#hooray! things no one asked for!
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sprooknooky · 1 year ago
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Headcanons on what the Spriggan 12 smell like (something absolutely no one asked for):
Irene smells like old books. That smell when you enter a library? Opening a book you haven’t touched for a long time? For some reason she smells like it. It gives some people an unexplained feeling that they’re about to get a paper cut.
Invel just smells cold. It’s like how ice cream doesn’t smell like much. It’s really unnerving.
Wall obviously smells like metal, but he also smells like oil and smoke. Standing next to him is like standing outside in the heat at a gas station. He’s already hard to be around because he’s so boisterous, but it makes him even more likely to be avoided. I don’t think he’s ever cleaned himself. A bath wouldn’t do much for him, so he just kind of reeks.
Jacob smells like unscented things because that’s all he uses. Unscented deodorant, body wash, shampoo, laundry detergent… it makes him smell pretty clean, but it’s hardly noticeable.
Ajeel smells like a really shitty beach day, like the bottoms of your feet getting burnt on the sand. Warm, but not pleasant.
Bloodman smells like rotting, but the smell isn’t really coming from him, it’s more the scent of his curses. When he’s in a corporeal form, he smells like wet fertilized earth, like dirt after a heavy rainstorm, but as soon as his body releases bane particles, he smells like death itself.
You know that weird lotion-y smell that a lot of old people have? That’s what August smells like. It’s kind of sticky, but not in a particularly unpleasant way. He also gives me the vibes that he uses one of those generic name brand man scents of cologne or deodorant.
Brandish smells like tea and spices. She doesn’t drink tea very often, she’s more of a fan of sweets, but for some reason the smell sticks to her.
Larcade smells like the outdoors, like that fresh cut grass smell that everyone enjoys, or dry leaves.
Neinhart is probably the only person here to actually care about how they smell. He uses lavender perfume, and it makes them smell really nice. Her efforts aren’t really appreciated, though. If only the other Spriggan actually cared about that kind of thing.
Serena smells ridiculously sweet, like a candy store. Think those big oversized rainbow lollipops. He will not explain how he made this happen.
Because of the god inside of her, Dimaria smells really strange and otherworldly. People have compared it to freshly poured concrete or tumbled rocks, but there’s something weirdly off about it. She just kind of smells wrong.
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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offering three cookies 🍪🍪🍪
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(<< part 1)
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fisherrprince · 8 days ago
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You have made me interested in balloon smp but I feel so old and of touch because I cannot find the past streams on twitch. Cannot figure out where and in which order to watch...can I ask where you've been watching the videos/streams?
ok, so, there’s ~36 people all doing it concurrently, which is a lot. But! Here is the list of players, if you know someone you like on that list pick them and just watch sequentially day 1->finale. if you don’t know Anyone on there and you want a point to start at for just. Getting most of the plot, pick someone from A B or C. Or E. Team F has a really great plot but they stay a bit out of the overarching plot until the last weeks, and I haven’t gotten to team D yet so I don’t know what they know im sorry team d 🥺
Many of the players have VOD channels up on YouTube or playlists of balloon vods specifically, lots of people who don’t have the streams in their twitch archives somewhere (like, “past broadcasts” usually), look for player vod channels. Some don’t have saved archives and some didn’t stream it! I know for certain sophie robby skull kuu gibson buggle and jame have up to date vod channels because I’ve seen them… woops and skullvolver are making edited videos rn but theyre Both team a… and im not sure who else is planning on it!
tldr, pick someone and watch them in order and peek in on other peoples’ vods from time to time when something Happens because sometimes seeing it from another angle is cool. Also, sometimes seeing it from another angle is Important because there’s Lore no one else got to see. Search “playername vods” on YouTube and it should direct you to the right place.
more specifics that kinda get into spoilers:
Here’s some plots of interest that certain people see and others don’t (ONLY BASED ON WHAT I KNOW I am not a lore master I don’t have 36x8x32… uh… good gravy 576 possible hours. of content. I DONT HAVE 576 HOURS TO SIT AND WATCH STREAMS someone was going to put together a lore doc somewhere though):
woops: tries to keep track of lore, goes on ghost knight swordquest
sophiebaybey: unwitting accessory to world murder, sees WAY more of PG and balloons lore than most people on account of The Events.
skullvolver/socksbx: revenant revengequest x2 and soul link plot, also socks is a mod and they get up to some funny business. poke in and watch one of them for the end of day 14 trust me 🫵
robbydude: doomer gnome made me cry but that’s not important. ghostquest continues upon the holy land even if we DONT WANT IT TO. jerry mouse is there
jame7t: sees kind of all of it from a distance, good coverage, citadel time (I like building streams)
shinigamieater: it’s possession clues. What if you were 15 ants of dubious morality in a human body
padabana: instigates the end of the world, once if you’re realistic twice if you’re being pedantic. it’s paranoia clues
kaoiji: there’s time travel, and it gets worse from there but I can’t FIND their vods so im redirecting you to robbydude
renobee: GOD??????????
#blsmp#uh if anyone has plots of interest to add I am also interested so you can put those in here#ask#ALSO I WILL come back and say two things number one.#this is tuoys. they’re playing soap opera. it gets pretty dramatic and intense but if they actually fought we wouldnt know about it#so if you’re a bit sensitive to arguing maybe relax and step back. those are friends on the internet playing characters don’t be weird#One and a half it ALSO gets pretty silly which is why I keep coming back it’s very silly#two this is all improv with Some direction by the mod team SO IF YOU WANT TO APPRECIATE THE MOD TEAM…#THEY HAVE A KOFI… STILL UP……….#to support the devs they made So many custom events and models and sounds it’s cool#https://ko-fi.com/balloonsmp … coughs…#anyways. Anon; I would never say my way of doing it was best but here’s what I did:#woops from day 1->end. robbydude day 1->end. Wildly skip around buggle jame kuu gibson skull socks yoda and ausk#wildly skip back and forth between sophie and Holly because I got end of evangelion’d at the end of gibsons stream and went HEYYYYYY#hooray! Discovery! It’s like digging for clues in here. enrichment for fisher#you don’t get the full story with One perspective and it’s cool!#uhhhmmm im trying to decide who’s best to watch for the finale but. I don’t know. Gibson’s my favorite so far for finale vibes#sorry for yapping it’s early and I have been putting off packing my suitcase for 4 hours. Ehe#I would also say that in the beginning no one contacts each others teams so disparate things happen#but by the end they’re all working together so a lot of things repeat if you watch multiple perspectives
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0x1000 · 3 months ago
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do you have any books/general non-fanfiction reading recs? i'm compiling my next reading list
Oh fuck, this is a fun question! For lack of knowing specifically what you're interested in reading, I'll just respond with the small shelf of books that I brought to college—these are my recommendations, because these are what I wanted to keep close to me.
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PICTURED: Be Kind, My Neighbor by Yugo Limbo, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai, Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov, White Noise by Don DeLillo, House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski, Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, and the Ambergris trilogy by Jeff VanderMeer.
NOT PICTURED: Some books I recently read and really enjoyed were Piranesi by Susanna Clarke, Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, and The City & the City by China Miéville. Also not pictured: the Southern Reach trilogy by Jeff VanderMeer, which is ALSO really good. Currently, I'm reading Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut!
Unfortunately—unlike my writing—none of these books really contain robot erotica. But if you choose to read them you will probably enjoy them anyway. (One of them contains puppet pornography though. Which one? Read them all to find out!)
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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months ago
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costume design, set mockup, and rehearsal photos from this guide to the show that's like really thorough in providing Context like, mini articles about the creators of the original movie, musical, and movie musical, about other versions of productions, the history, quotes of other commentary, interview quotes, context of other / preexisting genres like b movies, faustian stories, "what if a plant was weird" stories, glossary of terms (such as references that may generally be less obscure if you were in the '60s, e.g.), suggested further reading....haven't read it top to bottom but i think it's fantastic, link to the pdf as post source
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skrunksthatwunk · 6 months ago
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stole this chart from @asubakaa and spent wayyy too much time making my own so. yeah. also i did 6 instead of 5 bc i know no restraint
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#aughh i just spent ages typing out an honorable mention list and then i was like i don't like this actually so i deleted it#whatever you're not getting an explanation. unless you ask then i mean sure i don't mind#i find it funny that the straight ship canonicity ratio is lower than the lesbian one. there's just smth about het stuff when it's not cano#each tier had its own challenges with brainstorming which was fun#i don't have a lotta straight ships i think about in a frothing seething howlilng way. fakiru and tamaharu are really the biggest ones atm#gay ships are the most common for me bc i consume a lotta guy-dominated media and things get homoerotic pretty fast#but that also meant there was a lot to sift through and i always felt like i was forgetting something#like i almost forgot killugon. KILLUGON. the same killugon that i was painfully obsessed with for multiple years yes that one#formative to my life in middle school and everything. my little gay guys forever. theyre very sweet how could i forget them#and with sapphic stuff it was various issues in depiction. like 'no one ships these two from this obscureish movie but me' and 'they're boo#characters so how do i depict this visually' and 'no one knows these two the fandom's bone dry :('#there's a lotta ships i like but it was sometimes hard to find ones i LOVEd enough to put alongside the others yknow. a problem with all 3#categories. anyway a fun thing for my brain to do hooray#the most violently snubbed honorable mentions are probably griffith and guts bergerk. i wouldn't say i ship them exactly but they were in#love and should not be together in the present. as far as i've read. complicated but they're in my brain real good real deep in there#and hua cheng and xie lian tgcf. probably shoulda been there over the lawyers now that i'm thinking about it just in terms of sheer brainro#bc they took over my life about as hard as the other mxtx guys did. but yeah anyway#also i realized after this that i forgot horikashi.. which would probably take seowaka's place </3
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daz4i · 1 year ago
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i love and agree with every mental illness or neurodivergency or physical disability hc anyone has abt any character btw. ESPECIALLY if they're projecting. unironically more ppl should do it
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janeways-coffees · 24 hours ago
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Whoever decided fish is parve i would like a word
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ask-thomassaggs · 1 year ago
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Wait... can you understand other ferns as a fern? Do they have anything to say?
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*-Rustles-*
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sanchoyo · 1 year ago
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ummm no im not a 'job hopper' haha...im like barbie. multiskilled. multicareered, even. put some positive framing on my impulsive and flighty nature please 😤
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i hate my family and myself so much
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outeremissary · 2 years ago
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🌙👑❇️ for Balthazar please?
🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?
Balthazar would define his greatest wish as being powerful on his own terms, able to do anything he wanted without consequence or being beholden to anyone. Wealthy with political power, maybe, or better: possessing fearsome arcane ability to make people afraid to cross him. Maybe even eternal life, right...? He's willing to go a long way for it: he never in a million years would have gambled his life in some shitty backwater doing some ridiculous, stupid, dangerous adventurer thing without the temptation of that sweet, sweet title at the end. Stupid, risky bullshit to possess or preserve power is him all the way down, no matter how many times it gets him hurt. It always just feels like this is the time the gamble will pay off without loss.
Of course, if you want the secret answer of god... Perhaps, deep down, what he wants more than any of that is the chance at a peaceful, ordinary life he was robbed of by the circumstances of his birth. The chance to just be human and live life without worrying about whether other people see you or some nameless ancestor in your place.
👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?
Well, he certainly doesn't want to be remembered as an aasimar. I'd say he wants to be remembered for something he did himself, whether it's good or bad. A legendary ruler or powerful archmage would work. Or the one whose hubris or tyranny instated a new age of horror. Also fine. He doesn't have any truly concrete thoughts on his legacy, but there's definitely appeal to being something truly infamous. He would absolutely love to have the reputation Areelu Vorlesh enjoys.
The why is pretty simple. He just loves to make a scene.
❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?
Hm, an interesting question, because I think possessions are of surprisingly little value to Balthazar. He's lost almost everything he owns more than once in his life, and that kind of reduced the sentimental value of objects for him. I suppose his most prized possession is be whatever his favorite piece of clothing or jewelry is at the moment- a status that can be rather ephemeral. At the beginning of Kingmaker, it was probably a doublet embellished with golden embroidery that he managed to hang on to over the many, many months of wandering after fleeing Absalom. If he'd traveled any further he probably would have had to sell it as well. It was the most valuable thing he still had. Over time the token given to him by Nyrissa also becomes very valuable to him- he has it on his person practically all the time after her death. Nothing has sentimental value quite like the memory of a worthy rival, right?
(And if something, say, befell Tristian, as has been known to happen, I'd say that without question the most important possession would be Tristian's holy symbol.)
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collaredkittyboy · 1 year ago
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ajhswfbghjkdabfauwifhuaf *purrs* thabngk you :3
You're welcome sweetheart 😽💕
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townofcadence · 4 months ago
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🗣 to Artair, Francois, Jace, and Richard please! Or any of them if you don't wanna do all of them!
How My Muse would Describe Yours
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"Oh shit--- Fuck, where did he go? Hey have you seen-- um he's a guy with long white hair and two black bangs on either side? Jean jacket with a bunch of pins and patches and a red shirt? He's got a star on a necklace and ripped jeans and red converse. Um-- he's also got one green eye and a blue eye and a scar over his nose? He talks really fast? Have you seen him? I swear every time i look around he's run off again."
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"I am looking for someone. Bright energy, very happy. Likely says outlandish things at random at very fast speeds relentlessly. He's wearing a jacket with supernatural pins on it. He was probably touching something he shouldn't have."
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"I'm lookin' for m'friend! He's pretty bright and bubbly, and he's got lots of energy! His eyes are blue and green, and he's got a few piercings! A cuff from the lobe to the helix on one side and two helix piercings on the other side too! He's also got a red shirt and a blue jean jacket on, with lots of cool patches! He goes by Steph if you've seen him!"
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"My my, I don't believe I know anyone by that name, Darling. Steph, you said? No, I've never heard of him. But I hope you find him soon~."
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e77y · 9 months ago
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Last lesson with my voice professor went great 🥲❤️ I only cried a little. She gave me some names of choruses and opera choirs to audition for in the city I’m moving to next semester, and she said she’ll come to any performances I do (bc she lives in that area and just commutes up here), and I did an… acted-out (?) runthrough of my recital piece and I think it went super well. Knock on wood but I’m excited :3
#I get to pretend I’m singing to my dying grandchild who is an infant also. hooray#anyway ​I love my voice teacher SO MUCH I’m gonna miss her :(#but she gave me her number to text her with updates on all of my music stuff :D#also I just realized I forgot to remind her about this thing she asked me about a couple months ago…#she wanted to know if I wanted to write any poems to be set to music#as part of a group of local musicians and writers and whatnot that she’s starting#and I. wanted to remind her about it bc I really want to write Lieder poems are you kidding#that would be so cool and fun and. yeahh#I haven’t written poetry in quite a while but I miss it!#idk if my poetry is very lyrical…? I could make it work#or I guess the composer would be the one making it work#I forgot I talked to Eric Whitacre’s main lyric writer that one time…#he told me to just start sending my poems to composers. idk I think I’m too shy for that. also like. not nearly THAT talented lmao#but it would be fun…. maybe if nothing else I’ll ask my composer friends if they’d like to write anything together#I really want to stay involved in music <3#ALSO I WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING IN SOLRESOL SO BAD. I have so many Solresol art song drafts in Musescore#it sucks so bad as both a conlang and a musical thing. but it’s very cool as a poetic thing#anyway tangent aside I guess I’ll ask her about it at the recital or maybe mention it to her husband when I see him#he’s a composer too! ooh#musicposting
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earlysunshines · 5 months ago
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L word
kim minji x fem!reader
synopsis: minji gets drunk while she’s away and you’re sent a video of her rambling on about how much she misses u
warnings: sappy sweet lovely ; minji a loser FORREAL i will never let this go. ; alcohol! yummmmmyyy ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread
a/n: hello WHATS UP im HOME i have a new cat keychain and milk blush HOORAY anyways girlfriend of the year goes to
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it’s the last day of minji’s stupid volleyball camp – the camp four hours away from you, her beloved girlfriend – and she’s surrounded by her teammates, a few bottles of soju and wine they somehow managed to sneak in, and the growing haze of too much alcohol. 
leaning her head against the back of the couch, she tries desperately to keep herself from losing her mind.
what’s pushing her to the edge isn’t just the alcohol—it’s the fact that she made the rookie mistake of glancing at her phone’s wallpaper. there you are, hair up, face bare, looking effortlessly beautiful as you make breakfast in the morning. you’re caught in the middle of a candid moment, gazing at the camera with a confused expression, your hand blurred as you try to grab the phone from her. 
(“hey!” you groan, rushing towards her with a spatula in your hand. minji laughs, backing away and pushing your head away with her hand, making you groan again. “delete that!”
“nuh uh.” minji grins at you, then puts her phone in her pocket. you still look annoyed, but minji finds it the best thing to wake up to. “what’s all this?” she asks, moving her head to to the side to eye the stove.
you blush, turning away and walking back to where the stove is. you check up on the four eggs you’re cooking, then mumble, “i figured since it’s your first time staying over at my place… i’d make you breakfast.”
it doesn’t show, other than the slight tint of pink on minji’s cheeks, but she might lose her mind, maybe even get down on one knee.
“aw, thanks.”)
the image is sweet, simple, and yet, to minji, you look absolutely adorable. it’s enough to make her heart ache with longing, the kind that no amount of soju can drown out.
minji tilts her head back and downs another shot, wincing as the burn slides down her throat. she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through her chest. alcohol has never been her strong suit—not like you, who can handle a few drinks without batting an eye. minji’s a lightweight, and by the third shot, she’s already feeling the effects, regretting every dose more than she wants to admit.
around her, her teammates are lost in their own conversations, faces flushed from the alcohol. haewon, the team’s setter, has somehow managed to smuggle in a bottle of wine and is well past her limit, babbling on about some guy she’s been talking to and clinging onto bae defeatedly. 
minji tries to focus, to engage in the chatter, but her mind keeps wandering back to you. your image, your smile, the way you look at her—it all tugs at her heart, pulling her deeper into her thoughts, further away from the room full of laughter and slurred words. she checks her phone again after feeling it vibrate against the floor, immediately checking it and catching another glimpse of another photo of you in her lockscreen rotation; this time, she sees you studying in the background, the time covering apart of your head, and a few texts from you.
[y/n]
hey babe i hope you’re having fun! i’m going to sleep, goodnight! miss you xx see you tomorrow lovely
minji stares at her screen, her frown deepening as if the notifications had just announced the end of the world. she knows it’s the alcohol making her overly emotional, but that doesn’t stop her from feeling the weight in her chest. with a frustrated sigh, she lets her phone slip from her fingers, landing with a soft thud on the ground. the sudden movement draws the attention of her teammates, their chatter quieting as they turn to her.
“what’s wrong miss team captain?” ryujin teases, a playful smirk tugging at her lips.
minji, usually the composed and level-headed one, surprises everyone when she lets out a dramatic whine and leans her head against danielle, who’s sitting next to her. the room falls silent as minji wraps her arms tighter around her knees, her voice small and filled with longing.
“i miss my girlfriend,” she confesses with a heavy sigh. she picks up her phone again, staring at the lock screen—another candid moment that you look adorable in. “i miss y/n so much.”
her teammates exchange glances, surprised by the rare display of vulnerability from their usually stoic captain, but they can’t help but smile at how deeply minji cares for you. hanni, the libero, is very entertained by this rare sight of minji. she pulls out her phone and snickers, pressing record and holding it up secretly. 
danielle lets minji sulk into her, she’s the only sober one in the room and is in the right mind to say anything meaningful in this situation. “do you need water?”
“i need y/n.” minji murmurs, rubbing her face in her hands and making her face even more red. “i miss her…”
“it’s been four days minji…”
“i want to be with her all the time… always.” minji confesses, her voice trembling with a vulnerability that takes everyone by surprise. her hand reaches for another shot glass, but danielle quickly intervenes, her concern clear. yet, minji manages to avoid her and downs the drink anyway, the alcohol burning its way down as she wipes her lips with the back of her hand.
“i–i…” minji stammers, squeezing her eyes shut as if trying to hold back a flood of emotions. her fingers fumble for her phone, and when she finally grasps it, a soft smile spreads across her face. she turns the screen to show her teammates a candid picture of you nestled against her, your peaceful expression illuminated by the dim light from your lamp. you had completely passed out against her that day after studying for one of your more important tests, that was also the moment minji realized she loved you. “my beautiful y/n, my lovely…” she murmurs, flipping the screen back to herself as if savoring the sight. “...y/n.”
danielle can’t help but giggle softly, gently helping minji to her feet. “she’s very sweet, but i think it’s time we get this sweet girl’s girlfriend back to her hotel room. you’ve had enough, minji.”
minji shakes her head, her pout deepening as her eyes glisten with unshed tears. the rest of the team watches in stunned silence, taken aback by the raw, unguarded side of minji they’ve never seen before. they knew she adored you—her eyes always sparkled when she mentioned you, and her demeanor softened in your presence—but this...this was something deeper, something that laid her heart bare for all to see.
“i love y/n so much… she’s the only… girl… ever,” minji slurs, her words heavy with emotion as she sways slightly on her feet.
“well!” danielle tilts her head, laughing softly at minji's endearing confession. hanni, meanwhile, can’t resist giggling as she records the entire scene, already planning to send it to you later. danielle carefully helps minji to her feet, steadying her as she turns to the team. “i’m going to get her to bed—someone’s turned into a sappy lovebird.”
“no, please keep her here,” ryujin pleads, clearly relishing in her captain’s rare moment of vulnerability. “this is gold.”
but danielle, the only one with a working moral compass, shakes her head, her gaze shifting to minji, whose blinks are becoming slower, her hair a tousled mess, and her cheeks flushed a deep red. minji clings to danielle, her voice barely above a whisper as she mumbles, “i miss her… i wanna see my y/n… i love my y/n, i love her…”
danielle sighs, gently guiding minji toward the door. “come on, let’s get you to bed. you’ll see her soon enough.” minji nods, though she continues to mumble your name like a mantra, earning giggles from her teammates even after she’s dragged out by danielle.
minji feels like she’s been hit by a bus when she wakes up. her head is pounding, her hair is tangled and a chunk is in her mouth, and her body is twisted in an awkward position that leaves her neck sore. 
she groans, blinking a few times as she rubs her eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. blindly, she reaches for her phone on the bedside table, and when her fingers finally graze the cold device, she squints at the screen—nine in the morning. the bus back leaves at ten.
it strikes her with the sharpness of an unexpected breeze. she gasps at the sight of the numbers, shooting up from the bed in a panic. in her rush, she nearly trips over her shoes, cursing under her breath as she fumbles to get herself ready.
her phone ends up on the sink counter as she splashes water over her face, trying to clear the fog in her mind. as the cold water shocks her system awake, another revelation dawns on her—she hasn’t responded to you yet. panic seizes her chest as she reaches for her phone, guilt and worry mixing with the lingering headache.
your texts are still unanswered, and there’s also a text from danielle asking if minji is alright, but you’re her first priority.
minji clicks on your contact, then presses ‘facetime’. water drips down her face and onto her shirt a bit before you pick up. 
“hey babe–”
“sorry i didn’t get to respond.” minji apologizes. you can only see the top half of her face looking down on you before she sets up the phone clumsily. you giggle and catch minji smiling at the sound of it. “the team and i we were…” minji can’t exactly remember much from the night before, she can only recall around seven bottles of soju on the ground, plus those two bottles of wine haewon brought. “... up late.”
“right.” you mumble, trying to contain a smile. “i missed you.”
minji almost misses her toothbrush while putting toothpaste on it. she clenches her jaw and looks at you in the camera, trying to conceal just how flustered you make her.
“me too.”
“how much?”
“a lot.” minji says, then starts brushing. it’s almost inaudible, but you manage to make out the small, “more than you missed me.” she mumbles as she brushes her back teeth.
“you’re so cute.” you murmur, then take a picture her in the moment.
minji groans when she sees the notification that you captured her while she’s a mess, minji is not a morning person. she puts her hand up to cover the camera as she continues brushing, but moves it away when she hears you giggling, wanting to see your face scrunch up cutely and your teeth show slightly when you laugh like that.
your girlfriend rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless.
minji has always been the reserved, playful type. you've seen glimpses of her more intimate side, but she's still shy about fully expressing her emotions. just like you, she's new to romance, and sometimes it shows in the way she kisses you just because, holds your hand with a gentle smile, or whispers compliments that warm your heart. 
but underneath that playful exterior, there's a lot she keeps hidden. minji’s good at concealing her deeper feelings, partly because she's shy, and partly because she’s still in disbelief that she managed to win your heart.
truthfully, minji is a mess. she’s head over heels when you kiss her cheek before you two part ways on campus. she’s even worse when you light up immediately at the sight of her outside your lecture room, and really anything you do makes her go batshit insane. but minji’s not going to show that, she doesn’t show any of it, so you’ve only seen her ‘cool, calm, and collected’ side–you think it’s cute, but what’s even cuter is the new side of her you’ve just been exposed to.
another truth is that you woke up to a good morning text from hanni before minji had even stirred. the message instantly made you feel all warm and giggly inside. there was a cheerful "good morning sunshine!" followed by a video and a teasing ":P you’ll love this girly." you clicked on the notification, squinting at the screen as you opened the video hanni sent.
the thumbnail showed minji, her cheeks flushed as she leaned against the couch. when you pressed play, hanni’s laughter echoed from behind the camera as she shakily recorded your girlfriend.
you watched as minji, looking like an adorable, sad puppy, leaned against danielle and started confessing how much she missed you. the sight made your heart swell, a huge smile spreading across your face. minji, with her flushed cheeks and vulnerable expression, showed off her lockscreen to the team, getting even sappier as she proudly displayed your photo. 
 “my beautiful y/n, my lovely…” you hear her murmur, she turns the screen back to look at it lovingly. “...y/n.”
you couldn’t help but blush and kick your feet in bed, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. seeing how tipsy she was—four empty shot glasses scattered around her—explained why she was rambling about you, talking about how much she missed you. the whole thing made you giggle, your heart fluttering with affection for your sweet, slightly drunk minji.
what catches you off guard and nearly has you falling off your bed is when you catch minji saying:
“i love y/n so much… she’s the only… girl… ever,” she slurs it out drunkenly, but it’s heartwarming. she says i like a lead in a romance film, and it sounds genuine. then she says it over and over, and even if she’s drunk, drunk words are sober thoughts – that’s what you believe.
minji just said the L word and you weren’t there to witness it in real time. it’s been three months and minji said it first. if you could magically teleport to her in that moment you’d do it in a heartbeat.
your girlfriend arrives at your apartment in the afternoon. she knocks at your door and you open it with an eager smile, immediately pulling her in by the wrist and closing the door behind her.
minji giggles before you pull her in for a kiss, wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling away to smile.
“missed you silly.”
“missed you more.”
“i bet.” you mumble before pecking her again, then smiling cheekily against her lips. “hey, i wanted to ask about something – also show you something too.”
your arms are still around her neck, and her hands rest above your waist as she looks at you through her adorable black frames. “okay?” she says, tilting her head.
you grab her by the wrist and lead her over to your couch, both of you flop down on it and you lean against her shoulder. she puts her arm around you as you grab your phone, then kisses your head softly while you pull something up.
“hanni sent me something interesting.” you shrug, fighting the smile that’s trying to form on your face. “i wanted to show you.”
“hm, okay.”
you pull up your messages and minji feels herself stiffening looking at the thumbnail of the video hanni had sent. you press play and she realizes it’s a video from the night before, so she stops you, grabbing your phone and turning it off.
“hey!” you groan, reaching over to grab your phone back. “don’t just–”
“whatever she sent, that’s not–”
“just watch the video!” you poke her side and she loosens her grip, which gives you a moment to snatch your phone back. “just–”
minji’s cheeks are crimson, she’s flustered beyond measure. she sighs, crossing her arms now and turning away from you. “that’s not– look, i was drunk out of my mind…”
“okay well i don’t care, i want you to watch it so i can ask you something.”
“y/n, please baby.”
“don’t baby me.” you say with fake annoyance, pressing play again. “watch,” you order, then mumble a small, “you’re really cute.”
minji shifts uncomfortably as she watches the video, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. she cringes at the sight of herself with flushed cheeks, collapsing onto danielle, and the video captures her in a state of drunken vulnerability–it’s mortifying to minji, but you’re enjoying every second of it.
as the footage plays, minji’s cringing even more. she sees herself leaning into danielle, eyes glassy, as she gushes about how much she misses you. her gaze flits to her lockscreen being proudly displayed, her face a deep shade of red. she bites her lip, feeling every bit of her embarrassment as the video continues.
"i– i just... missed you—" she tries to explain before you cut her off.
“shh, shh. we’re not at the best part yet.” 
hanni pham i’ll kill you. minji thinks to herself, forcing herself to watch the rest of the video. 
minji's face flushes even more at the sound of her own voice confessing her feelings. hanni’s giggles in the background only make the situation worse. minji hears herself repeatedly saying "i love y/n" with a tone of longing, the video ending with hanni's laughter echoing.
“so,” you pull away from her, looking at your thrown off girlfriend in front of you with raised brows. “what did you think.”
“i–” minji pinches the bridge of her nose, then looks at you looking at her with an expectant expression and a teasing smile. “--look.”
“you said the L word.”
she furrows her brows. “what?”
“you said it, the L word.”
“oh my god y/n.” minji can’t help but laugh in the moment, purely from disbelief. she sighs, giving you a crooked smile. “is this about me saying… that?”
“saying what?” you push her buttons successfully, watching her bite the inside of her cheek.
“you know what.”
“say it.”
“what?”
“say it to my face.” you purse your lips, then bite the inside of your bottom lip. 
minji glances away, her face a mixture of vivid red and palpable anxiety. the embarrassment still colors her cheeks, but now there’s an additional hue of nervousness. it’s not that she’s new to romantic things like this with you—far from it. it’s just that her feelings for you are so profound, so overwhelming, that they’ve left her floundering, struggling to match the intensity of her emotions with her actions. sometimes it feels like her heart and brain work independently, or maybe it’s just her heart doing most of the work, it’s a mess, a beating wreck always.
you’ve managed to make her feel like a mess, an idiot, and utterly smitten, all by existing.
she takes a deep breath, forcing herself to look you squarely in the eye. her cheeks remain flushed, and she fidgets with her fingers, betraying her inner turmoil.
“i love you.”
“who?”
“you, y/n.” minji groans, leaning towards you and sliding her hand above your waist again. she presses your skin lightly with her fingertips, before repeating herself, “i love you y/n.” her voice is low and she looks at you through her eyelashes, now you’re all nervous.
you can’t speak or breathe in the moment, so you opt for leaning in and kissing her, but she pushes you away after one peck, looking at you with raised brows.
“you’re not going to say it back?” minji smirks, her gaze unwavering as she watches you avert your eyes. her expression turns playful yet determined as she gently hooks her finger under your chin, forcing you to meet her gaze once more. her thumb rests lightly on your lower jaw, her fingers pressing gently against your cheeks. “what was all that interrogation for if you’re—”
“i love you.” you confess, breath hitching when she looks at you like that. “i love you minji.”
minji smiles, clearly satisfied. “wasn’t that hard, was it?”
“i hate you.”
“but you love me.”
“yeah, but i hate you.”
“uh huh.” minji chuckles, fingers still holding your face and using that to pull you closer and kiss you.
despite the embarrassment she’s feeling, minji somehow remains more composed than you. she pushes her glasses up to sit on the crown of her head before her lips brush against yours with a tender softness, and she hums as she kisses you again. when she pulls away just enough to speak, her breath mingles with yours as she murmurs against your lips,
“i L word you a lot y/n.” she pecks you again, then says one more time before taking your breath away, “i love you so much you loser.”
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