hadn’t gone into autopilot, legs taking you as far away as they could, you would’ve been one of them. That was the very first day of what would be the longest two weeks of your life. You remembered it well.

There was no time to think or breathe. Even when your chest hurt from overexerting yourself and your lungs screamed for a break, you ran. You ran as fast as you could, crashing into people, some of which were still unaware of the horrors spreading just a block away from them. In the corner of your eyes, you knew that there were others like you, scrambling to go home, to go anywhere but here. Cars stopped in the middle of the road, curiosity killing the cat as drivers left their vehicles to see what was going on, only to be met with the same sight you were: death. In only a few minutes, nearly a third of the people on the streets were running, too.

A little girl cried in her father’s arms, a teddy bear left behind and forgotten on the cement road as they also tried to get away. The realization dawning on the faces of onlookers that they should be doing the same.

You reached your apartment building, not really knowing what you would do next, just that you needed to get away. The hallways were empty. A part of you hoped Ben was far, far away from here. A more selfish part of you hoped otherwise.

Supplies. You needed supplies. Food, clothes, water. Emergency kit, tools, weapons. Weapons. You had no fucking idea what to do with any of this! Just yesterday, you held a steady, if not miserable, office job. Today, you had to survive against whatever-the-hell those things were and perhaps even other people. The weight of that sudden realization twisted your guts in a sickening way, enough to make you almost throw up.

Peeking through your blinds, there were already three or four ambulances rushing to the direction of Times Square.Those things were not here yet and still, you naively hoped that help would come and dispatch of them before it got out of control.

You barely noticed the sweat that began to trickle down your forehead and back, hairs raising out of instinct. Your whole body was going into overdrive, hyper-aware of the fact that you were in danger.

The rapid knocking on your door nearly frightened you to death, until you heard Ben’s desperate calls of your name. Out of breath and scared… much like you. You wondered if he had seen it, too. When you confirmed through the peephole that it was, in fact, him, you dragged him inside your apartment. Your hands were on his face as soon as he was inside, needing to know that he was here, he was with you, he was alive. It seemed he had the same need, icy blue eyes taking you in with such an intensity you’d only ever seen when he was painting. It was easy to feel small under his gaze.

“Are you alright?” he breathed heavily, larger hands covering your own.

You could only nod, the words stuck in your throat, “Did you- did you see-”

“I saw them,” he said, his composure faltering for a split second. “I saw them.”

You could hear more sirens outside, one after another, disrupting the ocean you had grown so familiar with. Louder and louder.

“We need to leave, get out of New York,” he ran a hand through his hair, eyes moving wildly as he tried to come up with a plan. It was the Bridgerton in him: the bravery of his father, the gentleness of his mother. It didn’t need to be said out loud that the moment he saw those things, all he could think of was you. Getting to you and getting you safe. His only true friend in this city. It took all of fifteen minutes before you were out the door, nearly overwhelmed by the swarm of people all running away from Times Square. Ben held your hand tightly, and you did your best not to look behind you.

The sun was beginning to set, wrapping the city in a bright orange light. It felt ominous somehow, so unlike every other time you’d seen it. Like this was some form of judgment. As if at any moment, you’d hear the seven trumpets telling you that this was the end. You learned later on that you weren’t the only one that thought that. Bile threatened to rise in your throat when the shadows of night grew with each passing second. It felt like it was going to swallow you alive.

The road was packed full of people, crying and yelling and praying for salvation. Ants begging to get away from the magnifying glass only to be burned anyway.

The screams grew louder and against your better judgment, you looked back. You were too far away to see everything clearly, and because Ben was constantly pulling you forward, but you could make out the smaller swarm of walking corpses slowly coming into view. The poor souls who weren’t able to keep up with the main crowd were dragged away to be bitten, spreading the godforsaken disease. More and more bodies littered the streets, staining the concrete with the blood of dozens. Then, not even a minute later, they would rise with jaws gnashing and wide white eyes, their humanity lost forever.

Your legs felt so heavy, as did the rest of you. If it weren’t for Ben’s ferocious determination to get out of the city and to keep the both of you safe, you wouldn’t have survived that first day at all. Helicopters flew above and across the city, the whooshing of its blades mingling with the screams. The ocean of sound was threatening to drown you. You didn’t look up anymore. It would’ve shattered you if you had, because you knew there weren’t nearly enough choppers to save everyone in the city. It was impossible. Your heart broke for all the people, all the someones, who were dead long before they could even fight for the chance to live.

The sky was dark now.

By some miracle, you reached the army’s barricade. Soldiers ushered people to safety, including you and Ben. You squeezed his hand, causing him to look at you for a moment. A temporary reprieve from that day’s horrors. His fair skin was shiny with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead like black tendrils. It was like everything slowed down, but maybe it was all just in your head. His chest rose and fell, rose and fell, rose and fell. The moment was cut short when you heard an explosion from behind you. Your head snapped to the direction of the noise, so did Ben’s, and the “small swarm” of the undead from before had multiplied to thrice its size in the short few minutes you spent running away.

Gunfire rang in your ears once the monsters got a little too close for the army’s liking, but the crowds of the living and the undead had already begun to mix by that point. Bullets meant to pierce rotting flesh ended up killing people who were very much alive and uninfected. You could only watch, from behind the barricade of soldiers, the people in the perpetually moving crowd who would stop once they realized their loved ones were no longer beside them. You could only watch when the body of a child (belonging to the same little girl you saw earlier that day, you realized grimly) was forcefully torn from the arms of her father when a soldier spotted the bite mark on her leg, bleeding and angry. Her plump, tear-stained cheeks that were once symbols of her youth and innocence were ruined by a sickly green that rose to the surface, emphasizing violet veins that always looked like it was crawling, spreading just underneath the skin. Then, she was one of them. Writhing, bones cracking. There was no recognition in her cloudy eyes when her father begged for his baby girl to come back to him.

Ben held you tighter, his hand cradling your head as the other soldiers evacuated as many people as they could.

“We need to go,” he pleaded, still firmly holding on to you as you were both pushed around by the crowd. “Please, love, just look at me.”

So you did. Those eyes, brilliant and blue and full of worry, were the only things that pulled you back down to Earth. Tears were shed and prayers were whispered on the chopper that whisked you away from New York. A couple hundred feet into the air, you could see the city crumble. You remembered briefly wondering how many bodies were left behind or how many turned into one of those things.

Everything changed in those first fourteen days of the Outbreak. Eighty percent of the world’s population had been wiped out, unprepared to face a force so vicious. That was how effective the virus was, which was later dubbed the “Gaia Virus”. Mother Nature’s wrath.

The survivors in the States were brought to “safe zones” all over the country, areas barren and isolated enough that the Infected, which mostly stayed in the previously overpopulated cities and towns, were unlikely to get to them. The first few months after the Outbreak were spent being transferred to different safe zones, never staying for more than a week at a time.

At first, the safe zones were supposed to be a temporary refuge for survivors. The government, or what was left of it, promised to reclaim the cities within a year and make them habitable again. Then a year passed, and they said it would take them another year. So another year passed and they said the same thing. Over and over until… radio silence. No one brought it up again. The few who did were not treated kindly by the rest of the survivors.

Most people caught onto the memo fairly quickly, with soldiers and generals making up the new leadership hierarchy of the safe zones in place of politicians and peacemakers: you keep your head down, you do as you’re told, and you’ll get food and water and blankets.

The people brave (or stupid) enough to make a scene were never heard from again by the next week.

So there you were, moving across the country, going from state to state and living off of food rations and hope. Both were two resources that were steadily depleting. Benedict was there with you through it all, your steadfast companion. Conversations about surrealism and horrible bosses turned into questions about whether or not your friends and families were safe, if they had made it to the safe zones. That was the first time you saw him cry, not able to withstand the possibility that his beloved mother and siblings were gone, perhaps now part of the Infected. Even if they survived, he knew there was a slim chance he would ever see them again. He cursed himself sometimes, him and his foolish need to be someone. If he had stayed in Kent, if he just settled down like his brothers, perhaps he would still be with them today. But his mother was the kindest woman he had ever known and he knew deep down that she forgave him long before he realized what he’d done. He knew they all did.

Grief was your (and Ben’s) constant state of being. It weighed you down on most days, making your feet dig deeper into the dirt when you walked. On some days, it was all-consuming. It was the only reason most survivors rarely caused any trouble. As horrible as humans could be to each other, this shared grief that echoed through the hearts of everyone was translated into little acts of kindness that, at the best of times, were life-saving. To be given a drop of water by a woman dying of thirst. To be offered a piece of bread by a man whose stomach rumbled louder than his voice. More often than not, it was always the eldest survivors that did this. Perhaps it was because they knew that they had already lived long, fulfilling lives. Perhaps it was because they knew Death was already at their door, so they might as well help someone else live.

Of course, there would always be people looking out for themselves, you and Ben had expected that from the get go, but it still surprised you how much compassion a person could still have at the end of the world. It didn’t happen too often though, but the times that it did were memories you held close to your heart.

The days went by, often cruel and unforgiving to those who couldn’t adjust to the new reality, but Ben still found ways to make you smile.

“It’s the artist in me,” he said to you one night, three years after the Outbreak, when you had asked him how he could bear to still be so… him. There was a secluded spot you two often escaped to whenever there was a need for it, a small cliff at the edge of the safe zone. You were both slightly tipsy from whiskey you traded some radio parts for. “The whole world’s gone to shit and I can’t help but still find it somewhat beautiful. It’s like a movie, isn’t it? Two friends at the end of the world— and besides, what else are we supposed to do? Wallow in self-pity? I think you and I do enough of that.”

The sun was beginning to set, something you had grown to dislike since that first day. You decided to lie down for a moment, uncaring if bits of soil got in your hair. You closed your eyes, trying to just be. You didn’t always get the opportunity to do that anymore.

“Look,” he nudged your side after a while, his accent slurring a little as he pointed at something. You raised a brow at him, now-open eyes following what his finger was pointing at. The sky. It was pitch black, but a splash of stars covered the heavens like a mural. You had never seen that many stars before, certainly not in the cities you’d lived in your whole life. Ben sighed and your attention was back on him. “You couldn’t see them as clearly back home, but I used to stargaze often with my siblings.”

“That sounds lovely,” you whispered.

“It was.”

The two of you were silent for a while, just sitting on that patch of dirt, overlooking the vast lands that spread as far as the eye can see. That was how isolated these safe zones were. The gentle night breeze tickled your skin.

“I haven’t really looked at the sky properly since the Outbreak,” you confessed, slumping in your seat. “I think it makes me feel small. And sad. Look at us. Our tiny little planet, how fucked up everything is. Look at us. And there’s a whole universe out there that’s completely indifferent to everything that goes on down here.”

“It’s humbling,” he hummed in understanding. “To be a speck in a great big universe yet feeling a whole universe worth of emotion.”

“That’s good,” you chuckled. “Very poetic.”

He grinned at you, cheeks flushed slightly, “I try.”

Another bout of silence.

“Thank you, by the way.”

“Whatever for, love?” he raised a brow in curiosity, his tone soft. It always was.

“For being here,” you took a deep breath. “For sticking around.”

His smile shone brighter when he heard this, his hand finding its way around yours. “You’d be mad to think I’d ever leave you here. If anything, you’re stuck with me. I’m just—” he cleared his throat. “I’m just sorry that… that it has to be like this. Drifting, never staying too long in one place to be able to call it a home. You deserve more. You deserve better.”

“You say that like it’s your fault,” your hand squeezed his in hopes of bringing him some comfort. “I’m not gonna lie and say we’re doing alright because we honestly look like shit”—that earned you a hearty chuckle from him—”but we’re doing better than most. And that’s because we’ve had each other all this time. That’s one of the things I was thanking you for. None of this on you, Ben. You deserve more, too. You hear me?”

He straightened his back and flashed you a soft smile, “I hear you.”

The two of you looked back up at the sky, admiring the twinkling of millions of stars. You were somewhere in Arizona, according to the other survivors. Soldiers kept the exact location under lock and key to dissuade survivors from sharing it with others who were still out in the open world. There just wasn’t enough room. But you had a feeling that it had more to do with the risk of attracting Infected. Limited armada and manpower meant the military was just unable to handle that kind of scenario.

You learned more about the Infected over time, having worked odd jobs for the military for more food, water, or supplies. Even something as simple as filtration duty on Tuesdays earned you tidbits of information.

From what you could piece together in the past couple of years, the Gaia Virus most likely came from melting glaciers and ice caps, triggered by global warming. It polluted bodies of water across the world, eventually making its way into reservoirs undetected. It was the perfect way to spread. Nobody can last more than three days without water, so the virus made sure no one would last at all. Once fully turned, Infected were nearly perfect killers. Soldiers sometimes told stories of their encounters with them. They were completely blind, though that much was obvious from the milkiness of their eyes. Infected also didn’t react to any physical damage done to them. Whether or not they felt it was a different story. With possibly two of their senses out of the picture, the rest were heightened. They could hear and smell better than people. If prey were close enough, all those things had to do was follow the scent trail. The fact that these monsters could perceive things humans could barely register was a terrifying thought.

Bodies of Infected retrieved from the destroyed cities were studied, Ben himself had seen this on one such odd job. The virus kills its host before taking over the body, this much was known. However, the brain was shown to endure, preventing the more advanced stages of decomposition. It raised questions about whether or not hosts really died, or if a tiny part of them still lived on even as they transformed into flesh-eating beasts. You’ve heard whispers that it was more like the brain sent constant streams of adrenaline even after death, keeping the body going long after it was supposed to fall apart and rot. True or not, it was the only explanation you had.

You’d seen your fair share of people who’ve fallen victim to a bite; doomed to have their life snuffed out as soon as that was discovered, whether that was by execution or dying to the virus.

The time it took to die after being bitten was different for everyone. Some died within minutes, others within hours. The longest one you’d seen was a soldier brought back to the Detroit safe zone after a patrol gone wrong. A stray Infected had sensed him and attacked him during the night, leaving a massive bite on his shoulder. He fought so fiercely against the symptoms of the fever, hovering between life and death for nearly an entire day before finally succumbing to the virus. You couldn’t forget how pale he was when he was wheeled into the makeshift camp on a gurney, watching the life be drained out of him in real time. He was shot in the head by his comrades as soon as he turned. The event shook everyone. The disappearances began shortly after that.

The people who spoke up against the military drew the ire of everyone: the military didn’t tolerate people who questioned their authority and everyone else just wanted to mind their own business. When these undesirables began to disappear, everyone chalked it up to them just being hard-headed. The popular theory was they got sick of the military’s iron grip and decided to leave the safe zone, and then probably died. Nobody took it too seriously. Nobody could have done anything about it anyway. Everyone was just focused on staying alive.

Cooper was another survivor in the Arizona safe zone. You and Ben had been there for a month, and he was the first and only person to welcome you with open arms. He was a lanky man, and had blond hair and kind, brown eyes. Only a few years younger than you. He was the jovial type, often inviting you and Ben to tag along with him on whatever job he found earlier that day. His Boston accent was unmistakable, often getting stronger when offered liquor.

He was also in strong opposition to the militant lifestyle in the safe zones, though he knew better than to broadcast his distaste. Cooper joined you and Ben on the night the two of you were stargazing, eyes wide in terror. You had never seen him like that before. He was always one to stay optimistic, which was a wonder considering the state of the world. Cooper looked like he ran to get to you, his damp tattered shirt sticking to his body.

He grabbed you by your shoulders, fingertips digging into your skin deep enough to make you wince all while a jumble of words were frantically spewing out of his mouth. Ben immediately got up, nearly growling at Cooper for hurting you, “Get your hands off them.”

It seemed as though Ben’s warning briefly snapped Cooper back to reality, because the man did pull away but his hands still trembled violently.

“What’s wrong?” you furrowed your brows in worry, unused to seeing Cooper in such a state.

“You need to get out of here,” it felt like there was something darker lingering behind his words. He looked at Ben. “You need to go.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Ben cut him off, his protectiveness from before calming down when he finally noticed the genuine panic and fear in Cooper’s eyes. “Tell us what’s happening.”

The poor man looked like he was ready to explode right then and there. He was practically soaked in his own sweat, both from the exhaustion of running to get to you and Ben, and the shock of the news he brought, it seemed.

“They were taking them,” he choked back tears, his feet stuck to the ground. His nostrils were flaring from how hard he was breathing.

“Who, Coop? Who’s taking who?” this time it was your hands on his shoulders, though your touch was gentle, trying to keep him grounded.

“The soldiers,” he whispered, his voice grim. “We- we thought they were executing them for questioning the army but I saw them! I saw them. In the big tent. They’re trying… they’re trying to make a vaccine.”

The severity of his tone reminded you all too much of Ben at your doorstep on that very first day of the Outbreak.

Ben’s surprise was palpable, “What?”

“A vaccine,” Cooper stressed, each breath he drew was ragged (you could hear it from how close he was standing to you), “but it’s not working. I saw the bodies. Whatever they’re doing, it’s torture— you should’ve seen them. They infected them on purpose.”

Your blood went cold, like liquid nitrogen shocking your system. That’s what the army had been doing all this time? It made perfect sense, but the new information flooded your brain with images of those people who went missing, strapped to a table, and being injected with the virus. If they were trying to make a vaccine, they—the test subjects—would have to have been kept alive for as long as possible, conscious of the parasite invading their body. It made your stomach churn, forcing you to step back and look away. Ben was similarly devastated, jaw clenched as he stared at Cooper. He zeroed in on a different piece of information.

There were Infected in the safe zone.

“That’s… they can’t just keep taking people,” he gritted his teeth. Cooper stayed silent. Ben spoke again, firmer and more desperate this time, “...can they?”

“Nobody’s gonna come looking for you even if they did,” Cooper said, defeated. Still breathing hard. “We’re too far away. And if the rest of the safe zones aren’t already in the same situation then they aren’t gonna waste gas to go all the way here. The soldiers here can just make up something and no one would know.”

An “oh, God” left your lips, your hands shaking, mirroring Cooper’s. From where you stood, you could see the main camp and the largest tent, the main military tent, in the middle of it. You’ve walked past it, stared at it a hundred times, and never knew what was going on inside. You found yourself asking if there was a time when you stared at that tent, and just on the other side was someone just like you being experimented on with the deadliest virus known to mankind.Your eyes stung with tears when your treacherous mind thought of Ben in that position, bruised by different needles and tubes protruding from him.

“Please, you need to go,” Cooper pleaded with the two of you desperately, his head hanging low.

“Shit,” Ben cursed under his breath, rubbing his eyes with one hand in frustration. “All of our supplies are back in the main camp.”

“You can’t go back!”

“We’ll die out there if we don’t get those supplies,” you pointed out to the blond. “We wouldn’t last a week.”

Ben had already begun to walk back to camp, masking his anxieties to the best of his abilities if what Cooper was saying was true. You weren’t that far behind, ears ringing with Cooper’s pleas not to go back. He didn’t chase after you anymore, falling silent once he realized there was nothing he could do to change your mind. It was only a short trek from the cliff back to the main camp. The outer perimeter of the safe zone was always being patrolled by soldiers which meant, without any weapons, you would’ve been dead if you tried to escape right away. A checkpoint came into view along with the two guards, Paul and Walter, holding rifles on either side of the path. You were familiar with each other from how often you passed through this checkpoint to get to the cliff.

“Paul, Walter,” Ben smiled coolly at the guards once you were finally standing in front of them. “Late shift? I thought you’d have switched with Reese by now.”

“Higher-ups needed more men in other places, so here we are,” Paul sighed, before turning his attention to you. “You guys back at the cliff again?”

“Yeah,” you mimicked Ben, feigning a smile of your own. You still weren’t completely sure if Cooper had been telling the truth, but interacting with Paul felt different now that you knew what could’ve been happening behind closed doors. “Camp can be a little too much sometimes, y’know? No offense. Just… needed to get away for a while.”

Paul nodded in understanding.

“Okay, you know the routine,” Walter shrugged, handing you and Ben a bloodchecker each. It was a small vial full of a blue solution, connected to a thin, replaceable tube ending with a needle. The solution would turn clear if mixed with Gaia-infected blood, and a dark muddy brown if the blood was clean. You pierced your arm with the needle, watching your blood travel through the tube and drip down into the solution, turning it brown as you had expected. Glancing over at Ben’s bloodchecker, you found that his was the same. Thankfully.

You were about to pass through the checkpoint when Walter pulled Ben aside, muttering something you couldn’t quite make out, but you saw Ben’s reaction. To anyone else, it would have seemed like he didn’t react at all. Most people only would’ve noticed his polite smile and hushed ‘thank you” to the guard before returning to your side, but you saw through it: the slightest twitch of his hand and the way his lips tightened at what Walter told him. It was so clear to you that he was bothered by it, whatever it was.

“What was that?” you asked him, trying to keep up with his fast-paced stride.

He only spared you a single glance, only a single moment of softness, but now you were inside the central safe zone. Soldiers were standing guard in every direction. There seemed to be more of them than usual. Ben continued forward to the direction of your tent which was a bit farther from everyone else’s. He kept his voice low, “Not here.”

Your shared tent with Ben was bare. The apocalypse didn’t exactly grant you a life of luxury, but that tent was yours. It stayed the same after every new safe zone you were transferred to. Next to the two worn down single mattresses were your backpacks, one of the only things you still had from before the Outbreak besides each other. While you double-checked your supplies, making sure nothing was missing while you were gone, Ben slid one of the mattresses to the side, which was sitting on top of an old rug. He pulled that aside too, his hands digging into the soil, digging and digging until finally, you could see the lid of a crate you had buried.

The crate was filled with jugs of water. Clean, pure, uninfected water. The result of three years of patiently collecting rainwater and saving up whatever the army gave you, carefully filtering each drop throughout the night when you knew no one else would be bothering you. This water was precious. It was gold. And it was a pain to move from safe zone to safe zone. You and Ben had had to resort to bribing and lying for the past three years to make sure it was safe.

Once you were done checking over the supplies, you knelt by Ben’s side. “So… are you gonna tell me what Walter said to you or are you gonna keep being mysterious?” you tried to keep your tone light.

“They were looking for Cooper,” his gaze didn’t leave the jugs of water. His hands, once always covered in paint, were now caked in dirt. “Said we should report him if we did.”

“What?” you questioned. “That doesn’t make any sense, everyone has to go in and out of that checkpoint to get to the cliff. There’s no way Paul and Walter didn’t see him.”

“So how could he have seen all of those supposed experiments in the main tent?” he turned to face you, his expression severe. “That tent is the most heavily guarded thing in this camp. If what he said is true, then there was no way he could’ve left and not be spotted and then somehow manage to get to us without going through the checkpoint.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while, racking your brains for any sort of information that could help you get closer to solving this mystery. It was entirely plausible that Cooper had been lying about the experimentations and the vaccines but despite having only known him for a short while, you knew he wasn’t the type to do something like that. He wouldn’t lie about something like that. Hell, he was the kind of person that worked overtime during the apocalypse. He was an honest man.

Then you remembered something.

“It’s Tuesday today.”

Ben looked at you, puzzled, “Yes, it is… What’s going through your head, love?”

“Filtration duty,” you answered. “They filter out the water in the main tent…”

“...then dump the waste outside of camp,” Ben finished for you, eyes widening. “You think Cooper was in the main tent on purpose?”

“I mean, that’s the only explanation, right? Nothing else has left camp since last week and nobody checks a truck carrying waste. Maybe Cooper was on one of those trucks,” you said before looking back at Ben. “I… I thought I was just seeing things. Did you notice how he was earlier?”

“Out of breath from running…?” Ben frowned, not quite following your train of thought as easily as he usually did.

“He wasn’t just out of breath. He was smelling me.”

You could practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he put the pieces together. He couldn’t quite believe the conclusion he arrived at, that much you could tell, but the disbelief washed away when no other possible explanation presented itself to him.

“How?” his voice was shaky, a quiet sort of devastation clouding his features. Cooper was likely already infected earlier, though you couldn’t tell which stage of infection he was at. The signs pointed to a peculiar middleground between the fever that occurred right before death, and the grotesque reanimation once the virus had complete control over the body.

“Maybe he was telling the truth. Part of it, at least.”

You both looked back at the jugs of water, taking out a few of the smaller containers before hurriedly placing the lid back on the crate. With the crate concealed by the soil and rug, you and Ben made quick work of gathering your things, hiding the small jugs of water underneath clothes, foods, and whatever else were in your bags.

You always made sure to have a plan in case you ever needed to leave a safe zone. The water you collected was too valuable; you had to be able to move it whenever and wherever you needed, but with all the soldiers standing guard outside, you knew this would be impossible even with all of your planning. You just had to bring what you could.

Without uttering a word, you and Ben both knew this was the last night you were ever going to spend in this place.

series taglist: comment down below if you'd like to be added!

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x reader #reader insert #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton au #luke thompson

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pruneunfair · 2 months ago

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Hi okay- I’m a huge remarried empress fan, but I enjoy it seperate from tne fandom. That being said- you have so many great points.

1) I do believe the story may have changed, because this is supposed to be based off a web novel. Like an actual novel. Often times they will deviate from the novel to change the story. Take Who Made Me a Princess. The artist at the end of it did say they changed the story ending for it. So it’s very plausible.

2. SOUVESHU (look I’m a fan but I can never remember how to spell) DEFINETLY GROOMED RASHTA!! Though I don’t agree with her actions, I have 100% acknowledged and know she is deeply traumatized. And he most likely took advantage of that. He saw her as young and pure, something Navier was not. And he wanted to preserve that. Rashta is clearly traumatized, and her mental health is not healthy. It is easy to take advantage and manipulate sadly because she does not know the warnings. He groomed her and when she was finally trying to be more like someone she thought he wanted, Navier, he lashed out. No one gets she is constantly comparing herself!! She does not know how to love herself!! And that is the most damage. I wish they would pick up on that. I love Navier but she can be so oblivious to that due to her anger and betrayal at Soveshu. I think if Rashta had proper care and been trained,!- did Soveshu could just fucking communicate and not be a groomer, this could all have been avoided. Navier is also at fault for not see this red flag in him??? But she was so angry and maybe jealous and wanting to back stab I think it clouded her judgement. If she slowed down and actually had a conversation- it would be okay.

3) there is so much wasted potential in all the characters!! Is Navier is getting this magical stuff sorted why can’t she just acknowledge it and work for something with it? Use it to her advantage. I wanted to see her stand up to Heinrey for taking her mages. I wanted to see her stand up to Soveshu. I want to see her just fight for herself. But she doesn’t say much. She’s so strategic with everything and it’s like it wasted her potential. Why can’t she just speak out?? It does feel very much like she turned into a Mary Sue. I want to see more of her flaws. Like one we all think is pretty when is a flaw is that she has no want to speak out and is held back and refined! I think they are trying hard to point onto her upbringing and that she’s “higher” than everyone else. When like- yes she’s an empress. But there is so much more then that we should be able to read about!! We need more scenes of her having friends for peat sakes that isn’t gossiping or talking about men and other things. Where did the potential go??

I really wanna see how it ends and hope it turns into a better direction. I also need to read the book too.

TLDR: you make so many good points and I wanted to expand on it as a fan of the series who does acknowledge all these points.

1: I did read the novel out of curiosity since everyone was saying it was better then the manhwa. The manhwa was pretty loyal to the novel and while it was still really iffy with protagonist centered morality I felt it could get away with it more since it was in first person therfore it's possible Navier could be an unreliable narrator. Another difference I noticed is that while the manhwa felt actively malicious against Rashta and making jokes about her trauma when she cries or looks for attention, the novel is more complex about it and it feels more sympathetic then something to laugh at. The whole slavery being ignored and characters getting away with shitty behavior unfortunately still lasted but given how it was more complex with it's characters I think it was an unfortunate result of the author getting a little too carried away with the readers desires to see more fluff. Gotta say I don't hold as much animosity toward the webnovel but it's still not my favorite.

2: I'm really happy to see that I'm not the only one who thinks Rashta got groomed. Even if she's not a child, she's still mentally stunted and grooming can occur at any age since it is the desire to take someone who is easily influenced and molding them into whatever you desire. Honestly though I think it makes sense that Navier wouldn't immediately see any red flags from Sovieshu given that their childhood together was happy and geninune, it's common for victims in abusive relationships to not see who their abuser really is at first which really made Navier escaping even more satisfying.

3: on one hand Navier not being able to speak up makes sense since what is she really gonna do if the Emperor brings in a concubine without breaking royal protocol, on the other hand it is so OOC of her in later seasons when she is described as someone with witty comebacks and is no damsel in distress yet in season 2 and 3 she does absolutely nothing since Heinrey and her other friends do it all for her. They think this makes her really charismatic but that only ever works for villian characters who are mysterious and too classy to do the dirty work, when the protagonist does this over and over it gets boring and you wonder if she's really supposed to be the protagonist at all.

#the remarried empress #webtoon #empress navier #rashta #manhwa #heinrey alles lazlo #sovieshu

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alexanderlightweight · 1 year ago

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You know what I rarely see? In the show after wooing Alec, Magnus is not shown as overly invested and it always appears as Alec reaching/apologizing/moving the pair along. Which was definitely a writing/directing choice. But what I’d like to prompt if it suits you, is Magnus being the one to apologize or to reassure Alec that he is important and not temporary-I’m team immortal but this convo certainly should happen. I liked the way you had Alec be angry in that prompt fill about his birthday and Magnus had to own up to that. If this isn’t your thing no big deal! Hope the weather is nice where you are and nightshade has enough pets and treats for the day!

i believe in 'no partner is perfect' and while i don't tend to write the angstier couple stuff 'i like my malec happy' i don't mind occasionally dipping my toes into partner angst (with an immortal happy ending)

this particular fic isn't about about immortality but it's about haing two people who have fundamentally different lifestyles having a miscommunication that devolves and while the argument is based on the show scene, it doesn't follow it perfectly. nor is the actual argument written. just the aftermath.

my thoughts are that magnus tries to spoil alec in season two still but it's more intimate and offscreen and he sort of in season 3a but magnus relies heavily n his magic to spoil alec and he kind of is spiraling all of season 3 tbh. they just really were sprinkling angst on malec like it was salt and they realized the show was bland.

all they did was get oversalted content which got salty fans, since they forgot to add actual herbs and spices.

it's a bloody hot day okay. i love the sun as much -nevermind apparently this is a lie-

so i don't hate the sun okay. i enjoy sunshine in specific environments. the sun is not a tyrant devoid of compassion.

anyways i live in a desert because its whats best for the people i love but give me mist and foggy days and give me winters of waist deep snow i can fall in. oceans so cold your lips go blue and rivers so deep and clear and still cold with melting ice.

if people are going to send me 8-10 feet to the bottom of the lake because they lost their electronics. it better be cold and clear. not warm and murky. (this has only happened 3 times but i have a preference).

So I made Say breakfast and nightshade breakfast and then I made @saeths breakfast a few hours later so i made an extra egg for nightshade to tempt him to eat another bowl of kibble.

so i fed nightshade twice and forgot to make any eggs for myself ^_^ so he is plenty spoiled (don't worry his egg was made without cheese and salt).

also the reason i'm awake is because he needed snuggles and after that he wanted to play in the pool and then i was too awake to bother

but that's our wednesday so far and i'm getting my work out of the way so i can focus on writing and house things.

<3 lumine

Magnus is ready with another quick retort when Alec’s face goes blank for a moment.

The argument fades from Magnus’ mind in an instant, because while this is the perfect moment to land another barb, the words die and his sentence stops, ending with a snide comment he doesn’t really mean.

“That’s fine Magnus.” Alec says and he’s not angry, which is worse. He sounds tired and yet professional. His manner restrained and placating in the way he does when he no longer has any fight left and he just wants to retreat and lick his wounds.

Wounds that Magnus caused.

“Alexander—” Magnus starts, because he didn’t intend to get so upset but Alexander just shakes his head.

“You’ve said your piece, Magnus. I get it.” Alexander sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he shuffles. “I messed up, again.”

Magnus winces, because he’s begun to feel more like a scolding mentor than a partner.

“I need to get to the Institute—” which makes sense, the argument started as they both got ready for their days. “I’ll—” and Alec hesitates and then shrugs, “I’ll see you tonight.”

—

Magnus waits until it’s dinner time and then portals to the Institute, already preparing words to once again explain that it’s not Alexander, it’s just not time yet.

He opens the door to the office without knocking and steps in.

“Alexander—” Magnus starts and then he hesitates.

Because for once, Alexander’s eyes don’t soften when they meet his. They remain cold, devoid of the warm ardor they normally contain but once again, without anger. Only an empty tiredness that Magnus longs to chase away.

“Do you have an appointment today, Magnus?” Alexander asks, setting down his pen and turning off his tablet with a sigh. Even upset Alexander will still give him his full attention and Magnus steps closer to the desk when Alexander continues, “because I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for a meal, or a conversation if it’s not official. So, if you don’t have an appointment, it needs to wait until I’m off.”

Alexander doesn’t mention coming home like he normally does, and Magnus suddenly misses it, with a deep lonely ache.

It also reminds Magnus that despite how often Alexander drops everything to join him, his boy is being worked to the ground and also driving himself to his limits in his pursuit of building a better Institute. Alexander is struggling to create ties between an Institute and local downworld leaders that would be revolutionary, with a sincerity that is unmatched by anything Magnus has ever seen.

Of course, he’s exhausted, and Magnus feels hollow now, remembering their fight all over again with a new clarity.

“No darling, it’s nothing official. I’ll see you tonight—” Magnus pauses, wanting to offer to summon Alec something to eat or drink, but it feels too much like an emotional bribe with how shuttered his boy is. Alexander nods and gives him the same perfunctory, polite smile he gives his siblings when he’s too exhausted to deal with them and doesn’t know what else to do.

It cuts Magnus to the heart to have that same expression directed at him, when he’s supposed to be safe for Alexander.

Magnus can’t handle the idea of reaching out only to be shied away from, so he runs from the possibility and instead summons a tiny flower to land by Alexander’s pen when the door shuts.

No one in the Institute seems to notice anything is wrong. Magnus gets a few strange looks, but he quickly realizes that it’s because everyone expected Alexander to be leaving with him, like his boy usually does.

Magnus feels cold and it’s with determination that he sends out an emergency message.

—

“I became stagnant in my old, single age.” Magnus bemoans, “I spent so long on my heartbreak that now, with a man I adore over every living being, I keep pushing him away.”

“Truth potion?” Catarina offers but Magnus shakes his head. Alexander deserves Magnus explaining this without the aid of something to help his thoughts form, even if it’s a trick Magnus has used continually and without remorse on himself.

This is different though because Magnus wants to become aware of what is wrong, not rely on a potion to figure it out.

“He wants to move in.” Magnus starts, about to launch into it when Cat laughs, interrupting him.

“What do you mean he wants to, he already has. Or did you just move him in on the sly and forget to ask him if he wanted to?”

“Cat—” Magnus says hesitantly, “he’s never moved in. He’s the one who brought it up. I told him no.”

Catarina pauses and then she sighs, and she summons her favorite, light summer beer and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Start from the beginning, Magnus. I need details.”

Magnus does, realizing things that he missed as he’s explaining so many details that he just assumed and took for granted.

“I did wonder that the Loft hasn’t changed much. It seems more like Alec’s an addition to your things rather than his own person.”

It’s that comment that drives Magnus into a frenzy the moment he’s home.

Magnus doesn’t go overboard; Alexander wouldn’t want him to. Also springing this on his boy after the prior rejection will be too much like whiplash.

So, Magnus starts very small.

He finally creates the foyer he promised himself and Alexander he would make.

Alexander’s never pushed but Magnus remembers the tightening of his shoulders and the way Alexander will be too tired for anything but cuddles — rarely even hungry — after barrages of people through the loft.

The kitchen he only summons when Alexander asks, which is rare, so he makes it a permanent fixture and makes sure to hang an apron with little angel wings up. It’s with a pained smile that he sighs and wonders when he got so old that he forgot to enjoy life, and instead spent all his time focused on the past, just like Ragnor always warned him about.

Magnus doesn’t want to regret any time with Alexander, and he finds that he already does.

Not the time spent with his boy, but the time he could have focused on him more.

Magnus has spent so long protecting himself from losing Alexander, that he hasn’t noticed that he’s pushing him away, stopping him from coming too close.

Except Magnus has also bound him tightly.

Alexander sleeps more often in Magnus’ bed than his own. He’s rerouted his own schedule so he can take the last patrol before shift change, come to Magnus’ loft, write his report there and send it in, and be in bed for Magnus to return to.

Except for work, Alexander spends the majority of his daily life either in the loft, or with Magnus.

There are signs of him, all over the loft, but Magnus can’t look at a single piece and think, “Alexander picked that out.”

It aches in way that is almost visceral, because now that Alexander isn’t here, it’s only more obvious.

Magnus is chest deep in a drawer when he becomes aware of his boy stepping slowly into the bedroom.

“Is this a bad time?” Alexander’s tired voice asks. “I noticed there was a new door and tried to knock but the door just opened.”

Magnus wants to say something except he’s furious with himself and everything and the idea that Alexander saw a new door and knocked instead of walking right in, tears something in him.

They stare at each other for a moment, Magnus with his hands still wrist deep in the dimensional dresser, sure he’ll eventually find more than the sparse offering of Alexander’s clothes that he has.

“Where are all the clothes that you leave here?” Magnus asks instead of answering because he genuinely doesn’t know, “I was cleaning, and I couldn’t find them.”

Alexander sighs and Magnus just knows that he’s gearing himself up to — once again — explain to Magnus that it’s not about the clothes, before his boy visibly gets too tired. Instead, he just shrugs and potions to the paltry pile that Magnus has found.

“You have more than that!” Magnus exclaims, frustrated because he knows Alexander does. “That green shirt I got you that you loved. And those pants, the black ones with the umber stitching. The cream sweater I adore you in! That suit I had tailored for you in Milan and the other one in Hong Kong.”

Alexander sighs and he rubs a hand over his face, the stubble he normally shaves away in Magnus— in their bathroom, shadowing his face.

“Magnus, those don’t exist anymore.” Alexander doesn’t seem upset, if anything his face softens into an almost reluctant fondness, “you tend to vanish all the clothing you get me, some way or another. Mostly before fucking me. I tried to ask you one time where they went and you waved a hand and said, ‘another dimension, nothing to worry about’.”

“Surely that’s not all I said.” Magnus protests weakly.

“Well, you proceeded to fuck me unconscious so no, it wasn’t the last thing you said. But it was the last thing you said abut clothes.”

Magnus gives a flat chuckle and then sighs, snapping his fingers to clean up the mess.

“Have you eaten?”

“I figured I could grab something from the cafeteria when I head back. It’s fine.”

It most certainly is not fine, but Magnus doesn’t think coaxing Alexander into eating is going to work this time, which means that Magnus has accidentally undone weeks of effort.

Magnus doesn’t press, doesn’t remind Alexander that he can here. Or that, if by normal standards Alexander stays until he usually leaves Magnus, it would be the early evening of the next day.

“So, you were cleaning.”

Alexander is looking around, voice faltering but face devoid of actual emotions.

“I realized some things, after this afternoon.” Magnus admits slowly, “you’re the first person I opened my heart to, Alexander. In a very long time, I’ve told you that before.”

Normally, explaining things is easier but all Magnus can think is he’s not explaining it correctly.

“I know. But Magnus, you’re the first person I’ve ever opened my heart to.” Alexander interjects and he sounds raw and broken, like he’s been torn apart. “Doesn’t that get to mean anything too, to you? Because I don’t know what I’m doing, and you told me that there was nothing wrong with that. That I had nothing to feel ashamed about but now, it doesn’t feel like that.

"It feels like I can’t do anything right and I thought, I hoped something was coming together with us but now—” Alexander gives a heavy sigh and shrugs. “Now I don’t even know what I am to you anymore. Where do I belong, in your life Magnus? If you tell me where to fit, I’ll make it work.”

And that breaks Magnus’ heart, because Alexander was never meant to feel like he had to cut off pieces of himself to ensure Magnus loves him, that he has a place in Magnus’ life.

“Oh darling, beloved.” He murmurs and Alexander flinches, like it was a knife to his side. “You belong. The entirety of you. You belong in my bed because it’s no longer just my bed. How can I say it’s my bed when I lay in it without you and can’t sleep? When I reach for you in the night and can’t find you?” Magnus moves across the room with slow, purposeful steps and then reaches out to carefully — only because Alexander allows it — cups his face.

“Alexander, I have no excuses. My heart is old, and it is scarred and it is a wonder that you love me with all the cracks you’ve seen exposed. I don’t fear men or demons or angels, Alexander. I fear my heart being torn from my body and leaving me alive, an empty hollow cavern where it should be in the shape of you.

“I’ve always been too much, Alexander. I put my own fears on you, not that you deserved any of it, sweetheart. You’re right. I am your first relationship, and you grew up and live in a shadowhunter society. The relationships you've witnessed aren't similar to ours at all.

"You trust me to guide our relationship but I’m always encouraging you to ask me for things and you rarely do. I’m sorry, that you finally trusted me enough to ask me for something and that I broke that trust.”

And Alexander breaks, his eyes filling with tears and he coughs, scrubbing over his eyes because he hates being emotional during talks like these. As if Magnus will use the crystal sorrow streaking his face against him.

“I don’t understand.” Alexander murmurs against Magnus’ shoulder, “I thought this was already my home, here with you. I don’t know what I did wrong, I’m sorry Magnus.”

“Oh sayang.” Magnus whispers, eyes stinging because his heart is lanced every time Alexander apologizes. “You did nothing wrong. My heart was too scared to admit that you already were home for us, I pushed you away because I panicked. I’m sorry, my darling.”

Magnus is as tender and sincere as he can be, because he doesn’t want Alexander internalizing anything over this. Especially not when he realized that for Alexander, the loft already was home and he just wanted permission, for it to be official.

It’s endearing and sweet and Magnus presses a kiss to Alexander’s temple, softly and then harder when Alexander pushes into the caress.

"This is already your home. Where ever I am, will be your home." Magnus promises, "that will never change, my love. This is our space, for us to grow together and live together in.

Instead, Alexander tackles him to the bed and just lays there, pinning Magnus to the comforter as he snuggles into Magnus.

"Alexander?"

There is no answer, just a soft, exhausted snuffle and Magnus wonders how upset Alexander's been, thinking he was deprived of the home Magnus gave him.

He uses magic to change their clothing. More conversations and decisions can be made after rest and well, Alexander certainly isn't going anywhere and neither is Magnus.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters #shadowhunters au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

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iamafanofcartoons · 1 year ago

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20 Ways how you know you might like RWBY?

Remember, there is no best show ever. Every show has its ups and downs. We’re just going to explain why RWBY is a show worth watching, that’s it.

1) Do you like ATLA, TOH, SPOP and LoK? -> Chances are, you’ll also like RWBY. Its not the same, and its never meant to try to be the same. But it does carry similar things.

2) Do you like stories with badass women taking on the roles typically held by male protagonist? -> Then you should like RWBY.

3) Do you like stories with found family themes AND positive Step-family relationships? -> Then RWBY should be on your list.

4) Do you enjoy stories with in depth fantasy lore and history? -> Then RWBY would be a fantastic show to watch, because it does have them.

5) Do you like analyzing shows that have lots of significant hidden details, foreshadowing, easter eggs, callbacks, and references? -> Then you’ll quite like RWBY.

6) Do you enjoy watching character development? -> Chances are then that you’ll like RWBY.

7) Do you like slow burn WLW relationships? -> RWBY, because BUMBLEBY KISSED TWICE, BABY!

8) Do you like shows with badass soundtracks made specifically for the show with lyrics that even add foreshadowing and other fun details? -> RWBY has that.

9) Do you enjoy shows that are all about hope and love in the face of despair and hate? -> RWBY!!!

10) Do you like shows where all of the characters are based on fairy tales, myths, legends, historical figures, etc. with wee details added here and there to give clues as to who each person is based on? ->RWBY

11) Do you enjoy shows that are more light hearted and fun but then also still get into serious topics like dealing with loss, alcoholism, PTSD, abuse, neglect, abandonment issues, etc? -> RWBY

12) Do you like badass fight scenes where the animation just keeps getting better and better as the show continues? -> RWBY

13) Do you like Warrior Nun and other similar shows? -> RWBY could very well be enjoyable for you too

14)Do you like long form story telling where details come back from all the way in the beginning of the show? -> RWBY definitely does that. We’re on Volume 9 and they brought up stuff from back in Volume 1 during it.

15) Do you like shows that are even better when you rewatch them cuz you can then pick up on all sorts of details you missed previously that MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW and make you love the show even more? -> RWBY is so damn easy to rewatch

16) Do you like stories that constantly subvert expectations in brilliant ways? Like in ways that MAKE SENSE? -> RWBY!

17) Do you like stories about HOPE that aren’t just naive and blind to everything and to reality? -> RWBY 100%

18) Do you like fantasy-mecha type weapons that can transform and badass n creative character fighting styles? -> Have I said it enough yet?

19) Do you like shows with INTERESTING villains that actually have interesting backstories and motivations that isn’t just simply cuz they’re “evil”? RWBY

20) FINALLY: Do you like shows that take a very fanservice concept (girls fighting monsters) and gives them stories, personalities, development, and Bechdel-passing relationships, while it takes two male power fantasies (gritty edgelord who uses prolific violence and morally grey actions to pursue a noble goal, and tactical mastermind who makes difficult sacrifices for The Mission) and made them failures?...--> Again, RWBY.

Here’s something else to consider for you

https://yinyangofnevermore.tumblr.com/post/710346324045856768/so-youre-considering-watching-rwby-or-youre

Just remember. NOBODY is saying that RWBY is the best show out there.

We’re simply saying its a good show and that its enjoyable. So please? We’re simply asking you to give this show a chance.

#greenlightvolume10 #greenlightrwbyvolume10

#rwby #rwby is enjoyable #rwby is a good show #i mean for sure rwby is one of them #rwby is good #but please give the fandom just this one thing #give rwby a chance #just give rwby a chance #all we're saying is give rwby a chance #what I would give to see this on youtube #greenlightvolume10 #greenlight rwby volume 10 #greenlightrwbyvolume10 #greenlight volume 10

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riacte · 7 months ago

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Part of the weirdness about m/f ships feels like this kind of performativity from insecure queer teens? At least I think so based on my own experiences. I've always been a big multishipper who likes f/f m/m m/f and any other kind of ship equally but there was awhile where I felt kinda ashamed if I liked a m/f ship "too much" bc I felt like I wasn't gay enough. Like I wasn't queer enough if I didn't ship gay ships enough. Even now (tho I've gotten better) I still feel this obligation to keep the ratios of ship fics I read "even" so I can prove I'm still a good queer. I think in my case it's probably part of my internalized biphobia (since I feel a similar obligation to make I prove I have attraction to all genders and am really bi "enough" in my actual daily life) and it's a similar feeling of stress at having to constantly police your own identity/attraction/interests.

It's unfortunate that this kind of insecurity in how queer we are seems so common in queer people especialky those of us who are young one w/out much actual dating experience (who make a large part of this fandom. This sort of "who even ships m/f lol gay ships only" I've seen others in this fandom doing feels very much like a way of coping with that insecurity, by proving you're gay enough through your ships. I'm sure there are plenty of people who simply are just not interested in m/f but I'm sure there are also others like me, trying to prove we're queer enough by carefully curating our fandom interests.

My thoughts on m/f ships is that the end of the day, shipping is just shipping. It doesn't actually necessarily say much about your sexuality or what you actually want in a relationship and certainly doesn't mean you're less queer.

(Obviously there are other factors too in the weird attitude ppl in the mcyt fandom have about m/f ships, but this is one that has affected me a lot and I've never seen anyone else talk about it so I wanted to bring it up. Idk I hope I made sense)

Thanks for the ask! It was really nice seeing this as a bi person who heavily mains m/f and sometimes feels bad for it (I also main friendships but I mained m/f reallllly hard pre 2020 aka. before this fandom).

Yeah, I feel like it could also be like "we see so much m/f in real life so we should go hard on the other options to even it out". This fandom specifically there's been problems of irl truthing in comments so I completely understand why people shy from it, but it's 2024, we're quite developed in the character vs cc divide, shipping m/f isn't the end of the world.

I do feel guilt over maining m/f (then liking f/f and m/m, in that order, yes Treebark is the exception and my first m/m that I really got into), like for a looong time I was pretty sure it was just terrible heteronormativity that I needed to kill, but now I feel like it's a mix of heteronormativity (which I fight like daily lmfao) and just. being attracted to men and women both. Because when I write m/f, I can write about being attracted to women and men all in one neat package. And it feels "equal" to me. I do tend to prefer pieces of media with an equal gender ratio, or at least the leads are (eg. Miraculous Ladybug (my ex fandom lmao), Kagerou Project (ex fandom, stares into the distance), Spy x Family, Assassination Classroom) so I can love male and female characters. When reading fics, I like reading about loving a man from a woman's pov and loving a woman from a man's pov. Even in HC with its highly uneven gender ratio, this manifests in the corner I've tucked myself into (False, Ren, Stress, Iskall, etc). Although I do also like media with mostly female characters - Love Live (another ex fandom lol), Precure, Madoka Magica, Nikkiverse - and I do read stuff, I just don't really write for them because I wanna write about girls AND guys. Shippy or not. And this leads me to main m/f a lot. That's my personal taste.

Side note: as a kid, I was frustrated by media aimed at boys which had like a whole cast of boys and one token (cardboard cutout) girl AND media aimed at girls which had a whole cast of girls and almost no boys. 9yo me in co-ed school was like "well this doesn't feel very pro gender equality, I want books with the same amount of boys AND girls :((((( oh wait. I can just write it." And.... it ended up defining what I write now? Even outside of shipping, I like m+f friendships a lot. Because I still get to write about a guy and a girl even if they don't kiss or whatever. Idk. Am I cursed with an extreme case of heteronormativity and / or internalised homophobia or am I bisexual. Maybe both. Idk.

Maybe I do have boring stupid milquetoast hetero taste whatever but I'm having a good time in my fandoms and my ships / dynamics. I like writing about my guys and girls and I'll keep on doing it. And I am queer. I am bisexual. This doesn't change.

Anyways watching HTTYD at a young age changed me. Hiccstrid you will always be my origin story <3

Thanks for the ask again! We don't have to prove our queerness because we are queer. Everyone has different tastes. And m/f does get a bad reputation in queer spaces because oftentimes it's done badly and ofc the enemy.... heteronormativity [evil].

Final note re sibling fanon: if you have to turn friends into siblings just to show you're not shipping, you are coming back to heteronormativity. Why can't a (straight) man and a (straight) woman be friends only. What assumptions are you making?

#ask box #answered #personal #finally... ive been released [bi person loving 'boring straight' ships]#idk. i like men and women. so i like writing and reading about men and women in the same sphere. and sometimes they kiss.#all my sets of ocs have mostly equal male-female ratios. it feels wrong otherwise sorry lol #im always here with the male protag + female protag dual povs in my shit

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bqstqnbruin · 2 years ago

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They Shoot Websters, Don't They?

Hi! It's me with another fic to wreck you (but there's hope in this one I promise).

This is for @antoineroussel's winter fic exchange! I had the honor of writing for the lovely @laurenairay! Thanks to my girls @assmanselke @matthewtkachuk @kat-hearts, @raysofcrosby and Demi again for reading and editing this and threatening me to write a happy ending which I still didn't really listen to but here we are.

The title and the end of this are inspired by the Season 3 episode of Gilmore Girls titled "They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They," so iykyk

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing, Asshole boyfriend

WC: 5390

“It’s Christmas Eve, and you’re sitting by yourself on the couch, doing nothing but eating a bowl of chips like a pack mule,” Noel hears through her speakerphone and scoffs at the accusation.

“That’s mean.”

“Am I wrong?”

Noel hesitates. “No,” she says, begrudgingly, putting the bowl of chips down in front of her as if Andre can see her. “What point are you trying to make?”

“Let me pick you up. You can spend the day with me instead of on the couch by yourself.”

She hesitates again. There’s no reason why she should be disrupting her quiet day in the warmth of her apartment and the coziness of the blankets. Her favorite tea is sitting next to her in her favorite mug, she was getting ready to pull up her favorite movie to play in the background, and a stack of books on the side table calling her name as they had been since she got off work the night before. “I don’t want to get up.”

“I’m coming over anyway.”

“Hey, no,” she protests.

“I’m turning on your street right now; I’ll see you in less than two minutes.”

She tries to argue back before he inevitably hangs up without letting her get in another word and contemplates putting the chain on the door so that he can’t get in without her physically letting him in. But that means she will have to get up from the comforts of her blanket and the couch and actually put the chain on the door. Is stopping him from coming in really worth moving?

What’s the harm in spending a day with her best friend? She can’t be with her family because they’re on the other side of the country, she isn’t extremely close with her work friends to have one of them invite her over, and Andre isn’t with his family either. He’s her best friend. That’s it. Any boyfriend she’s ever had never had as much stuff left behind in her place as Andre did.

They know each other better than they know anyone else. Andre has multiple sets of clothing left behind in her apartment, and she has the same at his. He has overnight stuff stashed away for all the nights he spends with her after road trips or when he needs to get away from the guys, and she has stuff at his place for the same reason. He knows where everything is in her kitchen to just start making food for them whenever he wants, and she does the same at his place. He has a copy of her favorite books and movies stashed away somewhere for her in his bedroom, and he has the same thing in her place.

“Webster, you look pathetic,” Andre says, bursting through the door, Noel regretting giving him a spare key, breaking her out of her spiraling about their relationship.

“That key is supposed to be for emergencies, you know,” she fires back, making a face at the use of her last name.

“Based on your current state, this is clearly an emergency,” Andre tells her, flopping down on the couch and attempting to unwrap her. “Hey, don’t hit!”

Noel grumbles, doing her best to attempt to rip the blankets back from him. There’s no need for him to be doing this. She was perfectly fine sitting on her couch. “Stop it,” she tells him, trying her best to get away from him. “You’re being mean.”

The two of them continue to fight with the blankets, Andre ending up with the entire thing behind him, Noel trying her best to reach for them. He puts them behind him, laying down so that they are under his back. Without thinking, Noel’s legs and one arm were on one side of his body, practically laying on top of him while she tries to get the blanket. She feels herself wobbling, Andre’s free hand shooting up to steady her, wrapping it around her and landing on the small of her back. The two of them stop for a minute, both of them breathing heavier than normal from their stupid struggle. Noel swears she sees Andre’s eyes flick between her own and her lips, their heads moving closer and closer ever so slightly. He wants to kiss her, more than she realizes. The moment ends when Noel launches herself back to her corner, clearing her throat and trying to act like nothing has happened.

“So what does your Christmas Eve look like, then?” she asks him, breaking the silence.

“Well, when I was younger, we would go sledding, but there’s no snow for that right now, so that’s out of the question. I would make cookies with my family, and eventually, we would bring them around to our friends.”

“That takes up a whole day?”

“A couple of hours, yeah.”

“Andre,” Noel whines.

“Come on, we can make cookies, watch your Christmas movies, drink the tea you love out of the mug you love, I will even read you the books you have right there while we’re baking if you want.” Andre turns to her, taking her hands in his. “Please, Noel?”

She rolls her eyes at the goofy grin covering his face, the puppy dog eyes that he flashes at her making her unable to say no to him. “Fine. What are we starting with?”

Andre jumps off the couch, his hand still in hers as he drags her to the kitchen. “We can make all the cookies I made with my grandmother growing up, and any you have that you want to make.” He starts to look through her cabinets, trying to find anything that would resemble the ingredients of a cookie and laying them out on the counter. “You only have flour and sugar. You don’t even have eggs. Or milk?”

Noel shrugs, knowing that she has nothing. “I was going to wait out the Christmas chaos and go shopping after the holiday. I have enough to survive, why get more?”

“We’re going,” he tells her, pulling out his phone to see what is still open and for how long. “The market a block over is open until 5, so we have plenty of time to get everything we need.”

“That’s mean to go on Christmas Eve,” Noel tries to protest as Andre starts throwing her coat and hat at her.

“Come on, Webster,” he pleads, calling her by her last name even though he knows she hates it, “We’re going to be in and out. We can even bring the store owner cookies as a thank you if they’re still open when we’re done.” She starts putting on her stuff, not wanting to go outside on the day she’s supposed to stay tucked in. He is just lucky that the stuff she wears around the apartment is something she would go out in on a normal day, too. “Don’t be a Grinch.”

“I’m literally named after Christmas. I can’t be a Grinch by default.”

Andre grins at her, taking her hand in his and dragging her out of her apartment. “This’ll be fun, I promise.”

Andre starts rattling off recipe after recipe, ingredient after ingredient for what is sounding like a plethora of cookies that Noel knows she doesn’t have enough utensils, bowls, and cookie sheets for.

“How many types of cookies do you normally make on Christmas Eve?” she asks, scared for the answer.

“Swedish tradition is seven.”

“Seven?” Noel nearly screams. She can’t even think of seven cookie flavors she likes, let alone seven flavors she can make. “Why seven?”

Andre shrugs, opening the door to the market, suddenly overly conscious that he is still holding Noel’s hand. “Less made you look stingy, more made you look like a show off.”

“I kind of like that.” Noel grabs a basket, trying to keep up with everything that Andre was absent-mindedly throwing at her.

“What kind of cookies did you make when you were growing up?”

“Never had any. Christmas isn’t really a big thing for us. I didn’t really ever celebrate it until I moved out here and met…” Noel starts, trailing off as Andre puts more and more in the basket she’s holding.

“Met Myles,” Andre finishes her sentence for her. He turns his back to her, pretending to look at the different raspberry jams in front of him, swallowing hard at the thought of Noel’s boyfriend. “What’s he doing tonight?”

“He’s been with his family at their ski house since Sunday. I told him not to wait for me since I had to work yesterday, and that I would see him for the New Year.”

“Even more of a reason to be together tonight, then,” Andre chokes out. “We can’t be with our families, we might as well be with our friends instead.”

They finish up at the store, Andre talking a mile a minute about the cookies he wants the two of them to make. They aren’t going to make seven, only the three that Andre knows how to make without looking up the recipes: hallongrottor, schackrutor, and nötkakor. Noel has no idea half of the things he is saying as they walk back, both of them with arms full of bags. She isn’t even sure what he’s talking about is even baking related by the time they get back to her apartment.

“Oh, so you get started on the chess board cookie dough, I’ll do the thumbprints.”

Noel nods and measures and mixes as Andre tells her what to do. It’s soothing, making vanilla and chocolate dough. While she’s mixing, she looks over at Andre, who’s already shaping his cookies. She smiles while she watches him, the intensity that he has on his face as he focuses on making perfect circles, indenting the center just enough so they can hold the raspberry jam he picked out earlier without breaking from the weight of how much jam he plans on putting on the center.

He has flour on his forehead, right above his eyebrow. Noel wants to go over to him and wipe it off. But that would be weird, wouldn’t it? There’s no reason to do that. She can just tell him that it’s there. Or just help him and get it off, because there’s nothing to make it weird.

He can feel her staring at him, a smirk on his face forming when he tries to catch her eyes. Every time he looks at her, she looks away, Andre knowing that she felt heat rising to her cheeks as she pretended to focus on the dough in front of her. “Let me know when you need help rolling the dough out,” he tells her.

“Check what I have.” He walks over to her, the two balls of dough looking pretty good in front of her, ready to roll out.

“You have to keep it so it’s about two centimeters thick,” he says, dusting the counter with flour, hearing her scoff. “What?”

“Centimeters,” she teases, knowing it will irritate him.

“I get it, you’re American. You use inches. You want it a little less than an inch thick. Happy?” he asks her, throwing a little bit of the flour in her face.

“Oh, come on,” she replies, taking some of the flour and throwing it back at him.

The two of them start a small food fight, getting flour everywhere, covering every inch of themselves rather than the counter they are supposed to cover. The flour gets on the floor, Noel’s cabinets, all over their clothes and stuck in their hair. In her socks, Noel slips on the flour that has accumulated on the floor; Andre catches her just before she falls.

His arms are wrapped around her as tight as he has allowed them to go, trying to process the feeling of her in his arms, finally holding her despite the fact that it isn’t something he’s able to do freely.

“Are you ok?” he whispers, his voice low. He can feel himself getting nervous, his heart racing, convincing himself that she can feel it beating against her.

Noel nods before she can find the words. “Um, yeah,” she stammers, “Thanks.”

Andre lets go of her before he does anything else, taking a moment to look around at the mess they made in that short amount of time. “Should we keep going with the cookies, or clean first?”

“Cookies, then clean.”

He nods, following her back to the counter to help her roll out the dough. “You don’t want to put too much pressure on the dough.”

Noel nods again, feeling Andre getting closer to her as she starts to follow his directions again. She grips the rolling pin so tight her knuckles start to turn white, subconsciously letting out her frustration over the two missed moments on the dough.

“Not quite like that,” he says, coming up next to her. He rests his hands on hers, his one arm stretched across her chest as he tries to show her what he means. “Loosen up a little bit.”

He holds her hands in his, guiding the rolling pin over the dough as gently as he can. “Like this,” he says, turning his head to face her. Noel stares at the dough, trying her best to not look at him. He studies her, the way the lock of hair tucked behind her ear curls at the ends, the way she’s clenched her jaw, the feeling of her hands relaxing with his around them.

Noel swallows hard, the feeling of his arm relaxing ever so slightly against her making her heart race. Myles. She needs to think of Myles. But she could just lean in.

Noel’s phone buzzes, nearly vibrating itself off the counter. Both of them jump apart. “It’s Myles.”

“Go on, I’ll finish these.” Noel leaves the room, her flirty ‘hello’ ringing in Andre’s ears as he tries to not listen to her talk to her boyfriend. He takes out his own phone, pulling up the group chat with some of his teammates.

Jesus Christ, he texts, starting to type another message immediately.

You rang? Phillip replies immediately.

Stop that, he responds, rolling his eyes at his teammate. I’m with Noel.

And? Larsson asks.

I swear we almost kissed three times already.

Here we go, Alexander says.

Not this again, comes from Larsson at the same time, Andre practically able to hear the groans from his friends.

Anyway, Andre types again, Myles left her to go ski, she was all alone.

And you had to be the one to spend time with her? Phillip asks.

He knows his teammates are over his pining over her, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to get their help in the slightest. She’s my best friend...

Before he can read their responses, Noel comes back into the kitchen. Andre’s unable to read her expression. “What’s up?”

Noel shrugs, not making eye contact with him. “He just wanted to call and say, ‘hi.’ I asked how the slopes were, he said they were fine. He asked what I was doing, I said I was with you,” she tells him, trailing off.

“And?” he asks, hoping she’s finished her sentence. He can already tell what she’s about to say. It’s the same thing that Myles says to her every time Andre’s name comes up in conversation. It’s the same thing that Noel has come to him for multiple times during her relationship with Myles.

Noel shakes her head, forcing out a short laugh. “Same shit, different day. He’s not happy that I’m spending time with you ‘unsupervised.’”

Andre hates this conversation. “Jesus,” he breathes out. The two of them stand there in silence for a minute, both of them going back to their cookies and Noel not noticing the complete lack of progress Andre made in her absence. “Should I leave? Would that make things better?”

“What?” she shrieks, causing Andre to drop the cookie he was shaping back on the counter. “No. Do you want to?”

“I don’t want to. Do you want me to?”

“God, no,” she lets out, probably a little too fast. “No, Myles is just being annoying. He knows what our relationship is. He knows that we’re...”

“Friends,” Andre finishes for her.

“Best friends.” They fall back into silence, Andre getting the oven heated up so that they can start baking the plethora of cookies that they had made. Noel can remember the last time she saw this many cookies in front of her, let alone the last time she had helped make this many cookies. “We should take a picture of this.”

Andre looks up at her, “Of the cookies?”

“Yeah,” she starts, pulling out her phone and bringing up the camera. “Of us and the cookies.”

She hands Andre her phone, standing closer to him as he positions the camera, her holding up one of the baking sheets. They can’t help but laugh, forgetting they were still covered in flour from earlier. Andre pulls her closer, wrapping his free arm around her as she tilts her head toward his chest. The two of them smile, unable to stop as they look at their current state. Noel doesn’t hesitate to post it, no caption, putting a heart and tagging Andre. It’ll make Myles furious to see that post.

Good.

“So,” Andre starts, looking at the notification from Noel and seeing the heart next to his name. It meant nothing. It’s a platonic heart, he tries to tell himself. “Some of the guys are getting together tonight.”

“Don’t you guys spend enough time together already?” Noel jokes, tossing him a towel to start washing off the flour.

“Well, yeah, but not all of us have other family around to spend the holidays with. So, we’re spending it together.”

“Whose house are you going to?”

“Eberle’s.”

Noel laughs. “Lauren must love hosting that.” Her phone starts buzzing, texts and notifications from Myles flooding her phone. “So, what time do you have to be there tonight?”

“Ebs said we can head over whenever.’

Noel stops trying to get the flour out of her hair. “We?”

“Oh, come on, you thought I would leave you alone for the guys?”

Noel can feel her heart racing at his words. Myles had no hesitation leaving her for the ski house, not even putting up a fight when she said that he should go without her. Is it unfair for her to expect that of him? No, she tells herself. Myles is her boyfriend. Shouldn’t he want to spend Christmas with her when he knows her family never had the means to get all together for the holiday and that she was yet again going to be alone?

Andre’s acting the way that Myles should have been acting for her, or at least the way she’s always wanted Myles to act.

“What do we wear?”

“Something nicer than the flour-stained joggers you have right now. You go clean up, I can pick something out for you,” he tells her, shooing her out of the kitchen. He takes a tray of cookies out of the oven; they’re baked just like he always made them with his grandmother when he was younger. He grabs a few for Noel on one of her plates before heading into her room to find her something to wear.

The cookies finish baking, Andre finally cleans himself up and changes into a set of clothes he had left behind after one of his games, Noel is nice enough to wash his stuff with hers. He plops himself on the couch, scrolling through the texts from his teammates asking where he was.

Her story??? Comes from Alexander.

You too look like more than friends at least, is from Phillip.

So she’s coming tonight? From Adam.

He keeps scrolling, seeing the teasing from the guys, rolling his eyes at every comment that asks why he is hanging out with a girl he likes when he knows she has a boyfriend. He can’t help it. Even if he likes her, has whatever feeling he does for her, she’s still his best friend. His wanting more than that doesn’t change that. He won’t let it change that.

Andre starts to type out a reply to tell them that he’ll be on his way soon, that he’s just waiting for Noel when she appears in front of him. He takes in a sharp breath; he definitely picked the right outfit for her, the sweater and jeans so simple yet they look amazing on her. Everything she wore was amazing on her, though.

“You look–” he says, searching for the right word to say to her. “Wow.”

“Wow, yourself. At least you clean up well,” she laughs, clearly mocking his inability to talk. “You ready?”

Andre gets up from the couch, unable to take his eyes off Noel as she moves through her apartment. He barely registers her complaints about finishing the cookies so late, breaking his promise to her from earlier that they would drop some off at the market.

He wants to reach out and take her hand, walk her to the car. He wants to press her against the door as she reaches for the handle and kiss her right there. He wishes he could do that disgustingly cute thing while he’s driving where he rests his hand on her thigh, her hand resting on top while they drive to his teammate’s house.

He wishes she wasn’t with Myles.

The two ride without talking to each other, the only sound in the car coming from the Christmas music playing on the radio while they drive to the Eberle’s house. Noel’s phone keeps buzzing; Andre watches her type furiously out of the corner of his eye. It has to be Myles texting her. There’s no one else who would spend so much time texting her like this, causing the sour look on her face.

“Everything ok?” he asks her when they finally pull up near his teammate’s house.

“Myles is being a dick,” she mumbles, locking her phone and practically throwing it in her purse. She doesn’t wait for him to say anything else before starting on a rant. “He’s telling me that if I was planning on going out on Christmas Eve, then I should have met his family at their ski house. That by spending the day with you instead I’m being a bad girlfriend, when he didn’t even fucking invite me up to the house in the first place. The only reason he invited me is because I told him I was spending the day with you. That you came over because you were also alone, that we made cookies because it was something you did when you were younger, that we were going to your teammate’s house because it was something you were doing anyway and the guys invited me.”

“You didn’t have to come out tonight,” he starts, feeling anger bubble up inside him.

“No, it’s not that,” Noel starts before he can say anything else. “It’s that he’s getting mad at me for being with you. He had no issue with me spending Christmas by myself. He was fine with me sitting on the couch the entire weekend. It wasn’t until I told him I was with you that he started to act like that. It’s always when I’m with you that he starts to act like this.”

“Noel,” Andre whispers, trying to figure out what to say. “Why are you still with him?”

She looks down at her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. She shrugs, knowing that whatever she could tell him won’t be enough for him to believe her. She isn’t sure that anything she’s about to say is actually going to be true, anyway. “I love him. I loved him.”

They sit in silence for a moment, both of them trying to process what she just said. Andre wishes he could just reach over the center console and kiss her, hug her, do anything to stop the tears he was watching roll down her cheeks. Noel just wants to go inside and forget the entire conversation with her boyfriend happened, forget for a night that she has a boyfriend, and just spend it with her best friend instead.

“Let’s go in, Webster. I’m sure there’s something in there that will be better than this.” Andre gets out of the car, rushing around to the passenger side to give Noel his arm and walk her in. “You’re going to be fine. Whatever happens is going to happen for a reason.”

“You sound like a bad fortune cookie, you know that?”

They let out a laugh, letting themselves into the house to be welcomed by the screams of Andre’s teammates and their families. Some of his teammates look way too drunk for their own good, Andre already getting excited at the prospect of the embarrassing stories to come out of tonight. Noel can feel her heart melting at the cuteness of the children running around and playing, some of them with mini hockey sticks while others had random toys.

Andre takes Noel’s hand and leads her through the house, looking for drinks. If there’s one thing Noel needs tonight, it’s alcohol. She wants to forget Myles’s anger from earlier for just a little while, pretend that the moments she had with Andre weren’t messing with her and making her want to break up with him more than normal. She was spending the day with her best friend.

The two of them wander around the party, Noel downing her first drink much faster than she should have. But that’s fine, she tells herself, because it’s already helping her take her mind off of Myles. He didn’t matter if he was going to tell her who she could hang out with. He had no care in the world about her being alone, so why is he all of a sudden mad that she was with Andre?

She looks at Andre while he’s talking to Phillip and Alexander, his other teammates milling around them in their own worlds. There’s no denying that he’s attractive, that she’s attracted to him. How could she not be? He’s gentle and sweet to her, they know everything about each other, good, bad, and otherwise, and they still want to spend all of their free time with each other. She sees spending time with Myles as a chore, but spending time with Andre is something she wants to do all the time. She thinks about the last real date Myles took her on, how she kept checking her phone when he wasn’t looking to see what Andre had texted her, how his game was going, what the guys were doing.

He’s just her best friend. Right?

The group of them start drifting through the house together, Andre’s teammates leading them in what seems like an odd path until they stop suddenly. The two of them exchange looks, Noel rolling her eyes at his teammates’ antics. They’re up to something, she just doesn’t know what.

“Hey, you two,” Phillip says, finally pulling Noel into the conversation that had been happening in front of her the entire time. “Look up.”

They do as they’re told, noticing that Andre’s teammates have led them to an entryway to the living room, where Jordan and Lauren have hung mistletoe.

“Oh, come on,” Noel groans, a teasing smile on her face to hide the fact that her heart has started to race at the thought of finally being able to kiss Andre. If they do, it won’t mean anything. It’s just a stupid thing that people do when they’re caught under the mistletoe.

“Guys, she has a boyfriend,” Andre starts to argue, his teammates not willing to listen.

“You’re both standing under it, you have to now,” Alexander says, an evil smirk on his face that makes Andre’s heart sink. He hates them at that moment.

This isn’t how he wants to kiss Noel for the first time. It isn’t supposed to be in front of his teammates and their families. It isn’t supposed to be when she was dating Myles. He isn’t sure what it’s supposed to be, but at least he knows it shouldn’t be the situation at hand.

Phillip and Alexander start chanting for the two of them to kiss, slowly bringing everyone else around them as well. He knows his face is bright red, feeling the heat in his ears as he looks at Noel with the most panicked expression he can give her.

Noel lets out a laugh, hoping Andre isn’t able to pick up on her nerves. She leans towards him and whispers, “It’s no big deal. It’ll only last a second. It’s just a stupid tradition, right?”

“Right,” he says, not feeling any better.

Andre bends down, Noel’s hand finding his shoulder. Andre ghosts her lips, trying to force himself to just kiss the girl he’s wanted more from since he met her.

“Hey,” they hear, causing them to pull apart. Everyone around them falls silent, the chanting stopping, the kids not running around anymore.

“Myles?” Noel asks the panic in her voice now clear. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” Myles yells. In trying to forget everything about that day, Noel also forgot that she and Myles had shared their locations with each other when they first became official, meaning he could find her and she could find him whenever they needed. “I came to get you, and I find him making a move on you.”

“It’s mistletoe, it doesn’t mean anything,” Andre says, moving in front of Noel.

“It doesn’t mean anything?” Myles laughs. “You really think I don’t know what this is? You two are always together. Half the time I can’t even get a hold of Noel because she’s with you. Do you think I don’t see the way you talk to each other? I call you today and I find out that you’ve changed your entire day because you’re spending time with him?”

“We’re just friends,” Noel lets out, trying to process everything he was saying.

“I just pointed out that she has a boyfriend,” Andre tries, not knowing how that was going to help him in the slightest. “Not anymore, she doesn’t,” Myles says, storming off. Noel follows him, tears streaming down her face, trying to talk to him while he makes his way outside. “No, Noel. I’m sick of this. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I don’t want to be with someone who hangs out with a person I hate. I don’t want to be with someone who is so obviously in love with someone else.”

The two of them stand on the porch, having left the house before Myles continued to yell at her. She has no jacket on, the cold air adding to the numb feeling that is overtaking her.

“I’m done, Noel.”

He leaves without another word, Noel left to crumble on the porch step and watch him drive away. She can’t bring herself to cry, not feeling sad like she thought she would after a relationship ended in the way it just did. She wanted to break up with him, but she didn’t think it would be in front of a group of people, and she didn’t want it to be because of whatever feelings she has for Andre.

“Hey,” she hears, Andre appearing beside her. “Are you ok?” She can’t bring herself to talk, just giving him a nod as he sits next to her. She can feel her heart racing as his thigh rests against hers. “He’s a jerk. Yelling at you like that in front of everyone?”

“It’s not like he was wrong, though,” she sniffles. “Everything he said about you and me, about how we were in a relationship with someone we didn’t want to be with, about how we have feelings for each other. He was right. Wasn’t he?”

Andre opens his mouth, not wanting to outright admit it just yet. There has to be a better way to tell her.

“Well, he was right about me, at least,” Noel tells him, feeling her heart break over his lack of answer.

“No, he was right. About everything.”

#shelb wouldn't let me post this until SHE READ IT FIRST #i have been waiting for an hour to post this #andre burakovsky imagine #andre burakovsky #seattle kraken #seattle kraken imagines #nhl #nhl imagines #hockey #hockey imagines

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ubercharge · 10 months ago

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im not sure if anyone asked you yet, but thoughts on the dunmeshi anime?

thanks for asking! sometimes i forget i exist here as a person cuz i just log on to queue random stuff without making posts 💀

it's pretty rare for me to watch an anime without ever reading the manga, and there've been stellar adaptations recently. ONK, kisekoi, BTR, frieren, CSM just to name a few. in a landscape where we're used to being disappointed as readers who have a frame of reference before watching a show, i had very, very high hopes for the dunmeshi adaptations that weren't quite fulfilled.

i'll dump everything under a cut since i actually have a lot to say, sorry if you were expecting it to be brief 😎

the lines in the artistic style are good, nicely translating the characters into animated format. really no notes there. definitely a nicer comparison for char designs between manga and anime vs. tonsuki and tensura who both have incredible manga styles that the anime stumble over (though in the latter's case, i don't think they were aiming for it sadly)

the shading has been fine, but weakened by the colour choices. some of the dungeon scenes (e.g., living armour stuff) are lit with a medium blue which helps to sell the idea of the scene being in a place not lit by fire (and contrasts it with the making camp & cooking scenes), but the lack of dark shading flattens some of these very well-drawn images.

the earlier chapters don't have the same level of detail as newer ones, but the art style is still fantastic - it's expressive with high contrast and shows action and impact perfectly well. manga will often times have a naturally easier way with contrast due to it being in black & white, but i don't think that means anime should just give up on contrast in favour of playing ineffectively with colour.

here's a night shot of fern from frieren. the choices made here allow for the shading to stand out from the flats and give her more definition overall while still being relatively simple (just flats + shading)

when dunmeshi has more "normal" lighting conditions, it does a lot better. similar to fern up there, there's about the same amount of difference between the flats and shadows, so i really wish they did a better job on the dungeon scenes since they're going to have to deal with non-torchlit scenes plenty. i won't argue that the living armor scene certainly has some kind of a sickly, alien mood to it, but tl;dr i think it should've had darker shading if not also being less green. this largely applies to every other blue-green lit scene they've done.

looking at kui's coloured drawings in the ed gives me an idea of what could've been and it makes me sad to lose out on colour choices more similar to that (even if they obviously can't have her level of detail on top of it)

some of the backgrounds haven't been too interesting but some have been good, overall it's probably fine. plus you can only draw and detail repeating bricks so many times before the viewer gets bored of looking at them anyway, i guess.

the animation is really fun and expressive. it's trigger, so they don't keep scenes stiffly on-model when they want characters moving around. this is good because it helps to sell both action and comedy moments!

the music overall i haven't really cared for? the BGM has not been particularly moving, interesting, or memorable - mostly generic. and i've seen too many fantasy shows for my own good, so i might be harder to impress (but i even remember tenken had a good BGM song or two to make a fight dramatic and that show was barely above average at best)

i'm biased not being particularly into bump, so i would've selected a different artist for the OP (i actually did like the bump OP from SxF though, come to think of it). before anyone makes a wisecrack based on what i've watched lately, no it doesn't have to be yoasobi.

i maybe feel the ED song would've been better for the OP, i don't like the largely peaceful bit of the OP with very still visuals. the OP is where you reel people in! it should be an eye-catching hook, representative of what to expect with some extra sauce on top.

the ED is great, total bop. it's a fine time for slower visuals as an enjoyable wind-down from the episode, so less or no animation is no big deal. plus kui's art is absolutely gorgeous! it all perfectly fits that "end of work" fun and lighthearted mood they were going for.

i largely enjoy the voice acting. i would've personally gone for a less "old man" voice on senshi because he's really not that old for a dwarf, but they obviously wanted to make it clear he was the older, wiser, knowledgeable character.

this might be my own personally most blasphemous opinion, but i would've picked a different VA for falin. i want to make it clear i absolutely adore saori hayami - she's incredible and one of my faves. with that said, her voice fits the character, so maybe it's just because i've heard her too often which is not her fault by any means! i love the voices for laios, marcille, and chil.

it seems netflix's subs go off of the official EN TL of the manga, which makes sense, but i've talked about how i don't like it more than ehscans' TL (which is one of the single best TLs i've read for a series, official or otherwise) and that holds true for the anime ("mad sorcerer" is cooler AND less clunky than "lunatic magician"). i prefer less localisation stuff and/or quirkiness in my subs and more direct translation for both manga and anime.

as for the changes/additions they've made to the show, some of them have been alright and some i didn't care for. they really want to sell marcille as the funny joke character which is why they had her being chased by the basilisk instead of having doni & fionil like it was in the manga which was better for the pacing and had good impact vs a funny clip of marcille running back and forth.

i don't dislike when adaptations add or change stuff, but placing them cleanly is important. dunmeshi is already really funny! i don't think it needs help being funnier by reaching for the cheap laugh. when laios sees two people running for their lives from a basilisk and he just goes "wow that's a bad way to run from that monster", it's already lowkey hilarious - all the more so followed by marcille telling mr. monster-know-it-all to go rescue them if he knows what's up and him rescuing them by making himself big and chicken squawking real loud (which embarrasses marcille and chil, but c'mon guys, at least his idea worked!). i feel like the comedy in laios' funny hero moment is undercut by forcing the marcille butt of the joke moment in the anime.

dunmeshi is already incredibly good at just about everything it does. i feel if an adaptation wants to add or change something, it's often better amplifying a strength or shoring up a weakness in the source material. BTR adds a lot to the source (not hard considering the source is a 4koma) and makes already funny things even funnier. the "we should all get social media" scene is elevated to iconic status with the visual of bocchi glitching out + the VA's inhuman screech. i can't say where i'd really want to change or add stuff to dunmeshi, since it really feels so good and whole, but i'm sure there's room in the process of translating manga panels to animated scenes, and i think the direction overall could've been better (comparing most shows to BTR isn't fair i know because BTR is directed & adapted so well it's hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby territory)

i've mostly said negative stuff, but i don't want it to sound like i hate or even really dislike the adaptation. i think when it comes to a series you really love, you want to see the best adaptation possible within reason, and the disappointment of stuff not being quite what you were hoping for is amplified by so many other recent adaptations being so good.

dunmeshi does not have a bad anime by any means, but a lot of that is thanks to the source material's quality. if they do another season, i hope they have more time/budget/whatever because i think a lot of the parts it does have are good parts! but in this case, i wasn't hoping for good; i was hoping for great.

trigger makes great shows with wacky storylines (in some ways, the same one wacky storyline, but that's a different discussion) and dunmeshi, being directed by someone who's worked on a bunch of trigger stuff (largely sci-fi leaning), maybe needed some more direction from people who've worked on fantasy stuff? i can't say for sure what would've been enough to take the show over the top, but though i generally don't hope for much from adaptations, i really did have higher hopes for this one than it ended up achieving.

overall it seems i'll end up scoring the show a 7 or 7.5 when i finish the season, though there's certainly still room to wow us all. whatever you feel about the adaptation, whether you liked it or not, whether or not you've read the manga, feel free to comment your thoughts below or in my inbox. let's keep it free of manga spoils for anime-only watchers, though!

#sorry this is REALLY long #ask answer #anon #i've been busy with TEA in ffxiv but i'll try to post more!

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